1 00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:12,711 ♪ Love ♪ 2 00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:18,561 ♪ Exciting and new ♪ 3 00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:20,519 ♪ Come aboard ♪ 4 00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:26,370 ♪ We're expecting you ♪ 5 00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:28,927 ♪ And love ♪ 6 00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:34,611 ♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪ 7 00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:36,568 ♪ Let it flow ♪ 8 00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:42,785 ♪ It floats back to you ♪ 9 00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:46,189 ♪ The Love Boat ♪ 10 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:51,161 ♪ Soon will be making Another run ♪ 11 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:54,431 ♪ The Love Boat ♪ 12 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:58,801 ♪ Promises something For everyone ♪ 13 00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:01,138 ♪ Set a course for adventure ♪ 14 00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:05,397 ♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪ 15 00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:10,680 ♪ And love ♪ 16 00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:13,705 ♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪ 17 00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:18,755 ♪ It's an open smile ♪ 18 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:23,160 ♪ On a friendly shore ♪ 19 00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:27,664 ♪ It's love ♪ 20 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:33,358 ♪ Welcome aboard It's love ♪ 21 00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:07,503 Good afternoon. Welcome aboard our Valentine's cruise. 22 00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:09,773 Miss McCoy. Mr. Smith. 23 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,274 Captain Stubing. 24 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:14,744 Good afternoon, sir. You seem very chipper this afternoon. 25 00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,413 Well, I always enjoy our Valentine's Day singles cruise. 26 00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:18,681 Ah. Ah, yes. 27 00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:20,617 It's nice to see singles who want to be couples 28 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,986 instead of couples who want to be single, for a change. 29 00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:25,121 And I have the perfect way to pair them off. 30 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,057 I've hired a matchmaker. 31 00:02:27,081 --> 00:02:28,258 Well, how quaint. 32 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:30,393 Do we all sing "Hello, Dolly!" when she comes aboard? 33 00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,029 No, sir. This is a computer. 34 00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:34,664 The passengers fill out cards, 35 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,666 and then a man feeds them into the computer, 36 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:41,438 and bingo: boy meets Valentine cruise girl of his dreams. 37 00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:43,940 Ingenious. I thought so. 38 00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:45,542 Do you have a card for me? 39 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,777 Well, sir, it's just a novelty icebreaker. 40 00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,847 You certainly don't need a computer to get a date. 41 00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,648 Heh. Of course not. 42 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:55,619 I just think that a captain should set an example. 43 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,720 You know, uh, get into the swing of things. 44 00:02:57,744 --> 00:02:59,555 Mm-hm. Yes, sir. I'll put your name on the list. 45 00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,591 Oh, that's Stubing. S-T-U-B-I-N... 46 00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,959 Mm. Right, sir. I vaguely remember. 47 00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:09,132 Isn't this exciting? They've got all kinds of activities. 48 00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:14,070 Oh, yes, I see many activities I could be interested in. 49 00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,138 Oh, hello. 50 00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:16,906 Are you the ship's photographer? 51 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:19,308 Oh, no, no. I'm here for the same thing you are. 52 00:03:19,332 --> 00:03:21,010 The activities? You got it. 53 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,747 Heh. Uh, I'm Betsy Carruthers. Oh, Heather McKenzie. 54 00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,715 Penny Jacobs. Hello. 55 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,483 Well, they've got lots of interesting things 56 00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:29,152 lined up for us, huh? 57 00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:34,112 Ooh, they certainly have. 58 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:38,628 Oh, my dear, will you look at that one? 59 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,129 Hey, Chet. What's goin' on? 60 00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:41,231 How are you? Meet Sam. 61 00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:42,565 Hey, Sam. SAM: Hi, how are you? 62 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:44,501 I see he brought his cameras. 63 00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:47,170 Well, I just happen to take a few pictures myself. 64 00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:51,074 Ah, so then you're very at home in the dark room. 65 00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,031 Heh. 66 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:57,781 Uh, hi. 67 00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,783 I'm Adam Bricker. May I have this dance? 68 00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:01,718 Heh. What dance? 69 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,053 Well, you know how these single cruises are. 70 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,423 I just wanted to get my bid in first. 71 00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,358 I'm flattered, but the truth is, 72 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:09,959 I didn't know this was a singles cruise. 73 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,662 I just came for the sea air and a chance to relax. 74 00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:15,386 At least, uh, can I help you to your cabin? 75 00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:17,233 Alex. 76 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,491 Adam. Adam Bricker. 77 00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,160 Alex. 78 00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:26,231 I'm sorry. You must have the wrong person. 79 00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:32,048 How about the 50-cent tour? 80 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:36,052 That man, he looks exactly like someone I once knew. 81 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,154 Well, there's lots of look-alikes in the world. 82 00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:40,757 I've often been told I look like, uh, Clint Eastwood. 83 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,325 Heh. 84 00:04:42,349 --> 00:04:44,394 Burt Reynolds? 85 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,883 Woody Allen? 86 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:47,787 Oh. 87 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,667 Well, they said that they'd switch, 88 00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:53,169 so why don't you just go ahead and do it? 89 00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:56,272 I think it would be fine, okay? 90 00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:07,550 Uh, heh, I'm sorry, my French is lousy. 91 00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:09,808 Uh, j-just a minute please? 92 00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:11,921 Excuse me, Gopher? 93 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,226 Mm? Could you help, please? 94 00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:16,059 Just a moment. 