1 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:43,640 [parrot squawks] 2 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:50,320 [parrot] Heil Hitler! 3 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,440 [soldiers singing] 4 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:44,080 [grunts] 5 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,960 What the bloody hell did you do that for? 6 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:50,320 In German, man. Always in German. 7 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:54,040 You must instinctively speak German whenever you'’re surprised. 8 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:57,560 What chance do you think we'’ve got of successfully escaping otherwise, hmm? 9 00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:58,920 You should thank me, Chump. 10 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:00,000 [grunts] 11 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:03,360 Thank you, Forrester. 12 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,520 [sighs] 13 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:29,920 [clicks tongue] 14 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:36,720 I mean, what is there to look at after three and a half years, hmm? 15 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,320 Soon be over. You'’re escaping tomorrow, aren'’t you? 16 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,360 Shut up. 17 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,680 Security, you blithering idiot. 18 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:44,760 Sorry, Forrester. 19 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,240 [smacks lips] How I long for some black pudding. 20 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,280 [smacks lips] Will I ever taste any again? 21 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,360 [scoffs] You might quite soon. 22 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:58,160 What do you mean, Prof? 23 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,040 It'’s chocks away for you tonight. 24 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:02,960 How do you know? 25 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,480 Nobody'’s supposed to know, 26 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,560 if I am escaping, and I'’m not saying I am. 27 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:07,920 It'’s obvious. 28 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,600 The tension in your body, 29 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:12,920 the excitement in your eyes, the twitch of fear on your lips. 30 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,440 It is possible to be too clever, you know, Prof? 31 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,760 [toilet flushes] 32 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:31,160 Good luck, Chump.[sighs] 33 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:32,920 Good luck, Forrester. 34 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,040 [water splashing] 35 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,000 -[siren blaring] -[dogs barking] 36 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:24,960 [sighs] 37 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:40,720 -[door closes] -[key rattles] 38 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:41,800 Chump. 39 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,160 [Chump] Yeah? 40 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:46,960 I have a plan. 41 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,200 And its audacity will astound you. 42 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:53,240 All 327 of us?Why not? 43 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:56,080 The Germans are getting very short on manpower. 44 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,800 -Most of their troops-- -Yes, thank you, Cosgrove. 45 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,120 It is my plan. 46 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,640 I never said it wasn'’t. 47 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:05,160 No. It'’s just that I think it might be helpful 48 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:08,360 if I explain some of the thought processes which went into it. 49 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:16,480 It occurred to me how incredibly old and stupid most of the guards are. 50 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:19,200 The new Kommandant can'’t be a day under 70. 51 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:24,640 Jerry is incredibly short of manpower. 52 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,280 Most of their good bods are busy fighting. 53 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:33,480 I believe that if we can put them under real pressure, 54 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,160 they'’ll collapse. 55 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,720 Hello. Super evening. 56 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,320 I have no time for small chat. I must search hut 101. 57 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,040 Oh, have a piece of chocolate first.[stutters] 58 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,920 I dare not. I have my orders. If I disobey my-- 59 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,000 What sort of chocolate? 60 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,320 Milk! [chuckles] 61 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,120 How can everybody escape? 62 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,960 I mean, Hopkins can'’t escape. His legs are smashed to pieces. 63 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,960 He'’d be a liability, and he wouldn'’t allow that. 64 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,360 He'’s too proud. 65 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,320 All right, then. Everyone except Hopkins. 66 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,440 [Chump] You'’re a heartless bastard, Forrester. 67 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,160 Your point, exactly? 68 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,640 When the escape'’s discovered, all hell will break loose. 69 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,320 They'’ll have a roll call to find out who'’s still here. 70 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,360 There'’ll be 87 German guards 71 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:27,760 and Hopkins dragging himself across the parade ground to line up on his own. 72 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:32,320 We'’re not playing games here, Cosgrove. This is war. 73 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,800 [clicks tongue] Just a suggestion. 74 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:37,920 Haggis Barrington has really taken Hopkins under his wing. 75 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,760 He'’s like a father to him already. 76 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:44,200 Father and son. So touching, so moving. 77 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,880 This is right. 78 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:48,120 If Hopkins stayed, I think Haggis would want to stay too. 79 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,440 All right, then. I'’m not inhuman. 80 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:53,080 Everyone except Hopkins and Barrington. 81 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,880 Well, Barrington would be no use to Hopkins without Stefan Godborny. 82 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:58,480 Explain yourself, Owly. 83 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,760 Well, Haggis and Stefan are in love. 84 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,120 How dare you? 85 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,160 Well, I am afraid Owly'’s right, Wing Commander Forrester. 86 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:08,760 I knew from the start. 87 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,600 One would have to be pretty naive not to. 88 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,520 By God! 89 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,400 Godborny and Barrington, rear gunners? 90 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,600 I prided myself that at least we hadn'’t come to that. 91 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,680 Now, Godborny, I can believe. He'’s a Pole. 92 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,120 They'’re excitable. 93 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,000 But Barrington, he'’s Scottish. 94 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:30,320 Well, we don'’t want people like that escaping 95 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,080 and then undermining morale back home. 96 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,760 Thank you for the chocolate.Oh, yeah. Have another piece. 97 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,720 Uh, no, thank you. It was very nice, but duty calls. 98 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:39,800 Ah, duty. 99 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,240 Nervous twitch. 100 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:48,240 I thought you were giving a warning signal, no? 101 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,160 [laughs] 102 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,240 [chuckles] 103 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:55,000 And one for his nob. 104 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:05,360 [in German] 105 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:06,880 [parrot squawks][sighs] 106 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:14,520 [cuckoo clock chiming] 107 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:22,800 [Ferret] Hmm. 108 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,680 Right, now my plan is this. 109 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:32,600 Um, I shall be in charge of the whole operation incidentally. 110 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:33,920 Surprise, surprise. 111 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,040 Yes, well, I do think somebody has to be, 112 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,480 and I, uh, believe I'’m pretty confident in escaping, having escaped 23 times. 113 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,840 Well, so what? You'’re still here. 114 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:46,200 You'’ve been captured 23 times. This is competence? 115 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,480 Yes, thank you. We'’ve been through all that, Cosgrove. 116 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:51,760 Well, very well. 117 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,560 Does anyone else put themselves forward? 118 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,680 Good. Right. Now, perhaps we can get on with it. 119 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,240 Um, I shall be known as Big F incidentally. 120 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:07,600 [door closes][guards speaking German] 121 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,720 Now I plan no less than five tunnels. 122 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:16,320 Here, here, here, here and here. 123 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:20,480 They will be called Tom, Dick, Harry, Julian and Gladys. 124 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,200 Julian? 125 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:26,120 After my son. He'’s 15. He'’s a fine boy, considering. 126 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:30,520 And, Gladys, would that by any chance be named after the little lady? 127 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,040 It most certainly would not! 128 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,600 She isn'’t little, she isn'’t a lady, 129 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,600 and I'’ll thank you never to mention her again. 130 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,520 Still, it'’s a nice thought. 131 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,080 Perhaps I'’ll go through Gladys. [chuckles] 132 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,440 Yes, that'’s why I called one of the tunnels Gladys. 133 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:49,800 I realize that some of you 134 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,120 who aren'’t quite out of the top drawer 135 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,400 enjoy the occasional dirty little snigger. 136 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:59,640 Izzy, how soon can you make me German military or civilian uniforms for 327 prisoners? 137 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:03,720 [clicks tongue] 138 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:05,800 For you, four months. 139 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,240 I'’ll give you two. 140 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:09,440 Three. I can'’t do it in less. 141 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,360 Done. [clears throat] 142 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,800 Shorty, can you make up 327 sets of forged documents in three months? 143 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,720 If God helps us, and if I have the ink, yes. 144 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,160 Anything to get away from these buggers. 145 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:20,960 Right. 146 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,360 We go in three months from now. 147 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,440 Or on the first moonless night following it. 148 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:42,520 [whistles] 149 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:19,560 [grunts] 150 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,320 Do you see those weeds, Donaldson? 151 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,760 There'’s water round here. Probably an underground spring. 152 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,920 Oh, my God.What? 153 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,640 What? We don'’t want water going into certain... 154 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:40,280 [whispers] ...underground places of great importance. 155 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,960 Sorry, Donaldson. Not quite with you. 156 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,600 Oh, you mean the tunnels! 157 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,240 God, no, I never thought of that. 158 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,480 Shut up about tunnels, Einstein. 