1
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,205
How's that? Is that good for you?
2
00:00:12,285 --> 00:00:14,325
Not really.
You're just dry humping my leg.
3
00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:16,285
Okay, um, let's switch positions.
4
00:00:20,165 --> 00:00:22,125
What about this?
5
00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,005
Oh, leg cramp!
6
00:00:24,085 --> 00:00:28,845
Oh! Ooh! Okay. Oh, yeah.
7
00:00:28,925 --> 00:00:30,885
Oh! Oh!
8
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,565
Oh!
9
00:00:32,645 --> 00:00:34,205
Do you have to be so vigorous?
10
00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:35,645
Sex is meant to be vigorous.
11
00:00:36,045 --> 00:00:38,205
- Oh!
- Okay, time out. Time out.
12
00:00:41,765 --> 00:00:44,605
Um...
13
00:00:44,685 --> 00:00:47,485
Do you want me to go down on you? Ruthie?
14
00:00:48,605 --> 00:00:50,605
Or we could watch Blue Planet?
15
00:00:50,685 --> 00:00:54,245
Okay.
16
00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:01,405
Well, the silky sharks
are a beautiful shark.
17
00:01:01,485 --> 00:01:06,365
And what makes them even more fascinating
is that there are thousands of them here.
18
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:14,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
19
00:01:19,045 --> 00:01:21,045
Minge!
20
00:01:21,125 --> 00:01:23,005
That's enough.
21
00:01:23,085 --> 00:01:24,661
Settle down.
22
00:02:04,485 --> 00:02:05,925
- Ah-ha!
- Hey.
23
00:02:06,005 --> 00:02:07,765
- You're in love with Maeve.
- What?
24
00:02:07,845 --> 00:02:09,925
- I'm not... I'm not in love.
- Mm-hm.
25
00:02:10,045 --> 00:02:10,885
Don't be ridiculous.
26
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,101
You’ve been glued to your phone
for, like, three weeks,
27
00:02:13,125 --> 00:02:14,805
and every time she texts you,
this happens.
28
00:02:14,845 --> 00:02:16,741
- What happens? Oh, sorry.
- Watch it, breadstick.
29
00:02:16,765 --> 00:02:17,925
Okay. Have a nice day.
30
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:21,565
This! You turn into smiley,
happy cupcake Otis. It’s weird.
31
00:02:21,645 --> 00:02:23,205
I don't know what you're talking about.
32
00:02:23,285 --> 00:02:25,661
Maeve and I are work colleagues
and we're friends. That’s it.
33
00:02:25,685 --> 00:02:28,485
- Yeah. Friends.
- Boys and girls can be friends.
34
00:02:28,605 --> 00:02:30,765
Yeah, sure. Their genitals can be friends.
35
00:02:30,845 --> 00:02:33,005
I thought you said Maeve was
with Jackson now, anyway.
36
00:02:33,085 --> 00:02:35,925
They're not with each other.
They’re just, you know...
37
00:02:36,005 --> 00:02:38,805
Having super-hot, athletic,
sweaty intercourse?
38
00:02:38,885 --> 00:02:40,405
- Casual sex.
- Uh! Uh!
39
00:02:41,005 --> 00:02:43,085
You seem to know a lot
about her relationship status.
40
00:02:43,165 --> 00:02:45,805
Yes, because we're friends
and friends share things.
41
00:02:45,885 --> 00:02:47,005
Like bodily fluids?
42
00:02:47,565 --> 00:02:48,565
Hey, look.
43
00:02:49,405 --> 00:02:50,925
- Still looking for a job?
- Hah, yeah.
44
00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:52,685
Nice try, but you can't distract me
45
00:02:52,765 --> 00:02:54,925
from the fact
that you're clearly in love with Maeve!
46
00:03:28,285 --> 00:03:30,605
- That was good.
- Yeah.
47
00:03:37,445 --> 00:03:40,405
I haven’t seen you for a while. I thought
you didn't wanna hook up anymore.
48
00:03:40,525 --> 00:03:42,045
- I've been busy.
- All right.
49
00:03:44,005 --> 00:03:45,325
Do you wanna hang out later?
50
00:03:45,405 --> 00:03:47,165
- We just had sex.
- I mean, like...
51
00:03:47,765 --> 00:03:49,485
You know, hang out.
52
00:03:50,445 --> 00:03:52,805
Jackson, I’m not offended
that you wanna keep this a secret.
53
00:03:52,965 --> 00:03:54,245
It’s casual and it works for me.
54
00:03:54,285 --> 00:03:56,925
You don't have to try
and be honorable and shit. Okay?
55
00:03:57,645 --> 00:03:58,645
See you later.
56
00:03:59,685 --> 00:04:00,725
Sh...
57
00:04:09,965 --> 00:04:11,485
Oh, my God. Jackson is so hot.
58
00:04:12,325 --> 00:04:15,205
Jackson is looking at us. God.
59
00:04:17,805 --> 00:04:19,885
- Jackson's approaching us.
- Mind if I join you?
60
00:04:19,965 --> 00:04:21,245
- Jackson is here.
- Uh...
61
00:04:21,325 --> 00:04:22,845
- You know Maeve, right?
- Nah.
62
00:04:23,285 --> 00:04:24,405
Yes, you do. He does.
63
00:04:24,485 --> 00:04:27,845
Well, yeah, I mean... we're friends.
We're just friends, you know.
64
00:04:27,925 --> 00:04:29,405
- Hey, man, I'm...
- Handsome.
65
00:04:29,805 --> 00:04:32,485
- Sorry, you are...
- Eric.
66
00:04:33,405 --> 00:04:34,405
Eric.
67
00:04:35,485 --> 00:04:37,605
Some people know me as Tromboner.
68
00:04:39,845 --> 00:04:41,125
- So, I need your help.
- Me?
69
00:04:41,205 --> 00:04:42,685
I mean... me?
70
00:04:42,765 --> 00:04:45,365
- Well, Maeve and I, we're, you know...
- Boning.
71
00:04:45,445 --> 00:04:46,645
Yeah. And it's great.
72
00:04:46,725 --> 00:04:49,605
But I've sort of realized that I want her
to hang around with me more.
73
00:04:49,685 --> 00:04:51,325
- Mm.
- You know, afterwards.
74
00:04:51,405 --> 00:04:54,205
- After the boning. Mm.
- Yeah, so I thought you could help me out.
75
00:04:54,885 --> 00:04:57,605
You want him to help you get Maeve
to be your girlfriend?
76
00:04:57,685 --> 00:04:58,685
Yeah.
77
00:04:58,925 --> 00:05:01,045
Yeah, I don't really know what I can do.
78
00:05:01,125 --> 00:05:02,125
So...
79
00:05:02,165 --> 00:05:04,221
- Well, I mean, you're her friend.
- You're her friend?
80
00:05:04,245 --> 00:05:06,445
And I heard you
sort of give out sex advice.
81
00:05:06,525 --> 00:05:08,285
- Yeah, he does.
- Yeah.
82
00:05:08,365 --> 00:05:11,245
So I thought
you were the right person to talk to.
83
00:05:12,485 --> 00:05:15,125
I mean, I can pay, if that's the problem.
84
00:05:15,205 --> 00:05:17,045
- I...
- Oh, shit, I've gotta run.
85
00:05:17,125 --> 00:05:18,461
- Let’s catch up later.
- Wait, no.
86
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,485
- I really appreciate this, man. Take care.
- Yeah.
87
00:05:20,565 --> 00:05:21,565
This...
88
00:05:27,725 --> 00:05:29,125
Is that Jackson's new girlfriend?
89
00:05:30,125 --> 00:05:32,925
Oh! Ha! You are like a pimp.
90
00:05:33,485 --> 00:05:36,005
And not the cool Snoop Dogg kind.
91
00:05:36,525 --> 00:05:38,325
Hm!
