1
00:00:02,667 --> 00:00:04,917
Hey, Stan. Did you have fun
hanging out with the wife?

2
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,540
How was your two-month anniversary dinner?

3
00:00:06,625 --> 00:00:09,625
We went to our favorite dumpster,
but it's going downhill.

4
00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:13,249
Cats are starting to show up.
Next, it'll be hipsters.

5
00:00:15,208 --> 00:00:17,498
Plus, Princess has been
acting strange lately

6
00:00:17,583 --> 00:00:19,043
and I can't figure out why.

7
00:00:19,125 --> 00:00:21,625
If you're trying
to understand girls, just stop.

8
00:00:21,709 --> 00:00:24,209
They're irrational,
weird, and totally nuts.

9
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:25,711
-No, we're not.
-Whoa!

10
00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:27,922
Dial it back, psycho.

11
00:00:29,375 --> 00:00:31,325
Mason always acts strange.

12
00:00:31,417 --> 00:00:33,537
Today he pasted
all his school books together

13
00:00:33,625 --> 00:00:35,205
and called it "big learnin'."

14
00:00:35,291 --> 00:00:36,541
Then he pasted his hands together

15
00:00:36,625 --> 00:00:37,575
and called the nurse.

16
00:00:39,875 --> 00:00:42,535
Stan, I know
what's wrong with Princess.

17
00:00:44,166 --> 00:00:46,536
You know, Karl, I almost wore that,

18
00:00:46,709 --> 00:00:48,079
then I realized I wasn't being dropped

19
00:00:48,166 --> 00:00:49,996
behind enemy lines today.

20
00:00:50,959 --> 00:00:51,999
I need to be invisible

21
00:00:52,083 --> 00:00:53,833
when I do my daily sweeps
of the neighborhood

22
00:00:53,917 --> 00:00:55,667
with my parabolic microphone.

23
00:00:55,750 --> 00:00:57,210
-Keeping vigil.
-Snooping.

24
00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:58,421
Keeping vigil.

25
00:00:59,667 --> 00:01:01,577
And I heard Heather say,

26
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:04,457
"Princess is going to have puppies."

27
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:05,832
( gasps )

28
00:01:05,917 --> 00:01:07,287
-What?
-Oh, my gosh.

29
00:01:07,375 --> 00:01:10,205
This is the most amazing thing
I've ever heard.

30
00:01:10,291 --> 00:01:11,751
I'm gonna be a father.

31
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:14,003
Thank you, talking plant.

32
00:01:14,083 --> 00:01:15,173
Stan, it's Karl.

33
00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:17,210
Oh, I have a friend named Karl.

34
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,830
I'm really excited to be a father.

35
00:01:21,417 --> 00:01:22,997
But it's actually not my first time

36
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,543
in a paternal role.

37
00:01:24,625 --> 00:01:26,915
I once raised a family of baby geese.

38
00:01:27,041 --> 00:01:28,751
Good thing I had that hang glider.

39
00:01:31,667 --> 00:01:32,877
( theme music playing )

40
00:01:48,792 --> 00:01:51,002
Where have you been?
We're supposed to go dress shopping.

41
00:01:51,083 --> 00:01:53,133
I'm starting to think you don't want
to go dress shopping with me.

42
00:01:53,208 --> 00:01:54,578
Well, finish thinking that.

43
00:01:55,875 --> 00:01:57,875
You used to love doing that with me.

44
00:01:57,959 --> 00:02:00,169
I pretended to like a lot of things
when we were dating.

45
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:01,750
Like farmers markets

46
00:02:01,834 --> 00:02:03,714
and your Uncle Alan's knock-knock jokes.

47
00:02:03,792 --> 00:02:05,082
Knock-knock. Who's there?

48
00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:06,576
Us, unfortunately.

49
00:02:08,417 --> 00:02:10,457
You still find
my insecurity charming, right?

50
00:02:12,458 --> 00:02:14,498
Look, I bought a desk for Chloe's room.

51
00:02:15,667 --> 00:02:17,287
If we don't assemble it,

52
00:02:17,375 --> 00:02:19,245
then we're just gonna have
this huge box sitting around.

53
00:02:19,333 --> 00:02:21,423
And I know how much you hate huge boxes.

54
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,380
True. My sister used to hide in them,

55
00:02:23,458 --> 00:02:26,038
and then leap out at me
and yell "You're unpopular!"

56
00:02:27,125 --> 00:02:29,325
Okay, okay, I guess
we can build the desk.

57
00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:30,247
Great. Thanks, honey.

58
00:02:31,583 --> 00:02:32,673
People like me!

59
00:02:32,750 --> 00:02:34,630
Sorry, reflex. Just a reflex.

60
00:02:40,291 --> 00:02:42,921
Avery, I'm so excited
about being a father,

61
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,250
I'm experiencing emotions
I don't even know the names of.

62
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,423
So I made some up, the Goofy Grinnies.

