1
00:00:01,601 --> 00:00:02,868
What a racket.

2
00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:04,870
They charge, like,
a bazillion dollars

3
00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:06,872
For a dress you wear once.

4
00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:08,340
You want one, don't you?

5
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:11,810
Totally. I have
such a bridal boner right now.

6
00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:13,946
Jules:
Okay, you guys ready?
I'm coming out.

7
00:00:13,948 --> 00:00:15,514
yay.

8
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:18,751
Oh.
Oh.

9
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:23,122
Why do you have
to have everything?

10
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,690
Seriously,
you're gorgeous.

11
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:25,991
If I didn't
love you,

12
00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:27,993
I would hate you
right now.

13
00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:30,562
you guys,
I think this is the one.

14
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:31,897
I think it is.

15
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:36,201
You ladies have
so much to celebrate.

16
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,836
You're getting married,

17
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:40,239
You're having a baby,
and you...

18
00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:43,275
You're the supportive friend.

19
00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:46,145
You know, in some cultures,
a woman your age

20
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:49,314
Would be put on an ice floe
and pushed out to sea.

21
00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:51,817
And I have plenty to celebrate.

22
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:54,153
I have a date
with a very hot guy.

23
00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:55,687
Will's trainer?
Yup.

24
00:00:55,689 --> 00:01:00,459
It's our third date, so I
will be getting bench-pressed.

25
00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,328
If you know what I mean.

26
00:01:10,036 --> 00:01:13,639
Worst sex of my life!

27
00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:16,608
Ugh. Dead eyes,
wet kisser,

28
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,177
Pokey fingers.

29
00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:20,279
It was like a kid
playing "chopsticks"

30
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:22,614
On the piano, except
the piano was my va...

31
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,516
Both:
We get it!

32
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,251
I'm surprised
zac was so bad in bed.

33
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,719
He's such a great trainer,

34
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:29,521
You'd think, you know,
it would translate somehow.

35
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:33,125
Have you ever had a jack russell
terrier hump your leg?

36
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:36,528
This was faster
and more humiliating.

37
00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:41,266
¶ ¶

38
00:01:50,910 --> 00:01:52,611
Oh, what a good hug.

39
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,746
Hey, charlie.
Hi, charlie.

40
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,048
Hi, mom. How'd it go?

41
00:01:56,050 --> 00:01:58,050
Oh, we had a wonderful day
together.

42
00:01:58,052 --> 00:01:59,051
Didn't we, charlie?

43
00:01:59,053 --> 00:02:01,453
"but the house is so cold.

44
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:04,990
Gran-gran's worried I could
get the sneezie-weezies."

45
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:07,559
Temperature's fine, barbara.

46
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:11,597
"I guess daddy's pwide is more
important than my health."

47
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:13,132
Here we go.
Come on.

48
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:14,466
Let's go see
the giraffe.

49
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,301
Thank you so much
for your time, mom.

50
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:17,302
We really appreciate it.

51
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,904
Oh, it's my pleasure, honey.

52
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:22,074
You know, I just talked
to diane shupak.

53
00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:23,942
Her son is going through
a divorce.

54
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:25,611
He's a judge.
Mom,

55
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:29,181
For the hundredth time:
I am married to bobby.

56
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,750
That's why pencils
have erasers.

57
00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:36,555
Okay, bye.

58
00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:40,025
God, she's so annoying.

59
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:41,260
Seriously.

60
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:42,594
Don't talk about my mom
like that.

61
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,363
You always say
my mom's annoying.

62
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:45,864
That's 'cause
she is annoying.

63
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:48,367
All right, look, I know
this is a sensitive subject,

64
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,435
But maybe it's time
we hire someone to help us.

65
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:52,604
With the new baby coming,
it might be nice to have

66
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,673
A little extra help.
Well, if we need the help,

67
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,542
My mom said that she
could come every day.

68
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:59,745
And here I thought being burned
alive was my biggest fear.

69
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:03,682
Look, I know that my mom
isn't perfect...