95 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,494 Uh, how's your French? I beg your pardon? 96 00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:19,729 French. 97 00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:22,565 Mm. Ah. 98 00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:25,168 "We are Brigitte LaBlanc. 99 00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:28,604 "And, uh, Yvonne Boulanger. 100 00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:30,606 "We do not speak English. Would it be possible 101 00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:32,741 to obtain a French-speaking interpreter?" 102 00:05:32,765 --> 00:05:34,144 Well, I'll just handle this. 103 00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:35,644 I'm practically bilingual. 104 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:40,216 Really? Sure. Uh... 105 00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:43,386 What does that mean? 106 00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,021 It means my aunt's pen is on the dresser. 107 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,991 Oh, thanks. That's a great conversation starter. 108 00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,437 To service, uh... 109 00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:20,890 What did they say? 110 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,324 I have no idea, 111 00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:23,726 but it's gonna be fun finding out. 112 00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:28,731 Straight through. 113 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:29,987 Uh-huh. 114 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:33,958 Excuse me. 115 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,105 Hello. 116 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,140 Hello, doll face. 117 00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:40,743 Uh, the name's Julie McCoy. You must be Nick Heider. 118 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:41,911 Mm-hm. How do you do? 119 00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,379 And that must be our computer. 120 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:47,317 Uh, sir, that is no mere computer. 121 00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:49,552 With that computer, I've paired off more couples 122 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,387 than Noah and his ark. 123 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,456 And who knows? You might be next. 124 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,090 Hey. Heh. 125 00:06:55,114 --> 00:06:57,026 Mr. Heider, I just arrange these activities. 126 00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,495 I don't participate in them. 127 00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:00,162 Oh, sweetheart, trust me. 128 00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:03,521 Your deepest romantic needs will be fulfilled by this machine. 129 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,402 Matter of fact, you might even become 130 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,591 computerman's valentine. 131 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,429 Mwah. 132 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,377 Oh. 133 00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:16,112 Didn't I tell you you were gonna meet him? 134 00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:19,716 Well, maybe he thinks he's "him," 135 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:23,074 but to me, he is ho-hum. 136 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,525 And here we are, ladies. 137 00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:03,826 Voilà. 138 00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:07,196 Oh, merci. 139 00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:09,999 Merci beaucoup. 140 00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:16,338 Um, yes, so, uh, bon voyage. 141 00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,710 Brigitte, uh... Oui? 142 00:08:21,734 --> 00:08:22,946 Later? 143 00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:25,548 Pardon? 144 00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:31,620 Oui? Oui. 145 00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:35,858 Moonlight? 146 00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:39,495 Um... 147 00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:42,553 Um, so hasta la vista. 148 00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:46,469 Au revoir. 149 00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:51,574 Oui. Maybe tonight? 150 00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:53,643 Yeah. 151 00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,037 Merci. 152 00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:05,688 Yvonne, 153 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,023 I don't know if I can pull this off. 154 00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:10,493 He's so cute, I almost started speaking English. 155 00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:13,963 Listen, Brigitte, we're not going for cute. 156 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:15,653 We're after gorgeous. 157 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,067 Well, okay, 158 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:19,969 but do we have to change nationalities? 159 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,571 American is ordinary. 160 00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,105 There's a certain mystique 161 00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:25,307 about French girls that drives men crazy. 162 00:09:25,331 --> 00:09:27,509 Believe me, I've tried it and it works. 163 00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:29,145 Well, I told you about Harry, 164 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:31,814 the stockbroker I met on last year's cruise. 165 00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:34,116 His name was Ben, 166 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:36,152 and it only lasted three weeks. 167 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,641 True. 168 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,791 But diamonds are forever, 169 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:44,561 and that's what speaking French gets you. 170 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:48,731 Yvonne, for a rock like that, you'd speak Swahili. 171 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,432 True. 172 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,312 There you are. Mm-hm. 173 00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:03,746 Thank you. There you are. 174 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,381 Now, just check off the characteristics 175 00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:06,749 that describe you best 176 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,751 and be careful not to crumple the card. 177 00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:11,620 Heh. Unless I want to end up with someone who's folded, 178 00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:13,711 bent, spindled and mutilated. 179 00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:15,658 Okay. 180 00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:18,027 Do you ever play the computer game? 181 00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,261 Oh, I don't think so. 182 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:22,231 Me neither. I don't need a machine to get women. 183 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:25,300 I need a machine to fight them off. 184 00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:26,469 I believe you. 185 00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:28,771 You do? 186 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:31,462 Did I ever tell you about this swampland that I have for sale? 187 00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,047 I get it. 188 00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,581 You're trying to figure out how to ask me 189 00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:42,318 to have a mad, passionate affair with you. 190 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,146 Well, I'm not always right. 191 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,560 Doc, 192 00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:53,484 you see the guy in the blue shirt over there? 193 00:10:57,556 --> 00:10:59,257 Aren't they the same man? 194 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:10,012 Well, there's a strong resemblance. 