63
00:02:51,959 --> 00:02:53,289
The Happy Happies.

64
00:02:54,333 --> 00:02:55,753
And the Mega-Barks.

65
00:02:55,834 --> 00:02:57,294
Where you bark a lot. I get it.

66
00:02:57,375 --> 00:03:00,325
No, I strip the bark
from giant sequoia trees. See?

67
00:03:03,125 --> 00:03:04,955
Trying to figure out
how you got that bark

68
00:03:05,041 --> 00:03:07,421
giving me the Totes Confusies.

69
00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:09,080
I don't have a gesture for it yet,

70
00:03:09,166 --> 00:03:10,286
but how about...

71
00:03:13,959 --> 00:03:16,629
I just can't wait to be
there by Princess's side

72
00:03:16,709 --> 00:03:18,209
when the puppies are born.

73
00:03:18,291 --> 00:03:21,131
It's gonna be the happiest day of my life.

74
00:03:21,417 --> 00:03:24,077
I'm not letting your dog
anywhere near my Princess

75
00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:25,706
for the birth of her puppies.

76
00:03:25,792 --> 00:03:28,752
No, no, this is horrible.

77
00:03:33,875 --> 00:03:36,575
Stan needs to be there
for the birth of his puppies.

78
00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:37,827
You can't do this to him.

79
00:03:37,917 --> 00:03:39,417
I can do whatever I want.

80
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:41,880
Ever since Daddy made me
vice president of his company

81
00:03:41,959 --> 00:03:43,209
for tax purposes.

82
00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,252
What is wrong with you?

83
00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:49,633
Were you summoned to this realm
by some sort of incantation?

84
00:03:49,709 --> 00:03:53,959
What is wrong with you? Were you summoned
to this realm by some sort of incantation?

85
00:03:54,041 --> 00:03:57,041
Avery's never gonna believe
that I came up with that first.

86
00:03:58,458 --> 00:04:01,038
Here's the deal. We're taking Princess
to have her puppies

87
00:04:01,125 --> 00:04:02,875
at Chez Chateau Maison,

88
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,040
the most luxurious dog spa ever.

89
00:04:05,333 --> 00:04:07,633
None of you are getting anywhere near her.

90
00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:10,995
Don't be evil, Heather.

91
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:14,325
Please let Stan be there to see
his puppies being born.

92
00:04:14,792 --> 00:04:17,542
And please don't make
a coat out of them afterwards.

93
00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:21,457
Breaking news,
I don't care what you want.

94
00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:24,627
I'm thinking about becoming
a famous TV newsperson.

95
00:04:24,792 --> 00:04:26,172
And now to the weather.

96
00:04:26,458 --> 00:04:27,828
Ugh, it's hot.

97
00:04:30,333 --> 00:04:32,793
All right, we need a plan to get Stan in

98
00:04:32,875 --> 00:04:34,075
for the birth of his puppies.

99
00:04:34,166 --> 00:04:36,126
The place Heather will be taking Princess,

100
00:04:36,375 --> 00:04:39,165
Chez Chateau Maison, is very exclusive.

101
00:04:39,291 --> 00:04:40,671
They don't just let you in.

102
00:04:40,875 --> 00:04:43,165
In fact, the guards at Fort Knox brag

103
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,580
that Fort Knox is the Chez Chateau Maison

104
00:04:45,667 --> 00:04:48,747
of heavily fortified
gold bullion depositories.

105
00:04:48,834 --> 00:04:49,834
( laughs )

106
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,206
No, they don't.

107
00:04:53,583 --> 00:04:54,583
So how are we getting in?

108
00:04:54,667 --> 00:04:56,377
We could form a ragtag band

109
00:04:56,458 --> 00:04:59,078
of highly trained misfits
to break in, like in the movies.

110
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,376
I call charming con-man.

111
00:05:00,458 --> 00:05:02,078
And you're the flexible girl

112
00:05:02,166 --> 00:05:04,286
who can fold herself
into a dresser drawer.

113
00:05:04,375 --> 00:05:05,325
Thank you very much,

114
00:05:05,458 --> 00:05:06,998
but I can come up with my own role.

115
00:05:07,083 --> 00:05:08,753
I'm the brains of the operation.

116
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,877
Who can fold herself
into a dresser drawer.

117
00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:14,828
And I'll be the scrounger
who can get anything.

118
00:05:15,625 --> 00:05:16,825
Copper wire...

119
00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:21,044
letters of transit, 2,000 Deutsche Marks.

120
00:05:22,542 --> 00:05:23,962
Thanks for playing this game, Tyler,

121
00:05:24,041 --> 00:05:25,671
I've been holding onto these for a while.

122
00:05:27,667 --> 00:05:29,377
And I'll be the sassy computer expert

123
00:05:29,458 --> 00:05:31,788
who uploads the data at the last second.

