1 00:01:25,965 --> 00:01:27,967 He's too hot to be a coaster. 2 00:01:28,367 --> 00:01:30,369 That's the magic of ecstasy. Everybody looks good. 3 00:01:30,569 --> 00:01:31,771 Good? He's practically a superhero. 4 00:01:31,771 --> 00:01:33,272 All he needs is a spandex body suit, 5 00:01:33,272 --> 00:01:35,274 and he's ready to save the universe. 6 00:01:35,274 --> 00:01:36,776 There. How's that? 7 00:01:36,776 --> 00:01:39,278 Now he just needs an insignia on his chest. 8 00:01:39,278 --> 00:01:41,280 A lightning bolt? 9 00:01:41,580 --> 00:01:42,782 Uh, an atom? 10 00:01:42,782 --> 00:01:45,985 An "E". 11 00:01:45,985 --> 00:01:46,986 "E"! 12 00:01:47,386 --> 00:01:48,387 And a mask, of course. 13 00:01:48,387 --> 00:01:50,189 Of course! 14 00:01:50,189 --> 00:01:51,590 Oh! And a cape? 15 00:01:51,590 --> 00:01:53,392 Capes are so last century. 16 00:01:53,893 --> 00:01:54,894 But he does need a superpower. 17 00:01:55,394 --> 00:01:56,696 He wouldn't be a superhero without one. 18 00:01:56,696 --> 00:01:57,897 How about paralyzing beams 19 00:01:57,897 --> 00:02:01,200 that radiate from his dark, smoldering bedroom eyes? 20 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,201 Oh, better yet, 21 00:02:02,201 --> 00:02:04,804 the de-materializer rays that shoot from the... 22 00:02:04,804 --> 00:02:07,406 the mega-blaster he keeps concealed in his super-shorts. 23 00:02:09,809 --> 00:02:14,013 What are you girls all giggly about? 24 00:02:14,013 --> 00:02:15,915 Okay. No more drugs for you. 25 00:02:15,915 --> 00:02:17,717 Then how about another round of drinks, on me? 26 00:02:18,217 --> 00:02:20,920 What's the occasion, your one billionth rejection? 27 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:22,221 Better. 28 00:02:22,231 --> 00:02:24,513 The nominations for the Gay Porn Awards were just announced. 29 00:02:24,523 --> 00:02:25,725 And guess who's being recognized 30 00:02:25,735 --> 00:02:28,527 for his outstanding achievement? 31 00:02:28,527 --> 00:02:31,330 None other than jerk@work's very own... 32 00:02:31,330 --> 00:02:33,332 Fetch Dixon. Thank you very much. 33 00:02:33,332 --> 00:02:34,633 Hey! Awesome. 34 00:02:35,134 --> 00:02:36,535 That's so great. 35 00:02:36,535 --> 00:02:38,037 Wait till you tell Emmett, he'll be so excited. 36 00:02:38,037 --> 00:02:41,040 It's always gratifying to be recognized for your hard work. 37 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,641 He could really use it. 38 00:02:42,641 --> 00:02:44,143 Especially after all he's been through. 39 00:02:44,143 --> 00:02:45,745 I can't wait to read him the official letter. 40 00:02:45,745 --> 00:02:47,246 "Dear Mr. Schmidt, 41 00:02:47,246 --> 00:02:49,749 The Academy of Pornographic Arts and Sciences 42 00:02:50,049 --> 00:02:51,751 is pleased to inform you... 43 00:02:51,761 --> 00:02:53,753 that the star of your porn site, 44 00:02:54,053 --> 00:02:57,256 Fetch Dixon, has been nominated for the coveted 45 00:02:57,267 --> 00:03:04,764 Crystal Dick Award as internet New-Cummer of the Year." 46 00:03:04,764 --> 00:03:06,766 Well? 47 00:03:06,766 --> 00:03:09,368 Isn't this fantastic? 48 00:03:09,368 --> 00:03:11,871 Yeah. It's very nice. 49 00:03:12,371 --> 00:03:13,873 Nice? You know... 50 00:03:13,873 --> 00:03:16,876 It's not every day that someone gets nominated for a Crystal Dick. 51 00:03:16,876 --> 00:03:19,678 That's huge. 52 00:03:19,678 --> 00:03:20,679 I suppose. 53 00:03:20,679 --> 00:03:22,681 All right, I'll tell you what. 54 00:03:22,681 --> 00:03:26,185 I'll hire a limo to drive us. Okay? 55 00:03:26,185 --> 00:03:28,687 Really make a... event out of it. 56 00:03:28,687 --> 00:03:29,688 Go in style. 57 00:03:29,688 --> 00:03:32,191 Hmm. Thanks, Teddy, I don't... 58 00:03:32,191 --> 00:03:36,695 really feel much like celebrating. 59 00:03:36,695 --> 00:03:40,699 I know, Em, but... 60 00:03:40,699 --> 00:03:42,701 it's The Gay Porno Awards! 61 00:03:42,701 --> 00:03:44,203 You know, 62 00:03:44,703 --> 00:03:48,207 you owe it to yourself to get out, have some fun. 63 00:03:48,207 --> 00:03:49,708 I don't know. 64 00:03:49,708 --> 00:03:52,711 Maybe if George were still here to enjoy it with me, 65 00:03:52,711 --> 00:03:56,215 I might consider it. 66 00:03:56,215 --> 00:04:00,219 Besides, I still have a lot of things to do, you know, and... 67 00:04:00,219 --> 00:04:03,222 like, figure out what to say at his funeral. 68 00:04:03,222 --> 00:04:04,723 You plan on speaking? 69 00:04:04,723 --> 00:04:07,726 Yeah. 70 00:04:07,726 --> 00:04:10,229 I want everyone to know how wonderful he was. 71 00:04:10,229 --> 00:04:12,832 What we shared. 72 00:04:12,832 --> 00:04:14,834 But more importantly, I... 73 00:04:15,334 --> 00:04:18,838 still need to say goodbye. 74 00:04:18,838 --> 00:04:23,342 Never really had the chance. 75 00:04:23,342 --> 00:04:25,847 Well... 76 00:04:27,847 --> 00:04:29,851 then you should. 77 00:04:39,158 --> 00:04:41,160 You two look like shit. 78 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,661 Why don't you? 79 00:04:42,661 --> 00:04:44,163 E-Man saved me. 80 00:04:44,163 --> 00:04:46,165 Huh. 81 00:04:46,165 --> 00:04:47,666 Jesus, you didn't keep that? 82 00:04:47,666 --> 00:04:50,669 Are you kidding? It's fanfucking-tastic. 83 00:04:50,669 --> 00:04:53,961 - Must be the drugs talking. - No, it's me, and, 84 00:04:53,973 --> 00:04:55,774 It got me thinking. 85 00:04:55,774 --> 00:04:57,776 That's always a dangerous sign. 86 00:04:57,776 --> 00:05:00,279 Do you mind? I'm trying to have a conversation with your boyfriend. 87 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:02,781 After they killed off Captain Astro, 88 00:05:02,781 --> 00:05:04,773 people have been coming into my comic book store 89 00:05:04,783 --> 00:05:06,785 looking for a gay superhero, you know, to take his place. 90 00:05:06,785 --> 00:05:08,777 But he doesn't exist. 91 00:05:08,787 --> 00:05:10,289 That's when it came to me. 92 00:05:10,289 --> 00:05:11,790 Why wait for someone else to create him? 93 00:05:12,291 --> 00:05:14,793 Why don't we just create him ourselves? 94 00:05:14,793 --> 00:05:16,295 You mean, do our own comic? 95 00:05:16,395 --> 00:05:17,396 Why not? 96 00:05:17,396 --> 00:05:19,899 Okay, it's time for your medication. 97 00:05:19,899 --> 00:05:21,400 What... 98 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:22,401 people make their own films, 99 00:05:22,401 --> 00:05:24,904 they write books and screenplays. 