195 00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:11,013 Good-looking guy. 196 00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:14,150 Good-looking, bright, talented. 197 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,118 We were a team at an ad agency. 198 00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:18,754 I wrote the lyrics, Alex wrote the music. 199 00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:20,778 You remember the Cupid Cologne jingle? 200 00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:26,261 ♪ Maker her your own With Cupid Cologne ♪ 201 00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:27,263 Sure. 202 00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:28,731 We wrote that. 203 00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:31,300 We made Cupid the best-selling cologne in the country. 204 00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:34,203 Millions bought it, thinking they'd get instant sex appeal. 205 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,438 I know. 206 00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:37,973 Smell me. 207 00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:39,875 Doc, we were the best. We had plans. 208 00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:43,079 We were gonna be married. Open our own agency. 209 00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:46,181 Then one day, five years ago, 210 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,217 Alex disappeared. 211 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:49,618 I had police and private detectives 212 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,720 on the case for months. 213 00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:53,864 When they didn't find him, I assumed... 214 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:55,647 The worst. 215 00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:57,881 Yeah. 216 00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,500 Doc, that's him. 217 00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,090 I'd know him anywhere. 218 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:08,393 Alex. 219 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:10,439 Hm? 220 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,497 It's me. Lilly. 221 00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:18,647 Well, it's nice to meet you, Lilly, 222 00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:21,940 but my name is still Ted, Ted Wilcox. 223 00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:25,788 You look exactly like someone. 224 00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:27,190 Alex Fowler. 225 00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:30,114 Well, Lilly, if he doesn't show up, it's his loss. 226 00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,195 As a matter of fact, I hope he doesn't. 227 00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:35,259 Then maybe we can have dinner together. 228 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,267 Um, yes, I'd like that. 229 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,924 Okay. See you then. 230 00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:47,576 Well, they say we all have a twin somewhere. 231 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,646 That's him. That's Alex. 232 00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:52,781 Come on. He said his name's Ted. 233 00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:55,051 Doc, I loved that man for four years. 234 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:57,308 My heart knows it's Alex. 235 00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,359 Excuse me, is this a 272 mini-scan? 236 00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,561 Well, with some modifications of my own. 237 00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:06,695 Are you into computers? 238 00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,397 Uh, I do geophysical research. 239 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,732 Uh, I use computers to analyze old fossils. 240 00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:12,969 Yeah, but how does it work on young chicks? 241 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:15,037 Ah, all right. That's what we're here for. 242 00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:17,095 There you go. Thank you. 243 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,743 Miss McCoy. 244 00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:21,810 Uh, yes, sir? 245 00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:23,312 Uh, would you describe me 246 00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:27,483 as "commanding" or "officious"? 247 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,753 Um... Miss McCoy. 248 00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:33,021 Uh, sir, you're neither. 249 00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:36,425 You're, um, "statesmanlike." 250 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:37,582 Ah. 251 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,696 So are you. 252 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:41,764 Thank you, sir. 253 00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:42,788 Oh. 254 00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:45,735 "Statesmanlike." 255 00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:48,926 Ah. Well, Mr. Heider, are you just about ready? 256 00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:52,041 It... It's Nick to you, Julie. 257 00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:54,465 Let's just stick to business, okay? 258 00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:57,579 Anything you say, doll face. 259 00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:59,548 Uh, may I have your attention, please? 260 00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:01,183 Would everyone just gather around here. 261 00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:02,618 We're about ready to roll. 262 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,386 Over here, by the computer. Come on. 263 00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:06,588 Oh, thank you, captain. Yeah. 264 00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:09,625 Now, let's make onesomes into twosomes, 265 00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:12,495 singles into doubles, shipmates into cabin-mates. 266 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,196 Good idea. 267 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:16,698 Let's have a happy Valentine cruise. 268 00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:17,733 Here we go. 269 00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:20,891 The first couple is... 270 00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:27,279 Heather McKenzie... 271 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:30,589 and... 272 00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,617 Daryl Matson. 273 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:37,141 Hey, hey! 274 00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:41,357 What science has brought together, 275 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,248 let no man put asunder. 276 00:14:45,484 --> 00:14:46,462 Hi, gorgeous. 277 00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,297 Uh, excuse me, uh, one second. 278 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:50,733 Actually, you're supposed to end up with me 279 00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,768 because, uh, I lent her my card. 280 00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:59,408 The second couple is... 281 00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:06,285 Betsy Carruthers... and... 282 00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:09,618 Chet Maxwell. 283 00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,989 He's the one I wanted. 284 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:14,457 Oh, lied again, huh? 285 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:17,648 No, I can't understand it. This time I told the truth. 286 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,509 Huh? 287 00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:36,267 Oh... Oh, a light. Yeah, sure. 288 00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:39,982 Merci. 289 00:15:40,006 --> 00:15:41,484 You're French, right? 290 00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:47,122 I'm crazy about French girls. 