1
00:00:00,935 --> 00:00:01,900
<i>Africa.</i>

2
00:00:01,936 --> 00:00:03,335
<i>Where it all began.</i>

3
00:00:03,371 --> 00:00:04,737
<i>The first fire.</i>

4
00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:06,672
<i>The first man to stand up.</i>

5
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,741
<i>And the first stand-up man.</i>

6
00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:11,010
<i>The stand-up man
flourished bringing joy</i>

7
00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:13,412
<i>and a good date night to
millions of villagers</i>

8
00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:15,080
<i>before he eventually migrated,</i>

9
00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:19,284
<i>bringing stand-up comedy
here, here, and here.</i>

10
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:20,886
<i>But oddly, never here.</i>

11
00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:24,056
<i>As comedy flourished
abroad the African</i>

12
00:00:24,091 --> 00:00:26,158
<i>stand-up man disappeared.</i>

13
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,326
<i>Until now.</i>

14
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:37,369
<i>Ladies and gentlemen.</i>

15
00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:39,571
<i>Please welcome Trevor Noah.</i>

16
00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:46,578
Thank you.

17
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:51,950
Thumbs up.

18
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:54,053
Thank you.

19
00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:54,820
Thank you.

20
00:00:58,592 --> 00:00:59,425
Thank you.

21
00:01:00,795 --> 00:01:01,293
Thank you.

22
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:01,927
<i>Good evening.</i>

23
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:02,761
<i>How you guys doing?</i>

24
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:06,565
I guess that means good.

25
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,801
That's what the
sounds means, right?

26
00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:09,735
<i>Whoo.</i>

27
00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,303
<i>There's no sound for sad.</i>

28
00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:12,404
Does anyone make that sound?

29
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:13,205
How you feeling?

30
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,373
Whoa, no's.

31
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:15,974
It's really just that.

32
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:17,042
Thank you very much
for having me.

33
00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:18,010
Thanks for coming out.

34
00:01:18,045 --> 00:01:20,145
You guys are looking
great and relaxed.

35
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:21,780
Nice weather isn't it?

36
00:01:21,816 --> 00:01:23,282
Yeah, it's very chilled out.

37
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:25,384
<i>I just got back from Atlanta.</i>

38
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:29,388
<i>It was 107 degrees Fahrenheit.</i>

39
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:29,955
Yeah.

40
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,223
Hottest weather.

41
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,558
Worst thing is everyone comes
up to me and they go well,

42
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:35,527
you must be used to this being
from Africa and-- no, I'm not.

43
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:38,163
I'm from Africa
but that shit is hot.

44
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:41,133
That was just-- no.

45
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:43,168
I was scared to go jogging
'cause I thought if I ran

46
00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:45,337
out in the streets and
fainted wouldn't the local

47
00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:46,438
news love that?

48
00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:48,941
I'd be running and I'd
fall down in the heat.

49
00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:50,676
They would have their
vans reporting live.

50
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:52,010
They'd be standing going

51
00:01:52,046 --> 00:01:54,646
so hot in Atlanta
even Africans are fainting.

52
00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:00,786
So, I'm enjoying this.

53
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:02,988
Really happy to be
here, you know?

54
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:05,090
This is gonna be
good for us I hope.

55
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:07,159
I say I hope because I never
know with stand-up comedy.

56
00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:10,395
<i>It's just, you know, it's an
awkward experience I find.</i>

57
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:11,697
<i>I'm always nervous.</i>

58
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:14,466
<i>'Cause I find comedy is
very similar to sex for me.</i>

59
00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:18,470
Well, it's exactly like sex
when you think about it.

60
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:20,873
With me, the comedian,
playing the role of the man.

61
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:22,741
And you, the audience,
the role of the woman.

62
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,512
'Cause it's my
job to satisfy you.

63
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,082
And you just have to sit there.

64
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:41,493
And then just like sex,
my success or failure

65
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:43,962
will somehow be determined
by how much noise you

66
00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:45,430
make during my performance.

67
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,934
Which makes it a
one-sided affair I feel.

68
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:50,068
You know?

69
00:02:50,104 --> 00:02:50,435
Yes.

70
00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:51,370
Yeah.

71
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:52,137
I mean, maybe you're
the quiet type.

72
00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:56,275
I hope we have magic tonight.

73
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,143
I hope we create
something wonderful.

74
00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:00,112
I mean, for many of us
it's our first time together

75
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:01,213
and that means
it might be awkward.

76
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:02,181
I understand this.

77
00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:04,116
And if that's the
case I want you to

78
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:05,951
know that I'll look
into your eyes,

79
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,153
I'll see that I'm freaking
you out, and I'll stop.

80
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,290
I'll stop and I'll
flip you back over

81
00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:12,824
and we'll go back to
the simple stuff.

82
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:14,693
Yes.

83
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:15,294
OK?

84
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,133
<i>I've been in America
for a few months now</i>

85
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,802
<i>and I'm really just
thrown by the place.</i>

86
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,938
<i>It's not what I expected at all.</i>

87
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:28,040
Different from the
brochures and the pamphlets.

88
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:30,409
There's many
assumptions I had about

89
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:32,144
America before I came here
and I've come to learn

90
00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:33,312
that those were wrong.

91
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:36,281
For one, I just assumed
people spoke English here.

92
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,552
It's far from it.

93
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:41,620
It's not-- you know what?

94
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:42,654
It's not so much the
language so much as the

95
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:44,189
pronunciation of words
that throws me off.

96
00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:45,824
It's just Americans have
done with the language.

97
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,359
You guys have just-- wow.

98
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,560
You've just-- you've
done something.

99
00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,128
You've put 22's on the
English language.

100
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:52,397
Just got rims and just
pimp my language.

101
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:53,865
That's what you've gone
with, you know?

102
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:55,734
And I don't understand.

103
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,469
I was chatting to this
woman downtown the other day.

104
00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,304
She came up to me and she
wanted me to see something.

105
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:00,005
I don't know what though.

106
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:00,939
She was like

107
00:04:00,975 --> 00:04:02,741
my God, look over therr.

108
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:05,477
I said look over what?

109
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:06,245
She's like

110
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,646
over therr.

111
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:08,981
Look at that harr.

112
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:09,815
I said her?

113
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:10,616
She's like,

114
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:12,117
no, herr harr.

115
00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:14,386
There's two of them?

116
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:17,990
<i>I understand nothing.</i>

117
00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,024
<i>Even the small words.</i>

118
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:20,259
<i>Just the pronunciation.</i>

119
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:22,694
<i>You know, small things
that get you by.</i>

120
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:26,298
For instance, I pronounce the
opposites of uncle as aunt.

121
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:27,633
I say my aunt.

122
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:30,102
Out here you say my ant.

123
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,170
Which to me is an insect.

124
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:36,041
Which made me look
like an ass when my

125
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,176
friend told me his ant died.

126
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:42,781
And I was like so what?

127
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,283
There's tons of those out there.

128
00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:48,220
Just madness.

129
00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:49,488
Everything out
here is different.

130
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:51,356
Do you know how hard it is
to learn when you come out here?

131
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:52,457
You have to change everything.

132
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:53,592
There's the measurement
system which is just,

133
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,560
I mean, America, you guys
have your own thing.

134
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:56,995
The Imperial system, you know?

135
00:04:57,031 --> 00:04:59,197
On my side of the world we
use the metric system.

136
00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:01,533
And by my side I mean
the rest of the world.

137
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:02,000
You know?

138
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:03,869
We have the metric
system which is,

139
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,604
amongst other things,
very efficient.

140
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:06,672
It's a very simple process.

141
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,140
You know, everything
goes into each other.

142
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,241
And out here you have Imperial.

143
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:09,941
Which is fine.

144
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:10,742
I mean, I won't judge you.

145
00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:11,510
If you want to be imaginary,

146
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:12,544
that's up to you.

147
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:12,978
But--

148
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:14,513
I just feel like there's some

149
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:15,681
consistency that's needed.

150
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:16,782
Small things.

151
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,051
Like, for instance, when
we abbreviate our small

152
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:21,853
measurement, milligrams,
we use mg.

153
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:22,721
Milligrams.

154
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:23,288
Mg.

155
00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:25,090
Milli-grams?

156
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:27,426
And you guys have ounces.

157
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:28,493
Ounces.

158
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:31,196
Which you then
abbreviate: oz.

159
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,833
There's no Z in the word ounces.

160
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:39,071
I don't know-- that's
pale in comparison

161
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,539
to what you've done with pounds.

162
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:41,306
That, for me--

163
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:44,276
please explain to me
how the abbreviation

164
00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:48,547
for pounds became lbs.?

165
00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:50,082
Lb.-- pounds.

166
00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:51,817
I look like the idiot
walking into the store going

167
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:54,486
could I please have the
two labs bag of sugar?

168
00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:56,855
Guy was like

169
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:57,989
you mean pounds?

170
00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:58,423
I said I don't see the P.

171
00:05:58,459 --> 00:05:59,591
No, I don't.

172
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:01,393
He said

173
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:02,361
well, it means pounds.

174
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:03,061
No, it's lbs.

175
00:06:03,097 --> 00:06:03,762
Lot of bullshit.

176
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:04,763
That's what it stands for.

177
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,166
It is horrible.

178
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:15,540
And I thought-- I honestly
thought this was an anomaly.

179
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:16,408
I thought, you know what?

180
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:17,476
This is just one
of those things.

181
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:18,043
It's a coincidence.

182
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,111
But it's not.

183
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:20,212
Americans do not care
about abbreviation nor

184
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:21,146
the English language.

185
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:22,781
They just-- they
don't give a damn.

186
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:25,317
I notice on the small
things like, for instance,

187
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:27,652
when I was in Tennessee
I stumbled on an

188
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:30,389
organization known as
the Ku Klux Klan.

189
00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:33,024
You heard of them?

190
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,726
Worst magic show ever.

191
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:38,497
<i>Guy gave me a pamphlet.</i>

192
00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:39,765
<i>He's like</i>

193
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:40,198
<i>come and see the Grand Wizard.</i>

194
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:41,066
Grand Wizard.

195
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,134
The Grand Wiz--

196
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,502
didn't do one trick.

197
00:06:44,338 --> 00:06:45,404
Not even one trick.

198
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:46,671
I mean, I noticed a few
black people disappear

199
00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:47,906
but, I mean, that's not magic.

200
00:06:49,343 --> 00:06:50,375
No, that's just Regan-omics.

201
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:51,676
I wasn't impressed by that.

202
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:53,545
Like, where's the magic?

203
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,579
I sat there forever.

204
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,014
These guys running
around in their sheets.