100 00:05:24,904 --> 00:05:26,405 Why is it so crazy? 101 00:05:26,405 --> 00:05:28,407 Well for one thing, I don't know anything about comics. 102 00:05:28,407 --> 00:05:29,408 I do. It's my business, 103 00:05:29,408 --> 00:05:30,809 I've been reading them all my life. 104 00:05:30,809 --> 00:05:31,991 I could come up with a million stories 105 00:05:32,312 --> 00:05:38,919 Except I can't draw for shit. You can. 106 00:05:38,919 --> 00:05:40,622 Would be kind of cool. 107 00:05:42,622 --> 00:05:46,626 What do you say we get together and just brainstorm? 108 00:05:46,626 --> 00:05:48,128 Yeah. 109 00:05:48,128 --> 00:05:50,130 - I guess we could give it a try. - Finally, 110 00:05:50,130 --> 00:05:52,632 you two boys will have something in common besides me. 111 00:05:53,133 --> 00:05:57,134 And what a relief not to be the centre of everyone's universe. 112 00:06:04,244 --> 00:06:06,746 I got you, don't worry. 113 00:06:07,247 --> 00:06:08,748 Okay, one more step. 114 00:06:08,748 --> 00:06:11,751 Oh, that's it. 115 00:06:11,751 --> 00:06:13,753 All right. 116 00:06:13,753 --> 00:06:16,457 Okay. 117 00:06:17,457 --> 00:06:19,960 Open your eyes. 118 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,461 Wow. 119 00:06:21,461 --> 00:06:23,763 Uh... what am I looking at? 120 00:06:25,265 --> 00:06:26,766 My new studio. 121 00:06:26,766 --> 00:06:28,768 Or at least the way I've imagined it. See? 122 00:06:28,768 --> 00:06:31,071 I've marked where everything should be. The sink, 123 00:06:31,071 --> 00:06:34,474 The shelves... 124 00:06:34,474 --> 00:06:36,977 Oh. Is that... is that a skylight? 125 00:06:37,077 --> 00:06:40,078 It'll give the place a nice, light, airy feel, don't you think? 126 00:06:40,090 --> 00:06:42,882 I think it'll give our bank account a nice, light, airy feel too. 127 00:06:42,882 --> 00:06:43,883 Hey, anybody here? 128 00:06:44,384 --> 00:06:45,385 In the attic. 129 00:06:45,585 --> 00:06:48,088 The studio. 130 00:06:48,588 --> 00:06:49,589 I know money's an issue, 131 00:06:49,589 --> 00:06:51,491 which is why I've done my research. 132 00:06:51,491 --> 00:06:52,993 I've priced all the materials. 133 00:06:52,993 --> 00:06:53,793 What about the plumbers, 134 00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:55,795 electricians, carpenters... 135 00:06:55,795 --> 00:06:57,297 uh... skylight guys? 136 00:06:57,297 --> 00:06:58,798 New fanbelt's here. 137 00:06:58,999 --> 00:07:00,000 If you can spare your wheels, 138 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,002 I'll pop it in right now. 139 00:07:03,503 --> 00:07:05,705 Whoa. Killer space. 140 00:07:06,206 --> 00:07:08,208 - It's going to be my new studio. - Cool. 141 00:07:08,208 --> 00:07:10,710 Leeds, you know reno. Can you price this? 142 00:07:10,710 --> 00:07:13,713 Well... 143 00:07:14,114 --> 00:07:16,816 if you use a contractor... 144 00:07:16,816 --> 00:07:18,818 my guesstimate's ten. 145 00:07:18,818 --> 00:07:19,819 But then, they always say 146 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:21,621 to double it. 147 00:07:21,621 --> 00:07:23,123 That's a sizeable chunk of change. 148 00:07:23,123 --> 00:07:24,624 Too sizeable. 149 00:07:24,624 --> 00:07:26,626 Unless, of course... 150 00:07:26,626 --> 00:07:29,629 I do it for you. 151 00:07:29,729 --> 00:07:30,730 Oh, we couldn't possibly ask that. 152 00:07:30,730 --> 00:07:32,633 Who's asking? I'm offering. 153 00:07:32,643 --> 00:07:34,634 Yeah, it still sounds like it'll cost a bundle. 154 00:07:34,634 --> 00:07:38,626 It just so happens the dykes I'm house-sitting for are back from their cleansing in India 155 00:07:38,638 --> 00:07:40,140 and that I'm going to need a place to crash. 156 00:07:40,140 --> 00:07:42,142 And we have a couch. 157 00:07:42,142 --> 00:07:47,143 I get a roof over my head, complete with skylight, and in exchange... 158 00:07:47,247 --> 00:07:51,151 you get your studio. 159 00:07:51,551 --> 00:07:52,552 Well, I think it sounds 160 00:07:52,552 --> 00:07:56,555 - like the perfect solution. - Except, as you know, 161 00:07:57,057 --> 00:08:01,061 an artist's studio is a private, personal space. 162 00:08:01,161 --> 00:08:03,663 I'd like to be able to create it for myself. 163 00:08:03,663 --> 00:08:04,664 So, thank you for the offer, 164 00:08:04,664 --> 00:08:06,666 Leda, but... 165 00:08:06,666 --> 00:08:08,668 no thanks. 166 00:08:09,169 --> 00:08:10,170 Well. 167 00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:14,574 When do we start accidentally losing fingers? 168 00:08:14,574 --> 00:08:16,076 How about this? 169 00:08:16,076 --> 00:08:18,578 A young scientist is doing an experiment in radiation 170 00:08:18,578 --> 00:08:20,380 when he gets bitten by a radioactive bug? 171 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,582 - Yeah. - That's Spider-Man. 172 00:08:22,582 --> 00:08:27,087 Oh. 173 00:08:27,587 --> 00:08:29,089 King of the Seas. He breathes... 174 00:08:29,589 --> 00:08:31,091 underwater. 175 00:08:31,591 --> 00:08:33,593 That's Aquaman. 176 00:08:37,097 --> 00:08:39,099 Okay, I know, I got it. 177 00:08:39,099 --> 00:08:41,601 He's sent to Earth by his parents when he's just a baby 178 00:08:42,102 --> 00:08:43,303 right before his planet explodes. 179 00:08:43,303 --> 00:08:45,805 When he gets here, he discovers he has all these superpowers... 180 00:08:45,805 --> 00:08:48,508 You gotta be kidding me. 181 00:08:48,508 --> 00:08:50,009 Well then, you think of something. 182 00:08:50,009 --> 00:08:52,112 You're the one with the million great ideas. 183 00:08:52,112 --> 00:08:53,613 Well unfortunately, they've all been previously thought of. 184 00:08:53,613 --> 00:08:54,914 Well maybe we should just forget it. 185 00:08:54,914 --> 00:08:58,418 No, it... it'll come to us, I know. 186 00:08:58,418 --> 00:08:59,919 We've been sitting here for hours. 187 00:08:59,919 --> 00:09:01,921 You can't rush a brilliant idea. 188 00:09:15,034 --> 00:09:16,536 You know, whoever our guy is, he doesn't... 189 00:09:16,536 --> 00:09:19,839 have to be your standard superhero steroid case. 190 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:21,241 It's his mind that makes him sexy. 191 00:09:21,241 --> 00:09:24,442 - It's his fierce individualism... - That gives him courage. 