1 00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,176 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪ 2 00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:13,245 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪ 3 00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,813 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 4 00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,715 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 5 00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:19,784 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 6 00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:21,620 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 7 00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,521 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪ 8 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:26,491 ♪ Headin' on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 9 00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:28,092 ♪ Murpph mmmph mmph mmmph mrrr mff mrmmph! ♪ 10 00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:29,994 ♪ Murpph mmmph mmph mmmph mrrr mff mrmmph! ♪ 11 00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:32,931 ♪ Come on down to South Park, and meet some friends of mine ♪ 12 00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:48,613 Yeeeah! You got it, Ned! 13 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,516 That was a nice shot! 14 00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:52,850 Thanks. I thought so, too. 15 00:00:52,852 --> 00:00:55,854 Come on, let's see what we got. 16 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:58,056 Huh. Looks like you shot the shit out of it. 17 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,491 There's nothin' left. 18 00:01:00,493 --> 00:01:02,427 Hey. Lookie here. 19 00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:05,664 Jesus. You ever seen animal tracks that big? 20 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:08,666 No, I have not, Jimbo. 21 00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:12,204 Looks like a bear. A huge one! 22 00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,339 Come on, the tracks go this way. 23 00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,877 Look at that. Looks like bear droppings. 24 00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:21,680 But with a man poop right next to it. 25 00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:23,782 I'm scared. 26 00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:28,253 What the hell are we dealing with, Ned? 27 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,889 Whatever it is, it was here recently. 28 00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:32,157 Hey! 29 00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:35,026 What the hell are you guys doing on my farm? 30 00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:37,529 We're trackin' a bear, Randy. 31 00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:38,463 A bear? 32 00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:43,535 That didn't sound like no bear. 33 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,336 Where you goin', Ned? 34 00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:48,740 I'm getting my white ass outta here. 35 00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:54,546 What the fuck?! 36 00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:55,847 Jesus Christ! 37 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,217 Ahghgghghgh! 38 00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:03,221 Helllllllp meeeeee! 39 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:10,829 Neddddddd! 40 00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:16,601 All right, we have some dead cows down at Milner's Ranch. 41 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:19,204 I want Conners and Tiggs to check that out. 42 00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:21,006 And the two hikers are still missing. 43 00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:23,341 Let's have all units keep their ears to the ground. 44 00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:25,811 All right, ladies, that's it. Second shift starts now. 45 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,213 As for me, I'm finally heading home. 46 00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:30,248 Gonna finally get some RandR, sir? 47 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:33,585 Yup. Gonna go home and play me some "Red Dead Redemption 2." 48 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,654 I got a train to rob in Valentine. 49 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:36,922 Detective?! 50 00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,457 Got a call from the school. 51 00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:39,925 Another kid's been killed. 52 00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:42,360 No, no, not another school shooting. 53 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:43,895 Can't they handle it themselves? 54 00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:45,631 Said they need us right away. 55 00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,466 God damn it. 56 00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:50,902 Why the hell can't these kids stop being a pain in my ass? 57 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,309 Children, everyone just stay back, okay? 58 00:02:58,311 --> 00:02:59,745 The police are coming. 59 00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:02,380 All right, what happened? What grade was the shooter in? 60 00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:03,582 Oh, thank God. 61 00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:05,016 Some kindergartners found the body. 62 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,651 I-I don't think it was a shooting. 63 00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:07,986 Of course it's a school shooting. 64 00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,321 It's cut and dry. 65 00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:11,055 Let's just get this over with so I can go home. 66 00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:12,124 Where's the victim? 67 00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:13,124 Over there. 68 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,328 What the hell? 69 00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:19,430 Jesus, it's a complete mauling. 70 00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:22,701 Looks like part of him was eaten. 71 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,236 All right, which one of you little shitheads did this? 72 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:29,073 Come on! I don't have time for these little games. 73 00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:31,043 Which one of you peckers felt isolated 74 00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,510 and lashed out at society? 