1 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,802 Attempt number 803 of my new project. 2 00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:12,720 This is the one. I can feel it. 3 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:15,431 I'm ready. 4 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,392 And here we go. 5 00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:23,981 ♪ Riding on a groovy wave of love ♪ 6 00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:27,568 ♪ I'm going for a cosmic ride ♪ 7 00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:31,364 ♪ Surf the freaky purple vibes of love ♪ 8 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,449 ♪ The marshmallow cat ♪ 9 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:36,661 ♪ Is inside ♪ 10 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:39,414 "The marshmallow cat is inside?" 11 00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:42,166 That's what I wrote? That's meaningless. 12 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:43,501 - Janet. - Hi, there. 13 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:44,836 How's the songwriting going? 14 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,421 I'm completely lost here, 15 00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:48,881 and I can't do the stupid E chord. 16 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,216 Would you like a magic guitar 17 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,634 that plays all the notes for you? 18 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,803 It's the number one request among men over 50 19 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,096 who have gotten in here. 20 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:57,473 No, the whole point is to learn how to do stuff 21 00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:00,101 without using afterlife magic. 22 00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,311 You know, maybe keep it on deck. 23 00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:03,896 - I don't know, whatever. - We should go, by the way. 24 00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:05,273 We're gonna be late. 25 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:08,693 Oh, where does the time go? 26 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:12,905 ♪ Surfing the freaky purple ♪ 27 00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:15,491 So ultimately, this all goes back 28 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,452 to a line from Professor May's book: 29 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:20,621 "Mortality offers meaning to our lives, 30 00:01:20,705 --> 00:01:22,540 and morality helps navigate that meaning." 31 00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,125 Wait, what I think it says 32 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,835 is that mortality offers meaning 33 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,420 to the events of our lives. 34 00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,714 Uh, check yourself, rando. 35 00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:31,299 I think Chidi Anagonye, 36 00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:33,342 who literally designed the afterlife, 37 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:34,469 knows what he's talking about. 38 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:35,553 Look, I'm pretty sure I'm right, 39 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,346 since it's, like, my book. 40 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,348 Yes, Professor May, you're probably right 41 00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:41,225 about what you wrote. 42 00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:43,227 Still think he should check himself. 43 00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:45,646 Okay, everyone, we'll see you all here next week. 44 00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:48,149 Professor Hieronymi will be teaching the trolley problem. 45 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,943 Bring ponchos. It gets messy. 46 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:53,530 You ready, Chidi? 47 00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:00,620 Hello, Jeff. I see the collection's grown. 48 00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:03,539 Sure has. I have 322 frog things now. 49 00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,666 323! I just got another one! 50 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,001 Ha! 51 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,545 Never not excited about frogs, that guy. 52 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:12,423 He knows what he likes. 53 00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:15,092 This meeting of the Joint Council of Afterlife Affairs 54 00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:16,469 is called to order. 55 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,221 Let's make this quick, kids. 56 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,431 I just started rewatching "The Leftovers." 57 00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:22,099 Honestly, when I found out 58 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:24,143 that Carrie Coon was never nominated, 59 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,687 I almost erased 2% of humanity. 60 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:28,439 Michael, update? 61 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,024 Things are going fairly well. 62 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,652 A new crop of humans just passed their tests. 63 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,529 Among the notables who got in, 64 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:37,448 Roberto Clemente, Zora Neale Hurston, 65 00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:39,242 - Saint Thomas Aquinas... - Yes! 66 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:43,621 Eighth-century Sufi mystic poet Hazrat Bibi Rabia Basri, 67 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,706 and Clara Peller. 68 00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,041 She was the "Where's the beef?" lady. 69 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,334 Oh. 70 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,544 "Where's the beef?" lady got in. 71 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:50,962 So, that's fun. 72 00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,713 Honestly, our biggest problem 73 00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:55,424 is that we need more architects and actors. 74 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,969 Well, sorry, but these younger demon actors 75 00:02:58,053 --> 00:02:59,637 have no dedication to their craft. 76 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,889 They think they can just start acting. 77 00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:05,017 They have to learn that acting is reacting, 78 00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:07,603 and reacting is pre-acting, 79 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:09,730 but pre-acting, well, 80 00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:11,148 that's just being. 81 00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,901 Okay, take it down a notch, Daniel Day-Lewis. 82 00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,278 Shawn, what you got? 83 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,697 Well, I'll begin by saying that this new system stinks, 84 00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,240 and Michael stinks, 85 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:20,700 and we should throw this all in the garbage 86 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:21,867 and go back to the way it used to be 87 00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:23,286 when everyone was tortured. 88 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,745 There's still some bumps in the road, 89 00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:27,748 but this system is good, and it's working. 90 00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,625 Come on, admit it. 91 00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:30,960 I will never, 92 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,129 ever, ever, ever, ever, 93 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,257 ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, 94 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,884 ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, 95 00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:42,096 ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, 96 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,931 ever, 97 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,349 admit that. 98 00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:47,018 I know, buddy. I know. 99 00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,283 What time is it? 100 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,201 I don't know. 101 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:05,828 Really? 102 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,371 Yeah. 103 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,290 At one point, hundreds of Bearimies ago, 104 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,375 I turned off my ability to know what time it is 105 00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:14,629 anywhere in the universe when you and I are together. 106 00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:16,339 I like not knowing. 107 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,800 It's 10:42 a.m. Sorry. 108 00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:21,302 Saying out loud that I didn't know something 109 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:22,970 made me feel weird. 110 00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:26,349 Man, I feel weird when I do know something. 111 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:29,018 You and I are very different. 112 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,395 Okay, gotta go meet my dad. I'm gonna try one more time. 113 00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:32,897 Good luck. 114 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:34,273 Thanks. 115 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:36,400 I'm freaking out, man. 116 00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:37,777 You got this, dawg. 117 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,945 One more play, for all the marbles. 118 00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:43,574 I love you, and I believe in you. 119 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:46,118 - Thanks, Dad. - Okay. 120 00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:47,411 Here we go. 121 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:50,164 Bortles gonna throw. 122 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,833 Yes! 123 00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:54,960 You did it! 124 00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:57,713 It took you more than 433,000 tries, 125 00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:00,883 but you just played the perfect game of Madden! 126 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,177 You did it! 127 00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:04,512 That's my boy. 128 00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:05,847 That's my boy. 129 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,392 I did it. 130 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:17,066 - Janet? - Hi, there. 