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[theme music playing]
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[announcer] The Adventures of Batman
with Robin, Boy Wonder.
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Batman and Robin, Dynamic Duo
against crime and corruption,
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whose real identities
as millionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne
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and his young ward, Dick Grayson,
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are known only to Alfred,
the faithful butler.
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Ever alert, they respond swiftly
to a signal from the police.
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And moments later, from the secret Batcave
deep beneath Wayne Manor,
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they roar out
to protect life, limb and property
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as Batman and Robin,
caped crime fighters.
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Batman and Robin,
scourge of Gotham City's kooky criminals:
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The Joker, Clown Prince of Crime.
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The Penguin,
pudgy purveyor of perfidy.
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And the cool, cruel Mr. Freeze.
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Watch out, villains,
here come Batman and Robin.
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[tires squealing]
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[narrator] A series of bizarre happenings
occur in the world of sport.
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At a track meet:
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[thuds]
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At the Gotham Country Club
Golf Tournament:
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In the stands, millionaire Bruce Wayne
and his ward, Dick Grayson
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look at one another deeply concerned.
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Dick, this appears
to be the work of The Penguin.
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But why sports events?
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That's what we must find out. Come on.
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All these items are made
by the Emperor Sporting Goods Company.
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Emperor? Well, that figures.
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It does? How?
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What kind of bird
has an Emperor species?
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Why, the penguin.
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- Exactly.
- But what's he up to?
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Let's run it through the Batcomputer
and see what we get.
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[narrator]
At this moment, in The Penguin's nest,
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the feloniously fiendish Penguin
addresses his minions.
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[laughing]
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We've got the Dynamic Duo
hooked now,
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and unless I miss my guess,
they will soon pay me a visit.
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Here, Penguin?
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No. [laughs]
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At the factory. Let's go prepare
to receive them— [laughs]
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—properly.
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[dings]
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Here we go. "A diamond-encrusted
all-around athlete's belt,
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worth a million dollars will be presented
to the new champion tomorrow."
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A million.
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- That must be what The Penguin's after.
- Undoubtedly.
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To the Batmobile.
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[narrator] A short while later,
at the Emperor Sporting Goods Company:
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Now, my sporting birds— [laughs]
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—stand ready for the big game. [laughs]
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- [henchman 1] Sure.
- [henchman 2] Yeah.
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Sorry, Penguin, the game's been called.
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Ow!
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Fly at them, birdbrains.
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Duck, Robin.
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[Robin] He's getting away.
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- Head him off with your Batarang.
- Roger.
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No! Go away!
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Come along, Penguin. You can complain
to the police commissioner.
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And so, knowing The Penguin was plotting
to filch the diamond championship belt.
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But that's impossible, Batman.
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That was just stolen from the safe
not 15 minutes ago.
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[laughing]
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But the clues.
They all point to The Penguin.
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[laughs] Well, Caped Crusaders,
you finally flipped your lids.
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Now I'm going to sue you
for assault and battery and false arrest.
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"Penguin vows to put Batman and Robin
behind bars."
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Is he kidding?
He had to be behind that heist.
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Maybe. But the law says we must prove it.
Say, what's this?
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"Attention, Batman.
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Have you heard
it's raining cats and dogs?"
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What's the gag, Bruce?
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Just that, Dick. An old joke.
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"It's raining cats and dogs.
How do you know?
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I just stepped into a poodle."
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Holy cornball.
Do you think that that's a message from?
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The Joker. Who else?
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[henchman]
Think Batman got the point, Joker?
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Well, if he didn't yet, he will. [laughs]
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[narrator]
Within the next few hours,
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the same joke was brought to the attention
of Batman in a variety of ways.
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"I just stepped into a poodle."
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Same tired old joke.
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And the message, Batman, was:
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"Have you heard the one about
'It's raining cats and dogs'?"
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Thank you, commissioner.
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[man on radio] And this is your old
dog-faced joke-hound, Barry Beagle,
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signing off with a Batman quote,
"'Have you heard the one?""
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Poodle.
Poodles are performing dogs, right?
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Right. Performing dogs.
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The Joker's planning a circus caper.
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Negative, Robin. No circus in town.
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Look, what performer's name
is like a type of dog?
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Barry Beagle, the cornball comic.
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Yes. And hasn't he got
a Peruvian pearl collection
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- worth a fortune?
- [Robin] Check.
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He must be the Joker's pigeon.
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Let's grab the Joker
before he makes off with the pearls.
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The Joker's last known hideout
according to the Batcomputer. Let's go.
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[heroic music playing]
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So the Dynamic Duo has finally arrived
to call on the Joker.