159 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,400 I know he probably can'’t understand us, 160 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,200 but you know how bad my nerves are. 161 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:58,440 Not one escape now for a month. 162 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,800 Not one man in the cooler. 163 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,840 Not even a complaint about the soup. 164 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,880 That must be very gratifying. 165 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,800 Of course it'’s not gratifying. Do you think I am stupid? 166 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:13,480 It means you are giving all your energies to something else. What are you planning? 167 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,720 Absolutely nothing, Herr Kommandant. 168 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,200 [scoffing] I do not believe you. 169 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,880 That is your privilege. 170 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,040 Why so gloomy, Einstein? 171 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:52,360 This sandy earth will be the ruin of my asparagus. 172 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,480 Casualty of war, old chap. 173 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:59,560 Getting the earth out of the tunnels is the real headache.[sighs] 174 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:02,360 Well... [sniffs] ...why don'’t we use some of the tunnels 175 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,000 to store the earth from the other tunnels? 176 00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:06,360 Good thinking, Shorty. 177 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,960 Well, no tunnel could take more earth than we dug out of it, 178 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,840 so we'’d end up with five tunnels full of earth, 179 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,160 and we might as well not have bothered to dig in the first place. 180 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:16,520 Congratulations, Shorty, on fatuousness beyond the call of duty. 181 00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:18,240 [inhales sharply] 182 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,560 Yes, as I say, it'’s good that you are thinking, Shorty, 183 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,560 but, uh, do try to be sensible.[screams, grunts] 184 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,960 Care for a piece of chocolate, old man? 185 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,880 I can'’t. The Kommandant wants to see Herr Forrester. 186 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,080 Which of you is Herr Forrester? 187 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,600 I am Wing Commander Forrester. 188 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:48,480 The Kommandant wants to see you. 189 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:51,320 Now! 190 00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,640 [clears throat] 191 00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:09,280 Please. Tell me what you are planning. 192 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,880 Would you really expect me to? 193 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,720 If we were planning anything, 194 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:16,400 which we aren'’t. 195 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,160 If you think we are, although we aren'’t, 196 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:23,640 well, you are just gonna have to try and find out, aren'’t you? 197 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:24,960 How can we? 198 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,840 You are crack airmen, 199 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,640 your resolution and invention sharpened by desperation. 200 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:30,960 We are a rabble. 201 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,560 Leftovers. The dregs. 202 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,280 Well, that'’s your problem. 203 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,600 My men can find out nothing. They are stupid. 204 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,320 The good men went to the front, 205 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,960 to the panzer divisions, to Rommel, to the Luftwaffe and the navy. 206 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,440 But you'’re not stupid. You said so yourself. 207 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,040 [scoffs] 208 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:57,080 I am old. 209 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,320 [reading aloud in German] 210 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,240 [speaking Welsh] 211 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,800 What an ugly language, eh? 212 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,360 What, worse than Welsh? 213 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,560 How dare you compare Welsh to German? 214 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,480 You really hate them, don'’t you? 215 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:19,160 I thought you taught German. 216 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,120 Well, I didn'’t know I hated them. 217 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,800 I thought it was the French I hated. 218 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,760 Mind you, I don'’t like them much either. 219 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,480 What about the English? 220 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,680 Can'’t stand the bastards.Yeah, right? 221 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,560 I like the British. 222 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:36,160 I once took a walking tour of Offa'’s Dyke. [chuckles] 223 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,400 Good times in pubs. 224 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,840 "A pint of Ansells, please". [laughs] 225 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:48,560 If you make a big escape, we are all for the Ostfront-- 226 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,040 the Eastern Front-- or worse. 227 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,160 So... 228 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,800 Please, help us. 229 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:01,240 I'’m embarrassed by your defeatism. 230 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:05,760 Me too, but... I am weary. 231 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:09,720 I am sorry. [sighs] 232 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,040 I'’d like to help you. 233 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:14,720 [clicks tongue] Oh, well. 234 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:23,320 [cuckoo clock chiming][door closes] 235 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,480 My poor old asparagus. 236 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:30,840 Never mind that. 237 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,040 The escape committee wishes to interview you. 238 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:36,640 Eight o'’clock this evening, Pilot Officer Price Egerton. 239 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,400 Oh, good. 240 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,480 [whispers] Because I'’ve got something to tell you. 241 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,720 I'’m sorry to have to question you like this, Price Egerton. 242 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,280 I know your father. He'’s a damn good chap. 243 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,200 Jesus. [sighs] 244 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:53,720 Your point, Morrison? 245 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,960 I just cannot believe the British class system. 246 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,880 No, I don'’t suppose you can, since you'’ve had no experience with class. 247 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:00,800 Oh, yeah. That'’s right. New Zealand'’s a complete dump. 248 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,400 I forgot.[clears throat] 249 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,440 Please tell us, Price Egerton, 250 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,120 why you crawled out from under a hut 251 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,760 and practically fell over one of the German ferrets? 252 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,240 I know it was stupid of me, but then I'’m not very bright. 253 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:16,800 I had an idea, you see? 254 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:18,720 [Chump] You had an idea? 255 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,560 Didn'’t they teach you at Pudsey Grammar School 256 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:24,080 that sarcasm is one of the lowest forms of wit, Cosgrove? 257 00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:25,880 Ignore them, Einstein. What'’s your idea? 258 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,880 Well, I knew there was water around, 259 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,240 and I thought there might be a well somewhere around, 260 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,880 and I found it. 261 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,120 The Germans had built a hut on top of it. 262 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:37,400 [Prof] Brilliant. 263 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,400 That'’s a brilliant idea, Einstein. 264 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,720 Well, I think we can all see what he'’s driving at, can't we? 265 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,000 Oh, yes, yes, yes. 266 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,960 Be, um-- 267 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,720 Be nice to give him an opportunity to spell it out for himself though. 268 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,560 Well, I thought the earth from the tunnels could go down the well. 269 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:54,800 [Prof] Precisely. 270 00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,160 Bang on, Einstein. Knew you had it in you. 271 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,560 Your mother was a lovely person. 272 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:03,640 [parrot squawks] 273 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,680 A glass of schnapps?Oh. 274 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:09,040 Thank you, uh, very much indeed. 275 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:14,120 I like you. 276 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,920 You may call me Heinrich. 277 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:20,200 Uh, Well, thank you again, Heinrich. 278 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,480 You may call me Big F. 279 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,240 Ah. 280 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,040 There. 281 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:33,040 Big F? 282 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:34,120 Yes, Heinrich. 283 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,880 You must be digging, yet there is no earth. 284 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:39,120 Really? 285 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:40,200 Yes. 286 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,520 I know you have a plan. Will you tell me what it is? 287 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:46,160 You know I can'’t. Cheerio. 288 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:51,480 I didn'’t expect you to tell me. Cheerio. 289 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,960 Here comes the difficult bit. 290 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,640 I almost feel a fool asking. 291 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:06,800 One can always ask. 292 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,480 You'’re right. 293 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:10,560 My, uh-- 294 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,040 My request is this. 295 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,960 Please, may we come with you? 296 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,240 But he was serious. 297 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,880 "We know we can'’t stop you going," he said. 298 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,320 "And the moment you have gone, we'’re dead men." 299 00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,200 [scoffs] Ridiculous. 300 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,880 Well, it'’s not that ridiculous from his point of view. 301 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,000 I mean, the bugger'’s probably right. 302 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,400 Um, maybe it isn'’t so ridiculous from our point of view. 303 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,680 Uh, I mean, it would make things easier. 304 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,240 Huh. "It would make things easier." 305 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:51,920 What an uplifting philosophy. 306 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,720 Look, you wouldn'’t be so scornful if I was Australian. 307 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:58,000 I'’m sorry, Big F, but I think Owly'’s right. 308 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,280 Look, you'’re a clever chap, Prof. 309 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,440 Intellectual, academic. 310 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,160 Why don'’t you leave the practicalities 311 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,160 to those of us who haven'’t got their heads in the clouds. 312 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,800 There'’s a good chap.I was actually thinking on practical lines. 313 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,720 It would make things easier. 314 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:14,680 There'’d be no guards, no searchlights, nobody to sound the alarm. 315 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,280 [Shorty] Ah. But could we trust the buggers? 316 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,040 They wouldn'’t need German uniforms. 317 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:21,120 That'’s true already. 