1 00:01:37,085 --> 00:01:39,985 That wasn't a store robbery. 2 00:01:39,987 --> 00:01:42,087 That was an assassination. 3 00:01:42,089 --> 00:01:45,323 That wasn't a clerk. That was a wise guy. 4 00:01:45,325 --> 00:01:48,759 How do I know? 5 00:01:48,761 --> 00:01:52,362 I spent a little time with the FBI's organized crime unit. 6 00:01:52,364 --> 00:01:54,764 I guess you could say that I'm intimately knowledgeable 7 00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,866 with the seedy and rancorous workings of the mob 8 00:01:56,868 --> 00:01:59,435 in the Midwest section of this country. 9 00:01:59,437 --> 00:02:01,603 I know a gangland slaying when I see one, 10 00:02:01,605 --> 00:02:03,738 and that's exactly what this baby is. 11 00:02:03,740 --> 00:02:07,541 I'd look into it myself personally, but I got a date tonight. 12 00:02:07,543 --> 00:02:10,277 Think I'll take the private jet out 13 00:02:10,279 --> 00:02:13,079 and fly to Spain, pick up the little lady. 14 00:02:13,081 --> 00:02:15,881 Do the subsonic tummy bump at 30,000 feet. 15 00:02:15,883 --> 00:02:18,683 Then glide back into the U.S. of A. By dawn. 16 00:02:18,685 --> 00:02:23,286 I know what you're gonna say, "Jim. Jim Dodge, settle down." 17 00:02:23,288 --> 00:02:25,621 "Relax. You owe it to yourself." 18 00:02:25,623 --> 00:02:27,789 I'll tell you what I tell everybody else. 19 00:02:27,791 --> 00:02:31,793 Any little Fraulein that expects anything more from me 20 00:02:31,795 --> 00:02:33,427 than a little bit of pleasure and a little bit of danger 21 00:02:33,429 --> 00:02:35,695 and a great set of pectorals, 22 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,657 she's looking for a fall right on her ass. 23 00:02:42,369 --> 00:02:44,369 Hubie, Hubie, Hubie, Hubie! 24 00:02:44,371 --> 00:02:46,371 Get out of here! Let me tell you something. 25 00:02:46,373 --> 00:02:49,006 If you know what's good for you, don't you ever come back! 26 00:02:49,742 --> 00:02:51,608 Wait a minute, now, Hubie. 27 00:02:51,610 --> 00:02:53,910 You're not gonna find someone who has the relationship with those animals 28 00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:55,611 that I do. 29 00:02:55,613 --> 00:02:58,313 Listen to the dogs, Hubie. They love me! 30 00:02:59,883 --> 00:03:03,050 It all started when I was 15. 31 00:03:03,052 --> 00:03:06,086 That's when I invented the artificial cow heart. 32 00:03:06,088 --> 00:03:08,755 That was a big thing. 33 00:03:08,757 --> 00:03:12,058 A little before your time, but it made all the newspapers, 34 00:03:12,060 --> 00:03:14,727 ABC, NBC, CBS, they all picked up on it, 35 00:03:14,729 --> 00:03:18,063 but it's more or less a hobby for me, boys. 36 00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:21,299 Scoot over! 37 00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:23,634 Actually, 38 00:03:24,837 --> 00:03:28,605 today I decided that I've gone just about as far I can go 39 00:03:28,607 --> 00:03:30,807 in the animal health-care business. 40 00:03:30,809 --> 00:03:34,076 But that's your question. The reason that I'm not at work this afternoon, 41 00:03:34,078 --> 00:03:38,847 is because I was made an offer that I simply cannot refuse. I sold. 42 00:03:38,849 --> 00:03:40,615 Whatcha gonna do with the cash, Jim? 43 00:03:40,617 --> 00:03:42,583 I don't know. Maybe I'll invest it overseas. 44 00:03:42,585 --> 00:03:44,618 I've got some projects in eastern Europe right now. 45 00:03:44,620 --> 00:03:46,419 I don't know. I've got everything a man needs. 46 00:03:46,421 --> 00:03:49,455 Jim, you just bought the animal hospital. 47 00:03:49,457 --> 00:03:52,156 How come you sold it so fast? 48 00:03:53,659 --> 00:03:56,259 Tax problem. 49 00:03:56,261 --> 00:03:58,628 And here's my accountant right now. 50 00:03:58,630 --> 00:04:01,030 Earl, take a bow. 51 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:04,299 20 minutes for lunch, okay? Go buy another suit. 52 00:04:04,301 --> 00:04:06,467 He works for me. 53 00:04:06,469 --> 00:04:08,802 He's scouting some real estate for me right now. 54 00:04:08,804 --> 00:04:11,337 Yeah, but the market's real tight. 55 00:04:14,275 --> 00:04:16,574 I like the new uniform, Lorraine. 56 00:04:19,045 --> 00:04:21,311 You know, with the right shoes and handbag, 57 00:04:21,313 --> 00:04:23,546 that might be suitable for a cocktail party. 58 00:04:24,115 --> 00:04:26,548 So... Question. 59 00:04:26,550 --> 00:04:30,018 When in the world are you going to start serving sashimi? 60 00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:32,053 Maybe when I find out what it is. 61 00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:36,956 You've never heard of sashimi? 62 00:04:36,958 --> 00:04:39,158 You've got to be kidding. 63 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:42,461 It's this special Japanese fish you eat raw. 64 00:04:42,463 --> 00:04:44,029 With a little butter sauce, 65 00:04:44,031 --> 00:04:47,132 and you're ready to go to heaven. 66 00:04:47,134 --> 00:04:52,170 I'd hire you in a minute if I hadn't already fired you so many times. 67 00:04:52,172 --> 00:04:54,872 Did you ever think of leaving town? 68 00:04:56,008 --> 00:04:59,309 Thousands of people over in St. Louis... 69 00:04:59,311 --> 00:05:02,478 Got no idea how full of shit you are. 70 00:05:04,315 --> 00:05:07,816 You've been alive for 21 years, my friend. 71 00:05:07,818 --> 00:05:12,052 Plenty of time for most people to find a place for themselves. 72 00:05:13,488 --> 00:05:16,155 Well, I'm not like everybody else. 73 00:05:16,157 --> 00:05:18,724 You know what I'm saying? 74 00:05:18,726 --> 00:05:20,892 Yeah, that's for sure. 75 00:05:23,363 --> 00:05:25,663 How about if I... 76 00:05:25,665 --> 00:05:27,898 I work for you for free? 77 00:05:29,835 --> 00:05:32,268 No. 78 00:05:32,270 --> 00:05:34,803 I'm afraid not, Jimmy. 79 00:05:35,505 --> 00:05:38,171 Think about St. Louis. 80 00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,239 - Hey, Josie. - Hi. 81 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,506 Fill her up? 82 00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:43,740 Fill her up. 83 00:06:03,027 --> 00:06:04,926 How you doin'? 84 00:06:21,709 --> 00:06:23,542 You got fired again, didn't you? Didn't you? 85 00:06:23,544 --> 00:06:25,243 Yeah. 86 00:06:25,245 --> 00:06:26,611 Who told you that? 87 00:06:26,613 --> 00:06:29,046 Hubie Marshall called me at work. 88 00:06:29,048 --> 00:06:31,214 He called you at work? 89 00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:35,050 That's it. Okay, I'm gonna... I'll speak... What'd he say? 90 00:06:35,052 --> 00:06:37,886 He said he fired ya! 91 00:06:37,888 --> 00:06:40,255 He said that? And you believed him? 92 00:06:40,257 --> 00:06:42,090 Damn straight I do! 93 00:06:42,092 --> 00:06:47,061 With all due respect, Dad, you're Mr. Gullible, sometimes. 94 00:06:47,063 --> 00:06:49,296 The truth of the matter is, Dad, I resigned. 95 00:06:50,232 --> 00:06:51,397 I'll tell you something else, Dad. 96 00:06:51,399 --> 00:06:52,431 Shut up, Jimmy! 97 00:06:52,433 --> 00:06:54,633 When I took the job, I had no idea 98 00:06:54,635 --> 00:06:57,669 it was gonna be a hire-fire situation. 99 00:06:57,671 --> 00:07:00,138 Luther Betenhauser's boy is doing much better. 100 00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:01,439 What's wrong with him? 101 00:07:01,441 --> 00:07:02,740 Fell off his grandfather's silo. 102 00:07:02,742 --> 00:07:04,074 He's got brain damage. 103 00:07:04,076 --> 00:07:05,308 He does not. 104 00:07:05,310 --> 00:07:06,942 He does, too. 105 00:07:06,944 --> 00:07:08,743 Hoover Fey says his tongue's gonna hang out 106 00:07:08,745 --> 00:07:10,444 the side of his mouth the rest of his life. 107 00:07:10,446 --> 00:07:12,245 And when he dies and they bury him, 108 00:07:12,247 --> 00:07:14,580 at the funeral they're gonna put a mask on him. 109 00:07:14,582 --> 00:07:17,015 Do I have to listen to this while I'm eating? 110 00:07:17,684 --> 00:07:19,717 Let's talk about something else. 111 00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:27,290 Josie McClellan moved to New York. 112 00:07:27,292 --> 00:07:30,259 She did not. I saw her today. 113 00:07:30,261 --> 00:07:32,261 Well, I don't know how you could. 114 00:07:32,263 --> 00:07:35,197 I heard at the bank that she got tired of taking care of her father, 115 00:07:35,199 --> 00:07:36,965 and she told him to jump in a lake, 116 00:07:36,967 --> 00:07:40,034 and then she left for New York to get her MBA in high-fashion design 117 00:07:40,036 --> 00:07:42,703 at the University of New York City. 118 00:07:42,705 --> 00:07:46,472 I just saw her down at the gas station in living color. 119 00:07:46,474 --> 00:07:49,107 We had a cup of java together. 120 00:07:49,109 --> 00:07:53,177 Well, I'm gonna take Lou Selby's word over yours any day. 121 00:07:53,179 --> 00:07:56,947 Lou Selby. Lou Selby's a drunk. 122 00:07:56,949 --> 00:07:59,716 You know, for a guy who's just lost his umpteenth job, 123 00:07:59,718 --> 00:08:01,684 you sure are handy with the tongue sword. 