1 00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:05,088 . 2 00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:05,797 - OK, Saint Patrick is up. 3 00:00:07,882 --> 00:00:10,176 Let our annual official celebration begin. 4 00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:11,803 All hail everything Irish. 5 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,681 [cheers and applause] 6 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,891 - Grandpa, is it true that Saint Patrick's Day 7 00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:19,185 is a legal holiday in Boston because Irish people 8 00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:21,229 are all alcoholics and the government 9 00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,480 doesn't want kids walking home from school 10 00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,190 through rivers of Irish puke? 11 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,485 - 100%. 12 00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:31,114 - * It's true * 13 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:35,452 * The marriage that we once had now is through * 14 00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:39,456 * And now we're doing all that we can do * 15 00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:43,877 * To keep us all together as a crew * 16 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:47,714 * Just do as we say, not as we do * 17 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:51,885 * We really thought that we were done * 18 00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:54,596 * But we've just begun * 19 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,516 - Listen, Jimmy, you are an Irish American. 20 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,727 That means uninformed people are gonna say untrue things 21 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,395 about your heritage all your life, 22 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,314 especially on Saint Patrick's Day. 23 00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:06,232 They're gonna say your people are drunks. 24 00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:08,151 - Pug-faced potato eaters. 25 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:10,612 - Humorless, uptight Catholic girls. 26 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:15,241 - Leprechauns who hoard yellow moons, blue diamonds, 27 00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:16,534 and green clovers. 28 00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:17,911 Mouth-breathing knuckle draggers 29 00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:19,245 looking for a fight. 30 00:01:19,287 --> 00:01:21,790 Your job-- - Is to punch them in the face. 31 00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:23,249 - No. 32 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:24,376 I want you both to always remember 33 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:25,877 that you come from a great people. 34 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,546 And for the record, March 17th, Saint Patrick's Day, 35 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:31,216 it marks an event called Evacuation Day. 36 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,426 - Where Bostonians celebrate Saint Patrick 37 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,178 by evacuating their stomachs? 38 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:36,971 - No, it's the day that British forces 39 00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:38,139 retreated from Boston, 40 00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:39,724 giving George Washington his first victory 41 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:40,975 of the Revolutionary War. 42 00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:42,394 - Why did they retreat? 43 00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:43,812 Because of all the puke? 44 00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:46,773 - There was no puke. 45 00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:47,899 The British were beaten. 46 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,317 - Until they puked? 47 00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:52,195 - Hey, y'all. 48 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,446 - Hey, Trey. - Hey, Trey. 49 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,657 - Jimmy Jr. forgot his backpack in the car. 50 00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,033 - When he was little, Mom and Dad 51 00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:58,326 used to leave him in the car. 52 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:03,123 - Hey, who's the "Lord of the Rings" fan? 53 00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:04,416 I love me some Gandalf. 54 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:07,794 - That's who he reminds me of. 55 00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:10,422 - Thank you, Trey, for reducing 56 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:13,425 Ireland's beloved Saint Patrick to a senile warlock. 57 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:16,261 - Dad loves Saint Patrick's Day. 58 00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:18,263 - I love Saint Patrick's Day too. 59 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:19,389 The Celtics have always had 60 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:20,682 a Saint Patrick's Day fundraiser, 61 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,350 and this year, for the first time, 62 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:23,476 I get to host it. 63 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:25,812 We got A-listers, big-money donors. 64 00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:28,189 We're blowing it out for the Higgins Hospital for Children. 65 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:29,816 This year, I'm telling you right now, 66 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:32,402 the Celtics are gonna own Saint Patty's Day. 67 00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:33,486 - Saint Patrick's Day. 68 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:34,696 - That's what I meant. 69 00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,823 - You said Patty, P-A-T-T-Y, 70 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,908 which is a nickname for Patricia. 71 00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:41,453 However, Paddy, P-A-D-D-Y, 72 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,538 is a nickname for Pádraig, or Patrick. 73 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,582 - Well, what's the difference? 74 00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:48,877 What's the difference between the letter T and the letter D? 75 00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:50,420 You dell me, Drey Daylor. 