1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,130
Welcome to the first meeting
of Stan's Book Club.

2
00:00:05,208 --> 00:00:07,078
Today's book is Moby Dick.

3
00:00:07,792 --> 00:00:10,292
I had a whale of a time reading it.

4
00:00:12,208 --> 00:00:14,038
That's what you do in book clubs, right?

5
00:00:14,125 --> 00:00:15,785
Make terrible puns about the book?

6
00:00:15,875 --> 00:00:19,825
I can't wait till next week
when we'd read The Wizard of Paws.

7
00:00:19,917 --> 00:00:21,747
Ah? Ah?

8
00:00:23,375 --> 00:00:26,125
Stan, you didn't tell me
Karl would be here.

9
00:00:26,625 --> 00:00:28,205
I thought it would just be the two of us.

10
00:00:28,291 --> 00:00:31,831
Likewise. And I also didn't think
we'd actually be discussing the book.

11
00:00:31,917 --> 00:00:34,077
Book clubs are just for gossip.

12
00:00:34,166 --> 00:00:35,576
Guess which neighborhood teen

13
00:00:35,667 --> 00:00:37,627
has been consuming
his mother's strength-training shakes

14
00:00:37,709 --> 00:00:39,749
and can now bench press his own weight,

15
00:00:39,834 --> 00:00:41,424
from when he was seven?

16
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:44,745
I know I didn't tell you
each the other would be here.

17
00:00:44,834 --> 00:00:48,384
But I want you guys to get along
because you're two of the only people

18
00:00:48,458 --> 00:00:49,918
who know I can talk.

19
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,880
And you have so much in common.

20
00:00:51,959 --> 00:00:54,289
You're smart, you love literature,

21
00:00:54,375 --> 00:00:56,495
and you both fart a little
when you're tickled.

22
00:00:56,583 --> 00:00:57,503
Come here.

23
00:00:57,583 --> 00:00:58,753
Both: No!

24
00:01:00,333 --> 00:01:02,833
Oh, wait. I'm the tickle farter.
Tickle me!

25
00:01:02,917 --> 00:01:04,077
Both: No!

26
00:01:05,667 --> 00:01:08,497
Stan, this whole thing is misguided.

27
00:01:08,583 --> 00:01:10,673
We have nothing in common.

28
00:01:10,750 --> 00:01:14,630
Karl is a pompous buffoon who names
his sweater vests after Greek gods.

29
00:01:14,709 --> 00:01:17,999
Demigods. Only full sweaters
are named after gods.

30
00:01:18,625 --> 00:01:21,245
She's insufferable, isn't she, Perseus?

31
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,130
We have nothing in common.

32
00:01:24,208 --> 00:01:26,878
Nothing in common? How can you say that?

33
00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:28,919
You're in the same book club!

34
00:01:30,542 --> 00:01:34,172
As much as I like you, Stan,
this book club is officially a bust.

35
00:01:34,250 --> 00:01:36,290
I'm going to go withdraw to my sanctuary.

36
00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,039
I'm sorry, Stan, but I'm leaving, too.

37
00:01:39,709 --> 00:01:41,669
Oh, and, Karl, here's a tip.

38
00:01:41,750 --> 00:01:45,290
If your "sanctuary" has mulch and shovels,

39
00:01:45,375 --> 00:01:47,285
it's probably more of a shed.

40
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:51,040
You say "potato," I say "pommes aligot."

41
00:01:51,125 --> 00:01:53,705
Because you're common
and I enjoy French cuisine.

42
00:01:54,667 --> 00:01:55,667
( scoffs )

43
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:59,000
Well, I guess it's just
you and me, Robert.

44
00:02:01,375 --> 00:02:02,915
So what did you think of the book?

45
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,380
You did read it, didn't you?

46
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,918
What? The audiobook?

47
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,080
Robert, that's abridged!

48
00:02:11,458 --> 00:02:14,128
Stan: So we never did
get to discuss Moby Dick.

49
00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:17,043
[reading]

50
00:02:20,834 --> 00:02:22,834
( theme music playing )

51
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,330
Tyler, don't snack.
You'll ruin your appetite for dinner.

52
00:02:41,417 --> 00:02:42,497
Bennett, back me up here.

53
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,252
Listen to your mother.

54
00:02:50,792 --> 00:02:52,212
I want to quit dance.

55
00:02:52,291 --> 00:02:53,381
What do you mean?

56
00:02:53,458 --> 00:02:55,668
Your big recital's
coming up in a few days.

