1 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:15,760 Can I help you? 2 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:18,120 Yes. 3 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:24,400 I would like to report something. How's it going? 4 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:25,920 What would you like to report? 5 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:30,200 I don't know how to tell you this, But someone is chasing me. 6 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,400 -Are you being chased by a man or a woman? - Woman. 7 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,480 Did you have a sexual relationship with her? 8 00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:38,640 No, I didn't. She's older than me. 9 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:41,200 We do not take age into consideration. 10 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:44,920 No, of course. But I assure you That I did not have sexual relations with her. 11 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,120 Okay. Are you saying this woman is stalking you? 12 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,600 Yes. You come to my work and to my house. 13 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,200 And she emails me all the time. 14 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:53,640 Does she threaten you in any of them? 15 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:57,480 I'm sure of it. Let me open one for you at random. Here. 16 00:00:58,080 --> 00:00:59,840 "I just ate an egg." 17 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,440 I wouldn't have taken this as a particularly threatening message. 18 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,160 There are threatening messages in here somewhere. 19 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:07,040 I just have to check all... 20 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,440 Listen, I'm very worried. 21 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,360 I think she needs help. 22 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:16,120 How long has it been since it started? 23 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:17,600 I don't know, about... 24 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,080 Six months maybe. 25 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,200 Six months? 26 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:25,640 Why were you so late in reporting? 27 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:38,160 "This is a true story" 28 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:40,080 I felt sorry for her. 29 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:43,800 This is the first feeling I had. 30 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:50,080 It feels condescending and arrogant 31 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:52,280 To feel sorry for someone Seeing him for the first time, 32 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,840 But that's how I felt. I felt sorry for her. 33 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,600 - Serve her, you idiot. - Yes. Sorry. 34 00:01:59,080 --> 00:01:59,920 Beer for five. 35 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:02,640 - Cheers. Thanks. -Thank you. 36 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:13,640 {\an8}- May I get you something? - No, thanks. 37 00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:15,080 {\an8}Are you sure? 38 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,520 {\an8}- A cup of tea? - No, thanks. 39 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,480 {\an8}- You have to buy something. - I don't have enough to buy anything. 40 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:23,160 {\an8}- Not even the price of a cup of tea? - No. 41 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:25,120 Well... 42 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,520 How about I offer you a cup of tea? At the bar's expense? 43 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:39,600 Okay. 44 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:47,880 So what do you do? 45 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:49,760 I am a lawyer. 46 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,200 So how did you get into this profession? 47 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:58,880 Trained in criminal law, I moved to England and trained again 48 00:02:58,880 --> 00:02:59,880 I opened my own office, 49 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:03,080 I won several awards I am now a senior advisor to the government. 50 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,440 -Do you have a law firm? - Among other things. 51 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:10,280 I have an apartment in Pimlico overlooking a private garden. And an apartment in Bexleyheath. 52 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,680 and two "Belsize Park". God does not like boasters. 53 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:15,120 But when you are the person to which senior politicians resort, 54 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:16,360 You have the right to brag. 55 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,320 And no, I won't tell you their names, Don't ask me about it. 56 00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:23,640 Okay. David Cameron and Nick Clegg And Alex Salmond, but you didn't know that from me. 57 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:29,400 (Nigel Farage) (Tony Blair) 58 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,880 Wow, you must throw great dinner parties. 59 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:39,040 She had an amazing laugh. This silly, somewhat embarrassing laugh. 60 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,440 Her name was... - "Martha." 61 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,720 But that's all I thought about If everything you say is true, 62 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,680 So why couldn't she pay for a cup of tea? 63 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,960 “I need a nice guy to take care of me, Beautiful as a little deer 64 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,400 "Sent from an iPhone" 65 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:58,080 "My spoiled gazelle" 66 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,880 I moved to London to fulfill my life's dream By becoming a stand-up comedian, 67 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:14,960 But for some reason, I found myself in my late twenties I work in a job with no future 68 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,360 I live rent-free with my ex-girlfriend's mother 69 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:19,680 In a huge house kilometers away from the city. 70 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,920 I came with big plans to become famous, 71 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,360 It's crazy comedy Which I present 72 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:29,280 She was what was missing Exactly the world's leading city. 73 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:30,720 I recently became a vegetarian then. 74 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:33,720 I had to make some sacrifices. 