1 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:13,381 STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH... 2 00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:15,683 WITH RONNY HOWARD... 3 00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:19,320 ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS. 4 00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:25,626 HI, MS. BURTON! 5 00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:27,061 MS. BURTON! 6 00:00:27,095 --> 00:00:29,397 SHE'S A SWEET LITTLE WOMAN, YOU KNOW THAT? 7 00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:30,398 YES, SHE IS. 8 00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:31,532 NEVER COMPLAINS. 9 00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,201 NEVER ONCE HAVE I HEARD 10 00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:35,703 THE TINIEST COMPLAINT FROM THAT WOMAN. 11 00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:36,737 HAVE YOU, AND? 12 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:40,074 I CAN'T SAY THAT I HAVE. 13 00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:41,842 WHAT'S SHE GOT TO COMPLAIN OF? 14 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:45,446 YOU KIDDING? SAM. 15 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,349 ALL THE TIME. 16 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,483 YOU DON'T MEAN IT. 17 00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:51,085 OH, DON'T STRIKE A MATCH 18 00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:53,354 IF HE'S BREATHING IN YOUR DIRECTION. 19 00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:56,624 I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 20 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:57,625 OH, YEAH. 21 00:01:01,129 --> 00:01:02,396 HOWDY, DICK! 22 00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:03,864 DICK RINNECKER. 23 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:04,865 HI, DICK! 24 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,534 HE'S GOT HIS HAT ON. 25 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,202 YEAH, I NOTICED THAT. 26 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:10,704 HE MUST'VE HEARD ON THE RADIO 27 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,473 WHERE THE WIND MIGHT BE COMIN' UP TODAY. 28 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,675 YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T WEAR ONE OF THEM WIGS 29 00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,444 FOR ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD. 30 00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:17,711 I'D LIVE IN TERROR 31 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,613 I WAS GONNA GET CAUGHT IN A SUDDEN WIND. 32 00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:25,453 ANGE? 33 00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:26,587 HM? 34 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,157 MYRA KOONTZ FROM THE LINGERIE SHOP. 35 00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:31,325 OH, YEAH. HUH. 36 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,663 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 37 00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,231 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 38 00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:39,567 YOU'RE LOOKING AT MYRA AND SMILING FUNNY. 39 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,170 OH, WELL, I WAS JUST THINKING, YOU KNOW. 40 00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:45,139 YOU KNOW THE STORY THAT'S GOIN' AROUND ABOUT HER. 41 00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:46,440 NO, WHAT STORY IS THAT? 42 00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:47,441 YOU KNOW. 43 00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:49,743 NO, I DON'T. WHAT IS IT? 44 00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,712 AW, COME ON, YOU KNOW. 45 00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:54,215 I DON'T KNOW. TELL ME THE STORY. 46 00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,650 WELL, IF YOU DON'T KNOW, I'M NOT GONNA TELL YA. 47 00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:58,186 IT'S JUST GOSSIP. 48 00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,154 YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT SPREADIN' GOSSIP. 49 00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:03,291 BARN...COME ON. 50 00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:06,494 TELL ME THE STORY ABOUT MYRA. 51 00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:09,330 WELL... 52 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,566 WHAT THEY'RE TELLIN' ABOUT HER IS -- 53 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,768 WAIT A MINUTE. BEN WEAVER'S WAVIN' AT US. 54 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,239 HI, BEN! 55 00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:21,709 ANYWAYS, MYRA -- 56 00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:23,711 I DON'T THINK THAT'S A FRIENDLY WAVE. 57 00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:24,845 I THINK HE WANTS US. 58 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:25,913 OH, YEAH? 59 00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:27,515 YEAH. COME ON. 60 00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:39,427 DID YOU WANT US, BEN? 61 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:40,728 YOU'RE DARN RIGHT! 62 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,496 I CALLED, BUT THERE WAS NO ONE IN YOUR OFFICE. 