1
00:00:01,601 --> 00:00:03,502
So how was
the blind date?

2
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,671
She was a jedi.

3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,108
Lightsaber, robes.

4
00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:11,343
Whole nine yards.

5
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,445
Weird, she was.

6
00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:16,115
Wow, you're really having
a terrible dating year.

7
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:17,616
Kate:
Although it's been
a banner year

8
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,785
For the lotion people.

9
00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:20,986
Keeping them

10
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:22,388
In business.

11
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:25,124
Single-handedly.

12
00:00:26,292 --> 00:00:29,294
Hey, guys. So, I've decided
to get andi a push present

13
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:30,963
For the birth of
the second baby.

14
00:00:30,965 --> 00:00:32,865
Aw, what are you thinking?
Okay.

15
00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:35,968
A brand-new... Roof.

16
00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:38,037
Seriously,
what are you thinking?

17
00:00:38,039 --> 00:00:39,805
I'm not talking composite.

18
00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:40,906
Slate!

19
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:42,307
Yeah, come on, babe.

20
00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:45,744
Slate is the most romantic
of all the roofs.

21
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:48,647
Very funny. But andi and I
both enjoy practical gifts,

22
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,749
And there are some home
improvements we need to make.

23
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:52,151
so boring.

24
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:54,386
You see? This is
why I'm not married.

25
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,288
Yeah, that's why.

26
00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:58,657
Look, bobby,
you need help.

27
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:00,025
I'll come with.
Why?

28
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:02,027
Andi loves every gift
I've ever gotten her.

29
00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:04,930
Oh, that's so sweet. And wrong.

30
00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:06,331
What?

31
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:08,033
She doesn't like
your gifts, dude.

32
00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:09,902
That's not true.
What about the...

33
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,036
No.

34
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:12,037
Yeah, but what about the...

35
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:13,072
She didn't.

36
00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:14,406
You're not even letting me...

37
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,607
Don't have to.

38
00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:18,177
Well, she said she liked
them. Why would she lie?

39
00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:20,179
'cause she cares
about your feelings. Luckily,

40
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:22,581
I don't. So I'm gonna
give it to you straight.

41
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,216
You stink at this, but...

42
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:26,051
Don't worry.
I'll help you.

43
00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:28,187
Okay. Sounds good.

44
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:31,423
We can head
over to the...
She hates that place.

45
00:01:32,692 --> 00:01:35,094
¶ ¶

46
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:51,977
Hello.

47
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,812
Hey. I'm on my way.
Are you ready?

48
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:56,615
Um...

49
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,317
Oh, andi, you forgot?

50
00:01:58,319 --> 00:01:59,885
You said you'd help me
answer phones

51
00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,987
At lowell's
tortoise sanctuary telethon.

52
00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:05,257
Oh, that's right.
The turtle thing.

53
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:09,061
So glad you remembered
that I said I'd do that.

54
00:02:09,063 --> 00:02:11,330
Okay, I'll text
when I'm outside.
W-wait.

55
00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:12,598
I can't make it.
Wait,

56
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,067
What? Why not?
The truth is I just...

57
00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:16,301
Can't get out of bed.

58
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,904
Oh, no. You're on bed rest?

59
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,639
since when?

60
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:23,742
No, no. I'm not...
Oh, my god.
My cousin was put on bed rest,

61
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:26,645
And it was awful. All she could
do was just lie there

62
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,480
And eat and watch tv.

63
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,649
For weeks.

64
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,921
It is... It is devastating.

65
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,923
I can't do anything.

66
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:40,659
No turtle-thon, no errands,
no chores,

67
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:44,496
Nothing.

68
00:02:46,432 --> 00:02:48,867
That was a
solid workout.

69
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:52,437
You drank smoothies and
watched a women's spin class.

70
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:55,807
And you lifted weights
with a bunch of sweaty dudes,

71
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,676
So who had the better morning?

72
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,815
Uh-oh.

73
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,317
What?

74
00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:07,786
I may have had
one too many smoothies.

75
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:10,689
well, can you
make it back to the house?

76
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,457
Nope.

77
00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:16,828
I'm at defcon 1, and my colon
has the launch codes.

78
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:19,364
You just ran
a stop sign.
Yeah.

79
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,733
Defcon 1, dude.
Normal rules do not apply.

80
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:25,304
Luckily, we're near my old
house. I still have my key.