92
00:05:40,645 --> 00:05:41,645
D.
93
00:05:43,445 --> 00:05:44,685
D.
94
00:05:46,125 --> 00:05:47,125
E.
95
00:05:47,565 --> 00:05:50,165
And on this one
you just drew a picture of a...
96
00:05:50,245 --> 00:05:52,405
That's a... It's a woman's behind.
97
00:05:52,485 --> 00:05:54,125
There. There's a...
98
00:05:55,085 --> 00:05:57,485
- That's a bumhole, there's a vagina.
- You won't be laughing
99
00:05:57,525 --> 00:06:00,165
when you throw yourself off
a motorway bridge at the age of 35
100
00:06:00,245 --> 00:06:02,325
because of the failure you have become!
101
00:06:06,285 --> 00:06:08,965
I have spoken to the dean
at Mountview Military this morning.
102
00:06:10,365 --> 00:06:12,525
- Dad, I...
- Your name is on the waiting list.
103
00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:15,885
You have until the end of term to get
these grades up and change my mind.
104
00:06:35,365 --> 00:06:37,285
Sorry I'm late. I had a, uh...
105
00:06:37,365 --> 00:06:38,365
Had a thing.
106
00:06:39,085 --> 00:06:40,925
Get it together, we've got clients.
107
00:06:41,005 --> 00:06:43,765
Roger. Affirmative. Good to go.
108
00:06:47,165 --> 00:06:49,525
It’s like the more we try,
the worse it gets.
109
00:06:49,645 --> 00:06:51,685
Like we can't get in sync
or find a rhythm.
110
00:06:52,325 --> 00:06:55,005
When we're having sex, I feel like
I've never seen a vagina before.
111
00:06:55,085 --> 00:06:57,165
But I have, I've got one
and I've looked at it a lot.
112
00:06:57,445 --> 00:06:59,901
It's got to the point where when
I think about touching Ruthie,
113
00:06:59,925 --> 00:07:02,405
I get really panicked, because
I know it's gonna be really bad.
114
00:07:02,485 --> 00:07:04,365
Like when you put together
a bookshelf from IKEA
115
00:07:04,445 --> 00:07:06,285
and you realize
you don’t have the right screw
116
00:07:06,365 --> 00:07:07,925
and the whole thing was a waste of time
117
00:07:07,965 --> 00:07:09,805
and then you just hate everything
about Sweden.
118
00:07:10,325 --> 00:07:13,325
- Ruthie, tell him how bad it is.
- Look, I don't know why we're doing this.
119
00:07:13,605 --> 00:07:16,245
It's not like some advice
from a 16-year-old straight dude
120
00:07:16,325 --> 00:07:17,645
is gonna magically fix us.
121
00:07:18,165 --> 00:07:19,165
It’s stupid.
122
00:07:19,485 --> 00:07:21,725
Yeah, well, I mean, you're right, Ruthie.
123
00:07:21,805 --> 00:07:23,485
I'm not particularly well-versed
124
00:07:23,565 --> 00:07:25,885
in the intricacies
of lesbian sexual relations,
125
00:07:26,165 --> 00:07:27,165
but I think,
126
00:07:27,645 --> 00:07:30,845
if I can learn a bit more about your
emotional relationship to one another,
127
00:07:30,925 --> 00:07:33,285
I might be able to get closer
to the root of the problem.
128
00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:35,565
We don’t have a problem
with our relationship.
129
00:07:36,485 --> 00:07:38,045
We're in love and it's great.
130
00:07:38,685 --> 00:07:39,685
We're just...
131
00:07:40,205 --> 00:07:41,205
inexperienced.
132
00:07:41,365 --> 00:07:43,405
This is my first lesbian relationship.
133
00:07:43,805 --> 00:07:44,885
Me too.
134
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,525
First, I mean,
lesbian sex therapy session.
135
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,365
So have you got any ideas, Kinsey?
136
00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:51,885
I'd like to have an orgasm
sometime this century.
137
00:07:52,525 --> 00:07:53,885
Yeah, leave it with me.
138
00:07:54,045 --> 00:07:56,245
I’ll do some research
and see what I can come up with.
139
00:07:56,325 --> 00:07:57,325
Yeah, brilliant.
140
00:07:58,045 --> 00:07:59,445
Thanks, thank you.
141
00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:04,125
How'd it go?
142
00:08:05,325 --> 00:08:06,565
Might be a tricky one.
143
00:08:12,405 --> 00:08:13,525
Ah...
144
00:08:16,965 --> 00:08:18,285
I'm so sorry.
145
00:08:18,845 --> 00:08:21,925
I'm sorry, I'm coming down with something.
Nothing serious, though.
146
00:08:22,165 --> 00:08:23,965
Do you want to come in
and we can get started?
147
00:08:24,005 --> 00:08:25,565
- I'm just gonna grab my...
- Follow me.
148
00:08:39,965 --> 00:08:41,205
Have a seat.
149
00:08:42,125 --> 00:08:43,165
I won't bite.
150
00:08:48,805 --> 00:08:49,805
So...
151
00:08:50,245 --> 00:08:51,645
scrotal anxiety.
152
00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:55,285
Your email implies you've been struggling
with this for a while.
153
00:08:56,445 --> 00:09:00,725
Why don't you start by telling me
your earliest memory of your scrotum?
154
00:09:02,725 --> 00:09:04,165
Oh, goodness.
155
00:09:04,245 --> 00:09:05,885
I'm sorry, I completely forgot.
156
00:09:05,965 --> 00:09:07,125
I, uh...
157
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:10,245
- I'm having my bathroom redone.
- Yeah, I know.
158
00:09:10,645 --> 00:09:12,045
I have my tools outside.
159
00:09:13,605 --> 00:09:15,845
So I'd better go and get them, right?
160
00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:23,325
Earliest memory,
161
00:09:23,965 --> 00:09:25,525
I'd just turned five.
162
00:09:26,725 --> 00:09:28,085
And I was looking down,
163
00:09:28,725 --> 00:09:29,765
and thought,
164
00:09:30,685 --> 00:09:33,205
"Oh, there are my balls."
165
00:09:38,925 --> 00:09:41,845
The topic for this year's sixth form
essay competition is
166
00:09:41,925 --> 00:09:44,645
"Every great dream
begins with a dreamer."
167
00:09:44,725 --> 00:09:45,925
Entry is compulsory.
168
00:09:46,005 --> 00:09:49,005
This is a fantastic opportunity
that could look very good
169
00:09:49,085 --> 00:09:51,085
on your university applications
next year.
170
00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:54,805
Are any of you even listening?
No, I didn't think so. Anyway...
171
00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:57,325
Here's some more information.
Take it or leave it.
172
00:09:57,445 --> 00:10:00,565
I'll be interested to see your take
on this, Maeve. Genuinely.
173
00:10:10,725 --> 00:10:12,861
- I'm giving the money back.
- No, hold up.
174
00:10:12,885 --> 00:10:16,125
You have a rare opportunity here to use
your power for self-interest.
175
00:10:16,205 --> 00:10:17,085
What do you mean?
176
00:10:17,165 --> 00:10:20,045
You keep the money. Give Jackson
the wrong advice. Make trouble.
177
00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:21,565
Okay, that is unethical
178
00:10:21,645 --> 00:10:23,085
- on so many levels.
- Oh!
179
00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:24,605
Yeah, unethical or...
180
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:27,085
badass?
181
00:10:27,165 --> 00:10:28,261
- Completely unethical.
- Ugh!
182
00:10:28,285 --> 00:10:29,885
Eric, I'm giving the money back.
183
00:10:30,365 --> 00:10:31,845
Okay? End of story.
184
00:10:31,925 --> 00:10:34,405
Well, after you then, Captain Morality.
185
00:10:36,645 --> 00:10:37,885
Otis!
186
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,245
You tracked me down.