70
00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:07,886
...But she is trustworthy

71
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:09,855
And reliable and free.

72
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:10,989
No, she's not free.

73
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:12,224
She comes with a price.

74
00:03:12,226 --> 00:03:15,194
A big, passive-aggwessive pwice.

75
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:16,828
Bobby, I'm, like,
insanely pregnant.

76
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:18,463
I-I just, I don't
have the energy

77
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:19,998
For interviews
and call references.

78
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,200
All right, well, look,

79
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:22,634
If I did all the work,
would you at least

80
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,336
Be open to sitting down
with somebody?

81
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:27,239
But that means that one of us
needs to talk to her.

82
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:29,942
"one of us" is never you.

83
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,378
So the truth is, andi and I
feel like

84
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,880
We've become
too reliant on you.

85
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:39,017
So, as much as
it pains me to say it,

86
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,886
We're gonna hire a nanny.

87
00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:47,359
Anyhoo, uh...

88
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:49,161
This is great news
for you, too,

89
00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:50,429
Because now
you'll have more time

90
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,164
To pursue your many interests,

91
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:54,199
Like sending meals back
at restaurants

92
00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:56,568
And tracking
where drafts come from.

93
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:02,241
You're an angry,
angry ginger-man.

94
00:04:04,877 --> 00:04:07,246
And I'm free.

95
00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:14,019
: So, uh...
How much longer

96
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:16,188
Do you want me to do
this warm-up run for?

97
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:18,123
It-it's been 30 minutes.

98
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:22,394
30 minutes, 60 minutes--
what does it matter?

99
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:24,730
It matters
if I have a heart attack.

100
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:29,368
I'm sorry, I just haven't
been myself

101
00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:30,869
Since I got kate's text.

102
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:33,705
I don't know, maybe I'm
reading too much into it.

103
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,207
Let me get your opinion.

104
00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:37,943
"it's over. Best of luck."

105
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,712
I'm sorry, will.

106
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,948
I don't really feel up
to finishing our session.

107
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:45,417
Zac, come on, I need you, man.

108
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,452
I'm-I'm back
in the dating world again.

109
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:50,055
You should see the guys
I'm competing with.

110
00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:53,558
Dude, you're a friend;
you got to help me out here.

111
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,727
I'm spiraling.

112
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:01,800
My bad.

113
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,069
All right, if I help you out
with this whole kate thing,

114
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,570
Will you be able
to train me again?

115
00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:06,905
Dude, I'll train you so hard,

116
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:09,608
They'll be able to see
your muscles from space.

117
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:14,413
Well, then you, my friend,
are gonna have to, uh...

118
00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:16,348
Change some things up
in the bedroom.

119
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:19,284
I didn't hear
anyone complaining.

120
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:21,053
Well, I did.

121
00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:23,655
Kate.
Oh, man!

122
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,424
That's the worst person
you could have said.

123
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:27,926
Yeah, listen, hey,
don't worry about it, man.

124
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,494
I know women.

125
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:33,665
Right. They say no one knows
women better than a gay man.

126
00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:36,768
I'm not gay.

127
00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:37,936
I understand.

128
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,938
Whenever you're ready, bro.

129
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,773
:
No, I'm not gay.

130
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:43,108
I mean, I'm stylish,

131
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:45,944
But that doesn't
necessarily mean I...

132
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,213
You know, never mind.

133
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,315
The point is,
I'm also a gynecologist.

134
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:53,518
I literally have a phd
in vagina.

135
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,355
You willing to listen and learn?

136
00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:57,856
Absolutely.
When do we start?

137
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,692
Right now. You ever play
"chopsticks" on the piano?

138
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:01,526
Of course.

139
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,029
Don't ever do it again.

140
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:08,900
Bobby:
Well, I did it!

141
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,369
After a day

142
00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,471
Of extensive interviews,
I found us a perfect nanny.

143
00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:13,839
Mm.
Degree in child
development,

144
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:16,174
Grad student at ucla,
tons of experience.

145
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,843
Fantastic! When do I get
to meet her?

