1
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:36,821
Award of Lloyd's Medal to
Captain William Horatio Ambrose,

2
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,940
master of the ship Arabella.

3
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:41,738
His vessel having suffered
serious damage at night

4
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,362
in the English Channel,
Captain Ambrose,

5
00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:47,366
by his coolness, courage,
and fine seamanship,

6
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:50,084
was able to save the lives
of all passengers and crew

7
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:52,420
under his command,
after which,

8
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,084
refusing offers
of assistance,

9
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:56,003
he succeeded
single-handed

10
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,648
Just one more, Captain.

11
00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,146
Captain, I'm from
The Daily Mirror.

12
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,234
And I'm from
The Daily Telegraph.

13
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,241
I'm sorry, gentlemen.

14
00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:21,483
I've already
promised my story

15
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:23,826
to the Sandcastle Mercury.

16
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:30,995
Watch where you're going,
Nelson.

17
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,868
Lost the other eye?

18
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:40,752
Captain Ambrose?

19
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,880
I'm Peters,
Sandcastle Mercury.

20
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,631
So, you've managed
to shake off the opposition.

21
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:48,476
First time an Ambrose ever
had to dodge a press gang.

22
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:49,594
Yes.

23
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,015
Well, what are you
having, Captain?

24
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:52,684
- Uh...
- Oh, but of course.

25
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,978
Harry, a large rum, please.

26
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,363
That's a trim piece.

27
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,198
Go well in my cabin.

28
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,530
Sorry, sir,
not for sale.

29
00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,627
It's yours.

30
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,374
A small token
of my admiration.

31
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,627
Oh, no, no,
I'd much prefer to...

32
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,048
Oh, you can clap me in irons,
Captain,

33
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,796
but I won't take no
for an answer.

34
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,014
I'm an old sailor myself

35
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,883
and I can appreciate
what you did.

36
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,430
I shall treasure it.

37
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,178
Thank you.

38
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,306
Shall we sit down, Captain?

39
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:38,859
You'll join me.

40
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,319
Oh, thank you.

41
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:43,982
By the way, your check
from the paper.

42
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,028
Thank you.

43
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,402
I suggest
we begin this story

44
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:51,247
with something about
your great family tradition.

45
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,206
The Ambroses have always gone
to sea, haven't they?

46
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,042
Always.

47
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,253
As far back
as we can trace.

48
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:02,671
And, in fact,
even farther.

49
00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:10,178
<i>From the dawn of time,</i>

50
00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:13,519
<i>we have always moved
in nautical circles.</i>

51
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,486
Armada!

52
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:31,533
<i>All through history,</i>

53
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:34,248
<i>on every great
naval occasion,</i>

54
00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:36,538
<i>we have made
our presence felt.</i>

55
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:40,621
Armada!

56
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:52,224
<i>Another ancestor of mine
sailed with Captain Cook.</i>

57
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:55,345
<i>He was the first white man
to set foot on the Fiji Islands</i>

58
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:03,519
<i>He was much liked
by the natives.</i>

59
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,735
<i>Then there was
my great-grandfather.</i>

60
00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:10,325
<i>He was one
of Nelson's officers</i>

61
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,906
<i>and spent years
an der See.</i>

62
00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:15,285
Hi!

63
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,874
Main gaff goes up!

64
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,716
<i>My grandfather was captain
of a windjammer.</i>

65
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,968
<i>During the great hurricane
of the Virgin Isles,</i>

66
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:36,970
<i>he took the wheel himself.</i>

67
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,484
<i>My father
was gunnery officer</i>

68
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:50,779
<i>aboard HMS Incompatible
in 1916.</i>

69
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,697
Down one.

70
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,286
<i>He fell at Jutland.</i>

71
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:55,325
Fire!

72
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:08,255
Hence our family motto:

73
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,378
Omnes per Mare.

74
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,511
I'm afraid my Latin...

75
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,551
- All at sea.
- Ah.

76
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,766
And, of course, you had
a distinguished naval career

77
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:16,930
yourself, Captain.

78
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,303
Distinguished?

79
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:21,101
I think distinctive
is the better word.

80
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,769
I can truthfully say
I stood out

81
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,814
from every other sailor
of my time,

82
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:28,938
right from the days when
I was a cadet at Dartmouth.

83
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:33,985
There goes Midshipman Queasy.

84
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,697
Can't even wait
'til we get out of harbor.

85
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,539
Worst case
I've ever known.

86
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,408
I'm afraid there's no future
for the boy in the Navy.

87
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,910
With his family record?

88
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,332
We'll have
to find him something.

89
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:48,336
<i>I was posted
to HMS Standfast,</i>

90
00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:51,211
<i>the training ship
in the Midlands.</i>

91
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:54,760
<i>But a sailor like me wasn't
cut out to be an instructor.</i>

92
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,440
<i>Then came the war,</i>

93
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,276
<i>and I had the honor of being
selected by the Admiralty</i>

94
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:14,195
<i>to undertake
certain secret trials.</i>

95
00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,028
<i>During those six years,</i>

96
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,746
<i>I had experience
of almost every type of ship</i>

97
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,581
<i>in His Majesty's Navy.</i>

98
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,120
<i>Corvettes,
destroyers,</i>

99
00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:25,290
<i>minesweepers,
aircraft carriers,</i>

100
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:27,538
<i>they were all alike to me.</i>

101
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,835
Turning green, I'm afraid.

102
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,678
We'll double the dose.

103
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:40,802
Sorry, Captain,
gone five bells.

104
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,223
Gotta set you adrift.

105
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,687
That nonsense.

106
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,898
It beats me how you fellows
stand for it.

107
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,607
Well, there's not many of us
made like you, sir.

108
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,192
More's the pity.

109
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:57,944
And thanks again.

110
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,695
My privilege, Captain.

111
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,281
Cheerio.

112
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,212
Where now?

113
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,052
Well, I'm afraid
we haven't got a London office.

114
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,262
What about a cup of tea?

115
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,096
Tea?

116
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,681
Follow me.

117
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:34,689
Kindly get me
a couple of glasses.

118
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,491
Come along, man.
Come along.

119
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,531
Look lively.

120
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:41,904
I, uh...

121
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,532
We don't have glasses here.

122
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:45,874
Nonsense.

123
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:48,585
What do you do
when somebody faints?

124
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,719
There, you see?

125
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,476
That'll do for the other.

126
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,074
Thank you.

127
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,044
Where was I?

128
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,162
Hm?

129
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,583
Oh, your war record.

130
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:33,876
Oh, yes.

131
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,591
I was still doing trials
for the Admiralty

132
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,128
when the war ended.

133
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,721
I was kept
on the strengths

134
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:44,012
for further experiments
until last year.

135
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:46,431
Then I got my bowler hat.

136
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:48,269
I must inform you, sir,
that these tables

137
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,310
are only for the use
of the clients of the bank.

138
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,057
That's all right,
I have an account here.

139
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,900
For the proper conduct
of their business.

140
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,940
Oh, very well, very well.

141
00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,736
As I was saying,

142
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:02,109
I found myself
on the beach

143
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,863
with my bowler hat.

144
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:08,116
Then one day, I saw that
advertisement in your paper.

145
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:13,121
For £5,000,
the answer to all my dreams.

146
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,755
One look
at her photograph,

147
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:17,966
and I was on the telephone
clinching the deal.

148
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:20,632
There you are.

149
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,969
For the price
of my modest savings,

150
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:27,343
at last,
a command of my own.

151
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,094
The Arabella.

152
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,391
The Arabella?

153
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,021
The Arabella.

154
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,233
<i>Of course,
I had little idea then</i>

155
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,778
<i>of the rough waters
that lay ahead.</i>

156
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,696
<i>I hadn't the experience
I have today</i>

157
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:27,115
<i>of the battle
of life ashore.</i>

158
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:29,454
<i>Just a simple sailor,
in fact.</i>

159
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,086
- Excuse me.
- Mummy,

160
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:43,052
there's a man here
with all his clothes on.

161
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,889
There's a man hanging 'round
these huts.

162
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,849
A man?

163
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:55,431
Run along, child.

164
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,478
This is not a right-of-way,
you know.

165
00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:58,726
I'm sorry,
I didn't know.

166
00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:02,195
It's purely for the use of
people hiring my bathing house.

167
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,064
May I ask if you wish
to hire one?

168
00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:06,067
Oh, no, no, no,
that's not why I'm here at all.

169
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:07,488
I thought not.

170
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:10,533
It's perfectly obvious
why you are here.

171
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,156
You will kindly leave at once.

172
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,247
Very well, madam.

173
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,866
- Four, sir?
- Four, please.

174
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,405
One shilling.

175
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:52,325
Let the two little ones
go in together.

176
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,244
That's right, squeeze 'em up,
give 'em a bit of fun.

177
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,207
One, two.

178
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:58,793
Three, four.

179
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:00,128
Thank you, sir.

180
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,467
What do you fancy
for the big race, Tommy?

181
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,564
- One, please.
- Thank you, sir.

182
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:58,474
Excuse me.

183
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:00,188
Are you one
of the officers here?

184
00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:03,525
If so, I'd like you
to break off action.

185
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:05,235
Are you, uh...

186
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,570
The new captain.

187
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,779
The new owner.

188
00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:10,399
Oh, I didn't expect you so soon.

189
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,410
My name is Figg.

190
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,777
I'm in charge here.

191
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:14,619
I don't wish to find fault
as soon as I arrive,

192
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,363
Mr. Figg,

193
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:18,366
but wouldn't a salute
be appropriate?

194
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:19,787
Salute?

195
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:21,285
You'd better send us
a wire next time.

196
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,036
We'll have you piped aboard.

197
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,754
Where are the master's quarters?

198
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,373
You could ask
the quartermaster.

199
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,002
Perhaps you would be
good enough to tell me.

200
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,753
Well, that's the office
along there.

201
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:34,757
The old shed this side
the Crazy Cottage.

202
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,099
I'd like to meet the crew.

203
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,889
Will you be good enough to
muster them on the quarterdeck

204
00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:39,557
in 10 minutes' time?

205
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,226
It's almost 4:00.

206
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:42,643
They'll be wantin' their tea.

207
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,107
I shan't keep them long.

208
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,022
Oh, and I'd like you to include
the man on the gate,

209
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,894
if you can arrange
a relief for him.

210
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,654
- Is that all?
- For the present.

211
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,239
Carry on, Number One.

212
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:36,535
And so with the assistance of
my good friend Goldilocks here,

213
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:38,620
I shall now demonstrate
that the secret

214
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,910
of the Great Houdini
lives on.

215
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,625
That's a lovely head of skin
you've got there, sir.

216
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:44,709
Of course,
he's a very good-looking fella,

217
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,078
this, you know.

218
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,751
The poor girl's Yul Brynner.

219
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:51,091
There's no call
for personal remarks.

220
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,959
I'm very sorry, sir.

221
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:55,804
Of course, he ain't really bald,
we know that.

222
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,513
He's just got a tall face.

223
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:00,888
A tall face.

224
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,429
And you won't get out
of that in a hurry.

225
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,681
Get out of what?

226
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,356
This?

227
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,983
Now, come back, sir.

228
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,568
Don't get naughty.

229
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:15,907
Keep your hair on.

230
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,662
Sir, on behalf
of the pier company,

231
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:21,997
I would like
to apologize...

232
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,000
Hello, hello, hello.

233
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:27,665
What's this,
another volunteer?

234
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,959
Gangway for
a naval officer there.

235
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:32,003
Step right up here, Admiral.

236
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,417
Go on, Jack,
have a go.

237
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,419
Come on,
be a sport.

238
00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:36,465
That's it.

239
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,839
Give him a big hand,
ladies and gentlemen.

240
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,350
Howdy, Admiral.

241
00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:43,935
And how did you
leave the wives?

242
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:45,395
Still in ignorance,
I hope?

243
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,764
Aha, now, then.

244
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,812
I want you to take this cord
and tie up me ankles and hands,

245
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:50,819
got it?

246
00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,186
Now, tight as you like.

247
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:53,937
Don't mind me.

248
00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:57,407
Oh, he knows what he's up to,
this one.

249
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,322
Proper ropey type, eh?

250
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,409
That's it.

251
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:01,745
Now me hands.

252
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:06,287
Ooh, look at them
medal ribbons.

253
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:07,956
'Course, he should've had
the Croix de Guerre, too,

254
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:09,294
you know.

255
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:10,629
But with a face like his,

256
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:12,873
they couldn't find
a French admiral to kiss him.

257
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:15,591
Right, now this time

258
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,678
I'm gonna make it
hard for meself,

259
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,172
as the bloke said when
he fell into the cement mixer.

260
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,725
That's it, I want you
to pop me into this sack

261
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,765
and tie up me top knot.

262
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,262
Right.

263
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,310
Night-night, all.

264
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,980
Oh, innit dark in here?

