1 00:00:09,860 --> 00:00:11,434 I'm leaving you. 2 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,895 - What's the difference? - Speed. 3 00:01:11,454 --> 00:01:14,968 So is it faster? 4 00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:24,977 Much faster than in a wheelchair. 5 00:01:27,938 --> 00:01:29,483 Walk on your knees? 6 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,659 It's faster. 7 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:37,998 At intersections and stations... 8 00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:47,668 I'm slow, but much faster than in a wheelchair. 9 00:01:48,091 --> 00:01:56,679 GOODBYE PC 10 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,862 I was so scared. 11 00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,106 Like this? 12 00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:30,102 I was scared to turn red. 13 00:03:31,561 --> 00:03:33,607 My life was at risk. 14 00:03:37,067 --> 00:03:40,717 I was desperate. 15 00:03:41,338 --> 00:03:49,289 CP stands for cerebral palsy. 16 00:03:49,746 --> 00:03:57,299 On April 18, 1948, my first child was born. 17 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:03,302 He stayed in a hospital for a week. 18 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:10,643 He was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy... 19 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:17,321 at 18 months of age. 20 00:04:17,774 --> 00:04:22,494 We take him to many doctors different... 21 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:26,826 and we did everything we could. 22 00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:31,994 I even gave up cigarettes and alcohol... 23 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:37,504 praying for your recovery. 24 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:42,512 When I first heard that my son had CP, 25 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:49,015 I was shocked and didn't know what to do. 26 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:54,020 But I had to something. 27 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:58,855 I thought there must be something that I could do for him. 28 00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,701 I was determined to do whatever was needed. 29 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:09,032 My husband and I study everything about PC in the library. 30 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:12,038 Some CP patients are killed at birth or... 31 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,210 They are victims of family suicides. 32 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:17,550 But I believe it's my duty as a mother... 33 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:21,046 find a way for him survive in this world. 34 00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:24,220 That's what I believe and we continue to do that 35 00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:30,219 so he can live normally after we leave. 36 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:35,908 Like everyone else, I did everything I could, like any mother would do... 37 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:39,728 I tried with all my might. 38 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:43,076 After I knew that nothing could be done, 39 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:47,904 I did everything so he could have a happy life. 40 00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:52,241 He was given life. 41 00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:55,918 He deserves it just as much anyone else. 42 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:59,589 I always think about that. 43 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:05,929 I'm prepared to do everything for him. 44 00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:08,598 Really everything. 45 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:14,271 Since I had my son, 46 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:19,772 I gained a lot of knowledge. 47 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:25,608 If it weren't for my son, I would have been a reclusive mother. 48 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,283 Through my son, 49 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:34,116 I met a lot of people who would otherwise I wouldn't have known. 50 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:38,124 People from different social groups of our society. 51 00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:43,960 We don't keep him at home. We take it everywhere. 52 00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:50,131 When I see students protesting and using violence, 53 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,639 I feel very proud to have the son I have. 54 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:59,641 I always felt a little embarrassed... 55 00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:05,314 of having a child with CP. 56 00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:11,824 My husband complained a lot when he was drunk. 57 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:16,158 I often thought to get divorced. 58 00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:19,335 But seeing my son... 59 00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:26,339 I always wanted to move forward. 60 00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:31,844 So I tried my best to keep my family together. 