1 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:11,195 It all started on New Year's Day, 33 and single. 2 00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:15,241 I went alone again 3 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:19,078 to the annual turkey and curry buffet from my mother. 4 00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:23,291 Every year she tries to hook me up to a middle-aged idiot 5 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:26,878 and I was scared that this year would be no exception. 6 00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:29,172 There you are, honey. 7 00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:31,758 My mother is a strange creature 8 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:34,761 from the time when a pickle was still chic. 9 00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:38,431 -Doilies, Pam? Hello, Bridget. -Third drawer from the top, Una 10 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,475 under the mini pickles. 11 00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:44,479 Besides, the Darcys are here. They took Mark with them. 12 00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:47,690 -Here we go again. -Do you remember Mark? 13 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:51,402 You played in his kiddie pool. He is a lawyer, makes good money. 14 00:01:51,487 --> 00:01:54,822 -No, I don't remember. -He seems to be divorced. 15 00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:59,660 His wife was Japanese. A very vicious breed. What are you wearing? 16 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:02,455 -This. -Don't be an idiot, Bridget. 17 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:03,623 That's not how you get a friend. 18 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,625 When it feels like you've come straight out of Auschwitz. 19 00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:09,212 Go upstairs. I put something beautiful on your bed. 20 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,390 Great. I wore a tablecloth. 21 00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,435 There she is. 22 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:28,231 My little Bridget. 23 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:32,109 -Hello, Uncle Geoffrey. -Do you have anything to drink? 24 00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:33,277 -No. -No? 25 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:35,321 -Come with me. -Actually, he's not my uncle. 26 00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:38,491 He wants me to call him "Uncle". while he squeezes my buttocks 27 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:41,911 and asks the question that every single person fears. 28 00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:46,916 -How is your love life? -Great. Thanks, Uncle G. 29 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,126 Still no guy? I know them. 30 00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:51,796 As a career girl you can't do it postpone forever. 31 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,297 Tick-tock. 32 00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:56,425 -Hello, Dad. -Hello, dear. 33 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,803 -How are you? -Miserable. 34 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:02,682 Your mother wants to hook you up to a divorced guy. 35 00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:07,228 Human rights lawyer. Doesn't seem real to be pleasant. 36 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,647 Who? Ding dong. 37 00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:12,984 Maybe Mom is doing well now. 38 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:16,404 Come. Maybe Mark would like a pickle. 39 00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:17,822 Success. 40 00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:19,657 Mark. 41 00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:23,077 Maybe this is the mystery man 42 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:25,955 who I have wanted to meet all my life. 43 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,624 You remember Bridget. 44 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,459 Maybe not. 45 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:34,463 She ran naked across your lawn, remember? 46 00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,632 Not really. 47 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,554 Check the gravy, Pam. I think it needs to be sieved. 48 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:45,016 Of course not. You just have to stir it. 49 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:50,146 Yes, of course. I'm coming. Sorry. Lumpy gravy is calling. 50 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:57,028 -So. -So. 51 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,407 Are you staying with your parents for New Year's Eve? 52 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,368 -Yes. And you? -Oh, no, no. 53 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:08,414 I was at a party in London yesterday. I think I have a hangover. 54 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:12,001 I wish I could hang above the toilet like a normal person. 55 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:18,507 The good intention, drink less and stop smoking. 56 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,513 And stick to good intentions. 57 00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:32,396 And stop talking nonsense against strangers. 58 00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:34,857 Actually, stop talking altogether. 59 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:38,235 Maybe it's time to eat something. 60 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:44,700 Apparently she lives just around the corner from you. 61 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,119 Mom, I don't need a blind date. 62 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,830 Certainly not with a verbally incontinent spinster 63 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:54,293 who smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish and dresses like her mother. 64 00:04:56,546 --> 00:05:01,384 Tasty. Turkey with curry. My favorite food. 65 00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:04,553 That's it. 66 00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:07,848 That was the moment. 67 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:13,437 I suddenly realized that if something didn't change soon, 68 00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,940 me for the rest of my life would have a close relationship 69 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,817 with a bottle of wine 70 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:20,987 and would eventually die fat and alone 71 00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:24,824 and three weeks later was found eaten by dogs. 72 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:28,744 Or I became a kind of Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. 73 00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:35,918 All alone 74 00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:43,092 I don't want to be that All alone 75 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:46,679 Not anymore 76 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,889 There are no messages. 77 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:18,377 When I was young 78 00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:22,631 I never needed anyone 79 00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:29,138 And love was just for fun 80 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:33,768 That time is over 81 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:43,778 All alone 82 00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:46,655 I don't want to be that 83 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:51,243 All alone 84 00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:56,457 Not anymore 85 00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:17,812 All alone 86 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,648 I don't want to live 87 00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:24,110 So I made an important decision. 88 00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:26,946 I had to take care of it that I won't drink next year 89 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:31,408 and sits sadly listening to the radio to music for over 30. 90 00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:34,620 I decided to take control of my life and start a diary 91 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:35,746 Weight: 61.7 kg, cigarettes: 42, units of alcohol: 50 92 00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:40,000 for the truth and nothing but the truth about Bridget Jones. 93 00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:45,506 Intention number one is clear: Lose 9 kg. 94 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:49,176 Number two: yesterday's underwear always put in the laundry basket. 95 00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:53,139 Just as important: find kind, sensible friend to go out with 96 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:56,725 and not engage in a romantic relationship with the following people: 97 00:07:56,852 --> 00:07:59,270 alcoholics, workaholics, people with conviction, 98 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:02,523 lurkers, megalomaniacals, emotional brats, perverts. 99 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:06,861 And especially don't fantasize about a person 100 00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:09,530 who has all this in him. 101 00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:22,042 Unfortunately, he happens to be my boss, 102 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:26,172 editor-in-chief Daniel Cleaver and for dishonest reasons, 103 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:31,468 in connection with Christmas this year, I don't think he fantasizes about me. 104 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:38,684 I can't live 105 00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:42,104 If it's a life without you 106 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:46,817 I can't live 107 00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,444 I can't give anymore 108 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,321 Or maybe I'm wrong. 109 00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:06,420 -Happy New Year, Mr. Fitzherbert. -Happy New Year, Brenda. 110 00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,215 Mr Fitzherbert. More "Tit Pervert". 111 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,175 Daniel's boss staring at my breasts 112 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,802 without knowing who I am or what I do. 113 00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:17,348 Good morning. I want Kafka's Motorbike at 1 1 .00 o'clock. 114 00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:18,682 Perpetua. 115 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:22,519 Slightly higher in rank and thinks she's my boss. 116 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:26,315 Usually what I want most stapling things to her head. 117 00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,652 -Publicity. -I just asked 118 00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:33,072 whether he wanted to go to Paris for a short holiday. 