1
00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:04,638
Do you never tire of it?

2
00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:06,207
Screw this. I'm flying.

3
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,242
Who's with me? Bat!

4
00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:10,378
He doesn't have the address,
so, you know...

5
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:12,113
I don't have the address.

6
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:14,548
Vampires love virgins.

7
00:00:14,582 --> 00:00:16,250
It's their favorite food.

8
00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:18,386
And, um, I've managed
to find a group

9
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:21,389
with an extremely high ratio
of virgins.

10
00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:23,324
So, LARPing,
as you probably know,

11
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,559
stands for
Live Action Role-Playing.

12
00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:27,161
You will give me the scroll,

13
00:00:27,195 --> 00:00:29,597
or you will taste the wrath
of my pike.

14
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:30,931
Some people think that

15
00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:32,733
we kind of mix up reality.

16
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:34,168
Don't worry, we're well aware.

17
00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:36,770
Um, we know it isn't real.

18
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,372
No, it's real.

19
00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:39,607
Yeah.

20
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,909
Roll for intimidation.

21
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:44,445
Negative for intimidation.

22
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:46,046
Roll again.

23
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,750
Well, obviously they are
all virgins, so good work there.

24
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:51,552
Thank you, Master.

25
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:54,855
Shh! Guillermo!
You'll spook the virgins!

26
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,657
Your accent!

27
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,427
- I will join.
- One.

28
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:00,861
- I will join.
- Two.

29
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,130
Yes!

30
00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:03,764
Jenelf has volunteered, sire.

31
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:07,468
No. Jenelf has
but 23 hit points.

32
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,479
- You still have enough points.
- All who agree Jenelf

33
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:12,473
does not have enough points
to come on the quest, say "aye."

34
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:13,774
Aye.

35
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,476
Aye.

36
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,478
Why do they ignore
the little female one?

37
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,480
Perhaps it is part
of their game.

38
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,649
They pretend she's invisible?

39
00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:23,217
You call this
a sojourner's tavern?

40
00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:25,653
Your mead tastes
like griffin piss.

41
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:29,423
I don't want these virgins.

42
00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:31,559
They are going to taste too sad.

43
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,170
- Come on.
- Let's just eat the mean one.

44
00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:34,962
No, I know what
you're bloody like.

45
00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:36,940
If you eat the mean one, you're
gonna be mean all evening.

46
00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:38,799
No, thank you.
This is a bowl of rotten fruit!

47
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:41,635
All right, I think you need
to calm down, my beauty.

48
00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:43,971
- Coming?
- In a moment.

49
00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:47,975
- Sorry, Jen.
- Sorry.

50
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,080
Be strong, sweet little one.

51
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,183
Someday they will all be dead,

52
00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:58,018
and you will do a shit
on all of their graves.

53
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:06,074
Support us and become VIP member 
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

54
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,558
Recently,
we've had a very powerful

55
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:41,229
and ancient vampire move
into the house, and it's

56
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:42,863
made things a little...

57
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,398
challenging.

58
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:48,402
The Baron has charged us
with the task

59
00:02:48,436 --> 00:02:51,004
of taking power
over the New World.

60
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:53,474
He expected us to have conquered
the New World,

61
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,509
but I don't remember him
ever mentioning it.

62
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:57,077
I just remembered,

63
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:59,480
the last time me and the Baron
were making love,

64
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,882
he said something to me.

65
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:04,585
"If you ever get
to the New World, my dear,

66
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:07,020
"take over the land and
subjugate the entire population,

67
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:08,756
otherwise I'll have your head."

68
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,591
But I couldn't pay attention,

69
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:13,661
because he was doing that thing
where he pays a lot of attention

70
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,162
- to your area.
- His thing is,

71
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,698
he's got this irritating habit
of giving you orders

72
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,567
just at the moment of climax.

73
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,035
So you're both there
in the moment, and then...

74
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:24,572
he barks an order,
and you're, "What?"

75
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:26,540
"what?"

76
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:28,409
Nothing.

77
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:29,710
"I beg your pardon?"

78
00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,279
; "What are you saying?"

79
00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:33,281
And he never repeats
what he said.

80
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:36,617
Expects you to have listened,
during the climax.

81
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:40,087
So I guess we conquering
the New World now.

82
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,292
Extend arm... and dust.

83
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:46,026
Careful of the spider house.