124 00:08:01,686 --> 00:08:03,786 You got canned again? 125 00:08:03,788 --> 00:08:05,788 Well, he didn't get canned. 126 00:08:06,724 --> 00:08:07,889 He got fired. 127 00:08:09,225 --> 00:08:11,105 That's gotta be some kind of a record. 128 00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,462 Not only are you an obnoxious slug, 129 00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:20,231 but you're a freeloading obnoxious slug. 130 00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:22,132 Well, you should talk. 131 00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:24,654 What are you? In your mid-forties and still living at home. 132 00:08:25,670 --> 00:08:28,537 I'm 24, and I pay rent. 133 00:08:29,072 --> 00:08:30,237 So do I. 134 00:08:30,239 --> 00:08:31,371 You did pay rent. 135 00:08:32,140 --> 00:08:35,640 Dad, you mean you're cutting my rent? 136 00:08:35,642 --> 00:08:37,708 Hell, no! 137 00:08:37,710 --> 00:08:39,476 You're not paying a rent 'cause you don't have a job 138 00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:41,077 and you don't have any money. 139 00:08:41,079 --> 00:08:43,779 You're out of school and you live in this house, you pay rent! 140 00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:05,900 Jim! Yo, Jim! 141 00:09:05,902 --> 00:09:07,935 Jim, wake up! 142 00:09:07,937 --> 00:09:10,271 Hey, get up! 143 00:09:12,675 --> 00:09:14,574 Get up! 144 00:09:19,013 --> 00:09:22,147 You know, getting this job, 145 00:09:22,149 --> 00:09:24,282 restoring your faith and pride in me 146 00:09:24,284 --> 00:09:26,350 is a number-one priority right now, Dad. 147 00:09:26,352 --> 00:09:29,720 Priority ought to be making something of yourself. 148 00:09:29,722 --> 00:09:31,455 That's right up there. 149 00:09:31,457 --> 00:09:35,691 When I was your age, I couldn't wait to get out of my folks' house. 150 00:09:37,561 --> 00:09:39,193 I love living at home. 151 00:09:49,838 --> 00:09:53,238 I don't think this is such a great place for me to work, Dad. 152 00:09:55,875 --> 00:09:57,541 Okay, 153 00:09:57,543 --> 00:10:00,744 say I don't get this job, hypothetically. 154 00:10:01,379 --> 00:10:02,911 Are you gonna be upset? 155 00:10:02,913 --> 00:10:06,313 You don't get this job, you're on a bus to St. Louis. 156 00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:08,081 St. Louis? 157 00:10:08,083 --> 00:10:10,817 Uncle Jeff's offered to put you to work in his garden shop. 158 00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,718 I don't know anything about gardening. 159 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,153 You will learn! 160 00:10:15,155 --> 00:10:18,523 I'm getting a distinct feeling that you want me out of your life. 161 00:10:18,525 --> 00:10:21,558 I don't want you out of my life. I want you out of my house. 162 00:10:23,428 --> 00:10:25,060 Wow. Out! 163 00:10:25,062 --> 00:10:26,895 Okay, okay, okay. 164 00:10:42,845 --> 00:10:45,612 Are you sure I can't offer you a coffee and a bear claw? 165 00:10:45,614 --> 00:10:47,180 No, thanks. 166 00:10:47,182 --> 00:10:48,915 They're very good, they're fresh. 167 00:10:48,917 --> 00:10:50,683 No, I'm fine. 168 00:10:50,685 --> 00:10:52,685 You don't want one, and I don't need one. 169 00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:55,453 Right! 170 00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,254 I love the darn things, though, I tell you. 171 00:10:57,256 --> 00:10:59,556 You know, I got a sweet tooth, I could eat those things by the dozen. 172 00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:01,257 By the looks of it, I have. 173 00:11:01,259 --> 00:11:02,891 Right. 174 00:11:02,893 --> 00:11:06,561 I tell ya, I'm so excited that you're considering 175 00:11:06,563 --> 00:11:09,096 joining the Target team. We all are. 176 00:11:10,466 --> 00:11:12,032 I appreciate that. 177 00:11:12,034 --> 00:11:15,535 Good, then, let's cut right to the chase, shall we? 178 00:11:16,704 --> 00:11:20,105 We're prepared to offer you $42,500 a year, 179 00:11:20,107 --> 00:11:22,273 with a full benefit package. 180 00:11:22,975 --> 00:11:25,041 That's dental, medical, 181 00:11:25,043 --> 00:11:27,143 profit sharing, pension, 182 00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:29,979 expense account, car allowance, 183 00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,914 vacation, of course, 184 00:11:31,916 --> 00:11:35,284 and any and all relocating expenses. 185 00:11:35,286 --> 00:11:39,821 This is our first, best, and last offer. What do you think? 186 00:11:40,790 --> 00:11:42,623 Well... 187 00:11:42,625 --> 00:11:45,826 C.D., with all due respect, 188 00:11:45,828 --> 00:11:47,561 I came in here 189 00:11:47,563 --> 00:11:50,463 with the number 45 in my mind, and... 190 00:12:12,582 --> 00:12:15,115 You've got me. 191 00:12:16,184 --> 00:12:17,750 45 it is. 192 00:12:19,253 --> 00:12:20,652 Welcome aboard. 193 00:12:20,654 --> 00:12:22,086 Thank you. 194 00:12:22,088 --> 00:12:23,253 I'd like to buy you lunch. 195 00:12:23,255 --> 00:12:24,654 No, no, no. 196 00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:26,822 Your money's no good here. Lunch is mine, all right? 197 00:12:26,824 --> 00:12:28,323 I'm not going to argue with you. 198 00:12:28,325 --> 00:12:30,205 You better not. I'm bigger than you are. 199 00:12:31,294 --> 00:12:33,260 Hang on a second, will you? I told her to hold my calls. 200 00:12:33,262 --> 00:12:34,794 Get it. 201 00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:36,328 Yeah, Peg. 202 00:12:37,264 --> 00:12:39,931 No, it's okay. 203 00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,465 No, he's right here with me now. 204 00:12:41,467 --> 00:12:42,966 Hi, Peg. 205 00:12:42,968 --> 00:12:45,268 We just closed the deal. 206 00:12:45,270 --> 00:12:49,504 It was a slam-dunk, too. I got him for 45. 207 00:12:54,644 --> 00:12:56,510 No, he's right here. 208 00:12:57,980 --> 00:13:00,679 What do you mean, he missed the plane? 209 00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,416 Then who the hell am I talking to? 210 00:13:07,319 --> 00:13:09,352 Lord! 211 00:13:10,988 --> 00:13:14,355 I'll... I'll get back to you. 212 00:13:15,891 --> 00:13:17,690 Hey, I know a great little Italian place 213 00:13:17,692 --> 00:13:20,626 that has the best pasta primatonis in the... 214 00:13:20,628 --> 00:13:22,461 Excuse me a minute, will you, please? 215 00:13:22,463 --> 00:13:23,895 Lovely wife you have there. 216 00:13:23,897 --> 00:13:25,296 Dodge, James? 217 00:13:29,967 --> 00:13:32,701 James, I'm afraid we have a little misunderstanding here. 218 00:13:32,703 --> 00:13:35,370 You see, I thought you came in for the... 219 00:13:35,372 --> 00:13:38,706 Operations Manager's job. 220 00:13:38,708 --> 00:13:41,208 I have you down here as night cleanup boy. 221 00:13:44,546 --> 00:13:46,345 Well, I'm a little overpaid 222 00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:49,247 for night cleanup boy, wouldn't you say, C.D.? 223 00:13:50,984 --> 00:13:54,518 The truth is, James, I can offer you $4.44 per hour. 224 00:13:58,056 --> 00:14:01,523 Four, four... $4.44... 225 00:14:01,525 --> 00:14:03,324 $4.44. 226 00:14:03,326 --> 00:14:05,259 What about the benefits? 227 00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,661 Two fifteen-minute breaks and a half hour for lunch. 228 00:14:09,031 --> 00:14:12,899 And the title is, night cleanup boy? 229 00:14:13,601 --> 00:14:14,899 Yes. 230 00:14:17,403 --> 00:14:19,202 I'll take it. 231 00:14:19,204 --> 00:14:21,337 And, lose the curl. 232 00:14:22,873 --> 00:14:24,973 Welcome to the Target team. Thank you. 233 00:14:26,676 --> 00:14:29,943 So the parrot says, "Of course, I can talk. Can you fly?" 234 00:14:34,515 --> 00:14:38,349 I don't want any damn Japanese automobile plant in this town. 235 00:14:41,187 --> 00:14:43,187 It means jobs. 236 00:14:44,356 --> 00:14:46,289 I don't need a job. 237 00:14:46,291 --> 00:14:49,358 Your governor's tryin' to use my town as a political chip. 238 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,093 Gentlemen, I resent that. 239 00:14:51,095 --> 00:14:54,996 Well, there could be some specific benefits for you personally. 240 00:14:58,934 --> 00:15:00,799 Josie! 241 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,570 Yeah? Come here. 242 00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,772 I want you to meet these gentlemen from the governor's office. 243 00:15:09,941 --> 00:15:12,107 Come on in here, honey. 244 00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:29,989 Honey, I want you to meet Bill... 245 00:15:29,991 --> 00:15:31,323 Bob. 246 00:15:32,559 --> 00:15:34,292 Bob Bosenbeck. 247 00:15:37,629 --> 00:15:38,794 Bob. 248 00:15:54,743 --> 00:15:55,976 Dave. 249 00:15:59,114 --> 00:16:01,414 My pleasure, Dave. 250 00:16:03,351 --> 00:16:05,117 Right. Dave Hockner. 251 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,354 I don't want to interrupt your meeting. 