119 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,366 Daily call from Jude. Best friend. 120 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:38,911 Head of Investments at Brightlings Bank, that usually 121 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,789 is crying in the ladies' toilet about her idiot boyfriend. 122 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,875 Do I need constant attention? Am I too dependent? 123 00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:50,339 No, it's not you. You're okay. It's that damned Richard. 124 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,509 He's a huge jerk without a jerk. 125 00:09:55,679 --> 00:10:00,266 That is sometimes the opinion about Kafka, 126 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:01,976 but they are so wrong. 127 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:05,396 This book is an intense vision on the wounds inflicted by this century 128 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,648 on traditional masculinity. 129 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,359 It's so Vonnegut. 130 00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:13,487 Thanks for the call, Professor Leavis. 131 00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:16,824 Guest list for publication day. 132 00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,162 F.R. Leavis? 133 00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:26,834 Wow. 134 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:32,881 The F.R. Leavis that Mass Civilization and Minority Culture wrote? 135 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,761 The F.R. Leavis who died in 1978? 136 00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,224 Unbelievable. 137 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:49,440 Emergency meeting with city family for clear conversation about career crisis. 138 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,775 They can all fuck off. 139 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:55,738 Tell them shit-Leavis can stick up their ass. 140 00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,407 Good. That was very useful. 141 00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:02,036 Shazza, journalist. Likes to say "fuck" a lot. 142 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,330 Jude, what would you do? as one of your assistants 143 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,332 makes such an innocent mistake? 144 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:09,168 -I would fire you. -Fine. 145 00:11:10,045 --> 00:11:13,630 -Is that Cleaver still as nice? -Oh, God, yes. 146 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:16,759 Then a good turn is in order. 147 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:20,012 -Oh, you would. -Did you sing that? 148 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,638 Yes. 149 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:25,893 Tom, pop idol from the 80s who only wrote one hit 150 00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:28,562 and then stopped because he found that one record was enough 151 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,773 to be able to fuck the whole 90s. 152 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:33,859 -Well, great song. -Thank you very much. 153 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,362 -Gay through and through, of course. -Some more vodka? 154 00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:39,865 -No. -Yes, fill it up. 155 00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:43,077 At least now that I'm in my 30s I can handle it. 156 00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:49,792 -Think about the step. -I'm fine. Drive on. 157 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,380 F.R. Apparently Leavis is coming. 158 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,592 Good afternoon, Bridget. 159 00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:01,637 What do you mean, you're going on vacation? 160 00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:04,390 And what about Julia? 161 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,062 You have received new mail Read now 162 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:13,816 From: -Daniel Cleaver Subject: -Serious problem 163 00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:14,983 Yes. 164 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:17,569 Very difficult. 165 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,780 He went to the meeting. 166 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,574 Then the biography. Yes. 167 00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:25,327 You forgot your skirt. 168 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,332 Could skirt be sick?? 169 00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:37,506 We have a problem with the Teddy Knows Best campaign. 170 00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:42,094 The only problem is the kitchen. 171 00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:46,723 -It's too small... -Message Mr Cleaver. 172 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,309 Message upsets me. 173 00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:53,564 Rok is clearly not sick or absent. 174 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:57,901 Management appalls me due to attitude about skirt lengths. 175 00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:01,530 Suggest management is sick, not skirt. 176 00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:16,753 Correct. Yes. 177 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:21,216 No, I understand that. I understand that completely. 178 00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:28,891 Very bad start to the year. 179 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:32,019 Am seduced by informal messaging medium 180 00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:34,229 to flirting with office scoundrels. 181 00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:38,525 Will continue with intention to find a kind, sensible man. 182 00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:41,778 Will stop flirting. Tomorrow morning. 183 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:43,780 Good plan. 184 00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:56,001 If walking past the office attempt to show skirt was, 185 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:59,296 then it failed miserably. Cleave. 186 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,841 Quiet, please. I'm very busy and am very important. 187 00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:07,763 P.S. How dare you treat me in this brazen way to sexually intimidate? 188 00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:10,849 Message Jones. Terrified of having been offensive. 189 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:14,728 Must have politically incorrect ulterior motives avoid in future. 190 00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,397 P.S. Nice tits in that top. 191 00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:24,071 Of course it has to be don't attach too much importance to it. 192 00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:30,953 And of course it started with irresponsible emails 193 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:33,455 about Bridget's non-existent skirt. 194 00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:43,674 Daniel. 195 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:48,387 -The New York office for you. -Tell them I'll call back. 196 00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:01,149 Daniel. 197 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:02,693 Jones. 198 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:05,779 -Good evening, Kenneth. -Good evening, Daniel. 199 00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:12,327 I want to talk to you for a moment before you leave tonight. 200 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,288 Yes, of course. 201 00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:18,750 -See you soon. -Excellent. 202 00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,460 -And Brenda? -Yes. 203 00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:23,297 With that Kafka's Motorbike thing it seems nice to me 204 00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:27,968 if you introduce me before I introduce him. Makes it important. 205 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,054 Certainly. 206 00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:34,641 Brenda. 207 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,310 Kafka's Motorbike "The best book of today" 208 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:38,937 -What are you doing tonight? -I'm busy. 209 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:41,565 Correct. That's a shame then... 210 00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:45,777 I thought it would be fun to take your skirt out to dinner 211 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:47,029 and make it a little thicker. 212 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,114 Maybe you can come too. 213 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,618 -And tomorrow? -No. 214 00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:55,746 -Tomorrow the book will be presented. -Yes, of course. 215 00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:58,582 Probably the worst book ever published. 216 00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:01,376 But we did not follow that advertising line. 217 00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:05,547 -The night after. -We'll see, okay? 218 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,216 Good night, Daniel. 219 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:13,055 I'm not pressuring you, but your future happiness 220 00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:16,016 Now it depends on how you go about this social occasion. 221 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:19,770 -What should I do? -Firstly, looking gorgeous. 222 00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,451 God. 223 00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:39,039 Secondly, completely ignoring Daniel and the famous authors flatter. 224 00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:42,542 Salman. 225 00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:44,461 Go from one to the other, 226 00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,672 radiate intelligence. 227 00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:52,177 Isn't it awful about the Czech Republic? Isn't it awful about the Czech Republic? 228 00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:53,512 Czech Republic. 229 00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:56,390 Introduce people with thoughtful details such as: 230 00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:59,559 Sheila, this is Daniel. Daniel, this is Sheila. 231 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:02,729 Sheila loves horse riding and is from New Zealand. 232 00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:04,731 Daniel likes to spend and comes... 233 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:07,067 -In your face? -Precisely. 234 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:12,864 I'm very sorry to interrupt you during your dinner. 