61 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,847 My son... 62 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:41,024 I'm really grateful for my son... 63 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:49,358 for our happiness and for maintaining my family together. 64 00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:55,205 I don't treat you any differently just because he is disabled. 65 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:59,205 But as a father... 66 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,878 As the old saying goes... 67 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:09,052 "a child with a disability It's much more adorable." 68 00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:16,923 It's natural for parents. I really think so. 69 00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:23,066 Being in a wheelchair It's like... 70 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:38,074 be attended to and protected by angels. 71 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,080 We can... 72 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,918 be killed... 73 00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:51,090 tomorrow. 74 00:08:53,049 --> 00:08:55,425 We want... 75 00:08:57,053 --> 00:08:59,099 live... 76 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:01,938 freely... 77 00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:14,442 as beings... 78 00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:18,386 humans. 79 00:09:19,575 --> 00:09:24,386 So please help... 80 00:09:33,089 --> 00:09:36,136 The Green Grass Movement. 81 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:44,082 Relva Verde was... 82 00:09:48,104 --> 00:09:54,826 established by the people with disabilities. 83 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:58,653 - Why did you donate? - I just wanted to help. 84 00:09:58,781 --> 00:10:01,327 - Did you donate? - I gave 200 yen. 85 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,840 I just felt bad. 86 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:14,837 I'm interested in problems social. 87 00:10:16,132 --> 00:10:19,509 My son felt sorry. 88 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:23,845 - I felt sorry. - No special reason. 89 00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,693 I just felt bad. 90 00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:30,458 I heard it on the news. 91 00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:33,525 - Why did you donate? - I don't know. 92 00:10:35,151 --> 00:10:38,369 I passed by here earlier and I saw them. 93 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:45,372 As I leave again, I wanted to give them something. 94 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,716 I felt sorry. 95 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,219 My friend's son is disabled. 96 00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:56,479 Some people are unlucky. 97 00:10:57,306 --> 00:11:00,148 I became sensitive. 98 00:11:00,176 --> 00:11:03,553 - How? - They are human, like us. 99 00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:07,730 But I wonder why they are deficient. 100 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:12,732 All these problems with medical practice,.... 101 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:16,906 religion, pollution... 102 00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:21,411 and all these inhuman problems of the human race... 103 00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:24,250 make me very sad. 104 00:11:24,534 --> 00:11:29,254 What the Buddha predicted 2500 years ago... 105 00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,921 Now it's starting to happen. 106 00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,919 Humanity has lost its soul. 107 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:39,925 Our society faces problems and afflictions. 108 00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:45,931 I would just like to help people in need. 109 00:11:46,222 --> 00:11:48,768 We are returning home after visiting the family tomb. 110 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,440 Why did you donate? 111 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:54,781 Well, the problem is... 112 00:11:56,132 --> 00:12:00,613 they can't work like us. 113 00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:07,950 Therefore, we must at least try to help. 114 00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:18,961 No special reason, but things It must be very difficult for them. 115 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,633 That's why I donated. 116 00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:25,569 This is everyone's problem. It could happen to anyone. 117 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,307 I don't know. 118 00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:35,817 I became sensitive. 119 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,820 With what? 120 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:43,390 I just imagined that it might have happened to one of my children. 121 00:12:43,412 --> 00:12:46,493 I have three children. 122 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:47,993 Why did you donate? 123 00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:49,828 I don't know. 124 00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:56,839 Well my son died as a result of CP. 125 00:12:57,693 --> 00:13:00,192 So I wanted to help. 126 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:03,675 I know someone who has a PC. 127 00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,877 Then I felt really bad. 128 00:13:06,135 --> 00:13:08,381 They are so helpless. 