1
00:02:24,854 --> 00:02:26,230
Heldur,
2
00:02:29,901 --> 00:02:32,195
I received your letter.
3
00:02:35,198 --> 00:02:37,116
I'm in our homeland.
4
00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:45,124
As the summer began
5
00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:48,961
it seemed like the best one ever.
6
00:03:02,517 --> 00:03:06,187
Our wild apple tree
that grew in the middle of the field
7
00:03:08,398 --> 00:03:11,359
was covered with a white carpet,
8
00:03:14,904 --> 00:03:19,951
as if to hide its few leaves
with blossoms.
9
00:03:26,833 --> 00:03:33,005
That ever so delicate
smell of the blossoms
10
00:03:39,846 --> 00:03:42,557
is in my nostrils to this day.
11
00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:13,421
These delicious morning smells...
12
00:04:22,597 --> 00:04:26,058
The voices of you
and our little Eliide...
13
00:04:32,899 --> 00:04:35,067
Those haven't changed.
14
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:48,242
I see in my mind's eye
how you looked at me.
15
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:59,170
How you gently stroked my cheek
with your hand
16
00:07:01,631 --> 00:07:04,383
and tied a ribbon around my waist.
17
00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:14,518
I can still hear your words,
18
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:20,983
that this will keep us together forever.
19
00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:25,571
That you will keep us.
20
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,412
Under your protective wing.
21
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:40,336
That we are free.
22
00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:58,938
But what is freedom worth, Heldur?
23
00:19:09,775 --> 00:19:11,151
Heldur,
24
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,699
I hope my letter finds you.
25
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,455
Eliide is weak from the heat here
26
00:19:23,622 --> 00:19:25,749
but otherwise we're doing well.
27
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,921
There are wives
of other Defence League men here.
28
00:19:31,088 --> 00:19:33,048
We're sticking together.
29
00:19:39,805 --> 00:19:43,100
When we crossed Estonia's border,
the Church bell rang,
30
00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:44,768
did you hear it?
31
00:19:45,143 --> 00:19:46,895
It was for a funeral.
32
00:19:48,105 --> 00:19:53,193
I wondered if somebody really was
on their last journey just then
33
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:56,488
or they rung those bells for us.
34
00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:04,246
Then someone in the cattle car took up
the song Estonia, Your Manly Courage.
35
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:09,376
Then everyone in the other
cattle cars joined in.
36
00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:13,463
Heldur, that was...
37
00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:18,719
the most powerful chorus.
38
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:22,806
Straight from the heart...
39
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:37,654
In that dark cattle car,
the women on the top bunks are our eyes.
40
00:20:39,114 --> 00:20:40,949
Those narrow windows
41
00:20:41,116 --> 00:20:45,328
are like a frame
that transforms our homeland
42
00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:48,290
receding into a painting
that is beyond our reach.
43
00:20:50,542 --> 00:20:54,087
Many of us think
this is all one big mistake.
44
00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:58,091
One woman, Hermiine,
45
00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:01,762
overheard Russian guards
saying that war had broken out.
46
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:06,349
If that's true,
we'll be back home soon...
47
00:21:11,646 --> 00:21:15,442
That same woman, Hermiine,
shared her bread with us,
48
00:21:15,609 --> 00:21:19,070
as ours remained in your luggage.
49
00:21:37,047 --> 00:21:38,924
I can not comprehend,
50
00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:41,593
what evil have we
51
00:21:42,511 --> 00:21:44,262
simple people
52
00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:47,140
done to enormous Russia?
53
00:21:51,394 --> 00:21:55,398
One regime can't rob thousands
54
00:21:56,525 --> 00:21:58,610
of all they believe in
55
00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:01,196
and love.
56
00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:19,376
Heldur,
57
00:24:20,210 --> 00:24:23,546
I sent you a letter through the gap
in the window of our cattle car.
58
00:24:23,713 --> 00:24:27,300
And then we got word that
the cattle cars were uncoupled...
59
00:24:27,634 --> 00:24:30,345
That you went in another direction...
60
00:24:33,264 --> 00:24:36,267
Surely, you are already
trying to find your way to us.
61
00:24:41,982 --> 00:24:43,900
Today is July 9th.
62
00:24:44,567 --> 00:24:49,197
We were in the cattle cars for 26 days
63
00:24:49,364 --> 00:24:53,243
and nobody could get undressed
or wash themselves the whole time.
64
00:24:56,287 --> 00:24:59,457
Those weeks on rails
robbed Eliide of her health.
65
00:24:59,624 --> 00:25:02,168
She came down with dysentery.