131 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,984 Hi, Janet. I made dinner. 132 00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:21,028 You always make it for me, so this time, 133 00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:22,780 I wanted to make it, and real talk, 134 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,407 it didn't go great. 135 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:25,491 This is spaghetti. 136 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,368 Now, I know it looks weird, 137 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,578 but I bit off a chunk, and actually, 138 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,997 it's pretty bad. 139 00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:34,166 Also, I put out the forks and knives 140 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,751 the way kings and queens do it. 141 00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,628 Close to the plates. 142 00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,130 - Also... - Uh-oh. 143 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,427 Oh, dip. 144 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,011 Yeah. 145 00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:48,514 So... 146 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:51,642 I need to talk to everyone. 147 00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,436 Should I ask them to come here? 148 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,479 No, I... 149 00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:57,273 I had a better idea. 150 00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:01,819 - Hello, you two. - Hi. 151 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:03,946 What fun meeting back here. 152 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:07,366 Wow, you even restored it to the way it used to look. 153 00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,034 What inspired this, J-Dog? 154 00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:10,369 You get a hankering for frozen yogurt? 155 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:11,954 No. 156 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,874 I have an announcement to make. 157 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,292 I'm leaving. 158 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,127 Going through the door. 159 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,962 Wow. 160 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,714 Are you sure? 161 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:25,134 Yeah, I am. It's time. 162 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,511 We thought the best move was to gather everyone together 163 00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,013 for a sort of farewell party. 164 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:31,640 We're gonna eat and drink, and there will be dancing. 165 00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,392 Fun. 166 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:34,727 Whee! 167 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,146 Okay, homies, you're sad. 168 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,024 I can tell 'cause you have the same looks on your faces 169 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,568 that my teachers did whenever I raised my hand in class. 170 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,028 But let's be happy. 171 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,070 I'm gonna DJ! 172 00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,781 We'll play EDM all night. 173 00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:47,949 - Come on. - Come on. 174 00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:50,159 Oof. 175 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:53,079 Now I'm bummed about two things. 176 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,670 - Hey there, Doug. - Hi. 177 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:02,713 Having fun? 178 00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:04,757 I've had so much chicken! 179 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,425 It's probably good you chose your young body. 180 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,094 Yeah. 181 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:14,016 How are you doing? 182 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,685 I'm okay, Michael. How are you? 183 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:19,897 Well, I'm sad, 184 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:23,442 and I know you're the most advanced being in the universe, 185 00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,277 but I feel like I need to tell you, 186 00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:27,696 it's okay if you're sad too. 187 00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,448 I know. 188 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:32,284 And I am a little, but also, 189 00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:34,578 I know this is the right time for him to leave. 190 00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:36,956 I really am okay, I promise. 191 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,166 Will you come talk to me if you're not? 192 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,918 Always. 193 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,587 How y'all doing tonight? 194 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,257 Okay, homies, we got a real special treat. 195 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,801 My old dance crew Dance Dance Resolution is here. 196 00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:51,179 Y'all ready to tear it up one last time? 197 00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,684 Yes! Yes! 198 00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:45,024 That was special. 199 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:47,276 I'll never forget this night. 200 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,237 Until I walk through the door and dissolve into the universe. 201 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,489 Can I ask you something, buddy? 202 00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:55,576 How did you know? 203 00:08:55,660 --> 00:09:00,039 It wasn't like I heard a bell ring or anything. 204 00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:03,667 I just suddenly had this calm feeling, 205 00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:06,503 like the air inside my lungs 206 00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:10,132 was the same as the air outside my body. 207 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,551 It was peaceful. 208 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,428 You know the feeling when you think 209 00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,347 a jalapeño popper is gonna be too hot 210 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,474 but you bite into it anyway 211 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,142 and it's actually the perfect temperature? 212 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,186 Believe it or not, I do know that feeling. 213 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,855 - That feeling rules. - There you go! 214 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,857 Uh, 215 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:30,027 can I get your advice on something? 216 00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,446 I'm scared Janet's gonna forget me. 217 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:34,865 Her falling in love with someone else, 218 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:35,950 I'm fine with that. 219 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,242 Like, if Jason Momoa 220 00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:40,245 or if Lara Croft Tomb Raider gets in, 221 00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:42,623 and Janet's like, "That's what's up," 222 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:43,749 totally cool, 223 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:46,877 but her forgetting me would be sad, 224 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:50,047 so I made her this. 225 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,007 What do you guys think? 226 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,885 It's lovely. 227 00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:56,261 But she's not gonna forget you, man. 228 00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:57,680 I mean, 229 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,473 she literally can't. 230 00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,850 She remembers everything that ever happened. 231 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:04,019 Even if she could forget someone, 232 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:07,690 I don't think she's gonna forget you. 233 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,108 Thanks. 234 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,944 When I had Jason, I was 18 years old. 235 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:15,656 In many ways, Jason raised me just as much as I raised him. 236 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,993 So, thanks for being a great dad, son. 237 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,411 I love you, Dad! 238 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,789 Jason is the realest dude ever. 239 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:27,042 I mean, none of us are real anymore. 240 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,670 We're all just Caspers the Ghost and whatnot, 241 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:32,631 which is funny 'cause me and Jason ain't even white. 242 00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,717 Why are all ghosts white? 243 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,469 Aw, dip. Are ghosts racist? 244 00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:41,015 What I'm trying to say is, I love you, dawg, 245 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:43,934 you're my hero, you're my best friend, 246 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:46,354 and you're my Gardner Minshew. 247 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:51,233 Janets don't eat or drink anything, 248 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:54,361 but since Jason loves nothing more in the universe 249 00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,280 than buffalo wings, 250 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,532 I taught myself how to eat them. 251 00:10:58,616 --> 00:10:59,992 What? 252 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,494 So the first thing 253 00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:05,164 ever eaten by a Janet will be 254 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:08,835 a buffalo wing from Stupid Nick's Wing Dump. 255 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:10,794 No! 256 00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,380 No! Don't do it! 257 00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:16,801 Whoo! Yeah! 258 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,470 I feel disgusting. 259 00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:21,180 - Ooh. - What's on my face? 260 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:23,182 Oh, that's Nick's world-famous Concussion sauce. 