252 00:16:09,356 --> 00:16:11,456 Very nice to meet both of you. 253 00:16:11,758 --> 00:16:13,524 Bye. 254 00:16:13,526 --> 00:16:15,192 Bye. 255 00:16:20,032 --> 00:16:21,831 Josie? 256 00:16:23,234 --> 00:16:24,800 Josie! 257 00:16:32,373 --> 00:16:35,607 You pull another stunt like you did today, 258 00:16:35,609 --> 00:16:38,443 I'll beat the livin' daylights outta you! 259 00:16:59,729 --> 00:17:00,894 All right, out! 260 00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:08,000 Out of here, man. Get out of here! 261 00:17:08,002 --> 00:17:09,134 Get out of the car! 262 00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:30,982 Right on time! 263 00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:36,253 Everything's going as planned. 264 00:17:37,422 --> 00:17:38,654 You ordered a limousine? 265 00:17:40,090 --> 00:17:42,223 Of course. 266 00:17:43,025 --> 00:17:44,424 My first day at work. 267 00:17:44,426 --> 00:17:47,493 How's it gonna look if my dad drives me? 268 00:17:47,495 --> 00:17:49,595 A little treat to myself for getting the job. 269 00:17:49,597 --> 00:17:51,496 It was only 50 bucks. 270 00:17:53,999 --> 00:17:55,331 Right on time, Henry. 271 00:17:55,333 --> 00:17:56,999 Yes, sir. 272 00:17:57,001 --> 00:17:58,767 Henry, the sign... 273 00:17:58,769 --> 00:18:00,435 Very well, sir. 274 00:18:03,772 --> 00:18:05,838 Ciao! 275 00:18:12,345 --> 00:18:14,845 Hey, Jim, where are you going? 276 00:18:15,714 --> 00:18:18,281 Hello, boys. 277 00:18:18,283 --> 00:18:20,716 Going to Paris on an F-14. 278 00:18:20,718 --> 00:18:23,618 Got a little peace meeting with the Vice-President of Bulgaria. 279 00:18:23,620 --> 00:18:26,454 Business, you know? Then I'm going to Venice, 280 00:18:26,456 --> 00:18:29,123 for a big spaghetti dinner with the princess of Austria. 281 00:18:29,125 --> 00:18:31,792 A beautiful lady... Really big bones. 282 00:18:31,794 --> 00:18:34,561 Remember to brush your teeth, Melvin! 283 00:18:34,563 --> 00:18:37,797 You, too, Sidney! Adios! 284 00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:42,268 Jim is so cool! 285 00:20:11,925 --> 00:20:12,941 Bobby. 286 00:20:12,942 --> 00:20:13,958 Got a loose tile here. First thing in the morning, 287 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,427 I want you to take some epoxy cement and take care of this. 288 00:20:16,429 --> 00:20:18,562 I don't need a lawsuit, okay? 289 00:20:18,564 --> 00:20:21,064 I've got enough to worry about. 290 00:20:22,767 --> 00:20:24,066 Who's he? 291 00:20:24,068 --> 00:20:25,667 Attention shoppers. 292 00:20:25,669 --> 00:20:27,502 The store will be closing in five minutes. 293 00:20:27,504 --> 00:20:30,805 Please bring all your purchases to the front. Thank you. 294 00:21:09,645 --> 00:21:10,877 Are you a slacker? 295 00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:15,047 No, Presbyterian. 296 00:21:15,049 --> 00:21:17,349 What did you say? What did you say? 297 00:21:17,351 --> 00:21:19,451 I'm askin' you a simple question. 298 00:21:19,453 --> 00:21:21,686 Are you lazy? No, sir. 299 00:21:21,688 --> 00:21:24,021 'Cause the last guy that wore that uniform was a lazy slacker, 300 00:21:24,023 --> 00:21:25,856 and I fired his no-good butt. 301 00:21:27,226 --> 00:21:29,993 About the uniform, 302 00:21:29,995 --> 00:21:31,627 will I be getting my own? 303 00:21:31,629 --> 00:21:34,062 You work out, which I doubt, 304 00:21:34,064 --> 00:21:35,797 you can have yourself a new name patch. 305 00:21:40,869 --> 00:21:43,502 Would I be able to have it laundered? 306 00:21:43,504 --> 00:21:45,470 It smells a little bit like Darnell. 307 00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:48,473 I don't think you know who you're messin' with, boy. 308 00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:50,975 Right, after you clean the ladies' and men's crappers, 309 00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:53,143 I'm talking about you'd better be able to eat off those bowls. 310 00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:54,978 Sure. You clean my coffeemaker, 311 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,546 then you wax my desk. 312 00:21:56,548 --> 00:21:58,814 Clean what? 313 00:21:58,816 --> 00:22:00,549 You clean my coffeemaker and wax my desk! 314 00:22:00,551 --> 00:22:02,584 I got it! 315 00:22:02,586 --> 00:22:04,819 You, sweep the aisles, startin' with health and beauty, 316 00:22:04,821 --> 00:22:06,687 and you work your way over to juniors and misses. 317 00:22:06,689 --> 00:22:09,656 Ups and downs, leaving your debris in the cross aisles. 318 00:22:09,658 --> 00:22:10,823 So I start with health and beauty... 319 00:22:10,825 --> 00:22:12,157 What did I just say? 320 00:22:12,159 --> 00:22:14,192 I just said to start with health and beauty, okay? 321 00:22:14,194 --> 00:22:15,826 Then you do your cross aisles. 322 00:22:15,828 --> 00:22:17,661 That'll bring your dustbin into play. 323 00:22:17,663 --> 00:22:19,929 You take the debris. You load it into the dustbin. 324 00:22:19,931 --> 00:22:22,831 You take the dustbin out to the loading dock area 325 00:22:22,833 --> 00:22:24,732 and you empty it into the receptacle. 326 00:22:24,734 --> 00:22:26,033 You got that? Easy as pie. 327 00:22:26,035 --> 00:22:27,667 Yeah. 328 00:22:27,669 --> 00:22:29,669 Now, I was employed for a brief period at Del Taco, and... 329 00:22:29,671 --> 00:22:32,505 I don't care about your Del Taco experiences, boy. 330 00:22:32,507 --> 00:22:35,007 All right. Now, we've got this little problem in this store with grazers. 331 00:22:35,009 --> 00:22:36,775 You know what a grazer is, boy? 332 00:22:36,777 --> 00:22:39,010 Is that some sort of farm term? 333 00:22:39,012 --> 00:22:40,778 A grazer is a customer or an employee 334 00:22:40,780 --> 00:22:42,513 that eats off the shelves, okay? 335 00:22:42,515 --> 00:22:45,349 Sort of similar to a cow grazing in a field of grass. 336 00:22:45,351 --> 00:22:47,951 Only this isn't a field of grass, okay, and you're not a cow. 337 00:22:47,953 --> 00:22:50,586 There's no eatin'. You're not being paid to eat, so don't! 338 00:22:50,588 --> 00:22:52,054 You got any questions? 339 00:22:52,056 --> 00:22:53,455 Not right offhand, no. 340 00:22:53,457 --> 00:22:54,956 You think you can handle it? 341 00:22:54,958 --> 00:22:56,390 I'll give it the old college try. 342 00:22:56,392 --> 00:22:57,991 Don't touch me! 343 00:22:58,927 --> 00:23:01,360 Well, despite our age difference, 344 00:23:01,362 --> 00:23:03,028 I think I'm really gonna enjoy working with you. 345 00:23:03,030 --> 00:23:05,230 Let's get something straight, boy. You ain't workin' with me. 346 00:23:05,232 --> 00:23:07,198 You're working for me. 347 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,867 Still, I think it's gonna be fun being around you. 348 00:23:09,869 --> 00:23:11,435 Yeah, I ain't gonna be anywhere near you. 349 00:23:11,437 --> 00:23:13,937 I'm gonna be home pumping the pasties out of Colleen Jackson. 350 00:23:13,939 --> 00:23:15,371 You're not going to be here? 351 00:23:15,373 --> 00:23:16,705 Hell, no. 352 00:23:18,308 --> 00:23:21,976 I'm gonna be here by myself? 353 00:23:21,978 --> 00:23:25,712 Yeah, that's right! And you'd better stay out of the ladies' undergoods. 354 00:23:27,248 --> 00:23:30,616 Wait a minute. Nobody told me I'd be here alone. 355 00:23:30,618 --> 00:23:32,050 What are you doing? 356 00:23:32,052 --> 00:23:33,418 Saving money. 357 00:23:33,420 --> 00:23:35,386 Wait a minute. Are you turning off the lights? 358 00:23:35,388 --> 00:23:37,888 In 25 seconds, you got light in every third aisle. 359 00:23:37,890 --> 00:23:39,122 When the sun comes up, you turn off 360 00:23:39,124 --> 00:23:40,964 all the lights. You understand? 361 00:23:41,259 --> 00:23:44,226 No, I don't understand. Just hold on a second! 362 00:23:44,228 --> 00:23:45,994 I'm locking you in. 363 00:23:45,996 --> 00:23:49,363 When I come back at 7:00 to open up, I'll let you out. 364 00:23:51,633 --> 00:23:53,633 You're locking me in? 365 00:23:53,635 --> 00:23:55,234 What do you take me for, a fool? 366 00:23:55,236 --> 00:23:58,737 Nobody gets a set of keys on their first night. Nobody! 367 00:23:58,739 --> 00:24:00,705 Now, get to work! 368 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:02,639 What if there's a fire? 369 00:24:02,641 --> 00:24:04,401 Then the fire department will come. 370 00:24:04,676 --> 00:24:05,975 I could perish! 371 00:24:05,977 --> 00:24:07,443 Boo! 372 00:24:07,445 --> 00:24:10,946 You can't do this. I'm locked in, alone, in the dark. 373 00:24:10,948 --> 00:24:13,014 That was not a part of my employment agreement. 374 00:26:30,750 --> 00:26:32,782 9:17? 375 00:26:34,418 --> 00:26:37,118 Time for a break. 376 00:27:02,744 --> 00:27:04,142 Hello. 377 00:27:06,412 --> 00:27:08,044 Anybody out there? 378 00:27:08,046 --> 00:27:10,012 When I accepted the... 379 00:27:10,014 --> 00:27:13,281 The post of President, grand Pooh-Bah of Target, 380 00:27:15,084 --> 00:27:17,651 realizing that I have brought 381 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,120 meaningfulness and peace and happiness, 382 00:27:21,122 --> 00:27:23,489 into the lives of thousands of people. 