265
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:35,150
Anybody got a candle?

266
00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:36,647
Now, you done, Admiral?

267
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,569
- All fast.
- Eh?

268
00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:40,943
- Finished.
- Oh, ta, muchly.

269
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:44,037
Well, give my love to the wives
and all the little barnacles.

270
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,373
Music, maestro, please.

271
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:50,664
The men are waiting outside,
sir.

272
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:51,752
Very good.

273
00:19:21,035 --> 00:19:22,992
That's my candy floss.

274
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,612
Is that how they do it
in the Navy, sir?

275
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:28,707
I take it you were never
in the service, Mr. Figg.

276
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:30,120
I never wanted to be.

277
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:32,119
I've spent all my life
in a dredger,

278
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,961
and if you're going to run
this pier like a battleship,

279
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,500
I should be sorry
I ever left it.

280
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,875
Well, I am going to run her
like a battleship.

281
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:41,761
All the best piers in this
country are run naval-style,

282
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:43,426
and under my command,
Sandcastle Pier

283
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:45,298
is going to be no exception.

284
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,642
I shan't be satisfied
until everything is...

285
00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:53,061
Until everything is pier-shape
and Blackpool fashion.

286
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:56,276
Now, was any man here
in the Royal Navy?

287
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:58,065
- Tommy was.
- Who?

288
00:19:58,072 --> 00:20:00,314
- Thomas, sir.
- Where is he?

289
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,566
There he is, sir.

290
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,192
Oi, Tommy!

291
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:15,412
Oh, so you're Thomas.

292
00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:16,423
Sir?

293
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:17,540
- The gate man.
- No, sir.

294
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,088
Chief deck chair hand,
we take turns on the gate, sir.

295
00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:22,461
You won't be taking any more
turns on the gate, Thomas.

296
00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:26,344
Now, I can see we have a long,
hard voyage ahead of us

297
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:29,263
before we can take
a real pride in our pier.

298
00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:30,431
And I don't want
to hear any grumbling

299
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:31,974
once we're underway.

300
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,438
Not from me, you won't.

301
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,524
I'm off back to my dredger.

302
00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:36,562
Have a nice trip.

303
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:42,026
Bring us back a parrot!

304
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:43,898
Anyone else
want to sign off?

305
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,447
Good.

306
00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:48,991
Now, I want this
to be a happy pier

307
00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:51,456
because a happy pier
is an efficient pier,

308
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:52,791
and vice versa.

309
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:54,375
- You won't find me...
- Here, Popeye,

310
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:55,789
where's the ladies?

311
00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:13,349
And you'll retain
your present ranks

312
00:21:13,355 --> 00:21:15,142
and rates of pay.

313
00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:17,141
That is, with one exception.

314
00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:19,518
Thomas, you're what
is known as a fiddler.

315
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:20,939
Yes, sir.

316
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,608
Well, at least you're honest.

317
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:23,651
And as you're
the only man here

318
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,114
who's served
in Her Majesty's Navy,

319
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,699
I'm giving you
another chance.

320
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:29,820
I'm appointing you
Chief Officer.

321
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:31,241
Well?

322
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,873
Uh, thank you, sir.

323
00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:35,037
Carry on.

324
00:21:35,044 --> 00:21:36,376
Captain's rounds,
Number One.

325
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:37,664
Captain's rounds, sir.

326
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:42,048
You've made a nice start, sir.

327
00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:44,293
Long time since our customers
had any fun.

328
00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:50,806
Amusement arcade, sir.

329
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,683
Not much fun
to be had in here.

330
00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:57,768
Ah.

331
00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:00,267
She used to run
up and down the pier.

332
00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:01,358
She shall again.

333
00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:02,648
Where's the chief engineer?

334
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,271
- You've just got rid of him.
- Mr. Figg?

335
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,280
- But he was mate.
- He was most things, sir,

336
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,533
that'd give him
the chance for a fiddle.

337
00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:09,947
I wasn't the only one.

338
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,115
Well, where's
the second engineer?

339
00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:12,362
He's due for promotion.

340
00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:14,490
The second engineer's a kid
of 15 with the measles.

341
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:15,957
Well, somebody's got
to mend these machines.

342
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,201
There's nothing wrong
with them, sir.

343
00:22:17,211 --> 00:22:18,668
It was the police
had 'em closed down.

344
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,378
- The police?
- There's an old lady

345
00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:22,043
on the council,
Mrs. Barrington,

346
00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:23,049
she started creating,

347
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:24,382
said the kids
were gambling on them.

348
00:22:24,385 --> 00:22:27,048
Gambling?
Coin returned for win.

349
00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:29,387
It surely can't be a gamble
if you just get your money back.

350
00:22:29,390 --> 00:22:32,098
Ah, but when you win,
the ball stays in play.

351
00:22:32,101 --> 00:22:34,514
You get another win, and out
comes the last fella's penny.

352
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,308
Now, according to the council,
that's gambling.

353
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,597
Young Reggie Skinner,

354
00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:40,815
the second engineer,
he's a marvel.

355
00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:42,730
I've seen him with as much
as ninepence on the trot.

356
00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:44,523
Smart boy.

357
00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:48,114
I think we'll have these
machines put back in action,

358
00:22:48,117 --> 00:22:49,858
Number One.

359
00:22:51,078 --> 00:22:52,410
That might be
a bit dodgy, sir.

360
00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:55,531
The council we've got here,
a proper bunch, they are.

361
00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:56,782
This is my pier,
Number One,

362
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:58,454
and no little tin-pot
dictator on the council

363
00:22:58,460 --> 00:22:59,917
is going to tell me
how to run her.

364
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,001
Captain Ambrose?

365
00:23:01,005 --> 00:23:03,497
I'm Crowley,
chief tin-pot dictator.

366
00:23:03,507 --> 00:23:05,590
Oh, Mr. Crowley,
how do you do?

367
00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:06,754
- What was that?
- I'm sorry,

368
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:07,796
I couldn't resist it.

369
00:23:07,803 --> 00:23:10,546
You see, I happen to be
mayor of Sandcastle.

370
00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,343
It's all right, Captain,
don't apologize.

371
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:13,802
We all feel that way
about people

372
00:23:13,809 --> 00:23:15,220
who tell us
where to get off.

373
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:16,308
I heard you'd arrived,

374
00:23:16,312 --> 00:23:17,974
thought I'd come along
to wish you well.

375
00:23:17,980 --> 00:23:19,471
Everything in order, I hope?

376
00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:21,473
Quite satisfied?
No complaints?

377
00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:23,315
Well, to be quite frank,
she is a bit more run-down

378
00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:24,981
- than I'd expected.
- Very true.

379
00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:26,353
I couldn't agree more.

380
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:28,362
The fact is,
since they put me in office,

381
00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:29,526
I just haven't
had the time

382
00:23:29,533 --> 00:23:31,991
to attend to all
my private interests.

383
00:23:31,994 --> 00:23:34,361
It was a question of neglecting
them or the community.

384
00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:36,826
And that's why I decided to sell
the pier at what is really,

385
00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:39,199
I venture to think,
quite a bargain price.

386
00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:41,747
But, of course, my dear fellow,
if you're not satisfied...

387
00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:42,790
Oh, no, no, no.

388
00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:44,207
I'm sure she'll suit me
very well.

389
00:23:44,214 --> 00:23:46,376
Well, anything I can do
to help at any time

390
00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:48,545
Well, there is the question
of the machines.

391
00:23:48,552 --> 00:23:50,384
Oh, the gambling machines.

392
00:23:50,387 --> 00:23:51,798
I know how you feel.

393
00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:52,921
I did resist the order,

394
00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:54,594
but I'm afraid
there's a strong feeling

395
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,637
in the council chamber
about, well,

396
00:23:56,644 --> 00:23:59,933
turning Sandcastle
into another Monte Carlo.

397
00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:01,055
And, of course,
in my position,

398
00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:04,058
one can't press one's own
interests too hard.

399
00:24:04,068 --> 00:24:05,525
Well, as I'm not a member
of the council,

400
00:24:05,527 --> 00:24:07,894
perhaps I'm in a better position
to put up a fight.

401
00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:09,271
Oh, take warning, Captain.

402
00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:11,068
You're heading
for trouble there.

403
00:24:11,075 --> 00:24:12,156
Well, I must get along.

404
00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:14,116
I've got a meeting
at the planning committee.

405
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,951
Any queries,
just give me a tinkle.

406
00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:17,321
Thank you, I will.

407
00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:20,324
Your luggage
has arrived, sir.

408
00:24:20,334 --> 00:24:21,334
Where would
you like it taken?

409
00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:22,496
Kings Arms
or the Georgian Dragon?

410
00:24:22,503 --> 00:24:24,244
Neither.
Let it stay aboard.

411
00:24:24,254 --> 00:24:26,120
You're not going to live
on the pier, sir?

412
00:24:27,341 --> 00:24:29,207
Do I look the type
who'd sleep ashore?

413
00:24:29,218 --> 00:24:30,254
But... but where, sir?

414
00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:31,376
There's not enough room
in that office

415
00:24:31,387 --> 00:24:33,720
to swing a cat-o'-nine-tails.

416
00:24:33,722 --> 00:24:35,258
We'll have to use
some initiative,

417
00:24:35,265 --> 00:24:37,052
won't we, Number One?

418
00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:40,555
Well, there's the aquarium, sir.

419
00:24:40,562 --> 00:24:41,894
We could put you in there.

420
00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:43,229
Aquarium?

421
00:24:43,232 --> 00:24:44,848
No, no.

422
00:24:44,858 --> 00:24:46,850
That'd be like waking up
in a submarine.

423
00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:50,565
Below there.

424
00:24:50,572 --> 00:24:52,689
Come and bear a hand
with my dunnage.

425
00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:21,055
- Morning, sir.
- Morning, Number One.

426
00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:22,723
Struck some foul weather.

427
00:25:22,730 --> 00:25:25,222
It's always like this
in Sandcastle on Sunday.

428
00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:26,232
From what I've seen
of the place,

429
00:25:26,233 --> 00:25:28,441
it's always like Sunday
in Sandcastle.

430
00:25:28,444 --> 00:25:29,560
Yes, sir.

431
00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:31,812
Except it's no day of rest
for the coppers.

432
00:25:31,822 --> 00:25:35,657
They've been here this morning
and took the slot machines away.

433
00:25:35,659 --> 00:25:37,195
Why wasn't I called?

434
00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:38,202
Who let 'em aboard?

435
00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:39,865
It seems they got
the keys off Mr. Figg.

436
00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,488
I met 'em
wheeling the machines out

437
00:25:41,498 --> 00:25:43,990
on that little old cot
they keep for the drunks.

438
00:25:44,001 --> 00:25:46,493
Not that we get many drunks
in Sandcastle.

439
00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:49,086
I'll beat seven bells
out of them for this.

440
00:25:55,304 --> 00:25:57,341
Hello, hello.
Are you all right, sir?

441
00:25:57,347 --> 00:26:00,215
I haven't quite found
my sea legs yet.

442
00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:02,638
That boy you mentioned,
the second engineer.

443
00:26:02,644 --> 00:26:03,805
Is he out of quarantine?

444
00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:05,599
Who, Reggie Skinner?
He'll be back tomorrow.

445
00:26:05,606 --> 00:26:06,972
I need him today,
rouse him out

446
00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:08,098
and meet me
at the police station

447
00:26:08,108 --> 00:26:10,020
at one-oh-double-oh.

448
00:26:11,695 --> 00:26:13,812
Small profit, perhaps,
but you must admit

449
00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:15,984
that money can be won
on these machines.

450
00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:17,857
There wouldn't be much point
in them otherwise.

451
00:26:17,868 --> 00:26:19,154
Then what are you arguing about?

452
00:26:19,161 --> 00:26:20,197
That makes them illegal.

453
00:26:20,204 --> 00:26:21,411
No, no, no, no.

454
00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:23,370
Pardon me.

455
00:26:23,373 --> 00:26:25,239
Well done, Number One.

456
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:27,116
So this is our chief engineer.

457
00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:30,086
- Chief engineer?
- If you pass your test.

458
00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:31,455
- Now, look, uh...
- Skinner, sir.

459
00:26:31,465 --> 00:26:32,546
Skinner.

460
00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:34,833
I'm going to put
a penny in this machine

461
00:26:34,843 --> 00:26:37,051
and you are to win it back.

462
00:26:37,054 --> 00:26:38,761
What's the idea of all this?

463
00:26:38,764 --> 00:26:40,380
You'll see, I hope.

464
00:26:41,850 --> 00:26:43,762
Go on, Skinner, win.

465
00:26:45,521 --> 00:26:47,433
- Good boy.
- Do it again.

466
00:26:52,736 --> 00:26:55,103
You're just proving my point.
It's a gambling device.