63 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,865 NO, WE'VE BEEN DOING OUR POLICING ON THE STREET TODAY. 64 00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,200 WHAT'S WRONG? 65 00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,301 WELL, PLENTY! I'M BEING ROBBED. 66 00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:48,936 ROBBED?! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO? 67 00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:50,238 PUT THAT GUN AWAY. 68 00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:51,772 I'M NOT BEING ROBBED RIGHT NOW. 69 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,841 I MEAN, IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF ROBBERY. 70 00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,844 I MEAN THAT THINGS ARE DISAPPEARING FROM THE STORE. 71 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:59,280 WHEN'D YOU NOTICE IT, BEN? JUST A MINUTE AGO. 72 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:01,849 I WENT TO GET A SILVER TEA SET THAT WE HAD, AND IT WAS GONE. 73 00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:04,552 I STARTED CHECKING, AND THERE'S LOTS MORE THINGS MISSING. 74 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,220 WELL, SOMEBODY'S WALKING OFF WITH THAT STUFF. 75 00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:07,488 THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING. 76 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,990 AND YOU THINK I NEED YOU TO TELL ME THAT? 77 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:13,527 COME ON, LET'S GO INSIDE, SHERIFF. 78 00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:20,901 BUSINESS BEEN PRETTY GOOD LATELY. 79 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,803 PEOPLE HAVE BEEN IN FROM ALL OVER. 80 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,005 YOU JUST PUT YOUR MIND AT EASE, MR. WEAVER. 81 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,840 THIS IS A ROUTINE POLICE MATTER. 82 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:29,277 LOCK THE DOORS, ANDY, AND I'LL LINE 'EM UP. 83 00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:30,278 ALL RIGHT, YOU...! 84 00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:31,579 DO YOU WANT TO RUIN ME? 85 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,614 Do you want to break this case or not? 86 00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:34,982 Just take it easy. 87 00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:36,850 THIS HAS GOT TO BE HANDLED WITH KID GLOVES. 88 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:39,287 I KNOW, BEN. BARNEY WAS JUST TRYIN' TO HELP. 89 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,721 A FAT LOT OF THANKS I GOT. 90 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,590 WHY DON'T YOU JUST WANDER AROUND, 91 00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,758 LOOK AROUND THE STORE WHILE I TALK TO BEN? 92 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,360 ALL RIGHT. 93 00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:47,695 IF YOU WANT TO PUSSYFOOT AROUND ABOUT THIS, 94 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,664 IT'S YOUR BUSINESS. 95 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:56,937 BEN, HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS STUFF AIN'T BEIN' LIFTED AT NIGHT? 96 00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,539 YOU KNOW, BURGLARY? 97 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,974 WELL, I-I GOT A NIGHT WATCHMAN, ASA BREENEY. 98 00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:04,312 ASA? MM. 99 00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:05,513 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 100 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,014 WELL, ASA'S GETTIN' PRETTY OLD. 101 00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:09,383 I JUST HOPE HE AIN'T DOZIN' ON THE JOB. 102 00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:37,911 HOW MUCH YOU THINK'S MISSING, BEN? 103 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,680 WELL, I DON'T KNOW. 104 00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,515 I HAVEN'T TOTALED IT UP, BUT I CAN'T AFFORD IT ANYWAY. 105 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:42,750 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO 106 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,318 ABOUT GIVING ME POLICE PROTECTION? 107 00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:46,420 WE'LL DO WHAT WE CAN. WE'LL DO WHAT WE CAN. 108 00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:48,422 BUT WE CAN'T STAY HERE EVERY MINUTE, NOW. 109 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:49,690 WE'RE NOT PRIVATE DETECTIVES. 110 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,058 BUT I'M BEING ROBBED BLIND! 111 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,292 I REALIZE THAT. 112 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,731 REALLY! 113 00:04:57,765 --> 00:05:00,334 MRS. FLORENCE. 114 00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:02,636 THE BEST THING FOR YOU TO DO IS KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN, 115 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,872 AND IF YOU SEE ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS, GIVE US A CALL, 116 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,039 AND WE'LL COME RIGHT OVER. 117 00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:07,541 I SUPPOSE YOU'D LIKE FOR ME 118 00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:09,109 TO GET THE CROOK'S NAME AND ADDRESS 119 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,044 TO SAVE YOU THE TROUBLE?! 