75 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:38,520 It's a hat from you. 76 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:42,680 But a mink animal was stuck in it Instead of being made from mink fur. 77 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:46,640 You are bad! 78 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,080 Damn. 79 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,920 But that's how London is, Don't greet anyone in a special way. 80 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,000 It's like waking up one day To find himself a secondary actor 81 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,640 Among a crew of millions. 82 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,280 So when someone notices you among all this crowd, 83 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,080 And he notices you as you want to be, 84 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:05,960 You notice it too. 85 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,800 And you notice his observation of you. 86 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,240 Martha came every day, 87 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,680 And every time she comes up with a new makeup and hairstyle, As if she was a child playing dress-up. 88 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,960 She started the conversation by saying... 89 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,040 I have to leave. 90 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,640 ...but then it stays on my whole shift. 91 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:27,720 I thought that was strange Her portrayal of herself as a busy woman, 92 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:31,840 Thinking she could fool me To think she doesn't spend her time at the bar. 93 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:35,240 I have a busy day today. Annual meetings and shareholders' meetings. 94 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,960 Then I will style my hair. So I can't talk for a long time. 95 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,360 She always ordered the same drink every time... 96 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:41,960 Diet soda, and lots of ice. 97 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,760 She always gave it to her at the bar's expense. 98 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:47,120 -And she never drank her drink. -I represent two important clients... 99 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,360 But she was sitting there chattering mechanically. 100 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:53,360 Talking about people in her life Without ever explaining who they were. 101 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:54,760 I was talking to Steve. 102 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:56,920 I was chatting with John. Alan was on the phone. 103 00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,960 As if I already knew them. As if I was already a part of her life. 104 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,000 And when you weren't talking about them 105 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:05,120 Or her law firm Or about celebrities you know, 106 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,800 She was sitting and talking about me. 107 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,080 You have very manly hands, don't you? 108 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:14,000 - Really? - And a huge deep voice, and a prominent jaw. 109 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,400 On top of that, your bone structure is also great. 110 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,840 They should charge you tax for this. Men's tax. 111 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,080 Everything about it interested me. 112 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,520 Her endless confidence And her strange style of expression 113 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,320 And the hair that sometimes flowed Among her crazy words. 114 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:30,720 Should we run away together? 115 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:33,440 My birthday is coming up, and I want to do something special. 116 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:34,880 Who said I want to run away? 117 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:38,040 You're already running away. Some people flee by packing their bags. 118 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,400 Others stay in the same place for a long time. 119 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:47,760 Sorry. 120 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:53,200 I woke up in a bad mood this morning. I don't know what's wrong with me. 121 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,040 Then I looked at her in her weakest moments, 122 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,040 And I begin to reimagine her past. 123 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,920 School dances you weren't invited to. 124 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,360 Times of trying on wedding dresses For fun. 125 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:08,520 And the nights she spent on social media Follow the lives of the rich and famous. 126 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:17,160 So, I don't know what's wrong with me, But I started flattering her. 127 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:20,320 Your birthday is coming up. You're 21, right? 128 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:21,440 I'm 42! 129 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,760 Are you 42? You'd better then Give Peter Pan his moisturizing cream back. 130 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:26,880 Oh my God! 131 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,480 You are so sweet, you fool. 132 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:32,560 I wouldn't mind teaching you where to put it. 133 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:37,560 How about we go out for a walk? On the weekend to celebrate? 134 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,760 The sun is shining and pollen is low. 135 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,840 You can sunbathe without getting allergic reactions. 136 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,320 Of course, I'll go for a walk with you. 137 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,120 Oh my God! 138 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:49,840 A fun walk with my favorite deer. 139 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,880 Give me your phone number. We can arrange the time. 140 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,680 I'll tell you something, Tell me the time and place, and I'll meet you there. 141 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,520 I'll be sitting next to the brunette beauty. 142 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,280 Who is this? 143 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:09,480 Do you mean me? 144 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,320 I started to love her laugh and became obsessed with her, 145 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,600 And I do everything I can to extract it from her. 146 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,520 It was a normal, harmless relationship. 