1
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:12,480
- BREAKFAST!
- HI, I'M TEDDY DUNCAN,

2
00:00:12,483 --> 00:00:14,753
REPORTING LIVE
FROM THE KITCHEN
WHERE, ONCE AGAIN,

3
00:00:14,745 --> 00:00:18,045
MOM HAS TAKEN
AN INNOCENT PANCAKE
AND DESTROYED IT.

4
00:00:18,049 --> 00:00:19,489
YOUR THOUGHTS?

5
00:00:19,490 --> 00:00:21,690
WHY ARE YOU INSULTING ME
INTO A FORK?

6
00:00:21,692 --> 00:00:24,562
I'M JOINING THE SOUTH HIGH
ACTION NEWS TEAM.

7
00:00:24,555 --> 00:00:27,655
- TODAY'S THE FIRST MEETING.
- OH, THAT IS SO EXCITING!

8
00:00:27,658 --> 00:00:29,728
YOU KNOW, TEDDY,
WHEN I WAS REPORTING
FOR THE--

9
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,560
Kids:
SOUTHWEST DENVER COMMUNITY
COLLEGE TV NEWS.

10
00:00:32,563 --> 00:00:36,173
OH, HOW FUNNY.
HEH HEH.

11
00:00:36,167 --> 00:00:38,367
- GUESS I MUST HAVE--
- Kids: MENTIONED THAT BEFORE.

12
00:00:38,369 --> 00:00:40,809
ANYWAY,
WHEN I WAS REPORTING,

13
00:00:40,811 --> 00:00:42,571
I HAD THIS REALLY CUTE
CATCHPHRASE.

14
00:00:42,573 --> 00:00:44,183
IT WENT A LITTLE SOMETHING
LIKE THIS:

15
00:00:44,175 --> 00:00:46,675
I'M AMY BLANKENHOOPER,
GETTIN' ALL UP IN YOUR NEWS.

16
00:00:46,677 --> 00:00:48,147
( all snap fingers )

17
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,320
MORNING.

18
00:00:51,322 --> 00:00:55,632
OOH, PANCAKES.
YAY.

19
00:00:55,626 --> 00:00:57,156
( clunking )

20
00:00:57,158 --> 00:01:00,058
UH, MAYBE I'LL
PICK UP SOMETHING
ON THE WAY TO WORK.

21
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:04,640
WHEN HE WON'T EAT IT,
THAT'S A BAD PANCAKE.

22
00:01:04,635 --> 00:01:07,265
HAS ANYONE SEEN MY BOOTS?

23
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:08,698
LOOKS LIKE CHARLIE HAS.

24
00:01:08,699 --> 00:01:11,539
-( all laughing )
- Amy:THAT'S ADORABLE!

25
00:01:11,542 --> 00:01:14,452
MISS DUNCAN, ARE YOU AWARE
THAT DAD SOMETIMES

26
00:01:14,445 --> 00:01:16,575
HAS TO POUR SWEAT
OUT OF THOSE BOOTS?

27
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,477
EW.

28
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:21,209
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES.

29
00:01:21,212 --> 00:01:23,152
- THIS IS TEDDY DUNCAN--
- AND AMY DUNCAN...

30
00:01:23,154 --> 00:01:25,524
- MOM, IT'S A FORK.
- ...GETTIN' ALL UP
IN YOUR NEWS.

31
00:01:26,817 --> 00:01:29,757
( rock music playing )

32
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,560
♪ TODAY'S ALL BURNT TOAST ♪

33
00:01:31,562 --> 00:01:33,322
♪ RUNNING LATE
AND DAD JOKES ♪

34
00:01:33,324 --> 00:01:36,204
♪ "HAS ANYBODY
SEEN MY LEFT SHOE?" ♪

35
00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:38,097
♪ I CLOSE MY EYES,
TAKE A BITE ♪

36
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,498
♪ GRAB A RIDE,
LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪

37
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,500
♪ THERE IT IS
UP ON THE ROOF ♪

38
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,213
♪ I'VE BEEN THERE,
I SURVIVED ♪

39
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:49,377
♪ SO JUST TAKE
MY ADVICE ♪

40
00:01:49,380 --> 00:01:51,380
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪

41
00:01:51,382 --> 00:01:52,882
♪ THINGS ARE CRAZY ♪

42
00:01:52,883 --> 00:01:55,753
♪ BUT I KNOW
YOUR FUTURE'S BRIGHT ♪

43
00:01:55,746 --> 00:01:57,586
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY ♪

44
00:01:57,588 --> 00:01:59,388
♪ THERE'S NO MAYBE ♪

45
00:01:59,390 --> 00:02:02,320
♪ EVERYTHING
TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT ♪

46
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:04,563
♪ SURE LIFE
IS UP AND DOWN ♪

47
00:02:04,555 --> 00:02:08,455
♪ BUT TRUST ME,
IT COMES BACK AROUND ♪

48
00:02:08,459 --> 00:02:12,399
♪ YOU'RE GONNA LOVE
WHO YOU TURN OUT TO BE ♪

49
00:02:13,404 --> 00:02:16,344
♪ HANG IN THERE, BABY. ♪

50
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:24,382
( bell rings )

51
00:02:27,418 --> 00:02:29,348
OH, HEY, SIS.
YOU WANT TO SIT TOGETHER?

