1
00:00:01,634 --> 00:00:03,135
Mine curves to
the left when it's...

2
00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:04,136
Penis!

3
00:00:04,138 --> 00:00:05,471
Ding!

4
00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:07,873
Mine smells like death
and sauerkraut...
Grandmother!

5
00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:09,008
Ding!

6
00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:10,209
You get this when
I touch your...

7
00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:11,777
Headache.
Ding ding
ding ding

8
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:13,145
Ding ding ding ding
ding ding ding!

9
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,047
:
Blistering round for

10
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,849
The husband and wife team
andi and bobby,

11
00:00:16,851 --> 00:00:18,717
With 30
correct answers

12
00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:20,019
In 60 seconds.

13
00:00:20,021 --> 00:00:21,286
:
You know, in another life,

14
00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:22,654
I could've made
a great game show host.

15
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:26,225
Well, you certainly have
the giant head for it.

16
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,727
:
It's that kind of anger

17
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,796
That scares off men.

18
00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:32,031
Up next,

19
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:33,132
She's an actress,

20
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,466
He owns a health
food restaurant.

21
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:35,300
They're newly
engaged.

22
00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:38,604
Welcome, jules
and lowell!

23
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,975
It's like watching
two chickens

24
00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:45,144
Hypnotize
each other.

25
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,979
Hey!

26
00:00:46,981 --> 00:00:48,147
Hey! Hey!

27
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,648
Oh, we're up, sorry.
We're up, okay.

28
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:52,117
:
Okay, here comes the ding.

29
00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:56,655
All right, my
favorite food is...

30
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,490
Bean! Curd.

31
00:00:58,492 --> 00:00:59,525
Paste.

32
00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:00,659
Mush. Pass.

33
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:02,728
Okay.

34
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:03,862
All right, okay.

35
00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:04,830
My middle name is...

36
00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:05,998
Perfection.

37
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,099
Just kidding.

38
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,867
Um... Uh, p-pass.

39
00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,369
Okay, pass.

40
00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:12,504
Okay, I have
a family history of...

41
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:13,739
Pass!

42
00:01:14,874 --> 00:01:16,008
Oh, my god.

43
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:17,709
This is
ridiculous.

44
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,611
Aren't you at
all concerned

45
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:20,946
That you two
are engaged

46
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:22,414
And don't know a thing
about each other?

47
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,017
Oh, well, while some
people value history,

48
00:01:25,019 --> 00:01:27,252
We value mystery.

49
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,087
Oh, yeah.

50
00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:29,221
I love him.

51
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:31,723
That's all
I need to know.

52
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:34,126
Oh, that's sweet.

53
00:01:35,128 --> 00:01:36,528
Where's my friend?

54
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:37,696
Oh, there she is.

55
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,599
Hi, I've missed you.

56
00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:57,816
Jules and lowell
are just so happy

57
00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,218
And in love.

58
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:00,419
Of course they are.

59
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:01,987
They barely
know each other.

60
00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:03,222
Mm-hmm.

61
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:04,823
God, I'm exhausted.
Yeah.

62
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,125
oh.

63
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:08,560
I just got
a calendar alert.

64
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:10,729
It's sex Tuesday.

65
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,664
Already?
Mm-hmm.

66
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,099
I didn't
get a...

67
00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:15,734
Oh, there it is.
Mm-hmm.

68
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:18,904
Uh... Do you want to take
each other's pants off?

69
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,272
Nah...

70
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,407
It's too
much work.

71
00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:23,542
Mmm.

72
00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:30,649
Oh, no, it's
the second Tuesday.

73
00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:34,253
All right,
I'm up.

74
00:02:36,956 --> 00:02:38,924
Oh, my god,
I have mommy and me tomorrow.

75
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:40,092
Okay, I'm taking the 10,

76
00:02:40,094 --> 00:02:41,593
'cause the 405
is just ridiculous.

77
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:43,128
And then afterwards,
I have to go to the market

78
00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:44,463
'cause I'm the one who's
supposed to bring the snacks,

79
00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:46,031
And some kid is
allergic to melon?

80
00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:47,766
Who is allergic to melon?

81
00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:53,105
Bobby?

82
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,281
How did he fall asleep?

83
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,683
Did you soak it
in chloroform?

84
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,653
We're tired.