66
00:25:02,919 --> 00:25:06,131
She's weak, keeps asking for you.
67
00:25:09,759 --> 00:25:13,596
I traded your trousers
for milk in a village.
68
00:25:13,972 --> 00:25:16,850
We'll get you new ones
when we get home.
69
00:25:19,185 --> 00:25:23,064
We travelled by river
for another 4 days and nights.
70
00:25:24,190 --> 00:25:28,987
And then about another 60 km northwards
by foot convoyed by armed guards.
71
00:25:32,991 --> 00:25:35,535
With Hermiine,
72
00:25:35,702 --> 00:25:39,998
we've been housed 3 km away
from the village, in a solitary mud hut.
73
00:25:40,165 --> 00:25:42,709
As punishment.
That's what they said.
74
00:25:42,876 --> 00:25:44,377
We intervened
75
00:25:44,544 --> 00:25:48,214
when the chairman of the local kolkhoz
beat a boy from Tartu.
76
00:25:48,381 --> 00:25:50,842
We're in their bad books now.
77
00:25:55,263 --> 00:25:58,391
In the evening,
they held some sort of a meeting.
78
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:02,228
We were lectured
on what we can and can't do.
79
00:26:02,771 --> 00:26:06,149
Tomorrow we'll be assigned to work.
80
00:26:06,858 --> 00:26:09,944
Whoever doesn't work
won't be given any bread.
81
00:26:17,744 --> 00:26:21,289
Of the 51 women and children
in our cattle car,
82
00:26:21,498 --> 00:26:24,793
42 made it here...
83
00:26:29,923 --> 00:26:31,508
Last night,
84
00:26:31,966 --> 00:26:35,178
one woman took her own life...
85
00:26:37,013 --> 00:26:39,724
her own and her child's.
86
00:26:45,897 --> 00:26:49,692
Is death really easier
than what awaits us?
87
00:27:31,401 --> 00:27:32,694
Heldur,
88
00:27:36,239 --> 00:27:38,825
time has taken on another dimension.
89
00:27:42,537 --> 00:27:44,747
The temporary has passed.
90
00:27:49,043 --> 00:27:53,423
We measure time
by the news that reaches us.
91
00:27:55,425 --> 00:27:58,887
That way the days and weeks
seem shorter.
92
00:28:09,522 --> 00:28:11,816
Eliide is feeble.
93
00:28:14,861 --> 00:28:19,365
She hasn't been able
to get out of bed for over a month.
94
00:28:21,618 --> 00:28:24,537
Her legs are swollen from starvation.
95
00:28:28,458 --> 00:28:32,128
We get 200 g of bread,
about a handful,
96
00:28:32,545 --> 00:28:34,422
for doing lumberjack work.
97
00:28:35,548 --> 00:28:37,383
That's our daily ration.
98
00:28:39,385 --> 00:28:41,721
Sometimes they give us flour.
99
00:28:42,597 --> 00:28:45,725
But only if we fulfil our work quota.
100
00:28:47,602 --> 00:28:50,480
There's no bread for children.
101
00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:58,696
Hermiine...
102
00:28:59,989 --> 00:29:02,909
showed me where the bread is kept.
103
00:29:26,057 --> 00:29:27,558
Heldur,
104
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,396
I asked Eliide a week ago
105
00:29:31,562 --> 00:29:35,066
what she would want as a present
for her birthday.
106
00:29:39,070 --> 00:29:42,031
Eliide replied. A loaf of bread.
107
00:29:42,991 --> 00:29:47,203
I asked her what she would want
if she had enough to eat.
108
00:29:48,037 --> 00:29:51,207
Heldur, she started crying
and still said
109
00:29:51,916 --> 00:29:53,418
a loaf of bread...
110
00:29:57,964 --> 00:30:02,593
Constant hunger doesn't let her
dream of anything other than food.
111
00:30:13,855 --> 00:30:18,443
We have to register at the village
militia station every two weeks.
112
00:30:19,444 --> 00:30:22,530
So they check to see
that we haven't run away.
113
00:30:24,032 --> 00:30:27,368
Some people who don't have children
have tried to escape.
114
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They've all been brought back
and punished.
115
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We're prisoners of nature...
116
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I wonder if there have ever been
any prisoners
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with so much space
that you long for boundaries.
118
00:32:56,934 --> 00:33:00,354
...breach of the military power
of the USSR,
119
00:33:00,771 --> 00:33:05,151
iys independence
or terriyorial inyegriyy
120
00:33:05,318 --> 00:33:09,614
by espionage beyraying,
miliyary or state secreys.