52
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:30,920
YEAH SURE, I'D LOVE TO.

53
00:02:30,921 --> 00:02:33,921
( both laugh )

54
00:02:33,924 --> 00:02:36,364
- OH, IT NEVER GETS OLD.
- YEAH.

55
00:02:37,428 --> 00:02:40,658
OH, WAIT.
IS THAT DUSTIN REESE?

56
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,431
Teddy:
WHO'S DUSTIN REESE?

57
00:02:42,433 --> 00:02:44,743
WE WENT TO KINDERGARTEN
TOGETHER.

58
00:02:44,735 --> 00:02:48,665
BACK THEN HE HAD
A PONYTAIL UNTIL...

59
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,669
( snips )

60
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,776
WHY'D YOU CUT OFF
HIS PONYTAIL?

61
00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,478
IT WAS MY FIRST DAY
WITH SCISSORS.

62
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,310
I HAD EATEN A DOUGHNUT.
I WAS OUT OF MY MIND.

63
00:03:02,313 --> 00:03:05,623
- SO DO YOU THINK
- I HOPE NOT. YOU?

64
00:03:07,458 --> 00:03:09,458
WELL, HERE HE COMES.

65
00:03:13,224 --> 00:03:15,874
WHAT-- YOU COULD HAVE
JUST TURNED AROUND.

66
00:03:15,866 --> 00:03:17,396
EH.

67
00:03:24,435 --> 00:03:26,435
OKAY, EVERYONE,
WELCOME TO THE SOUTH HIGH

68
00:03:26,437 --> 00:03:29,737
ACTION NEWS TEAM,
OR SHANT.

69
00:03:31,682 --> 00:03:34,552
ANYWAY, I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE
FOR POSTPONING THE MEETING.

70
00:03:34,545 --> 00:03:37,685
AS YOU KNOW, I FELL
OFF MY BIKE... AGAIN.

71
00:03:37,688 --> 00:03:39,718
- ( giggling )
- WHO LAUGHED?

72
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,790
ME. I WAS THINKING
ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.

73
00:03:42,793 --> 00:03:45,833
- AND WHAT WAS THAT?
- THE FIRST TIME YOU FELL
OFF YOUR BIKE.

74
00:03:46,997 --> 00:03:49,397
MOVING ON.

75
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:50,860
ALL RIGHT, ONE OF YOU

76
00:03:50,861 --> 00:03:52,861
IS GOING TO HAVE
A BIG OPPORTUNITY.

77
00:03:52,863 --> 00:03:55,243
THE CHANNEL 8 NEWS
IS LOOKING FOR A TEEN REPORTER

78
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,535
FOR AN INTERNSHIP
WHICH INCLUDES A CHANCE
TO APPEAR ON TV.

79
00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:01,639
IF YOU'RE INTERESTED,
HAVE A TWO-MINUTE PIECE
ON MY DESK BY FRIDAY--

80
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,522
SOMETHING JUICY, EXPLOSIVE,
HARD-HITTING-- OW.

81
00:04:04,515 --> 00:04:06,275
( groans )

82
00:04:06,277 --> 00:04:08,277
I'LL PICK THE BEST ONE
AND SUBMIT IT TO CHANNEL 8.

83
00:04:08,279 --> 00:04:10,279
NOW GET TO WORK.

84
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,963
- OH, AND TEDDY, WAS IT?
- YEAH.

85
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:17,755
YOU'RE NEW AROUND HERE.
A PIECE OF ADVICE--

86
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,428
DON'T FALL IN LOVE
WITH ME.

87
00:04:19,430 --> 00:04:21,260
I SHAN'T.

88
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:30,569
( sports playing on TV )

89
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:31,871
BOB, BOB, BIG NEWS.

90
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,572
WALT McGUIRE CALLED
AND INVITED US

91
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:35,954
- OUT TO DINNER
AT HIS COUNTRY CLUB.
- WHO IS WALT McGUIRE?

92
00:04:35,946 --> 00:04:37,946
HONEY, HE'S THE HOSPITAL
ADMINISTRATOR.

93
00:04:37,948 --> 00:04:39,678
I TALK ABOUT HIM
ALL THE TIME.

94
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,610
AND I LISTEN ABOUT HIM
ALL THE TIME.

95
00:04:42,613 --> 00:04:45,363
OOH OOH OOH.
YOU KNOW WHAT?

96
00:04:45,356 --> 00:04:48,386
I'M GOING TO WEAR THAT DRESS
THAT MAKES PEOPLE ASK IF
I'M TEDDY'S SISTER.

97
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:50,559
( laughing )
COME ON, HONEY,
HAS ANYBODY EVER--

98
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,704
I LOVE THAT DRESS.

99
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:58,496
YOU KNOW WHAT?

