1 00:00:41,670 --> 00:00:44,610 [ Footsteps Running ] 2 00:00:45,808 --> 00:00:48,938 [ Honking ] 3 00:01:40,696 --> 00:01:42,996 [ Wings Flapping, Bird Chattering ] 4 00:01:52,608 --> 00:01:55,578 [ Groaning ] 5 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,020 I saw... 6 00:02:00,082 --> 00:02:05,812 something nasty in the woodshed. 7 00:02:17,099 --> 00:02:19,499 [ Thunderclap ] 8 00:02:57,439 --> 00:03:01,739 [ Man ] Help! Help! Help! 9 00:03:33,942 --> 00:03:38,242 [ Man ] I've always found your choice of hobby, madam, quite unique. 10 00:03:38,313 --> 00:03:41,943 Yes. What do you think, Sneller? 11 00:03:42,017 --> 00:03:44,457 Not really my department, madam. 12 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,580 Venus design. Waber Brothers, 1918. 13 00:03:47,656 --> 00:03:51,026 Famed corsetiers to the gentry. And if you look carefully, 14 00:03:51,093 --> 00:03:55,583 you'll see it's got only two elastic panels in front instead of the usual three. 15 00:03:55,664 --> 00:03:57,594 So it has, madam. [ Car Engine Rattling ] 16 00:04:00,536 --> 00:04:03,526 It's Miss Poste. Oh, poor thing. Go and let her in. 17 00:04:09,778 --> 00:04:12,108 Sneller, how are you? Very well, miss. 18 00:04:12,181 --> 00:04:15,581 I'm so sorry to hear about your parents. Thank you, Sneller. 19 00:04:15,651 --> 00:04:19,951 Do you have one and six for the driver? I'll see to it, miss. 20 00:04:20,022 --> 00:04:23,852 Flora, darling, was the funeral too awful? 21 00:04:23,926 --> 00:04:26,486 Ugh! Horrid. Though I'm bound to say... 22 00:04:26,562 --> 00:04:29,392 all the London relatives seemed to enjoy it no end. 23 00:04:29,464 --> 00:04:32,394 Did any of them ask you to go and live with them? I meant to warn you. 24 00:04:32,467 --> 00:04:36,097 Relatives at funerals always do that. Not me. 25 00:04:36,171 --> 00:04:38,761 I've only a hundred pounds a year, and I can't play bridge. 26 00:04:38,841 --> 00:04:41,031 And I was never very close to my parents. 27 00:04:41,109 --> 00:04:44,309 Of course you can stay here as long as you like, darling, 28 00:04:44,379 --> 00:04:47,049 but you'll probably want to take up some kind of work sometime: 29 00:04:47,115 --> 00:04:49,415 earn enough for a fat of your own. 30 00:04:49,484 --> 00:04:51,614 What kind of work? 31 00:04:51,687 --> 00:04:54,957 It's ages since I did any, but there must be something that would suit you. 32 00:04:55,023 --> 00:04:58,953 Bookkeeping, beekeeping. I can't do that, Mary. 33 00:04:59,027 --> 00:05:01,087 Really. Now, Flora, don't be feeble. 34 00:05:01,163 --> 00:05:04,393 You know you'd be miserable if you haven't a job and all your friends have. 35 00:05:04,466 --> 00:05:09,426 Besides, a hundred pounds a year.. Ha! Hardly keep you in stockings and fans. 36 00:05:09,504 --> 00:05:12,664 Oh, thank you, Sneller. Battenburg! My favorite. 37 00:05:13,742 --> 00:05:15,672 You must have some ambition. 38 00:05:15,744 --> 00:05:18,374 I do. I want to be a writer. 39 00:05:18,447 --> 00:05:20,817 When I'm 53, I mean to write a novel... 40 00:05:20,883 --> 00:05:23,853 as good as Persuasion, but with a modern setting. 41 00:05:23,919 --> 00:05:28,489 Well, how will you spend the next 30 years? Living life. 42 00:05:28,557 --> 00:05:32,997 Collecting material. Surely no one can object to that. 43 00:05:33,061 --> 00:05:37,821 I have such a lot in common with Jane Austen. Neither of us could endure a mess. 44 00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:40,100 What will you live on.. or off? 45 00:05:40,168 --> 00:05:44,038 As you said: relatives. I'm peculiarly rich in them. 46 00:05:44,106 --> 00:05:46,196 They haven't asked you. The London ones haven't, 47 00:05:46,275 --> 00:05:48,705 but there are plenty more all over the country. 48 00:05:48,777 --> 00:05:53,977 I'll send off some piteous letters tomorrow. What shall we do tonight? 49 00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:56,349 Are any of your admirers back from their jungles? 50 00:05:56,418 --> 00:06:00,548 You must see the New River club. It's ever so smart and select. Sneller, 51 00:06:00,622 --> 00:06:02,612 are any of the men home? 52 00:06:02,691 --> 00:06:07,091 I believe Mr. Fairford and Mr. Biscuit. Ah, Bikki! 53 00:06:07,162 --> 00:06:10,792 Charles Fairford? He's a relative, a sort of second cousin. 54 00:06:10,866 --> 00:06:12,926 Telephone, madam. 55 00:06:14,002 --> 00:06:17,162 Um, Belgravia.. 56 00:06:17,239 --> 00:06:19,369 2211. 57 00:06:29,384 --> 00:06:33,114 How was Kenya, Bikki? I've heard awful things about it. 58 00:06:33,188 --> 00:06:35,588 It's all true. 59 00:06:35,657 --> 00:06:39,287 More bubbly? Oh,just pour it, Bikki. 60 00:06:39,361 --> 00:06:41,881 Mary says you want to live with relatives. 61 00:06:41,964 --> 00:06:44,984 Oh, you shouldn't have said, Mary. He might think I want to go and live with him... 62 00:06:45,067 --> 00:06:47,267 and was angling for an invitation. 63 00:06:47,336 --> 00:06:52,566 You'd be very welcome. Mother would love it if you did. 64 00:06:52,641 --> 00:06:55,701 What do you do, Charles? 65 00:06:55,777 --> 00:07:00,617 Embryo parson, actually. Oh, well, that really makes it awkward. 66 00:07:00,682 --> 00:07:05,142 Anyway, you're not enough of a challenge. I like to organize things and tidy up. 67 00:07:05,220 --> 00:07:07,220 You seem tidy already. 68 00:07:07,289 --> 00:07:10,419 Besides, I want to learn about real life. 69 00:07:10,492 --> 00:07:12,752 What for? To put it in books. 70 00:07:12,828 --> 00:07:14,768 Oh, I see. 71 00:07:17,366 --> 00:07:19,626 How about it, Mary? 72 00:07:19,701 --> 00:07:21,631 I think Bikki wants to dance. 73 00:07:23,772 --> 00:07:25,962 [ Man ] What about that game of golf? 74 00:07:26,041 --> 00:07:28,161 [ Laughing ] 75 00:07:28,243 --> 00:07:31,503 [ Man ] I say. 76 00:07:41,356 --> 00:07:43,346 You ever think of getting married? 77 00:07:43,425 --> 00:07:47,195 I believe in arranged marriages, don't you? Rather out of date. 78 00:07:47,262 --> 00:07:51,632 Not at all. I've always liked the phrase ''A marriage has been arranged.'' 79 00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:54,370 When I feel like it, I'll arrange one. 80 00:07:54,436 --> 00:07:58,206 If you get bored, wherever you are, phone. 81 00:07:58,273 --> 00:08:00,573 I'll come and rescue you in my plane. 82 00:08:00,642 --> 00:08:05,132 Have you a plane, Charles? Mmm. Belisha Bat called 'Speed Cop Two'. 83 00:08:05,213 --> 00:08:08,343 Are you sure an embryo parson should have a plane? 84 00:08:08,417 --> 00:08:12,017 Everyone should have a plane. [ Laughing ] Oh, really, Charles. 85 00:08:20,629 --> 00:08:23,629 Post, Miss Poste. 86 00:08:23,698 --> 00:08:26,298 There you are. They've all answered. Now you'll be sorry. 87 00:08:26,368 --> 00:08:29,928 Well, wait now. I'll have to see what they have to say. 88 00:08:30,005 --> 00:08:33,705 Then I'll make my choice. Well, go on then. 89 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:41,210 ''My dear Niece, Such a sad loss..'' 90 00:08:41,283 --> 00:08:44,303 But we must all keep a stiff upper lip. 91 00:08:44,386 --> 00:08:46,316 You'd be most welcome here. 92 00:08:46,388 --> 00:08:51,088 The Worthing air is bracing, and dear Rosedale is always.. 93 00:08:51,159 --> 00:08:53,929 ''Full of the happiest of boarders. 94 00:08:53,995 --> 00:08:57,225 You'll find a true home atmosphere and plenty of fun.'' 95 00:08:57,299 --> 00:09:01,139 And cousin Peggy, now Arkela of her own troop, 96 00:09:01,203 --> 00:09:04,133 would love to share her bedroom with you. 97 00:09:04,206 --> 00:09:06,136 ''Your loving aunt Gwen. '' 98 00:09:07,476 --> 00:09:10,536 Share. I couldn't. 99 00:09:13,648 --> 00:09:17,918 [ Man ] I was shocked by your letter.. 100 00:09:17,986 --> 00:09:21,516 so shocked, my old trouble is back. 101 00:09:21,590 --> 00:09:27,060 I am very willing to shelter your wee girlhood under my roof, 102 00:09:27,129 --> 00:09:31,089 eh, but I fear you could find it dull... 103 00:09:31,166 --> 00:09:36,666 with no company save my poor chairbound self, 104 00:09:36,738 --> 00:09:39,108 my man.. Hoots.. 105 00:09:39,174 --> 00:09:43,664 and my housekeeper, now totally deaf. 106 00:09:43,745 --> 00:09:46,835 ''Still, there is marvelous bird life to be found in the marshes... 107 00:09:46,915 --> 00:09:49,475 that surround my ruin on all sides.'' 108 00:09:49,551 --> 00:09:52,011 [ Hacking Cough ] [ Flora Reading ] ''I must end now, 109 00:09:52,087 --> 00:09:54,487 ''as my old trouble is returning. 110 00:09:54,556 --> 00:09:58,286 Your loving uncle McKnag. '' No, Flora. No. 111 00:10:01,897 --> 00:10:06,767 [ Woman ] I've expected to hear from Robert Poste's child these 20 years. 112 00:10:06,835 --> 00:10:11,965 Child, my man once did your father a great wrong. 113 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:15,670 If you'll come here, I'll do my best to atone. 114 00:10:15,744 --> 00:10:19,704 But never ask what for. My lips are sealed. 115 00:10:19,781 --> 00:10:22,871 ''We're not like other folk maybe, but there have always been Starkadders... 116 00:10:22,951 --> 00:10:25,001 at Cold Comfort Farm.'' 117 00:10:25,086 --> 00:10:30,316 Will you stop it? ''And we will do our best to welcome Robert Poste's child.'' 118 00:10:30,392 --> 00:10:33,482 Child, child, 119 00:10:33,562 --> 00:10:35,622 if you come to this doomed house, 120 00:10:36,765 --> 00:10:38,695 what is there to save you? 121 00:10:38,767 --> 00:10:41,327 ''Your cousin, Judith Starkadder. '' 122 00:10:41,403 --> 00:10:45,493 Judith Starkadder? The daughter of my great-aunt, Ada Doom. 123 00:10:45,574 --> 00:10:47,504 whom Mother couldn't abide. 124 00:10:47,576 --> 00:10:49,506 Oh, it sounds appalling. 125 00:10:49,578 --> 00:10:53,278 Interesting and appalling. The others just sound appalling. 126 00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:55,288 Oh, Flora. I'm willing to bet... 127 00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:58,050 there are also cousins called ''Seth'' and ''Reuben.'' 128 00:10:58,119 --> 00:11:00,789 - Why? - Highly sexed young men living on farms... 129 00:11:00,855 --> 00:11:03,185 are always called ''Seth'' or ''Reuben.'' 130 00:11:03,258 --> 00:11:05,558 Really. I mean, there probably isn't even a bathroom. 131 00:11:05,627 --> 00:11:08,257 It is Sussex, for goodness' sake. 132 00:11:08,330 --> 00:11:12,270 Well, if you've really made up your mind to go, you'd better. You'll soon tire of it anyhow. 133 00:11:12,334 --> 00:11:14,264 I think I will go. 134 00:11:14,336 --> 00:11:18,106 I'm very keen to know what Cousin Judith means by my ''rights.'' 135 00:11:24,479 --> 00:11:29,109 [ Mary ] You have to change trains four times and get out somewhere called Beershorn Halt. 136 00:11:29,184 --> 00:11:32,384 Don't worry, Mary. There'll be plenty of material for my novel... 137 00:11:32,454 --> 00:11:34,754 and perhaps one or two family messes I can clear up. 138 00:11:34,823 --> 00:11:36,753 Something to take to the country. 139 00:11:36,825 --> 00:11:39,255 Flowers come from the country, Charles. 140 00:11:39,327 --> 00:11:42,267 Ohh. It's very kind of you. 141 00:11:43,331 --> 00:11:45,261 May I come with you to the station? 142 00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:47,823 Please do. I like to go off in style. 143 00:11:51,172 --> 00:11:53,102 Good-bye, my dove. 144 00:11:53,174 --> 00:11:56,234 I shall expect regular letters from you letting us know of your progress. 145 00:11:56,311 --> 00:11:58,241 I can send you things. What things? 146 00:11:58,313 --> 00:12:01,073 Oh, proper clothes, cheerful fashion papers. 147 00:12:01,149 --> 00:12:03,749 You'll need them. You've never lived in the country. 148 00:12:03,818 --> 00:12:05,808 I'm sure I'll find it very amusing. 149 00:12:07,455 --> 00:12:11,255 Mind you, wire if you want any gum boots or anything. 150 00:12:17,632 --> 00:12:19,562 [ Whistle Blowing ] 151 00:12:22,137 --> 00:12:24,077 [ Thinking ] It was winter, 152 00:12:24,139 --> 00:12:28,549 the grimmest hour of the darkest day of the year. 153 00:12:28,610 --> 00:12:30,550 Oh, no. 154 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,020 Really. 155 00:12:37,252 --> 00:12:41,312 [ Continues ] The golden orb had almost disappeared... 156 00:12:41,389 --> 00:12:45,229 behind the interlacing fingers of the hawthorn. 157 00:12:52,634 --> 00:12:57,364 [ Metal Banging ] Adam Lambsbreath! 158 00:12:57,439 --> 00:12:59,669 [ Banging Pail ] 159 00:13:02,277 --> 00:13:05,647 - [ Cow Bellowing ] - Steady, Graceless. 