318 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,840 They all have German uniforms already. 319 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,200 And documents. 320 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,440 They'’ve all got German passports. 321 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:27,560 I'’ll give the buggers that. 322 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,720 What causes most escapes to fail? 323 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:33,840 Our ignorance of German. Well, they all speak German. 324 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,840 Ah!Some good ideas there. 325 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,240 For a man with his head in the clouds. 326 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,920 Now, not you too, Chump. 327 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,880 No, I am sorry, Big F, but I think this idea, 328 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,520 fantastic though it sounds, has logic on its side. 329 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,920 Now we touched on logic at Pudsey Grammar School. 330 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,800 And I believe it'’s logical for the Jerries, 331 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,840 in their predicament, to accept reality and make this suggestion. 332 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,760 I also think it'’s logical for us to be realists 333 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,000 and accept their help. 334 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,680 I absolutely refuse. 335 00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:03,680 Sorry, Big F. 336 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,440 It'’s five-to-one against. 337 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:08,800 [scoffs] You can'’t have democracy in wartime. 338 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,680 Then what the hell are we fighting for? 339 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:16,600 [grunts] 340 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,360 Good God.[grunts] 341 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:30,920 What the hell did you think--You'’re a German, man! 342 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,480 Once you'’re to the other side of the wire, you won'’t get a second chance. 343 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,680 I'’m not going. I am staying here with Hoppy and Stefan. 344 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,560 No. As a matter of fact, you'’re not. 345 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,320 Everyone'’s going now, apparently. 346 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,280 Even Scottish homosexuals. 347 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:54,560 Sit down, Big F. 348 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,160 Thank you. I prefer to stand. 349 00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,800 A bit chilly this morning. 350 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:03,520 I thought it was the British who confined themselves to small talk about the weather. 351 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,640 I wasn'’t talking about the weather. 352 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,280 Oh, well, yes. 353 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:14,280 Look, were you serious about coming too? 354 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:15,880 Of course. 355 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:19,080 We have no alternative. You can trust me, incidentally. 356 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:20,920 Well, of course I can trust you. 357 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,800 You'’re a gentleman. It takes one to know one. 358 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:25,240 [chuckles] 359 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,040 You trust me, but you disapprove of my request? 360 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,720 Of course I do. It'’s ridiculous. 361 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:35,400 It is, isn'’t it? Splendidly ridiculous. [laughs] 362 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,640 The Germans have no sense of the ridiculous. 363 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:40,160 You should beware of racial stereotypes. 364 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:44,480 So, can we come with you? 365 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:51,920 Against my better judgement, yes. 366 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:53,600 Good. 367 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,440 We can be ready by Tuesday. 368 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,520 Tuesday? [scoffs] 369 00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,240 The tunnels won'’t be finished for at least three weeks. 370 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,120 So, there are tunnels? 371 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:07,640 Oh, my God. 372 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:09,640 Ha-- 373 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,600 Have I been tricked? 374 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:16,120 [chuckles] No, you tell us what we know. There are tunnels. 375 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:17,960 What we don'’t know is where. 376 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:20,400 And if you wish to hide them, 377 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,480 our chocolate-mad guards won'’t find them. 378 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,640 But now that we are coming with you, we don'’t need tunnels. 379 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:25,920 We can walk out of the gate. 380 00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,120 Walk out of the gate? [scoffs] 381 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,160 Walk out of the gate? 382 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:38,360 Men have sweated their guts out. 383 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:40,440 We'’ve dug tunnels. 384 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,720 We'’ve-- We've made air pumps. 385 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,480 We'’ve laid railway tracks. 386 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,120 We'’ve built trolleys. 387 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,720 It'’s like the London underground down there. 388 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,240 Men have risked their lives. 389 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:56,160 [scoffs] This is a classy operation, 390 00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:00,600 and we'’re not simply going to abandon it and walk out of the gate. 391 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,880 Now that is ridiculous. 392 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:10,240 There is a right way and a wrong way of doing these things, 393 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:11,760 KommandantStubenhalle. 394 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:15,440 If you were British, you would realize that. 395 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:21,120 We only needed five tunnels in case Jerry discovered some of them. 396 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,800 Well, that'’s hardly relevant, now that they'’re coming too. 397 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:25,960 So, I am closing down Tom, Dick and Harry 398 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,640 and concentrating on Julian and Gladys, which are further advanced. 399 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,880 No chance of discussing it, I suppose. 400 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,680 If Hitler'’s a dictator, Big F, what are you? 401 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:36,000 Oh, thank you. 402 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:37,680 That'’s just the support I needed. 403 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:39,800 All right. 404 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,760 I suggest we close down Tom, Dick and Harry. 405 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,720 Sounds like a grand idea to me. All those in favour? 406 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:51,760 [panting] 407 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:08,960 Rather dashing. [sighs] 408 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:11,840 Yes. 409 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,200 Oh, damn. 410 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,080 [panting] 411 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:35,080 Could you spell Obergefreiter? 412 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:40,960 O-B-R-G-F-R-E-I-T-E-R. 413 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:43,920 [grunts] 414 00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:06,000 Julian has broken through. 415 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,200 Julian has broken through. 416 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,680 Julian has broken through. 417 00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,520 [in German] 418 00:27:05,360 --> 00:27:08,400 [radio presenter speaking German] 419 00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:16,880 [cuckoo clock chimes] 420 00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:31,880 We go on the 23rd or the 24th. That'’s in 16 or 17 days' time. 421 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,520 [Izzy] Why the delay already? 422 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,320 There will be no moon then. 423 00:27:35,360 --> 00:27:36,800 Why does the moon matter? 424 00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:38,440 There will be nobody stopping us. 425 00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:40,400 I reckon we should get leaving now. 426 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:43,040 Mmm. It'’s a question of a thing they probably didn'’t teach you 427 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,120 at Pudsey Grammar School, Chump. 428 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:46,760 It'’s called "style". 429 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,280 You get engaged on long summer evenings 430 00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:53,160 just as the western sky is flushed with the first tinge of pink. 431 00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:58,400 You get divorced on dank, dark Thursdays... [sighs] 432 00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:00,760 ...when even the gunmetal sky is weeping. 433 00:28:02,120 --> 00:28:06,200 And you escape from prison camps on dark still moonless nights. 434 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,640 I would have thought there was a practical reason too. 435 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,000 Yes, well, trust you to take the poetry out of it. 436 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:19,320 Oh, yes, I'’m from dull, unpoetic little New Zealand, aren'’t I? 437 00:28:19,360 --> 00:28:23,040 My God, I'’d like to correct some of your cultural misconceptions. 438 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,200 I'’d just like to see the look on your face 439 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,760 when I showed you Dunedin Public Library. 440 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:32,240 How on earth were you ever made an officer, Morrison? 441 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:36,440 [radio presenter speaking German] 442 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:44,200 So, clear skies tomorrow night, but, uh, cloudy the night after. 443 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:45,840 Looks like the night after is the one. 444 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,200 [in German] 445 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:53,560 Yes, I'’m not too bad. 446 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:55,320 I prefer to speak English, though, if you don'’t mind. 447 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,240 You are our guests on this operation. 448 00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:01,040 Yes, that is fair. In English only then. 449 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,240 To a dark moonless night. 450 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:07,880 A dark moonless night. 451 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,080 Don'’t get up. 452 00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:14,880 Oh, you weren'’t. 453 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,640 Well, according to the German weather forecast, 454 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:18,840 the night after tomorrow will be better. 455 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,560 Yeah? Einstein says exactly the reverse. 456 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,120 Tell me, Chump, which do you trust more? 457 00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:25,800 The mighty German war machine, 458 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:28,680 or the rather dim third son of an English country gentleman? 459 00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:31,560 The rather dim third son. 460 00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:34,200 Good man. So do I. 461 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:35,360 We go tomorrow night. 462 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:41,440 We go tomorrow night. 463 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:51,280 We go tomorrow night. 464 00:29:58,320 --> 00:29:59,720 We go tomorrow night. 465 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:06,120 We go tomorrow night. 466 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,200 [in German] 467 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,600 [microphone feedback squeals] 468 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:25,040 [door opens] 469 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:34,320 [parrot speaks German] 470 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:40,120 Well done, Einstein. 471 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:42,080 Well done, indeed. 472 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,520 [brick scrapes, thuds] 473 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,600 [dirt clattering] 474 00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:53,600 [scraping] 475 00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:57,360 [chattering in German] 476 00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:58,800 [scoffs] 477 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:00,760 My men would never have found it. 478 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:02,920 Yes. Well, I don'’t like to boast, but I think we are pretty nifty 479 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:04,440 when it comes to escaping. 