100
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,799
- I THINK I'M GOING TO BUY
A NEW PAIR OF SHOES TOO.
- ( sighs )

101
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,771
AND YOU MIGHT WANT
TO TRY ON YOUR SUIT.

102
00:05:02,773 --> 00:05:04,843
WHY WOULD I WANT
TO DO THAT?

103
00:05:06,377 --> 00:05:08,407
YOU MIGHT HAVE PUT ON
A LITTLE WEIGHT

104
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:10,879
SINCE OUR HOMECOMING DANCE.

105
00:05:10,881 --> 00:05:15,421
- THANK YOU FOR SAYING
"MIGHT HAVE."
- AW.

106
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,419
( doorbell rings )

107
00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:26,564
- P.J.!
- DUSTIN.

108
00:05:26,557 --> 00:05:28,057
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

109
00:05:28,058 --> 00:05:30,498
DO YOU REMEMBER ME
FROM KINDERGARTEN?

110
00:05:30,501 --> 00:05:32,061
I-- I DON'T KNOW.

111
00:05:32,062 --> 00:05:34,672
IT WAS-- IT WAS
A LONG TIME AGO.

112
00:05:34,665 --> 00:05:37,005
AND WHICH YEAR
OF KINDERGARTEN?

113
00:05:38,469 --> 00:05:39,869
I WANT TO SHOW YOU
SOMETHING.

114
00:05:39,870 --> 00:05:41,870
COME ON OUT.

115
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:47,545
- WHAT'S ALL THIS?
- I CAME TO GIVE YOU
A HAIRCUT.

116
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:50,478
OH. OH WELL,
THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU,

117
00:05:50,481 --> 00:05:52,621
BUT I ALWAYS GO TO RACHEL
AT CRAZY CUTS.

118
00:05:52,623 --> 00:05:56,563
- NOT ANYMORE.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

119
00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,029
- ( buzzing )
- ( laughing )

120
00:06:00,030 --> 00:06:04,640
-( thunderclap )
- AHH!

121
00:06:04,635 --> 00:06:06,695
NO!

122
00:06:07,698 --> 00:06:10,468
OH.

123
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:14,411
WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE NIGHTMARES
WHEN I NAP ON THIS COUCH?

124
00:06:14,405 --> 00:06:16,405
EH, FIVE MORE MINUTES.

125
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:31,888
- WHY ARE YOU SITTING WITH ME?
- BECAUSE I DIDN'T REALIZE
IT WAS YOU.

126
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,822
WHY ARE YOU DRESSED
LIKE THAT?

127
00:06:33,824 --> 00:06:36,704
- I DON'T WANT DUSTIN
TO RECOGNIZE ME.
- OH, THE PONYTAIL KID?

128
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,597
YOU'RE WORRIED HE'S GOING
TO GET BACK AT YOU?

129
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:41,829
HE HAS GOTTEN
INTO MY DREAMS,
MY NAP DREAMS.

130
00:06:41,832 --> 00:06:44,842
THAT IS A PLACE FILLED
WITH GUMDROPS AND LOLLIPOPS.

131
00:06:44,835 --> 00:06:47,905
- HE DOES NOT BELONG THERE!
- OKAY.

132
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:51,408
WELL, I'M SORRY
YOU HAD A BAD NAP,
BUT I'VE GOT A REAL PROBLEM.

133
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,511
I HAVE TO COME UP
WITH A GOOD NEWS STORY
BY FRIDAY.

134
00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:55,454
THIS COULD BE MY CHANCE
TO BE ON LOCAL TV.

135
00:06:55,446 --> 00:06:57,716
UGH!

136
00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:59,718
YOU WANT A GOOD STORY,
YOU SHOULD DO A REPORT

137
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,720
ON WHATEVER
THIS MYSTERY MEAT IS.

138
00:07:03,093 --> 00:07:06,703
WAIT A MINUTE.
THAT'S NOT BAD.

139
00:07:06,697 --> 00:07:08,497
I'LL SOLVE
THE MYSTERY MEAT MYSTERY.

140
00:07:08,499 --> 00:07:11,559
THIS DISGUSTING SLOP
COULD BE MY TICKET
TO THE BIG TIME.

141
00:07:11,562 --> 00:07:14,062
- HOW'S LUNCH TODAY?
- OH, REALLY GOOD, THANKS.

142
00:07:22,012 --> 00:07:23,672
Bob:
HEY, HONEY.

143
00:07:23,674 --> 00:07:27,924
- YOU GET SOME SHOES?
- DID I GET SOME SHOES?
DID I GET SOME SHOES?

144
00:07:27,918 --> 00:07:31,518
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU TELL ME.
BA-BAM.

145
00:07:31,522 --> 00:07:34,492
WOW! NICE!

146
00:07:34,485 --> 00:07:37,885
- YEAH, AND ONLY $400.
- WHAT?!

147
00:07:37,888 --> 00:07:40,988
RELAX, I'M GOING TO
RETURN THEM THE DAY
AFTER THE DINNER.