235 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:15,617 -But... -Yes, it was me. 236 00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:20,247 Yes. Nine years ago. No plans to record anything else. 237 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,916 -Thank you very much. -But 238 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,336 your chair is on my wife's coat. 239 00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:30,716 -Your seat, but... -Of course. 240 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,969 -I'm terribly sorry. -Thank you very much. 241 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:36,012 Big dilemma. 242 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:39,516 If I happen to be caught, 243 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,853 then this would be the nicest and most crucial moment. 244 00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:46,273 But the opportunity is the crucial moment to achieve increases enormously 245 00:17:46,357 --> 00:17:49,443 by wearing that scary one, belly-containing pants 246 00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:52,320 those all over the world being so popular with grandmas. 247 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,866 Difficult. Very difficult. 248 00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:14,718 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the presentation 249 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:17,095 from Kafka's Motorbike, "The best book of today." 250 00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:20,015 It is presented by Mr Tietpervert. 251 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:23,310 Fitzherbert. Fitzherbert. Fitzherbert. 252 00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:27,939 Okay, from one to the other, radiate intelligence. 253 00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:31,318 Ignore Daniel and be fabulous with everyone else. 254 00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:35,197 I am the intellectual equal from everyone here. 255 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:40,660 It's a theory of short fiction and of the short novel, you know. 256 00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:43,830 The problem with Martin's definition of the short novel 257 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,458 is that it applies only to him. 258 00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:51,046 That doesn't sound like Martin. 259 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:55,217 Maybe I'm wrong. What do you think? 260 00:18:58,221 --> 00:18:59,721 You know 261 00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,683 where are the toilets? 262 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:09,022 Stay calm. It can't get any worse. 263 00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:16,905 -What are you doing here? -I asked myself that question too. 264 00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:20,742 I came with a colleague. How are you? 265 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,036 Except I'm very disappointed 266 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:26,748 that I don't see my favorite reindeer sweater, are you doing well? 267 00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:29,584 Is someone going to introduce me? 268 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:32,712 Introduce people with thoughtful details. 269 00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:36,007 Perpetua, this is Mark Darcy. 270 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:40,011 Mark is a premature old fart, with an ex-wife of a cruel breed. 271 00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:44,224 Perpetua is a fat pig who bullies me. 272 00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:46,893 Maybe not. 273 00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:48,895 Is someone going to introduce me? 274 00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:50,230 Perpetua. 275 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,108 This is Mark Darcy. 276 00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:56,987 Mark is a top lawyer. He's from Grafton Underwood. 277 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,239 Perpetua is a colleague of mine. 278 00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:02,325 Hi, Mark. I know you by your reputation. 279 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,495 Natasha. 280 00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:08,039 This is Bridget Jones. Bridget, this is Natasha. 281 00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:11,501 Natasha is a top lawyer and specializes in family law. 282 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:16,006 Bridget works in publishing and used to play naked in my pool. 283 00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:17,966 How bizarre. 284 00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:22,512 -Perpetua, how's the house hunting going? -Disastrous. 285 00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,931 I can't even begin to think about it. 286 00:20:25,016 --> 00:20:30,145 -By the way, what a wonderful man. -Yes, Mark. 287 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:33,315 Give me time. 288 00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:38,570 You wrote "an intense vision", but do you remember the rest? 289 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:41,865 On the wounds inflicted by this century on traditional masculinity. 290 00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:44,576 “So Vonnegut.” Clearly. 291 00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,580 Do you know where the toilets are here? 292 00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:51,499 -Yes. That way. -Thank you. 293 00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,172 One, two. 294 00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:01,843 Ladies and gentlemen. 295 00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:04,012 Hello. 296 00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:08,683 Ladies and... 297 00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:19,402 Sorry, the microphone isn't working. 298 00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:22,822 Ladies and gentlemen, 299 00:21:23,366 --> 00:21:28,036 welcome to the presentation from Kafka's Motorbike 300 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,705 "The best book of today." 301 00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:39,839 Besides your books, of course, Mr Rushdie, 302 00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:43,176 which are also very good. 303 00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:47,889 And Lord Archer. 304 00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:51,434 Yours aren't bad either. 305 00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:54,604 What I mean is... 306 00:21:55,398 --> 00:21:57,399 Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. 307 00:21:57,525 --> 00:22:03,822 Thank you for coming to the presentation of one of the top 30 books of today. 308 00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:07,242 At the very least. 309 00:22:07,702 --> 00:22:11,746 To properly introduce the book, 310 00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:14,749 here is the man we all know as 311 00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:17,585 Tit pervert. 312 00:22:17,712 --> 00:22:18,878 Sir... 313 00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:20,046 Tit pervert. 314 00:22:20,131 --> 00:22:21,423 Sir... 315 00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:24,050 Tit pervert. 316 00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:25,552 Fitzherbert. 317 00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:30,432 Because that's his name. 318 00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:33,893 Mr Fitzherbert. 319 00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:36,312 Thank you. 320 00:22:41,569 --> 00:22:43,153 Thank you, Brenda. 321 00:22:44,405 --> 00:22:46,114 You just turn it on. 322 00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:53,538 How autobiographical is your work, Salman? 323 00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:56,833 It's amazing. No one has ever asked me that. 324 00:22:56,917 --> 00:22:58,251 Excuse me. 325 00:22:59,462 --> 00:23:03,590 Jones, don't worry about them. It was brilliant 326 00:23:03,674 --> 00:23:08,053 postmodernist masterpiece. Oratorical fireworks, really. 327 00:23:10,181 --> 00:23:12,223 You look very sexy, Jones. 328 00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:13,850 I'm taking you out to dinner now, 329 00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:16,352 whether you like it or not, okay? 330 00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:18,646 Come on. Grab your things. 331 00:23:25,613 --> 00:23:28,239 What do you think about the whole situation in the Czech Republic? 332 00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:30,617 -Isn't it a nightmare? -I don't give a damn. 333 00:23:30,701 --> 00:23:34,120 How do you know Arsey Darcy? 334 00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:38,958 Apparently I was naked around in his pool. 335 00:23:39,043 --> 00:23:41,377 Surely, lustful woman. 336 00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:45,131 -And you? -Also. 337 00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:49,135 No, I was best man at his wedding. 338 00:23:50,513 --> 00:23:54,099 -Knew him from Cambridge. Buddy. -And then? 339 00:23:55,017 --> 00:23:58,186 Then nothing. 340 00:23:58,312 --> 00:24:01,106 You don't have to protect him. He's not a friend of mine. 341 00:24:01,190 --> 00:24:04,818 Well then, many years later 342 00:24:05,528 --> 00:24:08,905 I made the catastrophic mistake 343 00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:13,159 to introduce him to my fiancée. 344 00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:17,997 And... 345 00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:24,879 Honestly I never really forgave him. 346 00:24:25,172 --> 00:24:26,548 God. So 347 00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:32,303 he's a nasty bastard, a boring one at that. 348 00:24:32,388 --> 00:24:34,681 Yes, that's correct. 349 00:24:35,224 --> 00:24:37,684 Let him fuck off. Don't let him ruin our evening. 350 00:24:37,768 --> 00:24:39,477 Have some more wine 351 00:24:39,562 --> 00:24:41,479 and tell me more about practicing French kissing 352 00:24:41,564 --> 00:24:42,605 with the girls at school. 353 00:24:42,690 --> 00:24:45,066 -That's a nice story. -No French kissing. 354 00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:48,153 It doesn't matter. Make something up. That's an order. 355 00:24:48,237 --> 00:24:50,947 Shall we have a drink at my place? 356 00:24:51,574 --> 00:24:55,410 Completely innocent, no fiddling, just full on sex. 357 00:24:56,620 --> 00:25:00,123 No. I'll take a taxi. 358 00:25:00,249 --> 00:25:03,418 But thanks for the wonderful dinner. 359 00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:08,423 A pleasure, Jones. 360 00:25:54,637 --> 00:25:57,722 These are crazy boots, Jones. 361 00:25:58,474 --> 00:26:01,142 And this is a crazy dress 362 00:26:01,644 --> 00:26:04,979 and this is 363 00:26:05,648 --> 00:26:08,566 Jesus, huge underpants. 364 00:26:08,651 --> 00:26:12,153 -Jesus. Shit. -No excuses. I think it's beautiful. 365 00:26:12,988 --> 00:26:14,656 Hi, Mommy. 366 00:26:18,035 --> 00:26:19,744 Sorry. I'll have to look again. 367 00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:21,120 -Too good to be true. -No. 368 00:26:21,205 --> 00:26:22,330 You don't have to be ashamed. 