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Do drop in, gentlemen.
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[laughing]
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Get him, my merry men. [laughs]
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Crime is no laughing matter, Joker.
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[grunting]
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Who's laughing now, eh, Joker?
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You'll regret this, Dynamic Duo.
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Let's go, Joker. Maybe you can make
Commissioner Gordon laugh.
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We're charging the Joker
with plotting to steal
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Barry Beagle's
Peruvian pearl collection.
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[phone rings]
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Excuse me, Batman.
Hello? Yes. What?
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You're sure? Yes, of course.
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We'll get on it right away.
That was comedian, Barry Beagle.
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He has just been robbed
of his Peruvian pearl collection.
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- Just now?
- Holy perfect alibi.
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[laughs]
Cowled Crusader, you are in big trouble.
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He's right, Batman. I'm sorry.
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[laughs]
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The Penguin and the Joker
turn the Dynamic Duo— [laughs]
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—into a Dopey Duet. [laughs]
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Gee whiz, Batman, how did we goof?
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Forget it.
I know now what's been going on.
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Batman, you have arrested two men
for crimes they couldn't have committed.
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Oh, but I think they could and did,
commissioner.
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And I'm going to prove it.
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Come on, Robin.
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[narrator]
What does Batman have in mind?
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Can he prove that The Penguin
and the Joker did commit those crimes?
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We'll know in just a few minutes,
so stayed tuned.
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[narrator] Now in the Batcave
beneath stately Wayne Manor,
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Batman reveals to Robin
how they were tricked by their archenemies.
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You see, Robin, the whole thing is based
on each criminals' modus operandi,
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or method of operation.
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Now, Penguin always used umbrellas,
right?
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Right.
And the Joker always uses old jokes.
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Right.
Now, suppose they switched styles, Robin.
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Then we'd be chasing the wrong man
each time.
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Correct, again, chum.
So they could each be guilty
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but of the other villain's crime, right?
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Holy switcheroo. How do we prove it?
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I've got a plan. To the Batmobile.
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[laughing]
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Here, old bird buddy.
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Here is the diamond belt I stole for you.
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And here is Buddy Beagle's priceless
Peruvian pearl collection
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I stole for you. [laughs]
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[laughing]
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Beautiful.
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Joker, my friend,
tune in the TV newscast.
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I'd love to hear
how we baffled the Dynamic Duo.
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[laughs] You mean the Dopey Duet.
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According to a report just handed me
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the diamonds
and the stolen championship belt
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are completely worthless. Imitations.
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So whoever stole it
got absolutely nothing for his trouble.
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Can that be true?
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[laughing]
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I guess it is. [laughs]
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By this time, those two villains
must be at each other's throat.
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Yes. I hope we get to them
before they do each other in.
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Let's go.
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You stole the phony diamonds,
you smirking simpleton.
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I want the pearls back.
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That wasn't our bargain, birdbrain.
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You wanted the belt. [laughs]
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I'll belt you, you white-faced weasel.
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They're both there.
We'd better hurry before it's too late.
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- Check.
- Have a squirt, squirt.
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A squirt of tear gas. [laughs]
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Laugh, clown, laugh,
but don't mind if I cut in.
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You waddling dum-dum.
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I substituted a rubber knife for the real one
I know you keep in your umbrella. See?
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[coughing]
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Gas!
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And I substituted your rubber knife
for one with poison gas in its handle
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you punchy Punchinello.
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[thuds]
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- [Robin] Look, The Penguin's getting away.
- We'll get him later.
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We'd better take the Joker to the hospital.
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We were following you, Batman.
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We'll take the crook to the hospital
for you.
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Good thinking, citizen. Thank you.
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And now let's go for The Penguin.
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Your clock has run out, Penguin.
You're finished.
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Time for just one more play, Batman,
and the ball's in my court.
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[narrator] Recovered from the effects
of the electric shock,
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Batman and Robin are each shackled
to a home plate in a batter's practice cage,
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while the perfidious Penguin loads balls
into an automatic pitcher.
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[laughing]
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I only stunned you to save you
for this exquisite moment, Dynamic Duo.
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That batting cage behind you
is really electrical wiring.
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Buried directly
under each home plate beneath you,
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is a ton of TNT
wired directly to the batting cage.
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If you miss one ball thrown
by these automatic pitchers,
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it will make contact with the cage,
and bloo-ee!
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[laughing]
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00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:49,292
Your final strike out.
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00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:52,045
Holy base hit, what a scurvy stunt.
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I always thought you were a foul ball,
Penguin.
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[Penguin] A bat for Batman— [laughs]
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—and one for the Boy Wonder.
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Happy hitting.