192 00:09:24,444 --> 00:09:27,935 - His uncompromising moral code... - That makes him strong. 193 00:09:27,947 --> 00:09:32,109 What if his disguise is that he's a cold-hearted Ad Exec by day... 194 00:09:32,152 --> 00:09:35,355 Defender of queers by night. 195 00:09:35,355 --> 00:09:37,357 Now, all we need is a name. 196 00:09:37,357 --> 00:09:40,660 Okay. 197 00:09:41,161 --> 00:09:42,862 Fucking piece of shit! 198 00:09:45,965 --> 00:09:49,269 - The Fury? - Pissed-Off Man. 199 00:09:52,172 --> 00:09:55,175 Rage. 200 00:09:55,675 --> 00:09:56,476 It's genius! 201 00:10:02,882 --> 00:10:04,083 Once you've cleared this, 202 00:10:04,083 --> 00:10:05,585 you can work on those pieces over there. 203 00:10:05,585 --> 00:10:09,088 Yes, sir. 204 00:10:09,589 --> 00:10:11,090 Mr. Honeycutt, 205 00:10:11,090 --> 00:10:15,595 please accept my most sincere condolences. 206 00:10:15,595 --> 00:10:18,097 Thank you, Jonathan. And mine to you. 207 00:10:18,398 --> 00:10:21,401 I, uh... I can't imagine how George will manage up there without you. 208 00:10:21,901 --> 00:10:24,404 He's in far more capable hands now. 209 00:10:24,404 --> 00:10:26,406 I expect you've come for your things. 210 00:10:26,406 --> 00:10:27,907 Allow me to get them for you. 211 00:10:28,208 --> 00:10:30,710 Actually, I'd prefer to do it myself. 212 00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:34,214 I'd, uh... I'd like to be in his room one last time. 213 00:10:34,214 --> 00:10:36,716 And, uh... and I was kind of hoping to, uh, 214 00:10:36,716 --> 00:10:39,219 take a little something to remember him by. 215 00:10:39,219 --> 00:10:42,222 His, uh, his snugly old red cardigan. 216 00:10:42,222 --> 00:10:43,723 Jonathan, 217 00:10:43,723 --> 00:10:53,233 go get Mr. Schickel's sweater. 218 00:10:53,233 --> 00:10:55,034 I'm so sorry, Mrs. Schickel. 219 00:10:55,034 --> 00:10:58,037 I know George's passing must be a tremendous loss. 220 00:10:58,037 --> 00:11:02,842 I don't know how I'll manage to fill the void. 221 00:11:02,842 --> 00:11:06,346 Careful with that. It's very valuable. 222 00:11:06,346 --> 00:11:10,550 I'm sure you'll find a way. 223 00:11:11,050 --> 00:11:12,552 Now, if you'll excuse me, 224 00:11:12,552 --> 00:11:13,553 there's so much I have to do. 225 00:11:13,553 --> 00:11:15,555 I can imagine. Back home, 226 00:11:16,055 --> 00:11:17,657 when someone passed away, my mother and Aunt Lulah 227 00:11:17,657 --> 00:11:18,958 were cooking for days. 228 00:11:18,958 --> 00:11:21,561 Cooking? 229 00:11:21,561 --> 00:11:25,064 Well, instead of making the funeral into a mournful occasion, 230 00:11:25,064 --> 00:11:29,569 we tried to turn it into a celebration of our loved one's life. 231 00:11:29,569 --> 00:11:33,072 That's, uh, that's what I plan to do at George's service. 232 00:11:33,172 --> 00:11:37,877 Well, that's very sweet. But really, it's not necessary. 233 00:11:37,877 --> 00:11:39,879 It's necessary for me. 234 00:11:39,979 --> 00:11:41,481 Well unfortunately, there won't be time. 235 00:11:41,981 --> 00:11:42,982 You see, 236 00:11:42,982 --> 00:11:45,985 George was a very important man. 237 00:11:45,985 --> 00:11:49,489 There'll be many... prominent speakers tomorrow, 238 00:11:49,489 --> 00:11:55,194 CEOs, political and spiritual leaders. 239 00:11:55,194 --> 00:12:00,800 Oh, here's the sweater you requested. 240 00:12:01,301 --> 00:12:02,802 Take it, 241 00:12:02,802 --> 00:12:05,805 along with your memories. 242 00:12:06,105 --> 00:12:09,125 I'm sure they'll give you great comfort. 243 00:12:26,626 --> 00:12:28,628 I want him to have a completely different look, 244 00:12:28,628 --> 00:12:30,129 like no one's ever seen before. 245 00:12:30,129 --> 00:12:31,631 And different stories. You know, 246 00:12:31,631 --> 00:12:33,633 not just the same old stuff you see in straight comics. 247 00:12:33,633 --> 00:12:36,135 But you know, our guy's gay. He lives in a gay world. 248 00:12:36,135 --> 00:12:37,737 He has gay sex. 249 00:12:37,737 --> 00:12:40,239 And with his superpowers, plenty of it. 250 00:12:40,239 --> 00:12:42,642 So, what kind of stories? 251 00:12:42,642 --> 00:12:45,144 Well, there was this one story I was thinking about, but... 252 00:12:45,144 --> 00:12:47,146 - What? - Never mind. 253 00:12:47,146 --> 00:12:49,048 Well, come on, tell me. 254 00:12:49,048 --> 00:12:51,551 We're partners now. 255 00:12:51,551 --> 00:12:58,558 We gotta share what's on our minds, it doesn't matter how dumb. 256 00:13:00,059 --> 00:13:03,062 I was thinking Rage could save this kid's life... 257 00:13:03,062 --> 00:13:06,268 after he's bashed. 258 00:13:09,268 --> 00:13:10,770 See, I told you it was a dumb idea. 259 00:13:10,770 --> 00:13:12,772 I never should've brought it up. I'm sorry. 260 00:13:12,772 --> 00:13:15,274 I think it's a great idea. 261 00:13:15,274 --> 00:13:18,277 You do? 262 00:13:18,778 --> 00:13:20,279 I mean, it's awfully personal. 263 00:13:20,279 --> 00:13:22,782 Well, the best art usually is. 264 00:13:22,782 --> 00:13:24,784 Besides, I want to talk about it. 265 00:13:24,784 --> 00:13:26,285 Trouble is, no one seems to want to listen. 266 00:13:26,285 --> 00:13:29,789 I mean, they want to pretend it didn't happen. 267 00:13:30,289 --> 00:13:31,791 Well, now's your chance. 268 00:13:31,791 --> 00:13:35,595 And it could be how Rage meets the love of his life. 269 00:13:35,595 --> 00:13:37,096 I thought Rage didn't believe in love. 270 00:13:38,598 --> 00:13:40,099 We'll let him think that. 271 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:00,521 You're up. 272 00:14:00,921 --> 00:14:02,923 Look again. 273 00:14:02,923 --> 00:14:04,425 And you're late. 274 00:14:04,425 --> 00:14:06,927 - It's after 3:00. - It doesn't count. I was with Michael. 275 00:14:06,927 --> 00:14:08,829 All fucking night? 276 00:14:08,829 --> 00:14:09,830 It felt like five minutes. 277 00:14:10,330 --> 00:14:11,832 And the stuff we came up with is amazing. 278 00:14:11,832 --> 00:14:13,333 It's like we share the same brain. 279 00:14:13,333 --> 00:14:15,335 You get it Monday, Wednesday and Friday, 280 00:14:15,836 --> 00:14:16,837 and he gets it Tuesday and Thursday? 281 00:14:18,338 --> 00:14:19,339 What's that? 282 00:14:19,339 --> 00:14:20,841 Oh, it's research. 