81
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:27,706
What? You can't just break
into your ex-wife's house.

82
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,408
Yeah, well, you can't have sex
with your couples' therapist

83
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:31,910
Either,
but that didn't stop val.

84
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,145
Yeah, but what if she's home?

85
00:03:33,147 --> 00:03:34,713
She won't be.
She works on saturdays.

86
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,883
At the nice little boutique
she bought with my money.

87
00:03:39,919 --> 00:03:42,387
Well? You going in?

88
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,857
Just got to wait
till this wave passes.

89
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:48,493
Keep talking.

90
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,068
How 'bout this?

91
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:58,370
Oh, yeah, that would
be perfect.

92
00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:01,273
If andi worked in a
tijuana whorehouse.

93
00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:03,609
That. That's the one.

94
00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:04,610
Sir, we'd like

95
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:05,444
To see that please.

96
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:06,845
You have
excellent taste.

97
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,614
Obviously.

98
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:09,982
How much?

99
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:14,553
What, is this priced in yen?

100
00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,521
Perhaps you should try
the jeweler at the mall.

101
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:18,624
They have a fine selection
of key chains and lighters

102
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:21,026
With the name
of your state on it.

103
00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:22,728
Great idea.

104
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,529
We'll grab some jewelry,
head over to brookstone,

105
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:26,531
Sit in the massage chair and
pretend like we're gonna buy it.

106
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:29,668
would you
excuse us a moment?

107
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:32,571
Andi would love
that necklace.
And I'd love

108
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,373
To get it for her,
but I can't afford that.

109
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,308
The price is merely
a suggestion.

110
00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:37,409
It's on the tag.

111
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:38,777
Lots of things are on tags.

112
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,213
"do not tear off mattress."
"caution: Flammable."

113
00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:43,215
"choking hazard
for children under three."

114
00:04:43,217 --> 00:04:45,484
You ignore those,
don't you?

115
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:47,419
No.

116
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,421
And remind me never
to let you babysit.

117
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,390
look, bobby,

118
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:52,991
Why do you think
I'm so successful?

119
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,893
Because you're scary
and you talk fast.

120
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,095
That and because I know
how to get a good deal.

121
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,630
Now, I'm gonna get you
50% off that price.

122
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,732
Just follow my lead
and do what I say.

123
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,134
Okay.

124
00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:04,970
Ah, looks like the missus has
her heart set on this necklace.

125
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:07,072
no, she's not...

126
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,241
Gonna pay this?
You got that right.

127
00:05:09,243 --> 00:05:10,342
Man:
Henry,

128
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:12,010
Can I have the key
to the case?

129
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,111
A moment.

130
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,113
:
What are you doing?

131
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,648
Oh, this is great.
He thinks we're married.

132
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,483
That's gonna help us
in the negotiations.

133
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,486
How?
Because a wife has more
bargaining power than a friend.

134
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:25,524
I can say no, I can walk away,
I can diminish you.

135
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,826
Why do you have
to diminish me?

136
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,995
Oh, that's just a bonus.

137
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:43,141
Wait a minute.
My st. Louis snow globe?

138
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:46,278
Val said my movers lost this.

139
00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:08,233
"help. Woman here. Not val.

140
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:11,636
I'm hiding in her clitoris."

141
00:06:12,638 --> 00:06:16,908
I'm gonna assume
that's an autocorrect thing.

142
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:26,084
Three percent off?
Three percent?

143
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:27,486
This is a good price.

144
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:29,554
I don't agree.
She doesn't agree.

145
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:32,991
Let's face it, you mark
everything up by 200%.
200%.

146
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,494
So you're still
making a fortune.
A fortune.

147
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:38,830
We'll pay half the
suggested retail price and
let you get back to your day.

148
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:44,603
Please, I have this covered.

149
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,271
I'm sorry. I guess
we're just too far apart.

150
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:48,006
I guess so. We won't waste
any more of your time.

151
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,441
Let's go.
We're going.

152
00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:51,343
:
Why are we going?
We're not.

153
00:06:51,345 --> 00:06:53,345
He's going
to call us back in three,

154
00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:56,681
Two, one, one.

155
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:58,016
Mrs. Mcallister!

156
00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:00,685
Okay, I was off by one.

157
00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:03,622
Yeah, I'm so sorry, janie,

158
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:08,026
But, no, I'm not gonna be able
to make it to book club.