120 00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:13,447 THAT'D BE A HELP, BEN. 121 00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,849 WE'LL HAVE TO BE GOING NOW. 122 00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:20,554 BARN. 123 00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:21,789 BARN, LET'S GO. 124 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,724 HEY, ANDY, EVER SEE ONE OF THESE? 125 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:26,126 IT'S A BEER-CAN OPENER WITH AN UMBRELLA ON IT. 126 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:28,762 MAKE A NICE GIFT, WOULDN'T IT? 127 00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:30,564 YEAH. FOR MOTHER'S DAY. 128 00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:32,566 MOTHER'S DAY. 129 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,135 THAT WAY SHE COULD OPEN CANS IN THE RAIN 130 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,104 WITHOUT GETTIN' HER HANDS WET. 131 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,606 YEAH. YOU CHARACTER. 132 00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:40,408 WITHOUT GETTIN' HER HANDS WET. 133 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,578 HEY, HEY... TELL ME ABOUT MYRA KOONTZ. 134 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:46,980 WELL, MYRA... 135 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,582 Mr. Weaver: BARNEY! 136 00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:51,351 PUT THAT BACK OR GIVE ME $1.25. 137 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,893 COME ON, ANGE. 138 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,171 SARAH, GET ME FIVE-NINE-SIX. 139 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,074 OH, I'M FINE. 140 00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:19,447 THELMA LOU? BARN. 141 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,448 YEAH. 142 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:21,749 FINE. 143 00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,917 LISTEN, THIS THING TONIGHT, HONEY, THE MOVIES? 144 00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,653 WELL, I'M AFRAID IT'S OUT. 145 00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:29,189 WELL, SOMETHIN' BIG'S COME UP. YEAH, POLICE BUSINESS. 146 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,959 NO, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TRASH CANS! 147 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,194 IT'S A STAKEOUT! 148 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,664 YEAH, WEAVER'S STORE. 149 00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,599 WELL, THEY BEEN MOVIN' STUFF OUT OF THERE 150 00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,434 AND I GOT A HUNCH THEY MIGHT BE BACK. 151 00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:41,569 YEAH. 152 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,070 SURE, I'M GOING IN THERE ALONE. 153 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,938 I DON'T WANT TO BOTHER ANDY WITH IT. 154 00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:48,642 HE'S A FAMILY MAN. IT'S GOT TO BE DONE. 155 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:50,811 WELL, LISTEN, HONEY, THERE'S ONE MORE THING. 156 00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,946 IN CASE SOMETHIN' HAPPENS... 157 00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,948 WELL, I WANT YOU TO KNOW 158 00:06:54,982 --> 00:07:00,187 THAT YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I EVER GAVE A HOOT FOR, OKAY? 159 00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,823 AND WE'LL GO TO THE MOVIE TOMORROW NIGHT, OKAY? 160 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,592 OKAY, KEEP A GOOD THOUGHT. 161 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:05,959 YEAH, I'LL BE CAREFUL. 162 00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:07,427 RIGHT. 163 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:46,820 JUST KEEP LAUGHING! 164 00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:50,590 SHIVER ME KAZOOKS! 165 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,002 WHO'S THERE? 166 00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:10,403 WHO'S THERE?! 167 00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:13,807 YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST! I GOT YOU COVERED! 168 00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,442 I GOT YOU COVERED! 169 00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:18,278 DON'T SHOOT! DON'T SHOOT! 170 00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,714 IT'S -- IT'S ME, BEN WEAVER! 171 00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:22,282 THEY'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE. WHERE? 172 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,917 Barney: ANDY, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE! 173 00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:27,087 I'VE BEEN STANDIN' OFF THE WHOLE GANG! 174 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,155 WHAT GANG? 175 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,457 HUH WHA... WHA...? 176 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,295 NOBODY HERE BUT US? 177 00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,764 IT LOOKS THAT WAY. 178 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:39,166 BARNEY, QUIT WAVIN' THAT GUN AROUND 179 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,001 AND PUT IT IN YOUR HOLSTER. 180 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,302 IT'S A GOOD THING 181 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:43,503 YOU GUYS DIDN'T RUN INTO ONE ANOTHER. 