1 00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:04,755 So, Aristotle was Plato's student 2 00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:08,383 and Aristotle believes that your character is voluntary 3 00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:11,553 because it's just the result of your actions 4 00:00:11,595 --> 00:00:14,681 which are under your control! 5 00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:20,270 For example, right now, you have made the insane choice 6 00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:23,398 to ignore the person who is literally trying to save you 7 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,984 from eternal damnation. — no, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm listening. 8 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,069 Uh, I just... 9 00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:29,988 Are we sure we should be paying attention to these guys? 10 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,950 It's like, who died and left Aristotle in charge of ethics? 11 00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:35,494 Plato. 12 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,536 Knocking on door 13 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,038 uh, coming! 14 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:40,249 Uhm... we're just kissing! 15 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,252 And groping? — what? 16 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,923 Hello! 17 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,384 Tahani, hi! 18 00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,553 What brings you here? — you know, I was just, uh... 19 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,638 "In the neighbourhood." She laughs 20 00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:56,265 do you get it, Eleanor? 21 00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:58,159 Because you know we're all in the same afterlife 22 00:00:58,183 --> 00:00:59,619 so you know I'm always "in the neighbourhood!" 23 00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:01,019 She chuckles do you get it? 24 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,313 I do. And it's delightful. 25 00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:05,732 Anyway, this is for you. 26 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,485 Just a housewarming plant! It's a little reminder that 27 00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:11,613 if there's ever anything that you need, I am right next door. 28 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:12,948 How could I possibly forget? 29 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,908 Have a great day, tahani. 30 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:15,950 Oh. Bye. 31 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,078 Door closes 32 00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:20,163 ugh. Tahani. 33 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,544 In a mocking pitch "welcome to the neighbourhood 34 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,710 even though we all arrived here at the same time! 35 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:28,046 Here's some dirt I put in a bowl, because I'm amazing!" 36 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:29,297 Loud thud 37 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,842 I thought it was kind of a nice gesture. 38 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:35,220 Oh, chidi. It's a total con. 39 00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:38,098 She only does things like this so that we will talk about 40 00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:41,768 how "thoughtful" and "wonderful" she is, but I see through her little act. 41 00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:45,897 Her act of being a nice person who brings you gifts? 42 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,150 Bingo. — okay, I'll... I'll remind you 43 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:51,028 that you're trying to learn how to be a good person. 44 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,487 Mm—hmm. — maybe you should 45 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,656 return the favour — bring her something. 46 00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:58,827 Oh, so now I'm supposed to be nice and make friends 47 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:01,538 and treat her with mutual respect? — yeah. 48 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:04,958 That's exactly what she wants me to do, chidi. Wake up! 49 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:09,755 That... that's what everyone wants everyone to do. 50 00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:18,179 Michael: Hello, chidi! 51 00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:20,140 No frozen yoghurt for you this morning? 52 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,476 Oh, uh... no, just, uh... Doing some reading. 53 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:23,769 Ah, been there, brother. 54 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,021 Workin' hard or hardly workin', am I right? 55 00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:27,063 She chuckles hump day. 56 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:28,565 Michael: Uh, sorry. 57 00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:32,361 Janet's functioning as my assistant but she's a little stiff 58 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:35,781 so I've been trying to get her to be a little more casual and conversational. 59 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,908 I'll have what she's having! 60 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,326 It's a work in progress. 61 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:40,410 Listen, chidi. 62 00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:44,873 I've been studying your file — You're a very interesting case. 63 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:47,709 You essentially only did one thing while you were on earth 64 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,878 you thought and wrote about ethics. 65 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,130 Yes. I... I spent eighteen years 66 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,566 working on my manuscript... — right. 67 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,967 Called “who we are and who we are not...” — no, no, I... 68 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,695 “Colon — practical ethics and their... — mm—hmm. 69 00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,364 Application in the modern world... — yes. Right. 70 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:01,449 Semi—colon — a treatise on the...” — yes, yes, yes! 71 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:02,808 That's... that's the one. 72 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:07,854 But searching for moral truths isn't really relevant anymore. 73 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:11,858 Because here in the good place we actually know all the answers. 74 00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:15,529 I think you should experience new adventures, you know 75 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,614 do things that you haven't done on earth. 