146
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:19,544
How about now? I mean,
charlie loved her so much,

147
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:20,879
He wouldn't let her
leave the interview.

148
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,814
Oh.
Emma?

149
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,451
Hi.

150
00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:31,022
I'm emma, but all my friends
call me emmie.

151
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,924
Oh. Are those your friends?

152
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:35,260
Ah.

153
00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:37,028
Oh, gosh.

154
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,597
Charlie undid my button.

155
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:41,566
Oh. Charlie's
first button!

156
00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:51,743
Don't tell me you haven't
ordered the wedding dress yet.

157
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:54,413
No, not yet. I love it,
but it's so expensive,

158
00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:55,714
So I'm still thinking about it.

159
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,215
Okay, well,
think no more,

160
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:58,717
Because I have
the perfect dress.

161
00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:00,552
Mom sent it
from australia.

162
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,421
Oh.
This dress has been in
our family for years.

163
00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:05,257
Darling, you can be a part
of the grand tradition.

164
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:07,025
Oh, this is so fun!

165
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,894
I'm gonna try this on.
Do it.

166
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,863
Ah, kate,
I need a favor.

167
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,231
No.

168
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,200
You don't even know
what I'm gonna ask.

169
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:19,304
I can tell by your spastic
sprint and your needy stare.

170
00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:21,540
I'm not interested.

171
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:24,476
Listen, I got to have
my trainer back,

172
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,278
And he can't work
because of you.

173
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,580
Well, I can't work
because of him.

174
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:31,216
Do you know
that he licked his finger

175
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:34,152
And traced it around my mouth?

176
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:38,056
Like some kind
of saliva lip gloss.

177
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:41,393
I have to live with that.

178
00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:43,161
Just give him one more chance.

179
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,830
He spit-glossed me, will!

180
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,231
Fine, but, look,

181
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:47,732
The truth is...

182
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:49,601
Wait. I-I can't tell you that.

183
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,703
I'd be... I'd be
betraying his confidence.

184
00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:54,840
Please, feel free, betray.

185
00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:56,308
Okay.

186
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,943
But, listen, you promise
not to say anything?

187
00:07:57,945 --> 00:08:00,912
He told me the reason he was
so nervous and off his game is

188
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:04,082
'cause he thinks
you're just so incredibly hot.

189
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,984
That makes sense. Go on.

190
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:09,488
Yeah, so, you know,
he just got all up in his head.

191
00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:11,423
I really think you should
give him another chance.

192
00:08:11,425 --> 00:08:15,727
Well, he is
packing a python.

193
00:08:18,364 --> 00:08:20,365
Hey. Did you find
a nanny?

194
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,100
Yes.
No.

195
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,702
Let me ask you guys.

196
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,104
Should we hire
a super hot nanny?

197
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,139
Definitely not.
No!
Well, well, hold on!

198
00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:31,877
Are you suggesting that we deny
this poor woman a job

199
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:34,779
In the house that I live in
just because she's hot?

200
00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:36,848
How can you even
be considering this?

201
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:40,185
It's like asking for trouble,
and then paying for it.

202
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,521
This is outrageous.

203
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:44,022
"should we hire a hot nanny?"

204
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,157
even the question is offensive.

205
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:47,459
If you replaced

206
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:48,994
The word "hot"
with "black" or "jewish,"

207
00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:51,530
We would not be having
this conversation.

208
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:53,498
Come on, will.

209
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,634
Oh, it's fine for the hots
to model our swimsuits,

210
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:58,837
But god forbid we let them
care for our children.

211
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:00,639
Look, I don't care what
she looks like, all right?

212
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,541
I just want to hire the
best person for the job.

213
00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,242
And out of all the
people that I met,

214
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,478
Emmie by far had the
best credentials.

215
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,647
Did she have
really big credentials?

216
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:12,350
Okay, so if I find someone
with better credentials,

217
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:16,421
Who doesn't look like "emmie,"
you'll be just as excited?

218
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:17,756
Absolutely.

219
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,257
No.

220
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,559
Jules:
All right.