480 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:06,400 So, where will you go, Heinrich? Home? 481 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:10,200 Oh, dear, no. We will be marked men when the empty camp is discovered. 482 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,000 Switzerland. Perhaps, Sweden. 483 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:13,400 Lisbon? 484 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:15,760 I might even attempt to get to South America. 485 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:17,240 Will you be sad to leave Germany? 486 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,800 Of course I will, Big F. It is my home. 487 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,840 Can I have a word, Big F? In private. 488 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,160 Oh, very well. Carry on. 489 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:38,840 Pitch black. Perfect night for it. 490 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:41,240 Well, what is it, Chump? 491 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:43,760 I still don'’t trust him. 492 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:45,640 I mean, they are still the enemy, aren'’t they? 493 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:46,760 What are you suggesting? 494 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,440 I think we should make them go first. 495 00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:51,520 Make sure they don'’t leave anybody behind. 496 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:54,200 [scoffs] Well, I don'’t fancy telling Heinrich that. 497 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:57,480 He thinks I trust him. He respects me as a gentleman. 498 00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:01,680 And is your reputation as a gentleman more important than the success of this escape? 499 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:04,800 Well, no. [scoffs] Of course not. 500 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:05,880 What a thing to say. 501 00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,280 Well, then. Besides... 502 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:10,880 Besides? Besides what? 503 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:14,280 They'’re our tunnels. It is our escape. 504 00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:16,000 We should run the show our way. 505 00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:20,600 I think we should make them escape first. 506 00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:21,960 [thunder rumbles] 507 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,040 But-- 508 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:33,440 All right. Synchronise watches, please. The escape will commence at... 509 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,600 2315 hours precisely. 510 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,440 Now the first to escape will be-- 511 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:41,880 All the Germans. 512 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:43,080 [all cheering] 513 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:45,320 [in German] 514 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,880 I'’m disappointed in you, Big F. 515 00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:54,040 It'’s not a question of trust, Heinrich. Of course we trust you. 516 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:55,880 We have a gentlemen'’s agreement. 517 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,240 But this is our show. You begged us. 518 00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:02,040 You, our captors, to come along and help you out. Hmm? 519 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,720 Look, we'’d be failing in our duty. 520 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,200 [stutters] It would be unseemly. 521 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:13,720 It would lack the proper style if we didn'’t humiliate you a little first. Hmm? 522 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:15,000 You must see that. 523 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:19,160 Yes. Yes, I understand. 524 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:22,680 I'’d do the same in your position. Fine, we go first. 525 00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,240 See you on the other side of the wire, Big F. 526 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:31,600 See you on the other side of the wire, Heinrich. 527 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:33,960 [grunts] 528 00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,720 [panting] 529 00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:09,720 [speaking German] 530 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:10,920 [hums] 531 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:21,560 It'’ll do. 532 00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:26,520 You know, I never really feel I know you, Izzy. 533 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:27,880 Of course you don'’t. 534 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,480 I hide behind the racial stereotype. 535 00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:33,440 I beg your pardon? 536 00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:37,480 A little Jewish tailor who always says, "Already, already". 537 00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:39,880 So, who knows the real me? 538 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:42,000 Nobody. 539 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:45,160 So it'’s easier to get through the war. 540 00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:49,560 Gosh. That'’s a jolly clever wheeze. 541 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:52,720 Wish I'’d thought of becoming a stereotype Englishman, 542 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:54,800 then nobody would have known the real me. 543 00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:00,680 All right. That'’s the last of the Germans gone. 544 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,080 Last of the Krauts have gone through Gladys, Big F. 545 00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,840 Please. They'’re gonna help us get out of Germany. 546 00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,680 I really don'’t think you should call them Krauts, especially behind their backs. 547 00:35:09,720 --> 00:35:12,200 Manners are important, as you'’d know if you'd-- 548 00:35:12,240 --> 00:35:14,480 Oh, as I'’d know if I'd gone to public school. 549 00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:16,720 By heck, Big F. 550 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:18,920 There are times I hope I never set eyes on you again. 551 00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:20,760 I don'’t think you will. 552 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:23,560 We'’re hardly likely to move in the same social circles, are we? 553 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:25,600 Shorty, why don'’t you go first? 554 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:27,080 Oh, thank you. 555 00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:30,800 Oh--Hang on a minute, everybody! 556 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:33,800 Oh, what is it now, Prof? Another lecture on logic? 557 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:34,880 Einstein had an idea. 558 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:37,680 And I think it'’s a very interesting one. 559 00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:39,280 Tell them, Einstein. 560 00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:41,080 Thank you. 561 00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:43,960 Well, it'’s this really. 562 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:47,160 It'’s awfully peaceful without the Germans. Why don'’t we just stay? 563 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,880 [thunder rumbling] 564 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,320 Tommy! 565 00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:58,480 Where are you? 566 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:04,040 Has something gone wrong? 567 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:07,360 Einstein, I'’m ashamed of you. 568 00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:11,520 Your parents will be turning in their graves, if they weren'’t still alive. 569 00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:15,040 Well, it-- it would be quite pleasant without them here. 570 00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:17,800 Quite pleasant? Quite pleasant? 571 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,040 One has to make allowances for you. You'’re not British. 572 00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:23,000 But, Prof, I am surprised at you. 573 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:25,960 You'’re an intelligent man. How can you take this nonsense seriously? 574 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,040 It would have enormous advantages. 575 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:29,800 Such as? 576 00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:31,160 [Prof] None of us would die. 577 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:32,560 [thunder rumbling] 578 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,200 Shorty, what do you say? 579 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:37,040 Well, I like the idea of not dying. 580 00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:42,160 Well, there'’d be no lights out, no stretches in the cooler. 581 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,560 It would be an awful shame to miss the asparagus. 582 00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:47,880 Asparagus? Asparagus? 583 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:49,640 It'’s lovely hot with melted butter. 584 00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:52,600 I prefer it cold, with a good vinaigrette. 585 00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:54,920 Yum-yum. [chuckles] 586 00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:56,880 Yum-yum? 587 00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:02,080 Gentlemen, what'’s happened to the bulldog spirit? 588 00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:05,520 [Kommandant] What is happening? Where are you? 589 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:08,960 Big F, what is going on? 590 00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:11,520 Oh, come on, chaps. 591 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,840 It is a prisoner'’s duty to escape. 592 00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:17,040 But there aren'’t any guards anymore, so we aren'’t prisoners anymore. 593 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:20,440 Chump, can you help me out? 594 00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:23,000 You are appealing to me for help? 595 00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:27,640 Oh, please. No sarcasm. [sighs] Perhaps I am tired. 596 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:31,040 I just don'’t seem to have it in me to persuade these fellas anymore. 597 00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:35,200 You'’re young, energetic. The stage is yours. 598 00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:39,160 Prove to us that grammar schools can turn out leaders. 599 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:41,640 I'’m sorry, Big F. 600 00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:43,560 There is a time for heroes, and maybe this isn'’t it. 601 00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:47,040 So we break out? What happens? 602 00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,960 Even with the help of all them Jerries out there, 603 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,440 a lot of us will be picked up before we reach the frontier. 604 00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:54,640 Shot maybe. Certainly imprisoned. 605 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,200 And those of us who do make it back to Blythe Hill 606 00:37:57,240 --> 00:37:58,960 find their wives in bed with other men. 607 00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:04,080 Then they'’ll shoot those men right in the guts. 608 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,520 End up in Dartmoor. 609 00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,360 And how many of us will fight again, eh? 610 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,520 One? Two? 611 00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:17,760 Is it worth it when the Allies are already beginning to win the war without us. 612 00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:20,760 I vote we stay. 613 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:24,000 [clicks tongue] Oh, Chump. 614 00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:28,120 [dogs barking] 615 00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:31,040 I am coming back to find out what is going on. 616 00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,240 The Kommandantis leading them back through the tunnels. 617 00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,680 Chump, get Gladys blocked off. I am going down Julian. 618 00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:43,080 We must stop them. 619 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:46,000 -Come on, lads. -This way, gents. After them. 620 00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:48,640 Hurry! 621 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,320 Careful, sir. We don'’t want to lose you. 622 00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:53,880 Risk I have to take, Barton. 623 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:59,600 [British soldiers shouting] 624 00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:07,760 [Prof] What are you going to do? 625 00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:09,120 Create a roof fall. 626 00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:11,560 Well, what else can I do? 627 00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:13,040 Well, you be careful, Chump. 628 00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:15,400 It'’d be a bit of a bind if you bought it now. 629 00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:23,400 [muttering in German] 630 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:43,720 Come on. 631 00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,080 [grunts, groans] 632 00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,360 [grunts] Wing Commander! 