187
00:10:39,685 --> 00:10:41,925
Listen, I...
I need to give this back to you.
188
00:10:42,405 --> 00:10:44,965
I feel uncomfortable talking
behind Maeve’s back. It’s wrong.
189
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:47,165
It's unethical and it's just wrong.
190
00:10:47,485 --> 00:10:48,845
- I get it.
- All right, cool.
191
00:10:48,925 --> 00:10:50,605
Yeah. No problem. You're an honorable guy.
192
00:10:50,925 --> 00:10:54,165
- Great. Here's the money.
- Maeve is such a head-fuck, man.
193
00:10:54,245 --> 00:10:57,285
Like a Rubik's Cube. She says one thing
and then does something else.
194
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,365
And I can't keep up.
195
00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:00,525
- Know what I mean?
- Not really. But here you go.
196
00:11:00,605 --> 00:11:02,045
We’ll have crazy amazing sex, yeah?
197
00:11:02,125 --> 00:11:04,405
I'm talking, like,
transcendental-level shagging.
198
00:11:04,485 --> 00:11:05,405
- Okay, stop!
- Aaah!
199
00:11:05,485 --> 00:11:07,405
And then she ignores me for days.
200
00:11:07,485 --> 00:11:11,405
But then, she wants to do it again
and round and round we go.
201
00:11:11,485 --> 00:11:14,405
She's like some sexy merry-go-round,
and I can't get off.
202
00:11:14,485 --> 00:11:15,605
She's not an object!
203
00:11:15,685 --> 00:11:17,525
Ohh... What?
204
00:11:17,605 --> 00:11:19,725
Uh... I said she's not an object.
205
00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:22,885
You keep describing her
as inanimate objects, but she is a person.
206
00:11:23,605 --> 00:11:25,661
Have you even thought
about asking her what she wants
207
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,805
or what she likes?
208
00:11:27,205 --> 00:11:29,045
- Well, what does she like?
- Lots of things.
209
00:11:29,165 --> 00:11:31,645
Um... Female writers, for a start.
210
00:11:31,845 --> 00:11:32,925
Oh, like The Hunger Games?
211
00:11:33,165 --> 00:11:36,645
More like, uh, Virginia Woolf
or Roxane Gay or Sylvia Plath.
212
00:11:36,725 --> 00:11:40,645
She also has a great taste in music.
Joy Division, Nirvana, Bikini Kill...
213
00:11:40,725 --> 00:11:42,765
But she's not a snob.
I mean, she'll listen to pop.
214
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:45,885
- And she has a really dark sense of humor.
- I didn't know that.
215
00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:47,605
What are you... What are you doing?
216
00:11:47,685 --> 00:11:49,765
I'm taking notes. This is super helpful.
217
00:11:49,845 --> 00:11:51,565
No! No! I'm not helping.
218
00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:53,325
- This is not helping.
- Yeah, it is.
219
00:11:53,405 --> 00:11:56,125
Stop pulling your pricks and get out here!
40 lengths!
220
00:11:56,205 --> 00:11:57,445
Get a move on, Jackson.
221
00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,005
Thank you so much. You're a lifesaver.
222
00:12:00,085 --> 00:12:02,005
- Take care.
- Yeah.
223
00:12:02,085 --> 00:12:03,085
Bye, Jackson.
224
00:12:05,565 --> 00:12:06,565
Oh, no.
225
00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:10,125
Good job.
226
00:12:10,165 --> 00:12:11,165
Good job.
227
00:12:23,605 --> 00:12:24,941
Ugh.
228
00:12:24,965 --> 00:12:26,405
Go get herpes somewhere else, guys.
229
00:12:33,365 --> 00:12:34,445
Oh, hey, Maeve.
230
00:12:35,485 --> 00:12:37,165
You’re not actually reading
Virginia Woolf.
231
00:12:37,205 --> 00:12:38,965
Why wouldn't I be? She's a brilliant mind.
232
00:12:40,685 --> 00:12:42,005
Who’s the big-nosed chick?
233
00:12:42,445 --> 00:12:45,965
A fierce, feminist voice
of 20th-century Britain, obviously.
234
00:12:46,165 --> 00:12:48,501
I've never seen you read before.
Is this some kind of joke?
235
00:12:48,525 --> 00:12:50,645
No! I read all the time.
236
00:12:54,845 --> 00:12:55,845
Hey.
237
00:12:57,645 --> 00:12:59,925
Do you know you are the only person
238
00:13:00,005 --> 00:13:03,525
to take this book out of the library
since 1972?
239
00:13:04,165 --> 00:13:05,245
Not anymore, apparently.
240
00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:12,885
So now he's a feminist!
241
00:13:12,965 --> 00:13:15,005
You've made the hottest guy in school
even hotter.
242
00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:17,245
He's basically Ryan Gosling. Well done.
243
00:13:17,325 --> 00:13:19,485
You don't understand. He's like a Jedi.
244
00:13:19,645 --> 00:13:23,285
Okay? He just talked, and no matter
what I did, he got what he wanted.
245
00:13:23,365 --> 00:13:26,445
The one thing you had going for you
was that you're all woke and shit.
246
00:13:26,645 --> 00:13:29,285
Kind of counters
the whole lame virgin thing.
247
00:13:29,365 --> 00:13:31,565
Now he's checking his privilege.
It's game over.
248
00:13:31,965 --> 00:13:33,501
- It's not a game.
- It is a game.
249
00:13:33,525 --> 00:13:35,805
- Because Maeve and I are just friends.
- Hm.
250
00:13:36,325 --> 00:13:38,605
Anyway, she's not gonna fall
for this whole performance.
251
00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:41,285
Oh, my God, I love Virginia Woolf.
252
00:13:42,245 --> 00:13:43,845
Nice guys finish last.
253
00:13:43,925 --> 00:13:46,565
Especially when there's a nicer guy
with rock-hard abs.
254
00:13:55,845 --> 00:13:57,845
Ruby thinks Kyle should change
the way he dresses,
255
00:13:57,925 --> 00:13:59,405
but I think he looks nice.
256
00:13:59,485 --> 00:14:01,605
He has been wearing
a lot of trackie bottoms recently,
257
00:14:01,685 --> 00:14:03,605
but that's only
'cause he set his jeans on fire.
258
00:14:04,245 --> 00:14:05,445
What?
259
00:14:05,525 --> 00:14:07,205
He’s got second-degree burns
on his thighs,
260
00:14:07,285 --> 00:14:09,566
but he was blazed when it happened,
so it only hurt a bit.
261
00:14:10,245 --> 00:14:11,245
Hey, Maeve.
262
00:14:11,325 --> 00:14:13,005
What do you think Woolf meant by,
263
00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:15,765
"The history of men's opposition
to women's emancipation
264
00:14:15,845 --> 00:14:18,925
is more interesting, perhaps, than
the story of that emancipation itself"?
265
00:14:20,285 --> 00:14:22,965
That men are dicks,
and selective castration is our only hope.
266
00:14:24,285 --> 00:14:25,725
You know, you are so dark.
267
00:14:26,765 --> 00:14:29,405
- What?
- Your humor, it's dark. I like dark humor.
268
00:14:31,045 --> 00:14:32,045
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.
269
00:14:35,325 --> 00:14:37,005
He's being so weird.
270
00:14:37,605 --> 00:14:39,125
I think he’s peacocking.
271
00:14:39,725 --> 00:14:40,805
But with words.
272
00:14:42,285 --> 00:14:44,285
Girls, less chatting, more running!
273
00:14:46,525 --> 00:14:48,125
- Look! Look, look, look!
- I know! Okay!
274
00:14:56,725 --> 00:14:58,205
Are you listening to Sløtface?
275
00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:02,965
Oh, what? Sløtface?
Yeah, their new album is incredible.
276
00:15:03,205 --> 00:15:04,445
Since when do you like punk?