76 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:21,827 Right? So why don't we meet tomorrow and try out some new hobbies. 77 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,787 Uh, why not? He laughs 78 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,455 I'll... I'll see you guys tomorrow. 79 00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:26,832 Not if I see you first. 80 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,376 Where's the beef? — Michael laughs 81 00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,044 I don't know. — hump day. 82 00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:35,465 Knocking on door — hello, Eleanor! 83 00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:38,135 Jianyu, darling, look — It's Eleanor from next door! 84 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:39,719 Is he asleep? 85 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,029 You know, there's really no way to tell. 86 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,950 You know one time I actually thought he was dead. 87 00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:45,785 But then I remembered we're all dead, aren't we? 88 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:48,103 Such fun. Come in! Come on in! 89 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,230 What brings you to our home, my dear? 90 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:53,608 Well, I'm simply repaying your kind gift 91 00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:56,695 with a housewarming gift of my own. Fresh pears. 92 00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:00,782 It's a plant, just like your gift, but you can actually eat them 93 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,451 so maybe it's a better gift? 94 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:05,370 Who's to say? — that's so kind. 95 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:09,624 However, in, um... Chinese culture, pears are actually a symbol of bad luck. 96 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:12,085 And I don't want to offend jianyu, so I'm afraid 97 00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:13,479 I'm going to have to throw these in the garbage. 98 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,005 But do come and sit down! 99 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,927 We haven't even had a chance to discuss all of the mayhem in our neighbourhood yet. 100 00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,345 It's so disconcerting. 101 00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:24,639 Yes. What do you think is causing it? 102 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:26,016 Oh, I'm sure I don't know. 103 00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:27,851 But we must keep our heads up. 104 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:30,687 In fact, tomorrow I'm actually going door—to—door to make sure 105 00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:33,064 that every single person in this entire neighbourhood 106 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,484 is "keeping calm and carrying on." 107 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,086 'Cause I think that helping others 108 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,529 will make me feel like I truly belong here, you know? 109 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,661 Here's a brainstorm — Why don't I go with you? 110 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:50,248 I mean, I would love to do my part to help the neighbourhood... 111 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,959 Not to mention get a little bonding time with you, lady! 112 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,252 Oh, hurrah! 113 00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:56,713 Tahani laughs such fun! 114 00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,759 Eleanor: I'm telling you, tahani's out to get me. 115 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:02,260 Wha— what are you talking about? 116 00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:05,138 This note was slipped under my door yesterday. 117 00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:08,266 It has to be tahani. 118 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,686 She just said to me, “I want to feel like I truly belong here.” 119 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:14,189 Well, where have I seen the word “belong” recently? 120 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,524 Oh, yeah — ka—plow! 121 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:19,277 Okay, I really don't think she's the type of person who would write this. 122 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,780 She is that kind of person, and she did write it. 123 00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:25,283 She wants everybody to think she's such a perfect Princess 124 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:29,329 just 'cause she's tall, and glamorous, and has cappuccino skin 125 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:32,499 and curves everywhere, and now I'm complimenting her. 126 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,000 And kind of turned on! 127 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,670 The point is, she straight—up sucks, bro. 128 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:37,711 Cracking 129 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,131 whoa... 130 00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,008 Typical tahani. 131 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,595 Brings us a faulty plant, so she can brag about being a better gardener. 132 00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:51,393 No — I think this is another way in which your negative actions affect this world. 133 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:54,604 This plant represents your relationship to tahani 134 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:58,316 so when you're mean to her, it starts to wilt. 135 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:01,778 Well, then this plant is doomed, because tomorrow I'm going with her 136 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:06,157 and I'm gonna prove to you and to everyone that she is secretly a two—faced 137 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,243 calculating, phony bench. 138 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:10,120 Whining — she chuckles 139 00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:13,123 yeah, truth hurts, doesn't it, plant? 140 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:17,669 She impersonates tahani hello! 141 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,337 Oh! Come on in. 142 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,463 I'll be ready in a jiff. 143 00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:23,216 Jianyu, darling, look — It's Eleanor from next door again! 144 00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:24,986 The one who brought the offensive fruit. 145 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:28,471 Ah, yes. What an embarrassing blunder on my part. 146 00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,223 Oh, no. Don't give it a second thought. 