261 00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:26,560 It's 20% sugar and 80% cold medicine. 262 00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:27,895 I feel bad. 263 00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:29,855 I feel really bad and gross. 264 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,357 And now I want to eat that whole bucket. 265 00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:34,818 Oh, I am so attracted to you right now. 266 00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,154 Oh. Okay. 267 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:14,316 You can sit on that bench as long as you want. 268 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,600 Whenever you're ready, you just walk through. 269 00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:23,909 I love you, Janet. 270 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:27,121 I love you too, Jason. 271 00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:29,915 I hope you have a nice rest of eternity. 272 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:30,999 Hmm. 273 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,710 I made you something. 274 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,255 Aw, dip, I lost it. 275 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:38,298 - It's okay. - No, it's not. 276 00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:40,425 I made you this cool thing so you remember me 277 00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:42,136 even when you're married to Aquaman, 278 00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:45,472 and I lost it somewhere in this forest. 279 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,224 Some magical squirrel probably ate it. 280 00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:48,934 Jason, it's okay. 281 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,686 I'm never gonna forget you. 282 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,689 In fact, to me, you won't even really be gone. 283 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:57,651 I don't experience time the same way you do. 284 00:12:57,735 --> 00:13:01,822 I kind of live all times at once. 285 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,657 I know what you mean. 286 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:05,284 Once, I smoked salvia, 287 00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:08,579 and saw the past and the future at the same time. 288 00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:11,832 Then I tried to brush my teeth with my cat. 289 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:13,584 To me, 290 00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,878 remembering moments with you 291 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:19,381 is the same as living in them. 292 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,466 Can you just remember the happy times 293 00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:24,303 and forget the bad stuff? 294 00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:26,930 There was no bad stuff. 295 00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:29,058 It was all good. 296 00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:56,084 Wow. 297 00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,003 These spindles are gorgeous. 298 00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,547 And there's almost a feeling of musculature 299 00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:01,757 to this transition. 300 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,800 The oak just sort of told me the shape 301 00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:05,552 before I even got to the spoke shave. 302 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:07,137 This under-bevel is a great trick. 303 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,597 It really makes it feel lighter 304 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,724 while leaving you plenty of beef to carve. 305 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:13,268 It's really just a modified Danish line. 306 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,645 Still, you made it your own. 307 00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:16,897 This is as good a chair as I've seen. 308 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,523 I have nothing left to teach you. 309 00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:20,734 Hurrah! 310 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,486 Thank you! 311 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:25,697 - Janet! - Hi there. 312 00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,574 Call up the list please. 313 00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:29,952 Congratulations. 314 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,995 Actually, I just finished repaving my driveway yesterday, 315 00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,831 so cross that one off too. 316 00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:36,375 Before you start your next project, 317 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:37,584 you should know, that thing 318 00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:40,212 that you asked me to tell you when it happened? 319 00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:43,048 It happened. 320 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:44,549 I mean, they've gone through the system, 321 00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:47,678 so they'll be a little different, right? 322 00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:49,429 One would hope. 323 00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:51,598 I've never had lunch with Mum and Dad. 324 00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:53,976 I've only ever stood silently behind their chairs 325 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,103 while they ate lobster tail with Oscar de la Renta. 326 00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:58,355 I'm right here. 327 00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:00,732 We will get through this together. 328 00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:02,985 Here we go. 329 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,364 Mother, Father, welcome to... 330 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:08,699 My darlings! 331 00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,617 My darlings. Oh! 332 00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,244 Oh, my little girls. 333 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:15,205 We love you both so much. 334 00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,332 So very much. 335 00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:20,794 We have a million things to talk to you about, 336 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,713 but first, we are sorry. 337 00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:26,342 We'll just be endlessly sorry forever and ever. 338 00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:30,429 Holy crap. 339 00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:32,056 I know, right? 340 00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:51,408 Ugh. 341 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,951 For the 1,000,000th time, 342 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,120 they've sent us teddy bears and flowers. 343 00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,330 You think they'd understand 344 00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:58,864 that we can get these things ourselves if we want. 345 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,501 Ah, that's lovely. 346 00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:03,045 Thanks. 347 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,881 You know, I never thought I would say this, 348 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,091 but I'm getting a little bored of Mum and Dad 349 00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:11,386 telling us how much they love us. 350 00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,847 Yes. 351 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:15,641 Isn't that something? 352 00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:22,689 Well, this may not come as a surprise to any of you, 353 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,858 but... 354 00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:26,318 I'm ready to go. 355 00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,779 Aw, nuts. I knew it. 356 00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:30,155 You finished everything on your list? 357 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:31,323 I did. 358 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:32,991 I learned how to install a bathtub, 359 00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:35,285 fly a helicopter, defuse a bomb, 360 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:37,412 deliver the perfect backhand slice. 361 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:41,124 My last goal was to spend one meaningful day with my parents, 362 00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:43,710 and now I've spent thousands of them. 363 00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:45,295 I feel complete. 364 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,339 Would you like me to prepare a farewell party for you? 365 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,591 No need. I've done it myself. 366 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,760 I've cooked all the food, mixed all the drinks, 367 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,346 made all the furniture, repainted all the walls, 368 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,931 and trained all the animals. 369 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,057 Champagne? 370 00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:59,351 Uh, sure. Thank you, panda. 371 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,852 Also, I've already said good-bye 372 00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:01,895 to everyone else in my life. 373 00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:04,523 My sister, my parents, B and J. 374 00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:07,025 They took it very hard. 375 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,487 Tonight, it's just us. 376 00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,371 I hate to tell you this, 377 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:22,499 but your risotto was just a little sticky. 378 00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:25,043 - Was it? - No, damn it, it was amazing. 379 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,546 Just trying to figure out a way to get you 380 00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,256 to hang around for a few more Bearimies. 381 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:32,259 Can I tell you something? 382 00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:34,052 You're my role model. 383 00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:35,345 Come on. 384 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:36,721 I'm serious. 385 00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:39,808 Babe, you were already the most impressive person 386 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,101 I ever met, 387 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:43,311 and now you can do literally everything. 