1 00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:41,434 [DOORBELL RINGS] 2 00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:59,368 -Ah. Come in, Mr. Webber. -Hi, Covington. What happened? 3 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,537 I think we blew a fuse a minute ago. 4 00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:03,039 It's as though somebody died. 5 00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:04,332 [CHUCKLING] 6 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,167 -Come this way. Careful, now. -Okay. 7 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:09,420 -Is Mr. Fallon here? -Oh, yes, he's here. 8 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,506 Would you take this? I'll check the fuse box. 9 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,716 -Yeah, sure, okay. -Careful. 10 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,511 Hugh? 11 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,057 Hugh? 12 00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:27,063 GUESTS: Surprise! 13 00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:30,775 [CHATTERING] 14 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,239 HUGH: Is it 41 or 42? 15 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,742 [PLAYING AND HUMMING] 16 00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:44,247 SAMANTHA: [SINGING] --right in and chase the shepherds away 17 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,749 [WARBLING] 18 00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:51,754 --right in and made my sunniest day 19 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:57,260 [SAMANTHA HUMMING] 20 00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:05,726 GUESTS [HUMMING]: Happy birthday to you 21 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:09,146 Happy birthday to you 22 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:14,110 Happy birthday, dear George 23 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:20,241 Happy birthday to me 24 00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:21,701 [CHEERING] 25 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,328 I go down on my knees to you. 26 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,762 How do you feel about 42? 27 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:46,309 -42 what? -Mm. 28 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,978 You know. Years. 29 00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:53,691 It depends. How do you feel? 30 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,486 -I feel betrayed. -Ohh. 31 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,322 Really? 32 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,782 Well.... 33 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,993 You know... 34 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,329 ...they say... 35 00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:08,372 ...you know who "they" are... 36 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:11,042 ...that life begins at 40. 37 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,836 I spent the last... 38 00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,380 ...2 years... 39 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:21,719 ...realizing they'd been lying in their teeth. 40 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:28,017 I don't know. I think the last 2 years have been rather good. 41 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:30,144 That's because you're 38. 42 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,438 -Keep your voice down. -Ohh. 43 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,859 -Goodnight, George. GEORGE: Mm. 44 00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:39,111 SHEILA: Good night, Sam. -Night, Sheila. 45 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,947 Night, Sheil. 46 00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:46,827 Sam... 47 00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:50,373 ...I want you to promise me something. 48 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,084 [IN WHEEZY VOICE] Never! 49 00:04:55,462 --> 00:05:00,132 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Never throw me a surprise party again. 50 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:07,932 -You're welcome. -Oh, you know what I mean. 51 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,768 I'm going to fill out my night. 52 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:20,111 Could I have some more white wine, Bacchus, my dear? 53 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,405 How you feeling, birthday boy? 54 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,032 Oh. Invalided. 55 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,284 You mean invalid? 56 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,996 I'm-- Well, that, too... 57 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:34,291 ...but I feel basically invalided, like an invalid. 58 00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:39,463 Remember what they say, George. After 40, it's all patch, patch, patch. 59 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,090 Ugh. I'm going home. 60 00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:44,760 -We're working here in the morning. -Oh, goody, goody. 61 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,153 MAN: Hey, hi. WOMAN: Hi. 62 00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:04,030 -How you doing? -It's good to see you. 63 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,197 -How's the water? -Great. 64 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,117 [PLAYING PIANO] 65 00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:18,711 Oh. Thanks, Covington. Thanks. 66 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,506 [GEORGE HUMMING] 67 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,301 GEORGE [SINGING]: Happily 68 00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:31,057 Oh, baby, won't you and me 69 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:33,434 We had it made 70 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,147 Here, try this. 71 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:42,943 Put this in front of "don't call it love." 72 00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,446 -Oh, in front. -Right. Try it. 73 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,823 [SINGING] If they ask you 74 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:51,160 You can say that We ended happily 75 00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:52,745 -And then have-- -Right. 76 00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,247 But don't call it love 77 00:06:55,499 --> 00:06:57,917 When you're talking to me 78 00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:59,210 Great. 79 00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:01,087 If they ask you 80 00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:05,174 You can say that We ended happily 81 00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:08,010 But don't call it love 82 00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:11,472 When you're talking to me 83 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,516 -Great. Yeah. -Got it? 84 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:19,021 [SCATS] 85 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,575 -I'm going home. -Right. 86 00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,577 How's Sam? 87 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:36,205 Oh. Sam's great. 88 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,249 Sam's mostly always great. 89 00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:39,875 Can I have my jacket, please? 90 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:43,045 That sounds mostly intellectual, not emotional. 91 00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:44,713 I guess so. 92 00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:48,592 I guess she'd be happier if things were more emotional. 93 00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:51,679 -I guess so would you. -Ho-ho-ho. 94 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,140 For a man who's never been analyzed-- 95 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,892 I'd analyze you better than that expensive shrink. 96 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,311 But you'd come out gay and I couldn't do that to Sam. 97 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,564 -Here you go. -Thanks. 98 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:06,068 -I'll give her your love. -No. Give her yours. 99 00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,006 [MUSIC PLAYING] 100 00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:38,934 SAMANTHA [SINGING OVER RADIO]: He's no more than a man 101 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:46,442 Nothing special that you'd run to see 102 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:52,364 He's a child to be sure At times insecure 103 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:57,578 But he pleases me 104 00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:02,583 For when I'm in his arms 105 00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:08,672 And the last little star slowly dies 106 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:12,009 I'm enchanted to be 107 00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:17,348 The me that I see in his eyes 108 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:29,109 He's a man, nothing more 109 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:36,492 Sort of clumsy and absent of mind 110 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:43,123 Not the kind of a beau I dreamed long ago 111 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:47,670 That I would find 112 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:52,758 He's my lover, my friend 113 00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:59,390 What more could I ask him to be? 114 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:02,935 So in our little plot 115 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:08,524 The mystery is what he sees in me 116 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:16,365 Why is it I never doubt him 117 00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:21,745 When I've known all along 118 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,707 Now and then 119 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:31,880 The very best of men must roam 120 00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:39,388 Sure, I get lonely without him 121 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:44,476 But a man, right or wrong 122 00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:48,063 The more you bind him 123 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:54,361 The less you find him home 124 00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:58,991 He's no more than a man 125 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:07,249 Just a weaver of wishes and dreams 126 00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:12,671 Very shy, insecure 127 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:14,923 He's a child-- 128 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,261 Oh, shit! 129 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:32,524 -Hi. -Hi. 130 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,401 -Are you hurt? -No. 131 00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,278 Would you mind stepping out? 132 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,656 [CROWD LAUGHS] 133 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,119 -Do you have a license? -Yeah. 134 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:53,796 Thank you. 135 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,091 Did you know your license had expired? 