633 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:06,600 Big F, are you all right? 634 00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:07,960 [Forrester] Oh.Oh, thank God. 635 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,280 Get me out of here. 636 00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:11,040 [grunts, speaks German] 637 00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:19,040 [grunting] 638 00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,800 [Kommandant groans][speaking German] 639 00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:27,560 [grunts] 640 00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:33,160 [coughing, grunts] 641 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,200 [panting] 642 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,040 [grunts] 643 00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:45,400 Chump! Chump! 644 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:51,520 Yes, all right, clear away. Come on. 645 00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:52,840 Come on. A chair for the wing commander. 646 00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:58,960 [timber creaking] 647 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:02,520 Chump! Chump. [sighs] 648 00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:04,000 Einstein? 649 00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:06,240 [coughing] 650 00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:08,080 [Forrester] Let'’s get him to the lavs. 651 00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:12,840 [shouting in German] 652 00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,240 [guards shouting in German] 653 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:30,080 I'’m going to have to go and talk to them. 654 00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:31,840 [shouting continues] 655 00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:33,920 [in German] 656 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:37,640 [shouting stops] 657 00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:38,720 I trusted you. 658 00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,320 I thought you were an English gentleman. 659 00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:46,000 [Forrester] You should beware of racial stereotypes. 660 00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:58,080 Come on, you'’ll never do it. There'’s three times as many of us. 661 00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:02,600 We'’re crack airmen. You'’re rabble. Leftovers. The dregs. 662 00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:05,040 If a German lorry or the SS turn up now, 663 00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:07,280 how will you explain what you'’re doing outside? 664 00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:08,600 [Forrester] Good point. 665 00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,360 [Forrester, in German] 666 00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,120 [horn honking] 667 00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:33,120 [all cheering] 668 00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:46,320 [in German] 669 00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:08,720 I came back to wish you luck. 670 00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:13,080 That'’s extraordinarily generous of you under the circumstances, Heinrich. 671 00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:16,080 No. It is realism. 672 00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:18,200 Our fortunes are linked to yours. 673 00:43:18,240 --> 00:43:22,000 If you are not found out, then nobody will know that we have escaped. 674 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:26,200 If you are found out, then we will become the hunted. 675 00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:28,520 Well, I wish you luck too. 676 00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:31,200 [Kommandant] Thank you. 677 00:43:31,240 --> 00:43:32,720 Cos if you'’re caught, then we'’re for it. 678 00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:34,840 We will not be caught. 679 00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:37,360 We speak good German. We have correct papers. 680 00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:41,600 We can be thousands of miles away on leave in neutral countries. 681 00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:44,240 If you are not caught. 682 00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:49,440 I also wish you luck, Heinrich, because I like you. 683 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:54,560 Thank you, Big F. I like you too. 684 00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:58,840 Please, call me F. 685 00:44:00,720 --> 00:44:01,760 Thank you. 686 00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:06,560 I hope we meet again in happier times, F. 687 00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:08,240 Yes. 688 00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:12,640 Look, if this silly business ever ends, 689 00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,360 which, of course, it will, 690 00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:18,240 and you happen to find yourself in the vicinity of Weybridge, 691 00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:19,560 do look in. 692 00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:22,040 Number 33 Bagshot Road. 693 00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:24,840 Thank you. 694 00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:26,760 Better turn these lights out. It don'’t look normal. 695 00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:28,880 Yes, good, uh-- Good thinking, Chump. 696 00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:32,560 Look, I-- I-- I do mean that. 697 00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:36,040 I-- I know vague invitations, when you don'’t give a date, 698 00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:37,680 are often insincere, 699 00:44:37,720 --> 00:44:39,680 but it'’s just that I can'’t give you a firm date, 700 00:44:39,720 --> 00:44:41,880 because I don'’t know when this damn war is going to end, 701 00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:43,760 but I do mean it. 702 00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:45,960 Not a great man with an oven, 703 00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,880 but I can turn out an acceptable roast dinner. 704 00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:49,880 [chuckles] Thank you. 705 00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:53,640 Well... 706 00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:56,720 Auf Wiedersehen,F. 707 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,480 Auf Wiedersehen,Heinrich. 708 00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:26,560 You were bang on with that lorry, Chump. 709 00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:29,320 And that was a very clever remark you made back there at the gate, Owly. 710 00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:30,760 For a New Zealander, you mean. 711 00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:32,720 [grunts] Why the hell did you do that? 712 00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:35,080 In German, always in German.Ugh. 713 00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,280 We don'’t need that now. We'’re all allies. 714 00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,240 Uh, far from it. 715 00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:42,280 Supplies will be arriving. There will be telephone calls, inspections. 716 00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:45,480 Everything will have to seem just as it was when Jerry was here. 717 00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:46,920 Now, that means-- 718 00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:51,240 Precisely. We'’re gonna need bags of Jerries. 719 00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,720 Jerries to run the camp, Jerries to answer the phone, 720 00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:58,320 Jerries to run the cookhouse, Jerries to accept supplies. 721 00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:00,920 Yeah. I'’d estimate 722 00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:07,080 we are gonna need at least 100 of us turning into Jerries overnight. 723 00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:08,520 Gott im Himmel. 724 00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:10,920 Well done, Shorty. You'’ve just volunteered. 725 00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:20,160 By tomorrow morning, if a laundry van arrives, delivery van, whatever, 726 00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:22,560 everything must be absolutely normal. 727 00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:24,760 Place must be stiff with German guards. 728 00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:27,640 Can I just say, Big F, 729 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:30,480 since I know you weren'’t in favour of this particular course of action, 730 00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:32,200 how much we admire the wholeheartedness 731 00:46:32,240 --> 00:46:34,120 in which you have thrown yourself into this operation. 732 00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,760 Uh, no, Chump, you may not. There isn'’t time. But thank you. 733 00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:40,120 Well, I'’m a realist, I face facts. The past is dead and gone. 734 00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:42,520 Ugh. How true. 735 00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:47,240 Now, does anybody have any ideas where we are going to find 100 Germans? 736 00:46:48,240 --> 00:46:51,240 First of all, everyone who speaks German. 737 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:52,920 Mm. Sounds reasonable. 738 00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:55,080 [Izzy] All those I'’ve made German uniforms for already. 739 00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,080 Good thinking.Ah. 740 00:46:57,120 --> 00:47:00,560 But do we know how many of the men who have German uniforms speak German? 741 00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:04,520 That'’s a very good point, Shorty. We must find out. 742 00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:08,440 How many of you speak German? 743 00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:17,000 Good. Thank you. Put your hands down. 744 00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:22,080 [in German] 745 00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:28,040 Four. 746 00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:32,600 But how come 17 of you say you understand German, 747 00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:35,760 but then when I ask you how many of you speak German in German, 748 00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:37,840 only four of you put your hands up? 749 00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:40,560 Come on, chaps. I don'’t want lies. 750 00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:44,400 I don'’t want wishful thinking. How many of you can really speak German? 751 00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:49,040 Four.Yes, I can count. 752 00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:52,000 Oh, God. [sighs] 753 00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:57,960 So, if any Germans turn up at the camp tomorrow, 754 00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:02,440 they'’ll find four men in German uniforms who can actually speak German. 755 00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:07,520 Perhaps we should find out how many of those who don'’t have German uniforms speak German. 756 00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:11,640 [Shorty] Quiet boys, please. Quiet. 757 00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:21,040 [Shorty] Nine. 758 00:48:21,720 --> 00:48:23,640 I can count. 759 00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:26,360 Nine. 760 00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:28,560 Bloody hell! 761 00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:32,640 Izzy, how quickly can you get me nine German uniforms made? 762 00:48:33,240 --> 00:48:34,720 For you, six days. 763 00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:36,640 Two days.Four days. 764 00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:38,160 Done. 765 00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:42,480 It is possible that some of the German uniforms I made 766 00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:46,760 for prisoners who don'’t speak German already might fit some of the nine German speakers 767 00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:49,200 who don'’t have German uniforms already. 768 00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:00,280 I'’ll see what I can do. 769 00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:05,440 Right. Now I'’m gonna become the camp Kommandant. 770 00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:07,240 Oh. Surprise, surprise. 771 00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:09,240 Yes, I'’ll pretend you didn'’t say that, Chump, 772 00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:12,120 to spare you the shame you will feel when you recall that you did say it. 773 00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:14,440 I don'’t want the job. I don'’t wanna be a German. 774 00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:16,680 I'’d like your job.My job? 775 00:49:16,720 --> 00:49:18,720 You'’re going to be the unofficial leader of the prisoners. 776 00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:20,080 You'’ll be known as Big C. 777 00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:22,920 Thank you, Big F. I am touched. 778 00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,080 Don'’t be a chump, Chump. You'’re the obvious man. 779 00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:28,200 [clicks tongue] Well, I'’ll get some escape plans drawn up straight away. 780 00:49:28,240 --> 00:49:31,160 Escape plans? You don'’t need to escape now, do you, Chump? 781 00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:33,360 Well, I'’ve got to do something. 782 00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:36,440 It'’s a little question of what we at Pudsey Grammar School would call "style". 783 00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:39,040 There'’s no time for style now. We'’ve got work to do. 784 00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:44,160 Do you have a German uniform that fits, Big F? 785 00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:46,480 Good thinking, Prof. No, I don'’t, and I must. 786 00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:48,240 How soon can you make me one, Izzy? 787 00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:50,520 [clears throat] For you, 12 o'’clock this morning. 