388 00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:46,481 If that's true, it's because you inspired me. 389 00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:49,568 I admire you so very much. 390 00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:52,612 Your strength, your toughness, your self-esteem, 391 00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:56,950 not to mention you have a rocking bod. 392 00:17:57,034 --> 00:18:00,412 Did you just turn the tables on me? 393 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:02,914 I got nothing left to teach you. 394 00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:04,749 - Janet. - Hi there. 395 00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:07,377 One more goal to add to the list please. 396 00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:09,547 Now cross it off. 397 00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:13,675 I know we already said good-bye. 398 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:14,801 I'm not even here. 399 00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,136 I just had to see you one last time, 400 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,138 because I hooked up with Alexander the Great! 401 00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:21,057 And it was more like Alexander the Fine. 402 00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:23,185 Okay, anyway, I love you, I love you, good-bye forever. 403 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:25,270 - Bye, love! - Bye! 404 00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:27,606 I admire your breadth of knowledge. 405 00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:29,941 I can only do one thing: Be an architect. 406 00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:32,527 I've spent the last 500 Bearimies 407 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:34,321 trying to learn how to play the guitar, 408 00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:37,115 and I just mastered "Hey There Delilah." 409 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:39,409 Don't sell yourself short, Michael. 410 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:42,746 I dare say you're the greatest architect in existence, 411 00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,498 and I should know. 412 00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:47,501 Frank Gehry is my godfather. 413 00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,628 Fair enough. I deserved that. 414 00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:52,089 Oh, Tahani, I'm gonna miss you, babe. 415 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,468 Wait. 416 00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:57,719 I don't want to leave. 417 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:58,970 Great! 418 00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:01,223 Then stay. New party, everyone. 419 00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,016 - A staying party. - Whoo! 420 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,185 No. I-I also don't want to stay. 421 00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:08,438 I'm done here, but I don't want to go there. 422 00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:10,106 It's kind of your only options. 423 00:19:10,190 --> 00:19:12,651 No, they aren't. 424 00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:15,695 I want to learn to do what you do, Michael. 425 00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:17,697 I want to be an architect. Design afterlives. 426 00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:20,283 Tahani, you're a wonderful person, 427 00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:22,953 but you're a person. It's impossible. 428 00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:24,871 Nonsense! I can learn. 429 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,873 Just like I learned all this other stuff. 430 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:30,085 I've spent most of my life pretending to help people. 431 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,212 If I were an architect, I could do it for real. 432 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,548 Let me at least try. 433 00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:38,176 Don't make me talk to your manager. 434 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,136 - Oh! - Ooh! 435 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:41,763 - That's my girl! - Oh. 436 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,182 Hey, Jeff. 437 00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:46,393 Boy, kind of getting away from you here, huh? 438 00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:48,228 Yeah. 439 00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:51,231 I love frogs though, so it's awesome. 440 00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:52,983 I did bring you one. 441 00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:55,735 Oh, thanks, Tahani. Just toss it on the pile. 442 00:19:55,819 --> 00:19:58,655 Glenn, Beadie, 443 00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,699 this is your new intern, Tahani. 444 00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:01,783 Tahani! 445 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,034 This is so neat. 446 00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:06,079 I haven't seen you since I was exploded into goo. 447 00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:08,081 I didn't get any me on you, did I? 448 00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:11,334 You did, but it's all goo under the bridge. 449 00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:14,504 Anyway, I want to learn everything. 450 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:17,591 I shall start at the bottom and earn my way up. 451 00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:20,218 To wit, would anyone like a cup of antimatter? 452 00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,470 Sure, I take mine with nondairy neutrinos. 453 00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,139 Coming right up. 454 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:31,104 Thank you, Michael, for everything. 455 00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,356 You're welcome. 456 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:36,527 I brought you a little "first day on the job" present. 457 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,614 Once you're a big deal around here, 458 00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:44,117 I hope you don't mind if I brag about knowing you. 459 00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:45,702 Name-dropping's a little gauche, Michael, 460 00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:49,456 but do as you must. 461 00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:51,166 Hmm. 462 00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,967 "Working out the terms of moral justification 463 00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:02,802 is an unending task." 464 00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:04,262 Boom! 465 00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:05,805 I did it! 466 00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:07,223 It only took me 2,000 Bearimies 467 00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:09,184 but I finally finished that book. 468 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,102 Ha-ha, sucker! 469 00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:12,729 Reading you was an unending task, 470 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:14,064 but I freaking did it! 471 00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:15,398 Congrats, babe. 472 00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:16,900 Thanks. What are you reading? 473 00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:18,652 - "The Da Vinci Code." - Really? 474 00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:20,654 Yeah, after a thousand lifetimes 475 00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:22,447 of reading the most difficult writings in the world, 476 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,491 I've acquired a new passion. 477 00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:26,034 Garbage books. 478 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:29,120 Hey, do you think I would've been a good symbologist, 479 00:21:29,204 --> 00:21:30,622 if that were a real job? 480 00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:32,499 Yes, I do. Ya very cute. 481 00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:35,043 - Come on. We gotta go to dinner. - Oh. 482 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,587 I cannot believe she learned to cook this well. 483 00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:39,172 When I first met Tahani on Earth, 484 00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:41,956 she was trying to shove jewelry into a vending machine. 485 00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:44,469 Okay, well, if she is an architect, 486 00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,846 then she should design my idea. 487 00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:49,349 A karaoke room that's also a tanning bed. 488 00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:50,600 Ooh, yes, 489 00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:52,143 and, like, the harder you commit to the song, 490 00:21:52,227 --> 00:21:53,728 like, the tanner you get? 491 00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:56,189 I gotta say, I am so glad that going through the system 492 00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:58,483 did not totally change you two ding-dongs. 493 00:21:58,567 --> 00:21:59,984 Oh. 494 00:22:00,068 --> 00:22:01,861 For dessert, we have to get the tiramisu. 495 00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:03,154 Man. 496 00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:06,116 Chidi Anagonye just casually making choices. 497 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,284 I never thought I'd live to see it. 498 00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:09,536 I mean, I guess I didn't. 499 00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:10,912 Oh, that's right! 500 00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:12,456 'Cause we're all dead! 501 00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:19,003 That was so fun. 502 00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:20,296 Yeah. 503 00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:21,673 Yeah, it's always fun to see them. 504 00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:23,842 Every time we do it, it's fun. 505 00:22:23,926 --> 00:22:25,635 I had coffee with my mom the other day, 506 00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:26,636 and she says hi, 507 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,388 but she also finally 508 00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,432 learned how to pronounce your mom's name. 509 00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:32,642 Which is good. 510 00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:34,519 Yeah, yeah, they were joking about that 511 00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:35,854 last time we saw them. 512 00:22:35,938 --> 00:22:37,063 - Mm. - Remember? 