182 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,072 SOMEBODY MIGHT HAVE GOT HURT. 183 00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,740 WHAT ARE YOU FELLAS DOIN' HERE? 184 00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:48,341 I THOUGHT IT WAS CROOKS. CROOKS?! 185 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,477 THERE WAS ENOUGH GOING ON HERE TO WAKE THE DEAD 186 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,345 AND YOU SLEEP THROUGH THE WHOLE THING! 187 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,114 I DID NOT SLEEP THROUGH THE WHOLE THING. 188 00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,382 I GOT UP. 189 00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:58,051 I GUESS THIS PROVES YOU WERE RIGHT, SHERIFF. 190 00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,320 I PROBABLY WAS ROBBED DURING THE NIGHT. 191 00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:03,256 IT'S EASY ENOUGH WITH RIP VAN WINKLE HERE ON GUARD. 192 00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,158 ACTUALLY, BEN, IT PROVES JUST THE OPPOSITE. 193 00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:06,159 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 194 00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:07,995 I BEEN STUDYING ABOUT IT 195 00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:10,998 AND I BELIEVE THAT STUFF HAD TO BE TAKEN IN BROAD DAYLIGHT 196 00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,499 RIGHT DURIN' BUSINESS HOURS. 197 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:13,500 YEAH? 198 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,235 YOU SAID THERE WAS A DOZEN 199 00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,870 OR A COUPLE DOZEN THINGS MISSIN'. 200 00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,538 IF THE CROOKS WAS COMIN' IN HERE AT NIGHT, 201 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:19,873 THEY WOULDN'T STOP AT THAT. 202 00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:21,274 THEY'D MOVE OUT THE WHOLE STORE. 203 00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:22,776 YOU SEE, BEN? 204 00:12:22,810 --> 00:12:24,211 IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AT NIGHT, WHEN I'M HERE. 205 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,379 IT HAPPENS DURING THE DAY, WHEN YOU'RE HERE. 206 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:29,182 OH, PIPE DOWN! J-JUST STAY AWAKE. 207 00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:31,418 WHAT DO YOU WANT? I'M UP NOW, AIN'T I? 208 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:34,021 SO THAT'S WHAT IT IS, HUH 209 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:36,990 BEN, YOU'RE BEIN' ROBBED BLIND IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. 210 00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:38,425 WELL, I'LL BE DOGGED. 211 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:41,394 MM. 212 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,931 LET'S GO, BARNEY. 213 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,834 IT WAS DARK IN THE STORE, ANGE. 214 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,001 I KNOW. I KNOW. 215 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:59,012 MORNING, BARN. 216 00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:00,881 I SAY, "MORNING, BARN." 217 00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,015 MORNING, ANDY. 218 00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:03,984 YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN WITH A THOUGHT. 219 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,253 I GOT MORE THAN A THOUGHT. I GOT A THEORY. 220 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,420 HUH 221 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,322 ABOUT WHO'S BEEN DOING ALL THE STEALING 222 00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:10,423 FROM WEAVER'S STORE. 223 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:11,558 OH, REALLY? YEAH. 224 00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:13,126 WANT TO HEAR MY THEORY? 225 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,127 I SURE DO. 226 00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:15,195 IT'S NOT VERY PRETTY. 227 00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:16,196 THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 228 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:18,431 AS A MATTER OF FACT, UH... 229 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,200 IT MAY COME AS QUITE A SHOCK. 230 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,201 THAT'S OKAY. 231 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:23,170 OKAY. 232 00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:24,237 READY TO HEAR IT? 233 00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:25,505 I'M BRACED. 234 00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,540 ALL RIGHT, LET'S PLAY IT QUESTION AND ANSWER. 235 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:29,042 NOW, I'LL ASK THE QUESTIONS, 236 00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:30,577 AND YOU ANSWER "YES" OR "NO," OKAY? 237 00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,212 OKAY. ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. 238 00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:35,115 "A" -- WHOSE STORE IS BEING ROBBED? 239 00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,285 UH... 240 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,386 NO? 241 00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:41,354 WHAT DO YOU MEAN "NO"? 