75 00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:35,146 If I have to stay here and do an investigation 76 00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:37,048 instead of go home and rob a train, 77 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,484 there's gonna be serious hell to pay! 78 00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:43,088 So, what was he doing alone on the playground? 79 00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,089 Staci Nakabe says he just wanted to run back out 80 00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:45,990 and get his football. 81 00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:47,658 Mrph rmhmhm rm! 82 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:49,328 And there were bear prints in the snow? 83 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,697 It wasn't a bear. 84 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,931 I saw it. 85 00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:55,900 You saw what? 86 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,669 It was at my house. 87 00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,504 There was a...thing. 88 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,906 It attacked my uncle and took his friend. 89 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:07,412 It was like a bear, but a pig...thing. 90 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:08,914 Jesus. 91 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,949 It was at my house and then here at the school! 92 00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:13,518 Everyone says that kid and I look alike. 93 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:14,820 What if that thing is after me? 94 00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,654 Dude, now you're just overreacting. 95 00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:17,655 Attention, please. 96 00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:18,890 Will the following students 97 00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:20,358 report to the principal's office. 98 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,760 Eric Cartman. Kenny McCormick. 99 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,062 Thank you, mkay. 100 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,665 Aw, what did I do this time? 101 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:30,936 You go first, Kenny. 102 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,170 Mrph rmhmhm rm! 103 00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:33,538 I didn't even do anything wrong! 104 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:34,773 Mrph rmhmhm rm! 105 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,475 Just stop being a baby, Kenny, and go. 106 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:41,013 Take a seat boys. Right there. 107 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:51,156 You know how shitty it is to be a cop? 108 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:53,625 There's real emergencies every day -- 109 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,794 real people who need real help -- 110 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,995 but then, every other minute, I gotta stop everything 111 00:04:57,997 --> 00:04:59,430 'cause one of you little fuckwads 112 00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:01,232 decides to go and shoot up the school. 113 00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:03,735 Mrph rmhmhm rm! 114 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:07,705 Shut up! Now, which one of you had a beef with Colin Brooks? 115 00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:09,607 Nobody gives a shit about Colin Brooks. 116 00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:12,210 Oh, yeah? I asked the kids in this school, 117 00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:13,845 "Who are the biggest loners? 118 00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:16,381 Who's most likely to rage and be the next school shooter?" 119 00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:17,949 You know what they said? 120 00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:20,718 The fat, ugly, mean kid and the detached, loner, poor kid. 121 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,254 Hey, I'm not poor, all right? 122 00:05:22,256 --> 00:05:25,023 Or was it both of you? Fess up. 123 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,791 I have people in Horseshoe Overlook 124 00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:28,860 who are depending on me to get provisions 125 00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,228 so we can head back east. 126 00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,564 You're playing "Red Dead Redemption," too? 127 00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:33,998 That's right. 128 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,301 And I'm gonna make both of you school shooters pay 129 00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:37,869 for wasting my time. 130 00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:42,807 Keep looking. There's a lot of people 131 00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:43,808 saying they saw it, Kyle. 132 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:45,043 It's not just me. 133 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,078 "Evidence of the creature of South Park." 134 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,880 This is like a conspiracy website. 135 00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,514 It's not a conspiracy, it's real. 136 00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:52,084 Keep going down. There's video. 137 00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:54,719 There! Right there! 138 00:05:58,425 --> 00:05:59,691 That's it. 139 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,893 That's was I saw. 140 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,095 I saw ManBearPig. 141 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,563 ManBearPig? 142 00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:08,099 Don't you remember, dude? We were warned about this. 143 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,868 That weirdo guy who came and told us this would happen? 144 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,870 He was right. 145 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:13,971 You guys! You guys! 146 00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:15,373 The police are trying to say 147 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,042 me and Kenny killed that douchebag Colin Brooks! 148 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,109 What? 149 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,678 They questioned us for hours. 150 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,480 They said they have enough to get warrants for our arrest. 