205
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:56,982
Yee-haw!

206
00:06:57,017 --> 00:07:00,419
The KKK as they're
affectionately known.

207
00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:02,554
Has nobody bothered to
tell 'em ever that you do

208
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,623
not spell clan with a K?

209
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:09,094
Nobody's-- even in America
clan is spelt with a C.

210
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:10,061
The Ku Klux Clan.

211
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:13,165
They're the KKC not the KKK.

212
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:13,732
You realize that?

213
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,600
Ku Klux Clan.

214
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:16,368
It's C.

215
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:17,068
In fact, the name is wrong.

216
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:17,736
The whole thing.

217
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:18,937
The Ku Klux part of it.

218
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,806
That's-- it's just horrible
'cause they got that,

219
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,607
as you know, from
ancient Greece.

220
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,209
It was Kuklos Adelphon.

221
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,977
Meaning a circle of brothers.

222
00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:27,078
And that's how
they got the name.

223
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,548
They call themselves a
Greek circle of brothers.

224
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:32,684
Which is wrong for two
reasons: one if

225
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:35,554
your sole purpose as an
organization is to hate

226
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,689
black people, don't you
find it strange that

227
00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:40,959
you've now named yourself
the circle of brothers?

228
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:54,239
<i>And secondly, do they realize
that in ancient Greece,</i>

229
00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:56,775
<i>circles of brothers were
doing very different</i> things--

230
00:07:58,345 --> 00:07:59,478
<i>with one another?</i>

231
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:00,245
Very loving.

232
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,146
Very, you know?

233
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,547
Yeah.

234
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:03,915
If they were really a
Greek circle the sheets

235
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:04,916
would be a bit higher up.

236
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:05,417
You know?

237
00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:06,051
Just more of a--

238
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:07,519
yeah.

239
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:08,320
There'd be one more hole.

240
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:09,321
They're not a...

241
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:13,525
I came to America be

242
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,827
and that is I always
wanted to be black.

243
00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:18,563
I was a-- you laugh
but it's true.

244
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,232
I-- that's all I ever wanted.

245
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:23,935
I grew up in South Africa during
a time known as apartheid.

246
00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:25,370
And for those who don't know,

247
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:27,839
apartheid was a law in
South Africa that made it

248
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:30,542
illegal for black and
white people to interact

249
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:31,209
with each other.

250
00:08:31,245 --> 00:08:32,310
You know?

251
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,345
If you did that then you
would get into trouble.

252
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,347
So, for instance, this
black young lady here

253
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:36,648
sitting with the white guy.

254
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:39,484
If you did this in South Africa
then they'd arrest you guys.

255
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:40,785
<i>You couldn't-- during
apartheid you</i>

256
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,053
<i>couldn't-- well, they'd
arrest the black girl.</i>

257
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:43,455
They'd just ask you
not to do it again.

258
00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:44,456
'Cause--

259
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:49,761
And so, this was
awkward for me because

260
00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:51,630
I grew up in a mixed
family, you know?

261
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,665
Well, with me being the
mixed one in the family.

262
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:56,167
My mother's a black woman,

263
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,169
South African, and
my father's Swiss,

264
00:08:58,205 --> 00:08:59,237
from Switzerland.

265
00:08:59,273 --> 00:09:00,772
So, he was a white man.

266
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:02,774
And basic-- well, he
still is a white man.

267
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:04,543
It's not like he changed side.

268
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,778
I said was like through
hard work and determination--

269
00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:09,514
he became black, which is
not-- didn't-- that guy's

270
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:10,348
looking at me like

271
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:11,316
is that possible?

272
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:12,050
It's-- no, sir.

273
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:12,584
You're fine.

274
00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:13,952
You're 100% fine.

275
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,288
Your position of privilege
is just the way it was.

276
00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:18,256
Although, it would
be something though.

277
00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:19,824
You could work so hard
you became black.

278
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,293
That would just be-- wouldn't it?

279
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:23,295
That would change the
workplace forever to see

280
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:25,263
guys walking into their
office talking to the boss.

281
00:09:25,299 --> 00:09:28,033
Jim, I think I'm
gonna take a few days off.

282
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:29,734
I don't know.

283
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:30,368
I feel it coming on.

284
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:31,069
I-- Yeah, --

285
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:33,872
I've been
putting in some overtime

286
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:34,706
and I don't know, man.

287
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:35,540
I just-- yeah.

288
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:36,908
Yeah.

289
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:38,109
Look, I mean, the wife's loving
it but I can't take a chance.

290
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:38,743
I--

291
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,013
I just--

292
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,750
I just filled out a
new loan application

293
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:48,453
and my credit's looking
real good so,

294
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:49,454
I'm gonna take a few days off.

295
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:50,322
Yeah. Yeah.

296
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,692
No, you're fine, sir.

297
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:57,896
He's still-- my father is alive
and still very, very white.

298
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:58,897
From Switzerland.

299
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,032
My mother, Hausa woman
from South Africa.

300
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,167
Yeah.

301
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:03,168
And they got together
during this time which was

302
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:04,569
against the law but
they didn't care.

303
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:05,303
You know?

304
00:10:05,339 --> 00:10:06,371
They were mavericks.

305
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:07,839
They were just, you know,
they fought the man.

306
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:09,975
My mom was like woo,
I don't care!

307
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,042
I want the white man.

308
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,010
Woo!

309
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:13,778
You know?

310
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:15,547
And my dad was also like well,

311
00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:16,848
you know how the Swiss
love chocolate.

312
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:17,716
So he was just--

313
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,955
he was in there.

314
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:26,958
And so, they got together
and they had me.

315
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,293
Which was illegal.

316
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,328
So, I was born a crime.

317
00:10:30,364 --> 00:10:31,830
Which is something they
never thought through

318
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,231
'cause as a family we
couldn't live normally

319
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:34,366
together, you know?

320
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,701
Like in the streets my
father had to walk on the

321
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:38,036
other side of the road.

322
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,738
And he could just
wave at me from far.

323
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,072
Kinda like a creepy pedophile.

324
00:10:41,108 --> 00:10:41,906
Just--

325
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:47,078
And then my mom could walk
with me but if the police

326
00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,280
showed up then she'd have
to let go of my hand,

327
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,715
drop me, and act
like I wasn't hers.

328
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:51,583
Every time.

329
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:52,517
Just so we wouldn't get caught.

330
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:53,318
Be like whoo.

331
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:54,519
She'd be like I don't know.

332
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:57,489
It was horrible.

333
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:58,990
I felt like a bag of weed.

334
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,431
And one of the
punishments for this crime

335
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:07,966
was I was never afforded a race.

336
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,134
I was never called black.

337
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,502
I was never called white.

338
00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:14,072
I got horrible names like mixed
breed and mutt and half-cast.

339
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:14,906
And, you know?

340
00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:16,141
It was a horrible time for me.

341
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,676
And one fateful day,
I'll never forget,

342
00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:20,712
I met an American in South
Africa and he said to me, said

343
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:21,746
well you know, Trevor,

344
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:23,248
it's funny you say
that 'cause if you come

345
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:26,518
out to America they'll
label you as black.

346
00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:28,086
I said really?

347
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:29,587
He was like hell yeah.

348
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:32,190
Yeah.

349
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,224
Everybody's black out there.

350
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,361
And I was like wow.

351
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,063
Well, I want to be black.

352
00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:39,597
And I found out it's true.

353
00:11:39,633 --> 00:11:43,601
Mixed race people are
categorized as black in America.

354
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:44,669
Yeah.

355
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:45,937
The only catch is, and
nobody tells you this,

356
00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:48,073
you have to be liked
and successful first.

357
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,209
Before then they
say you're mixed.

358
00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:53,845
You achieve success and
you get upgraded to black.

359
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:56,014
All the famous
mixed people do it.

360
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,349
Singers like Alicia Keys
and Mariah Carey.

361
00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,050
Yeah?

362
00:11:59,086 --> 00:11:59,884
Mixed.

363
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,886
But then they say black singers.

364
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:03,788
Sportsmen like Tiger Woods.

365
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:04,689
Mixed.

366
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,758
But then they say black golfer.

367
00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:09,194
Most famous mixed person on the
planet by far, Barack Obama.

368
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:09,694
Mixed.

369
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:10,328
Half and half.

370
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:11,529
Straight down the middle.

371
00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:14,165
But then they say America's
first black president.

372
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:16,434
Which is interesting
'cause when he was running

373
00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:18,603
they called him the
mixed candidates.

374
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:20,705
I see how it works.

375
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:21,573
Everyone makes it obvious now.

376
00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:22,474
They're like

377
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:23,007
yeah, yeah, Barack.

378
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:23,441
Of course he won.

379
00:12:23,477 --> 00:12:24,542
Of course.

380
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:25,043
It wasn't that obvious

381
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:25,477
when he started.

382
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:26,344
It wasn't.

383
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:26,978
I remember comedians coming out.

384
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:27,812
They used to diss him.

385
00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:28,480
Guys would come out on stage,

386
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:29,514
they'd be like

387
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:30,548
man, how many y'all see that

388
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,217
crazy ass mixed fool
running for president?

389
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,052
Y'all see that mixed fool
running for president?

390
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,086
Wait, you gonna see.

391
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:36,221
Ain't no mixed fool
gonna be president of

392
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,689
United States of America.

393
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:39,591
Ain't no-- man, rich white
people gonna be voting for

394
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:40,391
a mixed fool?

395
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,761
Hey, the black man can be shit.

396
00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:44,696
Even a black man
can't-- how some mixed fool

397
00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:45,563
think he do it all?

398
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:46,331
Man, that mixed fool.

399
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:47,332
That crazy ass mixed fool.

400
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:48,767
How some mixed
fool-- that mixed fool.

401
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:49,901
And then he won and all of a

402
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:50,668
sudden they were like

403
00:12:50,704 --> 00:12:52,303
my nigga.

404
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:54,205
So.

405
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:57,509
I took the first
opportunity I could.

406
00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:59,177
Bought myself a plane
ticket from South Africa

407
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:00,545
and I said I'm going
out to America.

408
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,447
I'm going there and
I'm going to be black.

409
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:04,783
And I got on that plane.

410
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:06,618
It was an 18-hour flight.

411
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:10,121
Eighteen hours of non-stop
flying and I sat there in

412
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:13,758
my chair and I spent every
moment practicing being black.

413
00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:14,726
Just practicing.

414
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:18,329
I was like I'm not gonna
mess up this blackatunity.

415
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:20,932
I just sat there just
working through everything.

416
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,168
I was watching every
black movie and TV show.

417
00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:24,002
Just going through it.