57
00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:57,710
You mean, I'm not gonna get
to sit through three hours

58
00:02:57,792 --> 00:03:01,332
of other kids dancing just to see
your two minute routine?

59
00:03:01,417 --> 00:03:02,917
Well, you gave it your best shot.

60
00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:06,247
No, no, Bennett.
Chloe can't quit dance now.

61
00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:08,003
I don't like dance anymore.

62
00:03:08,083 --> 00:03:09,923
I want to quit
and learn to do some awesome

63
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,420
BMX bike tricks like Tyler.

64
00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:13,210
Chloe, all right.

65
00:03:13,291 --> 00:03:15,331
You're gonna look so cool all scarred up.

66
00:03:17,333 --> 00:03:18,793
Tyler, don't encourage her.

67
00:03:18,875 --> 00:03:21,205
Fine, I'll never encourage
my little sister again.

68
00:03:21,291 --> 00:03:23,461
I was hoping we'd be close.
But that's on you.

69
00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:27,580
Chloe, you can't quit dance three days
before the big recital.

70
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,381
Back me up here, Bennett.

71
00:03:29,917 --> 00:03:30,877
Well--

72
00:03:32,959 --> 00:03:34,879
( seeds clattering )

73
00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:13,877
Sweetie, come here.

74
00:04:13,959 --> 00:04:16,459
Listen, we've already paid
for the classes,

75
00:04:16,542 --> 00:04:19,832
the costumes, the recital tickets,
pre-ordered the DVD.

76
00:04:19,917 --> 00:04:23,077
-You got to finish what you start.
-Mommy quit that cooking class.

77
00:04:23,166 --> 00:04:25,496
And if you start
a grease fire while dancing,

78
00:04:25,583 --> 00:04:26,673
you can quit, too.

79
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,670
You never let me do anything.

80
00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:32,420
You said I can't do BMX,
you said I can't be a lion tamer

81
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:33,880
at the circus when I grow up.

82
00:04:33,959 --> 00:04:36,499
Lion tamer is
even more dangerous than BMX.

83
00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:38,173
I've thought it all out, Mommy.

84
00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:39,920
If things go bad with the lion,

85
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,170
I'll just push a clown
in front of me and run.

86
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,500
You can't outrun a lion.

87
00:04:45,583 --> 00:04:48,503
I don't have to outrun a lion,
I just have to outrun the clown.

88
00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:54,293
Go and get it. (laughs)

89
00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:55,875
Knockedy-knockedy.

90
00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:57,419
What do you want, Karl?

91
00:04:58,333 --> 00:05:01,753
I came to apologize for being so irascible
at the book club.

92
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:04,044
The truth is, I respect you a great deal.

93
00:05:04,125 --> 00:05:06,325
I don't know why we so often butt heads.

94
00:05:06,417 --> 00:05:07,707
I respect you, too.

95
00:05:07,792 --> 00:05:09,882
Mainly because
we're the only two kids I know

96
00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:11,749
who wouldn't make some
juvenile joke off the fact

97
00:05:11,834 --> 00:05:13,254
that you just said "butt heads."

98
00:05:14,291 --> 00:05:16,541
And yet you've managed to make
a joke in the very process

99
00:05:16,625 --> 00:05:17,955
of denying that you were doing so.

100
00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:19,041
Well played.

101
00:05:20,417 --> 00:05:21,537
Thank you, Karl.

102
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,955
I knew you two would come together.

103
00:05:26,959 --> 00:05:28,669
Well, maybe I should get going.

104
00:05:29,667 --> 00:05:31,877
Or... you can stay.

105
00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:34,794
( romantic music playing )

106
00:05:34,875 --> 00:05:39,205
♪ Oooh-ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪

107
00:05:39,291 --> 00:05:40,751
The music is nice.

108
00:05:41,667 --> 00:05:43,417
Yes, it is.

109
00:05:46,208 --> 00:05:48,668
( vocalizing )

110
00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:52,290
Ahh!

111
00:05:52,375 --> 00:05:53,745
Ahh!

112
00:05:56,417 --> 00:05:58,827
I just had the most horrible nightmare.

113
00:05:58,917 --> 00:06:01,667
I was about to... kiss Karl Fink.

114
00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:04,710
This is your fault for trying to
push us together, Stan.

115
00:06:04,792 --> 00:06:07,252
Hey, I just wanted you two to be friends.

116
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:09,633
You're the one who's getting
all freaky with it.

117
00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:18,134
Hey, Tyler.