76 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,340 - Douché. 77 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,801 - OK, I stand corrected. 78 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,095 Saint Paddy's Day. 79 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:00,764 But look, we're gonna have top-notch 80 00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:03,016 Irish-themed entertainment and catering. 81 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:06,978 - Is there such a thing as top-notch Irish catering? 82 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:10,607 - I've never even come across mid-notch Irish catering. 83 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:13,902 - Well, we're gonna have shamrocks and green balloons 84 00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:16,321 and gift bags with bottles of Jameson 85 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,822 and Irish Spring soap. 86 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:20,116 We're gonna have family-sized boxes 87 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,409 of Lucky Charms. 88 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:23,661 We're gonna get paddy wagon photo booths 89 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,538 so everyone can have their own mug shots 90 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,248 like Irishmen of yore. 91 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:29,709 And check this out. 92 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,044 We hired a local band who released a track 93 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:34,381 that a chatbot wrote after scouring the internet 94 00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:36,049 for the answer to the prompt, 95 00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:37,884 what does it mean to be Irish? 96 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,010 Take a listen. 97 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,388 [bright music playing] 98 00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:43,264 * Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey * 99 00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:45,558 * Oh, too-ra-loo-ra-lay * 100 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,061 * It's how we end the evening * 101 00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,813 * And how we start the day * 102 00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:52,524 * Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey * 103 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,734 * Oh, too-ra-loo-ra-li * 104 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:56,820 * We can't live without it * 105 00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:59,656 * So we'll drink until we die * 106 00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:01,408 - I think I've heard enough. 107 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:08,873 . 108 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:09,541 - * Fighting, fighting * 109 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,419 * Oh, too-ra-loo-ra-loo * 110 00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,629 * If you had your Irish up * 111 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:17,257 * You'd be throwing punches too * 112 00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:19,426 * Talking, talking, talking * 113 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,678 * Oh, too-ra-loo-ra-lee * 114 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,596 * We can talk your ear off * 115 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:26,474 * So come have a drink with me * 116 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,601 * Drink and fight and talk all night * 117 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,895 * And dum-dum, diddle-diddle-dee * 118 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,273 * Have another swig and do an Irish jig * 119 00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:35,775 * Get your Irish up like me * 120 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,736 [laughs] See? 121 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:40,822 Perfectly beautiful Irish song. 122 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,365 - I'm gonna get a phone call. 123 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,700 - You're not gonna get a phone call. 124 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,952 - So I imagine you were surprised to get my call. 125 00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:48,455 - Jim, if this is about 126 00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:49,873 the "Whiskey, Whiskey, Whiskey" song-- 127 00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:51,458 - A song that should be entitled 128 00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:54,002 "Reductive Stereotype in the Key of C." 129 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:56,421 You got Gandalf and the cereal leprechaun 130 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,464 and the paddy wagon. 131 00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:58,590 The only thing you left out 132 00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,966 was "Danny Boy." - I love "Danny Boy." 133 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,801 - Written by a butter-loving Englishman 134 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,803 about an Irish father who will never see his son again, 135 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,055 probably because of the English. 136 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,893 - Jim, I understand how you feel. 137 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:13,146 As an Italian-American, I used to be proud of Columbus Day. 138 00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:15,899 - Right, but if it is ever revealed that, like Columbus, 139 00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:18,318 Saint Patrick went to foreign lands to terrorize the locals, 140 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,904 then I will stop honoring him. 141 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:23,114 - The point, I think, is that there are 142 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,491 knowledge gaps on all sides. 143 00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:25,658 - Right, But you never hear 144 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,660 about the Irish understanding gap. 145 00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:30,330 They're always, you know, doing shots and hurling insults 146 00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:31,915 and rolling in clichés. 147 00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:33,375 - Including lots of Irish people. 