129 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:17,690 I wanted to do what could I do? 130 00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:23,024 I became interested in such problems. 131 00:13:23,452 --> 00:13:25,862 - I felt sorry. - Why? 132 00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:33,375 I don't know. 133 00:13:35,331 --> 00:13:37,377 - I felt bad. - Why? 134 00:13:41,337 --> 00:13:42,655 I just felt it. 135 00:13:42,672 --> 00:13:44,547 I just wanted to help. 136 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:48,156 It must be difficult for them. 137 00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:53,657 But they do what they can. 138 00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:57,695 Poor things. 139 00:13:58,354 --> 00:14:01,674 I'm from the countryside. 140 00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:05,566 I've never seen anything like this. 141 00:14:05,962 --> 00:14:09,180 I felt so much for them. 142 00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,385 I'm very sorry. 143 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:21,090 Well... I mean their bodies. 144 00:14:23,179 --> 00:14:27,296 I felt sorry. We are blessed. 145 00:14:28,517 --> 00:14:30,096 I felt sorry. 146 00:14:32,388 --> 00:14:37,836 It must be difficult to do so many things. 147 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:39,771 Why did you donate? 148 00:14:40,229 --> 00:14:42,775 My mother sent me. 149 00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:46,445 Why donate? Well... 150 00:14:47,203 --> 00:14:50,284 Because my life is stable. 151 00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:52,783 That's why. 152 00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:56,287 Well, I feel sorry for them too. 153 00:14:59,248 --> 00:15:05,128 We are all human beings. But they were unlucky. 154 00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:07,966 Isn't that right? 155 00:15:08,557 --> 00:15:10,136 Why did you donate? 156 00:15:11,694 --> 00:15:15,811 I was very moved... 157 00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:21,415 with their strong desire to live. 158 00:15:23,305 --> 00:15:28,593 I? My son is in good health, So I feel blessed. 159 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:33,932 I want them to have it too good health. 160 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:37,825 I want them to cheer up. 161 00:15:40,456 --> 00:15:42,001 Yes, he is there now. 162 00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,672 - At installation? - Yes. 163 00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:45,602 Why didn't you live together? 164 00:15:45,795 --> 00:15:50,776 Well, it's for my son's future. 165 00:15:51,934 --> 00:15:56,619 - Is being at the facility better? - I think so. 166 00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,357 For him, it's better. 167 00:15:58,474 --> 00:16:01,692 Do you think they should be institutionalized? 168 00:16:01,744 --> 00:16:05,292 My son has been there for 5 years. 169 00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:08,860 It was for the best. 170 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:14,036 It's a real struggle for them. 171 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:18,741 And the government doesn't do enough. 172 00:16:18,761 --> 00:16:21,876 That's why I wanted to help. 173 00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:24,546 I'm lucky to have what I have. 174 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:30,379 They would never be cured. 175 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:33,885 I thought they needed of some money. 176 00:16:37,313 --> 00:16:39,393 In my opinion... 177 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:42,898 we are an object of pity for them. 178 00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:49,071 They make their children make donations. 179 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:54,243 Fine by me. 180 00:16:55,664 --> 00:16:56,913 Furthermore,... 181 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,181 It's better to feel sorry... 182 00:17:01,337 --> 00:17:06,057 than not having... 183 00:17:07,376 --> 00:17:08,921 no interest. 184 00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:15,757 Donate money through your children... 185 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:23,439 even out of pity... 186 00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:31,940 makes them feel better, 187 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:37,551 then it's fine with me. 188 00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:44,459 I'd rather give up... 189 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:48,700 If we are to operate under the principle... 190 00:17:50,586 --> 00:17:55,135 that we are the weak ones. 191 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,969 I would give up. 192 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:03,809 When I talk to the crowd, 193 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:06,652 I always think... 194 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:14,320 what separates people with deficiency of healthy people. 195 00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:18,729 When I hold a microphone... 196 00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:24,163 and I speak to the crowd, 197 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:26,937 I can't help it... 198 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:31,567 to feel that I am unhappy. 