160 00:13:05,714 --> 00:13:08,304 Come on, Feckless. Fill 'un up. 161 00:13:08,383 --> 00:13:12,213 Adam? There you are. 162 00:13:12,287 --> 00:13:17,227 How many pails today? Dunno know how many, Miss Judith. 'Tis hard to tell. 163 00:13:17,292 --> 00:13:21,992 If Pointless got over her indigestion, maybe four. If not, maybe three. 164 00:13:22,063 --> 00:13:24,423 [ Giggling ] 165 00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:29,770 [ Moaning ] 166 00:13:31,539 --> 00:13:35,639 Get out of there, Seth,you no - good son of mine. 167 00:13:35,710 --> 00:13:39,880 Good day, Mother. Do you want to break my heart? 168 00:13:39,948 --> 00:13:44,048 - That's right. - Libertine. Who's that up there? 169 00:13:44,119 --> 00:13:46,319 Just lookin' for eggs, Miss Judith. 170 00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:49,452 Get back to the vicarage, Violet. 171 00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:51,454 And another thing, Adam. 172 00:13:51,526 --> 00:13:54,656 You'll have to take the trap down to Beershorn Halt. Meet the train. 173 00:13:54,729 --> 00:13:58,689 Robert Poste's child's comin' today. After the farm, is she? 174 00:13:58,767 --> 00:14:01,037 Oh, mun I, Miss Judith? 175 00:14:01,102 --> 00:14:04,162 Can't Seth go instead of me? 176 00:14:04,239 --> 00:14:08,199 How can I look in her little fower face knowing what I knows? 177 00:14:08,276 --> 00:14:10,906 You remember what happened when he went to meet the new kitchen maid. 178 00:14:10,979 --> 00:14:13,539 No. You go, Adam. 179 00:14:13,615 --> 00:14:17,315 Don't know how many times I feared this day would come. 180 00:14:17,385 --> 00:14:20,515 How will I know the little maidy? 181 00:14:20,588 --> 00:14:23,528 Who else is gonna get off at Beershorn Halt? 182 00:14:27,729 --> 00:14:33,399 [ Thinking ] A man's huge body, rude as a wind-tortured thorn, 183 00:14:33,468 --> 00:14:37,238 was printed dark against the fame of sun that-- 184 00:14:37,305 --> 00:14:43,145 that throbbed-- that throbbed on the tip of Mockuncle Hill. 185 00:14:43,211 --> 00:14:45,971 The golden orb.. [ Conductor ] Beershorn! 186 00:14:46,047 --> 00:14:47,987 Oh. 187 00:14:57,892 --> 00:14:59,912 [ Blows Whistle ] [ Train Whistle Blowing ] 188 00:15:23,017 --> 00:15:25,747 gh! How revolting! 189 00:15:25,820 --> 00:15:28,260 Don't you know this trap's filthy? 190 00:15:28,323 --> 00:15:31,153 [ Grunting ] 191 00:15:33,394 --> 00:15:36,764 Are ye the little maidy, Robert Poste's child? 192 00:15:36,831 --> 00:15:38,851 Yes, I'm the little maidy. Who are you? 193 00:15:38,933 --> 00:15:42,293 Adam. Adam Lambsbreath. 194 00:15:43,838 --> 00:15:47,468 Ye get up. I'll see to them, Robert Poste's child. 195 00:15:47,542 --> 00:15:52,062 Miss Poste. Or Miss Flora, if you want to be completely feudal. 196 00:15:52,146 --> 00:15:54,076 Ugh! 197 00:16:03,057 --> 00:16:06,457 [ Flora ] Where's this? Howlin; Robert Poste's child. 198 00:16:06,528 --> 00:16:08,758 Howling? Are we nearly there? 199 00:16:08,830 --> 00:16:12,530 Another few miles yet, Robert Poste's child. 200 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,540 Git on, Viper. 201 00:16:17,739 --> 00:16:22,869 What's the farm like? The seeds wither and the earth will not nourish 'em. 202 00:16:22,944 --> 00:16:26,314 The cows are barren. The sows are farren. 203 00:16:26,381 --> 00:16:30,441 All is turned to sourness and ruin. Oh, dear. 204 00:16:30,518 --> 00:16:32,958 Is there no money? 'Tain't money. 205 00:16:33,021 --> 00:16:36,471 There's a curse on the place, Robert Poste's child. 206 00:16:36,558 --> 00:16:39,958 'Tis the Starkadders'doom. 207 00:16:40,028 --> 00:16:43,228 [ Flora ] Oh, I'm sure it's not as bad as all that. 208 00:16:43,298 --> 00:16:45,238 [ Groaning ] 209 00:16:47,502 --> 00:16:49,622 [ Adam ] Viper. 210 00:16:50,505 --> 00:16:53,065 Whoa there, Viper. 211 00:16:53,141 --> 00:16:56,471 Well, it is a little gloomy, I agree. 212 00:17:04,919 --> 00:17:08,379 Whoa. Whoa, Viper! 213 00:17:09,958 --> 00:17:13,758 Get 'e down, Robert Poste's child. 214 00:17:16,931 --> 00:17:20,421 Oh, how do you do? You must be Cousin Judith. 215 00:17:20,501 --> 00:17:24,451 It's so good of you to have me. Isn't it curious we've never met before? 216 00:17:25,974 --> 00:17:28,704 'Tis Robert Poste's child, all right. [ Cow Bellowing ] 217 00:17:28,776 --> 00:17:32,006 That's Graceless, looking out for me. 218 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,950 You get back to your cows, Adam. My luggage. 219 00:17:35,016 --> 00:17:39,576 Meriam'll bring it. This way, Miss Poste. 220 00:17:51,132 --> 00:17:54,652 I think,just for tonight, I'll eat in my room if I may. 221 00:17:54,736 --> 00:17:58,606 It's cold there. I expect a fire will soon warm it up. 222 00:17:59,807 --> 00:18:01,797 Oh, my sons'll be sorry. 223 00:18:03,144 --> 00:18:05,304 They wanted to see their little cousin. 224 00:18:05,380 --> 00:18:08,840 Your sons? Seth and Reuben. 225 00:18:08,916 --> 00:18:11,006 Seth and Reuben. Really? 226 00:18:11,085 --> 00:18:13,845 Well, I'll see them tomorrow, I'm sure. 227 00:18:21,529 --> 00:18:25,529 Someone has a hearty appetite. Follow me, Miss Poste. 228 00:18:30,938 --> 00:18:34,238 Nobody shall say we didn't do right by Robert Poste's child. 229 00:18:34,308 --> 00:18:36,248 No. Quite. 230 00:18:37,845 --> 00:18:39,775 Thank you. 231 00:18:50,191 --> 00:18:52,121 [ Springs Squeaking ] 232 00:19:01,569 --> 00:19:04,539 [ Rustling ] 233 00:19:18,186 --> 00:19:20,116 Hey, Elfine. 234 00:19:22,824 --> 00:19:27,694 My little water - vole. My little water - vole. 235 00:19:48,916 --> 00:19:51,506 [ Rooster Crowing ] 236 00:19:51,586 --> 00:19:54,176 Mmm. [ Chickens Clucking ] 237 00:19:56,190 --> 00:19:58,130 Ohh. 238 00:20:00,328 --> 00:20:03,228 [ Adam ] You'd never sell Feckless! [ Man ] I do what I like! 239 00:20:03,297 --> 00:20:06,737 [ Adam ] Who could've tended the poor, dumb beasty better nor I? 240 00:20:06,801 --> 00:20:11,991 I knows what's in her heart better than I knows what's in the hearts of some humans. 241 00:20:12,073 --> 00:20:14,833 [ Man ] Look at her! Be hard to find a knacker's man who'd take her. 242 00:20:14,909 --> 00:20:17,539 And another thing! I don't pay ye wages to collect... 243 00:20:17,612 --> 00:20:20,772 chicken feathers and sell 'em down Beershorn for good money! 244 00:20:20,848 --> 00:20:25,048 That weren't I! May I never set hand on plough again if it were! 245 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,919 That were rk! I say. 246 00:20:27,989 --> 00:20:31,519 Do you think you would mind not talking quite so loudly, please? 247 00:20:31,592 --> 00:20:34,152 Some of us are trying to sleep. 248 00:20:34,228 --> 00:20:36,168 Oh. Ohh. 249 00:21:22,810 --> 00:21:25,910 Wife, where's Elfine? 250 00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:28,580 Not up yet, I expect, Amos. 251 00:21:28,649 --> 00:21:31,819 Godless habit, lyin' abed of a workin' day. 252 00:21:31,886 --> 00:21:36,046 The reekin' fires lie waiting for them as do. 253 00:21:36,123 --> 00:21:40,323 What a family I'm cursed with. 254 00:21:40,394 --> 00:21:44,094 You'll fritter and fry in hell, the lot of you! 255 00:21:44,165 --> 00:21:46,255 Meriam passed out this morning. 256 00:21:46,334 --> 00:21:48,324 Oh, bless her. 257 00:21:48,402 --> 00:21:52,162 Ah. Reckon her time's come, eh, Seth? 258 00:21:56,010 --> 00:21:57,980 Robert Poste's child here, innit she? 259 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,210 After your inheritance, eh, Reuben? 260 00:22:09,357 --> 00:22:11,297 Robert Poste's child. 261 00:22:17,098 --> 00:22:20,038 Well, some of us has farmin' to do. 262 00:22:20,101 --> 00:22:24,501 rk, time the barren field were gone over with a prunin'snoot. 263 00:22:24,572 --> 00:22:28,662 Reuben, get plowin' down Nettle Flitch. Seth, 264 00:22:28,743 --> 00:22:30,673 you drain the well. 265 00:22:30,745 --> 00:22:32,715 There's a neighbor missin'. 266 00:22:46,727 --> 00:22:48,857 So you're the little lady from London... 267 00:22:48,930 --> 00:22:50,870 with your smart ways, eh? 268 00:22:53,134 --> 00:22:55,394 I know your sort. 269 00:22:55,469 --> 00:22:57,999 Drain away a man's blood soon as look at him. 270 00:22:58,072 --> 00:23:00,592 Seth, after you've done the well, 271 00:23:00,675 --> 00:23:03,375 you get scrattlin' up at Ticklepenny Corner. 272 00:23:07,214 --> 00:23:10,584 Come on, Miss Poste. Adam will get you breakfast. 273 00:23:22,563 --> 00:23:24,493 Is there any bread and butter and some tea, Adam? 274 00:23:24,565 --> 00:23:26,495 I don't much care for porridge. 275 00:23:26,567 --> 00:23:29,267 Bread and butter in the crocket. Tea in the pot. 276 00:23:29,337 --> 00:23:33,867 Now leave me in peace. I mun cletter the dishes, Robert Poste's child. 277 00:23:36,978 --> 00:23:40,918 That's a twig. What you want is a nice little mop with a handle. 278 00:23:40,982 --> 00:23:43,502 It would get the dishes cleaner and be so much quicker too. 279 00:23:43,584 --> 00:23:45,984 Don't want no mop with a handle. I've clettered dishes... 280 00:23:46,053 --> 00:23:48,483 with an old thorn twig nigh on 50 year. 281 00:23:48,556 --> 00:23:50,756 And what was good enough then is good enough now, is it? 282 00:23:50,825 --> 00:23:52,885 Aye. 283 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,130 Adam, I've been thinking about the Starkadders' doom. 284 00:23:56,197 --> 00:24:00,097 Why doesn't Cousin Amos just sell this and buy a farm that doesn't have a curse on it? 285 00:24:00,167 --> 00:24:03,327 In Berkshire or Devon, perhaps. Nay. 286 00:24:03,404 --> 00:24:06,564 There's always been Starkadders at Cold Comfort Farm. 287 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,610 'Tis impossible for any of us to dream of leavin'. 288 00:24:09,677 --> 00:24:15,307 Mrs. Starkadder's set on us stayin'. 'Tis her life-- the very life in her veins. 289 00:24:15,383 --> 00:24:18,113 Cousin Judith, you mean? She doesn't seem very happy here. 290 00:24:18,185 --> 00:24:22,455 No, I mean the old lady, old Mrs. Starkadder. 291 00:24:22,523 --> 00:24:24,853 Is she dead? No. 292 00:24:24,925 --> 00:24:27,395 [ Laughing ] 293 00:24:27,461 --> 00:24:30,321 No, miss, she's alive right enough. 294 00:24:30,398 --> 00:24:32,698 Her hand lies on us like iron, 295 00:24:32,767 --> 00:24:35,327 but she never leaves her room, 296 00:24:35,403 --> 00:24:37,633 never sees no one but Miss Judith. 297 00:24:37,705 --> 00:24:41,505 Ain't left the farm these 20 year. That be her tray-- [ Chickens Squawking ] 298 00:24:41,575 --> 00:24:44,475 Oh, there she is, my little wennit. 299 00:24:48,149 --> 00:24:52,389 - Gracious. Who's that? - That's my cowdlin'. 300 00:24:52,453 --> 00:24:55,083 That's Elfine Starkadder. 301 00:24:55,156 --> 00:24:58,026 Does she always charge about like that? 302 00:24:58,092 --> 00:25:01,822 She's as wild and shy as a pharisee of the woods. 303 00:25:01,896 --> 00:25:04,386 Days, she's gone wandering the downs... 304 00:25:04,465 --> 00:25:09,025 with only the spyin'magpies and little rabbits for company. 305 00:25:09,103 --> 00:25:12,733 No thought for them as loved her and cowdled her in their bosom... 306 00:25:12,807 --> 00:25:14,747 when she were a mommet. 307 00:25:14,809 --> 00:25:16,749 - [ Bell Ringing ] - How trying. I'll take the tray, Adam. 308 00:25:16,811 --> 00:25:20,041 Oh, no, miss! I doubt she even know you're here. 309 00:25:20,114 --> 00:25:22,604 I understand what to do. Just leave it outside her door. 310 00:25:22,683 --> 00:25:27,083 No, m.. [ Bell Ringing ] 311 00:25:47,942 --> 00:25:50,172 [ Door Creaking ] 312 00:25:58,319 --> 00:26:01,379 Elfine. What do you want? 313 00:26:01,455 --> 00:26:04,545 Cousin Judith's room. Be a lamb and show me the way. 314 00:26:04,625 --> 00:26:06,555 It's that way. 315 00:26:09,163 --> 00:26:13,293 Do forgive me saying so, but I'd love to see you in blue. 316 00:26:13,367 --> 00:26:15,997 Some shades of green are good, of course, but... 317 00:26:16,070 --> 00:26:18,740 dull greens are very trying, I always think. 318 00:26:18,806 --> 00:26:21,606 Definitely blue. You try it and see. 319 00:26:24,778 --> 00:26:26,718 Oh! Who's that? 320 00:26:26,780 --> 00:26:30,020 It's Urk. He's horrible! 321 00:26:30,084 --> 00:26:32,814 He's after me again. Go away! 322 00:26:32,887 --> 00:26:35,827 [ Cackling ] 323 00:26:40,161 --> 00:26:42,151 [ Knocking ] Who's there? 