221
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,961
Here I come.

222
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,335
Aw, darling, spectacular.

223
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:31,670
What a vision!

224
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:33,605
I got to call my mum!

225
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:37,342
What is happening?

226
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:39,277
It's lowell's
great-grandmother's

227
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:40,278
Wedding dress.

228
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,914
That she was
buried in?

229
00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:49,354
:
Hey!

230
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:50,522
How's it going, buddy?

231
00:09:50,524 --> 00:09:53,458
:
Hey, man, how are you?

232
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:54,726
Charlie?

233
00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:56,628
Hi.

234
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,363
Hi. Who are you?

235
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,065
This is our new nanny, sam.

236
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,032
Bobby:
Oh.

237
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,134
Hi, sam.
Hey.

238
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:05,036
Nice to meet you.

239
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,938
Excuse me.

240
00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:10,609
Word, please?

241
00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:14,212
are you serious?

242
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,480
You said
if I found someone

243
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:16,948
With better credentials,
I should hire him.

244
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,284
Him? I never said
anything about a him.

245
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,719
Where'd you find
this guy anyway?

246
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:22,721
Spraying cologne
at the beverly center?

247
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:25,056
Actually,
he has a master's

248
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,726
In child development, and he's
the oldest of seven siblings,

249
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,160
So he has plenty of experience.
He's perfect.

250
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,496
Yeah, well, I can see
why you think he's perfect.

251
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,398
Oh, please. I just want
what's best for our son.

252
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,167
Who wants to meet
the tickle monster?

253
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,502
I do!

254
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:40,238
I mean, charlie does.

255
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,107
Sam:
Tickle, tickle, tickle.

256
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:43,908
Tickle, tickle...

257
00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:48,747
I mean, it is a whole new world
having a nanny.

258
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:51,149
I actually had time
to take a shower this morning.

259
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:54,252
You know, you do look
quite nice, actually.

260
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:55,320
Mm.

261
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:56,755
She's dressing up for the nanny.

262
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:59,424
:
What are you even...

263
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:02,260
That's crazy.

264
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:03,762
It's great.

265
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:06,698
You shaved your legs for
the first time in six months.

266
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,769
I wish it were for me,
but I'll take what I can get.

267
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:12,871
Wow, seven years
of marriage,

268
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:16,107
And the romance is
still white-hot.

269
00:11:17,476 --> 00:11:18,810
Hello, hello.

270
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,612
So, gave zac another chance,

271
00:11:20,614 --> 00:11:22,714
And guess how many orgasms
he gave me.

272
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:23,815
I don't like this game.

273
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:25,316
Three. The best of my life.

274
00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:27,485
I didn't have to teach him
a thing. It's so weird.

275
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,454
He was completely different
this time.

276
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:33,224
What?

277
00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:34,392
Uh...

278
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,027
You're welcome.

279
00:11:37,663 --> 00:11:39,297
What do you mean?

280
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:41,800
Well, I gave zac a few tips
during our training session.

281
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,468
So, uh,
by the transitive property,

282
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:46,371
It is I who rocked your world.

283
00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:50,809
I who gave you
all those orgasms.

284
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,477
How-how is that
even possible?

285
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:54,312
It's not. He didn't.

286
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,413
Oh, but I did.

287
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:56,648
I pulled the strings.

288
00:11:56,650 --> 00:11:58,049
I am the puppet master.

289
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,551
His extremities
were but a mere

290
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:00,919
Extension of my will.

291
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:03,321
Thrust, thrust,
turn around, thrust.

292
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,590
Oh, stop it!

293
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:07,826
It is not true.
You are not good in bed.

294
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,260
I'm great in bed.
Please.

295
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:11,596
I have seen you dance,
I've seen you eat,

296
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:12,897
I've watched you rollerblade.

297
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,566
You are bad at everything.

298
00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:15,934
Bobby:
Look, in will's defense,

299
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,502
The man is a gynecologist.

300
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:20,572
I mean, most people spend
eight hours a day in a cubicle.

301
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:22,607
Our cubicle is a vagina.