283 00:14:20,841 --> 00:14:22,843 Michael wants me to study the illustrations 284 00:14:22,843 --> 00:14:26,346 to soak it all in. 285 00:14:26,847 --> 00:14:28,849 Check out this one. 286 00:14:28,849 --> 00:14:31,871 Come over here. 287 00:14:58,879 --> 00:14:59,880 What? 288 00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:01,482 Put Justin on, quick. 289 00:15:01,482 --> 00:15:03,484 It's fucking 4:00 in the morning. 290 00:15:03,584 --> 00:15:05,586 Creativity doesn't punch a time-clock. 291 00:15:05,586 --> 00:15:08,489 Oh my God, that is so profound. 292 00:15:08,989 --> 00:15:12,993 Can you hold on a minute while I write it down? 293 00:15:12,993 --> 00:15:13,994 You freak. 294 00:15:14,495 --> 00:15:15,996 I just got this idea and I couldn't wait. 295 00:15:15,996 --> 00:15:16,997 What? Quick, tell me. 296 00:15:16,997 --> 00:15:18,499 Maybe we could have... 297 00:15:18,999 --> 00:15:20,000 What... 298 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,504 Nighty-night, Mikey. 299 00:15:23,504 --> 00:15:26,006 That was important. 300 00:15:26,006 --> 00:15:28,542 So is this. 301 00:16:09,049 --> 00:16:11,552 That feels... 302 00:16:11,552 --> 00:16:13,568 good. 303 00:16:50,591 --> 00:16:53,594 I can't think of anything more rewarding and relaxing 304 00:16:53,594 --> 00:16:55,095 than renovating an old attic. 305 00:16:55,095 --> 00:16:57,097 And it's so simple. 306 00:16:57,097 --> 00:17:00,601 You just need a few tools and some well chosen materials, 307 00:17:00,601 --> 00:17:03,604 and in no time that empty space will be transformed 308 00:17:03,604 --> 00:17:05,205 into a cozy living area 309 00:17:05,205 --> 00:17:08,208 that is sure to be one of your favourite places in the house. 310 00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:09,710 I know mine is. 311 00:17:09,710 --> 00:17:13,614 And, most importantly, it'll be... a snap. 312 00:17:13,614 --> 00:17:14,615 Who's this crazy bitch? 313 00:17:14,615 --> 00:17:16,116 It's a remodelling video. 314 00:17:16,116 --> 00:17:17,618 The salesperson at the hardware store 315 00:17:17,618 --> 00:17:18,919 said to follow along 316 00:17:18,919 --> 00:17:20,921 and do exactly as she does. 317 00:17:20,921 --> 00:17:22,623 Well then, you've already fucked up. 318 00:17:23,123 --> 00:17:24,124 How's that? 319 00:17:24,124 --> 00:17:29,129 You're not wearing pearls. 320 00:17:29,129 --> 00:17:32,733 Let's measure our plywood lengthwise. 321 00:17:33,233 --> 00:17:34,735 Here's a tip that I just love: 322 00:17:35,235 --> 00:17:37,437 I always keep a tape measurer on my key chain. 323 00:17:37,437 --> 00:17:38,438 That way, if anything requires... 324 00:17:38,438 --> 00:17:39,940 Excuse me, girls? 325 00:17:39,940 --> 00:17:40,941 Huh? 326 00:17:40,941 --> 00:17:41,942 That's the wrong way. 327 00:17:42,442 --> 00:17:43,944 What do you know? 328 00:17:43,944 --> 00:17:48,248 When it comes to measuring wood, I'm an expert. 329 00:17:48,248 --> 00:17:53,854 Yeah... okay. 330 00:17:53,854 --> 00:17:56,857 See how easy this is? 331 00:17:56,857 --> 00:18:01,061 I told you we don't need Leda. 332 00:18:01,061 --> 00:18:02,562 Do I detect a note of jealousy? 333 00:18:03,063 --> 00:18:05,065 Of Leda? 334 00:18:05,065 --> 00:18:07,067 No, don't be ridiculous. 335 00:18:07,067 --> 00:18:08,969 Then why the fuck didn't you let her help you out? 336 00:18:09,469 --> 00:18:10,470 That's what I'd like to know. 337 00:18:10,470 --> 00:18:11,972 I already told you: 338 00:18:11,972 --> 00:18:13,974 we can do it ourselves. 339 00:18:15,976 --> 00:18:18,478 There, see how easily the plywood cuts? 340 00:18:18,478 --> 00:18:19,980 That nice clean edge. 341 00:18:19,980 --> 00:18:21,982 And never let sawdust go to waste. 342 00:18:21,982 --> 00:18:25,485 I collect up every particle and store it in the freezer. 343 00:18:25,485 --> 00:18:27,287 In the spring, I'll mix it with fresh soil 344 00:18:27,287 --> 00:18:30,290 and have an interesting and inexpensive mulch for my garden. 345 00:18:31,792 --> 00:18:33,093 Hey, hey, whoa! 346 00:18:33,093 --> 00:18:34,995 - Hey, watch where you point that thing. - Yes, yes! 347 00:18:35,495 --> 00:18:36,997 What kind of a dyke are you? 348 00:18:36,997 --> 00:18:39,499 - You can't even handle a power tool? - Oh, go away 349 00:18:39,499 --> 00:18:41,001 and play with your son. 350 00:18:41,001 --> 00:18:42,502 While you've still got your legs. 351 00:18:42,502 --> 00:18:44,004 Yeah, yeah. 352 00:18:44,004 --> 00:18:45,505 Don't we put it over there? 353 00:18:45,505 --> 00:18:47,007 Go with the lines. 354 00:18:47,007 --> 00:18:48,508 We marked it, already. 355 00:18:48,508 --> 00:18:51,011 It's a snap. 356 00:18:51,011 --> 00:18:53,013 George loved his city. 357 00:18:53,013 --> 00:18:54,514 He loved his company. 358 00:18:54,514 --> 00:18:58,018 But most of all, he loved his family. 359 00:18:58,518 --> 00:19:02,022 I'm reminded of a story that he and his devoted wife, Virginia, 360 00:19:02,022 --> 00:19:03,523 once relayed to me. 361 00:19:04,024 --> 00:19:07,027 One day, their daughter Frankie came home from school, 362 00:19:07,027 --> 00:19:09,529 upset to have learned of hungry children, 363 00:19:09,529 --> 00:19:11,031 victims of an earthquake in South America... 364 00:19:11,031 --> 00:19:13,433 This is some event. 365 00:19:13,433 --> 00:19:15,435 Everybody who's anybody's here. 366 00:19:15,435 --> 00:19:17,437 Yeah, everybody who didn't want anything to do with George 367 00:19:17,437 --> 00:19:18,939 when he was alive. 368 00:19:19,439 --> 00:19:21,441 All the more reason I'm glad I came. 369 00:19:21,441 --> 00:19:22,943 Let's find a seat. 370 00:19:22,943 --> 00:19:24,945 ...A family man caring for families. 371 00:19:24,945 --> 00:19:28,749 That's what George Schickel was all about. 372 00:19:28,749 --> 00:19:31,251 And I, for one, will miss him deeply. 373 00:19:36,857 --> 00:19:41,161 We've heard many tributes to George Schickel this afternoon. 374 00:19:41,161 --> 00:19:44,464 It's obvious that this much beloved man 375 00:19:44,464 --> 00:19:47,467 - not only brought nourishment to the world... - Go on. 376 00:19:47,467 --> 00:19:49,970 - through the pickle the people prefer... - Now's your chance. 377 00:19:50,470 --> 00:19:52,973 - but also emotional nourishment... - Just do it. 378 00:19:53,073 --> 00:19:56,076 To his family, to his community, 379 00:19:56,076 --> 00:19:59,079 - indeed to all of Pittsburgh... - I'd like to... 380 00:19:59,079 --> 00:20:00,080 say something. 381 00:20:07,187 --> 00:20:09,189 Sorry, sir. 382 00:20:09,189 --> 00:20:11,691 - It's for friends and family only. - I am a friend. 