1 00:00:02,375 --> 00:00:06,875 Your name is Gracie, which rhymes with dumb face-y. 2 00:00:08,166 --> 00:00:09,496 Stop teasing me. 3 00:00:09,583 --> 00:00:11,083 Stop teasing me. 4 00:00:11,166 --> 00:00:12,456 Stop copying me. 5 00:00:12,542 --> 00:00:13,922 Stop copying me. 6 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,210 I'm stupid. 7 00:00:15,291 --> 00:00:17,791 I'm stupid. Hey! 8 00:00:17,875 --> 00:00:23,075 Dada, Gracie made me call me stupid. 9 00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:24,496 Enough already! 10 00:00:24,583 --> 00:00:26,583 You kids have been at each other for days. 11 00:00:26,667 --> 00:00:28,287 Keep fighting and you're gonna get it. 12 00:00:28,375 --> 00:00:29,575 What is "it"? 13 00:00:29,667 --> 00:00:31,457 Is "it" ice cream? 14 00:00:31,542 --> 00:00:33,252 That would be delicious! 15 00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:35,463 Wait-- no! 16 00:00:37,125 --> 00:00:39,625 STAN: I just don't know how to discipline my puppies. 17 00:00:39,709 --> 00:00:41,079 I'm out of my depth. 18 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:44,036 Robert, how do you get your kids to be so well-behaved? 19 00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:46,875 No, Robert, I can't have my children stuffed 20 00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:49,579 with premium polyester toy filling. 21 00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:51,377 I'm not saying it's wrong, 22 00:00:51,458 --> 00:00:53,828 I'm just saying it's wrong for us. 23 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,880 ( alarm beeping ) 24 00:01:16,125 --> 00:01:18,325 Yes! A new day! 25 00:01:19,583 --> 00:01:21,503 Wow, you're excited today. 26 00:01:21,583 --> 00:01:22,753 Usually you're like 27 00:01:22,834 --> 00:01:24,634 "Ugh, can't I just sleep a little more? 28 00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:26,749 Aah! The sun's too bright!" 29 00:01:26,834 --> 00:01:29,254 Aah, the sun's too bright! 30 00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:31,417 No, wait. I'm the one who says that. 31 00:01:33,333 --> 00:01:35,713 Today is a big day, Stan. 32 00:01:35,792 --> 00:01:38,382 I got my learner's permit and I'm off to drive! 33 00:01:41,417 --> 00:01:43,207 Need pants to drive! 34 00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:48,670 Dad, come on! We've got to get going. 35 00:01:48,750 --> 00:01:50,540 I've got my learner's permit 36 00:01:50,625 --> 00:01:52,915 and I'm ready to dominate the road! 37 00:01:53,458 --> 00:01:55,538 By setting a good example for other drivers. 38 00:01:57,083 --> 00:01:59,043 I remember when I got my learner's permit. 39 00:01:59,125 --> 00:02:00,785 It was a Wednesday. 40 00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:04,003 I never said it was an interesting story. 41 00:02:06,750 --> 00:02:09,040 Being "permitted" to learn... 42 00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:12,630 that gives me an idea for a book about a dystopian future 43 00:02:12,709 --> 00:02:14,629 where only the privileged can study, 44 00:02:14,709 --> 00:02:18,749 until one courageous young girl brings education to all, 45 00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:21,754 including the ridiculously handsome boy who says, 46 00:02:21,834 --> 00:02:25,464 "You taught me how to read-- and to love." 47 00:02:25,542 --> 00:02:28,082 She better only teach him how to read. 48 00:02:28,166 --> 00:02:30,456 All right. Now let's hit the road. 49 00:02:31,458 --> 00:02:32,668 Yes! 50 00:02:32,834 --> 00:02:34,254 I'm going to be great at driving. 51 00:02:36,041 --> 00:02:37,961 I'm not great at driving. 52 00:02:38,834 --> 00:02:40,924 She ran over a garden gnome. 53 00:02:41,166 --> 00:02:43,626 I'm gonna go scrape gnome butt off the bumper. 54 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:49,830 Oh, my gosh, Avery, you're a gnomicidal maniac. 55 00:02:49,917 --> 00:02:52,417 Better call gnomeland security! 56 00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:55,380 We can rebuild him if we go to Gnome Depot. 57 00:02:56,208 --> 00:02:58,498 Unless you're going to make a Noam Chomsky joke, 58 00:02:58,583 --> 00:02:59,583 I don't want to hear any more. 59 00:02:59,667 --> 00:03:01,707 Avery, you just ran over Noam Chomsky! 60 00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:04,830 I don't know who that is, but I'm pretty sure it works. 