121
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Defecyion to yhe enemies
side, escaping abroad.
122
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Senyenced yo execuyion by shooying
,
123
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yogeyher wiyh the confiscayion
of yhe whole properyy
124
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or yhe deprivation of liberty
for 10 years
125
00:33:24,420 --> 00:33:28,341
yogeyher wiyh the confiscayion
of yhe whole properyy.
126
00:33:28,549 --> 00:33:30,426
Please forgive me, Heldur.
127
00:33:33,638 --> 00:33:38,017
The local chairman summoned me
to the kolkhoz office on Sunday.
128
00:33:45,566 --> 00:33:48,069
He put the slice of bread
on his table.
129
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The one I had stolen for Eliide.
130
00:33:56,285 --> 00:33:57,912
And some vodka...
131
00:34:03,084 --> 00:34:04,710
I had to choose...
132
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whether...
133
00:34:13,386 --> 00:34:18,057
to be taken further north
134
00:34:21,978 --> 00:34:23,187
or...
135
00:34:30,611 --> 00:34:33,322
to drink vodka with him, and...
136
00:34:48,337 --> 00:34:51,465
Heldur, it's like we're living
in darkness here.
137
00:34:58,598 --> 00:35:03,311
And lots of things are done differently
in the dark than in daylight.
138
00:43:01,580 --> 00:43:04,750
Tell me, Heldur, is there a word...
139
00:43:10,798 --> 00:43:13,926
A widow is a woman
who loses her husband.
140
00:43:17,054 --> 00:43:18,263
An orphan
141
00:43:19,098 --> 00:43:21,517
is a child who loses its parents.
142
00:43:26,563 --> 00:43:29,233
But who is a mother
143
00:43:30,526 --> 00:43:32,861
who loses her child?
144
00:43:42,037 --> 00:43:44,331
That feeling doesn't deserve a word.
145
00:43:54,925 --> 00:43:57,136
The weather is so gloomy.
146
00:43:59,012 --> 00:44:01,515
The clouds hide the sun...
147
00:44:06,728 --> 00:44:09,356
And I long to go for a walk.
148
00:44:20,033 --> 00:44:24,371
My steps always lead
to where the locals peel birch bark.
149
00:44:25,164 --> 00:44:29,084
So that the white trunks
have become black.
150
00:44:32,713 --> 00:44:36,466
How those sooty trees still grow...
151
00:44:39,303 --> 00:44:42,431
In that rich fertilised soil.
152
00:45:10,250 --> 00:45:14,004
Hermiine said I shouldn't go
to the woods alone any more.
153
00:45:17,174 --> 00:45:19,509
Where should one go
154
00:45:20,344 --> 00:45:22,888
after being robbed
155
00:45:24,431 --> 00:45:27,559
of everything they believe in and love?
156
00:47:49,618 --> 00:47:51,703
I'm left with Hermiine,
157
00:47:53,789 --> 00:47:55,832
and other Estonians.
158
00:47:57,667 --> 00:48:00,337
I'm left with you, Heldur.
159
00:48:03,965 --> 00:48:06,218
I often see you in my dreams.
160
00:48:09,388 --> 00:48:13,517
Sometimes I catch a glimpse of you
among the trees when I'm out logging.
161
00:48:14,851 --> 00:48:17,396
Sometimes in the gaze of strangers,
162
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:20,649
in the darkness of the room.
163
00:48:25,153 --> 00:48:30,158
This year when we secretly celebrated
Christmas Eve behind covered windows,
164
00:48:30,659 --> 00:48:34,621
an Estonian man
arrived in our village.
165
00:48:36,915 --> 00:48:39,334
That gave everyone new hope.
166
00:48:40,710 --> 00:48:42,379
Me as well.
167
00:48:47,801 --> 00:48:49,428
I promise, Heldur,
168
00:48:49,594 --> 00:48:52,139
that when I'm released,
169
00:48:52,305 --> 00:48:54,349
I will find you.
170
00:48:56,184 --> 00:48:58,562
Wherever you may be.
171
00:49:02,274 --> 00:49:05,026
Tell me, where are you?
172
00:49:11,992 --> 00:49:16,163
Each evening turns
everything around me
173
00:49:17,247 --> 00:49:20,333
to a dim, dull,
black and white picture.
174
00:49:23,003 --> 00:49:26,798
The sky also exchanges blue
for pitch black.
175
00:49:32,637 --> 00:49:35,432
And I journey home
176
00:49:37,184 --> 00:49:39,060
in my dreams.