369 00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:25,416 I wear something like that too. Look. I'll show you. 370 00:26:25,501 --> 00:26:26,834 No. 371 00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:38,805 Weight: 59.5 kg Replaced food with sex. 372 00:26:38,889 --> 00:26:41,891 Cigarettes: 22... all after sex 373 00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:53,111 That was fantastic. 374 00:26:56,532 --> 00:26:58,032 -Daniel. -Yes? 375 00:26:58,409 --> 00:27:00,535 What's happening in the office? 376 00:27:02,037 --> 00:27:04,080 I'm glad you asked that. Well, 377 00:27:04,164 --> 00:27:08,084 it's a publishing house, so that means that people write for us, 378 00:27:08,210 --> 00:27:10,795 that we print it and bind it together 379 00:27:10,879 --> 00:27:13,047 into what we call a "book", Jones. 380 00:27:13,924 --> 00:27:16,426 No, do you think people will notice? 381 00:27:17,386 --> 00:27:19,220 -What brands? -Us. 382 00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:23,057 -Work together, sleep together. -Wait a minute. 383 00:27:23,183 --> 00:27:27,562 Calm down. It started on Tuesday, now it's Thursday. 384 00:27:28,731 --> 00:27:32,734 It's not certain a long-term relationship, right? 385 00:27:34,236 --> 00:27:38,072 You're bad. 386 00:27:46,415 --> 00:27:50,960 Bridget Jones, frivolous sex goddess, with a bad man between her thighs. 387 00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:54,464 Mom. Hi. 388 00:27:54,757 --> 00:27:57,050 It is a truth universally acknowledged 389 00:27:57,134 --> 00:28:00,678 that at the moment that something goes well in your life, 390 00:28:00,763 --> 00:28:04,640 something else falls apart. 391 00:28:05,225 --> 00:28:08,811 Anyone want an oeuf? Don't be shy, madam. 392 00:28:09,313 --> 00:28:10,438 French. 393 00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:14,442 Just use the egg peeler. 394 00:28:15,778 --> 00:28:18,279 Nice, firm grip. 395 00:28:20,157 --> 00:28:21,949 Put it in the hole. 396 00:28:22,785 --> 00:28:27,288 Up, down, up, down and it comes into your hand. 397 00:28:29,458 --> 00:28:31,793 Watch out for the spraying. Sorry. 398 00:28:34,797 --> 00:28:38,383 Even if I had my underpants on my head, even then he wouldn't notice. 399 00:28:38,467 --> 00:28:40,551 I cleaned his house for 35 years, 400 00:28:40,636 --> 00:28:43,554 washed his clothes, raised his children. 401 00:28:43,639 --> 00:28:45,098 I am also your child. 402 00:28:45,182 --> 00:28:48,726 To be fair, having children is not as claimed. 403 00:28:48,811 --> 00:28:51,729 If I had the chance again, I might not have had one. 404 00:28:51,814 --> 00:28:55,900 Now I'm in my twilight years and have nothing of my own. 405 00:28:55,984 --> 00:28:59,153 No power, no real career, 406 00:28:59,238 --> 00:29:02,073 no sex life. 407 00:29:02,157 --> 00:29:05,660 No life at all. I'm like a cricket who has been singing all summer. 408 00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:08,496 -Just like that stupid Germaine Geer. -Greer. 409 00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:12,417 Well, I've had enough. I have been spotted as a talent. 410 00:29:12,835 --> 00:29:15,503 Julian thinks I'm promising. 411 00:29:15,587 --> 00:29:18,673 -Who is Julian? -From the Thuiswinkelnet. 412 00:29:18,757 --> 00:29:20,675 Comes to get his hair dyed. 413 00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:22,343 Promising for what? 414 00:29:22,428 --> 00:29:26,514 As a demonstrator for his show. As his assistant. 415 00:29:26,682 --> 00:29:28,975 Apparently his show has the best ratings. 416 00:29:29,059 --> 00:29:32,270 Except the one about fat people who beat up their families. 417 00:29:32,354 --> 00:29:35,565 I have to go. Have you heard of Mark Darcy? 418 00:29:36,358 --> 00:29:37,859 Bye, mom. 419 00:29:46,702 --> 00:29:48,202 Julian. 420 00:29:50,956 --> 00:29:52,874 Sorry to keep you waiting. 421 00:29:59,089 --> 00:30:03,551 A few weeks later it got even worse. 422 00:30:03,719 --> 00:30:06,429 -Hello. -Look. 423 00:30:06,638 --> 00:30:09,307 ...on this heart-shaped pendant. 424 00:30:09,391 --> 00:30:12,143 What I personally recommend, 425 00:30:12,227 --> 00:30:17,398 these are stunningly beautiful matching necklace and earrings. 426 00:30:17,816 --> 00:30:23,070 The earrings, just an inch in size, 427 00:30:23,238 --> 00:30:27,325 with real rhinestones, topas and lapis lazuli 428 00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:30,244 set in imitation gold. 429 00:30:30,579 --> 00:30:34,457 The exact replica worn in Wimbledon in 1993 430 00:30:34,583 --> 00:30:37,418 by Her Royal Highness, the Countess of Kent. 431 00:30:39,505 --> 00:30:40,713 Well... 432 00:30:41,757 --> 00:30:44,175 Is she really gone? 433 00:30:44,927 --> 00:30:48,095 Apparently she and that dopey idiot 434 00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:49,347 suddenly a couple. 435 00:30:49,431 --> 00:30:52,391 Half our friends invite them for dinner. 436 00:30:52,476 --> 00:30:56,521 She even brought Yellow Julian with her to Una Alconbury's whore party. 437 00:30:56,605 --> 00:30:59,190 That's not the Pamela I knew. That's cruel. 438 00:30:59,274 --> 00:31:03,819 Maybe 439 00:31:04,446 --> 00:31:06,781 if you during the whole party 440 00:31:06,865 --> 00:31:10,034 flirts with other women Mom goes crazy with jealousy. 441 00:31:10,118 --> 00:31:12,620 -Do you think? -That's how I found my husband. 442 00:31:13,539 --> 00:31:16,666 Do you have a boyfriend? A real one? 443 00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:21,963 Yes. And he's perfect. 444 00:31:41,858 --> 00:31:45,736 Hurrah. I'm not a tragic one spinster lake, 445 00:31:45,821 --> 00:31:48,990 but real girlfriend of a real sex god, 446 00:31:49,074 --> 00:31:54,328 who loves me so much that he takes me away on a holiday weekend. 447 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,290 Just promise me that we shouldn't be in small boats 448 00:31:57,374 --> 00:31:59,125 and have to read poetry to each other. 449 00:31:59,209 --> 00:32:00,585 He also promised to protect me 450 00:32:00,669 --> 00:32:04,088 at Uncle Geoffrey's costume party as whores and ministers. 451 00:32:04,172 --> 00:32:08,009 This isn't just about sex. A short vacation means real love. 452 00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:14,265 I suddenly feel like a movie goddess as Grace Kelly. 453 00:32:17,185 --> 00:32:21,564 Although perhaps a little less elegant under pressure. 454 00:32:25,402 --> 00:32:28,446 Very quiet, don't you think? Are we the only guests or... 455 00:32:28,530 --> 00:32:30,865 There's a wedding this weekend. 456 00:32:31,033 --> 00:32:33,993 There are only four people that don't belong. 457 00:32:35,871 --> 00:32:38,205 You do the boats. I make the tea. 458 00:32:39,875 --> 00:32:42,043 -Oh, Jesus. -Hello. 459 00:32:42,210 --> 00:32:43,252 Hi. 460 00:32:44,296 --> 00:32:45,671 Look. 461 00:32:46,131 --> 00:32:49,133 You will definitely go too to the Alconbury's rock garden. 462 00:32:49,217 --> 00:32:52,637 -Yes, indeed. -I brought Natasha. 463 00:32:52,888 --> 00:32:57,308 Had to do some more work. So I wanted to take advantage of the weekend. 464 00:32:57,392 --> 00:33:00,519 How interesting. What a fascinating life you lead. 465 00:33:00,604 --> 00:33:03,356 I'll see you upstairs later. 466 00:33:18,288 --> 00:33:19,997 The weakness of their case 467 00:33:20,082 --> 00:33:22,667 lies in the witness statement on August 30. 468 00:33:22,751 --> 00:33:27,755 “Season of fog and gentle fruitlessness" 469 00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:30,925 I love Keats. Have you heard this one? 470 00:33:31,259 --> 00:33:35,805 "A pole dancer from Spangen wants to punish her ex-boyfriend 471 00:33:36,306 --> 00:33:39,141 "It's a must rather than passion or lust 472 00:33:39,434 --> 00:33:41,310 "to hang around for an evening" 473 00:33:41,395 --> 00:33:43,938 -Now get something. Shit. -What are you doing? 474 00:33:44,147 --> 00:33:47,358 -I'm coming on board. I see no alternative. -Try it. 475 00:33:47,442 --> 00:33:49,819 -I am king of the world. -No. 476 00:33:49,945 --> 00:33:51,112 Shit. 477 00:33:56,618 --> 00:34:00,329 -Shit. That's enough. -Idiot. 478 00:34:02,624 --> 00:34:03,791 Shit. 479 00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:07,878 -Okay. -Shit, no. 480 00:34:08,213 --> 00:34:09,672 So childish. 481 00:34:11,717 --> 00:34:12,842 Yes. 482 00:34:13,135 --> 00:34:16,470 Darce, come in. The water is wonderful. 483 00:34:17,013 --> 00:34:19,682 Come on, you're working too hard, buddy. 484 00:34:21,685 --> 00:34:24,270 -Daniel. -Yes, Bridget. 485 00:34:24,354 --> 00:34:28,023 What you just did is illegal in many countries. 486 00:34:28,150 --> 00:34:32,153 That is of course the biggest reason that I am so happy to live here. 487 00:34:32,237 --> 00:34:34,905 Yes, I don't understand why the Prime Minister 488 00:34:34,990 --> 00:34:37,491 doesn't say it more often in his speeches. 489 00:34:37,576 --> 00:34:40,661 -You should write to him about it. -I plan to. 490 00:34:43,999 --> 00:34:46,751 -Daniel. -Bridget. 491 00:34:47,043 --> 00:34:50,546 -Do you love me? -Shut your mouth or I'll do it again. 492 00:34:52,507 --> 00:34:56,010 -Do you love me? -Okay. You asked for it. 493 00:34:56,511 --> 00:34:58,512 And hop. 494 00:34:58,847 --> 00:35:00,848 I'll give you something to bite into. 495 00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:04,268 Here. Okay? Put this in your mouth, baby. 496 00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:08,814 You beg for it. 497 00:35:09,232 --> 00:35:10,566 Stop it. 498 00:35:25,207 --> 00:35:29,251 I have to go back to town. There's a meeting. 499 00:35:30,253 --> 00:35:32,630 -On a Sunday? -No, early tomorrow morning. 500 00:35:32,714 --> 00:35:34,882 I need to check some numbers. 501 00:35:34,966 --> 00:35:38,010 We can just for a moment 502 00:35:38,094 --> 00:35:42,807 -to the party and leaving very early. -I'm really sorry. I just can't. 503 00:35:42,891 --> 00:35:44,767 I have to go back. 504 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:49,730 Listen, if you've changed your mind, you can just say that. 505 00:35:49,940 --> 00:35:52,650 Because really, I don't see what's so important. 506 00:35:52,734 --> 00:35:54,652 No, well, you wouldn't see that either, would you? 507 00:35:54,736 --> 00:35:56,612 Because you have no idea 508 00:35:56,696 --> 00:35:59,240 how bad the company is doing. 509 00:35:59,324 --> 00:36:03,160 You come in your short skirt and see-through blouse sail in 510 00:36:03,245 --> 00:36:04,995 and make a fool of yourself to the press. 511 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,873 The Americans are coming over because they want to close down the company, 512 00:36:07,958 --> 00:36:09,625 damn. 513 00:36:13,129 --> 00:36:14,296 Sorry. 514 00:36:16,007 --> 00:36:18,551 I'm sorry, I'm an idiot. 515 00:36:26,434 --> 00:36:28,936 I'll arrange a nice car to come pick you up 516 00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:31,063 and return to London after the party. 517 00:36:31,147 --> 00:36:34,275 If you have to travel alone, then in style. 518 00:36:35,318 --> 00:36:39,029 And I think it's very important 519 00:36:39,447 --> 00:36:42,366 that you win that costume contest. 520 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,620 Good start. 521 00:36:48,874 --> 00:36:51,667 And, Miss Jones, where does this go? 522 00:36:54,504 --> 00:36:56,964 Here we go. 523 00:36:58,133 --> 00:37:02,553 I try hard to repress an image of Mom and Aunt Una in fishnet stockings. 524 00:37:02,637 --> 00:37:05,598 It seems unnatural, even wrong, for 60 year olds 525 00:37:05,682 --> 00:37:09,476 around on a Sunday afternoon to dress up as whores and priests. 526 00:37:13,815 --> 00:37:16,025 Oh my goodness. 