1 00:00:14,814 --> 00:00:16,111 Hello. Back already? 2 00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:20,616 That episode is what we refer to as a cliffhanger. 3 00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:24,689 To find out who Cartman's father was, we told viewers to tune in four weeks later. 4 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:28,294 Four weeks later was April Fools' and we thought it would be fun... 5 00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:32,420 ...to not air the cliffhanger payoff, but air something irrelevant. 6 00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:37,002 - A full Terrance and Phillip episode. - The viewers responded splendidly. 7 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:40,162 We saved their comments on our answering machine. 8 00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:44,606 I'm gonna cut off your testicles. I'm never watching South Park again! 9 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:48,942 Think you're funny not telling us who Cartman's father is? I hope you die. 10 00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:54,280 I can't go on not knowing who Cartman's father is. I just can't. I can't go- 11 00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:59,016 - Now can I have my medication? - Dude, do the dog dance some more. 12 00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:01,684 Yeah. Beep like a jeep. 13 00:01:01,861 --> 00:01:03,795 Do puffer fish. 14 00:01:03,963 --> 00:01:05,453 I'll swim. Puffer fish. 15 00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:08,829 You want your medicine? Here. Go get it. 16 00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:12,529 Oh, no. You guys are jerks. 17 00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:14,740 - Hello. - What a grump. 18 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,705 Jeez, Mr. Grumpy Pants. 19 00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:19,640 After the Terrance and Phillip episode... 20 00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:22,873 ...we aired the episode you're about to see. 21 00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:27,008 It's called "Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut." 22 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:29,712 Previously on South Park: 23 00:01:29,889 --> 00:01:32,722 Sobriety fills the laboratory as the men of South Park... 24 00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:35,417 ...gather to find out which one fathered this boy. 25 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,654 Who is Eric Cartman's father? 26 00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:40,857 At the end of tonight's episode, you will know. 27 00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:13,890 Cartman's Mom is Still A Dirty Slut 28 00:02:15,935 --> 00:02:17,197 Now, to continue. 29 00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:23,775 - The father is someone in this room. - This is the longest minute of my life. 30 00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:25,035 Hey, Kenny. 31 00:02:25,211 --> 00:02:28,237 Gentlemen, the father is... 32 00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:33,044 - Hey, what the hell's going on? - It's a power outage. 33 00:02:34,854 --> 00:02:36,082 Is everybody okay? 34 00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:39,089 - That sounded like a gunshot. - Oh, my God! Look! 35 00:02:40,593 --> 00:02:42,652 Oh, my God! They killed Mephisto. 36 00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:45,797 - You bastards! - Mephisto's been shot! 37 00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:49,230 - Is he dead? - Hey, this window is shot out too. 38 00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:51,996 That means the killer was not in this room. 39 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,800 - Then who was it? - Who shot Mephisto? 40 00:02:54,974 --> 00:02:58,000 Was it the school counselor? Was it Ms. Crabtree? 41 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,976 - Or was it-? - I didn't find out who my father was! 42 00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:05,174 - Or was it Mrs. Broflovski? - Wait, he's breathing. He's not dead. 43 00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:08,115 - Who's my father? - We have to get him to the hospital. 44 00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:12,122 - You've got to be kidding me! - Come on, children. 45 00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:16,729 That poor kid. It must be hell for him going through all this. 46 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:22,468 There's a murderer in South Park! We have to find who it is before they kill again! 47 00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:24,967 God only knows who they'll kill next. 48 00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:26,730 Who will they kill next? 49 00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:30,307 Will it be Jimbo? Barbrady? The Denver Broncos? 50 00:03:32,111 --> 00:03:34,341 - Is he awake yet? - He's bleeding bad. 51 00:03:34,514 --> 00:03:37,449 Don't let him bleed on my Meredith Baxter Birney towel! 52 00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:41,986 - A Meredith Baxter Birney towel? - I was with Meredith Baxter Birney in this car. 53 00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:46,489 Afterwards we used that towel to- Wait, why am I telling you this? 54 00:03:46,659 --> 00:03:49,856 - Could you pull over? - We have to get to the hospital. 55 00:03:50,029 --> 00:03:52,589 I have to get out. I can't stand hospitals. 56 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:56,528 We gotta drop Mephisto off. Then we can get out of there. 57 00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:59,570 It's really snowing! I hope they don't close the roads. 