513 00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:39,066 Oh, right. Yeah. 514 00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:42,318 Shakespeare went through the door. 515 00:22:42,402 --> 00:22:44,237 - Really? - Yeah. 516 00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:46,740 - Everyone's talking about it. - It's probably for the best. 517 00:22:46,824 --> 00:22:48,867 His last 4,000 plays were not nearly as good 518 00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:50,618 as the ones he wrote on Earth. 519 00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:52,620 I mean, did you see "The Tempest 2: 520 00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:53,913 Here We Blow Again?" 521 00:22:53,997 --> 00:22:55,499 Woof. 522 00:23:00,671 --> 00:23:03,214 You mind if we go home? I'm tired. 523 00:23:03,298 --> 00:23:04,966 Sure. 524 00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,094 - All right. - Okay. 525 00:23:12,140 --> 00:23:14,476 Um... 526 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,060 I'm gonna get ready for bed. 527 00:23:16,144 --> 00:23:18,021 Cool. I'm gonna take a little stroll. 528 00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:20,232 - I'll see you in a bit. - Okay. 529 00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:27,530 Dude. 530 00:23:27,614 --> 00:23:28,698 Oh, hey, perfect. 531 00:23:28,782 --> 00:23:31,075 Are these good lyrics? 532 00:23:31,159 --> 00:23:35,038 ♪ The psychedelic stardust and moonbeam banana ♪ 533 00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:37,373 No, stop, that's terrible, and we got a problem. 534 00:23:37,457 --> 00:23:39,334 I think Chidi's gonna leave. 535 00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:41,461 Really? 536 00:23:41,545 --> 00:23:43,546 Did he say he was ready? 537 00:23:43,630 --> 00:23:45,965 He didn't say exactly that, but he's getting close. 538 00:23:46,049 --> 00:23:47,342 I can tell. 539 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:49,469 I need to do something to shake things up, you know? 540 00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:50,804 Light a spark. 541 00:23:50,888 --> 00:23:52,722 Oh! Janet? 542 00:23:52,806 --> 00:23:54,557 - Hi there. - Hi. 543 00:23:54,641 --> 00:23:56,559 I think Chidi's almost ready to walk through the door, 544 00:23:56,643 --> 00:23:58,561 and I need to keep him here, so, um, 545 00:23:58,645 --> 00:24:01,940 can you make me a bed shaped like a giant highlighter 546 00:24:02,024 --> 00:24:04,984 and, like, a sexy edible valedictorian robe? 547 00:24:05,068 --> 00:24:07,362 No, I think this calls for something spiritual. 548 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:08,822 Ah, okay, but if I do this right, 549 00:24:08,906 --> 00:24:10,198 my man's gonna be talking to God. 550 00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,866 You know what I mean? Wait, what do you mean? 551 00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:14,494 Forgive me, Eleanor, but if Chidi's ready to go, 552 00:24:14,578 --> 00:24:16,079 it's time for him to go. 553 00:24:16,163 --> 00:24:18,289 Ah, he didn't say that yet though. 554 00:24:18,373 --> 00:24:20,333 We're in classic Chidi gray area. 555 00:24:20,417 --> 00:24:21,626 You need to remind him 556 00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:23,628 of what's great about this place. 557 00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:24,963 Oh, oh. 558 00:24:25,047 --> 00:24:26,714 Remember where he took us, like, the first month 559 00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:27,882 when we were all together? 560 00:24:27,966 --> 00:24:29,259 Oh, great idea. Yes. 561 00:24:29,343 --> 00:24:30,385 Janet, set the scene. 562 00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:31,678 Okay. 563 00:24:31,762 --> 00:24:33,721 Would you like it restored to its original glory? 564 00:24:33,805 --> 00:24:34,889 No. 565 00:24:34,973 --> 00:24:36,683 The first time he went, he was in college. 566 00:24:36,767 --> 00:24:38,977 Have it look and feel exactly like it was 567 00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:41,229 that day when he fell in love with it. 568 00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:42,939 Also, pack me the edible robe. 569 00:24:43,023 --> 00:24:44,816 That might seal the deal. 570 00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:46,652 Okay. You're all set. 571 00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:50,071 Hey, guess what? 572 00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:51,573 Surprise trip. Come on. 573 00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:53,825 Surprise trip? Now? 574 00:24:53,909 --> 00:24:55,743 Yeah. Special fun trip, just us two. 575 00:24:55,827 --> 00:24:56,870 Let's go. 576 00:24:56,954 --> 00:24:58,830 Can I change out of my pajamas first? 577 00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:00,748 Let the door do it! Come on! 578 00:25:00,832 --> 00:25:03,460 - Come on, come on, come on. - Okay, okay, okay. 579 00:25:09,591 --> 00:25:11,134 Oh. 580 00:25:11,218 --> 00:25:13,428 Oh, man, Eleanor. 581 00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:14,554 Right? 582 00:25:14,638 --> 00:25:15,930 We haven't been here in so long. 583 00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:17,557 Athens. 584 00:25:17,641 --> 00:25:20,310 Man, this city, it takes my breath away every time. 585 00:25:20,394 --> 00:25:22,061 Talk it out, bud. 586 00:25:22,145 --> 00:25:23,813 Tell me everything you know about this place 587 00:25:23,897 --> 00:25:25,398 because, full disclosure, 588 00:25:25,482 --> 00:25:27,932 I didn't really listen the first time you told me. 589 00:25:28,402 --> 00:25:30,695 Well, I mean, that's the Acropolis. 590 00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:33,406 Oh, and this is the Pnyx. 591 00:25:33,490 --> 00:25:36,117 Thousands of Athenians would gather here 592 00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:38,995 and listen to people discuss their city and its laws 593 00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:41,706 from that stage right there. 594 00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:43,833 This is literally where democracy started. 595 00:25:43,917 --> 00:25:46,461 Well, that's fine and dandy, but as you may know, 596 00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:49,297 I'm kind of a philosophy gal. 597 00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:52,508 Where were the big brains hanging out? 598 00:25:52,592 --> 00:25:55,762 Socrates, Aristotle, Plato, Diogenes, 599 00:25:55,846 --> 00:25:59,432 they all gathered right here in the agora. 600 00:25:59,516 --> 00:26:02,060 It was like the Avengers, but for super thinkers. 601 00:26:03,270 --> 00:26:04,646 Oh, come on. You brought me here. 602 00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:06,064 You knew what was gonna happen. 603 00:26:06,148 --> 00:26:08,358 No, I love that you're so happy. 604 00:26:08,442 --> 00:26:09,943 Hey, let me ask you something. 605 00:26:10,027 --> 00:26:12,654 Is it weird that when I picture ancient Greeks, 606 00:26:12,738 --> 00:26:13,905 I make them really hot? 607 00:26:13,989 --> 00:26:15,156 Like, to me, 608 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,575 Aristotle is basically John Stamos with a beard. 609 00:26:17,659 --> 00:26:19,285 Honestly, that's kind of how I picture him too. 610 00:26:19,369 --> 00:26:21,496 Good, same page. 611 00:26:39,723 --> 00:26:42,016 What's this called again? Koulouvi? 612 00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:43,601 Koulouri, 613 00:26:43,685 --> 00:26:45,478 and I lived on these when I was here. 614 00:26:45,562 --> 00:26:48,189 I like to picture young Chidi Anagonye here, 615 00:26:48,273 --> 00:26:50,191 reading, nerding out, 616 00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:53,444 treating himself to a koulouri, if he had an astute insight 617 00:26:53,528 --> 00:26:55,571 into Aristotelian virtue ethics. 618 00:26:55,655 --> 00:26:57,907 Oh, that 619 00:26:57,991 --> 00:26:59,242 is accurate. 620 00:26:59,326 --> 00:27:03,038 That is an accurate picture of 20-year-old me. 621 00:27:04,998 --> 00:27:06,791 This was so special. 622 00:27:06,875 --> 00:27:08,418 Thank you. 623 00:27:08,502 --> 00:27:10,503 Should we head home? 624 00:27:10,587 --> 00:27:12,380 Nope, because 625 00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:14,215 we're not done yet. 626 00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:16,092 There's more special trip. 627 00:27:16,176 --> 00:27:18,052 - Janet? - Hi there. 628 00:27:18,136 --> 00:27:19,262 You enjoying your trip, Chidi? 629 00:27:19,346 --> 00:27:21,889 Yes, we are, but it's not over yet. 630 00:27:21,973 --> 00:27:25,435 We are ready to head to destination number two. 631 00:27:25,519 --> 00:27:27,770 - Remember? - Yes, of course. 632 00:27:27,854 --> 00:27:29,314 Head right this way. 633 00:27:34,820 --> 00:27:37,530 Oh, man. Oh, wow. 634 00:27:37,614 --> 00:27:38,740 Paris. 635 00:27:38,824 --> 00:27:41,951 Yes, Paris, obviously. 636 00:27:42,035 --> 00:27:43,536 My favorite city. 637 00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:46,539 And you even picked the ideal weather. 638 00:27:46,623 --> 00:27:48,374 Overcast and chilly. 639 00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:50,960 Perfect for staying inside and reading. 640 00:27:51,044 --> 00:27:53,046 Is this what you were hinting to me? 641 00:27:53,130 --> 00:27:56,591 I was thinking Six Flags, but this is way better. 642 00:27:57,592 --> 00:28:00,011 I used to come to this café every day when I lived here. 643 00:28:00,095 --> 00:28:01,929 I tried to sit in a different seat each time 644 00:28:02,013 --> 00:28:03,890 so I could eventually say 645 00:28:03,974 --> 00:28:07,018 that I definitely sat in the exact same place 646 00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:10,897 as Jean-Paul Sartre, Simone de Beauvoir, 647 00:28:10,981 --> 00:28:13,775 Richard Wright, Brecht, James Baldwin. 648 00:28:13,859 --> 00:28:17,403 Well, we got all the time in the world now, baby. 649 00:28:17,487 --> 00:28:20,365 Put that booty in a seat warmed by history. 650 00:28:23,118 --> 00:28:25,661 Eleanor, I know what you're doing. 651 00:28:25,745 --> 00:28:27,747 Being the best eternal girlfriend ever? 652 00:28:27,831 --> 00:28:29,791 Guilty. 653 00:28:29,875 --> 00:28:31,459 Let's take a walk. 654 00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:35,505 So, Eleanor, 655 00:28:35,589 --> 00:28:37,298 here it is. 656 00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:39,509 I love you, 657 00:28:39,593 --> 00:28:41,427 completely and utterly. 658 00:28:41,511 --> 00:28:42,595 Oh, crap. 659 00:28:42,679 --> 00:28:44,305 But I have to go. 660 00:28:44,389 --> 00:28:45,848 But you don't though. 661 00:28:45,932 --> 00:28:48,893 You don't have to go. You don't have to leave me. 662 00:28:48,977 --> 00:28:50,978 I don't want to leave you. 663 00:28:51,062 --> 00:28:53,981 I'm just ready to leave. 664 00:28:54,065 --> 00:28:56,567 I have the same feeling that the others described, 665 00:28:56,651 --> 00:28:58,736 a kind of quietude in my soul. 666 00:28:58,820 --> 00:29:00,988 But you just had it. 667 00:29:01,072 --> 00:29:03,199 What if those other dummies didn't wait long enough, 668 00:29:03,283 --> 00:29:04,784 and the feeling fades, 669 00:29:04,868 --> 00:29:07,495 and you get to spend another billion Bearimies 670 00:29:07,579 --> 00:29:10,623 in fake afterlife Europe with your kickass girlfriend? 671 00:29:10,707 --> 00:29:12,625 I didn't just have it. 672 00:29:12,709 --> 00:29:15,419 I've had it a long time. 673 00:29:15,503 --> 00:29:18,714 Remember that day we were with our parents? 674 00:29:18,798 --> 00:29:21,134 My mom kissed you good-bye, 675 00:29:21,218 --> 00:29:22,760 and got lipstick on your cheek, 676 00:29:22,844 --> 00:29:26,597 and your mom rubbed it off. 677 00:29:26,681 --> 00:29:30,685 I don't know why that was it, but 678 00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:33,187 that was it. 679 00:29:33,271 --> 00:29:36,315 And I didn't want to tell you because 680 00:29:36,399 --> 00:29:37,567 because. 