148
00:07:40,991 --> 00:07:43,461
I'M JUST BORROWING THEM.

149
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,873
THEY'RE LIKE A LIBRARY BOOK
THAT MAKES MY CALVES LOOK HOT.

150
00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:51,168
HONEY, NO STORE IS GOING
TO TAKE BACK SHOES ONCE
YOU'VE WORN THEM.

151
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:52,641
THEY'RE NOT GOING TO KNOW
THAT I'VE WORN THEM.

152
00:07:52,643 --> 00:07:55,053
I'M PUTTING TAPE ON THE SOLES
SO THEY DON'T SCUFF.

153
00:07:55,045 --> 00:07:57,545
WHERE DID YOU LEARN
THIS STUFF?

154
00:07:57,548 --> 00:08:00,578
IT'S AN OLD TRICK
FROM MY STARVING STUDENT DAYS.

155
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,681
I THOUGHT I'D OUTGROW IT
WHEN I WAS MARRIED,

156
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:05,963
BUT FOUR KIDS LATER
AND HERE WE ARE-- BA-BAM!

157
00:08:07,518 --> 00:08:10,618
I DON'T KNOW.
SOUNDS WRONG TO ME.

158
00:08:10,621 --> 00:08:13,821
- OR WE CAN
JUST PAY THE $400.
- I'LL GET THE TAPE.

159
00:08:20,631 --> 00:08:22,701
SO YOU CUT A KID'S HAIR
IN KINDERGARTEN

160
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:23,973
AND NOW YOU'RE
ALL FREAKED OUT?

161
00:08:23,974 --> 00:08:27,114
IT WAS THE WORST THING
I EVER DID.

162
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:29,107
I DON'T KNOW,
MAYBE I SHOULD
JUST APOLOGIZE.

163
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:33,679
APOLOGIZE?
I'D CUT HIS HAIR AGAIN,
SHOW HIM WHO'S BOSS.

164
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:38,785
OKAY, GUYS,
WHAT DO WE THINK, HUH?

165
00:08:38,789 --> 00:08:40,989
HUH? READY FOR
THE COUNTRY CLUB?

166
00:08:40,991 --> 00:08:43,691
I DON'T KNOW, DAD.
BUTTON THE JACKET.

167
00:08:43,694 --> 00:08:45,804
THAT'S NOT GOING
TO HAPPEN.

168
00:08:47,157 --> 00:08:49,257
SO I'M GUESSING
THE TOP BUTTON
OF YOUR PANTS

169
00:08:49,259 --> 00:08:50,929
IS OUT OF
THE QUESTION TOO?

170
00:08:53,103 --> 00:08:54,913
YES, SIR, IT IS.

171
00:08:56,767 --> 00:09:00,867
Amy:
BOB, A LITTLE HELP,
PLEASE?

172
00:09:00,871 --> 00:09:03,611
- NEED A LITTLE HELP, PLEASE?
- WHAT? WHOA, WHAT'S WRONG?

173
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:09,017
TURNS OUT THAT PUTTING TAPE
ON YOUR SHOES MAKES THEM

174
00:09:09,019 --> 00:09:11,179
JUST A LITTLE BIT
SLIPPERY.

175
00:09:12,322 --> 00:09:14,932
WELL, WHY DON'T
YOU CHANGE SHOES?

176
00:09:14,925 --> 00:09:17,055
WHAT, AND KILL THE GLAMOUR?

177
00:09:26,737 --> 00:09:28,997
HOW'D YOU LIKE TO PAY
ALL THAT MONEY

178
00:09:28,999 --> 00:09:31,869
TO JOIN THE COUNTRY CLUB
AND SEE THAT COMING IN?

179
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:38,946
What is the meat
in mystery meat?

180
00:09:38,949 --> 00:09:42,649
To find out,
I decided to sit down
with Lydia the lunch lady

181
00:09:42,653 --> 00:09:45,663
and ask her
some tough questions.

182
00:09:48,759 --> 00:09:52,919
- PRETTY GOOD SO FAR, HUH?
- SHH! OW.

183
00:09:52,923 --> 00:09:55,833
Teddy:
So, Lydia,
let's get right to it.

184
00:09:55,826 --> 00:09:57,226
Tell me about the meat.

185
00:09:57,227 --> 00:10:01,127
Does that camera
have to be so close?

186
00:10:01,131 --> 00:10:02,931
Why are you sweating?

187
00:10:02,933 --> 00:10:07,843
Because you're shining
a very bright light
in my face!

188
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,939
Or is it because
you're lying?

189
00:10:10,941 --> 00:10:14,081
What is it, Lydia?
What is the meat?

190
00:10:14,084 --> 00:10:17,094
- Ground beef.
- Is it?

191
00:10:17,087 --> 00:10:19,087
Or is it something else?

192
00:10:19,089 --> 00:10:21,089
( neighing )

193
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:27,964
Mystery meat--
is it really such a mystery?

194
00:10:27,958 --> 00:10:30,358
( horse neighs )

195
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:34,940
This is Teddy Duncan
and I'm on your side.