324 00:26:42,229 --> 00:26:47,759 Good morning. I'm so sorry to interrupt you while you're busy writing letters. 325 00:26:47,835 --> 00:26:53,105 Busy? Oh! Busy weavin' me own shroud, be like. 326 00:26:53,174 --> 00:26:56,704 You can do what you please round the farm, Robert Poste's child, 327 00:26:56,777 --> 00:26:59,547 if you don't break in on me loneliness. 328 00:26:59,613 --> 00:27:04,643 Give me time and I'll atone for the wrong my man did your father. 329 00:27:04,718 --> 00:27:09,458 Give us all time and we'll atone. 330 00:27:09,523 --> 00:27:13,013 I don't suppose you'd care to tell me what the wrong was. 331 00:27:13,093 --> 00:27:15,393 My lips are sealed, Miss Poste. 332 00:27:15,462 --> 00:27:17,392 Just as you like, Cousin Judith. 333 00:27:17,464 --> 00:27:20,724 Now, can we discuss my keep? I have a hundred a year. 334 00:27:20,801 --> 00:27:24,991 I wouldn't touch a single penny of Robert Poste's money. 335 00:27:25,072 --> 00:27:29,062 While you're here, you're a guest of Cold Comfort. 336 00:27:29,143 --> 00:27:32,973 Every middock will be paid for by our sweat. 337 00:27:33,047 --> 00:27:35,107 [ Woman Moaning ] 338 00:27:35,182 --> 00:27:37,642 While I'm here, might I make a few changes? 339 00:27:37,718 --> 00:27:41,158 I adore my bedroom, but do you think I could have my curtains washed? 340 00:27:41,222 --> 00:27:44,312 I believe they're red, but I should like to make sure. 341 00:27:44,391 --> 00:27:48,381 Child, child, it's years since such trifes... 342 00:27:48,462 --> 00:27:51,862 broke across the web of my solitude. 343 00:27:51,932 --> 00:27:54,862 Perhaps Meriam could wash them. [ Shrieking ] 344 00:27:54,935 --> 00:27:59,205 - Oh, not now. Her time has come. - She's in labor? Where? 345 00:28:01,875 --> 00:28:05,175 - Is the doctor there? - You leave her be. 346 00:28:05,246 --> 00:28:08,946 Every year when the sukebind flowers, it's the same thing. 347 00:28:09,016 --> 00:28:12,316 Just the hand of nature. We women can't escape it. 348 00:28:12,386 --> 00:28:15,416 Of course we can! Who's responsible? 349 00:28:15,489 --> 00:28:18,119 Oh, cursed be the day I brought him forth... 350 00:28:18,192 --> 00:28:21,212 and the nourishment he drew from my bosom. 351 00:28:21,295 --> 00:28:24,425 Cursed be the wooing tongue God gave him... 352 00:28:24,498 --> 00:28:28,098 to bring disgrace upon weak females. 353 00:28:28,168 --> 00:28:31,468 Right. Well, if you'll excuse me, Cousin Judith, 354 00:28:31,538 --> 00:28:33,598 I have a few things to attend to. 355 00:29:20,554 --> 00:29:22,814 [ Groaning ] 356 00:29:22,890 --> 00:29:25,290 Who's there? Are you all right? 357 00:29:25,359 --> 00:29:28,859 It's Miss Poste, from the farm. What do you want? 358 00:29:28,929 --> 00:29:31,659 May I come in? 359 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,500 Come to mock me in my shame, mum? 360 00:29:35,569 --> 00:29:38,769 I thought you were in labor. I heard you cry out. 361 00:29:38,839 --> 00:29:43,779 Had it last night. I was just moaning a bit. 362 00:29:43,844 --> 00:29:48,404 It's not so bad if you keep your spirits up and eat hearty aforehand. 363 00:29:48,482 --> 00:29:51,842 Is it your first? 'Tis my fourth. 364 00:29:51,919 --> 00:29:55,449 And who knows what'll happen again when the sukebind's out in the hedges. 365 00:29:55,522 --> 00:29:59,382 Now look, Meriam, nothing need happen so long as you use your intelligence... 366 00:29:59,460 --> 00:30:01,730 and see it doesn't. 367 00:30:01,795 --> 00:30:04,495 Haven't you heard of family planning? No, mum. 368 00:30:04,565 --> 00:30:08,505 You can prevent it. All you need's a little rubber bowler hat to stop it happening again. 369 00:30:08,569 --> 00:30:13,699 - The doctor can show you. - What would I look like in a rubber bowler hat? 370 00:30:13,774 --> 00:30:19,174 - You wear it inside, Meriam. - Oh, no, mum. 'Tis fyin' against nature, that is. 371 00:30:19,246 --> 00:30:21,506 Nonsense. Nature's all very well in her place, 372 00:30:21,582 --> 00:30:24,202 but she mustn't be allowed to make things untidy. 373 00:30:24,284 --> 00:30:27,844 Now remember, Meriam, no more sukebind and summer evenings... 374 00:30:27,921 --> 00:30:29,851 without a few preparations beforehand. 375 00:30:29,923 --> 00:30:32,553 If you'll wash my bedroom curtains for me, I'll pay you. 376 00:30:32,626 --> 00:30:36,496 That can go towards buying whatever it is your children have to eat. 377 00:30:36,563 --> 00:30:38,993 Mornin', miss. 378 00:30:39,066 --> 00:30:43,596 Hello, Mother. She wants me to wash her bedroom curtains. 379 00:30:43,670 --> 00:30:47,770 Who's ''she''? The cat's mother? You speak proper to the young lady. 380 00:30:47,841 --> 00:30:51,641 Never thought I'd hear anyone wanting washing done at Cold Comfort. 381 00:30:51,712 --> 00:30:56,042 She'll wash 'em for you, miss. Oh, how is he? 382 00:30:57,151 --> 00:30:59,711 Fine. They always does. 383 00:30:59,787 --> 00:31:01,877 Well, you needn't sound as if you wish they wouldn't. 384 00:31:01,955 --> 00:31:06,415 Lord knows, none of'em was very welcome, poor little innocents. 385 00:31:06,493 --> 00:31:11,223 Still, now they're here, we might as well look after 'em right. 386 00:31:11,298 --> 00:31:14,898 Come another four years, I'll start makin' use of'em. 387 00:31:14,968 --> 00:31:16,908 How? 388 00:31:16,970 --> 00:31:19,470 Train the four of'em up for one of them jazz bands. 389 00:31:19,540 --> 00:31:24,110 They get six pound a night playin' up west in the nightclubs. 390 00:31:24,178 --> 00:31:27,878 That's why we got to look after 'em right. Yeah. 391 00:31:27,948 --> 00:31:31,578 He's gonna be a trombone player. Look at his mouth. 392 00:31:34,087 --> 00:31:36,457 A telegram, madam. 393 00:31:36,523 --> 00:31:39,383 Ooh, it must be from Flora. 394 00:31:39,460 --> 00:31:41,400 Oh, do read it, Sneller. 395 00:31:43,831 --> 00:31:48,691 ''Worst fears realized. Seth and Reuben too. 396 00:31:48,769 --> 00:31:52,799 Everything needs changing. Send magazines.'' 397 00:32:13,460 --> 00:32:15,400 Morning. Morning. 398 00:32:15,462 --> 00:32:17,392 Not so bad now, eh? No. 399 00:32:24,071 --> 00:32:27,631 Lunches, dear? We do, but only in August. 400 00:32:27,708 --> 00:32:30,838 Not always then. You can have what we're havin'. 401 00:32:30,911 --> 00:32:33,371 Got to cook my gentleman's dinner. Oh! 402 00:32:33,447 --> 00:32:36,607 Oh, no, my dear. That's Mr. Hawk-Monitor from up the Hall. 403 00:32:36,683 --> 00:32:39,153 He's a real gentleman. He don't eat here. 404 00:32:39,219 --> 00:32:43,279 My gentleman's a Mr. Mybug from London. He's a book writer. 405 00:32:43,357 --> 00:32:46,187 Oh, not another. There he is now. 406 00:32:46,260 --> 00:32:50,500 Walks the High Weald all hours, he does. Then comes in covered in mud. 407 00:32:50,564 --> 00:32:52,924 [ Humming ] 408 00:32:55,836 --> 00:32:59,826 Good day, all. Nice walk, Mr. Mybug? 409 00:32:59,907 --> 00:33:03,747 I have freely wandered the ample suckling breasts of the welcoming hills. 410 00:33:03,810 --> 00:33:06,150 A pint of cider, if you would, Mrs. Murther. 411 00:33:06,213 --> 00:33:08,273 Ayoung lady askin' after you. 412 00:33:10,150 --> 00:33:12,450 Ha! Flora Poste, isn't it? 413 00:33:12,519 --> 00:33:15,219 May I sit down? We met at the Polswetts in October. 414 00:33:15,289 --> 00:33:17,959 Did we, Mr. Mybug? Meyerburg. Don't you remember? 415 00:33:18,025 --> 00:33:22,055 Harriet Belmont sat naked on the grass and played to us on her fute. 416 00:33:22,129 --> 00:33:26,089 Actually, the Polswetts said you were down here. I rather hoped I would run into you. 417 00:33:26,166 --> 00:33:28,966 Better go up and dry off, hadn't you, Mr. Mybug? 418 00:33:29,036 --> 00:33:32,806 Yes, yes. Dear me, I do seem somewhat soaked in nature's fecund blessing. 419 00:33:32,873 --> 00:33:35,893 I shall see you in a very few moments, my dear Miss Poste. 420 00:33:35,976 --> 00:33:39,106 But let me warn you. I'm a queer, moody brute, 421 00:33:39,179 --> 00:33:42,519 but there's rich soil in here if you care to dig for it. 422 00:33:46,153 --> 00:33:49,913 [ Singing ] 423 00:33:49,990 --> 00:33:53,860 Mrs. Murther, I think I'll do without lunch today after all. All right, dear. 424 00:33:55,262 --> 00:33:57,192 Good - bye. 425 00:34:07,841 --> 00:34:10,501 Hello. 426 00:34:10,577 --> 00:34:13,607 I thought I'd introduce the custom of afternoon tea. 427 00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:15,620 Do you take milk? 428 00:34:36,436 --> 00:34:40,236 I scranletted 200 furrow come 3:00 down in the bute. 429 00:34:41,875 --> 00:34:44,745 Did you? Aye. 430 00:34:44,811 --> 00:34:46,741 Did too. 431 00:34:46,813 --> 00:34:51,013 All the way from Ticklepenny Corner to Nettle Flitch. 432 00:34:55,055 --> 00:34:56,985 Could you 'a' done that? 433 00:34:57,057 --> 00:34:59,687 No, indeed. I certainly couldn't, Reuben. 434 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:02,260 But then, you see, I shouldn't want to. 435 00:35:03,764 --> 00:35:06,994 Take the farm, pay hired men, I'd wager. 436 00:35:08,268 --> 00:35:11,208 Waste all the takings. No, I wouldn't. 437 00:35:11,271 --> 00:35:14,631 I wouldn't care if Ticklepenny Corner wasn't scranletted at all. 438 00:35:14,708 --> 00:35:18,308 I'd let you do it instead. Let? Let! 439 00:35:19,813 --> 00:35:21,783 That's a fine word to use to a man... 440 00:35:21,848 --> 00:35:24,648 that's nursed this farm like a sick mommet, 441 00:35:24,718 --> 00:35:27,448 knows every inch of soil and patch of sukebind in the place. 442 00:35:27,521 --> 00:35:30,781 Let's get it straight, Reuben. I don't want the farm. 443 00:35:30,857 --> 00:35:35,757 I'm the last person in the world to be any good at scranletting. Really. 444 00:35:35,829 --> 00:35:39,499 I prefer to leave it to people who know all about it. Like you. 445 00:35:46,206 --> 00:35:48,236 [ Door Opening ] 446 00:36:06,493 --> 00:36:10,693 What's that you're makin'? A bath towel, Seth. 447 00:36:10,764 --> 00:36:12,754 Would you like some tea? 448 00:36:14,334 --> 00:36:16,264 You women are all alike. 449 00:36:19,439 --> 00:36:23,499 Fussin'over your fal - de - lals to bedaze a man's eyes, eh? 450 00:36:24,611 --> 00:36:26,841 And what you really want is his blood, 451 00:36:26,913 --> 00:36:31,543 his pride and the heart out ofhis body. 452 00:36:31,618 --> 00:36:33,988 - Really? - Aye. 453 00:36:34,054 --> 00:36:39,014 and then when you got him, bound up in your fal-de-lals and your softness... 454 00:36:39,092 --> 00:36:42,682 and he can't move 'cause of the longin' that cries in his blood, what do you do then, eh? 455 00:36:42,763 --> 00:36:45,233 I'm afraid I don't know, Seth. 456 00:36:45,298 --> 00:36:48,288 Would you mind passing me that reel of cotton on the dresser? 457 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,420 This what you're after? 458 00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:08,159 Thank you. 459 00:37:08,221 --> 00:37:10,151 You eats him. 460 00:37:11,424 --> 00:37:14,514 Same as a hen spider eats a cock spider. 461 00:37:16,363 --> 00:37:19,553 But I don't let no women eat me. 462 00:37:19,633 --> 00:37:22,623 I eats them instead. 463 00:37:22,702 --> 00:37:26,892 You don't understand what I'm sayin', do you, little innocent? 464 00:37:26,973 --> 00:37:29,303 Yes, and I think it's dreadful. 465 00:37:29,376 --> 00:37:33,476 What do you do in the evenings, Seth? When you're not eating people. 466 00:37:36,817 --> 00:37:40,187 - Go over Beershorn to the talkies. - Oh, you like the talkies? 467 00:37:40,253 --> 00:37:42,613 Better than anything in the whole world. 468 00:37:50,730 --> 00:37:53,000 Seventy-four photos of Lottie Funchal. 469 00:37:56,937 --> 00:37:59,597 Forty ofJennie Carroll. 470 00:37:59,673 --> 00:38:02,763 Fifty - five, Laura Valley. 471 00:38:04,744 --> 00:38:09,514 All signed ones. That's where I'm goin' now. 472 00:38:09,583 --> 00:38:12,813 D'you want to come? They're showin' 'Street Sinners'. 473 00:38:12,886 --> 00:38:17,656 I saw it in London, actually. Thank you, Seth. You'll enjoy it. 474 00:38:29,436 --> 00:38:31,366 Women. 475 00:38:40,413 --> 00:38:44,213 You'll be glad to know my campaign for tidying up Cold Comfort Farm... 476 00:38:44,284 --> 00:38:46,214 is going rather well. 477 00:38:46,286 --> 00:38:50,056 ''I've already begun to soften the dour Reuben, 478 00:38:50,123 --> 00:38:54,323 and I think I've discovered the real nature of Seth's grand passion.'' 