136 00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,385 -What? -July 26. 137 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,303 Oh, no! 138 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,056 Yeah. Uh.... 139 00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,892 Do you have a registration? 140 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,978 -For the car. -Um.... 141 00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,106 Yeah, sure. 142 00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:16,568 [WAGNER'S "BRIDAL CHORUS" PLAYING] 143 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:47,349 Expired license, no registration... 144 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:50,769 ...and reckless driving. 145 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:57,401 I think you'll need a lawyer to help you with this one, Mr. Webber. 146 00:12:57,569 --> 00:12:58,902 Yeah. 147 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:05,617 -See if you can get this thing started. -Yeah. Thank you. 148 00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,081 [CAR ENGINE STARTS] 149 00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:20,841 [CAR SPUTTERS AND RATTLES] 150 00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:27,890 OFFICER: Go on, move it! 151 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:46,408 Marriage is a sacred commitment... 152 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:50,954 ...designed on earth, sanctified in heaven. 153 00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:06,386 Consider these two rings. 154 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:07,930 Perfect circles... 155 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,599 ...without beginning, without end... 156 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:14,102 ...signifying God's eternal love and devotion. 157 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,646 [DOOR CREAKS AND SHUTS] 158 00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:18,690 Where would we be without God's love? 159 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:22,778 One of the most glorious of God's institutions... 160 00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:25,656 ...is the institution of marriage. 161 00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:30,202 A union of two souls swearing allegiance... 162 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:34,706 ...and promising in God's name to obey one another... 163 00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:36,792 ...until death do them part. 164 00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:38,961 In today's world... 165 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:42,798 ...it does well to consider such a commitment. 166 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:46,802 For in the final analysis, on the day of reckoning... 167 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,471 ...we shall all be held to account. 168 00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:53,976 The time has come for David and Jenny... 169 00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:57,145 ...to make this commitment to one another. 170 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,648 Do you, David, take Jennifer... 171 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,692 ...as your lawful wedded wife... 172 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,735 ...to have and to hold... 173 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:06,154 ...in sickness and in health... 174 00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:09,074 ...from this day forward till death do you part? 175 00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:10,826 [GEORGE YELLS] 176 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,746 GEORGE: Ahh! Shit! 177 00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:37,352 [GEORGE PLAYING PIANO AND HUMMING] 178 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,118 Hello! 179 00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,539 SAMANTHA: Hi. 180 00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:00,208 -Whose car? -What? 181 00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,419 -Whose car? -It's a loaner. 182 00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:05,422 -Jesus, George! -Don't look. 183 00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,716 What have you done to your nose? 184 00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:09,760 A bee flew in the car. 185 00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:12,220 My God! You're lucky you didn't have a wreck. 186 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:15,265 -I did have a wreck. I hit a police car. -A police car? 187 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:19,144 Yes. And not just a police car. A Beverly Hills police car. 188 00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:22,898 -My God. Does it hurt? -You bet your knickers it hurts. 189 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,067 Have you taken anything for it? 190 00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:28,820 Four of your birth control pills. I hope that's all right. 191 00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:31,406 Try an antihistamine. 192 00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,743 I don't like those. They make me pregnant. 193 00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:36,912 SAMANTHA: I'll start dinner. 194 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,747 GEORGE: Thank God for that. 195 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,929 Okay, what's up? 196 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,474 What do you mean? 197 00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,602 I've been getting strange vibrations. 198 00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,692 Probably just a temporary... 199 00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:09,986 ...malfunction of my biorhythms, dear. 200 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,488 Maybe you are allergic. 201 00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:14,616 That bee sting's awfully close to your frontal lobes. 202 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:17,661 Sit down. You'll just screw things up in the kitchen. 203 00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:19,996 -Go play the piano. -I want to do my share. 204 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:24,084 -You shall, darling. Later. -Ohh. Yeah! 205 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:28,338 [POP MUSIC PLAYING] 206 00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:10,464 [SCOFFS] 207 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,507 Unbelievable. 208 00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,686 Un-fucking-believable. 209 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,537 -Does that guy have a telescope too? -Yeah. 210 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,957 GIRL: See anything interesting? -Oh, yeah! 211 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:49,503 Hi, Sam! 212 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:53,006 Shit! She did it again. 213 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:54,549 MAN [ON TV]: The latest hike in OPEC oil-- 214 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:57,636 That son of a bitch has a bigger telescope than we have. 215 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,095 Not "we" have, "you" have. 216 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:03,058 I don't peep into somebody else's windows to get my jollies. 217 00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:05,227 You and your friend are dirty old men. 218 00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:06,686 He's not my friend. 219 00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:09,064 He should be. You know him intimately now. 220 00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:13,443 I don't watch him, I watch his broads. He's got a hell of a stable. 221 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,570 He must be good in the sack. 222 00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:17,239 What's that got to do with it? 223 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:20,450 Unless he has a new remote control screwing device... 224 00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:22,828 ...how can you keep from watching him too? 225 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,080 I concentrate on the broads. 226 00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:27,958 -He's around, isn't he? -Why are you so het up? 227 00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:31,419 You got the time or you want to wait till after the late show? 228 00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:32,921 [TV TURNS OFF] 229 00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:36,967 First, I'm getting a little fed up... 230 00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:41,471 ...at sexually emancipated ladies being referred to as "broads." 231 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:43,723 Second... 232 00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:47,143 ...I think a telescope aimed at anything other than stars... 233 00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:51,815 ...is an invasion of privacy and qualifies the voyeur as a peeping Tom. 234 00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:54,359 And there's a very good law against that. 235 00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:57,612 Third, the first two wouldn't bother me a bit... 236 00:19:57,822 --> 00:20:00,282 ...if you'd stop watching so much television... 237 00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:02,784 ...and pay attention to your bedroom guests. 238 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,953 This guest, in particular. 239 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:08,915 Now, you want to argue or you want to make love? 240 00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,294 Define "broad." 241 00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:17,799 -Your definition or mine? -I know yours. 242 00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:20,635 A girl who screws around a lot. 243 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,846 -A hooker. -A hooker's a hooker. 244 00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:26,558 Their spreading their legs doesn't make the terms interchangeable. 245 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,685 -What's the difference? -A hooker sells it. 246 00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:31,980 So does a broad. A hooker makes the price going in. 247 00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:36,151 Ahh. So by definition a broad is less virtuous than a hooker. 248 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,988 As far as I'm concerned, virtue has nothing to do with it. 249 00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:44,326 As far as you or any man is concerned, virtue has everything to do with it. 250 00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,953 Listen, I just said "broad." 251 00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:49,706 You applied a disparaging connotation to the term. 252 00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:52,042 Come on. Are you trying to tell me... 253 00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:54,836 ...that "broad" is not a term used by men... 254 00:20:55,087 --> 00:21:00,175 -...to describe women disparagingly? -I'm just saying I didn't use it that way. 255 00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,888 -Would you call me a broad? -That depends. 256 00:21:05,056 --> 00:21:07,724 On whether you watched me through a telescope... 257 00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:10,685 ...while I fooled around with your degenerate neighbor. 