147 00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:33,505 I wouldn't expect anyone else to have my understanding of international etiquette. 148 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,939 Hey, um... any idea why they gave you such a big house? 149 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:42,485 I mean, if we were in america and... and you had like a big truck 150 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,238 I would think you might be compensating for something. 151 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:48,408 Yes, well American men can be very silly. 152 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:49,969 You know I used to do quite a cutting impression 153 00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,870 of an ex—boyfriend of mine from the states. 154 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:55,665 He'd be all like, “hey, I'm so rich. I have nine houses. 155 00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,542 I'm Leonardo DiCaprio.” she laughs 156 00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:59,669 it's just so silly. 157 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,797 Anyway, I should've guessed that you would want to help our neighbourhood. 158 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,133 We are birds of a feather, you and I. 159 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:08,219 We make every effort to be our best selves. 160 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,428 Mmm. 161 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:12,307 Hey, babe. Got you coffee. 162 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:13,682 Ah, great. 163 00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:14,893 Oh. Andy's coffee? 164 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,062 Uh, we shouldn't go there. Everybody's boycotting. 165 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,814 Yeah, I know that one guy found a scorpion in his latte. 166 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,834 I don't really care, though, 'cause it's so close to here. 167 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:24,128 No, no, no, no, it's because he's sexually harassing people. 168 00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:27,280 Look, a journalist went undercover for an interview and recorded him. 169 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:28,530 Here, watch. 170 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:32,345 Here's the thing, sweetheart. You are very qualified, but you're also 171 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:35,038 what we call in the coffee shop game, a ”dog—face. ” 172 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,540 You're a three, and you have to be a nine to work here. 173 00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:38,582 It's just math. 174 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,336 Girl: So, id/dn't get the job? — he laughs 175 00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,297 no/ dog—face, you didn't get the job. 176 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,883 All right, I'll check your references. 177 00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:49,719 Just to be... — hey, my breasts! 178 00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:52,305 Nice, I'll check them. Oh! They're good. Honk! 179 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,590 I mean this guy's a monster. We can't support this guy. 180 00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:56,226 Okay, hey, you're not better than me 181 00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:59,020 just 'cause you won't support a guy who grabbed a boob once. 182 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,690 No, I'm just saying we shouldn't go there. 183 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,051 We can get coffee somewhere else. 184 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,502 Did you know your left reference 185 00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,379 is a little bit bigger than your right reference .7 186 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,488 it's not a bad thing. It's just... it's a thing. 187 00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:11,992 This is the perfect hobby for you, chidi. 188 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,200 Cartography! 189 00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:16,162 Your neighbourhood stretches way beyond what you've already seen. 190 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,832 And you can map it 191 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:22,210 revealing all of the mysteries, like an explorer! 192 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,123 I see how that might be fun. 193 00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:27,090 Uh, but exploring makes me nervous. 194 00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,884 I have what doctors call "directional insanity." 195 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,803 I once got lost on an escalator. 196 00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,014 So, not exactly Christopher Columbus. 197 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:36,391 Fun fact — Columbus is in the bad place 198 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:39,102 because of all the raping, slave trade, and genocide. 199 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:43,481 The fact that it makes you nervous is exactly why you should do it. 200 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,167 You know, get out of your comfort zone. 201 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,401 Become a trailblazer. 202 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:50,739 Fun fact — all deceased members of the Portland trail blazers basketball team 203 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,741 are also in the bad place. 204 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:53,992 Ah. Yeah. — she laughs 205 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:57,078 sorry about this. I steered her away from colloquialisms 206 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,956 and into "fun facts" and trivia titbits. 207 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,000 I thought it'd be more in her wheelhouse. 208 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,711 Fun fact — a "wheelhouse" is a part of a boat. 209 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,212 Okay, thank you, Janet. Thank you. 210 00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,756 Fun fact — Janet is me. 211 00:09:07,839 --> 00:09:09,591 All right, let's forget about exploring. 212 00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:11,676 Plenty more ideas for hobbies. 213 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,303 Let's walk back to town, shall we? 214 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,222 Michael: Okay. Hang on. 215 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,141 Wrong way! — yep! 216 00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:23,730 So all I want to do is just check in, see how everyone's holding up... 217 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,399 Just bring some cheer to these extraordinary people. 218 00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:27,691 Cool. 219 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:30,278 So tell me about yourself. 