383 00:27:24,191 --> 00:27:26,858 Jim Dodge, of Monroe, 384 00:27:26,860 --> 00:27:28,860 top moneymaker on the tour. 385 00:27:28,862 --> 00:27:31,362 His father's here today, Bud Dodge, 386 00:27:31,364 --> 00:27:33,230 and sister Penny, a sad, sad story, 387 00:27:33,232 --> 00:27:36,366 was just admitted to university hospital. 388 00:27:36,368 --> 00:27:40,203 While trying to pop a zit, her head mysteriously exploded. 389 00:28:04,590 --> 00:28:06,289 Dad! Hi! 390 00:28:06,291 --> 00:28:08,224 Jim, do you know what time it is? 391 00:28:08,226 --> 00:28:12,094 You know, I'm starting to think about Christmas and gifts, 392 00:28:12,096 --> 00:28:15,563 because I'm in a big store and I'm starting to get a lot of gift ideas. 393 00:28:15,565 --> 00:28:16,897 Hi. 394 00:28:16,899 --> 00:28:18,431 Mom, hi! 395 00:28:18,433 --> 00:28:20,399 How's it going? 396 00:28:20,401 --> 00:28:23,568 Well, I finished all my janitor stuff, I've finished most of it. 397 00:28:23,570 --> 00:28:25,436 I've got to save some stuff for later. 398 00:28:25,438 --> 00:28:27,504 But it's easy as hell. 399 00:28:27,506 --> 00:28:30,240 Honey, it's a little late. 400 00:28:30,242 --> 00:28:33,343 Yeah, it is kind of late. Well, sleep tight. 401 00:28:34,679 --> 00:28:36,779 See you in the morning. 402 00:28:36,781 --> 00:28:38,347 Love you, too. 403 00:28:43,586 --> 00:28:45,752 Mr. James Dodge! 404 00:29:41,575 --> 00:29:44,709 He can't be happy as the night cleanup boy. 405 00:29:46,546 --> 00:29:48,279 Sweetheart... 406 00:29:49,181 --> 00:29:51,814 He wants us to call him a janitor. 407 00:29:54,318 --> 00:29:58,586 Maybe I should have spent less time harping and more time helping. 408 00:29:59,488 --> 00:30:01,888 Harpin' and helpin' him what? 409 00:30:03,091 --> 00:30:07,326 Harpin' on him to leave, and helpin' him become the... 410 00:30:07,328 --> 00:30:10,429 Good, mature, productive person he could be. 411 00:31:40,585 --> 00:31:42,318 Are you all right? 412 00:31:43,988 --> 00:31:45,854 Yes, I'm fine, thanks. 413 00:31:45,856 --> 00:31:46,921 And you? 414 00:31:48,524 --> 00:31:49,990 What are you doing here? 415 00:31:51,593 --> 00:31:53,926 I work here. 416 00:31:53,928 --> 00:31:55,861 Have a good one, Officer Don. 417 00:31:55,863 --> 00:31:59,830 Okay, Carl. Keep in touch. Let me know if you hear anything. 418 00:31:59,832 --> 00:32:01,398 You bet. 419 00:32:03,301 --> 00:32:05,634 Well, sir, she didn't leave on the bus. 420 00:32:05,636 --> 00:32:08,837 Apparently, she isn't here. Let's go look for her someplace else. 421 00:32:08,839 --> 00:32:12,273 She wouldn't be dumb enough to thumb, would she? 422 00:32:12,275 --> 00:32:15,775 Does she have any friends that she might have run off with? 423 00:32:16,344 --> 00:32:18,110 Boyfriends? 424 00:32:18,112 --> 00:32:21,613 Would you just get in the car so we can go look for the girl, please? 425 00:32:21,615 --> 00:32:23,648 I'm tired, I had to get out of the bed, 426 00:32:23,650 --> 00:32:25,683 I haven't had any coffee. I don't feel good. 427 00:32:25,685 --> 00:32:27,051 My daughter, I don't know where the hell she is. 428 00:32:27,053 --> 00:32:28,819 And you're standing by the car there, 429 00:32:28,821 --> 00:32:30,654 sounding like some goddamn preacher or something! 430 00:32:30,656 --> 00:32:32,288 Come on. Get in the car! 431 00:32:34,058 --> 00:32:35,290 Prick. 432 00:32:40,163 --> 00:32:42,463 Are you sure you didn't hurt yourself? 433 00:32:42,465 --> 00:32:45,165 No. Are you kidding? 434 00:32:45,167 --> 00:32:47,700 No, I'm fine. I'm fine. 435 00:32:47,702 --> 00:32:49,134 Can I ask what you were doing? 436 00:32:49,136 --> 00:32:51,136 I was roller-skating. 437 00:32:52,005 --> 00:32:53,671 I know, but why? 438 00:32:53,673 --> 00:32:55,806 Why not? 439 00:32:55,808 --> 00:32:59,476 I got bored. One thing led to another and... 440 00:32:59,478 --> 00:33:02,579 And I'm roller-skating in my shorts. 441 00:33:02,581 --> 00:33:04,881 Better question would be, "What are you doing here?" 442 00:33:05,583 --> 00:33:07,316 Shopping. 443 00:33:07,318 --> 00:33:09,918 Well, we've been closed for five hours. 444 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,186 Yeah. I fell asleep. 445 00:33:12,188 --> 00:33:13,687 While shopping? 446 00:33:13,689 --> 00:33:15,321 No, in the ladies' dressing room. 447 00:33:15,323 --> 00:33:18,891 That makes no sense. You're a high-profile young ingenue. 448 00:33:18,893 --> 00:33:20,692 I was debating... What? 449 00:33:20,694 --> 00:33:24,095 Whether or not to get arrested for shoplifting. 450 00:33:24,097 --> 00:33:27,264 Doesn't your father own, like, $10 million worth of real estate in this town? 451 00:33:27,266 --> 00:33:29,065 Well, it's not my fault. 452 00:33:29,067 --> 00:33:30,833 No, no, I didn't imply such. 453 00:33:30,835 --> 00:33:34,069 It just seems funny that someone of your... 454 00:33:34,071 --> 00:33:35,837 Wealth? 455 00:33:35,839 --> 00:33:37,505 If you will. Would be shoplifting... 456 00:33:37,507 --> 00:33:39,974 I didn't do it. I chickened out. 457 00:33:40,910 --> 00:33:43,610 Would consider shoplifting. 458 00:33:43,612 --> 00:33:47,346 It's a long, dull, self-indulgent, highly unromantic story 459 00:33:47,348 --> 00:33:49,848 about an overbearing father, 460 00:33:49,850 --> 00:33:52,050 deceased mother and brother 461 00:33:52,052 --> 00:33:55,686 and a completely confused girl who looks a little like me. 462 00:34:33,455 --> 00:34:36,255 I sure am glad you dropped by. 463 00:34:36,257 --> 00:34:39,057 I was getting pretty tired of being with myself. 464 00:34:42,095 --> 00:34:45,896 I guess... I guess, I'm what you call a people person. 465 00:34:49,067 --> 00:34:50,299 What are you cooking? 466 00:34:50,301 --> 00:34:51,466 Hobo Chicken. 467 00:34:51,468 --> 00:34:53,835 It's a glazed chicken in wine sauce 468 00:34:53,837 --> 00:34:56,771 with vegetables and skin-on potatoes. 469 00:34:56,773 --> 00:34:58,973 Silverware... Silverware... 470 00:35:02,278 --> 00:35:04,244 It's only 210 calories. 471 00:35:04,246 --> 00:35:06,512 And I don't know if you're watching 472 00:35:06,514 --> 00:35:08,747 your figure, but I sure am. 473 00:35:08,749 --> 00:35:10,949 If you can just grab a serving spoon 474 00:35:10,951 --> 00:35:13,084 over there, I think we'll be set. 475 00:35:18,357 --> 00:35:20,523 Keep your distance from these things. 476 00:35:20,525 --> 00:35:22,758 I think it's safe to keep five feet. 477 00:35:27,764 --> 00:35:29,929 I think they're about done. 478 00:35:32,099 --> 00:35:34,498 Well, dining room's right this way. 479 00:35:41,671 --> 00:35:45,271 I think my father poured the cement for your pool. 480 00:35:46,707 --> 00:35:49,707 He's a cement contractor. Good man. 481 00:35:50,843 --> 00:35:52,375 Bud Dodge? 482 00:35:52,377 --> 00:35:55,177 My mother works at Hoenicker's over Christmas, part time. 483 00:35:55,179 --> 00:35:57,045 My sister's a teller at the bank. 484 00:35:57,047 --> 00:35:59,947 My brother's in grade school. He's not employed at the moment. 485 00:35:59,949 --> 00:36:02,683 I used to work at the animal shelter. 486 00:36:02,685 --> 00:36:06,186 But I was terminated. And now... Now I'm working here. 487 00:36:08,657 --> 00:36:10,289 Do you always talk this much? 488 00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,561 Yeah, I guess I do. 489 00:36:15,563 --> 00:36:17,629 I like talking to people. 490 00:36:19,599 --> 00:36:22,066 I was thinking maybe you should go into sales. 491 00:36:22,068 --> 00:36:23,333 I've actually tried that. 492 00:36:30,741 --> 00:36:33,108 Some fresh ground pepper? 493 00:36:33,110 --> 00:36:34,542 Please. 494 00:36:37,013 --> 00:36:38,846 Some people don't like a lot of pepper. 495 00:36:38,848 --> 00:36:40,647 Say when. That's fine. 496 00:36:41,850 --> 00:36:43,616 I happen to really like it a lot. 497 00:36:43,618 --> 00:36:47,152 I think it enhances the natural flavor of the chicken. 498 00:36:50,757 --> 00:36:53,491 I hope you don't take this the wrong way. 499 00:36:54,327 --> 00:36:56,460 I've had dreams about you. 500 00:36:56,462 --> 00:36:58,661 You've had dreams about me? 501 00:37:00,264 --> 00:37:01,763 Not recently. 502 00:37:01,765 --> 00:37:03,931 I've had dreams about you in the past. 503 00:37:03,933 --> 00:37:06,433 I've had dreams about entire cheerleading squads, 504 00:37:06,435 --> 00:37:08,501 so don't get me wrong. 505 00:37:08,503 --> 00:37:10,769 It's kid stuff, you know. How 'bout you? 506 00:37:10,771 --> 00:37:12,237 Do I dream? 507 00:37:14,608 --> 00:37:16,541 That's about all I do. 508 00:37:30,489 --> 00:37:34,023 - Raisin' a kid's hard work. - You got any kids? 509 00:37:34,025 --> 00:37:36,892 No, sir. No, sir. And from listening to you talking 510 00:37:36,894 --> 00:37:38,793 and from observin' this, 511 00:37:38,795 --> 00:37:42,029 I'm kinda grateful old Emily turned up infertile. 512 00:37:59,180 --> 00:38:01,980 Shouldn't you be cleaning up the store? 513 00:38:02,816 --> 00:38:04,315 I got plenty of time. 514 00:38:04,884 --> 00:38:06,916 Big store. Huge. 515 00:38:08,819 --> 00:38:10,285 Always smoke cigars? 