479 00:38:54,394 --> 00:38:58,884 Ahem. ''I've started teaching the hired girl the precautionary arts--'' 480 00:38:58,965 --> 00:39:01,095 Very good. ''All part of my mission... 481 00:39:01,167 --> 00:39:03,567 ''to drag them into the modern world, 482 00:39:03,637 --> 00:39:05,937 ''and I'm also getting my bedroom curtains washed, 483 00:39:06,006 --> 00:39:08,946 ''but I still have to meet Aunt Ada Doom, 484 00:39:09,009 --> 00:39:12,779 ''and I have no idea what wrong was done to Papa. 485 00:39:12,846 --> 00:39:15,406 Please send this month's Vogue.'' 486 00:39:17,517 --> 00:39:21,687 [ Thinking ] From the stubborn interwoven strata of his unconscious, 487 00:39:22,822 --> 00:39:26,752 thought seeped up into his dim... 488 00:39:26,826 --> 00:39:28,756 conscious, 489 00:39:28,828 --> 00:39:31,728 not as an integral part of that consciousness, 490 00:39:31,798 --> 00:39:36,328 but rather as an impalpable emanation... 491 00:39:36,403 --> 00:39:39,963 from the unsleeping life of the nature that surrounded him. 492 00:39:41,608 --> 00:39:44,238 The golden orb-- 493 00:39:44,311 --> 00:39:46,271 The golden orb-- 494 00:39:48,615 --> 00:39:50,545 Oh, dear. 495 00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:16,740 [ Chickens Clucking ] Amos! 496 00:40:19,245 --> 00:40:22,875 Where you going? Preachin'. At Beershorn. 497 00:40:22,949 --> 00:40:25,579 At the Church of the Quiverin' Brethren. 498 00:40:25,652 --> 00:40:30,582 They'll all burn in hell, and someone's gotta tell them so. 499 00:40:30,657 --> 00:40:34,527 May I come with you? Think you'll escape from the fires of hell... 500 00:40:34,594 --> 00:40:37,354 if you come along with me and bow down and quiver? 501 00:40:37,430 --> 00:40:41,340 'Tis too late, young lady. You'll burn with the rest. 502 00:40:41,401 --> 00:40:43,891 Well, I should like to see it, even so. 503 00:40:43,970 --> 00:40:46,440 Why are they called ''Quivering Brethren''? 504 00:40:46,506 --> 00:40:50,276 Why? Because they quiver when they prepare for torment. 505 00:40:50,343 --> 00:40:52,433 [ Cow Bellowing ] 506 00:40:52,512 --> 00:40:56,702 Do you prepare your sermons beforehand or does it just come? 507 00:40:56,783 --> 00:41:01,773 Word is never prepared. It falls on me mind like manna from heaven. 508 00:41:02,856 --> 00:41:06,126 Really? How interesting. 509 00:41:06,192 --> 00:41:08,952 Then you have no idea what you're going to say before you get there? 510 00:41:09,029 --> 00:41:11,829 Aye. I always know it'll be summat about burnin'. 511 00:41:11,898 --> 00:41:14,058 And does anyone else preach, or are you the only one? 512 00:41:14,134 --> 00:41:16,064 Only me. [ Bell Ringing ] 513 00:41:16,136 --> 00:41:21,266 Deborah Checkbottom, she tried onceways to get up and preach, but she couldn't. 514 00:41:21,341 --> 00:41:24,201 The Lord weren't in her. 515 00:41:24,277 --> 00:41:28,907 [ Congregation ] Whate'er shall we do O Lord 516 00:41:28,982 --> 00:41:34,112 When Gabriel blows o'er sea and river 517 00:41:34,187 --> 00:41:38,357 Fen and desert mount and ford 518 00:41:38,425 --> 00:41:44,725 The earth will burn but we will quiver 519 00:41:45,965 --> 00:41:50,735 Whatever shall we do O Lord 520 00:41:50,804 --> 00:41:55,864 When crops do fail and blossoms wither 521 00:41:55,942 --> 00:42:00,202 God's great wrath be not ignored 522 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:08,320 The earth may fail but we will quiver 523 00:42:08,388 --> 00:42:14,888 Amen 524 00:42:24,671 --> 00:42:30,131 Ye miserable, crawlin'worms. 525 00:42:30,210 --> 00:42:33,810 Are ye here again then? [ Congregation ] Aye. 526 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:37,880 Have ye come like Nimshi, son of Rehoboam, 527 00:42:37,951 --> 00:42:40,211 secretly out of your doomed houses, 528 00:42:40,286 --> 00:42:43,116 to hear what's comin' to ye? 529 00:42:43,189 --> 00:42:46,689 [ All ] Aye. Have ye come, old and young, 530 00:42:46,759 --> 00:42:51,259 sick and well, matrons and virgins-- 531 00:42:51,331 --> 00:42:54,421 if there be any virgins amongst you, which is not likely, 532 00:42:54,501 --> 00:42:57,331 the world being in the wicked state that it is. 533 00:42:57,403 --> 00:43:00,593 Aye. Have ye come to hear me tell ye... 534 00:43:00,673 --> 00:43:06,333 of the great crimson, licking fames of hell fire? 535 00:43:06,412 --> 00:43:08,902 [ All ] Aye! Aye! 536 00:43:08,982 --> 00:43:12,612 You've come, dozens of ye, 537 00:43:12,685 --> 00:43:17,985 like rats to the granary, like field mice when there's harvest home. 538 00:43:18,057 --> 00:43:21,117 And what good will it do ye? 539 00:43:21,194 --> 00:43:23,594 You're all damned! 540 00:43:23,663 --> 00:43:26,633 - [ Congregation Shuddering ] - [ Amos ] Damned! 541 00:43:26,699 --> 00:43:30,569 Do you ever stop to think what that word means? 542 00:43:30,637 --> 00:43:34,037 [ Congregation ] No-o-o-o. No,you don't. It means... 543 00:43:34,107 --> 00:43:37,207 endless, horrifying torment. 544 00:43:37,277 --> 00:43:41,777 It means your poor, sinful bodies stretched out on red-hot gridirons... 545 00:43:41,848 --> 00:43:44,288 in the nethermost fiery pit of hell... 546 00:43:44,350 --> 00:43:49,290 and those demons mocking ye while they waves cooling jellies... 547 00:43:49,355 --> 00:43:51,285 in front of ye. 548 00:43:55,395 --> 00:43:59,295 You know what it's like when you burn your hand... 549 00:43:59,365 --> 00:44:01,835 takin' a cake out of the oven... 550 00:44:01,901 --> 00:44:04,521 or lighting one of them Godless cigarettes? 551 00:44:04,604 --> 00:44:08,694 And it stings with a fearful pain. Aye? 552 00:44:08,775 --> 00:44:13,905 And you run to clap a bit of butter on it to take the pain away, aye? 553 00:44:13,980 --> 00:44:16,150 Aye. Well, I'll tell ye. 554 00:44:16,216 --> 00:44:21,676 - There'll be no butter in hell! - No! 555 00:44:21,754 --> 00:44:24,384 And your body will be burnin'and stingin' with that terrible pain! 556 00:44:24,457 --> 00:44:27,617 And your blackened tongue will be stickin' out of your mouth, 557 00:44:27,694 --> 00:44:31,654 and your parched lips will be cryin'out for-- 558 00:44:31,731 --> 00:44:34,461 [ Sermon Continues, Indistinct ] 559 00:44:40,540 --> 00:44:43,600 Cakes and an orange with sugar on it. Thank you. 560 00:44:53,453 --> 00:44:56,443 Ah, Miss Poste! May I join you? 561 00:44:56,522 --> 00:44:59,612 Mr. Mybug. I suppose so. Meyerburg. 562 00:44:59,692 --> 00:45:02,662 I'll have what she's having, please. Very well, sir. 563 00:45:02,729 --> 00:45:06,259 I do love eating with a spoon, don't you? 564 00:45:06,332 --> 00:45:09,822 Now, Miss Poste, perhaps you can help me on a matter that's been troubling me. 565 00:45:09,902 --> 00:45:13,062 Do you believe that women have souls? 566 00:45:13,139 --> 00:45:15,539 I'm afraid I'm not very interested. Quite. 567 00:45:15,608 --> 00:45:19,978 I do so agree. Bodies matter so much more than souls, don't you think? 568 00:45:20,046 --> 00:45:24,506 Or are you, alas, like so many young Englishwomen, a prisoner of outdated inhibitions? 569 00:45:24,584 --> 00:45:28,954 Do you know what D.H. Lawrence said? I do, actually, yes. 570 00:45:29,022 --> 00:45:34,282 He said there must always be a dark, dumb, bitter belly tension... 571 00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:36,300 between the living man and the living woman. 572 00:45:36,362 --> 00:45:39,592 Mr. Mybug, do tell me about the book you're writing. Ah. 573 00:45:39,666 --> 00:45:41,596 Excuse me, sir. Well-- Thank you. 574 00:45:41,668 --> 00:45:43,968 Thank you, sir. I intend to prove... 575 00:45:44,037 --> 00:45:47,477 that Branwell Bronte wrote Wuthering Heights... 576 00:45:47,540 --> 00:45:52,040 and 'Jane Eyre' and The Tenant of Wildfell Hall. 577 00:45:52,111 --> 00:45:54,601 A work of fiction, is it? 578 00:45:54,681 --> 00:45:58,411 Yes, well, that's enough about me. Tell me, Miss Poste, do you care about walking? 579 00:45:58,484 --> 00:46:01,354 What about it? I thought we might take some nature walks together, 580 00:46:01,421 --> 00:46:04,381 go on discussing art and literature like this. 581 00:46:04,457 --> 00:46:06,617 But I'd better warn you. I'm pretty susceptible. 582 00:46:06,859 --> 00:46:10,199 Well, then, perhaps we should postpone the walks until the weather's finer. 583 00:46:10,263 --> 00:46:13,423 It would be too bad if your book was held up because you'd caught a cold. 584 00:46:13,499 --> 00:46:17,699 I'm talking about sex, Miss Poste! Yes. You see, I believe in utter frankness... 585 00:46:17,770 --> 00:46:19,710 about sexual things. 586 00:46:19,772 --> 00:46:23,032 Aye, ye fornicators. Fornicators! 587 00:46:23,109 --> 00:46:28,479 [ Stammering ] No, I assure you, Miss Poste and I are just old friends. 588 00:46:28,548 --> 00:46:31,608 - We met in London. - Oh, aye, the devil's city. 589 00:46:31,684 --> 00:46:35,344 The stinkin' pit of whoredom. Come on, young lady. 590 00:46:35,421 --> 00:46:37,541 It's back to Cold Comfort for you! 591 00:46:46,265 --> 00:46:51,035 Ye'll fritter and fry. Ye didn't even stay to hear the Lord's Word. 592 00:46:51,104 --> 00:46:54,904 I was overwhelmed, Cousin. You're such a powerful preacher. 593 00:46:54,974 --> 00:46:58,344 Aye, the Word burns in me mouth, 594 00:46:58,411 --> 00:47:01,641 and I must blow it on the whole world like fames. 595 00:47:01,714 --> 00:47:07,114 You ought to do it more widely, Cousin Amos. What do ye mean? 596 00:47:07,186 --> 00:47:10,626 You shouldn't waste it on a few miserable sinners in Beershorn. 597 00:47:10,690 --> 00:47:14,460 You could go round the country in a Ford van preaching on market days. 598 00:47:14,527 --> 00:47:17,257 'Twould be exalting meself and puffin' meself up... 599 00:47:17,330 --> 00:47:20,030 if I went around in one of they vans. 600 00:47:20,099 --> 00:47:23,399 Thinkin' of my glory 'stead of the Lord's. 601 00:47:23,469 --> 00:47:27,709 You could save thousands of souls. That's how I'd look at it... 602 00:47:27,774 --> 00:47:30,604 if I were going round the country in a Ford van. 603 00:47:33,679 --> 00:47:36,019 What kind of Ford van? 604 00:47:55,234 --> 00:47:59,674 Has she been askin' about me, Robert Poste's child? What does she want? 605 00:47:59,739 --> 00:48:03,079 She's been here more than a week. She keeps askin' to see you, Mother. 606 00:48:03,142 --> 00:48:05,162 Couldn't you come down just once and talk to her? 607 00:48:05,244 --> 00:48:10,514 You know I never come down except for the countin', not after what happened to me. 608 00:48:10,583 --> 00:48:13,643 She's Robert Poste's child. She has her rights. 609 00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:16,889 Saw something nasty in the woodshed. 610 00:48:16,956 --> 00:48:19,356 I never spoke of it, not even to Mama. 611 00:48:19,425 --> 00:48:24,695 But I've always remembered it every day of my life. It's made me the way I am. 612 00:48:24,764 --> 00:48:28,464 Yes, Mother. It's the farm she wants, isn't it? 613 00:48:28,534 --> 00:48:31,794 She's your sister's grandchild. She's owed-- She's owed nothin: 614 00:48:31,871 --> 00:48:36,101 She should never have come here. She's playin' her wiles on all of you. 615 00:48:36,175 --> 00:48:39,945 I've watched her. Reuben, Seth, now Amos. 616 00:48:40,012 --> 00:48:43,462 I'm not havin' it, girl. There've always been Starkadders... 617 00:48:43,549 --> 00:48:46,849 at Cold Comfort Farm. At Cold Comfort Farm. Yes, Mother, don't upset yourself. 618 00:48:46,919 --> 00:48:50,449 Starkadders! Always were, always will be. 619 00:48:50,523 --> 00:48:55,113 Tell her, girl. Tell her! Hear what I said? Starkadders! 620 00:50:22,481 --> 00:50:26,811 Adam, you're not using that nice dish mop I bought you for the clettering. 621 00:50:26,886 --> 00:50:32,556 Nay. I'd never put that pretty in gurt-greasy washing-up water. 622 00:50:32,625 --> 00:50:36,565 I mun do that with thorn twigs. They'll serve. 623 00:50:39,031 --> 00:50:41,961 'Tis prettier than apple bloom, my little mop. 624 00:50:44,937 --> 00:50:47,997 Is something wrong, Adam? 625 00:50:48,074 --> 00:50:51,094 'Tis my little wennit. What's the matter with her? 626 00:50:51,177 --> 00:50:54,167 She's always peerin' through the windows up Howchiker Hall... 627 00:50:54,246 --> 00:50:57,376 to get a sight of that young chuck-stubbard Master Richard. 628 00:50:57,450 --> 00:51:00,790 Dick Hawk-Monitor? Arr! Blast him... 629 00:51:00,853 --> 00:51:03,683 for a setup yearlin' of a womanizer. 630 00:51:03,756 --> 00:51:05,886 Oh, I hear he's nice enough. 631 00:51:05,958 --> 00:51:08,928 You knows the ways of gentry. 