220 00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:35,116 I mean, I want to hear it all, girlfriend! The good, the bad, the really bad, 221 00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,826 the embarrassing, the humiliating... 222 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,244 Just... let's bond! 223 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:43,041 Okay. Well, I... I was born in Pakistan, raised in London, schooled in Paris. 224 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,102 But I think the primary reason I'm in the good place 225 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:47,670 is that I raised quite a lot of money for non—profit groups. 226 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:51,925 Oh! Did you ever, uh... Skim a little off the top, for yourself? 227 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:55,845 Gracious, no! No! Every penny was accounted for. 228 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,223 And as I raised nearly sixty billion dollars 229 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,034 that was quite a lot of pennies! — she chuckles 230 00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,227 but I also dabbled in some other professions. 231 00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:06,147 I was a model, a museum curator, and "it girl," and... 232 00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,691 Oh, I was baz luhrmann's muse for a while. 233 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:09,651 That was quite fun. 234 00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,986 Modelling — that's a crazy life. 235 00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:14,739 Wanna tell me about that rock—bottom you probably hit? 236 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:15,966 Oh, I didn't really do it for long. 237 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,367 Couture just doesn't fit my body. 238 00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:18,952 I'm cursed with ample bosom. 239 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,621 And yet, you soldier on! — oh, this is silly. 240 00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:24,707 So, "tahani" means "congratulations" in arabic 241 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,376 and ai—jamil means "beautiful." 242 00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:27,686 So my full name all together means... 243 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,254 "Congratulations, beautiful." 244 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,589 Thanks, Eleanor! You big flirt. She chuckles 245 00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,177 extra! Extra! 246 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,596 Read all about you! 247 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:42,559 Chidi, this is the perfect hobby for you — journalism. 248 00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,186 Well, obviously, I... I like to write. 249 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,064 But I don't love deadlines. 250 00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:49,649 I prefer to take my time with things. 251 00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:50,567 Yes, I know. 252 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:53,111 Uh, you never even named your dog, did you? 253 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:57,740 When it ran away, you posted signs saying, "responds to long pauses." 254 00:10:57,949 --> 00:11:02,036 Look, chidi. I'm just trying to find you a hobby that — the hat... 255 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,706 That will bring you a positive experience. 256 00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,039 What do you say? 257 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,917 I'm loving that hat on you. 258 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:12,213 It would look even better on my floor. — what is happening now? 259 00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:13,798 I suggested she be friendlier. 260 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:17,093 She seems to have slipped right into overt sexuality. 261 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,803 I got something you can slip into. 262 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:22,307 Oh... — Janet, no! No, Janet! 263 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,786 Well, Glenn, we just wanted to make sure you were all right. 264 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,103 Tahani! You're too sweet! 265 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,564 Oh. — Isn't she just the nicest person? 266 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:30,606 Mm—hmm. 267 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,567 That is what a lot of people are saying. 268 00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,652 Oh, everyone I know is saying that. — yeah. 269 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,655 It's just a big neighbourhood full of enormous mansions 270 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,032 and people who love tahani! 271 00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,618 There's also a heck of a lot of yoghurt. 272 00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:45,538 Excellent observation, Glenn. — they laugh 273 00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:49,393 Eleanor and I just want to see if there's anything we can do to help you? 274 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,002 Oh, tahani, you are so thoughtful! 275 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:54,756 Despite all the chaos earlier, we simply couldn't be happier. 276 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,507 Oh, I'm so glad to hear it, cualli! 277 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,176 Please take a maple butter scone. 278 00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,594 I made them fresh this morning! 279 00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:01,679 Ooh, they look a bit burnt. 280 00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:05,725 But they're not. 281 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,186 Hmm. Oh, fork, that's good! 282 00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:10,271 Okay! — saw noises 283 00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,357 arc welding! You could learn sculpture 284 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,733 you could make furniture 285 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:16,615 you could get your hands a little greasy, you know, and you make things! 286 00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:21,574 And, by the way, this is an exact replica of brancusi's workshop in Paris. 287 00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,910 He laughs — this equipment is very scary. 288 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,746 Don't be a baby. It can't hurt you. 289 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:29,624 Watch. I'll blowtorch your face off. — Janet! 290 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,126 Whatever. This whole thing is stupid. 291 00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:33,670 Oh, brother. 