277
00:15:04,525 --> 00:15:05,605
Oh, wait, do you like punk?
278
00:15:06,165 --> 00:15:07,965
- Among other things.
- Ah!
279
00:15:08,445 --> 00:15:10,981
Well, I've actually got a spare ticket
for this local band night.
280
00:15:11,005 --> 00:15:12,365
Pussyfest. Do you wanna come?
281
00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:15,725
- Maybe.
- All right, it's a date.
282
00:15:16,565 --> 00:15:19,445
Actually, I can't.
I've got an essay to write.
283
00:15:19,525 --> 00:15:21,045
- Huh?
- Have fun, though.
284
00:15:27,165 --> 00:15:28,445
She's not gonna text you.
285
00:15:29,285 --> 00:15:30,565
She's texting Jackson now.
286
00:15:31,205 --> 00:15:32,965
Who needs a friend
when you have a boyfriend?
287
00:15:33,045 --> 00:15:34,805
Uh, he's not her boyfriend. Okay?
288
00:15:34,885 --> 00:15:37,245
I mean, I wouldn't care if he was,
but he's not.
289
00:15:37,325 --> 00:15:38,445
He's literally not.
290
00:15:39,925 --> 00:15:41,885
Well, well. Appears you were wrong.
291
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:44,405
I've gotta go.
292
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,645
See, Maeve and I still run
a sex clinic together.
293
00:15:46,725 --> 00:15:48,085
And that's still weird.
294
00:15:50,605 --> 00:15:52,645
That's really, really weird.
295
00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:05,765
What?
296
00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:08,981
Is the music too loud?
297
00:16:09,005 --> 00:16:10,005
N... No, it's fine.
298
00:16:10,045 --> 00:16:14,005
Okay.
299
00:16:14,445 --> 00:16:16,565
How's it going?
300
00:16:16,645 --> 00:16:19,725
Quite a bit of mold,
but, uh, it's fixable.
301
00:16:20,365 --> 00:16:21,365
Great.
302
00:16:21,445 --> 00:16:24,125
- I mean, that's fine.
- Yeah.
303
00:16:26,245 --> 00:16:27,725
Are you writing another book?
304
00:16:28,205 --> 00:16:29,045
Uh...
305
00:16:29,125 --> 00:16:32,525
I mean, I saw that you've...
you've written books,
306
00:16:32,885 --> 00:16:34,445
this morning, in your office.
307
00:16:34,805 --> 00:16:37,725
Yes, I did. A very long time ago.
308
00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:41,245
But, um... I don't really write anymore.
309
00:16:42,525 --> 00:16:43,525
Why?
310
00:16:45,765 --> 00:16:47,445
Well, um...
311
00:16:48,565 --> 00:16:51,045
I wrote that last book with my...
312
00:16:51,405 --> 00:16:52,405
ex-husband.
313
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:56,045
And we split just after the publication.
314
00:16:56,365 --> 00:17:00,965
And I tried, but, to be honest, um...
315
00:17:01,725 --> 00:17:04,045
the fear creeps in a bit as you get older.
316
00:17:05,045 --> 00:17:06,805
I don't know why I'm telling you that.
317
00:17:08,165 --> 00:17:09,165
Fuck fear.
318
00:17:10,205 --> 00:17:11,205
I'm sorry?
319
00:17:11,645 --> 00:17:12,765
Fuck the fear.
320
00:17:13,005 --> 00:17:15,925
Tomorrow, you could be driving along
in your car, happily,
321
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:21,085
and then, uh, smash you, uh, head to head
with an 18-wheeler truck
322
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:24,085
and you're squished to the road,
and you're dead.
323
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,125
Just a waste of time.
324
00:17:27,245 --> 00:17:28,245
So fuck fear.
325
00:17:31,205 --> 00:17:32,205
Hello, darling.
326
00:17:33,405 --> 00:17:34,685
- Hi.
- Hi.
327
00:17:35,845 --> 00:17:37,405
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. Yeah.
328
00:17:37,565 --> 00:17:39,565
- Homework stuff.
- Well...
329
00:17:39,685 --> 00:17:42,805
I should leave you to it.
330
00:18:14,925 --> 00:18:15,925
Sorry.
331
00:18:16,205 --> 00:18:17,245
It's okay.
332
00:18:17,525 --> 00:18:18,605
Hello!
333
00:18:18,885 --> 00:18:20,445
Are you a friend of Otis'?
334
00:18:20,525 --> 00:18:22,765
No, I'm here to pick up my father.
335
00:18:23,925 --> 00:18:26,885
You know, intense European dude.
Thinks he’s a comedian.
336
00:18:26,965 --> 00:18:29,925
Piercing blue eyes. He's got "fuck"
written across his hand...
337
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:35,965
Don't be a man-child,
get a move on. I'm late for work!
338
00:18:44,005 --> 00:18:46,085
I am ignoring you. Hurry up.
339
00:18:48,005 --> 00:18:49,965
Please can I use your bathroom?
340
00:18:50,205 --> 00:18:51,965
Yes. It's upstairs.
341
00:18:52,285 --> 00:18:53,285
Thanks.
342
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:04,685
Mum!
343
00:19:05,045 --> 00:19:07,045
You're not my mum.
344
00:19:07,125 --> 00:19:09,045
I just... I'm not...
345
00:19:09,125 --> 00:19:10,245
This is research!
346
00:19:10,325 --> 00:19:12,005
Uh...
347
00:19:16,885 --> 00:19:19,485
You should probably think about
gettin' a lock on this door.
348
00:19:20,405 --> 00:19:21,605
Where's the bathroom?
349
00:19:22,085 --> 00:19:24,165
- Uh, on your left.
- Thanks.
350
00:19:32,445 --> 00:19:34,205
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
351
00:19:34,285 --> 00:19:35,925
Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.
352
00:19:36,685 --> 00:19:38,605
Oh, don't annoy me.
353
00:19:38,685 --> 00:19:39,965
How have you pooped?
354
00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:41,045
Oh, yuck.
355
00:19:41,485 --> 00:19:43,805
Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck,
yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck.
356
00:19:43,885 --> 00:19:45,965
Okay, stay.
357
00:19:46,405 --> 00:19:48,245
Yeah, you should feel bad.
358
00:19:49,845 --> 00:19:51,485
Ugh.
359
00:19:53,005 --> 00:19:57,085
Uh... Francis, Bacon, get back here!
360
00:19:57,165 --> 00:19:58,805
Oh! Come on! Come on!
361
00:19:58,885 --> 00:20:00,085
What the hell?
362
00:20:00,805 --> 00:20:02,405
Uh, Francis!
363
00:20:03,085 --> 00:20:04,245
Bacon!
364
00:20:06,965 --> 00:20:08,085
Shit.
365
00:20:09,445 --> 00:20:11,845
Oh, okay. Come on, guys, come on.
366
00:20:12,405 --> 00:20:13,645
Oh. Come on.
367
00:20:14,085 --> 00:20:15,645
Hey.
368
00:20:17,285 --> 00:20:20,005
Sorry, new job. Dog walker.
369
00:20:20,725 --> 00:20:21,725
Gay.
370
00:20:25,085 --> 00:20:26,165
Quiet, Madam.
371
00:20:27,045 --> 00:20:28,725
Be quiet, Madam.
372
00:20:29,405 --> 00:20:30,405
Um...
373
00:20:33,005 --> 00:20:34,445
She's not my dog. She's my mum's.
374
00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:37,005
Yeah, she's cute.
375
00:20:37,085 --> 00:20:39,325
She's a champ. Okay?
376
00:20:40,485 --> 00:20:42,445
She’s like the Kim Kardashian
of tiny dogs.
377
00:20:43,045 --> 00:20:44,045
Oh.
378
00:20:46,565 --> 00:20:47,885
Up, Madam.
379
00:20:47,965 --> 00:20:49,245
Up! Show me tits.