159
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:11,963
Oh, stop it. I am not brave.

160
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:15,700
No, no, no, no.
You don't have to do that. Oh...

161
00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:20,138
Okay, a muffin basket
sounds fantastic.

162
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,740
Thank you.

163
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,742
Okay.

164
00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:27,979
Will:
Who is this woman
and why is she in val's house?

165
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,714
God, what a year.

166
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:31,917
Divorce, one bad date
after another

167
00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:34,052
And now I'm trapped
in a closet.

168
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,221
In retrospect, maybe I
should've gone to the bathroom

169
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:37,556
At a gas station.

170
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,724
But they're so gross.

171
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:43,895
This much talking to myself
is just sad.

172
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:45,397
Then again...

173
00:07:45,399 --> 00:07:49,000
I do have a lot
of interesting thoughts.

174
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:50,569
Oh, thank god. She's standing.

175
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:53,939
Go in the next room,
go in the next room.

176
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:56,942
Stay in this room,
stay in this room.

177
00:08:02,181 --> 00:08:03,982
Hi.
Hi.

178
00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:08,086
Woman:
Can I help you?

179
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:10,422
Uh, I'm your neighbor,

180
00:08:10,424 --> 00:08:11,957
Claude.

181
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:14,593
Zer... Sleven... Der.

182
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,161
Uh, I'm a friend
of val's.

183
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:21,099
Yeah, my fiancée and I,
we live right over... There.

184
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:24,269
I'm kelly moore. I just
rented the place from val.
Oh.

185
00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:26,505
Your lawn looks
very dry, and...

186
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,540
I used to help val
with her sprinklers,

187
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:31,443
So we should probably go outside
and check on the, um...

188
00:08:31,445 --> 00:08:33,712
Spritz radius.

189
00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:35,981
The sprinklers are fine.

190
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:38,517
But if you're offering
to help fix stuff,

191
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,452
My smoke alarm is broken.

192
00:08:40,454 --> 00:08:42,454
Or we could go for a walk
around the block.

193
00:08:42,456 --> 00:08:43,722
Because you know what they say.

194
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,624
The best way to avoid dying
in a house fire

195
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,125
Is to not be in that house.

196
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:48,793
So I'll go, you come with me.

197
00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:50,161
you're funny, claude.

198
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,530
I'm pretty tired though.

199
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:52,998
I was operating all night.

200
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,132
Oh, you're a doctor?

201
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,333
Cardiothoracic surgeon.

202
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,302
Will:
Beautiful surgeon.

203
00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:59,704
Like me.

204
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:04,709
Please, mrs. Mcallister.

205
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:07,512
This is not a bazaar
or a flea market

206
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:09,247
Or atlantic city.

207
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,515
For the hundredth time,

208
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:13,151
I can't give you
any price you want.

209
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,819
You can and you will.

210
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:19,591
This is getting a little
intense, my love.

211
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:22,494
I'm just getting started,
pooh bear.

212
00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:24,596
Man has to earn a
living, darling.

213
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,998
not today, sweetheart.

214
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,168
If I go any lower,
I will lose my job.

215
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,070
That's a risk
I'm willing to take.

216
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:35,040
Will you excuse us
a moment, henry.

217
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:36,207
Don't call him by his name.

218
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:38,510
That totally humanizes him.

219
00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:40,211
All right, look, this was
fun at first, all right?

220
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:41,346
But look at him.

221
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,914
He's sweating
through his pants.

222
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,618
We have him right
where we want him.

223
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:47,786
He's in the blender.

224
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:51,423
Now all we have to do
is hit purée.

225
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,024
You're out of control.
I'm taking over.

226
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,961
you're wasting your
time, strawberry shortcake.

227
00:09:58,398 --> 00:09:59,531
You okay?

228
00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:01,933
Not really.

229
00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:03,902
Yeah, think how I feel.

230
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,570
I got to go home
with that every night.

231
00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:08,306
You poor bastard.

232
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,708
Well, she's a ball buster,

233
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,209
All right, and I'm down
to my last ball.

234
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,311
So how about you take
another five percent off,

235
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,613
And we're done?

236
00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:15,880
You go back to the family,

237
00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:17,549
I get the minotaur
back in the maze.

238
00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:19,117
Sound good?

239
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:22,954
In my country, the man with
the red hair is the cursed one.