383 00:20:11,691 --> 00:20:13,193 I'm more than a friend. 384 00:20:13,193 --> 00:20:15,195 Take your... let go of me! 385 00:20:15,195 --> 00:20:17,197 - Okay, I... look, I... - Take your hands off of him! 386 00:20:17,197 --> 00:20:18,999 Teddy! 387 00:20:19,499 --> 00:20:22,002 Just take your hands off of him! 388 00:20:22,002 --> 00:20:25,405 Will everyone please rise for the 23rd Psalm? 389 00:20:44,224 --> 00:20:45,725 Okay. 390 00:20:45,725 --> 00:20:47,227 Good... wait. That's really good. 391 00:20:47,227 --> 00:20:49,830 Could you make his jaw a little wider? 392 00:20:51,531 --> 00:20:52,532 That's perfect. It looks just like... 393 00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:55,936 Excuse me, has anyone seen my fucking floor? 394 00:20:55,936 --> 00:20:57,437 Uh-oh! Don't get him mad. 395 00:20:57,938 --> 00:20:59,439 Yeah, or he'll emit his telekinetic death stare 396 00:20:59,439 --> 00:21:02,843 and make your head explode. 397 00:21:02,843 --> 00:21:03,844 That's one of his powers. 398 00:21:04,244 --> 00:21:05,745 He can control your mind whenever he wants. 399 00:21:05,745 --> 00:21:07,547 Huh, yeah well... 400 00:21:07,547 --> 00:21:11,451 what I want is my loft. 401 00:21:11,451 --> 00:21:12,953 - Wait, don't touch those. - Hey, those are in sequence. 402 00:21:12,953 --> 00:21:14,454 Don't walk that way. 403 00:21:14,454 --> 00:21:15,956 Well, how the hell am I supposed to get to my bedroom? 404 00:21:16,456 --> 00:21:17,958 - Go around. - Yeah. 405 00:21:18,158 --> 00:21:19,159 Uh-huh. 406 00:21:19,659 --> 00:21:22,562 Hey! 407 00:21:24,564 --> 00:21:26,867 So, here is where Zephyr tries to stop Rage 408 00:21:26,867 --> 00:21:28,368 from using his hetero-blaster. 409 00:21:28,568 --> 00:21:30,570 Do you think Zephyr could be a little taller 410 00:21:30,570 --> 00:21:33,573 - and have bigger pecs? - What for? 411 00:21:33,573 --> 00:21:35,575 Well, he is Rage's best friend. He's... 412 00:21:35,575 --> 00:21:37,577 He should look almost as good. 413 00:21:37,577 --> 00:21:40,080 You got it, Zeph. 414 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,381 You know, speaking of pecs, 415 00:21:41,381 --> 00:21:42,883 it's "Chest of Death" night 416 00:21:42,883 --> 00:21:44,885 at Babylon. 417 00:21:44,885 --> 00:21:46,386 Okay. 418 00:21:46,586 --> 00:21:48,088 So get ready. 419 00:21:48,188 --> 00:21:49,689 We gotta finish this first. 420 00:21:49,689 --> 00:21:51,691 We'll meet you there. 421 00:21:51,691 --> 00:21:53,694 Well just remember, all work and no dick 422 00:21:53,694 --> 00:21:56,797 make Mikey and Sunshine dull boys. 423 00:21:58,299 --> 00:21:59,800 Bring it down, bring it down. 424 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:03,804 Okay. We're down to our six finalists. 425 00:22:04,305 --> 00:22:08,009 Who's the man with the hottest pecs in Pittsburgh? 426 00:22:08,009 --> 00:22:10,011 Ooh. Honey, 427 00:22:10,011 --> 00:22:12,914 are those nipples or bathtub stoppers? 428 00:22:15,216 --> 00:22:16,717 All right, boys. 429 00:22:16,717 --> 00:22:18,719 Come on, now, let's make some noise! 430 00:22:18,719 --> 00:22:20,721 Let's hear it, Babylon, let's hear it. 431 00:22:20,721 --> 00:22:22,223 That's it, you know how. 432 00:22:24,225 --> 00:22:25,726 To be thrown out, 433 00:22:25,726 --> 00:22:27,728 - like so much garbage. - I know. 434 00:22:27,728 --> 00:22:29,230 - It was awful. - By those two huge, 435 00:22:29,730 --> 00:22:32,733 - brutal monsters. - Under other circumstances, 436 00:22:32,733 --> 00:22:35,736 it might've been hot. 437 00:22:35,736 --> 00:22:39,240 Guess I'll never get to say my speech now. 438 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,742 You can say it to me. 439 00:22:41,742 --> 00:22:44,245 I'll listen. 440 00:22:44,245 --> 00:22:47,748 Thanks, Teddy, I... 441 00:22:47,748 --> 00:22:51,752 Wouldn't be the same. 442 00:22:51,752 --> 00:22:53,754 Em... 443 00:22:53,754 --> 00:22:56,257 Something tells me we've been stood up. 444 00:22:56,257 --> 00:22:59,560 Over a comic book. 445 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:03,064 More than just a comic book. 446 00:23:03,064 --> 00:23:06,067 It's nothing as sexual as the act of creation. 447 00:23:06,067 --> 00:23:08,569 When... when I'm writing, and it's... 448 00:23:08,569 --> 00:23:10,571 it's pouring out of me, 449 00:23:10,571 --> 00:23:13,074 I swear to God, I'm like, completely turned on. 450 00:23:13,574 --> 00:23:15,576 Sometimes, I even get a hard-on. 451 00:23:15,576 --> 00:23:18,079 Is that what they mean by "stroke of genius?" 452 00:23:18,079 --> 00:23:21,082 It's the fucking greatest orgasm there is. 453 00:23:21,082 --> 00:23:23,084 You have your orgasms between the pages, 454 00:23:23,084 --> 00:23:24,585 I'll have mine between the sheets. 455 00:23:24,585 --> 00:23:26,087 Number five, 456 00:23:26,087 --> 00:23:28,589 Do you have anything you'd like to get off your chest? 457 00:23:28,589 --> 00:23:30,091 How about me? 458 00:23:32,893 --> 00:23:34,895 I bet it's the same with Michael and Justin. 459 00:23:34,895 --> 00:23:36,397 Can I hear a little noise from over here? 460 00:23:36,397 --> 00:23:37,898 What they're sharing 461 00:23:37,898 --> 00:23:41,902 is the most intense form of intimacy there is. 462 00:23:41,902 --> 00:23:44,405 Nothing, not even the hottest fuck in the world, can come close. 463 00:23:44,405 --> 00:23:48,109 Okay, now... sweetie... 464 00:23:48,109 --> 00:23:50,611 Let's have another drink... 465 00:23:50,611 --> 00:23:52,113 while our boyfriends are cheating on us. 466 00:23:52,613 --> 00:23:54,104 ...we're not gonna make him talk, don't worry. 467 00:23:54,115 --> 00:23:56,117 Now, come on, boys, now let's make some noise. 468 00:23:56,617 --> 00:23:59,120 Come on, Babylon. Take it up, come on. 469 00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:00,621 That's it, bring it up... 470 00:24:00,621 --> 00:24:02,123 See? 471 00:24:02,623 --> 00:24:04,625 I told you we could do it. 472 00:24:05,126 --> 00:24:06,627 Yeah, we did it all right. 473 00:24:07,128 --> 00:24:08,129 It's a mess. 474 00:24:08,229 --> 00:24:09,730 It's not so bad. 475 00:24:09,730 --> 00:24:11,232 After we plaster it over, 476 00:24:11,232 --> 00:24:18,039 the few little imperfections won't even show. 477 00:24:22,543 --> 00:24:25,046 Installing your new sink will be... a snap. 478 00:24:25,046 --> 00:24:27,348 Everything with this bitch is a snap. 479 00:24:27,348 --> 00:24:28,849 We've already attached it to the wall 480 00:24:28,849 --> 00:24:30,351 and it only took 20 minutes. 