291 00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:48,757 Yeah, crazy. 292 00:15:50,216 --> 00:15:52,116 Penny Jacobs... 293 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,600 and... 294 00:15:58,224 --> 00:15:59,635 Sam Worth. 295 00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,403 Whoo! 296 00:16:01,427 --> 00:16:04,828 Honey, this is your lucky day. 297 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,015 Ah, bonjour. 298 00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:14,984 Uh, parlez-vous français? 299 00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:16,185 Gopher. 300 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:17,774 Uh, excuse me. 301 00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,723 Need help? Heh. I'm your homme. 302 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:32,101 Uh, she wants to know what Seymour's profession is. 303 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,203 Tell her what do you do for a living. 304 00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:38,340 I'm a commodity trader. Pork bellies, mainly. 305 00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:42,678 Tycoon. 306 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,146 Tycoon. 307 00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:48,417 Uh, t-tell her, Yvonne, 308 00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:51,976 that I own a yacht that is almost this size. 309 00:16:58,418 --> 00:16:59,862 Oh, gee. 310 00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:00,862 Yacht. 311 00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:02,231 Oui. You're right. 312 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:05,701 And the French word for yacht is... yacht. 313 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,708 Oh. Ooh, la, la. 314 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,946 Yvonne? Yvonne? 315 00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:20,983 You know your friend, votre amie, Brigitte? 316 00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:31,682 Sure do. Yeah. 317 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:40,390 Hello, hello, hello. 318 00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:45,507 Julie McCoy... Wait a minute. 319 00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:46,697 And... 320 00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:51,380 Nick Heider. 321 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,350 Well, that about wraps it up, gang. 322 00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:58,220 That's why you're a terrific cruise director, Miss McCoy. 323 00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,689 You join in. I did not join in, sir. 324 00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:03,192 And I'd like to get my hands on whoever filled out a card 325 00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:04,493 with my name on it. 326 00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,163 Uh, you forgot me. 327 00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:09,932 Oh, Captain Stubing, I'm sorry. 328 00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,956 Oh, I... I've got your card right here. 329 00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:23,895 Captain Stubing... and... And... 330 00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:34,912 Sorry, captain. 331 00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,393 Oh. 332 00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:41,563 Well, they said it was lonely at the top, 333 00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:43,732 but this is ridiculous. 334 00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:04,053 Ah, Brigitte. 335 00:19:04,077 --> 00:19:05,187 Oh, Gopher. 336 00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:06,688 I've been looking everywhere for you. 337 00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:13,095 I mean, uh... Gopher! GOPHER: Well... 338 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:16,131 Just the guy we need. 339 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,534 Ask Brigitte... Yeah? 340 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:21,369 If she'd like to have dinner with my friend Walt here. 341 00:19:21,393 --> 00:19:22,993 Uh, that's me. 342 00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,764 Uh, Brigitte, um... 343 00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:33,282 Yeah. 344 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,705 Y-yeah. 345 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:38,341 Good. 346 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,872 She says she's sorry, but she's all booked up. 347 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,127 Pourquois pas means that? 348 00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:46,896 Well, French is a very concise language. 349 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,698 She also said that your friend has exceptionally large ears, 350 00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:50,866 uh, feet like an elephant, 351 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:53,391 and a nose that reminds her of a banana. 352 00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,271 Uh, I-I don't take very kindly to that. 353 00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:58,073 Not very kindly. 354 00:19:58,097 --> 00:20:00,275 No... Uh, no, Walt... Walt... Wait! 355 00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:02,011 So your feet look like an elephant's, 356 00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,712 but she was talking about my nose! 357 00:20:04,736 --> 00:20:07,750 Yvonne, your friend sure has a way with words. 358 00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:08,774 Ooh! 359 00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:15,758 Must have been something you said. 360 00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:17,025 Brigitte. 361 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,049 Oui? 362 00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:23,531 Pourquois pas. 363 00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:26,656 Someday I'm gonna have to find out what that means. 364 00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,780 Doc, it's weird. 365 00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:40,115 He invited me to dinner, 366 00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:42,451 but he still kept acting as if he doesn't know me. 367 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:45,120 How about this? He doesn't know you and he isn't Alex. 368 00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:47,122 But he is. I'm positive. 369 00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:50,326 He's wearing a ring I gave him, the same as mine. 370 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,328 Coincidence. 371 00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,596 Doc, these were handmade. 372 00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,532 Alex and I designed them. 373 00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:58,934 There aren't two other rings like this in the whole world. 374 00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:02,493 Well, what if he is your Alex, only he doesn't know it? 375 00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:05,440 Amnesia? 376 00:21:05,464 --> 00:21:07,509 Could be. 377 00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:08,710 Oh. 378 00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:11,179 I asked him about his past, 379 00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:12,747 and nothing matched. 380 00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:15,217 He said he's spent his entire life in California. 381 00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:16,851 Hmm. I know that he grew up 382 00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:18,520 in Connecticut and went to Yale. 383 00:21:18,544 --> 00:21:21,924 Well, in certain amnesia cases, people make up a past 384 00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,558 and believe it to be true. 385 00:21:23,582 --> 00:21:26,628 They'll take on a whole new identity. 386 00:21:26,652 --> 00:21:28,463 He was a hotshot on Madison Avenue. 387 00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:30,232 Now he's some kind of guitar maker. 388 00:21:30,256 --> 00:21:32,556 Hm. Is he happy? 389 00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:34,679 I don't know. 390 00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:37,773 How do I get him back to reality? 391 00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:39,808 Well, amnesia's nothing to fool around with. 392 00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:41,143 You need a specialist. 