61 00:03:10,125 --> 00:03:12,165 Hey, can I have some juice too, Mom? 62 00:03:12,709 --> 00:03:14,079 Sure. 63 00:03:14,166 --> 00:03:15,786 It's funny, I could've sworn you just called me "Mom" 64 00:03:15,875 --> 00:03:16,745 instead of "Mommy." 65 00:03:16,834 --> 00:03:17,674 I did, Mom. 66 00:03:19,375 --> 00:03:21,665 If I were drinking, that would have been a spit take. 67 00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:23,920 Like this. 68 00:03:24,333 --> 00:03:26,713 ( spits water ) 69 00:03:26,792 --> 00:03:29,082 Are you sure? "Mom"? 70 00:03:29,166 --> 00:03:31,626 I'm nine. I'm a near pre-tween. 71 00:03:31,709 --> 00:03:33,129 That's what my age group is called. 72 00:03:33,208 --> 00:03:35,288 You call you age group called pre-super oldies. 73 00:03:35,375 --> 00:03:37,745 Then comes super-oldies, then post-super-oldies. 74 00:03:37,834 --> 00:03:39,004 Also known as ghosts. 75 00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:41,750 You know what? 76 00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:44,537 If you're ready to call me "Mom," then that's great. 77 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,082 You are getting older. 78 00:03:46,166 --> 00:03:48,286 Old enough to help your mom clean up this juice. 79 00:03:48,375 --> 00:03:50,415 (laughing) Oh, Mom! 80 00:03:52,417 --> 00:03:54,167 No, no more skipping. 81 00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:55,830 You're a near pre-tween. 82 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,330 How do people do this? It feels so slow! 83 00:04:00,792 --> 00:04:02,962 Hah! "Mom"? 84 00:04:03,041 --> 00:04:05,171 I mean I'm happy Chloe's growing up, Stan, 85 00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:06,880 but it also makes me kind of sad. 86 00:04:06,959 --> 00:04:08,329 You know what makes me sad? 87 00:04:08,417 --> 00:04:09,997 My kids are always fighting. 88 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,793 Well, that and seasonal beverages. 89 00:04:11,875 --> 00:04:13,825 I want eggnog now! 90 00:04:15,125 --> 00:04:16,915 Wait, why am I talking to you about Chloe 91 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,750 when I've got a parenting expert in the other room? 92 00:04:20,458 --> 00:04:22,998 No, I am not a pre-super-oldie. 93 00:04:23,291 --> 00:04:24,291 I'm gonna skip. 94 00:04:25,125 --> 00:04:26,205 Oh, my knee. 95 00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:27,830 Ow! My hip. 96 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,630 Whoa! Something went soft. 97 00:04:31,625 --> 00:04:32,825 Parenting expert. 98 00:04:33,083 --> 00:04:34,963 Maybe Bennett can tell me how to get my kids 99 00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:36,541 to stop fighting. 100 00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:38,000 Excuse me, Ellen. 101 00:04:42,875 --> 00:04:44,375 So I need to talk to you about Chloe. 102 00:04:46,083 --> 00:04:48,383 ( phone ringing ) 103 00:04:48,458 --> 00:04:50,668 Sorry, hon, it's my office line. 104 00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:52,170 Wish I had a receptionist, 105 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,710 it's probably a patient calling. 106 00:04:53,792 --> 00:04:55,382 Okay, okay, I'll be back. 107 00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:01,540 (imitates female) Hello, Dr. Bennett James's office. 108 00:05:01,625 --> 00:05:03,125 How may I help you? 109 00:05:03,834 --> 00:05:05,884 Bennett has a receptionist? 110 00:05:06,041 --> 00:05:07,711 And with the voice of an angel. 111 00:05:09,291 --> 00:05:11,921 I'm a huge fan of Dr. James's books. 112 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:12,960 Can I speak with him? 113 00:05:13,041 --> 00:05:16,041 Dr. James, there's a fan calling for you. 114 00:05:16,125 --> 00:05:17,915 Thank you, Wanda. 115 00:05:17,959 --> 00:05:20,499 Though you'll never have a bigger fan than me. 116 00:05:21,083 --> 00:05:22,503 Oh, Wanda. 117 00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:26,786 Hello, this is Dr. James. Can I help you? 118 00:05:26,875 --> 00:05:29,825 Oh, yes. My name is, um... 119 00:05:30,083 --> 00:05:31,883 hmm--Chair. Chairy. Jerry. 120 00:05:31,959 --> 00:05:35,329 That's right, Jerry. Jerry Table. 121 00:05:35,417 --> 00:05:36,917 Sheesh. 122 00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:39,290 I need parenting advice. 123 00:05:39,375 --> 00:05:41,745 Well, Mr. Table, I'm always happy to help. 124 00:05:41,834 --> 00:05:43,754 Please, call me Chair. Chairy. Jerry. 