148 00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:34,959 I mean, look at this place. 149 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,337 - OK, my dad may not be as sensitive 150 00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:38,630 to this issue as I am. 151 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,006 - Green beer coming through. 152 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,675 Faith and begorrah. 153 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,886 - But because he's Irish, that's OK. 154 00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,763 I mean, if he was hosting the Celtics gala 155 00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:48,682 on Saint Patrick's Day, he could stand up and yell, 156 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,434 "Welcome, ya Guinness-swilling, short-tempered 157 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:54,354 peat-moss burners," and no one would care. 158 00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:55,897 But he's not hosting. You are. 159 00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,318 - I think Jim may be actually trying to help you. 160 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,820 - No. 161 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,029 - No. 162 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,698 - I mean, you skipped your pickleball game 163 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,032 to have this conversation. 164 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,325 - I did. - Mm-hmm. 165 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,369 - And I love pickleball. - You do. 166 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:10,537 - I mean, you could be competent 167 00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,539 the very first time you play. 168 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,165 I did skip it to be here. 169 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,208 - Like a friend would. 170 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,710 - Oh, my God. 171 00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:17,836 I think she's right. 172 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,045 - Mm-mm. 173 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,881 - Is it possible that we might be becoming... 174 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,633 friends? 175 00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:26,177 - I mean, it doesn't feel like friendship. 176 00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,931 But it does have the markers of it. 177 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,725 I mean, here I am, sitting here, 178 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,269 listening to you for the first time 179 00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:37,063 like your opinion matters. 180 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,400 - This is a big moment. 181 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:42,777 - OK, OK, so I have a new friend, 182 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,195 but I still got a problem. 183 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,739 The gala is six days away, 184 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,449 and I see that it's full of land mines. 185 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:48,867 And I might not be the right person 186 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:50,160 to know how to defuse them. 187 00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:52,287 - Well, what if we built on this new friendship 188 00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:53,663 and Jim brought his wealth 189 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,582 of cultural and historical knowledge 190 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:58,209 to help keep you land mine-free? 191 00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,669 - You'd do that, Jim? 192 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,048 - Interesting idea. 193 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,799 Don't just criticize. 194 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,926 Pitch in. 195 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,553 I don't know that I've ever tried that. 196 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:09,929 - I've never seen you do it. 197 00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:12,349 - OK, I got to admit that I was triggered 198 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,933 by most of your party plans. 199 00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:15,685 But maybe that's the problem with this world. 200 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,103 - So you'll help, Jim? 201 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,105 - On one condition. 202 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:21,483 I want to be named 203 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,610 special envoy to the Boston Celtics. 204 00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:25,195 - Special what? - Envoy. 205 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:26,821 It's like an ambassador. - No, I know what it is. 206 00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:28,198 I just couldn't believe that you said it. 207 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:30,033 - I don't want to be just a consultant. 208 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:31,826 I mean, the world is lousy with consultants. 209 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,578 Grant me that dignity, please? 210 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,788 - Special envoy it is. 211 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,831 - I want in on a business card. 212 00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:38,667 - No one uses business cards anymore. 213 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,001 - So it shouldn't be a problem. 214 00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,920 "Special Envoy Jim Kearney" on a business card. 215 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,922 - OK, if his name on a piece of paper is what gets his help, 216 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,715 then deal. - Cardstock, the good stuff. 217 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,092 - Welcome aboard, 218 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,302 Special Envoy Jim Kearney, friend. 219 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:50,470 - Ah. 220 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:53,139 Thank you very much, friend Trey. 221 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,933 Whoa, whoa. 222 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,059 Oh, my God. 223 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,315 Did we just come up with our own special handshake? 