124
00:05:31,875 --> 00:05:33,745
I've never seen this kind of encryption.

125
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,254
Click, click, click. I'm in!

126
00:05:37,458 --> 00:05:40,918
And I shall be the master of disguise.

127
00:05:44,208 --> 00:05:47,788
Yes, Karl, we'll call you
if we need anyone to look like drapes.

128
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:50,710
Actually, I'm your best hope.

129
00:05:50,792 --> 00:05:53,212
Heather has a massive crush on me.

130
00:05:53,291 --> 00:05:56,001
Really? I heard she had a thing
for some Venetian blinds

131
00:05:56,083 --> 00:05:58,043
at another school. ( laughs )

132
00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:00,880
No, she doesn't.

133
00:06:02,375 --> 00:06:05,745
I'm serious. Recently, women have been
finding me irresistible.

134
00:06:05,834 --> 00:06:07,924
I'm a late bloomer. I get it from Father.

135
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,630
Mother's sole contribution to my genome

136
00:06:09,709 --> 00:06:11,789
is the ability to digest raw boar meat.

137
00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:14,245
If you want raw boar meat,

138
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:15,423
I'll need eight hours.

139
00:06:17,125 --> 00:06:18,125
You've got four.

140
00:06:21,875 --> 00:06:25,325
Karl, thank you for offering to help,
but I already have a plan.

141
00:06:25,417 --> 00:06:27,327
-We can do this without you.
-Suit yourselves.

142
00:06:27,417 --> 00:06:30,077
A Fink only offers his manly wiles once.

143
00:06:30,166 --> 00:06:31,456
Away!

144
00:06:37,792 --> 00:06:40,172
Bennett, I'm so sore
from putting that desk together.

145
00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:42,040
I've the worst crick in my neck.

146
00:06:42,208 --> 00:06:43,538
-( grunts )
-( bones crack )

147
00:06:44,166 --> 00:06:46,496
Ellen, you're just squeezing
an empty water bottle.

148
00:06:46,583 --> 00:06:48,503
It's the only thing
that relieves the pain.

149
00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:49,833
-( grunts )
-( bottle crushing )

150
00:06:51,125 --> 00:06:53,245
We have some menthol rub
in the bathroom.

151
00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:55,003
Yeah, but, Bennett,
that just sounds like this.

152
00:06:55,083 --> 00:06:56,293
( blowing raspberries )

153
00:07:01,625 --> 00:07:03,825
I landed on purple. I'll buy it.

154
00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:05,790
For the 10th time,

155
00:07:05,875 --> 00:07:08,375
this is not a game where you buy things.

156
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:11,670
I'm gonna get a glass of water.

157
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,964
Don't play bouncy house on the couch.

158
00:07:19,083 --> 00:07:20,133
Hi, Mason.

159
00:07:20,542 --> 00:07:22,002
I was bored at home.

160
00:07:22,083 --> 00:07:24,543
STAN: That's Jason, Mason's twin brother.

161
00:07:24,625 --> 00:07:27,205
Chloe doesn't know Mason
has a twin brother.

162
00:07:27,417 --> 00:07:29,207
I'm not even sure they understand.

163
00:07:31,166 --> 00:07:32,536
I have to go to the bathroom,

164
00:07:32,709 --> 00:07:34,209
but I'm playing a game with Chloe.

165
00:07:34,291 --> 00:07:35,501
I'll finish the game with her.

166
00:07:35,583 --> 00:07:36,463
Okay.

167
00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:39,875
Don't play bouncy house on the couch.

168
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,709
You're not the boss of me!

169
00:07:43,583 --> 00:07:45,253
What did I tell you?

170
00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:47,003
Hey, you're pretty.

171
00:07:47,083 --> 00:07:48,673
Okay, you can jump.

172
00:07:50,417 --> 00:07:51,667
It's your turn.

173
00:07:55,625 --> 00:07:57,125
Blue! I'll buy it.

174
00:07:57,208 --> 00:07:59,248
For the 11th time,

175
00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:01,833
this is not a game
where you buy things!

176
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:05,383
I have to go to the bathroom.

177
00:08:08,083 --> 00:08:09,293
All done.

178
00:08:09,375 --> 00:08:10,535
What?

179
00:08:10,625 --> 00:08:12,075
How? No, don't tell me.

180
00:08:12,166 --> 00:08:13,246
I don't want to know.

181
00:08:14,792 --> 00:08:17,252
Good, I don't even know
how it works anyways.

182
00:08:18,125 --> 00:08:19,075
My turn.

183
00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:21,500
No, it's not. You just rolled
and tried to buy blue.

184
00:08:21,583 --> 00:08:23,503
This is not a game where you buy things.

185
00:08:23,583 --> 00:08:25,253
( screams )

186
00:08:27,458 --> 00:08:29,328
Big news! Big news!

187
00:08:29,417 --> 00:08:30,957
Got to let Chloe know
it's something important

188
00:08:31,041 --> 00:08:32,881
but I can't talk in front of Mason.