125 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:47,543 The thing is, my kids fight all the time, 126 00:05:47,625 --> 00:05:49,125 and I just don't know what to do. 127 00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:51,878 Well, Jerry, it's best to let siblings 128 00:05:51,959 --> 00:05:54,209 develop their own tools for conflict resolution 129 00:05:54,291 --> 00:05:55,631 without parental intervention. 130 00:05:55,709 --> 00:05:57,169 That sounds really complicated. 131 00:05:57,250 --> 00:05:58,080 Just do nothing. 132 00:05:58,166 --> 00:05:59,916 You're approaching my wheelhouse. 133 00:06:01,208 --> 00:06:03,578 Listen I gotta get going. 134 00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:06,287 My wife is having a problem with my nine-year-old daughter. 135 00:06:06,375 --> 00:06:08,165 Oh, because she stopped calling her "Mommy"? 136 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:09,630 What makes you think that? 137 00:06:09,709 --> 00:06:12,169 Ah, well, ya see-- 138 00:06:12,250 --> 00:06:14,710 (imitates female) Mr. Table, your 11 o'clock is here. 139 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:15,752 Thanks, Wanda! 140 00:06:17,291 --> 00:06:19,211 Your receptionist is named Wanda too? 141 00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:20,171 ( hangs up ) 142 00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:21,630 Hello? 143 00:06:25,291 --> 00:06:27,631 Ellen, I just had the oddest conversation. 144 00:06:27,709 --> 00:06:29,959 I don't know what to do, Bennett. 145 00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:32,461 Chloe wants to call me "Mom," instead of "Mommy." 146 00:06:32,542 --> 00:06:35,172 What? Are you kidding? No. Of course not. 147 00:06:35,250 --> 00:06:37,790 Did I say "Good one, Ellen"? I make it very clear when I'm kidding. 148 00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:42,206 Jerry, the guy I was just talking to, was right. 149 00:06:42,291 --> 00:06:44,461 He said that Chloe stopped calling you "Mommy." 150 00:06:44,542 --> 00:06:46,832 -How did he know? -Maybe he's psychic. 151 00:06:47,208 --> 00:06:50,328 Did he say I would someday inherit Steincrotch Abbey? 152 00:06:50,417 --> 00:06:52,497 Because I'm not related to those Steincrotches, 153 00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:54,463 but I've had my heart set on a clerical error. 154 00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,713 Yeah, listen. 155 00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:02,500 Chloe is growing up, hon, she's changing. 156 00:07:02,834 --> 00:07:03,834 That's a good thing. 157 00:07:03,917 --> 00:07:07,037 I know being sad about Chloe growing up is silly. 158 00:07:07,125 --> 00:07:09,875 I mean, she couldn't be our cute little one forever. 159 00:07:09,959 --> 00:07:10,999 I just didn't want her to stop 160 00:07:11,083 --> 00:07:13,333 being our cute little one so soon. 161 00:07:13,417 --> 00:07:14,877 I guess that time's over. 162 00:07:16,917 --> 00:07:19,827 So, you see that I have ice packs all over me. 163 00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:21,287 You're not going to say anything about this? 164 00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:24,075 Because it has been a harrowing morning, Bennett. 165 00:07:24,250 --> 00:07:26,040 Apparently, I am a pre-super-oldie. 166 00:07:26,417 --> 00:07:27,827 Then I skipped and something went soft 167 00:07:27,917 --> 00:07:28,997 and now I have a hot spot on my leg 168 00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:30,383 that I think is cooking these peas! 169 00:07:35,458 --> 00:07:37,378 Now check your rear-view mirror. 170 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,420 Okay, now let's turn up there 171 00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:42,040 and we'll gnome around the neighborhood. 172 00:07:42,834 --> 00:07:44,964 What? Did you say "gnome"? 173 00:07:45,542 --> 00:07:49,382 Aaaaah! Who are you?! 174 00:07:49,458 --> 00:07:51,828 I'm the gnome you ran over and destroyed. 175 00:07:51,917 --> 00:07:53,747 One day from retirement. 176 00:07:54,792 --> 00:07:57,252 I'm sorry, I didn't mean it! 177 00:07:57,333 --> 00:07:59,633 Then why are you mowing down the rest of my family? 178 00:07:59,709 --> 00:08:03,169 Daffodil! Rosemary! Cranky! Sloppy! Doofus! 