527 00:37:17,819 --> 00:37:19,069 Bridget. 528 00:37:19,195 --> 00:37:23,073 -Where are the whores and pastors? -Oh, dear. Didn't Geoffrey call you? 529 00:37:23,158 --> 00:37:24,742 Didn't you call Colin and Bridget? 530 00:37:24,826 --> 00:37:27,077 How is my little Bridget? 531 00:37:29,748 --> 00:37:32,958 -Geoffrey. -Where's that guy of yours? 532 00:37:33,043 --> 00:37:36,378 -He had to work, so... -Sure. 533 00:37:36,504 --> 00:37:37,922 They're gone. 534 00:37:42,427 --> 00:37:45,054 It's strange what men find attractive. 535 00:37:46,431 --> 00:37:48,432 -Oh, God. -Favorite. 536 00:37:48,516 --> 00:37:49,808 Geoffrey. 537 00:37:49,893 --> 00:37:53,562 What are you wearing? You look like a whore. 538 00:37:53,688 --> 00:37:57,066 -That was the intention. -Say goodbye to Julian. 539 00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:58,943 Hello, Julian. 540 00:37:59,027 --> 00:38:02,196 You and your mother could have been sisters. 541 00:38:03,865 --> 00:38:07,409 And what a beautiful bracelet. That's what I call an "all-rounder". 542 00:38:07,535 --> 00:38:11,080 Something you always do can wear on any occasion. 543 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:16,710 -Have you spoken to my father? -Yes. He's acting strange. 544 00:38:16,795 --> 00:38:20,881 He tries to flirt with Penny Husbands-Bosworth, poor thing. 545 00:38:20,966 --> 00:38:24,551 She was very scared. Her ovaries have just been removed. 546 00:38:29,391 --> 00:38:32,601 -I don't know what you ever saw in him. -Bad man. 547 00:38:42,070 --> 00:38:44,238 Didn't he tell you too? 548 00:38:47,075 --> 00:38:50,077 Luckily I didn't spend that much as Bernard. 549 00:38:56,626 --> 00:39:00,087 -I'm sorry, Dad. -The way she looked at me. 550 00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:03,173 She really loves you. 551 00:39:03,258 --> 00:39:07,094 You love each other. This is only temporary. 552 00:39:07,470 --> 00:39:09,930 Oh, yes? Don't know. 553 00:39:10,932 --> 00:39:12,433 Don't know. 554 00:39:16,104 --> 00:39:19,648 Bridget. There you are. No problem. You're not alone. 555 00:39:19,774 --> 00:39:22,192 This is Penny. Geoffrey didn't call her either. 556 00:39:22,277 --> 00:39:23,277 Sorry? 557 00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:25,279 I just said Geoffrey doesn't have you either 558 00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:27,948 said that the idea of whores and pastors did not continue. 559 00:39:28,033 --> 00:39:31,035 -Yes, well. -Correct. 560 00:39:31,369 --> 00:39:34,705 Beautiful dress. Very exotic. 561 00:39:38,293 --> 00:39:40,878 Too bad your friend couldn't come. What's his name? 562 00:39:40,962 --> 00:39:43,130 -David? Darren? -Daniel Cleaver. 563 00:39:43,548 --> 00:39:46,383 -Is he a friend of yours, Mark? -Absolutely not. 564 00:39:46,468 --> 00:39:48,886 I hope he's good enough for our little Bridget. 565 00:39:48,970 --> 00:39:51,722 I can say with confidence that he is not. 566 00:39:51,806 --> 00:39:55,726 He would say the same about you, given your past behavior. 567 00:39:55,810 --> 00:39:58,812 -Sorry? -You know what I mean. 568 00:39:58,897 --> 00:39:59,980 Mark. 569 00:40:14,662 --> 00:40:18,248 I believe Aunt Shirley didn't get the message either. 570 00:40:26,883 --> 00:40:28,008 Hi. 571 00:40:28,718 --> 00:40:32,012 I wanted it so badly see a friendly face. 572 00:40:32,222 --> 00:40:34,848 Listen. I'll tell you what. I have an idea. 573 00:40:34,933 --> 00:40:38,769 I'll finish this so you can get home you can sit in a nice warm bath, 574 00:40:38,853 --> 00:40:42,397 Then I'll come over and we'll eat together, okay? 575 00:40:44,692 --> 00:40:48,612 -Is there anyone with you? -Not that I know of. 576 00:40:49,114 --> 00:40:52,574 Unless that family from Bosnia has been withdrawn again. 577 00:41:06,422 --> 00:41:09,049 Sorry. 578 00:41:12,095 --> 00:41:13,971 I'm going crazy. 579 00:41:14,055 --> 00:41:16,557 I really feel bad. I should have been there today. 580 00:41:16,641 --> 00:41:17,641 No, I'm sorry. 581 00:41:17,725 --> 00:41:20,978 No, me. At least I have a lot of work done, as you can see. 582 00:41:21,062 --> 00:41:23,105 -Yes. -Just one more hour, okay? 583 00:41:23,231 --> 00:41:27,317 Good. I'm going home to de-rabbit. 584 00:41:30,655 --> 00:41:34,116 And you remember that I said I love you last night? 585 00:41:35,785 --> 00:41:38,537 I didn't mean it. It was meant ironically. 586 00:41:39,164 --> 00:41:41,415 Yes, I know. 587 00:41:42,292 --> 00:41:43,667 Good. 588 00:41:46,254 --> 00:41:47,921 Thank you, madam. 589 00:41:59,475 --> 00:42:00,684 Bridge. 590 00:42:02,270 --> 00:42:03,478 Bridget. 591 00:42:20,288 --> 00:42:22,956 This is Lara from the New York office. 592 00:42:24,292 --> 00:42:27,461 -Lara, this is Bridget. -Hello. 593 00:42:31,299 --> 00:42:33,634 I thought you said she was slim. 594 00:43:24,352 --> 00:43:26,979 I was hoping you wanted to be a part of it. 595 00:43:27,063 --> 00:43:30,524 This is complete madness. 596 00:43:31,693 --> 00:43:34,778 I'm 36. This may be my last chance to have a child. 597 00:43:34,862 --> 00:43:35,988 Alex. 598 00:43:52,714 --> 00:43:56,091 The man penetrates the woman and leaves. 599 00:43:56,217 --> 00:43:59,136 The coitus is short and perfunctory. 600 00:43:59,304 --> 00:44:03,557 The woman can only wait now. 601 00:44:29,459 --> 00:44:34,171 There was a good reaction on the Teddy Knows Best campaign 602 00:44:34,255 --> 00:44:36,381 and there are various radio offers 603 00:44:36,466 --> 00:44:41,511 -for interviews with authors, which is good... -Stop that. I feel miserable. 604 00:44:42,305 --> 00:44:45,599 Lara and I... 605 00:44:46,434 --> 00:44:49,686 -You know... -No, please explain further. 606 00:44:49,771 --> 00:44:53,732 The truth is that we are the same, you and I. 607 00:44:53,816 --> 00:44:57,194 Two people of the same age who want to commit 608 00:44:57,278 --> 00:44:59,404 but find it very difficult. 609 00:44:59,614 --> 00:45:04,409 And I think in the end must be something extraordinary, 610 00:45:04,494 --> 00:45:06,828 something that takes us further 611 00:45:06,954 --> 00:45:10,874 and I think Lara, 612 00:45:10,958 --> 00:45:13,794 'cause she's American and all. It's trust 613 00:45:13,878 --> 00:45:16,338 and... 614 00:45:17,673 --> 00:45:20,300 That she is young. 615 00:45:25,306 --> 00:45:28,683 We have become very close. 616 00:45:28,810 --> 00:45:32,229 You just met her. She arrived yesterday. 617 00:45:38,569 --> 00:45:40,153 Silly Bridget. 618 00:45:40,530 --> 00:45:43,323 -You don't just know her. -No. 619 00:45:44,033 --> 00:45:46,493 I got to know her very well 620 00:45:46,577 --> 00:45:49,496 when we were together in the office were in New York. 621 00:45:51,999 --> 00:45:53,250 Shit. 622 00:45:54,335 --> 00:45:56,920 It's not easy to say, 623 00:45:58,005 --> 00:46:00,715 but I want you to be the first to know 624 00:46:03,344 --> 00:46:04,845 that we are engaged. 625 00:46:24,532 --> 00:46:29,536 At times like that Continuing life seems impossible 626 00:46:30,121 --> 00:46:34,416 and seems to eat everything what's in the fridge, unavoidable. 627 00:46:34,959 --> 00:46:36,710 I have two choices. 628 00:46:37,128 --> 00:46:40,922 Giving up and the permanent state accept from old maid 629 00:46:41,048 --> 00:46:43,550 and ultimately by dogs be eaten 630 00:46:44,802 --> 00:46:48,638 or not, and this time I choose not. 631 00:46:49,265 --> 00:46:53,768 I won't let a bad man beat me and an American beanstalk. 632 00:46:54,103 --> 00:46:57,063 Instead I opt for vodka. 633 00:46:58,149 --> 00:46:59,733 And Chaka Khan. 634 00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:18,877 WHAT MEN WANT 635 00:47:19,754 --> 00:47:21,129 HOW MEN THINK 636 00:47:22,924 --> 00:47:25,342 HOW TO MAKE MEN WANT WHAT THEY DON'T WANT 637 00:47:25,426 --> 00:47:27,594 GETTING PRIDE BACK GET WHAT YOU WANT 638 00:47:27,678 --> 00:47:29,137 LIFE WITHOUT MEN 639 00:47:29,972 --> 00:47:32,182 WOMEN WHO LOVE MEN ITS CRAZY 640 00:47:36,145 --> 00:47:37,187 Television intern 641 00:47:37,271 --> 00:47:38,271 Assistant producer - TV 642 00:47:38,356 --> 00:47:39,397 Did you ever want to be a TV researcher? 643 00:47:57,458 --> 00:47:59,042 Why do you want to be in television? 644 00:47:59,126 --> 00:48:02,796 I have discovered that I really like it 645 00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:06,841 the latest, in-depth news wants to bring, 646 00:48:07,385 --> 00:48:09,636 in both political and ecological terms. 647 00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:12,556 What do you think of the El Niño phenomenon? 648 00:48:12,974 --> 00:48:14,474 Insignificant. 649 00:48:14,559 --> 00:48:17,727 I think Latin music goes out of fashion. 650 00:48:19,188 --> 00:48:21,273 Why do you want to work in television? 651 00:48:21,357 --> 00:48:24,234 Because with all my heart want to communicate with children. 652 00:48:25,069 --> 00:48:27,988 -They are the future. -Do you have children yourself? 653 00:48:28,155 --> 00:48:29,656 Jesus, no. 654 00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:34,244 Sorry. 655 00:48:34,328 --> 00:48:36,079 Why do you want to work in television? 656 00:48:36,789 --> 00:48:40,667 I have to give up my job because I fucked my boss. 657 00:48:40,751 --> 00:48:44,004 Okay. You can start on Monday. We'll see how it goes. 658 00:48:44,088 --> 00:48:48,049 By the way, at Sit Up Britain 659 00:48:48,217 --> 00:48:51,177 no one gets fired because the boss was fucked. 660 00:48:51,262 --> 00:48:53,096 A matter of principle. 661 00:48:57,935 --> 00:49:00,186 Come on. 662 00:49:01,022 --> 00:49:04,274 I know it was embarrassing, but that doesn't mean you have to leave. 663 00:49:04,358 --> 00:49:09,112 Anyway. I have a job in television been offered. 664 00:49:10,031 --> 00:49:11,448 Television? 665 00:49:11,699 --> 00:49:13,950 And they want me to start right away. 666 00:49:14,035 --> 00:49:17,912 So I have to leave in about three minutes. 667 00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:19,247 So... 668 00:49:21,626 --> 00:49:24,794 Wait a minute, Miss Jones. 669 00:49:24,879 --> 00:49:28,048 Unfortunately I have to report that is stated in your contract 670 00:49:28,132 --> 00:49:30,800 that you have a notice period of at least six weeks. 671 00:49:30,885 --> 00:49:34,220 I thought so with all those problems within the company 672 00:49:34,305 --> 00:49:36,056 you won't miss anyone 673 00:49:36,140 --> 00:49:40,518 who "sails in in a see-through blouse and makes a fool of himself in front of the press." 674 00:49:42,772 --> 00:49:44,773 -Bridget. -I want to hear this. 675 00:49:44,982 --> 00:49:46,149 'Cause if she gives up, 676 00:49:46,233 --> 00:49:50,236 I fire that skeleton because she has no spine. 677 00:49:51,364 --> 00:49:52,489 What? 678 00:49:52,990 --> 00:49:54,824 I think you should know 679 00:49:54,909 --> 00:49:56,910 that the opportunities here for a talented... 680 00:49:56,994 --> 00:49:58,953 -Daniel. -Please take a moment, Simon. 681 00:49:59,038 --> 00:50:01,039 -Thank you. -Okay, Mr. Boss. 682 00:50:02,208 --> 00:50:05,168 Lots of opportunities for someone 683 00:50:06,545 --> 00:50:09,506 which may be for personal reasons 684 00:50:09,757 --> 00:50:12,092 has been professionally overlooked. 685 00:50:12,718 --> 00:50:15,679 Thank you, Daniel. That's nice to know. 686 00:50:15,763 --> 00:50:19,140 But if stay here means I'm sitting 30 feet away from you, 687 00:50:19,225 --> 00:50:22,727 I'd rather wipe my ass get rid of Saddam Hussein. 688 00:50:33,823 --> 00:50:35,615 Well, hello everyone. 689 00:50:45,167 --> 00:50:46,668 Fuck off. 690 00:50:46,919 --> 00:50:50,255 Hello and welcome to Sit Up Britain, a current affairs programme... 691 00:50:50,339 --> 00:50:54,008 Okay, it's busy and things are going well. 692 00:50:54,093 --> 00:50:57,512 We have satellite connections from Newcastle, 693 00:50:57,847 --> 00:51:02,559 Swansea, Sheffield and Lewisham, who are primed for tragedy. 