224 00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:03,817 - I think we just did, friend. 225 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:11,741 . 226 00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:12,242 [bright music] 227 00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,454 [elevator bell dings] 228 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,790 - It's a simple idea, really, 229 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,960 and one that every special envoy holds dear-- 230 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,295 the truth. 231 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,716 In this case, the unadorned truth of the Irish experience. 232 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:30,010 And what cuts more cleanly to the heart 233 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,595 and, since this is for charity, to the pocketbook 234 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:33,847 than honesty? 235 00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:35,849 Nothing, folks. Nothing. 236 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,560 - Well, Mr. Taylor told us to do 237 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,395 whatever Special Envoy Kearney said. 238 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:41,938 - Good. And what's the budget? 239 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:44,566 - $500,000. 240 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:47,027 - That'll work. 241 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:52,824 * * 242 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,951 - [sighs] - Ugh, I know. 243 00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:56,661 That happens to me in elevators too. 244 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,621 - No, that's not what I mean. 245 00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,331 I just realized I gave Jim Kearney 246 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,875 $1/2 million to do this thing, 247 00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:04,878 and I have no idea what he did. 248 00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,171 Decided not to micromanage, 249 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,381 and that might have been a macro mistake. 250 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,883 [elevator bell dings] 251 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:12,635 - [gasps] Oh, my God, honey. 252 00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:13,636 This place looks amazing. 253 00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:16,014 - I knew he'd nail it. 254 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,432 My friend Jim. 255 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:18,725 - Oh, dia dhuit,my friends. 256 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,226 - Dia dhuit,Mr. Kearney. 257 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,519 - Dia-- - Dhuit. 258 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,729 It's hello in Irish. 259 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:24,981 - You know Irish? - Just dia dhuit. 260 00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,525 - Irish, the national language of Ireland 261 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,737 until England started killing everyone who spoke it. 262 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,197 - Jim, you look so great. 263 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,656 - Oh. - Yes. 264 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:35,200 And thank you so much for helping me out with this, man. 265 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,660 I needed someone to have my back, and you had it. 266 00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:38,745 I appreciate you. 267 00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:39,829 - Helping you restage this gala 268 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,164 has been a gift for me. 269 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,583 And it has been staggering to discover 270 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,293 not only how many people want to help share 271 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,670 in the Irish celebration 272 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:50,173 but also just how much money can buy. 273 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,926 I mean, you know, now I know why you guys are so happy. 274 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:55,470 Whenever a problem comes up, you just chuck money at it. 275 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,430 Then the problem goes away. 276 00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:58,723 - Dude, I know. 277 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,016 [chortles] 278 00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,685 - Well, listen, I got to set some levels 279 00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:02,894 with the tech director. 280 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,188 Oh, oh, and thank you for the suit. 281 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:07,899 - Apparently I bought him a suit. 282 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,609 - And he looks great. - [chuckles] 283 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,945 - Let's go work the room, shall we? 284 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,822 - Can you do me a favor and tell me everybody's name twice, 285 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,323 just in case I don't remember? 286 00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,117 - Copy that. Ah. 287 00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,118 Lana Telsup. 288 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,911 - Uh, Telsuit? 289 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,746 Telsup with a P, Harvard professor, 290 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,623 one of the only ones who still has her job. 291 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:25,750 Best-selling book, "Women Empowered." 292 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,544 - Tell me that again. - "Women Empowered." 293 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:28,712 - No, not the book's name, her name. 294 00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,088 - Lana Telsup. 295 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,340 - One more time. - Lana--she's too close now. 296 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:33,800 Lana, Julia Mariano. 297 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,468 And this is Trey Taylor. 298 00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:36,803 - Of course. Good evening. 