177
00:49:53,658 --> 00:49:55,702
I had a dream at night.
178
00:49:57,787 --> 00:50:00,290
It was spring
and we were in our orchard.
179
00:50:02,083 --> 00:50:04,544
Pruning apple tree branches.
180
00:50:05,795 --> 00:50:09,591
You were up in a tree
and asked, this one,
181
00:50:09,758 --> 00:50:12,802
and pointed at it with the saw.
182
00:50:13,637 --> 00:50:17,098
But I pointed, no, that other one.
183
00:50:17,933 --> 00:50:20,727
You sat on a three-pronged branch
and laughed.
184
00:50:20,894 --> 00:50:22,604
At yourself and me.
185
00:50:23,230 --> 00:50:25,649
But then suddenly you were gone.
186
00:50:26,274 --> 00:50:30,529
I ran under the tree,
but you weren't there anymore.
187
00:50:31,530 --> 00:50:33,865
I called out,
and you called out in response.
188
00:50:34,032 --> 00:50:36,868
But from up in another tree.
189
00:50:37,536 --> 00:50:40,497
I ran to it but you weren't there.
190
00:50:41,373 --> 00:50:43,959
And then suddenly
it was already summer.
191
00:50:44,668 --> 00:50:48,171
And I still ran and called out
192
00:50:48,713 --> 00:50:52,384
but only the wind blew
and the leaves rustled.
193
00:50:52,551 --> 00:50:54,386
You weren't anywhere.
194
00:50:54,678 --> 00:50:57,847
I was spent and started crying.
195
00:50:58,014 --> 00:50:59,558
Your saw was on the ground.
196
00:50:59,724 --> 00:51:01,434
I wanted to pick it up
197
00:51:01,601 --> 00:51:05,522
but then you suddenly jumped out
from behind a tree
198
00:51:05,689 --> 00:51:08,191
and laughed, pushing me down.
199
00:51:08,733 --> 00:51:12,153
And I shouted
that you can't do that ever again,
200
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:14,197
you can't disappear.
201
00:51:14,364 --> 00:51:16,533
But you just laughed.
202
00:51:16,950 --> 00:51:19,077
And I told you to let go.
203
00:51:19,244 --> 00:51:21,788
But inside I didn't want you to.
204
00:51:23,623 --> 00:51:24,958
You started kissing me
205
00:51:25,125 --> 00:51:28,169
and you kissed all my tears away
206
00:51:31,006 --> 00:51:33,842
and I asked if they were salty,
207
00:51:34,009 --> 00:51:39,097
but you said they're sweet instead.
Like drops of apple juice.
208
00:51:41,516 --> 00:51:43,768
Your head lay on my breast
209
00:51:43,935 --> 00:51:47,939
and I promised myself
that I'd never let you go
210
00:51:48,857 --> 00:51:51,151
so that you wouldn't disappear again.
211
00:51:51,776 --> 00:51:54,738
But you untied my dress and...
212
00:51:57,365 --> 00:51:59,743
And then the apples were already ripe.
213
00:51:59,909 --> 00:52:02,078
We were lying on the ground
214
00:52:02,954 --> 00:52:05,123
with ripe apples all around.
215
00:52:06,249 --> 00:52:09,919
Suddenly a branch full of apples
snapped under its weight.
216
00:52:12,922 --> 00:52:17,135
And I said to you, see,
the trees weren't pruned because of you.
217
00:52:17,302 --> 00:52:19,429
Why did you have to disappear?
218
00:52:20,263 --> 00:52:22,182
You asked me not to be cross,
219
00:52:22,349 --> 00:52:24,643
sighed and smiled.
220
00:52:24,893 --> 00:52:29,939
Heldur, I think I've never even told you
that you have a beautiful smile.
221
00:52:30,231 --> 00:52:32,817
But then you didn't say anything
anymore.
222
00:52:33,443 --> 00:52:36,363
And when I looked in your direction
again,
223
00:52:36,821 --> 00:52:38,657
you weren't there anymore.
224
00:52:39,282 --> 00:52:41,117
It was autumn instead.
225
00:52:41,576 --> 00:52:43,662
Damp and dark.
226
00:52:44,663 --> 00:52:47,207
I stood under the apple tree alone.
227
00:52:48,208 --> 00:52:52,462
Under our wild apple tree
that grows in the middle of our field.
228
00:52:58,259 --> 00:52:59,969
I woke up
229
00:53:01,846 --> 00:53:03,306
and shivered.