199 00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:45,354 How can I say this? 200 00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:50,791 I try to resist the idea... 201 00:18:50,946 --> 00:18:54,027 inside my head. 202 00:18:54,717 --> 00:19:01,098 But I always find myself asking out of sympathy. 203 00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:04,043 Oh no. 204 00:19:13,669 --> 00:19:17,046 - You must be relieved. - Yes I am. 205 00:19:17,473 --> 00:19:20,657 - Did it hurt? - Of course. 206 00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:25,897 The baby is premature. 207 00:19:26,682 --> 00:19:31,561 200 grams below normal weight. A little too bright. 208 00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:37,100 What's next to be hit by him? 209 00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:10,105 He's yawning. 210 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,949 An adorable boy. 211 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:04,087 I really tried, 212 00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:09,165 but catch the eye line from someone... 213 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:15,671 It's very difficult. 214 00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:21,776 When I point a camera for people, 215 00:21:21,797 --> 00:21:24,173 everyone looks away. 216 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:28,118 I already hope for that. 217 00:21:30,472 --> 00:21:34,190 Point the camera and... 218 00:21:34,810 --> 00:21:39,689 take a photo in front of them it was very scary. 219 00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:42,534 I was really scared. 220 00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:51,141 If they are far away, it's easy. 221 00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:55,213 To get closer than one meter... 222 00:21:57,232 --> 00:22:01,041 when I walk towards them or... 223 00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:10,294 when they go down the stairs, 224 00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:21,062 I feel enormous pressure. 225 00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:28,870 When I took photos at bus stop, 226 00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:32,683 I was very scared. 227 00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:13,720 I walk slowly and I look pathetic. 228 00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:19,461 What's wrong with that? 229 00:23:20,382 --> 00:23:23,896 Walking on your knees... 230 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:28,365 does not make me unable to walk. 231 00:23:29,591 --> 00:23:32,308 We feel like foreigners. 232 00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:35,246 We really are. 233 00:23:36,098 --> 00:23:38,474 We will never be able to... 234 00:23:38,934 --> 00:23:43,654 take part. 235 00:23:45,174 --> 00:23:49,154 Those who think... 236 00:23:49,845 --> 00:23:54,098 that others are privileged... 237 00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:01,165 could end up being... 238 00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:04,506 a foreigner. 239 00:24:06,028 --> 00:24:12,284 Why don't they realize this? 240 00:24:12,868 --> 00:24:17,849 That's the point we're at trying to emphasize. 241 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,688 No dinner tonight? 242 00:24:19,808 --> 00:24:22,525 We must take home tangerines. 243 00:24:29,318 --> 00:24:30,692 That's a problem. 244 00:24:34,056 --> 00:24:35,874 You dropped it. 245 00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:37,470 You will do better next time. 246 00:24:37,492 --> 00:24:40,971 - It's delicious. - It's great. 247 00:24:40,996 --> 00:24:42,871 Are you sharing? 248 00:24:59,348 --> 00:25:02,224 Eating is the most fun. 249 00:25:03,919 --> 00:25:07,171 This is disgusting. 250 00:25:12,361 --> 00:25:14,236 This is scary. 251 00:25:28,043 --> 00:25:30,521 My stomach feels weird. 252 00:25:32,514 --> 00:25:34,423 I ate too much. 253 00:25:45,961 --> 00:25:48,610 They also have fish. 254 00:25:48,630 --> 00:25:54,715 They have everything. Tea, fish, fruit. 255 00:25:54,736 --> 00:25:57,453 The fish is not good these days. 256 00:26:00,475 --> 00:26:04,284 - Because of pollution. - Yes, from pollution. 257 00:26:04,746 --> 00:26:08,396 The industrial sludge It's a big problem. 258 00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:26,644 This one is sour. 259 00:26:41,917 --> 00:26:43,628 Sorry. 260 00:26:45,854 --> 00:26:49,333 You have to eat this in 40 minutes. 261 00:27:08,877 --> 00:27:10,525 Come here. 262 00:27:20,722 --> 00:27:22,040 Go ahead. 263 00:27:23,658 --> 00:27:25,135 Eat. 264 00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:35,572 I started smoking... 265 00:28:36,565 --> 00:28:39,441 when I was 16 years old. 266 00:28:39,468 --> 00:28:46,122 I slept with a woman at 18 years old. 267 00:28:46,141 --> 00:28:49,222 It was then that I realized... 268 00:28:50,812 --> 00:28:53,461 that I was a man. 269 00:28:55,817 --> 00:28:59,626 I went... 270 00:29:01,656 --> 00:29:09,140 to a red light district. I went there. 271 00:29:12,667 --> 00:29:16,146 I kept going for four years. 272 00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:18,820 The first time I went... 273 00:29:19,674 --> 00:29:22,823 How can I say? 274 00:29:24,346 --> 00:29:29,498 I don't exactly... 275 00:29:30,185 --> 00:29:33,596 I slept with a woman. 276 00:29:35,023 --> 00:29:39,174 I must say that... 277 00:29:41,029 --> 00:29:45,840 I was not able to give them pleasure. 