516 00:38:11,855 --> 00:38:14,222 I enjoy a good one after a fine meal. 517 00:38:14,224 --> 00:38:16,224 It settles the stomach. 518 00:38:17,393 --> 00:38:19,059 You're the town liar, right? 519 00:38:23,931 --> 00:38:25,096 What? 520 00:38:25,098 --> 00:38:29,166 I'm sorry. That really came out wrong. 521 00:38:29,168 --> 00:38:30,834 I don't see how something like that could come out right. 522 00:38:30,836 --> 00:38:32,268 I guess I meant that's what people call you. 523 00:38:32,270 --> 00:38:33,669 But I didn't mean to imply that it's actually true. 524 00:38:33,671 --> 00:38:34,870 People are actually calling me that? 525 00:38:34,872 --> 00:38:36,504 I thought you knew. 526 00:38:36,506 --> 00:38:38,005 Know what? That I was the town liar? 527 00:38:38,007 --> 00:38:39,239 You didn't? 528 00:38:39,241 --> 00:38:40,573 No. I'm not. 529 00:38:40,575 --> 00:38:42,174 I think that you might have the wrong information. 530 00:38:42,176 --> 00:38:43,341 I didn't mean to offend you. 531 00:38:44,610 --> 00:38:46,076 Did you think that was a compliment? 532 00:38:46,078 --> 00:38:48,244 No. No. And I apologize. 533 00:38:48,246 --> 00:38:50,879 You know, I can't repeat things like that. 534 00:38:50,881 --> 00:38:53,448 Don't think about it. It's all right. 535 00:38:53,450 --> 00:38:56,050 As I said, I think you've got the wrong information. 536 00:38:56,052 --> 00:38:58,052 But, if people are calling me that, 537 00:38:58,054 --> 00:39:00,687 it's only because they're small, cheap, petty, and jealous. 538 00:39:00,689 --> 00:39:03,189 Small towns are notorious for that kinda thing. 539 00:39:03,191 --> 00:39:04,423 I'm sure there's a word for me. 540 00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:05,857 Yeah. Sure. 541 00:39:05,859 --> 00:39:07,058 What do they call me? 542 00:39:07,060 --> 00:39:08,292 A tease. 543 00:39:08,294 --> 00:39:09,693 Tease? 544 00:39:11,563 --> 00:39:13,963 Yeah, I can see that. 545 00:39:15,366 --> 00:39:17,966 Actually, I never teased. 546 00:39:17,968 --> 00:39:20,301 This is becoming amusing. 547 00:39:20,303 --> 00:39:22,202 Who exactly calls me a liar? 548 00:39:22,204 --> 00:39:24,070 Everybody. 549 00:39:24,072 --> 00:39:25,704 Everybody. No, not everybody. 550 00:39:25,706 --> 00:39:27,205 I'm sure there's some old people in town. 551 00:39:27,207 --> 00:39:28,639 Right. 552 00:39:34,913 --> 00:39:36,612 Well, what do you think? 553 00:39:36,614 --> 00:39:38,279 What do I think? 554 00:39:40,216 --> 00:39:42,082 Do you think I'm a liar? 555 00:39:42,084 --> 00:39:44,283 Well, I don't know you well enough. 556 00:39:45,986 --> 00:39:47,986 You've known me for almost 17 years. 557 00:39:47,988 --> 00:39:50,388 We went to the same schools from kindergarten on up. 558 00:39:50,390 --> 00:39:53,123 I knew of you, but I didn't know you personally. 559 00:39:54,493 --> 00:39:56,459 That's always bothered me. 560 00:39:56,461 --> 00:40:00,128 I mean, that old "in-out, us-them" thing. 561 00:40:00,130 --> 00:40:01,596 That's the way it's been. 562 00:40:01,598 --> 00:40:02,997 I know. It's always bothered me. 563 00:40:02,999 --> 00:40:05,432 Sure, but it's water over the dam now. 564 00:40:05,434 --> 00:40:08,735 Yeah, but it's your dam and my water. 565 00:40:08,737 --> 00:40:10,503 I got crapped on a lot of years. 566 00:40:10,505 --> 00:40:12,738 I just meant that it's in the past. 567 00:40:12,740 --> 00:40:15,574 Well, the present is a result of the past. 568 00:40:15,576 --> 00:40:17,809 I look at my high school yearbook, 569 00:40:17,811 --> 00:40:20,912 and I don't see four fabulous years. 570 00:40:20,914 --> 00:40:23,114 Actually, what I'm reminded of is what it feels like 571 00:40:23,116 --> 00:40:25,249 to have my underwear yanked up my ass 572 00:40:25,251 --> 00:40:27,618 by some big football player with arms like telephone poles. 573 00:40:27,620 --> 00:40:30,153 Okay, and where are those guys now? 574 00:40:31,756 --> 00:40:36,291 I know they're not working nights at Target. I'll tell you that. 575 00:40:36,293 --> 00:40:39,093 Yeah. You know, 576 00:40:39,095 --> 00:40:41,095 I look at my yearbook 577 00:40:41,097 --> 00:40:44,397 and I see four fabulous years 578 00:40:45,867 --> 00:40:47,800 that are gonna be the highlight of my life. 579 00:40:47,802 --> 00:40:49,935 Here's what it's like... 580 00:40:49,937 --> 00:40:53,204 First, you feel a hand going down the back of your pants 581 00:40:53,206 --> 00:40:54,939 and tighten around the elastic waistband... 582 00:40:54,941 --> 00:40:56,607 Highlight. 583 00:40:56,609 --> 00:40:58,442 Sometimes I'd actually see stars. 584 00:40:58,444 --> 00:41:00,143 It's not going to get any better. 585 00:41:00,145 --> 00:41:02,678 And if I was particularly unlucky, 586 00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,147 my shorts would like rip completely free 587 00:41:05,149 --> 00:41:06,548 and I would get this really drastic fabric... 588 00:41:06,550 --> 00:41:07,882 Jim? Do you hear me? 589 00:41:10,820 --> 00:41:12,019 Yeah. 590 00:41:15,124 --> 00:41:19,025 I don't really care about a graphic description of a childhood prank. 591 00:41:19,027 --> 00:41:21,360 Hey, that prank was a motif in my life. 592 00:41:25,832 --> 00:41:29,500 You know, I'm locked in this store here 593 00:41:29,502 --> 00:41:32,503 because I didn't have the guts to steal a skirt, 594 00:41:32,505 --> 00:41:35,339 so I could get arrested and embarrass my father 595 00:41:35,341 --> 00:41:37,908 in this stupid, desperate, childish, 596 00:41:37,910 --> 00:41:40,076 pathetic attempt to leave home. 597 00:41:40,078 --> 00:41:42,645 And you have your underwear yanked up your ass. 598 00:41:42,647 --> 00:41:45,581 I have my entire life yanked up my ass. 599 00:41:47,351 --> 00:41:49,517 Well, you're speaking figuratively. 600 00:41:49,519 --> 00:41:51,585 I was speaking literally. And you're happy. 601 00:41:51,587 --> 00:41:52,886 You know, you're happy. 602 00:41:54,089 --> 00:41:55,655 I'm not happy. 603 00:41:55,657 --> 00:41:57,323 I'm working nights. 604 00:41:57,325 --> 00:41:59,825 Everybody thinks I'm a liar. 605 00:41:59,827 --> 00:42:01,526 My whole family's laughing at me. 606 00:42:01,528 --> 00:42:03,728 Reverend Harwell gave me the finger last week. 607 00:42:03,730 --> 00:42:05,096 Okay, okay, you're not happy, 608 00:42:05,098 --> 00:42:06,831 but at least you have some control over your life. 609 00:42:06,833 --> 00:42:08,799 So do you. My father controls my life. 610 00:42:09,668 --> 00:42:11,334 You're over 18. 611 00:42:11,336 --> 00:42:13,269 You can tell him to drop dead, and get on a plane. 612 00:42:13,271 --> 00:42:14,503 So can you. 613 00:42:14,505 --> 00:42:15,637 I don't want to. 614 00:42:17,374 --> 00:42:19,240 I like living at home. 615 00:42:19,242 --> 00:42:20,541 No, you don't. 616 00:42:20,543 --> 00:42:23,410 What am I, a garden snail? 617 00:42:24,513 --> 00:42:26,513 An involuntary muscle in a janitor suit? 618 00:42:26,515 --> 00:42:28,248 I, I know what I want to do. 619 00:42:29,084 --> 00:42:30,683 What could you possibly like 620 00:42:30,685 --> 00:42:33,085 about living at home at your age? 621 00:42:33,087 --> 00:42:37,254 The meals are great. I mean, there's the... There's cable. 622 00:42:38,690 --> 00:42:41,924 The accommodations are excellent, five-star. 623 00:42:41,926 --> 00:42:44,046 What do you care if I'm living at home or not? 624 00:42:45,195 --> 00:42:47,929 Hey, I didn't come here to irritate you. 625 00:42:47,931 --> 00:42:49,597 Well, you're beginning to. 626 00:42:52,868 --> 00:42:55,869 Great. That's really great. 627 00:42:55,871 --> 00:42:58,872 I gotta stop saying those kinds of things. 628 00:42:58,874 --> 00:43:01,541 Those freakin' kids! I knew I couldn't trust 'em. 629 00:43:01,543 --> 00:43:04,710 Town liar. That's a nice rep. Nice rep. 630 00:43:04,712 --> 00:43:06,578 I bet it was Gregory, that little weasel. 631 00:43:06,580 --> 00:43:08,446 Top secret, top secret, I tell 'em, 632 00:43:08,448 --> 00:43:10,214 and they still shoot off their mouths! 633 00:43:10,216 --> 00:43:12,282 If I'd really been a French spy, 634 00:43:12,284 --> 00:43:14,651 those little tots would've gotten me killed! 635 00:43:14,653 --> 00:43:16,619 Piano wire wrapped around my neck. 636 00:43:16,621 --> 00:43:18,287 My testicles shoved down my throat, 637 00:43:18,289 --> 00:43:20,355 a piece of dynamite stuck up my ass. 638 00:43:26,328 --> 00:43:27,693 She's so beautiful. 639 00:43:30,097 --> 00:43:31,663 And I'm the town liar. 640 00:45:15,266 --> 00:45:19,934 Jim, there's no reason to lie right now. 641 00:45:19,936 --> 00:45:22,436 There's no one to impress. 642 00:45:22,438 --> 00:45:24,137 You know, I'm not impressed by a man 643 00:45:24,139 --> 00:45:25,938 telling me he likes living at home. 644 00:45:25,940 --> 00:45:29,341 Excuse me. I'm not lying, 645 00:45:29,343 --> 00:45:31,509 and I'm not trying to impress you. 646 00:45:31,511 --> 00:45:33,711 So, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do. 647 00:45:33,713 --> 00:45:36,180 I have to clean dead flies out of the lighting fixtures. 