393 00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:44,413 But while you're here, you could try to gently remind him 394 00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:45,714 of your life together. 395 00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:48,783 I'd do anything to get Alex back. 396 00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:50,586 I'll remind him of our rings. 397 00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:52,743 I'll remind him of the jingles we used to write. 398 00:21:53,779 --> 00:21:55,757 And if that doesn't work, 399 00:21:55,781 --> 00:21:57,492 I'll take him down to the cabin and remind him 400 00:21:57,516 --> 00:21:59,161 of the thing we used to do most. 401 00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:03,253 Backgammon. 402 00:22:04,523 --> 00:22:06,435 We played backgammon a lot. 403 00:22:06,459 --> 00:22:07,459 Hmm. 404 00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:09,738 Honest. 405 00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:11,273 I believe you. 406 00:22:11,297 --> 00:22:12,741 You do? 407 00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:15,205 Did I ever tell you about the swampland I have for sale? 408 00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,133 You're a beautiful man. 409 00:22:38,157 --> 00:22:40,135 You're a beautiful woman. 410 00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:42,070 You're more beautiful than I am. 411 00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:44,273 You're beautifully honest. 412 00:22:44,297 --> 00:22:45,707 Congratulations, Julie. 413 00:22:45,731 --> 00:22:49,778 Your electronic icebreaker seems to be working for everybody. 414 00:22:49,802 --> 00:22:52,113 With one small exception. 415 00:22:52,137 --> 00:22:53,348 Yeah. 416 00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:55,117 Me. 417 00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:56,740 I was talking about me. 418 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,437 I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding, Walt. 419 00:23:15,461 --> 00:23:18,173 I bet Brigitte would love to dance with you. 420 00:23:18,197 --> 00:23:19,742 What size bet did you have in mind? 421 00:23:19,766 --> 00:23:21,565 Come on. Let's ask her. 422 00:23:23,269 --> 00:23:25,080 Yvonne, I hope your friend says yes. 423 00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:26,281 I promised Walt a good time. 424 00:23:26,305 --> 00:23:27,825 I've got a lot of money riding on this. 425 00:23:29,175 --> 00:23:31,708 Oh, you don't understand a word I'm saying. 426 00:23:34,613 --> 00:23:36,091 Gopher. GOPHER: Mm? 427 00:23:36,115 --> 00:23:39,061 My friend Walt wants to dance with Brigitte. 428 00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:40,796 Yeah. Ah. 429 00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:42,831 Um, yeah. 430 00:23:42,855 --> 00:23:47,479 Um, Brigitte, uh... Oui. 431 00:23:53,399 --> 00:23:55,310 Heh. Pourquois pas. 432 00:23:55,334 --> 00:23:57,346 Oh, yeah. Pourquois pas? 433 00:23:57,370 --> 00:23:59,114 Yeah. Oui. 434 00:23:59,138 --> 00:24:00,649 That's what she said last time. 435 00:24:00,673 --> 00:24:03,852 Again with the feet like an elephant and banana nose? 436 00:24:03,876 --> 00:24:05,620 Seymour! 437 00:24:05,644 --> 00:24:06,644 Wait a minute. 438 00:24:18,757 --> 00:24:20,135 Shall we? 439 00:24:20,159 --> 00:24:21,325 You bet. 440 00:24:23,763 --> 00:24:24,739 Isaac. 441 00:24:24,763 --> 00:24:26,408 What would you like? 442 00:24:26,432 --> 00:24:27,743 I think I'll have a cognac, 443 00:24:27,767 --> 00:24:29,644 and I guess you'll want one too. 444 00:24:29,668 --> 00:24:30,946 Ah, two cognacs, right? 445 00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:33,281 Uh, not for me. I'd like a beer. 446 00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:35,383 I've never acquired a taste for cognac. 447 00:24:35,407 --> 00:24:37,185 Oh, then I'll have a beer too. 448 00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:38,420 Two light, right? 449 00:24:38,444 --> 00:24:40,344 No, I always drink dark beer. 450 00:24:41,380 --> 00:24:43,024 Uh, make that two dark beers. 451 00:24:43,048 --> 00:24:44,293 Coming right up. 452 00:24:44,317 --> 00:24:47,395 You know, I just might try a cognac. 453 00:24:47,419 --> 00:24:49,765 I may get to like it. 454 00:24:49,789 --> 00:24:53,090 Ah, two cognacs. Right. 455 00:24:57,396 --> 00:24:59,374 That ring you're wearing, it's the same as mine. 456 00:24:59,398 --> 00:25:01,276 Really? 457 00:25:01,300 --> 00:25:02,866 Where'd you get it? 458 00:25:04,403 --> 00:25:05,880 I don't know. 459 00:25:05,904 --> 00:25:07,916 I've been wearing it as long as I can remember. 460 00:25:07,940 --> 00:25:10,619 Mine was made for me by a little jeweler 461 00:25:10,643 --> 00:25:12,187 on 48th Street in New York. 462 00:25:12,211 --> 00:25:13,777 I've never been to New York. 463 00:25:14,813 --> 00:25:16,213 A friend of mine designed it. 464 00:25:17,416 --> 00:25:19,616 Actually, he was more than just a friend. 465 00:25:20,786 --> 00:25:22,931 Well, I guess he must've designed two, then. 466 00:25:22,955 --> 00:25:24,388 Small world, isn't it? 467 00:25:25,757 --> 00:25:27,269 What do you do in New York? 468 00:25:27,293 --> 00:25:29,437 I write advertising jingles. No kidding? 469 00:25:29,461 --> 00:25:31,173 You might have heard some of them. 470 00:25:31,197 --> 00:25:34,565 Like the, uh, Cupid Cologne commercial. 471 00:25:36,235 --> 00:25:38,280 ♪ Make her your own ♪ 472 00:25:38,304 --> 00:25:40,715 ♪ With Cupid Cologne ♪ 473 00:25:40,739 --> 00:25:42,650 ♪ Reach out and grab it ♪ 474 00:25:42,674 --> 00:25:44,908 ♪ Let her know you have it ♪ 475 00:25:45,744 --> 00:25:47,222 What's the matter? 476 00:25:47,246 --> 00:25:50,725 I'm sorry. I-I don't mean to make fun of your jingle, 477 00:25:50,749 --> 00:25:52,669 but it is kind of inane, isn't it? 478 00:25:53,385 --> 00:25:55,297 That jingle sold a lot of cologne. 479 00:25:55,321 --> 00:25:56,664 "Reach out and grab it"? 480 00:25:56,688 --> 00:25:58,222 "Let her know you have it"? 481 00:26:00,293 --> 00:26:02,770 I guess it is kind of inane. 482 00:26:02,794 --> 00:26:04,794 There you go. Thanks, Isaac. 483 00:26:09,635 --> 00:26:12,169 Well, how do you like it? 484 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,673 Tastes like your Cupid Cologne. 485 00:26:30,155 --> 00:26:33,402 Julie, you have been ducking me all night. 486 00:26:33,426 --> 00:26:35,670 Mm-hm. I was hoping you'd get the message. 487 00:26:35,694 --> 00:26:36,805 I got the message. 488 00:26:36,829 --> 00:26:38,940 I got the message from my 272 mini-scan. 489 00:26:38,964 --> 00:26:40,208 You know what it says? 490 00:26:40,232 --> 00:26:43,144 It says that you and I are fated for each other. 491 00:26:43,168 --> 00:26:46,247 Well, I guess I'm just not ready to meet my fate yet. 492 00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:48,082 Oh, Julie, why fight it? 493 00:26:48,106 --> 00:26:51,152 It's Valentine's. Hearts, love and all that stuff. 494 00:26:51,176 --> 00:26:53,888 And besides, my printout says that you and I 495 00:26:53,912 --> 00:26:56,457 have the same interests, compatible temperaments 496 00:26:56,481 --> 00:27:00,161 and also long-range goals. 497 00:27:00,185 --> 00:27:03,264 Well, my printout says, "Bug off." 498 00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:04,398 I don't get it. 499 00:27:04,422 --> 00:27:05,667 Julie, Julie, 500 00:27:05,691 --> 00:27:07,769 logic says that you and I should be in love. 501 00:27:07,793 --> 00:27:10,305 What's logic got to do with love? 502 00:27:10,329 --> 00:27:13,241 Love is spontaneous, mysterious, 503 00:27:13,265 --> 00:27:15,143 wild, crazy. 504 00:27:15,167 --> 00:27:17,579 You know, you light up my life, 505 00:27:17,603 --> 00:27:20,649 climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest sea. 506 00:27:20,673 --> 00:27:22,350 Love is an emotion. 507 00:27:22,374 --> 00:27:25,753 Wrong. Love is based on facts. 508 00:27:25,777 --> 00:27:27,555 Like the fact that... 509 00:27:27,579 --> 00:27:29,491 The fact that I have a tremendous 510 00:27:29,515 --> 00:27:30,725 crush on your shoulders. 511 00:27:30,749 --> 00:27:32,493 Mm, mm. 512 00:27:32,517 --> 00:27:34,462 That's spontaneous. Oh, no, no. 513 00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:35,964 That happens to be the logical result 514 00:27:35,988 --> 00:27:38,533 of my predictable attraction to you. 515 00:27:38,557 --> 00:27:39,935 Oh, that's romantic. 516 00:27:39,959 --> 00:27:43,572 Julie. Julie, it's the romance of the future. 517 00:27:43,596 --> 00:27:45,373 It's geometry, it's mathematics. 