467
00:26:55,114 --> 00:26:56,946
Is it?
You try.

468
00:26:56,949 --> 00:26:58,906
Come along, now.
Fair's fair.

469
00:27:02,996 --> 00:27:04,032
You see?

470
00:27:04,039 --> 00:27:05,905
No skill.

471
00:27:05,916 --> 00:27:07,999
Carry on, Chief.
Do yourself some good.

472
00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:12,378
Now, let us review
this whole matter again.

473
00:27:12,381 --> 00:27:14,338
No offense is committed
under the Gaming Act

474
00:27:14,341 --> 00:27:15,877
if skill
predominates over luck.

475
00:27:15,884 --> 00:27:17,716
- Isn't that right?
- Yes.

476
00:27:17,719 --> 00:27:18,960
Well, you've just seen
for yourself.

477
00:27:18,971 --> 00:27:20,883
This is a game of skill.

478
00:27:21,849 --> 00:27:23,090
Hm.

479
00:27:23,934 --> 00:27:26,893
Let's have another go, son.

480
00:27:26,895 --> 00:27:29,512
No, wait.
Just your thumb.

481
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:30,604
That's too far down.

482
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:31,935
Hold it lighter.

483
00:27:31,942 --> 00:27:33,808
That's right.
Now, steady, right, go.

484
00:27:36,697 --> 00:27:39,610
- I've won.
- Superintendent Browning.

485
00:27:39,616 --> 00:27:41,482
Oh, good morning, ma'am.

486
00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:46,492
I see you're dealing with
the matter of these machines.

487
00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:49,286
I came here this morning because
it had been reported to me

488
00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:52,286
that the new owner
of the pier...

489
00:27:52,296 --> 00:27:54,333
You!

490
00:27:54,339 --> 00:27:56,651
Captain Ambrose, ma'am, has been
questioning our legal right

491
00:27:56,675 --> 00:27:58,792
to effect a seizure
of these machines.

492
00:27:58,802 --> 00:28:00,088
Really?

493
00:28:00,095 --> 00:28:02,758
I hope you've made
the position clear to him.

494
00:28:02,764 --> 00:28:04,300
Well, madam,
I have to admit

495
00:28:04,308 --> 00:28:06,846
there are possibly grounds
for a test case.

496
00:28:06,852 --> 00:28:09,014
- What?
- Thank you.

497
00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:12,059
That's all I wanted to know.

498
00:28:12,065 --> 00:28:15,149
A gambler and a Peeping Tom.

499
00:28:22,326 --> 00:28:23,988
I dig that crazy jukebox.

500
00:28:23,994 --> 00:28:25,951
Don't be so square, man,
that ain't a juke.

501
00:28:25,954 --> 00:28:27,786
That's a fruit machine.

502
00:28:27,789 --> 00:28:28,789
Doing.

503
00:28:30,459 --> 00:28:31,995
Keep your hands off, please.

504
00:28:32,002 --> 00:28:33,664
Look, don't lean on me, Jack.

505
00:28:33,712 --> 00:28:35,749
I'm telling ya.
Don't lean on me.

506
00:28:35,756 --> 00:28:37,372
Here, put it down, Dad.
Let's have a ball.

507
00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:39,669
Leave it alone.
Go and play somewhere else.

508
00:28:39,718 --> 00:28:41,050
You ain't plugged in, man.

509
00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:42,385
This is Sandcastle.

510
00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:44,174
It's a real square town, Dad.

511
00:28:44,181 --> 00:28:45,592
Square? What on earth
are you talking about?

512
00:28:45,599 --> 00:28:46,965
No playing games
on Sundays here.

513
00:28:46,975 --> 00:28:48,056
That's what he means.

514
00:28:48,060 --> 00:28:50,347
No Sunday movies,
no dancing.

515
00:28:50,354 --> 00:28:51,936
Strictly no jiving.

516
00:28:51,939 --> 00:28:53,180
Nothing but a nothing.

517
00:28:54,650 --> 00:28:56,482
Dig it now, Hornblower?

518
00:28:58,111 --> 00:29:00,694
Blow that horn, daddy-o?

519
00:29:00,697 --> 00:29:02,905
Why don't you go and enjoy
yourselves on the pier?

520
00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:06,029
The pier?

521
00:29:06,036 --> 00:29:07,117
You seen the pier?

522
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,702
- I own the pier.
- You what?

523
00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:10,704
And there's a concert
on this afternoon.

524
00:29:10,707 --> 00:29:11,823
A concert?

525
00:29:11,833 --> 00:29:16,373
Come into the garden, Maud

526
00:29:16,380 --> 00:29:18,246
Oh, you send me.

527
00:29:18,257 --> 00:29:20,044
You send me!

528
00:29:20,050 --> 00:29:21,507
He's way out in cloud seven.

529
00:29:23,011 --> 00:29:24,718
- Choke your lump.
- What's that you say?

530
00:29:24,721 --> 00:29:26,678
Pipe down and belay
all this doing and effort.

531
00:29:26,682 --> 00:29:28,093
You think I was brought up
in the last bucket?

532
00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:29,591
If this is the best you can
do with your make and mend,

533
00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:30,721
you deserve
to be keelhauled.

534
00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:33,352
The concert's
in the first dock.

535
00:29:33,355 --> 00:29:35,392
And dig yourselves
out of that.

536
00:29:41,363 --> 00:29:42,649
Mr. White.

537
00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:46,324
Mr. White!

538
00:29:47,744 --> 00:29:49,656
- Mr. White?
- That you, sir?

539
00:29:49,663 --> 00:29:52,827
Where... where on earth
are the Brinies?

540
00:29:52,833 --> 00:29:54,324
I've been looking for you.
They've gone.

541
00:29:54,334 --> 00:29:56,246
- What?
- Packed up and walked out.

542
00:29:56,253 --> 00:29:57,369
It seems old Artie
couldn't take you

543
00:29:57,379 --> 00:29:58,870
making a monkey out of him.

544
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,587
Are there many people
in the auditorium?

545
00:30:00,590 --> 00:30:01,671
Not a soul just now, sir.

546
00:30:01,675 --> 00:30:02,875
Well, thank goodness for that.

547
00:30:14,688 --> 00:30:15,895
Go, man, go.

548
00:30:15,897 --> 00:30:17,354
What's the holdup, Mac?

549
00:30:17,357 --> 00:30:20,646
I'm sorry, but I'm afraid
we have been let down.

550
00:30:21,695 --> 00:30:23,061
You said
there was gonna be

551
00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:24,858
a show here
this afternoon.

552
00:30:24,865 --> 00:30:26,026
Live entertainment.

553
00:30:26,033 --> 00:30:28,491
- Yes, I know, but...
- There ain't no show?

554
00:30:28,493 --> 00:30:30,234
If you'll let me explain...

555
00:30:30,245 --> 00:30:32,362
We'll give him a show.

556
00:30:37,419 --> 00:30:39,001
Okay, you cats.

557
00:30:39,004 --> 00:30:40,666
Take your seats.

558
00:30:40,672 --> 00:30:42,208
I'll have this one.

559
00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:50,097
Hey!

560
00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:51,179
You let them seats alone!

561
00:30:51,183 --> 00:30:53,266
Wait, Number One.

562
00:30:53,268 --> 00:30:55,009
- I think they've got something.
- But, sir, they...

563
00:30:55,020 --> 00:30:57,228
Those seats should've
been broken up long ago.

564
00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:10,868
Come on, no slagging.

565
00:31:10,869 --> 00:31:11,869
Get down to it.

566
00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:13,156
You crazy?

567
00:31:13,163 --> 00:31:16,122
He's nutty as a fruitcake.

568
00:31:16,124 --> 00:31:17,285
You said you had
nowhere to dance.

569
00:31:17,292 --> 00:31:19,830
Well, here's your dance hall.

570
00:31:19,836 --> 00:31:20,836
Cor!

571
00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:22,836
Good old Hornblower!

572
00:31:59,751 --> 00:32:01,242
Anything there of any use?

573
00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:02,835
Some of it's okay.

574
00:32:02,838 --> 00:32:04,955
Except for what it says.

575
00:32:04,965 --> 00:32:07,002
Long live King Edward
the seventh.

576
00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:09,000
Dig deeper,
you may get up to date.

577
00:32:09,010 --> 00:32:10,751
Long live our glorious Queen.

578
00:32:17,102 --> 00:32:21,563
My rule is 9:00
for the closing of all huts.

579
00:32:21,565 --> 00:32:24,308
And will you please turn
that machine off?

580
00:32:24,317 --> 00:32:25,728
Look.

581
00:32:28,864 --> 00:32:30,105
Fred!

582
00:32:37,330 --> 00:32:39,162
Them lights haven't worked
since Armistice night.

583
00:32:39,166 --> 00:32:40,828
<i>One-way ticket
on the 5:09</i>

584
00:32:40,834 --> 00:32:42,917
<i>I'll never leave home again</i>

585
00:32:42,919 --> 00:32:46,128
<i>Ooey-ooey, ooey-ooh</i>

586
00:32:46,131 --> 00:32:47,872
<i>I wanna be that man there</i>

587
00:32:47,883 --> 00:32:49,624
<i>and see my girl
with the golden hair</i>

588
00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:51,250
<i>Wheels are going
clickety-clack</i>

589
00:32:51,261 --> 00:32:54,629
<i>and taking me back
to my old shack</i>

590
00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:56,847
<i>Got a one-way ticket
on the Union Line</i>

591
00:32:56,850 --> 00:32:58,341
<i>Gonna see
that girl of mine</i>

592
00:32:58,351 --> 00:32:59,933
<i>A one-way ticket
on the 5:09</i>

593
00:33:05,317 --> 00:33:07,024
<i>Trains are coming
around the bend</i>

594
00:33:07,027 --> 00:33:08,643
<i>In the tunnel
and out again</i>

595
00:33:08,653 --> 00:33:10,519
<i>Black smoke
coming up the stack</i>

596
00:33:10,530 --> 00:33:13,944
<i>This old choo-choo's
taking me back</i>

597
00:33:16,077 --> 00:33:17,568
<i>Gonna see that girl
of mine</i>

598
00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:29,130
<i>Got a one-way ticket
on the Union Line</i>

599
00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:30,589
<i>Got to see
that girl of mine</i>

600
00:33:30,592 --> 00:33:32,254
<i>A one-way ticket
on the 5:09</i>

601
00:33:32,260 --> 00:33:34,422
<i>I'll never leave home again</i>

602
00:33:34,429 --> 00:33:37,547
<i>Ooey-ooey, ooey-ooh</i>

603
00:33:37,557 --> 00:33:39,298
<i>I wanna be that man there</i>

604
00:33:39,309 --> 00:33:41,141
<i>and see my girl
with the golden hair</i>

605
00:33:41,144 --> 00:33:42,726
<i>Wheels are going clickety-clack</i>

606
00:33:42,729 --> 00:33:46,222
<i>and taking me back
to my old shack</i>

607
00:33:48,235 --> 00:33:51,103
<i>- Gotta see</i>
- Good evening, Superintendent.

608
00:33:51,112 --> 00:33:53,399
- Stop that noise!
- Play on!

609
00:33:53,406 --> 00:33:55,147
I'm sorry, Superintendent.

610
00:33:55,158 --> 00:33:57,650
I cannot allow you to give
orders on my pier

611
00:33:57,661 --> 00:34:01,655
until you have established
your authority to do so.

612
00:34:01,665 --> 00:34:06,126
Shall we step outside
and discuss the matter?

613
00:34:06,127 --> 00:34:08,289
Won't you bring
your men with you?

614
00:34:08,296 --> 00:34:11,539
My crew are quite capable
of maintaining order.

615
00:34:12,842 --> 00:34:16,006
<i>Ooey-ooey, ooey-ooh</i>

616
00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:17,795
<i>I'm gonna buy
a wedding ring</i>

617
00:34:17,806 --> 00:34:19,388
<i>We'll be married
in the spring</i>

618
00:34:19,391 --> 00:34:22,008
Now I take it I must be
committing some sort of offense.

619
00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:24,017
That's putting it mildly, sir.

620
00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:25,473
To begin with,
dancing is not permitted

621
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:26,846
at any public place
on a Sunday.

622
00:34:26,856 --> 00:34:28,722
Really?
How ridiculous.

623
00:34:28,733 --> 00:34:30,224
And furthermore,
this pier possesses

624
00:34:30,235 --> 00:34:31,771
no license for dancing
in any case.

625
00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:33,019
I will certainly get one.

626
00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:34,312
Where do I go for it?

627
00:34:34,322 --> 00:34:36,279
You'll soon see, Captain.

628
00:34:37,659 --> 00:34:41,403
For permitting music and dancing
in premises not so licensed,

629
00:34:41,413 --> 00:34:43,029
you are fined
the maximum penalty

630
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:45,118
of five pounds.