85
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:09,955
We wake up at 6:00 a.M.
With charlie.

86
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:12,024
Okay, well, you gotta
change things up

87
00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:13,859
If you don't want him
snoozing on your kitty

88
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,627
For the rest
of your life.

89
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,828
Yeah, before you know it

90
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:18,363
You're gonna be
scheduling sex.

91
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:20,966
Hey, sorry
we're late.

92
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:21,967
Did we miss
anything?

93
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,802
Please say
it's the food.

94
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,804
All right,
some complimentary

95
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,673
Algae shots
for my friends.

96
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:29,007
Enjoy,

97
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:31,410
And namaste.

98
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:33,845
Namaste.
Thank you.

99
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,714
Thank you.

100
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,816
Okay.
Okay.

101
00:03:40,019 --> 00:03:41,320
All:
Mmm!

102
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,722
Mm-hmm,
mm-hmm.

103
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:45,657
Ugh.

104
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,627
Well, now I know what
a frog's ass tastes like.

105
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,099
It's true,

106
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,200
The food is
repugnant,

107
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:57,069
But the view...

108
00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:58,737
Is unbeatable.

109
00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:03,609
Kate is dating
steve the waiter.

110
00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:04,576
A waiter, huh?

111
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,011
That's not usually
your type.

112
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:08,046
Well, he's also
a waiter

113
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,715
In the bedroom.

114
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:12,084
Was everything to
your satisfaction?

115
00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:15,554
Very much to
my satisfaction.

116
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:18,624
Hope you saved
room for dessert.

117
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,926
I could be tempted.

118
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:35,040
Oh, my.

119
00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:37,442
That's big
enough for two.

120
00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:42,347
Gosh, you are
such a... Dude.

121
00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:44,983
Thank you.

122
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,618
Jules...

123
00:04:47,553 --> 00:04:48,987
Oh, my god.

124
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,922
It's jack,
the guy that I used to...

125
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,157
Jules!

126
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,425
You're back from india.

127
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,661
Hi, jack, listen.
Things have sort of...

128
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:01,933
...Changed for me.

129
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,402
Darling...

130
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:06,238
Why was that man just
tongue-blasting you?

131
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:07,806
I'm her friend jack.

132
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,574
I'm her fiancé, lowell.

133
00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,076
Ooh, drama!

134
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:12,577
Fight, fight!

135
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:15,047
Fight...
No, no, no, no.

136
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:16,848
No...

137
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,016
No fight.

138
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:18,917
I'm sure that
jules can explain.

139
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,652
Okay.

140
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,788
Jack and I used
to model together,

141
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:23,922
And occasionally...

142
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:25,290
Hook up.

143
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,826
And I kind of forgot
to tell him I was engaged.

144
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:32,197
So should I...

145
00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:38,503
I am so, so sorry.

146
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:39,971
Don't worry about it,
all right?

147
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,273
We've all got
bits of baggage.

148
00:05:41,275 --> 00:05:43,508
I mean, you've got...
This guy,

149
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,177
I was engaged
twice before.

150
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,678
So...

151
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:50,682
Oh, no.
Kitchen fire.

152
00:05:52,318 --> 00:05:54,720
I knew it.
I. Knew. It.

153
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:56,455
Bathroom now.

154
00:05:57,957 --> 00:06:00,092
Just the girls.

155
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,635
Jules, look,
we need to know

156
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:12,137
What happened
to those fiancées.

157
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,239
And we are certainly
not gonna find out

158
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,908
From mr. Outback fakehouse.

159
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:18,543
You are totally cynical.

160
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,545
You have a pattern of
rushing into relationships,

161
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,381
And this time,
you could really get burned.

162
00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:24,649
Kate, he will tell me
in his own good time.

163
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:26,151
Seriously, let me handle it.

164
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,386
okay.

165
00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:29,588
All right.
I'll let you handle it.

166
00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:32,758
You're not gonna
let her handle it.
I am not gonna

167
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,092
Let her handle it.

168
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,195
Whoa.
Val texted me.

169
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:38,330
Val texted me, "hi."

170
00:06:38,332 --> 00:06:39,364
She hasn't texted
me in weeks.

171
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:40,665
What should I say?

172
00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:42,200
Tell her you're signing
your divorce papers

173
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,402
And get on
with your life.