481 00:24:30,351 --> 00:24:32,353 Try 7 hours and 20 minutes. 482 00:24:32,353 --> 00:24:36,357 Now, let's connect the sink to our pipes. 483 00:24:36,357 --> 00:24:37,158 Take your wrench... 484 00:24:37,158 --> 00:24:38,659 - Got it. - ...and in a strong, 485 00:24:38,659 --> 00:24:39,660 circular motion, 486 00:24:40,161 --> 00:24:43,164 twist the end of the pipe, like so. 487 00:24:43,164 --> 00:24:45,366 That's it. Give it a nice strong grip. 488 00:24:45,366 --> 00:24:49,372 - You'll find this... - Mel, can you help me out here? 489 00:24:51,372 --> 00:24:53,874 Now we can attach our pipes. 490 00:24:53,874 --> 00:24:56,377 It's a snap. 491 00:24:57,878 --> 00:24:59,280 Luckily, 492 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:00,781 we turned off the water main first, 493 00:25:00,781 --> 00:25:03,284 or we'd have a disaster on our hands. 494 00:25:03,284 --> 00:25:04,285 Didn't you turn off the water? 495 00:25:04,785 --> 00:25:06,287 I was going to, 496 00:25:06,287 --> 00:25:08,289 but then you said, "No, I'll turn it off." 497 00:25:08,289 --> 00:25:10,291 No, that was the power. 498 00:25:10,291 --> 00:25:12,293 I turned off the power when I did the wiring. 499 00:25:12,293 --> 00:25:17,198 You mean, when you blew out the fuses! 500 00:25:17,198 --> 00:25:20,901 There. Now you have running water in your attic. 501 00:25:28,409 --> 00:25:31,412 Come on in. 502 00:25:31,912 --> 00:25:33,914 We're going to have a little contest of our own. 503 00:25:33,914 --> 00:25:35,416 Some power pecs? 504 00:25:35,416 --> 00:25:36,417 Power peckers. 505 00:25:38,419 --> 00:25:40,421 Careful, don't... don't step on anything, it... 506 00:25:40,421 --> 00:25:46,427 it's all in sequence. 507 00:25:46,427 --> 00:25:49,332 Rise and shine, Sunshine. 508 00:26:00,541 --> 00:26:01,542 Shit. 509 00:26:03,844 --> 00:26:05,846 Go down, go down. Yeah. 510 00:26:07,348 --> 00:26:08,849 Party's over. 511 00:26:08,849 --> 00:26:10,351 Come on. Join us. 512 00:26:10,851 --> 00:26:11,852 Get your clothes on. 513 00:26:11,863 --> 00:26:13,354 - Put your clothes back on. - What the fuck, what the fuck? 514 00:26:13,354 --> 00:26:15,856 Just get out, okay? 515 00:26:15,856 --> 00:26:17,358 Get out! 516 00:26:17,858 --> 00:26:19,360 - Go. - Fuck you. 517 00:26:25,766 --> 00:26:27,067 Fuck, fuck! 518 00:27:06,907 --> 00:27:08,309 Fuck. 519 00:27:36,737 --> 00:27:38,939 What the fuck? 520 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:40,941 I thought you were Ben. 521 00:27:40,941 --> 00:27:43,444 I thought you were Brian. 522 00:27:43,444 --> 00:27:47,448 - I guess we fell asleep. - Yeah. 523 00:27:47,948 --> 00:27:49,950 Brian? 524 00:27:49,950 --> 00:27:56,957 He must've slept on the couch. 525 00:27:57,458 --> 00:28:00,966 Michael. 526 00:28:05,966 --> 00:28:08,769 Holy shit! 527 00:28:26,086 --> 00:28:27,087 Did you do this? 528 00:28:27,588 --> 00:28:29,590 Did you? 529 00:28:29,590 --> 00:28:32,893 Answer us. 530 00:28:32,893 --> 00:28:34,895 You are totally fucked. 531 00:28:34,895 --> 00:28:36,897 How dare you piss on our work? 532 00:28:37,398 --> 00:28:38,499 Do you have any idea 533 00:28:38,499 --> 00:28:39,999 The hours that we put into that? 534 00:28:40,301 --> 00:28:41,302 We want an explanation. 535 00:28:41,802 --> 00:28:44,803 Besides the fact that you're the world's biggest prick. 536 00:28:44,805 --> 00:28:46,307 Well, don't just sit there. 537 00:28:46,307 --> 00:28:49,717 Say something. 538 00:28:56,717 --> 00:28:59,320 Come on, let's go. 539 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,722 One last thing. 540 00:29:01,722 --> 00:29:04,731 You're the one who's pathetic. 541 00:29:11,131 --> 00:29:12,633 Give me a minute between rounds, 542 00:29:12,633 --> 00:29:14,635 then you can have a go at me. 543 00:29:15,035 --> 00:29:17,538 Article 14 of the Super-Mom handbook 544 00:29:17,538 --> 00:29:19,840 says no kicking assholes when they're down. 545 00:29:19,850 --> 00:29:22,343 They'd take away my halo. 546 00:29:22,843 --> 00:29:25,045 I'm not an asshole, I'm just drawn that way. 547 00:29:25,045 --> 00:29:26,547 Well I'm sorry to disagree with you, kiddo, 548 00:29:27,047 --> 00:29:29,049 but this time the likeness is accurate. 549 00:29:29,149 --> 00:29:30,150 I thought you weren't going to beat me up. 550 00:29:30,351 --> 00:29:32,653 Let me finish. 551 00:29:32,653 --> 00:29:36,156 But I understand. 552 00:29:36,156 --> 00:29:37,458 'Cause you're jealous. 553 00:29:37,958 --> 00:29:40,461 I don't do jealous. Jealous is for lesbians. 554 00:29:40,961 --> 00:29:43,364 Well then, you'd better start liking pussy. 555 00:29:43,364 --> 00:29:45,366 'Cause you got a little green-eyed monster inside you 556 00:29:45,366 --> 00:29:47,167 that is eating your gut. 557 00:29:47,167 --> 00:29:50,371 You mean that's not the coffee? 558 00:29:50,371 --> 00:29:52,362 I figured you'd have some smart-ass remark 559 00:29:52,373 --> 00:29:54,475 and deny your feelings as always. 560 00:29:54,475 --> 00:29:57,978 But you don't fool me. 561 00:29:57,978 --> 00:29:59,980 'Cause if you didn't love them as much as you do, 562 00:29:59,980 --> 00:30:01,482 you wouldn't give a shit 563 00:30:01,982 --> 00:30:02,983 that they're spending time together, 564 00:30:03,485 --> 00:30:07,489 and sharing something you're not a part of. 565 00:30:07,989 --> 00:30:08,990 What you don't get is, 566 00:30:08,990 --> 00:30:10,992 that they feel the same way about you. 567 00:30:10,992 --> 00:30:19,401 Even more so. 568 00:30:19,401 --> 00:30:21,302 They worship the ground you walk on. 569 00:30:21,403 --> 00:30:24,005 Or can't you see it? 570 00:30:24,005 --> 00:30:28,910 You're their fucking hero. 571 00:30:28,910 --> 00:30:31,416 At least you were. 572 00:30:41,823 --> 00:30:43,825 It's the Night of Nights. 573 00:30:43,825 --> 00:30:47,328 What everyone in the industry has waited for all year. 574 00:30:47,328 --> 00:30:51,833 When the Grenada Inn is transformed into an x-Rated Xanadu. 575 00:30:51,833 --> 00:30:54,335 Then, after the ceremonies, 576 00:30:54,335 --> 00:30:55,837 there's the Governor's Ball. 577 00:30:55,837 --> 00:30:59,340 Every porn star will be there, in person. 