84
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,762
You wouldn't like it
if a spider came and dusted

85
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:51,198
- your house, would you, Guillermo?
- Guess not.

86
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,068
The worst part about having

87
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:57,638
the Baron stay with us
is the Baron's familiar.

88
00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:00,040
She's so... creepy.

89
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:05,212
She's got everyone on edge,
popping up behind doors,

90
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,914
behind bushes.

91
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:09,116
She can hear everything we say.

92
00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:10,918
Everything.

93
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:16,056
She's worse than Guillermo.

94
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,292
Always there.

95
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,599
- Why the hell are we meeting in the fancy...
- Shh!

96
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:28,836
Why are we meeting in the fancy
room and not in the library?

97
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,971
Because this is
a secret meeting.

98
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,807
All secret meetings take place
in the fancy room.

99
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,358
Do you want to pull the curtains
a little bit louder?

100
00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:42,416
It got stuck.

101
00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:44,418
- Sorry?
- It got stuck.

102
00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:48,756
Now, the Baron's specific plan

103
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,324
was that we are to conquer.

104
00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:51,959
- North America.
- He actually said,

105
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:55,262
- "the New World."
- No, he specified Staten Island.

106
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,531
No, the entirety
of North America.

107
00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:58,832
Then that would include Canada.

108
00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:00,668
What the fuck
would anyone want with Canada?

109
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:03,337
Apparently, there is
a very active trade

110
00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:04,838
in beaver pelts.

111
00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:06,383
That was hundreds
of years ago, Master.

112
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:07,675
Guillermo, don't talk.

113
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,276
Where was I? Yes.

114
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,145
We need a plan
for total domination.

115
00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:15,516
We could poison the humans'
milks with witch's piss.

116
00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:18,386
- How would that work?
- We could assassinate the king.

117
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,854
- We don't have a king in America.
- Even easier.

118
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,523
This is too much to ask.

119
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,825
What a big bloody cheeky jerk,
coming here,

120
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,736
telling us to take over
the whole of Staten Island

121
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,563
just by ourselves,
while I bet he's having

122
00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,508
a lovely bloody nap up there!
I hope he's resting well!

123
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,200
You want me
to come sing you a lullaby?!

124
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:35,135
- Nadja, no.
- Silly boy. Nadja, don't...

125
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,580
- don't raise your voice.
- That's very risky.

126
00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:38,238
- Woof!
- Shh! We are not alone

127
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,240
in this house.

128
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:42,075
Guillermo, check the curtain.

129
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:44,678
Make sure she
is not eavesdropping on us.

130
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,982
Hello.

131
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,151
I was just eavesdropping
behind the curtain there.

132
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,520
Secret meeting?

133
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:54,154
No.

134
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,699
What were you guys
talking about? Can I join?

135
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,157
No. So sorry.

136
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,026
We're planning your, um...

137
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:01,395
- surprise party.
- Yeah.

138
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,230
A surprise party?

139
00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:06,867
Well, it's not much
of a surprise now, is it?

140
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,603
You know,
if-if the fun part of the party

141
00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:12,239
is that it's a surprise,

142
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:14,341
and you eliminate...

143
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,844
all element of surprise,

144
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:19,747
then it just becomes
a party, right?

145
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,248
So, tell me

146
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,451
what's really going on,
because, frankly...

147
00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:25,385
Let's be honest...
You've never even thought

148
00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:27,087
of throwing a party for me,

149
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,723
- have you?
- The Baron wants us

150
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,592
to take over the land,

151
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:34,795
- at least Staten Island.
- Well, it sounds like you want

152
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,797
to talk to the local leaders.

153
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,098
- Yeah.
- Yes.

154
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:39,767
Okay, well,
I-I can help with that.

155
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,769
- You can?
- I know exactly who you need

156
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:43,771
- to talk to and where to go.
- Show us the way,

157
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,305
Colin Robinson.

158
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:47,641
Let our journey
to total domination

159
00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:50,343
begin this very evening!

160
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,917
Perhaps you could just give us
the destination,

161
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,753
and we could fly ahead and meet
you there, Colin Robinson.

162
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:02,389
It's kind of hard to find.

163
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,825
You know, I actually don't mind

164
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:07,060
taking the bus.

165
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,662
Everyone kind of focuses on

166
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:11,999
the "day" part of "daywalker,"

167
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:15,903
but actually, no one focuses
on the "walker" part.