648 00:45:36,182 --> 00:45:39,449 Okay, okay, my error. I apologize. 649 00:45:39,451 --> 00:45:43,386 It's just that I can't imagine a man, 650 00:45:43,388 --> 00:45:46,755 giving up his independence, his right to mate, 651 00:45:47,457 --> 00:45:49,290 to have a family, 652 00:45:49,292 --> 00:45:52,726 to have children, to build a life for himself, 653 00:45:52,728 --> 00:45:53,960 for good cooking. 654 00:45:53,962 --> 00:45:55,294 Hold on. 655 00:45:55,296 --> 00:45:58,130 I have not given up my right to mate. 656 00:45:58,132 --> 00:46:00,465 I have the right to mate 657 00:46:00,467 --> 00:46:03,534 anytime I feel like mating. 658 00:46:04,236 --> 00:46:06,002 You go out with someone. 659 00:46:06,004 --> 00:46:07,803 You bring her home. 660 00:46:07,805 --> 00:46:09,838 You introduce her to... 661 00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:12,907 Mom, Dad, sis, Billy, 662 00:46:13,509 --> 00:46:15,141 Woofie the dog. 663 00:46:15,143 --> 00:46:17,042 Cocktails in the rumpus room, and then 664 00:46:17,911 --> 00:46:19,577 do it on the bunk bed? 665 00:46:21,513 --> 00:46:23,312 Let's analyze that remark. 666 00:46:23,981 --> 00:46:25,847 First, I don't have a dog, 667 00:46:25,849 --> 00:46:27,515 my brother's not named Billy, 668 00:46:27,517 --> 00:46:30,684 and I don't even have a rumpus room. So I don't even... 669 00:46:30,686 --> 00:46:32,218 You know what I mean. 670 00:46:37,390 --> 00:46:39,957 Yeah, I know what you mean. 671 00:46:41,060 --> 00:46:42,893 Spit on me, make me feel lousy. 672 00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:51,066 Jim? 673 00:46:52,436 --> 00:46:54,669 You said something that wasn't true. 674 00:46:55,538 --> 00:46:57,170 No. 675 00:46:57,172 --> 00:47:01,773 No, I said that I can have sex when I want to, 676 00:47:01,775 --> 00:47:04,609 and I do. I do. 677 00:47:04,611 --> 00:47:07,677 However, I was looking forward to a nice, quiet evening of janitoring. 678 00:47:10,348 --> 00:47:12,388 I don't think you see what I'm getting at. 679 00:47:12,850 --> 00:47:14,783 I see what you're getting at. 680 00:47:14,785 --> 00:47:17,385 I'm a lying monk with an Oedipus complex 681 00:47:17,387 --> 00:47:18,686 and an appetite for home cooking. 682 00:47:18,688 --> 00:47:20,287 Don't forget. You're the indecisive shoplifter. 683 00:47:20,289 --> 00:47:22,289 Yes! Exactly! 684 00:47:22,291 --> 00:47:24,457 I would do anything to be in your shoes. 685 00:47:25,126 --> 00:47:27,693 These are Darnell's shoes. 686 00:47:27,695 --> 00:47:30,328 You know, you have freedom, and you're not using it. 687 00:47:31,531 --> 00:47:33,464 It makes me sad. 688 00:47:33,466 --> 00:47:36,033 Well, you have the collective wealth of the entire town, 689 00:47:36,035 --> 00:47:38,802 and you're trying to get yourself arrested. Now, that makes me sad. 690 00:47:38,804 --> 00:47:40,870 That makes me sad, too. 691 00:47:40,872 --> 00:47:42,204 That's pretty stupid. 692 00:47:42,206 --> 00:47:43,471 It's very stupid. 693 00:47:44,740 --> 00:47:46,706 Are you serious? 694 00:47:46,708 --> 00:47:48,974 I mean, you haven't been drinking? 695 00:47:48,976 --> 00:47:50,775 This isn't the bottle talking? 696 00:47:51,544 --> 00:47:52,876 No. 697 00:47:53,812 --> 00:47:56,545 Then why don't you just talk to the guy? 698 00:47:58,715 --> 00:48:01,615 For the same reason that you can't leave home, 699 00:48:01,617 --> 00:48:03,616 I can't tell my father to go to hell. 700 00:48:05,219 --> 00:48:06,685 Why not? 701 00:48:09,423 --> 00:48:12,290 Because I don't want to be alone. 702 00:48:40,017 --> 00:48:41,649 Mr. McClellan? 703 00:48:43,119 --> 00:48:46,186 You ever have any family problems, you and your daughter? 704 00:48:47,322 --> 00:48:49,354 What the hell do you think this is? 705 00:48:51,191 --> 00:48:52,590 You got a point. 706 00:48:58,464 --> 00:49:00,163 Would you go with me somewhere? 707 00:49:03,134 --> 00:49:04,766 Where? Florida? 708 00:49:05,435 --> 00:49:07,601 Wyoming? Spain? 709 00:49:07,603 --> 00:49:09,836 It doesn't really matter, just away somewhere. 710 00:49:11,272 --> 00:49:12,771 I'd love to. 711 00:49:13,507 --> 00:49:16,174 I just can't afford to be 712 00:49:16,176 --> 00:49:18,309 capricious and carefree like yourself. 713 00:49:18,311 --> 00:49:22,078 I, I've gotta set my sights on something and really go for it. 714 00:49:23,147 --> 00:49:24,613 Night janitor? 715 00:49:25,549 --> 00:49:27,615 It's a beginning. I'm looking at... 716 00:49:27,617 --> 00:49:29,249 It's an end. 717 00:49:31,786 --> 00:49:33,952 Maybe if you had, like, a destination in mind, 718 00:49:33,954 --> 00:49:36,220 that would make all the difference in the world. 719 00:49:37,289 --> 00:49:39,455 Why? 720 00:49:39,457 --> 00:49:41,957 Well, I'm, I'm just not 721 00:49:41,959 --> 00:49:44,326 built to aimlessly roam the world. 722 00:49:44,328 --> 00:49:46,694 I'm too conservative for that. 723 00:49:48,130 --> 00:49:49,996 Well, 724 00:49:49,998 --> 00:49:52,131 I was thinking about Los Angeles. 725 00:49:55,402 --> 00:49:56,634 What for? 726 00:49:56,636 --> 00:49:57,701 Live. Work. 727 00:49:59,404 --> 00:50:01,137 At what? Whatever. 728 00:50:01,873 --> 00:50:03,973 And what about your father? 729 00:50:05,643 --> 00:50:07,509 When I don't die, 730 00:50:07,511 --> 00:50:10,745 he'll realize that I can make it on my own. 731 00:50:10,747 --> 00:50:14,915 If I do, he'll have the satisfaction of knowing that I can't. 732 00:50:14,917 --> 00:50:18,318 If I run and he brings me back, or if I go back on my own, 733 00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:20,019 either way he's just, gonna beat the shit out of me. 734 00:50:20,021 --> 00:50:21,754 So it doesn't really make a difference. 735 00:50:21,756 --> 00:50:23,222 What, literally? 736 00:50:26,893 --> 00:50:27,958 Yeah. 737 00:50:29,328 --> 00:50:30,660 Sad. 738 00:50:31,596 --> 00:50:32,995 Yeah, it's sad. 739 00:50:32,997 --> 00:50:35,397 Until he throws you across the room, it's sad. 740 00:50:36,433 --> 00:50:37,999 I'm just afraid to live with him, 741 00:50:38,001 --> 00:50:39,700 and I'm afraid to live without... You know, 742 00:50:39,702 --> 00:50:42,669 you didn't come to work to hear this stuff. I'm really sorry. 743 00:50:42,671 --> 00:50:44,003 That's all right. 744 00:50:44,005 --> 00:50:45,237 I'm gonna clean this up. 745 00:50:53,380 --> 00:50:55,446 I'm, I'm just surprised. 746 00:50:55,448 --> 00:50:57,414 I thought everything was okay, you know. 747 00:50:58,350 --> 00:50:59,716 I figured you got a nice car, you got 748 00:50:59,718 --> 00:51:01,017 a nice house, you got some money. 749 00:51:01,019 --> 00:51:02,418 Everything's okay. 750 00:51:02,420 --> 00:51:04,186 It should be, 751 00:51:04,188 --> 00:51:05,787 but it's not. 752 00:51:05,789 --> 00:51:07,855 It's twisted, and it's distorted, 753 00:51:07,857 --> 00:51:10,524 and it can't be changed, and it cannot be saved. 754 00:51:18,066 --> 00:51:19,465 I'll go with you. 755 00:51:24,772 --> 00:51:26,304 Really? 756 00:51:27,408 --> 00:51:28,707 Yeah. 757 00:51:30,577 --> 00:51:32,209 We have to get a car. 758 00:51:33,579 --> 00:51:35,412 Let's get through the night, first. 759 00:51:35,414 --> 00:51:36,880 I have money. 760 00:51:36,882 --> 00:51:38,047 How much? 761 00:51:38,049 --> 00:51:39,715 $52,000. 762 00:51:42,186 --> 00:51:43,385 On you? 763 00:51:45,055 --> 00:51:46,820 In my purse. 764 00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,099 $52,000. Wow. 765 00:52:03,335 --> 00:52:05,668 I've never seen so much money in my life. 766 00:52:05,670 --> 00:52:07,969 This is more than my house cost. 767 00:52:09,339 --> 00:52:11,405 Jim, 768 00:52:11,407 --> 00:52:13,607 now that I'm spending the night, 769 00:52:13,609 --> 00:52:15,275 how can I pay you back 770 00:52:15,277 --> 00:52:17,677 for being so cold to you in high school? 771 00:52:20,515 --> 00:52:22,348 Do you need an answer right away? 772 00:52:22,616 --> 00:52:23,915 No. 773 00:52:24,851 --> 00:52:26,750 Sometime before the sun comes up. 774 00:52:30,121 --> 00:52:31,753 Well, 775 00:52:32,689 --> 00:52:34,689 you're probably not going to remember this, 776 00:52:34,924 --> 00:52:37,190 but, 777 00:52:37,192 --> 00:52:39,792 there was a homecoming dance our sophomore year. 778 00:52:41,095 --> 00:52:42,360 Do you remember Mrs. Noble? 779 00:52:43,529 --> 00:52:46,196 Large, hairy gym teacher 780 00:52:46,198 --> 00:52:48,064 with a suspiciously cumbersome groin bulge? 781 00:52:48,066 --> 00:52:49,799 I had her for two years. 782 00:52:49,801 --> 00:52:51,300 Well, she made everybody switch partners 783 00:52:51,302 --> 00:52:52,701 because all the fat girls were dancing together, 784 00:52:52,703 --> 00:52:54,302 and the doinks, myself included, 785 00:52:54,304 --> 00:52:55,870 were standing against the wall, 786 00:52:55,872 --> 00:52:58,072 blowing spit bubbles. Right. 787 00:52:58,074 --> 00:53:03,844 Well, for three-quarters of one verse of a slow song, 788 00:53:05,314 --> 00:53:06,680 we danced together. 789 00:53:08,316 --> 00:53:09,715 You reeked of Stridex. 