299 00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,388 - Oh, thank you for your support. 300 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,265 - I just loved your book, "Women Empowered." 301 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,600 As a woman, I felt so empowered, Lana Telsup. 302 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,436 - [chuckles] 303 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,478 - I felt empowered too. 304 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:46,730 [chuckles] Even as a man. 305 00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,023 - It's not for men. 306 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,983 Forget everything you read. 307 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:52,485 - [sucks teeth] Hmm. 308 00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,070 - Oh, Lana, dia dhuit. 309 00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:55,864 Loved your book. Felt very empowered. 310 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,283 - Not for men. 311 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,243 - Danny Walsh is here. Danny Walsh. 312 00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:01,494 - Danny Walsh? I know Danny Walsh. 313 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,413 - Trey! - Danny! Hey! 314 00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:05,206 - Hey, love the thatched-roof cottage. 315 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:06,458 So Irish. 316 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,169 All we need now is some rain, huh? [laughs] 317 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,463 - You remember Julia. - Oh, you look fantastic. 318 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,714 - Oh, hello. Good to see you. 319 00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:13,923 - Splendid. - [laughs] 320 00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,967 - Now, I'm gonna need you bidding big 321 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,302 in that live auction, D-Dub. 322 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,554 - All about the kids. [laughter] 323 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:20,805 I didn't come here to save money. 324 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:23,808 [laughter] 325 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,560 - I'll see you later. I'll see you later. 326 00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:28,021 Hoo-hoo! Danny Walsh is on the hook. 327 00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:30,148 - Mm. Jim, you really classed this whole place up. 328 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,524 They are gonna give till it hurts. 329 00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:32,692 - "For the kids" on three. 330 00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:34,736 all: One, two, for the kids! 331 00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:36,154 - I thought you said on three. 332 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,989 - Well, yeah, it's 1, 2, and then you replace 333 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,699 the three with "for the kids." 334 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:41,076 - Should we try again? - Yeah. 335 00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:43,036 - No. 336 00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,579 - All right, well, I'll see you after the presentation. 337 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,497 - Yep. Love you, bud. 338 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,706 - Love you too. 339 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,796 - Did Jim and I just say we loved each other? 340 00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,464 - Well, you said love you while walking away, 341 00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,257 which is still saying more than see you, 342 00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:57,467 but it's not I love you. 343 00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:59,469 - Huh. - Watch this. 344 00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,137 I love you. 345 00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:04,307 - I see the difference. [laughter] 346 00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:05,975 - Thanks for making him special envoy. 347 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,436 - I needed him as much as he needed me. 348 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:10,355 You and me right now, "For the kids" on two. Ready? 349 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:11,189 both: One. 350 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,941 - Two. - For the kids. 351 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,275 - See, it just doesn't make sense. 352 00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:15,652 - Yeah. 353 00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:17,195 [upbeat music] 354 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:20,490 . 355 00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:21,116 [cheers and applause] 356 00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,828 - Can we all make some noise for our special guest? 357 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:29,332 Boston Celtics legend Paul "The Truth" Pierce. 358 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,584 [cheers and applause] 359 00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:33,712 [laughs] 360 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,798 My man. - Yeah. Yeah. 361 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,719 And at this point, I'm gonna introduce you 362 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,847 to our master of ceremony of this evening, Mr. Jim-- 363 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,890 - Special envoy. 364 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,268 - I'm sorry, what? - Special envoy. 365 00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,353 - Got it. - Mm. 366 00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,731 - I'd like to introduce you to the master of ceremony 367 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,525 this evening, my friend 368 00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:58,945 and Special Envoy Jim Kearney. 369 00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:02,699 [cheers and applause] 370 00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:05,368 - Thanks, Trey. 371 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:09,914 I know I speak for the entire Boston Celtics organization 372 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,542 when I say that there is no holiday that is 373 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:15,628 more important to us than Saint Patrick's Day. 374 00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,213 Why? 375 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:19,883 Because Irish spirit is on our uniform. 