788 00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:51,920 Six o'’clock.Nine o'’clock. 789 00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:54,160 Done. Off you go then. Get away-- 790 00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:55,920 He'’s gone already.Yes, I see. 791 00:49:56,920 --> 00:50:01,520 Right. Now, we'’re gonna have to teach a lot more men German pretty damn quick. 792 00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:04,160 Who should do that do you think, Shorty? 793 00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:06,040 Oh, no. No. 794 00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:10,080 [sighs] Hey-ho. 795 00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:12,640 Another casualty of the war. 796 00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:15,000 [parrot] Heil Hitler. 797 00:50:15,040 --> 00:50:21,040 Now you better pull your finger out, young bird. Try this. 798 00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:22,840 Now... [imitating Winston Churchill] 799 00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:25,240 Never in the field of human conflict 800 00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:30,240 has so much been owed by so many, uh, to so few. 801 00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:33,240 [parrot] Heil Hitler.[clicks tongue] Right. 802 00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:38,160 Come on here, you nuts.[parrot squawking] 803 00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:39,400 Stop moving. 804 00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:42,400 How can I measure you if you move? 805 00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:44,920 [sighs][parrot] Heil Hitler! 806 00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:54,480 [sewing machine rattling] 807 00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:08,080 [spits] 808 00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:13,640 I am not at all happy about your backside. 809 00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:14,720 [phone rings] 810 00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:15,800 Not happy at all. 811 00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:17,640 Hallo. 812 00:51:19,240 --> 00:51:22,760 Well... [sighs] ...check his papers. Find out what he'’s bringing. 813 00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:27,040 Hold him up as long as you can. Ring me back when he'’s gone and pray. 814 00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:30,840 What'’s wrong with my backside? 815 00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:32,520 It doesn'’t fit my trousers. 816 00:51:32,560 --> 00:51:34,600 [engine idling] 817 00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:40,880 [in German] 818 00:51:55,560 --> 00:51:57,600 [gears grinding] 819 00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:08,640 Why can'’t people be shaped liked clothes. 820 00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:10,720 [phone ringing] 821 00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:17,480 Hallo. 822 00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,560 [gate guard] I can'’t hold him any longer. 823 00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:22,760 I told him we'’re all new. I told him the Fuehrer'’s had a new idea. 824 00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:24,200 Rotation of staff. 825 00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:27,600 Yes. I was quite pleased with it. 826 00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:30,000 He'’s gone to the cookhouse. 827 00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:32,640 Well-- Oh, and he says "Heil Hitler" a lot. 828 00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:35,720 [sighs] Does he? I'’ll sell him my parrot. 829 00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:39,200 Big F--Look, he'’s gone to the cookhouse. 830 00:52:39,240 --> 00:52:41,680 No one there speaks German. 831 00:52:41,720 --> 00:52:45,440 This isn'’t any time for your perfectionist fiddle-faddle. This isn'’t Savile bloody Row. 832 00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:49,200 No. It'’s just that your flies are undone.[parrot chuckles] 833 00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:52,080 [in German] 834 00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:01,600 [all, in German] 835 00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:19,680 Barrington. 836 00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:24,360 Barrington. 837 00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:28,920 [sighs] 838 00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:36,040 Are you Barrington? 839 00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:39,000 Do you not know that I am? 840 00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:41,240 Well, say "here." 841 00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:43,480 Can you not see that I am here? 842 00:54:43,520 --> 00:54:46,680 Everything has to look like a normal German camp. 843 00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:51,120 And in a normal German camp, the prisoners say "here." 844 00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:53,000 So, please, just say, "Here." 845 00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:56,000 Nothing, well, here. 846 00:54:58,000 --> 00:54:59,040 Thank you. 847 00:55:00,720 --> 00:55:02,680 Barton?[Barton] Here. 848 00:55:02,720 --> 00:55:05,680 And fully understanding the necessity for all this palaver, unlike some. 849 00:55:05,720 --> 00:55:07,000 Oh, shut up. 850 00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:08,640 That'’s a bit rich. 851 00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:10,240 Chap fits in, does what he'’s told, gets a rocket. 852 00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:13,040 Look, we have to do things properly. 853 00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:15,120 You have to say "here," 854 00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:19,120 not, "Fully understanding the necessity for all this palaver, unlike some." 855 00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:21,080 Supposing everybody said, 856 00:55:21,120 --> 00:55:24,120 "Fully understanding the necessity for all this palaver, unlike some." 857 00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:26,160 [whimpers] We would be here all day. 858 00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:29,360 A lecture now? I thought things would be fine when the Germans had gone. 859 00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,560 Seems some chaps are getting decidedly edgy. 860 00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:32,640 Shut up. 861 00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:35,160 Who says "too edgy"? 862 00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:36,360 Who? You? 863 00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:41,120 [in German] 864 00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:45,360 [sniffs] 865 00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:49,880 We still need more Germans. 866 00:55:49,920 --> 00:55:53,640 You two will become Germans as from 1200 hours. Do you understand? 867 00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:55,960 Jawohl, meinnothing fuehrer! 868 00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:59,200 On second thought, I'’m not sure I want you on my side. 869 00:55:59,240 --> 00:56:02,040 You can ignore that order as far as you'’re concerned, Haggis. Come on, Barton. 870 00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:03,920 [Barton] This is utterly unfair! 871 00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:06,240 He refuses to say "here" and swears. 872 00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:08,800 All I do is say, "Fully understanding the necessity"-- 873 00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:10,200 Shut... 874 00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:13,120 ...up. 875 00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:18,160 Ah, I have to inspect your hut. 876 00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:20,440 Oh, fair enough. Can I bribe you with a piece of chocolate? 877 00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:22,920 Oh, you certainly can'’t. I don'’t accept bribes. 878 00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:25,520 I have a job to do. 879 00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:28,880 Well, the German guards always accepted bribes. 880 00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:31,640 I don'’t care what the German guards did. 881 00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:33,440 I don'’t. 882 00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:35,800 Besides, I'’m absolutely full. I had a lovely steak for lunch. 883 00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:39,520 Steak? We had mince. Minced horse. 884 00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:41,040 Actually, I could hardly finish mine. 885 00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:43,440 I rather gorged myself on caviar. 886 00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:50,680 [Shorty, in German] 887 00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:02,920 What'’s German for "Land of My Fathers"? 888 00:57:08,640 --> 00:57:10,240 I like tits best. 889 00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:11,560 Really? 890 00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:13,600 I'’m a legs-and-arse man myself. 891 00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:17,200 Great tits, blue tits, cold tits. 892 00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:19,920 What did you say? 893 00:57:20,680 --> 00:57:23,200 Sorry, I thought you-- Sorry. 894 00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:26,400 I think it'’s rather horrid to talk about women like that, 895 00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:28,960 as if they'’re just bodies and not people. 896 00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:30,720 Yeah, I suppose you'’re right. I'm sorry. 897 00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:37,200 Talking about women, Einstein, have you ever, you know, had a girlfriend? 898 00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:39,400 No, I haven'’t. 899 00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:43,440 What would I talk to them about? 900 00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:46,800 I'’ve never got the hang of all that conversation lark. 901 00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:48,440 Stop idling! 902 00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:51,320 Haven'’t you got work to do? You, come here. 903 00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:52,760 Come off it, Barton. 904 00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:57,880 Look! When I say, "Come here," I mean it. 905 00:57:57,920 --> 00:57:59,040 Oh, don'’t be so stupid. 906 00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:04,400 I don'’t think you will be calling me stupid again in a hurry. 907 00:58:05,040 --> 00:58:06,360 Message for you. 908 00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:08,240 The Kommandant can see you straight away. 909 00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:15,800 Do you think he was just entering into the spirit of the thing? 910 00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:18,920 No, I think he was enjoying his power. 911 00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:22,000 Bound to be some, I suppose. 912 00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:35,600 [clears throat] 913 00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:39,280 You have a complaint, I believe. 914 00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:42,480 Yeah, Barton just hit me. You wanna watch him, Big F. 915 00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:45,880 Uh, thank you. I think I know how to control my men, Big C. 916 00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:49,520 Uh, but that can'’t be your complaint, can it? 917 00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:51,840 Because you'’d asked to see me before he hit you. 918 00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:55,320 So, unless you are psychic, you could hardly have asked to see me to complain about that. 919 00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:59,560 No, it'’s the grub. You have steaks, caviar. 920 00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:01,760 You are prisoners of war. 921 00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:03,400 We'’re all prisoners of war. 922 00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:06,360 And don'’t tell me it'’s a question of style 923 00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:08,000 that you have caviar while we have mince, 924 00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:09,960 otherwise I'’ll say up yours, Big F. 925 00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:12,320 Oh, do. That would be so stylish. 926 00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:15,920 No, it'’s, uh-- it's a question of necessity, uh, Chump. 927 00:59:15,960 --> 00:59:17,960 I find I can go thus far and no further. 928 00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:20,560 There are Jerries coming into the camp all the time. 929 00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:23,600 And I find I have inherited certain black market perks, 930 00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:27,680 which-- which are difficult to turn down without arousing suspicion. 931 00:59:27,720 --> 00:59:30,720 I do have to maintain some authenticity. 932 00:59:30,760 --> 00:59:33,400 Pity, really. Most of the chaps hate caviar. 933 00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:34,880 Why you-- [grunts] 934 00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:36,560 What the hell do you think you are doing? 935 00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:39,720 German, German, speak German. 936 00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:42,600 Oh, yes. [chuckles] 937 00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:45,640 Well done. Very good, Chump. Yes. 938 00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:49,080 You didn'’t need to kick me quite so hard. 939 00:59:49,120 --> 00:59:50,840 Have to maintain some authenticity. 940 00:59:50,880 --> 00:59:52,920 [phone ringing]You bastard. 941 00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:01,040 [in German] 942 01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:21,760 [chuckles] 943 01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:35,120 [sighs] 944 01:00:38,600 --> 01:00:41,520 SS inspection tomorrow morning. 945 01:00:41,560 --> 01:00:42,960 Oh, heck. 946 01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:44,040 [grunts] 947 01:00:44,800 --> 01:00:47,160 [speaking German] 948 01:00:49,040 --> 01:00:50,520 That'’s better. 