632 00:51:08,995 --> 00:51:13,935 Him the young squire and her just a little wennit out of nature. 633 00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:17,030 Indeed I do know the ways of gentry. 634 00:51:17,103 --> 00:51:19,433 I'm sure he means no harm. 635 00:51:19,505 --> 00:51:23,095 The problem is, Elfine's not quite the sort gentry marry. 636 00:51:23,175 --> 00:51:27,005 'Tis what I mean. Leave it to me, Adam. I'll talk to her. 637 00:51:29,248 --> 00:51:31,618 Poor little wennit. 638 00:51:33,185 --> 00:51:37,055 Sister Sun and Brother Wind, 639 00:51:37,123 --> 00:51:40,583 dancin' through the woodland trees, 640 00:51:40,660 --> 00:51:43,430 this little ode to you I sing... 641 00:51:43,496 --> 00:51:45,966 and whisper it upon the breeze. 642 00:51:46,032 --> 00:51:49,262 Really, Elfine, don't you think you sometimes overdo it a bit? 643 00:51:49,335 --> 00:51:51,995 Overdo what? This will-o'-the-wisp thing. 644 00:51:52,071 --> 00:51:54,001 Who encouraged you to be like that? 645 00:51:54,073 --> 00:51:56,433 Miss Ashford from the Arts and Crafts Shop in Beershorn. 646 00:51:56,509 --> 00:51:59,849 She was so kind to me. She taught me such a lot: 647 00:51:59,912 --> 00:52:03,432 how to dress, how to speak beautifully. 648 00:52:03,516 --> 00:52:05,986 And she had such lovely things. 649 00:52:06,052 --> 00:52:07,982 And she made you read poetry. Mmm. 650 00:52:08,054 --> 00:52:11,454 Write it, too, probably. Yes. I'm going to publish a volume when I'm 50. 651 00:52:11,524 --> 00:52:14,494 Oh. And that's why you have to be alone on the hillsides, is it? 652 00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:18,430 Yes. It's where I can be with my poetry and my dreams. 653 00:52:20,332 --> 00:52:24,262 Anyway, I can't stand the farm another minute. Why not? 654 00:52:24,336 --> 00:52:27,396 Urk, of course. He's horrible. 655 00:52:27,473 --> 00:52:30,993 He's always in the tree outside my window, spying on me. 656 00:52:31,077 --> 00:52:35,307 Mmm. Grandma Doom says I'm promised to marry him when I'm 18. 657 00:52:35,381 --> 00:52:38,311 Oh, no! Why? Because he's a Starkadder. 658 00:52:38,384 --> 00:52:42,474 And there have always been Starkadders at Cold Comfort Farm. 659 00:52:42,555 --> 00:52:45,075 But there's someone else, isn't there? 660 00:52:45,157 --> 00:52:48,457 How did you know? There always is. 661 00:52:48,527 --> 00:52:52,057 Dick Hawk-Monitor at the Hall? Yes? 662 00:52:52,131 --> 00:52:56,221 Are you engaged to him? Engaged? No. 663 00:52:56,302 --> 00:52:58,862 No, it's-- It's too binding. 664 00:52:58,938 --> 00:53:02,238 Mmm. Don't you think it's horrible to bind someone down? 665 00:53:02,308 --> 00:53:07,978 I see. So he doesn't want to marry you. 666 00:53:08,047 --> 00:53:11,017 Oh, I think he does sometimes, 667 00:53:11,083 --> 00:53:13,073 but he's got this London cousin called Pamela. 668 00:53:13,152 --> 00:53:16,882 It's his 21st birthday party next month. They're bound to get engaged then. 669 00:53:16,956 --> 00:53:20,046 Next month? Well, then, it's quite simple. 670 00:53:20,126 --> 00:53:22,616 You must go to this party and win him over. 671 00:53:22,795 --> 00:53:26,755 I can't go to the party. Grandma Doom doesn't let us accept invitations. 672 00:53:26,832 --> 00:53:29,562 Only to funerals and the churchin' of women. 673 00:53:29,635 --> 00:53:34,095 Look! There he is! Isn't he fine? 674 00:53:34,173 --> 00:53:37,333 [ Flora ] Yes. He should suit you very nicely. 675 00:53:37,409 --> 00:53:39,809 Would you like me to help you? 676 00:54:01,767 --> 00:54:04,467 Reuben. Miss Poste. 677 00:54:06,205 --> 00:54:08,635 Goin' to church again with the old devil? No. 678 00:54:08,707 --> 00:54:13,477 I was advising Cousin Amos to address his sermons to a wider audience. 679 00:54:13,546 --> 00:54:16,176 Wants to frighten the birds off the trees, does he? 680 00:54:16,248 --> 00:54:19,478 Think about it, Reuben. If he were away preaching, 681 00:54:19,552 --> 00:54:21,882 someone else would need to take charge of the farm. 682 00:54:21,954 --> 00:54:25,114 And so I'll have to one day, when the old devil dies. 683 00:54:25,191 --> 00:54:27,281 But he talks of leaving it to Adam. 684 00:54:27,359 --> 00:54:30,659 Wouldn't it be better if whoever took charge got a real grip on things... 685 00:54:30,729 --> 00:54:35,259 so when Cousin Amos came back, he could see it ought to be left to that person? 686 00:54:35,334 --> 00:54:38,064 Oh, I get it. Meaning you. 687 00:54:38,137 --> 00:54:43,547 No, Reuben, I've told you before, I don't want the farm. Meanin'who, then? 688 00:54:43,609 --> 00:54:46,339 Meaning you, Reuben. 689 00:54:46,412 --> 00:54:49,072 Who, me? Aye, thee. 690 00:54:50,783 --> 00:54:52,713 Ah, 'tis impossible. 691 00:54:52,785 --> 00:54:55,255 Aunt Ada'll never let him go. 692 00:54:57,223 --> 00:55:01,453 If anyone talks o' leavin', she has an attack. 693 00:55:01,527 --> 00:55:04,357 She's ill. How does it show? 694 00:55:04,430 --> 00:55:06,630 Oh, has to know everythin' as goes on. 695 00:55:06,699 --> 00:55:09,929 Has to see the milk book, chicken book, cow book. 696 00:55:10,002 --> 00:55:12,192 We keeps back the books, she has an attack. 697 00:55:12,271 --> 00:55:15,131 We ask for pocket money, she has an attack. 698 00:55:15,207 --> 00:55:17,647 Anyone wants to wed, she has an attack. 699 00:55:17,710 --> 00:55:20,080 Anyone want to leave Cold Comfort-- 700 00:55:29,889 --> 00:55:33,119 She ain't like other people's grandmothers. 701 00:55:33,192 --> 00:55:35,552 She's mad, and that's all. 702 00:55:35,628 --> 00:55:41,068 I see. Well,just because Aunt Ada is mad, 703 00:55:41,133 --> 00:55:44,933 that's no reason why you shouldn't persuade Amos to go on his preaching tour. 704 00:55:50,609 --> 00:55:52,639 Dang me if it don't. 705 00:56:07,927 --> 00:56:10,587 Aunt Ada, isn't it time we talked? 706 00:56:10,663 --> 00:56:14,023 I saw something nasty. Saw something nasty! 707 00:56:14,099 --> 00:56:17,769 Aunt Ada! Something nasty in the woodshed. 708 00:56:17,836 --> 00:56:20,496 Go away, girl! [ Sighs ] 709 00:56:20,572 --> 00:56:22,802 How long have you been in there, Aunt Ada? 710 00:56:25,444 --> 00:56:28,434 Ever since myJudith married Amos. 711 00:56:28,514 --> 00:56:31,004 Isn't it lonely? Lonely? 712 00:56:31,083 --> 00:56:35,643 I saw something nasty in the woodshed. Did you? What? 713 00:56:35,721 --> 00:56:39,011 I don't remember anymore. I was little. 714 00:56:40,225 --> 00:56:42,625 Something terrible! 715 00:56:42,695 --> 00:56:45,855 And it was in the woodshed? Are you sure? 716 00:56:45,931 --> 00:56:47,861 Course I'm sure. 717 00:56:51,236 --> 00:56:55,366 Or maybe the potting shed. Or the bicycle shed. 718 00:56:55,441 --> 00:56:57,491 Or the tool shed. 719 00:56:57,576 --> 00:57:01,206 All these years, getting five good meals a day, 720 00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:04,010 running the farm, ruling the roost, everyone doing... 721 00:57:04,083 --> 00:57:07,743 exactly as you say and sacrificing their lives to yours? 722 00:57:07,820 --> 00:57:12,520 That's not bad, is it, just for seeing something nasty in the woodshed? 723 00:57:12,591 --> 00:57:15,551 Everything depends on me. 724 00:57:17,096 --> 00:57:19,026 Does it? 725 00:57:30,009 --> 00:57:31,949 [ Geese Honking ] 726 00:57:41,020 --> 00:57:42,960 The bull's out. 727 00:57:44,156 --> 00:57:46,126 Big Business? [ Flora ] Is that bad? 728 00:57:46,191 --> 00:57:48,811 That's terrible. Someone'll get hurt. Urk, get the bull fork. 729 00:57:48,894 --> 00:57:50,824 Adam, come on! Bull's out! Where's Seth? 730 00:57:50,896 --> 00:57:52,956 Dang Seth! Come on! All right! 731 00:57:53,032 --> 00:57:55,152 Somethin' to do with you, isn't it? Why me, Urk? 732 00:57:55,234 --> 00:57:58,204 I know you're tryin' to take Elfine away from me. She's mine. 733 00:57:58,270 --> 00:58:01,710 She were promised me the day she was born. You heed what I say. 734 00:58:01,774 --> 00:58:04,504 [ Amos ] Urk! When the water-voles mate this summer, she be mine. 735 00:58:04,576 --> 00:58:07,046 Better hurry, Urk. The bull's out. 736 00:58:07,112 --> 00:58:11,372 [ Indistinct Shout ] Come on! 737 00:58:11,450 --> 00:58:13,390 [ Clucking ] 738 00:58:14,420 --> 00:58:16,360 No, boy! Come on, boy! 739 00:58:16,422 --> 00:58:18,412 [ Bull Bellowing ] [ Yelling ] 740 00:58:30,836 --> 00:58:32,766 [ Whispering ] Elfine! 741 00:58:55,394 --> 00:58:57,554 Whoa. 742 00:59:14,146 --> 00:59:18,046 Voila. No, no. Low here? 743 00:59:18,117 --> 00:59:21,147 [ Murmuring ] [ Murmuring In French ] 744 00:59:21,220 --> 00:59:24,560 [ Mary ] Oh, that's lovely. Yes, that's it. 745 00:59:24,623 --> 00:59:26,953 You happy, darling? Yes, I think that's sweet. 746 00:59:27,025 --> 00:59:29,425 Right here. [ Murmuring ] 747 00:59:32,464 --> 00:59:35,054 Round neck, I think. 748 00:59:35,134 --> 00:59:38,764 [ Mary ] Yes, I think a small train. And then somewhere here, 749 00:59:38,837 --> 00:59:40,997 we're needing a bit of uplift, I think. 750 00:59:43,041 --> 00:59:48,841 Here we have a prime example of Ecole de Paris painting. He's also very keen... 751 00:59:48,914 --> 00:59:53,114 on the whole calligraphic effect of his painting, the very linear quality of it. 752 00:59:53,185 --> 00:59:55,115 Always with his work, you find-- 753 00:59:59,992 --> 01:00:03,052 Flora, what do you think? No, please, look at this. 754 01:00:03,128 --> 01:00:06,098 Higher Common Sense. Very good. Very clever. 755 01:00:06,165 --> 01:00:09,155 Especially the introduction. [ Cork Popping ] 756 01:00:14,173 --> 01:00:17,533 That's for you. Oh, thank you. 757 01:00:19,278 --> 01:00:23,008 I think she's charming. Wait 'til we've finished. 758 01:00:23,081 --> 01:00:25,511 Do you like your new dress, Elfine? Oh, it's heavenly. 759 01:00:25,584 --> 01:00:28,914 It's white satin, straight lines. Better than poetry? 760 01:00:28,987 --> 01:00:31,547 Do explain to her about poetry, Mary. 761 01:00:31,623 --> 01:00:35,083 Do I gather that you love poetry and think that if you talk about it... 762 01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:37,760 to a young man like Dick Hawk-Monitor, he'll be pleased? 763 01:00:37,829 --> 01:00:41,699 - Everybody loves poetry. - [ Mary ] Most decent young men are totally alarmed... 764 01:00:41,767 --> 01:00:45,227 when they hear that a girl reads it, let alone writes it. 765 01:00:45,304 --> 01:00:48,534 Tell her, Charles. Dick Hawk - Monitor's a perfectly nice chap. 766 01:00:48,607 --> 01:00:52,067 - You know him? - Of course. And his mother. Rather well, actually. 767 01:00:52,144 --> 01:00:54,074 But poetry and Dick-- 768 01:00:54,146 --> 01:00:57,776 No, quite frankly. In fact, when poetry's combined... 769 01:00:57,849 --> 01:01:01,549 with ill-groomed hair and eccentric dress, it's generally fatal. 770 01:01:01,620 --> 01:01:04,750 You're very lucky, Elfine. He must have seen your finer points. 771 01:01:04,823 --> 01:01:08,313 I shall write it secretly then. Quite right. 772 01:01:08,393 --> 01:01:13,593 It's bad to be dewy-eyed among smart people, but you can always secretly despise them. 773 01:01:13,665 --> 01:01:17,995 You see, Elfine, we tell you these things so you'll have some standards inside yourself, 774 01:01:18,070 --> 01:01:21,670 now you're going to meet a new kind of life. 775 01:01:24,943 --> 01:01:28,033 [ Flora ] Everything arranged, Charles? Absolutely. 776 01:01:28,113 --> 01:01:31,043 What's arranged? [ Flora ] Never mind. 777 01:01:31,116 --> 01:01:33,606 Charles is going to help. I said I might. 778 01:01:33,685 --> 01:01:36,275 Who's this man Mybug? 779 01:01:36,355 --> 01:01:39,285 Oh,just a strange Lawrentian person who says he's in love with me. 780 01:01:39,358 --> 01:01:41,628 [ Mary ] Jealous, Charles? 781 01:01:42,694 --> 01:01:46,154 Good. Enjoying yourself, Elfine? 782 01:01:46,231 --> 01:01:49,751 Oh, it's going to be such fun. No, it's going to be... 783 01:01:49,835 --> 01:01:53,865 ''amusing'' or ''diverting,'' not ''such fun,'' darling. 784 01:02:03,649 --> 01:02:05,589 Hi there, Flora Poste. 785 01:02:05,651 --> 01:02:08,941 Mr. Neck! Hello! Back on one of your London trips? 786 01:02:09,021 --> 01:02:11,381 Yeah, I few into the Savoy this morning. 787 01:02:11,456 --> 01:02:15,916 This is Earl P. Neck, the Hollywood movie czar. We met at the Paris Film Club. 788 01:02:15,994 --> 01:02:17,964 My friend Mary Smiling. 789 01:02:18,030 --> 01:02:20,940 Mary! [ Flora ] Elfine. 