189
00:08:32,959 --> 00:08:34,249
( barks )

190
00:08:37,792 --> 00:08:39,382
Your dog is acting weird.

191
00:08:39,458 --> 00:08:41,038
When my sock puppets act weird,

192
00:08:41,125 --> 00:08:42,375
I put them on my feet

193
00:08:42,792 --> 00:08:44,462
but I can't do that with your dog.

194
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,579
I think my dog's upset about something.
Could you give us a minute?

195
00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:51,377
Okay, what should I do
so I don't get bored?

196
00:08:51,458 --> 00:08:54,628
I don't know, go look
for mangos in our gazebo.

197
00:08:54,709 --> 00:08:56,459
I don't know
what either of those things are,

198
00:08:56,917 --> 00:08:58,787
but Mommy says I'm an overcomer.

199
00:09:00,959 --> 00:09:03,209
They're taking Princess
to have her puppies.

200
00:09:03,291 --> 00:09:04,541
I heard Heather talking about it.

201
00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:07,415
We've got to go! What are you doing?

202
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:09,460
I wanted to see
what all the fuss was about.

203
00:09:20,250 --> 00:09:23,540
Remember, we're rich girls,
and Stan is a pregnant dog.

204
00:09:27,208 --> 00:09:30,168
You guys said I was silly
to get this pregnancy suit.

205
00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:32,500
But I told you,
when there's a costume sale,

206
00:09:32,583 --> 00:09:33,543
you buy everything.

207
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,460
Next week, I'm a conquistador.

208
00:09:38,709 --> 00:09:39,539
Let's hurry up.

209
00:09:39,625 --> 00:09:41,665
We don't have time to wait
for Tyler to park the car.

210
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,245
Welcome to Chez Chateau Maison.

211
00:09:45,333 --> 00:09:46,793
I'm Grace. How may I help you?

212
00:09:46,875 --> 00:09:50,995
I'm Agatha Von Hempstead
of the Swiss Von Hempsteads.

213
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:55,332
And I'm Constance, her wealthier sister.

214
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,830
Daddy's favorite!

215
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:03,876
As you can see, our beloved
Stana is having puppies

216
00:10:03,959 --> 00:10:06,419
and she simply must be taken care of here.

217
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,080
I'm afraid that won't be possible.

218
00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:10,326
Our last birthing suite
was booked for the day

219
00:10:10,417 --> 00:10:12,127
by the famous French veterinarian,

220
00:10:12,208 --> 00:10:13,878
Dr. Frederic Monfore.

221
00:10:13,959 --> 00:10:15,209
He's flying in shortly

222
00:10:15,291 --> 00:10:17,081
for the show dog Princess's delivery.

223
00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:18,876
It's quite a scandal.

224
00:10:20,291 --> 00:10:21,631
Mutt father.

225
00:10:21,709 --> 00:10:22,539
( gasps )

226
00:10:22,625 --> 00:10:24,125
Oh, my!

227
00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:30,423
Hello, I am Dr. Frederic Monfore.

228
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,830
You're the famous French veterinarian?

229
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,290
You look like a teenager.

230
00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:36,705
I get my youthful looks from my mother.

231
00:10:36,792 --> 00:10:38,792
She looks so young that
when we go out to dinner,

232
00:10:38,875 --> 00:10:40,575
they make her sit in a highchair.

233
00:10:40,750 --> 00:10:41,960
And they make her wear a bib,

234
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:44,041
but that is because she eats like a horse.

235
00:10:45,208 --> 00:10:48,078
That is right, my mother
is a middle-aged woman

236
00:10:48,166 --> 00:10:50,126
who looks like a baby
and eats like a horse.

237
00:10:50,667 --> 00:10:51,877
And that is all you need to know.

238
00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:56,210
I think some of the words here
are getting lost in translation.

239
00:10:56,291 --> 00:10:58,251
Let's just speak in French.

240
00:10:58,375 --> 00:11:00,035
( speaking in French )

241
00:11:04,458 --> 00:11:06,458
( speaking in French )

242
00:11:08,875 --> 00:11:11,035
I'm sorry, Doctor. Of course.
Let me find her file.

243
00:11:11,875 --> 00:11:13,575
How do you know French?

244
00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:15,497
Well, they've given me so much,
with their toast,

245
00:11:15,583 --> 00:11:17,213
their fries, and their farces.

246
00:11:17,291 --> 00:11:19,331
The least I could do
was learn their language.

247
00:11:21,041 --> 00:11:23,041
Right this way, doctor.
Just down the hall.

248
00:11:26,709 --> 00:11:27,919
How did I get here?

249
00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:31,495
Mason? What are you doing here?

250
00:11:31,583 --> 00:11:33,543
I got into the back of your gazebo,

251
00:11:33,625 --> 00:11:34,745
but then it drove away.