949 01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:03,080 What? 950 01:01:04,440 --> 01:01:06,640 [in German] 951 01:01:09,440 --> 01:01:12,160 Oh. Sorry, I-- I still don'’t understand much German, 952 01:01:12,200 --> 01:01:13,960 unless it'’s spoken very slowly. 953 01:01:38,440 --> 01:01:39,480 [Shorty] Come in. 954 01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:41,280 [snorts] Gott im Himmel. 955 01:01:42,040 --> 01:01:44,840 You do not say "come in" in English. 956 01:01:45,320 --> 01:01:46,480 [in German] 957 01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:48,040 Yes, well, English will do for now. 958 01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:49,120 It'’ll be quicker. 959 01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:51,360 Tell me this. 960 01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:54,560 How many of your students could pass as pucker Jerries? 961 01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:58,960 [puffs] In proper conversation, maybe seven? 962 01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:00,920 Oh, God. 963 01:02:00,960 --> 01:02:03,120 A few words about the weather, nice day, blah-blah-blah, 964 01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:06,920 plus a few simple commands, maybe, ooh, another 12. 965 01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:08,720 Yes, unfortunately, we can'’t guarantee 966 01:02:08,760 --> 01:02:11,440 that the SS will stick to "a few words about the weather, 967 01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:13,400 nice day, blah-blah-blah," can we? 968 01:02:14,440 --> 01:02:15,760 Damn. 969 01:02:15,800 --> 01:02:19,840 So that'’s your seven, plus another five, 970 01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:24,720 plus the nine for whom Izzy has got uniforms that actually fit. 971 01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:29,240 That makes a total of 21 people, including myself, 972 01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:32,280 who can safely be allowed to speak German. 973 01:02:32,320 --> 01:02:35,720 Out of a German workforce of 112. 974 01:02:37,080 --> 01:02:40,160 [clicks tongue] Some could be off duty, out the camp. 975 01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:43,120 Some could be shift workers and asleep already. 976 01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:49,480 Good, good. Let'’s say 20 asleep and one day off in seven. 977 01:02:50,280 --> 01:02:53,320 Uh, seven into 112 is... 978 01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:54,560 Sixteen. 979 01:02:57,440 --> 01:02:59,840 Sixteen. Thank you, Prof. 980 01:02:59,880 --> 01:03:03,560 Sixteen plus 20 is 36. 981 01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:06,800 Thirty-six away from 112... 982 01:03:06,840 --> 01:03:08,360 Seventy-six. 983 01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:14,720 Seventy-six. Thank you, Prof. 984 01:03:14,760 --> 01:03:19,000 Seventy-six minus the 21 who can speak German leaves-- 985 01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:21,320 For you? 55. 986 01:03:21,360 --> 01:03:22,920 Fifty-five. 987 01:03:22,960 --> 01:03:27,760 Fifty-five supposed Germans who can'’t speak German. 988 01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:29,880 What am I going to do with them? 989 01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:31,240 Laryngitis. 990 01:03:33,760 --> 01:03:37,520 Fifty-five German soldiers with laryngitis. 991 01:03:37,560 --> 01:03:39,840 Highly convincing. Thank you, Owly. 992 01:03:39,880 --> 01:03:41,440 [Izzy] Could be German laryngitis. 993 01:03:42,520 --> 01:03:44,000 Like German measles. 994 01:03:44,920 --> 01:03:46,640 Only attacks Germans? 995 01:03:47,480 --> 01:03:50,080 Don'’t be ridiculous, Izzy. 996 01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:52,760 One little question about Owly'’s idea, 997 01:03:52,800 --> 01:03:54,800 of which you were so scornful, Big F. 998 01:03:56,040 --> 01:03:57,320 Do you have anything better? 999 01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:03,400 Laryngitis it is. 1000 01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:05,360 Oh, God. 1001 01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:22,720 [soldier speaking German] 1002 01:04:45,960 --> 01:04:49,680 You are not tidy. You are a dirty swine. 1003 01:04:49,720 --> 01:04:53,320 It'’s all right. My sex life is legendary in parts of Glasgow. 1004 01:04:53,360 --> 01:04:55,640 Oh, so you are insolent also. 1005 01:04:57,040 --> 01:05:00,440 [in German] 1006 01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:18,440 [clears throat] Come with me to the cooler, please. 1007 01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:34,840 [stutters] Come on. Move it, you homosexual Scottish bastard. 1008 01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:36,040 [grunts] 1009 01:05:46,680 --> 01:05:48,560 You, what is your name? 1010 01:05:48,600 --> 01:05:50,760 [speaks Polish] 1011 01:05:50,800 --> 01:05:53,400 Unfortunately for you, I understand Polish. 1012 01:05:53,440 --> 01:05:55,960 And I have no intention of humping a cabbage. 1013 01:05:57,080 --> 01:05:58,120 [grunts] 1014 01:06:32,040 --> 01:06:33,120 [in German] 1015 01:08:18,120 --> 01:08:19,520 [whispers] Do you speak German? 1016 01:08:20,240 --> 01:08:21,760 Come on. It'’ll have to do. 1017 01:08:23,160 --> 01:08:24,360 [in German] 1018 01:08:52,600 --> 01:08:53,640 [scoffs] 1019 01:08:55,360 --> 01:08:56,640 [in Polish] 1020 01:09:05,560 --> 01:09:06,720 [sniffs] 1021 01:09:08,040 --> 01:09:09,920 [in Polish] 1022 01:09:28,800 --> 01:09:32,120 [in German] 1023 01:09:49,920 --> 01:09:51,600 We meet again, Haggis. 1024 01:09:52,400 --> 01:09:54,400 The pleasure is entirely yours. 1025 01:09:54,440 --> 01:09:57,280 And what do you think of life in the cooler? 1026 01:09:57,320 --> 01:09:59,000 Mm. It'’s not too bad. 1027 01:10:00,920 --> 01:10:02,800 It'’s a bit like living in Glasgow. 1028 01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:05,480 [in German] 1029 01:10:15,280 --> 01:10:17,120 [in German] 1030 01:10:47,880 --> 01:10:48,920 [parrot, in German] 1031 01:11:16,200 --> 01:11:17,320 [sighs] 1032 01:11:20,480 --> 01:11:26,120 I shall speak to you all in English for the last time. 1033 01:11:26,160 --> 01:11:31,560 After today, we only speak English to the prisoners. 1034 01:11:31,600 --> 01:11:33,720 And we give them a miserable time. 1035 01:11:34,760 --> 01:11:37,640 Miserable. Is that understood? 1036 01:11:37,680 --> 01:11:39,040 [Shorty] You'’re enjoying this. 1037 01:11:40,280 --> 01:11:41,880 Come here. 1038 01:11:43,960 --> 01:11:45,400 Come here! 1039 01:11:50,960 --> 01:11:52,520 [stamps feet] 1040 01:11:52,560 --> 01:11:55,320 How dare you speak to me like that? 1041 01:11:55,360 --> 01:11:59,000 You only declared yourself Kommandant. We haven'’t elected you. 1042 01:11:59,040 --> 01:12:01,080 Elected? Of course you haven'’t. 1043 01:12:02,080 --> 01:12:04,640 This isn'’t democratic now. We'’re Germans. 1044 01:12:04,680 --> 01:12:08,320 And it'’s turning you nasty. And you'’re bad enough when you'’re British. 1045 01:12:08,360 --> 01:12:10,320 [Forrester] Shut up. 1046 01:12:11,960 --> 01:12:13,480 What do you want, hmm? 1047 01:12:14,920 --> 01:12:15,960 Anarchy? 1048 01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:19,320 Do you want to be found out? 1049 01:12:19,360 --> 01:12:25,600 What do you imagine the SS would do to prisoners of war masquerading as Jerries, huh? 1050 01:12:26,440 --> 01:12:30,200 You can just stick to teaching German, 1051 01:12:30,240 --> 01:12:35,480 and, incidentally, you can cut out all that Welsh propaganda too. 1052 01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:41,280 If I hear one more man singing "Cardiff, Cardiff, uüber alles," 1053 01:12:41,320 --> 01:12:45,000 I will have your guts for garters, you short-arsed Welsh shit. 1054 01:12:46,600 --> 01:12:48,600 You all asked to stay here. 1055 01:12:49,760 --> 01:12:50,800 I didn'’t. 1056 01:12:52,280 --> 01:12:58,360 Well, now you'’ve made your bed and you can eat sauerkraut on it. 1057 01:13:00,360 --> 01:13:04,240 You will be nasty at all times, 1058 01:13:04,280 --> 01:13:07,560 and you will look as if you are enjoying it. 1059 01:13:07,600 --> 01:13:10,160 Is that understood? 1060 01:13:10,200 --> 01:13:11,640 I will enjoy it. 1061 01:13:11,680 --> 01:13:14,320 A master race was a brilliant idea. 1062 01:13:14,360 --> 01:13:16,280 I only wish we'’d thought of it first. 1063 01:13:29,800 --> 01:13:34,120 Excuse me. This soup really is absolutely disgusting. 1064 01:13:36,160 --> 01:13:38,480 One week in the cooler. March him away. 1065 01:13:40,200 --> 01:13:41,640 [in German] 1066 01:13:47,440 --> 01:13:49,320 Uh, look, I, uh... 1067 01:13:50,120 --> 01:13:51,920 [sighs] ...have no alternative. 1068 01:13:51,960 --> 01:13:54,720 I have my orders. Please don'’t tell your father. 1069 01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:01,480 Meade?[Meade] Here. 1070 01:14:02,440 --> 01:14:04,000 Meaker?[Meaker] Here. 1071 01:14:06,920 --> 01:14:08,000 Morrison? 1072 01:14:10,480 --> 01:14:11,520 Morrison? 1073 01:14:13,480 --> 01:14:14,520 [sighs] 1074 01:14:19,240 --> 01:14:20,840 Say "here," please, Morrison. 1075 01:14:20,880 --> 01:14:23,560 No, this is bloody stupid. We'’re all on the same side. 1076 01:14:23,600 --> 01:14:27,360 Do you realize that if the SS rumble what'’s happening, we'’ll all be shot? 1077 01:14:28,840 --> 01:14:30,440 One word is all I ask. 1078 01:14:30,480 --> 01:14:33,600 No, the SS aren'’t here now, so it'’s bloody stupid. 1079 01:14:34,280 --> 01:14:36,320 You of all people. 1080 01:14:36,360 --> 01:14:39,280 Oh, yes, a New Zealander leading a rebellion. What a turn-up. 1081 01:14:39,320 --> 01:14:41,560 Two weeks in the cooler. March him away. 1082 01:14:41,600 --> 01:14:43,440 [grunts] 1083 01:14:43,480 --> 01:14:44,720 Yes, you, uh-- 1084 01:14:45,840 --> 01:14:48,040 You don'’t have to enjoy it quite so much, Barton. 1085 01:14:48,080 --> 01:14:50,040 No! Leave him alone. 1086 01:14:50,960 --> 01:14:54,160 Chump, my men have loaded rifles. 1087 01:14:54,200 --> 01:14:55,960 You wouldn'’t order them to shoot me. 1088 01:14:57,040 --> 01:14:58,480 I might have no alternative. 1089 01:15:02,560 --> 01:15:03,640 They wouldn'’t. 1090 01:15:04,680 --> 01:15:06,880 If they realized that you were seriously threatening 1091 01:15:06,920 --> 01:15:09,520 the stability of the situation, they might have no alternative. 1092 01:15:13,720 --> 01:15:15,080 My God. 1093 01:15:18,360 --> 01:15:19,400 [in German] 1094 01:16:07,240 --> 01:16:08,360 [in German] 1095 01:16:30,600 --> 01:16:33,080 [fly buzzing] 1096 01:16:34,040 --> 01:16:35,120 [in German] 1097 01:16:53,000 --> 01:16:54,920 [sobs] 1098 01:17:12,160 --> 01:17:14,160 [in German] 1099 01:17:14,720 --> 01:17:15,920 Heil Hitler! 1100 01:17:20,760 --> 01:17:21,800 [sighs] 1101 01:17:28,560 --> 01:17:30,920 Better than the cooler, eh?I'’ll say. 1102 01:17:31,920 --> 01:17:33,480 Makes you appreciate all this, you know? 1103 01:17:34,840 --> 01:17:37,240 There is a meeting of the escape committee in half an hour. 1104 01:17:37,280 --> 01:17:39,160 We'’d like to co-opt you onto it. 1105 01:17:39,200 --> 01:17:40,200 Me? 1106 01:17:40,840 --> 01:17:41,840 There are vacancies. 1107 01:17:42,640 --> 01:17:44,400 Shorty and Big F have left. 1108 01:17:44,440 --> 01:17:45,440 [Einstein] Resigned? 1109 01:17:46,160 --> 01:17:47,960 Not exactly. [sighs] 1110 01:17:48,000 --> 01:17:50,880 No, we haven'’t told them about the meeting. It'’s a secret. 1111 01:17:50,920 --> 01:17:53,320 Uh-oh. But why me? 1112 01:17:53,360 --> 01:17:55,120 We'’d value your advice. 1113 01:17:59,440 --> 01:18:03,760 Well, I'’ve called this meeting because things in this camp are getting absolutely unbearable. 1114 01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:05,720 And I think there is only one thing for it. 1115 01:18:06,680 --> 01:18:07,720 What'’s that? 1116 01:18:09,760 --> 01:18:11,120 We'’re gonna have to escape. 1117 01:18:20,520 --> 01:18:22,560 Let me get this right. 1118 01:18:22,600 --> 01:18:25,240 You'’re suggesting we escape from our fellow prisoners? 1119 01:18:26,400 --> 01:18:27,440 That'’s right. 1120 01:18:28,040 --> 01:18:29,680 Without telling them? 1121 01:18:29,720 --> 01:18:33,160 Do you entirely trust them? Do you trust Big F? 1122 01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:36,200 He'’s hardly in a position to report us to the SS. 1123 01:18:36,240 --> 01:18:37,960 It would be more fun not telling them. 1124 01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:39,840 Owly'’s right. 1125 01:18:39,880 --> 01:18:42,080 My only regret will be we can'’t stay to see the bastard'’s face 1126 01:18:42,120 --> 01:18:44,040 when he finds out we'’re gone. 1127 01:18:44,080 --> 01:18:47,080 [stutters] Aren'’t we condemning all the guards to a dreadful fate? 1128 01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:49,160 What will happen to them when we'’ve escaped already? 1129 01:18:49,200 --> 01:18:50,840 N-Nothing. 1130 01:18:50,880 --> 01:18:52,880 When they'’ve found out we'’ve scarpered 1131 01:18:52,920 --> 01:18:55,040 and they know they can'’t report us to anybody, they'’ll come too. 1132 01:18:56,640 --> 01:18:59,280 If they haven'’t that much sense, they don'’t deserve to escape. 1133 01:18:59,320 --> 01:19:00,800 Prof'’s right, as usual. 1134 01:19:01,480 --> 01:19:03,560 So, how do we escape? 1135 01:19:05,160 --> 01:19:06,520 Dig tunnels.But-- 1136 01:19:07,600 --> 01:19:08,840 Well, maybe I'’m being stupid, 1137 01:19:08,880 --> 01:19:10,440 but don'’t we already have tunnels? 1138 01:19:10,480 --> 01:19:12,120 Yes, but Big F knows where they are. 1139 01:19:12,160 --> 01:19:14,080 Look-- Well, no. 1140 01:19:14,880 --> 01:19:16,200 [Chump] No. Go on, Einstein. 1141 01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:18,600 Well, because you'’re all clever, 1142 01:19:18,640 --> 01:19:21,360 I think you think Big F is cleverer than he is. 1143 01:19:21,400 --> 01:19:23,800 But I don'’t think any of them would ever be clever enough 1144 01:19:23,840 --> 01:19:27,040 to think that we'’d even think of escaping from our allies. 1145 01:19:27,080 --> 01:19:30,080 So I think we should save time and use the tunnels we'’ve got. 1146 01:19:32,560 --> 01:19:33,960 I think Einstein'’s right. 1147 01:19:35,320 --> 01:19:38,200 So, do we use all five tunnels, 1148 01:19:38,240 --> 01:19:40,640 or the two that are only blocked, or just the one? 1149 01:19:40,680 --> 01:19:43,480 Just the one. It would be quicker to get ready and easier to go out. 1150 01:19:43,520 --> 01:19:45,800 All those in agreement?Yep. 1151 01:19:45,840 --> 01:19:49,160 Right. First thing tomorrow morning, we unblock Owly. 1152 01:19:51,800 --> 01:19:53,640 Owly? 1153 01:19:53,680 --> 01:19:56,360 Yeah, well, I didn'’t really fancy calling it Julian any more. 1154 01:19:56,400 --> 01:19:58,600 And I thought I'’d name it after you cos-- 1155 01:19:58,640 --> 01:20:02,360 Well, I thought you were dead brave the way you stood up to Big F on that roll call. 1156 01:20:02,400 --> 01:20:04,720 Anyway, we know how much it would annoy him. [scoffs] 1157 01:20:05,400 --> 01:20:06,560 Well, I, uh-- 1158 01:20:07,880 --> 01:20:09,720 Well, that-- that'’s really, uh-- 1159 01:20:11,840 --> 01:20:15,480 Oh, hell, I can'’t have tears in my eyes. I'’m a New Zealander! 