278 00:29:49,871 --> 00:29:54,852 I just... 279 00:29:56,778 --> 00:30:00,621 I satisfied myself. 280 00:30:04,219 --> 00:30:08,665 The second time, 281 00:30:15,063 --> 00:30:19,316 I slept... 282 00:30:19,401 --> 00:30:24,553 with a different woman. 283 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:28,560 This woman... 284 00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:32,993 She was very good. 285 00:30:36,918 --> 00:30:38,497 And she... 286 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:43,240 He made me come with his sighs. 287 00:30:43,525 --> 00:30:48,074 It may have been... 288 00:30:49,197 --> 00:30:51,015 because... 289 00:30:51,266 --> 00:30:54,745 I was disabled. 290 00:30:58,006 --> 00:31:06,356 I was told to speak honestly about me. 291 00:31:06,615 --> 00:31:12,427 I left the premises when I was 16 years old. 292 00:31:12,787 --> 00:31:17,768 With a friend of mine... 293 00:31:20,095 --> 00:31:22,880 of the training program professional, 294 00:31:22,897 --> 00:31:27,378 I went to a red light district and I lost my virginity. 295 00:31:32,307 --> 00:31:36,617 I kept going there for a while. 296 00:31:36,645 --> 00:31:40,124 When I was twenty, 297 00:31:42,083 --> 00:31:47,133 I fell in love with a woman who had polio. 298 00:31:47,756 --> 00:31:50,632 She became pregnant. 299 00:31:51,660 --> 00:31:57,244 But her family objected and we had to separate. 300 00:31:57,499 --> 00:32:00,876 I attempted suicide. 301 00:32:01,770 --> 00:32:05,648 They still didn't want for me to marry her. 302 00:32:06,274 --> 00:32:07,990 So... 303 00:32:08,510 --> 00:32:13,958 I had a big fight with my friend... 304 00:32:14,182 --> 00:32:16,508 by a woman who later became my wife. 305 00:32:16,518 --> 00:32:19,997 I acted out of my own ego. 306 00:32:20,822 --> 00:32:25,667 It was a great fight. 307 00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:28,343 I fought so hard... 308 00:32:30,131 --> 00:32:37,183 as any other man. 309 00:32:39,874 --> 00:32:43,626 I felt... 310 00:32:45,046 --> 00:32:47,797 very strong... 311 00:32:48,550 --> 00:32:55,704 by making her mine. 312 00:32:56,324 --> 00:32:59,041 I think it was... 313 00:33:00,161 --> 00:33:02,480 when I was fourteen. 314 00:33:03,064 --> 00:33:05,144 I had many brothers. 315 00:33:05,900 --> 00:33:08,549 They played a trick on me. 316 00:33:10,572 --> 00:33:13,221 From then on, 317 00:33:13,908 --> 00:33:16,557 I started to notice this feeling... 318 00:33:17,679 --> 00:33:23,900 that I wanted to sleep with a woman. 319 00:33:24,085 --> 00:33:30,238 There was a beautiful girl... 320 00:33:30,425 --> 00:33:32,403 who lived nearby. 321 00:33:32,594 --> 00:33:35,846 I really wanted to have her. 322 00:33:36,264 --> 00:33:39,444 But she... 323 00:33:40,602 --> 00:33:44,855 totally avoided me. 324 00:33:46,775 --> 00:33:51,055 When I was sixteen, 325 00:33:52,447 --> 00:33:55,426 I joined a gang and... 326 00:33:55,617 --> 00:33:58,937 I raped a girl. 327 00:33:59,621 --> 00:34:02,099 This was the first time... 328 00:34:02,457 --> 00:34:08,769 that I fulfilled my sexual desire. 329 00:34:09,497 --> 00:34:15,946 Later I realized that I didn't should have done that. 330 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:24,725 As I suffer from CP... 331 00:34:26,314 --> 00:34:31,102 It never occurred to me... 332 00:34:31,319 --> 00:34:35,970 that I can make my wish come true with a normal woman... 333 00:34:37,125 --> 00:34:39,910 That's all I can say. 334 00:34:43,932 --> 00:34:47,150 I have nothing more to say. 335 00:34:48,002 --> 00:34:49,479 Stop filming. 336 00:34:51,673 --> 00:34:55,482 I can't talk anymore. 337 00:34:56,444 --> 00:35:00,492 I really can't. 338 00:35:01,115 --> 00:35:07,735 I was 28 when I slept with a woman. 339 00:35:08,189 --> 00:35:11,600 It was much later than the others. 340 00:35:12,193 --> 00:35:17,743 She was a year older. 341 00:35:21,202 --> 00:35:25,489 When we try to do it, 342 00:35:25,974 --> 00:35:28,122 for some reason, 343 00:35:29,711 --> 00:35:33,361 I couldn't get an erection. 344 00:35:33,548 --> 00:35:39,360 Probably because... 345 00:35:41,923 --> 00:35:48,509 I suppressed it for a long time. 346 00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:57,049 We tried a few times. 347 00:36:00,241 --> 00:36:03,220 But it didn't work. 348 00:36:03,912 --> 00:36:07,562 I thought it wasn't a man. 349 00:36:09,584 --> 00:36:13,496 I thought I was powerless. 350 00:36:16,090 --> 00:36:19,069 I had no idea... 351 00:36:23,031 --> 00:36:26,818 how or where... 352 00:36:29,938 --> 00:36:32,689 put it on. 353 00:36:33,041 --> 00:36:36,589 We tried a few more times. 354 00:36:40,281 --> 00:36:43,931 I started to get the hang of it. 355 00:36:44,218 --> 00:36:47,436 It finally worked. 356 00:36:49,123 --> 00:36:54,605 I thought I was fine. 357 00:36:58,232 --> 00:37:03,043 I asked the woman if I was improving. 358 00:37:04,472 --> 00:37:06,381 She said... 359 00:37:10,078 --> 00:37:12,954 that I could do better. 360 00:37:14,882 --> 00:37:18,464 I was really disappointed. 361 00:37:20,655 --> 00:37:22,473 Really. 362 00:37:23,758 --> 00:37:25,633 For me... 363 00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:32,814 thinking about sex was taboo. 364 00:37:39,107 --> 00:37:42,985 Something I shouldn't think about. 365 00:37:45,513 --> 00:37:50,096 So I didn't dare. 366 00:37:52,353 --> 00:37:56,362 I was told I wasn't capable... 367 00:37:57,125 --> 00:37:59,842 and that I couldn't get married. 368 00:37:59,861 --> 00:38:05,015 I can be in love with someone, but no marriage. 369 00:38:05,133 --> 00:38:11,117 People think my body not capable... 