380
00:20:49,325 --> 00:20:52,525
- Good girl. Oh! Good girl.
- Hey!
381
00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:54,325
That is wicked.
382
00:20:54,685 --> 00:20:57,165
Hey, Madam sounds a bit like Adam.
383
00:20:58,805 --> 00:21:00,685
What are you trying to say?
384
00:21:00,765 --> 00:21:03,525
Nothing. Nothing. Okay, bye. Bye, um...
385
00:21:10,525 --> 00:21:12,085
- Madam! Madam!
- Um...
386
00:21:12,165 --> 00:21:13,285
I'm so sorry.
387
00:21:13,365 --> 00:21:15,685
Uh, I've gotta drop these off,
but I can come back...
388
00:21:15,765 --> 00:21:18,765
Don't bother, okay? You shouldn’t be
walkin' dogs if you can’t control them.
389
00:21:19,605 --> 00:21:20,845
Just fuck off.
390
00:21:22,685 --> 00:21:24,925
Madam! Madam!
391
00:22:25,005 --> 00:22:26,565
You can't even walk a dog!
392
00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:29,685
The mind boggles!
393
00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:31,725
Think about poor Madam!
394
00:22:31,805 --> 00:22:35,485
Out there alone. Won't last five minutes!
395
00:22:35,565 --> 00:22:38,405
Are you happy?
396
00:22:38,485 --> 00:22:41,341
You broke her heart. Your own mother.
397
00:22:41,365 --> 00:22:44,485
It wasn't me. I swear it wasn't my fault.
398
00:22:44,565 --> 00:22:47,725
Excuses, excuses. Go on, go!
399
00:22:54,085 --> 00:22:56,165
Fuck!
400
00:23:26,365 --> 00:23:27,365
Hello.
401
00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:29,365
Hi.
402
00:23:32,725 --> 00:23:33,725
Okay, then.
403
00:23:34,125 --> 00:23:35,125
I heard a thing.
404
00:23:38,525 --> 00:23:42,205
- Okay.
- This thing concerns your virginal status.
405
00:23:43,165 --> 00:23:45,205
Excuse me?
406
00:23:45,605 --> 00:23:48,365
I heard on the grapevine
that your cherry remains unpopped.
407
00:23:48,445 --> 00:23:51,205
- That's none of your business.
- Yeah, let’s skip the faux modesty.
408
00:23:51,285 --> 00:23:53,405
- I'm down if you are.
- Down?
409
00:23:54,365 --> 00:23:55,725
Deflowering the maiden.
410
00:23:56,765 --> 00:23:59,245
Breaking the lawn chair,
skinning the fish.
411
00:24:00,085 --> 00:24:03,165
- Your dick in my vagina. What do you say?
- Yeah, um...
412
00:24:04,925 --> 00:24:05,965
Wait, sorry, who are you?
413
00:24:06,605 --> 00:24:08,005
Whoever you want me to be.
414
00:24:10,485 --> 00:24:11,485
Also, I'm Lily.
415
00:24:12,445 --> 00:24:15,765
Well, thanks, Lily, but, um...
416
00:24:16,245 --> 00:24:18,005
I'm gonna have to politely decline.
417
00:24:18,325 --> 00:24:19,325
Okay.
418
00:24:19,765 --> 00:24:21,565
Well, if you change your mind,
419
00:24:21,725 --> 00:24:23,925
you can usually find me in music room B.
420
00:24:24,725 --> 00:24:25,725
Or algebra club.
421
00:24:27,085 --> 00:24:28,085
Bye, then.
422
00:24:28,605 --> 00:24:29,605
Bye.
423
00:24:33,085 --> 00:24:34,765
Woof-woof-woof! O-Dawg!
424
00:24:34,845 --> 00:24:36,885
Uh... J... Dude.
425
00:24:36,965 --> 00:24:38,765
Just wanna say thanks for the help, man.
426
00:24:38,845 --> 00:24:40,485
Me and Maeve have been texting all night.
427
00:24:40,525 --> 00:24:42,205
- She's, like, mad brainy.
- Yeah. I know.
428
00:24:42,285 --> 00:24:44,285
I'm actually into
some of this stuff too, you know.
429
00:24:44,365 --> 00:24:47,005
- It is good to look outside your bubble.
- Yeah, I guess it is.
430
00:24:47,085 --> 00:24:49,181
- It's all thanks to you, man.
- You know what, Jackson?
431
00:24:49,205 --> 00:24:50,125
- I...
- Ah, that's her!
432
00:24:50,205 --> 00:24:51,541
- I didn't...
- Gotta go. Thank you.
433
00:24:51,565 --> 00:24:52,405
- Wait.
- Yeah?
434
00:24:52,485 --> 00:24:54,045
Okay.
435
00:24:54,485 --> 00:24:56,485
Yo!
436
00:25:08,845 --> 00:25:09,845
It's for you.
437
00:25:10,845 --> 00:25:12,805
It's soup, for a sick person.
438
00:25:12,885 --> 00:25:15,005
Oh, no! Oh, you shouldn't have done that.
439
00:25:15,085 --> 00:25:18,245
I'm feeling so much better today.
Just a scratchy throat.
440
00:25:18,325 --> 00:25:21,005
Still, uh... eat the soup.
It's good for you.
441
00:25:22,125 --> 00:25:24,045
No one's ever made me soup before.
442
00:25:24,125 --> 00:25:25,165
It's just soup.
443
00:25:27,685 --> 00:25:29,205
Okay, back to work, then.
444
00:25:29,965 --> 00:25:30,965
Excuse me.
445
00:25:32,525 --> 00:25:33,565
Excuse me.
446
00:25:54,525 --> 00:25:55,605
Mm!
447
00:26:35,885 --> 00:26:37,405
Why don't you just go out with him?
448
00:26:38,445 --> 00:26:40,085
Let's do a mind map.
449
00:26:40,445 --> 00:26:42,405
- What's that?
- Oh, it's just writing stuff down.
450
00:26:42,445 --> 00:26:45,165
But in a fun way that engages
all sides of your brain.
451
00:26:45,525 --> 00:26:46,725
You mean both sides.
452
00:26:46,965 --> 00:26:47,885
Yeah, all of them.
453
00:26:47,965 --> 00:26:49,445
It's really good for hard decisions
454
00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:50,725
like, should I get a fringe,
455
00:26:50,805 --> 00:26:53,205
even though Mum says
it'll make my face look chubby?
456
00:26:53,285 --> 00:26:56,245
Or should I tell Mum I hate her
and run away from home?
457
00:26:56,365 --> 00:26:57,365
Hm?
458
00:26:57,965 --> 00:27:00,645
So, let's start with Jackson's nice bits.
459
00:27:01,205 --> 00:27:02,685
Okay. Um...
460
00:27:03,125 --> 00:27:04,485
He's good at sex.
461
00:27:05,045 --> 00:27:07,405
Like, properly good.
462
00:27:07,725 --> 00:27:08,805
Mm!
463
00:27:09,245 --> 00:27:11,925
- Uh, he's attractive.
- And he's popular.
464
00:27:12,245 --> 00:27:14,325
Mm-hm. And he's going places.
465
00:27:14,765 --> 00:27:16,365
Like, he's not a slacker.
466
00:27:16,605 --> 00:27:18,565
No, he's probably gonna be president
or something.
467
00:27:18,605 --> 00:27:21,205
We don't have presidents
in this country, Aimee.
468
00:27:24,045 --> 00:27:25,045
Okay, what else?
469
00:27:27,485 --> 00:27:29,085
Do you have things in common?
470
00:27:29,325 --> 00:27:30,445
Yeah, we do.
471
00:27:30,845 --> 00:27:31,965
- Weirdly.
- So...
472
00:27:32,805 --> 00:27:33,885
Cons?