58 00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:01,673 They can't. Mephisto can't die. 59 00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:03,672 Maybe it's better you don't know who your father is. 60 00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:06,744 No way. I can't stand to leave things unfinished. 61 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:10,405 Like when you hear the first part of the song "Come Sail Away." 62 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,983 If I hear that, I have to finish it. 63 00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:16,918 - Really? - Yeah, I can't do anything until it's done. 64 00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:22,617 No, don't! 65 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,288 Whoa, dude. 66 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,991 What are we gonna do, Mayor? A killer is on the loose. 67 00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:07,606 We can't even leave our homes for fear of our children's safety! 68 00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:10,868 Where are our children? 69 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:15,913 Officer Barbrady, let's pretend we had a competent law enforcer in this town. 70 00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,879 What would he do? 71 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,645 That's a good question, Mayor. 72 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:24,051 Let me get right on that with thinking. 73 00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,483 Mayor, Mayor! 74 00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:29,355 - The press is here. - My name is Sid Greenfield. 75 00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:32,362 I'm the director from I.A. for America's Most Wanted. 76 00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:36,935 - You certainly made it here quickly. - We're desperate for stories. 77 00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:40,095 - And this one is so compelling. - Really? 78 00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:44,004 Sure, this story has everything. People. Furniture. Talking. 79 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:47,635 - It's a real American story. - I thought of something. 80 00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:50,282 No, wait, that's subtraction. 81 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:53,476 Mr. Director-person, what do you want to do? 82 00:05:53,653 --> 00:05:58,056 - Mayor, shouldn't we be focusing-? - We want to do a re-creation for our show. 83 00:05:58,224 --> 00:06:03,491 Then we'll flash a number people can call if they have information about the shooter. 84 00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:06,427 That's it. You win, we win. America wins. 85 00:06:06,599 --> 00:06:09,659 This won't make our town look dangerous? 86 00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:14,796 America's Most Wanted is not about violence, it's about family. 87 00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:18,705 - It is? - Well, in that case, I guess it's okay. 88 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:22,837 We'll get started with auditions. What part should we cast first? 89 00:06:23,015 --> 00:06:25,313 Who will the director cast first? 90 00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:29,046 Will it be Mr. Garrison? Officer Barbrady? Chef? 91 00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:33,591 - I want an abortion. - We can do that. 92 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,320 This must be a difficult time, Mrs...? 93 00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:38,862 Cartman. It's such a hard decision... 94 00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:43,331 ...but I don't feel like I can raise a child in this screwy world. 95 00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:47,633 If you don't feel fit to raise a child, an abortion is the answer. 96 00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:52,369 - Do you know the time of conception? - About eight years ago. 97 00:06:53,846 --> 00:06:57,304 - I see, so the fetus is...? - 8 years old. 98 00:06:57,483 --> 00:07:01,510 Eight years old is a little late to be considering abortion. 99 00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:02,676 Really? 100 00:07:02,855 --> 00:07:06,222 Yes, this is what we refer to as the 40th trimester. 101 00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:11,659 - But I just don't think I'm a fit mother. - We prefer to abort babies earlier on. 102 00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:14,959 There's a law against abortions after the second trimester. 103 00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:19,594 Well, I think you need to keep your laws off of my body! 104 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:24,106 If you want to change the law you'll have to speak with your congressman. 105 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:27,872 Well, that's exactly what I intend to do. Good day! 106 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:33,142 - Come on, we gotta find a doctor. - I can't do it. 107 00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:36,652 - Hospitals aren't that bad. - Yeah, stop being a wuss. 108 00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:39,247 - Doctor! - One moment. 109 00:07:39,425 --> 00:07:43,156 Nurse, I need 20 cc's of sodium pentothal, stat! 110 00:07:43,329 --> 00:07:47,663 - Whoa, she doesn't have arms. - We're an equal opportunity employer. 111 00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:50,064 We've got a shot cracker outside. 112 00:07:50,236 --> 00:07:54,070 - I'll be with you after I inject this man. - I'm gonna be sick. 113 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,767 There, there. Medical science is nothing to be afraid of. 114 00:07:57,944 --> 00:08:00,310 I think you're hitting the bone. 115 00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:04,842 I can hear the needle scraping against the bone inside. 116 00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:06,712 Oops, he's hemorrhaging. 