242 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:43,023 YOU SAID, "ANSWER 'YES' OR 'NO.'" 243 00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:44,958 I MEANT ONE WORD -- ANSWER ONE WORD. 244 00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:46,359 YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT. 245 00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:48,328 ALL RIGHT, LET'S START AGAIN FROM THE BEGINNING, 246 00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,931 AND THIS TIME ANSWER IN ONE WORD, OKAY? 247 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,199 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 248 00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:53,967 "A" -- WHOSE STORE IS BEING ROBBED? 249 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:55,235 WEAVER'S. RIGHT. 250 00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,337 "B" -- WHO'S GOING TO COLLECT THE INSURANCE 251 00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,272 ON THOSE THEFTS? 252 00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:00,941 WEAVER. RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. 253 00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:03,310 "C" -- WHO WAS CREEPING AROUND IN THAT STORE LAST NIGHT? 254 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,411 YOU WERE. 255 00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,379 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I WERE? 256 00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:07,514 YOU WERE. 257 00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:09,616 'COURSE, I KNOW THAT'S TWO WORDS. 258 00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:12,452 NOW, DON'T GET PURPOSELY OBTUSE, ANDY. 259 00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:14,087 THE ANSWER IS WEAVER! 260 00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:15,188 WELL, I MISSED IT. 261 00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,224 WELL, PLAY THE GAME! PLAY THE GAME! 262 00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:19,092 I HATE IT WHEN YOU GET OBTUSE. 263 00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:20,427 NOW, WHERE'D I LEAVE OFF? 264 00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:21,661 "C." 265 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,296 ALL RIGHT, "D" -- WHO IN THEIR ENTIRE LIFE 266 00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:26,033 EVER GOT A BARGAIN IN WEAVER'S STORE? 267 00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:27,400 UH... 268 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:28,401 WEAVER? 269 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:29,903 AW, COME ON, ANDY 270 00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:31,571 I'M TRYING TO GIVE YOU THE NAME OF THE CRIMINAL 271 00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:32,906 AND YOU WON'T ACCEPT IT. 272 00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:33,974 THE ANSWER IS NOBODY! 273 00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,475 NOBODY'S THE CRIMINAL? 274 00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:37,510 BOY, WHEN YOU GET OBTUSE... 275 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,312 WELL, I'M SORRY, BARN, 276 00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:41,348 BUT I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE AIMING AT. 277 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,050 THEN LET ME SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU. 278 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,684 WEAVER IS STEALING FROM HIS OWN STORE! 279 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,053 OH, COME ON. 280 00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:47,554 FOR THE INSURANCE, DON'T YOU SEE, ANDY? 281 00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:49,689 HE SPIRITS THOSE THINGS OUT OF THE STORE, 282 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,191 COLLECTS ON THE INSURANCE, 283 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,260 AND THEN SELLS THE MERCHANDISE BESIDES. 284 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:54,995 HE GETS DOUBLE ON EVERYTHING. 285 00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:57,564 BARNEY, THAT'S JUST PLAIN NONSENSE. 286 00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,099 WEAVER'S NO CROOK. 287 00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:01,601 H-HE'S A SHARP BUSINESSMAN, MAYBE, 288 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,303 BUT HE WOULDN'T STEAL. 289 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:05,438 HE'S ONE OF OUR MOST-RESPECTED CITIZENS 290 00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:07,507 ONE OF OUR BEST CHURCH-GOING MEMBERS-- 291 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,042 HE KNOWS EVERY HYMN IN THE BOOK. 292 00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:10,310 OH, THAT'S JUST A FRONT. 293 00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:11,644 YOU WATCH HIM SOMETIME WHEN WE'RE SINGING 294 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,280 "LEANING ON THE EVERLASTING ARMS." 295 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,348 HE DON'T EVEN KNOW THE WORDS! HE JUST MOVES HIS LIPS! 296 00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:16,716 WELL, NEVERTHELESS 297 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,119 YOUR THEORY ABOUT WEAVER STEALING FROM HIMSELF 298 00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,920 IS JUST PLAIN HOGWASH. 