258 00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,103 Okay, you define it. 259 00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:17,108 First and foremost, I don't equate the term exclusively with sex... 260 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,861 ...voyeurism or, quote, "degeneracy." 261 00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:22,530 -You do that. -So do you, but you won't admit it. 262 00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:26,201 "Broad" to me is just another colloquial term for "woman"! 263 00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,453 Like "dame," "skirt"-- 264 00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:30,246 -"Moll." -"Crumpet." "Moll." 265 00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:33,458 I'm sure Dillinger never used that word derogatorily. 266 00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:38,380 For authority on female aggrandizement consult the FBI's 10 Most Wanted List. 267 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,048 Let's look it up. 268 00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:42,133 I want your definition, not Webster's. 269 00:21:42,385 --> 00:21:45,136 I'm going to get Monsieur Roget's definition. 270 00:21:45,388 --> 00:21:46,721 You know my definition. 271 00:21:46,889 --> 00:21:50,100 "Broad" means woman. Not good, not bad, unless so designated. 272 00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:52,602 You said a broad does it for money. 273 00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:56,606 You said a hooker sells it. I said so does a broad. 274 00:21:56,899 --> 00:21:59,943 If a broad is a woman, then women screw for money? 275 00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:01,987 -Some women! -Broads! 276 00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:07,575 Some broads do it for other things, but in a way, they sell it! 277 00:22:08,077 --> 00:22:11,663 Here we are: "Woman - dame, hen, petticoat." 278 00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:14,749 "Slang or derogatory. Jane, broad." 279 00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:18,420 Look. "Slang. Derogatory. Broad." 280 00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,797 Okay? How about that, smartass? 281 00:22:22,383 --> 00:22:24,134 You want to look up "derogatory?" 282 00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:32,267 George.... 283 00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:37,147 Don't be a shitheel. 284 00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:42,485 Whatever Monsieur Roget's définition was... 285 00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:46,781 ...I was not using the term in a derogatory fashion! 286 00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:50,326 Some of my oldest and dearest friends are broads! 287 00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,328 -Including your mother. -You bet! 288 00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:53,663 [SINGS] I want a broad-- 289 00:22:53,956 --> 00:22:58,668 My maternal grandmother was one of the greatest broads that ever lived. 290 00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:01,796 They don't make "broads" like that anymore. 291 00:23:02,423 --> 00:23:05,050 -You know what's wrong with you? -Male chauvinist pig. 292 00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:06,426 Besides that. 293 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:10,221 You're gutless. You're afraid to admit you blew it, and lose like a man. 294 00:23:10,473 --> 00:23:12,640 I wouldn't mind losing like a man... 295 00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:16,144 ...if you weren't so damned determined to win like one! 296 00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:19,189 Oh, Christ. 297 00:23:25,821 --> 00:23:27,781 I've got an early call. 298 00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:31,159 Um.... Care to translate that? 299 00:23:31,327 --> 00:23:34,079 Yup. It's getting late. I think I'd better go. 300 00:23:38,501 --> 00:23:41,377 MAN [ON TV]: From Hollywood, The Tonight Show... 301 00:23:41,545 --> 00:23:43,046 ...starring Johnny Carson. 302 00:23:43,214 --> 00:23:45,381 This is Ed McMahon, along with Doc Severinsen... 303 00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:47,509 ...and the NBC Orchestra, inviting you... 304 00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:50,637 ...to join Johnny and his guest Cloris Leachman. 305 00:23:50,805 --> 00:23:54,349 From the Metropolitan Opera company, Judith Blegen.... 306 00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:57,519 I thought we were going to make love. 307 00:23:57,728 --> 00:24:00,522 It'll cost you 50 bucks and an apology. 308 00:24:01,232 --> 00:24:04,484 Here's Johnny! 309 00:24:24,380 --> 00:24:26,297 [CAR ENGINE STARTS] 310 00:24:30,261 --> 00:24:31,719 GEORGE: Sam! 311 00:24:33,556 --> 00:24:35,807 [TIRES SCREECH] 312 00:24:41,564 --> 00:24:43,231 Oh, damn! 313 00:24:47,778 --> 00:24:49,571 Oh, bollocks! 314 00:24:58,956 --> 00:25:00,415 Ow. 315 00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:02,750 [MUSIC PLAYING] 316 00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:07,964 God. 317 00:25:29,111 --> 00:25:30,737 Oh, God. 318 00:25:36,118 --> 00:25:38,786 [SINGING] I give my heart 319 00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:40,371 [PIANO PLAYING] 320 00:25:40,623 --> 00:25:43,374 Just to one man 321 00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:45,960 Loving-- 322 00:25:46,295 --> 00:25:47,962 I can't hear you, Fraser. 323 00:25:48,130 --> 00:25:49,964 [PIANO PLAYING GROWS LOUDER] 324 00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:53,676 This too I swear 325 00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:57,305 While I am there 326 00:25:58,140 --> 00:26:00,099 -It's too soon. -Keep going. 327 00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:03,019 Didn't we have more tables in San Francisco? 328 00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:05,313 More tables, you know. Never mind. 329 00:26:06,357 --> 00:26:10,360 I give my heart 330 00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:13,613 I know my man 331 00:26:14,323 --> 00:26:17,158 Hold it. You must spend more time at the tables. 332 00:26:17,326 --> 00:26:19,494 Did we have more tables in San Francisco? 333 00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:20,745 We did, but-- 334 00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:23,915 -Do you mind if I make a phone call? -Go ahead. 335 00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:25,875 Give everybody a 10, would you? 336 00:26:26,043 --> 00:26:28,836 JERRY: Okay. Everybody take 10, please. 337 00:26:33,884 --> 00:26:35,510 Stage phone, please. 338 00:26:36,220 --> 00:26:37,387 Sorry, that line's busy. 339 00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:41,683 [BUSY SIGNAL] 340 00:26:43,060 --> 00:26:45,019 OPERATOR: Still busy. -I'll hold. 341 00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:47,939 [DIALING] 342 00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:52,777 [BUSY SIGNAL] 343 00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:57,073 JERRY: Okay, over here! 344 00:27:04,832 --> 00:27:05,873 Still busy. 345 00:27:07,751 --> 00:27:09,460 Okay, thank you. 346 00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:24,017 [PLAYING] 347 00:27:33,068 --> 00:27:35,611 Does he do anything except swim and jog on the beach? 348 00:27:35,779 --> 00:27:37,238 Oh, yes. 349 00:27:37,573 --> 00:27:41,242 He makes me happy, so I let him swim and jog on the beach. 350 00:27:41,785 --> 00:27:44,579 The more you do for him, the more he rubs your nose in it. 351 00:27:45,456 --> 00:27:49,334 Speaking of noses, why don't you keep yours out of my personal affairs? 352 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:54,589 In return, I won't bring up that you've acted like a spoiled child all morning. 353 00:27:56,592 --> 00:27:59,260 I'm going to the market. Anybody want anything? 354 00:27:59,428 --> 00:28:01,095 No, but bring back the receipts. 355 00:28:01,263 --> 00:28:03,264 George thinks you take advantage of me. 356 00:28:03,432 --> 00:28:07,769 Is that so? Well, I suppose I do. 357 00:28:07,978 --> 00:28:09,729 But then, nobody's perfect. 358 00:28:09,938 --> 00:28:11,147 Oh, George is. 359 00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:13,191 What a drag. 360 00:28:14,985 --> 00:28:18,988 Hugh, sometimes you really are a pain-in-the-ass fag. 361 00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:23,868 Coming from one of the great Anglo-Saxon heterosexual... 362 00:28:24,078 --> 00:28:27,080 ...bores of all time, that's the ultimate compliment. 363 00:28:27,289 --> 00:28:30,666 You've brooded and sulked around my house all morning... 364 00:28:30,876 --> 00:28:34,504 ...without the good manners to explain or apologize, and I'm fed up. 365 00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:37,507 So you know what I'll do? I'll call it a day. 366 00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:41,094 I'll invite some company over to soak up the strain. 367 00:28:41,345 --> 00:28:43,346 Some happy, conversational... 368 00:28:43,597 --> 00:28:46,224 ...intellectually stimulating, pleasant company. 369 00:28:46,975 --> 00:28:49,018 The Malibu chapter of the Sugar Plum Fairies? 370 00:28:49,228 --> 00:28:53,231 As you don't qualify, you understand why I don't ask you to stay. 371 00:28:53,482 --> 00:28:55,400 I couldn't. I forgot my tutu. 372 00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:58,569 Yeah, see you later, Butch. 373 00:29:15,504 --> 00:29:17,922 -I won't be long. -Don't be. 374 00:29:18,674 --> 00:29:20,216 What does that mean? 375 00:29:20,384 --> 00:29:22,593 It means go to the store and come back. 376 00:29:22,803 --> 00:29:25,388 Don't hang around with your friends at the beach! 377 00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:26,931 Don't get heavy with me. 378 00:29:27,141 --> 00:29:29,225 I'll be back when I'm ready. 379 00:29:33,522 --> 00:29:36,732 What were your thoughts at the moment of this fixation? 380 00:29:38,235 --> 00:29:42,780 That she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. 381 00:29:44,158 --> 00:29:47,118 Uh, on a scale from 1 to 10? 382 00:29:48,954 --> 00:29:50,288 11. 383 00:29:50,456 --> 00:29:52,457 You said there was no such thing as a 10. 384 00:29:52,916 --> 00:29:54,667 There's nothing unusual. 385 00:29:54,877 --> 00:29:56,836 I was sitting at the stop sign. 386 00:29:57,129 --> 00:29:59,130 I wasn't thinking anything special. 387 00:29:59,381 --> 00:30:01,841 Suddenly there she was. And I reacted. 388 00:30:02,050 --> 00:30:05,344 I mean, I wasn't expecting to see that vision. 389 00:30:06,013 --> 00:30:09,682 What about the young girls on the beach? And Larry? 390 00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:11,517 I don't like... 391 00:30:15,063 --> 00:30:16,647 ...middle age. 392 00:30:16,857 --> 00:30:20,485 I mean, it's not that complicated. I'd just rather be 30. 393 00:30:20,736 --> 00:30:22,570 Or 20, even. 394 00:30:22,821 --> 00:30:26,908 God. If to make it, I had to change places with Larry... 395 00:30:27,075 --> 00:30:29,035 ...and a life of faggotry... 396 00:30:29,244 --> 00:30:32,246 ...I'd sure as hell give it consideration. 397 00:30:32,998 --> 00:30:34,832 You don't consider that significant? 398 00:30:35,876 --> 00:30:39,253 I'm just using an extreme example to make a point. 399 00:30:39,755 --> 00:30:42,882 If you could, wouldn't you change places with Larry? 400 00:30:43,926 --> 00:30:45,176 But I can't! 401 00:30:45,594 --> 00:30:47,762 Didn't you ever play games like that? 402 00:30:48,055 --> 00:30:51,390 But not to the point where I got all hung up with it. 403 00:30:52,059 --> 00:30:55,937 You're becoming obsessed with the ugliness of old age. 404 00:30:56,188 --> 00:30:59,607 The fear of death. The inevitability of it. 405 00:30:59,942 --> 00:31:02,610 You'd change places with a homosexual to put it off. 406 00:31:02,903 --> 00:31:04,445 So what do you do? 407 00:31:04,738 --> 00:31:06,197 You play it safe. 408 00:31:06,448 --> 00:31:09,784 You get a fixation on a beautiful young girl. 409 00:31:10,035 --> 00:31:12,620 A "vision," I think was your description. 