376 00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,843 It runs in our hallways. 377 00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:25,847 It is in the very panels of the parquet floor at TD Garden. 378 00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,932 But a lot of people don the Celtic green 379 00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:30,810 without knowing what it really represents: 380 00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:33,438 the spirit of Ireland. 381 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,441 [applause] 382 00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:41,446 If you'll allow me, I'd like to show you what I mean. 383 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,366 There are virtual reality headsets on your tables. 384 00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:46,910 If you would please put them on. 385 00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:49,037 Then we'll begin. 386 00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:57,337 Behold the rolling green hills of the Emerald Isle... 387 00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:58,505 crowd: Ooh! 388 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:02,258 - Beckoning you with lush tranquility. 389 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:05,845 Here is the true spirit of Ireland. 390 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,597 - Look at the details. 391 00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:09,641 It's so lush, so green. 392 00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,017 - Oh, it's so beautiful. 393 00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:13,770 It's like it's all fairway. 394 00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:16,272 - Now see the stunning Cliffs of Moher. 395 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:17,649 So breathtaking. 396 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,859 Inhale the brisk, misty air. 397 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:24,072 Walk to the edge and peer over below. 398 00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:26,491 - That's a long way down. - Oh, whoa! 399 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,243 It's so real. Oh! 400 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,453 - Now let's walk across the River Liffey 401 00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:33,873 and through the famous archway of Trinity College Dublin. 402 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:37,210 Hey, Hall-of-Famer Paul Pierce, better watch your head. 403 00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:40,380 - I'm tall but not that tall. 404 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,132 - Now flip through the Book of Kells. 405 00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:43,967 Marvel in the detail. 406 00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:46,011 And it's only a few steps over to the lively pubs 407 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:48,013 of Dublin's Temple Bar neighborhood, 408 00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:50,265 bustling with music and cheer. 409 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,475 See Ireland in all its glory, 410 00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:55,145 from the Ring of Kerry to the Bay of Galway 411 00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:57,647 to Blackrock Castle outside colorful Cork. 412 00:14:57,689 --> 00:15:00,066 - OK, man, now, that's cool. 413 00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:02,861 - We're flying now. 414 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,487 - Oh, my God, we're flying. 415 00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:05,488 [laughs] 416 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:06,531 - But wait. 417 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,783 What is that black smoke? 418 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,326 What's going on? 419 00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:13,997 It's 1649, and the marauders have landed. 420 00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,457 And they want to kill you 421 00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:17,042 because you answer to the pope. 422 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,710 - [screams] 423 00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:20,211 - Look behind you. 424 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,339 It's a family of nine, very weak and gaunt, 425 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,090 and they're holding something. 426 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:25,800 A blighted potato. 427 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,385 No nutritional value. 428 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,179 It takes more calories to digest it 429 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,847 than it adds to your strength. 430 00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:32,349 Do the arithmetic. 431 00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,184 But you can't do the arithmetic because the English 432 00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,061 have burned your school to the ground 433 00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,687 and dismembered your teachers, 434 00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,856 your friends, your family. [blade shinging] 435 00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:41,816 Your entire country is starving. 436 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,444 It's 1847, and the famine is here. 437 00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:46,071 [bell tolling] - Oh-ho, this is intense. 438 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:49,240 - Let's go back to Temple Bar and tie one on. 439 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,159 - Now you're in the brig "Saint John," 440 00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:52,786 an overcrowded immigrant ship 441 00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:54,662 teeming with cholera and death. 442 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:58,083 Fleeing the famine, the brig will crash upon the rocks 443 00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,376 just off the shore of Massachusetts 444 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:03,046 before it arrives, killing 145 souls on board. 445 00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:05,173 But here you are, swimming in the frigid water 446 00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:06,383 among the corpses. 447 00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,218 - Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. 