230
00:53:11,189 --> 00:53:15,068
Heldur, I promise
that whatever the future brings,
231
00:53:15,235 --> 00:53:17,320
I won't ever be cross with you.
232
00:53:22,075 --> 00:53:24,119
Where are you, Heldur?
233
00:53:24,786 --> 00:53:27,414
Come already, let's go home...
234
00:56:19,210 --> 00:56:20,920
Dear Heldur,
235
00:56:22,297 --> 00:56:24,507
the years after the end of the war
236
00:56:24,674 --> 00:56:27,343
haven't brought the changes
we hoped for.
237
00:56:28,386 --> 00:56:31,598
Even though deep down
everyone is still homesick,
238
00:56:31,764 --> 00:56:35,518
we now live more in the present
of the days given to us.
239
00:56:37,228 --> 00:56:40,982
We've learned to get along even with
those we don't want to associate with.
240
00:56:42,567 --> 00:56:45,445
I have tried to walk the line, too.
241
00:56:46,654 --> 00:56:49,073
Relations and connections count.
242
00:56:49,240 --> 00:56:52,076
Even more than the little money.
243
00:56:52,869 --> 00:56:55,496
Most of the women
are looking for the security
244
00:56:55,663 --> 00:56:59,167
of being under the protective wing
of the chairman of the kolkhoz.
245
00:57:00,043 --> 00:57:02,503
You can't fault them for that.
246
00:57:04,881 --> 00:57:08,801
I've fulfilled all my work quotas,
even more than what's required.
247
00:57:09,802 --> 00:57:11,971
I manage pretty well.
248
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:17,435
They lined up the best workers
in the rajon's wall newspaper.
249
00:57:17,602 --> 00:57:19,687
They left my name out.
250
00:57:20,688 --> 00:57:24,484
Apparently it's not customary to print
enemies of the people on paper.
251
00:57:25,443 --> 00:57:27,403
Our brigade leader got so mad,
252
00:57:27,570 --> 00:57:31,074
swore to set things right
at rajon headquarters.
253
00:57:31,866 --> 00:57:35,161
He came back
with his tail between his legs.
254
00:57:35,828 --> 00:57:38,414
Still he praised me for my work
255
00:57:38,581 --> 00:57:43,044
and promised to keep me in mind
when they hand out bonuses.
256
00:57:44,253 --> 00:57:46,714
I can use that little something, too.
257
00:57:52,762 --> 00:57:56,349
I've been waiting for months already
for an answer
258
00:57:57,183 --> 00:57:59,852
to my request for information
about you.
259
00:58:02,939 --> 00:58:07,110
We hear that as long as Stalin is
in power, we won't get away from here.
260
00:58:07,819 --> 00:58:10,488
But I promise that...
261
00:58:11,489 --> 00:58:15,326
when I get permission, I'll find you.
262
00:58:22,083 --> 00:58:24,419
I think about you constantly.
263
00:58:25,420 --> 00:58:26,921
Maybe...
264
00:58:27,380 --> 00:58:30,508
you've been released
and you're somewhere...
265
00:58:32,427 --> 00:58:35,013
in the expanses of Siberia and...
266
00:58:38,558 --> 00:58:41,769
Many Estonians here
have started new families.
267
00:58:43,104 --> 00:58:45,857
I don't wish to do that.
268
00:58:49,944 --> 00:58:52,238
I'm thinking about...
269
00:58:52,905 --> 00:58:54,615
our little Eliide.
270
00:59:06,044 --> 00:59:08,421
Those days haunt me.
271
00:59:09,422 --> 00:59:11,299
The days before they took us away.
272
00:59:17,555 --> 00:59:20,308
Those last days in our homeland.
273
00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:29,609
I'm haunted by that decision that I made
on behalf of the rest of our family.
274
00:59:33,488 --> 00:59:37,075
It seems that the years have taken
everything else with them...
275
01:00:04,185 --> 01:00:07,814
I still think of those letters
276
01:00:08,564 --> 01:00:10,900
we sent to our relatives.
277
01:00:19,992 --> 01:00:23,538
I'm looking
at our free wild apple tree now.
278
01:00:30,253 --> 01:00:32,964
The hay around it is chest-high.
279
01:00:35,508 --> 01:00:38,511
Its branches no longer
look towards the sky.
280
01:00:38,928 --> 01:00:41,222
Instead they droop towards the ground.
281
01:00:45,476 --> 01:00:49,105
Does it long to enter the soil
where its roots are hidden
282
01:00:49,772 --> 01:00:52,483
or does it still hope
to burst into bloom?