410 00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:16,290 And I suspect, for your total vision... 411 00:31:16,959 --> 00:31:18,000 ...a virgin. 412 00:31:23,131 --> 00:31:24,131 Yes? 413 00:31:24,299 --> 00:31:28,427 Um, excuse me, reverend, I was just driving by your church... 414 00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:32,139 ...and, uh, a thought struck me. 415 00:31:32,474 --> 00:31:34,267 If it wouldn't be an imposition... 416 00:31:34,476 --> 00:31:38,271 ...and you could spare a few minutes, I'd be eternally grateful. 417 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:39,480 By George! 418 00:31:39,648 --> 00:31:41,524 Aren't you George...? 419 00:31:42,818 --> 00:31:45,236 -Webber. -Of course! 420 00:31:45,487 --> 00:31:46,904 George Webber! 421 00:31:47,239 --> 00:31:49,073 My goodness! 422 00:31:49,283 --> 00:31:51,158 Well, come on in, George! 423 00:31:51,326 --> 00:31:52,326 [LAUGHS] 424 00:31:52,494 --> 00:31:53,744 -Thank you. -How wonderful! 425 00:31:53,996 --> 00:31:56,664 You know, George, I'm a songwriter too. 426 00:32:00,669 --> 00:32:04,338 REVEREND [SINGING]: When you are near 427 00:32:04,631 --> 00:32:07,758 Though we're under a cloud 428 00:32:08,135 --> 00:32:10,678 Why do I hear 429 00:32:10,971 --> 00:32:14,807 Rainbows that shine out loud 430 00:32:15,350 --> 00:32:17,852 Why is there music 431 00:32:18,270 --> 00:32:21,522 When I'm kissing your glove 432 00:32:22,107 --> 00:32:24,233 Could it be 433 00:32:24,568 --> 00:32:28,279 That I have an ear for love 434 00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:32,325 Why, when you smile 435 00:32:32,659 --> 00:32:34,327 Do those bells ding-a-ling 436 00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:35,536 [WHIMPERS] 437 00:32:36,121 --> 00:32:38,372 Turning my heart 438 00:32:38,874 --> 00:32:42,543 Into a thumping thing 439 00:32:43,003 --> 00:32:46,380 Glee clubs of moonbeams 440 00:32:46,673 --> 00:32:50,843 Sing your name in the blue 441 00:32:51,136 --> 00:32:55,139 When I hold you near My love 442 00:32:55,682 --> 00:33:00,770 Look into my ear My love 443 00:33:01,063 --> 00:33:04,732 You'll see that what I say I hear 444 00:33:05,150 --> 00:33:07,234 My love 445 00:33:07,653 --> 00:33:11,072 Is true 446 00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:14,992 Well? 447 00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:17,620 Well-- 448 00:33:17,788 --> 00:33:20,206 Now, George, you must be absolutely frank with me. 449 00:33:20,374 --> 00:33:22,875 Yes. Well, frankly, I.... 450 00:33:23,919 --> 00:33:27,129 -I'm stunned. -Do you think it's professional? 451 00:33:27,381 --> 00:33:30,049 I think it's amazing. 452 00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:32,760 You realize, I've loved music all my life. 453 00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:35,096 Excuse us, Mrs. Kissel. 454 00:33:35,347 --> 00:33:38,140 Loved it all my life. Of course, I made a choice. 455 00:33:38,392 --> 00:33:41,435 I'm not dissatisfied. I took the right road. 456 00:33:41,645 --> 00:33:44,188 -I think you did. -But the music, you know. 457 00:33:44,439 --> 00:33:47,274 -Always there, right? -Oh, yes, yes. 458 00:33:47,526 --> 00:33:50,444 Sometimes, though, it gets to be almost too much. 459 00:33:50,696 --> 00:33:54,281 I feel like chucking everything, and just write, write. 460 00:33:54,449 --> 00:33:58,661 Yes. Well, I think you should stick with it, reverend. 461 00:33:58,912 --> 00:34:01,122 You really did like it. 462 00:34:01,498 --> 00:34:04,792 No. He that hath clean hands and a pure heart... 463 00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:08,170 ...who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity.... 464 00:34:09,214 --> 00:34:12,091 Yes, yes. Quite. 465 00:34:12,592 --> 00:34:14,802 [KISSEL GROANING] 466 00:34:20,684 --> 00:34:24,270 All right, Mrs. Kissel, we'll take care of it. 467 00:34:24,646 --> 00:34:26,605 -She's been with me for ages. -Yes. 468 00:34:26,940 --> 00:34:30,568 It's all right. You go on back to the kitchen now. 469 00:34:30,819 --> 00:34:32,319 No damage done. 470 00:34:34,656 --> 00:34:35,698 How old is she? 471 00:34:35,866 --> 00:34:38,701 I honestly don't know. I don't think she does. 472 00:34:41,204 --> 00:34:42,663 [MRS. KISSEL FARTS] 473 00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:44,498 [WHIMPERS] 474 00:34:48,253 --> 00:34:51,338 Whenever Mrs. Kissel breaks wind, we beat the dog. 475 00:34:51,757 --> 00:34:57,428 I mean, the whole depersonalized lifestyle that puts down anything traditional... 476 00:34:57,596 --> 00:35:01,140 ...and completely ignores many of our... 477 00:35:01,308 --> 00:35:03,601 ...socially most fundamental institutions. 478 00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:05,478 Such as marriage, for instance. 479 00:35:05,687 --> 00:35:08,439 Right on, George. Heh-heh-heh. 480 00:35:08,732 --> 00:35:12,026 I think I'm fairly well psychologically oriented. 481 00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:15,362 I've talked to psychologists, psychiatrists... 482 00:35:15,614 --> 00:35:17,364 ...welfare workers.... 483 00:35:17,532 --> 00:35:20,493 But when I drove by your church today, I thought, "God! 484 00:35:20,702 --> 00:35:21,994 Goodness... 485 00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:25,748 ...who better than somebody who truly represents... 486 00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:28,709 ...the institution of marriage and all it stands for?" 487 00:35:28,877 --> 00:35:30,628 I'd be more than happy to help. 488 00:35:30,879 --> 00:35:33,547 That's really marvelous. 489 00:35:34,174 --> 00:35:36,675 Well, for instance, compared to, say, 5 or 10-- 490 00:35:36,885 --> 00:35:38,302 You may not believe it... 491 00:35:38,553 --> 00:35:41,055 ...but just as many young people are marrying today... 492 00:35:41,306 --> 00:35:42,848 -...as they were 10 years ago. -Really? 493 00:35:43,016 --> 00:35:44,391 Of course, there's a difference. 494 00:35:44,684 --> 00:35:48,187 It fits right in with this depersonalized concept. 495 00:35:48,396 --> 00:35:52,900 So many don't seem able to relate to the true meaning of the ceremony. 496 00:35:53,068 --> 00:35:57,404 Mm. Can you be more specific? Have you married any young people lately? 497 00:35:57,572 --> 00:36:01,575 REVEREND: Yesterday I married Jennifer Miles and David Hanley. 498 00:36:01,827 --> 00:36:04,912 Perhaps you might know the bride's father, Dr. Miles. 499 00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:07,832 He's a very prominent Beverly Hills dentist. 500 00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:09,708 GEORGE: No. No. 501 00:36:13,797 --> 00:36:16,674 [NEIGHBOR’S MUSIC PLAYING] 502 00:36:33,066 --> 00:36:35,901 RECEPTIONIST: Theater. -Stage phone, please. 503 00:36:36,319 --> 00:36:37,444 [PHONE RINGING] 504 00:36:37,612 --> 00:36:39,488 All I possess is 505 00:36:39,823 --> 00:36:42,533 Get the phone 506 00:36:45,287 --> 00:36:46,328 Hello? 507 00:36:46,496 --> 00:36:48,706 GEORGE: Samantha Taylor, please. -She's busy. 508 00:36:48,874 --> 00:36:51,083 God, she's always busy. 509 00:36:51,668 --> 00:36:55,337 My name is George Webber. I'm trying to get a message to her. Can I do that? 510 00:36:55,505 --> 00:36:58,757 -For Samantha Taylor? Who's calling? -Right. George Webber. 511 00:36:59,467 --> 00:37:01,552 -Webber. -Could you spell that? 512 00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:04,471 W-E-B-B-E-R. 513 00:37:04,639 --> 00:37:07,141 -Got it. -Hello? Hello? 514 00:37:07,309 --> 00:37:09,435 -Yeah, yeah. -Yeah. If you could just tell her-- 515 00:37:09,603 --> 00:37:10,644 [PHONE CLICKS] 516 00:37:10,812 --> 00:37:13,898 Hello? Oh, dammit! 517 00:37:36,463 --> 00:37:38,339 Oh, God! 518 00:37:38,506 --> 00:37:40,007 You have all the-- Ohh! 519 00:37:42,177 --> 00:37:43,344 [GROANS] 520 00:37:44,179 --> 00:37:45,387 [SCREAMS] 521 00:37:52,604 --> 00:37:56,523 Ahh! Shit! God! 522 00:37:57,984 --> 00:38:00,694 Dammit. Ow! 523 00:38:02,405 --> 00:38:04,365 GIRL: Hey, I see him! 524 00:38:06,242 --> 00:38:08,035 What's he doing? 525 00:38:09,037 --> 00:38:11,372 [PHONE RINGING] 526 00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:50,577 Come on, George! 527 00:38:58,795 --> 00:39:01,588 [PANTING] 528 00:39:13,101 --> 00:39:14,977 [GROANS] 529 00:39:16,312 --> 00:39:18,897 -Oh! -Hello? 530 00:39:19,232 --> 00:39:21,108 Hello! 531 00:39:25,905 --> 00:39:29,116 GEORGE: I didn't want to bother you but I'm leaving town tomorrow. 532 00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:33,120 How long since you've had your teeth checked? 533 00:39:34,205 --> 00:39:36,415 God, I don't know. Uh.... 534 00:39:36,958 --> 00:39:39,460 My dentist is Dr. Shoup in New York. Do you know him? 535 00:39:39,627 --> 00:39:42,421 MILES: No. Don't believe I do. -Oh. 536 00:39:46,259 --> 00:39:47,843 Open, please. 537 00:39:50,013 --> 00:39:52,139 -Ahh! -Shh. 538 00:39:54,350 --> 00:39:56,769 How long since you've seen Dr. Shoup? 539 00:39:56,978 --> 00:39:58,187 [MUMBLING] Couple of years. 540 00:39:58,354 --> 00:40:00,939 -You've got six cavities. -Tsk, tsk, tsk. 541 00:40:01,107 --> 00:40:02,858 -Two of them are pretty bad. -Really. 542 00:40:03,151 --> 00:40:07,112 -Six cavities? -This is the worst. See this shadow? 543 00:40:07,489 --> 00:40:10,407 That's the nerve. Lucky if we can save this tooth. 544 00:40:10,575 --> 00:40:12,242 Oh. What? 545 00:40:12,869 --> 00:40:16,413 -Who are my next appointments? -Mrs. Phillips and Mr. Rodinsky. 546 00:40:16,581 --> 00:40:20,167 MILES: Now open as wide as you can, please. Wide. Wide. 547 00:40:20,794 --> 00:40:22,503 See if you can cancel them. 548 00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:23,712 [GEORGE GROANS] 549 00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:27,299 And tell Janie that we may have to work through the lunch hour. 550 00:40:30,678 --> 00:40:33,847 You have to do them all now? Couldn't we just do the bad ones? 551 00:40:34,015 --> 00:40:38,769 Well, they're all bad. Two of them really serious. But they're all bad. 552 00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:43,315 Look, I can cancel my vacation for a few days-- 553 00:40:43,525 --> 00:40:46,485 I'm afraid that wouldn't help very much. 554 00:40:46,778 --> 00:40:50,322 In an emergency, I can shift things around a bit. 555 00:40:50,573 --> 00:40:53,492 But otherwise I'm booked solid for the next month. 556 00:40:53,701 --> 00:40:56,286 No, I think under the circumstances... 557 00:40:56,496 --> 00:40:59,706 ...better we just get it over with. It won't be so bad. 558 00:40:59,916 --> 00:41:04,002 Then you can take your vacation, and as far as your teeth are concerned... 559 00:41:04,170 --> 00:41:06,713 ...you can relax and enjoy yourself. 560 00:41:08,424 --> 00:41:12,886 -Beginning to feel the Novocaine? -Yeah. My lips are tingling. 561 00:41:16,516 --> 00:41:18,016 I enjoy your music. 562 00:41:19,102 --> 00:41:23,230 The last time I was in New York, Mrs. Miles and I saw, uh... 563 00:41:23,940 --> 00:41:26,817 ...Dream Boat! That was your show, wasn't it? 564 00:41:26,985 --> 00:41:28,068 GEORGE: Uh. NURSE: Ha-ha-ha! 565 00:41:28,236 --> 00:41:30,445 It was '67. '68. 566 00:41:30,738 --> 00:41:32,364 -'68. -'68. 567 00:41:32,866 --> 00:41:35,742 That was a hell of a good show. 568 00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:38,120 -That hurt? -Not really. 569 00:41:43,042 --> 00:41:45,586 MILES: Where are you going on your vacation? 570 00:41:46,754 --> 00:41:47,921 The Virgin Islands. 571 00:41:49,090 --> 00:41:51,258 Mrs. Miles and I always go to Mexico. 572 00:41:51,426 --> 00:41:53,719 -Oh. -Las Hadas. 573 00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:56,597 Lava tus dientes. 574 00:41:56,848 --> 00:42:00,017 That's Spanish for "brush your teeth." 575 00:42:00,435 --> 00:42:02,436 It's really terrific. 576 00:42:02,729 --> 00:42:05,772 My daughter Jenny's there now on her honeymoon. 