168
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,305
You know,
there's a lot of walking...

169
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:20,107
Bat.

170
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,679
They're never gonna be able
to find the place.

171
00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:27,615
Of course,
you can always have buses

172
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,817
that are one-tier, two-tier,

173
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,852
but you never see
three-tier buses.

174
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:34,555
They would be hit
when they go under bridges.

175
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:40,293
I appreciate,
your perspective, Mr. Chapman,

176
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:42,095
but the zoning ordinance...

177
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:44,998
These are the ones who
rule over the local peasants?

178
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:47,968
- Yes. Isn't this wonderful?
- No.

179
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,169
Is it a wrestling pit?

180
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,204
No. No. Just-just watch.

181
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,507
- But when does the wrestling start?
- Never.

182
00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:56,009
You're recognized, Mr. Peterson.

183
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:57,954
According to the statute,
if Mr. Chapman's residence

184
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,547
was originally zoned

185
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,015
as a mixed-use or
multiple-dwelling structure...

186
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:03,517
I come here every week.

187
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:06,453
It's a smorgasbord of...
banality and despair.

188
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,488
Mr. Robinson? You're next up.

189
00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:10,962
- Is Mr. Robinson here?
- I'm just gonna do a quick mega-feed,

190
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,325
and then I'll be right back.

191
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:13,994
Mr. Robinson, are you here?

192
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,463
I'm holding up a finger
indicating to hold on a second.

193
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,731
I'll be right back.

194
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:19,667
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

195
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:31,378
Council. Madam President.

196
00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:33,213
When it comes
to zoning ordinances,

197
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,415
I have a few thoughts.

198
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,685
"Ordinance." What does it mean?

199
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:39,687
Webster's Unabridged Dictionary

200
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,922
defines "ordinance"
as an "authoritative..."

201
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:44,758
We will here demand our power.

202
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,435
We have come up with a list
of all the things

203
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:49,663
we would like to change
once the vampires are in charge.

204
00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:52,766
I'd like to see the construction
of a huge opaque dome

205
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,268
the size of the city,

206
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:59,406
covering the city,
and blocking out all sunlight.

207
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:01,675
No noise during daylight hours.

208
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:05,679
All local churches
to destroy their crucifixes.

209
00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,547
A total ban on turtlenecks.

210
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,549
A vampire-only
television channel.

211
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,118
I would like for me, personally,

212
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,253
my favorite comedy,
Priests Falling Over.

213
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:16,924
Free but compulsory
harpsichord concerts

214
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:18,892
every day of the week.

215
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:21,595
We would have nun-free zones
with a sign that says

216
00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:25,532
"No Nuns. No Nuns. None."

217
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,468
So, in closing,
hopefully next week,

218
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:31,739
I can, provide
a little bit more clarity,

219
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:33,741
as to the direction

220
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:36,610
I feel like,
our zoning laws should go.

221
00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:38,712
Thank you so much.

222
00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:41,081
Thank you, Mr. Robinson.

223
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:42,950
Is Mr.,

224
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,451
Nandor?

225
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,119
Mr. Nandor?

226
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:47,254
Yes.

227
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,956
I got this.

228
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,462
Greetings, mortals.

229
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:56,997
I will make this quick.

230
00:09:57,030 --> 00:10:00,467
I, Nandor the Relentless,

231
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,803
conqueror of thousands,

232
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:04,471
immortal warrior

233
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:07,641
who has twice
turned the Euphrates itself

234
00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:09,476
red with blood,

235
00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:13,681
hereby demand the complete
and total supplication

236
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:17,150
of this governing body
to my command!

237
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:22,322
Submit and receive mercy.

238
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,757
Resist...

239
00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:26,760
and only death awaits.

240
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:34,534
Thank you for your input,
Mr. Nandor...

241
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:35,936
He's blown it.

242
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,538
Hasn't even mentioned
the turtlenecks.

243
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:39,973
To zoning ordinances,

244
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:42,542
but if you would like
to return...

245
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,511
- Yes.
- When we have a...

246
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:47,514
Yes, I would very much like
to-to return then.

247
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:49,116
- When we have an open session,
- Great.

248
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,718
You are entirely welcome
to join.

249
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:52,953
Fantastic. Great.
When would that be?

250
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,287
In about two months.