370 00:38:11,139 --> 00:38:14,156 to have sex. 371 00:38:14,876 --> 00:38:17,855 That's what they think. 372 00:38:18,813 --> 00:38:21,689 It's the same thing with the uncle. 373 00:38:22,050 --> 00:38:25,160 When I fall in love, 374 00:38:25,386 --> 00:38:31,610 He tells me I can't. 375 00:38:32,627 --> 00:38:37,724 When I say I want to get married, 376 00:38:38,232 --> 00:38:43,144 He tells me I might be in love, but I can't get married. 377 00:38:43,171 --> 00:38:48,623 When I say I want children, 378 00:38:49,510 --> 00:38:57,779 he tells me that I can even get married, but I can't have children. 379 00:38:58,586 --> 00:39:01,262 What is he thinking? 380 00:39:01,756 --> 00:39:07,067 I suppose he's going to tell me... 381 00:39:07,695 --> 00:39:16,245 I can have one child, but not two. 382 00:39:21,943 --> 00:39:28,426 That's what healthy people think. 383 00:39:29,450 --> 00:39:34,204 We have to show them that... 384 00:39:34,288 --> 00:39:37,267 We can get married and have children. 385 00:39:38,459 --> 00:39:40,107 Even when, 386 00:39:41,062 --> 00:39:45,611 they will deny us... 387 00:39:48,970 --> 00:39:53,621 the next step. 388 00:39:54,475 --> 00:39:59,286 My uncle is not a bad person. 389 00:40:00,148 --> 00:40:04,401 He took very good care of me. 390 00:40:05,486 --> 00:40:09,136 I'm grateful. 391 00:40:09,757 --> 00:40:17,207 But your behavior typifies the way how healthy people see us. 392 00:40:17,231 --> 00:40:19,812 Alcohol is like a PC friend. 393 00:40:19,834 --> 00:40:24,645 Relaxes your muscles and makes speaking easier. 394 00:40:47,028 --> 00:40:56,278 Who's looking to the arid sky 395 00:41:00,809 --> 00:41:09,194 What impressed you most now it's a ghost town 396 00:41:10,051 --> 00:41:13,303 After love was lost 397 00:41:26,567 --> 00:41:37,519 All that's left is a song farewell 398 00:41:38,279 --> 00:41:46,929 As you fly through the galaxy 399 00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:31,511 I'm not saying we should give up on this film. 400 00:46:31,639 --> 00:46:33,355 I'm saying... 401 00:46:34,875 --> 00:46:36,853 that my family... 402 00:46:38,212 --> 00:46:43,865 have a problem. 403 00:46:44,885 --> 00:46:50,196 I shouldn't... 404 00:46:51,392 --> 00:46:56,544 walk on your knees. 405 00:46:58,899 --> 00:47:02,981 I really shouldn't. 406 00:47:03,671 --> 00:47:05,717 Regardless of what it is. 407 00:47:09,343 --> 00:47:15,599 If we keep filming in this way, 408 00:47:18,252 --> 00:47:21,231 my wife will divorce me. 409 00:47:22,756 --> 00:47:25,166 That's the situation. 410 00:47:25,926 --> 00:47:28,609 She said she's going to get a divorce from you? 411 00:47:29,530 --> 00:47:31,746 It wasn't just a threat. 412 00:47:35,436 --> 00:47:37,414 She understands... 413 00:47:38,372 --> 00:47:44,593 what it's like to walk on your knees. 414 00:47:47,448 --> 00:47:49,596 She knows... 415 00:47:50,451 --> 00:47:55,762 how miserable it is... 416 00:47:58,459 --> 00:48:00,937 walk on your knees. 417 00:48:04,965 --> 00:48:08,376 She feels unhappy... 418 00:48:09,570 --> 00:48:14,790 when you see me... 419 00:48:18,078 --> 00:48:21,523 walking on your knees. 420 00:48:55,315 --> 00:48:58,328 You are compromising. 421 00:48:58,686 --> 00:49:02,837 How can you resign yourself... 422 00:49:05,192 --> 00:49:07,841 so easily? 423 00:49:09,697 --> 00:49:13,609 You are the man of the family. 424 00:49:14,034 --> 00:49:19,846 It's you who creates the rules. 425 00:49:20,207 --> 00:49:24,819 There is no need to listen to her. 426 00:49:25,546 --> 00:49:31,399 Are you the head of the family or not? 427 00:49:37,057 --> 00:49:38,875 I was being patient. 428 00:49:44,064 --> 00:49:46,399 If she wants to divorce you so easily, 429 00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,652 you should never have married her. 430 00:49:49,837 --> 00:49:51,052 That's right. 431 00:49:51,071 --> 00:49:57,292 I'm sure they take real marriage and... 432 00:49:58,045 --> 00:50:02,298 it will not be easy to separate. 433 00:50:04,084 --> 00:50:09,338 We say these things to Yokota. 434 00:50:10,090 --> 00:50:14,207 But we are also convincing ourselves. 435 00:50:17,431 --> 00:50:22,776 We have to consider his place and ours. 436 00:50:28,442 --> 00:50:32,593 You want to abandon this film project. 437 00:50:33,447 --> 00:50:36,528 But we, from Relva Verde, 438 00:50:37,951 --> 00:50:40,532 talking about money again, 439 00:50:41,789 --> 00:50:47,100 we all put money in the film. 440 00:50:47,127 --> 00:50:50,606 But you want to give up for personal reasons. 441 00:50:52,132 --> 00:50:58,285 That's what I call... 442 00:50:58,639 --> 00:51:01,288 of cheating. 443 00:51:12,152 --> 00:51:13,561 You bastard. 444 00:51:19,993 --> 00:51:21,402 It's the truth. 445 00:51:21,995 --> 00:51:26,578 Go ahead and hit me. 446 00:51:29,670 --> 00:51:31,044 I tried. 447 00:51:31,672 --> 00:51:35,481 I've done my best so far. 448 00:51:38,612 --> 00:51:42,330 We know that. 449 00:51:46,186 --> 00:51:48,664 Can you leave? 450 00:51:50,123 --> 00:51:52,499 Yoshiko, shut up. 451 00:51:53,694 --> 00:51:55,012 Nobody... 452 00:51:56,029 --> 00:51:58,939 You can accuse me of cheating. 453 00:52:05,038 --> 00:52:07,516 Really, no one. 454 00:52:16,316 --> 00:52:20,364 How dare you do this in my house! 455 00:52:24,558 --> 00:52:26,035 This is too much. 456 00:52:26,727 --> 00:52:28,545 I'm calling someone. 457 00:52:34,735 --> 00:52:36,713 How dare you! 458 00:52:52,586 --> 00:52:54,131 How could you! 459 00:52:56,256 --> 00:52:58,404 Please calm down. 460 00:52:59,359 --> 00:53:01,473 This is wrong. 