418
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,570
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

419
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,272
Yeah.

420
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,173
You 'nah I mean?

421
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:29,174
You 'nah I mean?

422
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:29,874
Yeah.

423
00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:31,709
Yeah.

424
00:13:31,745 --> 00:13:33,378
King Kong ain't got shit on me.

425
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:35,380
Yeah.

426
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:36,748
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Willis?

427
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,652
I was just-- I was grinding it.

428
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:43,254
You laugh but 18 hours of
flying and I landed in JFK

429
00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:45,290
and I was fluent in
my black American.

430
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:47,258
For shizzle my nizzle.

431
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:48,259
I was just--

432
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:49,994
I was walking around.

433
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:50,929
I was so black I was
even laughing black.

434
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,564
I was like ha-ha-haa.

435
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:56,234
Ha-ha, yeah.

436
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,335
My man.

437
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:58,236
Ha-ha.

438
00:13:59,306 --> 00:13:59,704
Should've seen me.

439
00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:00,505
It was like

440
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:00,905
this you?

441
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,207
This you?

442
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:02,841
That
has to be the personification

443
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:03,808
of cool in my opinion.

444
00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:04,976
There's nothing cooler.

445
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,212
There's-- black Americans
are so cool they can make

446
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,981
you feel good about
yourself just by asking if

447
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,049
you are you.

448
00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:13,351
You don't believe me?

449
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:14,552
Get a black American man to come
up to you and just be like

450
00:14:14,588 --> 00:14:16,054
hey, yo, hey, yo, this you?

451
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,489
Nah, nah, this you?

452
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:19,390
This you?

453
00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:20,658
This you?

454
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:21,926
And you'd be like I think it is!

455
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:28,733
It's magic.

456
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,238
I was that black.

457
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,807
Not just any black but the
coolest black in the world

458
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,408
and that's American black.

459
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:39,444
I can say this with
confidence being from Africa.

460
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:40,378
I know black.

461
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:41,646
I'm well-versed in
the arts of black.

462
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:43,014
I'm from the black factory.

463
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:45,550
<i>I mean it.</i>

464
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:46,851
<i>I've seen every kind of
black from light black all</i>

465
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,353
<i>the way to like navy blue black.</i>

466
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,587
I know.

467
00:14:49,623 --> 00:14:51,256
I know black.

468
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,991
And there's no cooler
black than American black.

469
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:53,791
Nothing cooler.

470
00:14:53,827 --> 00:14:55,059
You know?

471
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,194
'Cause American black
people, I mean,

472
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,529
you just look at how much
they've done to influence

473
00:14:58,565 --> 00:14:59,764
modern day pop culture.

474
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:00,932
You know?

475
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:03,835
Small things in the bigger
like you got the music.

476
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:06,304
You got, you know,
jazz, hip hop, RandB,

477
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,705
all black Americans.

478
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,274
Style of clothing, you know?

479
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:12,577
Just this general swag that
they've brought to everything.

480
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:14,212
Even small things like walking.

481
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,180
I mean, walking is such a
mundane activity isn't it?

482
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:17,615
It's just a very-- just a very--

483
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:19,651
There's nothing cool
about this thing.

484
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,753
You just move from one
place to the next

485
00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:23,488
and pretty much
everybody can do it.

486
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:24,822
This is it.

487
00:15:24,858 --> 00:15:25,857
There's nothing.

488
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,592
And then black Americans
came along and then

489
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:28,893
they just added in that bounce--

490
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,397
and then-- and all of a
sudden you look really cool.

491
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,364
You just-- you know?

492
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,332
You look like you
have a purpose.

493
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,733
You've just got that-- yeah.

494
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:36,234
Look at this.

495
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,368
It's super cool.

496
00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:39,203
And it must be hard for an
assassin to kill you.

497
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:39,837
Just like--

498
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:43,408
That's why if you look
in American history

499
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,809
no black man was
ever assassinated

500
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:46,177
whilst walking ever.

501
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:48,880
It was when they stopped
then said something.

502
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:49,814
Bang.

503
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:50,481
That's when they would.

504
00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:51,282
'Cause they got the walk.

505
00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:52,450
That's why if you look, Obama,

506
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,252
every time he comes out of
the jet or makes a speech

507
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,254
he's always just got that
little bounce just before.

508
00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:58,790
'Cause in his head he's
like you never know.

509
00:15:58,825 --> 00:15:59,390
You never know.

510
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,092
You never know.

511
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:01,826
You never know.

512
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:03,561
You never know.

513
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,164
And by far the
coolest thing of all,

514
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:08,666
coolest thing of
all, is the talk.

515
00:16:08,702 --> 00:16:10,201
I've listened to black
Americans and it's the

516
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,503
most amazing use of the
English language I've ever

517
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:13,871
come across in my life.

518
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:18,977
'Cause they pay no regard
to punctuation whatsoever.

519
00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,645
They just cruise
through sentences.

520
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,313
It's fantastic.

521
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:23,715
First time I had a
conversation with a black

522
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:26,084
American man was in
Baltimore, Maryland.

523
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,385
This guy walked up to
me after the show.

524
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:27,986
He didn't even walk.

525
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:28,753
He just floated it.

526
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:29,487
Just--

527
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,190
He just came up to
me and he's like

528
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:34,192
hey, yo, B., hey, yo, hey, yo.

529
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:35,860
Hey, yo let me holler
atchoo for a minute, man,

530
00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:37,095
let me holler atchoo.

531
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,063
I said OK.

532
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,031
He's like man I ain't even

533
00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:41,466
gonna front, man, I
ain't gonna front.

534
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,534
I came out here dude, I
ain't even know who you

535
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,370
was man, I ain't even know.

536
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:47,238
I was like here the
show I bought my girl,

537
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:48,373
we was out there.

538
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:49,574
You came out 'der and you
were doing your thing I

539
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,843
was like yo, man, I ain't
even know that got 'dem

540
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,344
yellow bones out 'der in
the motherland, man.

541
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:55,446
I was like yo, this kid
better be funny,

542
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:56,347
man, but I ain't gonna lie.

543
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:57,415
You came out there.

544
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:58,549
You was keeping it coming,
keeping it moving.

545
00:16:58,585 --> 00:16:59,717
You was just beastin' out.

546
00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:01,452
I was like a'ight man,
maybe this kid is the truth.

547
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:02,220
Yeah.

548
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,021
This kid was doing his thing.

549
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:03,921
He was keeping it out there.

550
00:17:03,957 --> 00:17:04,789
I started laughing.

551
00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:05,890
My girl was killin' herself.

552
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,959
I was like a'ight this
mofo got flow fo' sure.

553
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:09,060
You 'nah I mean?

554
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:19,270
And I was like, no I don't.

555
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,273
But I love it.

556
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:23,274
It's the most amazing use of

557
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:24,675
English I've ever come
across in my life.

558
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,144
Just that one word alone.

559
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:27,345
Just the strength of that.

560
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,946
'Nah I mean?

561
00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:31,649
Do you know what I mean?

562
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,051
Ya 'nah I mean?

563
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:33,684
It just--

564
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,154
it sums it all up, doesn't it?

565
00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:38,122
It's just, you know,
neither question nor statement.

566
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:39,690
It's just-- like, why have
we been wasting our time

567
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:40,925
with syllables for so long?

568
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:41,959
I don't understand.

569
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:45,063
It was a crazy day
today you know what I mean?

570
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:46,931
Yo, that shit
was cray, ya 'nah I mean?

571
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:47,532
<i>It just--</i>

572
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:49,300
It just flows.

573
00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:50,668
It's magical.

574
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,070
It says it all.

575
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:54,172
I feel like I've wasted
years of my life without

576
00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:55,039
'nah I mean.

577
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,476
I wish I could go back
in time and relive

578
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:01,579
my favorite moments, watch
my favorite movies again.

579
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:06,551
Seeing them bring to
live this is Sparta!

580
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,019
'Nah I mean?

581
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:11,789
<i>Power.</i>

582
00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:16,594
Just give it
something, you know?

583
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:17,929
I'm gonna take that
word home with me,

584
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:19,597
home to Africa.

585
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:23,434
I hope and I pray that
someday I have a daughter

586
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,136
just so I may name
her 'Nah I Mean.

587
00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:25,870
You know?

588
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,706
No, because it sounds
exotic and foreign.

589
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,174
It has that thing to it.

590
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:31,342
You'd be like Trevor,
who's that?

591
00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:32,410
This?

592
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,178
It's my baby girl, 'Nah I Mean.

593
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,081
It just has it, you know?

594
00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:38,716
It's wonderful.

595
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:39,750
I'll just go back.

596
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,486
I bet even greats like
Shakespeare would've

597
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:42,920
loved to use that word.

598
00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:44,856
They say he invented more
words than anyone but 'nah

599
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:47,825
I mean, I bet he's in
his grave going I wish I had.

600
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,561
You can see it
on one of those great

601
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:53,231
plays on the stages of
Manchester and London.

602
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:55,433
Theatre actors just
walking out there with

603
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:56,367
their big collars.

604
00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:56,901
Yes.

605
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:58,035
Prometheus.

606
00:18:58,071 --> 00:19:01,506
And hither doth he come,
fie I am the son of a

607
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:04,242
humble thespian, 'nah I mean?

608
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:07,845
<i>Has the magic.</i>

609
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:11,415
<i>That's what I was, man.</i>

610
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:12,950
<i>I was that black.</i>

611
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,452
You should've seen me.

612
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,355
Just walking around the
airport shouting random things.

613
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:18,289
Brooklyn.

614
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:23,361
I didn't
even know where that was.

615
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,531
I was super black.

616
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:30,067
'til some guy came
up to me and he was like

617
00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:31,502
O yeah Papi!

618
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:36,107
Say what?

619
00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:38,209
He was like

620
00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:38,743
yo, man.

621
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:39,510
We made it, man.

622
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:41,345
We made it.

623
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,314
And now that we are
here, our kind,

624
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,982
we got to stick together, man.

625
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,122
Our kind?

626
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:56,227
Eighteen hours of flying
and I still wasn't black.

627
00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:00,898
I was Puerto Rican.

628
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:16,414
My dreams were dashed.

629
00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:17,448
And I thought it was a once off.

630
00:20:17,483 --> 00:20:18,015
But it's not.

631
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:18,816
You know?

632
00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:20,484
I go around on the East Coast.

633
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,120
Places like Miami,
that's the worst for me.

634
00:20:23,156 --> 00:20:24,956
Walk around the streets of
Miami and I see people

635
00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:27,358
look exactly like me and,
you know, they see me,

636
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:28,292
I see them.