252
00:11:34,834 --> 00:11:37,294
You got into the back of our minivan!

253
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,290
Chloe, come on.

254
00:11:40,709 --> 00:11:42,669
Mason, how did you get here?

255
00:11:42,750 --> 00:11:44,290
It's a long story.

256
00:11:44,458 --> 00:11:45,828
First I rolled a seven.

257
00:11:45,917 --> 00:11:46,827
Then I bought purple.

258
00:11:46,917 --> 00:11:48,627
You can't buy purple!

259
00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:53,503
How did I get here?

260
00:12:03,166 --> 00:12:05,416
We've got to find
which room Princess is in.

261
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,420
-Bingo.
-You found Princess?

262
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:09,250
No, there's a dog named Bingo in here.

263
00:12:11,542 --> 00:12:12,462
Jackpot!

264
00:12:12,542 --> 00:12:14,332
There's a dog named Jackpot in there?

265
00:12:14,417 --> 00:12:15,917
No, I found Princess. Catch up.

266
00:12:19,709 --> 00:12:21,789
-Where's Mason?
-You've got to find him.

267
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:24,125
We can't have him roaming around here
messing things up.

268
00:12:24,208 --> 00:12:25,998
Got it. We can't have a free Mason.

269
00:12:28,166 --> 00:12:29,576
What are you doing here?

270
00:12:29,667 --> 00:12:32,247
Security, activate the knock-out gas.

271
00:12:35,625 --> 00:12:38,705
Why do you even have a suggestion box?

272
00:12:41,458 --> 00:12:43,538
Master of disguise.

273
00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:50,128
Less masterful at getting out of disguise.

274
00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:54,748
Do you need me
to take advantage of the fact

275
00:12:54,834 --> 00:12:56,214
that Heather is gaga over me?

276
00:12:56,291 --> 00:12:58,081
You're delusional. Heather is not--

277
00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:00,666
Hello, dreamboat. ( giggles )

278
00:13:03,542 --> 00:13:05,212
You have got to be kidding me.

279
00:13:06,959 --> 00:13:07,879
This is perfect.

280
00:13:07,959 --> 00:13:09,329
I'm gonna take Stan in
to be with Princess.

281
00:13:09,875 --> 00:13:11,875
You make sure Karl keeps
Heather distracted.

282
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,040
How do I smell?

283
00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:16,535
( sniffing )

284
00:13:16,625 --> 00:13:18,955
Heather, stay on my left.

285
00:13:20,917 --> 00:13:23,787
Someone please activate the knock-out gas.

286
00:13:26,041 --> 00:13:27,381
Princess, I made it.

287
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:29,628
( in French accent )
She hasn't had zee puppies yet.

288
00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,379
Why are you still doing the accent?

289
00:13:31,458 --> 00:13:34,748
( in French accent )
I am, how do you say, enjoying it.

290
00:13:36,542 --> 00:13:37,632
What is going on here?

291
00:13:37,709 --> 00:13:40,209
( in French accent )
I am zee famous Dr. Monfore

292
00:13:40,291 --> 00:13:41,831
here to deliver zese puppies.

293
00:13:41,917 --> 00:13:42,957
It is? That's interesting.

294
00:13:43,041 --> 00:13:45,171
Because I am the famous Dr. Monfore

295
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:46,921
here to deliver these puppies.

296
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,920
You are an impostor!

297
00:13:50,834 --> 00:13:52,634
I think my water just broke.

298
00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:54,415
No, that was pee.

299
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,710
I'm really scared.

300
00:14:02,083 --> 00:14:03,673
You know,
when the receptionist told me

301
00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:07,040
I was already in here,
I knew there was a problem.

302
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:11,212
You are in a significant
amount of trouble, impostor!

303
00:14:11,291 --> 00:14:12,671
Zat is ridiculous.

304
00:14:12,875 --> 00:14:15,535
-You, sir, are zee impostor.
-( laughs )

305
00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:17,375
I challenge you to a duel.

306
00:14:21,542 --> 00:14:23,382
I demand satisfaction.

307
00:14:23,458 --> 00:14:24,748
Step outside.

308
00:14:26,709 --> 00:14:27,879
This is a closet!

309
00:14:28,542 --> 00:14:30,172
Or am I?

310
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,420
I mean, or is it?

311
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,290
That is it!
I am calling the authorities!

312
00:14:41,959 --> 00:14:42,829
Oh.

313
00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:45,247
Or is it?

314
00:14:47,417 --> 00:14:49,077
I mean, or are you?

315
00:14:50,792 --> 00:14:53,542
-( knocking on door )
-Quiet, Dr. Monfore!

316
00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:54,875
I have your phone

317
00:14:54,959 --> 00:14:57,129
and I'm not afraid
to go over your minutes.

318
00:14:57,250 --> 00:14:58,250
I will be quiet.

319
00:14:58,333 --> 00:15:00,753
These international rates are killing me.