147 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:19,240 She became the butt of jokes in the bar. 148 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,440 "Donnie." Won't you introduce us to your sweetheart? 149 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:25,080 So this is who we were talking about? 150 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:26,360 Fashion model? 151 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,480 Did you say that? Really? 152 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,960 Come on, Donnie, tell us. When are you going to have sex? 153 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,920 I don't believe in sex before marriage. 154 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:37,400 So what are you waiting for? 155 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:39,800 Ask for her hand. 156 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,320 Yes. Ask for her hand! 157 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:47,040 Ask for her hand! 158 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:51,560 What? Won't you ask for my hand? 159 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:54,280 I am suitable for marriage. 160 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,440 Half of my property will make you rich. 161 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,720 I just bought a penthouse apartment, furnished. 162 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,280 I just need someone to hang my curtains for me. 163 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:04,880 “Hang her curtains.” 164 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,680 Something about that word sounded vaguely sexual. 165 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,480 I hated lowering myself to their level. 166 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,160 But I needed a way out From this very strange situation. 167 00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:15,600 I'll hang your curtains! 168 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,280 I wanted to laugh. 169 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,120 I wanted to share the joke, but she didn't. 170 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:33,040 And I knew then, in that moment 171 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,360 She took it seriously. 172 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:40,120 “My spoiled deer. Roses are so vulgar. Be funky with me, 173 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,280 I can orgasm multiple times In one meeting 174 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,160 “I'll teach you, it's all in the fingers.” 175 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,280 “I have to go. (M)" 176 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,480 "Sent from an iPhone" 177 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,240 Then her emails started, 178 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,720 About 80 messages per day, It lasts until late at night. 179 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:54,640 "Spam" 180 00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:59,200 Her email address was a random string Of numbers and letters like spam, 181 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,320 But the writing was exactly as it spoke, 182 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,040 {\an8}Unhesitating and spontaneous, 183 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,080 {\an8}And frank without any shame. 184 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,280 {\an8}"Do you like romantic or violent sex?" 185 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,960 {\an8}There were spelling errors In words that are easier to spell 186 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,440 Among other words she spelled perfectly. 187 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:13,320 "oral foreplay" 188 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:14,880 And the fact that she has an iPhone. 189 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:17,680 Even though she wasn't using it When I saw her texting at the bar. ! 190 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,280 Look what I brought, my deer 191 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:22,960 Before the outdoor outing. 192 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,800 Surprise! Small food basket. 193 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:30,600 It contains jam and citrus jam, 194 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:32,680 Toasted bread, 195 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,280 And champagne too if you prefer. 196 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,600 I don't drink alcohol but I welcome it 197 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,880 By pouring it on my chest and licking it off of me. 198 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:42,400 {\an8}"Classic basket 195.50 pounds" 199 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,000 What's up? 200 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,240 Nothing, but you spent a lot. 201 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,120 My birthday is special this year. 202 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,040 My 43rd birthday no less. 203 00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:54,240 And I will get to spend it with you. 204 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,120 {\an8}Martha, I think this might not be a good idea. 205 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,840 {\an8}What? No picnic? 206 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:06,080 {\an8}No, I don't think so. 207 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:10,200 {\an8}Really? Why? But I just bought a lot. 208 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:13,920 {\an8}It's very soft To avoid getting weed blisters. 209 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:19,200 {\an8}Picnics are for lovers. 210 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:26,920 {\an8}And what do friends do? 211 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,200 {\an8}- I don't know. They drink coffee. - Coffee is fine. 212 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,320 "Nice coffee drinking. Hurray!" 213 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,480 “I almost bought a pair of thong panties for you And then I told myself that I am not a teenager 214 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:42,680 I don't need to wear something like this During sex it will hurt me!" 215 00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:45,400 "Sent from iPhone" 216 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,720 "Today's menu" 217 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,680 -Do you know what you are going to ask? -I want Scottish soup. 218 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,760 I'm trying to find out if it's on the list or not. 219 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:02,800 I don't see it on the list... 220 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:05,480 Very clever. 221 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,600 So what? Is it on the list? 222 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:15,440 No, unfortunately. 223 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,720 But you will find it among the special dishes. 224 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:32,560 Special dishes. 