637
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:29,227
We give each other
that look of home.

638
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:30,561
Like--

639
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:33,464
Guys come up to me they're like

640
00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:37,902
I was like whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

641
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:39,170
Whoa.

642
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:42,139
Yo, I don't speak Spanish, man.

643
00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:42,773
Guy was like

644
00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:43,407
wha'?

645
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:45,643
You don't speak Spanish?

646
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:46,077
I said no.

647
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:46,844
No, I don't.

648
00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:48,045
He's like

649
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,580
you should
be ashamed of yourself.

650
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:52,883
I said no, no.

651
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:54,051
I shouldn't be ashamed.

652
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:54,852
It's not my culture.

653
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:57,154
I'm actually South African.

654
00:20:57,190 --> 00:20:57,955
He's like

655
00:20:57,991 --> 00:20:59,223
South African?

656
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:00,524
Like you were born there?

657
00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:01,792
I said yeah.

658
00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:02,293
Yeah.

659
00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:02,860
My whole life.

660
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,095
He's like

661
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:05,062
Africa?

662
00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:06,931
I said yeah.

663
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:07,765
He's like

664
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,500
Africa, Africa?

665
00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:10,101
I said no.

666
00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:10,835
The one next to it.

667
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:11,802
Yes, Africa.

668
00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:14,071
He's like

669
00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:14,905
man, you don't look like

670
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:16,941
you from Africa, man.

671
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:18,542
I said what the
hell's that supposed to mean?

672
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:19,343
He's like

673
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:20,411
I don't know.

674
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:21,846
You look like you grew
up in the shade, man.

675
00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:31,956
Just everyone has
these images of Africa

676
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:33,958
and it's not your
fault as Americans.

677
00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:36,627
I-- you know, I understand
that as Americans, like,

678
00:21:36,663 --> 00:21:38,195
you don't know much
about South Africa.

679
00:21:38,231 --> 00:21:39,430
I've realized this
in my time here.

680
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:42,300
You don't know much
about Africa as a whole,

681
00:21:42,335 --> 00:21:44,335
which is-- well, you guys
don't know much about anything.

682
00:21:44,370 --> 00:21:45,269
But that's not--

683
00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:47,672
That's not your fault.

684
00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:49,206
<i>It just you guys are so
big and America-centric.</i>

685
00:21:49,242 --> 00:21:50,041
You know?

686
00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:51,575
And you don't get
outside images.

687
00:21:51,611 --> 00:21:52,710
You don't see anything.

688
00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:54,412
In fact, in my time in
America the only thing

689
00:21:54,447 --> 00:21:58,215
I've seen of Africa
is always those ads.

690
00:21:58,251 --> 00:22:00,284
Those-- have you seen
those commercials?

691
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,487
Those UNICEF ads and
the-- have you seen those?

692
00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:04,855
And they're asking
you for the money?

693
00:22:04,891 --> 00:22:06,190
I hate those ads.

694
00:22:06,225 --> 00:22:07,892
They don't even warn you that
those things are coming on TV.

695
00:22:09,462 --> 00:22:10,995
I'm sitting there
enjoying myself watching

696
00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:13,097
comedy shows and the next
thing you know you see

697
00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:14,665
this horrible village.

698
00:22:14,701 --> 00:22:17,835
It's just dirty and these
old rusting buildings

699
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:19,236
and these sad black people.

700
00:22:19,272 --> 00:22:20,137
And I'm looking.

701
00:22:20,173 --> 00:22:21,839
I'm like ooh, where's that?

702
00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:22,840
Cleveland?

703
00:22:29,449 --> 00:22:32,450
Then the thing comes up
and it's like Africa.

704
00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:33,718
Like really?

705
00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:36,153
Where?

706
00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:38,656
<i>And then they show you
the starving people</i>

707
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:39,724
<i>and it's always the same.</i>

708
00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:40,658
<i>They've always got
the starving look.</i>

709
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:41,792
<i>They always do the pose.</i>

710
00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:45,429
They've always got that like
"why haven't you called?" look.

711
00:22:48,401 --> 00:22:51,736
One by one.

712
00:22:51,771 --> 00:22:53,871
And they show you these people
and there's the starving

713
00:22:53,906 --> 00:22:56,340
mother and the starving
child and it's horrible.

714
00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:57,375
And then there's a celebrity.

715
00:22:57,410 --> 00:22:59,043
There's always-- the most
important thing is a

716
00:22:59,078 --> 00:23:03,180
celebrity who comes out
and they speak for them.

717
00:23:03,216 --> 00:23:04,882
You know, that way
we'll understand.

718
00:23:07,687 --> 00:23:10,287
And the one I saw-- the one
I saw was Penelope Cruz.

719
00:23:10,323 --> 00:23:11,122
She was a celebrity.

720
00:23:11,157 --> 00:23:12,289
She's beautiful.

721
00:23:12,325 --> 00:23:14,825
And she came out
and the starving mother

722
00:23:14,861 --> 00:23:16,560
and child were there
and Penelope came out

723
00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:18,028
and she next-- well, she
wasn't next to them.

724
00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:18,696
It was blue screen.

725
00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:19,764
But she was--

726
00:23:20,666 --> 00:23:21,832
she wanted to be there.

727
00:23:24,604 --> 00:23:26,003
And she walked out.

728
00:23:26,038 --> 00:23:27,171
She points and she's like

729
00:23:27,206 --> 00:23:30,441
this is Africa.

730
00:23:30,476 --> 00:23:33,511
Did you know every year
more than five million

731
00:23:33,546 --> 00:23:37,681
children in Africa die of
waterborne illnesses and

732
00:23:37,717 --> 00:23:40,117
diseases that could
have been prevented?

733
00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:44,555
You can make a difference
in this child's life.

734
00:23:45,992 --> 00:23:48,292
I know you're sitting
at home and like me

735
00:23:48,327 --> 00:23:50,294
you're saying but Penelope--

736
00:23:51,664 --> 00:23:53,297
I'm so far.

737
00:23:53,332 --> 00:23:55,032
What can I do to help?

738
00:23:56,669 --> 00:24:00,638
Well, I'm here to tell you
it's easier than you think.

739
00:24:00,673 --> 00:24:01,772
And it's a wonderful message

740
00:24:01,808 --> 00:24:02,940
and she's beautiful.

741
00:24:02,975 --> 00:24:04,341
I'm trying to-- I'm really
trying to pay attention to

742
00:24:04,377 --> 00:24:07,378
this but for the life of
me I can't concentrate

743
00:24:07,413 --> 00:24:08,979
because I'm watching and
out of the corner of my

744
00:24:09,015 --> 00:24:11,782
eye there's this fly
that's just buzzing around.

745
00:24:12,418 --> 00:24:12,983
It's buzzing.

746
00:24:13,019 --> 00:24:13,717
She's just ignoring.

747
00:24:13,753 --> 00:24:15,052
Bzzzz.

748
00:24:15,087 --> 00:24:16,253
And the fly's there in the eye.

749
00:24:16,289 --> 00:24:18,489
How does a fly sit on your eye?

750
00:24:18,524 --> 00:24:19,356
You see with the thing.

751
00:24:19,392 --> 00:24:20,691
Bzzzzz.

752
00:24:20,726 --> 00:24:21,525
In the mouth.

753
00:24:21,561 --> 00:24:22,726
And I'm-- I can't
concentrate while

754
00:24:22,762 --> 00:24:24,895
they-- how do they get the
fly there every single time?

755
00:24:24,931 --> 00:24:25,796
Can somebody tell me this?

756
00:24:26,699 --> 00:24:28,566
In every ad, in every single ad,

757
00:24:28,601 --> 00:24:30,434
the fly's there and it's
always in exactly the same

758
00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:31,902
place for the entire ad.

759
00:24:31,938 --> 00:24:33,270
For the entire ad.

760
00:24:33,306 --> 00:24:35,439
I can't get a fly to sit still
in my kitchen for four seconds.

761
00:24:36,275 --> 00:24:37,842
And I sneak up really slowly.

762
00:24:37,877 --> 00:24:39,944
But they can get the fly
to sit there every single

763
00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:41,278
time they film?

764
00:24:41,314 --> 00:24:42,646
I'm starting to think
it's like a trick fly.

765
00:24:42,682 --> 00:24:44,014
It's a Hollywood fly, isn't it?

766
00:24:45,084 --> 00:24:46,851
One of those trained
creatures from Disney.

767
00:24:46,886 --> 00:24:48,219
I know what those
guys are capable of.

768
00:24:48,254 --> 00:24:49,620
I've seen "Lassie".

769
00:24:50,957 --> 00:24:51,856
A trained fly.

770
00:24:51,891 --> 00:24:52,957
They probably got the
fly on lockdown.

771
00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:53,691
They're ready.

772
00:24:53,726 --> 00:24:54,425
They get everybody together.

773
00:24:54,460 --> 00:24:55,292
They got the starving people.

774
00:24:55,328 --> 00:24:56,260
They're like

775
00:24:56,295 --> 00:24:56,827
OK, we're ready to shoot.

776
00:24:56,863 --> 00:24:57,661
Where's the fly?

777
00:24:57,697 --> 00:24:58,095
Here, sir.

778
00:24:58,130 --> 00:24:58,696
Here, sir.

779
00:24:58,731 --> 00:24:59,196
Come on, boy.

780
00:24:59,232 --> 00:24:59,597
Come on, boy.

781
00:24:59,632 --> 00:25:00,064
Get it.

782
00:25:00,099 --> 00:25:02,867
Bzzzzz.

783
00:25:02,902 --> 00:25:03,868
And stay.

784
00:25:03,903 --> 00:25:04,702
Action.

785
00:25:04,737 --> 00:25:05,669
Did you know every

786
00:25:05,705 --> 00:25:07,938
year more than five
million children--

787
00:25:08,674 --> 00:25:09,173
are starving?

788
00:25:09,208 --> 00:25:11,876
Bzzzzzz.

789
00:25:15,114 --> 00:25:16,680
It's horrible.

790
00:25:16,716 --> 00:25:18,549
I hate those ads.

791
00:25:18,584 --> 00:25:19,884
I hate the people
who make those ads.

792
00:25:19,919 --> 00:25:22,853
I mean, there's people starving
everywhere in the world.

793
00:25:22,889 --> 00:25:25,155
Don't you know you can
give them a bit of dignity?

794
00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:26,190
You know?

795
00:25:26,225 --> 00:25:27,057
And I hate the people
in those ads as well

796
00:25:27,093 --> 00:25:28,692
'cause they make
Africans look bad.