790 01:02:20,999 --> 01:02:22,939 Elfine! 791 01:02:23,001 --> 01:02:24,931 Charles. Charles. 792 01:02:25,003 --> 01:02:27,993 [ Mary ] Won't you join us? Thank you, thank you. 793 01:02:28,073 --> 01:02:30,543 Tell me, Mr. Neck, 794 01:02:30,609 --> 01:02:33,079 what exactly does a czar do? 795 01:02:33,145 --> 01:02:35,305 [ Laughing ] What do I do? 796 01:02:35,380 --> 01:02:38,750 Imagine the night sky. What do you see? 797 01:02:40,619 --> 01:02:42,989 - Clouds? - You see stars. 798 01:02:43,055 --> 01:02:45,755 And what you see up there, I spot down here. 799 01:02:45,824 --> 01:02:49,524 I take ordinary people, and I turn 'em into asteroids. 800 01:02:49,594 --> 01:02:52,184 [ Mary ] Flora does the same. This is her latest. 801 01:02:52,264 --> 01:02:57,704 Oh, she's wonderful! And so are you, Miss Poste. You care to rumba? 802 01:03:22,494 --> 01:03:25,184 Smythe-Forsythes. h - huh. 803 01:03:25,263 --> 01:03:28,563 Smith-Jones, Clyde-Forresters. 804 01:03:28,633 --> 01:03:32,433 Miss Gertrude Forster. Oh, those unfortunate Field-Morrisons. 805 01:03:32,504 --> 01:03:35,874 Oh. Oh! Oh, and I've invited Pamela's parents. 806 01:03:35,941 --> 01:03:39,961 Just in case there's a double celebration. Mother! 807 01:03:59,598 --> 01:04:03,898 Oh, Flora, I feel sick. You can't feel sick. Everything's arranged. 808 01:04:05,537 --> 01:04:07,477 [ Bell Ringing ] 809 01:04:09,875 --> 01:04:12,505 Is Urk out the way? Saw him down Ticklepenny Corner, 810 01:04:12,577 --> 01:04:14,517 talkin' to the water-voles. 811 01:04:27,092 --> 01:04:29,052 [ Cow Bellowing ] 812 01:04:29,127 --> 01:04:31,927 I say, this is all awfully Gothic, isn't it? 813 01:04:31,997 --> 01:04:35,657 You do look extremely nice, Flora. The dress is charming. 814 01:04:35,734 --> 01:04:38,364 And as for your protege, she's quite beautiful. Don't chatter, Charles. 815 01:04:38,437 --> 01:04:40,427 Just drive quietly off. 816 01:04:40,505 --> 01:04:43,165 Oh. Oh, I say. 817 01:04:57,055 --> 01:04:59,285 [ Mrs. Hawk - Monitor ] Roger! How lovely to see you. 818 01:04:59,357 --> 01:05:02,917 Oh, my dear, what a beautiful dress! Have a lovely time. 819 01:05:02,994 --> 01:05:08,024 James! How lovely to see you. Hello,Jane. How are you? 820 01:05:08,099 --> 01:05:12,269 Have fun. Charles! All the way from London. 821 01:05:12,337 --> 01:05:15,897 You didn't travel up with Pamela, by any chance. Afraid not, Mrs. Hawk-Monitor. 822 01:05:15,974 --> 01:05:19,344 May I introduce Flora Poste? She's staying locally, actually. 823 01:05:19,411 --> 01:05:23,001 Oh, what a shame, Miss Poste. We haven't seen anything of you. Where are you staying? 824 01:05:23,081 --> 01:05:26,771 I'm just staying a few miles up the road with relatives. It's my first evening out. 825 01:05:26,852 --> 01:05:28,812 Oh. Well, have a lovely evening. Thanks very much. 826 01:05:28,887 --> 01:05:31,757 All right, thank you. Good evening. Who's that? 827 01:05:54,045 --> 01:05:56,845 Elfine. You look incredible. 828 01:06:11,763 --> 01:06:15,423 Is it working? I should say so. 829 01:06:38,023 --> 01:06:41,253 I must go downstairs. Oh, Mother. 830 01:06:41,326 --> 01:06:46,056 You're mistaken. 'Tis not the first of May nor the seventeenth of October. 831 01:06:46,131 --> 01:06:49,061 You bide here. I tell you I must go downstairs. 832 01:06:49,134 --> 01:06:53,164 I must have you all round me. I must have all the Starkadders round me. 833 01:06:53,238 --> 01:06:56,208 To see if anyone's missing. Nobody's missing, Mother. 834 01:06:56,274 --> 01:07:01,374 Get me my liberty bodice, girl. And the elastic-sided boots. 835 01:07:19,898 --> 01:07:24,098 I hope you're not feeling neglected, Seth. No, I aren't. 836 01:07:24,169 --> 01:07:28,939 London girls. Them told me I was absolutely body - thrillin: 837 01:07:29,007 --> 01:07:32,997 So you are, Seth. They're all the same. 838 01:07:33,078 --> 01:07:36,108 Only want your blood, your breath, the very heart of your thoughts. 839 01:07:36,181 --> 01:07:39,841 I ain't got no time for that. What have you got time for, Seth? 840 01:07:39,918 --> 01:07:44,358 Movies. There was a dance just like this in 'Criminal Lusts'. 841 01:07:45,857 --> 01:07:47,797 Shall we try it then? 842 01:08:13,084 --> 01:08:16,514 Miss Poste. Miss Poste! 843 01:08:16,588 --> 01:08:19,488 I love you! Miss Poste! 844 01:08:26,131 --> 01:08:28,121 You do enjoy yourself, don't you? 845 01:08:28,199 --> 01:08:30,669 I try to bring people round to the higher common sense. 846 01:08:30,735 --> 01:08:34,065 Oh, I shouldn't let you do that to me. Think of all the good I do. 847 01:08:34,139 --> 01:08:37,809 Elfine's the belle of the ball. Dick has the girl he wants. 848 01:08:37,876 --> 01:08:40,816 Seth's enjoying himself teasing all the London debutantes. 849 01:08:40,879 --> 01:08:42,869 And you're having a lovely time with me. 850 01:08:42,947 --> 01:08:45,347 Take your disgusting bourgeois hands off me! 851 01:08:45,417 --> 01:08:48,477 Miss Poste! Miss Poste! Tell them who I am! 852 01:08:48,553 --> 01:08:51,283 - He's Mr. Mybug, a famous writer. - I'm sorry, miss. 853 01:08:51,356 --> 01:08:54,296 This is a private party. Come on, sir. Miss Poste! Miss Poste! 854 01:08:54,359 --> 01:08:56,629 I'm engorgingly in love with you! 855 01:08:58,797 --> 01:09:01,897 I can't help feeling a bit sorry for him. 856 01:09:01,966 --> 01:09:04,866 Never mind. We're all purified by suffering. 857 01:09:04,936 --> 01:09:09,836 He's so obnoxious. I haven't the heart to tell him that's why I won't let him kiss me. 858 01:09:09,908 --> 01:09:15,038 He thinks I'm inhibited. I'm not, of course. I'm not obnoxious. 859 01:09:15,113 --> 01:09:19,133 No, Charles. Exactly. Speech! Speech! 860 01:09:19,217 --> 01:09:21,187 Speech! 861 01:09:22,454 --> 01:09:25,654 Ladies and gentlemen, friends, 862 01:09:25,724 --> 01:09:28,284 Lord Lieutenant, 863 01:09:28,359 --> 01:09:30,729 I'm really glad you could all come to my 21st. 864 01:09:30,795 --> 01:09:32,765 [ Guests Murmuring ] 865 01:09:32,831 --> 01:09:36,661 Mama hasn't thrown a bash for me like this since I was wearing a christening dress. 866 01:09:36,735 --> 01:09:41,005 [ Laughter ] 867 01:09:41,072 --> 01:09:46,372 - Anyway, this has been a particularly fine evening. - [ Guests ] Hear, hear! 868 01:09:46,444 --> 01:09:48,434 No, I mean for me. 869 01:09:48,513 --> 01:09:51,943 Because, well, I've something to tell you all. 870 01:09:53,952 --> 01:09:58,042 Miss Elfine Starkadder and I have just become engaged. 871 01:09:58,123 --> 01:10:00,683 - Elfine? - [ Guests Gasping, Murmuring ] 872 01:10:00,759 --> 01:10:03,629 [ Applause ] 873 01:10:03,695 --> 01:10:06,455 [ Orchestra ] 874 01:10:07,832 --> 01:10:11,022 For they are jolly good fellows 875 01:10:11,102 --> 01:10:13,692 For they are jolly good fellows 876 01:10:13,772 --> 01:10:17,432 For they are jolly good fellows 877 01:10:17,509 --> 01:10:20,309 And so say all of us 878 01:10:20,378 --> 01:10:24,818 And so say all of us And so say all of us 879 01:10:24,883 --> 01:10:28,013 For they are jolly good fellows 880 01:10:28,086 --> 01:10:30,646 For they are jolly good fellows 881 01:10:30,722 --> 01:10:34,882 For they are jolly good fellows 882 01:10:34,959 --> 01:10:37,629 And so say all of us 883 01:10:37,695 --> 01:10:40,785 [ Laughter, Applause ] 884 01:10:44,769 --> 01:10:48,329 It was wonderful, Flora! The happiest night of my life! 885 01:10:48,406 --> 01:10:52,206 Yes, a brilliant evening, Flora. Congratulations, Elfine. 886 01:10:52,277 --> 01:10:55,077 Just better hope Grandma don't stop it now, eh? 887 01:11:05,390 --> 01:11:08,190 [ Charles ] I thought you told me they'd all be in bed. 888 01:11:08,259 --> 01:11:10,199 It's Grandma. She's come downstairs. 889 01:11:10,261 --> 01:11:13,121 I reckon she's holding a countin'. What counting? 890 01:11:14,899 --> 01:11:19,099 We a rum lot, us Starkadders. Some of us goes barmy. 891 01:11:19,170 --> 01:11:23,410 Some of us dies in childhood. Some of us pushes others down wells. 892 01:11:23,474 --> 01:11:28,434 So once a year, Grandma holds a little gatherin'... called the countin'. 893 01:11:28,513 --> 01:11:31,673 She must be doin'it early for some reason. 894 01:11:34,752 --> 01:11:37,272 Charles, thank you. 895 01:11:39,157 --> 01:11:41,987 Come back to London with me. No, Charles. 896 01:11:42,060 --> 01:11:44,000 It's not finished yet. 897 01:11:45,597 --> 01:11:47,687 I say, Flora. 898 01:11:47,765 --> 01:11:50,495 When am I going to get a look in? 899 01:12:05,049 --> 01:12:09,889 'Twas a burnin'noonday 69 year ago, 900 01:12:09,954 --> 01:12:12,314 and me no bigger than a titty wren. 901 01:12:13,458 --> 01:12:15,588 And I saw something nasty... 902 01:12:15,660 --> 01:12:17,690 in the woodshed. In the woodshed. 903 01:12:17,762 --> 01:12:22,722 You're all wicked and cruel. I know you all want to go away... 904 01:12:22,800 --> 01:12:24,740 and leave me with what I saw. 905 01:12:24,802 --> 01:12:26,762 But there've always been Starkadders... 906 01:12:26,838 --> 01:12:29,168 at Cold Comfort Farm. At Cold Comfort Farm. 907 01:12:29,240 --> 01:12:32,270 And you'll never go, none of you. 908 01:12:32,343 --> 01:12:34,273 [ Door Opening ] 909 01:12:42,153 --> 01:12:45,553 [ Flora ] Well, well, the gang's all here, isn't it? 910 01:12:46,824 --> 01:12:48,814 I don't suppose there are any sandwiches. 911 01:12:48,893 --> 01:12:52,523 Who's that there then? It's Robert Poste's child. 912 01:12:52,597 --> 01:12:55,587 Come and meet your Aunt Ada Doom. 913 01:12:58,870 --> 01:13:01,570 How do you do, Aunt Ada? 914 01:13:01,639 --> 01:13:05,839 Look who's come to see you, Mother. It's Flora Poste. 915 01:13:05,910 --> 01:13:09,940 I saw something nasty in the woodshed. 916 01:13:10,014 --> 01:13:14,144 There've always been Starkadders at Cold Comfort Farm. At Cold Comfort Farm. 917 01:13:15,520 --> 01:13:17,520 You'll stay here, all of you. 918 01:13:17,588 --> 01:13:22,088 Amos and Judith, Seth and Reuben, Urk and Elfine. 919 01:13:22,160 --> 01:13:25,500 - And Rennet. - Who's Rennet? 920 01:13:25,563 --> 01:13:29,463 The one who looks as if she just jumped in the well. She's a kind of third cousin, we think. 921 01:13:29,534 --> 01:13:32,094 [ Tapping ] 922 01:13:33,771 --> 01:13:36,171 It's time to hold the countin'. 923 01:13:50,088 --> 01:13:52,028 Where's my Seth? 924 01:13:52,090 --> 01:13:54,030 Here I be. Ah. 925 01:13:55,727 --> 01:14:00,127 - I'll never leave you, Grandma. - Aye,you're my mommet, my pippet. 926 01:14:00,198 --> 01:14:02,758 The Lord sees your lascivious glances. 927 01:14:02,834 --> 01:14:06,494 But how grand he is tonight. And Elfine. 928 01:14:06,571 --> 01:14:09,531 Dressed up like a proper little lady. 929 01:14:09,607 --> 01:14:14,277 What's all this? What you been doin', boy? Tell your granny. 930 01:14:16,748 --> 01:14:20,708 He's been to a dance at the Hawk-Monitors. So have I. 931 01:14:20,785 --> 01:14:24,015 So has Elfine. And what's more, Aunt Ada, 932 01:14:24,088 --> 01:14:27,118 Elfine and Richard Hawk-Monitor are engaged to be married a month from now. 933 01:14:27,191 --> 01:14:31,251 - No! My little water-vole! My little water-vole! - Hey! Hey! Hey! 934 01:14:31,329 --> 01:14:35,059 She b'ain't worth it. She b'ain't worth nothin'. I'll go mad! 935 01:14:35,133 --> 01:14:38,063 Elfine was promised to Urk when she was born. 936 01:14:38,136 --> 01:14:42,096 Amos,you're the man here. Tell them what their duty is. 937 01:14:42,173 --> 01:14:45,473 I've got somethin' to say, Mother. 938 01:14:45,543 --> 01:14:49,843 I been wrestlin' and prayin' and broodin' over it, 939 01:14:49,914 --> 01:14:53,144 and I know the Lord's truth at last. 940 01:14:54,318 --> 01:14:58,378 I mun go abroad in one of they Ford vans, 941 01:14:58,456 --> 01:15:01,156 preachin' all over the countryside. 942 01:15:01,225 --> 01:15:04,685 Aye, like the apostles of old. 943 01:15:04,762 --> 01:15:08,392 I've heard my call, and I mun follow it. 944 01:15:08,466 --> 01:15:12,926 No,you don't! No one can leave me! 945 01:15:13,004 --> 01:15:18,204 I shall go mad and die alone in the woodshed with nasty things pressin' on me! 946 01:15:18,276 --> 01:15:20,536 She'll go mad! You strike and torment me all you want. 947 01:15:20,611 --> 01:15:24,671 I hear the glad voices of the angels callin' me... 948 01:15:24,749 --> 01:15:27,239 over the ploughed fields, 949 01:15:27,318 --> 01:15:30,448 and the little seedlings is clapping their hands in prayer. 