240
00:10:30,897 --> 00:10:33,131
Hi, honey.
How you holding up?

241
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,133
Mm, hanging in.

242
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,903
Fighting the good fight.

243
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:42,340
Funny, because I just left
dr. Katz's office.

244
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:43,775
You know,
your gynecologist

245
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:46,511
Who is also my gynecologist.

246
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:48,346
I suddenly feel very tired.

247
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:49,814
Perhaps you should go?

248
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,916
I mentioned your bed rest
to dr. Katz.
Mm-hmm.

249
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:54,119
And he seemed very confused.

250
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:59,024
Well, you know, he probably
didn't want to, uh, betray

251
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,593
The, uh, that-that...
The patient,

252
00:11:01,595 --> 00:11:03,528
Uh, doctor... Okay, fine!

253
00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:06,264
I'm not on bed rest!

254
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:08,266
I'm just... Resting

255
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,968
In bed.

256
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,436
Where's charlie?

257
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,271
My mother's
watching him.

258
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:18,276
Until the doctor says it's okay
for me to be back on my feet.

259
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:20,512
Mm-hmm. Okay, so,
let me get this straight.

260
00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:21,680
You are faking

261
00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:23,715
A very serious
medical condition

262
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:26,518
So that people will
bring you take-out

263
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,653
And wait on you
hand and foot?

264
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:30,455
Okay, you know,
I didn't make you feel guilty

265
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:31,690
When you broke your leg.

266
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:34,626
Because I really broke my leg!

267
00:11:34,628 --> 00:11:38,396
Jules, I need this!

268
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,198
Ugh! Okay, fine, scoot over.

269
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,866
what?

270
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:45,904
Oh, gosh, I can't take a second
day of lowell's turtle telethon!

271
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:48,339
And he'd be a monster
if he expected you

272
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:49,641
To leave your dear friend

273
00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:51,142
In her time of need.

274
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,844
Exactly.
Uh-huh.

275
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:57,082
Jules, can you get me a soda
from downstairs?

276
00:11:57,084 --> 00:12:00,318
Can you get me one?

277
00:12:06,158 --> 00:12:07,692
So when I joined doctors
without borders,

278
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:09,260
That was pretty much the
end of my skiing career.

279
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:13,531
Will:
Oh, she's a skier,
a healer, a traveler.

280
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:18,837
God, our kids
would be beautiful.

281
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:20,905
Well, look, the good news is,
this isn't broken.

282
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,073
Just needs a new battery.

283
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,708
Let's go to the store
and get one.

284
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:25,343
Oh, don't need to. I'll just
grab one out of my toolbox.

285
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:26,444
It's in the closet.

286
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:27,545
Lowell:
Oh, no! No, no, no, no.

287
00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:29,347
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

288
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,582
Uh, no. No.

289
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:33,084
You're a surgeon.
Save your hands.

290
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,953
I'll get it.

291
00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:38,690
Uh, I think the old battery

292
00:12:38,692 --> 00:12:39,891
Rolled under
the couch.

293
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:42,193
Do you mind looking?
Oh, sure.

294
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,262
Oh, my god!
What?!

295
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,865
I've got to vacuum
under there more often.

296
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,466
Oh. See, that's great.

297
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:49,801
Start now.
Go get a vacuum.

298
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,971
Okay. The vacuum's
in the closet.

299
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:56,875
Why is everything
in the closet? Uh,

300
00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:59,043
Before you do vacuum,

301
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:01,246
Could you get me
a glass of water?

302
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:03,014
Sure.
Thanks.

303
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:06,217
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

304
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,386
You have to tell her you
have a single friend.
What?

305
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,889
I think I'm in love.
What?!

306
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:15,293
Do you want ice?
Um, six cubes, thanks.

307
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,428
This is the perfect opportunity
for you to introduce us.

308
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,664
What? I'm not comfortable
lying to her like that.

309
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:22,100
You're up to your neck
in lies, zerslevender!

310
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:23,802
Here's your water.

311
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:27,405
Oh, lemon. I need
lemon if that's okay.
Okay.

312
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:31,109
Maybe this is the whole reason I
married val in the first place.

313
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,111
So she could cheat on me
with our couples' therapist,

314
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:34,746
Get this house in
a lopsided divorce,

315
00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:37,215
And eventually rent it
out to my soul mate.

316
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:41,419
Stranger things have happened.