117 00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:10,055 - His head fell off. - I'm getting out of here. 118 00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:12,418 - Stan! - Some people have a weak stomach. 119 00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:16,995 The father of Eric Cartman is- 120 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,631 Bang! Jiminy, I've been shot. 121 00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:23,565 We'll get back to you. I've seen enough genetic engineers. 122 00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:27,228 Let's move on to the auditions for Mr. Garrison. 123 00:08:27,406 --> 00:08:29,465 Call the Mr. Garrison auditions. 124 00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:33,078 I sure hope I'm not Eric Cartman's father, Mr. Hat. 125 00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:39,151 - You can say that again, Mr. Garrison. - Let's keep him on the top pile. Next! 126 00:08:39,318 --> 00:08:42,219 I sure hope I'm not Eric Cartman's father, Mr. Hat. 127 00:08:42,388 --> 00:08:44,652 You can say that again, Mr. Garrison. 128 00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:46,951 - Thank you. Next! - What?! 129 00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:48,218 Next! 130 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,857 I hope I'm not Eric Cartman's father, Mr. Hat. 131 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:55,194 - You can say that again, Mr. Garrison. - Perfect! You got it. 132 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,097 Let's move on to the Chefs. 133 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,295 So you see, Congressman O'Reilly... 134 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:02,669 ...that's why I think abortion laws should be changed. 135 00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:07,711 I know third trimester abortions are illegal. I don't know anything about 40th. 136 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,780 The person at Unplanned Parenthood... 137 00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:13,180 ...said you were who I had to talk to about changing the law. 138 00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:16,082 I think you've got to talk to the governor about that. 139 00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:17,381 Oh, dear. 140 00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:22,626 - This is all I can do for him. - I have to know who my father is! 141 00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:26,424 - Sorry, it might be a while. - Wake up, you son of a bitch! 142 00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:30,057 That's not gonna do any good. I'll let you know if there's a change. 143 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:33,296 - I can't wait. What am I supposed to do? - Hey, Cartman! 144 00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:34,461 What? 145 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,882 - Let's get out of here. - I don't know if that's gonna be easy. 146 00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:49,317 - That's a hell of a storm. - Weak. 147 00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:57,828 I hate mountains. This better not push back our shooting schedule. 148 00:09:57,997 --> 00:10:01,626 Let's rehearse the reenactment from the top before we shoot it. 149 00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:04,167 - Who's that? - That's TV's Eric Roberts. 150 00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:07,568 We were able to get him to play the little monkey guy. 151 00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:10,766 Talk about washed up. Great to have you, Eric! 152 00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:13,672 Here we go. And, action! 153 00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:16,781 - I want to announce who the father is. - Bang. 154 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:18,246 I've been shot. 155 00:10:18,417 --> 00:10:21,944 - Nobody move. I'm a law officer. - He's gone into cardiac arrest. 156 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,248 You seem unnerved by this, Chef. 157 00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:28,826 Are you accusing me? If you are, don't hide behind your clever riddles! 158 00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:31,122 Our differences must be set aside. 159 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,164 I'm simply a man. A man trying to do my job. 160 00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:36,494 Wow, this is a good movie. 161 00:10:45,544 --> 00:10:47,273 When can we get out of here? 162 00:10:47,446 --> 00:10:50,506 - Doctor, I can't focus. - We're doing the best we can. 163 00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:52,844 They've closed the pass and no doctors can get through. 164 00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:57,752 - For now, it's me and Nurse Goodly. - Wait a second, they've closed the pass? 165 00:10:57,923 --> 00:11:01,984 Yes, we're critically understaffed. Unless we get help... 166 00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:04,925 ...these people are completely f**ked. 167 00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:07,657 - Metaphorically speaking. - What about Mephisto? 168 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,768 - Are you taking care of him? - He's on life support. 169 00:11:10,936 --> 00:11:15,839 He shouldn't need any help. So long as the power doesn't go out. 170 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:18,875 Who didn't see that coming a mile away, huh? 171 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,870 Tonight on America's Most Wanted... 172 00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:25,449 ...a shooter is loose in Colorado, and the residents are up in arms! 173 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:27,210 Here's your host, John Walsh. 174 00:11:27,386 --> 00:11:29,377 Welcome to America's Most Wanted. 