151 00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:23,147 But it wasn't you guys. 152 00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:25,850 We know that! What the hell are we gonna do?! 153 00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:27,151 Who was that ex-president guy? 154 00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:28,453 The one who showed up 155 00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:30,187 and tried to convince everyone of a ManBearPig? 156 00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:31,756 Mrph rmhmhm rm? 157 00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:34,993 Al Gore. 158 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:38,163 In my report, you'll see that Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick 159 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,198 are believed to have worked together. 160 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,966 I've issued warrants for their arrests, 161 00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:45,070 and this case is now in the hands of the DA. 162 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,304 And I am finally going home. 163 00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:49,541 Keep McCormick and Cartman in separate holding cells, 164 00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:51,342 and don't wait on me to book 'em. 165 00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:54,679 I'm gonna be playing "Red Dead Redemption" for the next 18 hours. 166 00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:55,847 Detective! 167 00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:56,815 Whattt?! 168 00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,149 There's more dead kids. 169 00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,184 Out in the woods by Stark's Pond. 170 00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:02,153 In the woods? 171 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,322 There was a school shooting out in the woods? 172 00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:06,024 Outside of school is the one place 173 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,559 kids are supposed to be safe. 174 00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:09,361 They're saying it's really bad, sir. 175 00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:10,461 Need all unites. 176 00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:12,630 God damn it. 177 00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,332 If these kids don't stop killing each other, 178 00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,367 I'm gonna shoot them all myself. 179 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:28,879 Hello, uh, we're looking for a government sort of guy named Al Gore? 180 00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:31,416 Al Gore...? Al Gore...? 181 00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:33,084 Sounds familiar. 182 00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,286 He said he was almost president once. 183 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,821 He came to our town to warn us about something, 184 00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:38,022 and we have to find him. 185 00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:40,425 Oh, yeah. 186 00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:43,027 This looks like Jim Turner. 187 00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,395 Mrph rmhmhm? 188 00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:46,597 The state bowling champion five years in a row. 189 00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:47,966 You can always catch him practicing 190 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,601 down at Gramercy Lanes. 191 00:07:55,409 --> 00:07:56,874 Focus. 192 00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:59,811 Calm. Center. 193 00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:07,151 Yes! Die! 194 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,653 Die, you pins! 195 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,922 Oh, we've got a straggler, do we? 196 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:13,592 You're gonna die just like the rest of 'em. 197 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:14,592 Mr. Gore? 198 00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:16,961 Focus. Calm. 199 00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:18,329 Al Gore? 200 00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:25,570 That's a name I haven't heard in a long time. 201 00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:27,071 I don't know if you remember us, 202 00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:29,708 but we're the kids you got to help try and capture ManBearPig? 203 00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:32,777 Well, uh you were right. 204 00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,612 Ha. You -- You were totally right. 205 00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:35,914 ManBearPig is real, 206 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:38,115 and, uh, he's killing lots of people in our town. 207 00:08:38,117 --> 00:08:41,386 Oh. Sucks for you. 208 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:46,190 Please, Mr. Gore! We need your help! 209 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,958 ManBearPig isn't going to stop. 210 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,461 Oh, is it inconvenient now? 211 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:53,631 I tried to warn you all, but no one took me cereal. 212 00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:55,634 You all just made fun of me, didn't you? 213 00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:58,269 Well, now you can just deal with it yourselves. 214 00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:01,439 Please, just tell us -- How do you stop it? 215 00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,541 You stop it all those years ago 216 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,611 when I freaking warned you and you still had time! 217 00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,279 There has to be something we can still do. 218 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:09,680 Please, Mr. Gore. You're the only person 219 00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:11,115 who knows anything about it. 220 00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:14,852 Say you're sorry for making fun of me. 221 00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:16,053 We didn't... 222 00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:17,722 We didn't realize there were more than -- 223 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:20,992 Say you're sorry for making fun of me. 224 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:24,729 We're sorry for making fun of you. 225 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:28,466 That didn't sound cereal at all. 226 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,875 You can't just go along 227 00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:39,343 with what people are saying, Susan, okay? 228 00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:41,145 There's no scientific proof, 229 00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,848 no real evidence of a ManBearPig. 