950 01:15:30,521 --> 01:15:32,481 'Tis good-bye to ye all. 951 01:15:32,557 --> 01:15:35,117 I've broken your chains at last, Mother, 952 01:15:35,193 --> 01:15:38,993 with the help of the angels and the Lord's Word. 953 01:15:39,063 --> 01:15:41,393 [ Sighs ] Where's me hat? 954 01:15:41,466 --> 01:15:44,696 No, Amos! What shall become of us? 955 01:15:44,769 --> 01:15:47,639 The Lord will provide. 956 01:15:47,705 --> 01:15:50,135 Or not, according to His whim. 957 01:15:50,208 --> 01:15:52,908 I'll send you a card from where I'm going. 958 01:15:52,977 --> 01:15:55,607 I shall go mad, Amos. I promise you. 959 01:15:55,680 --> 01:15:58,620 I'm sorry, Mother. The Lord's will. 960 01:16:00,651 --> 01:16:02,611 [ Wailing ] 961 01:16:02,687 --> 01:16:05,487 We're doomed! [ Door Slamming ] 962 01:16:05,556 --> 01:16:09,716 Urk, Elfine's yours. Promised the day she was born. 963 01:16:09,794 --> 01:16:12,094 You take her back, boy. 964 01:16:12,163 --> 01:16:15,823 Urk, she just b'ain't worth it. No, she b'ain't. 965 01:16:15,900 --> 01:16:19,640 'Ave me instead. Don't you have him, ducky, 'less you feels like it. 966 01:16:19,704 --> 01:16:23,934 I can always make him wash a bit, if I feels like it. 967 01:16:26,043 --> 01:16:29,563 Urk! Come on, me beauty. 968 01:16:29,647 --> 01:16:33,017 - Dirt as ye are, we'll sink into the mire together. - Urk, wait. Don't you go too. 969 01:16:33,084 --> 01:16:36,844 - I shall go mad, I tell you. - [ Meriam Laughing, Squealing ] 970 01:16:36,921 --> 01:16:40,181 I expect there'll be another little Beetle soon, now the sukebind's fowerin'. 971 01:16:40,258 --> 01:16:44,058 [ Door Slamming ] Amos gone, Urk gone. 972 01:16:45,463 --> 01:16:49,123 I'm all alone. All alone in the woodshed. 973 01:16:51,369 --> 01:16:53,859 And who took them away? 974 01:16:55,740 --> 01:16:58,800 It was you, wasn't it? 975 01:16:58,876 --> 01:17:02,336 You chit! You scheming brat! 976 01:17:02,413 --> 01:17:05,543 It was you, Robert Poste's child! 977 01:17:05,616 --> 01:17:09,276 You poured poison into their ears! 978 01:17:09,353 --> 01:17:11,613 Come on. Sit down. Come on. 979 01:17:21,399 --> 01:17:23,999 They're all gone, 980 01:17:24,068 --> 01:17:28,508 and I saw something nasty in the woodshed. 981 01:17:28,573 --> 01:17:30,663 Don't worry, Grandma. I'm still here. 982 01:17:30,741 --> 01:17:34,831 You'll break our hearts, too, you Libertine. I know it. 983 01:17:34,912 --> 01:17:38,812 Come along, Miss Poste. 'Tis time you were in bed. 984 01:17:41,886 --> 01:17:44,876 Thank you, Reuben. You're an utter lamb. 985 01:17:44,956 --> 01:17:47,826 Ah, you got the old devil out o' the way. 986 01:17:47,892 --> 01:17:50,912 Farm'll be mine now, won't it? 987 01:17:50,995 --> 01:17:55,025 I don't forget, Miss Poste. Yes, of course, Reuben. 988 01:17:55,099 --> 01:17:57,039 Good night. 989 01:18:36,173 --> 01:18:39,103 [ Cow Moos ] 990 01:18:51,222 --> 01:18:54,672 Mr. Neck! Mr. Neck! 991 01:18:54,759 --> 01:18:58,129 Mr. Neck! 992 01:18:58,195 --> 01:19:02,095 Is the, uh, House of Usher open? May I come in? 993 01:19:02,166 --> 01:19:06,266 Mr. Neck, how wonderful to see you. I'll come down. 994 01:19:09,640 --> 01:19:12,200 [ Flora ] Well, Mr. Neck, Mary said in her last letter... 995 01:19:12,276 --> 01:19:14,706 that you were still looking for English film stars. 996 01:19:14,779 --> 01:19:19,119 Sure am, but I don't want sissies. Sissies give me a pain in the neck. 997 01:19:19,183 --> 01:19:23,203 They're starting to give the goddamn American public a pain in the neck too. 998 01:19:23,287 --> 01:19:26,227 Believe me, it's red meat time in movies. 999 01:19:26,290 --> 01:19:29,230 Well, there's plenty of red meat at Cold Comfort Farm. 1000 01:19:29,293 --> 01:19:32,883 You mean someone like TeckJones? Yeah. Teck's a good kid. 1001 01:19:32,963 --> 01:19:36,153 He can ride all right, but he's got no body urge. 1002 01:19:36,233 --> 01:19:38,793 I want a man to fetch the women. 1003 01:19:38,869 --> 01:19:42,139 Some big, husky guy that smells of the great outdoors. 1004 01:19:42,206 --> 01:19:45,696 A guy who can live and love and still handle a plough. 1005 01:19:45,776 --> 01:19:48,036 You mean like Slake Fountain? 1006 01:19:48,112 --> 01:19:52,372 Sure, but it takes 20 guys to pull a bottle off him before he gets on set. 1007 01:19:52,450 --> 01:19:55,220 [ Sniffing ] 1008 01:19:57,555 --> 01:20:01,655 That's it! Hold it there. Who are you, son? 1009 01:20:01,726 --> 01:20:05,856 Oh, Seth, there you are. This is my cousin Seth Starkadder. 1010 01:20:05,930 --> 01:20:10,230 He's very interested in the talkies. Mr. Neck is a film producer. 1011 01:20:10,301 --> 01:20:14,701 Seth... Starkadder! Hit 'em right with it, eh? 1012 01:20:14,772 --> 01:20:18,672 [ Chuckling ] So you're a fan, sweetheart? 1013 01:20:18,743 --> 01:20:21,733 You and me should get acquainted, huh? 1014 01:20:21,812 --> 01:20:26,712 Maybe you've thought of being in the movies yourself. What if I have? 1015 01:20:26,784 --> 01:20:29,654 [ Cow Bellows ] 1016 01:20:29,720 --> 01:20:32,660 He's got the fesh. He's got the burr in his voice. 1017 01:20:32,723 --> 01:20:34,713 And he can plow and mollock. 1018 01:20:34,792 --> 01:20:37,522 I got the what? You just got the big offer, son. 1019 01:20:37,595 --> 01:20:41,585 How would you like to be in the movies, Seth Starkadder? 1020 01:20:41,665 --> 01:20:43,925 I'd like it more than anything else in the world. 1021 01:20:44,001 --> 01:20:48,401 Ain't that dandy! He wants to be a movie star, and I wanna make him one! 1022 01:20:48,472 --> 01:20:51,532 Seth, no! You can't leave your mother! 1023 01:20:51,609 --> 01:20:54,339 You mustn't go! Oh, I knew it! 1024 01:20:54,412 --> 01:20:58,002 I knew it would come to this! [ Sobbing ] Got to go, Mother. 1025 01:20:58,082 --> 01:21:00,482 It's what I were always made for. 1026 01:21:00,551 --> 01:21:03,171 God, he's terrific! 1027 01:21:03,254 --> 01:21:07,014 Gee, ma'am, I know it's raw, I know it's tough, but that's life, sweetheart. 1028 01:21:07,091 --> 01:21:09,781 Go on, get your coat, boy. Time to be off! 1029 01:21:09,860 --> 01:21:12,200 We take the Transatlantic Clipper in the morning. 1030 01:21:12,263 --> 01:21:14,693 You can't do this to me. You can't leave your mother. 1031 01:21:14,765 --> 01:21:16,955 There's a spring onion harvest! 1032 01:21:17,034 --> 01:21:20,964 'Tis man's work! Oh, Seth, no! 1033 01:21:21,038 --> 01:21:23,668 I'm a dead woman! 1034 01:21:23,741 --> 01:21:26,401 I'd take her, too, but she's gloomy. 1035 01:21:26,477 --> 01:21:30,977 Look, Mama, he'll be fine. I got the perfect part. 1036 01:21:31,048 --> 01:21:33,648 Seth Starkadder in 'Small Town Cowboy'. 1037 01:21:33,717 --> 01:21:37,277 He'll send you five grand from the movie, and you'll be mama to a star. 1038 01:21:37,354 --> 01:21:40,374 [ Wailing ] 1039 01:21:40,458 --> 01:21:43,658 [ Chickens Clucking, Squawking ] 1040 01:21:46,297 --> 01:21:50,237 Good-bye, Mr. Neck. I'm sure we'll meet again in London. I look forward to it. 1041 01:21:50,301 --> 01:21:53,961 And thanks for the boy. He's quite a find. 1042 01:21:54,038 --> 01:21:56,438 [Judith ] Mother! Mother! Come on down! 1043 01:21:56,507 --> 01:21:58,947 Mother, he's taking my Seth! 1044 01:21:59,009 --> 01:22:00,539 No! Oh, Seth! 1045 01:22:00,611 --> 01:22:03,401 Oh, Mercy! It's Great - Aunt Ada. 1046 01:22:03,481 --> 01:22:05,671 Seth! You'd better hurry and go. 1047 01:22:05,749 --> 01:22:08,979 Don't leave me! No! I forbid it! 1048 01:22:09,053 --> 01:22:12,453 I saw something nasty in the woodshed. 1049 01:22:12,523 --> 01:22:16,653 - Sure, you did, but did it see you, baby? - [ Cow Moos ] 1050 01:22:16,727 --> 01:22:19,717 Come on, Seth! Hollywood's waiting. 1051 01:22:19,797 --> 01:22:23,127 [''Tara's Theme''] 1052 01:22:27,204 --> 01:22:30,104 Oh, Seth. 1053 01:22:30,174 --> 01:22:32,194 [ Continues ] 1054 01:22:34,411 --> 01:22:36,901 [ Inhales Loudly ] 1055 01:22:40,851 --> 01:22:43,971 - [ Ignition Starts ] - Seth, you can't leave us! 1056 01:22:44,054 --> 01:22:46,544 You mustn't go! [ Seth ] Good - bye, Mother. 1057 01:22:46,624 --> 01:22:48,424 Oh, Seth! 1058 01:22:48,492 --> 01:22:50,422 Seth! 1059 01:22:50,494 --> 01:22:52,894 Seth! Seth! 1060 01:22:55,266 --> 01:22:58,166 [ Sobbing ] I'm a dead woman. 1061 01:22:58,235 --> 01:23:00,635 [ Geese Honking ] 1062 01:23:31,468 --> 01:23:33,408 [ Blows ] 1063 01:23:41,545 --> 01:23:43,515 [ Spits ] 1064 01:23:43,581 --> 01:23:45,601 [ Grunts ] [ Piglets Squealing ] 1065 01:23:45,683 --> 01:23:48,043 Drive a plough 1066 01:23:48,118 --> 01:23:50,958 Or milk a cow 1067 01:23:51,021 --> 01:23:53,451 Oh, I can reap and mow 1068 01:23:54,625 --> 01:23:57,925 I'm as fresh as a daisy 1069 01:23:57,995 --> 01:24:00,985 That grows in the field [ Lowing ] 1070 01:24:01,065 --> 01:24:03,495 [ Bell Jangles ] And they calls I 1071 01:24:03,567 --> 01:24:05,467 Buttercup Joe 1072 01:24:20,884 --> 01:24:24,644 [ Pigs Squealing ] 1073 01:24:24,722 --> 01:24:27,212 [ Chuckles ] Yeah, well, 1074 01:24:27,291 --> 01:24:29,811 place looks a lot better, eh, Miss Poste? 1075 01:24:29,893 --> 01:24:33,483 Much better, Reuben. I knew you were the one to take charge. 1076 01:24:33,564 --> 01:24:36,764 Yeah. Should please the old devil when he comes back, eh? 1077 01:24:36,834 --> 01:24:40,494 I don't think he is coming back. I had a card today. 1078 01:24:43,173 --> 01:24:47,403 ''Praise the Lord. I go to spread the Word among the heathen Americans... 1079 01:24:47,478 --> 01:24:51,318 ''with the Reverend Elderberry Shiftglass of Chicago. 1080 01:24:51,382 --> 01:24:55,782 Tell Reuben he can have the old place. Amos Starkadder.'' 1081 01:25:00,491 --> 01:25:03,651 Have the place? What, it's mine? 1082 01:25:03,727 --> 01:25:07,327 One day. When the old lady-- 1083 01:25:07,398 --> 01:25:12,338 Oh, Cousin Flora, 'twere a good day when ye came to Cold Comfort. 1084 01:25:14,938 --> 01:25:17,208 Here, 1085 01:25:17,274 --> 01:25:20,504 I don't suppose you'd marry me? 1086 01:25:20,577 --> 01:25:24,417 Oh, Reuben, that is nice of you. 1087 01:25:24,481 --> 01:25:27,411 Oh, I mean it, Miss Poste. I like your pretty ways. 1088 01:25:27,484 --> 01:25:31,244 I like yours, too, but I'm afraid it would never do. 1089 01:25:31,321 --> 01:25:34,581 I'm not at all the sort of person to make a good farmer's wife. 1090 01:25:34,658 --> 01:25:38,058 And there's enough marriage just now with Elfine's wedding coming up. 1091 01:25:38,128 --> 01:25:42,468 She all right up at the Hall? She loves it, and they love her. 1092 01:25:42,533 --> 01:25:45,333 They ought to have the wedding feast here at Cold Comfort, 1093 01:25:45,402 --> 01:25:47,662 now you've made it so nice. 1094 01:25:47,738 --> 01:25:50,438 You'll have to ask Aunt Ada. 1095 01:25:50,507 --> 01:25:54,137 Yes, I suppose I will. But you wouldn't mind? 1096 01:25:54,211 --> 01:25:57,141 Oh, no, not at all. No. 1097 01:25:57,214 --> 01:25:59,804 That were a no, by the way, were it? 1098 01:25:59,883 --> 01:26:03,873 Yes, it were no. You'll find someone. 1099 01:26:03,954 --> 01:26:06,354 What about Rennet? Oh! 1100 01:26:06,423 --> 01:26:10,383 [ Chuckling ] No one in their right mind would marry Rennet. 1101 01:26:10,461 --> 01:26:13,751 [ Chuckling ] But I'll find someone. 1102 01:26:25,743 --> 01:26:28,833 Aunt Ada? I've brought your lunch. May I come in? 1103 01:26:28,912 --> 01:26:32,342 Who's there? It's Flora, Robert Poste's child. 1104 01:26:43,927 --> 01:26:47,527 [ Laughing, Chattering ] 1105 01:26:48,699 --> 01:26:51,469 [ Muffled Chatter ] 1106 01:26:51,535 --> 01:26:55,565 I don't know if there's enough money for-- [ Laughing ] Yeah! 1107 01:26:55,639 --> 01:26:58,339 Oh, dang me! 1108 01:27:15,993 --> 01:27:18,353 What's going on? No supper? 1109 01:27:18,428 --> 01:27:21,088 I didn't like to make supper, Master Reuben. 1110 01:27:21,165 --> 01:27:25,265 Miss Poste went to see the old lady at noon and hasn't come back down. 1111 01:27:25,335 --> 01:27:28,265 They been talkin' all day. 1112 01:27:28,338 --> 01:27:32,208 Maybe I ought to take up some sandwiches and cocoa. No, no, Mrs. Beetle. 1113 01:27:32,276 --> 01:27:35,336 Better let 'em be. Miss Poste knows what she's doin'. 1114 01:27:35,412 --> 01:27:37,842 Something terrible'll come of it. 1115 01:27:39,850 --> 01:27:42,620 What's happened? Is she all right, the old lady? 1116 01:27:42,686 --> 01:27:45,086 She's absolutely fine. I've just put her to bed. 1117 01:27:45,155 --> 01:27:48,285 [ Shouts ] What? 1118 01:27:57,434 --> 01:28:00,064 [ Birds Chirping ] 1119 01:28:07,010 --> 01:28:10,710 How's that, Miss Poste? Pretty, isn't it? Lovely, Urk. 1120 01:28:10,781 --> 01:28:13,941 Could you fetch the men? I want to set up the tables for the feast-- 1121 01:28:14,017 --> 01:28:16,957 one for the farmers, one for the county. 