225 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,280 What a laugh! 226 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,000 Yes, I'm always told that. 227 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,200 My father used to call me “the laughing one.” 228 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,240 With his big hands. 229 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:49,360 Do you have a lower pitch? Can I ask you to lower your voice? 230 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,000 You'll have to approach me first. 231 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,800 Are you serious about me then? 232 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,840 I can handle it. Just be honest. 233 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:06,320 Oversaw some of the biggest cases in the world. 234 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:10,120 "Hollywood". Mention whatever you want. I can handle anything. 235 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:13,160 But it would be unfortunate, 236 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,520 Having mentioned the curtains, 237 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,040 And raise my hopes. 238 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:19,720 But I'll get through it. 239 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:22,760 I'll get through it. 240 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,280 Yes, I'm serious about you. 241 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:31,720 No, don't! Wow! 242 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:35,080 Wait. I mean as a friend, okay? As a friend. 243 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:36,040 Two friends 244 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:38,120 They have sex. 245 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:39,440 But just two friends. 246 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,840 - May I get you something? - Yes. 247 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:43,960 - I'll have an American coffee, please. - Yes. 248 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,280 -I'll just drink a cup of tap water. - You have that. 249 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:48,680 -Aren't you going to ask for something? - I don't have the price for anything. 250 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:49,760 I'll pay for you, just... 251 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:50,720 Okay. 252 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,320 May I have a crescent pastry and an oatcake? 253 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:56,000 And a chocolate cake and a cup of coffee? 254 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,680 Sure. What kind of coffee? 255 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,800 - Decaffeinated. - Decaffeinated. 256 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,440 Great. I will prepare the orders for you now. Thanks. 257 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,920 So how did you get my email? 258 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:15,720 From your website. 259 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,720 You must not place it on the site. Anyone could know him. 260 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,040 - I'm starting to realize that. -Are you a stand-up comedian then? 261 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,280 - Something like that. -It's not going well. 262 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:28,560 Is this a question? 263 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:31,600 No, I can figure these things out. It's not going well. 264 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:32,720 That's not true, so... 265 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,920 I saw your videos online, I thought it was bad. 266 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,400 - My performance has improved a little now. -And it's insulting too. 267 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,080 - She's sarcastic. - Bad sarcasm. 268 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,200 Sorry, are you a critic? 269 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,640 - Please. -Thank you. 270 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:49,720 Listen, Martha. 271 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,120 Can you promise me? You won't tell anyone at the bar 272 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:54,640 About those internet clips? 273 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,240 Enough! You should be proud of yourself. 274 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,680 You are pursuing your dreams. 275 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:03,960 No, I realize that. But... 276 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:05,760 What's up? 277 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:10,080 I spent my life I dream of becoming a stand-up comedian, but... 278 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,160 I didn't realize it would be this difficult. 279 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,640 But difficulty can be good too, right? 280 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:18,400 Yes, I know. But... 281 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:24,840 I thought it was my dreams It will lead me to happiness, but... 282 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,760 Now it almost seems like it As if it was a choice between the two things. 283 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,640 Someone hurt you, didn't they? 284 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,280 I can figure that out. 285 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:46,920 You're like a warrior 286 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,200 His armor is cracked. 287 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,480 As if you had an injury. 288 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:55,680 Was she a woman? 289 00:15:57,880 --> 00:15:58,880 Is your heart broken? 290 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,600 No, I'm fine. 291 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:03,680 That's what the warrior would have said. 292 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:08,120 But I can tell you're bleeding. 293 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:11,560 Due to deep wounds. 294 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:14,640 Who was the reason? 295 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,120 Martha, would you please let go of my hand? 296 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:19,760 - I want the active name. - "Martha." 297 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:20,720 Active participle. 298 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,080 - "Martha." - The active participle. 299 00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:25,680 - Martha, let go of my hand! - Don't you dare! 300 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:36,960 Eat something okay? 301 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:39,480 Yes, we are fine. 302 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:41,600 We're fine, honestly. 303 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,680 Should I get you something else or... 304 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:46,320 Just the invoice. 