179 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,130 Didn't know that guy. 180 00:08:05,458 --> 00:08:09,498 Twinkles! Itchy! Lefty! Bugsy! Two Toes! 181 00:08:09,583 --> 00:08:11,713 Will you please hit the brakes?! 182 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:12,712 ( tires screeching ) 183 00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,632 ( screaming ) 184 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:22,165 Tyler, that is not funny! 185 00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:24,790 Which just goes to show you, comedy is subjective. 186 00:08:33,875 --> 00:08:35,165 Aah! Don't run over me! 187 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,290 Don't worry, Tyler. I'm not driving. 188 00:08:40,375 --> 00:08:41,205 I know. 189 00:08:41,291 --> 00:08:43,381 If you were driving, you'd be on the front lawn. 190 00:08:44,166 --> 00:08:45,786 If you were driving, there'd be mangled 191 00:08:45,875 --> 00:08:47,495 gnome bodies in your path. 192 00:08:47,667 --> 00:08:49,497 If you were driving-- Tyler! 193 00:08:49,583 --> 00:08:51,503 No, no, I have got one more. If you were driving-- dang it! 194 00:08:51,625 --> 00:08:53,625 You made me forget! I hope you're happy! 195 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:57,130 I'm never driving again. 196 00:08:57,208 --> 00:08:59,918 My book is now about a courageous young girl 197 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,750 who takes public transportation 198 00:09:01,834 --> 00:09:04,254 with the ridiculously handsome boy who says, 199 00:09:04,709 --> 00:09:07,879 "You taught me how to ride the bus-- and to love." 200 00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:11,380 This isn't all because of the gnome, is it? 201 00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:12,998 And me putting the gnome in your bed? 202 00:09:13,166 --> 00:09:14,076 And me changing the wallpaper 203 00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:15,456 on your phone to pictures of gnomes? 204 00:09:15,542 --> 00:09:16,582 What? 205 00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:18,288 Tyler! 206 00:09:19,375 --> 00:09:21,785 Look, I'm sorry if I took the teasing too far. 207 00:09:21,875 --> 00:09:24,415 But if you're freaked out about driving, let me help you. 208 00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:28,330 You helped me when I wanted to graduate early, and it meant so much, 209 00:09:28,458 --> 00:09:29,958 and then you taught me how to play the spoons. 210 00:09:30,041 --> 00:09:32,001 I didn't teach you how to play the spoons. 211 00:09:32,083 --> 00:09:33,673 Then how did I learn this? 212 00:09:34,959 --> 00:09:37,749 ( rhythmic clacking ) 213 00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:43,826 Look I mean it, Avery. 214 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,249 I'm your big brother. 215 00:09:46,375 --> 00:09:49,325 I may not always act like it, but I do care about you. 216 00:09:49,417 --> 00:09:51,747 So what do you say? 217 00:09:51,917 --> 00:09:53,207 Let me help you with your driving. 218 00:09:54,041 --> 00:09:56,081 Well, that's very sweet, Tyler. 219 00:09:56,208 --> 00:09:57,998 Okay. Let's give it a try. 220 00:09:58,083 --> 00:09:59,253 Awesome. 221 00:10:01,041 --> 00:10:02,461 Seriously, who taught me this? 222 00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:09,920 Ehhhh... 223 00:10:10,083 --> 00:10:11,753 Freddy, stop! 224 00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:13,044 Stop what? 225 00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:16,625 This? Ehhh... 226 00:10:16,792 --> 00:10:18,252 Dada, make him stop! 227 00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:22,213 Freddy, would you please-- No, no. 228 00:10:22,625 --> 00:10:25,035 It's up to you guys to develop your own tools 229 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,955 for conflict resolution, like Bennett said. 230 00:10:28,041 --> 00:10:31,001 -So work it out. -Okay, Dada. 231 00:10:31,083 --> 00:10:33,173 Let's see how you like it. 232 00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:37,710 Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi- yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi... 233 00:10:37,792 --> 00:10:40,172 I think they're working it out. 234 00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:44,460 Ehhh... Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi... 235 00:10:44,542 --> 00:10:47,382 Stop it! Just stop it! 236 00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:51,130 What's wrong with him? 237 00:10:51,291 --> 00:10:53,541 I think he has a bad case of 238 00:10:53,625 --> 00:10:57,205 ehhhh... Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi... 239 00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:01,788 Hey, Chloe. Never have puppies. 240 00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:04,503 So what are you doing? 241 00:11:04,959 --> 00:11:07,579 I heard my mom say I wasn't the little cute one anymore. 242 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,712 So I'm watching home movies to figure out 243 00:11:09,792 --> 00:11:10,752 how to get my cute back. 244 00:11:10,834 --> 00:11:13,004 I don't know what Ellen's talking about. 245 00:11:13,083 --> 00:11:16,383 I'm no expert on people cute, but your hair is poodle-y 246 00:11:16,458 --> 00:11:18,878 and you always have food on your fingers. 247 00:11:18,959 --> 00:11:21,459 I mean, you got a lot going for you, Chloe. 248 00:11:24,208 --> 00:11:25,788 Look at that technique. 249 00:11:25,917 --> 00:11:28,497 Notice my hopeful, innocent expression. 250 00:11:28,792 --> 00:11:31,292 That's all natural. You can't teach that. 251 00:11:32,041 --> 00:11:34,081 So what do you think, Stan? 252 00:11:34,166 --> 00:11:36,786 If I put on those PJs and find a baby pig 253 00:11:36,875 --> 00:11:40,285 and get in that little car, that will be really, really... 254 00:11:40,792 --> 00:11:41,922 sad. 255 00:11:43,166 --> 00:11:44,996 Or it could be adorable. 256 00:11:45,083 --> 00:11:47,003 It's hard to know until we see it. 257 00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:50,294 Yeah, that's pretty sad. 258 00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,167 Should have trusted your gut, Chloe. 259 00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:54,960 If I'm not the cute one anymore, 260 00:11:55,041 --> 00:11:56,631 I'm gonna have to find something else. 261 00:11:56,709 --> 00:11:58,709 Wait a minute. That's not even a pig. 262 00:11:58,792 --> 00:12:00,082 It's a hairless guinea pig. 263 00:12:00,166 --> 00:12:01,416 I couldn't find a real pig. 264 00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:03,327 Well, can you put a coat on it or something? 265 00:12:03,417 --> 00:12:05,457 I'm feeling kind of uncomfortable. 266 00:12:08,917 --> 00:12:12,247 Okay, I've driven you to this empty lot. There's no one around. 267 00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:14,673 You can't hit anyone or do any damage. 268 00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:16,790 You need a licensed driver twenty-five years or older 269 00:12:16,875 --> 00:12:18,285 in the car, and we got Mr. Trummer here, 270 00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:19,575 so we're all set to go. 271 00:12:19,667 --> 00:12:21,827 I believe I was promised soup. 272 00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:29,130 Oh! This tastes weak. 273 00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,330 Like your entire generation. 274 00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:34,579 All right, let's get going. 275 00:12:34,667 --> 00:12:35,627 Start the car. 276 00:12:35,709 --> 00:12:36,919 Okay. 277 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,790 I can do this. Easy day. 278 00:12:41,709 --> 00:12:44,539 I can't. I'm sorry. I can't learn this way. 279 00:12:44,625 --> 00:12:47,455 I'm used to learning things by myself, in my room. 280 00:12:47,542 --> 00:12:49,082 So just close your eyes, 281 00:12:49,166 --> 00:12:50,746 pretend you're in your room, and drive. 282 00:12:50,834 --> 00:12:54,004 This is why we have someone over twenty-five in the car. 283 00:12:54,166 --> 00:12:56,286 Don't drive with your eyes closed. 284 00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:59,665 Come on, Avery, why can't you just do this? 285 00:13:00,291 --> 00:13:02,211 (mumbles) I'm afraid to fail in front of other people. 286 00:13:02,291 --> 00:13:03,331 What? 287 00:13:03,417 --> 00:13:05,207 I'm afraid to fail in front of other people. 288 00:13:05,291 --> 00:13:06,131 What? 289 00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:07,878 She's afraid to fail in front of other people! 290 00:13:07,959 --> 00:13:09,539 Here, you want to borrow this? 291 00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:13,535 I was afraid to fail in front of Mom and Dad 292 00:13:13,625 --> 00:13:14,995 because their opinions matter, 293 00:13:15,083 --> 00:13:17,043 so I thought it'd be easier with you two. 294 00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:19,881 None taken. 