577 00:42:09,444 --> 00:42:11,403 [GRINDING] 578 00:42:26,294 --> 00:42:28,295 -How are you? -[MUMBLING] Not very well. 579 00:42:28,630 --> 00:42:29,630 Pardon? 580 00:42:29,797 --> 00:42:32,299 [SPEAKING INCOHERENTLY] 581 00:42:32,967 --> 00:42:35,093 -This'll take a few minutes. -Okay. 582 00:42:35,762 --> 00:42:37,304 -Sir? -Forget it. 583 00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:38,972 Sure. 584 00:42:53,905 --> 00:42:55,197 Hi, Mr. Webber. 585 00:42:55,990 --> 00:42:57,324 [SPEAKING INCOHERENTLY] 586 00:42:57,492 --> 00:42:58,867 Huh? 587 00:42:59,118 --> 00:43:01,453 [MUMBLING] Cup of coffee. Black coffee. 588 00:43:02,288 --> 00:43:04,915 -Oh, coffee. -Coffee. 589 00:43:06,167 --> 00:43:07,918 That's all right. 590 00:43:29,857 --> 00:43:31,441 Thank you. 591 00:43:52,171 --> 00:43:53,672 Oh, Christ. 592 00:43:53,881 --> 00:43:56,091 [PHONE RINGING] 593 00:44:02,432 --> 00:44:03,557 [MUMBLING] Hello? 594 00:44:05,101 --> 00:44:07,978 -Hello? -Who is this? 595 00:44:09,230 --> 00:44:11,481 [GEORGE SPEAKS INCOHERENTLY] 596 00:44:12,066 --> 00:44:14,192 Is this 275-0817? 597 00:44:14,485 --> 00:44:16,236 [MUMBLING] Yeah, yeah, it's George. 598 00:44:20,450 --> 00:44:21,825 Ohh! 599 00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:32,044 [PHONE RINGS] 600 00:44:32,587 --> 00:44:33,587 Hello? 601 00:44:47,101 --> 00:44:48,894 [BUSY SIGNAL] 602 00:45:06,579 --> 00:45:07,621 WOMAN: Operator. 603 00:45:07,789 --> 00:45:10,624 Operator, I'm having trouble reaching 275-0817. 604 00:45:10,833 --> 00:45:12,042 Could you try it, please? 605 00:45:12,460 --> 00:45:14,086 Ohh. 606 00:45:23,137 --> 00:45:25,389 [PHONE RINGS] 607 00:45:26,057 --> 00:45:27,099 Hello? 608 00:45:28,309 --> 00:45:29,643 Hello? 609 00:45:36,359 --> 00:45:39,236 WOMAN: Operator. -Would you get me the police? 610 00:45:51,124 --> 00:45:52,165 -Josh? -Yeah? 611 00:45:52,375 --> 00:45:55,085 -I'm going out. I'll be back. -Okay. 612 00:45:55,461 --> 00:45:58,004 -Do your homework. -I've already done it! 613 00:45:59,173 --> 00:46:02,134 [NEIGHBOR'S MUSIC PLAYS] 614 00:46:31,372 --> 00:46:34,166 [GEORGE CHUCKLING AND GROANING] 615 00:46:37,378 --> 00:46:39,629 Oh, what? 616 00:46:45,887 --> 00:46:48,680 [SPEAKING INCOHERENTLY] 617 00:47:01,486 --> 00:47:04,571 [MUMBLING] What is this? What's wrong? What's wrong? 618 00:47:05,072 --> 00:47:07,491 -Pardon? -What's wrong? What are you doing here? 619 00:47:07,783 --> 00:47:10,285 We got a call from a Miss Taylor. 620 00:47:10,578 --> 00:47:13,371 She spoke to this house. A strange man answered. 621 00:47:15,082 --> 00:47:17,417 He spoke gibberish, made obscene sounds. 622 00:47:17,585 --> 00:47:19,836 [SPEAKING GIBBERISH] 623 00:47:22,381 --> 00:47:24,758 She was afraid Mr. Webber, the tenant... 624 00:47:24,967 --> 00:47:27,594 -That's me! -...met with foul play. 625 00:47:36,103 --> 00:47:38,271 The prescription's for G. Webber. 626 00:47:39,941 --> 00:47:41,316 Do you know Mr. Webber? 627 00:47:45,613 --> 00:47:47,739 He wants to write something. 628 00:48:10,304 --> 00:48:13,348 "My name is George Webber. 629 00:48:14,809 --> 00:48:18,144 I just came from the dentist where I had 6 cavities filled. 630 00:48:18,437 --> 00:48:20,730 I have identification in the house." 631 00:48:21,107 --> 00:48:22,357 Six? 632 00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:27,612 You better take it easy. Pain pills and alcohol don't mix. 633 00:48:27,822 --> 00:48:29,364 You could've fooled me. 634 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:41,501 [HUMMING] 635 00:48:53,764 --> 00:48:56,182 [MUSIC PLAYING] 636 00:49:18,914 --> 00:49:21,499 [SPEAKS GIBBERISH] 637 00:49:22,251 --> 00:49:25,378 Oh, George! With the-- 638 00:49:26,422 --> 00:49:28,006 Come in. Step right in. 639 00:49:31,093 --> 00:49:32,719 George? 640 00:49:35,890 --> 00:49:37,515 George? 641 00:49:40,186 --> 00:49:42,187 [CHATTERING] 642 00:49:42,813 --> 00:49:45,106 NEIGHBOR: You go for it, George! 643 00:49:45,858 --> 00:49:48,234 -Are you going for it? -I'm going for it. 644 00:49:48,402 --> 00:49:50,528 Oh, God! Anything. 645 00:50:05,419 --> 00:50:06,920 GEORGE: I want to say something. 646 00:50:07,254 --> 00:50:10,465 -I have a telescope. -You do? 647 00:50:11,842 --> 00:50:14,469 I look at him every day and he looks at me. 648 00:50:15,596 --> 00:50:17,764 I don't think I've been so happy for years. 649 00:50:17,932 --> 00:50:18,932 [GIRLS LAUGH] 650 00:50:19,100 --> 00:50:21,351 Come have a walk with me. 651 00:50:36,992 --> 00:50:42,288 You miserable little son of a bitch! 652 00:51:05,229 --> 00:51:06,855 [TIRES SCREECH] 653 00:51:38,721 --> 00:51:40,513 [PHONE RINGING] 654 00:51:44,518 --> 00:51:46,311 -Yup? -Sam? 655 00:51:46,687 --> 00:51:48,104 Yep! 656 00:51:49,190 --> 00:51:50,565 Oh! 657 00:51:53,986 --> 00:51:56,738 Oh, fuck! Uh. 658 00:52:14,006 --> 00:52:15,882 [PHONE RINGS] 659 00:52:17,927 --> 00:52:18,968 Hello? 660 00:53:01,053 --> 00:53:02,095 Aeromexico. 661 00:53:49,810 --> 00:53:51,561 [THUNDER CRASHES] 662 00:53:52,605 --> 00:53:54,022 Oh! 663 00:54:10,789 --> 00:54:12,290 Damn you, George! 664 00:54:56,710 --> 00:54:59,128 [GROANS] 665 00:55:21,902 --> 00:55:23,611 GEORGE: Ow! 666 00:55:58,981 --> 00:56:02,316 -George Webber. -Would you please sign in? 667 00:56:15,622 --> 00:56:17,123 Mr. Webber? 668 00:56:18,125 --> 00:56:19,584 Buenos dias. 669 00:56:19,793 --> 00:56:21,919 I'm Vicente, the assistant manager. 670 00:56:22,129 --> 00:56:23,963 Welcome to Las Hadas. 671 00:56:27,009 --> 00:56:28,551 GEORGE: Oh. 672 00:56:31,638 --> 00:56:32,680 Is that for me? 673 00:56:32,848 --> 00:56:36,392 VICENTE: It's a custom here at Las Hadas. It'll keep you cool. 674 00:56:37,478 --> 00:56:41,105 -Can I drink on the way to the room? VICENTE: Of course. 675 00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:50,448 VICENTE: We've got a very beautiful place here. 676 00:56:52,201 --> 00:56:53,868 GEORGE: Look out! 677 00:56:56,705 --> 00:56:57,872 [GEORGE SCREAMS] 678 00:56:59,833 --> 00:57:04,337 I hope the maid has made up the room. Good, she did. 679 00:57:04,505 --> 00:57:05,797 Mr. Webber? 680 00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:08,508 -Mr. Webber. -Huh? 681 00:57:08,675 --> 00:57:10,384 Right this way. 682 00:57:10,844 --> 00:57:12,637 Mr. Webber, right this way. 683 00:57:15,099 --> 00:57:18,267 -You must have had a rough flight. -Huh? 684 00:57:18,811 --> 00:57:21,437 -I said you must have had a rough flight. -Nyeh. 685 00:57:21,855 --> 00:57:23,689 These rooms are well-insulated. 686 00:57:23,899 --> 00:57:26,025 You'll have peace and quiet. 687 00:57:26,276 --> 00:57:27,735 And also, as I said... 688 00:57:28,987 --> 00:57:31,572 ...the view from the balcony is magnificent. 689 00:57:38,539 --> 00:57:40,331 Mr. Webber? 690 00:57:40,958 --> 00:57:41,999 Mr. Webber? 691 00:58:09,945 --> 00:58:11,571 -Hugh? -Hm? 692 00:58:12,823 --> 00:58:16,742 What is it about that miserable little son of a bitch that makes me care? 693 00:58:16,910 --> 00:58:17,910 [HUGH CHUCKLES] 694 00:58:18,078 --> 00:58:19,829 -Well-- -I don't want to, you know. 695 00:58:20,038 --> 00:58:24,375 He's more trouble than any man I've ever known, including my ex-husband. 696 00:58:25,085 --> 00:58:28,629 Apart from being uncommonly bright, wonderfully witty... 697 00:58:29,214 --> 00:58:31,716 ...generous, occasionally lovable and a genius... 698 00:58:31,967 --> 00:58:34,218 ...I can't think of a single thing. 699 00:58:35,179 --> 00:58:37,638 -How about unnaturally belligerent? -Oh, yes. 700 00:58:38,307 --> 00:58:41,058 -Exhaustingly childish? -Uh-huh. Yeah. 701 00:58:42,060 --> 00:58:43,728 We've nothing in common. 702 00:58:43,937 --> 00:58:45,855 We're the original odd couple. 703 00:58:47,024 --> 00:58:48,900 And when he really gets me going... 704 00:58:49,109 --> 00:58:52,570 ...I can't ask him to step outside because he's too small. 705 00:58:55,949 --> 00:58:57,575 I hope he's gone for good. 706 00:58:58,619 --> 00:58:59,619 Well, he hasn't. 707 00:59:00,037 --> 00:59:02,371 -He's going through male menopause. -Come on. 708 00:59:02,539 --> 00:59:05,625 All right. Ladies have a biological edge... 709 00:59:05,834 --> 00:59:10,296 ...but most males over 40 make up for it in the emotional department. 710 00:59:10,547 --> 00:59:12,340 He's gone. I don't know where he is. 711 00:59:12,591 --> 00:59:15,968 Nothing has happened to him. Nothing sinister, that is. 712 00:59:16,136 --> 00:59:19,764 It'll take him a while to find out he's a certified imbecile. 713 00:59:19,973 --> 00:59:24,143 He'll come home, tail between his legs and settle down for good. 714 00:59:24,811 --> 00:59:27,104 Lest ye judge harshly, remember.... 715 00:59:27,314 --> 00:59:30,149 -Nobody's perfect. -Thank God. 716 00:59:31,818 --> 00:59:36,155 Anyway, I'd still like to punch him right in the mouth. 717 00:59:36,823 --> 00:59:38,741 [PLAYING] 718 01:00:12,567 --> 01:00:15,987 [PIANO PLAYING and CHATTERING] 719 01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:28,666 Buenos dias. 720 01:00:30,544 --> 01:00:32,712 A very good evening to you. 721 01:00:32,879 --> 01:00:36,340 Oh. I'd like strong black coffee and some amphetamines. 722 01:00:36,883 --> 01:00:39,010 Might I suggest the dining room? 723 01:00:39,219 --> 01:00:40,886 And the local pusher. 724 01:00:41,138 --> 01:00:43,222 In whatever order you consider appropriate. 725 01:00:43,390 --> 01:00:45,224 Yes, yes. 726 01:00:45,767 --> 01:00:47,268 I'll settle for a brandy. 727 01:00:47,519 --> 01:00:49,061 -Thanks. -Certainly. 728 01:01:00,907 --> 01:01:02,158 Cheers. 729 01:01:11,877 --> 01:01:14,295 I think, one more time, basically. 730 01:01:16,465 --> 01:01:18,049 If you still want coffee-- 731 01:01:18,258 --> 01:01:20,593 I've survived the crisis, thank you. 732 01:01:20,802 --> 01:01:23,262 -Is there a phone I can use? -Sure. 733 01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:27,767 -Dial "9." -Mm. 734 01:01:28,602 --> 01:01:30,102 Thank you. 735 01:01:31,605 --> 01:01:33,606 WOMAN [OVER PHONE]: Operator. -Mm. 736 01:01:34,441 --> 01:01:37,109 Hello, this is Mr. George Webber. 737 01:01:37,319 --> 01:01:38,611 I'm in room.... 738 01:01:39,279 --> 01:01:42,198 I don't know what room I'm in. Do you know? 739 01:01:42,449 --> 01:01:45,451 -Yes. 104. -Thank God. Thank you. 740 01:01:46,411 --> 01:01:48,579 Could you do me a favor and get me... 741 01:01:48,789 --> 01:01:50,915 ...area code 213... 742 01:01:51,541 --> 01:01:55,628 ...655-2264? 743 01:01:56,463 --> 01:01:57,838 Miss Samantha Taylor. 744 01:01:58,006 --> 01:02:01,008 -Miss Samantha Taylor? -Right. Thank you. 745 01:02:03,345 --> 01:02:04,637 [SIGHS] 746 01:02:07,599 --> 01:02:10,810 By what name are you known, sir? 747 01:02:11,228 --> 01:02:13,312 I'm known by the name of "Donald." 748 01:02:13,647 --> 01:02:16,732 "Don," to my friends and paying customers. 749 01:02:19,486 --> 01:02:20,945 In that case... 750 01:02:21,363 --> 01:02:22,613 ...another double, Don. 751 01:02:23,281 --> 01:02:25,366 "Double Don." That'll be hard to say... 752 01:02:25,659 --> 01:02:27,493 ...by the shank of the evening. 753 01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:29,328 Better make that a single. 754 01:02:33,959 --> 01:02:36,168 [PHONE RINGS] 755 01:02:37,129 --> 01:02:39,547 Hello? Yes. 756 01:02:40,173 --> 01:02:42,091 -Sam! -George? 757 01:02:42,259 --> 01:02:45,594 Yes. Listen, you'll never guess in a million years. 758 01:02:46,430 --> 01:02:47,471 I'm in Mexico. 759 01:02:48,181 --> 01:02:49,473 And I'm sitting in... 760 01:02:49,683 --> 01:02:51,350 ...the Las Hadas bar... 761 01:02:51,685 --> 01:02:54,186 ...having a brandy with my old friend, Don. 762 01:02:54,813 --> 01:02:57,440 -Say hello to Sam, Don. -Hello, Sam. 763 01:02:58,442 --> 01:03:00,985 Listen, I tried to call you a dozen times. 764 01:03:02,487 --> 01:03:04,363 When do you plan on coming back? 765 01:03:05,782 --> 01:03:08,284 Hello? George? 766 01:03:08,535 --> 01:03:10,161 Darling... 767 01:03:10,829 --> 01:03:12,913 ...I won't stay... 768 01:03:15,750 --> 01:03:18,127 ...a minute longer than I have to. 769 01:03:18,628 --> 01:03:20,004 Just a couple of days... 770 01:03:20,255 --> 01:03:23,549 ...a couple of weeks. I should have it all sorted out. 771 01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:25,676 I love you too much... 772 01:03:25,927 --> 01:03:28,053 ...to put you through all that rubbish. 