302
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:23,842
Andi:
It's true.

303
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,343
He has amazing skills.

304
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:26,444
I almost feel bad

305
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,113
That he doesn't get to use 'em,

306
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:30,582
But then I just have a snack
and forget all about that.

307
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:33,017
I'm sorry,
but there is no way

308
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:35,854
Mere words could achieve
that kind of result.

309
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:39,357
You think you pep-talked my eyes
into the back of my head?

310
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:40,625
I think I did.

311
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:41,793
I know you didn't.

312
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:43,261
I'm sure I did.

313
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,429
I'm positive you didn't.

314
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:45,530
Let's just agree to disagree.

315
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,532
I disagree and will not agree.

316
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:48,867
:
Careful.

317
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:50,602
What the puppet master giveth,

318
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:53,304
The puppet master
can taketh away.

319
00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:57,142
God, all of this talk
about sex is making me...

320
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,143
Hungry?

321
00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,445
You just get me.

322
00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:06,651
I don't understand.

323
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:10,054
It's like you want me to do the
opposite of what I did before.

324
00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:11,556
Exactly.

325
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,892
See, kate craves variety.

326
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,160
Sex with her has to be

327
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:16,928
A constantly moving
stream of feelings

328
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:19,798
And sensations and colors.

329
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,399
That's weird,
'cause it seemed like

330
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,668
She just wanted it really hard.

331
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:27,272
Right. So now...
It must be soft.

332
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:28,573
All right.

333
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:31,075
Here's a hot-ass move.

334
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:34,312
Try tracing your fingers
around her face slowly

335
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:37,182
In the shape of a heart.

336
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,554
This might be why
you think I'm gay.

337
00:13:50,095 --> 00:13:53,464
You can't seriously
wear that gothic nightmare

338
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:55,834
Of a dress.

339
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,769
The other one
was so perfect.

340
00:13:57,771 --> 00:14:01,372
Well, I-I care more about
lowell than any dress.

341
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:03,441
Why?

342
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:04,876
Because I love him.

343
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:06,644
And this dress is
a family tradition,

344
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,179
So I'm going
to make it work.

345
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,648
It just needs
to be altered...

346
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:12,317
And dry-cleaned.

347
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,586
And burned.

348
00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:20,625
Where are you going?

349
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:23,328
Nowhere.

350
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:26,965
Why are you dressed
like tina turner?

351
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,967
What are you talking about?

352
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,668
These are my normal...

353
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:34,105
Around-the-house,
hangout... Clothes.

354
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:38,476
Ah...
Ah...

355
00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:45,683
It was you.

356
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:48,486
Whatever do you mean?

357
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,488
You undid zac.

358
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,757
Did I?

359
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:55,226
Soft forehead kisses?

360
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,761
Meaningful stares?

361
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:59,564
He face-hearted me, will.

362
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:04,335
It took me half an hour
to convince him to go back

363
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:05,603
To what he did before.

364
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:09,374
:
The puppet master tooketh away.

365
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:13,478
Keep your hand out
of my puppet, will!

366
00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:23,187
All right,
ready for bath time?

367
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:24,455
Rub a dub dub.

368
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:28,259
I'll see you guys up there.

369
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,628
My feet. My back.

370
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,864
My feet.
My back.

371
00:15:32,866 --> 00:15:35,400
Almost forgot
splashy duck.

372
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:37,502
Oh, no. Not splashy duck.

373
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,109
Barbara?

374
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,979
I'm just leaving
a little gift for charlie.

375
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:49,113
You want to come in?

376
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,548
Oh, I'd love to, robert.

377
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,917
But I think it would be
less painful for the child

378
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:58,589
If you let the memory of me
just fade away.

379
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,091
But you left him a gift.

380
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:01,392
I didn't sign the card.

381
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:04,162
Just tell him
it's from a friend.

382
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:05,897
Let's cut to
the chase, barbara.

383
00:16:05,899 --> 00:16:07,332
I mean, you're
charlie's grandmother.

384
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,067
You want to see charlie,
that's great.