681 00:29:37,651 --> 00:29:40,361 No, man, this can't be... 682 00:29:40,445 --> 00:29:42,363 Because Jason's gone, 683 00:29:42,447 --> 00:29:43,865 Tahani's off doing her thing, 684 00:29:43,949 --> 00:29:46,117 and I'm not ready to go, 685 00:29:46,201 --> 00:29:49,078 so if you leave, then I'm alone here. 686 00:29:49,162 --> 00:29:51,998 I was alone my whole life, 687 00:29:52,082 --> 00:29:55,918 and I told myself I like it that way, but I don't. 688 00:29:56,002 --> 00:29:58,922 I like being with you. 689 00:30:01,841 --> 00:30:03,926 Okay, I won't go. 690 00:30:04,010 --> 00:30:05,386 - Really? - Yeah, I won't go. 691 00:30:05,470 --> 00:30:07,221 There's... 692 00:30:07,305 --> 00:30:10,391 There is still plenty to do. 693 00:30:10,475 --> 00:30:14,061 I'll stay. 694 00:30:14,145 --> 00:30:15,855 Who's ready for Six Flags? 695 00:30:15,939 --> 00:30:17,398 Oh, we're good. 696 00:30:17,482 --> 00:30:19,067 We got it. He's gonna stay. 697 00:30:23,738 --> 00:30:25,239 So what do you want to do? 698 00:30:25,323 --> 00:30:28,451 Turn into birds and fly to Notre Dame? 699 00:30:28,535 --> 00:30:29,911 Stand at the top of the Eiffel Tower 700 00:30:29,995 --> 00:30:32,413 and throw water balloons onto imaginary tourists? 701 00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:34,248 Whatever you want to do. 702 00:30:34,332 --> 00:30:36,792 Okay, well, let's freshen up, 703 00:30:36,876 --> 00:30:38,711 have dinner at some schmancy restaurant, 704 00:30:38,795 --> 00:30:40,421 order a million-dollar bottle of wine, 705 00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:42,673 even though it tastes exactly like cheap, stupid wine, 706 00:30:42,757 --> 00:30:44,926 and sit in a room at the George V 707 00:30:45,010 --> 00:30:46,344 and watch "Real Housewives" 708 00:30:46,428 --> 00:30:49,096 of whatever city they're doing that in now. 709 00:30:49,180 --> 00:30:50,514 Love it. 710 00:30:50,598 --> 00:30:52,433 I'm gonna walk around my old neighborhood. 711 00:30:52,517 --> 00:30:53,976 See where I used to live. 712 00:30:54,060 --> 00:30:55,478 Meet you at the restaurant? 713 00:30:55,562 --> 00:30:57,397 - Yeah. - All right. 714 00:31:29,387 --> 00:31:31,639 Let's see what's on the menu. 715 00:31:33,308 --> 00:31:36,352 Literally anything you could possibly imagine. 716 00:31:36,436 --> 00:31:39,105 Hmm. What are you thinking? 717 00:31:39,189 --> 00:31:41,482 "Working out the terms of moral justification 718 00:31:41,566 --> 00:31:44,193 is an unending task." 719 00:31:44,277 --> 00:31:45,778 That's what I was thinking about. 720 00:31:45,862 --> 00:31:47,405 That sentence. 721 00:31:47,489 --> 00:31:48,823 You want to eat that sentence for dinner? 722 00:31:48,907 --> 00:31:50,116 Can we eat words? 723 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:51,492 'Cause I asked Janet about this, and... 724 00:31:51,576 --> 00:31:54,704 No, no, it's the last line of Scanlon's book. 725 00:31:54,788 --> 00:31:56,330 - Remember? - Ah. 726 00:31:56,414 --> 00:31:58,374 The whole book is about how we should try to find rules 727 00:31:58,458 --> 00:32:00,293 other people can't reasonably reject, 728 00:32:00,377 --> 00:32:02,420 and then he ends it by saying, 729 00:32:02,504 --> 00:32:04,797 "The search for how to find those rules 730 00:32:04,881 --> 00:32:07,717 will go on forever." 731 00:32:07,801 --> 00:32:09,427 I proposed a rule 732 00:32:09,511 --> 00:32:11,929 that Chidis shouldn't be allowed to leave 733 00:32:12,013 --> 00:32:14,265 because it would make Eleanors sad, 734 00:32:14,349 --> 00:32:17,018 and I could do this forever, 735 00:32:17,102 --> 00:32:20,604 zip you around the universe showing you cool stuff, 736 00:32:20,688 --> 00:32:24,233 and I'd still never find the justification 737 00:32:24,317 --> 00:32:27,903 for getting you to stay. 738 00:32:27,987 --> 00:32:31,532 Because it's a selfish rule. 739 00:32:31,616 --> 00:32:33,743 I owe it to you 740 00:32:33,827 --> 00:32:35,453 to let you go. 741 00:32:57,308 --> 00:32:59,852 I was never good at being sad. 742 00:32:59,936 --> 00:33:03,273 Partly because my mom straight up told me not to be. 743 00:33:04,774 --> 00:33:06,943 But this is sad, man. 744 00:33:08,653 --> 00:33:10,196 You got a John Locke quote 745 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:13,491 or piece of Kantian wisdom you can throw at me? 746 00:33:13,575 --> 00:33:17,411 Those guys were more focused on rules and regulations. 747 00:33:17,495 --> 00:33:20,247 For spiritual stuff, 748 00:33:20,331 --> 00:33:22,792 you gotta turn to the East. 749 00:33:22,876 --> 00:33:24,919 I'll take anything you got. Hit me. 750 00:33:28,298 --> 00:33:30,883 Picture a wave 751 00:33:30,967 --> 00:33:34,053 in the ocean. 752 00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:36,472 You can see it, measure it, its height, 753 00:33:36,556 --> 00:33:40,309 the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through, 754 00:33:40,393 --> 00:33:42,728 and it's there, 755 00:33:42,812 --> 00:33:44,021 and you can see it, you know what it is. 756 00:33:44,105 --> 00:33:46,649 It's a wave. 757 00:33:46,733 --> 00:33:49,902 And then it crashes on the shore, 758 00:33:49,986 --> 00:33:53,197 and it's gone. 759 00:33:53,281 --> 00:33:57,368 But the water is still there. 760 00:33:59,662 --> 00:34:02,873 The wave was just a... 761 00:34:02,957 --> 00:34:05,584 A different way for the water to be 762 00:34:05,668 --> 00:34:07,795 for a little while. 763 00:34:10,298 --> 00:34:13,759 That's one conception of death for a Buddhist. 764 00:34:13,843 --> 00:34:15,845 The wave 765 00:34:15,929 --> 00:34:17,931 returns to the ocean... 766 00:34:20,558 --> 00:34:23,853 where it came from, 767 00:34:23,937 --> 00:34:27,731 and where it's supposed to be. 768 00:34:27,815 --> 00:34:29,275 Not bad, Buddhists. 769 00:34:29,359 --> 00:34:31,194 Not bad. 770 00:34:33,446 --> 00:34:35,573 None of this is bad. 771 00:34:43,998 --> 00:34:45,708 I need you to do me one last favor. 772 00:34:45,792 --> 00:34:48,002 Mm-hmm? 773 00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:50,379 Say good-bye to me now, 774 00:34:50,463 --> 00:34:53,841 and leave before I wake up. 775 00:35:42,307 --> 00:35:44,975 You can sit on that bench as long as you'd like, 776 00:35:45,059 --> 00:35:47,353 and whenever you're ready, 777 00:35:47,437 --> 00:35:50,981 you just walk through. 778 00:35:51,065 --> 00:35:53,151 I'm ready. 779 00:36:11,044 --> 00:36:13,420 Oh, dip! You're back. 780 00:36:13,504 --> 00:36:15,089 - Jason? - Yeah! 781 00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:17,049 What... but how... 782 00:36:17,133 --> 00:36:18,384 Why... 783 00:36:18,468 --> 00:36:20,219 Funny story. 784 00:36:20,303 --> 00:36:21,929 Remember how I made you something, 785 00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:24,223 and I thought I lost it because it wasn't in my pocket? 786 00:36:24,307 --> 00:36:25,474 Uh-huh? 787 00:36:25,558 --> 00:36:27,142 Turns out it was in my other pocket! 788 00:36:27,226 --> 00:36:29,019 By the time I found it, you were gone. 789 00:36:29,103 --> 00:36:30,229 I was just gonna leave it for you, 790 00:36:30,313 --> 00:36:31,772 but I was worried it would get eaten 791 00:36:31,856 --> 00:36:33,399 by that magic squirrel. 792 00:36:33,483 --> 00:36:36,193 So, I decided to wait for you to come back. 793 00:36:36,277 --> 00:36:38,153 Every so often, a different Janet came, 794 00:36:38,237 --> 00:36:41,031 but I knew it wasn't you. 795 00:36:41,115 --> 00:36:43,951 Jason, it's been, like, a thousand Bearimies 796 00:36:44,035 --> 00:36:46,537 I know, but I wanted to see you again. 797 00:36:46,621 --> 00:36:48,872 It was actually pretty easy to wait. 798 00:36:48,956 --> 00:36:51,250 I sort of just sat quietly 799 00:36:51,334 --> 00:36:54,670 and let my mind drift away. 800 00:36:54,754 --> 00:36:56,255 Thought about you, 801 00:36:56,339 --> 00:36:58,841 and the infinity of the universe. 802 00:36:58,925 --> 00:37:00,676 Kind of like a monk. 803 00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:02,220 What do you mean? 804 00:37:10,561 --> 00:37:12,021 Looks good, not-a-girl. 805 00:37:16,693 --> 00:37:19,028 Chidi, wait up! 806 00:37:25,451 --> 00:37:26,368 I don't know, man. 807 00:37:26,452 --> 00:37:27,494 It's weird. 808 00:37:27,578 --> 00:37:30,080 I... I've been here for so long, 809 00:37:30,164 --> 00:37:33,292 I should be ready to go, but I'm not. 810 00:37:33,376 --> 00:37:35,753 I've made peace with everyone in my life, 811 00:37:35,837 --> 00:37:37,421 I even apologized to Charles Barkley 812 00:37:37,505 --> 00:37:39,465 for breaking into his house that one time. 813 00:37:39,549 --> 00:37:41,008 What else is there? 814 00:37:41,092 --> 00:37:42,509 Wait. Is it Brent? 815 00:37:42,593 --> 00:37:44,595 Do I have to wait around for Brent to get in 816 00:37:44,679 --> 00:37:46,096 so I can make peace with him? 817 00:37:46,180 --> 00:37:48,432 Yeah, you might be waiting a long time. 818 00:37:48,516 --> 00:37:50,017 Okay, hang on. Hang on. 819 00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:53,228 So, you can never tell a woman to smile? 820 00:37:53,312 --> 00:37:55,856 What if she'd legitimately be prettier if she smiled? 821 00:37:55,940 --> 00:37:57,191 Aren't I helping her? 822 00:37:57,275 --> 00:37:59,068 Oh, Brent. 823 00:37:59,152 --> 00:38:00,319 Hang in there, bud. 824 00:38:00,403 --> 00:38:01,737 I mean, I guess there's nothing left to do 825 00:38:01,821 --> 00:38:04,073 but keep searching for that magical 826 00:38:04,157 --> 00:38:06,116 "I'm complete" feeling. 827 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:07,242 Mm. 828 00:38:07,326 --> 00:38:08,994 I thought I had it yesterday, 829 00:38:09,078 --> 00:38:11,997 but then I farted a little and it went away. 830 00:38:12,081 --> 00:38:13,624 I mean, that couldn't have been it, right? 831 00:38:13,708 --> 00:38:15,834 The others said it was unmistakable. 832 00:38:15,918 --> 00:38:17,127 Yeah. 833 00:38:17,211 --> 00:38:18,337 There's gotta be a reason I'm still here. 834 00:38:18,421 --> 00:38:21,465 Just wish I knew what I was supposed to do. 835 00:38:21,549 --> 00:38:22,675 Yeah, I hear you, sister. 836 00:38:22,759 --> 00:38:24,718 I'm starting to feel a little directionless again. 837 00:38:24,802 --> 00:38:27,096 Being immortal, you kind of need projects to 838 00:38:27,180 --> 00:38:28,430 keep you busy. 839 00:38:28,514 --> 00:38:31,642 Do you realize how long forever is? 840 00:38:31,726 --> 00:38:33,811 It's, like, for-ever. 841 00:38:33,895 --> 00:38:35,896 Well, you still have the afterlife council. 842 00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:36,939 That's something. 843 00:38:37,023 --> 00:38:38,816 And you still suck at guitar. 844 00:38:38,900 --> 00:38:40,317 I do suck. 845 00:38:40,401 --> 00:38:41,360 That's true. 846 00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:42,394 That gives me hope. 847 00:38:43,404 --> 00:38:44,488 Hey-oh! 848 00:38:44,572 --> 00:38:46,949 Time to go nuts, 'cause I brought donuts... 849 00:38:47,033 --> 00:38:48,325 Huh, no one's here. 850 00:38:48,409 --> 00:38:50,369 Shoot. That was gonna be a big laugh. 851 00:38:50,453 --> 00:38:52,996 Hey, sweetie. Did you not get the message? 852 00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,249 No. Why, was the meeting canceled? 853 00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:57,584 Uh, yeah. Forever. 854 00:38:57,668 --> 00:38:59,002 We dissolved the council. 855 00:38:59,086 --> 00:39:00,546 - What? - We don't need it anymore. 856 00:39:00,630 --> 00:39:02,673 Your system's working perfectly. 857 00:39:02,757 --> 00:39:05,384 Millions of humans passing their tests, you know. 858 00:39:05,468 --> 00:39:06,802 Oh, Vicky's really killing it on the training, 859 00:39:06,886 --> 00:39:08,011 so it's all good. 860 00:39:08,095 --> 00:39:09,138 Well... 861 00:39:09,222 --> 00:39:10,556 All right, well... hang on, now. 862 00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:14,017 Look, how are we even sure that this is the right system? 