473
00:27:34,965 --> 00:27:36,845
- I don't want a boyfriend.
- I don't get it.
474
00:27:37,805 --> 00:27:39,685
Having a boyfriend is the best thing.
475
00:27:39,925 --> 00:27:41,165
What’s so good about it?
476
00:27:44,325 --> 00:27:46,125
You always have someone to hang out with.
477
00:27:46,205 --> 00:27:49,845
And, like, last week, I got chased
by a fox, and Kyle threw a shoe at it.
478
00:27:51,165 --> 00:27:52,685
It was so romantic.
479
00:28:04,605 --> 00:28:07,605
This is good. It's really helpful,
being in the water, isn't it?
480
00:28:07,685 --> 00:28:11,565
It's freeing us up. We're really figuring
out how our bodies can intertwine.
481
00:28:11,645 --> 00:28:14,205
It’s working well for me.
Is it working for you?
482
00:28:14,965 --> 00:28:15,965
No.
483
00:28:21,405 --> 00:28:22,405
How's it going, guys?
484
00:28:23,365 --> 00:28:24,485
What are you doing?
485
00:28:24,565 --> 00:28:26,621
I don't want you to think
I engineered this situation
486
00:28:26,645 --> 00:28:27,925
for my own sexual gratification.
487
00:28:27,965 --> 00:28:29,325
That would be super creepy.
488
00:28:29,925 --> 00:28:31,085
Hence the backwards stance.
489
00:28:31,605 --> 00:28:34,045
This is even creepier.
Just turn around. Stop being creepy.
490
00:28:36,245 --> 00:28:40,645
Well, like I said before, I am
a sex and relationship therapist.
491
00:28:40,725 --> 00:28:43,245
You are a teenager with
an inflated sense of self-importance.
492
00:28:43,325 --> 00:28:44,645
Right. Well, I have a hunch
493
00:28:44,725 --> 00:28:48,165
that this is more to do with your
relationship than your physical intimacy.
494
00:28:48,605 --> 00:28:50,581
- How's your communication?
- We've known each other
495
00:28:50,605 --> 00:28:52,965
since primary school,
and we talk for hours.
496
00:28:53,445 --> 00:28:55,445
- It might help.
- Interesting.
497
00:28:55,805 --> 00:28:57,365
How long have you guys been together?
498
00:28:57,445 --> 00:28:58,445
About four months.
499
00:28:58,525 --> 00:29:01,605
We both came out around the same time
and it just happened.
500
00:29:01,685 --> 00:29:02,525
Interesting.
501
00:29:02,605 --> 00:29:04,365
I'm sure you find
lots of things interesting,
502
00:29:04,445 --> 00:29:06,645
but our problem is with the sex,
not the relationship.
503
00:29:06,725 --> 00:29:08,645
So we're just gonna
figure this out on our own.
504
00:29:09,565 --> 00:29:10,965
Uh...
505
00:29:11,045 --> 00:29:14,085
Well, come back when you're ready
to talk about your relationship.
506
00:29:15,205 --> 00:29:16,965
Good session, team. Great progress.
507
00:29:32,125 --> 00:29:33,485
How's it going with Jackson?
508
00:29:34,925 --> 00:29:36,325
- What do you mean?
- I mean...
509
00:29:37,125 --> 00:29:39,165
You guys seem to be spending
a lot of time together.
510
00:29:39,805 --> 00:29:40,965
What do you care?
511
00:29:41,645 --> 00:29:43,285
I was just asking. Sorry.
512
00:29:44,725 --> 00:29:47,445
He does seem keen for us
to hang out more, but...
513
00:29:48,925 --> 00:29:50,125
I don't really get it.
514
00:29:50,805 --> 00:29:52,165
Like, we have loads of sex.
515
00:29:52,885 --> 00:29:54,645
So why'd he wanna complicate things?
516
00:29:55,005 --> 00:29:58,205
It's stupid.
Anyway, I don't do boyfriends.
517
00:30:00,685 --> 00:30:01,685
Why not?
518
00:30:03,125 --> 00:30:06,925
You know in rom-coms, when the guy finally
realizes he’s in love with the girl,
519
00:30:07,005 --> 00:30:09,245
and he turns up
with a boom box outside her house,
520
00:30:09,325 --> 00:30:12,325
blasting her favorite song,
and everyone in the audience swoons?
521
00:30:13,085 --> 00:30:14,645
Yeah, that makes me sick.
522
00:30:17,045 --> 00:30:18,365
Okay, but seriously,
523
00:30:18,965 --> 00:30:20,325
what's wrong with boyfriends?
524
00:30:22,005 --> 00:30:23,925
It’s just someone else
to let you down, isn't it?
525
00:30:29,125 --> 00:30:30,325
You really think so?
526
00:30:36,765 --> 00:30:37,765
What the hell?
527
00:30:38,645 --> 00:30:39,725
What?
528
00:30:41,125 --> 00:30:42,125
Ah!
529
00:30:45,245 --> 00:30:46,525
Like that, do you?
530
00:30:47,925 --> 00:30:48,925
Don't fucking...
531
00:30:56,925 --> 00:30:59,525
So... why don't you wanna
go out with Jackson?
532
00:30:59,605 --> 00:31:01,405
- I mean, really.
- No.
533
00:31:01,485 --> 00:31:03,045
We don't do that therapy thing.
534
00:31:03,445 --> 00:31:04,965
Save that for the clientele.
535
00:31:08,645 --> 00:31:09,645
Fine.
536
00:31:10,365 --> 00:31:11,765
I'm me and he's him.
537
00:31:12,325 --> 00:31:13,325
Meaning?
538
00:31:13,405 --> 00:31:17,085
Come on, Otis, he's Jackson and I'm...
You know.
539
00:31:17,165 --> 00:31:18,245
Maeve.
540
00:31:18,325 --> 00:31:21,485
No, I'm a grotty, stinky cock-biter
who lives in a caravan.
541
00:31:21,565 --> 00:31:23,445
Come on! You're not. Look...
542
00:31:23,565 --> 00:31:24,805
You're not that stinky.
543
00:31:25,645 --> 00:31:27,685
Plus, I thought it was a scrote you bit?
544
00:31:28,085 --> 00:31:29,125
Dickhead!
545
00:31:29,205 --> 00:31:30,205
Oh!
546
00:31:36,925 --> 00:31:39,725
You look like the Cookie Monster.
547
00:31:40,925 --> 00:31:42,005
Wait...
548
00:31:43,685 --> 00:31:45,365
Ooh! Okay.
549
00:31:45,445 --> 00:31:47,645
Ow! Yeah, let's go.
550
00:31:48,365 --> 00:31:49,365
- Okay.
- Yeah.
551
00:31:51,085 --> 00:31:52,085
You coming?
552
00:31:52,605 --> 00:31:53,605
No.
553
00:31:53,845 --> 00:31:56,125
- What? You just said we better go.
- I'm staying here.
554
00:31:56,565 --> 00:31:57,565
Why?
555
00:31:58,125 --> 00:31:59,125
Um...
556
00:31:59,605 --> 00:32:00,805
Exercise.
557
00:32:01,365 --> 00:32:02,805
Yeah, but school is closing.
558
00:32:03,565 --> 00:32:04,565
Yeah, but...
559
00:32:05,765 --> 00:32:06,885
exercise.
560
00:32:07,805 --> 00:32:08,805
Okay.
561
00:32:16,365 --> 00:32:18,205
You're compellingly odd, Milburn.
562
00:32:23,445 --> 00:32:24,925
Fucking go away.
563
00:32:26,925 --> 00:32:29,805
Must have been
one hell of a blow job, Wiley.
564
00:32:37,085 --> 00:32:38,085
Otis.
565
00:32:38,565 --> 00:32:39,565
Uh...
566
00:32:43,445 --> 00:32:44,445
Promise not to laugh.