518 00:27:45,397 --> 00:27:50,033 It's bull! It's... 519 00:27:54,239 --> 00:27:55,517 Come on in. 520 00:27:55,541 --> 00:27:57,418 I've been working on something I want you to hear. 521 00:27:57,442 --> 00:27:59,187 Oh, I'd like that. 522 00:27:59,211 --> 00:28:00,688 Well, I hope so. 523 00:28:00,712 --> 00:28:03,391 I'm gonna call it "Lilly's Song." 524 00:28:03,415 --> 00:28:05,015 I'm flattered. 525 00:28:24,103 --> 00:28:25,814 It's beautiful. 526 00:28:25,838 --> 00:28:27,749 But, Ted, 527 00:28:27,773 --> 00:28:30,306 that's the music to the Cupid Cologne jingle. 528 00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:33,076 You know, you're right. 529 00:28:34,146 --> 00:28:35,657 I thought I made it up. 530 00:28:35,681 --> 00:28:38,026 I'm sorry. Oh, don't stop. 531 00:28:38,050 --> 00:28:39,761 You play beautifully. 532 00:28:39,785 --> 00:28:41,463 Oh, some other time. 533 00:28:41,487 --> 00:28:43,197 I write a lot of tunes. 534 00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:44,699 It's lyrics I have trouble with. 535 00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:47,602 That's my specialty. 536 00:28:47,626 --> 00:28:49,304 Why don't we write something together? 537 00:28:49,328 --> 00:28:50,939 Yeah, I'd like that. 538 00:28:50,963 --> 00:28:53,275 I think I better warn you though I do most of my composing 539 00:28:53,299 --> 00:28:55,477 sitting on my porch in Sonoma County. 540 00:28:55,501 --> 00:28:57,667 Watching the Russian River go by. 541 00:28:59,438 --> 00:29:01,183 Is that an invitation? 542 00:29:01,207 --> 00:29:02,207 Sure is. 543 00:29:04,843 --> 00:29:07,155 Maybe I'll take you up on it. 544 00:29:07,179 --> 00:29:09,057 Of course, in a few days I think I'd miss 545 00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:10,759 the excitement of New York. 546 00:29:10,783 --> 00:29:12,694 Lilly, there's plenty of excitement 547 00:29:12,718 --> 00:29:15,038 outside of New York, you know. 548 00:29:16,655 --> 00:29:20,089 I mean, there's excitement right here in this room. 549 00:29:34,506 --> 00:29:36,773 Did that remind you of anything? 550 00:29:38,277 --> 00:29:40,755 What should it remind me of? 551 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:42,679 Ah, never mind. 552 00:29:56,295 --> 00:29:58,073 Brigitte? Oui? 553 00:29:58,097 --> 00:30:00,375 Uh, uh, people think, uh... 554 00:30:07,739 --> 00:30:09,484 Penny, that's... That's the wrong move. 555 00:30:09,508 --> 00:30:11,953 See, I move here and my queen mates, 556 00:30:11,977 --> 00:30:13,955 I move here and my knight mates, 557 00:30:13,979 --> 00:30:15,656 I move here and my rook mates. 558 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,492 That's what I love about chess. 559 00:30:17,516 --> 00:30:19,895 All this mating. 560 00:30:19,919 --> 00:30:21,629 Are you enjoying this as much as I am? 561 00:30:21,653 --> 00:30:23,820 Oh, yes, it's wonderful. 562 00:30:34,466 --> 00:30:37,300 Hey, Nick, here comes your intended. 563 00:30:38,603 --> 00:30:41,850 Yeah, with intent to kill. 564 00:30:41,874 --> 00:30:44,052 Nick, wait. What have I done now? 565 00:30:44,076 --> 00:30:46,187 Well, you haven't done anything. Heh. 566 00:30:46,211 --> 00:30:49,590 Except make a lot of people extremely happy. 567 00:30:49,614 --> 00:30:52,093 Look at 'em. They're having a ball. 568 00:30:52,117 --> 00:30:54,395 And it's all because of your computer. 569 00:30:54,419 --> 00:30:56,630 Just like I told you, it never fails. 570 00:30:56,654 --> 00:30:58,199 Except maybe for us. 571 00:30:58,223 --> 00:31:00,401 Nick. 572 00:31:00,425 --> 00:31:03,138 I'd like to apologize for last night. 573 00:31:03,162 --> 00:31:04,494 I was pretty rough. 574 00:31:06,398 --> 00:31:10,078 Well, maybe I came on kind of strong. 575 00:31:10,102 --> 00:31:13,648 Yeah, well, I didn't have to react so negatively. 576 00:31:13,672 --> 00:31:15,883 I shouldn't have pushed so hard. 577 00:31:15,907 --> 00:31:17,485 Yeah, well, I was a jerk. 578 00:31:17,509 --> 00:31:19,520 Nah. No, I was a jerk. 579 00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:20,922 No, I was a jerk. 580 00:31:20,946 --> 00:31:23,547 Okay, you were a jerk. Oh. 581 00:31:25,417 --> 00:31:28,362 Have dinner with me tonight? 582 00:31:28,386 --> 00:31:29,530 Sure. 583 00:31:29,554 --> 00:31:31,032 The chef's making veal parmesan. 584 00:31:31,056 --> 00:31:33,334 Veal p... I love it, it's my favorite. 585 00:31:33,358 --> 00:31:34,936 Oh, that's mine too. 586 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,405 There's another thing we have in common. Isn't that wonderful? 587 00:31:37,429 --> 00:31:39,207 Julie, Julie, the list is endless. 588 00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:40,909 That's why the machine put us together. 589 00:31:40,933 --> 00:31:43,177 Oh, well, I think it's terrific. It sure made people happy. 590 00:31:43,201 --> 00:31:45,413 Oh, Mr. Heider, uh, I was wondering if you're 591 00:31:45,437 --> 00:31:47,482 going to give your computer another shot. 592 00:31:47,506 --> 00:31:50,952 Well, uh, I-I didn't think I'd bother, captain. 593 00:31:50,976 --> 00:31:52,987 Things seem to be fine for everybody. 594 00:31:53,011 --> 00:31:55,156 Not everybody. 595 00:31:55,180 --> 00:31:57,058 So if you have 596 00:31:57,082 --> 00:31:58,526 another session, let me know. 597 00:31:58,550 --> 00:32:01,051 Uh, I've filled out another card. 598 00:32:04,656 --> 00:32:07,256 I left some blanks on the first one. 599 00:32:12,230 --> 00:32:14,364 Brigitte. Um... 600 00:32:22,207 --> 00:32:26,687 Oh, Brigitte, you're truly the most beautiful, uh, uh... 601 00:32:30,883 --> 00:32:32,293 Uh, the most wonderful... 602 00:32:37,923 --> 00:32:39,033 Ah. 603 00:32:39,057 --> 00:32:40,868 Oh, Brigitte. It's hopeless. 604 00:32:40,892 --> 00:32:42,103 I-I need my dictionary. 605 00:32:45,197 --> 00:32:46,441 I don't wanna bouge pas. 606 00:32:46,465 --> 00:32:47,564 But I gotta... 607 00:32:49,802 --> 00:32:52,580 Brigitte, stay here. 608 00:32:52,604 --> 00:32:56,339 Stay... 609 00:32:59,078 --> 00:33:00,388 Oui, Gopher. 610 00:33:00,412 --> 00:33:02,612 Gopher. Yvonne. 611 00:33:06,551 --> 00:33:08,863 Knock off the French, will you, Yvonne? It's me. 612 00:33:08,887 --> 00:33:11,466 Shh! Where were you? 613 00:33:11,490 --> 00:33:13,656 I was with Gopher. What do you think? 614 00:33:14,692 --> 00:33:16,438 It's getting to be impossible. 615 00:33:16,462 --> 00:33:20,274 His French is so bad I can't communicate with him. 616 00:33:20,298 --> 00:33:22,243 I'm going to tell him I speak English. 617 00:33:22,267 --> 00:33:25,479 You do and you'll blow my whole deal. 618 00:33:25,503 --> 00:33:27,148 I got a big fish on the line. 619 00:33:27,172 --> 00:33:29,651 Well, what about me? 620 00:33:29,675 --> 00:33:31,552 This could be the love of my life. 621 00:33:31,576 --> 00:33:34,188 If it's the love of your life, it'll last past this cruise. 622 00:33:34,212 --> 00:33:35,823 Please, for the sake of our friendship, 623 00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:38,326 don't speak English till we get off this boat. 624 00:33:38,350 --> 00:33:40,929 I'll tell everybody I borrowed a Berlitz book 625 00:33:40,953 --> 00:33:42,230 from the ship's library. 626 00:33:42,254 --> 00:33:43,319 No. 627 00:33:44,289 --> 00:33:46,355 I'm a quick study. No. 628 00:33:47,426 --> 00:33:49,603 Well, then do me a favor. What? 629 00:33:49,627 --> 00:33:52,240 Next time you ask me to go on a cruise with you, don't. 630 00:34:02,207 --> 00:34:05,687 You know, it's funny. I... I feel like I've known you all my life. 631 00:34:05,711 --> 00:34:07,689 I mean, all these strange coincidences. 632 00:34:07,713 --> 00:34:08,856 Like you thinking you knew me 633 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:12,226 and us wearing the same ring and all. 634 00:34:12,250 --> 00:34:15,085 I don't know, it's like we were meant for each other. 635 00:34:16,388 --> 00:34:18,121 I love you, you know. 636 00:34:20,759 --> 00:34:22,999 I wondered who was gonna say it first. 637 00:34:24,363 --> 00:34:26,674 Lilly, would you think I was crazy 638 00:34:26,698 --> 00:34:29,010 if I asked you to come to California with me? 639 00:34:29,034 --> 00:34:32,013 We could get married. 640 00:34:32,037 --> 00:34:34,348 I have a career in New York. 641 00:34:34,372 --> 00:34:36,117 We could be together there too. 642 00:34:36,141 --> 00:34:38,286 No, I'd never fit in. 643 00:34:38,310 --> 00:34:39,487 Yes, you would. 644 00:34:39,511 --> 00:34:41,356 I'd be like a fish out of water. 645 00:34:41,380 --> 00:34:42,757 You'd love New York. 646 00:34:42,781 --> 00:34:45,059 I know you would if you gave it a try. 647 00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:47,862 I could get you a job at the agency writing music. 648 00:34:47,886 --> 00:34:49,163 I'd be no good at it. 649 00:34:49,187 --> 00:34:51,032 What do you mean you'd be no good at it? 650 00:34:51,056 --> 00:34:53,000 You were good at it. You were the best! 651 00:34:53,024 --> 00:34:54,924 Damn it, don't you remember? 