320
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,920
Mason, don't say anything you shouldn't.

321
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:07,960
It's very complicated.

322
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,501
We're pretending to be other people.

323
00:15:09,583 --> 00:15:11,503
I'm not Mason, I'm Jason.

324
00:15:11,583 --> 00:15:14,083
Sure, we'll go with that.
A little obvious, but okay.

325
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,170
I need to use the bathroom.

326
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,750
Go ahead. I'll wait for you here.

327
00:15:22,208 --> 00:15:23,578
-Hi, Chloe.
-( gasps )

328
00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:27,209
How'd you do that?

329
00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:29,331
I just opened my mouth
and words came out.

330
00:15:29,583 --> 00:15:31,253
"Pajama bottom."

331
00:15:31,417 --> 00:15:33,247
Sometimes it says what it wants to say.

332
00:15:34,875 --> 00:15:35,915
Where's the bathroom?

333
00:15:39,917 --> 00:15:42,167
Ahh. I overheard the kids talking

334
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:43,830
about how Heather's family goes here.

335
00:15:43,917 --> 00:15:46,707
It is the best,
most luxurious spa in the area.

336
00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:49,753
Hi, I'd like to book
a treatment for my wife.

337
00:15:50,959 --> 00:15:54,919
Uh, we're not really right for your wife.

338
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,830
That is ridiculous.

339
00:15:56,917 --> 00:15:58,827
I do not care how exclusive you are.

340
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,707
My wife has a crick in her neck.

341
00:16:00,792 --> 00:16:01,962
-( groans )
-( crushes bottle )

342
00:16:03,625 --> 00:16:05,995
So you are gonna take care of her now.

343
00:16:06,083 --> 00:16:07,253
I don't think you understand.

344
00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:09,833
Oh, I understand perfectly.

345
00:16:09,917 --> 00:16:13,957
( clears throat ) Is this
what you're looking for?

346
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,041
Uh, okay.

347
00:16:16,333 --> 00:16:17,673
If this is what you want.

348
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:20,290
Right this way, ma'am. Come, come.

349
00:16:20,667 --> 00:16:21,957
Come on, girl. Come, come

350
00:16:23,959 --> 00:16:25,169
Thank you so much, Bennett.

351
00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:27,170
I will always remember
you did this for me.

352
00:16:27,917 --> 00:16:29,077
Oh, and give her the works!

353
00:16:29,166 --> 00:16:31,826
Everything that you would do
for any of your clients!

354
00:16:31,917 --> 00:16:33,457
Oh, Daddy.

355
00:16:35,792 --> 00:16:37,382
And that's why the Center
for Disease Control

356
00:16:37,458 --> 00:16:39,458
had to permanently
seal off my first shed

357
00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:41,172
and bury it in the Mojave Desert.

358
00:16:42,959 --> 00:16:43,789
Excuse me.

359
00:16:46,417 --> 00:16:47,577
I can't talk to him.

360
00:16:47,667 --> 00:16:50,077
He's too perfect. I'm too nervous.

361
00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:51,246
I'm gonna vom.

362
00:16:51,542 --> 00:16:53,712
I'll just go and be with Princess.

363
00:16:53,792 --> 00:16:56,332
No, no, no. No.
We can make this work.

364
00:16:56,875 --> 00:16:58,285
If you can't talk to Karl,

365
00:16:58,375 --> 00:16:59,825
you tell me what you want to say

366
00:16:59,917 --> 00:17:01,457
and I'll talk to him for you.

367
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,132
You'd do that for me?

368
00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:05,165
You know this doesn't mean
we'll be friends.

369
00:17:05,250 --> 00:17:08,080
'Cause I know how much you want
to be my friend and it's just sad.

370
00:17:10,667 --> 00:17:12,327
What do you want me
to tell Karl for you?

371
00:17:12,458 --> 00:17:14,128
How many mice
you can fit in your throat

372
00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:15,878
after you've unhinged your jaw?

373
00:17:17,834 --> 00:17:20,424
Tell him he's super-cute
and the total package.

374
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:21,500
( giggles )

375
00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:23,043
And then giggle like that.

376
00:17:28,208 --> 00:17:30,418
So I'm just gonna pretend
we're talking for a few seconds.

377
00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:32,213
Smile and nod.

378
00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:33,788
Now pretend to say something back to me.

379
00:17:33,875 --> 00:17:35,915
My great Aunt Helen has skin like yours.

380
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,580
But hers is from swamp throat.

381
00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:41,582
( giggles )

382
00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:47,540
Is it a problem that we don't have
a real doctor here for the birth?

383
00:17:47,625 --> 00:17:49,705
Dogs do it all the time without doctors.

384
00:17:49,792 --> 00:17:51,582
Heather just got a doctor
because she's snooty.

385
00:17:51,667 --> 00:17:53,627
True, dogs are resilient.