631
00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:48,038
For the other
and more serious offense,

632
00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:51,412
permitting music and dancing
in a public place on a Sunday,

633
00:34:51,423 --> 00:34:54,507
you will pay £20.

634
00:34:56,886 --> 00:34:58,218
Hmm?

635
00:34:58,221 --> 00:35:00,804
Oh, just a minute.

636
00:35:00,807 --> 00:35:02,218
I'm reminded
you made application

637
00:35:02,225 --> 00:35:04,683
for a music
and dancing license.

638
00:35:07,814 --> 00:35:10,056
The application
is rejected.

639
00:35:20,493 --> 00:35:23,702
It seems I shall have
to think of something else.

640
00:35:23,705 --> 00:35:25,822
What about a bar?

641
00:35:25,832 --> 00:35:28,370
I suppose I need a license
for that, too.

642
00:35:28,376 --> 00:35:29,537
You suppose?

643
00:35:29,544 --> 00:35:31,911
And I apply for it here, do I?

644
00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:34,083
Captain Ambrose,
you haven't got a hope.

645
00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:35,964
Put it right out
of your mind, sir.

646
00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:38,254
I don't strike my colors
as easily as that.

647
00:35:38,261 --> 00:35:40,799
What is the procedure?

648
00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:43,843
Very well, sir,
you've asked for it.

649
00:35:43,850 --> 00:35:45,386
To obtain a license
in this country

650
00:35:45,393 --> 00:35:46,884
for the sale
of alcoholic beverages...

651
00:35:46,895 --> 00:35:48,682
Just a minute.

652
00:35:48,688 --> 00:35:49,688
Right.

653
00:35:49,689 --> 00:35:51,646
The bar premises
having been selected...

654
00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:53,687
Select bar premises.

655
00:35:53,693 --> 00:35:55,776
Notice of the application
must be thereto affixed

656
00:35:55,779 --> 00:35:57,065
in a conspicuous position

657
00:35:57,072 --> 00:35:58,813
between 10:00 in the morning
and 5:00 in the afternoon

658
00:35:58,823 --> 00:36:01,031
on two consecutive Sundays.

659
00:36:01,034 --> 00:36:02,650
A similar notice
must also be affixed

660
00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:04,402
to the door
of the parish church.

661
00:36:04,412 --> 00:36:07,325
- For a pub?
- Correct, sir.

662
00:36:08,750 --> 00:36:10,241
to the clerk
at the Rating Authority,

663
00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:11,492
the chief of police,

664
00:36:11,503 --> 00:36:13,085
and the clerk
of the licensing justices,

665
00:36:13,088 --> 00:36:16,456
the last two both requiring
also a plan of the premises.

666
00:36:16,466 --> 00:36:17,673
For the granting
of any license,

667
00:36:17,676 --> 00:36:19,463
it will be necessary
for the court to take notice

668
00:36:19,469 --> 00:36:20,869
of such objections
as may be entered

669
00:36:22,097 --> 00:36:24,259
temperance, and/or religious
organizations,

670
00:36:24,265 --> 00:36:25,506
and such
private individuals

671
00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:27,850
as may fear disturbance
of local amenities.

672
00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:30,595
After which one is at liberty
to sell a glass of beer.

673
00:36:30,605 --> 00:36:31,641
Should the license
be granted,

674
00:36:31,648 --> 00:36:32,855
further application
is then required

675
00:36:32,857 --> 00:36:34,314
to be made to
the confirming authority,

676
00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:36,024
and in the event of the license
being confirmed,

677
00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:37,893
an agreement reached with the
Customs and Excise Department

678
00:36:37,904 --> 00:36:39,395
on Monopoly Value,

679
00:36:39,406 --> 00:36:41,113
further and final application
may then be made

680
00:36:41,116 --> 00:36:43,199
for an excise license
to sell liquor.

681
00:36:45,745 --> 00:36:47,987
And then?

682
00:36:47,997 --> 00:36:49,909
You sell it.

683
00:36:49,916 --> 00:36:53,660
Well, that's all quite clear
and straightforward.

684
00:36:53,670 --> 00:36:55,582
Select bar premises.

685
00:37:00,844 --> 00:37:03,131
Well...

686
00:37:03,138 --> 00:37:04,845
This place wouldn't be
much of a loss.

687
00:37:04,848 --> 00:37:06,180
Not even to the fish.

688
00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:08,307
Especially when you think
of their sex life.

689
00:37:08,309 --> 00:37:09,641
Poor little perishers.

690
00:37:09,644 --> 00:37:12,102
Run a counter along here,

691
00:37:12,105 --> 00:37:13,186
cut a porthole there.

692
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:14,517
Make a right tight little bar.

693
00:37:14,524 --> 00:37:16,481
Well, that's settled.
Get it cleared.

694
00:37:16,484 --> 00:37:17,600
Well, what do we do
with the fish?

695
00:37:17,610 --> 00:37:19,146
Put 'em in the drink
where they belong.

696
00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:26,484
Here.

697
00:37:45,013 --> 00:37:46,845
Eight bells, sir.
Forenoon watch.

698
00:37:46,848 --> 00:37:48,214
Good morning, Number One.

699
00:37:48,266 --> 00:37:49,598
What have you got there?

700
00:37:49,601 --> 00:37:52,139
A... a little present
for you, sir.

701
00:37:52,145 --> 00:37:54,057
I... I made it myself.

702
00:37:56,900 --> 00:37:58,186
Thank you, Number One.

703
00:38:00,820 --> 00:38:02,812
And she's a fine, trim craft.

704
00:38:05,867 --> 00:38:07,233
She shall go
in a place of honor.

705
00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:08,366
Oh, thank you, sir.

706
00:38:10,789 --> 00:38:12,075
Is that yours, sir?

707
00:38:12,081 --> 00:38:13,697
You flatter me.

708
00:38:13,708 --> 00:38:16,166
It belonged
to my great-grandfather.

709
00:38:16,169 --> 00:38:18,252
Admiral Ambrose
of the Blue.

710
00:38:18,254 --> 00:38:19,495
Oh!

711
00:38:21,007 --> 00:38:22,123
Good morning, Mr. Duckworth.

712
00:38:22,133 --> 00:38:23,169
Sorry, sir.

713
00:38:23,176 --> 00:38:24,257
First aid kit wanted.

714
00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:26,126
- An accident?
- A man fainted, sir.

715
00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:27,799
One of the anglers.

716
00:38:32,977 --> 00:38:36,641
It's a Japanese balloon fish.

717
00:38:36,648 --> 00:38:38,685
It's fantastic!

718
00:38:38,691 --> 00:38:41,434
They never swim
west of Sumatra!

719
00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:43,231
Oi, look at this!

720
00:38:44,489 --> 00:38:46,856
No, it's... it's impossible!

721
00:38:46,866 --> 00:38:49,654
- What is it?
- Why, it's a... it's a...

722
00:38:54,415 --> 00:38:56,122
Number One...

723
00:38:56,125 --> 00:38:59,539
I think our pier's
gonna set people talking.

724
00:38:59,546 --> 00:39:01,208
Mr. Mayor,

725
00:39:01,214 --> 00:39:04,298
I have never hesitated
to express my opinion

726
00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:07,668
that Sandcastle Pier
is an eyesore,

727
00:39:07,679 --> 00:39:10,467
a blot on our beautiful town.

728
00:39:10,473 --> 00:39:12,305
And now that it has
become the property

729
00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:14,262
of a person who seeks,
it appears,

730
00:39:14,269 --> 00:39:17,137
only to subvert the morals
of our young people...

731
00:39:17,146 --> 00:39:18,512
It's all right, madam.

732
00:39:18,523 --> 00:39:20,310
A person, moreover,

733
00:39:20,316 --> 00:39:21,602
who now has the effrontery

734
00:39:21,609 --> 00:39:24,022
to apply for a license
to sell liquor.

735
00:39:24,028 --> 00:39:26,691
Mrs. Barrington,
I can set your mind at rest.

736
00:39:27,824 --> 00:39:29,565
I'm very glad to hear it.

737
00:39:29,576 --> 00:39:32,193
Now, the planning committee
has been working

738
00:39:32,203 --> 00:39:33,785
for some little time
on a scheme

739
00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:36,201
for the improvement
of our seafront.

740
00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:39,075
And the result of our efforts,
which you have in front of you,

741
00:39:39,085 --> 00:39:40,621
is a plan
which is going to mean

742
00:39:40,628 --> 00:39:43,120
the total removal
of the pier.

743
00:39:43,131 --> 00:39:45,748
This will be acquired
by compulsory purchase,

744
00:39:45,758 --> 00:39:46,999
and its demolition
will make room

745
00:39:47,010 --> 00:39:49,502
for the construction
of a new marine drive.

746
00:39:49,512 --> 00:39:51,925
I've often thought that was
something we badly lacked.

747
00:39:51,931 --> 00:39:53,797
As you can see,
this will consist

748
00:39:53,808 --> 00:39:56,095
of a roadway running along
the foot of the cliff

749
00:39:56,102 --> 00:39:59,891
and taking in approximately
100 feet of the foreshore.

750
00:39:59,898 --> 00:40:01,264
A hundred feet?

751
00:40:01,274 --> 00:40:03,937
But that will mean moving
my bathing huts forward.

752
00:40:03,943 --> 00:40:05,855
I'm afraid this scheme
does not envisage

753
00:40:05,862 --> 00:40:09,355
the retention
of your bathing huts.

754
00:40:09,365 --> 00:40:12,358
You want to get rid
of my huts?

755
00:40:12,368 --> 00:40:13,859
Well, since we're getting rid
of the pier...

756
00:40:13,870 --> 00:40:16,157
But my huts have been there
for over 30 years.

757
00:40:16,164 --> 00:40:18,030
The pier has been there
for 65 years.

758
00:40:18,041 --> 00:40:20,033
I hardly think your huts
come into the category

759
00:40:20,043 --> 00:40:22,285
of ancient monuments.

760
00:40:22,295 --> 00:40:25,083
Though, naturally, you'll be
offered compensation for them.

761
00:40:26,466 --> 00:40:29,254
And may I inquire what
the new owner of the pier

762
00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:31,343
is going to get in the way
of compensation?

763
00:40:31,346 --> 00:40:32,382
Hmm?

764
00:40:32,388 --> 00:40:33,845
The figure arrived at
by the surveyor

765
00:40:33,848 --> 00:40:36,056
is £2,800.

766
00:40:36,059 --> 00:40:37,721
And may I further inquire,
Mr. Mayor,

767
00:40:37,727 --> 00:40:40,936
what you received
for the sale of the pier?

768
00:40:42,231 --> 00:40:44,393
That is entirely
a private matter.

769
00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:46,684
Very private,
I've no doubt.

770
00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:49,111
What you getting at, eh?

771
00:40:49,113 --> 00:40:51,400
Madam, we must not involve
ourselves in personal issues.

772
00:40:51,407 --> 00:40:53,490
We're here to serve
the community, remember?

773
00:40:53,493 --> 00:40:54,609
Hear, hear.

774
00:40:54,619 --> 00:40:58,112
Gentlemen, I've sat here
longer than any of you

775
00:40:58,122 --> 00:41:00,034
and I can remember
the time when this council

776
00:41:00,041 --> 00:41:02,749
had a reputation for service
to the community

777
00:41:02,752 --> 00:41:05,961
of which
it was justly proud.

778
00:41:05,964 --> 00:41:08,422
Self-interest was then
a thing unknown.

779
00:41:08,424 --> 00:41:10,165
Are you accusing us
of self-interest?

780
00:41:10,176 --> 00:41:11,417
You're a fine one to talk.

781
00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:13,677
All this fuss about
those old huts of yours?

782
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:14,796
Order, please, order.

783
00:41:14,806 --> 00:41:17,890
- Mrs. Barrington...
- Thank you, Mr. Mayor.

784
00:41:17,892 --> 00:41:18,973
Under the impact
of the blow,

785
00:41:18,977 --> 00:41:20,718
perhaps I have been
thinking selfishly

786
00:41:20,728 --> 00:41:23,095
of my own interests.

787
00:41:23,106 --> 00:41:24,106
But at least I can plead

788
00:41:24,107 --> 00:41:26,190
that I'm not
the only offender here.

789
00:41:28,903 --> 00:41:31,145
Let the mayor deny that
he's made a quick profit

790
00:41:31,155 --> 00:41:33,112
on the sale of the pier.

791
00:41:33,116 --> 00:41:35,108
And let him deny
that his firm

792
00:41:35,118 --> 00:41:38,828
will get the contract
for this new marine drive.

793
00:41:38,830 --> 00:41:40,571
And you, Mr. Bullen.

794
00:41:40,581 --> 00:41:42,618
Let us hear you declare
that you won't take the pier

795
00:41:42,625 --> 00:41:44,161
for scrap
when it's demolished.