461 00:53:04,064 --> 00:53:05,905 I'll find someone else. 462 00:53:10,270 --> 00:53:13,522 How can you act like this? 463 00:53:17,277 --> 00:53:18,925 Don't hit her. 464 00:53:19,780 --> 00:53:26,429 I don't want Hara to see us like this. 465 00:53:30,791 --> 00:53:33,269 Let's talk about it. 466 00:53:33,293 --> 00:53:38,804 You went too far. 467 00:53:40,634 --> 00:53:43,383 Mom, you're bleeding. 468 00:53:50,577 --> 00:53:52,393 What do you want? 469 00:53:56,984 --> 00:53:59,064 You are not a woman. 470 00:54:00,420 --> 00:54:03,266 Let me ask you. 471 00:54:03,824 --> 00:54:06,402 I have been very patient. 472 00:54:08,495 --> 00:54:12,976 But what about your own family? 473 00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:16,081 I didn't want to bring it up. 474 00:54:17,170 --> 00:54:21,150 And you, Koyama? 475 00:54:21,775 --> 00:54:29,157 You want to break up a family to continue this film? 476 00:54:29,182 --> 00:54:33,492 What are we asking... 477 00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:37,830 Why should filming interfere... 478 00:54:37,858 --> 00:54:42,168 in your family life. 479 00:54:57,377 --> 00:54:59,195 Please go away. 480 00:55:00,881 --> 00:55:02,529 Please. 481 00:55:06,386 --> 00:55:08,034 Go away. 482 00:55:42,255 --> 00:55:45,734 Father, don't come in. 483 00:55:47,461 --> 00:55:49,837 Don't hit your father. 484 00:55:57,938 --> 00:56:01,087 Please call my sister. 485 00:56:45,652 --> 00:56:47,903 You're in the middle, stand up. 486 00:56:47,988 --> 00:56:51,740 Now in the other row. 487 00:56:58,765 --> 00:57:00,811 Please hurry. 488 00:57:04,938 --> 00:57:08,486 This way. Hurry up. 489 00:57:13,013 --> 00:57:15,628 We're running out of time. 490 00:57:26,193 --> 00:57:28,011 Come here. 491 00:57:33,200 --> 00:57:36,349 Don't worry about the camera. 492 00:57:40,540 --> 00:57:41,858 Yes, stay there. 493 00:57:42,976 --> 00:57:45,352 Come up here. 494 00:57:49,216 --> 00:57:50,834 Quick. 495 00:57:55,722 --> 00:57:57,040 Once again. 496 00:58:33,894 --> 00:58:35,712 That's it. 497 00:58:47,841 --> 00:58:50,422 An hour of free time. 498 00:58:56,549 --> 00:58:59,266 Before my son was born, 499 00:58:59,286 --> 00:59:03,869 we talked about what we wanted, a boy or a girl. 500 00:59:04,224 --> 00:59:07,100 I wanted a girl. 501 00:59:10,463 --> 00:59:13,282 I said I didn't really care. 502 00:59:13,466 --> 00:59:15,876 But I wanted a girl. 503 00:59:21,308 --> 00:59:26,426 So, I imagined... 504 00:59:28,481 --> 00:59:30,561 my daughter... 505 00:59:32,152 --> 00:59:35,301 growing. 506 00:59:38,425 --> 00:59:43,475 But I never... 507 00:59:47,100 --> 00:59:50,818 I imagined it... 508 00:59:53,940 --> 00:59:58,378 with PC. 509 01:00:00,847 --> 01:00:03,428 I just imagined her... 510 01:00:05,085 --> 01:00:06,994 with long hair... 511 01:00:08,955 --> 01:00:11,001 and a miniskirt. 512 01:00:11,024 --> 01:00:13,468 A beautiful ordinary girl. 513 01:00:14,694 --> 01:00:19,345 That's how I imagined her. 514 01:00:21,468 --> 01:00:27,519 I just couldn't help it. 515 01:00:29,642 --> 01:00:34,020 What I imagined... 516 01:00:34,047 --> 01:00:37,959 it was different from what we defend. 517 01:00:43,890 --> 01:00:47,039 Since I was a child, 518 01:00:48,061 --> 01:00:50,380 I was very shy. 519 01:00:53,733 --> 01:00:59,886 I was always afraid to notice me... 520 01:01:00,673 --> 01:01:03,390 on the streets. 521 01:01:10,250 --> 01:01:14,662 When I felt like I was being observed, 522 01:01:16,089 --> 01:01:19,068 my body was very tense. 523 01:01:20,427 --> 01:01:23,713 This makes walking difficult. 524 01:01:31,104 --> 01:01:33,082 I developed a phobia 525 01:01:37,377 --> 01:01:40,856 in relation to normal people. 526 01:01:44,717 --> 01:01:47,536 Everything we do, 527 01:01:48,121 --> 01:01:50,770 We have to have assistance. 528 01:01:52,025 --> 01:01:55,038 We can only be passive. 529 01:01:59,132 --> 01:02:02,077 People ask us questions 530 01:02:03,970 --> 01:02:06,789 and take photos of us. 531 01:02:12,412 --> 01:02:16,660 We hardly do anything by ourselves. 532 01:02:17,317 --> 01:02:19,836 I didn't want that. 533 01:02:24,591 --> 01:02:26,507 I thought about what... 534 01:02:29,662 --> 01:02:34,473 I could do. 535 01:02:36,002 --> 01:02:38,282 I wanted to reverse the roles. 536 01:02:46,446 --> 01:02:53,726 When I was with Hara, he always took photos of me. 537 01:02:55,522 --> 01:02:56,999 Damn it. 538 01:02:57,190 --> 01:02:59,168 Why can't I do this? 539 01:02:59,192 --> 01:03:07,006 Why can't I be the photographer? 540 01:03:07,634 --> 01:03:10,180 So I started taking pictures, by myself. 541 01:03:18,945 --> 01:03:22,827 The reasons why I take photos... 542 01:03:25,885 --> 01:03:30,536 stem from the fact... 543 01:03:32,792 --> 01:03:36,306 I have a PC. 544 01:03:36,896 --> 01:03:40,341 But I don't know how... 545 01:03:40,867 --> 01:03:44,244 this relationship has something to do with PC problems. 546 01:03:44,370 --> 01:03:47,915 I really don't care. 547 01:03:50,243 --> 01:03:54,223 This is about my feelings. 548 01:03:57,417 --> 01:04:00,896 I used to try to hide... 549 01:04:04,023 --> 01:04:09,073 on the train or bus. 550 01:04:09,596 --> 01:04:14,279 I didn't want to be seen by the public. 551 01:04:17,203 --> 01:04:20,352 The more I tried, 552 01:04:20,940 --> 01:04:25,352 the more I felt exposed. 553 01:04:26,546 --> 01:04:28,694 But having a camera... 554 01:04:30,284 --> 01:04:35,454 I may be exaggerating... 555 01:04:35,488 --> 01:04:37,077 changed my world. 556 01:04:37,991 --> 01:04:44,444 But being behind the camera It's not that easy. 557 01:04:46,633 --> 01:04:49,463 No matter how hard I try, 558 01:04:49,469 --> 01:04:53,449 It's not easy. 559 01:04:55,675 --> 01:05:00,208 It's much more difficult... 560 01:05:00,246 --> 01:05:05,534 than I expected it to be. 561 01:05:10,890 --> 01:05:15,885 The first time, I was so scared. 