174
00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:45,103
I want to put
on a tuxedo

175
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:46,605
And sing to her.

176
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:49,107
Okay, you're
spiraling out.

177
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:51,076
I made a promise
to love her forever,

178
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,511
And I can't just
turn that off.

179
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,045
All right, look,
if you're gonna play,

180
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,247
At least play to win.

181
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:56,782
First thing you do
is you don't respond.

182
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:57,783
I gotta respond.

183
00:06:57,785 --> 00:06:58,750
No.

184
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,185
Because sometimes,
the best response

185
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:01,253
Is no response.

186
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:03,855
See that?

187
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:04,923
"can we talk?"

188
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,024
Type "yes."

189
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,526
"yes" in all caps.

190
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:10,095
With a smiley-face emoticon
so she'll know I'm fun.

191
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,563
I'm typing "no."
no!

192
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,064
Don't type "no."
don't type "no"!

193
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,534
See that? "no."

194
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:17,736
It's the most erotic word
in the english language.

195
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:20,138
At least, that's what
my wife tells me.

196
00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:26,711
:
This is incredible.

197
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:29,581
Val has texted me seven times
since we've left the restaurant.

198
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,716
"want to meet for coffee?"

199
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:32,551
No.

200
00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:33,885
"lunch next week?"

201
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,220
Negative.

202
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:36,721
"can we skype?"

203
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:39,124
As the french would say, non.

204
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:41,960
She's frothing at the mouth.

205
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,696
You were right, man.
It's the power of "no."

206
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:49,100
Bobby...
Does it bother you

207
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:51,603
That our lives have become
completely predictable?

208
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:52,971
What are you
talking about?

209
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,639
I know everything about you,

210
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,174
And you know
everything about me.

211
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,409
Like, for instance, tonight,

212
00:07:57,411 --> 00:07:59,311
We both want to have
a second dinner,

213
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:00,745
Get too bloated to have sex

214
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,581
And then fall asleep
watching tv.

215
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:04,082
Great.
Nuke the burritos.

216
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,150
I'll get the remote.

217
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,852
No, bobby, I'm serious.

218
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:07,686
Think about it.

219
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,321
For the rest
of our lives,

220
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,922
Until we die,

221
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:13,758
There will be no more
shocking revelations,

222
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,494
No more intimate
discoveries...

223
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,195
Nothing new, ever.

224
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:19,431
Wow.
Yeah.

225
00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:21,099
Never really thought
about it that way.

226
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,168
Guess we should
add some variety.

227
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,003
Yes, we should.

228
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,104
I have an idea.

229
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,772
You are not
putting it there.

230
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:31,176
Just trying to throw a little
pineapple on the pizza.

231
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,156
Okay, what happened
with the other fiancées?

232
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:46,291
Oh.

233
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:47,292
Right.

234
00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:49,294
Okay. Um...

235
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:50,495
Well...

236
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:53,131
Look, they were fair
dinkum for a tick,

237
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,634
But you know the saying,
"without come a guster,

238
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:58,270
You're never gonna
find good oil."

239
00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:08,480
Hey. I need
to talk to you.

240
00:09:08,482 --> 00:09:09,548
Oh, lowell.

241
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:10,715
Thought you'd be
at the restaurant.

242
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,317
Yeah, no, I'm just
heading there now.

243
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,318
See you, babe.

244
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,319
See, it's
actually time

245
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:15,854
To drain the tofu.

246
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,590
The curd congeals, and you
need a cheesecloth just to...

247
00:09:20,426 --> 00:09:22,027
Steve the waiter
got me the names

248
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:24,362
Of the other fiancées,
and I tracked them down.

249
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:25,897
Kate!
Don't worry.

250
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,933
I was discreet.

251
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:32,170
Hi. I'm with
the u.S. Census bureau.

252
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,573
The u.S. Census bureau?

253
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:36,841
Why does the census
bureau care about

254
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,710
My relationship
with lowell?

255
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,612
You know,
a lot of people

256
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:42,414
Ask questions
like that.

257
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:45,350
They're called
"terrorists."

258
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:46,952
I wish you
hadn't done that.

259
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:48,753
But since you did,
what'd they say?

260
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,956
He left the day
of our wedding.

261
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,424
I was heartbroken.

262
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:55,293
He banged
my little sister.

263
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:57,429
She and I
still don't talk.