863 00:39:14,101 --> 00:39:15,728 I mean, honestly, I think Shawn was right. 864 00:39:15,812 --> 00:39:16,812 This whole thing sucks 865 00:39:16,896 --> 00:39:18,147 and we should start from scratch. 866 00:39:18,231 --> 00:39:21,066 Relax, worrywart. Take a load off. 867 00:39:21,150 --> 00:39:23,193 Huh? Enjoy yourself. 868 00:39:23,277 --> 00:39:25,404 You know what I just discovered recently? 869 00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:26,739 Podcasts. 870 00:39:26,823 --> 00:39:28,532 There's, like, a billion of them 871 00:39:28,616 --> 00:39:30,451 and they just keep coming. 872 00:39:30,535 --> 00:39:31,660 - Hmm. - Now scoot. 873 00:39:31,744 --> 00:39:33,412 I got a new Radiolab to listen to 874 00:39:33,496 --> 00:39:35,164 about how clams learn. 875 00:39:35,248 --> 00:39:37,834 Pretty excited. 876 00:39:50,388 --> 00:39:52,347 I love you. 877 00:39:52,431 --> 00:39:53,932 And you don't need to respond, 878 00:39:54,016 --> 00:39:56,560 'cause I know you have trouble saying how you feel. 879 00:39:56,644 --> 00:39:58,521 I love you too. 880 00:40:01,148 --> 00:40:03,817 Knock, knock, knock. 881 00:40:03,901 --> 00:40:05,944 Oh. Hey, what's up? 882 00:40:06,028 --> 00:40:07,279 That's all I get? 883 00:40:07,363 --> 00:40:08,781 You haven't seen me in, like, forever. 884 00:40:08,865 --> 00:40:10,491 Oh. I'm sorry. 885 00:40:10,575 --> 00:40:11,784 Eleanor. 886 00:40:11,868 --> 00:40:14,036 Oh, my very best friend in the universe. 887 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:15,788 God, how I've missed you so. 888 00:40:15,872 --> 00:40:17,539 Please, embrace me. 889 00:40:17,623 --> 00:40:18,832 Much better. 890 00:40:18,916 --> 00:40:20,918 Can I talk to you for a sec? 891 00:40:21,002 --> 00:40:22,961 Yeah, sure, why not? 892 00:40:23,045 --> 00:40:24,922 - Hey, Derek? - Yes, Mindy? 893 00:40:25,006 --> 00:40:26,924 What can Derek do for you? 894 00:40:27,008 --> 00:40:28,842 Eleanor and I are gonna talk for a bit, 895 00:40:28,926 --> 00:40:30,636 so go into your nether sphere. 896 00:40:30,720 --> 00:40:32,012 That's Derek? 897 00:40:32,096 --> 00:40:36,433 Mindy has rebooted Derek more than 151 million times. 898 00:40:36,517 --> 00:40:38,977 Derek is now both a singular point in space, 899 00:40:39,061 --> 00:40:41,772 and yet, Derek also contains space itself. 900 00:40:41,856 --> 00:40:44,566 The nexus of Derek is without dimension. 901 00:40:44,650 --> 00:40:46,527 The moment of Derek's creation 902 00:40:46,611 --> 00:40:48,904 and the eventual heat death of the universe 903 00:40:48,988 --> 00:40:51,448 are now inexorably the same. 904 00:40:51,532 --> 00:40:54,702 Ugh, you are so annoying! 905 00:40:56,287 --> 00:40:58,080 Want a beer? 906 00:40:58,164 --> 00:41:00,207 So that's how you spend your days? 907 00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:01,583 Wandering around, 908 00:41:01,667 --> 00:41:03,877 searching for the thing that makes you complete? 909 00:41:03,961 --> 00:41:05,254 Pretty much. 910 00:41:05,338 --> 00:41:08,298 I thought it was connected to my parents or my friends, 911 00:41:08,382 --> 00:41:10,634 but now I think it might be something else. 912 00:41:10,718 --> 00:41:12,469 I think it might be you. 913 00:41:12,553 --> 00:41:16,056 I think my final mission might be to convince you 914 00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:17,391 to go through the system. 915 00:41:17,475 --> 00:41:19,643 Take the test. 916 00:41:19,727 --> 00:41:22,020 You know, when I first met you, I thought, 917 00:41:22,104 --> 00:41:23,480 "Oof, 918 00:41:23,564 --> 00:41:25,524 "well, there's a chick I understand. 919 00:41:25,608 --> 00:41:28,986 Lone wolf, totally independent, knows what she wants." 920 00:41:29,070 --> 00:41:30,696 Cocaine and self-pleasure. 921 00:41:30,780 --> 00:41:32,072 Right. 922 00:41:32,156 --> 00:41:34,741 But I actually think you're a version of me 923 00:41:34,825 --> 00:41:36,702 if I'd never met my friends. 924 00:41:36,786 --> 00:41:38,787 You're like the worst-case scenario 925 00:41:38,871 --> 00:41:40,622 of what I could have become. 926 00:41:40,706 --> 00:41:42,416 - No offense. - None taken. 927 00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:45,669 Look, the thing is, Eleanor, I am fine with where I am. 928 00:41:45,753 --> 00:41:48,171 See, I don't think you are. 929 00:41:48,255 --> 00:41:50,549 Or at least, you could be better. 930 00:41:50,633 --> 00:41:52,426 If we're cut from the same cloth, 931 00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:53,844 then trust me. 932 00:41:53,928 --> 00:41:56,179 There is greater happiness waiting for you 933 00:41:56,263 --> 00:41:58,307 if you form bonds with other people, 934 00:41:58,391 --> 00:42:00,475 and I think you know that. 935 00:42:00,559 --> 00:42:02,352 You told me about me and Chidi that time. 936 00:42:02,436 --> 00:42:03,812 You showed me the tape. 937 00:42:03,896 --> 00:42:05,188 You said you were rooting for us. 938 00:42:05,272 --> 00:42:07,191 I think you have the ability to care. 939 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:10,485 I don't know. 940 00:42:10,569 --> 00:42:12,112 Caring just seems like 941 00:42:12,196 --> 00:42:13,447 - a lot of work. - Mm. 942 00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:16,116 And I have been on my own for so long. 943 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:19,494 I can't imagine putting my fate in the hands of some stranger. 944 00:42:19,578 --> 00:42:22,915 I thought you might say that. 945 00:42:22,999 --> 00:42:24,917 Hello, gorgeous. 946 00:42:25,001 --> 00:42:26,919 Eleanor. 947 00:42:27,003 --> 00:42:29,713 And Mindy St. Claire, 948 00:42:29,797 --> 00:42:31,632 as I neither live nor breathe! 949 00:42:31,716 --> 00:42:33,592 What brings you ladies here? 950 00:42:33,676 --> 00:42:35,677 Trying to convince Mindy to enter the system 951 00:42:35,761 --> 00:42:37,054 after all this time. 952 00:42:37,138 --> 00:42:38,263 She's a little worried 953 00:42:38,347 --> 00:42:40,891 about who might end up designing her test... 954 00:42:40,975 --> 00:42:42,434 Say no more. I'm on the case. 955 00:42:42,518 --> 00:42:45,270 Really? Are you, like, certified or whatever? 956 00:42:45,354 --> 00:42:48,065 Well, not yet, but it won't be long, right, Shawn? 957 00:42:48,149 --> 00:42:49,483 Oh, I think you'll find 958 00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:51,151 that Tahani will be certified 959 00:42:51,235 --> 00:42:53,612 very soon. 960 00:42:53,696 --> 00:42:54,863 Did that sound evil? 961 00:42:54,947 --> 00:42:57,658 I didn't mean it to. I was sincere. 962 00:42:57,742 --> 00:42:58,992 Force of habit. 963 00:42:59,076 --> 00:43:00,827 I do think you'll find that Tahani will be certified 964 00:43:00,911 --> 00:43:02,162 ve... hmm. 965 00:43:02,246 --> 00:43:03,872 - Shut up, Glenn. - Great. 966 00:43:03,956 --> 00:43:05,624 So, you go back to your old life, 967 00:43:05,708 --> 00:43:07,334 chill with your floating Derek head, 968 00:43:07,418 --> 00:43:09,419 when Tahani gets certified, you enter the system, 969 00:43:09,503 --> 00:43:10,796 Tahani designs your test. 970 00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:12,506 Deal? 971 00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:14,592 Why not? Something new. 972 00:43:15,801 --> 00:43:19,137 Thanks for giving a crap about me. 973 00:43:19,221 --> 00:43:21,306 I don't really give a crap about myself, 974 00:43:21,390 --> 00:43:25,227 so it's nice that someone does. 975 00:43:25,311 --> 00:43:27,646 I'm really glad I filmed you having sex. 976 00:43:27,730 --> 00:43:30,608 Me too. 977 00:43:34,862 --> 00:43:37,364 You can sit on that bench as long as you want. 978 00:43:37,448 --> 00:43:40,575 Whenever you're ready, you just walk through. 979 00:43:40,659 --> 00:43:44,496 Well, good, 'cause I'm definitely ready. 980 00:43:44,580 --> 00:43:48,083 I'm ready. 981 00:43:48,167 --> 00:43:49,710 I'm not ready. 982 00:43:49,794 --> 00:43:51,545 Damn it, Janet. What the fork? 983 00:43:51,629 --> 00:43:53,964 I should be ready and I'm not. 984 00:43:54,048 --> 00:43:56,258 But I am. 985 00:43:56,342 --> 00:43:58,260 Michael, what are you doing? 986 00:43:58,344 --> 00:44:00,137 I'm going through the door. 987 00:44:00,221 --> 00:44:02,264 There's nothing left for me to do. 988 00:44:02,348 --> 00:44:05,350 I feel sated and complete. 989 00:44:05,434 --> 00:44:07,477 I'm not sure you're thinking this through, dude. 990 00:44:07,561 --> 00:44:10,564 Yes, I am. A calm has washed over me. 991 00:44:10,648 --> 00:44:11,606 Blah, blah, blah. 992 00:44:11,690 --> 00:44:13,400 Good-bye. 993 00:44:19,907 --> 00:44:21,616 Did I go through the wrong way? 994 00:44:21,700 --> 00:44:23,577 Wait, wait, just one minute. 995 00:44:23,661 --> 00:44:26,511 I know this is gonna look silly but it probably will work. 996 00:44:26,747 --> 00:44:27,956 Michael, what are you doing? 997 00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:29,541 I am returning my damn essence 998 00:44:29,625 --> 00:44:32,461 to the damn fabric of the damn universe. 999 00:44:32,545 --> 00:44:34,463 Oh, yeah. Okay. 1000 00:44:34,547 --> 00:44:36,131 Oh, there we go. 1001 00:44:36,215 --> 00:44:38,091 It's working now. 1002 00:44:38,175 --> 00:44:39,301 It's working. 1003 00:44:39,385 --> 00:44:40,677 I'm leaving. 1004 00:44:40,761 --> 00:44:41,762 Bye. 1005 00:44:44,181 --> 00:44:45,891 It's not working because you're looking. 1006 00:44:45,975 --> 00:44:47,017 Stop looking. 1007 00:44:47,101 --> 00:44:48,935 Michael, that door is not for you. 1008 00:44:49,019 --> 00:44:50,020 Why not? 1009 00:44:50,104 --> 00:44:52,105 I invented the damn thing! 1010 00:44:52,189 --> 00:44:53,482 You know, this stinks. 1011 00:44:53,566 --> 00:44:56,401 You guys get to move on, but I am trapped here forever? 1012 00:44:56,485 --> 00:44:57,402 How's that fair? 1013 00:44:57,486 --> 00:44:58,904 Oh, I got it. 1014 00:44:58,988 --> 00:45:01,740 Eleanor, come here. 1015 00:45:01,824 --> 00:45:04,076 You go through and give me a piggyback. 1016 00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:05,577 - We can trick it. - Ooh, no. Ow! 1017 00:45:05,661 --> 00:45:07,079 - Ow! Ow! Michael, no! - Hold still... well, hold... 1018 00:45:07,163 --> 00:45:09,206 Michael! All right. 1019 00:45:09,290 --> 00:45:11,374 Come with me. 1020 00:45:11,458 --> 00:45:12,834 Fire squids are heavy. 1021 00:45:12,918 --> 00:45:14,252 - Yeah. - Sorry. 1022 00:45:14,336 --> 00:45:17,297 New people are getting in all the time. 1023 00:45:17,381 --> 00:45:18,715 Tahani's still around. 1024 00:45:18,799 --> 00:45:20,008 Maybe you team up with her, 1025 00:45:20,092 --> 00:45:21,802 design some afterlife neighborhoods? 1026 00:45:21,886 --> 00:45:23,303 I did that already, remember? 1027 00:45:23,387 --> 00:45:25,138 Spent 50 Bearimies 1028 00:45:25,222 --> 00:45:27,724 making new neighborhoods for new residents. 1029 00:45:27,808 --> 00:45:29,559 When you've already designed the ultimate one, 1030 00:45:29,643 --> 00:45:31,561 it's kind of a letdown. 1031 00:45:31,645 --> 00:45:34,439 I've loved being here, but Jason's gone. 1032 00:45:34,523 --> 00:45:35,732 Chidi's gone. 1033 00:45:35,816 --> 00:45:38,735 You know, even Doug Forcett went through the door. 1034 00:45:38,819 --> 00:45:39,945 That was probably for the best. 1035 00:45:40,029 --> 00:45:42,447 That guy partied so hard when he was here. 1036 00:45:42,531 --> 00:45:44,741 I guess I'll just stay here forever, you know? 1037 00:45:44,825 --> 00:45:46,368 Putter around doing mundane things 1038 00:45:46,452 --> 00:45:48,787 like some sad old retiree. 1039 00:45:48,871 --> 00:45:51,790 Maybe I'll have Janet make me a hardware store 1040 00:45:51,874 --> 00:45:54,877 so I can buy a hex wrench that I don't really need. 1041 00:45:56,295 --> 00:45:57,420 Cockamamie! 