790 00:53:10,884 --> 00:53:12,617 No, that was Larry Fry. 791 00:53:13,886 --> 00:53:15,218 I'm sorry. 792 00:53:16,487 --> 00:53:17,719 I don't remember. 793 00:53:17,721 --> 00:53:19,754 Well... 794 00:53:19,756 --> 00:53:21,689 You got your hair caught in my braces. 795 00:53:22,391 --> 00:53:23,890 I don't remember. 796 00:53:23,892 --> 00:53:25,291 Well, it's not important. 797 00:53:27,828 --> 00:53:29,260 I had... 798 00:53:29,262 --> 00:53:30,894 Well, I just always... 799 00:53:31,963 --> 00:53:33,963 Dreamed of finishing that dance. 800 00:53:37,234 --> 00:53:38,299 Okay. 801 00:53:41,570 --> 00:53:45,171 Don't, don't feel you have to answer right away. 802 00:53:45,173 --> 00:53:48,641 It's just a small portion of my life that's incomplete. 803 00:53:48,643 --> 00:53:50,909 I thought you were gonna say something different. 804 00:53:57,083 --> 00:53:58,582 Well, 805 00:54:00,452 --> 00:54:02,151 first things first. 806 00:54:18,199 --> 00:54:22,233 ¶ When things go wrong 807 00:54:23,436 --> 00:54:26,370 ¶ As they sometimes will 808 00:54:26,372 --> 00:54:30,941 ¶ When the road you're trudging seems all uphill 809 00:54:34,546 --> 00:54:38,180 ¶ When the funds are low 810 00:54:39,516 --> 00:54:42,783 ¶ And the debts are high 811 00:54:42,785 --> 00:54:47,687 ¶ And you want to smile, but you have to sigh 812 00:54:51,059 --> 00:54:54,360 ¶ When care 813 00:54:54,362 --> 00:54:58,997 ¶ Is pressing you down a bit 814 00:54:58,999 --> 00:55:02,033 ¶ Rest if you must 815 00:55:05,304 --> 00:55:07,970 ¶ But don't you quit 816 00:55:09,807 --> 00:55:12,407 ¶ No 817 00:55:13,076 --> 00:55:16,443 ¶ Don't you quit 818 00:55:17,979 --> 00:55:19,945 ¶ No 819 00:55:35,395 --> 00:55:39,696 ¶ But you never can tell 820 00:55:39,698 --> 00:55:44,033 ¶ How close you are 821 00:55:44,035 --> 00:55:49,638 ¶ It may be near when it seems so far. 822 00:57:06,006 --> 00:57:07,638 Officer Don! 823 00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:09,906 You scared the crap out of me. 824 00:57:09,908 --> 00:57:12,408 I thought it was the custodian. 825 00:57:12,410 --> 00:57:14,510 Jim, what are you doing in there? 826 00:57:14,512 --> 00:57:16,478 I work here now. 827 00:57:21,584 --> 00:57:23,650 You wanna let me in? 828 00:57:23,652 --> 00:57:26,819 I'd love to let you in. I don't have the keys. 829 00:57:26,821 --> 00:57:28,654 I'm locked in here till 7:00 a.m. 830 00:57:29,156 --> 00:57:30,688 What's going on? 831 00:57:30,690 --> 00:57:32,923 Have you seen Josie McClellan? 832 00:57:34,359 --> 00:57:36,692 Of course... 833 00:57:37,494 --> 00:57:41,094 Dark hair, green eyes, beautiful. 834 00:57:41,096 --> 00:57:42,495 Yeah. Of course. 835 00:57:42,497 --> 00:57:43,762 You seen her recently? 836 00:57:45,599 --> 00:57:49,100 Matter of fact, I just saw her yesterday, yeah. 837 00:57:49,102 --> 00:57:51,335 We had a cup of java together. 838 00:57:51,337 --> 00:57:53,537 She come into the store? 839 00:57:53,539 --> 00:57:56,106 I don't know. I only work nights. 840 00:57:56,108 --> 00:57:58,074 Why? Well, 841 00:57:59,210 --> 00:58:01,043 she's missing. 842 00:58:01,045 --> 00:58:04,780 Now, I was looking around this side of town for her and I come past. 843 00:58:04,782 --> 00:58:07,682 I seen that the outside sign's on. 844 00:58:07,684 --> 00:58:10,084 The outside sign's never on. 845 00:58:10,653 --> 00:58:12,452 Yeah. Yeah. 846 00:58:12,454 --> 00:58:14,187 Did you try the library? 847 00:58:14,189 --> 00:58:16,588 Because, you know, maybe she fell asleep reading. 848 00:58:17,824 --> 00:58:19,557 No. 849 00:58:19,559 --> 00:58:22,860 She's probably just screwing somebody the old man don't approve of. 850 00:58:28,633 --> 00:58:30,065 Would you know... 851 00:58:30,067 --> 00:58:34,468 If the custodian comes by to check up on people? 852 00:58:34,470 --> 00:58:37,304 No, I wouldn't think he'd do that, Jimmy. 853 00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:40,407 I feel pretty good now. 854 00:58:49,484 --> 00:58:51,183 I'm sorry, sir. 855 00:58:51,185 --> 00:58:53,485 I had to practice a little therapy. 856 00:58:54,154 --> 00:58:55,887 Boy's in his own world. 857 01:01:28,940 --> 01:01:30,820 Why don't we get underneath the bench? 858 01:01:34,078 --> 01:01:35,744 Do you want to get on top? 859 01:01:44,087 --> 01:01:46,320 You check the office. I'll scope the dressing rooms. 860 01:01:46,322 --> 01:01:47,821 Right. 861 01:01:56,330 --> 01:01:57,828 You're on top. 862 01:02:00,098 --> 01:02:01,464 Did you want to be on top? 863 01:02:01,466 --> 01:02:03,332 No. 864 01:02:03,334 --> 01:02:06,001 No, no, I'm fine where I am. 865 01:02:06,269 --> 01:02:07,668 Sure. 866 01:02:46,139 --> 01:02:48,072 I think he went to the back. 867 01:02:59,752 --> 01:03:01,485 Evening. 868 01:03:05,390 --> 01:03:07,690 Nice. 869 01:03:07,692 --> 01:03:09,525 Excellent. 870 01:03:09,527 --> 01:03:12,827 Hey, you got a tattoo? 871 01:03:15,264 --> 01:03:16,429 No, sir. 872 01:03:16,431 --> 01:03:17,997 Not you, asshole! 873 01:03:17,999 --> 01:03:20,065 I'm a missing person. 874 01:03:20,067 --> 01:03:22,700 The whole town is looking for me. 875 01:03:22,702 --> 01:03:25,669 What, are you hidin' out? Yes. 876 01:03:25,671 --> 01:03:28,038 And I would appreciate it if you'd let us sit up. 877 01:03:28,040 --> 01:03:29,939 What about the tattoo? 878 01:03:30,775 --> 01:03:32,841 I don't have one. 879 01:03:32,843 --> 01:03:34,175 You owe me a buck. 880 01:03:34,177 --> 01:03:35,609 Actually, it's up to two. 881 01:03:35,611 --> 01:03:38,445 I borrowed that one off you at Burger King. 882 01:03:38,447 --> 01:03:40,079 Excuse me. 883 01:03:41,615 --> 01:03:44,015 Are you planning to shoot us in the back of the head? 884 01:03:44,017 --> 01:03:46,750 We haven't decided yet, have we? 885 01:03:48,353 --> 01:03:49,752 Who are you? 886 01:03:49,754 --> 01:03:52,521 You don't want to know. 887 01:03:52,523 --> 01:03:54,956 He wouldn't have asked if he didn't want to know, butthead. 888 01:03:54,958 --> 01:03:56,924 He's a little crazy. He's my brother. 889 01:03:56,926 --> 01:03:58,926 He's not quite right. That's not true. 890 01:03:59,428 --> 01:04:00,860 She doesn't even know me. 891 01:04:00,862 --> 01:04:02,428 Somebody better start talking straight here. 892 01:04:02,430 --> 01:04:03,929 That's the truth. 893 01:04:04,197 --> 01:04:06,129 Okay. 894 01:04:08,366 --> 01:04:09,965 You want to know? 895 01:04:11,034 --> 01:04:12,933 Okay, good. 896 01:04:13,368 --> 01:04:15,134 But... 897 01:04:16,303 --> 01:04:18,336 Come on over here. 898 01:04:19,205 --> 01:04:21,738 - What? - Come on over. 899 01:04:21,740 --> 01:04:23,706 Come on over here! Over here. 900 01:04:41,324 --> 01:04:43,123 Come on down here. 901 01:04:46,094 --> 01:04:47,854 That's right. Down here. Down here. 902 01:04:50,764 --> 01:04:52,130 Okay. 903 01:04:53,666 --> 01:04:56,133 You dumb sons of bitches. 904 01:04:57,136 --> 01:05:00,170 Do you realize that you have just walked 905 01:05:00,172 --> 01:05:03,739 straight into a $60-million drug transaction? 906 01:05:06,442 --> 01:05:07,774 So, you're running this 907 01:05:07,776 --> 01:05:11,277 multi-zillion-dollar drug transaction by yourself? 908 01:05:11,279 --> 01:05:13,112 Little Target boy. 909 01:05:13,114 --> 01:05:15,247 No. 910 01:05:15,249 --> 01:05:17,916 No, I'm not doing it by myself. 911 01:05:17,918 --> 01:05:19,550 No, no. 912 01:05:20,786 --> 01:05:22,218 As a matter of fact, 913 01:05:23,754 --> 01:05:25,754 in about 10 minutes, 914 01:05:25,756 --> 01:05:28,957 this place is gonna be alive with the meanest, 915 01:05:28,959 --> 01:05:32,527 ugliest, most impatient animals you guys have ever seen. 916 01:05:32,529 --> 01:05:35,930 So I'll tell you what, I'll give you five minutes to take 917 01:05:35,932 --> 01:05:38,632 whatever you want in the whole store. Anything you want and just go. 918 01:05:38,634 --> 01:05:41,600 I won't tell. Just go. Just take your guns and go. Scoot. 919 01:05:42,336 --> 01:05:44,068 Okay, then, who's the girl? 920 01:05:46,439 --> 01:05:47,671 I'm his hostage. 921 01:05:47,673 --> 01:05:48,838 Yes, yes. 922 01:05:49,941 --> 01:05:52,942 Is that true? 923 01:05:52,944 --> 01:05:55,344 Yes! Yes, it's true. 924 01:05:55,779 --> 01:05:57,545 And... 925 01:06:00,650 --> 01:06:02,750 If the deal doesn't go down, 926 01:06:03,385 --> 01:06:04,784 she becomes pig feed. 927 01:06:04,786 --> 01:06:05,951 Bullshit. 928 01:06:06,386 --> 01:06:07,852 Really? 929 01:06:10,823 --> 01:06:12,022 Well, blow her away. 930 01:06:12,024 --> 01:06:14,124 Come on, that's bullshit! 931 01:06:15,460 --> 01:06:16,892 Okay. 932 01:06:18,295 --> 01:06:21,728 Then give me your guns and I'll do it for you. 933 01:06:22,897 --> 01:06:24,029 It's bullshit, right? 934 01:06:25,665 --> 01:06:27,097 We'll see. 935 01:06:29,701 --> 01:06:31,333 Roll over. 936 01:06:31,335 --> 01:06:32,834 Come on, you heard him. What? 937 01:06:32,836 --> 01:06:34,869 Roll over! That's right. You too, honey. 