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00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,014
Batters up.
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00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,147
Sooner or later, one of you will miss.
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And in this game,
one strike and you're out.
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Farewell. [laughs]
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00:12:17,446 --> 00:12:20,741
Don't try for power. Just meet the ball.
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Can't keep up much longer.
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Holy fastball.
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00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:33,295
Robin, drive one into machine now.
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00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:39,468
Good hit. Now let's get out
of these shackles and go after Penguin.
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00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:43,638
[phone rings]
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00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:46,057
- For you, Batman.
- Thank you, commissioner.
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00:12:46,141 --> 00:12:47,350
[laughing]
217
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:52,731
Thank you, Batman, for delivering me
to my own getaway ambulance.
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00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,316
Your ambulance, Joker?
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00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,151
Sure. [laughs]
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00:12:56,443 --> 00:13:01,323
And have the fat little fellow
check that bag of pearls too. [laughs]
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00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:03,200
Fakes! Phonies!
222
00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:06,119
That rotten no-good crook tricked me.
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00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:10,415
The new superhighway construction site,
right, Batman?
224
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You saw the red clay
on the ambulance tires too, Robin?
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All mine! [laughs]
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00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:18,507
What's that?
227
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:19,841
Oh, no.
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Oh, yes.
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Go on. Make us laugh, Joker.
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00:13:26,348 --> 00:13:28,058
[Joker laughing]
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00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,893
Which one shall I pick?
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00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:33,313
Stand back. I'm going to release
the shovel flap with a Bat-Grenade.
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[grunting]
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[Robin laughs] Joker, you're a scream.
235
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:47,661
Congratulations, Dynamic Duo,
you did it again.
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00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:51,164
Thanks, commissioner. Did you fix
Joker and Penguin as I suggested?
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00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:54,167
Exactly, Batman. Come, I'll show you.
238
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,254
It's all The Penguin's fault.
239
00:13:57,546 --> 00:14:00,507
I never wanna see
that bird-brained buzzard again.
240
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:05,345
That double-crossing, pitiful,
road-company Pagliacci. He did this to me.
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00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:09,099
Unfunny, witless, slapstick, bungling.
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00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,351
[all laughing]
243
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:15,021
This has got to be the funniest comedy act
I've ever seen.
244
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:24,531
[narrator] Returning from a charity ball,
Batman and Robin, in true identities,
245
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,825
drive through Gotham Park,
when suddenly:
246
00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:28,201
[tree branches cracking]
247
00:14:28,285 --> 00:14:29,369
Watch out, Bruce.
248
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:30,871
[tires squeal]
249
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:32,706
[mischievous music playing]
250
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:36,793
Well, if it ain't millionaire Bruce Wayne.
251
00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:38,879
And his ward, Dick Grayson.
252
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,130
What do you men want?
253
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,632
Can't you guess, moneybags?
254
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:44,759
[Penguin chuckling]
255
00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:50,807
You will not succeed this time,
my fine-feathered finks. [laughs]
256
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:51,808
The Penguin.
257
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:54,811
- Take that,
- Unh!
258
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:57,981
- and that,
- [thugs grunting and yelling]
259
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:00,066
and that.
260
00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:01,735
[chuckles]
261
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:04,571
- [Dick] They're finished.
- [Bruce] Thanks to the Penguin.
262
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:05,906
But I don't get it.
263
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:08,366
Since when did you start
catching crooks?
264
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:15,582
Mr. Wayne, I am a reformed man
making amends for past misdeeds.
265
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:18,919
And what better way to do it
than by aiding the doves of law
266
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:22,756
against the hawks of crime. [chuckles]
267
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:25,175
That oily bird must be up to something.
268
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,260
Yes. But what?
269
00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:30,805
To the nearest jail, if you please,
Mr. Wayne.
270
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:40,607
[narrator] A short while later,
in their crime-fighting costumes,
271
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:43,568
the Dynamic Duo speeds
to Central Police Headquarters,
272
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:47,072
where they hear a startling report
from Commissioner Gordon.
273
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:48,865
It's true, Batman.
274
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:52,118
- The Penguin has gone straight.
- Incredible.
275
00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:55,288
Why, this past week alone,
he's aided my men three times.
276
00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:58,500
Can you believe,
the Penguin on our side?
277
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,126
Let's wait and see, Robin.
278
00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:02,629
I still don't trust
that mischievous magpie.
279
00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:05,840
[narrator]
But in the days that follow…
280
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:09,803
Halt, you thieving vultures.
281
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:12,764
Don't shoot, Penguin. We surrender.
282
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:21,106
A little oil should slow your flight.