295 00:13:21,291 --> 00:13:24,631 I just can't do it. I give up. 296 00:13:25,291 --> 00:13:27,541 If you woulda had that kind of attitude, Tyler, 297 00:13:27,625 --> 00:13:29,455 you never would have learned how to play the spoons. 298 00:13:29,792 --> 00:13:31,332 You're the one! 299 00:13:33,709 --> 00:13:36,129 ( rhythmic clacking ) 300 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,500 CHLOE: So I've been working out a little. 301 00:13:45,709 --> 00:13:46,829 Aah! 302 00:13:48,875 --> 00:13:49,915 What are you wearing? 303 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,580 M'muscles. 304 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:56,538 I'm the strong one in the family. 305 00:13:56,625 --> 00:13:57,535 Check it out. 306 00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:03,038 Aarrgh! 307 00:14:05,208 --> 00:14:06,288 Huh! 308 00:14:06,458 --> 00:14:08,248 Chloe honey, I have to make dinner. 309 00:14:08,458 --> 00:14:10,998 Why don't you go play dress-up in the other room, okay? 310 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:12,923 Take this fake rock with you. 311 00:14:13,166 --> 00:14:15,626 Whoa! It still has heft! My back went out. 312 00:14:17,375 --> 00:14:19,325 Do you even lift, brah? 313 00:14:24,709 --> 00:14:26,579 Chloe, that's a fun costume. 314 00:14:26,667 --> 00:14:29,667 It's not a costume. It's who I want to be. 315 00:14:29,834 --> 00:14:32,634 Why won't anyone take me seriously?! 316 00:14:33,792 --> 00:14:37,792 Oh, man, I really shredded my quads this morning. 317 00:14:38,750 --> 00:14:42,000 Ohhh! Ah! Ohh! 318 00:14:42,083 --> 00:14:43,583 Ahaha! 319 00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:46,207 Ohh! Oww! 320 00:14:46,291 --> 00:14:48,581 Ow! Ow!!! 321 00:14:48,917 --> 00:14:50,497 Ow ow ow! 322 00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:52,423 That was weird. 323 00:14:54,291 --> 00:14:56,791 I wonder what Mr. Table would have to say about that. 324 00:14:56,875 --> 00:15:00,375 So do I, Bennett. So do I. 325 00:15:00,458 --> 00:15:02,498 ( phone ringing ) 326 00:15:04,333 --> 00:15:05,583 (imitating female) Dr. Bennett James's office. 327 00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:06,917 How may I help you? 328 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,330 (imitating female) Oh hi, this is Wanda 329 00:15:09,417 --> 00:15:11,627 in Jerry Table's office 330 00:15:11,709 --> 00:15:12,959 calling for Dr. James. 331 00:15:13,041 --> 00:15:16,831 Oh, Wanda, hi! This is Wanda! 332 00:15:18,166 --> 00:15:19,876 I've heard so much about you. 333 00:15:19,959 --> 00:15:21,499 Me too, doll. 334 00:15:21,583 --> 00:15:23,503 We'll have to do lunch sometime. 335 00:15:23,583 --> 00:15:26,003 Yes, that would be delightful! 336 00:15:29,583 --> 00:15:31,003 Dr. James? This is Jerry. 337 00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:32,633 Hi, Jerry. 338 00:15:32,709 --> 00:15:34,789 I'm--I'm so glad you called. 339 00:15:34,875 --> 00:15:37,285 Listen, How did you know that my daughter 340 00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:39,455 was going to stop calling my wife "Mommy"? 341 00:15:39,542 --> 00:15:41,962 There's only one possible explanation. 342 00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:43,831 -I'm your dog. -What? 343 00:15:43,917 --> 00:15:45,577 No, I'm just kidding. 344 00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:47,207 I'm a regular insightful stranger. 345 00:15:47,959 --> 00:15:51,209 Don't tell me. Now your daughter's dressing up as a strongwoman 346 00:15:51,291 --> 00:15:53,461 and complaining that no one is taking her seriously. 347 00:15:53,542 --> 00:15:55,132 How did you know that? 348 00:15:55,208 --> 00:15:57,248 Is my wife going to inherit Steincrotch Abbey 349 00:15:57,333 --> 00:15:58,253 through a clerical error? 350 00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:01,793 Well, I can't really say, Lord Steincrotch. 351 00:16:03,667 --> 00:16:04,957 Look, your daughter may be upset 352 00:16:05,041 --> 00:16:07,671 because people think she isn't the little cute one anymore 353 00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:10,210 and she doesn't know what makes her special in the family. 354 00:16:10,291 --> 00:16:12,211 That's really helpful. 355 00:16:12,291 --> 00:16:15,541 If you are ever looking to be a gentleman's valet, 356 00:16:15,625 --> 00:16:19,665 there will always be a position for you at Steincrotch Abbey. 