196
00:10:37,668 --> 00:10:40,708
- SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- I CAN'T SUBMIT THIS.

197
00:10:40,711 --> 00:10:44,951
- WHY NOT?
- BECAUSE THERE ARE
NO FACTS, NO PROOF.

198
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:47,945
I'M SORRY, BUT IT STINKS.

199
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:51,278
BUT I NEED THAT INTERNSHIP.
I WANT TO BE ON TV.

200
00:10:51,281 --> 00:10:53,881
THEN YOU'D BETTER COME UP
WITH SOMETHING GREAT
BY TOMORROW.

201
00:10:53,884 --> 00:10:56,194
- OH WELL, JUST WATCH ME.
- I DON'T THINK YOU CAN DO IT.

202
00:10:56,186 --> 00:10:58,286
- I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU
EAT THOSE WORDS.
- DO YOU WANT TO KISS ME

203
00:10:58,288 --> 00:11:00,988
- AS MUCH AS I WANT
TO KISS YOU?
- NO, I DON'T.

204
00:11:01,992 --> 00:11:03,892
WORTH A SHOT.

205
00:11:18,709 --> 00:11:18,909
( door opens )

206
00:11:18,909 --> 00:11:21,809
- AW, THAT MOVIE WAS AWESOME!
- SO AWESOME!

207
00:11:21,812 --> 00:11:23,952
WHEN THE BLOOD SHOT
OUT OF THAT GUY'S ARM,

208
00:11:23,954 --> 00:11:27,124
- IT LOOKED SO REAL!
- SO REAL!

209
00:11:27,117 --> 00:11:28,857
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
TALKING ABOUT?

210
00:11:28,859 --> 00:11:33,819
- UH, NOTHING.
- WE JUST SAW
"DECAPITATION 3."

211
00:11:33,824 --> 00:11:36,834
- NO, WE DIDN'T.
- YES, WE DID.

212
00:11:36,827 --> 00:11:39,097
REMEMBER I ALMOST BARFED
WHEN THEY USED

213
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:42,129
THAT LADY'S HEAD
AS A BOWLING BALL?

214
00:11:42,132 --> 00:11:44,742
WAIT WAIT WAIT.
THAT MOVIE'S RATED PG-13.

215
00:11:44,735 --> 00:11:45,905
WHO TOOK YOU GUYS
TO GO SEE IT?

216
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:48,906
Both:
HIS MOM.
HIS DAD.

217
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:51,839
WE SLIPPED THE GUY
AT THE BOX OFFICE

218
00:11:51,842 --> 00:11:54,142
FIVE EXTRA BUCKS
AND HE LET US IN.

219
00:11:54,144 --> 00:11:56,154
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

220
00:11:56,146 --> 00:11:58,886
SHE'S A DIRECT PIPELINE
TO THE MAN.

221
00:11:58,889 --> 00:12:01,219
AND BY THE MAN
I MEAN MY MOM.

222
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,321
OKAY, SO THAT SLEAZEBALL
AT THE MOVIE THEATER

223
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,134
IS TAKING BRIBES
FROM KIDS?

224
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:09,826
THAT'S... FANTASTIC!

225
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:11,330
- IT IS?
- YES YES.

226
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,501
THIS IS EXACTLY
THE KIND OF STORY I NEED.

227
00:12:13,503 --> 00:12:16,873
THIS IS GOING TO PUT ME ON TV,
WHERE I BELONG.

228
00:12:16,867 --> 00:12:18,507
YOU SOUND LIKE MOM.

229
00:12:18,508 --> 00:12:20,738
SHUT UP.

230
00:12:23,413 --> 00:12:25,923
UGH, NICE JOB.

231
00:12:25,916 --> 00:12:29,176
- WE'RE PROBABLY GOING
TO GET IN TROUBLE NOW.
- I'M SORRY.

232
00:12:29,179 --> 00:12:32,149
HEY, YOU WANT SOME
MELTED POCKET CHOCOLATE?

233
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:35,092
THAT'S DISGUSTING.

234
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,887
YEAH, OKAY.

235
00:12:44,895 --> 00:12:48,095
- EMERGENCY!
BOB, WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY.
- WHAT? WHAT IS IT?

236
00:12:48,098 --> 00:12:50,498
- THE SHOES ARE GONE.
- NOBODY MOVE!

237
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,970
THIS HOUSE
IS ON LOCKDOWN!

238
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,413
WHAT-- WH-WHEN WAS
THE LAST TIME YOU SAW THEM?

239
00:12:55,405 --> 00:12:58,075
UM, UH, WHEN I GOT HOME
LAST NIGHT,

240
00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:00,548
I PUT THEM IN THE BOX
AND WENT TO BED.

241
00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:03,180
THEN I GOT OUT OF BED
TO GO TO THE BATHROOM,
PUT THEM BACK ON,

242
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:05,993
WENT TO THE BATHROOM,
PUT THEM BACK IN THE BOX
AND WENT TO BED.