567
00:32:45,645 --> 00:32:48,565
I might have a mild to moderate crush
on Maeve.
568
00:32:48,645 --> 00:32:50,725
Yeah, no shit. What gave it away?
569
00:32:52,125 --> 00:32:53,125
She, uh...
570
00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:55,845
She touched my eyebrows
and now I have an erection.
571
00:33:01,725 --> 00:33:03,365
You said you wouldn't laugh.
572
00:33:03,445 --> 00:33:05,205
Ugh. It won't go away.
573
00:33:05,285 --> 00:33:06,285
It's been half an hour,
574
00:33:06,325 --> 00:33:07,925
and it's really cold.
575
00:33:08,485 --> 00:33:10,085
There's only one solution.
576
00:33:14,365 --> 00:33:15,565
Okay.
577
00:33:16,485 --> 00:33:17,725
It's just wanking.
578
00:33:21,765 --> 00:33:22,765
Oh, God.
579
00:33:49,125 --> 00:33:51,845
Ah, stop! Ah! No!
580
00:33:52,445 --> 00:33:55,965
AC/DC! AC/DC! Okay.
581
00:33:56,045 --> 00:33:58,445
Adam and the Ants,
Aerosmith, Alice in Chains.
582
00:33:58,725 --> 00:34:00,725
The Blues Brothers. Bowie, David.
583
00:34:00,805 --> 00:34:02,925
The Byrds. Okay.
584
00:34:04,805 --> 00:34:06,165
- Did you do it?
- No.
585
00:34:06,245 --> 00:34:08,565
I alphabetized my music collection
and it went away.
586
00:34:08,645 --> 00:34:09,885
It's okay, man.
587
00:34:09,965 --> 00:34:12,725
- Next time.
- We won't speak of this ever again, okay?
588
00:34:14,565 --> 00:34:15,565
Otis!
589
00:34:17,525 --> 00:34:18,525
You got a minute?
590
00:34:19,725 --> 00:34:20,725
Yeah.
591
00:34:23,885 --> 00:34:25,485
I know the drill.
592
00:34:26,085 --> 00:34:27,085
Bye, Jackson.
593
00:34:29,525 --> 00:34:32,205
So I'm gonna ask Maeve out,
properly this time.
594
00:34:33,245 --> 00:34:35,205
- How do you think I should do it?
- Jackson...
595
00:34:35,685 --> 00:34:37,845
you're a smart guy.
I'm sure you can figure it out.
596
00:34:37,925 --> 00:34:39,885
But I need your help.
Everything you said worked.
597
00:34:39,965 --> 00:34:42,725
- I don't want to screw this up.
- I'm all out of advice, sorry.
598
00:34:42,805 --> 00:34:45,965
Come on, man. Look, we talk, we laugh.
We have crazy good sex.
599
00:34:46,405 --> 00:34:47,805
Now I just wanna seal the deal.
600
00:34:49,725 --> 00:34:50,725
Well...
601
00:34:51,485 --> 00:34:52,885
what do you usually do?
602
00:34:53,965 --> 00:34:57,685
Well, usually I say, "Do you wanna
go out?" And then they say yes.
603
00:34:58,485 --> 00:34:59,485
It's that easy?
604
00:35:00,125 --> 00:35:01,965
Well, it's just not usually this hard.
605
00:35:02,045 --> 00:35:03,245
Okay, do you even like Maeve?
606
00:35:03,325 --> 00:35:05,205
Or have you just never
not got your way before?
607
00:35:05,285 --> 00:35:06,285
No, I like her.
608
00:35:06,805 --> 00:35:08,885
I wake up and I'm thinkin' about her.
609
00:35:08,965 --> 00:35:10,605
I go to sleep and I'm thinkin' about her.
610
00:35:10,645 --> 00:35:11,805
It's driving me insane.
611
00:35:12,925 --> 00:35:14,485
I think she could be the...
612
00:35:15,405 --> 00:35:16,405
the one.
613
00:35:17,605 --> 00:35:19,205
Wait, sorry.
614
00:35:19,285 --> 00:35:21,325
Sorry. You're right.
I'll figure this out on my own.
615
00:35:21,365 --> 00:35:23,365
- You've helped out enough.
- Yeah.
616
00:35:24,445 --> 00:35:27,765
You know, it's weird.
You're my age, but wise.
617
00:35:28,725 --> 00:35:29,725
You're like my mum...
618
00:35:30,165 --> 00:35:31,365
in a little man’s body.
619
00:35:32,245 --> 00:35:33,645
Like a little mum man.
620
00:35:33,725 --> 00:35:34,725
No offense.
621
00:35:39,845 --> 00:35:41,125
Make a grand gesture.
622
00:35:42,845 --> 00:35:44,245
What, like flowers?
623
00:35:44,885 --> 00:35:45,885
Grander.
624
00:35:46,525 --> 00:35:47,805
Like a giant teddy bear?
625
00:35:48,005 --> 00:35:49,005
Much grander.
626
00:35:49,045 --> 00:35:51,485
Think, like...
like rom-com grand, you know?
627
00:35:51,565 --> 00:35:53,165
Public, passionate.
628
00:35:53,685 --> 00:35:55,605
Heart on your sleeve,
running through the rain...
629
00:35:56,085 --> 00:35:57,805
If it seems too much, go bigger.
630
00:35:58,325 --> 00:35:59,605
- If you want her...
- Yeah.
631
00:35:59,965 --> 00:36:00,965
...show her how much.
632
00:36:01,685 --> 00:36:02,685
Trust me.
633
00:36:03,445 --> 00:36:04,605
All right. Thanks, man.
634
00:36:05,965 --> 00:36:07,445
You really are a good guy.
635
00:36:15,285 --> 00:36:18,165
You are stone cold evil.
636
00:36:18,245 --> 00:36:20,205
Look, you told me to screw over Jackson.
637
00:36:20,285 --> 00:36:21,645
All right? This was your idea.
638
00:36:21,725 --> 00:36:23,965
I say lots of stuff.
You're not supposed to listen to me.
639
00:36:24,645 --> 00:36:27,165
- This is bad. You're a bad person.
- Stop saying that.
640
00:36:27,245 --> 00:36:28,605
Why are you now suddenly bad?
641
00:36:28,685 --> 00:36:31,685
Because I'm in love with Maeve, all right?
There, I admit it. Are you happy?
642
00:36:31,765 --> 00:36:34,445
Well, not really.
I think I prefer Cupcake Otis.
643
00:36:34,565 --> 00:36:35,725
I need to stop Jackson.
644
00:36:35,805 --> 00:36:37,885
Uh, then he'll know
that you're in love with Maeve.
645
00:36:37,965 --> 00:36:39,965
Then I need to warn Maeve
about what he's gonna do.
646
00:36:40,045 --> 00:36:43,045
Then she'll know that you took money
from Jackson and gave him bad advice
647
00:36:43,125 --> 00:36:46,045
- because you're in love with her.
- All my options are dog shit.
648
00:36:46,485 --> 00:36:47,485
Yep.
649
00:36:48,165 --> 00:36:49,165
I'm going home.
650
00:36:51,125 --> 00:36:52,125
Okay.
651
00:36:52,645 --> 00:36:54,925
Well, have a nice night, bad man.
652
00:36:57,605 --> 00:36:59,205
Thank you for all your work.
653
00:36:59,885 --> 00:37:01,525
And for the soup.
654
00:37:01,645 --> 00:37:03,205
It was very good.
655
00:37:03,645 --> 00:37:05,565
I, uh... washed it.
656
00:37:06,045 --> 00:37:08,005
I told you, it's the best soup.
657
00:37:12,725 --> 00:37:15,285
- Oh. It's okay.
- Clumsy man.
658
00:37:15,605 --> 00:37:16,605
I...
659
00:37:19,245 --> 00:37:20,245
Thank you.