357 00:16:20,417 --> 00:16:22,037 Anyway, why were you calling? 358 00:16:23,208 --> 00:16:26,288 Well, letting my kids work out their conflicts themselves 359 00:16:26,375 --> 00:16:27,915 made the fighting even worse. 360 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,420 Your advice was terrible. 361 00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:32,420 -Would you like some more? -Oh, sure! 362 00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:34,877 Well, what finally brought my kids together 363 00:16:34,959 --> 00:16:36,539 was when we got them a dog. 364 00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:39,995 If your kids are responsible enough, I recommend it. 365 00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:42,213 I gotta tell you, Stan is the best thing 366 00:16:42,291 --> 00:16:43,541 that ever happened to this family. 367 00:16:43,625 --> 00:16:46,205 Hearing you say that means so much to me. 368 00:16:46,291 --> 00:16:49,831 Tonight I am gonna curl up and sleep at your feet... 369 00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:54,076 is what I would say if I were your gentleman's valet. 370 00:16:54,166 --> 00:16:56,036 -What? -Gotta go. 371 00:17:02,417 --> 00:17:04,287 What is all this? 372 00:17:04,375 --> 00:17:05,955 You don't want to drive because you don't want to fail 373 00:17:06,041 --> 00:17:07,211 in front of other people. 374 00:17:07,291 --> 00:17:08,921 So I've built you... 375 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,380 (dramatic) the Gauntlet of Failure! 376 00:17:11,458 --> 00:17:12,628 The gauntlet of failure? 377 00:17:12,709 --> 00:17:15,539 No, the Gauntlet of Failure! 378 00:17:16,208 --> 00:17:17,788 I'm going to make you comfortable with failing 379 00:17:17,875 --> 00:17:20,035 in front of other people. Come on in, everybody. 380 00:17:20,125 --> 00:17:22,075 That's right, get your soup and take a seat. 381 00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:26,670 Ooh, it's hot. Smells like celery. 382 00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:28,420 Like Dorothy. 383 00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:34,958 Okay, Avery, let's start with this basketball hoop. 384 00:17:36,083 --> 00:17:37,133 Dunk the ball. 385 00:17:37,208 --> 00:17:40,248 You think I'm going to fail, but I don't fail. 386 00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:41,583 I'm gonna do this, Tyler. 387 00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:45,083 I am gonna dunk this basketball. 388 00:18:08,125 --> 00:18:11,125 Oh, man, I just blew it in front of all these people. 389 00:18:11,208 --> 00:18:12,918 This is so embarrassing. 390 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,170 Okay, it's not the end of the world. 391 00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:16,580 You failed in front of people. 392 00:18:16,875 --> 00:18:17,915 Big deal. 393 00:18:18,083 --> 00:18:19,793 We are all focused on our soup. 394 00:18:21,959 --> 00:18:24,039 Now fail at the rest of these things. 395 00:18:25,125 --> 00:18:28,035 Okay. I guess I can give it a try. 396 00:18:53,291 --> 00:18:55,831 ( cheering ) 397 00:18:58,083 --> 00:19:00,423 Yes! I did it! 398 00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:02,880 Failing in front of people isn't so bad. 399 00:19:02,959 --> 00:19:05,289 Congratulations! You're a failure! 400 00:19:05,375 --> 00:19:07,665 Now you're ready to drive in the Greater Los Angeles area. 401 00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:11,330 And you also helped out Jimbo here. 402 00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:13,417 He was afraid of success. 403 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:27,501 Chloe, what are you doing? 404 00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:28,833 I'm the cook in the family. 405 00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:30,327 But I'm the cook in the family. 406 00:19:30,417 --> 00:19:31,997 Hear her out, hon. 407 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:37,000 I just made my special chicken stuffed with Chinese food. 408 00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:39,923 The secret ingredient is Chinese food. 409 00:19:41,458 --> 00:19:43,498 I think Chloe is acting like this 410 00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:44,883 because she overheard you say 411 00:19:44,959 --> 00:19:47,419 that she's not your little cute one anymore. 