118
00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:20,288
I want to practice some
BMX tricks after my dance class.

119
00:06:20,375 --> 00:06:21,375
Will you help me?

120
00:06:21,458 --> 00:06:24,958
Chloe, you heard what Mom and Dad said.
If I help you, I'll get in trouble.

121
00:06:25,041 --> 00:06:27,791
When did we switch places and you became
the cute little girl?

122
00:06:29,709 --> 00:06:32,379
Chloe, I'm old enough now
that I'm not gonna give in

123
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:35,378
to peer pressure and be made to do
something I know is wrong.

124
00:06:35,458 --> 00:06:36,668
I'm not in your peer group.

125
00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:38,210
Good point. Let's do it.

126
00:06:38,709 --> 00:06:41,919
But we're gonna have to keep this a secret
from Mom and Dad.

127
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,580
I'm good at keeping secrets.

128
00:06:43,667 --> 00:06:46,247
I kept the secret that I have
mice in my sock drawer.

129
00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:47,673
( Ellen screaming )

130
00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:49,040
Sometimes they get out.

131
00:06:54,583 --> 00:06:56,543
Dad, I didn't sleep well last night.

132
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:59,745
Were you up again writing
presidential fan fiction?

133
00:06:59,834 --> 00:07:01,964
I just think James Buchanan
and Edgar Allan Poe

134
00:07:02,041 --> 00:07:03,671
could've solved a lot of crimes together.

135
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,375
But this is different.

136
00:07:06,458 --> 00:07:11,078
I didn't sleep well last night
because I had a very disturbing dream.

137
00:07:11,166 --> 00:07:14,126
As a psychologist, you know
about dream interpretation, right?

138
00:07:14,208 --> 00:07:15,878
I know a thing or two about it.

139
00:07:15,959 --> 00:07:19,129
A thing or two, or are you an expert?

140
00:07:19,208 --> 00:07:22,328
Sorry, I'm tired. I didn't mean
to sound like Count Dracula.

141
00:07:23,458 --> 00:07:25,668
You'll get that when you
read my latest installment.

142
00:07:26,166 --> 00:07:28,626
Buchanan and Poe have their hands full.

143
00:07:29,959 --> 00:07:32,169
Yes, I am an expert.

144
00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:35,880
In fact, maybe I'll write
some psychology fan fiction

145
00:07:35,959 --> 00:07:40,919
featuring me and Sigmund Freud
solving crimes of the mind.

146
00:07:42,709 --> 00:07:44,669
Fun. Don't.

147
00:07:46,875 --> 00:07:49,285
So tell me about this dream.

148
00:07:49,375 --> 00:07:51,575
Well, without going into the specifics,

149
00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:53,997
it was a dream in which
I started to do something

150
00:07:54,083 --> 00:07:57,633
that I would never in a million years
really want to do.

151
00:07:57,709 --> 00:07:59,959
Like swimming the butterfly
through an open sewer

152
00:08:00,041 --> 00:08:02,211
or talking to my dad
about something personal.

153
00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:04,708
So what does that mean?

154
00:08:04,792 --> 00:08:07,382
It may very well be your subconscious

155
00:08:07,458 --> 00:08:09,828
telling you that you
do want to do this thing.

156
00:08:09,917 --> 00:08:12,167
Really? I see.

157
00:08:13,083 --> 00:08:15,133
( silent scream )

158
00:08:17,667 --> 00:08:20,957
Or it could be the exact opposite.
Dreams are weird that way.

159
00:08:21,583 --> 00:08:24,173
Like when I dreamed
I was an Olympic gymnast

160
00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:28,540
and I finished third on the pommel horse
and my Bulgarian shot-putting girlfriend

161
00:08:28,625 --> 00:08:31,035
breaks up with me for a guy
who didn't even medal.

162
00:08:31,125 --> 00:08:32,825
Didn't even medal!

163
00:08:34,417 --> 00:08:35,417
Avery?

164
00:08:36,625 --> 00:08:37,705
Avery!

165
00:08:39,166 --> 00:08:43,916
Oh. I know it was just a dream,
but I wonder...

166
00:08:47,959 --> 00:08:49,579
Go for the gold, Bennett!

167
00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:51,537
Go for the gold!

168
00:08:51,625 --> 00:08:52,785
Huh! Oh...

169
00:08:52,875 --> 00:08:55,245
Oh! Oh! Oh!

170
00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:58,833
( grunts ) I got it! I did it! I did it!

171
00:08:58,917 --> 00:09:00,077
No, I didn't.