797
00:25:28,728 --> 00:25:29,260
<i>Yeah.</i>

798
00:25:29,295 --> 00:25:30,060
I can say that.

799
00:25:30,096 --> 00:25:30,794
You go but don't hate them.

800
00:25:30,830 --> 00:25:31,195
They're starving.

801
00:25:31,230 --> 00:25:31,695
No.

802
00:25:31,731 --> 00:25:32,196
You know what?

803
00:25:32,231 --> 00:25:32,696
I don't care.

804
00:25:32,732 --> 00:25:33,230
I don't care.

805
00:25:33,266 --> 00:25:34,131
I really don't.

806
00:25:34,166 --> 00:25:35,065
'Cause people
starving everywhere.

807
00:25:35,101 --> 00:25:37,101
And I grew up in a black
family in Africa

808
00:25:37,136 --> 00:25:39,503
and no matter how poor
or hungry we were

809
00:25:39,539 --> 00:25:41,438
we could still do this.

810
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,314
But that's, you know, th

811
00:25:50,349 --> 00:25:51,549
We see you guys.

812
00:25:51,584 --> 00:25:52,449
Well, a lot of the people
out here have that impression.

813
00:25:52,485 --> 00:25:53,384
I've learned that.

814
00:25:53,419 --> 00:25:54,685
I've learned everyone
has that idea.

815
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,554
I learned that in small
things, you know?

816
00:25:56,589 --> 00:25:58,556
Like I do shows-- I've been
doing shows around the country.

817
00:25:58,591 --> 00:25:59,356
Around the world really.

818
00:25:59,392 --> 00:26:00,491
I've been blessed.

819
00:26:00,526 --> 00:26:04,094
And I remember
one day I'm in L.A.

820
00:26:04,130 --> 00:26:07,731
and I'm doing a show and
we're sitting backstage

821
00:26:07,767 --> 00:26:10,000
and this comedian comes in
to the backstage area

822
00:26:10,036 --> 00:26:12,603
and he's got a list of all
the guys that are performing.

823
00:26:12,638 --> 00:26:14,838
And so, he looks around
and he looks at the

824
00:26:14,874 --> 00:26:16,674
darkest guy in the corner,
just the blackest guy

825
00:26:16,709 --> 00:26:17,841
he could find.

826
00:26:17,877 --> 00:26:18,475
And he goes

827
00:26:18,511 --> 00:26:20,177
hey, yo.

828
00:26:20,212 --> 00:26:21,745
You the dude from Africa?

829
00:26:23,683 --> 00:26:24,648
And the guy looks
up and he's like

830
00:26:24,684 --> 00:26:26,216
nah man, I'm from Detroit.

831
00:26:27,286 --> 00:26:28,085
He's like

832
00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:28,452
a'ight, my bad.

833
00:26:28,487 --> 00:26:29,053
My bad.

834
00:26:29,088 --> 00:26:30,287
My bad.

835
00:26:30,323 --> 00:26:31,689
A'ight, yo.

836
00:26:31,724 --> 00:26:32,489
OK, Detroit.

837
00:26:32,525 --> 00:26:33,157
Yeah, yeah.

838
00:26:33,192 --> 00:26:34,892
You-- a'ight, OK cool.

839
00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:35,259
L.A.

840
00:26:35,294 --> 00:26:35,859
OK, cool.

841
00:26:35,895 --> 00:26:36,460
Cool.

842
00:26:36,495 --> 00:26:37,595
Cool.

843
00:26:37,630 --> 00:26:38,562
And then he looks at me

844
00:26:38,598 --> 00:26:40,364
for a second, does a
quick calculation.

845
00:26:40,399 --> 00:26:41,365
And he's like

846
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,567
a'ight, a'ight, um, yeah.

847
00:26:44,403 --> 00:26:45,336
And then he looks and he goes

848
00:26:45,371 --> 00:26:46,403
yo, where you from man?

849
00:26:46,439 --> 00:26:47,137
I said I'm from South Africa.

850
00:26:47,173 --> 00:26:47,905
He's like

851
00:26:48,441 --> 00:26:49,406
You the dude?

852
00:26:50,109 --> 00:26:51,442
Damn, man.

853
00:26:51,477 --> 00:26:51,842
Damn.

854
00:26:51,877 --> 00:26:52,743
A'ight.

855
00:26:52,778 --> 00:26:54,478
Yo, I didn't even
know they got-- yo,

856
00:26:54,513 --> 00:26:55,779
you the dude from Africa?

857
00:26:56,616 --> 00:26:57,781
Man, didn't even know they got

858
00:26:57,817 --> 00:26:59,650
light-skinned niggers
out there, man.

859
00:27:00,319 --> 00:27:00,818
Damn.

860
00:27:00,853 --> 00:27:01,218
A'ight.

861
00:27:01,253 --> 00:27:01,518
Yo.

862
00:27:01,554 --> 00:27:02,252
Yo.

863
00:27:02,288 --> 00:27:03,120
That's the motherland, man.

864
00:27:03,155 --> 00:27:04,355
That's the motherland.

865
00:27:04,390 --> 00:27:05,422
And all of
a sudden he just started

866
00:27:05,458 --> 00:27:06,123
giving me this speech.

867
00:27:06,158 --> 00:27:07,324
He's like

868
00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,059
man, you know,
yo man, that's-- yo man,

869
00:27:09,095 --> 00:27:10,327
that's where we gotta be, man.

870
00:27:10,363 --> 00:27:11,195
That's, you know--

871
00:27:12,231 --> 00:27:13,897
that's the motherland
out there, man.

872
00:27:13,933 --> 00:27:14,732
Yeah.

873
00:27:14,767 --> 00:27:15,366
I gots to get out there, man.

874
00:27:15,401 --> 00:27:16,500
I gots to.

875
00:27:16,535 --> 00:27:18,135
Yo, I gots to go home, man.

876
00:27:19,538 --> 00:27:20,204
You heard?

877
00:27:20,239 --> 00:27:22,172
I gots to go home.

878
00:27:22,208 --> 00:27:22,940
Man, you tell them.

879
00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:23,440
A'ight?

880
00:27:23,476 --> 00:27:24,475
You tell 'em.

881
00:27:24,510 --> 00:27:25,976
You tell them I'm
coming home, a'ight?

882
00:27:28,014 --> 00:27:28,712
And I was like

883
00:27:28,748 --> 00:27:30,080
we're not waiting.

884
00:27:35,788 --> 00:27:37,054
'<i> Cause I'm just-- I'm
fascinate-- I think</i>

885
00:27:37,089 --> 00:27:38,722
<i>that's come-- that
whole identity has come</i>

886
00:27:38,758 --> 00:27:40,691
<i>from the term African-American</i>.

887
00:27:40,726 --> 00:27:42,459
This is something that's
fascinated me.

888
00:27:42,495 --> 00:27:44,228
You know, it's the
very loose term.

889
00:27:44,263 --> 00:27:45,863
African-American.

890
00:27:45,898 --> 00:27:47,364
'Cause half of the time
you use it for people that

891
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:48,432
aren't even African.

892
00:27:48,467 --> 00:27:49,233
You know?

893
00:27:49,268 --> 00:27:49,900
Just use it long
as you're black.

894
00:27:49,935 --> 00:27:51,435
They go African-American.

895
00:27:51,470 --> 00:27:53,404
But it's-- what if people
aren't from Africa?

896
00:27:53,439 --> 00:27:54,872
They still African-American?

897
00:27:54,907 --> 00:27:57,808
Those people from the Caribbean,
from Haiti, from Jamaica.

898
00:27:57,843 --> 00:27:58,275
You know?

899
00:27:58,310 --> 00:27:59,176
They call--

900
00:27:59,211 --> 00:27:59,810
yeah, African-America.

901
00:27:59,845 --> 00:28:00,878
Guys like

902
00:28:00,913 --> 00:28:01,879
no man, I come from Jamaica.

903
00:28:01,914 --> 00:28:02,813
I no' from Africa.

904
00:28:03,783 --> 00:28:05,382
I ain't never
been there 'fore, man.

905
00:28:05,418 --> 00:28:06,950
He's like you wanna stay?

906
00:28:06,986 --> 00:28:08,719
African-American, man.

907
00:28:08,754 --> 00:28:09,386
Hey.

908
00:28:11,223 --> 00:28:13,757
The prefix
to American has become as

909
00:28:13,793 --> 00:28:15,192
important as American itself.

910
00:28:15,227 --> 00:28:16,727
I thought it was just
American but it's not.

911
00:28:16,762 --> 00:28:17,728
No, no, no.

912
00:28:17,763 --> 00:28:18,829
It's very important
you have the prefix.

913
00:28:18,864 --> 00:28:21,331
You know, you have
African-American.

914
00:28:21,367 --> 00:28:22,132
African-American.

915
00:28:22,168 --> 00:28:23,934
You have others like Latin-

916
00:28:23,969 --> 00:28:26,170
or Mexican-American.

917
00:28:26,205 --> 00:28:30,340
You have Asian-American.

918
00:28:30,376 --> 00:28:32,342
You have-- the most
interesting for me was

919
00:28:32,378 --> 00:28:36,313
Indian-American which I learned
about during Thanksgiving.

920
00:28:36,348 --> 00:28:37,548
Indian-American.

921
00:28:37,583 --> 00:28:39,783
And then I was told I'm no
longer allowed to say this.

922
00:28:39,819 --> 00:28:44,221
Said I now have to
say Native American.

923
00:28:44,256 --> 00:28:46,423
Which is redundant, is it not?

924
00:28:47,793 --> 00:28:51,061
Because if somebody's
a native of the land

925
00:28:51,097 --> 00:28:54,398
they're still in should
you not then just

926
00:28:54,433 --> 00:28:56,133
call them American?

927
00:28:57,369 --> 00:28:58,435
How does that work?

928
00:29:03,609 --> 00:29:06,443
It was the strangest
conversation to have sitting

929
00:29:06,479 --> 00:29:08,679
around carving the turkey
and just going, you know,

930
00:29:08,714 --> 00:29:09,580
going I don't understand.

931
00:29:09,615 --> 00:29:11,248
I can't say Indian-American?

932
00:29:11,283 --> 00:29:12,216
He's like

933
00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:12,883
no, Trevor, you-- yeah, look.

934
00:29:12,918 --> 00:29:13,684
You don't wanna say that.

935
00:29:13,719 --> 00:29:14,885
You wanna say Native American.

936
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,120
Yeah, it's a better term.

937
00:29:16,155 --> 00:29:17,020
I go.

938
00:29:17,056 --> 00:29:19,890
Well, who called them
Indian-American?

939
00:29:19,925 --> 00:29:21,525
Well, we did.