652 00:34:57,061 --> 00:34:59,040 Lady, you're out of your mind. 653 00:34:59,064 --> 00:35:01,108 You're the one who's out of his mind. 654 00:35:01,132 --> 00:35:02,877 Alex, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. 655 00:35:02,901 --> 00:35:06,069 Once and for all, my name's Ted. Ted Wilcox. 656 00:35:14,780 --> 00:35:16,290 Hi there, Mr. Computer-mate. 657 00:35:16,314 --> 00:35:18,592 Hi, gorgeous. Wanna come out and play? 658 00:35:18,616 --> 00:35:20,294 Wanna come in and play? 659 00:35:20,318 --> 00:35:22,664 I thought you'd never ask. 660 00:35:22,688 --> 00:35:25,533 I thought of nothing but you all day. 661 00:35:25,557 --> 00:35:26,668 What... What are you doing? 662 00:35:26,692 --> 00:35:28,236 I gotta shave. 663 00:35:28,260 --> 00:35:29,737 You've done that three times already. 664 00:35:29,761 --> 00:35:30,972 Think you should give it a rest? 665 00:35:30,996 --> 00:35:32,339 I like to look my best. 666 00:35:32,363 --> 00:35:34,175 You like to look in the mirror. 667 00:35:34,199 --> 00:35:35,409 How would you know? 668 00:35:35,433 --> 00:35:37,512 You have your head inside a book most of the time. 669 00:35:37,536 --> 00:35:39,180 You're really a drag, you know. 670 00:35:39,204 --> 00:35:40,414 A drag? 671 00:35:40,438 --> 00:35:42,216 You don't know the meaning of the word. 672 00:35:42,240 --> 00:35:43,651 In fact, there are a lot of words 673 00:35:43,675 --> 00:35:46,020 you don't know the meaning of. Are you calling me a dummy? 674 00:35:46,044 --> 00:35:47,955 Well, I'll tell you what you are. 675 00:35:47,979 --> 00:35:50,692 You're a boring egghead with as much sex appeal as a... 676 00:35:50,716 --> 00:35:53,160 As a bowling ball. 677 00:35:53,184 --> 00:35:56,163 Oh, no, my tan is beginning to fade. 678 00:35:56,187 --> 00:35:57,599 I need some sun. 679 00:35:57,623 --> 00:35:59,200 You know what you really need? 680 00:35:59,224 --> 00:36:01,758 What? Another shave. 681 00:36:27,385 --> 00:36:29,396 Brigitte. Oui? 682 00:36:32,257 --> 00:36:36,771 Uh... Uh... 683 00:36:36,795 --> 00:36:39,740 Oh, Brig... You know, I just wish you could speak my language. 684 00:36:39,764 --> 00:36:46,180 Oh, Gopher... Huh? 685 00:36:46,204 --> 00:36:47,849 I said if only I could... 686 00:36:47,873 --> 00:36:50,084 Wait, wait, wait. Did you just say something in English? 687 00:36:50,108 --> 00:36:51,919 Ah! 688 00:36:51,943 --> 00:36:52,943 Oh! 689 00:36:55,013 --> 00:36:58,058 Wait, wait. Uh... Oh! Brigette. 690 00:36:58,082 --> 00:36:59,126 No, no, no. Excuse moi. 691 00:36:59,150 --> 00:37:01,028 No, no. No, excuse moi. 692 00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:09,303 Ah, oui. 693 00:37:14,699 --> 00:37:16,211 You have something for the stain? 694 00:37:17,803 --> 00:37:20,084 Oh, good. Thank you. Right! 695 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:23,150 Thanks a lot. 696 00:37:23,174 --> 00:37:26,108 Make that merci beaucoup. 697 00:37:34,385 --> 00:37:35,529 Happy? Mm-hm. 698 00:37:35,553 --> 00:37:36,630 I think we can say 699 00:37:36,654 --> 00:37:38,465 that your machine is a total success. 700 00:37:38,489 --> 00:37:41,991 Ah, my machine only helps those who help themselves. 701 00:37:43,861 --> 00:37:45,739 Whew. Let's go. 702 00:37:48,633 --> 00:37:51,800 Oh, I'd say a complete success. 703 00:37:55,773 --> 00:37:58,308 You are a cultural desert. 704 00:37:59,810 --> 00:38:01,388 Vast. 705 00:38:01,412 --> 00:38:04,759 You... You haven't even read James Joyce. 706 00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:07,761 I've read the dirty parts. 707 00:38:07,785 --> 00:38:11,398 Is that all you can think about is sex? 708 00:38:11,422 --> 00:38:13,689 Well, someone has to think of it. 709 00:38:25,537 --> 00:38:26,814 Voilà. 710 00:38:26,838 --> 00:38:27,815 Merci. 711 00:38:27,839 --> 00:38:29,119 Thanks, sweetie. 712 00:38:30,208 --> 00:38:31,586 You speak English. 713 00:38:31,610 --> 00:38:32,587 Uh-huh. 714 00:38:32,611 --> 00:38:33,588 Oh, by the way, 715 00:38:33,612 --> 00:38:34,955 I can't get rid of the stain. 716 00:38:34,979 --> 00:38:36,223 But I can get rid of you. 717 00:38:36,247 --> 00:38:37,759 Hey, Yvonne. Wait... Wait, Yvonne! 718 00:38:37,783 --> 00:38:39,994 Yvonne, you can't leave now. 719 00:38:41,119 --> 00:38:42,663 Good evening. Enjoying your cruise? 720 00:38:42,687 --> 00:38:43,967 Me too. 721 00:38:51,630 --> 00:38:53,974 Oh, Doc, I blew it. 722 00:38:53,998 --> 00:38:56,744 He asked me to marry him and live in California. 723 00:38:56,768 --> 00:38:57,845 And? 724 00:38:57,869 --> 00:38:59,747 And I said we should live in New York. 725 00:38:59,771 --> 00:39:02,817 That I could get him his old job writing jingles. 726 00:39:02,841 --> 00:39:05,853 He doesn't belong up in the woods making guitars. 727 00:39:05,877 --> 00:39:06,887 Why not? 728 00:39:06,911 --> 00:39:08,922 Because he has a brilliant mind. 729 00:39:08,946 --> 00:39:10,958 He could write his own ticket on Madison Avenue. 730 00:39:10,982 --> 00:39:13,215 Maybe he doesn't like Madison Avenue. 731 00:39:15,420 --> 00:39:17,586 Maybe Madison Avenue is the reason he snapped. 732 00:39:20,859 --> 00:39:22,337 What do you mean? 733 00:39:22,361 --> 00:39:24,539 Look, amnesia can be caused by emotional stress. 734 00:39:24,563 --> 00:39:28,898 If there's too much pressure on a person, the mind reacts. 735 00:39:30,635 --> 00:39:33,547 I put more pressure on Alex than anyone. 736 00:39:33,571 --> 00:39:35,148 I drove him. 737 00:39:35,172 --> 00:39:37,373 I wanted us to have our own agency. 738 00:39:39,443 --> 00:39:43,424 The crazy thing is, I love the new Alex. 739 00:39:43,448 --> 00:39:44,959 If you love him, then why don't you go out 740 00:39:44,983 --> 00:39:45,960 to California with him? 741 00:39:45,984 --> 00:39:47,294 Oh, sure, just drop everything 742 00:39:47,318 --> 00:39:49,238 and run off and live out a fantasy. 743 00:39:53,157 --> 00:39:54,423 Don't you have a fantasy? 744 00:39:55,927 --> 00:39:57,805 Yeah. 745 00:39:57,829 --> 00:40:00,563 I've always wanted something more than jingles. 746 00:40:02,467 --> 00:40:04,945 I wanted to write songs about life and love. 747 00:40:04,969 --> 00:40:07,214 My favorite kind. 748 00:40:07,238 --> 00:40:08,516 But I'm no Carole King. 749 00:40:08,540 --> 00:40:10,618 I'd probably fall flat on my face. 750 00:40:10,642 --> 00:40:12,687 Lilly, if you're happy with what you're doing, 751 00:40:12,711 --> 00:40:13,910 you're not failing. 752 00:40:15,780 --> 00:40:17,525 That sounds like something Ted would say. 753 00:40:17,549 --> 00:40:18,693 Don't you mean Alex? 754 00:40:18,717 --> 00:40:21,283 No. I mean Ted. 755 00:40:34,533 --> 00:40:35,876 Oh, say, Nick, uh, 756 00:40:35,900 --> 00:40:38,946 have you, uh, put my new card through the machine? 757 00:40:38,970 --> 00:40:40,748 Yes, sir. 758 00:40:40,772 --> 00:40:42,216 And? 759 00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:46,687 And, uh... Uh, well, what can I say? 760 00:40:46,711 --> 00:40:48,244 Good night. 761 00:40:51,716 --> 00:40:54,083 Why don't you just say that you lost it? 762 00:41:04,963 --> 00:41:06,643 Whoa! I'm sorry... 763 00:41:09,367 --> 00:41:10,745 Gopher... Sir... Sir, no, 764 00:41:10,769 --> 00:41:12,713 I can explain everything. And you will. 765 00:41:12,737 --> 00:41:14,982 In my office. Right now. 766 00:41:15,006 --> 00:41:17,340 But, sir, I've gotta get back to... Now! 767 00:41:18,743 --> 00:41:20,154 Uh, captain? Yes? 768 00:41:20,178 --> 00:41:23,379 I see the computer finally came up with a date for you. 769 00:41:26,084 --> 00:41:28,062 Sir, can we take shorter steps? 770 00:41:28,086 --> 00:41:30,431 As many steps as you wanna take. 771 00:41:30,455 --> 00:41:32,221 This way. 772 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,673 Wow. Ah. Wow. Heh. 773 00:41:38,697 --> 00:41:40,440 Would you like a drink? 774 00:41:40,464 --> 00:41:43,811 Uh, no, no. This late at night, the only thing I can drink 775 00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:45,735 is hot cocoa. 776 00:41:51,042 --> 00:41:52,286 Hot cocoa. 777 00:41:52,310 --> 00:41:54,121 Mmm. I got some hot cocoa. 778 00:41:54,145 --> 00:41:55,778 Thank you. 779 00:41:56,681 --> 00:41:57,892 Mm. Well, all we need now 780 00:41:57,916 --> 00:41:59,494 is some Frank Sinatra. 781 00:42:07,225 --> 00:42:08,635 But where's Frank? 782 00:42:08,659 --> 00:42:12,306 Julie, I don't want any other men in your life. 783 00:42:12,330 --> 00:42:15,877 Oh, whatever I ever said about your theories, Nick, 784 00:42:15,901 --> 00:42:17,978 I apologize. 785 00:42:18,002 --> 00:42:21,448 I'll never complain about your computer again. 786 00:42:23,307 --> 00:42:25,352 Oh, no. 787 00:42:25,376 --> 00:42:26,887 Not now. 788 00:42:37,288 --> 00:42:39,734 Your computer stinks! 