172
00:09:00,542 --> 00:09:01,922
( screams ) Oh!

173
00:09:06,083 --> 00:09:08,293
No wonder Svetlana broke up with you.

174
00:09:15,458 --> 00:09:17,538
I'm ready for my first BMX lesson, Tyler.

175
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:20,415
-What are you wearing?
-My dance recital costume.

176
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:22,130
I'm a BMX princess.

177
00:09:22,208 --> 00:09:23,628
Sure, why not.

178
00:09:24,250 --> 00:09:26,540
They should make
an animated movie about me.

179
00:09:26,625 --> 00:09:27,625
I'll sing this song.

180
00:09:28,166 --> 00:09:29,576
♪ Ride the bike ♪

181
00:09:29,667 --> 00:09:30,827
♪ Ride the bike ♪

182
00:09:30,917 --> 00:09:34,827
♪ There'll be no stopping me ♪

183
00:09:34,917 --> 00:09:36,497
♪ Ride the bike ♪

184
00:09:36,583 --> 00:09:37,753
♪ Ride the bike ♪

185
00:09:37,834 --> 00:09:41,964
♪ While my princess dress flows free ♪

186
00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:43,501
Probably win an Oscar.

187
00:09:45,458 --> 00:09:46,538
Sure, why not?

188
00:09:47,208 --> 00:09:49,498
Now let's get you up
to the top of the ramp.

189
00:09:49,583 --> 00:09:52,003
Wow, you put that together
all by yourself?

190
00:09:52,083 --> 00:09:53,633
Are we even allowed to do this here?

191
00:09:53,709 --> 00:09:55,129
Sure, why not?

192
00:09:57,125 --> 00:09:59,785
Safety is very important, Chloe.

193
00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:02,285
So before you do any riding,
we are going to discuss

194
00:10:02,375 --> 00:10:03,745
exactly what's gonna happen,

195
00:10:03,834 --> 00:10:06,504
and then we're gonna walk
through it a few times slowly

196
00:10:06,583 --> 00:10:07,963
so you can get
the feel of what it's like--

197
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,081
YOLO!

198
00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:14,170
( crashing )

199
00:10:15,709 --> 00:10:19,079
That was awesome!

200
00:10:19,166 --> 00:10:20,376
Chloe, your dress!

201
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:25,329
Tyler, why didn't we
walk through it a few times slowly

202
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:26,997
so I could get the feel of it?

203
00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:36,080
Hey, Karl. What's up?
Plotting world domination?

204
00:10:36,166 --> 00:10:38,996
Oh, please. Dominating Pasadena
will more than suffice.

205
00:10:39,083 --> 00:10:42,543
There are whole swaths of the world
that are just nothing but headaches.

206
00:10:43,583 --> 00:10:44,673
Hello, Stan.

207
00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:48,460
Hey Karl. Did you see my plans
for a cat teleportation device?

208
00:10:48,542 --> 00:10:51,292
It's just an X with a large rock
hanging over it.

209
00:10:51,375 --> 00:10:52,535
Shh.

210
00:10:52,625 --> 00:10:54,495
The cats don't know that.

211
00:10:56,333 --> 00:10:58,753
So anyway, here's the thing.

212
00:10:58,834 --> 00:11:00,254
I had this weird dream,

213
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:02,173
and I was thinking
that we should talk about it.

214
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:05,170
But now that I'm here,
I realize it's just one dream.

215
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:06,290
No big deal. Right?

216
00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,245
Quite possibly. It could mean nothing.

217
00:11:10,375 --> 00:11:11,995
Or it could mean this...

218
00:11:13,125 --> 00:11:14,575
( romantic music playing )

219
00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:18,167
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪

220
00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:22,670
Ahh!

221
00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:25,711
Ahh! Karl, stop licking my hand!

222
00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:28,750
Ahh!

223
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,375
Stan!

224
00:11:33,458 --> 00:11:37,378
You can't eat ribs for dinner
and expect this not to happen.

225
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,460
No, I had the nightmare again.

226
00:11:41,542 --> 00:11:43,672
Having the dream once
could've been a fluke.

227
00:11:43,750 --> 00:11:45,580
But this is a pattern.

228
00:11:45,667 --> 00:11:46,827
What if my dad's right?

229
00:11:46,917 --> 00:11:50,207
What if it does represent
a subconscious desire?

230
00:11:50,291 --> 00:11:53,251
I had a dream once that
I ate a giant marshmallow,

231
00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:54,333
and when I woke up--

232
00:11:54,417 --> 00:11:56,127
Don't tell me. The pillow was gone.