796
00:41:44,168 --> 00:41:45,454
This is disgraceful.

797
00:41:45,461 --> 00:41:47,248
Madam, your remarks
are highly improper.

798
00:41:47,255 --> 00:41:48,336
As a lawyer,
I'd better warn you,

799
00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:49,625
they're also gross slander.

800
00:41:49,632 --> 00:41:51,168
Mrs. Barrington,
I must demand...

801
00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:53,667
Save your breath,
Mr. Mayor.

802
00:41:53,678 --> 00:41:56,921
I'm no longer having any part
in this conspiracy.

803
00:41:59,058 --> 00:42:01,596
You will kindly accept
my resignation

804
00:42:01,602 --> 00:42:03,764
from the council.

805
00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:17,741
Last of the anglers
gone ashore, sir.

806
00:42:17,744 --> 00:42:19,736
- With a catch, I hope.
- Two, sir.

807
00:42:19,746 --> 00:42:21,487
East Indian triggerfish
and a porcupine eel.

808
00:42:21,539 --> 00:42:23,622
Splendid, all right,
darken ship, Number One.

809
00:42:23,624 --> 00:42:24,956
Aye, aye, sir.

810
00:42:30,173 --> 00:42:32,005
Sir!

811
00:42:32,008 --> 00:42:33,008
What is it?

812
00:42:33,009 --> 00:42:35,672
It's a lady friend of ours.

813
00:42:35,678 --> 00:42:37,465
Flying a distress signal.

814
00:42:57,867 --> 00:42:59,779
I hope I'm not
intruding, ma'am.

815
00:42:59,786 --> 00:43:03,496
Please leave me alone,
mister... captain.

816
00:43:03,498 --> 00:43:05,160
I'm perfectly all right.

817
00:43:05,166 --> 00:43:06,623
I don't like
to contradict a lady,

818
00:43:06,626 --> 00:43:08,117
but you seem
to be in distress.

819
00:43:08,127 --> 00:43:12,212
Well, if I am, I can hardly
expect you to understand.

820
00:43:12,215 --> 00:43:13,751
Please go.

821
00:43:13,758 --> 00:43:15,420
Very well, ma'am.

822
00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:18,260
If you're sure
there's nothing I can do.

823
00:43:18,262 --> 00:43:21,755
They're going
to take my huts away.

824
00:43:21,766 --> 00:43:23,348
Dear me.

825
00:43:23,351 --> 00:43:25,058
You shall tell me
all about it.

826
00:43:25,061 --> 00:43:27,519
My cabin isn't exactly up
to battlewagon standards,

827
00:43:27,522 --> 00:43:29,639
but I used to make the best
coffee in the water.

828
00:43:29,649 --> 00:43:31,140
Come along.
Come on.

829
00:43:40,326 --> 00:43:42,113
And, so,
to cut a long story short,

830
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,157
I resigned then and there.

831
00:43:44,163 --> 00:43:45,745
Quite right.

832
00:43:45,748 --> 00:43:47,580
A tot of this to jolly it up?

833
00:43:47,583 --> 00:43:49,245
Oh, no.
Please, wait.

834
00:43:49,252 --> 00:43:50,914
- What is it?
- Rum, ma'am.

835
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:51,956
Oh, no.

836
00:43:51,963 --> 00:43:53,124
I never touch alcohol.

837
00:43:53,131 --> 00:43:55,043
Then this is
a good time to start.

838
00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:56,881
It's an occasion for splicing
the main brace.

839
00:43:56,884 --> 00:43:58,967
- What?
- Celebration.

840
00:43:58,970 --> 00:44:00,802
You've resigned
from the council.

841
00:44:00,805 --> 00:44:01,886
Oh, but that doesn't mean...

842
00:44:01,889 --> 00:44:03,096
Come along, now.

843
00:44:03,099 --> 00:44:04,931
Strike it down.

844
00:44:08,563 --> 00:44:11,351
Mm, I think perhaps
it does improve the coffee.

845
00:44:11,357 --> 00:44:13,895
It improves the world, madam.

846
00:44:13,901 --> 00:44:17,190
- Nothing can alter the facts.
- Oh yes it can.

847
00:44:17,196 --> 00:44:19,404
Nobody's going to take
your huts away from you.

848
00:44:19,407 --> 00:44:22,445
But you don't realize the powers
they have, compulsory purchase...

849
00:44:22,451 --> 00:44:25,068
Mrs. Barrington, you shall
put your huts on my pier.

850
00:44:27,456 --> 00:44:31,200
Captain Ambrose,
I've misjudged you.

851
00:44:31,210 --> 00:44:32,746
Forget it, ma'am.

852
00:44:32,753 --> 00:44:34,085
Some coffee.

853
00:44:34,088 --> 00:44:37,456
Most generous,
a most generous offer.

854
00:44:37,466 --> 00:44:39,458
- I only wish I could accept it...
- Listen, ma'am,

855
00:44:39,468 --> 00:44:41,630
there's plenty of deck space,
and there's no reason

856
00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:43,762
why we shouldn't carry a bit
more top hamper.

857
00:44:43,764 --> 00:44:45,551
I'm not concerned
about her looks.

858
00:44:45,558 --> 00:44:47,049
She's an old hooker,
and I know it.

859
00:44:47,059 --> 00:44:48,550
Mm, but you don't understand me.

860
00:44:48,561 --> 00:44:50,097
To tell you the truth,
I only bought her

861
00:44:50,104 --> 00:44:52,096
because I've always wanted
a command of my own,

862
00:44:52,106 --> 00:44:54,814
but this is the only one
I could ever arise to.

863
00:44:54,817 --> 00:44:58,936
Just an ugly, old hooker,
but I wouldn't change her

864
00:44:58,946 --> 00:45:01,359
for any craft afloat.

865
00:45:04,952 --> 00:45:07,615
Here, steady, steady,
this won't do.

866
00:45:07,622 --> 00:45:11,457
Captain Ambrose,
I don't know how to tell you.

867
00:45:11,459 --> 00:45:14,497
To tell me what?

868
00:45:14,503 --> 00:45:18,087
I can't put my huts
on your pier, because...

869
00:45:23,471 --> 00:45:27,010
they're going to
take the pier as well.

870
00:45:27,016 --> 00:45:29,759
They're...

871
00:45:29,769 --> 00:45:31,305
What did you say?

872
00:45:31,312 --> 00:45:34,396
They're going to take it over
and demolish it.

873
00:45:38,861 --> 00:45:42,275
They will give you compensation,
of course.

874
00:45:42,281 --> 00:45:45,865
2,800 pounds, they said.

875
00:45:45,868 --> 00:45:48,702
But I paid 5,000 for her.

876
00:45:48,704 --> 00:45:51,697
- 5,000?
- Every penny I could scrape up.

877
00:45:51,707 --> 00:45:54,415
Ooh.

878
00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:57,911
That crony, that crook!

879
00:45:57,922 --> 00:46:00,539
That horrible swindler!

880
00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:06,170
- The pier wasn't worth that.
- She was worth it to me.

881
00:46:06,180 --> 00:46:08,672
Just an ugly, old...
what was it you said?

882
00:46:08,683 --> 00:46:10,675
Hoo... hooker, ma'am,

883
00:46:10,685 --> 00:46:13,974
just an old tub,
but that's not the point.

884
00:46:13,980 --> 00:46:16,518
I'll tell you something,
you've told me a secret,

885
00:46:16,524 --> 00:46:18,641
I'll tell you a secret.

886
00:46:18,651 --> 00:46:22,691
There is no other sort of ship
can ever suit me,

887
00:46:22,697 --> 00:46:27,032
and I'll tell you why.

888
00:46:27,034 --> 00:46:29,697
I get seasick.

889
00:46:29,704 --> 00:46:34,039
Permanently,
catastrophically seasick.

890
00:46:34,041 --> 00:46:39,036
You poor sailor.

891
00:46:39,213 --> 00:46:43,082
Understand this is the only
command I can ever have,

892
00:46:43,092 --> 00:46:44,583
I've got to stop them!

893
00:46:44,593 --> 00:46:47,051
How?
The counsel have got the power,

894
00:46:47,054 --> 00:46:48,716
they can do what they like
in this town.

895
00:46:48,723 --> 00:46:52,967
My pier is not in this town,
she belongs to the sea!

896
00:46:52,977 --> 00:46:57,517
It comes under the jurish...
jurisdiction.

897
00:46:57,523 --> 00:46:59,856
Are sure of that, quite sure?

898
00:46:59,859 --> 00:47:04,854
Just like the holiday camp
on Starfish Island.

899
00:47:05,448 --> 00:47:09,283
- Holiday camp.
- What about it?

900
00:47:09,285 --> 00:47:14,280
My huts, 24 huts,
two bunks in each,

901
00:47:14,665 --> 00:47:17,874
holiday camp on the pier!

902
00:47:17,877 --> 00:47:20,415
We could run it together,
you and me.

903
00:47:20,421 --> 00:47:23,505
- A holiday camp on the pier.
- Wait.

904
00:47:23,507 --> 00:47:28,502
Not a holiday camp...
a liner, holiday cruises.

905
00:47:28,554 --> 00:47:30,716
For people like you,
always seasick,

906
00:47:30,723 --> 00:47:33,932
never been on a cruise...
hundreds of people like that,

907
00:47:33,934 --> 00:47:35,926
- thousands!
- The liner that never rocks,

908
00:47:35,936 --> 00:47:40,556
- never rolls.
- You've spent your savings.

909
00:47:40,566 --> 00:47:44,901
I could do my savings.

910
00:47:44,904 --> 00:47:48,068
That's very kind of you.

911
00:47:48,074 --> 00:47:50,191
But it's no good.

912
00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:53,035
- A pipe dream.
- Partners.

913
00:47:53,037 --> 00:47:57,202
- We'll be partners!
- You've forgotten the counsel.

914
00:47:57,208 --> 00:47:59,916
Ohh the counsel.

915
00:47:59,919 --> 00:48:02,332
Going to sink your ship.

916
00:48:02,338 --> 00:48:04,079
Sink my ship?

917
00:48:16,477 --> 00:48:19,015
- But they couldn't, could they?
- Couldn't what?

918
00:48:19,021 --> 00:48:22,765
Sink my ship...
if she were a ship.

919
00:48:22,775 --> 00:48:27,645
- Mrs. Barrington, listen to me!
- Call me Arabella.

920
00:48:27,655 --> 00:48:29,066
Arabella.

921
00:48:32,576 --> 00:48:35,535
But that's beautiful...
steady, Arabella.

922
00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:44,036
Ara... bella.

923
00:48:44,046 --> 00:48:45,582
Tonnage?

924
00:48:45,589 --> 00:48:48,878
- 2,116.
- Is that dead weight?

925
00:48:48,926 --> 00:48:51,088
It is, indeed.

926
00:48:51,095 --> 00:48:53,132
- Class of ship?
- I'm using her

927
00:48:53,139 --> 00:48:54,846
as a pleasure craft.

928
00:48:54,849 --> 00:48:57,557
Passenger vessel.

929
00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:59,017
Port of registry?

930
00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:01,978
Sandcastle-on-Sea.

931
00:49:01,981 --> 00:49:03,438
Something wrong?

932
00:49:03,441 --> 00:49:07,435
No, it's just a little unusual,
a seaside resort.

933
00:49:07,445 --> 00:49:09,812
Type and make of engines?

934
00:49:09,822 --> 00:49:12,815
Oil induction,
Loveday and Bone.

935
00:49:12,825 --> 00:49:16,034
Loveday and Bone, are they
making marine engines now?

936
00:49:16,036 --> 00:49:17,277
They made ours.

937
00:49:17,288 --> 00:49:19,325
I thought they were only
light and power.

938
00:49:19,331 --> 00:49:21,698
That's rather interesting.

939
00:49:21,709 --> 00:49:23,917
When and where
was your ship built?

940
00:49:23,961 --> 00:49:28,251
- Sandcastle, 1892.
- 1892?

941
00:49:28,257 --> 00:49:30,419
Then she must have been
on the register for years.

942
00:49:30,426 --> 00:49:33,919
She has never been launched.

943
00:49:33,929 --> 00:49:36,421
I see.

944
00:49:36,432 --> 00:49:38,890
Well, well.

945
00:49:38,893 --> 00:49:41,931
Length?

946
00:49:41,979 --> 00:49:46,519
1,032 feet.

947
00:49:46,525 --> 00:49:49,939
I dare say, that makes her
longer than the Queen Elizabeth.

948
00:49:49,945 --> 00:49:53,529
She is.

949
00:49:53,532 --> 00:49:55,364
Hmm.

950
00:49:55,367 --> 00:49:56,949
I shall be interested
to see the plans

951
00:49:56,952 --> 00:49:58,659
of this remarkable vessel.