940
00:29:22,862 --> 00:29:23,827
I see.

941
00:29:23,863 --> 00:29:25,662
And then who changed it?

942
00:29:25,698 --> 00:29:27,798
Well, we did.

943
00:29:27,833 --> 00:29:28,766
I see.

944
00:29:28,801 --> 00:29:29,900
And you guys feel better?

945
00:29:29,935 --> 00:29:30,367
Yeah, yeah.

946
00:29:30,402 --> 00:29:30,834
Much better.

947
00:29:30,870 --> 00:29:31,502
Much better.

948
00:29:32,438 --> 00:29:33,570
Much better.

949
00:29:33,606 --> 00:29:34,171
It's just the craziest

950
00:29:34,206 --> 00:29:34,972
thing in the world.

951
00:29:35,007 --> 00:29:36,306
Changing it, you know?

952
00:29:36,342 --> 00:29:37,341
The prefix.

953
00:29:37,376 --> 00:29:38,275
And, I mean, I don't
mean to offend anyone.

954
00:29:38,310 --> 00:29:39,543
As Americans I hope
you, you know,

955
00:29:39,578 --> 00:29:40,611
I see some guys
looking at me like

956
00:29:40,646 --> 00:29:41,245
OK, OK.

957
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:42,079
Move on, guy, move on.

958
00:29:42,114 --> 00:29:42,613
Yeah.

959
00:29:42,648 --> 00:29:43,180
Yeah.

960
00:29:44,517 --> 00:29:45,883
And I really don't-- please,

961
00:29:45,918 --> 00:29:46,917
don't get offended.

962
00:29:46,952 --> 00:29:48,819
If you're American and
you're offended I really

963
00:29:48,854 --> 00:29:51,555
hope that I'm not offending you.

964
00:29:51,590 --> 00:29:54,324
<i>I mean this because I
am scared of you.</i>

965
00:29:55,895 --> 00:29:56,960
No, no, really.

966
00:29:56,996 --> 00:29:57,995
The world-- you don't understand.

967
00:29:58,030 --> 00:30:00,597
The world is shit
scared of America.

968
00:30:00,633 --> 00:30:03,100
Like America-- 'cause
you guys, what?

969
00:30:03,135 --> 00:30:05,002
You've been fighting
wars since World War II.

970
00:30:05,037 --> 00:30:06,336
You guys haven't stopped.

971
00:30:06,372 --> 00:30:07,905
Like America-- no, it's true.

972
00:30:07,940 --> 00:30:09,439
America's just like
the most badass.

973
00:30:09,475 --> 00:30:11,775
America's like that really
buff guy on the beach just

974
00:30:11,811 --> 00:30:12,709
like not messing around.

975
00:30:12,745 --> 00:30:13,610
Just walking around.

976
00:30:14,613 --> 00:30:15,946
Just like you do not
mess with America.

977
00:30:15,981 --> 00:30:17,648
It's like, you know, if
America catches you

978
00:30:17,683 --> 00:30:19,316
building a sand castle
like what are you doing?

979
00:30:19,351 --> 00:30:20,150
No, no!

980
00:30:20,186 --> 00:30:20,951
America!

981
00:30:20,986 --> 00:30:21,418
It's not what it looks like!

982
00:30:21,453 --> 00:30:21,919
He's like

983
00:30:21,954 --> 00:30:23,187
yah!

984
00:30:23,222 --> 00:30:25,055
Yah!

985
00:30:25,090 --> 00:30:27,191
The only time people build
sand castles is when

986
00:30:27,226 --> 00:30:28,258
they're gonna attack.

987
00:30:28,294 --> 00:30:29,092
Stop that!

988
00:30:29,728 --> 00:30:30,627
It's just, you know,

989
00:30:30,663 --> 00:30:31,728
we've afraid of-- you
don't understand,

990
00:30:31,764 --> 00:30:33,997
the whole world is afraid
of-- the whole world is

991
00:30:34,033 --> 00:30:34,832
afraid of you guys.

992
00:30:34,867 --> 00:30:35,999
You know?

993
00:30:36,035 --> 00:30:37,668
Because you guys have been
fighting and for a lot of

994
00:30:37,703 --> 00:30:38,468
good in the world as well.

995
00:30:38,504 --> 00:30:39,570
Don't get me wrong, you know?

996
00:30:39,605 --> 00:30:41,605
That's why you guys are
so proud of your troops.

997
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:42,272
Yeah.

998
00:30:42,308 --> 00:30:42,940
Like the troops, right?

999
00:30:42,975 --> 00:30:43,607
You guys love the troops.

1000
00:30:43,642 --> 00:30:44,675
Give it up for the troops.

1001
00:30:45,911 --> 00:30:46,810
Yeah.

1002
00:30:50,416 --> 00:30:51,415
'Cause I've learned.

1003
00:30:51,450 --> 00:30:53,617
And in the world in
the biggest democracy

1004
00:30:53,652 --> 00:30:54,718
you need your troops.

1005
00:30:54,753 --> 00:30:56,286
That's why the troops are
so high up in America,

1006
00:30:56,322 --> 00:30:57,387
so respected.

1007
00:30:57,423 --> 00:30:58,655
The troops.

1008
00:30:58,691 --> 00:31:01,291
You know, they're not number
one though in the rankings.

1009
00:31:01,327 --> 00:31:03,493
I'd say number one
is more sports.

1010
00:31:03,529 --> 00:31:04,962
Sports is the highest thing.

1011
00:31:04,997 --> 00:31:06,496
No, sports is the biggest
thing in America.

1012
00:31:06,532 --> 00:31:07,931
Like, that's just number one.

1013
00:31:07,967 --> 00:31:09,933
It's-- it would be-- troops
is up there though.

1014
00:31:09,969 --> 00:31:14,238
So I-- it would be, I would say
the rankings would be sports,

1015
00:31:14,273 --> 00:31:16,173
the Kardashians, the
president, then the troops.

1016
00:31:17,076 --> 00:31:18,642
That would be-- yeah,

1017
00:31:18,677 --> 00:31:19,676
'cause you guys love
the Kardashians.

1018
00:31:19,712 --> 00:31:21,445
Like let's be-- like
Americans are just-- I've

1019
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:22,846
never seen anything like it.

1020
00:31:22,882 --> 00:31:23,680
Guys are like

1021
00:31:23,716 --> 00:31:24,815
Did Kim get home OK?

1022
00:31:24,850 --> 00:31:25,649
Did she?

1023
00:31:25,684 --> 00:31:26,083
Yeah?

1024
00:31:26,118 --> 00:31:26,450
OK.

1025
00:31:26,485 --> 00:31:26,950
Yeah.

1026
00:31:26,986 --> 00:31:27,551
Check on Obama.

1027
00:31:27,586 --> 00:31:27,918
OK.

1028
00:31:27,953 --> 00:31:28,352
Cool.

1029
00:31:28,387 --> 00:31:29,186
All right.

1030
00:31:29,221 --> 00:31:29,953
Just-- you know?

1031
00:31:29,989 --> 00:31:30,721
That's the ranking.

1032
00:31:30,756 --> 00:31:32,222
But sports is just nuts.

1033
00:31:32,258 --> 00:31:33,090
Wow.

1034
00:31:33,125 --> 00:31:34,625
You guys love your
sports out here.

1035
00:31:34,660 --> 00:31:36,860
I've never seen more focus
put on sports anywhere

1036
00:31:36,896 --> 00:31:37,895
else in the world.

1037
00:31:37,930 --> 00:31:40,163
Americans love their
sports back to front.

1038
00:31:40,199 --> 00:31:41,431
You analyze them.

1039
00:31:41,467 --> 00:31:42,766
You worship them.

1040
00:31:42,801 --> 00:31:44,701
You watch the game
before the game.

1041
00:31:44,737 --> 00:31:46,103
You watch the game
after the game.

1042
00:31:47,206 --> 00:31:48,538
You talk about what might
happen in the game.

1043
00:31:48,574 --> 00:31:49,973
You talk about what's
happening in the game.

1044
00:31:50,009 --> 00:31:51,909
And then you talk about
what happened in the game

1045
00:31:51,944 --> 00:31:53,543
and what could have and
might have but didn't

1046
00:31:53,579 --> 00:31:54,511
happen in the game.

1047
00:31:55,714 --> 00:31:56,914
It's just the craziest
thing I've seen in my life.

1048
00:31:56,949 --> 00:31:58,015
It's all about statistics.

1049
00:31:58,050 --> 00:31:59,283
Have you seen sports in America?

1050
00:31:59,318 --> 00:31:59,950
Non-stop.

1051
00:31:59,985 --> 00:32:00,951
Guys just come out there.

1052
00:32:00,986 --> 00:32:02,219
There's no time for
smiles or anything.

1053
00:32:02,254 --> 00:32:03,287
Just come out and

1054
00:32:03,322 --> 00:32:04,821
ladies and
gentlemen welcome to it.

1055
00:32:04,857 --> 00:32:09,226
It's the 2012 Miami Heat
up against the OKC.

1056
00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:10,694
This is the greatest final
we've been waiting for in

1057
00:32:10,729 --> 00:32:12,029
the NBA finals.

1058
00:32:12,064 --> 00:32:14,231
LeBron James leading his team
out here averaging 30 points.

1059
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:15,799
A double-double
every single game.

1060
00:32:15,834 --> 00:32:18,101
10 points per game
just in assists alone.

1061
00:32:18,137 --> 00:32:19,002
This man is just something else.

1062
00:32:19,038 --> 00:32:20,404
90% from the free throw line.

1063
00:32:20,439 --> 00:32:22,205
He's just gone in and he's
statistically gotten better.

1064
00:32:22,241 --> 00:32:23,340
His team coming in with more.

1065
00:32:23,375 --> 00:32:25,275
Chris Bosh coming in
with more assists.

1066
00:32:25,311 --> 00:32:26,710
Really doing well
in the last game.

1067
00:32:26,745 --> 00:32:27,511
Just like wow.

1068
00:32:27,546 --> 00:32:28,779
Wow.

1069
00:32:28,814 --> 00:32:29,913
Numbers,
numbers, numbers, numbers.

1070
00:32:29,949 --> 00:32:31,081
Stats, stats, stats.

1071
00:32:31,116 --> 00:32:31,915
You guys know everything.

1072
00:32:31,951 --> 00:32:33,283
Every stat.

1073
00:32:33,319 --> 00:32:34,451
Well, I mean, you
know, he's got 4 out of 5 and,

1074
00:32:34,486 --> 00:32:35,819
I mean, if you look at that
statistic alone it looks

1075
00:32:35,854 --> 00:32:37,521
like he should be
getting forward.