233
00:11:56,208 --> 00:11:58,578
No. Chloe was gone.

234
00:11:59,875 --> 00:12:00,915
Then she came back in.

235
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,040
With marshmallows.

236
00:12:02,125 --> 00:12:03,825
But they were just regular size.

237
00:12:05,208 --> 00:12:08,878
Look, I know you're trying to cheer me up,
but I'm freaking out.

238
00:12:09,375 --> 00:12:12,785
Maybe you should talk to Karl and see
if it's really what you want.

239
00:12:12,875 --> 00:12:13,955
At least you'll know.

240
00:12:14,041 --> 00:12:15,711
No! I can't do that.

241
00:12:15,792 --> 00:12:18,172
I can never say
anything to him about this.

242
00:12:18,250 --> 00:12:20,580
And you have to promise
not to say anything to him either.

243
00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:26,000
Is it possible that I... like Karl Fink?

244
00:12:26,083 --> 00:12:27,753
( retches )

245
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:31,464
Avery, either throw up or don't,
but don't tease me like that.

246
00:12:36,834 --> 00:12:39,584
Hey, Karl. What's up?

247
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:41,327
Not that something has to be up.

248
00:12:41,417 --> 00:12:43,287
Nothing's up. Stop grilling me!

249
00:12:44,709 --> 00:12:46,129
You're acting weird.

250
00:12:46,208 --> 00:12:48,538
Well, I mean, weirder than
normal for a talking dog.

251
00:12:48,625 --> 00:12:51,325
Well, if anyone knows
"weird," it's you, right?

252
00:12:51,417 --> 00:12:53,287
I love the way you say "It's not weird."

253
00:12:53,375 --> 00:12:55,165
Do that. Do that for me now.

254
00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:56,830
Say "It's not weird."

255
00:12:58,250 --> 00:13:00,040
I suppose I may say that on occasion,

256
00:13:00,125 --> 00:13:02,245
but it's a perfectly
acceptable turn of phrase.

257
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:03,503
It's not weird.

258
00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:06,416
Ah, you said it!

259
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:08,920
I love when you say that!

260
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,000
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

261
00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:13,883
Is it hot in here? Stop grilling me!

262
00:13:15,583 --> 00:13:18,133
Stan, you're obviously
uncomfortable about something,

263
00:13:18,208 --> 00:13:20,748
and I'm assuming there's a reason
you came over here, so what is it?

264
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:22,384
Not a secret I promised to keep

265
00:13:22,458 --> 00:13:25,628
that Avery dreamed about kissing you,
that's for sure.

266
00:13:25,709 --> 00:13:26,789
Dang it!

267
00:13:28,125 --> 00:13:31,165
How do you successfully keep the secret
that you can talk?

268
00:13:31,250 --> 00:13:32,790
I have no idea.

269
00:13:39,542 --> 00:13:41,212
Chloe, your recital is tomorrow.

270
00:13:41,291 --> 00:13:43,921
Why didn't you ask Avery
to fix the costume like we talked about?

271
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,040
I did. She said she can't fix it.

272
00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:47,455
I can't fix it.

273
00:13:48,458 --> 00:13:50,128
What do you mean, she can't fix it?

274
00:13:50,208 --> 00:13:52,458
She's a whiz with sewing.
She's doing this whole fashion thing.

275
00:13:52,542 --> 00:13:55,832
I may be a whiz with sewing
and doing this whole fashion thing,

276
00:13:55,917 --> 00:13:57,417
but the fabric is ruined.

277
00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:59,000
Can't she get more fabric?

278
00:13:59,583 --> 00:14:00,583
No.

279
00:14:01,625 --> 00:14:03,995
But there has to be something
that she can do.

280
00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:06,133
There's nothing Avery can do, Chloe.

281
00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:08,628
And it's late. She's already asleep.

282
00:14:08,709 --> 00:14:11,249
Now if you'll excuse me,
Avery had ribs for dinner

283
00:14:11,333 --> 00:14:13,423
and there's something
very important I have to do.

284
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,205
Go to bed and wait.

285
00:14:20,291 --> 00:14:22,421
I'll get to you later, Chicken Fingers.

286
00:14:24,166 --> 00:14:26,786
We are gonna be in such huge trouble
when Mom and Dad see this.

287
00:14:26,875 --> 00:14:29,785
Well, the recital's not until tomorrow.

288
00:14:29,875 --> 00:14:32,535
Maybe something magical
will happen to get us out of this.