292 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,339 I told her to be less flirty. — metal hits the floor 293 00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:38,967 now she's cruel and distant, apparently. 294 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,343 I just can't get this right. 295 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:43,429 Thank you for trying to find me a new hobby, uh... 296 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,473 But I just want to be an academic. 297 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:48,101 I want to keep working on my manuscript. 298 00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:51,437 Chidi, here's the thing. 299 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:55,483 See, I... I read your whole book — All thirty—six hundred pages of it. 300 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:58,278 It's, um... how shall I put this? 301 00:12:58,444 --> 00:12:59,444 It's a mess, dude. 302 00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:01,238 Hey! 303 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:02,823 She's right. 304 00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:07,328 You see, chidi, I can read the entirety of the world's literature in about an hour. 305 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:10,331 This took me two weeks to get through. 306 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,000 I mean, it's so convoluted! 307 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:14,877 I just kept reading the same paragraph over and over again 308 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,213 trying to figure out what the heck you were saying. 309 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:18,381 Oh, no. — I mean, on... 310 00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:22,885 On page one thousand, you start section two with the sentence... 311 00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:25,930 "Of course, the exact opposite might be true." 312 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:32,395 You're a brilliant guy, chidi, but you just kept revising, and rewriting 313 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,063 and adding words to your title. 314 00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:36,607 I think you just twisted yourself up into a knot. 315 00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:38,515 I have a very bad stomach ache. 316 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,955 Oh, jianyu, darling, would you like some tea? 317 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,617 That nod meant "no, apparently. 318 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:49,346 Well, it was nice to get out and meet all of our wonderful neighbours. 319 00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:52,165 They all truly belong here. 320 00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,459 Mmm. Yes, they do, cutie pants! 321 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,500 Boop! 322 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,187 Well! I should really be going. I have to begin 323 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,756 my twelve—step Korean skin care regimen but, uh... 324 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:01,132 I'll see you... oh, no, no, no. 325 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,009 Please, stay and enjoy the evening tea. 326 00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,051 I'll see you soon. 327 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:09,182 I can't even tell if you've kissed my cheek or the air around it. 328 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:11,768 Oh. Thank you. That's the goal. 329 00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,101 Boop! 330 00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,827 Eleanor: "The diary of tahani al—jamil.” 331 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:33,163 Hey, man! 332 00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:34,664 Door closes 333 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,375 what's wrong? 334 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:37,834 Am I a good teacher? 335 00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,630 Am I... am I clear, do I make sense? 336 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:43,800 Yeah, you're a great teacher! I'm super ethical now. 337 00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:45,676 What's that? — hmm? 338 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:47,553 Nah... don't worry about it. 339 00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:49,722 She sighs 340 00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:54,560 I stole tahani's diary so I could see if her handwriting matches the note 341 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:58,564 and also read about all the mean and terrible things she's definitely done 342 00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,608 so I can prove she's actually evil. 343 00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:01,984 Fire roars 344 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:05,737 huh. 345 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,449 What do you think that means? 346 00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,451 It's tough to interpret. 347 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:12,412 Feels positive though. 348 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,960 You stole tahani's diary? 349 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,421 I know I broke some ethical rule but I had good reason. 350 00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:25,800 Eleanor. In order to be a good person you have to do good things. 351 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:30,179 And not stealing people's stuff, that is just a basic kindergarten rule. 352 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,516 I mean, do I also have to tell you to not throw sand? 353 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,994 First of all, throwing sand is an excellent way to put out a vodka fire. 354 00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,037 Why would you even know that? 355 00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:39,355 Second of all, I know that it may not be "nice" 356 00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:42,567 but neither is pretending to be one hundred percent perfect 357 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:43,776 like tahani does. 358 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,404 She wrote that note. — no, she didn't! 359 00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:47,738 You did! 360 00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:51,742 I... I was hoping you would come to this conclusion on your own 361 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:56,164 but obviously, no one here would ever threaten you. 362 00:15:56,581 --> 00:16:00,293 That note is the good place manifesting your own guilt... 363 00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:05,590 Like with the plant, or when you literally made giant shrimp fly through the air. 364 00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,468 I wrote myself the note! 365 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:12,305 And as it turns out I do belong here 366 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,402 because I'm just as good as everyone else. 367 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,935 And... and nobody is at fault for anything. 