952
00:49:58,662 --> 00:49:59,662
- Plans?
- Well surely

953
00:49:59,663 --> 00:50:03,327
you brought them with you.

954
00:50:03,334 --> 00:50:04,825
- Are they essential?
- Well certainly

955
00:50:04,835 --> 00:50:06,451
they're essential,
you can't register a ship

956
00:50:06,462 --> 00:50:08,829
in this country
until we've approved our plans.

957
00:50:08,839 --> 00:50:11,377
- This isn't Liberama.
- Liberama.

958
00:50:11,383 --> 00:50:13,295
Some of those countries
would register a washtub

959
00:50:13,302 --> 00:50:15,589
for the sake of the fees.

960
00:50:15,596 --> 00:50:17,007
Liberama.

961
00:50:21,685 --> 00:50:25,178
1,032 feet.

962
00:50:25,189 --> 00:50:27,772
Well now let me see, what figure
would that be in meters?

963
00:50:27,775 --> 00:50:30,188
I haven't worked it out.

964
00:50:30,194 --> 00:50:33,232
Well no matter,
it's a technicality.

965
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:37,984
But now, Captain, I have to be
a little bit more specific.

966
00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:41,278
International shipping
regulations, you understand.

967
00:50:41,288 --> 00:50:42,904
You carry radio, of course?

968
00:50:42,915 --> 00:50:45,783
Of course,
and a television set on order.

969
00:50:45,793 --> 00:50:48,581
Really? Most enterprising.

970
00:50:48,587 --> 00:50:50,829
Lifeboats, fog warning system?

971
00:50:50,839 --> 00:50:52,956
- All in hand.
- And radar?

972
00:50:52,967 --> 00:50:55,425
That's an idea,
and more entertaining than TV.

973
00:50:55,427 --> 00:50:57,919
I'll see what I can do,
thank you for the suggestion.

974
00:50:57,930 --> 00:50:59,466
It's a pleasure.

975
00:50:59,473 --> 00:51:03,808
Well, that is really
all I require here.

976
00:51:03,811 --> 00:51:07,771
Except a little matter
of registration fee.

977
00:51:07,773 --> 00:51:12,393
- If you please.
- Oh, thank you.

978
00:51:12,403 --> 00:51:15,316
My government will inform
Lloyd's in the usual way

979
00:51:15,322 --> 00:51:18,486
about this addition
to our merchant Navy.

980
00:51:18,492 --> 00:51:20,449
When is the launching ceremony?

981
00:51:20,452 --> 00:51:22,535
Soon as we've finished work
on her superstructure.

982
00:52:42,743 --> 00:52:45,201
I name this ship Arabella!

983
00:52:45,204 --> 00:52:47,992
Good luck!

984
00:52:47,998 --> 00:52:49,034
Ooh!

985
00:52:51,168 --> 00:52:54,081
Try again!

986
00:52:54,088 --> 00:52:57,297
I name this ship... Arabella.

987
00:53:00,177 --> 00:53:03,921
Good luck to all
who never sail in her.

988
00:53:03,931 --> 00:53:05,467
Aye!

989
00:53:08,227 --> 00:53:09,763
- Hooray, hooray, hooray!
- Hooray, hooray, hooray!

990
00:53:09,770 --> 00:53:11,887
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Hey, hey, hey!

991
00:53:33,293 --> 00:53:35,000
Fog warning, on a day like this?

992
00:53:35,003 --> 00:53:36,585
- Fella must be mad.
- He'll be mad all right

993
00:53:36,588 --> 00:53:38,500
when he sees this...
come on.

994
00:53:40,968 --> 00:53:41,968
Aye.

995
00:53:47,641 --> 00:53:49,382
Welcome aboard, ma'am.

996
00:53:49,393 --> 00:53:51,726
- A great day, Captain.
- The crew is lined up

997
00:53:51,729 --> 00:53:54,938
- for your inspection.
- Oh, how sweet of them!

998
00:53:57,735 --> 00:54:00,068
One can't help feeling sorry
for the poor devil, you know,

999
00:54:00,070 --> 00:54:01,561
the money this must
be costing.

1000
00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:03,689
What beats me
is where he gets it all from.

1001
00:54:03,699 --> 00:54:05,782
What did he pay Mrs. Barrington
for these huts?

1002
00:54:05,784 --> 00:54:09,653
I haven't set eyes on her
since she walked out on us.

1003
00:54:09,663 --> 00:54:11,495
Oh-ho!

1004
00:54:13,834 --> 00:54:14,834
So there she is.

1005
00:54:14,835 --> 00:54:16,542
What on earth is she doing here?

1006
00:54:19,465 --> 00:54:21,047
Good afternoon, gentlemen.

1007
00:54:21,049 --> 00:54:23,006
We were not expecting
visitors today, but...

1008
00:54:23,010 --> 00:54:24,717
Captain Ambrose,
as mayor of this borough,

1009
00:54:24,720 --> 00:54:26,712
it's my duty to hand you this.

1010
00:54:26,722 --> 00:54:30,215
A civic welcome,
how very generous.

1011
00:54:30,225 --> 00:54:32,968
Order for compulsory purchase.

1012
00:54:32,978 --> 00:54:35,186
There's been a mistake,
that can't apply here.

1013
00:54:35,189 --> 00:54:37,351
- I'm afraid it does.
- You read it, Captain Ambrose.

1014
00:54:37,357 --> 00:54:39,064
- You'll soon see.
- I really don't think

1015
00:54:39,067 --> 00:54:40,933
there's any need, Mr. Mayor.

1016
00:54:40,944 --> 00:54:42,560
I know quite well
a local authority

1017
00:54:42,571 --> 00:54:45,689
has no power to acquire a ship.

1018
00:54:45,699 --> 00:54:47,861
Did you say a ship?

1019
00:54:47,868 --> 00:54:49,655
The passenger vessel Arabella,

1020
00:54:49,661 --> 00:54:54,577
registered under
the ensign of Liberama.

1021
00:54:54,583 --> 00:54:56,540
But you're out of your mind.

1022
00:54:56,543 --> 00:54:59,331
If you wish for confirmation,
here is the latest supplement

1023
00:54:59,338 --> 00:55:01,796
to Lloyd's register.

1024
00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:05,759
- But you can't do this.
- I have done it.

1025
00:55:05,761 --> 00:55:08,344
Would you do us the honor,
ma'am, of giving us the order.

1026
00:55:08,347 --> 00:55:10,714
With pleasure, Captain.

1027
00:55:10,724 --> 00:55:14,889
Splice the mainbrace!

1028
00:55:14,895 --> 00:55:17,012
Come and get it!

1029
00:55:17,022 --> 00:55:19,435
Up spirits!

1030
00:55:34,289 --> 00:55:37,703
- Thank you.
- Will you join us, gentlemen?

1031
00:55:43,715 --> 00:55:45,422
Well, that seems to be that.

1032
00:55:45,425 --> 00:55:47,667
I hope so, Captain.

1033
00:55:47,678 --> 00:55:50,512
Mr. Crowley stands to lose
a great deal by this.

1034
00:55:50,514 --> 00:55:52,631
More than he can afford.

1035
00:55:52,641 --> 00:55:54,803
You must keep your
weather eye open.

1036
00:55:54,810 --> 00:55:56,517
It never closes, ma'am.

1037
00:55:59,898 --> 00:56:03,016
Book now for
the maiden voyage of R.M.S.

1038
00:56:03,026 --> 00:56:06,235
(really motionless ship)
Arabella.

1039
00:56:06,238 --> 00:56:08,446
The ship that never rocks,
never rolls.

1040
00:56:08,448 --> 00:56:11,407
- I'll rock and roll 'em.
- No currency restrictions.

1041
00:56:11,410 --> 00:56:13,527
My currency's gonna be
restricted though.

1042
00:56:13,537 --> 00:56:15,324
I was counting on
that scrap metal deal.

1043
00:56:15,372 --> 00:56:17,614
- And what about you?
- That'll do, Bullen.

1044
00:56:17,624 --> 00:56:18,990
I want to know the planning
committee's legal rights.

1045
00:56:19,001 --> 00:56:20,617
Yes, after all,

1046
00:56:20,627 --> 00:56:22,619
we have been authorized
to build the marine drive.

1047
00:56:22,629 --> 00:56:24,336
And as long as that
confounded pier is standing,

1048
00:56:24,339 --> 00:56:26,126
we can't even make a start.

1049
00:56:26,133 --> 00:56:28,295
Well, I'm afraid we have to
accept the fact that, in law,

1050
00:56:28,302 --> 00:56:31,466
the pier is now a ship,
but at least we can see to it

1051
00:56:31,471 --> 00:56:34,714
that these cruises of his are
a very uneconomic proposition.

1052
00:57:10,636 --> 00:57:13,344
- Oh look, did he?
- Yes.

1053
00:57:39,957 --> 00:57:41,664
Good morning, gentlemen,
is it possible

1054
00:57:41,667 --> 00:57:43,499
you have booked passage with us?

1055
00:57:43,502 --> 00:57:45,835
Not today, Ambrose...
you might say we represent

1056
00:57:45,837 --> 00:57:48,750
- the port authority.
- We have you to thank, Captain,

1057
00:57:48,757 --> 00:57:50,339
for making us a seaport.

1058
00:57:50,342 --> 00:57:52,334
I'm glad I've been able
to please you.

1059
00:57:52,344 --> 00:57:54,506
A splendid new source of income
for the town.

1060
00:57:54,513 --> 00:57:57,677
Mr. Chailey, what are the harbor
dues for the Arabella?

1061
00:57:57,683 --> 00:58:00,221
According to the authorized
scale of harbor dues

1062
00:58:00,227 --> 00:58:02,310
for English seaports,
a ship of this size,

1063
00:58:02,312 --> 00:58:05,521
for each day at her birth,
is chargeable to the amount of

1064
00:58:09,194 --> 00:58:12,312
247 pounds?

1065
00:58:12,322 --> 00:58:14,188
A lot of money.

1066
00:58:14,199 --> 00:58:16,031
Too much, I think, ma'am,
for the attractions

1067
00:58:16,034 --> 00:58:18,026
which Sandcastle has to offer.

1068
00:58:18,036 --> 00:58:19,152
Refuse to pay
and we take you to court.

1069
00:58:19,162 --> 00:58:20,949
- Mr. Merrick.
- Sir.

1070
00:58:20,956 --> 00:58:23,323
Send the ship's carpenter here
with an axe.

1071
00:58:23,333 --> 00:58:24,995
- Aye, aye, sir.
- And run up the blue peter,

1072
00:58:25,002 --> 00:58:27,540
we sail with this tide.

1073
00:58:27,546 --> 00:58:29,333
As officials of the port
authority, you realize,

1074
00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:32,252
of course, that harbor dues
are only payable so long as

1075
00:58:32,259 --> 00:58:35,377
a ship is lying in her moorings.

1076
00:58:35,387 --> 00:58:40,303
Uhh... I shall require notice
of that question.

1077
00:58:40,308 --> 00:58:41,674
I thought you might.

1078
00:58:41,685 --> 00:58:43,221
Are you coming with us,
gentlemen?

1079
00:58:43,228 --> 00:58:46,392
If not, I must ask you
to step ashore.

1080
00:58:46,398 --> 00:58:48,390
We're about to cast off.

1081
00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:50,642
Chips, sever those planks.

1082
00:59:20,557 --> 00:59:23,345
- Bye!
- Bye!

1083
01:00:09,940 --> 01:00:12,808
What do you make of her,
Mr. Duckworth?

1084
01:00:12,818 --> 01:00:14,559
It's a dredger, sir.

1085
01:00:14,569 --> 01:00:17,232
Working on the deep water
channel, she's an old friend.

1086
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:22,908
- You know her skipper.
- Who, Figg?

1087
01:00:22,911 --> 01:00:24,277
Figg, sir.

1088
01:00:24,287 --> 01:00:26,153
Back on his old job, eh?

1089
01:00:26,164 --> 01:00:28,076
She's all yours, Mr. Duckworth.

1090
01:00:40,095 --> 01:00:43,463
No, no, the fancy one!

1091
01:00:43,473 --> 01:00:46,090
That one over there.

1092
01:00:46,101 --> 01:00:47,683
How much is it?

1093
01:00:47,686 --> 01:00:50,599
No, the other one.

1094
01:00:50,647 --> 01:00:53,264
Take my advice, ma'am,
don't trust the natives.

1095
01:00:53,275 --> 01:00:54,356
Oh.

1096
01:01:05,871 --> 01:01:07,908
One shilling, sir.

1097
01:01:07,914 --> 01:01:09,826
Only a buck for a scotch?

1098
01:01:09,833 --> 01:01:12,120
We're at sea now, sir,
duty-free.

1099
01:01:12,127 --> 01:01:14,790
- Make it a treble.
- Righto, sir.