243
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:08,456
WAIT, WHY WOULD YOU
PUT ON SHOES TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM?

244
00:13:08,458 --> 00:13:11,488
BECAUSE THEY MAKE
EVERYTHING AN EVENT.

245
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:15,071
HONEY, LOOK,
THE ONLY EVENT RIGHT NOW
IS THAT WE'RE OUT $400.

246
00:13:15,065 --> 00:13:17,095
WE'VE GOT TO FIND
THE SHOES!

247
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:18,267
- HEY, GUYS.
- Bob:HEY.

248
00:13:18,268 --> 00:13:20,968
HI. WHY IS CHARLIE
SO DIRTY?

249
00:13:20,971 --> 00:13:22,831
WE WERE PLAYING CHASE
IN THE YARD

250
00:13:22,833 --> 00:13:24,883
AND BECAUSE
SHE WAS WEARING HIGH HEELS,
SHE SLIPPED AND FELL.

251
00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:27,835
- WHAT HEELS?
- THESE.

252
00:13:27,838 --> 00:13:31,038
- NO!
- YEAH. YEAH, SHE LOOKED
PRETTY CUTE IN THEM TOO.

253
00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:32,341
I GOT SOME GREAT PICS
ON MY PHONE.

254
00:13:32,342 --> 00:13:33,842
- YOU GUYS WANT TO SEE?
- UGH.

255
00:13:33,844 --> 00:13:35,194
- SEE?
- ( beeping )

256
00:13:35,185 --> 00:13:38,285
( crying )

257
00:13:38,288 --> 00:13:41,588
IT'S FUNNY, NOT SAD.

258
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,937
HEY, DUSTIN,
HOW'S IT GOING?

259
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:02,840
I'M P.J.
I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU REMEMBER ME.

260
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,552
- WE WENT TO KINDERGARTEN
TOGETHER.
- WE DID?

261
00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:10,075
YEAH YEAH, I WAS THE KID
WHO GLUED HIS FACE
TO THE DESK.

262
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,950
I WAS THE KID
WHO GOT HIS TONGUE CAUGHT
IN THE HAMSTER WHEEL.

263
00:14:14,384 --> 00:14:17,864
I WAS THE KID WHO CUT OFF
YOUR PONYTAIL.

264
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,287
OH YEAH,
I REMEMBER THAT.

265
00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:21,960
YEAH YEAH.

266
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:24,262
LISTEN, I KNOW IT'S PROBABLY
WAY TOO LATE FOR THIS,

267
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,874
BUT I JUST-- I WANT
TO SAY I'M REALLY SORRY.

268
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,266
EH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.

269
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,239
- SO YOU'RE NOT MAD?
- NOT AT ALL.

270
00:14:31,241 --> 00:14:34,401
OH, THAT'S SO GREAT, MAN.
YOU MIND IF I STAY?

271
00:14:34,404 --> 00:14:36,114
- SURE SURE.
- COOL.

272
00:14:36,106 --> 00:14:38,506
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CUT
MY HAIR AGAIN, ARE YOU?

273
00:14:42,052 --> 00:14:44,352
- OH. WHOO.
- YEAH.

274
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:55,172
OKAY OKAY, YOU GUYS, COME ON.
SO HERE'S THE PLAN:

275
00:14:55,165 --> 00:14:57,595
GABE, YOU'LL BUY THE TICKETS.
JAKE, YOU'LL WEAR THIS HAT.

276
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,967
IT HAS A CAMERA IN IT
AND IT'LL RECORD
THE WHOLE THING.

277
00:14:59,970 --> 00:15:02,200
I DON'T LOOK GOOD
IN HATS.

278
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,002
JAKE, COME ON,
WE GOT TO DO THIS.

279
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:07,184
DUDE, MY HAIR
IS MY BEST FEATURE.

280
00:15:08,438 --> 00:15:11,408
OKAY, WELL, IF YOU GUYS
DON'T GO THROUGH WITH THIS,

281
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,911
I'LL TELL BOTH YOUR MOMS
ABOUT "DECAPITATION 3"...

282
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,223
AND "1" AND "2."

283
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:19,415
- UH, YOU KNOW ABOUT THOSE?
- I DO NOW.

284
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:23,021
CAN I AT LEAST
WEAR IT BACKWARDS?

285
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:24,593
IT'S MORE HIP HOP
THAT WAY.

286
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:33,530
WHAT HE LACKS IN BRAINS
HE MAKES UP FOR IN...

287
00:15:34,604 --> 00:15:36,144
HE'S GOT A POOL.

288
00:15:46,476 --> 00:15:48,176
SPONGE.

289
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,664
MARKER.

290
00:16:01,391 --> 00:16:03,131
PRETZEL.

291
00:16:08,738 --> 00:16:10,568
( sighs )

292
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,570
- ARE THEY GOING
TO MAKE IT?
- SHH.

293
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:15,652
A VERY CRITICAL PART
OF THE OPERATION.

294
00:16:16,746 --> 00:16:20,046
I NEED ABSOLUTE QUIET.

