1
00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:03,544
All right.
Check one, check two, boys.
2
00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:04,838
All right, here we go.
3
00:00:06,631 --> 00:00:09,926
♪Well, I pulled on my
Tight blue wranglers♪
4
00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:12,929
♪I pushed up my leather boots♪
5
00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:17,768
♪Splashed on a touch
Of my favorite cologne♪
6
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:23,231
♪I dusted off my hat
And buttoned up my shirt♪
7
00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:26,234
♪And brushed my pearly whites♪
8
00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:30,864
♪I want to be somebody’s someone tonight♪
9
00:00:32,990 --> 00:00:34,618
♪Yeah, I put on my--♪
10
00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:42,918
Hey, now, you are just about the pertiest
thing I’ve seen all day.
11
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:46,045
I hope I’m not interrupting
your sound check.
12
00:00:46,128 --> 00:00:47,463
Marcus Martinez.
13
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,383
Travis Lockhart.
It’s nice to meet you.
14
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:50,425
It’s nice to meet you, too.
15
00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:52,927
So apart from being so sexy,
what do you do for a living?
16
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:54,804
Well, I’m a writer
for Country Bear Magazine,
17
00:00:54,887 --> 00:00:57,223
and we’re looking to make
you next month’s cover story.
18
00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:58,892
Ooh, I like that.
19
00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:00,811
You know, I know a few boys
named Martinez.
20
00:01:00,893 --> 00:01:03,187
- You got any Texas in you?
- Not that I know of.
21
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:04,146
You want some?
22
00:01:11,612 --> 00:01:16,242
♪Where the bears are
We want to be♪
23
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:23,165
SEASON 6
EPISODE 5 KILLER BEAR
24
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:26,628
Clever pick-up line.
25
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:28,881
Hey, baby, city boys got
pick-up lines,
26
00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:31,424
country boys: we got pick-up trucks.
27
00:01:31,507 --> 00:01:32,634
And mine’s got a mattress.
28
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:33,927
Nice.
29
00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:45,104
You know how they say
everything’s bigger in Texas?
30
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,606
I’m about to prove it to you.
31
00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:47,566
Let’s go.
32
00:01:48,816 --> 00:01:51,027
To CHAD
All Clear!
33
00:02:02,371 --> 00:02:03,540
Hey! What are you doing?
34
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:04,625
That’s Travis’s guitar!
35
00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:06,959
Oh! Hey! Hey, Len.
36
00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:09,170
I didn’t know
you’re a bartender here now.
37
00:02:09,253 --> 00:02:12,423
Um, I was, uh, just admiring it
38
00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:15,636
and, uh, hoping to grab
an afternoon cocktail.
39
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:18,180
Uh, we’re not open yet.
40
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,640
Oh, that’s a shame.
41
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:22,808
I was hoping to wet my whistle
with a hot stud like you.
42
00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:26,437
I guess I could make
an exception.
43
00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,105
What’s your pleasure?
44
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:31,151
A cold beer
and servicing sexy bears.
45
00:02:38,824 --> 00:02:39,825
There you go.
46
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,873
I never knew
you were attracted to me.
47
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:49,418
You want to do it here, now?
48
00:02:50,169 --> 00:02:51,337
Yeah, yeah.
49
00:02:52,713 --> 00:02:54,591
I better go lock
the front door...
50
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,386
No. I like the danger of it.
51
00:02:57,468 --> 00:02:58,637
Okay.
52
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:00,639
Here.
53
00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:04,810
Wow, you know, I’ve always
thought you were hot,
54
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,770
but what about your husband?
55
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,356
Shh, don’t speak, don’t speak.
56
00:03:09,438 --> 00:03:11,149
Here, put this on.
57
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:14,277
Oh, I don’t know.
58
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,237
Do you want me to suck
that dick dry or what?
59
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:17,865
Oh, I do! I do!
60
00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:19,867
Okay.
61
00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:21,284
- You can’t see anything, right?
- No.
62
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,286
- You’re good.
- Uh-huh.
63
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:23,912
All right,
I’m going to go grab my beer.
64
00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:25,747
- You stay like this, okay?
- Okay.
65
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:26,747
Oh, baby, I can’t wait.
66
00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:29,042
This is going to be
the best blowjob of your life.
67
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:31,211
We’re going to have so much fun.
68
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:34,463
I can’t wait to get my mouth
on that sweet cock.
69
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,966
Here I come.
70
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,264
Are-Are you there?
71
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,977
- Did you get it?
- It’s in the trunk.
72
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,061
Awesome.
73
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,105
Travis’ ex-boyfriend gets his
guitar back,
74
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,522
and we get a big fat check.
75
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:52,900
Babe, with this job,
76
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:55,444
it brings this month’s earnings
up to nine grand.
77
00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:58,237
If we stay this busy, we’ll have
to hire some office help.
78
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,240
By the way, was he that good?
79
00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:02,534
- Who?
- The ginger klepto cowboy.
80
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,203
You haven’t stopped
grinning since you got out here.
81
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,079
I’m not grinning.
82
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,957
You were always a sucker for a
sweet white boy in blue jeans.