299 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,196 WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER THEORY? NO. 300 00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:30,330 ASA. BARNEY... 301 00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,232 NOW, WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR 302 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,567 IS A PLAIN, ORDINARY SHOPLIFTER. 303 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:38,038 NOW, THE STORE'S GONNA OPEN IN ABOUT 15 MINUTES. 304 00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,273 WHY DON'T YOU GO ON OVER THERE 305 00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:42,042 AND GIVE BEN THE FEELING 306 00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:46,246 WE'RE GIVING HIM A LITTLE COOPERATION? 307 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,381 IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU WANT IT. 308 00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:49,582 IT IS. 309 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,451 NOW, BE AS INCONSPICUOUS AS POSSIBLE 310 00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,120 AND KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN. 311 00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:56,123 I'LL BE OVER AND RELIEVE YOU AFTER A WHILE. 312 00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,729 WILL YOU TAKE ONE LOOK IN THE TRUNK OF WEAVER'S CAR? 313 00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,097 NO. 314 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:14,474 MORNING, BEN. 315 00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,276 OH, MORNING, SHERIFF. 316 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,477 IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 317 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:18,611 OH, AS FAR AS I KNOW. 318 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:22,382 I'VE BEEN KEEPING MY EYES OPEN. 319 00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,217 WHERE'S BARNEY? 320 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:25,285 BARNEY? 321 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,287 HOW SHOULD I KNOW? 322 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,455 AIN'T HE HERE? 323 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,024 I SENT HIM OVER HERE ABOUT AN HOUR AGO. 324 00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:32,392 WELL, I AIN'T SEEN HIM. 325 00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,561 HUH. 326 00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:52,679 Psst! 327 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:54,647 Psst! 328 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,749 Andy. 329 00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:06,259 BARNEY? 330 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,395 Keep your voice down. 331 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:09,796 Don't look at me. 332 00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:12,632 Just act natural. Now, stand by. 333 00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,634 I got my eyes on our bird right now. 334 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,136 YOU MEAN THE SHOPLIFTER? 335 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:18,838 Yeah. Keep moving. Wait for my signal. 336 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,207 WELL, BARNEY -- 337 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,408 I said, go, go, go, go! 338 00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:22,542 ALL RIGHT. 339 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:12,659 NO, THANK YOU, LEON. NO, THANK YOU. 340 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,369 Scram, Leon. Scram. 341 00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:26,906 No, Leon. Unh-unh! Unh-unh! 342 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,141 Unh-unh! 343 00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:32,345 Please, Leon, I am on a case! 344 00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:39,486 SAY, ISN'T THAT BARNEY FIFE? 345 00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,821 Woman: SAY, IT DOES LOOK LIKE HIM, DOESN'T IT? 346 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,891 EXCEPT THE DUMMY'S MUCH BETTER LOOKING. 347 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,463 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? S! 348 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:52,865 IF YOU'D JUST WAITED A COUPLE OF MORE MINUTES, I -- 349 00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:54,801 WELL, I'LL HAVE TO MAKE MY MOVE NOW. 350 00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:57,770 FOLLOW ME! ANDY! 351 00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,410 ALL RIGHT, SWEETHEART, THE GAME'S UP. 352 00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:04,911 THIS IS THE END OF THE LINE FOR YOU. 353 00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,546 WHAT? WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS? 354 00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,248 BARNEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! 355 00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:10,217 I'M NABBING YOUR SHOPLIFTER, THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING. 356 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:11,218 SHOPLIFTER?! 357 00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,785 ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF... 358 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:15,522 WELL, OF ALL THE NERVE. HOW DARE YOU! 359 00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:17,557 BARNEY, ARE YOU SURE? ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE? 360 00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,526 I'D STAKE MY REPUTATION AS A POLICE OFFICER. 361 00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:21,694 SHE'S THE ONE, ALL RIGHT. A STRANGER IN TOWN, TOO. 362 00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:23,196 U-UH, FOLKS, 363 00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:24,931 WOULD YOU JUST GO ON BACK ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS? 364 00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:26,899 GO ON ABOUT YOUR SHOPPING, LADIES. 365 00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,801 BOYS, GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS. 366 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,237 UH, MA'AM... 367 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,771 JUST TAKE A LOOK IN THE BAG, ANDY. 368 00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:32,939 THAT'S ALL YOU NEED. 369 00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:34,474 ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? 370 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,343 THE BAG, SWEETHEART-- EMPTY IT OUT! 371 00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,278 YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT I HAVE IN MY BAG? 372 00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:40,313 THAT'S RIGHT, SWEETHEART. VERY WELL! 373 00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:43,216 YOU SEE? THIS IS ALL I HAVE IN HERE. 374 00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:44,217 MY KNITTING... 375 00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:45,518 AND THIS. 376 00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:48,455 I ALWAYS CARRY THIS WITH ME WHEREVER I GO. 377 00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:50,857 UH... 378 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,292 A BIBLE? 379 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:53,593 BARNEY! 380 00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:55,395 Andy: BEN, TAKE IT EASY, JUST TAKE IT EASY. 381 00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:58,565 MA'AM, I'M AFRAID WE'VE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE. 382 00:19:58,598 --> 00:19:59,832 YOU CERTAINLY HAVE. 383 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,535 WHAT I SHOULD DO IS SUE THIS STORE -- 384 00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,904 SUE IT FOR EVERY PENNY THEY'VE GOT. 385 00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:07,374 OH, PLEASE, MADAM. 386 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:08,741 WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. 387 00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:10,843 SHERIFF, GET HIM OUT OF HERE! 388 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,445 ALL RIGHT, BEN. COME ON, BARN. 389 00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:13,746 I SAW HER WITH MY OWN EYES. 390 00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:14,914 FORGET IT, BARN. 391 00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:16,316 THIS IS A TERRIBLE DISGRACE TO ME! 392 00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:17,717 I SEEN HER WITH MY OWN EYES! 393 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,852 NOW, I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN WRONG! I JUST COULDN'T! 394 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:20,953 JUST TAKE IT EASY, BARN. 395 00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:22,389 Mr. Weaver: BARNEY! 396 00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:24,591 BRING BACK THAT JACKET AND HAT! 397 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,966 I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU IS ALL. 398 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,804 BARNEY, YOU MADE A COUPLE OF MISTAKES IN THERE. 399 00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,005 IN THE FIRST PLACE, 400 00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:40,973 YOU'VE GOT TO BE AWFUL, AWFUL CAREFUL 401 00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:42,909 OF WHO YOU ACCUSE OF SHOPLIFTING. 402 00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:45,478 BUT, ANDY, I SEEN HER WITH MY OWN EYES, NOW -- 403 00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:46,746 AND IN THE SECOND PLACE 404 00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,815 YOU NEVER MAKE YOUR ARREST INSIDE THE STORE. 405 00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:50,650 NO MATTER WHAT A PERSON'S GOT ON THEM 406 00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:52,319 INSIDE THE STORE, 407 00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:53,753 THEY CAN ALWAYS CLAIM THEY WAS GONNA PAY FOR IT. 408 00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,922 BUT WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT -- 409 00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:58,525 BUT WHEN YOU GET THEM ON THE OUTSIDE 410 00:20:58,558 --> 00:20:59,792 AND THEY GOT ANYTHING 411 00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:01,361 THEY DON'T HAVE A SALES SLIP FOR... 412 00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:03,396 ANDY, WILL YOU JUST POSTPONE THE LECTURE? 413 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,932 I JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE AND FORGET THE WHOLE THING. 414 00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:08,301 DON'T GO. 415 00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:10,570 I GOT A LITTLE LINE ON A SUSPECT MYSELF. 