1076
00:32:37,556 --> 00:32:38,655
He should be--

1077
00:32:38,691 --> 00:32:39,957
and then it's just crazy.

1078
00:32:39,992 --> 00:32:40,724
You know everything.

1079
00:32:40,759 --> 00:32:41,792
You know everything.

1080
00:32:41,827 --> 00:32:42,859
And then you switch over
to like your business

1081
00:32:42,895 --> 00:32:44,528
channels and your economy
and you're like well,

1082
00:32:44,563 --> 00:32:46,330
what's happening
in the economy this year, Bob?

1083
00:32:46,365 --> 00:32:47,864
Well, nobody knows.

1084
00:32:47,900 --> 00:32:48,799
I mean--

1085
00:32:51,036 --> 00:32:52,202
nobody knows.

1086
00:32:52,237 --> 00:32:53,503
Yeah.

1087
00:32:55,941 --> 00:32:59,109
We thought the housing
market was coming up

1088
00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:00,077
but it wasn't.

1089
00:33:02,114 --> 00:33:04,247
But hey, I mean,
that's the economy.

1090
00:33:04,283 --> 00:33:06,149
You never know, right?

1091
00:33:06,185 --> 00:33:06,750
You never know.

1092
00:33:06,785 --> 00:33:07,451
What about stocks?

1093
00:33:07,486 --> 00:33:08,785
Well, I guess stocks.

1094
00:33:08,821 --> 00:33:09,886
They're up and down.

1095
00:33:11,123 --> 00:33:11,989
I don't really know.

1096
00:33:12,024 --> 00:33:12,789
They're up and down.

1097
00:33:12,825 --> 00:33:13,991
They could go anywhere.

1098
00:33:14,026 --> 00:33:15,359
It's-- those are stocks.

1099
00:33:15,394 --> 00:33:16,860
We don't know.

1100
00:33:16,895 --> 00:33:18,428
But the sports, you know?

1101
00:33:18,464 --> 00:33:20,364
Need to flip that around.

1102
00:33:20,399 --> 00:33:22,199
Get the statistics
in the economy.

1103
00:33:22,234 --> 00:33:23,400
Just relax in your sports.

1104
00:33:23,435 --> 00:33:24,634
Have fun.

1105
00:33:24,670 --> 00:33:26,103
That's the sports I watch.

1106
00:33:26,138 --> 00:33:26,536
It's relaxed.

1107
00:33:26,572 --> 00:33:27,204
Like soccer.

1108
00:33:27,239 --> 00:33:29,139
I'm a huge fan of soccer.

1109
00:33:29,174 --> 00:33:29,606
Yeah.

1110
00:33:29,641 --> 00:33:30,340
Yeah.

1111
00:33:30,376 --> 00:33:30,974
There's some fans here?

1112
00:33:33,412 --> 00:33:34,745
<i>I love soccer.</i>

1113
00:33:34,780 --> 00:33:35,746
It's chilled.

1114
00:33:35,781 --> 00:33:36,980
You hear it in the
commentators when a game

1115
00:33:37,016 --> 00:33:38,081
is being played.

1116
00:33:38,117 --> 00:33:39,750
There's no statistics at all.

1117
00:33:39,785 --> 00:33:40,784
Game starts off.

1118
00:33:40,819 --> 00:33:41,585
The whistle blows.

1119
00:33:41,620 --> 00:33:42,819
Brrrt.

1120
00:33:42,855 --> 00:33:47,290
And welcome ladies and gentlemen
to this majestic match.

1121
00:33:47,326 --> 00:33:50,060
It's Spain playing
against Germany.

1122
00:33:50,095 --> 00:33:51,962
And what a wonderful day it is.

1123
00:33:53,332 --> 00:33:54,164
Look at the crowd.

1124
00:33:54,199 --> 00:33:55,699
Really excited.

1125
00:33:55,734 --> 00:33:57,601
And the atmosphere's amazing.

1126
00:33:57,636 --> 00:33:58,602
Wonderful weather.

1127
00:33:58,637 --> 00:33:59,736
And the guys are like

1128
00:33:59,772 --> 00:34:00,771
yeah, John, you can feel it.

1129
00:34:00,806 --> 00:34:02,339
The players look great.

1130
00:34:02,374 --> 00:34:03,407
It's wonderful.

1131
00:34:03,442 --> 00:34:04,007
What do you think's gonna

1132
00:34:04,043 --> 00:34:05,008
happen today, Martin?

1133
00:34:05,044 --> 00:34:06,576
Nobody knows.

1134
00:34:08,747 --> 00:34:10,947
I can't even remember
the last time I

1135
00:34:10,983 --> 00:34:12,282
saw a game this good.

1136
00:34:12,317 --> 00:34:13,750
Americans will remember.

1137
00:34:13,786 --> 00:34:15,552
Americans will go back
to the finest statistic.

1138
00:34:15,587 --> 00:34:17,721
The last time a black man

1139
00:34:17,756 --> 00:34:20,490
scored using his left
hand jumping over a

1140
00:34:20,526 --> 00:34:22,893
mixed race half-Indian--

1141
00:34:24,096 --> 00:34:27,297
was in 1967 when the
OK-- then they're like what?

1142
00:34:29,068 --> 00:34:30,033
<i>This is madness.</i>

1143
00:34:30,903 --> 00:34:31,868
It's crazy.

1144
00:34:31,904 --> 00:34:33,103
I'm loving it, living
the American life.

1145
00:34:33,138 --> 00:34:33,737
Trying to do it.

1146
00:34:33,772 --> 00:34:35,472
It's crazy, you know?

1147
00:34:35,507 --> 00:34:38,341
I had to learn how to drive
out here which was fun.

1148
00:34:38,377 --> 00:34:40,977
Had to get a car,
obviously, which I just

1149
00:34:41,013 --> 00:34:42,312
almost couldn't get.

1150
00:34:42,347 --> 00:34:44,614
You have to fill out forms
and then they want your credit.

1151
00:34:44,650 --> 00:34:46,216
And in America credit's
very important.

1152
00:34:46,251 --> 00:34:47,818
I don't understand the concept.

1153
00:34:47,853 --> 00:34:49,319
I'm in the car dealership
and there's this Asian

1154
00:34:49,354 --> 00:34:51,088
gentleman helping me and
we're going through the

1155
00:34:51,123 --> 00:34:52,389
forms and he says

1156
00:34:52,424 --> 00:34:54,357
so, how long
have you live in America for?

1157
00:34:54,393 --> 00:34:55,725
I said I
haven't lived here for long.

1158
00:34:55,761 --> 00:34:56,726
He said

1159
00:34:56,762 --> 00:34:57,561
this no good for you.

1160
00:34:58,230 --> 00:34:59,763
This no good for you.

1161
00:34:59,798 --> 00:35:00,363
I said what do you mean?

1162
00:35:00,399 --> 00:35:01,398
He said

1163
00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:02,899
no, you cannot lease car in

1164
00:35:02,935 --> 00:35:05,102
America unless you
been here long time

1165
00:35:05,137 --> 00:35:07,270
because then you
don't have credit.

1166
00:35:07,306 --> 00:35:08,105
OK?

1167
00:35:08,140 --> 00:35:09,406
You don't--

1168
00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:09,773
I said well, I've
got the money to pay for it.

1169
00:35:09,808 --> 00:35:10,807
He said

1170
00:35:10,843 --> 00:35:11,108
yeah, that's not the point.

1171
00:35:11,143 --> 00:35:11,842
OK?

1172
00:35:12,778 --> 00:35:13,877
That's not the point.

1173
00:35:13,912 --> 00:35:16,646
In America, OK, in this
country we want credit,

1174
00:35:16,682 --> 00:35:17,380
OK?

1175
00:35:17,416 --> 00:35:19,015
Our country focus on credit.

1176
00:35:19,051 --> 00:35:21,318
If you got good credit
you can buy anything.

1177
00:35:21,353 --> 00:35:22,419
We don't care about money.

1178
00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:23,286
We want credit.

1179
00:35:24,490 --> 00:35:25,288
I said well,
credit is the assumption

1180
00:35:25,324 --> 00:35:26,356
that you can pay back the money.

1181
00:35:26,391 --> 00:35:27,057
He's like

1182
00:35:27,092 --> 00:35:27,757
no, no.

1183
00:35:27,793 --> 00:35:28,525
That don't count here, OK?

1184
00:35:29,528 --> 00:35:30,894
In our country you
have good credit you

1185
00:35:30,929 --> 00:35:32,229
can buy anything, OK?

1186
00:35:32,264 --> 00:35:34,564
You got good credit-- he
said our country, our country--

1187
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:35,899
And I was like look,

1188
00:35:35,934 --> 00:35:37,801
I hate to be rude but
when you say our country--

1189
00:35:38,670 --> 00:35:40,036
do you mean "our" because you

1190
00:35:40,072 --> 00:35:42,939
live here now or "our"
because the Chinese own it?

1191
00:35:44,810 --> 00:35:45,809
And he was like

1192
00:35:45,844 --> 00:35:47,744
it's a bit of both, OK?

1193
00:35:48,313 --> 00:35:49,212
<i>Yeah.</i>

1194
00:35:49,248 --> 00:35:50,947
<i>But no credit for you, no car.</i>

1195
00:35:50,983 --> 00:35:51,348
<i>OK?</i>

1196
00:35:51,383 --> 00:35:52,149
<i>Goodbye.</i>

1197
00:35:54,119 --> 00:35:55,519
I had to just buy myself a car.

1198
00:35:55,554 --> 00:35:56,753
You know, it was a
horrible thing.

1199
00:35:56,788 --> 00:35:57,854
Drive around.

1200
00:35:57,890 --> 00:35:59,356
And that's the worst
thing, driving in America.

1201
00:35:59,391 --> 00:36:00,891
Wow.

1202
00:36:00,926 --> 00:36:02,826
On the other side of the road.

1203
00:36:02,861 --> 00:36:04,528
You feel like a rebel, you know?

1204
00:36:04,563 --> 00:36:06,129
Until you see the other
cars coming and then it's

1205
00:36:06,165 --> 00:36:07,264
not so much fun.

1206
00:36:07,299 --> 00:36:08,365
Every-- because you know
how many times I

1207
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:09,599
did that just going
to the wrong side?

1208
00:36:11,136 --> 00:36:12,302
And don't trust movies.

1209
00:36:12,337 --> 00:36:14,538
It's not easy to do
that whole thing.

1210
00:36:14,573 --> 00:36:15,205
No.

1211
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:16,273
No.