562 01:05:17,098 --> 01:05:25,245 My legs were shaking. My hands too. 563 01:05:25,938 --> 01:05:31,317 I didn't drink a drop of water since last night. 564 01:05:32,945 --> 01:05:38,996 I didn't want to have to go to the bathroom. 565 01:06:16,656 --> 01:06:24,209 That's what I always do when I know that I have to leave. 566 01:06:26,666 --> 01:06:27,896 How much do you weigh? 567 01:06:28,501 --> 01:06:30,376 Less than 40 kg. 568 01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:40,393 Just like that anorexic actress. 569 01:06:46,519 --> 01:06:48,360 Your glasses are all scratched. 570 01:06:49,422 --> 01:06:53,033 I drop them often. 571 01:06:58,464 --> 01:07:01,215 The lenses are really thick. 572 01:07:01,868 --> 01:07:03,846 Can't you see without them? 573 01:07:12,545 --> 01:07:15,194 Can you recognize me? 574 01:07:15,782 --> 01:07:17,259 Not at all. 575 01:07:57,824 --> 01:08:03,545 You say people don't understand what you say. 576 01:08:05,198 --> 01:08:06,641 Do you really think so? 577 01:08:07,767 --> 01:08:11,281 How could they? 578 01:08:13,172 --> 01:08:18,961 Then you will do this just to satisfy yourself? 579 01:08:19,512 --> 01:08:22,593 No, that's not it. 580 01:08:23,282 --> 01:08:31,438 I think they will understand something... 581 01:08:32,425 --> 01:08:36,940 even if they don't understand every word. 582 01:08:36,963 --> 01:08:38,281 Like this? 583 01:08:38,531 --> 01:08:41,908 They will wonder what am I doing. 584 01:08:43,135 --> 01:08:46,944 You don't want them to know that you are reciting your poems. 585 01:08:47,039 --> 01:08:51,872 Well, if they're really listening, 586 01:08:51,878 --> 01:08:53,856 they will understand. 587 01:08:54,480 --> 01:08:55,889 Do you think so? 588 01:08:57,116 --> 01:08:59,662 So, we don't need to signal? 589 01:09:03,289 --> 01:09:07,599 We don't need to send out a signal that says Reading a Poem? 590 01:09:11,163 --> 01:09:12,640 Is there no need? 591 01:09:17,236 --> 01:09:21,648 Reading of Yokota Hiroshi's poem... 592 01:09:24,677 --> 01:09:26,893 Date? 593 01:09:27,813 --> 01:09:30,029 Poem reading meeting? 594 01:09:30,082 --> 01:09:34,062 I don't think it's a meeting. 595 01:09:38,758 --> 01:09:42,806 Yokota Hiroshi reads poems. 596 01:09:48,334 --> 01:09:50,482 Shinjuku Station 597 01:13:58,017 --> 01:14:01,826 He will read poems. 598 01:14:03,189 --> 01:14:06,737 He is reading poems. 599 01:14:08,460 --> 01:14:13,544 Guys, he's a poet and will read your poems. 600 01:14:14,633 --> 01:14:18,681 Please everyone listen. 601 01:14:35,154 --> 01:14:38,474 "Poem" 602 01:14:42,228 --> 01:14:45,548 "Hiroshi" 603 01:15:13,092 --> 01:15:16,412 "Yokota" 604 01:15:21,667 --> 01:15:26,921 Please listen to my poem. 605 01:15:34,179 --> 01:15:38,933 It's called Legs. 606 01:15:45,791 --> 01:15:51,375 You who are there around me 607 01:15:56,135 --> 01:16:00,946 You have legs on which it relies 608 01:16:02,141 --> 01:16:03,789 You... 609 01:16:07,279 --> 01:16:14,468 You forbid me from walking 610 01:16:15,654 --> 01:16:19,304 That's how... 611 01:16:20,592 --> 01:16:23,639 you keep your legs. 612 01:16:30,436 --> 01:16:32,584 All the people around me... 613 01:16:34,173 --> 01:16:36,492 All the legs around me... 614 01:16:44,616 --> 01:16:46,161 For what reasons... 615 01:16:49,455 --> 01:16:52,172 you... 616 01:16:55,294 --> 01:17:00,446 stop me from walking? 617 01:17:00,933 --> 01:17:02,710 Who's in charge here? 618 01:17:06,271 --> 01:17:08,112 Who is this? 619 01:17:12,544 --> 01:17:15,193 Right. OK. All good. 620 01:17:15,381 --> 01:17:16,858 What are you doing? 621 01:17:16,882 --> 01:17:18,800 I'm recording. 622 01:17:18,984 --> 01:17:20,702 Recording what? 623 01:17:20,953 --> 01:17:23,033 You're bothering people. 624 01:17:24,556 --> 01:17:29,037 This is a horror show. Please stop. 625 01:18:20,182 --> 01:18:27,262 We set out to make this film... 626 01:18:29,288 --> 01:18:32,107 to show that we cannot do nothing. 627 01:18:32,825 --> 01:18:35,610 But I expected... 628 01:18:36,228 --> 01:18:38,274 being able to do something... 629 01:18:40,466 --> 01:18:44,048 to make a different type... 630 01:18:44,570 --> 01:18:49,551 of film. 631 01:18:50,342 --> 01:18:51,887 That was... 632 01:18:52,744 --> 01:18:54,960 What do I... 633 01:18:57,316 --> 01:19:03,401 what I thought. 634 01:19:08,927 --> 01:19:12,941 But as we pass... 635 01:19:14,500 --> 01:19:17,479 through the process of making the film, 636 01:19:20,272 --> 01:19:21,920 my hopes... 637 01:19:23,108 --> 01:19:28,920 were completely destroyed. 638 01:19:36,288 --> 01:19:38,004 How can I say? 639 01:19:39,525 --> 01:19:41,605 In the end... 640 01:19:46,265 --> 01:19:48,516 on many levels... 641 01:19:49,635 --> 01:19:51,851 I need... 642 01:19:52,471 --> 01:19:55,290 some form of protection. 643 01:19:56,575 --> 01:20:02,193 That's the only way... 644 01:20:03,715 --> 01:20:07,695 of me surviving. 645 01:20:09,555 --> 01:20:15,310 I could never be alone. 646 01:20:20,365 --> 01:20:22,650 In this sense, 647 01:20:26,004 --> 01:20:32,055 This realization made I feel... 648 01:20:32,911 --> 01:20:35,662 completely empty. 649 01:20:39,918 --> 01:20:42,328 To be honest, 650 01:20:45,023 --> 01:20:47,239 I'm not sure... 651 01:20:50,095 --> 01:20:53,244 of how I can move forward. 652 01:20:55,434 --> 01:21:02,213 That's how I feel. 653 01:22:29,861 --> 01:22:33,181 Produced by Shisso Production 654 01:22:33,198 --> 01:22:36,518 With the cooperation of A Relva Verde and 655 01:22:36,535 --> 01:22:39,855 of the Japan PC Association 656 01:22:41,373 --> 01:22:45,023 Direction and photography by Kazuo Hara 657 01:22:45,043 --> 01:22:48,693 Produced by Sachiko Kobayashi