1160 01:20:15,520 --> 01:20:17,480 [sighs][clears throat] 1161 01:20:17,520 --> 01:20:21,000 Yeah, well-- [chuckles] You still got all those civilian uniforms, Izzy? 1162 01:20:21,040 --> 01:20:22,600 Sure I got them. 1163 01:20:22,640 --> 01:20:24,680 So why should I destroy them? 1164 01:20:24,720 --> 01:20:28,760 So when did Izzy Levinson ever destroy good material? So, you tell me. 1165 01:20:28,800 --> 01:20:31,080 Yeah, right. Okay. No offence. 1166 01:20:31,640 --> 01:20:35,680 Now, we'’re gonna need somebody to replace Shorty on documents.I'’ll do it. 1167 01:20:35,720 --> 01:20:40,840 You? Well, sorry to doubt you, but what qualifications have you got? 1168 01:20:40,880 --> 01:20:42,440 Well, why do you think I wear glasses? 1169 01:20:43,240 --> 01:20:44,800 From poring over documents. 1170 01:20:44,840 --> 01:20:46,200 What were you, a clerk? 1171 01:20:46,960 --> 01:20:49,560 No, a forger. 1172 01:20:49,600 --> 01:20:51,280 A forger? 1173 01:20:51,320 --> 01:20:53,320 Do you think New Zealand'’s too dull to have criminals? 1174 01:20:53,360 --> 01:20:56,480 I'’m a forger. Forged my way into the Royal Air Force. 1175 01:20:56,520 --> 01:20:58,360 Well, that'’s good enough for me. 1176 01:20:59,720 --> 01:21:00,880 [soldiers speaking German] 1177 01:21:19,640 --> 01:21:20,680 SS. 1178 01:21:23,920 --> 01:21:25,840 [grunting] 1179 01:21:25,880 --> 01:21:26,920 SS. 1180 01:21:34,920 --> 01:21:37,880 [in German] 1181 01:21:48,480 --> 01:21:52,520 Apparently, Mitchell based the design on a seagull. 1182 01:22:02,520 --> 01:22:04,080 [in German] 1183 01:22:04,120 --> 01:22:05,160 [clears throat] 1184 01:22:34,920 --> 01:22:36,680 [speaks German] 1185 01:22:43,920 --> 01:22:46,160 He thinks you might be trying to escape. 1186 01:22:46,200 --> 01:22:49,200 [laughs] Little does he know, eh?[chuckles] 1187 01:22:50,560 --> 01:22:52,600 [Steffenberg, in German] 1188 01:22:53,080 --> 01:22:54,120 [Forrester, in German] 1189 01:23:34,480 --> 01:23:36,520 Right. Owly'’s unblocked. 1190 01:23:37,600 --> 01:23:38,640 So when do we go? 1191 01:23:39,560 --> 01:23:41,760 Einstein, any ideas on the weather? 1192 01:23:41,800 --> 01:23:43,960 It will be overcast a couple of days yet. 1193 01:23:44,880 --> 01:23:46,560 We could go tomorrow then. 1194 01:23:46,600 --> 01:23:49,720 I agree. If we delay, the war could be over before we escape. 1195 01:23:49,760 --> 01:23:52,240 So, if the war'’s ending already, why don'’t we just wait? 1196 01:23:52,280 --> 01:23:54,280 It was meant to be over before the first Christmas. 1197 01:23:54,320 --> 01:23:56,400 I won'’t believe it's over till it'’s over.Yeah. 1198 01:23:56,440 --> 01:23:59,520 We'’ve got to escape. Big F will hate it.[Prof snorts] 1199 01:24:01,280 --> 01:24:02,640 Who agrees we go tomorrow? 1200 01:24:08,520 --> 01:24:09,560 Chump. 1201 01:24:10,920 --> 01:24:12,760 Do we have anything to say to each other? 1202 01:24:13,440 --> 01:24:15,680 Well, I-I hope so, Chump. 1203 01:24:15,720 --> 01:24:19,680 Um, as a matter of fact, I'’m-- I'm rather churned up at the moment. 1204 01:24:19,720 --> 01:24:22,480 Oh, churned up, Big F. Why? 1205 01:24:22,520 --> 01:24:26,000 Well, it'’s the big day tomorrow, and it puts me in rather an odd position. 1206 01:24:27,840 --> 01:24:29,200 You mean you know? 1207 01:24:29,240 --> 01:24:31,600 Of course I know. I didn'’t know you knew. 1208 01:24:32,760 --> 01:24:34,680 Now wait a minute. You didn'’t know I knew what? 1209 01:24:34,720 --> 01:24:35,880 About my trip to Berlin. 1210 01:24:36,640 --> 01:24:38,120 Berlin? Whatever for? 1211 01:24:38,160 --> 01:24:40,840 To see the fuehrer. He is giving me the Iron Cross. 1212 01:24:40,880 --> 01:24:43,160 The Iron Cro-- Why? 1213 01:24:43,200 --> 01:24:46,600 Because nobody has escaped from this camp since I came here. 1214 01:24:46,640 --> 01:24:48,680 [laughs] 1215 01:24:49,760 --> 01:24:51,160 Do you find it funny? 1216 01:24:51,200 --> 01:24:53,120 Well, I mean, it'’s a bit ironical. 1217 01:24:53,960 --> 01:24:55,960 Ironical? 1218 01:24:56,000 --> 01:24:59,520 Well, a British officer receiving Germany'’s top military medal, Big F? 1219 01:24:59,560 --> 01:25:00,960 [scoffs] 1220 01:25:01,000 --> 01:25:03,320 Oh, yes, yes. I can see that it'’s ironical. 1221 01:25:03,360 --> 01:25:07,160 I'’m just surprised that you can, Big C, that'’s all. 1222 01:25:10,000 --> 01:25:11,880 I didn'’t tell him what'’s really ironical 1223 01:25:11,920 --> 01:25:13,920 is that just as he'’s getting the Iron Cross 1224 01:25:13,960 --> 01:25:16,000 because nobody'’s escaped from his camp, 1225 01:25:16,040 --> 01:25:18,400 we'’ll all be escaping from his camp. [chuckles] 1226 01:25:18,440 --> 01:25:23,240 [speaking German] 1227 01:25:26,680 --> 01:25:28,200 [Forrester speaks German] 1228 01:25:32,760 --> 01:25:33,800 [Smithers] Heil Hitler! 1229 01:25:59,800 --> 01:26:01,120 What are you doing with him? 1230 01:26:02,160 --> 01:26:03,720 You'’ve heard of carrier pigeons. 1231 01:26:04,520 --> 01:26:06,360 Carrier parrots are one better. 1232 01:26:08,120 --> 01:26:09,400 He'’s a carrier parrot? 1233 01:26:10,400 --> 01:26:11,880 Well, where'’s his message? 1234 01:26:11,920 --> 01:26:14,680 In his head. That'’s why they'’re one better. 1235 01:26:16,400 --> 01:26:18,120 [Einstein] Who'’s a pretty Allied polly then? 1236 01:26:19,160 --> 01:26:21,080 [parrot] Fellas escaping from Stalag Luft. 1237 01:26:21,120 --> 01:26:22,600 Help, help! 1238 01:26:23,920 --> 01:26:25,360 I have a way with birds. 1239 01:26:26,000 --> 01:26:27,040 You'’re a marvel. 1240 01:26:28,080 --> 01:26:29,840 But what happens if he flies to the Germans? 1241 01:26:29,880 --> 01:26:32,040 Oh, he won'’t. Have faith. 1242 01:26:41,360 --> 01:26:42,640 [in German] 1243 01:26:54,600 --> 01:26:56,160 What'’s German for cocoa? 1244 01:26:57,480 --> 01:26:58,520 Cocoa. 1245 01:27:06,600 --> 01:27:09,800 Owly, open your namesake. 1246 01:27:10,600 --> 01:27:11,640 Right. 1247 01:27:13,440 --> 01:27:14,600 [sobs] 1248 01:27:15,360 --> 01:27:18,400 Oh, hell. Sorry. [grunts] 1249 01:27:26,000 --> 01:27:28,440 [wheels squeaking] 1250 01:27:48,240 --> 01:27:49,400 It'’s okay, chaps. 1251 01:28:03,120 --> 01:28:06,720 [opera plays on phonograph] 1252 01:28:37,880 --> 01:28:39,600 [opera continues] 1253 01:28:39,640 --> 01:28:40,760 [in German] 1254 01:28:43,360 --> 01:28:44,480 [groans] 1255 01:28:47,680 --> 01:28:48,760 [knocking] 1256 01:28:52,280 --> 01:28:53,400 [moans] 1257 01:29:17,040 --> 01:29:18,080 [opera stops] 1258 01:29:32,680 --> 01:29:33,720 [explosion in distance] 1259 01:29:44,160 --> 01:29:45,200 [exclaims] 1260 01:29:50,400 --> 01:29:51,440 [grunts] 1261 01:30:21,720 --> 01:30:23,160 [explosion in distance] 1262 01:30:33,480 --> 01:30:34,920 [chandelier rattling] 1263 01:30:37,520 --> 01:30:38,640 [glass breaks] 1264 01:30:58,120 --> 01:30:59,840 [items shattering] 1265 01:31:13,440 --> 01:31:17,320 [explosions continue] 1266 01:31:41,040 --> 01:31:43,880 Halt! Who goes there? 1267 01:31:43,920 --> 01:31:46,240 Don'’t shoot. We're English. 1268 01:31:46,280 --> 01:31:47,800 [tank officer] English? 1269 01:31:47,840 --> 01:31:49,640 We'’re in the process of escaping from this camp. 1270 01:31:49,680 --> 01:31:51,240 Good Lord. 1271 01:31:51,280 --> 01:31:53,640 [chuckles] Congratulations. 1272 01:31:53,680 --> 01:31:58,320 Except-- Well, I-I could have saved you the trouble. I'’m about to capture it. 1273 01:31:58,360 --> 01:32:01,120 Well, don'’t worry. We wouldn't have missed it for the world. 1274 01:32:02,560 --> 01:32:03,640 It'’s been fun. 1275 01:32:03,680 --> 01:32:05,080 Well done. 1276 01:32:05,120 --> 01:32:07,120 This may sound a silly question, 1277 01:32:07,160 --> 01:32:09,600 but did a parrot tell you to come here? 1278 01:32:09,640 --> 01:32:13,000 Good Lord! Your parrot did arrive in our midst. 1279 01:32:13,040 --> 01:32:14,480 Hurrah. 1280 01:32:14,520 --> 01:32:15,680 [tank officer] Well, no. 1281 01:32:15,720 --> 01:32:17,920 No, not terribly hurrah, actually. 1282 01:32:17,960 --> 01:32:22,840 There wasn'’t any message. All it said was, "Heil Hitler." 1283 01:32:22,880 --> 01:32:24,000 [Einstein] Oh, no. 1284 01:32:24,040 --> 01:32:25,720 I'’m afraid we strangled it. 1285 01:32:25,760 --> 01:32:27,480 Oh, you didn'’t! 1286 01:32:27,520 --> 01:32:30,200 War teaches you to hate. 1287 01:32:32,720 --> 01:32:34,120 Oh, is this man English too? 1288 01:32:34,160 --> 01:32:37,520 [grunts] No. I'’m a New Zealander. 1289 01:32:37,560 --> 01:32:39,880 Ah, bad luck. 1290 01:32:39,920 --> 01:32:41,560 Oh, no, not you as well. 1291 01:32:41,600 --> 01:32:43,520 Right, men, we'’re going in. 1292 01:32:44,440 --> 01:32:46,080 Driver, advance. 1293 01:32:46,640 --> 01:32:47,600 Attack! 1294 01:32:48,120 --> 01:32:49,240 Tally-ho! 1295 01:32:52,560 --> 01:32:54,000 [in German] 1296 01:32:58,520 --> 01:32:59,560 Mmm. 1297 01:33:01,320 --> 01:33:02,880 [explosion] 1298 01:33:04,440 --> 01:33:05,480 Oh. 1299 01:33:09,360 --> 01:33:10,400 [gasps, grunts] 1300 01:33:29,320 --> 01:33:30,360 Ah. 1301 01:33:31,600 --> 01:33:32,680 Uh... 1302 01:33:59,520 --> 01:34:01,840 [grunts, groans] 1303 01:34:06,880 --> 01:34:08,280 [Chump] Don'’t shoot! 1304 01:34:10,720 --> 01:34:12,360 [tank officer] Hands up! 1305 01:34:12,400 --> 01:34:14,320 Resistance is useless! 1306 01:34:14,360 --> 01:34:16,320 We have you surrounded! 1307 01:34:16,360 --> 01:34:18,000 [Chump] Don'’t shoot! 1308 01:34:18,040 --> 01:34:20,680 [Prof] There aren'’t any Germans in the camp at all. 1309 01:34:20,720 --> 01:34:23,280 No Germans? Pull the other one! 1310 01:34:23,840 --> 01:34:25,480 Forward, driver. 1311 01:34:25,520 --> 01:34:28,200 [Shorty] No, no, no! We'’re British! We're British! 1312 01:34:28,240 --> 01:34:32,080 [Barton] Oh, hurrah! We'’re being rescued! Hurrah! Hello, chaps! 1313 01:34:32,120 --> 01:34:33,480 Don'’t shoot! I am Welsh! 1314 01:34:33,520 --> 01:34:35,600 Peter Piker picked a peck of pickled peppers. 1315 01:34:35,640 --> 01:34:38,240 Where'’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piker picked? 1316 01:34:38,280 --> 01:34:40,480 [Shorty sings in Welsh] 1317 01:34:40,520 --> 01:34:45,680 ♪ Land of hope and glory♪ 1318 01:34:45,720 --> 01:34:48,320 Good Lord. Hold your fire, men! 1319 01:34:50,440 --> 01:34:51,600 It'’s incredible! 1320 01:34:53,200 --> 01:34:55,200 So where are the Germans? 1321 01:35:00,560 --> 01:35:01,800 It'’s a long story. 1322 01:35:13,240 --> 01:35:14,320 [in German] 1323 01:35:19,160 --> 01:35:20,240 Heinrich? 1324 01:35:21,760 --> 01:35:24,040 F. [stutters] 1325 01:35:24,720 --> 01:35:26,320 What brings you to Berlin? 1326 01:35:27,440 --> 01:35:29,040 You'’ll laugh. [laughs] 1327 01:35:29,080 --> 01:35:30,920 I'’m not sure I remember how to. 1328 01:35:32,120 --> 01:35:35,320 Hitler has given me the Iron Cross 1329 01:35:35,360 --> 01:35:37,240 because nobody'’s escaped from the camp. 1330 01:35:38,120 --> 01:35:41,120 [laughs, coughs] 1331 01:35:42,240 --> 01:35:44,400 Don'’t make me laugh. My chest hurts. 1332 01:35:44,440 --> 01:35:45,720 [laughs] 1333 01:35:45,760 --> 01:35:47,360 What-- What'’s happened to you? 1334 01:35:47,400 --> 01:35:49,280 I thought you were going to escape easily. 1335 01:35:50,000 --> 01:35:51,360 Stupid accident. 1336 01:35:51,400 --> 01:35:53,320 I had all my papers stolen. 1337 01:36:00,720 --> 01:36:02,480 I couldn'’t go to the authorities. 1338 01:36:02,520 --> 01:36:04,720 A Kommandantwho had escaped from his own camp. 1339 01:36:06,960 --> 01:36:08,920 I have lived with the rats. 1340 01:36:08,960 --> 01:36:11,440 I have breakfasted in the sewers. I-- 1341 01:36:11,480 --> 01:36:13,520 [siren wailing] 1342 01:36:16,040 --> 01:36:18,080 You ruined my war. 1343 01:36:19,040 --> 01:36:21,840 Sorry. If it'’s any consolation, 1344 01:36:21,880 --> 01:36:24,560 I feel as if I haven'’t had a good war either. 1345 01:36:25,720 --> 01:36:26,960 How'’s my parrot? 1346 01:36:27,000 --> 01:36:29,280 Oh, thriving. He'’s had a good war. 1347 01:36:30,280 --> 01:36:31,760 I'’d like to see him again. 1348 01:36:32,400 --> 01:36:35,200 Tell me, how-- how do you survive? 1349 01:36:36,640 --> 01:36:38,680 By being terrified of dying. 1350 01:36:40,520 --> 01:36:43,280 I am so sorry. You'’re a good man. 1351 01:36:43,320 --> 01:36:45,000 Oh, please, don'’t. 1352 01:36:45,040 --> 01:36:46,600 Terrible things happen to good men. 1353 01:36:47,640 --> 01:36:50,160 You'’ve become a cynic.Are you surprised? 1354 01:36:51,120 --> 01:36:54,000 Look, how would you like my Iron Cross? 1355 01:36:54,960 --> 01:36:56,040 What'’s it worth? 1356 01:36:57,040 --> 01:36:58,120 The honour. 1357 01:37:00,200 --> 01:37:01,320 No, thank you. 1358 01:37:03,400 --> 01:37:06,560 Well, I'’d, uh-- I'd better go. I'’ve got your camp to run. 1359 01:37:07,600 --> 01:37:11,560 [scoffs] The irony is, I run a harsher regime than you ever did. 1360 01:37:14,440 --> 01:37:15,680 Goodbye, Heinrich. 1361 01:37:15,720 --> 01:37:16,800 Goodbye, F. 1362 01:37:18,440 --> 01:37:19,480 F. 1363 01:37:21,960 --> 01:37:23,000 I will. 1364 01:37:23,960 --> 01:37:25,400 [Forrester] Will what? 1365 01:37:25,440 --> 01:37:28,760 If I'’m ever in the vicinity of Weybridge, no? 1366 01:37:36,120 --> 01:37:38,160 [cheering] 1367 01:37:42,720 --> 01:37:44,360 [prisoners whistling] 1368 01:38:07,800 --> 01:38:08,960 [speaks German] 1369 01:38:09,720 --> 01:38:10,800 Hello, chaps. 1370 01:38:11,440 --> 01:38:13,040 Is this man British too? 1371 01:38:14,720 --> 01:38:17,560 No, he'’s the German Kommandant. 1372 01:38:19,200 --> 01:38:22,960 Chump? [chuckles] 1373 01:38:23,000 --> 01:38:24,080 Chump? 1374 01:38:26,600 --> 01:38:27,640 Chump. 1375 01:38:28,440 --> 01:38:30,120 Einstein, Prof. 1376 01:38:30,920 --> 01:38:34,680 Uh, Shorty, Izzy, Owly. 1377 01:38:34,720 --> 01:38:36,360 Speak up for a chap. 1378 01:38:36,400 --> 01:38:39,560 You can see he'’s German. He'’s got the Iron Cross. 1379 01:38:39,600 --> 01:38:43,280 [chuckles] No, no, chaps, play fair. 1380 01:38:43,320 --> 01:38:45,320 Come clean. This-- 1381 01:38:46,120 --> 01:38:48,200 This just isn'’t cricket! 1382 01:38:48,240 --> 01:38:52,200 Einstein, you'’re a Price Egerton. Think of your father. 1383 01:38:53,080 --> 01:38:54,920 My father'’s a cruel sod. 1384 01:38:57,120 --> 01:39:00,160 Good effort, but rather overdone. 1385 01:39:02,320 --> 01:39:05,400 I am always cautious about racial stereotypes. 1386 01:39:06,960 --> 01:39:08,480 I'’ve never liked him. 1387 01:39:08,520 --> 01:39:10,200 Nothing personal, but there won'’t be much room 1388 01:39:10,240 --> 01:39:12,840 for people like him in the new classless post-war Britain. 1389 01:39:14,000 --> 01:39:18,440 [chuckles] Look, Shorty, my old Welsh friend, hmm? 1390 01:39:18,480 --> 01:39:23,200 [stutters] Owly, my old Kiwi mucker, eh? 1391 01:39:23,240 --> 01:39:26,000 [sighs] Izzy, Izzy, I could help you. 1392 01:39:26,040 --> 01:39:28,800 I know a committee member of the Finchley Golf Club. 1393 01:39:33,640 --> 01:39:36,200 [grunts] Chaps. 1394 01:39:36,240 --> 01:39:37,800 Chaps! 1395 01:39:37,840 --> 01:39:40,960 There'’s one foolproof way to find out. Never fails. 1396 01:39:42,200 --> 01:39:44,600 Look, look, there'’s been a terrible misunder-- [grunts] 1397 01:39:44,640 --> 01:39:47,280 [shouting in German] 1398 01:39:47,320 --> 01:39:48,880 Sergeant! 1399 01:39:48,920 --> 01:39:51,960 [continues shouting in German] 1400 01:40:02,960 --> 01:40:06,000 [Forrester continues shouting in German]