416 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,071 HUH? YOU'VE GOT A SUSPECT? 417 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,607 WELL, WHO IS HE? I 418 00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:17,043 JUST COMING OUT. 419 00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:18,745 THERE'S OUR MAN NOW. 420 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,713 HUH?! 421 00:21:20,747 --> 00:21:22,549 LET'S GO. 422 00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:23,916 UH, EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. 423 00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,452 WHAT? OH, YOU AGAIN! 424 00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:26,586 YES, MA'AM. 425 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,455 BARNEY, GO GET ME A BATHROOM SCALES. 426 00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:30,357 BATHROOM -- GO GET IT NOW. 427 00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:33,326 WANT ME TO OPEN MY BAG UP AND EMPTY IT FOR YOU? 428 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:35,595 NO, MA'AM, THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY. 429 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,597 WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SHERIFF?! 430 00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,833 DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE BOTHERING THIS SWEET OLD LADY AGAIN. 431 00:21:40,867 --> 00:21:43,936 YES, HE IS, AND I'M GETTING SICK AND TIRED OF IT, TOO. 432 00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:44,937 THIS TIME I AM GOING TO SUE! 433 00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:46,406 ANDY! 434 00:21:46,439 --> 00:21:48,541 TAKE IT EASY, BEN. HERE'S THE SCALES. 435 00:21:48,575 --> 00:21:50,377 JUST PUT IT RIGHT DOWN THERE. 436 00:21:50,410 --> 00:21:52,879 YOU WANT TO STEP UP ON THERE? NO, I DON'T. 437 00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:56,349 JUST STEP RIGHT UP THERE. I DON'T SEE ANY...REASON. 438 00:21:56,383 --> 00:21:58,818 163 POUNDS? 439 00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:00,953 WOW. SHE MUST BE SOLID. 440 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:02,922 I ONLY WEIGH 132 MYSELF. 441 00:22:02,955 --> 00:22:07,026 I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THAT WEIGHT'S FLESH AND BONES. 442 00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:08,628 YOU SURE YOU DON'T HAVE 443 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:11,598 A FEW OTHER ITEMS YOU'D LIKE TO TELL US ABOUT? 444 00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:16,469 LOOK AT THAT! A TRAVELING PAWN SHOP! 445 00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:18,838 SEE, I TOLD YOU I SAW HER WITH MY OWN EYES! 446 00:22:18,871 --> 00:22:20,440 SEE, I HAD HER COLD! 447 00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:22,742 YOU KNEW, TOO, DIDN'T YOU, YOU SON OF A GUN? 448 00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:23,976 WHAT TIPPED YOU OFF? 449 00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:25,612 WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, BEN. 450 00:22:25,645 --> 00:22:27,079 INSIDE THE STORE THERE 451 00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:29,449 I ACCIDENTALLY BUMPED INTO HER, AND SHE CLANKED. 452 00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,919 AND LITTLE OLD LADIES OUGHT NEVER TO CLANK. 453 00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:34,787 UNLESS THEY'RE HEADED FOR THE CLINK. 454 00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:38,625 ALL RIGHT, COME ON, SISTER. LET'S GO. 455 00:22:38,658 --> 00:22:40,092 LET'S MOVE IT. COME ON, COME ON. 456 00:22:40,126 --> 00:22:42,429 TAKE THE SCALE, MR. WEAVER. LET'S GO, COME ON. 457 00:22:46,566 --> 00:22:47,900 A LITTLE TIME BEHIND BARS 458 00:22:47,934 --> 00:22:50,369 MAY CURE YOU OF YOUR TAKING WAYS, LADY. 459 00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:54,807 WELL, THE WEAVER CASE IS SOLVED AND CLOSED. 460 00:22:54,841 --> 00:22:55,808 RIGHT. 461 00:22:57,544 --> 00:22:59,779 TRY TO PUT SOMETHING OVER ON THE LAW AROUND HERE, HUH? 462 00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:04,417 IT FEELS GOOD TO BE ABLE TO RELAX, YOU KNOW THAT? 463 00:23:04,451 --> 00:23:06,018 YEAH, IT SURE DOES. MM. 464 00:23:06,052 --> 00:23:07,520 HEY. 465 00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:09,689 HEY, NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO TELL ME. 466 00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:10,890 TELL YOU WHAT? 467 00:23:10,923 --> 00:23:12,692 YOU KNOW, THAT STORY THAT'S GOING AROUND 468 00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:13,693 ABOUT MYRA KOONTZ. 469 00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:14,727 OH, THAT. YEAH. 470 00:23:14,761 --> 00:23:15,895 YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW? 471 00:23:15,928 --> 00:23:18,498 NO. I DON'T KNOW. 472 00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:20,467 WELL, OKAY. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS. 473 00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:21,834 WELL, YOU REMEMBER WHEN 474 00:23:21,868 --> 00:23:23,870 THAT FELLA CAME THROUGH FROM CHATTANOOGA? 475 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,171 WHERE'S YOUR GUN? HUH? 476 00:23:25,204 --> 00:23:27,440 YOUR GUN. DID YOU LEAVE IT IN THE CAR? 477 00:23:27,474 --> 00:23:29,976 ALL RIGHT, HAND IT OVER! COME ON! 478 00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:31,010 HAND IT OVER! 479 00:23:37,049 --> 00:23:39,118 HEY, BARN... 480 00:23:39,151 --> 00:23:42,054 TELL ME THE STORY ABOUT MYRA KOONTZ.