694 00:51:03,310 --> 00:51:04,853 Bridget Jones, where are you? 695 00:51:06,814 --> 00:51:07,897 Here, Richard. 696 00:51:07,982 --> 00:51:10,859 Put on more makeup. I want you on camera. 697 00:51:10,943 --> 00:51:15,155 With a mini skirt and a fire helmet. 698 00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:17,991 Hold a fire hose, slide down the pole 699 00:51:18,075 --> 00:51:20,076 and then on to the interview. 700 00:51:20,161 --> 00:51:23,079 Great. I'll do it. 701 00:51:26,125 --> 00:51:27,542 No problem. Good. 702 00:51:27,626 --> 00:51:30,462 You come into the picture and then interview fire chief Bevan. 703 00:51:30,546 --> 00:51:33,840 Yes. Yes. Go. 704 00:51:33,924 --> 00:51:35,550 -To go? -Oh, no. 705 00:51:35,634 --> 00:51:38,094 We'll go to the fire brigade first in Newcastle. 706 00:51:38,179 --> 00:51:41,181 Stop. Climb back up. 707 00:51:41,265 --> 00:51:43,308 -To you in 30 seconds. -Okay. 708 00:51:47,271 --> 00:51:48,646 Neville, what the hell is happening? 709 00:51:48,731 --> 00:51:51,399 She must slide down, don't climb up. 710 00:51:51,484 --> 00:51:54,277 -Go, go. -Okay. 711 00:51:55,488 --> 00:51:57,280 Oh, Jesus Christ. 712 00:51:59,158 --> 00:52:02,160 Okay, time's up. End it. 713 00:52:02,578 --> 00:52:07,248 Apparently we don't have time for more here in Lewisham. 714 00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,960 Fire Chief Bevan, thank you very much. 715 00:52:11,170 --> 00:52:13,505 Excellent fire station. 716 00:52:14,131 --> 00:52:17,467 And now back to the studio. 717 00:52:23,557 --> 00:52:26,976 Excellent. The national subject of mockery. 718 00:52:27,061 --> 00:52:29,312 I have an ass as big as Brazil, 719 00:52:29,396 --> 00:52:32,899 am the daughter of a broken home, suggest nothing and... 720 00:52:32,983 --> 00:52:36,236 Oh god, I'm having dinner with Magda and Jeremy. 721 00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:39,405 Worse than a smug married couple 722 00:52:39,490 --> 00:52:42,242 are a lot of smug, married couples. 723 00:52:42,493 --> 00:52:45,161 Everyone, this is Bridget. 724 00:52:46,247 --> 00:52:50,917 Bridge, this is Hugo and Jane. Of course you know Cosmo and Woney. 725 00:52:51,001 --> 00:52:52,085 -Hi, Bridge. -Hi, Bridge. 726 00:52:52,169 --> 00:52:54,295 -This is Alastair and Henrietta. -Hello. 727 00:52:54,380 --> 00:52:56,130 -Julia and Michael. -Hi. 728 00:52:56,215 --> 00:52:57,340 -Joanne and Paul. -Hello. 729 00:52:57,424 --> 00:53:02,136 And Jeremy's partners from the council chamber, Natasha Glenville and Mark Darcy. 730 00:53:02,346 --> 00:53:04,556 -Hi. -Hello. 731 00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:07,809 -Not in your bunny suit today? -No. 732 00:53:08,561 --> 00:53:12,313 We rabbits carry our tails only on special occasions. 733 00:53:12,690 --> 00:53:15,233 -Correct. Sit down. -Correct. 734 00:53:18,571 --> 00:53:21,197 How is your love life? 735 00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:25,285 Are you still dating that publisher guy? 736 00:53:26,078 --> 00:53:27,996 No, not anymore. 737 00:53:28,622 --> 00:53:31,207 Never put your pen in the inkwell at work. 738 00:53:31,709 --> 00:53:32,792 Correct. 739 00:53:32,877 --> 00:53:36,921 You really need to get married soon. 740 00:53:37,006 --> 00:53:40,174 The clock is ticking. Tick-tock. 741 00:53:41,260 --> 00:53:42,468 Yes. 742 00:53:43,178 --> 00:53:47,140 It is now one in four marriages or three marriages that fail. 743 00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:48,683 One in three. 744 00:53:49,143 --> 00:53:53,730 That office is full of single people girls in their 30s. 745 00:53:54,481 --> 00:53:58,693 Beautiful specimens, but they can't keep a man. 746 00:53:59,695 --> 00:54:04,657 Yes, why are there so many unmarried people? women in their 30s these days? 747 00:54:10,414 --> 00:54:12,123 Don't know. 748 00:54:12,625 --> 00:54:15,668 I guess it doesn't help that under our clothes 749 00:54:15,753 --> 00:54:18,504 our whole body is full of flakes. 750 00:54:30,976 --> 00:54:34,604 By the way, I enjoyed it from your fire report in Lewisham. 751 00:54:36,148 --> 00:54:37,815 Thank you. 752 00:54:43,447 --> 00:54:44,822 Yeah, oh well. 753 00:54:48,827 --> 00:54:51,079 Things weren't going well for Daniel Cleaver? 754 00:54:51,163 --> 00:54:52,830 No. 755 00:54:54,375 --> 00:54:56,334 Nice to hear. 756 00:54:56,877 --> 00:54:59,796 Do you and Cosmo sometimes conspire? 757 00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:02,632 You seem to be trying very hard to make me feel 758 00:55:02,716 --> 00:55:05,468 that I'm a complete idiot every time I see you 759 00:55:05,552 --> 00:55:08,304 and there really is no need for that. 760 00:55:08,931 --> 00:55:12,600 I already feel like an idiot most of the time, 761 00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:15,812 with or without fire pole. 762 00:55:18,649 --> 00:55:21,776 That's my taxi. Good evening. 763 00:55:22,486 --> 00:55:25,780 Listen, I'm sorry if I... 764 00:55:27,157 --> 00:55:28,491 What? 765 00:55:28,826 --> 00:55:31,494 I don't think you're an idiot at all. 766 00:55:32,287 --> 00:55:35,790 I mean, you do have elements which are ridiculous. 767 00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:38,543 Your mother is interesting. 768 00:55:38,627 --> 00:55:42,213 In public speaking are you terrible. 769 00:55:42,464 --> 00:55:44,424 You tend to like what comes to mind 770 00:55:44,508 --> 00:55:48,678 to come out of your mouth without thinking about the consequences. 771 00:55:48,762 --> 00:55:52,348 I realize that when I see you at the turkey and curry buffet, 772 00:55:52,433 --> 00:55:56,644 I was unforgivably rude and wore a reindeer sweater 773 00:55:57,187 --> 00:55:59,772 that my mother gave me the day before had given. 774 00:56:00,733 --> 00:56:02,859 But... 775 00:56:03,110 --> 00:56:06,946 What I'm actually trying to say is 776 00:56:08,824 --> 00:56:14,370 that I love you despite appearances 777 00:56:15,789 --> 00:56:18,416 very much like. 778 00:56:19,418 --> 00:56:23,129 On smoking, drinking, the vulgar mother 779 00:56:24,089 --> 00:56:28,342 -and the verbal diarrhea afterwards. -No, I like you just the way you are. 780 00:56:30,679 --> 00:56:34,223 Mark, we're really making progress. 781 00:56:34,725 --> 00:56:37,477 Jeremy had a brilliant idea. 782 00:56:38,395 --> 00:56:40,772 Right, yes. 783 00:56:43,817 --> 00:56:46,152 I have to go because... 784 00:56:49,698 --> 00:56:50,948 Day. 785 00:57:03,962 --> 00:57:07,715 “The way you are?” Not slimmer? Not smarter? 786 00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:11,594 Not with slightly larger breasts and a slightly smaller nose? 787 00:57:17,184 --> 00:57:20,061 It will. 788 00:57:24,650 --> 00:57:26,400 But you hate him, right? 789 00:57:28,362 --> 00:57:30,196 Yes, I hate him. 790 00:57:37,037 --> 00:57:41,374 November 9. Weight: 62.5 kg. 791 00:57:41,500 --> 00:57:45,253 Cigarettes: three. Age: 33. 792 00:57:46,713 --> 00:57:49,298 Okay, Bridget. Let's see if you're doing it right now. 793 00:57:49,383 --> 00:57:52,343 The verdict in the Aghani-Heaney case is expected today. 794 00:57:52,427 --> 00:57:56,556 Go to the Supreme Court. I want a business interview. 795 00:57:57,224 --> 00:58:01,269 -Are you aware of the Aghani-Heaney case? -Yes, of course. 796 00:58:01,937 --> 00:58:03,771 Big deal 797 00:58:04,314 --> 00:58:07,608 with someone called "Aghani-Heaney". 798 00:58:07,818 --> 00:58:11,362 Or two people who are Kafir Aghani and are called Eleanor Heaney? 799 00:58:11,446 --> 00:58:13,072 That one, yes. 800 00:58:14,199 --> 00:58:17,285 She's a British aid worker. He's a Kurdish freedom fighter. 801 00:58:17,369 --> 00:58:20,997 The government wants to deport him and then he will certainly be executed. 802 00:58:21,081 --> 00:58:24,500 She married him and they fight for five years to keep him here. 803 00:58:24,585 --> 00:58:27,336 -Today the decision is made. -Exciting. 804 00:58:27,713 --> 00:58:30,840 Yes. So what are you waiting for? 805 00:58:31,967 --> 00:58:34,093 Suddenly I'm a down-to-earth journalist 806 00:58:34,178 --> 00:58:37,513 with ruthless dedication to promoting justice. 807 00:58:37,598 --> 00:58:40,433 Nothing can stop me of the pursuit of truth. 808 00:58:40,517 --> 00:58:41,601 SAY NO TO THE DEATH OF FREEDOM 809 00:58:41,685 --> 00:58:44,270 Well, almost nothing. 810 00:58:44,354 --> 00:58:48,065 I'm going to get some cigarettes. 811 00:58:48,275 --> 00:58:51,319 14 pence for the cigarettes and a packet of chips. 812 00:58:51,403 --> 00:58:54,947 -A package of Embassy, ​​please. -Sorry. I'm not... 813 00:58:55,407 --> 00:58:56,949 Good afternoon. 814 00:58:58,619 --> 00:58:59,702 Hi. 815 00:59:00,829 --> 00:59:03,122 You like me the way I am. 816 00:59:03,540 --> 00:59:05,291 -Sorry? -Nothing. 817 00:59:06,210 --> 00:59:08,753 We made a mess of it. 818 00:59:08,879 --> 00:59:11,797 Eleanor Heaney and Kafir Aghani are gone again. 819 00:59:11,882 --> 00:59:14,050 Oh my god. I'm getting fired. 820 00:59:14,885 --> 00:59:18,387 -Do the others have an interview? -No idea. I was peeing. 821 00:59:18,472 --> 00:59:21,432 -No one had an interview. -How do you know that? 822 00:59:21,516 --> 00:59:25,102 Because I defended him and told him not to give interviews. 823 00:59:26,396 --> 00:59:28,940 Listen, I have a plan. 824 00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:31,901 And action. 825 00:59:33,487 --> 00:59:38,407 Mr Darcy, you defended Mr Aghani. You are of course happy with this. 826 00:59:39,034 --> 00:59:41,452 Yes, Kafir Aghani dedicated his entire life 827 00:59:41,536 --> 00:59:44,080 to the defense of human rights of his own people 828 00:59:44,164 --> 00:59:47,959 and today's ruling is the result of five years of struggle 829 00:59:48,043 --> 00:59:51,087 from Eleanor Heaney to the man to protect those she loves 830 00:59:51,171 --> 00:59:55,549 for deportation, which would have been tantamount to a death sentence. 831 00:59:55,759 --> 00:59:56,968 Correct. 832 00:59:57,469 --> 00:59:59,929 Eleanor, now to you. 833 01:00:00,222 --> 01:00:03,599 Did you immediately fall for Kafir? 834 01:00:06,019 --> 01:00:09,230 This was Bridget Jones for Sit Up Britain 835 01:00:09,398 --> 01:00:13,317 who is now honestly in love. 836 01:00:13,944 --> 01:00:15,486 Good afternoon. 837 01:00:15,696 --> 01:00:18,489 Bridget Jones. A living legend. 838 01:00:31,962 --> 01:00:35,589 Oh how nice, I'm a journalistic genius 839 01:00:35,966 --> 01:00:39,051 who celebrates this with a birthday party for close friends. 840 01:00:39,136 --> 01:00:43,973 Have a secret suspicion that I'm also a genius in the kitchen. 841 01:00:44,099 --> 01:00:48,436 "Bind flavor-enriching leeks and celery together with string." 842 01:00:49,146 --> 01:00:50,855 Correct. String. 843 01:00:54,067 --> 01:00:55,359 Perfect. 844 01:00:58,655 --> 01:01:01,657 “Cut oranges into thin slices and grate the peel." 845 01:01:08,206 --> 01:01:10,166 Oh shit. 846 01:01:14,588 --> 01:01:17,048 Where the hell is the tuna? 847 01:01:17,341 --> 01:01:21,302 This is Bridget Jones for Sit Up Britain looking for tuna. 848 01:01:25,891 --> 01:01:27,141 Bridget Jones. 849 01:01:27,225 --> 01:01:29,769 -Hello, honey. -Hi, Mom. 850 01:01:30,103 --> 01:01:32,355 I just wanted to chat. 851 01:01:33,231 --> 01:01:35,316 Careful, stupid cow. 852 01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:37,902 You know, just between us, 853 01:01:37,986 --> 01:01:41,238 I'm not sure Julian is that nice. 854 01:01:41,365 --> 01:01:44,325 You know, Mom, I don't really have time right now. 855 01:01:44,409 --> 01:01:45,493 Okay. 856 01:01:45,577 --> 01:01:48,496 I can't deny it that the sex is still surprising. 857 01:01:48,580 --> 01:01:50,706 Recently I felt very unexpectedly, 858 01:01:50,791 --> 01:01:53,000 While I dozed off that huge... 859 01:01:53,126 --> 01:01:54,710 Bye, Mom. 860 01:01:59,216 --> 01:02:00,966 What timing. 