368 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,897 Oh! You, sir, are an excellent teacher. 369 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:23,232 No, no, no. You don't belong here. 370 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:26,235 And in this place, everyone is better than you. 371 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:28,821 It has been proven by an infallible formula. 372 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:33,659 Tahani might be a little British and condescending at times 373 00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:37,663 but she devoted her entire life to helping other people. 374 00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:41,584 I mean when you were with her today, did she do anything to indicate 375 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,628 that she might be secretly out to get you? 376 00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:46,339 No. Because I was there to thwart her plan. 377 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:50,676 Or because the only plan was to comfort people. 378 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,137 She's a good person. Accept that. 379 00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:59,936 Hey, babe. Great news. I got us tickets to the coyotes' game. 380 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,647 Awesome! — but, ooh, yikes. 381 00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:04,941 Turns out two of the players have "dui" s. 382 00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,360 Guess we can't cheer for that team. 383 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:08,277 Eleanor... 384 00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:12,823 You know what? Instead, let's just stay in, watch a Roman polanski movie 385 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:15,284 listen to r. Kelly, and eat chik—fil—a. 386 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,161 Does that sound good? — he sighs 387 00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,413 there's bad stuff everywhere, man. 388 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,165 It's impossible to avoid. 389 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,292 Yeah, but... shouldn't we just try? 390 00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:25,753 Shouldn't we just try to do the right thing, whenever we can? 391 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:29,195 Why? It's so much harder to live like that, and it's not like someone's keeping score. 392 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,884 He sighs — look, I know you're gonna break up with me. 393 00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:33,219 Okay? I'm not an idiot. 394 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,720 I read your emails to your dad. 395 00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:35,721 Oh, my god. — have fun being 396 00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,265 so amazing and perfect until you die. 397 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:40,434 And by the way, I'm talking really fast because I still go to Andy's coffee 398 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:41,894 and I got a full punch card, bro! 399 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,108 She breathes deeply 400 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,945 good people make me insecure. 401 00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:54,156 When I'm around someone who I think is "better" than me 402 00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:55,783 I try and drag them down to my level. 403 00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:59,579 That's why perfect tahani is like my kryptonite. 404 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:02,373 Did it ever occur to you that maybe tahani 405 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,626 has her own set of insecurities and anxieties? 406 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:06,918 Never. 407 00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:09,130 That woman has zero problems. 408 00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:12,174 Her biggest flaw is that she makes a weird face 409 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,845 when she sneezes and even that is actually charming 410 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:17,555 because she looks like a baby deer. 411 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,058 The point is... you were right. 412 00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:24,478 About why I reacted to her the way I did. 413 00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:27,690 Well, maybe even admitting that is an important step. 414 00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:30,026 And also, maybe don't listen to me. 415 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,777 I would love not to listen to you. 416 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:32,903 Wait, what? 417 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:38,784 Basically, my life's work is thirty—six hundred pages of garbage. 418 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,786 Even, Michael couldn't understand it. 419 00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,872 So? What does Michael know? 420 00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:43,789 Everything. 421 00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:47,335 That's my point — he knows everything, and it was too convoluted even for him. 422 00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,754 Michael does not know everything. 423 00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,632 Michael does not know I'm not supposed to be here. 424 00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,009 You wrote four thousand pages 425 00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:58,179 on one of the most complicated subjects in the world! 426 00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:01,057 I mean I used to get bored halfway through writing a text message. 427 00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:02,683 Be proud! 428 00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:11,442 I want to broaden my horizons and try new things and I will. 429 00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:13,778 But even though I might have gotten lost in the weeds 430 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:18,407 I loved writing this book, and I want to try again. 431 00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:19,741 So... 432 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,495 Will you be my advisor? — chidi 433 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,122 all I want is for you to be happy. 434 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:30,252 So if spending eternity getting blunt feedback on your circular 435 00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:35,383 rambling ideas will make you happy, then of course I will be your advisor! 436 00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:39,136 Let's throw that monstrosity in the trash and start over! 437 00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:42,688 Aren't there maybe some parts worth salvaging? 