578 00:30:59,340 --> 00:31:04,045 Zack O'Tool, Roger Morehead, Will Hardin. 579 00:31:04,045 --> 00:31:06,548 Only, this time... 580 00:31:06,548 --> 00:31:09,050 you're one of them, Emmett. 581 00:31:09,050 --> 00:31:14,055 The possible new-cummer of the year. 582 00:31:14,055 --> 00:31:16,057 Pickle? 583 00:31:16,558 --> 00:31:19,060 Did you hear what I just said? 584 00:31:19,060 --> 00:31:23,565 You know, when I put George's sweater on... 585 00:31:23,565 --> 00:31:28,570 I feel like his arms are still around me. 586 00:31:28,570 --> 00:31:32,073 His, uh... his smell's still on it. That, uh... 587 00:31:32,073 --> 00:31:35,577 that delicate combination of vanilla and... 588 00:31:35,577 --> 00:31:37,378 dill. 589 00:31:37,378 --> 00:31:40,381 Emmett... George wouldn't want you to be a hermit. 590 00:31:40,381 --> 00:31:43,885 He was one. For years. 591 00:31:43,885 --> 00:31:46,387 And now I understand why. 592 00:31:46,387 --> 00:31:48,389 Listen to me. 593 00:31:48,890 --> 00:31:50,391 If you let those people take your pride, 594 00:31:50,391 --> 00:31:53,384 then they've won. It's more important than ever 595 00:31:53,394 --> 00:31:54,896 that you get out and celebrate. 596 00:31:54,896 --> 00:31:57,899 Celebrate what, that I whacked off on your web site? 597 00:31:57,899 --> 00:32:00,902 That you made a lot of people happy. 598 00:32:00,902 --> 00:32:06,407 Especially George. 599 00:32:06,407 --> 00:32:11,412 Sorry, Teddy. 600 00:32:11,412 --> 00:32:15,416 Well, all right. Well that was my last, and my best, plea. 601 00:32:16,918 --> 00:32:21,923 If you win, I'll accept your Crystal Dick. 602 00:32:22,423 --> 00:32:29,931 And tell the world how proud I am of you. 603 00:32:32,734 --> 00:32:34,736 Fucking asshole, he ruined everything. 604 00:32:34,736 --> 00:32:36,738 At least we backed up everything on your computer. 605 00:32:36,738 --> 00:32:38,239 Otherwise we'd really be fucked. 606 00:32:38,239 --> 00:32:39,741 Yeah, now we just have to reprint everything 607 00:32:39,741 --> 00:32:42,233 on another couple hundred dollars' worth of inkjet paper. 608 00:32:42,243 --> 00:32:45,246 We'll send Brian the bill. 609 00:32:45,747 --> 00:32:48,249 Look, we both know how he can get when he's pissed. 610 00:32:48,249 --> 00:32:49,751 What, that we're doing a comic book? 611 00:32:49,751 --> 00:32:51,753 Well, we did kind of exclude him. 612 00:32:51,753 --> 00:32:53,254 We were working. 613 00:32:53,755 --> 00:32:57,759 In his place. In his face. 614 00:32:58,259 --> 00:33:00,261 Last night, we even wound up in his bed. 615 00:33:00,762 --> 00:33:02,263 It's not like we were fucking. 616 00:33:02,764 --> 00:33:07,769 Well, I guess even a superhero can morph into a jerk. 617 00:33:07,769 --> 00:33:10,772 - Don't tell me you're gonna forgive him. - Who said that? 618 00:33:10,772 --> 00:33:12,774 Knowing you guys' dysfunctional history, 619 00:33:13,274 --> 00:33:13,775 you'd put up with anything. 620 00:33:14,275 --> 00:33:15,377 Well, you'll be happy to know 621 00:33:15,387 --> 00:33:19,380 that even a glutton for punishment eventually gets his fill. 622 00:33:19,380 --> 00:33:21,883 All this time, I've been fooling myself. 623 00:33:21,883 --> 00:33:24,385 Thinking he loves me. 624 00:33:24,385 --> 00:33:27,388 He does love you. 625 00:33:27,388 --> 00:33:29,390 You saw his face this morning. 626 00:33:29,401 --> 00:33:31,893 We could've removed his teeth with pliers and he would've have let us. 627 00:33:32,393 --> 00:33:34,996 Maybe we should've. He deserves it. 628 00:33:35,496 --> 00:33:36,497 Well at least now, 629 00:33:36,497 --> 00:33:38,499 we know what Rage's fatal weakness is, 630 00:33:38,499 --> 00:33:42,503 and it isn't kryptonite. 631 00:33:45,306 --> 00:33:46,808 Ladies and gentlemen, 632 00:33:47,308 --> 00:33:50,812 please welcome last year's winner for Best Bottom in a gangbang 633 00:33:50,812 --> 00:33:54,816 and three-time nominee for Best Jerk-off, solo, 634 00:33:54,816 --> 00:33:57,318 Buff Thompson and Jason Cox. 635 00:34:03,324 --> 00:34:04,626 Wow, Jace. 636 00:34:04,626 --> 00:34:07,629 Three-time nominee for Best Jerk-off. 637 00:34:07,629 --> 00:34:09,130 Are you up this year? 638 00:34:09,130 --> 00:34:11,132 I'm up every year, Buff. 639 00:34:12,433 --> 00:34:14,636 Maybe this time I'll pull it off. 640 00:34:14,636 --> 00:34:16,638 Don't pull it off, or you'll never win. 641 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:22,043 Now, let's get to the nominees. 642 00:34:22,043 --> 00:34:24,746 In the porn site category, the nominees... 643 00:34:24,746 --> 00:34:29,651 for Best New-Cummer of the Year are... 644 00:34:29,651 --> 00:34:31,653 Max Pullman. 645 00:34:32,153 --> 00:34:34,355 Harry Lynch. 646 00:34:34,355 --> 00:34:37,058 Fetch Dixon. 647 00:34:37,058 --> 00:34:39,661 Joey Horn. 648 00:34:39,661 --> 00:34:42,964 And the winner is... 649 00:34:42,964 --> 00:34:44,465 Fetch Dixon. 650 00:34:45,667 --> 00:34:46,668 Yes! Yes! 651 00:34:46,668 --> 00:34:50,675 Oh, yes! Yes! Whoo! 652 00:34:53,675 --> 00:34:55,681 Oh, yeah, baby. Whoo! 653 00:35:02,183 --> 00:35:08,189 Oh... wow. 654 00:35:08,189 --> 00:35:09,691 All those years watching Jason Cox, 655 00:35:10,191 --> 00:35:12,193 I can't believe I finally got to shake his hand... 656 00:35:13,194 --> 00:35:17,198 The Hand. 657 00:35:17,198 --> 00:35:20,001 Oh, my God. 658 00:35:20,501 --> 00:35:22,003 To be holding a Crystal Dick... 659 00:35:24,005 --> 00:35:26,808 Such a thrill. 660 00:35:28,309 --> 00:35:30,611 Um... oh, uh... no, I'm... 661 00:35:30,611 --> 00:35:33,114 I'm not, uh, Fetch, uh, Dixon. 662 00:35:33,114 --> 00:35:35,616 Um, I'm... I'm here, uh, 663 00:35:35,616 --> 00:35:37,618 accepting for him tonight, uh, because... 664 00:35:37,618 --> 00:35:39,120 - He was... - Because... 665 00:35:43,224 --> 00:35:44,726 boys... 666 00:35:45,026 --> 00:35:46,527 without you, Ted Schmidt, 667 00:35:46,527 --> 00:35:49,030 I would never be here tonight. 668 00:36:02,543 --> 00:36:05,546 Uh... thank you. Um... 669 00:36:05,546 --> 00:36:08,549 This award, uh, means a... a lot to me. 670 00:36:08,549 --> 00:36:10,551 More than you'll ever know. 671 00:36:10,551 --> 00:36:13,054 Uh... if I hadn't been on, um... 672 00:36:13,054 --> 00:36:15,056 jerk@work.net, 673 00:36:15,556 --> 00:36:19,560 I never would've met the most wonderful man I've ever known, 674 00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:21,562 George Schickel. 