264
00:09:57,431 --> 00:10:00,532
My deepest sympathy.

265
00:10:00,534 --> 00:10:04,135
And now I should
probably count you, so...

266
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,471
One.

267
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,440
Oh, my god.

268
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:09,741
I don't know
anything about him.

269
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,242
Maybe you were right.

270
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:12,877
Maybe I rushed
into this.

271
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:14,312
Aw, honey.

272
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:15,981
I get it.

273
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,550
The smooth abs,
the beachy smell...

274
00:10:18,552 --> 00:10:21,219
You were thinking
with your kitty.

275
00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:25,290
We all do it sometimes.

276
00:10:38,437 --> 00:10:41,506
Hi. In the mood
for a little company?

277
00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:43,942
Why? Do I look
like a hooker to you?

278
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:46,344
No, no. God, no.

279
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:49,648
Well, maybe a little, yes.

280
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,650
Good! That's what
I was going for.

281
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:54,753
My husband and I were trying
to spice things up,

282
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,621
You know, add a few surprises.

283
00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:59,124
You know what'd
really surprise him?
Hmm?

284
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:01,960
If you gave me a handy
for a hundred bucks.

285
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:06,097
How about I give you
a nut crusher for free?

286
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:15,340
Oh.

287
00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:21,146
Hey, there.
Hello.

288
00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:22,981
What's your name?

289
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:26,017
Dominique.

290
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,019
And you are?

291
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,621
John...

292
00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:31,389
Varva-tos.

293
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:36,294
Do you mean john varvatos,
like the clothing designer?

294
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:37,462
Crap. Restart.

295
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:38,930
Okay.

296
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:42,300
Hi.
Hey, there.

297
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:43,802
I'm charlie.

298
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,104
Like our son charlie?

299
00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:50,842
I'm gonna go back
to varvatos, okay?

300
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,010
Okay.

301
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,245
So, uh, dominique...
Mm. Mm-hmm?

302
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:55,480
...Can I buy you a drink?

303
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:58,049
Oh, you can buy more
than a drink.

304
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,685
You know, if you're looking
for a good time.

305
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,053
I'm always looking
for a good time.

306
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,689
Oh. Well, you'll have
to make it quick.

307
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,257
Quick?
Mm-hmm.

308
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,326
It's my specialty.
Oh...

309
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:13,698
Great, 'cause I have to, uh,
pick up my daughter at daycare.

310
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,400
Whoa, whoa.

311
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,401
What-what?

312
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,569
Time-out.
Why?

313
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,104
You're supposed
to be a sexy hooker.

314
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:24,309
I am... So that I can
support my blind daughter.

315
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:29,013
That's not sexy.
That's the opposite of sexy.

316
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:30,849
Okay, but if I
don't have a kid,

317
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:33,685
Then why would I resort
to prostitution?

318
00:12:33,687 --> 00:12:35,920
I don't know.
Because you love sex.

319
00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:44,195
Ah, mrs. Grossbard,

320
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,030
It looks like the...

321
00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:49,801
Val, what are you doing here?
I don't have time to socialize.

322
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,737
This isn't social. It's vaginal.

323
00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:54,873
But I'm not your gynecologist.

324
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:56,875
I decided I needed a change,

325
00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,710
And I thought
you could do it

326
00:12:58,712 --> 00:13:01,212
Since clearly you've moved on.

327
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,114
I have moved on,

328
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:07,352
So I will gladly
examine your vagina.

329
00:13:08,754 --> 00:13:12,957
As a doctor who has moved on.

330
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,926
Quick heads-up:
I removed the carpeting.

331
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:18,797
I am ready for the hardwood
installation.

332
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,134
I will put a note in your file.

333
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:27,238
bobby:
Will, can I talk to you
for a second?

334
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,907
I will be right back.

335
00:13:30,075 --> 00:13:32,577
Did I hear that right?
Is that val in there?
Yeah.

336
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:33,812
And she wants to
have sex with me.

337
00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:34,913
Do you want sex in your office,

338
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,247
Or do you want your wife back?

339
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:37,348
I want my wife back.

340
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,516
Well, then make her earn it.

341
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:39,951
You walk away from this
right now,

342
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:41,286
Or she will never respect you.

343
00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:43,755
You realize
how long it's been since...?