251
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:57,124
But if you access our website...

252
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,391
Do you have a computer?

253
00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:00,127
That will be the perfect time

254
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,570
- for you to speak.
- Great. Fantastic.

255
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,196
I live on Tanglewood,

256
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:05,899
and the bar on the ground floor
below my apartment...

257
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:08,635
- How best to describe Nandor?
- I would say that

258
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,805
he's blessedly unburdened
with the complications

259
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:14,007
of a university education.

260
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:17,377
But give him an ax,
and he's second to none.

261
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,913
Though you wouldn't want him
as your barrister.

262
00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:21,681
Ha!

263
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,917
Don't let him fucking see this.

264
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,822
So, their leader
is the Lazarro shrew?

265
00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:30,257
Correct.

266
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,760
Where lies
Barbara Lazarro's weakest point?

267
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,361
Her Achilles' heel?

268
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,696
So it's her foot?
Well, that's simple.

269
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:39,699
- I know exactly what to do.
- I meant in Greek mythology,

270
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,701
there's a human
who's held by his...

271
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,603
Stop talking. Who would you say

272
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:46,406
is the most powerful member
of that group?

273
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:47,941
Well, Ms. Lazarro.
But Doug Peterson

274
00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:50,610
is looking to unseat her
in the upcoming election.

275
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,179
Some people think
he has a chance.

276
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,047
- The streak of piss with a case?
- Yeah.

277
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:57,217
Shall we kill him as a warning?

278
00:11:57,250 --> 00:12:00,287
No. Let's use him as a pawn,

279
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,023
but then I will visit
Barbara Lazarro

280
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,759
- under cover of night.
- Yeah!

281
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,595
Where's Nadja?

282
00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:13,466
Hello, cheeky little one.

283
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,936
Out having some fun, are we?

284
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:19,206
- Not really.
- No.

285
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,941
I remember how it feels

286
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:22,810
to be powerless
and disrespected.

287
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:26,046
Back home in my village,
I had many strikes against me.

288
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:29,716
I was a woman, and I had Gypsy
blood, and we were so poor

289
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,419
that we used to use
donkey dung for fuel,

290
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,421
and when the donkey dung
ran out,

291
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,790
we would have to burn
the donkey.

292
00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:39,392
So yes, I do know
what it feels like

293
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,394
to be mocked and teased

294
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,563
and to cry myself to sleep
at night

295
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,066
by the light
of a burning donkey.

296
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,935
Are those little dogshits
not giving you

297
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:49,970
the deep respect you deserve?

298
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,939
Yeah.

299
00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:55,943
Come. Let's walk and talk about
what the future could be like

300
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:58,678
for the new Jenna.

301
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:01,348
Now, my plan is to win
the trust of Barbara Lazarro.

302
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:02,615
Am I devious?

303
00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:04,351
Yes, I think I am.

304
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,086
But as the old saying goes,

305
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,655
I didn't come here
to make friends.

306
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:10,123
That's bullshit.

307
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:12,159
That's exactly
what I came here to do.

308
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:14,962
- Yes?
- Good evening, Madam Lazarro.

309
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:17,597
My name is Laszlo Cravensworth.

310
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:18,932
And who do we have here?

311
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:21,168
I'm watching my little
granddaughter for the night.

312
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,670
What a lovely little nibble
she would be.

313
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:26,273
I'm sorry, do I know you?

314
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,474
Well, you do now.

315
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:29,509
And may I say you are a credit

316
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,811
to the women's
suffragette movement.

317
00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:34,948
And you're also
very easy on the eye.

318
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,716
And I'm glad to see
your foot injury

319
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,351
- isn't slowing you down.
- My what?

320
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:39,486
Your foot.

321
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:42,956
Now, I come to you
with a warning.

322
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:46,159
Those who you trust
cannot be trusted.

323
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:48,504
- But I am here to help you with that.
- Now, if-if this is

324
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:52,299
borough council-related,
I have regular office hours.

325
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:56,503
If there is a stone,
so to speak, in your shoe

326
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:59,206
that needs eliminating...

327
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:02,242
I-I mean, the... the raccoon
population is out of control.

328
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:06,013
Saw three of them in my
garbage can this morning. Three.

329
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:09,749
- It's a nightmare.
- Really? I do like a direct woman.

330
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,887
You know, I...