283
01:01:02,451 --> 01:01:05,371
If people look like their choices
284
01:01:07,290 --> 01:01:09,250
then tell me, Heldur,
285
01:01:09,667 --> 01:01:11,711
who do I look like,
286
01:01:14,797 --> 01:01:19,302
that I took the two of you the chance
to see those blossoms once again?
287
01:01:28,644 --> 01:01:30,646
Who do I look like
288
01:01:33,858 --> 01:01:37,486
that I thought it was right
not to flee across the sea.
289
01:01:43,034 --> 01:01:46,120
The courage to believe
that we wouldn't be taken away...
290
01:01:48,831 --> 01:01:51,042
The courage to stay home.
291
01:02:03,387 --> 01:02:07,725
The loveliest years of my life
passed as if standing still.
292
01:02:10,728 --> 01:02:14,815
Regretting that we didn't flee
when we had the chance,
293
01:02:20,738 --> 01:02:23,866
holding all our lives to ransom.
294
01:03:28,264 --> 01:03:29,515
Heldur,
295
01:03:31,142 --> 01:03:33,311
we finally got a few days off
296
01:03:33,477 --> 01:03:36,439
at the beginning of March.
297
01:03:38,024 --> 01:03:41,527
We fulfilled our work quotas
ahead of time to earn it.
298
01:03:43,237 --> 01:03:46,490
Hermiine now belongs
to the chairman of the kolkhoz,
299
01:03:46,657 --> 01:03:48,868
they got married.
300
01:03:49,994 --> 01:03:54,457
He proposed to many of us,
301
01:03:54,749 --> 01:03:56,000
me, too.
302
01:03:58,419 --> 01:04:00,838
Finally, Hermiine agreed.
303
01:04:02,506 --> 01:04:06,469
We got to hear music and laughter
for the first time in ages.
304
01:04:07,219 --> 01:04:09,889
There are others besides Hermiine
and the chairman
305
01:04:10,056 --> 01:04:12,224
who have found each other.
306
01:04:12,892 --> 01:04:14,769
It's easier together.
307
01:04:15,186 --> 01:04:19,690
People need one another.
Regardless of the times we live in.
308
01:04:21,650 --> 01:04:25,071
Fortune has smiled on me as well.
309
01:04:26,572 --> 01:04:29,492
I was able to ask
for a month's wages in advance
310
01:04:30,409 --> 01:04:33,746
since I had exceeded my work quota,
and they gave it to me.
311
01:04:34,705 --> 01:04:37,124
And I bought myself a cow.
312
01:04:37,750 --> 01:04:41,087
Heldur, now I have my own
milk and butter on the table.
313
01:04:41,253 --> 01:04:43,464
I even have enough to sell some.
314
01:04:43,798 --> 01:04:47,093
You're probably thinking
how can I manage with a cow.
315
01:04:47,259 --> 01:04:50,554
But I've learned to do
all kinds of jobs here.
316
01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:53,099
My heart is filled with joy
317
01:04:53,265 --> 01:04:56,769
that I don't have to ask around
the village for milk anymore.
318
01:04:56,936 --> 01:05:00,398
Everyone came to see the cow
when she was brought to my yard.
319
01:05:01,148 --> 01:05:04,110
The men from our brigade helped
to bring her over.
320
01:05:04,652 --> 01:05:08,072
How she studied me
with her big eyes...
321
01:05:08,489 --> 01:05:11,117
She surely didn't understand my joy.
322
01:05:13,452 --> 01:05:15,246
Hermiine got the chairman,
323
01:05:15,413 --> 01:05:16,914
I got a cow.
324
01:05:17,456 --> 01:05:20,459
At the wedding reception,
the Estonian women joked
325
01:05:21,168 --> 01:05:23,504
that mine is more purebred.
326
01:05:23,671 --> 01:05:27,299
And they predicted that
our life together will be easier...
327
01:05:29,677 --> 01:05:32,972
With a great sorrow
328
01:05:33,305 --> 01:05:35,349
we announce yo the Paryy
329
01:05:35,516 --> 01:05:39,395
and all the working people
of the Soviey Union,
330
01:05:40,271 --> 01:05:46,235
thay on 5 March at 950 pm
..,
331
01:05:47,778 --> 01:05:50,531
following a serious illness,
332
01:05:51,740 --> 01:05:57,705
yhe chairman of yhe Council
of Ministers of the USSR,
333
01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:04,962
and the sec etary of the Cenyral r
Commityee of the Communisy Party,
334
01:06:05,754 --> 01:06:10,759
Josif Vissarionovich
Syalin, has passed away.