773 01:03:28,221 --> 01:03:29,847 I need-- Ahem. 774 01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:33,392 I need the time to be alone. 775 01:03:35,145 --> 01:03:36,770 Okay? 776 01:03:38,690 --> 01:03:39,940 Sam? Sam? 777 01:03:42,027 --> 01:03:44,195 -Mm-hm? -Say something. 778 01:03:44,988 --> 01:03:46,864 Piss off, George! 779 01:03:48,074 --> 01:03:50,451 [PLAYING] 780 01:03:59,503 --> 01:04:02,171 GEORGE: They don't write music like that anymore. 781 01:04:03,215 --> 01:04:06,008 Well, not much anymore, anyway. 782 01:04:06,426 --> 01:04:07,968 Is that good or bad? 783 01:04:08,261 --> 01:04:09,929 What do you think? 784 01:04:11,181 --> 01:04:15,351 I'm opposed to bartenders making value judgments while on duty. 785 01:04:15,602 --> 01:04:18,771 -For that matter, so is the management. -Oh, poo-poo. 786 01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:21,774 How old are you? 787 01:04:22,275 --> 01:04:24,693 Thirty-seven. But I look 40. 788 01:04:24,945 --> 01:04:27,821 No. You look 33. 789 01:04:28,448 --> 01:04:30,783 That's because I'm really 25. 790 01:04:35,038 --> 01:04:39,333 We are each of us the product of an era. 791 01:04:40,752 --> 01:04:43,587 That music is my era. 792 01:04:45,131 --> 01:04:47,216 Beautiful melody. 793 01:04:49,719 --> 01:04:51,762 Great lyric. 794 01:04:54,015 --> 01:04:56,016 If you were 19... 795 01:04:57,352 --> 01:04:59,937 ...and 20 years from now... 796 01:05:01,898 --> 01:05:04,900 ...you were dancing with your wife... 797 01:05:05,652 --> 01:05:08,362 ...or girlfriend you knew in high school... 798 01:05:08,947 --> 01:05:11,490 ...and you said to her, "Darling... 799 01:05:13,034 --> 01:05:14,994 ...they're playing our song"... 800 01:05:15,370 --> 01:05:17,663 ...do you know what they'd be playing? 801 01:05:18,957 --> 01:05:20,833 "Why Don't We Do It In the Road?" 802 01:05:21,001 --> 01:05:22,084 [LAUGHS] 803 01:05:22,252 --> 01:05:24,670 What the fucking hell kind of era is that? 804 01:05:25,422 --> 01:05:28,799 -To each his own. -Ah. Now that's a good song. 805 01:05:52,198 --> 01:05:53,616 What-- 806 01:05:54,492 --> 01:05:58,245 What is the sum total of my indebtedness... 807 01:05:59,039 --> 01:06:01,040 ...to this establishment? 808 01:06:06,129 --> 01:06:07,755 Name and room number. 809 01:06:11,384 --> 01:06:12,843 Uh.... 810 01:06:13,470 --> 01:06:17,306 I have left something for your favorite charity. 811 01:06:17,557 --> 01:06:19,350 -That's me. -Why not? 812 01:06:19,934 --> 01:06:21,644 -Good night, Don. -Good night. 813 01:06:21,853 --> 01:06:23,479 Mr. Webber.... 814 01:06:24,648 --> 01:06:26,774 And for what it's worth... 815 01:06:27,817 --> 01:06:29,193 ...I like your songs. 816 01:06:30,236 --> 01:06:31,445 God. 817 01:06:34,074 --> 01:06:35,449 Well.... 818 01:06:37,327 --> 01:06:42,164 You know something? You suddenly don't look a day over 30. 819 01:06:57,764 --> 01:07:01,183 [GEORGE HUMMING] 820 01:07:23,915 --> 01:07:25,165 Oh, oh. 821 01:07:27,877 --> 01:07:29,420 Oh, Sam. 822 01:07:30,338 --> 01:07:32,798 Come and save me, for chrissake. 823 01:07:36,553 --> 01:07:39,471 [DISCO MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV] 824 01:07:41,891 --> 01:07:44,226 [PHONE RINGING] 825 01:07:44,894 --> 01:07:47,354 -Hello? -Josh. 826 01:07:47,522 --> 01:07:49,106 -Yeah. -Hi, it's George. 827 01:07:49,315 --> 01:07:50,983 -How are you? -Okay. 828 01:07:51,276 --> 01:07:52,818 Let me speak to your mother. 829 01:07:53,027 --> 01:07:54,570 She doesn't want to talk to you. 830 01:07:54,821 --> 01:07:57,072 What do you mean? 831 01:07:57,282 --> 01:08:00,909 Young man, go and tell her I'm on the phone, right now! 832 01:08:01,161 --> 01:08:02,703 Piss off, George! 833 01:08:26,019 --> 01:08:27,227 [COUGHS] 834 01:08:30,774 --> 01:08:32,316 I couldn't sleep. 835 01:08:32,567 --> 01:08:34,693 -It's the brandy. -Yeah. 836 01:08:34,944 --> 01:08:38,697 -Let's get back to the doubles. -How will that help you sleep? 837 01:08:38,907 --> 01:08:41,867 I said I couldn't. I didn't say I wanted to. 838 01:08:42,452 --> 01:08:44,328 Live and learn, like I always say. 839 01:08:44,496 --> 01:08:46,246 Oh, God. 840 01:08:46,956 --> 01:08:48,957 What else do you always say? 841 01:08:49,209 --> 01:08:50,918 I always say... 842 01:08:52,045 --> 01:08:53,337 ...down the hatch. 843 01:08:53,505 --> 01:08:55,547 Ho, ho. Oh. 844 01:08:55,799 --> 01:08:57,549 Up the rebels. 845 01:09:06,017 --> 01:09:07,434 Hello. 846 01:09:12,398 --> 01:09:14,358 Hello. 847 01:09:17,987 --> 01:09:20,656 I don't mean to be rude, but aren't you George Webber? 848 01:09:21,449 --> 01:09:25,744 Yes, I am, and I don't think you're being the teeniest bit rude. 849 01:09:26,454 --> 01:09:27,871 Terrific. 850 01:09:29,749 --> 01:09:31,667 I met you at Truman Capote's party. 851 01:09:33,336 --> 01:09:36,588 -Terrific. -My name is Mary Lewis. 852 01:09:37,006 --> 01:09:40,425 -Congratulations, Mary Lewis. -Thank you. Thank you. 853 01:09:46,307 --> 01:09:48,559 GEORGE: Enid. Enid, darling. Have you met my wife? 854 01:09:48,726 --> 01:09:49,768 [MARY GIGGLES] 855 01:09:49,936 --> 01:09:51,979 MARY: I'm so pissed. 856 01:09:52,856 --> 01:09:56,441 -She's lost her shape. -She's going to enjoy this. 857 01:09:56,985 --> 01:09:59,570 Nice room you have. Pretty. 858 01:09:59,737 --> 01:10:01,280 [GEORGE SPEAKS GIBBERISH] 859 01:10:02,115 --> 01:10:03,574 -Oh! -Oh, God! 860 01:10:03,825 --> 01:10:05,158 I'm sorry. 861 01:10:06,244 --> 01:10:07,661 Let me make it well. 862 01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:14,209 GEORGE: I don't want you to be afraid. 863 01:10:14,377 --> 01:10:16,879 [LAUGHING and GRUNTING] 864 01:10:33,146 --> 01:10:34,646 George. 865 01:10:35,648 --> 01:10:37,190 Hmm? 866 01:10:37,609 --> 01:10:39,067 Is it me? 867 01:10:41,821 --> 01:10:43,322 No. 868 01:10:43,531 --> 01:10:44,823 Yes, it is. 869 01:10:46,576 --> 01:10:48,076 Okay. 870 01:10:48,536 --> 01:10:51,038 -Is it? -No. 871 01:10:53,666 --> 01:10:55,959 It is me, isn't it? 872 01:10:56,836 --> 01:10:58,378 No. 873 01:11:00,840 --> 01:11:03,592 This ever happen to you before? 874 01:11:06,512 --> 01:11:09,973 Well, it's happened to me before. 875 01:11:14,187 --> 01:11:17,022 Ta-da. Heh-heh-heh. 876 01:11:18,191 --> 01:11:19,775 There was this... 877 01:11:20,610 --> 01:11:23,779 ...beautiful guy. Willis. 878 01:11:24,364 --> 01:11:26,448 -Willis-- -Ackerman. 879 01:11:26,699 --> 01:11:28,659 Willis Ackerman. 880 01:11:29,535 --> 01:11:33,830 We slept together, by actual count, 16 times. 881 01:11:35,500 --> 01:11:39,544 No matter what we did or how, he just couldn't manage. 882 01:11:40,213 --> 01:11:41,880 That's terrible. 883 01:11:43,299 --> 01:11:47,886 One time he got so crazy, he just started punching the wall. 884 01:11:48,054 --> 01:11:50,263 Hit it as hard as he could. 885 01:11:50,431 --> 01:11:52,724 Broke the old hand in three places. 886 01:11:57,939 --> 01:11:59,731 He swore he loved me. 887 01:11:59,983 --> 01:12:04,277 He'd sit on that bed in the dark and he would cry like a baby. 888 01:12:05,071 --> 01:12:08,323 It never happened to him before, he said. 889 01:12:10,159 --> 01:12:12,995 We stopped seeing each other finally. 890 01:12:14,038 --> 01:12:16,957 You know, he's got three kids now. 891 01:12:17,208 --> 01:12:20,961 He's married and he's got 3 kids in 4 years. 892 01:12:22,088 --> 01:12:24,256 I think he's... 893 01:12:25,258 --> 01:12:26,550 ...worked his problem out. 894 01:12:26,759 --> 01:12:32,014 Yeah, well, I was his problem and he sure worked me right out. 895 01:12:38,604 --> 01:12:41,606 So don't go punching any walls, Georgie, huh? 896 01:12:42,692 --> 01:12:44,276 Some of us... 897 01:12:44,444 --> 01:12:47,529 ...just don't bring out the man in men. 898 01:12:50,616 --> 01:12:52,409 Good night, sweet Georgie. 899 01:12:52,577 --> 01:12:55,120 [DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS] 900 01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:17,184 WOMAN 1: The sand is hot! Oh! Ah! Hot! 901 01:13:18,770 --> 01:13:20,395 MARY: Oh, God. 902 01:13:29,781 --> 01:13:31,114 WOMAN 2: The sand is hot. 903 01:13:35,286 --> 01:13:37,120 [GEORGE GRUNTS] 904 01:13:38,539 --> 01:13:40,499 GEORGE: God, bloody hell. 905 01:13:48,841 --> 01:13:50,884 WOMAN 3: Oh! Ha, ha. GEORGE: Sorry. 906 01:13:57,183 --> 01:14:00,811 Ah! Ahh. Oh, God. 907 01:14:09,487 --> 01:14:11,029 God. 908 01:14:37,431 --> 01:14:39,558 Hello. Drink, sir? 909 01:14:39,809 --> 01:14:41,768 Can I get you anything to drink? 910 01:14:41,978 --> 01:14:44,104 Something cool, refreshing? 911 01:14:44,689 --> 01:14:46,356 Can I soak my feet in it? 912 01:14:47,567 --> 01:14:51,236 How about a Bloody Mary? You can stand in the ocean while drinking it. 913 01:14:51,487 --> 01:14:54,447 God, yeah. That may be the suggestion of the week. 914 01:14:54,657 --> 01:14:56,491 -Thank you. -Okay. 915 01:15:08,004 --> 01:15:09,796 MARY: Oh, God. 916 01:15:11,215 --> 01:15:13,633 Think I'll go out and get a surfboard. 917 01:15:17,388 --> 01:15:20,265 Ow, ow! Damn! Damn! 918 01:15:21,434 --> 01:15:23,226 Ah, fuck it! 919 01:16:05,978 --> 01:16:08,021 -Here you go, sir. -Oh, shit! 920 01:16:08,439 --> 01:16:10,148 Here's your Bloody Mary. 921 01:16:10,608 --> 01:16:12,651 -Would you like to drink it in the ocean? -No, no. 922 01:16:12,902 --> 01:16:16,363 -It's really warm in the ocean. -No, no. 923 01:16:17,281 --> 01:16:19,532 -I'll take you on my back. Come on. -No. 924 01:16:44,600 --> 01:16:46,685 -Okay here, sir? GEORGE: Yeah. 925 01:16:47,395 --> 01:16:48,687 -Cheers! -Thank you. 926 01:16:48,854 --> 01:16:50,522 Enjoy yourself. 927 01:16:56,612 --> 01:17:02,534 -He is a very enterprising young man. -Mm. Yes, yes. 928 01:17:02,952 --> 01:17:05,620 I must admit I feel a bit foolish. 929 01:17:07,957 --> 01:17:09,666 -Good morning. -Good morning. 930 01:17:15,423 --> 01:17:17,173 I didn't get your name. 931 01:17:18,426 --> 01:17:20,385 Webber. George. 932 01:17:20,553 --> 01:17:23,596 -Collins. Bill. -Hi. How are you? 933 01:17:23,848 --> 01:17:26,391 -Switzer. Chuck. -Hi. 934 01:17:28,436 --> 01:17:30,895 Chuck refuses to be carried. 935 01:17:31,230 --> 01:17:33,481 He used to be a Marine. 936 01:17:34,400 --> 01:17:37,485 Oh, well. To Tripoli. 937 01:17:38,529 --> 01:17:40,322 Semper fi. 938 01:17:54,462 --> 01:17:57,756 I was in the Royal Air Force, as a matter of fact. 939 01:17:58,841 --> 01:18:02,135 I thought you had to be English to be in that. 940 01:18:02,303 --> 01:18:03,762 You do. 941 01:18:05,639 --> 01:18:08,099 -You an English fellow, huh? GEORGE: Mm-hm. 942 01:18:10,853 --> 01:18:12,020 That's all right. 943 01:19:53,038 --> 01:19:55,915 Sir. Can I get you anything else? 944 01:19:56,876 --> 01:19:58,418 Yeah. Terrific. 945 01:19:58,669 --> 01:20:00,086 How about a beer? 946 01:20:00,337 --> 01:20:04,132 Uh. No, actually. Thanks. I think I might go for a swim. 947 01:20:04,383 --> 01:20:07,051 -If you need anything-- -I'll give you a shout. 948 01:20:15,769 --> 01:20:18,855 [SPEAKS SPANISH] 949 01:20:22,985 --> 01:20:25,653 -Surfboard? -It's great. Can I get you one? 950 01:20:25,821 --> 01:20:27,697 I've never really used one. 951 01:20:27,907 --> 01:20:30,950 There's nothing to it. No big waves. Just paddle around. 952 01:20:31,160 --> 01:20:32,452 Sure it's not dangerous? 953 01:20:32,620 --> 01:20:36,039 Absolutely. The hotel's had only one accident since opening. 954 01:20:36,207 --> 01:20:39,167 -That was because the dummy fell asleep. -Fell asleep? 955 01:20:39,335 --> 01:20:42,086 EMPLOYEE: Yeah. He fell asleep on the board... 956 01:20:42,296 --> 01:20:45,006 ...drifted out to sea and the currents got him. 957 01:20:48,677 --> 01:20:49,677 The currents? 958 01:20:49,845 --> 01:20:52,847 Past the point, there's heavy currents. 6 or 7 knots. 959 01:20:53,057 --> 01:20:57,393 If you're on a surfboard or swimming, that's it. You could end up in Peru. 960 01:21:00,022 --> 01:21:02,273 -You mean he-- -Never found him. 961 01:21:02,608 --> 01:21:04,817 But you don't fall asleep on a surfboard. 