283
00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:22,774
[thieves yell]
284
00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:29,155
He's all yours, masked man hunters.
285
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:30,532
Thanks again, Penguin.
286
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,285
Well? What do you think now, Batman?
287
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:36,955
Somehow, I'm still not convinced.
288
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:41,126
But if the Penguin's pulling a hoax,
what's he really up to?
289
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:46,047
[narrator] The answer lies in the Penguin's
secret nest outside Gotham City.
290
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,633
I don't get it, Penguin.
291
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:52,137
All those captured cons
are working for you?
292
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:57,142
Precisely. And each is carrying
a tiny chicken feather like this one.
293
00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:59,477
Once inside Gotham Pen,
294
00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:03,481
they will spring some of the world's
greatest criminals,
295
00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:07,610
who will then join forces with me.
296
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,112
[chuckles]
297
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:12,615
Boy, Penguin, you are a genius.
298
00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:17,746
[narrator] Meanwhile, in the secret Batcave
beneath stately Wayne Manor:
299
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:21,833
I sure hope the Batcomputer
can tell us something, Batman.
300
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:24,127
Fed statistics on all Penguin's captives,
301
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:26,671
it should give us some clue
to his real motive.
302
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:29,924
[narrator] Now, behind the grim walls
of Gotham Penitentiary,
303
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:33,344
an inmate flashes a silent signal.
304
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:35,513
Time to move.
305
00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:37,682
- The Penguin's feather.
- Yeah.
306
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:40,935
He said to snap off the point
and jam it in the lock.
307
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:47,317
You were right.
Those thugs all have one thing in common.
308
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,819
Right. They're all jailbreak specialists.
309
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:52,155
So that's the Penguin's game.
310
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,491
Let's go, Robin, to Gotham Penitentiary.
311
00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:59,829
[alarm wailing]
312
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:02,082
Move fast before the guards recover.
313
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:07,504
Hold it. Look up ahead. The Batmobile.
314
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,301
[Batman] Work fast, Robin.
315
00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:15,970
[inmates grunting and yelling]
316
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:19,516
- [inmate] Help!
- Here come the guards.
317
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,770
Batman, look,
one of them's getting away.
318
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:27,899
Good. He's the one who's going
to lead us to the Penguin's hideout.
319
00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:36,282
You cuckoo bird.
How stupid do you think Batman is?
320
00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:38,993
But I made sure he wasn't following me.
321
00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:40,954
[Penguin] Sparrow head.
322
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:44,624
Who do you think planted
this radar transmitter on you?
323
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:45,792
[transmitter beeping]
324
00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:52,298
The radar's picking up the impulses
from the transmitter, Batman.
325
00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:54,968
[Batman]
Excellent. That means we're zeroing in.
326
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,719
Everybody out.
327
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,681
I'll still have the last cackle on Batman.
328
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:00,974
[chuckles]
329
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:02,684
[beeping]
330
00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:05,812
[Robin] We're almost there.
331
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:07,897
- Reduce altitude and hover.
- Roger.
332
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:12,735
[suspenseful music playing]
333
00:19:17,574 --> 00:19:19,993
Odd. The place is empty.
334
00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:22,078
[Penguin chuckles]
335
00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:26,332
You stepped right into my trap, Batman.
336
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:27,834
[Robin] Holy tight spot.
337
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:31,004
The Penguin's nest, it's closing.
338
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:35,008
The strands, solid steel, can't budge them.
339
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,051
[Penguin chuckles]
340
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:41,681
A deal, Batman.
Agree never to pursue me again,
341
00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:43,600
and I free you.
342
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:47,228
Otherwise, I leave you
to be crushed to death.
343
00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:51,232
Robin, come down.
Blast strands with afterburners. Hurry.
344
00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:53,401
Move back. Here I come.
345
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:56,404
[Penguin]
What's the Boy Wonder up to?
346
00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:03,745
The cross strands, they're melting.
347
00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:13,922
Batman's free. We must get out of here.
348
00:20:14,005 --> 00:20:16,007
[theme music playing]
349
00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:30,772
Why are they passing over us?
350
00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:34,025
Got to aim this Batarang just right.
351
00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:37,445
[Penguin] Ah! A steel cable?
352
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,447
Ah! Let go.
353
00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:42,116
Release me. This instant.
354
00:20:42,617 --> 00:20:45,245
We'll have to find the Penguin
a new nest to feather.
355
00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:48,790
Yeah, one with bars on it.
356
00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:51,125
You'll pay for this, Batman.
357
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,129
Unhand me at once.
358
00:20:55,213 --> 00:20:56,047
That's an order.
359
00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,847
[theme music playing]
360
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:05,932
[tires squealing]