412 00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,920 She's trying to figure out what makes her special in the family. 413 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,250 No, I didn't mean that. I've got to talk to her. 414 00:19:53,417 --> 00:19:55,077 Although, she could be the strong one. 415 00:19:55,166 --> 00:19:56,826 That rock was not light, Bennett. 416 00:19:56,917 --> 00:19:57,747 Jacked me up. 417 00:19:58,458 --> 00:19:59,578 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 418 00:20:00,250 --> 00:20:02,210 Why is that colander moving? 419 00:20:02,291 --> 00:20:04,711 That's my line cook, Francois. 420 00:20:05,959 --> 00:20:08,459 Aaah! Put a coat on it! 421 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,125 I'm gonna let you two talk. 422 00:20:12,208 --> 00:20:15,458 Chloe, why don't I take care of that for you? 423 00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:19,083 It's like a skin potato! 424 00:20:20,917 --> 00:20:22,457 Sweetie, come here. 425 00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:25,920 Did you overhear me say 426 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,790 you weren't the little cute one anymore? 427 00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:29,920 I guess so. 428 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,130 Oh, honey, it's okay that you're growing up. 429 00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:35,378 I don't want you to feel badly about that. 430 00:20:35,458 --> 00:20:37,458 But it made you sad when I called you "Mom." 431 00:20:38,917 --> 00:20:41,627 I'm sorry. I didn't handle that very well. 432 00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:43,786 But I think I know why. 433 00:20:44,709 --> 00:20:47,919 When your dad and I first got together and I first met you, 434 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,460 I'd already missed out on years of being your mommy, 435 00:20:50,542 --> 00:20:52,882 and I didn't want that to go away yet. 436 00:20:52,959 --> 00:20:55,579 But I'm really glad I get to be your Mom now. 437 00:20:55,667 --> 00:20:57,707 -You are? -Oh, yeah, honey. 438 00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:02,331 You're such a wonderful girl. That'll always make you special in this family. 439 00:21:02,417 --> 00:21:04,207 I love you so much. 440 00:21:04,291 --> 00:21:06,501 Love you, too, Mom. 441 00:21:08,250 --> 00:21:11,750 Here, try my special gummy worm lasagna. 442 00:21:11,834 --> 00:21:15,004 Oh. What made you think to combine those ingredients? 443 00:21:15,083 --> 00:21:16,923 Oh, they're just things I found around the kitchen. 444 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,630 Lasagna, gum, and worms. 445 00:21:20,709 --> 00:21:22,709 If I had taken a bite, that would have been a spit take. 446 00:21:22,792 --> 00:21:23,752 Like this. 447 00:21:23,834 --> 00:21:25,004 ( spits out food ) 448 00:21:26,125 --> 00:21:27,535 Why did I do that? 449 00:21:29,583 --> 00:21:32,003 I'll get Francois to help me clean this up. 450 00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:36,500 Francois, you got time to lean, you got time to clean! 451 00:21:38,834 --> 00:21:40,504 Yes, I did it! 452 00:21:40,583 --> 00:21:43,083 I went driving with Tyler and Mr. Trummer 453 00:21:43,166 --> 00:21:45,326 and I didn't mind failing in front of people. 454 00:21:45,417 --> 00:21:47,327 Not when I went up on that curb, 455 00:21:47,417 --> 00:21:49,287 not when I drove through that flower bed. 456 00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:51,375 Not even when I hit that mailbox. 457 00:21:51,458 --> 00:21:53,248 Our mailbox. We need a new mailbox. 458 00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:55,670 Proud of you, sweetie. 459 00:21:55,750 --> 00:21:58,380 I am totally putting this in her bed tonight. 460 00:21:59,750 --> 00:22:01,330 Proud of you, sweetie. 461 00:22:02,959 --> 00:22:06,329 STAN: So I took Bennett's advice and got my pups a pet 462 00:22:06,417 --> 00:22:07,577 to bring them together. 463 00:22:07,750 --> 00:22:09,330 I couldn't trust them to take care 464 00:22:09,417 --> 00:22:10,787 of a real hairless guinea pig, 465 00:22:10,875 --> 00:22:13,035 so I got them the next best thing. 466 00:22:19,208 --> 00:22:21,958 Aghh! It's weird-looking! 467 00:22:22,041 --> 00:22:24,421 Ohh! Put a coat on it! 468 00:22:26,333 --> 00:22:27,923 Why did I agree to do this?