962 01:21:05,069 --> 01:21:06,945 And you don't paddle out too far. 963 01:21:07,196 --> 01:21:10,532 -Well, maybe tomorrow. -What about sailing? 964 01:21:11,909 --> 01:21:14,744 -Great sport. -Maybe. I'll see you later. 965 01:21:15,329 --> 01:21:16,538 EMPLOYEE: Adios. 966 01:24:05,290 --> 01:24:08,626 Hey! Hey! Hey! 967 01:24:15,718 --> 01:24:17,051 Come on! 968 01:24:17,469 --> 01:24:18,970 Oh! 969 01:24:40,826 --> 01:24:42,660 [GRUNTING] 970 01:24:52,755 --> 01:24:55,965 NEWSCASTER [ON TV]: Against odds and without thought for his own safety... 971 01:24:56,216 --> 01:24:58,718 ...George Webber, composer, playwright... 972 01:24:58,969 --> 01:25:01,137 ...and winner of four Academy Awards... 973 01:25:01,388 --> 01:25:04,724 ...braved treacherous waters to save a drowning man. 974 01:25:05,142 --> 01:25:07,602 David Hanley, 23, and his bride, Jennifer... 975 01:25:07,853 --> 01:25:11,230 ...are honeymooning at the Las Hadas Hotel in Mexico. 976 01:25:11,690 --> 01:25:15,234 David fell asleep on his surfboard and drifted out to sea. 977 01:25:15,402 --> 01:25:16,444 I've got to call Sam! 978 01:25:16,653 --> 01:25:20,573 --told me how dangerous it is in the currents. 979 01:25:20,783 --> 01:25:22,408 I was out in the boat... 980 01:25:22,659 --> 01:25:23,993 ...and I decided... 981 01:25:24,328 --> 01:25:27,830 ...there wasn't time to go for help, so I went after him. 982 01:25:27,998 --> 01:25:29,624 WOMAN [OVER PHONE]: Hello? Hello? 983 01:25:29,875 --> 01:25:33,669 -George Webber, please. -One moment please. 984 01:25:35,589 --> 01:25:37,423 -To your very good health. -Thank you, Don. 985 01:25:37,591 --> 01:25:38,966 -Cheers. -Cheers. 986 01:25:39,259 --> 01:25:41,177 [PHONE RINGS] 987 01:25:43,722 --> 01:25:45,807 -Lounge. WOMAN: Mr. Webber, please. 988 01:25:46,141 --> 01:25:47,266 Wait one moment. 989 01:25:47,518 --> 01:25:49,811 -Are you in? -No, no. 990 01:25:51,438 --> 01:25:54,440 Listen, Kitty, until otherwise instructed... 991 01:25:55,442 --> 01:25:57,360 ...Mr. Webber'll be incommunicado. 992 01:25:57,611 --> 01:26:00,071 Oh, my God! Where's that? 993 01:26:00,322 --> 01:26:02,990 About 20 miles east, and make a left turn. 994 01:26:03,242 --> 01:26:05,868 Okay. Thank you, Don. 995 01:26:06,119 --> 01:26:09,831 Clever girl. She wanted to know where "communicado" was. 996 01:26:10,082 --> 01:26:12,416 Oh, it's very obvious. 997 01:26:12,668 --> 01:26:14,877 It's a stone's throw from "cognito." 998 01:26:16,171 --> 01:26:17,880 Sorry. 999 01:26:18,048 --> 01:26:19,423 Sorry. 1000 01:26:26,390 --> 01:26:28,474 This is the new one, Hugh. 1001 01:30:18,038 --> 01:30:19,955 That's beautiful. 1002 01:30:21,833 --> 01:30:23,459 More, Georgie. 1003 01:30:23,710 --> 01:30:26,003 Play "Funny Valentine." 1004 01:30:27,172 --> 01:30:30,257 You don't remember? I played that for you already. 1005 01:30:30,509 --> 01:30:31,675 You did? 1006 01:30:31,927 --> 01:30:34,804 At Truman Capote's party. 1007 01:30:35,055 --> 01:30:37,473 Gosh, I don't remember. 1008 01:30:40,060 --> 01:30:41,435 Are you sure? 1009 01:30:42,729 --> 01:30:45,064 I play it at every party. 1010 01:30:51,279 --> 01:30:54,990 Keep a light in the window. I may be back. 1011 01:30:55,158 --> 01:30:57,409 DONALD: Right, mate. -Oh, yes. 1012 01:31:00,372 --> 01:31:03,916 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1013 01:31:16,012 --> 01:31:17,930 JENNIFER: Who is it? GEORGE: Uh, George Webber. 1014 01:31:20,100 --> 01:31:22,685 Sorry, I didn't realize you were in the shower. 1015 01:31:22,853 --> 01:31:24,145 Oh, no, no. Come in. 1016 01:31:24,354 --> 01:31:26,939 I tried to call, but you weren't in. 1017 01:31:27,357 --> 01:31:29,608 I'll just slip into a robe. Come in. 1018 01:31:32,863 --> 01:31:35,197 There's a bar if you want a drink. 1019 01:31:35,448 --> 01:31:36,866 There's a joint in the ashtray. 1020 01:32:01,892 --> 01:32:04,393 I didn't get home from the hospital until 8:00. 1021 01:32:04,603 --> 01:32:05,936 How is your husband? 1022 01:32:06,104 --> 01:32:07,104 [MUSIC STOPS] 1023 01:32:07,272 --> 01:32:08,856 JENNIFER: He's got a terrible sunburn. 1024 01:32:09,065 --> 01:32:11,192 He'll lie on his stomach for days. 1025 01:32:11,401 --> 01:32:13,819 It could have been much worse. 1026 01:32:14,696 --> 01:32:16,822 -Wouldn't you like a drink? -No, thanks. 1027 01:32:17,073 --> 01:32:19,408 -Some grass? -No, no, no. 1028 01:32:19,868 --> 01:32:22,995 -Would you like to sit down? -Yes. 1029 01:32:26,708 --> 01:32:28,918 You know my father. 1030 01:32:29,085 --> 01:32:30,961 -Yes. -He says you're his patient. 1031 01:32:31,129 --> 01:32:33,589 -Dr. Miles, D.D.S. -That's right. 1032 01:32:34,799 --> 01:32:36,759 Well, isn't that wild? 1033 01:32:38,011 --> 01:32:39,720 Yeah. 1034 01:32:39,888 --> 01:32:41,472 You wouldn't believe this. 1035 01:32:41,640 --> 01:32:44,391 About two weeks ago, David and I saw you on Dinah Shore. 1036 01:32:44,559 --> 01:32:45,643 Oh, right. 1037 01:32:45,810 --> 01:32:49,688 To be honest, I didn't know who you were or what you did. 1038 01:32:50,190 --> 01:32:54,360 But I said to David, "There's a really attractive older man." 1039 01:32:54,945 --> 01:32:57,196 Oh. Well, that's nice. 1040 01:32:58,782 --> 01:33:00,783 And you've written all those songs. 1041 01:33:01,201 --> 01:33:03,160 -A few. -Elevator music. 1042 01:33:03,912 --> 01:33:06,288 God! Elevator music. 1043 01:33:07,874 --> 01:33:10,501 The music in elevators. Lots of violins. 1044 01:33:10,669 --> 01:33:13,671 I know what you mean. I'm very big in elevators. 1045 01:33:20,262 --> 01:33:23,180 -And here you are. -Yeah. 1046 01:33:24,766 --> 01:33:27,268 You saved my husband's life. 1047 01:33:28,979 --> 01:33:30,521 It's unbelievable, isn't it? 1048 01:33:31,356 --> 01:33:32,982 Yeah, I suppose it is. 1049 01:33:34,025 --> 01:33:36,151 Did you know we were on our honeymoon? 1050 01:33:36,444 --> 01:33:39,488 -No. -We were married Friday. 1051 01:33:39,781 --> 01:33:41,365 Oh. 1052 01:33:43,201 --> 01:33:46,036 -Not much of a honeymoon. -It doesn't matter. 1053 01:33:46,371 --> 01:33:49,832 We lived together two years. We only did it for the family. 1054 01:33:50,041 --> 01:33:52,501 My father's just right of Attila the Hun. 1055 01:33:56,381 --> 01:33:59,800 -May I ask you something, Mr. Webber? -If you call me George. 1056 01:34:00,802 --> 01:34:02,469 I haven't eaten all day. 1057 01:34:02,721 --> 01:34:06,640 Well, in that case let me take you out to dinner. 1058 01:34:07,684 --> 01:34:10,185 That's what I was going to ask you, George. 1059 01:34:18,403 --> 01:34:20,738 [CHATTERING] 1060 01:34:33,251 --> 01:34:35,961 [MARIACHI BAND SINGS IN SPANISH] 1061 01:35:05,658 --> 01:35:07,117 Pretty song. 1062 01:35:09,662 --> 01:35:13,207 "Esta noche, la paso contigo." 1063 01:35:15,543 --> 01:35:16,585 What does that mean? 1064 01:35:19,089 --> 01:35:21,215 Tonight I spend with you. 1065 01:36:21,443 --> 01:36:24,319 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 1066 01:36:34,789 --> 01:36:37,458 Tell me something, sweet Donald. 1067 01:36:39,752 --> 01:36:42,004 What's fair about a man... 1068 01:36:42,380 --> 01:36:43,505 ...getting older... 1069 01:36:43,715 --> 01:36:47,843 ...and looking more distinguished and worldly... 1070 01:36:48,303 --> 01:36:52,473 ...and a woman getting older and looking old? 1071 01:36:55,560 --> 01:36:57,936 There's nothing fair about that. 1072 01:37:02,233 --> 01:37:03,233 Yeah. 1073 01:37:11,326 --> 01:37:14,953 [CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING] 1074 01:37:22,837 --> 01:37:24,421 No, I'm... 1075 01:37:25,798 --> 01:37:27,758 ...just fine. 1076 01:37:31,304 --> 01:37:33,931 I wasn't expecting Prokofiev. 1077 01:37:34,933 --> 01:37:38,185 I saw Romeo and Juliet at the Royal Opera House... 1078 01:37:38,436 --> 01:37:41,396 ...when I was 16, with Nureyev and Fonteyn. 1079 01:37:41,981 --> 01:37:43,815 It really wiped me out. 1080 01:37:45,568 --> 01:37:47,653 I like different music for different things. 1081 01:37:49,113 --> 01:37:51,198 I like to listen to rock. 1082 01:37:51,366 --> 01:37:53,158 I like to dance to jazz. 1083 01:37:54,202 --> 01:37:55,786 What do you do to Prokofiev? 1084 01:37:58,498 --> 01:37:59,540 Fuck. 1085 01:38:04,963 --> 01:38:07,464 And not only Prokofiev. Ravel. 1086 01:38:10,134 --> 01:38:11,969 Did you ever do it to Ravel's "Bolero"? 1087 01:38:12,720 --> 01:38:13,887 No. 1088 01:38:23,982 --> 01:38:25,649 My uncle turned me on to it. 1089 01:38:25,984 --> 01:38:27,818 [COUGHING] 1090 01:38:29,362 --> 01:38:31,238 My stepmother's younger brother. 1091 01:38:32,991 --> 01:38:36,368 I spent weekends at his house. I was at school in England. 1092 01:38:37,328 --> 01:38:41,540 Uncle Fred said "Bolero" was the most descriptive sex music ever written. 1093 01:38:43,293 --> 01:38:45,294 And he proved it. 1094 01:38:54,387 --> 01:38:55,470 [MUSIC STOPS] 1095 01:39:06,316 --> 01:39:09,526 [RAVEL'S "BOLERO" PLAYING] 1096 01:39:17,327 --> 01:39:18,827 George? 1097 01:39:19,245 --> 01:39:20,746 I forgot the joint. 1098 01:39:20,997 --> 01:39:22,164 What, now? 1099 01:40:29,649 --> 01:40:31,483 Oh, God, you beautiful thing! 1100 01:40:31,734 --> 01:40:34,653 Better hurry or you'll have to start it again. 1101 01:40:34,904 --> 01:40:37,322 The music. You'll have to start it again. 1102 01:40:48,793 --> 01:40:51,044 -Start it again! -What? 1103 01:40:51,254 --> 01:40:55,465 It's better if you start right at the beginning. Please? 1104 01:40:59,762 --> 01:41:01,138 Hurry! 1105 01:41:04,058 --> 01:41:05,183 GEORGE: Oh, shit. 1106 01:41:05,351 --> 01:41:06,768 [MUSIC STOPS] 1107 01:41:07,311 --> 01:41:08,812 [MUSIC STARTS] 1108 01:41:14,152 --> 01:41:17,112 It's all right. It's a long piece. 1109 01:41:19,490 --> 01:41:22,868 Oh, God. Oh, Jenny. 1110 01:41:25,413 --> 01:41:27,998 You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 1111 01:41:28,166 --> 01:41:30,125 [MOANING] 1112 01:41:31,461 --> 01:41:35,213 Ah, ah, ah! Ow, my hair! 1113 01:41:36,382 --> 01:41:37,758 JENNIFER: Oh, I'm sorry. 1114 01:41:48,686 --> 01:41:51,229 -What? -It's better if I'm on top. 1115 01:41:51,397 --> 01:41:53,565 Oh, okay. 1116 01:42:02,492 --> 01:42:03,575 [COUGHS AND WHEEZES] 1117 01:42:03,743 --> 01:42:05,076 -What? -A feather! 1118 01:42:05,328 --> 01:42:07,370 I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 1119 01:42:08,414 --> 01:42:11,875 -Maybe it's better if we go the other way. -Okay. 1120 01:42:22,845 --> 01:42:25,055 [MUSIC SKIPS] 1121 01:42:25,556 --> 01:42:27,724 GEORGE: Now what? -It's stuck! 1122 01:42:27,934 --> 01:42:29,893 GEORGE: It's not. Really, don't be afraid. 1123 01:42:30,102 --> 01:42:32,270 JENNIFER: The record is stuck! 1124 01:42:33,064 --> 01:42:34,981 The record! 1125 01:42:35,149 --> 01:42:36,691 GEORGE: Oh, Christ. 1126 01:42:36,943 --> 01:42:38,735 JENNIFER: Fix it, please! 1127 01:42:41,948 --> 01:42:43,281 [MUSIC STOPS SKIPPING] 1128 01:42:43,699 --> 01:42:45,116 Finally. 1129 01:42:48,746 --> 01:42:50,497 [PHONE RINGING] 1130 01:42:50,665 --> 01:42:53,917 GEORGE: Oh, Jesus! -I don't believe it! 1131 01:42:57,088 --> 01:42:58,296 Hello? 1132 01:42:58,506 --> 01:43:01,216 Oh, hi, baby. How do you feel? 1133 01:43:02,093 --> 01:43:03,510 It's David. 1134 01:43:04,512 --> 01:43:06,805 George Webber. We went out to dinner. 1135 01:43:07,306 --> 01:43:09,808 George Webber, the man who saved-- 1136 01:43:10,059 --> 01:43:11,685 Right, right. 1137 01:43:12,436 --> 01:43:15,146 Hold on. He wants to talk to you. 1138 01:43:17,775 --> 01:43:19,734 He wants to thank you. 1139 01:43:20,820 --> 01:43:22,612 Hi, David. 1140 01:43:23,781 --> 01:43:26,658 Yeah. Oh, no big deal. 1141 01:43:26,909 --> 01:43:28,994 No, it's my pleasure. 1142 01:43:29,370 --> 01:43:31,371 Yeah, she's-- 1143 01:43:32,081 --> 01:43:33,164 We had a nice dinner. 1144 01:43:33,416 --> 01:43:36,501 And we were just sitting around talking. 1145 01:43:39,005 --> 01:43:41,756 I was just getting ready to leave. 1146 01:43:42,758 --> 01:43:46,011 Sure will. Okay, nice talking to you. 1147 01:43:48,431 --> 01:43:51,558 Hi. You sound like you're really out of it. 1148 01:43:52,059 --> 01:43:53,518 Beautiful. I envy you. 1149 01:43:53,686 --> 01:43:55,145 You'd better get some sleep. 1150 01:43:55,313 --> 01:43:57,355 I'll be there about 11:00. 