230 00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:47,051 Well, there's a lot of smart people saying ManBearPig is real. 231 00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:50,421 Yeah, and a lot of smarter people saying it isn't, okay? 232 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,123 What you need to understand, Susan, 233 00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,793 is that everyone has an agenda. Okay? 234 00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:57,394 Everyone wants to use the fear of a ManBearPig 235 00:09:57,396 --> 00:09:58,663 to get what they want. 236 00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:02,566 So they throw around bad science, bad taxidermy. 237 00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:04,269 People coming out of the woodwork 238 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:06,137 are now experts on the subject. 239 00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:10,374 But you have to use your own brain, sweetheart. 240 00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:11,843 You can't just let people tell you 241 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,344 that if you don't believe in ManBearPig, 242 00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,046 then you don't care about the world. 243 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,614 It is real! 244 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,751 You wanna believe it's real, you go right on ahead, Susan. 245 00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:22,520 No, it's right there! It's right there behind you! 246 00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:30,328 Okay, ManBearPig is real. 247 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,163 What are we gonna do about it now, huh? 248 00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:33,431 What are we gonna do 249 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,300 that's gonna make any difference now, Susan? 250 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,335 What?! We have to do something! 251 00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:40,204 What can we do that everyone else will also do, Susan? 252 00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:41,873 Come on, use your brain. 253 00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,407 Even if we do something about it... 254 00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:44,775 ...what about the Chinese? 255 00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:47,244 They're just gonna keep right on -- Ahghhggh! 256 00:10:47,246 --> 00:10:49,714 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 257 00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:51,449 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 258 00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:53,918 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 259 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,653 ♪ That should've been president ♪ 260 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,990 Oh, thanks guys! You shouldn't have! 261 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,925 You told us to. 262 00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:03,161 What did you guys get me? 263 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,929 Oh, wow. Look! 264 00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:06,697 It's a "You were right about ManBearPig" 265 00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:08,199 signed picture! 266 00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,868 So, um... 267 00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:11,936 now maybe we can all work together, huh? 268 00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,873 Hang on! It's movie time! 269 00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:16,640 Go, go! Start it up. 270 00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,811 This is the best party ever. 271 00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:21,846 Oh, look, guys. It's me! 272 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:25,116 There I am, campaigning to be president! 273 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,051 That's me with Hillary! 274 00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:28,987 There's more of me on the campaign trail, 275 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,788 so full of dreams! 276 00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:33,924 Oh, look! It's me when I found out I lost the election! 277 00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:35,560 Boo! 278 00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:36,694 But then look! 279 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,863 There's me getting an Academy Award! 280 00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:41,199 Okay, can we stop ManBearPig now?! 281 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,768 Who said anything about stopping M.B.P.? 282 00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:46,236 Y-You told us to do all this. 283 00:11:46,238 --> 00:11:48,806 Yeah, to make up for ripping on me! 284 00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:50,642 You're still not even gonna help us?! 285 00:11:50,644 --> 00:11:53,244 I've moved on from this life, okay?! 286 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:54,912 I have a new life now! 287 00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:56,214 I'm a bowler! 288 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,882 And when I'm not bowling, I help out my gang. 289 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,685 They're my family now! 290 00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,319 We're wanted in Blackwater, 291 00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:05,123 and we have to move our camp soon! 292 00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,891 You're playing Red Dead Redemption 2? 293 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,559 Yeah. It's amazing. 294 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,328 Only thing is, I have all these stolen items, 295 00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:11,996 and I don't know how to sell them. 296 00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:14,132 We know how. 297 00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:15,600 Oh, really? 298 00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:22,073 No witnesses to the attack were left alive. 