448 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:10,011 - Oh, my God, I need a Xanax. 449 00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:11,304 - Sharks! 450 00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:13,264 - [screams] - Swim! 451 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,850 - Then climbing ashore, surviving the wreck. 452 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,394 But your life in America will not be 453 00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:19,979 the paradise you'd hoped, because-- 454 00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:20,980 what's that smell? 455 00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:22,065 That's smoke. 456 00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:23,233 More flames. 457 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:25,110 You're an Irish immigrant in America, 458 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:28,238 and your textile mill is on fire. 459 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,990 You run for the windows to try to find escape, 460 00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,992 but they're nailed shut. 461 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,494 You try to find something to break it, 462 00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:35,578 but there's nothing. 463 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,247 Use your fists. Use your fists. 464 00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:39,416 Use your head. Use your friend's head. 465 00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:41,126 Break it. Break it. Break it. 466 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,086 - Get us out of here! 467 00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:44,713 - I want to live! [glass shatters] 468 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:47,632 - You try to climb through the shards of glass, 469 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:48,800 and people push you. 470 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:50,385 - Get off of me! 471 00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:53,096 - You can feel your skin being sliced apart 472 00:16:53,138 --> 00:16:54,848 while people are bleeding on you. 473 00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:57,267 - Oh, it's so real. - It's terrible. 474 00:16:57,308 --> 00:16:59,728 - This is the worst gala I've ever been to. 475 00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,063 - Feel that? 476 00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:03,690 It's no longer the mist. 477 00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:05,608 It's tears. 478 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,068 Irish tears. 479 00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:08,903 [people crying] 480 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,071 - Oh! 481 00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:12,032 I don't want to be Irish anymore. 482 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,199 - Me neither. 483 00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,701 - Man, I'm out of here. 484 00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,286 - Wait, what? 485 00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:19,497 - The Red Sox would never do something like this. 486 00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:25,587 - Don't beat yourself up, son. 487 00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:26,963 You did your best. 488 00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:29,632 It's not your fault your best wasn't good enough. 489 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,968 - It's absolutely my fault. How is this not my fault? 490 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,386 - I'm trying to cheer you up. 491 00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:35,013 It's not my fault I failed. 492 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,434 - I failed the Celtics, the charity, 493 00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:42,729 the kids, Paul Pierce, Julia, 494 00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,147 and Irish people everywhere. 495 00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,441 Oh, and I failed my new friend Trey. 496 00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:47,984 - Trey? 497 00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:50,653 You met a new guy named Trey and you made friends with him? 498 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:52,197 - No, no, our Trey. 499 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,032 Our relationship had kind of turned a corner. 500 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:55,492 We even had our own handshake. 501 00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:57,994 But now we'll be back to a perfunctory chin nod. 502 00:17:58,036 --> 00:17:59,579 - Well, let me get you a beer. 503 00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:02,332 In the tradition of our people, you can drown your sorrows. 504 00:18:02,374 --> 00:18:04,250 - Not helping. - Not hurting. 505 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:06,378 - Hey, Jim, Jim. - Mm. 506 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:07,754 Trey, Trey, before you say anything-- 507 00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:09,172 - No, I need to say-- I need to say something. 508 00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:10,674 - No, I need to go first. - No, let me go first. 509 00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,008 - No, I'm so sorry about tonight. 510 00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:13,343 I thought I was doing a good job. 511 00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:15,011 I thought I was being thorough and trenchant, 512 00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:16,638 but I totally went overboard 513 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,014 and slaughtered the golden geese. 514 00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:19,057 - Can I talk now? 515 00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:20,350 - Please do. I'm out of words. 516 00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:22,102 - OK, all week long, you pounded me 517 00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:23,603 about what the Irish have been through. 518 00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:25,438 - I know, and I'm so sorry. And just let me say that I-- 519 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,273 - You said you were out of words. 520 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,527 - It was a temporary condition. 521 00:18:32,404 --> 00:18:33,988 - I thought I understood. 522 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,783 I didn't, until I saw your VR thing. 