1151 01:43:57,523 --> 01:44:00,025 Okay. All right. Bye. 1152 01:44:00,276 --> 01:44:03,486 They just gave him a shot of Demerol. He's really out of it. 1153 01:44:03,654 --> 01:44:05,363 GEORGE: Oh, God. 1154 01:44:11,996 --> 01:44:13,455 [MUSIC STOPS] 1155 01:44:18,377 --> 01:44:20,170 Oh, fuck! Ow. 1156 01:44:20,338 --> 01:44:22,839 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1157 01:44:26,677 --> 01:44:28,386 [JENNIFER SQUEALS] 1158 01:44:32,224 --> 01:44:33,642 Hold it. 1159 01:44:37,146 --> 01:44:39,689 -Can I ask you a question? -Sure. 1160 01:44:41,067 --> 01:44:42,442 Why me? 1161 01:44:44,153 --> 01:44:45,487 What do you mean? 1162 01:44:46,614 --> 01:44:49,366 Tonight! Me. This. 1163 01:44:49,700 --> 01:44:51,451 Why not? 1164 01:44:58,542 --> 01:45:00,919 Are you bothered because my old man called? 1165 01:45:01,087 --> 01:45:02,712 God, aren't you? 1166 01:45:02,880 --> 01:45:04,130 No. 1167 01:45:05,091 --> 01:45:06,883 And what about this? 1168 01:45:07,301 --> 01:45:09,552 -I don't understand. -Oh, come on. 1169 01:45:09,720 --> 01:45:11,388 This! Us! 1170 01:45:11,722 --> 01:45:13,056 What about it? 1171 01:45:13,557 --> 01:45:15,225 Why the hell get married? 1172 01:45:16,686 --> 01:45:18,603 I got married because I wanted to. 1173 01:45:20,731 --> 01:45:25,360 A week later you have an affair with the man who saved your husband's life! 1174 01:45:28,406 --> 01:45:31,199 -Oh, wow! -Oh, Jenny. 1175 01:45:31,575 --> 01:45:32,909 "Oh, wow"? 1176 01:45:33,494 --> 01:45:35,578 I don't understand that thinking. 1177 01:45:35,746 --> 01:45:37,414 Well, evidently not. 1178 01:45:41,043 --> 01:45:43,211 Five minutes ago you weren't worried about him. 1179 01:45:43,379 --> 01:45:45,338 -Oh, boy. -Or whether I was married. 1180 01:45:45,506 --> 01:45:47,757 The hell I wasn't! 1181 01:45:49,260 --> 01:45:51,761 How do you act when you're not worried? 1182 01:45:52,722 --> 01:45:58,226 I thought maybe you thought I was more than just a casual lay. 1183 01:45:59,311 --> 01:46:00,437 Why'd you think that? 1184 01:46:00,604 --> 01:46:02,939 Oh, great. Thank you. Terrific. 1185 01:46:05,109 --> 01:46:09,529 Because I thought you were something different. Something special! 1186 01:46:09,780 --> 01:46:13,116 I am. As far as I'm concerned, I'm very special. 1187 01:46:13,409 --> 01:46:16,411 If I sleep with someone, it's because I want to. 1188 01:46:17,121 --> 01:46:19,789 -Mm-hm. -I enjoy it. It pleases me. 1189 01:46:20,041 --> 01:46:21,458 Jolly good! 1190 01:46:21,959 --> 01:46:23,460 It's okay if your husband does it? 1191 01:46:24,462 --> 01:46:26,046 If it makes him happy. 1192 01:46:26,297 --> 01:46:28,423 Nothing wrong with being happy... 1193 01:46:28,632 --> 01:46:31,301 ...but there's more to life than screwing to Ravel's "Bolero." 1194 01:46:31,552 --> 01:46:32,969 Sure there is. 1195 01:46:33,304 --> 01:46:36,056 But what's wrong with screwing to Ravel's "Bolero"? 1196 01:46:36,307 --> 01:46:40,769 It depends why you're doing it and with whom you're doing it... 1197 01:46:41,145 --> 01:46:42,145 ...with. 1198 01:46:42,354 --> 01:46:44,481 If I thought that much, I'd be a virgin! 1199 01:46:44,648 --> 01:46:46,149 Oh, look, Jenny! 1200 01:46:46,358 --> 01:46:48,818 George, are you happy? 1201 01:46:50,946 --> 01:46:52,781 Let me see.... 1202 01:46:53,908 --> 01:46:56,493 Um.... No. 1203 01:46:57,203 --> 01:46:58,661 Not at this minute. 1204 01:46:58,871 --> 01:47:00,330 Neither am I. 1205 01:47:01,332 --> 01:47:04,501 But I was, and I intend to be again soon. 1206 01:47:04,877 --> 01:47:08,963 I don't know your problem but you won't solve it by solving mine. 1207 01:47:09,173 --> 01:47:12,509 -Fine. -And I don't think I really have a problem. 1208 01:47:12,676 --> 01:47:14,052 Mm-hm. 1209 01:47:15,846 --> 01:47:16,888 That's your problem. 1210 01:47:43,707 --> 01:47:44,874 -George? -Hmm? 1211 01:47:46,001 --> 01:47:48,378 Would you turn off the record? 1212 01:47:57,388 --> 01:47:58,638 [MUSIC STOPS] 1213 01:48:11,318 --> 01:48:16,948 SAMANTHA: I give my heart 1214 01:48:18,742 --> 01:48:24,080 Just to one man 1215 01:48:26,458 --> 01:48:30,628 I give my heart 1216 01:48:31,046 --> 01:48:35,425 To one man 1217 01:48:36,093 --> 01:48:40,430 Alone 1218 01:48:42,683 --> 01:48:44,934 [AUDIENCE APPLAUDS] 1219 01:48:54,820 --> 01:48:58,323 -They loved it. -At $8.50 a crack, I'm lucky. 1220 01:49:00,618 --> 01:49:02,785 STAGE HAND: What's up? BERNIE: George fucking Webber! 1221 01:49:11,629 --> 01:49:13,296 [DOORBELL RINGS] 1222 01:49:18,302 --> 01:49:20,803 HOUSEKEEPER: Hello, Mr. Webber. Come in. 1223 01:49:21,472 --> 01:49:23,139 -How are you? -Fine, thanks. 1224 01:49:24,975 --> 01:49:26,726 -Is she expecting you? -No. 1225 01:49:26,936 --> 01:49:29,604 -I'd better let her know you're here. -Okay. 1226 01:49:33,776 --> 01:49:35,318 HOUSEKEEPER: Mrs. Taylor? 1227 01:49:35,819 --> 01:49:38,321 SAMANTHA: Yes? -Mr. Webber's here. 1228 01:49:42,284 --> 01:49:43,868 -Would you like a drink? -No, thanks. 1229 01:49:53,003 --> 01:49:54,337 Your phone's out of order. 1230 01:49:54,964 --> 01:49:56,297 No, it's not. 1231 01:49:56,507 --> 01:49:58,007 It's been busy all day. 1232 01:49:58,384 --> 01:49:59,884 It's Josh talking to his dad. 1233 01:50:02,263 --> 01:50:06,683 I.... I got back this afternoon. I thought I'd surprise you. 1234 01:50:07,518 --> 01:50:08,643 You did. 1235 01:50:09,937 --> 01:50:13,398 Uh.... Maybe you'd like to go have dinner? 1236 01:50:14,817 --> 01:50:17,068 -No, thanks. -Okay. 1237 01:50:17,361 --> 01:50:19,195 I'm having dinner with Bernie Kaufman. 1238 01:50:21,532 --> 01:50:24,158 -How come? -Because he asked me. 1239 01:50:24,827 --> 01:50:27,495 JOSH: Mom? Dad wants to talk to you. 1240 01:50:27,705 --> 01:50:30,915 He wants me to come to Southampton for Easter. 1241 01:50:31,333 --> 01:50:33,710 -Oh, hi, George. GEORGE: Hi, Josh. 1242 01:50:34,378 --> 01:50:35,712 You mad at me? 1243 01:50:36,046 --> 01:50:37,463 Yeah. 1244 01:50:37,840 --> 01:50:39,674 JOSH: Mom says I should apologize. 1245 01:50:42,386 --> 01:50:45,388 I think you should apologize because you want to... 1246 01:50:45,556 --> 01:50:47,056 ...not because of your mother. 1247 01:50:47,599 --> 01:50:50,143 -What if I don't want to? -Uh.... 1248 01:50:50,686 --> 01:50:51,728 Then don't. 1249 01:50:51,937 --> 01:50:53,813 [DOORBELL RINGS] 1250 01:50:54,940 --> 01:50:57,608 JOSH: Okay, I won't. -Why the hell not? 1251 01:50:59,153 --> 01:51:00,361 BERNIE: Hi. JOSH: Hi. 1252 01:51:00,529 --> 01:51:02,572 I'm Bernie Kaufman. Your mom expects me. 1253 01:51:02,823 --> 01:51:04,324 She's on the phone. 1254 01:51:05,367 --> 01:51:08,077 I'll apologize to you if you apologize to Mom. 1255 01:51:08,245 --> 01:51:10,872 -Why should I do that? -Because you've been a real shit! 1256 01:51:11,040 --> 01:51:13,082 -You little.... JOSH: I'll tell her you're here. 1257 01:51:14,918 --> 01:51:17,378 -Bernie Kaufman. -Hi. George Webber. 1258 01:51:17,838 --> 01:51:20,089 SAMANTHA: Okay, I'll see you later. 1259 01:51:22,593 --> 01:51:26,596 -You two know each other? -I think we just met. 1260 01:51:26,764 --> 01:51:28,431 -Hi, Bernie. -Hi 1261 01:51:28,766 --> 01:51:31,142 -You know where the Scotch is. -No, I don't. 1262 01:51:31,435 --> 01:51:32,518 Make yourself at home. 1263 01:51:32,686 --> 01:51:34,479 -Nice meeting you. -Yeah. 1264 01:51:40,361 --> 01:51:42,612 [PHONE RINGS] 1265 01:51:45,574 --> 01:51:46,616 Yes? 1266 01:51:46,867 --> 01:51:50,286 -What did you do, work all night? -I did. Was it worth it? 1267 01:51:50,454 --> 01:51:52,080 As a matter of fact, it was. 1268 01:51:52,289 --> 01:51:53,873 One of your better lyrics. 1269 01:51:54,124 --> 01:51:57,168 I was inspired by one of your better melodies. 1270 01:51:57,795 --> 01:51:59,170 Hmm. 1271 01:52:00,130 --> 01:52:01,672 You don't sound happy. 1272 01:52:02,299 --> 01:52:04,801 I've always gone on the premise that... 1273 01:52:05,177 --> 01:52:07,387 ...to be happy, you have to feel happy. 1274 01:52:07,971 --> 01:52:09,263 How's Larry? 1275 01:52:11,308 --> 01:52:12,975 He's traveling abroad. 1276 01:52:13,310 --> 01:52:15,770 I got a telegram saying he might come back. 1277 01:52:15,979 --> 01:52:17,814 But due to some... 1278 01:52:18,774 --> 01:52:21,818 ...foolish pride, I don't think I'll take him back. 1279 01:52:23,487 --> 01:52:25,029 Have you seen Sam? 1280 01:52:25,906 --> 01:52:29,200 She's going out to dinner with Bernie Kaufman. 1281 01:52:30,911 --> 01:52:33,663 Don't do as I do. Do as I say. 1282 01:52:34,039 --> 01:52:36,124 Kill if you must, but don't lose her. 1283 01:52:36,333 --> 01:52:39,293 -I'll see you tomorrow. -All right. 1284 01:52:46,593 --> 01:52:48,845 [PLAYING] 1285 01:53:00,482 --> 01:53:04,485 [SINGING] It's easy to say 1286 01:53:06,321 --> 01:53:08,156 It's over 1287 01:53:12,244 --> 01:53:14,203 It's easy 1288 01:53:14,538 --> 01:53:16,205 To say 1289 01:53:18,083 --> 01:53:20,710 We're the best of friends 1290 01:53:22,713 --> 01:53:27,008 You walk away and for a while 1291 01:53:28,969 --> 01:53:31,888 You try the summer 1292 01:53:32,473 --> 01:53:35,683 Of a younger smile 1293 01:53:37,895 --> 01:53:42,482 But the memory never ends 1294 01:53:47,863 --> 01:53:52,074 You could lose your mind 1295 01:53:53,076 --> 01:53:55,912 But then you'll find 1296 01:53:59,082 --> 01:54:02,793 It's easy to say 1297 01:54:04,713 --> 01:54:06,047 I love you 1298 01:54:10,219 --> 01:54:14,222 There's only one way to say 1299 01:54:14,806 --> 01:54:17,517 I love you 1300 01:54:19,269 --> 01:54:22,897 BOTH: You could search the years away 1301 01:54:24,316 --> 01:54:27,860 That old cliché 1302 01:54:28,779 --> 01:54:30,780 Is the first of May 1303 01:54:31,031 --> 01:54:32,281 Too old... 1304 01:54:33,075 --> 01:54:36,118 ...for new love 1305 01:54:38,664 --> 01:54:42,124 It's easy to say 1306 01:54:44,419 --> 01:54:46,254 It's easy 1307 01:54:46,755 --> 01:54:50,132 As A, B, C 1308 01:54:51,093 --> 01:54:55,638 I love you 1309 01:54:58,308 --> 01:55:00,393 Love you 1310 01:55:03,855 --> 01:55:06,023 Love you 1311 01:55:11,280 --> 01:55:12,863 That is pretty. 1312 01:55:13,865 --> 01:55:16,325 Yeah. Thank you. 1313 01:55:17,703 --> 01:55:21,205 I was going to call it, "I Love You, Samantha"... 1314 01:55:22,082 --> 01:55:24,333 ...but some old hack got there before me. 1315 01:55:24,835 --> 01:55:27,003 It's the thought that counts. 1316 01:55:27,379 --> 01:55:28,754 Yeah. 1317 01:55:29,840 --> 01:55:31,424 Uh.... 1318 01:55:32,509 --> 01:55:34,176 -Sam? -Hm? 1319 01:55:39,600 --> 01:55:41,559 Do you want to get married? 1320 01:55:51,737 --> 01:55:53,154 No. 1321 01:55:53,405 --> 01:55:55,114 Oh, um.... 1322 01:55:56,199 --> 01:55:57,742 Why not? 1323 01:55:57,909 --> 01:55:59,702 Just as a matter of interest. 1324 01:55:59,870 --> 01:56:03,205 We spend too much time arguing and not enough making love. 1325 01:56:03,415 --> 01:56:06,208 I could work on that. 1326 01:56:06,376 --> 01:56:09,587 You know, just reverse that trend. 1327 01:56:10,213 --> 01:56:12,757 Make a lot of love, and just that much arguing. 1328 01:56:13,008 --> 01:56:15,551 -As easy as that? -You've got it. 1329 01:56:15,761 --> 01:56:18,054 It would make a difference. 1330 01:56:18,221 --> 01:56:20,681 So you'll think about it? 1331 01:56:21,683 --> 01:56:23,559 -Unless you want to argue. -Oh, no. 1332 01:56:25,395 --> 01:56:27,229 I want to make a cup of coffee. 1333 01:56:35,656 --> 01:56:37,073 And think about it. 1334 01:56:44,164 --> 01:56:46,248 GIRL: Any action? NEIGHBOR: Ehh. 1335 01:56:46,708 --> 01:56:49,877 She's in the kitchen. He's playing the piano. 1336 01:56:50,796 --> 01:56:52,213 And I've had it! 1337 01:56:53,048 --> 01:56:54,715 That's it, George! 1338 01:56:54,925 --> 01:56:58,761 For one year I've been providing X-rated entertainment... 1339 01:56:58,970 --> 01:57:02,306 ...and you reciprocate with PG! 1340 01:57:02,599 --> 01:57:05,559 It's an iniquitous arrangement! 1341 01:57:06,687 --> 01:57:09,480 -What's iniquitous? -I show him mine, he don't show his! 1342 01:57:09,731 --> 01:57:12,775 Come on, Rapunzel. From now on, we do it in the dark! 1343 01:57:39,970 --> 01:57:42,638 [RAVEL'S "BOLERO" PLAYS] 1344 01:57:52,274 --> 01:57:56,652 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 1345 02:02:14,077 --> 02:02:16,078 [ENGLISH - US - SDH]