299 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,741 The same bear and pig droppings were found 300 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,676 along with human excrement. 301 00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,078 I don't believe it. 302 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,280 A school shooting at an ice cream shop. 303 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:30,981 Damn it! When children leave school, 304 00:12:30,983 --> 00:12:33,250 they're supposed to be out of harm's way. 305 00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:34,385 Detective! 306 00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:36,186 Sir, we got word on the two suspects. 307 00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:37,922 They appear to be on the run. 308 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,990 I would be, too, if I were guilty. 309 00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:42,293 No one has seen them or their two closest friends. 310 00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:44,729 A Marsh and Broflovski. 311 00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:47,231 So, we got us a gang of shooters, huh?! 312 00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:51,269 How the hell hard can it be to find four boys?! 313 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,336 Sir... 314 00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:54,104 Why don't you take a break, sir? 315 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:55,172 Ehh. 316 00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:56,474 You've been hittin' it hard. 317 00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,476 We'll do all we can to catch these kids. 318 00:12:58,478 --> 00:12:59,577 Go home, 319 00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:01,345 play some "Red Dead Redemption." 320 00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:02,546 Huh. 321 00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:04,314 Got to admit, I'd love to see the sun 322 00:13:04,316 --> 00:13:06,517 rise over Citadel Rock again. 323 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,552 And I got me a gal who claims she's got 324 00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:10,187 a side mission or two. 325 00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:11,389 Go on home, sir. 326 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:14,792 We'll take care of everything here. 327 00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,099 This is it. 328 00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:23,301 Every piece of information I ever gathered 329 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,568 on ManBearPig. 330 00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:26,537 Where did ManBearPig come from? 331 00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,173 Is it some sort of genetic mutation? 332 00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:30,741 Oh! I thought that once, too. 333 00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:33,277 I wanted to find ManBearPig's origins. 334 00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:36,614 And so I created this -- the Internet. 335 00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:39,016 With that, I was able to search everywhere 336 00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:40,517 for any bit of data. 337 00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:43,521 And what I learned is that ManBearPig... 338 00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:45,423 is a demon. 339 00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:46,690 Rmphm?! 340 00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:48,826 This is "The Temptation of St. Anthony" 341 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,428 by Martin Schongauer. 342 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,163 It depicts several demons -- 343 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:56,434 WolfMonkeyGuy, ChickenFishWoman and ElephantPorcupineMan, 344 00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:57,835 just to name a few. 345 00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,304 All of them demons sent by the Devil himself. 346 00:14:00,306 --> 00:14:02,773 Oh, my God. 347 00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,041 What? 348 00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:05,543 I should play "Red Dead" on this computer, 349 00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:06,644 with all three screens. 350 00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,680 That'd be so bitchin' sweet. 351 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,814 Why did the devil send ManBearPig?! 352 00:14:10,816 --> 00:14:12,283 Why does the devil do anything? 353 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,985 He's the freakin' devil. He's a dick. 354 00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:17,154 It's probably too late. 355 00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:19,390 By now ManBearPig is so powerful 356 00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:20,925 that the only way to get rid of him 357 00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:23,728 is to send him back to hell. 358 00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:28,299 We're going to have to do a demonic ritual. 359 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:29,600 All I can say is, 360 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,735 you boys better get to the grocery store, 361 00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:35,907 'cause it's time... to get cereal. 362 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,080 Harrison Yates, where have ya been?! 363 00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:45,382 Another school shooting, Maggie. 364 00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:48,185 Down at Baskin-Robbins. 365 00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:52,623 I haven't seen you in days. I've missed you so much. 366 00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,425 Come have some supper with me. 367 00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,761 Maggie, I just need to relax a bit, all right? 368 00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:57,928 Please. 369 00:14:57,930 --> 00:14:59,530 I've been waiting for this a long time. 370 00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:00,931 Just give me a -- 371 00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:02,733 Wait a minute. 372 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,102 The house in Valentine is built? 373 00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:07,505 Where did I get a sniper rifle? 374 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:08,572 Maggie! 