175 00:11:29,555 --> 00:11:32,888 Tonight, terror invaded South Park, Colorado... 176 00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:36,153 ...when Dr. Mephisto was gunned down in his laboratory. 177 00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:38,956 America's Most Wanted has reconstructed this crime... 178 00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:41,531 ...in hopes your calls can help solve the case. 179 00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:45,302 - I've been shot. - Mr. Hat, get some help! 180 00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:47,200 Right away, Mr. Garrison! 181 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:52,504 No! My lifetime partner and friend, taken away in the wink of an eye. Fortune... 182 00:11:52,678 --> 00:11:55,545 What the-? Eric Roberts is improvising lines again. 183 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,047 I'm gonna get him to a hospital. Who will help? 184 00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:01,243 This is not a world I want to live in. It is an angry- 185 00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:07,119 - What the hell is this? - We've lost the feed to I.A. 186 00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:11,229 We seem to have lost our linkup to the South Park crew. 187 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:15,731 I guess we'll be going to our feature movie, Who Framed Roger Rabbit. 188 00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:20,634 Who framed Roger Rabbit? Was it Jimbo? Mr. Garrison? Chef? 189 00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:23,570 Somebody go see why we lost the hookup. 190 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,712 Holy smokes! That blizzard is getting crazy. 191 00:12:30,149 --> 00:12:35,416 Don't panic. The power lines are down but the backup generator is running fine. 192 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,216 - Nurse, I could use some help. - Coming. 193 00:12:38,390 --> 00:12:40,551 Lady, is Mephisto going to be okay? 194 00:12:40,726 --> 00:12:44,218 Yes, for now. But the generator won't run for long. 195 00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:47,923 The batteries run out in half an hour. Time is very short. 196 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:51,501 Nurse, please! I need another pair of hands in here. 197 00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:53,399 Sorry. 198 00:12:53,572 --> 00:12:58,600 Don't you see, governor? I should have a right to have an abortion if I want. 199 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:02,441 Well, I don't know. I might need some more convincing. 200 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:07,643 What right do I have bringing another child into this overpopulated world? 201 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:12,223 Then again, I should have thought of that before having sex. I don't know. 202 00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:16,384 I have 100 people to tend to, and only myself and Nurse Goodly. 203 00:13:16,562 --> 00:13:17,551 What do you want me to do? 204 00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:20,528 - Do you know about surgery? - I used to watch Quincy. 205 00:13:20,699 --> 00:13:25,727 Why didn't you say so? Put on scrubs! Boys, I'm making you honorary doctors. 206 00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:28,635 - You can help us save lives. - No way, dude! 207 00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:34,077 We're not going anywhere for a long time. 208 00:13:34,246 --> 00:13:37,113 - We're snowed in? - Yes, we're trapped. 209 00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:39,478 Like sailors on a submarine. 210 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,780 My God, this is the worst storm I've ever seen. 211 00:13:42,955 --> 00:13:46,083 I have to get out. I haven't eaten since breakfast. 212 00:13:46,258 --> 00:13:48,021 I'm getting hungry too. 213 00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:51,288 I hope you all realize what we might be facing. 214 00:13:51,463 --> 00:13:56,867 Our only option might be to eat each other to stay alive. 215 00:13:57,036 --> 00:14:02,064 It's only been four hours. Aren't you resorting to cannibalism quickly? 216 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:03,765 That's the law of land. 217 00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:08,073 It ain't pretty, but if a few must die so the rest can live, so be it. 218 00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:11,876 - But how do we decide who? - Well, we draw straws. 219 00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:16,351 We all had a big breakfast. Can't you go without eating for a while? 220 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:21,323 Calm down! We need every person to keep his head. Barbrady, fetch some straws. 221 00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:23,825 Who the hell made you the boss? 222 00:14:23,996 --> 00:14:28,899 Who the hell made Jimbo boss? Was it Barbrady? Chef? Mr. Gar- 223 00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:33,596 His appendix has burst! I have to operate with our limited power. 224 00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:37,868 I need you to be strong. Nurse Goodly will take care of the anesthesia. 225 00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:41,240 Chef, act as her arms. Boys, help with suction and bandages. 226 00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:42,402 - Ready? - No! 227 00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:47,018 - I'll make an incision over the heart. - Oh, boy. 228 00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:54,148 - You barfed into the incision! - Sweet! 229 00:14:54,326 --> 00:14:56,055 Suction! 230 00:14:58,063 --> 00:15:02,056 - They're screwing with the lights! - Who is screwing with the lights? 231 00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,997 Is it Barbrady? Or Jimbo? 