344
00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:47,025
Do it yourself
just like the rest of us.

345
00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:54,666
Oh, lowell.

346
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:55,934
Hi.

347
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:58,102
Just came to pick up some...

348
00:13:59,271 --> 00:14:01,206
...Takeout.
Uh, steve,

349
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:02,941
Could you give us
a moment, mate?

350
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:05,109
I'll go punch out...
And oil up.

351
00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:06,544
Thank you.

352
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:10,014
Jules hasn't spoken to me
since I left for work yesterday.

353
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,549
What did you say to her?

354
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:15,119
Just that you're a lying,
cheating douche from down under

355
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:17,455
And she's lucky she found out.

356
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:18,957
Found out? Found out what?

357
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:21,392
:
Found out what? Found out what?

358
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:25,864
Talk to you ex's green card,
johnny.

359
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:27,966
You investigated me?

360
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:30,969
Yeah, and I know you left
your first fiancée at the altar.

361
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,738
What altar?!
We never even got to the church.

362
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:35,974
What, uh... What do you mean?

363
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,542
We were 17, all right?

364
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,310
I was here
as an exchange student.

365
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:42,146
And we were going to elope,
but her parents found out.

366
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:44,048
Didn't she mention
that we were just kids?

367
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,851
Well, I may have left as soon

368
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:49,420
As I got the damning
information I needed.

369
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:50,722
Right.
But you still slept

370
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:52,757
With the other
fiancée's sister.

371
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:53,992
No, I didn't!

372
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,526
Okay, how about
a little fact check?

373
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:56,928
No, please,
don't do that.

374
00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,263
Oh, it's done.

375
00:14:58,265 --> 00:14:59,597
Hello?

376
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:03,735
Ms. Mcknight, jane austen
from the u.S. Census bureau.

377
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:06,671
Jane austen?
The novelist jane austen?

378
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,072
Yeah, I needed an alias,

379
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:10,675
And I could tell
she wasn't a reader.

380
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,277
How can I help you, ms. Austen?

381
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:14,078
Could you please restate
your reasons

382
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,180
For terminating your nuptials
with lowell?

383
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:17,849
He slept with my little sister.

384
00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:19,517
Aha, right.

385
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:20,885
Thank you.

386
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:22,854
He also slept with my mother
and my grandmother

387
00:15:22,856 --> 00:15:24,689
And my great-grandmother.

388
00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:27,525
He's a time traveler.

389
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:33,097
Okay, I'm gonna go ahead
and hang up now.

390
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,366
She's unwell, okay?
Ah.

391
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,701
She hid it at first,

392
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:38,036
But she went off her meds.

393
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:40,638
And when I found out,
I tried to help her.

394
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,407
She just kept setting fire
to ants,

395
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:44,809
Yelling, "I am your god!"

396
00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:47,712
So...

397
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:50,515
My bad.

398
00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:01,492
I was riding by your house
and the sprinklers got me.

399
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:02,560
Now I'm all wet.

400
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:03,995
Sprinklers aren't on.

401
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:07,198
Then maybe it's just me.

402
00:16:08,934 --> 00:16:10,735
Look, we were together
for 12 years,

403
00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:12,804
And I know we had
our ups and downs,

404
00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:15,306
But I care about you
and I can't just stop!

405
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:18,176
the things I do
for new patients.

406
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,911
Let's go!

407
00:16:19,913 --> 00:16:22,914
So this is what
giving up looks like.

408
00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:25,616
I think it suits us.

409
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:30,588
Whoo!

410
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:34,092
:
Oh, my god!

411
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,994
Why are will and val
in our bed?

412
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:37,762
'cause he did not
listen to my advice.

413
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,630
And you cannot do
that on a foldout

414
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,532
In the guestroom.

415
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:45,970
Oh, come on.
We eat there.

416
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,338
There's no stopping 'em now.

417
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,941
I once tried to do that
with two dogs,

418
00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:52,043
And it didn't end well.

419
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:54,512
Val:
Take it off!

420
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,014
So brazen,
so wrong.

421
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:58,649
God, I feel like we're,
like, back in college.

422
00:16:58,651 --> 00:16:59,784
Totally.

423
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:02,353
Will:
Wow! Hang on.

424
00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:07,325
Wow, now, that's a surprise.

425
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:09,193
Remember when we met
back in my senior year,

426
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,895
We just, like, couldn't
get enough of each other?