861 01:02:07,766 --> 01:02:09,642 The door was open. 862 01:02:09,893 --> 01:02:14,021 I came the new face of British current affairs. 863 01:02:15,899 --> 01:02:18,484 Kafir free - tells all to Bridget Jones 864 01:02:19,569 --> 01:02:22,696 But I see I'm coming at a bad time. 865 01:02:24,866 --> 01:02:26,033 What does it look like? 866 01:02:26,118 --> 01:02:29,412 Great. It's blue. 867 01:02:29,579 --> 01:02:32,456 -Blue? -No, but blue is good. 868 01:02:32,791 --> 01:02:34,625 I don't think there is enough blue food. 869 01:02:34,709 --> 01:02:37,586 Oh shit. That was the string. 870 01:02:37,671 --> 01:02:39,505 No, it's string soup. 871 01:02:40,549 --> 01:02:42,675 They could be there any moment. 872 01:02:42,759 --> 01:02:45,136 No problem. They must be coming for you and not 873 01:02:45,220 --> 01:02:47,680 for orange parfait in sugar tubs. 874 01:02:48,181 --> 01:02:50,391 -Let's have a drink. -Yes. 875 01:02:54,980 --> 01:02:57,064 -Congratulations. -Thank you. 876 01:03:00,527 --> 01:03:03,195 Did I really walk around naked on your lawn? 877 01:03:03,572 --> 01:03:06,115 Yes. You were four and I was eight. 878 01:03:06,950 --> 01:03:09,535 A big age difference. 879 01:03:10,829 --> 01:03:14,331 -Really perverted. -Yes, I like to think so too. 880 01:03:18,378 --> 01:03:21,505 What are we going to do about this dinner? 881 01:03:22,966 --> 01:03:27,052 We start with blue soup and end with orange pudding 882 01:03:28,013 --> 01:03:31,932 and as a main course a thick, fatty mass. 883 01:03:32,142 --> 01:03:34,727 That's caper gravy. 884 01:03:36,104 --> 01:03:37,771 -Do you have eggs? -Yes. 885 01:03:37,856 --> 01:03:41,650 Good. Then it becomes an omelet. With caper gravy. 886 01:03:46,031 --> 01:03:49,867 You may have by chance beetroot at home? 887 01:03:50,577 --> 01:03:52,953 Mini pickles? Stuffed olives? 888 01:03:53,288 --> 01:03:54,538 No, Pam. 889 01:03:54,789 --> 01:03:57,958 And besides, I'm busy. The gravy must be strained. 890 01:03:58,251 --> 01:04:00,503 No. Just stir, Una. 891 01:04:10,847 --> 01:04:12,640 Congratulations. 892 01:04:12,724 --> 01:04:14,975 -TV queen. -We are so proud. 893 01:04:15,060 --> 01:04:18,938 You looked so damn slim. You looked fantastic. 894 01:04:21,483 --> 01:04:23,567 -Hello. -Hello. 895 01:04:23,818 --> 01:04:27,279 -Would you like to eat with us? -Yes. Naturally. 896 01:04:47,092 --> 01:04:48,717 Excellent. 897 01:04:49,928 --> 01:04:52,263 Delicious. Really special. 898 01:04:52,430 --> 01:04:54,348 It tastes really good. 899 01:04:54,641 --> 01:04:56,934 That's very nice. 900 01:04:58,478 --> 01:04:59,770 So... 901 01:05:00,897 --> 01:05:03,315 Mark, why did your wife leave you? 902 01:05:03,608 --> 01:05:07,444 Continue eating. There will be two more courses. 903 01:05:14,119 --> 01:05:15,452 Delicious. 904 01:05:16,663 --> 01:05:18,998 This really is the most disgusting food. 905 01:05:22,460 --> 01:05:26,755 -This is the worst of the three. -It reminds me of something. 906 01:05:26,923 --> 01:05:29,091 -It tastes like... -Marmalade. 907 01:05:29,175 --> 01:05:30,426 Well done, Bridge. 908 01:05:30,510 --> 01:05:35,389 Four hours in the kitchen and a party of blue soup, omelette and marmalade. 909 01:05:35,515 --> 01:05:37,891 -Thank you. -That deserves a toast, don't you think? 910 01:05:37,976 --> 01:05:40,644 To Bridget, who can't cook 911 01:05:41,229 --> 01:05:43,689 but whom we love as she is. 912 01:05:45,442 --> 01:05:49,194 -To Bridget, as she is. -To Bridget, as she is. 913 01:05:58,079 --> 01:05:59,413 I'll go. 914 01:06:11,301 --> 01:06:12,426 Who? 915 01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:15,429 Sorry. 916 01:06:15,847 --> 01:06:18,641 I'm clearly interrupting. 917 01:06:20,185 --> 01:06:23,395 Darcy. What are you doing here? 918 01:06:25,273 --> 01:06:28,692 Right, yes. I should have guessed, right? 919 01:06:28,902 --> 01:06:31,362 Hi, I'm Tom. Nice to finally meet you. 920 01:06:31,446 --> 01:06:34,156 Yeah, listen, I just came... 921 01:06:34,616 --> 01:06:37,117 I thought you might be alone. 922 01:06:37,661 --> 01:06:39,203 What an idiot. 923 01:06:42,248 --> 01:06:43,832 Excuse me. 924 01:06:50,757 --> 01:06:52,633 I'm going completely crazy. 925 01:06:52,884 --> 01:06:57,554 I only think about you and what an idiot I have been. 926 01:06:58,056 --> 01:07:00,057 Jesus, is that blue soup? 927 01:07:00,558 --> 01:07:01,809 Yes. 928 01:07:02,352 --> 01:07:04,853 Remember that Sunday in the countryside? 929 01:07:07,524 --> 01:07:09,525 Come outside with me. 930 01:07:10,610 --> 01:07:12,820 It all happened so quickly. 931 01:07:13,154 --> 01:07:17,241 The hotel and that weekend, meet your parents. I panicked. 932 01:07:18,660 --> 01:07:20,327 You know me. 933 01:07:20,412 --> 01:07:24,373 I am a disastrous person with a shitty voice and bad character. 934 01:07:25,125 --> 01:07:27,292 Only you can save me. I need you. 935 01:07:27,377 --> 01:07:32,256 Without you I will be in 20 years in a cafe with a faded blonde. 936 01:07:33,299 --> 01:07:35,050 And what about Lara? 937 01:07:35,427 --> 01:07:37,970 Past. Completely off. 938 01:07:38,513 --> 01:07:39,847 Dumped me. 939 01:07:40,390 --> 01:07:43,559 Then she realised that I wasn't over you. 940 01:07:45,186 --> 01:07:50,357 I know you think it's about sex, but really, every time i 941 01:07:50,734 --> 01:07:52,818 see that skirt on TV, 942 01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:56,321 I close my eyes and listen to the smart things you say. 943 01:07:56,406 --> 01:07:59,825 I was so happy when that Kurdish guy was released. 944 01:08:00,869 --> 01:08:04,496 Bridge, I missed you very much. 945 01:08:10,003 --> 01:08:11,920 I'm going now. Day. 946 01:08:12,630 --> 01:08:15,174 -Mark, stay. -No, I don't think so. 947 01:08:15,300 --> 01:08:17,718 Don't leave because of me. 948 01:08:19,053 --> 01:08:23,682 It's time we move past leave us behind, don't you think, Darcy? 949 01:08:24,225 --> 01:08:27,936 At least stay for a birthday drink with me and Bridge. 950 01:08:28,021 --> 01:08:29,730 Hello, Bridget. 951 01:08:30,857 --> 01:08:32,024 Mark. 952 01:08:38,531 --> 01:08:40,532 -Why are you here? -Bridge, 953 01:08:41,868 --> 01:08:44,495 I just told you that. 954 01:08:44,579 --> 01:08:49,374 And why was that wanker Mark Darcy here? Wait, he's back. 955 01:08:50,543 --> 01:08:53,754 -Okay, Cleaver. Outside. -Sorry? 956 01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:55,172 Outside? 957 01:08:56,007 --> 01:08:59,134 Should I bring my dueling pistols? or my sword? 958 01:09:02,180 --> 01:09:03,889 All right. Wait a minute. 959 01:09:13,233 --> 01:09:15,400 I should have done this years ago. 960 01:09:15,485 --> 01:09:17,361 -What? -This. 961 01:09:18,571 --> 01:09:19,822 Shit. 962 01:09:19,906 --> 01:09:21,782 Shit, that hurt. 963 01:09:23,785 --> 01:09:26,161 -What do you think you're doing? -This. 964 01:09:27,497 --> 01:09:29,498 Jesus, not again. 965 01:09:31,876 --> 01:09:34,253 -Fight. -What? 966 01:09:34,921 --> 01:09:38,173 -Where? -Quick. It's a real brawl. 967 01:09:41,845 --> 01:09:44,221 Okay. I give up. 968 01:09:44,305 --> 01:09:45,764 Just a moment, okay? 969 01:09:45,849 --> 01:09:49,017 Can I take a break? 970 01:09:51,479 --> 01:09:54,439 Cheater. 971 01:10:02,866 --> 01:10:04,533 I skin you. 972 01:10:19,757 --> 01:10:21,592 -Who are we for? -Mark of course. 973 01:10:21,676 --> 01:10:23,594 He didn't dump her for a naked American. 974 01:10:23,678 --> 01:10:25,637 And he said he likes her just the way she is. 975 01:10:25,722 --> 01:10:28,682 But he stole Daniel's fiancée and broke him. 976 01:10:28,766 --> 01:10:31,184 Good point. Difficult decision. 977 01:10:37,442 --> 01:10:39,860 -No, no, no. -Yes. 978 01:10:43,698 --> 01:10:45,782 I'm so sorry. 979 01:10:48,411 --> 01:10:50,621 -What are you doing? -Oh, God, I'm sorry. 980 01:10:50,705 --> 01:10:53,081 I'm really sorry. I'll pay. 981 01:10:53,166 --> 01:10:56,793 -Had enough, Darcy? -Not really, if you don't mind. 982 01:10:58,296 --> 01:10:59,796 You broke my jaw. 983 01:10:59,881 --> 01:11:06,386 It's a birthday 984 01:11:07,347 --> 01:11:11,892 It's someone's birthday, you can see that 985 01:11:12,268 --> 01:11:16,605 That's him 986 01:11:30,328 --> 01:11:31,870 Jesus. 987 01:11:37,919 --> 01:11:41,171 All right. Enough. 988 01:11:43,257 --> 01:11:45,676 Enough, wanker. 989 01:11:59,565 --> 01:12:01,358 What's your problem? 990 01:12:01,442 --> 01:12:03,235 -My problem? -Yes. 991 01:12:03,611 --> 01:12:06,947 You give the impression of being virtuous and noble 992 01:12:07,031 --> 01:12:10,158 and normal and helpful in the kitchen, 993 01:12:10,743 --> 01:12:13,662 but you're just as bad as the rest. 994 01:12:13,788 --> 01:12:17,582 I see I was weighed down under a misconception. 995 01:12:17,667 --> 01:12:20,419 Very, very stupid mistake. 996 01:12:21,587 --> 01:12:23,046 Forgive me. 997 01:12:42,442 --> 01:12:44,359 Let's go back up. 998 01:12:45,111 --> 01:12:46,695 Come on. 999 01:12:49,782 --> 01:12:51,950 We belong together, Jones. 1000 01:12:53,119 --> 01:12:55,037 You, me, 1001 01:12:56,164 --> 01:12:58,081 poor skirt. 1002 01:13:00,126 --> 01:13:01,585 Correct. 1003 01:13:02,587 --> 01:13:04,713 If I don't succeed with you, 1004 01:13:06,424 --> 01:13:08,550 I can't do it with anyone. 1005 01:13:18,811 --> 01:13:21,396 That's not good enough for me. 1006 01:13:23,066 --> 01:13:29,404 I'm not going to bet my life for someone who isn't quite sure. 1007 01:13:31,616 --> 01:13:35,327 As you said, “I'm still looking for something 1008 01:13:36,829 --> 01:13:39,122 "that is extraordinary." 1009 01:13:59,852 --> 01:14:01,353 December 25. 1010 01:14:02,105 --> 01:14:07,234 Weight: 63.5 kg, plus 42 savory tarts. 1011 01:14:07,944 --> 01:14:11,655 Units of alcohol: thousands. 1012 01:14:11,739 --> 01:14:13,281 Fuck off. 1013 01:14:13,366 --> 01:14:15,075 Come on, children. 1014 01:14:16,786 --> 01:14:21,915 This baroque clock is my favorite at festivities 1015 01:14:22,375 --> 01:14:26,753 and strikes the hallelujah chorus from Handel's Messiah 1016 01:14:26,963 --> 01:14:28,922 at every hour, exactly on the hour. 1017 01:14:29,549 --> 01:14:32,384 I don't understand. The man has really turned red. 1018 01:14:32,718 --> 01:14:34,678 Merry Christmas, Pamela. 1019 01:14:40,226 --> 01:14:43,478 I'm going to Bedfordshire. 1020 01:14:51,112 --> 01:14:53,155 -Good night. -Good night. 1021 01:15:07,420 --> 01:15:08,962 What matters is 1022 01:15:10,298 --> 01:15:12,799 is the close up, it was almost purple. 1023 01:15:14,844 --> 01:15:17,304 You have such a wonderfully normal color. 1024 01:15:18,306 --> 01:15:20,223 He had fits of rage. 1025 01:15:22,310 --> 01:15:27,022 The jewelry was beautiful and very reasonably priced. 1026 01:15:29,275 --> 01:15:31,318 I wanted to ask you 1027 01:15:33,946 --> 01:15:36,114 if we could try again. 1028 01:15:37,283 --> 01:15:41,620 Of course with a little more effort on your part to give me a little more attention. 1029 01:15:41,704 --> 01:15:44,122 I know how I am sometimes. 1030 01:15:44,207 --> 01:15:47,709 It doesn't really help that you and Bridget as a club of two adults 1031 01:15:47,793 --> 01:15:52,047 always say: "What did silly mommy do again?" 1032 01:15:52,131 --> 01:15:54,382 You adored me. 1033 01:15:54,842 --> 01:15:57,093 You couldn't get enough of me. 1034 01:16:00,514 --> 01:16:02,182 What do you think? 1035 01:16:05,811 --> 01:16:07,437 I don't know, Pam. 1036 01:16:09,774 --> 01:16:11,691 I just don't know right now. 1037 01:16:14,820 --> 01:16:16,613 It was very tough. 1038 01:16:17,365 --> 01:16:18,823 Oh, Colin. 1039 01:16:23,287 --> 01:16:26,039 I'm kidding, idiot. 1040 01:16:30,294 --> 01:16:33,004 Pam, I can't live without you. 1041 01:16:37,343 --> 01:16:38,510 Terrible. 