232 00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:08,367 - Or the 1991 Denver Broncos? - That is really starting to piss me off. 233 00:15:10,442 --> 00:15:15,675 So far, everybody has a long piece of straw. We'll keep drawing. 234 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:23,248 - Wait. Where the hell is the short one? - The short what? 235 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:27,085 When you draw straws, you're supposed to have one of them short! 236 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:30,695 - That's how you decide who loses. - That's not how I played. 237 00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:34,299 Could we hurry this up? My stomach is growling. 238 00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:38,562 I found a map that shows the location of a backup generator. 239 00:15:38,737 --> 00:15:43,003 They built a self-sustaining generator for this kind of emergency. 240 00:15:43,175 --> 00:15:45,700 - It's away from the hospital. - How do we get to it? 241 00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:48,847 We split up into two teams. Team A and Team B. 242 00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:53,508 Team A will consist of myself, Stan, Kyle, Eric, Chef and Nurse Goodly. 243 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:56,086 Team B will consist of Kenny. 244 00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:59,747 Team B, your goal will be to turn on the backup generator. 245 00:15:59,925 --> 00:16:03,292 To do this, you must get into this sewage duct. 246 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:07,728 Team A will go to the holding area where there is a television and cocoa. 247 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:12,200 We will drink cocoa and watch TV until Team B makes it through the duct. 248 00:16:12,371 --> 00:16:14,771 By that time, Team B- That's you, Kenny... 249 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:17,306 ...should reach the outer core of the generator. 250 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:20,502 It will be a dangerous climb. There could be velociraptors. 251 00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:25,742 Once you reach the top, you will see us through this window watching TV. 252 00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:29,285 Then you can proceed into the generator and power it on. 253 00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:32,515 - Any questions? - No, that sounds pretty sweet to me. 254 00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:35,216 Right, then let's do it. Go team! 255 00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:40,290 I can't go on. 256 00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:42,400 So hungry. 257 00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:46,004 We're all going to die in this horrible place. 258 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:50,198 We have to have energy to make it through the night. We have to eat. 259 00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:51,365 How can we? 260 00:16:51,543 --> 00:16:57,504 - How could we live with ourselves? - There's only one answer. Eat Eric Roberts! 261 00:16:57,683 --> 00:17:01,483 Yes, of course. Nobody gives as **t about Eric Roberts. 262 00:17:01,653 --> 00:17:03,177 Eat Eric Roberts! 263 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,582 No! No, please! 264 00:17:10,462 --> 00:17:16,230 Well, there's no going back now. We're cannibals. God save us. 265 00:17:16,402 --> 00:17:18,597 God wants you to live. Fight. 266 00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:22,798 I have to admit, Eric Roberts was much juicier than I expected. 267 00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:26,467 This snow isn't letting up. We're gonna die here, I know it! 268 00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:30,240 - What time is it, Barbrady? - It's almost midnight. 269 00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:32,475 I can't go on. 270 00:17:32,651 --> 00:17:36,451 We'll give the storm an hour. After that we might have to eat again. 271 00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:39,284 Christ! Are you people diabetic or something? 272 00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:46,319 - Team B? Come in, Team B. - This is Team B. 273 00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:49,126 We found another path to the generator. 274 00:17:49,301 --> 00:17:54,432 There's a nice heated walkway to it, so you don't need to walk through sewage. 275 00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,734 Well, forget I said that then. 276 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,643 You should see a large drift of snow with metal sticking out of it. 277 00:18:06,485 --> 00:18:09,477 Good, head towards it. Team A out. 278 00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:13,489 What if Mephisto never wakes up? And I never find out who my father is? 279 00:18:21,066 --> 00:18:24,593 My God, what a harrowing tale of human drama this is! 280 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,762 Doing what we must to survive. 281 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,067 It is amazing what people do under stress. 282 00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:34,235 Look at the pyramids. Nobody knows how they built those, or who. 283 00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:36,574 Who built the pyramids? 284 00:18:36,748 --> 00:18:40,184 Was it the Babylonians? Officer Barbrady? Samaritans? 285 00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:44,945 Roger, Team B. He's reached the backup generator. 286 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:48,651 Team B, can you see the two copper nodes? Good. 287 00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:52,661 Now, is there a wire connecting them? 288 00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:57,291 The wire connecting the nodes is gone. We need to complete the circuit. 