1100
01:01:35,025 --> 01:01:37,813
My sister Agnes now,
she's just like a horse,

1101
01:01:37,819 --> 01:01:39,526
never been sick in her life.

1102
01:01:39,529 --> 01:01:41,862
Only last week she came back
from a cruise in the Med,

1103
01:01:41,865 --> 01:01:43,777
and when she told us that
she sat at the Captain's table,

1104
01:01:43,783 --> 01:01:45,399
I said to my husband,
"Bertie" I said,

1105
01:01:45,410 --> 01:01:47,652
"if you don't get us seats
at the Captain's table,

1106
01:01:47,704 --> 01:01:50,742
I'm going to"... well,
what has happened to Bertie.

1107
01:01:50,749 --> 01:01:53,457
First night out, bound to be
a few missing at table.

1108
01:01:53,460 --> 01:01:55,827
- Steward.
- Sir.

1109
01:01:55,837 --> 01:01:58,420
Bring me a bottle of Taylor '07
from the port bin.

1110
01:01:58,423 --> 01:01:59,834
Port's in the starboard bin,
sir.

1111
01:01:59,841 --> 01:02:02,675
Then sweep to starboard,
T for Taylor '07.

1112
01:02:02,677 --> 01:02:05,010
T for Taylor '07, sir.

1113
01:02:27,369 --> 01:02:32,364
- Key to the door 2121.
- Doctor's orders.

1114
01:02:32,415 --> 01:02:34,702
Number nine.

1115
01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:37,915
- Unlucky for some.
- 1313.

1116
01:02:37,921 --> 01:02:40,083
Somebody in the water
out there under the ship

1117
01:02:40,090 --> 01:02:42,377
swimming like a fish.

1118
01:02:42,384 --> 01:02:44,250
Well, I expect
it was a mermaid, sir.

1119
01:02:44,261 --> 01:02:47,504
Lots of them about
at this time of the year.

1120
01:02:47,514 --> 01:02:49,972
- Legs 11.
- Number 11.

1121
01:02:49,975 --> 01:02:52,934
Bingo, I won!

1122
01:02:58,316 --> 01:03:00,524
And though this boat drill is
only a rehearsal for something

1123
01:03:00,527 --> 01:03:03,736
that won't ever happen,
still we have to obey

1124
01:03:03,780 --> 01:03:05,646
international shipping
regulations.

1125
01:03:05,657 --> 01:03:07,569
Mrs. Hopkin's,
you're back to front.

1126
01:03:07,575 --> 01:03:09,407
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

1127
01:03:12,622 --> 01:03:15,035
Mr. Thomas,
check lifeboats' gear.

1128
01:03:15,041 --> 01:03:16,907
- Aye, aye, sir.
- Right that-a way.

1129
01:03:19,879 --> 01:03:22,371
Handsomely, lads, handsomely.

1130
01:03:25,927 --> 01:03:27,543
There's a man down there!

1131
01:03:35,270 --> 01:03:36,386
Evie!

1132
01:03:48,783 --> 01:03:51,446
Oh, Captain, I've just been
telling my sister,

1133
01:03:51,453 --> 01:03:54,196
we've got everything she ever
had on any of her cruises.

1134
01:03:54,205 --> 01:03:57,448
- Not a single thing missing.
- Not even your breakfast.

1135
01:03:57,459 --> 01:04:00,577
May I have a word with you, sir?

1136
01:04:00,587 --> 01:04:02,078
Oh, lovely!

1137
01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:06,332
Come along now,
what were you doing down there?

1138
01:04:06,343 --> 01:04:09,507
- Swimming.
- But why under the pier?

1139
01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:11,674
Well, why not?
It's a free ocean, isn't it?

1140
01:04:11,681 --> 01:04:13,468
- Now see here you!
- Just a minute.

1141
01:04:13,475 --> 01:04:15,216
What's your name?

1142
01:04:15,226 --> 01:04:18,515
- Davy Jones.
- All right, throw him back.

1143
01:04:29,741 --> 01:04:31,949
Sir, do you reckon
it was him who shook up

1144
01:04:31,951 --> 01:04:33,567
the poor old Major last night?

1145
01:04:33,578 --> 01:04:36,161
If it was, he must have been
here for some purpose.

1146
01:04:36,164 --> 01:04:38,451
Let's have another go at him.

1147
01:04:38,458 --> 01:04:41,451
Ha-ha-ha, too late.

1148
01:04:41,461 --> 01:04:44,249
We've learned from this
underwater survey that

1149
01:04:44,255 --> 01:04:49,171
the pier supports go down into
the seabed for some 15 feet.

1150
01:04:49,177 --> 01:04:51,510
Now, the safety margin,
our surveyor tells me,

1151
01:04:51,513 --> 01:04:54,802
- is 12 feet.
- Councilor Figg's dredger.

1152
01:04:54,808 --> 01:04:56,595
- Precisely.
- Yes, but Mr. Mayor...

1153
01:04:56,601 --> 01:04:59,935
We have only to dredge away
three feet of mud, and...

1154
01:04:59,938 --> 01:05:01,395
But they'll have us for damages,

1155
01:05:01,398 --> 01:05:03,264
- heavy damages.
- How come, Mr. Chailey?

1156
01:05:03,274 --> 01:05:04,731
We shan't be
laying a finger on them.

1157
01:05:04,734 --> 01:05:06,066
- Mr. Mayor...
- We should merely be

1158
01:05:06,069 --> 01:05:08,732
deepening the harbor
for this so-called ship,

1159
01:05:08,738 --> 01:05:11,151
and making sure at the same time
that her first cruise

1160
01:05:11,157 --> 01:05:13,490
will also be her last.

1161
01:05:13,493 --> 01:05:16,281
But do we want it
to be her last?

1162
01:05:16,287 --> 01:05:18,529
I beg your pardon, Mr. Timmins.

1163
01:05:18,540 --> 01:05:20,623
I can't help wondering,
Mr. Mayor, whether we're not

1164
01:05:20,625 --> 01:05:22,867
making a great mistake
going to all these lengths

1165
01:05:22,877 --> 01:05:24,584
to get rid of the pier.

1166
01:05:24,587 --> 01:05:27,079
- Are you mad?
- I know we agreed to scrap it,

1167
01:05:27,090 --> 01:05:29,673
but that was before
Captain Ambrose came along.

1168
01:05:29,676 --> 01:05:31,963
We didn't anticipate
all this publicity.

1169
01:05:31,970 --> 01:05:34,587
It has put Sandcastle
very much on the front page.

1170
01:05:34,597 --> 01:05:35,883
And what has that done
for the town

1171
01:05:35,890 --> 01:05:37,552
except turn it
into a vulgar joke?

1172
01:05:37,559 --> 01:05:39,221
It's attracted
a lot of visitors,

1173
01:05:39,227 --> 01:05:40,718
and visitors mean money.

1174
01:05:40,728 --> 01:05:42,845
Just so, I think
Mr. Chailey is quite right.

1175
01:05:42,856 --> 01:05:45,018
Whether we like it or not,
Sandcastle Pier

1176
01:05:45,024 --> 01:05:46,356
is famous today
all over the country.

1177
01:05:46,359 --> 01:05:47,895
Yes, yes,
well that's what I mean...

1178
01:05:47,902 --> 01:05:50,189
If you don't mind,
if we were to get rid of it now,

1179
01:05:50,196 --> 01:05:51,983
I can visualize
quite a public outcry.

1180
01:05:51,990 --> 01:05:53,697
I thought it was your opinion,
Mr. Chailey,

1181
01:05:53,700 --> 01:05:56,113
that we badly lacked
a marine drive.

1182
01:05:56,119 --> 01:05:58,281
But as you pointed out yourself,
Mr. Mayor, that would mean

1183
01:05:58,288 --> 01:05:59,824
the removal of the pier,
which is something

1184
01:05:59,831 --> 01:06:01,538
we might now
bitterly regret.

1185
01:06:01,541 --> 01:06:04,375
I do personally feel that
Mr. Chailey has come up with

1186
01:06:04,377 --> 01:06:06,164
a most valuable suggestion.

1187
01:06:06,171 --> 01:06:08,163
Here, here.

1188
01:06:09,299 --> 01:06:11,461
But to give up now...

1189
01:06:11,468 --> 01:06:14,176
Make us more of
a laughing stock than ever.

1190
01:06:14,179 --> 01:06:16,546
The next thing we know you'll be
wanting to subsidize the pier.

1191
01:06:16,556 --> 01:06:18,596
Well I think today it'd be
a pretty good investment.

1192
01:06:19,559 --> 01:06:21,767
Well what exactly
are you proposing?

1193
01:06:21,769 --> 01:06:24,227
I propose that approaches
be made to Captain Ambrose

1194
01:06:24,230 --> 01:06:26,096
and Mrs. Barrington,
with a view to the counsel

1195
01:06:26,107 --> 01:06:27,814
participating with them
in the management of the pier.

1196
01:06:27,817 --> 01:06:29,934
- I second that!
- Order, please!

1197
01:06:29,986 --> 01:06:33,696
- Vote, vote!
- Come on, vote, vote, please.

1198
01:06:33,698 --> 01:06:35,485
We were outvoted,
and it's all your fault

1199
01:06:35,492 --> 01:06:37,859
- for not coming to the meeting.
- What, before I'd had my bath?

1200
01:06:37,869 --> 01:06:39,110
You wouldn't have
liked it much if I'd come

1201
01:06:39,120 --> 01:06:40,782
straight from the dredger.

1202
01:06:40,788 --> 01:06:42,154
But your vote would've
made all the difference.

1203
01:06:42,165 --> 01:06:44,248
Now you've got to help us.

1204
01:06:44,250 --> 01:06:46,367
Well we can't dredge,
that's certain, they hear us.

1205
01:06:46,377 --> 01:06:50,246
Yes, of course we can't,
but there's another way.

1206
01:06:50,256 --> 01:06:53,920
You can pull it down.

1207
01:06:53,927 --> 01:06:55,793
- That's a lot to ask.
- Well there's a lot at stake,

1208
01:06:55,803 --> 01:06:57,294
and not only for me.

1209
01:06:57,305 --> 01:06:59,262
You're all in
on the marine drive contract,

1210
01:06:59,265 --> 01:07:00,426
but there won't be
a penny for anyone

1211
01:07:00,433 --> 01:07:02,846
if that pier remains standing.

1212
01:07:02,852 --> 01:07:04,764
We couldn't pull down
more than a bit of it.

1213
01:07:04,771 --> 01:07:06,979
But don't you see,
if only part of it collapses

1214
01:07:07,023 --> 01:07:09,185
for no apparent reason
except old age,

1215
01:07:09,192 --> 01:07:10,558
it'll be the easiest thing
in the world

1216
01:07:10,568 --> 01:07:13,857
to get the whole condemned
as unsafe.

1217
01:07:13,863 --> 01:07:15,855
Well you'll have to come
and crew for me.

1218
01:07:15,865 --> 01:07:17,447
- Us?
- Well I can't do it

1219
01:07:17,450 --> 01:07:19,658
all by myself,
and I'm not trusting my crew.

1220
01:07:19,661 --> 01:07:21,573
That'd have the black on me
for the rest of my life.

1221
01:07:21,579 --> 01:07:23,320
How many do you need?

1222
01:07:23,331 --> 01:07:25,323
- A couple more would do it.
- I don't think I'll be much use.

1223
01:07:25,333 --> 01:07:27,416
- My doctors warned me.
- Well you little rat.

1224
01:07:27,418 --> 01:07:30,001
- What about my ulcer?
- Gentlemen, gentlemen!

1225
01:07:30,004 --> 01:07:32,166
Why the sudden cold feet?

1226
01:07:32,173 --> 01:07:34,881
Nobody outside these four walls
is ever likely to learn

1227
01:07:34,884 --> 01:07:36,625
the facts behind this incident,

1228
01:07:36,636 --> 01:07:38,593
provided, that is,
that we all stick together.

1229
01:07:38,596 --> 01:07:39,928
That's just what
I was gonna say.

1230
01:07:39,931 --> 01:07:41,263
Well if he only needs
two of us...

1231
01:07:41,266 --> 01:07:43,178
- You and Bullen.
- Yeah, what's that?

1232
01:07:43,184 --> 01:07:45,096
- You're not dodging out.
- Nobody's dodging out.

1233
01:07:45,103 --> 01:07:46,890
Well really, Figg,
in my position...

1234
01:07:46,896 --> 01:07:49,229
I'm not leaving anybody behind
who knows what the game is.

1235
01:07:49,232 --> 01:07:50,939
But you can't expect
the Mayor of Sandcastle

1236
01:07:50,942 --> 01:07:52,183
to put to seas a dredger head.

1237
01:07:52,193 --> 01:07:53,855
If you don't go,
I'm certainly not going.

1238
01:07:57,407 --> 01:07:59,399
What I say goes!