438 00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:45,518 Honestly, man, I don't even know. I mean that thing is unreadable. 439 00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:49,397 I literally learned what headaches were because that thing gave me a headache. 440 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,022 Okay. 441 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:55,111 There you go! New beginnings! Well done. 442 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,753 Whining 443 00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,257 tahani sobs 444 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:19,969 she gasps oh! Hello, Eleanor. 445 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:22,430 She laughs nervously hi. Sorry, I was just cleaning up. 446 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,556 You okay? 447 00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:28,144 Do you want to talk about it? 448 00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,269 Desperately. 449 00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,397 It's jianyu. 450 00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,607 I just can't seem to connect with him. 451 00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,359 I know that he took a vow of silence 452 00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:38,112 but he won't even talk to me, his soulmate! 453 00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,489 And I adore talking. 454 00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:42,533 I know. You do. 455 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,869 Eleanor, you don't know what it's like to be in paradise 456 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,329 and feel like there's something just not quite right. 457 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,331 Well... 458 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:54,128 I may not know exactly what you're feeling, but I do understand. 459 00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:57,590 And you deserve to be happy, because_. 460 00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:01,969 You are an impressive, thoughtful, and special person. 461 00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:05,431 Not to mention... 462 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:09,018 You have a rockin' bod. — she laughs 463 00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:12,938 I mean, jianyu may be mute, but he's not blind. 464 00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:17,777 You two belong here, and you belong together. 465 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:20,029 And, you have all of eternity 466 00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:22,406 so there's plenty of time for things to change. 467 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:25,910 Oh, thank you. I really needed to hear that. 468 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:26,951 Come here. 469 00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:30,915 Ugh! Of course your hugs are amazing. 470 00:21:36,212 --> 00:21:37,630 She yawns 471 00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:39,088 she gasps 472 00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:42,384 stupid ledge. No stairs. 473 00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:44,719 Hmm! 474 00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:46,972 Everyone here is really into hugging. 475 00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:50,810 Looks like someone learned something. 476 00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:58,859 Well... it's 'cause someone else is a really good teacher. 477 00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:03,656 Eleanor! Hello. 478 00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:06,075 How are you, my dear, sweet “bestie?” she laughs 479 00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,244 never better. What's up? 480 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:10,621 Well, Janet has been acting as my assistant. 481 00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:14,875 It... it's not what she was designed to do. It didn't go "great." 482 00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:16,252 But now I'm back to normal. 483 00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:18,254 It turns out that the best Janet 484 00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:21,173 was the Janet that was inside Janet all along. 485 00:22:21,382 --> 00:22:22,842 She was feeling a little lost 486 00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:26,512 so I gave her a self—help book to restore her confidence. 487 00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:29,473 Now I'm living my truth and creating my bliss. 488 00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,725 Yes. But anyway, um... look 489 00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:34,311 Michael asked me if I would serve as his assistant 490 00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:37,314 but I'd quite like to focus on my relationship with jianyu. 491 00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:40,943 So, I recommended you for the job. 492 00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:45,322 She laughs — Eleanor, you and I could work side by side 493 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:48,158 to figure out what's going wrong with this neighbourhood. 494 00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:49,450 Will you help me? 495 00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:51,495 How could I say no? 496 00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:53,205 Hurrah! Hurrah! — hurrah! 497 00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:55,916 She sighs 498 00:22:57,418 --> 00:22:58,418 what now? 499 00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:11,765 Relax, Eleanor. You sent this to yourself. 500 00:23:11,807 --> 00:23:15,644 This is your own guilt, manifesting itself. 501 00:23:17,354 --> 00:23:18,480 I've been waiting for you. 502 00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:22,109 Jianyu? You talk now? 503 00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:27,156 You sent me these threatening notes? 504 00:23:27,197 --> 00:23:28,490 What the fork, man? 505 00:23:28,532 --> 00:23:29,950 Some Buddhist monk you are! 506 00:23:30,284 --> 00:23:32,411 You don't belong here. Admit it. 507 00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:37,583 Okay, you're right. I don't belong here. 508 00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:39,877 Michael made a mistake. But I'm trying, dude. 509 00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:44,048 I'm really trying to be a good person, and I think I'm changing, for the better. 510 00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:46,675 So just please, please don't rat me out. 511 00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:50,471 Don't worry. I won't. — she sighs 512 00:23:50,804 --> 00:23:52,484 because I'm not supposed to be here either! 513 00:23:52,723 --> 00:23:55,351 I don't know how I got here, I have no idea what's going on 514 00:23:55,392 --> 00:23:56,852 and I'm freaking out, homey! 515 00:23:57,144 --> 00:23:59,271 You gotta help me! I'm scared! 516 00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:02,607 What?