386
00:17:53,709 --> 00:17:57,209
I just ate something called "biohazard",
and I'm aces.

387
00:18:00,625 --> 00:18:01,825
Is everything okay in here?

388
00:18:01,917 --> 00:18:04,327
Yes, everything is fine.

389
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:05,877
These dogs are about to give birth.

390
00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:08,539
All right. I better play along.

391
00:18:08,625 --> 00:18:10,075
Push! Push!

392
00:18:10,166 --> 00:18:11,126
Breathe! Breathe!

393
00:18:11,208 --> 00:18:12,878
( panting )

394
00:18:14,583 --> 00:18:16,713
Another doctor showed up
claiming to be you.

395
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:19,170
No, you must be mistaken.

396
00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:20,630
There is no other doctor here.

397
00:18:20,709 --> 00:18:22,249
( knocking on door )

398
00:18:22,875 --> 00:18:23,745
What's that?

399
00:18:24,375 --> 00:18:26,205
I do not know.

400
00:18:26,291 --> 00:18:27,461
Let us check.

401
00:18:27,542 --> 00:18:28,632
After you.

402
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:30,880
Oh!

403
00:18:30,959 --> 00:18:33,419
DR. MONFORE:
Bonjour, I am a doctor.

404
00:18:34,959 --> 00:18:35,919
( whimpers )

405
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,460
The puppies are coming!

406
00:18:37,542 --> 00:18:39,542
( screams )

407
00:18:39,625 --> 00:18:40,785
It's happening!

408
00:18:40,875 --> 00:18:42,575
I'm not ready!

409
00:18:43,041 --> 00:18:46,171
Now tell him you're my moon,
my stars, my whole world.

410
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,130
And make sureyou put your hand here
when you say it.

411
00:18:49,917 --> 00:18:51,577
You could've just told me to do it.

412
00:18:51,667 --> 00:18:53,537
You didn't have to demonstrate on me,

413
00:18:53,792 --> 00:18:55,712
like with the butterfly kisses earlier.

414
00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:03,711
Do you have any hand sanitizer?

415
00:19:03,792 --> 00:19:04,712
Of course.

416
00:19:04,792 --> 00:19:06,422
And I'll be applying it
liberally to my face

417
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:08,080
as soon as you remove your hand.

418
00:19:09,125 --> 00:19:09,955
( phone chimes )

419
00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:12,463
( gasps ) The puppies are coming.

420
00:19:13,041 --> 00:19:14,881
Okay, I think you two are ready

421
00:19:14,959 --> 00:19:16,249
to talk without my help.

422
00:19:18,208 --> 00:19:21,038
Topic of conversation,
you both think I'm inferior.

423
00:19:21,125 --> 00:19:21,995
Discuss.

424
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:25,000
Her hand is clammy.

425
00:19:25,083 --> 00:19:27,133
Her cheek's no picnic either.

426
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:28,251
( both sigh )

427
00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:38,173
Oh, my gosh, they're coming.

428
00:19:39,291 --> 00:19:41,251
You're gonna be a dad, Stan.

429
00:19:41,333 --> 00:19:43,463
It's all happening so fast.

430
00:19:43,542 --> 00:19:45,252
What if I'm not cut out to be a father?

431
00:19:45,667 --> 00:19:47,377
Dogs aren't like human fathers.

432
00:19:47,834 --> 00:19:50,214
They're not involved
in their puppies' lives at all.

433
00:19:50,959 --> 00:19:52,289
What if I don't love them?

434
00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:57,285
Puppies.

435
00:20:01,166 --> 00:20:02,076
Here, buddy.

436
00:20:07,417 --> 00:20:09,747
Say hi to your son
and daughter, Stan.

437
00:20:12,041 --> 00:20:13,501
There's the sugar.

438
00:20:16,125 --> 00:20:17,785
You are the most amazing,

439
00:20:17,875 --> 00:20:20,785
perfect little wonderful things
I have ever seen.

440
00:20:23,125 --> 00:20:25,575
How could I ever think
I wouldn't love you?

441
00:20:31,333 --> 00:20:33,173
So, what are they doing to your pooch?

442
00:20:36,959 --> 00:20:37,879
I beg your pardon.

443
00:20:38,834 --> 00:20:41,964
That is no way to--
Well, that is offensive.

444
00:20:43,250 --> 00:20:45,080
Oh, one of those modern guys.

445
00:20:45,166 --> 00:20:46,786
Wants to treat 'em like "people."

446
00:20:48,667 --> 00:20:49,877
I love her.

447
00:20:49,959 --> 00:20:52,289
Sure, but come on, all the yipping,

448
00:20:52,375 --> 00:20:54,165
and always needing attention.

449
00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:55,790
Yeah. You get used to it.

450
00:20:57,750 --> 00:20:58,750
I just tell her,

451
00:20:58,834 --> 00:21:02,044
"Lay down at my feet
and be quiet, Duchess."