385
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:10,501
But I don't have to put up

386
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,503
With your passive-
aggressiveness anymore.

387
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:13,972
Because we don't need you.

388
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:16,307
Our new nanny
is fantastic.

389
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,242
He takes amazing
care of charlie,

390
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:20,311
He doesn't complain
about the temperature,

391
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,981
And he doesn't
stop up the toilet.

392
00:16:23,849 --> 00:16:25,083
That's right, barbara.

393
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:27,518
:
I know.

394
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,490
Yeah.

395
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:39,130
You ever do something you've
been waiting forever to do?

396
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,999
We need to fire sam.

397
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,800
What?
Yeah.

398
00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:45,503
Do you realize how exhausting it
is to look like this every day?

399
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,105
So don't look like this.

400
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,107
I can't walk around in front of
him like I do in front of you.

401
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,842
It's embarrassing.
So let me
get this straight.

402
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:52,343
Because of your
hormonal insanity,

403
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,679
We have to get rid
of a perfectly good nanny?

404
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,314
And you know who we need?

405
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:58,616
Emmie?

406
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:02,186
The devil we know is better
than the devil we don't.

407
00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:05,757
The devil.

408
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,694
I miss my mother, bobby.

409
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:12,163
So, I guess
what I'm trying to say

410
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:15,700
Is that I need you
to come back.

411
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:21,439
I take no pleasure in
seeing you like this.

412
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:26,310
No. That's not you at all.

413
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:30,214
But humility is a
good color on you.

414
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,216
Do you want to come back or not?

415
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:37,422
The thermostat goes
no lower than 73,

416
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:42,827
Thanksgiving's at my house
for the next three years,

417
00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:45,363
And you're sending
me on a cruise.

418
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:49,667
I do like the thought of you
in the middle of an ocean.

419
00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:57,608
So you're never gonna talk to
will about our sex life again.

420
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,110
Never.
From now on,

421
00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:00,945
It's just the two of us.

422
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:02,613
The two of us.

423
00:18:03,348 --> 00:18:04,882
Will:
Don't forget about me.

424
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:07,685
You seem to be
enjoying yourself.

425
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:08,719
No!

426
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,221
What's wrong?

427
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:11,689
Nothing.

428
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,691
Sorry. As you were.

429
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,364
Will: Look at that;
we're about to have sex.

430
00:18:21,066 --> 00:18:22,433
You like my tight little body?

431
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,401
Stop it!

432
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:24,902
Ah, stop it!

433
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,871
Oh, I'm sorry.
I can't do this.

434
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:29,707
It's not you. It's him!

435
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:31,375
Ugh!

436
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:39,784
Bobby:
All right, we better get going.

437
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,919
You're my ride, so...
All right, well,
I'd better go, too.

438
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,488
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no!

439
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:44,722
You can't go.

440
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:46,891
You haven't seen jules
in her wedding attire yet.

441
00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:48,326
The accessories
have arrived!

442
00:18:50,063 --> 00:18:52,797
I didn't know there
were accessories.

443
00:18:57,002 --> 00:18:58,402
I don't know, jules.

444
00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:00,505
Feel like you're showing
a little too much ankle.

445
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:01,706
Mm.

446
00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:07,311
Tell me, was it scary
when the titanic went down?

447
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:12,817
You look like
miss tuberculosis 1853.

448
00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:15,419
Guys, it's not funny.

449
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:18,623
I am a part of the great
peddit family tradition.

450
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,191
Yes, you are.

451
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:23,027
The great
peddit family tradition...

452
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:25,163
Of pranking the bride.

453
00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:28,933
What?

454
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:30,768
It's just a joke!

455
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,803
A joke?

456
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:36,007
Wow. What a douche move.

457
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,675
I love it.

458
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:40,011
All right,
you got me.

459
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:42,146
Welcome to
the family, man.

460
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:44,315
I thought I became a part
of the family a while ago.

461
00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:46,584
No.
Nope,
just now.
Yeah.

462
00:19:50,389 --> 00:19:53,858
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