305 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,440 - Which direction will you go? - From here. 306 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,960 I'll go in this direction. 307 00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:58,560 Thanks for the chocolate cake. 308 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,520 I knew she wasn't a wealthy lawyer, 309 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:17,560 But seeing her madness manifest like this It made me feel uncomfortable. 310 00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:23,480 Who was this woman and what did she see in me? 311 00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:45,200 Fuck! Damn! 312 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,080 "My spoiled gazelle, "I saw you looking, you little voyeur." 313 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:08,120 "Sent from iPhone" 314 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,400 Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't followed her, 315 00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:15,600 And I just went home, was it? This whole tragedy ended there? 316 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,360 Maybe part of me wanted to get caught. 317 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,680 Maybe he wanted a part of me Knowing where it might take me. 318 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:25,880 Well, it's been an amazing competition so far. 319 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,880 Lots of offers competing To reserve her place in the semi-finals. 320 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,560 Please maintain this enthusiasm and welcome 321 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,960 With the next presenter, Donnie Dan! 322 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:38,480 Okay! Okay, let me put this in quickly. 323 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,320 To prepare for my presentation. 324 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,640 I'll open this old bag real quick. 325 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:44,800 Okay, good. 326 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:45,720 Okay. 327 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,880 Here we are! Good. Great. 328 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:51,800 This... 329 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,120 I know what you're thinking. 330 00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:56,960 Venus Williams let herself loose. 331 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:06,680 Sorry. God, no. I said the wrong name. It's new material. 332 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,720 I'll take out my notebook and... 333 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,160 I'll start over. Let me just...there it is. 334 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,280 I know what you're thinking. 335 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,640 Serena Williams let herself be free. 336 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,840 Okay, great. This didn't work. Let's continue. 337 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,040 One laugh. It would be great if you moved around the hall. 338 00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:41,800 I can't take my mom anywhere. 339 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:53,400 What is your name? 340 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,040 "Martha." 341 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,640 Hello, Martha. Is your spaceship parked outside? 342 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,360 Yes, it's outside. 343 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,440 Want to go on a trip to my home planet? 344 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,720 ‫كوكبك الأم؟‬ A planet where people find me funniest? 345 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:10,640 I'm convinced! 346 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,760 Where is your home planet? 347 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:16,360 Belsize Park. 348 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,640 And just out of curiosity, by your spaceship you mean... 349 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,000 Fiat Punto car. 350 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:30,280 Great. Ladies and gentlemen, You won't find anything better than that. 351 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:31,600 Oh God. 352 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,960 For your sake. Okay, so... 353 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:35,600 I can sing. 354 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,320 People didn't come here to hear the singing, so... 355 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:39,960 Let her sing! 356 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,240 - Come on! Let her sing! - No. 357 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,360 Come on, let her sing! 358 00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:47,200 Well, that's okay, you won. Come on then. 359 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,920 “I know I'm waiting for you Until you think you have time 360 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,320 "to spend an evening with me" 361 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,520 Nancy Sintra, what are you doing here? 362 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,960 “And if we go somewhere to dance I know there is a possibility 363 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,840 "You won't leave with me." 364 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,400 Do you memorize any of the Slipknot songs? 365 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,400 I would let you sing more, But I can't stand you stealing the spotlight. 366 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,800 Give Martha a big round of applause, folks. Yes! 367 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:21,320 Very cool. Great. 368 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,800 I always thought That song is actually weird. 369 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,880 They could have said something very stupid. 370 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,680 Then I ruin everything by saying something stupid like, 371 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:30,840 (“Hitler was misunderstood.”) 372 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,560 I recently became a vegetarian then. 373 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,200 I had to make some sacrifices. 374 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,520 I met a new girlfriend. She's really young. Come on! 375 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:59,240 Yes, she gives great blowjobs. No. 376 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,160 Good. We are doing well. 377 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:05,160 "There's something about that mink hat that makes you shine." 378 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,320 "Sent from iPhone" 379 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,360 "There's something about that mink hat that makes you shine." 