452
00:21:02,125 --> 00:21:04,125
Well, I feel sorry for her.

453
00:21:06,208 --> 00:21:07,708
There's my Duchess.

454
00:21:08,417 --> 00:21:09,997
Who's a pretty girl?

455
00:21:10,083 --> 00:21:12,383
What did they do to you?
Is that a bow?

456
00:21:22,959 --> 00:21:25,499
I brought Ellen to a dog spa.

457
00:21:27,083 --> 00:21:28,213
She is going to--

458
00:21:28,291 --> 00:21:29,831
-ELLEN: Bennett.
-Ellen!

459
00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:36,130
I am so--
I had no idea that this was--

460
00:21:36,208 --> 00:21:39,458
I have never felt better, Bennett.

461
00:21:39,875 --> 00:21:41,285
I mean, the biscuits are a little hard,

462
00:21:41,375 --> 00:21:43,705
and the tub bath was a tad invasive...

463
00:21:45,458 --> 00:21:48,168
but what an amazing experience.

464
00:21:48,709 --> 00:21:50,329
The important thing is,

465
00:21:50,667 --> 00:21:52,917
no matter what you find out later,

466
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,460
you enjoyed today.

467
00:21:54,917 --> 00:21:56,207
Hold onto that.

468
00:21:58,625 --> 00:22:01,075
Stan, they are so cute.

469
00:22:01,166 --> 00:22:03,666
I'm naming them Freddy and Gracie.

470
00:22:04,291 --> 00:22:05,541
DR. MONFORE: Those are our names.

471
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:08,165
Well, we've put you
two through a lot today.

472
00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:09,960
DR. MONFORE: Awww.
GRACE: Awww.

473
00:22:11,500 --> 00:22:12,750
Are they gonna be able to talk?

474
00:22:12,834 --> 00:22:14,214
Won't know for months.

475
00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:15,955
But it doesn't matter.

476
00:22:16,125 --> 00:22:18,165
I'll love them no matter what.

477
00:22:19,125 --> 00:22:20,665
Only two puppies.

478
00:22:20,750 --> 00:22:22,250
Seems kind of like a small litter.

479
00:22:23,208 --> 00:22:24,418
We'll just think of them as twins.

480
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:27,080
TOGETHER: Our parents say
twins can be a handful.

481
00:22:29,291 --> 00:22:31,711
What? You're a twin?

482
00:22:31,792 --> 00:22:33,382
Why didn't I know
about you're twin, Mason?

483
00:22:33,458 --> 00:22:34,958
We go to different schools.

484
00:22:35,041 --> 00:22:36,751
Our parents want us to be individuals.

485
00:22:36,834 --> 00:22:38,794
But you're wearing the same clothes.

486
00:22:39,250 --> 00:22:40,960
TOGETHER:
How did we get in these?

487
00:22:42,208 --> 00:22:43,788
Ugh! I specifically said

488
00:22:43,875 --> 00:22:45,495
you weren't supposed to be in here.

489
00:22:45,583 --> 00:22:48,753
I knew nothing about this, darling.

490
00:22:49,041 --> 00:22:50,921
When a girl likes you,
it makes you want to like her.

491
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,000
I didn't know
this dynamic was possible.

492
00:22:54,834 --> 00:22:56,424
We just wanted to see the puppies.

493
00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:59,210
Get a good look,
'cause my family's not keeping them.

494
00:22:59,291 --> 00:23:01,331
When they're old enough,
we're giving them away.

495
00:23:02,083 --> 00:23:04,423
Just because you're mad at us
for sneaking in here?

496
00:23:04,500 --> 00:23:06,580
No, we were always giving them away.

497
00:23:06,750 --> 00:23:08,170
My parents don't want more dogs,

498
00:23:08,250 --> 00:23:10,830
and I think mutt puppies are gross.

499
00:23:10,917 --> 00:23:13,917
No! I can't lose my puppies.

500
00:23:21,625 --> 00:23:23,245
ANNOUNCER: Next, on Dog with a Blog.

501
00:23:23,333 --> 00:23:25,503
So Heather wants to give my puppies away.

502
00:23:25,583 --> 00:23:27,713
I may never see my puppies again.

503
00:23:27,792 --> 00:23:29,672
which means we'll have
to come up with a plan

504
00:23:29,750 --> 00:23:32,040
to get Bennett and Ellen
to want to keep them.

505
00:23:32,125 --> 00:23:34,455
I mean, who wouldn't want
to keep these guys?

506
00:23:34,542 --> 00:23:36,082
They're adorable.

507
00:23:36,166 --> 00:23:39,826
So if we can work that out,
we'll be completely home free.

508
00:23:39,917 --> 00:23:42,457
Unless something unexpected happens.

509
00:23:42,917 --> 00:23:46,497
Hello, Stan. It's me,
your evil ex-owner, Ian.

510
00:23:46,583 --> 00:23:48,583
I did not expect that.