660
00:37:27,045 --> 00:37:28,485
You are a strange woman.
661
00:37:34,765 --> 00:37:35,765
Goodbye, then.
662
00:37:36,165 --> 00:37:38,165
Just put those in there.
663
00:37:39,285 --> 00:37:41,165
Thank you. Goodbye, Jean.
664
00:37:43,085 --> 00:37:44,405
Bye, Mr. Builder.
665
00:37:56,165 --> 00:37:58,045
- Hello.
- Uh...
666
00:37:58,805 --> 00:37:59,965
Finish your research?
667
00:38:00,925 --> 00:38:03,085
My... Yes.
668
00:38:03,165 --> 00:38:04,645
Oh, my God. Yes, I did.
669
00:38:04,725 --> 00:38:07,285
It was actual research, by the way.
670
00:38:07,365 --> 00:38:08,885
It's... It's hard to explain.
671
00:38:08,965 --> 00:38:11,045
But, um, I needed
to know about scissoring.
672
00:38:12,045 --> 00:38:14,165
Okay. I'm Ola.
673
00:38:15,085 --> 00:38:16,165
I'm Otis.
674
00:38:16,245 --> 00:38:18,445
I got something for you.
To help with your research.
675
00:38:18,525 --> 00:38:19,645
My dad installed it.
676
00:38:23,205 --> 00:38:25,085
You know we’re already recording it.
677
00:38:25,165 --> 00:38:27,045
Come on, let's get the fuck out of here.
678
00:38:27,485 --> 00:38:28,885
- Hey.
- See ya.
679
00:38:29,365 --> 00:38:30,405
See ya.
680
00:39:23,645 --> 00:39:24,901
Eric!
681
00:39:28,485 --> 00:39:31,845
Eric!
682
00:39:41,605 --> 00:39:43,205
Dad, I think I know who...
683
00:39:43,285 --> 00:39:46,725
Go get hot water and bleach.
I don't want your mother seeing this.
684
00:40:04,885 --> 00:40:06,685
- Who are you pervin' on?
- Aah!
685
00:40:07,645 --> 00:40:09,285
No one.
686
00:40:09,845 --> 00:40:11,325
Well, um...
687
00:40:11,805 --> 00:40:14,125
Ruthie, but I'm not perving,
I'm just watching.
688
00:40:15,005 --> 00:40:16,005
Never mind.
689
00:40:16,805 --> 00:40:18,365
Shame the scissoring thing didn't work.
690
00:40:19,125 --> 00:40:20,645
I'm so skint right now.
691
00:40:24,765 --> 00:40:25,765
Uh...
692
00:40:27,725 --> 00:40:30,445
- What's that?
- It's your cut. I treated someone.
693
00:40:33,245 --> 00:40:34,565
You're a fucking gem, Otis.
694
00:40:44,805 --> 00:40:45,885
Tromboner.
695
00:40:47,005 --> 00:40:48,045
Hey, Adam.
696
00:40:48,765 --> 00:40:49,885
Did you find Madam?
697
00:40:51,925 --> 00:40:53,045
Can you smell...
698
00:40:54,445 --> 00:40:55,445
dog shit?
699
00:40:58,205 --> 00:40:59,965
Wiley, can I speak to you for a second?
700
00:41:01,405 --> 00:41:03,285
No chemically induced hard-on today?
701
00:41:03,405 --> 00:41:05,845
You're so funny,
you make my dick hurt. Listen...
702
00:41:05,925 --> 00:41:08,605
Uh, that essay thing Sands
was banging on about. Write it for me.
703
00:41:08,685 --> 00:41:11,165
- I can pay.
- The hand-in's tomorrow. Sorry.
704
00:41:11,245 --> 00:41:12,685
Shit, I really need this.
705
00:41:14,125 --> 00:41:15,165
Come on, I can pay double.
706
00:41:18,125 --> 00:41:19,125
Triple.
707
00:41:21,125 --> 00:41:22,125
Okay.
708
00:41:22,725 --> 00:41:23,725
Great.
709
00:41:26,725 --> 00:41:30,725
What did you buy
from the supermarket today?
710
00:41:31,805 --> 00:41:33,925
Only you could make French unsexy.
711
00:41:36,725 --> 00:41:39,845
You do not want to kiss
your girlfriend anymore.
712
00:41:40,725 --> 00:41:41,765
Hm?
713
00:41:42,405 --> 00:41:45,885
You like someone else.
714
00:41:48,645 --> 00:41:50,325
Look, Tanya is my best friend.
715
00:41:51,525 --> 00:41:54,405
She was really supportive of me
when I came out and everything.
716
00:41:56,125 --> 00:42:00,005
- So when she came out too, I thought...
- You might as well be in a relationship.
717
00:42:00,085 --> 00:42:03,165
We're so close, I thought it would be
the perfect relationship,
718
00:42:03,605 --> 00:42:05,685
but when we have sex...
719
00:42:06,525 --> 00:42:07,965
it just feels wrong.
720
00:42:08,605 --> 00:42:10,165
And when I'm doing it with Jessa...
721
00:42:12,205 --> 00:42:13,445
everything just works.
722
00:42:17,005 --> 00:42:18,085
I don't know what to do.
723
00:42:20,685 --> 00:42:22,565
You have to tell Tanya the truth.
724
00:42:23,605 --> 00:42:24,805
It would kill her.
725
00:42:27,765 --> 00:42:30,045
You can't choose who you're attracted to.
726
00:42:31,805 --> 00:42:32,805
You can't...
727
00:42:33,125 --> 00:42:34,925
You can't engineer a relationship.
728
00:42:38,365 --> 00:42:39,805
You have to do what's right.
729
00:42:41,725 --> 00:42:44,485
I still think it’s weird
a teenage boy is a sex therapist.
730
00:42:44,805 --> 00:42:46,245
C'est la vie.
731
00:42:47,245 --> 00:42:49,805
This is an urgent announcement
from your Head Boy.
732
00:42:50,325 --> 00:42:54,005
Will all sixth formers please head
to the canteen now?
733
00:43:07,765 --> 00:43:09,925
Has anyone seen Jackson?
734
00:43:10,005 --> 00:43:11,765
Uh... Maybe it’s a fire drill?
735
00:43:14,325 --> 00:43:16,485
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
736
00:43:16,565 --> 00:43:18,205
- Maeve!
- Look. He's gonna make a speech.
737
00:43:18,285 --> 00:43:20,365
Yes, Moordale!
Sorry for the interruption,
738
00:43:20,445 --> 00:43:22,325
but, hey, it's just your education, right?
739
00:43:24,045 --> 00:43:26,261
There's somebody in this crowd
who is very special to me.
740
00:43:26,285 --> 00:43:27,965
And no, it's not you, Mr. Groff.
741
00:43:30,445 --> 00:43:31,965
This person is pretty damn incredible.
742
00:43:33,205 --> 00:43:34,445
She's one of a kind.
743
00:43:35,205 --> 00:43:37,365
But I was an idiot
because I wanted to hide how I felt.
744
00:43:38,285 --> 00:43:40,965
Well, I'm not gonna
keep it secret anymore.
745
00:43:41,485 --> 00:43:42,525
Maeve Wiley...
746
00:43:44,005 --> 00:43:46,485
this is for you.
747
00:43:48,725 --> 00:43:49,765
I think he's gonna...
748
00:43:49,845 --> 00:43:52,405
...sing.
749
00:43:52,485 --> 00:43:54,605
No. No! No, no, no, no, no!
750
00:44:28,805 --> 00:44:31,685
I'm in Swing Band.
Why didn't they ask me to play?
751
00:44:57,045 --> 00:44:59,485
Will you please be my girlfriend?
752
00:45:01,085 --> 00:45:02,085
You dickhead.
753
00:45:20,725 --> 00:45:22,245
Well, that was unexpected.
753
00:45:23,305 --> 00:45:29,553
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