331
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:18,158
I really do have
to get Emily here, um,

332
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,893
bathed and washed.

333
00:14:19,927 --> 00:14:22,162
Why don't you,
call my office in the morning,

334
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,431
and I'll... I'll try to see
if I can find someone

335
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:27,267
who can help you with whatever
it is you need help with.

336
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,736
It's not I who needs help,
it's you.

337
00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:31,905
So it's me who's ending
this conversation.

338
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:33,873
Not you.

339
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,375
And...

340
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:38,245
you won't remember
a thing about it.

341
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,380
And, you, my darling,
won't remember a thing

342
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:43,016
about a damn thing.

343
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:45,752
Trying to ally
with Barbara Lazarro

344
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,687
is a shit plan.

345
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,957
The power move here

346
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:54,727
is to make Doug Peterson
my personal agent of chaos.

347
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:56,964
Peterson destroys Lazarro,

348
00:14:56,997 --> 00:15:00,033
Nandor destroys Peterson

349
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:03,903
and the council... is mine.

350
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,876
That's a nice little bitch
you've got there.

351
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,578
Pardon me?

352
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:13,380
A nice little bitch
being led on a leash

353
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,982
by a frightened little man.

354
00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:17,750
It reminds me of how you
are led about on a leash

355
00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:20,820
by the human bitch
Barbara Lazarro.

356
00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:22,098
Look, I don't want
any trouble, okay?

357
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,323
So just take my wallet.

358
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:25,993
I'm not here to rob you,
little man.

359
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:28,661
All right,
let's do it the fast way.

360
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:32,132
Tonight before you drift
into a slumber,

361
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:36,036
you will hear a voice
that will command your actions.

362
00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,505
Okay.

363
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:42,875
Okay. Great.

364
00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:47,347
Is this like
a Tony Robbins, like,

365
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:48,491
Unleash the Power Within thing?

366
00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:51,451
Unleash the power.
Yes, exactly. Yes.

367
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:54,121
You're saying that would help me
sed-seduce men?

368
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:56,023
And destroy them.

369
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:58,958
And women, too.

370
00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,360
Yeah, I-I should be honest.

371
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,862
I have... I have a boyfriend,

372
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:04,197
and we do s-stuff.

373
00:16:04,231 --> 00:16:06,533
I mean, we do stuff on camera

374
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:09,669
because that's...
that's the stuff he likes,

375
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:12,772
and that's the stuff
that he tells me I like.

376
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:16,043
You know what? Just college is,
like, a really complicated time.

377
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,779
This is college, right?

378
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:23,350
Here I am, and this-this
beautiful older woman

379
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:26,153
wants to take me
on a sexual journey.

380
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:27,720
And, like, I...

381
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,156
Are you a junior?
Are you a senior?

382
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,357
I'm senior.

383
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:32,159
Okay.

384
00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:34,061
And you are just a fresh baby

385
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,795
shot out of her mother's womb,

386
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,364
glistening with light.

387
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,567
Thank you.

388
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,902
You're sure you want to do this?

389
00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:44,337
Um...

390
00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:46,339
I should be honest with you.

391
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:48,375
I'm a virgin.

392
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,712
Maybe we should just start

393
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:54,881
- with mouth stuff, if that's okay.
- Yes.

394
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:57,016
Just mouth stuff.

395
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:06,359
Wowie zowie, that is...

396
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:08,328
Shush, darling.
You don't need to talk.

397
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,397
I'm sorry.
I always talk too much.

398
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,866
The Lazarro woman's
demanded proof

399
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,002
of my ability as an ally,

400
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,038
so, here goes.

401
00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:22,275
Hello,
my little nighttime brother.

402
00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:24,311
Fuck me.

403
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,280
Fucking thing just bit me.

404
00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:29,048
But that'll heal immediately.

405
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:30,850
There we are.

406
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,685
Seems I overestimated
our kinship.

407
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,721
I'll have to take things up
a notch.

408
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,242
I call out to you

409
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,610
through the ether,

410
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:59,646
Doug...

411
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:05,084
Peters.

412
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:07,053
Peters?

413
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,789
Peterson. Doug Peterson.

414
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:12,392
I call out to you

415
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:13,893
through the ether,

416
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:17,730
Doug Peterson.

417
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:20,099
- D...
- Did you call me?

418
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:21,434
What?

419
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,636
- I just heard... Did you call me?
- No.