295
00:16:20,050 --> 00:16:23,180
- HEY, GUYS!
HOW'S IT GOING?
- OOH! MY GOSH!

296
00:16:25,015 --> 00:16:26,315
DID WE LOSE HER?

297
00:16:29,259 --> 00:16:31,389
- WHAT IS IT, P.J.?
- THIS IS DUSTIN.

298
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,061
IS IT OKAY
IF HE SLEEPS OVER?

299
00:16:33,063 --> 00:16:37,103
- SURE. HI. FINE.
- COOL, THANKS.

300
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:40,297
- WHAT ARE THEY DOING?
- I DON'T KNOW.
PLAYING CATCH WITH SHOES.

301
00:16:46,276 --> 00:16:48,276
GO GO.

302
00:16:52,042 --> 00:16:53,742
TWO TICKETS FOR
"DECAPITATION 3," PLEASE.

303
00:16:53,743 --> 00:16:56,053
Ooh, that's PG-13, guys.

304
00:16:56,046 --> 00:16:58,786
And since I don't see
any adults around here,

305
00:16:58,788 --> 00:17:00,388
if you want to buy
a ticket,

306
00:17:00,390 --> 00:17:04,220
there's going to be
a handling fee.

307
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:07,364
Jake:
"Fishy Friendz" instead.

308
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,228
NO NO NO NO.
LOOK AT GABE!

309
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,030
LOOK AT GABE!
OH!

310
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,601
Jake:
the voice talents

311
00:17:14,604 --> 00:17:17,614
of Steve Carell
and Rosie Perez.

312
00:17:17,607 --> 00:17:21,167
ENJOY THE SHOW.
( chuckles )

313
00:17:25,315 --> 00:17:27,615
- OKAY, ARE WE DONE NOW?
- NO NO, YOU DIDN'T GET IT.

314
00:17:27,617 --> 00:17:29,677
JAKE WAS LOOKING
AT THE POSTER FOR
"FISHY FRIENDZ."

315
00:17:29,679 --> 00:17:33,119
I COULDN'T HELP IT.
THE FISH WAS WEARING GLASSES.

316
00:17:33,123 --> 00:17:35,263
THAT'S HILARIOUS!

317
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,725
ALL RIGHT,
WE'RE DOING THIS AGAIN.

318
00:17:37,727 --> 00:17:39,557
THIS TIME
I'M WEARING THE HAT.

319
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,329
HERE.

320
00:17:41,331 --> 00:17:43,331
JAKE, YOU WAIT HERE.

321
00:17:46,096 --> 00:17:48,836
- One ticket for
- Weren't you just here?

322
00:17:48,838 --> 00:17:51,568
YEAH, I WAS HERE
AND YOU WERE THERE

323
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,241
AND I GAVE YOU
SOME MONEY.

324
00:17:53,243 --> 00:17:54,743
NOW DO YOU WANT
TO DO IT AGAIN OR NOT?

325
00:17:54,744 --> 00:17:57,454
Okay, you know the drill.

326
00:17:57,447 --> 00:17:59,447
Handling fee.

327
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,186
EXCUSE ME, DID YOU JUST
SELL AN 11-YEAR-OLD BOY

328
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:10,759
A TICKET
TO A PG-13 MOVIE?

329
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,560
What? I-- I don't know
what you're talking about.

330
00:18:13,563 --> 00:18:16,173
OH YEAH? OKAY.
WELL, I THINK YOU DO

331
00:18:16,166 --> 00:18:19,626
BECAUSE I JUST CAUGHT
THE WHOLE THING ON MY HAT CAM.
CARE TO MAKE A STATEMENT?

332
00:18:19,629 --> 00:18:21,869
Yeah. How about--
how about I give you

333
00:18:21,871 --> 00:18:23,471
two free tickets
to "Fishy Friendz"

334
00:18:23,473 --> 00:18:25,183
and we make this thing
go away, huh?

335
00:18:25,175 --> 00:18:27,335
DO IT!

336
00:18:27,337 --> 00:18:31,207
Busted!
teen reporter.Duncan,

337
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:34,781
Remember, when there's news
to be reported, then...

338
00:18:34,784 --> 00:18:37,554
the one reporting it
will be me.

339
00:18:37,547 --> 00:18:39,417
I'LL FIX THAT LATER.

340
00:18:48,198 --> 00:18:50,728
- GOOD MORNING.
- HEY.

341
00:18:54,304 --> 00:18:55,614
WHY ARE YOU HOLDING
THE MIRROR?

342
00:18:55,605 --> 00:18:58,135
BECAUSE NOW WE'RE EVEN.

343
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:01,137
AHH!

344
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,372
AH!

345
00:19:05,415 --> 00:19:08,415
DUDE, I JUST HAD
THE WEIRDEST DREAM.

346
00:19:08,418 --> 00:19:11,378
REALLY? WHAT ABOUT?

347
00:19:11,381 --> 00:19:14,281
IT WAS ACTUALLY
KIND OF CRAZY.