1239
01:08:17,635 --> 01:08:21,299
I think it's perfectly lovely,
don't you agree, Captain?

1240
01:08:21,306 --> 01:08:23,969
- The belle of the ball.
- Thank you, Captain.

1241
01:08:23,975 --> 01:08:26,763
I'm afraid I haven't worn it
very much lately.

1242
01:08:26,769 --> 01:08:29,227
Mr. Thomas rode me ashore
to get it.

1243
01:08:29,230 --> 01:08:30,812
Rode you ashore?

1244
01:08:30,815 --> 01:08:33,307
- Don't you suffer?
- Suffer?

1245
01:08:33,318 --> 01:08:34,980
Oh, from seasickness?

1246
01:08:34,986 --> 01:08:36,568
No, I'm fortunate.

1247
01:08:36,571 --> 01:08:38,358
I did once, mind you,
when I was quite a girl,

1248
01:08:38,364 --> 01:08:39,445
but I got over it.

1249
01:08:39,449 --> 01:08:41,156
How?

1250
01:08:41,159 --> 01:08:44,823
Oh, well I suppose
I just grew out of it.

1251
01:08:44,829 --> 01:08:48,948
Oh, you were lucky.

1252
01:08:48,958 --> 01:08:51,701
Oh dear, I nearly let it out.

1253
01:08:51,711 --> 01:08:54,704
It wouldn't do for our customers
to know the cure, would it?

1254
01:08:54,714 --> 01:08:56,455
- The cure?
- Well it cured me.

1255
01:08:56,466 --> 01:08:58,799
Mrs. Barrington, for years,
the best medical brains

1256
01:08:58,801 --> 01:09:00,292
at the disposal
of the admiraltry

1257
01:09:00,303 --> 01:09:02,090
have been trying to find,
without success,

1258
01:09:02,096 --> 01:09:05,089
a cure for seasickness,
and you stand here

1259
01:09:05,099 --> 01:09:06,886
and calmly announce
that you know one?

1260
01:09:06,893 --> 01:09:09,931
Yes, it's really quite simple.

1261
01:09:09,937 --> 01:09:12,600
You just stuff your ears
with cotton wool

1262
01:09:12,607 --> 01:09:14,769
and wear very tight corsets.

1263
01:09:14,776 --> 01:09:16,517
I thought for a moment
you were serious.

1264
01:09:16,527 --> 01:09:21,522
- I am serious, it never fails.
- Tight corsets.

1265
01:09:21,949 --> 01:09:24,692
Anything in sight?

1266
01:09:24,702 --> 01:09:28,946
Ah, see that dot?

1267
01:09:28,956 --> 01:09:30,618
A ship approaching.

1268
01:09:30,625 --> 01:09:33,208
In a moment you'll see her
alter course to avoid us.

1269
01:09:36,631 --> 01:09:40,090
Cutting it a bit fine,
isn't she?

1270
01:09:40,093 --> 01:09:41,584
Any moment now.

1271
01:09:49,018 --> 01:09:50,384
She's going to collide with us!

1272
01:09:50,395 --> 01:09:55,140
Come, come.

1273
01:09:55,191 --> 01:09:57,524
She has collided with us.

1274
01:09:57,527 --> 01:10:00,770
- I didn't feel any shock.
- No collision.

1275
01:10:00,780 --> 01:10:04,239
It's a small craft
passing under the pier.

1276
01:10:04,242 --> 01:10:07,451
In a moment you'll see her
come out on the other side.

1277
01:10:16,003 --> 01:10:18,746
She sunk!

1278
01:10:18,756 --> 01:10:21,749
Look, sir.

1279
01:10:24,929 --> 01:10:26,966
Ladies and gentlemen,
will you excuse me?

1280
01:10:26,973 --> 01:10:28,839
Steward, look after my guests.

1281
01:10:28,850 --> 01:10:30,432
Number One, come with me.

1282
01:10:45,241 --> 01:10:48,075
Figg's dredger!

1283
01:10:48,077 --> 01:10:51,696
What the blazes
does he think he's doing?

1284
01:10:51,706 --> 01:10:53,072
Look, sir!

1285
01:11:01,966 --> 01:11:03,582
Clear away boats for launching.

1286
01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:05,710
- Aye, aye, sir.
- Need a boarding party.

1287
01:11:05,720 --> 01:11:08,463
- You and Duckworth.
- Sir, but...

1288
01:11:08,473 --> 01:11:11,307
But you'll take command, sir?

1289
01:11:11,309 --> 01:11:12,925
I'm afraid not.

1290
01:11:12,935 --> 01:11:14,722
You carry on, Number One.

1291
01:11:28,075 --> 01:11:31,068
All hands!

1292
01:11:31,078 --> 01:11:32,159
Excuse me.

1293
01:11:33,831 --> 01:11:35,948
There's no cause for alarm,
you're all quite safe.

1294
01:11:35,958 --> 01:11:37,494
Excuse me, please.

1295
01:12:27,093 --> 01:12:29,426
Gentlemen.

1296
01:12:29,428 --> 01:12:31,761
Gentlemen, I am about to
engage the enemy.

1297
01:12:42,817 --> 01:12:44,149
Let up.

1298
01:12:44,151 --> 01:12:45,858
Number one,
I'm taking command.

1299
01:12:45,862 --> 01:12:47,694
Aye, aye, sir!

1300
01:12:47,697 --> 01:12:50,940
- What, come out of there!
- Let 'em be.

1301
01:12:50,950 --> 01:12:53,067
This is a job for small craft.

1302
01:12:53,077 --> 01:12:55,820
Mr. Duckworth, fetch an axe...
Number One, follow me.

1303
01:12:55,830 --> 01:12:58,994
Captain, one moment.

1304
01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:00,992
This is no time for jokes,
ma'am.

1305
01:13:01,002 --> 01:13:05,588
Breathe in.

1306
01:13:05,590 --> 01:13:09,334
It's not as good as a corset,
but it'll have to do.

1307
01:13:09,343 --> 01:13:10,754
Wait.

1308
01:13:12,638 --> 01:13:15,631
Useless, I've tried
all the drugs there are.

1309
01:13:15,641 --> 01:13:18,054
Not drugs...

1310
01:13:18,060 --> 01:13:19,642
Plugs.

1311
01:13:23,649 --> 01:13:25,481
There.

1312
01:13:25,484 --> 01:13:27,225
Good luck, Captain.

1313
01:13:27,236 --> 01:13:30,900
I shall do my duty, ma'am,
to the best of my disability.

1314
01:13:36,495 --> 01:13:39,158
Now go forward.

1315
01:13:39,165 --> 01:13:41,703
All gone forward!

1316
01:13:41,709 --> 01:13:44,122
- Helm amidships.
- Helm amidships!

1317
01:13:44,128 --> 01:13:47,496
- Slow astern.
- Slow astern!

1318
01:13:56,057 --> 01:13:58,515
- Stop engines.
- Stop engines!

1319
01:14:11,447 --> 01:14:13,234
It works!

1320
01:14:16,410 --> 01:14:18,197
- Form line ahead.
- Form line ahead!

1321
01:14:18,204 --> 01:14:19,536
- Port wheel.
- Port wheel!

1322
01:14:19,538 --> 01:14:21,905
- Full speed ahead.
- Full speed ahead!

1323
01:14:38,849 --> 01:14:40,966
Go astern down and try again!

1324
01:14:40,977 --> 01:14:43,264
We'll do it next time!

1325
01:15:05,376 --> 01:15:06,912
Get over!

1326
01:15:34,655 --> 01:15:36,487
Enemy in sight, sir!

1327
01:15:36,532 --> 01:15:38,945
Quite all right, thank you,
never felt better.

1328
01:15:38,951 --> 01:15:42,444
Duckworth, take your ship in
and destroy the halter.

1329
01:15:42,455 --> 01:15:45,243
Take independent action,
execute!

1330
01:16:00,431 --> 01:16:02,172
It's coming!

1331
01:16:05,019 --> 01:16:07,636
They're after us!

1332
01:16:07,646 --> 01:16:09,603
They mustn't find me here...
cut loose!

1333
01:16:09,607 --> 01:16:11,644
Get rid of the halter!

1334
01:16:11,650 --> 01:16:14,814
No, no, leave that,
I'll fix them!

1335
01:16:32,338 --> 01:16:34,625
Dig those crazy sugar tongs.

1336
01:16:42,807 --> 01:16:44,844
Come and get me!

1337
01:16:44,850 --> 01:16:46,807
Mad hopper!

1338
01:16:56,862 --> 01:16:59,605
Here I am, Figg, do your worst!

1339
01:17:12,586 --> 01:17:14,373
Look!

1340
01:17:14,380 --> 01:17:16,372
They're cutting the halter!

1341
01:17:35,317 --> 01:17:36,558
Got him!

1342
01:17:38,904 --> 01:17:40,566
- Where is he?
- Give him time...

1343
01:17:40,573 --> 01:17:42,485
what goes down must come up.

1344
01:17:42,491 --> 01:17:45,279
- What's the matter?
- He hasn't come up yet.

1345
01:17:45,286 --> 01:17:47,994
Look.

1346
01:17:47,997 --> 01:17:49,829
We've drowned him.

1347
01:17:57,089 --> 01:17:58,250
What's the idea
of leaving the wheel?

1348
01:17:58,257 --> 01:17:59,543
We've lost steerage way.

1349
01:17:59,550 --> 01:18:01,257
- There's no sign of him.
- We've killed him.

1350
01:18:01,260 --> 01:18:02,421
- We'll swing for this.
- Shut up!

1351
01:18:02,428 --> 01:18:04,260
Ahoy!

1352
01:18:04,263 --> 01:18:05,799
Come up, blast ya.

1353
01:18:05,806 --> 01:18:07,468
Strike your colors, gentlemen!

1354
01:18:11,937 --> 01:18:14,395
Figg, you scoundrel,
let go that halter.

1355
01:18:18,402 --> 01:18:19,643
No, you don't!

1356
01:18:25,409 --> 01:18:27,071
Navy's here!

1357
01:18:34,251 --> 01:18:36,288
Keep 'em there, Number One!

1358
01:19:04,949 --> 01:19:06,406
That's it!

1359
01:19:06,408 --> 01:19:07,774
Now!

1360
01:19:15,125 --> 01:19:16,241
Hurry up, sir!

1361
01:19:16,252 --> 01:19:18,335
They're getting impatient!

1362
01:19:37,398 --> 01:19:39,060
Now!

1363
01:19:39,066 --> 01:19:42,935
- Get with it, daddy-o!
- Grab, man, grab!

1364
01:20:58,062 --> 01:21:01,305
Thomas, make a signal,
four prisoners awaiting custody.

1365
01:21:01,315 --> 01:21:02,431
Aye, aye, sir.

1366
01:21:09,615 --> 01:21:12,904
- Well done, Captain.
- Thank you very much.

1367
01:21:12,910 --> 01:21:14,947
- Well done.
- Thank you, thank you.

1368
01:21:14,953 --> 01:21:16,740
Captain.

1369
01:21:16,747 --> 01:21:19,455
I think the time has come
to splice the mainbrace.

1370
01:21:19,458 --> 01:21:21,745
An excellent idea.

1371
01:21:21,752 --> 01:21:23,163
Oh look!

1372
01:21:26,173 --> 01:21:27,709
I hope it's not an omen.

1373
01:21:33,263 --> 01:21:35,050
I'm afraid it is.

1374
01:21:35,057 --> 01:21:38,676
Everybody off,
as quickly as you can, please.

1375
01:22:31,029 --> 01:22:32,520
Here we are, sir.

1376
01:22:32,531 --> 01:22:34,272
Your boat, Number One.

1377
01:22:34,283 --> 01:22:36,024
Oh no, sir, not without you.

1378
01:22:36,034 --> 01:22:39,368
- I shall stay with my ship.
- I'll stay with her too.

1379
01:22:39,371 --> 01:22:42,079
You will take command
of the other half of her.

1380
01:22:42,082 --> 01:22:43,914
That is an order.

1381
01:22:43,959 --> 01:22:48,294
Oh, well, goodbye, sir.

1382
01:22:48,297 --> 01:22:50,129
And good luck.

1383
01:22:50,132 --> 01:22:52,465
Goodbye, Number One.

1384
01:23:37,721 --> 01:23:40,714
Ahoy there!

1385
01:23:40,724 --> 01:23:42,886
Ahoy!

1386
01:23:46,230 --> 01:23:49,439
Stand by to receive a line!

1387
01:23:49,441 --> 01:23:54,436
We will take you in tow!

1388
01:23:54,530 --> 01:23:58,740
Nobody claim salvage on my ship!

1389
01:25:54,650 --> 01:25:59,315
And that, I fear, gentlemen,
is the end of the rum.

1390
01:25:59,321 --> 01:26:01,813
- Ahh.
- Ahh.