1212
00:36:16,308 --> 00:36:17,541
People don't just drive
and-- no, they stop.

1213
00:36:17,576 --> 00:36:19,075
They just look at you and go
what are you doing?

1214
00:36:19,912 --> 00:36:21,011
In the movies you drive by.

1215
00:36:21,046 --> 00:36:22,145
What are you doing?

1216
00:36:23,448 --> 00:36:24,381
Aren't you
supposed know they don't drive;

1217
00:36:24,416 --> 00:36:25,582
they just wait for
you to turn around.

1218
00:36:25,617 --> 00:36:26,983
And then the streets are
so small you're doing one

1219
00:36:27,019 --> 00:36:29,786
of those turns just
watching them in your shame.

1220
00:36:29,821 --> 00:36:30,787
Just like it's horrible.

1221
00:36:32,324 --> 00:36:33,523
I had to practice for months.

1222
00:36:33,559 --> 00:36:35,292
It was the worst.

1223
00:36:35,327 --> 00:36:37,294
It's horrible.

1224
00:36:37,329 --> 00:36:39,663
I had to buckle down and
buy myself a real GPS to

1225
00:36:39,698 --> 00:36:40,897
get me around.

1226
00:36:40,933 --> 00:36:42,599
Which has been
working like a charm.

1227
00:36:42,634 --> 00:36:44,234
If you don't have a GPS
you get yourself one.

1228
00:36:44,269 --> 00:36:45,602
It's the best thing
you'll ever do.

1229
00:36:45,637 --> 00:36:46,670
Just don't make the
mistake I made

1230
00:36:46,705 --> 00:36:48,271
and buy it from Craigslist.

1231
00:36:50,409 --> 00:36:52,008
I bought one off
Craigslist and the guy

1232
00:36:52,044 --> 00:36:54,744
who sold it to me didn't
tell me that it was a

1233
00:36:54,780 --> 00:36:56,780
Spanish language GPS.

1234
00:36:57,916 --> 00:37:00,750
Which was not so good.

1235
00:37:00,786 --> 00:37:03,086
I didn't understand
anything she says.

1236
00:37:03,121 --> 00:37:04,721
Look, I still get around
'cause the arrows are in

1237
00:37:04,756 --> 00:37:05,822
English, thank God.

1238
00:37:07,125 --> 00:37:08,258
But otherwise
it was just horrible.

1239
00:37:08,293 --> 00:37:11,595
And I hated it the first
few days and then I fell

1240
00:37:11,630 --> 00:37:12,262
in love with her.

1241
00:37:12,297 --> 00:37:14,030
She's just, you know?

1242
00:37:14,066 --> 00:37:16,733
I don't understand why more
Americans don't speak Spanish.

1243
00:37:16,768 --> 00:37:18,835
It's such a sexy language.

1244
00:37:18,870 --> 00:37:20,437
I'm just sitting there and
like all the men in here,

1245
00:37:20,472 --> 00:37:22,372
you want to feel like a man,

1246
00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:24,107
you get yourself a Spanish GPS.

1247
00:37:25,644 --> 00:37:26,276
<i>No.</i>

1248
00:37:26,311 --> 00:37:27,210
<i>You don't understand.</i>

1249
00:37:27,246 --> 00:37:28,545
<i>Traffic never sounded sexier.</i>

1250
00:37:28,580 --> 00:37:30,480
<i>It's just like-- I just
punch in random</i>

1251
00:37:30,515 --> 00:37:32,115
<i>destinations and she
guides me around.</i>

1252
00:37:32,150 --> 00:37:33,850
She's like dun-dun.

1253
00:37:39,758 --> 00:37:40,423
And I'm just like

1254
00:37:45,297 --> 00:37:46,796
Shucks, TomTom.

1255
00:37:48,433 --> 00:37:49,799
You say that all the time.

1256
00:37:51,336 --> 00:37:52,435
<i>She's just sexy, you know?</i>

1257
00:37:52,471 --> 00:37:54,404
<i>She guides me around
and it's beautiful.</i>

1258
00:37:54,439 --> 00:37:55,538
<i>I love that.</i>

1259
00:37:55,574 --> 00:37:57,374
<i>I'm going to learn
Spanish because of that.</i>

1260
00:37:57,409 --> 00:37:58,408
<i>Definitely.</i>

1261
00:37:58,443 --> 00:38:00,277
<i>Spanish has gone up my list.</i>

1262
00:38:00,312 --> 00:38:03,647
I had a few languages and
Spanish was like sixth language.

1263
00:38:03,682 --> 00:38:06,416
I spoke four languages in
South Africa and then the

1264
00:38:06,451 --> 00:38:09,085
fifth language was gonna
be Japanese and then Spanish.

1265
00:38:09,121 --> 00:38:10,520
But now Spanish has gone up.

1266
00:38:10,555 --> 00:38:13,290
Japanese I've had to pause
'cause of the earthquake.

1267
00:38:13,325 --> 00:38:15,058
There's not that many of
them traveling now.

1268
00:38:15,093 --> 00:38:16,159
So, it's sad.

1269
00:38:16,194 --> 00:38:17,327
There's no one now.

1270
00:38:17,362 --> 00:38:19,429
There's like-- walk around
the streets just, you know?

1271
00:38:19,464 --> 00:38:20,697
But Spanish has gone up.

1272
00:38:20,732 --> 00:38:21,865
'Cause I was getting
good at Japanese,

1273
00:38:21,900 --> 00:38:22,565
don't get me wrong.

1274
00:38:22,601 --> 00:38:23,833
I was getting really good.

1275
00:38:23,869 --> 00:38:25,602
You know, I could say-- and
it's a great language.

1276
00:38:25,637 --> 00:38:26,569
It's powerful.

1277
00:38:26,605 --> 00:38:27,737
'Cause you speak Japanese
from your chest.

1278
00:38:27,773 --> 00:38:28,805
It makes you feel strong.

1279
00:38:31,043 --> 00:38:32,676
<i>Yeah.</i>

1280
00:38:32,711 --> 00:38:33,943
<i>Japanese is easy.</i>

1281
00:38:33,979 --> 00:38:35,612
<i>You have 3,000 characters
and a stronger language.</i>

1282
00:38:36,715 --> 00:38:37,881
I mean everything in
Japanese is strong.

1283
00:38:37,916 --> 00:38:38,715
Even the greeting.

1284
00:38:39,885 --> 00:38:41,017
Power.

1285
00:38:41,053 --> 00:38:41,751
Thank you.

1286
00:38:43,789 --> 00:38:44,554
Power.

1287
00:38:44,589 --> 00:38:45,188
Yes.

1288
00:38:45,223 --> 00:38:46,489
It's a great language.

1289
00:38:46,525 --> 00:38:47,757
And say other things
as well like

1290
00:38:50,262 --> 00:38:51,928
Which means good luck dolphin.

1291
00:38:53,699 --> 00:38:56,099
Granted not very useable
in everyday language.

1292
00:38:56,134 --> 00:38:58,568
But yeah, it works I guess.

1293
00:38:58,603 --> 00:39:00,003
You know, it works.

1294
00:39:00,038 --> 00:39:01,304
I could also say
other things like

1295
00:39:05,677 --> 00:39:08,445
Which means look, the
chickens are running around.

1296
00:39:10,682 --> 00:39:12,549
You laugh but
I've used it successfully

1297
00:39:12,584 --> 00:39:13,650
on many occasions.

1298
00:39:14,986 --> 00:39:16,986
By many occasions I mean once.

1299
00:39:18,223 --> 00:39:21,291
I was in an airport standing
at the baggage carousel

1300
00:39:21,326 --> 00:39:24,627
and this Japanese guy came
and he stood next to me

1301
00:39:24,663 --> 00:39:26,229
and we're standing there
and I'm-- I look at him

1302
00:39:26,264 --> 00:39:29,165
and I've been waiting for
years to speak Japanese.

1303
00:39:29,768 --> 00:39:30,367
I'm super excited.

1304
00:39:30,402 --> 00:39:31,935
I was like what?

1305
00:39:31,970 --> 00:39:33,703
This guy's Japanese.

1306
00:39:35,073 --> 00:39:35,972
And he's like

1307
00:39:36,007 --> 00:39:37,574
I can hear you.

1308
00:39:40,779 --> 00:39:41,411
Sorry.

1309
00:39:41,446 --> 00:39:42,812
I thought I was thinking.

1310
00:39:44,549 --> 00:39:45,248
You Japanese?

1311
00:39:45,283 --> 00:39:45,882
He's like

1312
00:39:45,917 --> 00:39:46,383
yes.

1313
00:39:46,418 --> 00:39:47,717
I am Japanese.

1314
00:39:47,753 --> 00:39:49,586
I was like.

1315
00:39:50,889 --> 00:39:51,488
He's

1316
00:39:54,926 --> 00:39:56,259
Pleasure to meet you.

1317
00:40:04,503 --> 00:40:07,470
You speak very good Japanese.

1318
00:40:07,506 --> 00:40:08,772
I was like yeah.

1319
00:40:10,242 --> 00:40:13,777
So, I look over and I went.

1320
00:40:17,249 --> 00:40:18,615
I am not a dolphin.

1321
00:40:20,519 --> 00:40:22,585
But thank you for the good luck.

1322
00:40:24,189 --> 00:40:26,222
I was like I
can't believe this works.

1323
00:40:26,258 --> 00:40:26,923
I looked over I was like

1324
00:40:30,796 --> 00:40:34,631
He was like.

1325
00:40:34,666 --> 00:40:36,699
I don't
see the chicken anywhere!

1326
00:40:38,837 --> 00:40:42,772
You speak very strange Japanese.

1327
00:40:42,808 --> 00:40:44,974
Where did you learn?

1328
00:40:45,010 --> 00:40:48,611
I said I
learn in all different places.

1329
00:40:48,647 --> 00:40:52,382
All over my life.

1330
00:40:52,417 --> 00:40:55,452
Why do you speak English
with a Japanese accent now?

1331
00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:01,991
I don't know.

1332
00:41:02,027 --> 00:41:04,027
I get carried away.

1333
00:41:06,431 --> 00:41:08,465
You freaking me out.

1334
00:41:10,001 --> 00:41:12,202
I'm freaking out too!

1335
00:41:13,405 --> 00:41:14,204
You guys have
been so much fun, man.

1336
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:15,238
Thanks for hanging out.

1337
00:41:16,374 --> 00:41:18,308
<i>Thanks for coming to the show.</i>

1338
00:41:18,343 --> 00:41:19,075
<i>Good night.</i>

1339
00:41:22,481 --> 00:41:23,046
<i>Thank you.</i>