348
00:19:14,284 --> 00:19:16,694
TO GET BACK AT ME
YOU SHAVED HALF MY HEAD.

349
00:19:16,686 --> 00:19:20,426
WOW. WOW, THAT IS CRAZY.

350
00:19:20,430 --> 00:19:23,230
- SHOULD WE GET SOME BREAKFAST?
- YEAH, SOUNDS GOOD.

351
00:19:27,397 --> 00:19:29,797
- ARE YOU CHILLY?
- NO.

352
00:19:29,799 --> 00:19:32,799
I'M A LITTLE CHILLY.
HUH.

353
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:42,709
This is Teddy Duncan
getting all up in your news.

354
00:19:42,712 --> 00:19:44,952
( snaps fingers )

355
00:19:44,954 --> 00:19:46,924
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

356
00:19:46,916 --> 00:19:50,316
IT'S HARD-HITTING,
INFORMATIVE AND ENTERTAINING.

357
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,390
IT'S THE BEST PIECE
I'VE SEEN ALL SEMESTER
AND... I'M KILLING IT.

358
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:56,733
- WHAT? WHY?
- THAT BOX OFFICE GUY
IS MY BROTHER.

359
00:19:56,726 --> 00:19:58,426
- YOUR BROTHER?
- YEAH.

360
00:19:58,428 --> 00:20:00,798
I GOT THE LOOKS,
BUT HE GOT THE CRAZY.

361
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,670
WAIT, BUT I WANT
THAT INTERNSHIP.

362
00:20:02,672 --> 00:20:04,472
- HE'S MY RIDE TO SCHOOL.
- THAT'S NOT FAIR.

363
00:20:04,474 --> 00:20:05,984
- LIFE ISN'T FAIR.
- YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

364
00:20:05,975 --> 00:20:08,405
- KISS ME.
- NO, THANK YOU.

365
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:14,881
Well, Charlie, looks like
my reporting career

366
00:20:14,884 --> 00:20:17,424
has hit a little bump
in the road.

367
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,747
( groaning )

368
00:20:19,749 --> 00:20:21,749
Oh, my feet
are killing me.

369
00:20:23,493 --> 00:20:26,403
Mom, why did you wear
your heels to work?

370
00:20:26,396 --> 00:20:30,656
Oh, they make
everything an event.

371
00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:32,930
Oh. The store wouldn't
take them back, huh?

372
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:35,412
Laughed in my face.
( whimpers )

373
00:20:35,405 --> 00:20:37,765
See, this is
a good lesson, Charlie.

374
00:20:37,767 --> 00:20:39,467
If you try to pull a scam,

375
00:20:39,469 --> 00:20:41,309
you're going to suffer
the consequences.

376
00:20:41,311 --> 00:20:42,471
Here here,
give me that camera.

377
00:20:42,472 --> 00:20:44,472
No, Mom, I'll do
the video diary, thank you.

378
00:20:44,474 --> 00:20:46,624
No no no no.
I'd like to say to Charlie.

379
00:20:46,616 --> 00:20:49,446
Stay out of my closet,
all right?

380
00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:52,379
Yeah? Next time you take
a pair of my shoes--

381
00:20:52,382 --> 00:20:55,332
you can take it
from here.

382
00:20:55,325 --> 00:20:57,555
Good luck, Charlie.

383
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:02,929
( classical music playing )

384
00:21:02,932 --> 00:21:05,602
GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO
"GABE AND JAKE AT THE MOVIES."

385
00:21:05,595 --> 00:21:07,295
I'M GABE...

386
00:21:07,297 --> 00:21:10,337
THIS POPCORN MAKES
MY FINGERS SHINY.

387
00:21:12,442 --> 00:21:13,902
...AND THAT'S JAKE.

388
00:21:13,903 --> 00:21:17,783
THE FIRST MOVIE
WE'RE REVIEWING TONIGHT
IS "FISHY FRIENDZ."

389
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,377
NOW I FOUND IT
FAMILIAR AND TIRED,

390
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:22,750
NOTHING I HADN'T SEEN
100 TIMES BEFORE.

391
00:21:22,752 --> 00:21:26,362
- JAKE?
- IT WAS AWESOME!

392
00:21:26,356 --> 00:21:28,656
THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY
ABOUT EVERY MOVIE.

393
00:21:28,658 --> 00:21:30,988
BECAUSE I LIKE EVERY MOVIE.

394
00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:33,720
THEN WHAT'S THE POINT
OF DOING THIS SHOW?

395
00:21:33,723 --> 00:21:36,373
FREE POPCORN.

396
00:21:36,366 --> 00:21:38,766
- YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
- YOU'RE THE IDIOT.

397
00:21:38,768 --> 00:21:40,928
- AM NOT!
- ARE SO!

398
00:21:40,930 --> 00:21:42,770
THAT'S ALL THE TIME
WE HAVE FOR THIS WEEK.

399
00:21:42,772 --> 00:21:46,312
SEE YOU NEXT TIME
ON "GABE AT THE MOVIES."

400
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,535
HEY!