1122 01:28:17,020 --> 01:28:19,460 [ Chattering In Distance ] 1123 01:28:19,523 --> 01:28:22,883 [ Mrs. Beetle ] Oh! Give us your toes. 1124 01:28:22,960 --> 01:28:25,730 That's it. Whew! 1125 01:28:27,364 --> 01:28:30,024 Ah! 1126 01:28:30,100 --> 01:28:33,040 [ Rapid Stirring ] 1127 01:28:37,674 --> 01:28:40,474 [ Stirring Continues ] 1128 01:28:49,553 --> 01:28:51,983 Come on, Rennet, stir that dough! 1129 01:28:52,055 --> 01:28:54,985 Don't want 'em eating their wedding breakfast a week after the nuptials, do we? 1130 01:28:55,058 --> 01:28:58,548 Who would've thought it? My little wennet. [ Rapid Stirring ] 1131 01:28:58,629 --> 01:29:03,969 The seed to the fower, the fower to the fruit, the fruit to the belly. 1132 01:29:04,034 --> 01:29:07,964 Urk, Grandma Doom's chair, could you find it and put it out for me? 1133 01:29:08,038 --> 01:29:11,378 She only uses that for the countin'. Just find it, please. 1134 01:29:12,743 --> 01:29:17,003 Rennet, here's a hat for you to wear to the church. 1135 01:29:18,448 --> 01:29:20,888 Oh, Cousin Flora, do you mind? 1136 01:29:20,951 --> 01:29:23,741 I ain't used to them collars. No, of course, Reuben. 1137 01:29:23,820 --> 01:29:26,260 Sit down. 1138 01:29:26,323 --> 01:29:28,843 [ Stirring Continues ] 1139 01:29:43,373 --> 01:29:45,363 [ Guests Chattering ] Hello! 1140 01:29:45,442 --> 01:29:48,232 Rest in peace, husband mine. [ Church Bells Chiming ] 1141 01:29:48,312 --> 01:29:51,762 Your loving wife won't be far behind. 1142 01:29:51,848 --> 01:29:54,788 [ Bells Continue ] 1143 01:29:57,220 --> 01:30:00,490 Here lies my darling George. 1144 01:30:00,557 --> 01:30:04,327 Whatever shall I do without you come the harvest? 1145 01:30:06,296 --> 01:30:09,566 Cousin Judith, I'd like you to meet Dr. Adolf Mudel from Vienna. 1146 01:30:09,633 --> 01:30:12,103 Leave me to me fate, Robert Poste's child. 1147 01:30:12,169 --> 01:30:15,009 It's a very great pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Starkadder. 1148 01:30:15,072 --> 01:30:18,092 I have heard something of you from Fraulein Poste. 1149 01:30:18,175 --> 01:30:21,575 You must leave me be. I'm a dead woman. 1150 01:30:21,645 --> 01:30:25,375 Now she's safely gathered in, delivered from this life of sin. 1151 01:30:25,449 --> 01:30:28,079 Yes. Well, never mind that now. 1152 01:30:28,151 --> 01:30:31,581 Pouring with rain when your father and I got married. I must go in. 1153 01:30:31,655 --> 01:30:34,175 Yes. Good luck. 1154 01:30:34,257 --> 01:30:36,157 [ Woman Laughing ] Hello. 1155 01:30:36,226 --> 01:30:39,426 Freddie, I wanted to speak to you about those cathedral-- 1156 01:30:39,496 --> 01:30:41,756 It is. Thank goodness. [ Chuckling ] 1157 01:30:41,832 --> 01:30:43,762 Yesterday-- Hey! 1158 01:30:43,834 --> 01:30:46,394 Miss Poste! 1159 01:30:46,470 --> 01:30:48,870 What a marvelous day for a wedding! 1160 01:30:48,939 --> 01:30:52,039 Dr. Mudel, this is Mr. Mybug. Uh, Mybug. 1161 01:30:52,109 --> 01:30:55,009 Dr. Mudel, yes. I know you by reputation, of course. 1162 01:30:55,078 --> 01:30:58,348 We've never actually met. I did attend one of your lectures once. 1163 01:30:58,415 --> 01:31:01,675 Um, ''The Mind At War With Itself.'' Ah, so. 1164 01:31:01,752 --> 01:31:04,942 Weren't you there, too, Miss Poste? Yes, indeed, Mr. Mybug. 1165 01:31:05,022 --> 01:31:08,682 Dr. Mudel, could I ask you to accompany Cousin Judith into the church? 1166 01:31:08,759 --> 01:31:11,199 It will be my pleasure. 1167 01:31:13,363 --> 01:31:17,053 Tell me, do you like old churches? 1168 01:31:17,134 --> 01:31:19,724 Ah! Mr. Mybug, would you excuse me? 1169 01:31:19,803 --> 01:31:22,793 I've spotted someone I simply must talk to. 1170 01:31:22,873 --> 01:31:24,963 [ Bird Cawing ] 1171 01:31:25,042 --> 01:31:28,342 [ Organ ] [ Chattering ] 1172 01:31:33,850 --> 01:31:35,850 Flowers! 1173 01:31:35,919 --> 01:31:39,049 [ Continues ] 1174 01:31:39,122 --> 01:31:42,642 [ Organ Continues ] [ Guests Chattering, Child Crying ] 1175 01:31:44,661 --> 01:31:47,591 [ Chattering Continues Noisily ] [ Woman Laughing ] 1176 01:31:47,664 --> 01:31:50,654 Stop it! 1177 01:31:51,968 --> 01:31:54,808 [ Noisy Chattering, Laughing Continue ] 1178 01:32:07,451 --> 01:32:10,381 [ Organ Continues ] 1179 01:32:23,033 --> 01:32:25,223 Reuben! Do hurry up, Elfine. 1180 01:32:25,302 --> 01:32:28,272 They're all waiting. Oh, you look gorgeous. 1181 01:32:28,338 --> 01:32:31,208 [ Organ Stops ] [ Elfine ] Flora, do I look nice? 1182 01:32:31,274 --> 01:32:34,204 Don't be nervous. [ Organ: ''Wedding March''] 1183 01:32:34,277 --> 01:32:36,647 Reuben, mind me dress. 1184 01:32:46,156 --> 01:32:49,426 - [ Organ Slows ] - My little wennet. 1185 01:32:49,493 --> 01:32:52,423 [ Organ Dies ] Adam! 1186 01:32:52,496 --> 01:32:55,526 Oh! 1187 01:32:55,599 --> 01:32:58,799 [ Resumes ] 1188 01:33:29,065 --> 01:33:31,655 [ Band ] [ Man Muttering ] 1189 01:33:32,936 --> 01:33:35,926 [ Chomping Loudly ] 1190 01:33:36,006 --> 01:33:38,976 [ Guests Chattering, Laughing, Hooting ] 1191 01:34:00,297 --> 01:34:03,097 [ Partyers Hooting, Laughing ] 1192 01:34:04,467 --> 01:34:08,027 [ Continues ] 1193 01:34:15,478 --> 01:34:18,468 Oh, absolutely fascinating. 1194 01:34:18,548 --> 01:34:20,988 [ Moos Loudly ] 1195 01:34:25,121 --> 01:34:27,451 How kind. I don't usually. 1196 01:34:27,524 --> 01:34:30,454 I must say you're looking splendid, Mrs. Beetle. 1197 01:34:30,527 --> 01:34:33,227 Oh, Vicar, thank you! 1198 01:34:33,296 --> 01:34:35,956 - [ Hooting Continues ] - Tell me, my dear, 1199 01:34:36,032 --> 01:34:38,962 you can settle a question that's been puzzling me. 1200 01:34:39,035 --> 01:34:41,365 Do you believe that women have souls? 1201 01:34:46,509 --> 01:34:49,279 A wedding present for ye, maidy. 1202 01:34:49,346 --> 01:34:52,646 A gift for my own wild marsh tigget. 1203 01:34:52,716 --> 01:34:54,976 Oh, Adam, how sweet of you. 1204 01:34:55,051 --> 01:34:57,451 Oh. Oh. 1205 01:34:57,520 --> 01:35:01,760 Put it in thy bosom. It'll make ye bear four children. 1206 01:35:01,825 --> 01:35:04,755 That it will. You'll see. 1207 01:35:12,068 --> 01:35:14,468 I must thank you, Miss Poste. 1208 01:35:14,537 --> 01:35:18,337 Dr. Mudel has asked me to stay with him at his nursing home in London. 1209 01:35:18,408 --> 01:35:22,848 He says I can stay with him for six months and talk to him, play some chess if I like. 1210 01:35:22,912 --> 01:35:26,002 It's my energy, you see. It turns in instead of out. 1211 01:35:26,082 --> 01:35:29,012 He's going to turn it out for me. 1212 01:35:34,457 --> 01:35:36,947 [ Drumroll Continues ] 1213 01:35:37,027 --> 01:35:39,967 [ Band: ''Wedding Processional''] 1214 01:35:42,966 --> 01:35:45,366 [ Guests Chattering ] Grandmama? 1215 01:35:46,870 --> 01:35:49,970 [ Urk ] Aye, 'tis her! [ Meriam ] All dressed up to go out. 1216 01:35:50,040 --> 01:35:52,070 'Tis flying against nature. 1217 01:35:52,142 --> 01:35:56,512 - Look at her! - [ Reuben ] Well, I never. Granny! 1218 01:35:56,579 --> 01:35:59,849 She must've seen some'at nasty in the woodshed. 1219 01:35:59,916 --> 01:36:03,616 [ Applause ] 1220 01:36:09,125 --> 01:36:12,955 Welcome to Cold Comfort Farm. 1221 01:36:13,029 --> 01:36:18,369 -There's always been Starkadders at Cold Comfort Farm. -[ Starkadders ] Aye! 1222 01:36:18,435 --> 01:36:21,595 But it's been some time since we've had a wedding here. 1223 01:36:21,671 --> 01:36:27,041 I must admit that Elfine's wedding has not turned out quite as I'd planned, 1224 01:36:27,110 --> 01:36:31,180 but I've never seen her looking lovelier or more radiant. 1225 01:36:31,247 --> 01:36:33,617 [ Applause ] So-- 1226 01:36:33,683 --> 01:36:36,313 So I give it my blessing. 1227 01:36:36,386 --> 01:36:42,326 My great-niece Flora has told me something very wise. 1228 01:36:42,392 --> 01:36:45,482 What a pleasant life-- 1229 01:36:45,562 --> 01:36:47,752 How'd you put it, dear? 1230 01:36:47,831 --> 01:36:50,261 What a pleasant life might be had in this world... 1231 01:36:50,333 --> 01:36:53,563 by a handsome, sensible old lady of good fortune, 1232 01:36:53,636 --> 01:36:56,576 blessed with a sound constitution and a firm will. 1233 01:36:56,639 --> 01:36:58,799 Jane Austen. Jane Austen. [ Guests ] Aye! 1234 01:36:58,875 --> 01:37:01,135 So I'm taking her advice... 1235 01:37:01,211 --> 01:37:03,871 and leaving for Paris in a few moments. 1236 01:37:03,947 --> 01:37:06,547 - Paris? - [ Car Horn Honking ] 1237 01:37:09,185 --> 01:37:11,555 [ Man ] Oh, good-bye, dear. 1238 01:37:11,621 --> 01:37:14,551 God bless you, mum. [ Ada ] Thank you very much. Thank you. 1239 01:37:14,624 --> 01:37:18,154 Now, remember, when you get to Nice, ask for the Hotel Miramar. 1240 01:37:18,228 --> 01:37:22,358 I will, my dear. I shall do exactly as you advised. 1241 01:37:22,432 --> 01:37:27,302 You won't find me plucking my eyebrows, nor dieting. 1242 01:37:27,370 --> 01:37:30,570 Nor doting on a boy of 25. 1243 01:37:31,875 --> 01:37:34,745 There is just one thing, Aunt Ada, before you go. 1244 01:37:34,811 --> 01:37:39,371 What was the wrong Amos did my father? And what are my rights? 1245 01:37:39,449 --> 01:37:41,749 Well-- Yes, my dear? Aunt Ada. 1246 01:37:41,818 --> 01:37:44,878 Adam wants to come to Hautecouture Hall with us and look after our cows. 1247 01:37:44,954 --> 01:37:46,884 Do you mind? 1248 01:37:46,956 --> 01:37:50,396 Who will care for Feckless, Aimless, Graceless and Pointless? 1249 01:37:50,460 --> 01:37:52,860 Adam, you wouldn't desert them? 1250 01:37:52,929 --> 01:37:55,419 Never, ma'am. Take 'em with me. 1251 01:37:55,498 --> 01:37:58,198 There's room for all at ''Howchiker'' Hall. 1252 01:37:58,268 --> 01:38:02,798 [ Chuckling ] Well, you may take 'em if you want to, Adam. 1253 01:38:02,872 --> 01:38:06,432 Bless ye, Miss Starkadder. You'me a good 'un after all. 1254 01:38:06,509 --> 01:38:09,139 And bless ye, Robert Poste's child. 1255 01:38:09,212 --> 01:38:12,612 You'me lifted the doom from Cold Comfort. 1256 01:38:12,682 --> 01:38:15,982 - Three cheers for Aunt Ada! Hip-hip! - [ All ] Hooray! 1257 01:38:16,052 --> 01:38:18,142 Hip-hip! [ All ] Hooray! 1258 01:38:18,221 --> 01:38:20,581 Hip - hip! Hooray! 1259 01:38:20,657 --> 01:38:24,647 [ All Cheering, Chattering ] 1260 01:38:32,435 --> 01:38:37,775 [ Flora Thinking ] It was the loveliest time of the loveliest day of the year. 1261 01:38:37,841 --> 01:38:41,001 The ermine fowers and silky leaves... 1262 01:38:42,545 --> 01:38:45,605 and... satin leaves... 1263 01:38:45,682 --> 01:38:48,302 [ Thinking ] dazzled against an azure sky. 1264 01:38:48,384 --> 01:38:51,974 The gauze - like shadows crept in... 1265 01:38:52,055 --> 01:38:54,145 stealthily. 1266 01:38:54,224 --> 01:38:57,654 The dreaming birds began their sleep song. 1267 01:38:57,727 --> 01:39:00,027 [ Rattling, Clanking ] Oh. 1268 01:39:00,096 --> 01:39:03,066 [ Cowbells Clanking ] 1269 01:39:05,468 --> 01:39:07,698 Golden orb. 1270 01:39:07,770 --> 01:39:11,040 The golden orb-- 1271 01:39:11,107 --> 01:39:14,477 The golden orb-- [ Plane Engine Humming ] 1272 01:39:14,544 --> 01:39:16,704 [ Sighs ] 1273 01:40:03,126 --> 01:40:06,726 Oh, Charles, you do have heavenly teeth. 1274 01:40:06,796 --> 01:40:09,096 Come on! 1275 01:40:13,803 --> 01:40:16,493 Here, clap that. 1276 01:40:20,343 --> 01:40:24,333 This is forever, isn't it? Oh, yes, forever. 1277 01:40:24,414 --> 01:40:27,474 Now, is it all over, my darling? Yes, Charles. 1278 01:40:27,550 --> 01:40:31,390 I did it all. Very clever. What about the novel? 1279 01:40:31,454 --> 01:40:33,614 To be perfectly honest, 1280 01:40:33,690 --> 01:40:36,360 I don't really think I'm cut out to be a novelist. 1281 01:40:36,426 --> 01:40:39,656 You know, I never did approve of you interfering in other people's lives. 1282 01:40:39,729 --> 01:40:42,669 So I shan't be allowed to interfere in yours? No! 1283 01:40:42,732 --> 01:40:46,492 Of course, you can share it, Flora. In fact, I very much hope you will. 1284 01:40:46,569 --> 01:40:49,099 [ Engine Starts ] 1285 01:40:49,172 --> 01:40:51,792 Charles, I love you! What? 1286 01:40:51,874 --> 01:40:54,504 I love you! 1287 01:41:24,974 --> 01:41:28,674 [ Guests Shouting ] 1288 01:41:28,745 --> 01:41:31,835 Good-bye! 1289 01:41:31,914 --> 01:41:34,044 Flora! [ Sobbing ]