375 00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,408 Did you play over my save game? 376 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,942 I just played a little bit. 377 00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:14,244 A little bit, you -- On my save game?! 378 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:16,214 Why didn't you start your own?! 379 00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:17,582 You're never home anymore! 380 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,149 With all these school shootin's! 381 00:15:19,151 --> 00:15:21,219 I need a life, too, ya know! 382 00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,121 So I robbed a lumber mill in Monto's Rest, 383 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:25,189 upgraded my horse, and got a sniper rifle. 384 00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,091 That's my life, Maggie! 385 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,626 I was going for more honor points! 386 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:29,861 God damn it! 387 00:15:29,863 --> 00:15:31,829 Why can't we have a life together?! 388 00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,764 I haven't gotten to play in three days. 389 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,399 You've done all this stuff without me! 390 00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:36,968 You got deputized?! 391 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,137 Oh, God damn it! That does it. 392 00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:41,139 Where are ya goin'?! 393 00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,107 I'm starting a new life! 394 00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:44,675 I'm creating a new save game. 395 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,243 You can't possibly go all the way back 396 00:15:46,245 --> 00:15:47,478 to the snow level again! 397 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,480 What choice do I have now?! 398 00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:55,053 Fuckin' bitch. 399 00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:09,467 Abbul abash my-ah. 400 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,869 What Satan has put forth upon this earth 401 00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:15,540 may it be summoned and banished forever. 402 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,176 Dude, come on, what are we doing? 403 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,745 This is stupid. He was right before. 404 00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:23,947 We call upon the powers of darkness. 405 00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:26,884 Come on, guys. We call upon... 406 00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:30,254 We call upon the powers of darkness. 407 00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,356 Al Gore was right. 408 00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:34,926 Al Gore was right all along. 409 00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:37,728 Al Gore was right all along. 410 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:40,831 We should have listened to Al Gore. 411 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,901 We should have all listened to Al Gor-- Wait. 412 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,436 Wait. Are you videoing us? 413 00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:47,404 It's Instagram live. Keep going! 414 00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:50,441 We should have taken Al Gore more cereal. 415 00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:52,043 All right. All right. That's enough. 416 00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,844 You need to stop wasting our time, dude. 417 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,179 People are dying! 418 00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:56,680 You don't have a fucking clue what you're doing! 419 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,293 You were saying? 420 00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:10,428 Aw, shit! 421 00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:11,529 God Damn it! Nothing! 422 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,464 I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 423 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:30,448 Do you all have any idea what's it's like to start over?! 424 00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,416 You walk four hours through the snow 425 00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:34,385 relearning everything, 426 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,420 all because your bitch wife went and spent 427 00:17:36,422 --> 00:17:39,656 all your hard earned money on upgrades you didn't want! 428 00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:41,558 I get one little break from work -- 429 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,128 one little break -- and I didn't even get back 430 00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:46,430 to the first brawl at the saloon. 431 00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:48,899 You can actually bypass that fight 432 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,300 if you go hunting with Dutch. 433 00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:51,636 Shut up! 434 00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:54,338 These school shootings are done, you hear me?! 435 00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:56,907 I want this case closed by the end of the night, 436 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,409 one way or another! 437 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,243 Now, let's move out! 438 00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:02,646 Here he comes, boys! 439 00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:04,448 Prepare yourselves! 440 00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:19,363 Who hath summoned me to this realm?! 441 00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:21,331 Dude! You summoned Satan! 442 00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:24,802 Yeah no doi! What'dya think we were doing?! 443 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:29,072 Prince of darkness! It is I, Al Gore! 444 00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:31,708 I was almost president! 445 00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:35,780 What do you wish of me, Al Gore?! 446 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:36,947 A demon from Hell 447 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,282 has been unleashed upon our world! 448 00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:41,586 We demand to know its nature! 449 00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:44,555 We demand to know its reason for coming! 450 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:49,327 There is only one place you can find the answers you seek! 451 00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:52,129 It is the place where all knowledge 452 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,398 becomes known! 