380 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:18,880 Fuck. 381 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,120 How do you do that? 382 00:23:20,120 --> 00:23:23,280 - What? -You appear out of nowhere. You're like a ninja cat. 383 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,920 Your jokes were funny tonight. I deserved to win. 384 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,000 Better than the crap on the internet. 385 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,920 Thanks I guess. 386 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,000 With all the tools and so on. 387 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,240 Very funny, Ghazali. 388 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:42,040 You are naturally talented In this matter of comedy, right? 389 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,760 Thanks. Don't thank me. 390 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:47,560 Rather, thank yourself. 391 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:49,120 And thank you for your talent. 392 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,000 Listen. 393 00:23:56,160 --> 00:24:00,040 About yesterday when you were out of your house, I shouldn't have followed you. 394 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:01,600 No, don't be silly. 395 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:03,760 I'm not mad at you at all. 396 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,040 But next time come in to eat. 397 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,480 I will prepare my own dish for you. 398 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,440 What's your special dish? 399 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:15,160 Vaginal blades. 400 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:22,560 Fuck. 401 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:26,800 You're absolutely crazy, aren't you? 402 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:41,640 If you had a superpower, what would it be? 403 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,560 I would love to read people's minds 404 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,160 Instead of guessing all the time. 405 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,960 What? Are you worried? That people think badly of you? 406 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,320 No, I'm worried they're not thinking about me at all. 407 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,040 - My strength is strange. - I expect nothing less. 408 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:08,640 I wanted one day 409 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:11,240 In opening people's zippers 410 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:13,840 And get inside them? 411 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,320 I can't say it's a whim I have often. 412 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,080 If only humans had zippers. 413 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,920 Zipper opens all the way to their stomach. 414 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,760 I would open it and hide myself inside them. 415 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,320 Is this how you ask me to flog me? 416 00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:38,360 Yes, I'll wear your skin as a one-piece. 417 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,640 Oh my God. And I keep warm inside you all winter. 418 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:44,840 That would be nice. 419 00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:47,600 But I will miss the cookies. 420 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,000 I'll tell you something, 421 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,240 Give me a list of the types you like, 422 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,920 And from time to time, in everyone's ignorance, 423 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,840 I'll open my zipper and give you some cookies. What do you think about that? 424 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,880 I'll have the best of both worlds! Oh my God. 425 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:08,560 Oh my God. 426 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:10,960 What a sweet tongue you have! 427 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:20,280 “Then we go to a quiet place 428 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,200 And we have a drink or two 429 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:39,520 Then he ruined everything by saying something silly like, " 430 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:41,120 - "Hitler" was misunderstood. - "I love you" 431 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:46,800 I love you. 432 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:53,000 Wow. 433 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:56,120 - As a friend, as you said. - No. 434 00:26:56,120 --> 00:26:58,080 - Sorry. - You said too much, right? 435 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:02,800 Oh my God. Oh my fucking stupid mouth! 436 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,560 - Don't do that, okay? -Foolish! 437 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,680 It's okay. Don't do that, okay? Please... 438 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,840 I have a hidden feeling That you might be the reason for my death. 439 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:29,560 I opened the zipper. 440 00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:44,000 Friend requests (Martha Scott) 441 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:01,320 (David Cameron) > (Martha Scott) Save the day again!” 442 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,080 "He won't be able to do without me." 443 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:15,320 "I met someone today" 444 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:18,200 “My spoiled deer, let me keep him with me and hold on to him.” 445 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,800 "Martha Scott, the lawyer." 446 00:28:28,360 --> 00:28:29,680 "sick chase" 447 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:32,400 "Disbarred female lawyer" 448 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:34,920 "Sentencing for serial stalking." 449 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:45,960 I sat for hours taking it all in. 450 00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:47,720 I connect the parts of her story together. 451 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:51,240 Her job after graduation How she was fired for her inappropriate behavior with her boss. 452 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,840 How did you start hanging out outside his house? 453 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:57,320 Then falsely report him to the police Allegedly mistreating his disabled daughter. 454 00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,800 And the other time In which his mother was attacked in the street. 455 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,320 She was sentenced to four and a half years in prison. 456 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:23,320 I had a convicted stalker stalking me. 457 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:50,440 "Friends" 458 00:29:58,280 --> 00:29:59,600 Based on the play Baby Rinder. Written by Richard Gadd 459 00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:49,600 Translation of "Ola Ezzedine"