789 00:42:39,758 --> 00:42:41,536 Listen, we want a rematch. 790 00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:43,404 All... All we ever do is fight. 791 00:42:43,428 --> 00:42:44,805 Look, every couple can expect 792 00:42:44,829 --> 00:42:46,607 to have differences now and then... 793 00:42:46,631 --> 00:42:48,074 How's this for a difference? 794 00:42:48,098 --> 00:42:50,477 I cannot stand the sight of this man. 795 00:42:50,501 --> 00:42:52,113 Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha. 796 00:42:52,137 --> 00:42:54,515 Now you're laughing, but when I wanted a few laughs, 797 00:42:54,539 --> 00:42:57,217 all you could talk about was the origin of German lieder 798 00:42:57,241 --> 00:42:58,919 and its influence on zither music. 799 00:43:01,946 --> 00:43:03,324 You got me in this, now you get me out. 800 00:43:03,348 --> 00:43:05,225 Oh, get him out? The peacock. 801 00:43:05,249 --> 00:43:06,594 The only time he looks me in the eyes 802 00:43:06,618 --> 00:43:07,862 is to see his own reflection. 803 00:43:07,886 --> 00:43:09,596 Now, relax, everybody, we can work this out. 804 00:43:09,620 --> 00:43:10,898 I want to trade this guy in. 805 00:43:10,922 --> 00:43:12,199 Listen, I should either 806 00:43:12,223 --> 00:43:14,068 punch you in the nose or kick in your computer. 807 00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:15,769 A punch in the nose? That sounds good to me. 808 00:43:15,793 --> 00:43:17,671 Now, hold it, fellas... Yeah! I'm gonna hold him, 809 00:43:17,695 --> 00:43:18,806 you bite him in the leg. 810 00:43:18,830 --> 00:43:20,474 Go ahead. Now... Now, wait a second. 811 00:43:20,498 --> 00:43:22,809 We can talk about this. 812 00:43:22,833 --> 00:43:24,378 Well, here I am. 813 00:43:24,402 --> 00:43:25,680 It's late at night. 814 00:43:25,704 --> 00:43:27,937 I'm in a handsome man's cabin. 815 00:43:28,973 --> 00:43:32,008 Soft lights. Beautiful music. 816 00:43:33,745 --> 00:43:36,624 Something just doesn't seem right. 817 00:44:01,072 --> 00:44:02,072 Hi. 818 00:44:02,774 --> 00:44:04,273 Hi. 819 00:44:06,778 --> 00:44:09,089 Ted, I'm sorry about this afternoon. 820 00:44:09,113 --> 00:44:10,390 Oh, that's okay. 821 00:44:10,414 --> 00:44:12,660 I was trying to turn you into someone I once knew. 822 00:44:12,684 --> 00:44:14,427 It was a mistake. 823 00:44:14,451 --> 00:44:16,197 No, it was my mistake. 824 00:44:16,221 --> 00:44:17,687 I almost let you get away. 825 00:44:22,894 --> 00:44:23,871 Is that offer still open 826 00:44:23,895 --> 00:44:25,806 to sit and watch the Russian River go by? 827 00:44:25,830 --> 00:44:28,642 You mean you're willing to give up New York? 828 00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:30,578 It's just a city. 829 00:44:30,602 --> 00:44:32,034 And your career? 830 00:44:33,004 --> 00:44:34,948 Can I tell you a secret? 831 00:44:34,972 --> 00:44:37,584 There's always been something lacking. 832 00:44:37,608 --> 00:44:40,687 All I've ever really wanted to do was write songs. 833 00:44:40,711 --> 00:44:44,825 And I know deep down if I give myself the chance, 834 00:44:44,849 --> 00:44:46,415 I can write good ones. 835 00:44:48,019 --> 00:44:50,731 Well, I can offer you a rocking chair 836 00:44:50,755 --> 00:44:53,356 and a sunset every now and then for inspiration. 837 00:45:05,002 --> 00:45:06,002 You scared? 838 00:45:07,205 --> 00:45:08,849 Mm-hm. 839 00:45:08,873 --> 00:45:11,718 But someone once told me if you like what you're doing, 840 00:45:11,742 --> 00:45:13,309 you'll be great at it. 841 00:45:15,013 --> 00:45:16,824 And I sure like what I'm doing. 842 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:37,444 Oh! 843 00:45:37,468 --> 00:45:39,246 C'est magnifique. 844 00:45:45,276 --> 00:45:46,587 Brigitte, you're not being fair. 845 00:45:46,611 --> 00:45:47,988 It's a complete misunderstanding. 846 00:45:48,012 --> 00:45:49,156 Look, will you let me explain? 847 00:45:49,180 --> 00:45:50,958 How can you explain it? You didn't come back 848 00:45:50,982 --> 00:45:52,793 and you dumped me and left me all alone 849 00:45:52,817 --> 00:45:54,061 in the Acapulco Lounge. 850 00:45:54,085 --> 00:45:55,663 You speak English? She speaks English. 851 00:45:55,687 --> 00:45:57,564 Yeah. Just like Yvonne. 852 00:46:02,627 --> 00:46:05,939 Pardon my French, honey, but take a hike. 853 00:46:05,963 --> 00:46:07,808 Walt, excuse moi. 854 00:46:07,832 --> 00:46:09,531 And pourquois pas. 855 00:46:10,935 --> 00:46:13,380 Well, there goes my millionaire. 856 00:46:13,404 --> 00:46:15,548 Well, c'est la vive. 857 00:46:15,572 --> 00:46:17,050 T'aint funny, Brigitte. 858 00:46:17,074 --> 00:46:18,952 Chéri, Seymour. 859 00:46:23,848 --> 00:46:25,526 You spoke English the whole time. 860 00:46:25,550 --> 00:46:27,394 I made a complete fool of myself. 861 00:46:27,418 --> 00:46:29,596 It was Yvonne's idea. 862 00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:31,698 She thought it would be a good way to get guys. 863 00:46:31,722 --> 00:46:33,923 Yeah, French guys. 864 00:46:35,193 --> 00:46:37,026 Gopher. 865 00:46:41,299 --> 00:46:43,143 Mm. 866 00:46:43,167 --> 00:46:44,167 Encore. 867 00:46:45,569 --> 00:46:47,937 Well, if you insist. 868 00:46:51,742 --> 00:46:54,455 Goodbye, Doc. And thank you for everything. 869 00:46:54,479 --> 00:46:56,891 Sure. Run off with a guitar player. 870 00:46:56,915 --> 00:46:58,425 If you'd heard me play stethoscope, 871 00:46:58,449 --> 00:47:00,369 it would have been a different story. 872 00:47:01,819 --> 00:47:02,829 Goodbye, Ted. 873 00:47:02,853 --> 00:47:04,019 Bye, Doc. 874 00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:11,505 I love you, you know. 875 00:47:11,529 --> 00:47:13,907 More than I did before. 876 00:47:13,931 --> 00:47:15,342 Before? 877 00:47:15,366 --> 00:47:17,377 Well, I don't remember much about my life in New York, 878 00:47:17,401 --> 00:47:19,946 but last night with you, 879 00:47:19,970 --> 00:47:22,449 I remembered the most important part: 880 00:47:22,473 --> 00:47:25,041 I loved you then and I love you now. 881 00:47:29,681 --> 00:47:32,059 There you go. Got it? 882 00:47:33,084 --> 00:47:34,061 Captain, I gotta tell you, 883 00:47:34,085 --> 00:47:35,062 I'm really embarrassed 884 00:47:35,086 --> 00:47:36,664 about the way things worked out. 885 00:47:36,688 --> 00:47:38,331 I don't know. I... I guess the machine 886 00:47:38,355 --> 00:47:39,800 was just malfunctioning. 887 00:47:39,824 --> 00:47:43,536 It had to be broken, or it would have found someone for me. 888 00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:46,607 Wouldn't it? Well... Don't answer that. 889 00:47:46,631 --> 00:47:48,576 So you like, uh, James Joyce and, uh, lieder music. 890 00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:50,678 Listen, I'm sorry about... Sam, 891 00:47:50,702 --> 00:47:52,947 do I look like a cultural desert? 892 00:47:52,971 --> 00:47:54,114 No, not at all. 893 00:47:54,138 --> 00:47:55,216 Not at all. 894 00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:57,885 They're not supposed to be together. 895 00:47:57,909 --> 00:47:59,252 How about a shot of me over there... 896 00:47:59,276 --> 00:48:01,021 I'd like to apologize... Oh, no, lamb chop. 897 00:48:01,045 --> 00:48:02,656 Let's wait till we get to my apartment. 898 00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:05,492 You need a shave. 899 00:48:05,516 --> 00:48:07,956 Oh, that's screwball. How did he end up with her? 900 00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:11,298 Oh, Penny, we're so sorry about this computer business. 901 00:48:11,322 --> 00:48:12,299 Sorry? 902 00:48:12,323 --> 00:48:15,535 Honey, I had a great time. 903 00:48:15,559 --> 00:48:17,972 Look what I ended up with: 904 00:48:17,996 --> 00:48:22,042 a man of few words but plenty of action. 905 00:48:22,066 --> 00:48:24,306 Bye-bye. 906 00:48:24,669 --> 00:48:26,713 Boy, did I mess up everything. 907 00:48:26,737 --> 00:48:28,882 According to the computer, I mean, none of those couples 908 00:48:28,906 --> 00:48:31,084 should be couples. Oh, I don't know. 909 00:48:31,108 --> 00:48:34,309 I think the computer was great for you and Miss McCoy. 910 00:48:36,014 --> 00:48:37,824 Um, confession time, captain. 911 00:48:37,848 --> 00:48:39,893 Uh, the computer had nothing to do with it. 912 00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:40,895 I rigged it. 913 00:48:40,919 --> 00:48:42,162 What? No, that's right. 914 00:48:42,186 --> 00:48:43,330 I... I rigged it. 915 00:48:43,354 --> 00:48:44,465 Julie, I gotta tell you, 916 00:48:44,489 --> 00:48:46,867 the first time I saw you, I knew. 917 00:48:46,891 --> 00:48:48,824 I knew you were the one for me. 918 00:48:50,461 --> 00:48:52,806 Then science had nothing to do with it. 919 00:48:52,830 --> 00:48:54,241 Of course it did. 920 00:48:54,265 --> 00:48:57,132 After all, biology is a science.