427
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,063
We didn't care
who was around?

428
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,231
Yeah, I know.
We just did it.

429
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:15,133
Yeah. Get those
sweatpants off,

430
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:17,335
And make it quick or
we'll be late for class.

431
00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:19,404
Yeah, if we're late,
we might get punished

432
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:21,139
Sexually by that
hot female professor.

433
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:23,307
All right, I'll give
you that one.
Okay.

434
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:27,045
Give it to me, john "varva-tos."

435
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:32,016
I told you not
to get involved.

436
00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:35,153
Yeah, but not in those
exact words.

437
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:37,488
No! In those exact words!

438
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:38,689
You know what?

439
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:40,091
This isn't all
kate's fault.

440
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,026
I have to take some
of the blame for this.

441
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:45,029
Oh, you can have it all.
It's okay.

442
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,364
When you asked me,

443
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:47,999
I should have been
totally honest,

444
00:17:48,001 --> 00:17:50,334
But the truth is,
I didn't go into details

445
00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:53,771
'cause... I was
embarrassed.

446
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:58,042
I chose badly... Twice.

447
00:17:58,044 --> 00:18:00,044
Now, what does
that say about me?

448
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:04,048
You only had to choose right
once, and you did.

449
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:06,250
You chose me.

450
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:13,791
See?

451
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,259
You came through this crisis,

452
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,762
And your love
is stronger for it.

453
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,765
Know what
I'm looking forward to?

454
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:23,167
The wedding.

455
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,771
I'm gonna dance.

456
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,275
Hey...

457
00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:42,553
That was amazing.

458
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:43,721
Yes, it was.

459
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:46,724
so where should
we go for dinner?

460
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:49,827
Huh? Mozza?

461
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,429
Uh-oh.

462
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:54,165
What?

463
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:56,901
It's just-- the idea
of being with you again

464
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,803
Was really exciting,
and I thought I...

465
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,239
But now that we've...
I'm just not.

466
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:03,641
Wait. Hold on,
hold on.

467
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:05,843
You just wanted what
you couldn't have,

468
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,578
And now that... Now that you've
got it, you're done?

469
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:11,349
That makes me sound
like the bad guy here.

470
00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:14,185
You know what?

471
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:20,591
I've been carrying
these around for weeks.

472
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:23,661
I've not been able to
bring myself to sign them.

473
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,966
You like it when I say no?

474
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:31,302
Well, get ready to go nuts.

475
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:34,539
Because here is your divorce.

476
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:39,544
You know, maybe
we should go to mozza.

477
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:41,345
Good-bye, val.

478
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:57,562
"get ready to go nuts
'cause here's your divorce"?

479
00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:01,032
So badass!

480
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,401
We are very proud
of you, will.

481
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:06,137
You guys have been in here
the whole time?

482
00:20:06,139 --> 00:20:07,905
Yeah! For the moaning
and the squealing.

483
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:10,875
And that part where it sounded
like someone was slapping

484
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,643
A fish against
a snare drum.

485
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:13,978
Hey, quick question.

486
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:16,881
Which one of you cried
during the big finish?
Yeah.

487
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,716
Okay, what are the chances

488
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,252
That you won't tell anyone
about the crying?

489
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:22,820
Slim to none.

490
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:24,722
Already sent
a group text.

491
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,731
Hey.

492
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,433
Last night was amazing.

493
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:37,068
And I know
we've had a bit

494
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,336
Of a dry spell lately.
Mm.

495
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:39,604
I mean,
besides last night,

496
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:41,672
I can't even remember
the last time we...

497
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:43,841
Exactly six weeks.

498
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,676
That's... Wow, okay.
Yeah.

499
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,845
Anyway, I think
our little college fun

500
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,213
Symbolizes a new beginning.

501
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:52,683
Hmm.
One full of passion,
romance and sexual...

502
00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:54,085
I'm pregnant.

503
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:56,754
Surprise.

504
00:20:57,589 --> 00:20:58,856
Oh, my god!

505
00:20:58,858 --> 00:20:59,857
I know.

506
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,459
Oh, my god!

507
00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:03,194
I have one more surprise.

508
00:21:03,196 --> 00:21:05,429
It's john varvatos's baby.
Oh, boy.

509
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:08,299
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