83
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,542
Oh! Well…
84
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,294
I married you, didn’t I?
85
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:13,837
Don’t be jealous.
86
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,632
It’s not my fault that our client
has a thing for Latin guys.
87
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:17,715
And for what it’s worth,
88
00:04:17,798 --> 00:04:20,676
we never even made it
past first base, I swear.
89
00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,680
What? You don’t believe me?
90
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,932
Sure I do, babe.
91
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,893
By the way,
your fly is still open.
92
00:04:34,690 --> 00:04:36,526
Peter Piper picked a peck
of pickled pepper.
93
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,362
A peck of pickled
pepper Peter Piper picked.
94
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:40,906
Sally sells seashells
by the seashore.
95
00:04:40,988 --> 00:04:42,907
- Nelson, I’d like you to meet--
- Hey, Reggie, Reggie.
96
00:04:42,990 --> 00:04:44,492
I’m fine
with you visiting the set,
97
00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,995
but you’ve got to have
a little respect for my craft!
98
00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:49,997
This is a critical moment
for me, preparing to do a scene!
99
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,459
I don’t have time
to meet your latest hook-up!
100
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:54,252
Forgive him, Mr. Dorkoff.
101
00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:55,838
He just knows
that I would travel
102
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:59,632
through a hot desert for days
without a camel or water
103
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:03,136
just to witness one
of your great performances.
104
00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,264
Nelson Dorkoff, nice to meet you.
105
00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:07,139
Prince Omar Al-Fayeed.
106
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:08,432
I recently had the pleasure
107
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,101
of sitting next
to Benedict Cumberbatch
108
00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:11,435
at a Washington State Dinner.
109
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:14,105
I asked him
who his acting influences were.
110
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:16,149
He said “The three D’s.
111
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:18,735
De Niro, Depp...
112
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:20,778
and Dorkoff.”
113
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,781
Shut up.
114
00:05:22,865 --> 00:05:25,492
I thought you said the prince
hated Nelson’s acting.
115
00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:28,370
Yes, but we are
guests in your country,
116
00:05:28,452 --> 00:05:30,162
and there is
a long standing tradition
117
00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:33,208
in our culture
to never insult your hosts.
118
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:34,959
Plus, he’s lying.
119
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,713
Here’s your prop gun, Nelson.
We’re just about ready for you.
120
00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:38,838
Scram, Kenny.
121
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:41,508
Can’t you tell
I’m entertaining a VIP guest?
122
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,342
That gun looks real.
123
00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:46,972
Oh, it’s not. It’s just a fake
prop gun with blanks.
124
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,307
Here, see for yourself.
125
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,725
What else did Benedict say
about me?
126
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,311
Well, you know,
I’m crazy about him.
127
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:53,478
He's wonderful.
128
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:54,730
Really, a terrific actor,
129
00:05:54,812 --> 00:06:00,401
but I think I would’ve been
a little better as Dr. Strange.
130
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:05,949
Freeze!
131
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,451
Don’t worry, Cody,
backup’s on the way.
132
00:06:10,077 --> 00:06:11,996
We both know you’re not going
to shoot me.
133
00:06:12,079 --> 00:06:14,750
You’re still the big pussy
you were since the sixth grade!
134
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,376
How could you?
135
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,669
How could you rape
all those high school boys?
136
00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:21,006
Harvey, we were friends.
137
00:06:21,088 --> 00:06:22,798
I thought I knew you!
138
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:26,719
How on Earth did you become
such a monster?
139
00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:28,387
That was very nice of you
140
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:31,057
to build up Nelson’s confidence
before his big scene.
141
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,768
I did it for you.
142
00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:34,685
I mean, he’s your friend.
143
00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:36,979
I would do anything
to see that beautiful smile.
144
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:39,106
Don’t come any closer!
145
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:40,691
Go ahead, shoot me, Otis!
146
00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:42,319
I’ll be with you forever!
147
00:06:42,401 --> 00:06:44,779
I’ll be with you in
your nightmares for all time!
148
00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:46,322
(gun fires)
149
00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:49,742
Oh, God!
150
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:52,246
Oh, no!
151
00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:55,624
Oh, God!
152
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:59,460
- And... cut!
- Brilliant!
153
00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:01,463
- Thank you, thank you.
- Good job.
154
00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:03,131
I was talking about Toby, you turd.
155
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,048
What?
156
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,716
- What? You can’t be serious?
- I am.
157
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,969
Oh, come on.
That was the most overbearing,
158
00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:11,223
unbelievable death scene
I’ve ever seen in my life!
159
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:14,767
Hey, I’ve been accused of being
a ham before, but please!
160
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,602
Toby hands down wins
161
00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:19,146
the Most Over
the Top Performance of the Year!
162
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,692
Hey, hey, asshole.
You can get up now!
163
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:23,651
- Come on, Toby.
- Toby!
164
00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:27,905
Toby?
165
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:30,117
Oh, my God,
he’s really been shot!
166
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,913
He’s dead. Toby’s dead.
167
00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:45,424
♪Where the bears are
We want to be♪
168
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:48,009
♪Where the bears are
Where the bears are♪