420
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:27,073
I was calling through the ether
to Doug Peterson.

421
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,308
- You're not calling.
- No.

422
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:30,310
If I need anything,
I will call you.

423
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,078
But not through the ether.

424
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,846
Just by regular yelling.

425
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,948
- All right, I'm sorry.
- It's okay.

426
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:38,151
Peterson.

427
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:43,456
Doug Peterson.

428
00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:48,027
Doug Peterson.

429
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:51,998
Do you hear me call you?

430
00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:54,501
I hear you.

431
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:56,102
Great.

432
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,405
Hi, Doug.

433
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:03,476
Now, my sweet
little baby turkey...

434
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,180
I'd like you to drink
something from this vial.

435
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,284
Is it vodka or something?

436
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:14,487
It's like a very strong spirit
with a little spicy kick.

437
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:16,889
Um, it is my blood.

438
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,861
Well, your blood is delicious.

439
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:23,396
Why do they call it blood?

440
00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:25,998
Well, it's...
it is the blood from my body,

441
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:29,035
so I-I call it my blood.

442
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:45,985
I mean, w-we don't know
who was behind this.

443
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:49,256
Is this a gang-related activity?

444
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:52,592
Is-is MS-13 sending a message?

445
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:55,061
I gave you those raccoons
as a bloody gift.

446
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:57,063
This was a clear
and direct threat

447
00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:58,865
to my well-being...

448
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:00,933
They laughed at me.

449
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:03,503
They will not be laughing
now that I am about to unleash

450
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,606
my hellhound Doug Peters...

451
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:08,508
son.

452
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:13,012
And to the safety
of every member of this council.

453
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,947
It's a grim portent
of things to come

454
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:18,217
if we don't surrender,
you ignorant bitch.

455
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:20,420
- Yes, Doug Peterson.
- What?

456
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,922
I will rip your head
from your body.

457
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,091
And I will hang your entrails

458
00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:27,560
from the traffic light
on Hylan Boulevard

459
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:29,228
so our new masters will see

460
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:31,964
that only those who submit
will survive!

461
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,434
Mr. Peterson,
you are way out of order.

462
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:38,104
Heed my vision
before it's too late!

463
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:39,706
I have received a message

464
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,309
from a slouching beast
in the night!

465
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:49,115
- The man is quite obviously mad.
- He spoke to me

466
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:51,148
- through the ether!
- Or someone's driven him mad.

467
00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:54,454
Something terrible is coming!

468
00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:58,166
This is an embarrassment.
Unhand me, you troglodyte!

469
00:20:58,190 --> 00:20:59,726
Well, I did not hear you peep up

470
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,270
when we were coming up
with the new plan.

471
00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:02,829
I was making a new vampire.

472
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,731
- Wait, I'm sorry, what?
- Nothing.

473
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,899
Perhaps we should come up
with a new plan, then.

474
00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:10,570
Vengeance will be mine
when nightmares are made real!

475
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:13,340
- Are you leaving with us?
- No. I-I can't stand up right now,

476
00:21:13,373 --> 00:21:15,475
if you know what I mean.

477
00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:18,311
Tear the fucking veil of
illusion from your eyes!

478
00:21:18,345 --> 00:21:20,513
And witness the hellscape
that is our destiny!

479
00:21:20,547 --> 00:21:23,182
Wh-What was that
about a vampire?

480
00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:27,086
I will tear your balls off
and feed them to your children!

481
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,456
I, um...

482
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:32,692
I've been fighting off
this very intense...

483
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:35,795
flu, I think. I... Um,

484
00:21:35,828 --> 00:21:39,766
'cause I didn't have enough
layers on the other night.

485
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,634
Think it's mono.

486
00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:43,370
No, I don't...

487
00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:45,104
think it's...

488
00:22:34,421 --> 00:22:36,389
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH.

489
00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:40,226
I was awoken

490
00:22:40,259 --> 00:22:42,729
by the most beautiful woman
I had ever seen.

491
00:22:42,762 --> 00:22:45,898
She was clawing at the glass.
I was hypnotized.

492
00:22:45,932 --> 00:22:47,299
I used hypnosis on him.

493
00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:49,936
What We Do in the Shadows,

494
00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:52,972
all new Wednesdays at 1000
on FX.

494
00:22:53,305 --> 00:23:53,215
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