523 00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,326 And it moved me. 524 00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:39,953 It also moved Danny Walsh. 525 00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,079 - Danny Walsh was last seen 526 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,873 dry-heaving at the valet stand. 527 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:45,166 - Danny Walsh recovered. 528 00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:47,127 - [gasps] 529 00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:48,962 - Special Envoy Kearney. 530 00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:50,296 - Yes? 531 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,965 - I wanted to come by myself to tell you 532 00:18:52,007 --> 00:18:53,341 how the rest of my night went. 533 00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:56,511 Well, first I puked my guts out. 534 00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,221 But any Irishman will tell you, 535 00:18:58,263 --> 00:18:59,681 that's a good way to clear your mind. 536 00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:05,228 Then I had my driver drive me to Mount Auburn Cemetery, 537 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:07,480 where my Nana Méabh is buried. 538 00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:09,065 She and my grandfather emigrated 539 00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:12,235 from Dublin in August 1922. 540 00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:13,737 I went to her grave, and I-- 541 00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:16,281 I poured a fifth of Jameson over it. 542 00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,491 I keep a couple bottles in the trunk. 543 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,245 I said, Nana, please forgive me. 544 00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:24,080 I've taken you for granted. 545 00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:25,623 I mean, your heroic struggles. 546 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:29,252 And I now understand that if it wasn't for you and Grandpa, 547 00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:30,795 I wouldn't be here, you know, 548 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,673 raiding companies and laying off thousands, 549 00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:34,674 crushing their families. 550 00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,217 But that's not important right now. 551 00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:38,261 - Mm. 552 00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:40,347 - And then I realized, maybe there's some kids 553 00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:43,266 in Higgins Hospital that should get a chance 554 00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:45,852 to be a hedge fund monster themselves, right? 555 00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:47,979 - [chuckles] 556 00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,689 - So you know what this is? 557 00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:51,691 - A restraining order from Paul Pierce? 558 00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:54,402 - No, it's a check for $4 million. 559 00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:58,239 - 4 mi-- did you say mi-- 560 00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,658 - Yeah, he said mi. 561 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,119 It's the most money the gala's ever raised. 562 00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:05,288 - So the presentation worked? 563 00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:07,290 - It worked, Special Envoy Jim. 564 00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:08,833 - I don't know what to say. 565 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:11,419 - Say it's the luck of the Irish. 566 00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:17,092 - Pretty sure you shouldn't say that. 567 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:19,302 - And you really were a special envoy. 568 00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:21,471 - Well, thank you. 569 00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:22,639 Trey? - Hmm? 570 00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:24,182 - You take this. You're used to it. 571 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:26,976 I can feel my fingers melting. 572 00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:28,144 - Jim, you got a business card? 573 00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:30,355 - As a matter of fact... 574 00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:32,982 - Nice cardstock. 575 00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:34,234 - Mm. 576 00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:36,152 - Let's get this place hammered. 577 00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:37,529 Hey, barkeep! 578 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:39,447 Rest of the night, the drinks are on me. 579 00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:42,992 [cheers and applause] 580 00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,327 - Wow. 581 00:20:44,369 --> 00:20:46,621 - I mean, that was a win, a win-win, a win-win-win. 582 00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:48,331 - Hey, "Win-win-win" on three? 583 00:20:48,373 --> 00:20:50,834 - Oh, yeah! - Nope, never again. 584 00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:54,087 - Ladies and gentlemen, the Shot Glass Sullivans. 585 00:20:54,129 --> 00:20:56,506 - * Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey * 586 00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:58,842 - No, I had nothing to do with this. 587 00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,511 - I tracked the band down. I love these guys. 588 00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:04,139 They may not look Irish, but they are. 589 00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:05,682 - * Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey * 590 00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:07,600 * Oh, too-ra-loo-ra-li * - Come on, sing along. 591 00:21:07,642 --> 00:21:09,477 - You know you want to. 592 00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:13,523 - * Without it, so we'll drink until we die * 593 00:21:13,565 --> 00:21:16,067 * Paddy, Paddy, Paddy * 594 00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:18,528 * Did someone call my name * 595 00:21:18,570 --> 00:21:20,363 * Get on the paddy wagon * 596 00:21:20,405 --> 00:21:23,241 * It's our only claim to fame * 597 00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:25,326 * Fighting, fighting, fighting * 598 00:21:25,368 --> 00:21:27,829 * Oh, too-ra-loo-ra-loo *