335
01:06:50,007 --> 01:06:53,052
We will not forget him.
336
01:06:54,595 --> 01:06:58,933
He will remain in our hearts forever
337
01:06:59,350 --> 01:07:03,687
as a token of our gratitude
for that eternal bliss
338
01:07:03,854 --> 01:07:07,608
that we, the Soviet people,
have had the good fortune
339
01:07:07,775 --> 01:07:12,154
to experience first
in the history of mankind.
340
01:07:13,030 --> 01:07:18,077
All the people of the world
are jealous of us for that.
341
01:07:18,244 --> 01:07:22,790
We swear to bear
with honour and forever
342
01:07:22,957 --> 01:07:26,293
the standards of Lenin and Stalin
343
01:07:26,460 --> 01:07:30,005
and to save the peoples
of the rest of the world
344
01:07:30,172 --> 01:07:33,968
so that they could enjoy
the same good fortune
345
01:07:34,134 --> 01:07:36,262
that we enjoy here.
346
01:07:37,930 --> 01:07:44,311
And the whole world
will become one big family.
347
01:08:12,673 --> 01:08:16,385
These years after Stalin's death
348
01:08:16,594 --> 01:08:21,765
have brought us changes
that we longed for.
349
01:08:27,146 --> 01:08:29,273
The chairman of our kolkhoz
350
01:08:30,024 --> 01:08:32,568
was sent to the far north
as punishment.
351
01:08:33,193 --> 01:08:35,863
Since he married
an enemy of the people.
352
01:08:38,115 --> 01:08:42,369
And also because
he used Stalin's plaster bust
353
01:08:43,287 --> 01:08:45,331
as a hat stand.
354
01:08:47,166 --> 01:08:51,170
Word in the village was that they'd been
looking for an excuse for a long time.
355
01:08:53,339 --> 01:08:58,385
Hermiine was sent to a labour camp...
356
01:09:00,638 --> 01:09:03,182
I really don't understand
what kind of country this is.
357
01:09:07,186 --> 01:09:12,775
This autumn they've started sending us
back to our homeland little by little.
358
01:09:13,859 --> 01:09:16,737
They're gradually
issuing passports as well.
359
01:09:19,740 --> 01:09:22,076
Since I was in the good books
in our brigade,
360
01:09:22,242 --> 01:09:25,537
I also received
official permission to go.
361
01:09:27,831 --> 01:09:30,668
Heldur, this happiness
362
01:09:31,251 --> 01:09:33,045
about being released
363
01:09:36,924 --> 01:09:38,342
is greater
364
01:09:39,134 --> 01:09:41,261
than we could have imagined.
365
01:09:48,310 --> 01:09:51,772
Our standard of living is different
now than it was recently.
366
01:09:51,939 --> 01:09:55,693
We get paid for our work
and most of us have a plot of land.
367
01:09:55,859 --> 01:09:58,779
Now there is food on the table
368
01:09:58,946 --> 01:10:01,615
and there's enough to sell to others.
369
01:10:02,866 --> 01:10:05,911
Some people have been sent packages
from our homeland.
370
01:10:08,038 --> 01:10:10,457
Regardless of all that has happened,
371
01:10:10,624 --> 01:10:14,169
we now feel as if we're... at home.
372
01:10:17,756 --> 01:10:23,053
Quite a few Estonians
have decided to stay...
373
01:10:25,139 --> 01:10:26,724
So that...
374
01:10:26,890 --> 01:10:28,308
mothers,
375
01:10:28,851 --> 01:10:30,352
daughters,
376
01:10:31,812 --> 01:10:33,063
sons
377
01:10:33,230 --> 01:10:36,316
and fathers
could share the same soil...
378
01:11:18,400 --> 01:11:21,695
Heldur, I promised myself
when I arrived here that...
379
01:11:21,862 --> 01:11:23,989
that I would find you.
380
01:11:26,784 --> 01:11:29,912
But how have these years changed you?
381
01:11:30,454 --> 01:11:32,039
What do you look like?
382
01:11:32,998 --> 01:11:34,500
Perhaps
383
01:11:35,042 --> 01:11:38,962
you're standing beside me
right here in the railway station
384
01:11:39,922 --> 01:11:41,757
and I don't recognise you.
385
01:11:46,845 --> 01:11:49,264
Tell me where I should look for you?
386
01:11:50,808 --> 01:11:54,895
In the soil under my feet
as I walk in the woods?
387
01:11:58,732 --> 01:12:03,403
Or in a solitary blade of grass
in an autumn flock of birds?