675 00:36:21,562 --> 00:36:22,764 Shickel's Pickles? 676 00:36:22,764 --> 00:36:25,266 The pickle people prefer? 677 00:36:25,266 --> 00:36:28,770 Um, I, uh... I have this speech prepared. 678 00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:31,780 Didn't think I'd get a chance to read it. 679 00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,182 To the world, 680 00:36:41,182 --> 00:36:46,187 George Schickel was a man of prominence and wealth. 681 00:36:46,687 --> 00:36:51,192 But to me, he was just... George. 682 00:36:51,692 --> 00:36:56,197 Loving, affectionate, a boy at heart 683 00:36:56,197 --> 00:37:01,702 who just wanted to love another boy. 684 00:37:01,702 --> 00:37:06,707 I was lucky enough to be that boy. 685 00:37:07,208 --> 00:37:12,213 I like to think I brought a little fun into his life. 686 00:37:12,213 --> 00:37:16,717 But what he gave me was... so much more. 687 00:37:16,717 --> 00:37:20,723 Some... something all his money couldn't buy. 688 00:37:22,723 --> 00:37:24,225 He made me... 689 00:37:24,225 --> 00:37:27,234 feel like I was somebody. 690 00:37:33,234 --> 00:37:36,237 I love you, Georgie. 691 00:37:36,237 --> 00:37:37,738 What we had for a... 692 00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:39,740 for a few short months 693 00:37:39,740 --> 00:37:44,245 was more than most people have in a lifetime. 694 00:37:44,245 --> 00:37:45,746 Thank you. 695 00:38:09,370 --> 00:38:12,373 I'm glad you two dames finally came to your senses. 696 00:38:12,874 --> 00:38:14,877 If you'd made any more of a mess, 697 00:38:14,877 --> 00:38:16,879 I'd have to detonate, not renovate. 698 00:38:19,381 --> 00:38:21,383 Okay we know, we know, we really screwed up. 699 00:38:21,884 --> 00:38:22,874 Big time, babe. 700 00:38:22,885 --> 00:38:24,487 But, it's not too late. 701 00:38:24,497 --> 00:38:27,389 So, how long do you think it'll take to undo the damage? 702 00:38:27,390 --> 00:38:31,397 All depends on the triangle of expectation. 703 00:38:35,397 --> 00:38:38,700 You can have it fast... 704 00:38:38,700 --> 00:38:42,704 and cheap, but it won't be good. 705 00:38:43,205 --> 00:38:44,206 You can have it good and fast, 706 00:38:44,206 --> 00:38:45,207 but that won't be cheap. 707 00:38:45,207 --> 00:38:48,710 Or you can have it cheap and good, 708 00:38:48,710 --> 00:38:51,213 but it won't be fast. 709 00:38:51,213 --> 00:38:53,715 So in other words, it'll be ready next Tu BiShvat. 710 00:38:53,715 --> 00:38:56,718 Or Christmas, whichever comes first. 711 00:38:56,718 --> 00:38:59,221 But not to worry, ladies... 712 00:38:59,221 --> 00:39:01,723 you won't even know I'm here. 713 00:39:01,723 --> 00:39:03,725 Oh... 714 00:39:03,725 --> 00:39:06,228 Oh. 715 00:39:09,531 --> 00:39:11,533 Well, good night, Leeds. 716 00:39:11,533 --> 00:39:14,536 Good night... sugar-lips. 717 00:39:14,536 --> 00:39:17,048 I'll be right up. 718 00:39:26,048 --> 00:39:29,051 I just want to say how grateful I am you're doing this. 719 00:39:29,051 --> 00:39:32,554 And how happy I am you're here. 720 00:39:32,554 --> 00:39:36,058 You and me both, otherwise I'd be sleeping in the park. 721 00:39:36,558 --> 00:39:40,562 Although I must admit, I had my reservations. 722 00:39:41,063 --> 00:39:43,065 I know. 723 00:39:43,065 --> 00:39:45,567 But you've got nothing to worry about. 724 00:39:45,567 --> 00:39:49,071 Mel loves you very much. 725 00:39:49,571 --> 00:39:52,698 Thanks. 726 00:40:16,698 --> 00:40:19,201 - What the fuck? - Everything's back. 727 00:40:19,701 --> 00:40:23,205 Careful, boys. 728 00:40:23,205 --> 00:40:24,706 Don't step on anything. 729 00:40:25,007 --> 00:40:28,510 All right, Kinney, what's going on? 730 00:40:28,510 --> 00:40:31,313 I read your shit. It's fucking good. 731 00:40:31,313 --> 00:40:33,215 And the artwork is... 732 00:40:33,215 --> 00:40:34,716 art. 733 00:40:35,217 --> 00:40:37,719 But that's to be expected. 734 00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:39,621 Don't try talking your way out of this with compliments, dickhead. 735 00:40:39,621 --> 00:40:42,113 Yeah, and don't think that just by putting everything back the way it was, 736 00:40:42,124 --> 00:40:43,125 we're just going to forget. 737 00:40:43,125 --> 00:40:46,128 - You owe us an apology. - So start begging. 738 00:40:46,128 --> 00:40:48,630 I'm sorry. 739 00:40:48,630 --> 00:40:50,132 That's not good enough. 740 00:40:50,132 --> 00:40:51,133 What the fuck do you want me to do, 741 00:40:51,633 --> 00:40:52,534 grovel? 742 00:40:52,534 --> 00:40:57,939 Mean it. 743 00:40:57,939 --> 00:41:00,442 What I did was immature, 744 00:41:00,442 --> 00:41:02,444 childish, vindictive. 745 00:41:02,944 --> 00:41:03,945 It was an act of cruelty 746 00:41:04,046 --> 00:41:06,048 based on irrational fears and unfounded... 747 00:41:06,448 --> 00:41:09,453 jealousy. 748 00:41:11,453 --> 00:41:15,957 If I were the two of you, I'd never speak to me again. 749 00:41:16,458 --> 00:41:17,959 That's better. 750 00:41:17,959 --> 00:41:20,462 That's really good. 751 00:41:20,462 --> 00:41:21,963 So why is it that I prefer you 752 00:41:21,963 --> 00:41:24,466 when you're shameless and unapologetic? 753 00:41:24,466 --> 00:41:26,468 Now, here's the deal. 754 00:41:26,468 --> 00:41:27,969 Finish your work, 755 00:41:27,969 --> 00:41:28,970 and build up my chin. 756 00:41:28,970 --> 00:41:30,972 I'm a superhero, for Christ's sakes. 757 00:41:30,972 --> 00:41:33,475 And when you're done, I'll put together a marketing campaign 758 00:41:33,475 --> 00:41:38,480 that'll make every fag on the internet want to buy it. 759 00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:40,482 That is, if... 760 00:41:40,982 --> 00:41:43,190 you want me to. 761 00:41:48,190 --> 00:41:55,697 - Deal. - Deal. 762 00:41:59,601 --> 00:42:02,404 So where'd we leave off? 763 00:42:02,404 --> 00:42:04,406 Oh, yeah. Where, um... 764 00:42:04,406 --> 00:42:07,609 Zephyr gets jealous. 765 00:42:07,609 --> 00:42:11,612 Good. Rage took J.T. Back to his lair, on top of Theopolis. 766 00:42:12,114 --> 00:42:14,116 - Right. - Then they had amazing sex. 767 00:42:14,616 --> 00:42:17,119 - Wait. Where's Zephyr now? - I don't know. 768 00:42:17,119 --> 00:42:18,919 Getting his tights? 769 00:42:19,419 --> 00:42:21,819 You know, Zephyr gets to have sex once in a while too.