1042 01:16:42,390 --> 01:16:44,724 Nice. Nice. 1043 01:16:45,434 --> 01:16:48,311 Back up the stairs, young lady. Wear something nice. 1044 01:16:48,521 --> 01:16:49,771 For what? 1045 01:16:50,064 --> 01:16:53,858 The Darcy's 40th wedding anniversary. “What for?” she asks. 1046 01:16:53,943 --> 01:16:56,361 Mark is there too. Still divorced. 1047 01:16:56,487 --> 01:16:59,948 Also still crazy. I'm not going. 1048 01:17:00,032 --> 01:17:02,784 Poor Mark. This is always a difficult time for him. 1049 01:17:02,868 --> 01:17:06,413 His Japanese wife left him at Christmas. Cruel race. 1050 01:17:06,497 --> 01:17:09,624 Yes, but I'm not sure if he didn't deserve it. 1051 01:17:09,709 --> 01:17:12,294 She ran off with his best friend from Cambridge. 1052 01:17:12,378 --> 01:17:15,547 Clearly a villain. Was his best man at his wedding. 1053 01:17:15,631 --> 01:17:17,757 On Christmas Eve Mark comes home early from work 1054 01:17:17,842 --> 01:17:20,802 and finds them both in a very unorthodox position, 1055 01:17:20,886 --> 01:17:23,221 completely naked, working like rabbits. 1056 01:17:28,311 --> 01:17:30,312 Wait five minutes. 1057 01:17:37,820 --> 01:17:40,071 Stop. Stop the car. 1058 01:17:40,865 --> 01:17:43,199 -Dad, get out. Too slow. -Why? 1059 01:17:49,749 --> 01:17:53,043 -Dad. Get in. Hurry up. -Why the rush? 1060 01:17:55,087 --> 01:17:56,838 Not too fast. 1061 01:18:07,058 --> 01:18:08,892 A bit much snow, huh? 1062 01:18:28,704 --> 01:18:30,705 Sorry. One moment. 1063 01:18:33,042 --> 01:18:35,085 Thanks for the invitation. 1064 01:18:35,378 --> 01:18:38,505 I didn't do that. Must have been my parents. 1065 01:18:41,926 --> 01:18:44,803 -So. -So. 1066 01:18:46,764 --> 01:18:49,641 Hello, Bridget. I didn't know you were coming. 1067 01:18:49,892 --> 01:18:52,811 Mark, your father wants to start as soon as possible. 1068 01:18:52,937 --> 01:18:54,562 Oh, yes? Good. 1069 01:18:56,273 --> 01:18:58,483 Come on, Mark. Please help. 1070 01:18:58,567 --> 01:19:02,320 The catering is a mess. Doesn't anything work well outside London? 1071 01:19:02,405 --> 01:19:03,988 Apparently not. 1072 01:19:05,074 --> 01:19:06,741 Well, I have to... 1073 01:19:08,411 --> 01:19:09,661 Listen. 1074 01:19:10,621 --> 01:19:15,083 I owe you an apology about Daniel. 1075 01:19:16,669 --> 01:19:21,297 He said you were there with his fiancée ran off and left him broken. 1076 01:19:23,843 --> 01:19:28,430 No, it was the other way around. It was my wife. 1077 01:19:29,765 --> 01:19:31,433 My heart. 1078 01:19:32,810 --> 01:19:34,269 Sorry. 1079 01:19:35,146 --> 01:19:38,481 That's why you always acted so strange when he was around 1080 01:19:38,774 --> 01:19:41,943 and you beat him to a pulp, rightly so. 1081 01:19:43,779 --> 01:19:45,196 Well done. 1082 01:19:47,032 --> 01:19:48,992 Can we 1083 01:19:49,702 --> 01:19:53,371 get away from here? 1084 01:19:59,545 --> 01:20:00,628 Okay. 1085 01:20:03,048 --> 01:20:06,342 I wanted to say something. 1086 01:20:08,471 --> 01:20:11,639 You once said you like me just the way I am 1087 01:20:11,724 --> 01:20:15,685 and that also applies to me and you. 1088 01:20:16,562 --> 01:20:21,566 You wear stupid things like your mother before you buy. Like tonight. 1089 01:20:22,067 --> 01:20:25,653 You are haughty and you always say it was wrong in every situation. 1090 01:20:25,738 --> 01:20:28,490 I really believe 1091 01:20:29,074 --> 01:20:31,701 that you should think about your sideburns. 1092 01:20:33,245 --> 01:20:37,165 But you're a nice man 1093 01:20:38,918 --> 01:20:40,293 and I like you. 1094 01:20:43,422 --> 01:20:47,175 If you want to come visit sometime, that would be nice. 1095 01:20:50,930 --> 01:20:52,597 More than fun. 1096 01:20:55,017 --> 01:20:56,184 Correct. 1097 01:20:58,020 --> 01:20:59,270 Heaven. 1098 01:21:02,775 --> 01:21:07,111 Ladies and gentlemen, May I have your attention for a moment? 1099 01:21:07,446 --> 01:21:08,863 Excuse me. 1100 01:21:12,451 --> 01:21:13,618 Naturally. 1101 01:21:13,702 --> 01:21:16,287 ...wife and companion, Geraldine. 1102 01:21:16,789 --> 01:21:21,209 A toast to her, my wonderful wife Geraldine. 1103 01:21:21,710 --> 01:21:23,628 To Geraldine. 1104 01:21:24,380 --> 01:21:27,799 And we are blessed again with our son Mark. 1105 01:21:28,759 --> 01:21:30,718 We have always been proud of him 1106 01:21:30,803 --> 01:21:33,638 and on this day we are even prouder of him 1107 01:21:33,764 --> 01:21:37,475 because I can announce that he was just asked 1108 01:21:37,560 --> 01:21:41,646 as a partner at the firm Abbott and Abbott in New York. 1109 01:21:45,651 --> 01:21:50,655 He takes his brilliant partner in the legal profession Natasha, with her. 1110 01:21:51,282 --> 01:21:54,993 They probably won't mind, Since we are among friends, 1111 01:21:55,119 --> 01:21:59,497 if i say that one day this remarkable girl 1112 01:21:59,582 --> 01:22:03,167 will be more than just that. 1113 01:22:09,258 --> 01:22:10,925 I asked him not to say anything. 1114 01:22:11,010 --> 01:22:14,679 So I ask you now Raise your glass again 1115 01:22:14,805 --> 01:22:17,098 on Mark and his Natasha. 1116 01:22:17,349 --> 01:22:21,811 -To Mark and Natasha. -No. No. 1117 01:22:26,025 --> 01:22:28,151 I just want to say 1118 01:22:28,777 --> 01:22:31,029 that it is such a shame 1119 01:22:35,326 --> 01:22:36,868 for England 1120 01:22:36,994 --> 01:22:41,623 to have such a great legal mind... 1121 01:22:41,707 --> 01:22:43,708 -Is she drunk? -What? 1122 01:22:44,376 --> 01:22:47,003 ...for the English people, 1123 01:22:48,297 --> 01:22:53,968 like you and me, to lose such a top executive. 1124 01:22:56,555 --> 01:22:59,349 Our top person actually. 1125 01:23:05,356 --> 01:23:08,149 I'll just go. 1126 01:23:09,026 --> 01:23:11,235 I have another party to go to. 1127 01:23:11,362 --> 01:23:13,988 Lots of single people. 1128 01:23:14,490 --> 01:23:17,241 Mainly sissies. 1129 01:23:20,371 --> 01:23:21,663 Day. 1130 01:24:26,812 --> 01:24:29,230 Diary of Bridget Jones Spinster and Deranged 1131 01:24:50,002 --> 01:24:53,171 -Yes? -Hi. It's us. 1132 01:24:55,507 --> 01:24:57,258 Great. Come upstairs. 1133 01:24:59,344 --> 01:25:01,554 We have such a wonderful surprise for you. 1134 01:25:01,638 --> 01:25:04,098 -You're not going to sing, are you? -Not that great. 1135 01:25:04,183 --> 01:25:07,185 But a surprise. We're taking you to Paris this weekend 1136 01:25:07,269 --> 01:25:10,271 so you can forget everything, especially Mark Darcy. 1137 01:25:10,355 --> 01:25:12,273 I don't think you said what you said. 1138 01:25:12,357 --> 01:25:13,357 I know. 1139 01:25:13,484 --> 01:25:15,943 No invitation for next year at the Darcy's. 1140 01:25:16,028 --> 01:25:19,280 He should have jumped over the heirlooms and hold you in his arms. 1141 01:25:19,364 --> 01:25:22,700 Yes. He is clearly a very cold frog. 1142 01:25:24,036 --> 01:25:26,662 Precisely. There were so many hints and stuff, 1143 01:25:26,747 --> 01:25:30,124 but did he ever his tongue shoved down your throat? 1144 01:25:30,209 --> 01:25:31,751 No. Not once. 1145 01:25:31,877 --> 01:25:35,046 -We have to pack. -Passport, Bridget, and pants. 1146 01:25:35,172 --> 01:25:36,631 Yes. Pair of trousers. 1147 01:25:36,715 --> 01:25:39,759 Hurry up, Bridge. We're dying of cold here. 1148 01:25:39,885 --> 01:25:41,761 Yes. Just the keys. 1149 01:25:42,888 --> 01:25:44,430 I'm stuck. 1150 01:25:48,769 --> 01:25:50,770 Hurry the fuck up, Bridget. 1151 01:25:51,897 --> 01:25:54,232 -Close the door. -Bridget. 1152 01:25:57,778 --> 01:25:59,779 What are you doing here? 1153 01:25:59,905 --> 01:26:02,323 I just wanted to know if you are available 1154 01:26:02,407 --> 01:26:05,660 for bar mitzvahs, baptisms and 40th wedding anniversary celebrations. 1155 01:26:05,744 --> 01:26:07,286 Excellent speech. 1156 01:26:07,412 --> 01:26:09,372 I thought you were in America. 1157 01:26:09,456 --> 01:26:11,415 Yes, I was there too, but 1158 01:26:12,709 --> 01:26:15,628 I realized I had forgotten something. 1159 01:26:16,755 --> 01:26:18,256 What then? 1160 01:26:18,882 --> 01:26:22,426 I realized I had been forgotten 1161 01:26:23,971 --> 01:26:26,222 to give you a kiss goodbye. Can I? 1162 01:26:28,976 --> 01:26:30,726 Oh well. 1163 01:26:34,398 --> 01:26:38,776 So you're not going to America? 1164 01:26:38,944 --> 01:26:40,987 No. Not. 1165 01:26:41,905 --> 01:26:45,449 -You're staying here? -It seems so. 1166 01:26:52,165 --> 01:26:53,958 Friends of yours? 1167 01:26:54,960 --> 01:26:58,004 No, never seen it before in my life. 1168 01:26:58,088 --> 01:27:01,007 Are you going to Paris now or not? 1169 01:27:01,925 --> 01:27:02,967 Not. 1170 01:27:03,093 --> 01:27:04,719 -There's no room anyway. -No. 1171 01:27:04,803 --> 01:27:07,305 Maybe we should go upstairs for a moment. 1172 01:27:07,431 --> 01:27:11,309 -Yes, very good idea. -No place for him either. 1173 01:27:14,605 --> 01:27:16,439 Close it. Say we're sorry. 1174 01:27:21,653 --> 01:27:23,821 Wait a minute. 1175 01:27:24,323 --> 01:27:28,993 Do something. Go read something. Many high-quality magazines 1176 01:27:29,119 --> 01:27:32,997 with fashion and romance tips. 1177 01:27:33,832 --> 01:27:35,750 I'll be right back. 1178 01:27:43,133 --> 01:27:47,887 Definitely an occasion for a little panty. 1179 01:28:02,527 --> 01:28:04,737 Mom was really going crazy with Mark Darcy. 1180 01:28:04,821 --> 01:28:07,949 Like a giant pickle who was thrown on his back... 1181 01:28:11,870 --> 01:28:12,954 Let's face it- 1182 01:28:13,038 --> 01:28:14,747 Mark Darcy is rude, obnoxious, BORING- 1183 01:28:14,831 --> 01:28:17,708 no wonder his wife left him. 1184 01:28:18,251 --> 01:28:25,341 Correct. 1185 01:28:32,224 --> 01:28:42,858 Mark. 1186 01:28:51,535 --> 01:28:53,411 Oh shit. 1187 01:28:57,582 --> 01:28:59,417 I hate him. HATE him. 1188 01:29:00,293 --> 01:29:02,044 Shit, shit. 1189 01:29:11,221 --> 01:29:12,555 Damn. 1190 01:29:12,723 --> 01:29:14,140 Oh my god. 1191 01:29:21,314 --> 01:29:25,067 -Wish me luck. -Good luck, crazy girl. 1192 01:29:50,594 --> 01:29:56,766 Mark. 1193 01:30:07,152 --> 01:30:10,613 I'm so sorry. 1194 01:30:11,114 --> 01:30:14,158 I didn't mean it. I mean, I meant it. 1195 01:30:14,284 --> 01:30:19,371 But I was so stupid that I didn't mean what I meant. 1196 01:30:22,834 --> 01:30:24,960 Oh, for heaven's sake. 1197 01:30:27,839 --> 01:30:29,548 It's just a diary. 1198 01:30:31,134 --> 01:30:34,470 Everyone knows that diaries full of nonsense. 1199 01:30:38,183 --> 01:30:39,391 I know that. 1200 01:30:39,518 --> 01:30:43,646 I bought you a new one. Time for a new beginning perhaps. 1201 01:31:29,776 --> 01:31:31,402 Wait a minute. 1202 01:31:32,404 --> 01:31:34,822 Nice guys don't kiss like that. 1203 01:31:34,906 --> 01:31:37,074 Oh, yes, indeed. 1204 01:32:39,137 --> 01:32:42,723 Great. They are both very good friends of mine 1205 01:32:42,807 --> 01:32:45,726 and it's fantastic that they have finally found each other. 1206 01:32:45,810 --> 01:32:49,313 Yes. Brilliant. By the way, this is Pauline. 1207 01:32:49,856 --> 01:32:53,525 -Paula. -Paula. 1208 01:32:53,652 --> 01:32:54,860 Sorry. 1209 01:33:04,621 --> 01:33:06,872 How fantastic. 1210 01:33:07,123 --> 01:33:09,500 Nice, healthy, well-built girl. 1211 01:33:10,043 --> 01:33:12,544 I can't have a girl that is skin and bones. 1212 01:33:12,629 --> 01:33:15,965 I want a woman with an ass where you can put a glass of beer on. 1213 01:33:16,049 --> 01:33:17,466 Malcolm. 1214 01:33:25,642 --> 01:33:27,810 I'm clearly disappointed. 1215 01:33:27,978 --> 01:33:30,062 Deeply disappointed. 1216 01:33:30,981 --> 01:33:32,439 Because someone has a friend, 1217 01:33:32,524 --> 01:33:35,234 Doesn't that mean they have to... 1218 01:33:36,361 --> 01:33:37,903 You know. 1219 01:33:48,873 --> 01:33:53,377 No. There is no bitterness, no resentment. 1220 01:33:53,545 --> 01:33:57,131 I love that in the same month that Bridge Darce found, 1221 01:33:57,382 --> 01:33:58,841 I found Melani. 1222 01:33:58,925 --> 01:34:00,384 My name is Alan.