1042 00:45:57,504 --> 00:45:59,047 That's what I think of your plan. 1043 00:45:59,131 --> 00:46:00,549 I think it's cockamamie. 1044 00:46:00,633 --> 00:46:01,967 I think it's a great plan, 1045 00:46:02,051 --> 00:46:04,386 and I bet deep down, you do too. 1046 00:46:04,470 --> 00:46:06,138 It sets a bad precedent. 1047 00:46:06,222 --> 00:46:09,432 Babe, no one else is ever gonna want to do this. 1048 00:46:09,516 --> 00:46:11,726 Plus, if they ask, you just say, "Sure, pal, 1049 00:46:11,810 --> 00:46:13,520 "go save every soul in the universe, 1050 00:46:13,604 --> 00:46:14,563 and then we got a deal." 1051 00:46:14,647 --> 00:46:16,022 And think about it this way: 1052 00:46:16,106 --> 00:46:17,941 If you do this, 1053 00:46:18,025 --> 00:46:20,986 you'll never have to hear from any of us 1054 00:46:21,070 --> 00:46:22,279 ever again. 1055 00:46:22,363 --> 00:46:24,281 Ooh. 1056 00:46:24,365 --> 00:46:25,532 Now that sounds tempting. 1057 00:46:25,616 --> 00:46:26,908 'Cause y'all are annoying. 1058 00:46:26,992 --> 00:46:28,827 I mean, you did save the universe and all, 1059 00:46:28,911 --> 00:46:30,453 but your tone. 1060 00:46:30,537 --> 00:46:32,706 - It's your tone. - I know. 1061 00:46:34,083 --> 00:46:36,251 Michael? 1062 00:46:36,335 --> 00:46:37,711 Come on in. 1063 00:46:45,511 --> 00:46:48,263 All my Earth stuff. 1064 00:46:48,347 --> 00:46:51,433 Oh, my old bowling ball. 1065 00:46:51,517 --> 00:46:54,769 Oh, hi, paper clips. 1066 00:46:54,853 --> 00:46:56,521 What prompted all this? 1067 00:46:56,605 --> 00:46:58,398 You know, it took me a while to figure it out, 1068 00:46:58,482 --> 00:46:59,774 but earlier, 1069 00:46:59,858 --> 00:47:01,443 when you were walking back and forth through the door, 1070 00:47:01,527 --> 00:47:02,736 it hit me. 1071 00:47:02,820 --> 00:47:04,654 You will never be at peace 1072 00:47:04,738 --> 00:47:07,408 until you get the one thing you truly want. 1073 00:47:10,452 --> 00:47:12,579 I'm... 1074 00:47:12,663 --> 00:47:13,788 I'm gonna be... 1075 00:47:13,872 --> 00:47:15,624 A real boy, Pinocchio. 1076 00:47:15,708 --> 00:47:18,293 The Judge gave me the power to make you an actual human. 1077 00:47:18,377 --> 00:47:20,545 Good-bye, fire squid. 1078 00:47:20,629 --> 00:47:22,464 Hello, silver fox. 1079 00:47:22,548 --> 00:47:24,716 Oh, Eleanor! 1080 00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:26,509 Oh, my goodness! 1081 00:47:26,593 --> 00:47:28,220 Now, you need to be sure about this. 1082 00:47:28,304 --> 00:47:30,764 You're gonna live down there for, like 1083 00:47:30,848 --> 00:47:32,015 some amount of time, 1084 00:47:32,099 --> 00:47:33,433 you'll die, really die, 1085 00:47:33,517 --> 00:47:35,060 then you'll enter an afterlife test, 1086 00:47:35,144 --> 00:47:36,853 be judged on what you did, the whole deal. 1087 00:47:36,937 --> 00:47:39,314 At least so we think. 1088 00:47:39,398 --> 00:47:40,565 While you're down there, 1089 00:47:40,649 --> 00:47:42,442 this entire system could be changed. 1090 00:47:42,526 --> 00:47:43,610 Shawn might launch a coup. 1091 00:47:43,694 --> 00:47:45,153 Someone could design a whole new system. 1092 00:47:45,237 --> 00:47:47,280 You won't really know 1093 00:47:47,364 --> 00:47:49,824 what's going to happen to you. 1094 00:47:49,908 --> 00:47:51,743 That's what makes it special. 1095 00:47:51,827 --> 00:47:54,663 I won't exactly know what's going to happen 1096 00:47:54,747 --> 00:47:56,373 after I die. 1097 00:47:56,457 --> 00:48:00,377 Nothing more human than that. 1098 00:48:00,461 --> 00:48:03,255 Besides texting people that you're five minutes away 1099 00:48:03,339 --> 00:48:05,189 when you haven't even left the house. 1100 00:48:08,052 --> 00:48:11,388 Thank you, Eleanor. Thank you. 1101 00:48:14,391 --> 00:48:16,560 You're very welcome. 1102 00:48:19,938 --> 00:48:21,523 Hey, Mike. Where you headed today? 1103 00:48:21,607 --> 00:48:23,233 Earth, actually. 1104 00:48:23,317 --> 00:48:25,193 Oh. Been a while. 1105 00:48:25,277 --> 00:48:26,569 Here's the return clicker. 1106 00:48:26,653 --> 00:48:27,821 No need. 1107 00:48:27,905 --> 00:48:29,781 One-way trip. 1108 00:48:29,865 --> 00:48:31,033 Wow. 1109 00:48:32,201 --> 00:48:33,327 Okay. 1110 00:48:34,828 --> 00:48:35,870 Good luck. 1111 00:48:35,954 --> 00:48:37,330 Thank you. 1112 00:48:37,414 --> 00:48:38,498 I have something for you. 1113 00:48:38,582 --> 00:48:39,917 Yeah? 1114 00:48:44,922 --> 00:48:46,798 He's real! 1115 00:48:46,882 --> 00:48:48,508 It's real! He's a real frog! 1116 00:48:48,592 --> 00:48:49,884 Yes, it sure is. 1117 00:48:49,968 --> 00:48:52,429 You should understand something about real frogs. 1118 00:48:52,513 --> 00:48:53,847 They don't live forever. 1119 00:48:53,931 --> 00:48:55,265 I know. 1120 00:48:55,349 --> 00:48:56,516 But... 1121 00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:58,700 I'ma take good care of him while he's here. 1122 00:49:00,062 --> 00:49:02,647 Thank you. And you know what? 1123 00:49:02,731 --> 00:49:04,733 I got the perfect name for him. 1124 00:49:06,902 --> 00:49:08,820 Mr. Jumpy Legs. 1125 00:49:08,904 --> 00:49:10,447 Oh. 1126 00:49:10,531 --> 00:49:12,324 I thought you were gonna... 1127 00:49:12,408 --> 00:49:14,576 Never mind. 1128 00:49:14,660 --> 00:49:16,828 Hello, Mr. Jumpy Legs! 1129 00:49:16,912 --> 00:49:18,955 Okay. 1130 00:49:19,039 --> 00:49:20,874 So, here's your driver's license 1131 00:49:20,958 --> 00:49:22,834 and your Social Security card. 1132 00:49:22,918 --> 00:49:24,085 I set up a bank account for you. 1133 00:49:24,169 --> 00:49:26,171 There's enough money in there so that you don't starve, 1134 00:49:26,255 --> 00:49:29,424 but not so much that you become an entitled jerk. 1135 00:49:29,508 --> 00:49:30,884 Thank you, Janet. 1136 00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:32,677 Make a doctor's appointment as soon as you get down there. 1137 00:49:32,761 --> 00:49:33,970 And no salty food. 1138 00:49:34,054 --> 00:49:35,722 You have to keep your blood pressure down. 1139 00:49:35,806 --> 00:49:37,474 You have blood now. 1140 00:49:37,558 --> 00:49:40,101 I'll be fine. I'll be okay. 1141 00:49:40,185 --> 00:49:42,771 I know. I just worry. 1142 00:49:47,025 --> 00:49:49,569 I'll see you again, you know. 1143 00:49:49,653 --> 00:49:52,072 I'll see you when I get back. 1144 00:49:53,782 --> 00:49:56,243 Okay. 1145 00:50:00,664 --> 00:50:02,374 If you rent a car, don't pay for the insurance. 1146 00:50:02,458 --> 00:50:04,793 It's a scam. Okay. 1147 00:50:15,554 --> 00:50:18,473 Man, it's hot. 1148 00:50:18,557 --> 00:50:21,018 But it's a... it's a dry heat. 1149 00:50:25,439 --> 00:50:27,357 So, as I mentioned before, 1150 00:50:27,441 --> 00:50:30,777 you can sit on this bench as long as you want, 1151 00:50:30,861 --> 00:50:34,531 and whenever you're ready, you just walk through. 1152 00:50:34,615 --> 00:50:37,201 Care to join me for a bit? 1153 00:50:41,205 --> 00:50:42,622 Margarita? 1154 00:50:42,706 --> 00:50:45,708 Always. 1155 00:50:45,792 --> 00:50:47,544 Mmm. 1156 00:50:49,463 --> 00:50:52,257 Okay, top three moments 1157 00:50:52,341 --> 00:50:55,009 of your not-life with us. Go. 1158 00:50:55,093 --> 00:50:57,387 You telling us that we should 1159 00:50:57,471 --> 00:50:59,806 try to help other people on Earth, 1160 00:50:59,890 --> 00:51:02,559 the moment that we all got into the Good Place for real, 1161 00:51:02,643 --> 00:51:05,186 and then it's an 8-million-way tie 1162 00:51:05,270 --> 00:51:07,480 of every time Jason and I kissed. 1163 00:51:07,564 --> 00:51:09,814 - He was a really good kisser. - I bet he was. 1164 00:51:12,152 --> 00:51:13,903 I wonder how Michael's doing. 1165 00:51:13,987 --> 00:51:17,824 I assume he's doing the same as every human. 1166 00:51:17,908 --> 00:51:20,827 - Three, two, one... - Some good days. 1167 00:51:20,911 --> 00:51:23,037 Happy New Year! 1168 00:51:23,121 --> 00:51:25,081 Some bad days. 1169 00:51:25,165 --> 00:51:27,250 She's gonna be okay. 1170 00:51:27,334 --> 00:51:30,920 This city has really good hospitals. 1171 00:51:31,004 --> 00:51:32,714 He's got a few friends. 1172 00:51:32,798 --> 00:51:34,799 Such a good boy, Jason. 1173 00:51:34,883 --> 00:51:36,510 Such a good boy. 1174 00:51:38,053 --> 00:51:39,805 A few people he can't stand. 1175 00:51:44,268 --> 00:51:46,019 He's learning some things all by himself. 1176 00:51:46,103 --> 00:51:48,730 Oh, geez, ow! 1177 00:51:50,816 --> 00:51:55,236 And hopefully learning to ask for help when he needs it. 1178 00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:57,990 Guitar like this. Fingers this way. 1179 00:52:02,202 --> 00:52:04,120 You have no idea how long 1180 00:52:04,204 --> 00:52:06,456 I've been trying to figure that out. 1181 00:52:06,540 --> 00:52:08,875 Well, everybody needs a teacher. 1182 00:52:08,959 --> 00:52:10,210 So do it again. 1183 00:52:10,294 --> 00:52:11,711 He's messing up, 1184 00:52:11,795 --> 00:52:13,671 and trying again, and messing up again, 1185 00:52:13,755 --> 00:52:15,256 and then getting things wrong, 1186 00:52:15,340 --> 00:52:17,592 and then trying to make them right. 1187 00:52:17,676 --> 00:52:20,053 That's what everyone does. 1188 00:52:20,137 --> 00:52:22,347 - To Michael. - To Michael. 1189 00:52:25,183 --> 00:52:26,601 What do you think happens 1190 00:52:26,685 --> 00:52:27,936 when people walk through the door? 1191 00:52:28,020 --> 00:52:31,397 It's the only thing in the universe I don't know. 1192 00:52:31,481 --> 00:52:34,192 I don't know either. 1193 00:52:34,276 --> 00:52:37,320 The wave returns to the ocean. 1194 00:52:37,404 --> 00:52:39,614 What the ocean does with the water after that 1195 00:52:39,698 --> 00:52:41,866 is anyone's guess. 1196 00:52:41,950 --> 00:52:44,911 But as a very wise 1197 00:52:44,995 --> 00:52:47,288 not-robot once told me, 1198 00:52:47,372 --> 00:52:50,750 true joy is in the mystery. 1199 00:52:50,834 --> 00:52:54,420 Do you mind if I stay here until you're gone? 1200 00:52:54,504 --> 00:52:57,840 Only if you say that thing I taught you. 1201 00:52:57,924 --> 00:53:00,093 I hate to see you walk through the final door 1202 00:53:00,177 --> 00:53:02,303 at the edge of existence, 1203 00:53:02,387 --> 00:53:04,556 but I love to watch you leave. 1204 00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:05,682 There we go. 1205 00:54:13,750 --> 00:54:15,918 Hey, this was delivered to my building by mistake. 1206 00:54:16,002 --> 00:54:17,879 - I think it's yours. - Oh, hey. 1207 00:54:17,963 --> 00:54:19,797 - Thanks so much. - Mm-hmm. 1208 00:54:19,881 --> 00:54:21,341 Oh, wow. 1209 00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:23,718 I think I know what this is. 1210 00:54:23,802 --> 00:54:25,678 Oh. 1211 00:54:25,762 --> 00:54:26,679 Oh, my. 1212 00:54:26,763 --> 00:54:28,640 Oh, my. 1213 00:54:28,724 --> 00:54:30,016 Look at that. 1214 00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:32,185 Oh, thank you. 1215 00:54:32,269 --> 00:54:34,979 Thank you so very, very much. 1216 00:54:35,063 --> 00:54:37,357 Yeah, no problem. Take it easy. 1217 00:54:37,441 --> 00:54:40,568 I'll do you one better. 1218 00:54:40,652 --> 00:54:42,111 I'll say this to you, my friend, 1219 00:54:42,195 --> 00:54:45,323 with all the love in my heart 1220 00:54:45,407 --> 00:54:47,826 and all the wisdom of the universe. 1221 00:54:49,953 --> 00:54:51,538 Take it sleazy. 1222 00:54:55,625 --> 00:54:57,294 All right. 1223 00:55:12,100 --> 00:55:15,311 ♪ Riding on a groovy wave of love ♪ 1224 00:55:15,395 --> 00:55:19,023 ♪ I'm going for a cosmic ride ♪ 1225 00:55:19,107 --> 00:55:22,944 ♪ Surf the freaky purple vibes of love ♪ 1226 00:55:23,028 --> 00:55:24,278 ♪ The marshmallow oat ♪ 1227 00:55:24,362 --> 00:55:26,323 ♪ Is inside ♪ 1228 00:55:29,868 --> 00:55:31,661 ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 1229 00:55:33,330 --> 00:55:34,831 ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 1230 00:55:36,500 --> 00:55:40,754 ♪ We're gonna find a way back to the sun ♪ 1231 00:55:42,589 --> 00:55:44,758 ♪ Back to the one ♪