317
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,922
No, they haven't! All right.

318
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:46,124
It's a story we'll
tell our grandkids.

319
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:48,927
It's a story
she'll tell the police.

320
00:13:49,795 --> 00:13:52,197
Ah. Oh, thank you.

321
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:01,306
Well, what did I tell you?

322
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:03,608
I got him to come down
another five percent.

323
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:04,976
Who's the good negotiator now?

324
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:08,947
Ball buster? Minotaur?

325
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,783
Is that how you
really feel about me?

326
00:14:11,785 --> 00:14:13,218
Well, I mean, you know,

327
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:16,120
You're a very specific type
of woman.

328
00:14:16,122 --> 00:14:20,491
I think you, like most men,
are threatened by my strength.

329
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:23,127
Are those... Tears?

330
00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:26,064
Oh, look, she
has feelings.

331
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,900
Here we are--
polished and ready to go.

332
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,969
You know what, bobby? I
don't think you even like me.

333
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,737
I mean, I don't think
you've ever liked me.

334
00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:37,141
So, will that be cash
or credit?

335
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:39,544
Coming in here
has opened my eyes

336
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,145
To how you really
feel about me.

337
00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:43,915
And this whole stupid marriage
was a mistake. I'm done.

338
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:47,352
Wait! You can't just
throw away this marriage!

339
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:49,854
And my commission.

340
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:52,390
What if I give it to you
for half price?

341
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,058
We'll take it.

342
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:59,564
Give the man your
credit card, honey.

343
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:02,834
So, who's the good
negotiator now?

344
00:15:02,836 --> 00:15:04,168
That was an act?

345
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:05,503
You teared up.

346
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,338
Yeah, I put my hand in my
pocket and pulled out a pube.

347
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,440
It works every time.

348
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:12,076
Kelly:
Anyway, thanks for all
your help, claude.

349
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,845
I'm sure I'll see you
around the neighborhood.

350
00:15:13,847 --> 00:15:15,280
Oh, we're about
to move.

351
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:16,247
Out of the country.

352
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,516
Tomorrow.

353
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,184
But take care.

354
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:25,256
Hey, claude!
Glad I caught ya!

355
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,891
Hi, I'm, uh,
claude's friend, will.

356
00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:28,259
Hi.
Hi.

357
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,527
Claude texted me that he was
here helping you

358
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:31,396
With some things and asked me
to come meet him.

359
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:35,199
I don't remember doing that,
but I guess I did!

360
00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:38,369
So, any other chores
need doing?

361
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:41,039
These hands aren't just good
for surgery and ski poles.
Yeah.

362
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,041
Wait-- you're a doctor
and you ski?

363
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:44,542
I'm a doctor and I ski!

364
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,210
What...?

365
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,913
that is so weird.

366
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:50,081
Isn't that weird,
claude?

367
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,951
As sure as my name's claude.

368
00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:59,724
God, bed rest is the gift
that keeps on giving.

369
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,626
Seriously.

370
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:03,895
Oh.
What?

371
00:16:03,897 --> 00:16:05,063
Nothing. I thought
it was a bedsore,

372
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,564
But it's just
some jelly.

373
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,366
Oh.

374
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,939
jules...

375
00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:16,975
Okay, you do realize

376
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,911
You're not actually
on bed rest, right?

377
00:16:19,913 --> 00:16:22,413
I know, but it's
so far. Look.

378
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:26,050
Eh...

379
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:28,186
Thank you.

380
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:30,121
Hello.

381
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:31,823
Hey, how're you feeling?

382
00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:33,858
Eh, you know, hanging in.

383
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:36,928
Trying to be brave.

384
00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:39,764
Jules is here
helping me.

385
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,366
Oh, yay, jules.

386
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,434
Hey, listen, I was gonna
stop by later,

387
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:44,435
Bring you some cronuts.

388
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:46,471
:
She's gonna bring cronuts.

389
00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:48,706
But I can't.

390
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:49,774
What?!

391
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,109
Why not?

392
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:52,844
Wait, wait! Are there
or are there not cronuts?!

393
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,145
Shh-shh-shh-shh.

394
00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:56,681
I'm sorry, but I have to go
to this premiere

395
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,616
Of this new ryan gosling movie.

396
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:00,618
Ryan gosling?
Ryan gosling?

397
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,520
Mm-hmm.
What-what-what...?