289 00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:59,198 - Do you have any wire? - There's no time. 290 00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:03,501 Once these lights flicker out, the patients on life support will die. 291 00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:08,740 You can't. There must be some other way. He's gonna make the connection... 292 00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:10,814 - ...with his hands. - He'll die! 293 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,952 - Go, Kenny! - Kenny, no! 294 00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:20,556 - Oh, my God! They've killed Kenny. - You bastards! 295 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:25,389 - The power! - Quickly, get the scanner running again. 296 00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:26,895 We've got a chance now! 297 00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:34,269 Well, okay, Mrs. Cartman. I'll legalize 40th trimester abortions for you. 298 00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:35,736 Thank you, thank you! 299 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:38,570 We'll have the pregnancy terminated. 300 00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:41,736 - Terminated? - Yes, that's what an abortion is. 301 00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:45,714 I didn't mean that. I meant the other thing you can do. 302 00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:48,614 - What's that other A word? - Adoption? 303 00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:53,121 - Yes, that's what I mean. Adoption. - That's pretty different. 304 00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:57,695 I should tell my son the truth about everything. Good day, Mr. President. 305 00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:05,266 We made it. The power is on, the snow is melting... 306 00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:07,337 ...and Mephisto is doing fine. 307 00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:11,033 - Where am I? - You're at the hospital, Mr. Mephisto. 308 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:15,010 You were shot. We don't know who tried to shoot you, but- 309 00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:18,741 I'm sure it was my brother. He tries to shoot me every month. 310 00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:21,784 Where's the fat boy? He'll be delighted that Mephisto is awake. 311 00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:23,216 He's looking for Kenny. 312 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:28,451 - He was a good friend, and I'll miss him. - He risked his life so Mephisto could live. 313 00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:31,562 Yeah, and now he's a freezy pop. 314 00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:36,931 - Do you think if we hit him, he'd shatter? - Let's find out! 315 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:48,979 - It's over. We're free. - Yes, but at what cost, Mr. Garrison? 316 00:20:49,147 --> 00:20:50,273 At what cost? 317 00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:53,213 Listen, we did what we had to in there. 318 00:20:53,385 --> 00:20:57,253 But how will we live with ourselves now? 319 00:20:57,422 --> 00:21:02,018 One day at a time, Mayor. One day at a time. 320 00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:15,604 I'm bringing home some Eric Roberts. Anybody else want some? 321 00:21:17,042 --> 00:21:21,308 I can finally reveal who the father of Eric Cartman is. 322 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:24,847 First, I want to thank Kenny McCormick for sacrificing- 323 00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:26,951 - Tell us, already! - All right. 324 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,053 The father of Eric Cartman is- 325 00:21:29,221 --> 00:21:31,917 Did anybody see that Terrance and Phillip Special last month? 326 00:21:32,090 --> 00:21:35,582 - Wasn't that just the funniest-? - Tell me who my father is! 327 00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:39,720 As I said before, the father is somebody in this room. 328 00:21:39,898 --> 00:21:41,832 The father is... 329 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,900 ...Mrs. Cartman. 330 00:21:44,069 --> 00:21:46,264 - What? - Yes, it's true. 331 00:21:46,438 --> 00:21:48,235 No, that doesn't make sense. 332 00:21:48,407 --> 00:21:51,240 It took a while for me to understand as well. 333 00:21:51,410 --> 00:21:55,346 You see, Mrs. Cartman is a hermaphrodite. 334 00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:56,606 Meaning what? 335 00:21:56,782 --> 00:22:00,274 Meaning that she has both male and female genitals. 336 00:22:00,452 --> 00:22:01,476 It's true. 337 00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:06,090 You mean at the Drunken Barn Dance when we all got together with her... 338 00:22:06,258 --> 00:22:07,316 ...she was a he? 339 00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:11,223 No, no, not exactly. But she did have a penis. 340 00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:16,961 Hermaphrodites cannot bear children, so Mrs. Cartman's DNA match with Eric... 341 00:22:17,135 --> 00:22:19,330 ...means that she is his father... 342 00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:23,304 ...and she got a woman pregnant at the Drunken Barn Dance. 343 00:22:23,475 --> 00:22:25,204 Man, this is f**king weak. 344 00:22:25,377 --> 00:22:28,278 You're a fat-ass, and your mom's a "hermaphalite." 345 00:22:28,447 --> 00:22:33,783 I'm sorry I never told you, Eric. I just thought it would be a little shocking. 346 00:22:33,952 --> 00:22:35,715 Wow. You think so, Mom? 347 00:22:35,887 --> 00:22:39,653 - That's that. Thank you all for playing. - Wait a minute. 348 00:22:39,825 --> 00:22:42,521 If she's my dad, then who's my mom? 349 00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:45,219 Who is Eric Cartman's mother? 350 00:22:45,397 --> 00:22:48,298 Is it Mrs. Crabtree? Sheila Broflovski? The Mayor? 351 00:22:48,467 --> 00:22:50,025 Forget it!