938 01:06:34,871 --> 01:06:37,238 You heard me. Roll over. Come on, do it! 939 01:06:37,240 --> 01:06:40,974 Come on, come on! Roll! Roll. That's it. Very good. 940 01:06:40,976 --> 01:06:44,310 Yeah. 941 01:06:44,312 --> 01:06:47,246 Give me the guns. 942 01:06:48,983 --> 01:06:50,515 No way, man.. 943 01:06:50,517 --> 01:06:52,250 Fine. Fine. 944 01:06:52,252 --> 01:06:54,385 You do it. I don't need her anymore, anyway. 945 01:06:55,721 --> 01:06:57,420 I only needed her to get through customs. 946 01:06:57,422 --> 01:06:59,088 I don't like this. 947 01:06:59,090 --> 01:07:00,756 This sucks. It's not worth it. 948 01:07:00,758 --> 01:07:02,324 Come on, we don't have much time. Do it! 949 01:07:02,326 --> 01:07:03,758 All right. 950 01:07:07,597 --> 01:07:09,330 It's nothing personal. 951 01:07:09,332 --> 01:07:11,092 Jim! Too late. They're here! 952 01:07:13,001 --> 01:07:14,500 It's too late. They're here. 953 01:07:14,502 --> 01:07:16,262 Men, hold your fire. Hold the fire. 954 01:07:16,870 --> 01:07:18,769 Ned in housewares, hold your fire. 955 01:07:18,771 --> 01:07:20,570 Tommy in sporting goods, hold your fire. 956 01:07:20,572 --> 01:07:21,904 Ned, hold your fire. 957 01:07:21,906 --> 01:07:24,273 There are infrared scopes trained on your heads. 958 01:07:24,275 --> 01:07:25,841 We didn't want this! 959 01:07:25,843 --> 01:07:27,523 It's the girl you want, not us! 960 01:07:28,412 --> 01:07:29,844 Just relax, okay. Ned, we got a WD-40. 961 01:07:29,846 --> 01:07:31,345 That's right. A full-scale PMS. 962 01:07:31,347 --> 01:07:33,046 Okay, everybody, just relax! 963 01:07:33,048 --> 01:07:35,915 Now, now, everybody just relax. 964 01:07:35,917 --> 01:07:37,683 Okay, the whole place is gonna blow. 965 01:07:37,685 --> 01:07:38,850 Everybody just relax. 966 01:07:38,852 --> 01:07:40,685 Now, put down your guns. Put the guns down. 967 01:07:40,687 --> 01:07:42,219 Ned, they're putting down the guns. 968 01:07:42,221 --> 01:07:43,920 Are you putting them down? They are putting them down. 969 01:07:43,922 --> 01:07:46,355 Now, get down, 'cause lives are at stake here. 970 01:07:46,357 --> 01:07:49,757 Let go. Let go, let go. Now, get back, get back. 971 01:07:51,193 --> 01:07:54,627 Spread 'em. Spread the legs. Put down the dogs. 972 01:07:54,629 --> 01:07:57,196 Okay, put the dogs down. Put the dogs down. 973 01:07:57,198 --> 01:07:59,631 Both of 'em! Put the dogs down! Down! 974 01:08:01,368 --> 01:08:03,234 That was great! 975 01:08:03,236 --> 01:08:04,969 I got a big surprise for you guys. 976 01:08:04,971 --> 01:08:07,804 We have a bit of a surprise for you, too. 977 01:08:09,308 --> 01:08:11,074 Them guns aren't loaded. 978 01:08:21,551 --> 01:08:23,350 I got an idea. 979 01:08:23,352 --> 01:08:25,318 How about a truce? 980 01:08:25,320 --> 01:08:28,321 I'm full of shit. You're full of shit. 981 01:08:28,323 --> 01:08:31,057 I think everybody at one time in their life is full of shit. 982 01:08:31,059 --> 01:08:32,658 I'll throw on a couple of corn dogs 983 01:08:32,660 --> 01:08:34,760 and we'll all get to know each other. 984 01:08:34,762 --> 01:08:37,062 I'd like to know what goes on inside your heads. 985 01:08:37,064 --> 01:08:39,364 Okay, you had the big one, you had the... 986 01:08:39,366 --> 01:08:41,032 No. 987 01:08:41,034 --> 01:08:42,914 Sorry. I could've sworn you had the big one. 988 01:08:47,072 --> 01:08:49,105 I lied. 989 01:08:52,910 --> 01:08:55,943 These are the men that killed that guy in Saltburg. 990 01:08:57,046 --> 01:08:59,413 I'm fairly sure that we're gonna die. 991 01:08:59,415 --> 01:09:01,214 I just want to tell you how disappointed I am 992 01:09:01,216 --> 01:09:03,015 that we're not going to California together. 993 01:09:03,017 --> 01:09:04,750 We're not dead yet. 994 01:09:05,853 --> 01:09:08,520 Pretty darn close. No. 995 01:09:08,522 --> 01:09:11,122 If I can get them to take me with them, 996 01:09:11,124 --> 01:09:13,524 maybe I can get away and come back for you. 997 01:09:13,526 --> 01:09:16,259 Don't forget we need a car and they obviously have one. 998 01:09:17,629 --> 01:09:19,562 Just... 999 01:09:19,564 --> 01:09:20,963 Go along with whatever I do, okay? 1000 01:09:20,965 --> 01:09:22,331 Okay. 1001 01:09:34,711 --> 01:09:36,744 So, what's the word on you two? 1002 01:09:36,746 --> 01:09:40,447 Are you married? Obviously, you're... 1003 01:09:40,449 --> 01:09:43,716 Hack crooks if you can't pull off a discount store job. 1004 01:09:45,786 --> 01:09:48,453 What were you planning to steal? A little hair spray? 1005 01:09:52,957 --> 01:09:54,022 Sorry. 1006 01:09:58,227 --> 01:09:59,459 Lady, you got a job? 1007 01:10:01,563 --> 01:10:03,062 No. 1008 01:10:03,064 --> 01:10:04,463 Well, then don't knock ours. 1009 01:10:05,432 --> 01:10:07,565 Crime isn't a job. It's a sickness. 1010 01:10:12,571 --> 01:10:13,903 Whoops. 1011 01:10:14,805 --> 01:10:16,070 Anyone have some change? 1012 01:10:27,949 --> 01:10:30,916 You look like a lady in need of a quarter. 1013 01:10:30,918 --> 01:10:33,250 I might need more than just a quarter. 1014 01:10:35,921 --> 01:10:38,621 You know... No. 1015 01:10:38,623 --> 01:10:40,489 You and I could make a lot of money. 1016 01:10:40,491 --> 01:10:43,425 Honey, me and Nestor are partners. 1017 01:10:43,427 --> 01:10:45,527 Okay? We don't need a third. 1018 01:10:45,529 --> 01:10:48,062 You don't know what you need, so why don't you shut up? 1019 01:10:51,467 --> 01:10:53,500 Hop on. 1020 01:11:09,680 --> 01:11:11,346 Now. 1021 01:11:11,981 --> 01:11:13,714 Let's go now. 1022 01:11:15,150 --> 01:11:16,382 Know what you are? 1023 01:11:16,384 --> 01:11:17,516 Yeah. 1024 01:11:17,518 --> 01:11:20,418 You are one good-looking ball of trouble. 1025 01:11:23,623 --> 01:11:24,855 Good. 1026 01:12:02,027 --> 01:12:03,493 What do you think, for the car? 1027 01:12:03,495 --> 01:12:05,061 This one? 1028 01:12:05,063 --> 01:12:08,330 No, the whole thing. We'll just lay it down in the back. 1029 01:12:08,332 --> 01:12:10,398 We got multi-cassette capabilities. 1030 01:12:10,400 --> 01:12:11,899 Think of the sound. 1031 01:12:39,227 --> 01:12:42,361 Let me just tell you. I'm not helping you load your car. 1032 01:12:42,363 --> 01:12:44,229 Think again, boy. 1033 01:12:44,231 --> 01:12:48,032 You're not going to take the stolen merchandise out of the store. No. 1034 01:12:48,034 --> 01:12:49,199 I'm not gonna let you. 1035 01:12:49,201 --> 01:12:50,700 Get out. 1036 01:12:50,702 --> 01:12:51,867 It's stolen. All of it! 1037 01:12:51,869 --> 01:12:53,034 - Give me that! - No! 1038 01:12:53,036 --> 01:12:55,036 It's mine! Give it to me! 1039 01:12:55,038 --> 01:12:56,370 It's mine. 1040 01:13:00,808 --> 01:13:03,108 But where... Wait a minute. 1041 01:13:06,546 --> 01:13:07,878 You're not going with them? 1042 01:13:07,880 --> 01:13:09,145 Yeah. 1043 01:13:10,214 --> 01:13:11,946 You'll be an accessory. 1044 01:13:13,549 --> 01:13:15,715 So? 1045 01:13:15,717 --> 01:13:17,717 So? You don't know anything about them. 1046 01:13:17,719 --> 01:13:19,719 You certainly don't know anything about him. 1047 01:13:19,721 --> 01:13:21,220 These are hardened criminals here! 1048 01:13:21,222 --> 01:13:23,322 Okay, come here. That's enough. That's enough! 1049 01:13:23,324 --> 01:13:24,389 Gil. 1050 01:13:26,793 --> 01:13:29,460 Don't waste your time. You could get a hernia. 1051 01:13:29,462 --> 01:13:31,628 You know, if my foot could talk, 1052 01:13:31,630 --> 01:13:34,631 it would say, "May I please go up this geek's ass?" 1053 01:13:34,633 --> 01:13:35,832 Forget him! Forget him. 1054 01:13:35,834 --> 01:13:37,466 Come on! All right. 1055 01:13:37,468 --> 01:13:40,235 He's no use to us. After all, the guy's built like an oyster. 1056 01:13:40,237 --> 01:13:41,802 Listen, little mister. 1057 01:13:44,439 --> 01:13:46,105 If you tell on us, 1058 01:13:46,107 --> 01:13:47,473 I'll kill you. 1059 01:13:53,446 --> 01:13:54,711 Fine. 1060 01:13:59,783 --> 01:14:01,649 Jim. 1061 01:14:10,158 --> 01:14:11,757 Don't be an ass. 1062 01:14:14,428 --> 01:14:16,994 Okay, Jimbo? 1063 01:14:19,098 --> 01:14:20,897 Let's go, shall we? 1064 01:14:50,860 --> 01:14:52,259 Come on, come on, come on! 1065 01:15:10,841 --> 01:15:13,374 I got 'em. I got 'em. I got 'em. 1066 01:16:36,723 --> 01:16:39,490 That wasn't a store robbery. 1067 01:16:39,492 --> 01:16:41,825 That was an assassination. 1068 01:16:41,827 --> 01:16:43,893 That wasn't a clerk. That was a wise guy. 1069 01:16:44,729 --> 01:16:46,829 How do I know? 1070 01:16:46,831 --> 01:16:50,165 I spent a little time with the FBI's organized crime unit. 1071 01:16:50,167 --> 01:16:52,133 I guess you could say that I'm intimately knowledgeable 1072 01:16:52,135 --> 01:16:54,001 with the seedy and rancorous workings of the mob 1073 01:16:54,003 --> 01:16:56,770 in the Midwest section of this country. 1074 01:16:56,772 --> 01:16:59,639 Let me just say, I know a gangland slaying when I see one, 1075 01:16:59,641 --> 01:17:01,641 and that's exactly what this baby is. 1076 01:17:03,277 --> 01:17:07,012 I'd look into myself personally, but I got a date tonight. 1077 01:17:15,588 --> 01:17:17,553 Attention Target shoppers. 1078 01:18:05,398 --> 01:18:06,830 Jim! 1079 01:19:01,786 --> 01:19:04,353 He is so cool.