398
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,822
Hey, what's going on
with ryan gosling?

399
00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:06,624
Put it on speaker.
Put it on speaker.

400
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:07,892
I have extra tickets.

401
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,527
And there's going
to be this after-party

402
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:10,962
With all this amazing food.

403
00:17:10,964 --> 00:17:12,797
And ryan is gonna be serving
ice cream himself.

404
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:14,132
I would ask you to go,

405
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,968
But you know, you have
to take care of andi.

406
00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:19,037
No, andi can take care
of herself!

407
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:21,439
You can take care
of yourself. I'm coming!

408
00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:23,875
Mm!

409
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:25,977
Mm...

410
00:17:25,979 --> 00:17:27,912
You know, I-I-I think
I'm feeling better.

411
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,547
Maybe I can come, too?

412
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:32,216
No, you lay flat on your back
just like the doctor ordered.

413
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,018
But I really think I can rally.

414
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:36,921
Don't you dare rally!
We'll take pictures. Oh, wait.

415
00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:40,224
You know what?
No cameras allowed. Okay, bye.

416
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:47,031
Okay how about this one?
What's your favorite movie?

417
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,399
Love actually.

418
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,068
This is crazy!

419
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:54,172
I was just telling claude
how much I love that movie!

420
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:55,673
Did I not tell you that?

421
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,675
Hey, it's eerie.

422
00:17:57,677 --> 00:18:00,011
Almost creepy.

423
00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:02,380
Will, I hope this isn't
too forward, but we have

424
00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:05,016
Such a great connection,
I'm just gonna go for it.

425
00:18:05,018 --> 00:18:06,851
Would you like
to go get a drink?

426
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:09,587
Only if it's a margarita
at el cholo.

427
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:12,056
Okay, I am flipping out!

428
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,592
Claude and I were just talking
about el cholo!

429
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:17,361
I mean, it's almost as if

430
00:18:17,363 --> 00:18:19,363
You heard
our entire conversation!

431
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,536
I'm gonna grab my jacket.

432
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:27,105
I'll drive.

433
00:18:27,873 --> 00:18:29,540
:
You're my ride home!

434
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:32,043
You live across
the street, claude.

435
00:18:32,045 --> 00:18:33,911
Will, this is nuts!

436
00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:36,914
What happens when she finds out
I don't live across the street?

437
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:38,449
Or that you're her landlord's
ex-husband?

438
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:42,086
By then we'll be in love
and it won't matter anymore.

439
00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,955
Look, where there's a will,
there's a way.

440
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,156
Oh, come on.

441
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:46,557
We've asked you
to stop saying that!

442
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:49,060
The point is, after a terrible
dating year,

443
00:18:49,062 --> 00:18:51,762
The universe
is finally smiling on me.

444
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:53,731
Ready.

445
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:55,333
Okay.

446
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:01,939
Where's that coming from?

447
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:06,144
I don't hear anything.

448
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,548
No, nothing.

449
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:14,585
Why is there a phone
in my closet?

450
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:18,556
I believe that's
the universe calling.

451
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:24,428
I mean,
we'd already left.

452
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:26,097
Why did she have
to call the police?

453
00:19:26,099 --> 00:19:27,365
I don't know,
breaking and entering,

454
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:31,035
Stalking,
felonious pooping.

455
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:33,271
Honey, I know I shouldn't
give this to you

456
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:34,672
Till after
the baby comes,

457
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,607
But I'm way too excited.

458
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:37,975
So, there you go.

459
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:40,178
Let me guess.
Sample roof tile?

460
00:19:42,614 --> 00:19:46,784
Oh, my goodness,
this is beautiful! Bobby!

461
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:48,119
This is, like,

462
00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:50,788
The greatest gift
you've ever gotten me.

463
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,191
And I'm not lying.

464
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:56,127
Yeah, well, I can't take
all the credit for it.

465
00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:57,562
Yes, you can.

466
00:19:57,564 --> 00:20:00,731
Turns out, your husband is great
at picking out gifts.

467
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:02,867
Yeah, well, my wife inspired me.

468
00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:06,404
Will:
That is nice jewelry.

469
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,472
I should buy myself
more jewelry.

470
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,675
They should have
a different word for jewelry

471
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:11,976
When it's for men.

472
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:15,213
I do have interesting thoughts.

473
00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:24,889
Captioned by
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