388
01:12:09,493 --> 01:12:12,287
Heldur, my heart hasn't forgotten you.
389
01:12:13,914 --> 01:12:17,709
There is still a place in my soul
that belongs to you.
390
01:12:20,212 --> 01:12:21,964
I have your words,
391
01:12:22,297 --> 01:12:24,758
your touch on my cheek.
392
01:12:26,468 --> 01:12:29,304
And part of you is around my waist.
393
01:12:31,265 --> 01:12:32,975
But that's all...
394
01:12:36,019 --> 01:12:37,771
I have of you.
395
01:12:41,316 --> 01:12:43,986
The hope that one day I'll see you
396
01:12:44,736 --> 01:12:47,155
walking towards our home,
397
01:12:47,322 --> 01:12:50,075
or sitting under our wild apple tree
398
01:12:51,702 --> 01:12:53,871
will probably never vanish.
399
01:12:58,625 --> 01:13:00,794
Please forgive me,
400
01:13:04,339 --> 01:13:06,550
but this time I'm not staying...
401
01:13:08,844 --> 01:13:11,346
I'm going back to our homeland.
402
01:13:12,431 --> 01:13:14,516
To me, you are there...
403
01:13:16,268 --> 01:13:18,312
And if you aren't,
404
01:13:19,271 --> 01:13:23,275
then keep in mind that a part of me
will remain here forever.
405
01:13:26,778 --> 01:13:28,447
With you.
406
01:13:31,450 --> 01:13:34,369
As well as with Eliide.
407
01:13:40,417 --> 01:13:42,169
I'm going home...
408
01:13:44,588 --> 01:13:47,341
Because what is freedom worth
409
01:13:47,507 --> 01:13:49,843
if you have to pay for it
410
01:13:50,010 --> 01:13:51,803
with solitude...
411
01:16:40,472 --> 01:16:42,057
Dear Erna,
412
01:16:43,850 --> 01:16:45,769
when your eyes read these lines,
413
01:16:45,936 --> 01:16:49,064
you and Eliide will already be
in our homeland.
414
01:16:50,816 --> 01:16:53,026
Since I didn'y know where to
wriye to you in Siberia,
415
01:16:53,193 --> 01:16:55,529
I wrote yo our relatives in Esyonia.
416
01:16:57,447 --> 01:17:00,117
Surely yhey'll pass
this letyer on yo you.
417
01:17:01,993 --> 01:17:04,329
Know yhat I'm well.
418
01:17:04,996 --> 01:17:07,666
As well as can be under
yhe circumstances.
419
01:17:08,416 --> 01:17:11,128
We've been in the same place
for the fifyh monyh now.
420
01:17:11,294 --> 01:17:14,381
We're being held in a cell.
In a prison camp.
421
01:17:16,049 --> 01:17:19,886
The men of Defence League have been seny
yo the tribunal one after another.
422
01:17:21,054 --> 01:17:22,389
Erna...
423
01:17:24,975 --> 01:17:26,893
yomorrow is my turn.
424
01:17:28,937 --> 01:17:30,605
I'm writing because...
425
01:17:30,772 --> 01:17:34,568
because none of ourmen have
come back afyer the tribunal.
426
01:17:34,860 --> 01:17:37,445
Some think yhat yhey are
being sent to yhe front,
427
01:17:37,612 --> 01:17:40,198
but my heary won't let me lie yo you...
428
01:17:42,951 --> 01:17:44,995
Don'y wait for me to come back.
429
01:17:48,331 --> 01:17:52,586
When yhis leyter finds you,
follow our relayives yo the Wesy.
430
01:17:53,336 --> 01:17:56,047
You can probably still gey away
by train.
431
01:17:58,008 --> 01:18:00,302
And one day we'll meey again!
432
01:18:02,053 --> 01:18:05,390
Then come from the west
as a fresh, free wind.
433
01:18:07,184 --> 01:18:09,769
And I'll come from here
as yhe easy wind.
434
01:18:11,605 --> 01:18:13,982
And we'll meey in the crosswind.
435
01:18:14,149 --> 01:18:16,651
We'll meet where yhe winds meey
,
436
01:18:17,152 --> 01:18:18,862
by our apple yree
437
01:18:20,363 --> 01:18:22,365
under the wing of the Creayor.
438
01:18:32,000 --> 01:18:33,543
Wiyh love
,
439
01:18:35,670 --> 01:18:37,130
Heldur.
440
01:27:04,846 --> 01:27:07,014
Subtitling: Monal Group