453 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,401 Your local library. 454 00:18:57,403 --> 00:18:59,904 Ah! You are correct. 455 00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:02,940 Your local library is an excellent resource 456 00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:05,042 for whatever you wish to learn. 457 00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:07,244 Yes, it is. 458 00:19:07,246 --> 00:19:09,313 Then I command thee, Satan, 459 00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,782 to come with us to the local library! 460 00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:14,218 And I am cereal! 461 00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,386 Dude, Satan's not gonna go with us to the -- 462 00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:21,225 Very well, Al Gore. Let us go! 463 00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:26,430 Yeah, guys! Guys, over here! 464 00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,398 I think I found it. 465 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,235 What you're dealing with is a Sifter of Fate. 466 00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:32,636 Mrph rmhmhm? 467 00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:35,439 So there's these demons that, um, actually come 468 00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:37,341 once every few generations. 469 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:39,576 They're all about making deals. 470 00:19:39,578 --> 00:19:40,744 Making deals? 471 00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:42,146 Yeah, check it out. 472 00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:45,048 "The Sifter of Fate thrives on tempting mankind. 473 00:19:45,050 --> 00:19:48,052 It will always offer a deal in exchange for mercy, 474 00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:50,086 but the carnage will be a thousand times worse 475 00:19:50,088 --> 00:19:51,555 when the debt comes due." 476 00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:52,790 Okay, so wait. 477 00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,625 Now you're saying that someone in our town 478 00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:55,959 made a deal with that thing? 479 00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:58,395 Now it's here to claim it's part of the bargain. 480 00:19:58,397 --> 00:19:59,930 It's sort of like when you're part of a gang 481 00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,865 feuding with a rival gang, you know. 482 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,133 You ride around on your horse 483 00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:04,368 thinking it won't all catch up with you, 484 00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,203 but it always does. 485 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,438 You're playing "Red Dead Redemption," too? 486 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:09,874 So good, right? 487 00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:13,644 Attention, school shooters! 488 00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,213 We have you surrounded! 489 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,882 Come out with your hands up! 490 00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:21,251 Oh, Jesus. You gotta tell them, Mr. Gore! 491 00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:22,686 Tell them it wasn't us! 492 00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:25,456 No. They don't listen to me, kids. 493 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:28,058 It's up to you young people now. 494 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:31,228 You have to find a way to get people to take this cereal. 495 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,563 You must convince people there's a ManBearPig, 496 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,933 which Satan told you is a Fate Sifter demon 497 00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:39,103 that made a deal with someone in this town! 498 00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:40,671 That's gonna be impossible. 499 00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:42,940 Yeah, sounds really hard, doesn't it? 500 00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:44,107 People might not believe you 501 00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:45,609 and, like, make fun of you and stuff. 502 00:20:45,611 --> 00:20:47,077 Poor you guys, huh? 503 00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,485 They are coming out! 504 00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:56,553 Hands where we can see em! 505 00:20:56,555 --> 00:21:00,190 Everyone, listen! ManBearPig is real. 506 00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:02,393 It's a demon that thrives on making deals 507 00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:04,695 to exploit mankind's weaknesses. 508 00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:07,498 I am super-duper cereal. 509 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:14,238 We all have to work together, you guys. This one time. 510 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,374 We have to all put our pride aside 511 00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:19,810 and be willing to say, maybe we were wrong. 512 00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:22,346 All right, lock these little fuckers up! 513 00:21:22,348 --> 00:21:25,348 No! You can't! 514 00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:28,052 That's it, gentlemen! Case closed. 515 00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:30,420 Now I've got a God damn stagecoach to rob 516 00:21:30,422 --> 00:21:31,955 in Scarlett Meadows! 517 00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:33,623 Well done, sir! 518 00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:35,626 No! Noooo! 519 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:38,629 Please! Somebody made a deal with ManBearPig! 520 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,398 We have to find out who! 521 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,001 Billy... 522 00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:45,870 what have I done? 523 00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:52,175 What are we gonna do 524 00:21:52,177 --> 00:21:54,044 that's gonna make any difference now, Susan? 525 00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:56,079 What?! We have to do something! 526 00:21:56,081 --> 00:21:58,949 What can we do that everyone else will also do, Susan? 527 00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:00,618 Come on, use your brain. 528 00:22:00,620 --> 00:22:02,152 Even if we do something about it... 529 00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:03,520 ...what about the Chinese? 530 00:22:03,522 --> 00:22:06,731 They're just gonna keep right on -- Ahghhggh!