289
00:14:32,625 --> 00:14:35,575
Chloe, be realistic.
Nothing magical ever happens to us.

290
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,917
-Hey, guys. What's up?
-Stan, we're busy.

291
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,960
We don't have time
for a talking dog right now.

292
00:14:41,542 --> 00:14:42,832
Bennett: Chloe?

293
00:14:45,041 --> 00:14:48,001
Chloe, go put on your recital costume.
We're going to take some pictures.

294
00:14:48,083 --> 00:14:50,963
Now? The recital's not until tomorrow.

295
00:14:51,041 --> 00:14:53,041
Yeah, but the pictures
never turn out at the recital

296
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:54,825
because they won't let you use the flash.

297
00:14:54,917 --> 00:14:58,127
What do you mean? I look so cute
in this photo from last year.

298
00:14:59,667 --> 00:15:01,577
Chloe, put on your costume.

299
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:04,207
-Where is the good camera?
-I think it's in your office.

300
00:15:04,291 --> 00:15:05,751
Remember, we set it up on the timer

301
00:15:05,834 --> 00:15:08,134
to take that picture of me
using the Force on you?

302
00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:11,037
-( beeping )
-Now!

303
00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:17,213
-We'll go get the camera.
-Chloe, get your costume on.

304
00:15:19,458 --> 00:15:21,208
Whew, that was close.

305
00:15:21,291 --> 00:15:23,251
They almost caught me
and Robert having a little fun

306
00:15:23,333 --> 00:15:24,383
with their camera.

307
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:31,827
-Knockedy--
-Please don't say "knockedy" again.

308
00:15:33,125 --> 00:15:34,875
All right, I won't.

309
00:15:37,709 --> 00:15:39,829
All right, I can't say just
one and leave it hanging. "Knockedy."

310
00:15:39,917 --> 00:15:41,377
Ha. There. Isn't that better?

311
00:15:43,083 --> 00:15:46,253
Karl, you are the last person
I want to see right now.

312
00:15:46,834 --> 00:15:49,084
Avery, Stan told me.

313
00:15:49,834 --> 00:15:50,834
He told you?

314
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,917
And if this is something
that's haunting your dreams,

315
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,290
perhaps it's something
that we should explore.

316
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,420
Perhaps it is.

317
00:16:01,458 --> 00:16:03,458
( romantic music playing )

318
00:16:03,542 --> 00:16:07,672
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪

319
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,380
Ahh!

320
00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:13,038
It is weird!

321
00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:20,628
I don't know
how glue is gonna fix the dress.

322
00:16:20,709 --> 00:16:21,749
Do you have a better idea?

323
00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:25,246
If I just pat it down here, we can--

324
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:28,540
Okay, don't freak out,

325
00:16:28,625 --> 00:16:30,075
but I think my hand
is glued to your shoulder.

326
00:16:30,166 --> 00:16:32,286
-Tyler!
-I said don't freak out.

327
00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,958
I can get some leverage
if I push my hand off.

328
00:16:39,709 --> 00:16:42,209
You just glued your other hand
to my head, didn't you?

329
00:16:42,291 --> 00:16:43,631
Yes. Yes, I did.

330
00:16:43,709 --> 00:16:46,249
-I can push off my with my--
-Stop!

331
00:16:46,333 --> 00:16:48,423
Everything you do makes it worse.

332
00:16:50,542 --> 00:16:52,792
Well, you called that one.
Our sides are glued together.

333
00:16:54,083 --> 00:16:56,253
Okay, time for pictures.

334
00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:57,583
Tyler, move out of the way.

335
00:16:57,667 --> 00:17:01,167
No, no. I want to be
in these pictures with Chloe.

336
00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:03,790
My little dancing sis who I love so much.

337
00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:05,955
I'm so proud of you. So proud.

338
00:17:07,250 --> 00:17:09,000
That is so sweet.

339
00:17:10,750 --> 00:17:13,420
Okay, now, Tyler, get out of the way.
I want to get some of her dancing.

340
00:17:14,959 --> 00:17:18,879
Or some of us dancing together.

341
00:17:18,959 --> 00:17:20,539
Yeah. Whoo.

342
00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:22,543
Ow!

343
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,745
I mean, yay!

344
00:17:25,959 --> 00:17:27,669
Kids, what is going on here?

345
00:17:27,750 --> 00:17:29,670
You know how you always say that

346
00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:32,880
brothers and sisters
should stick together?

347
00:17:34,875 --> 00:17:36,955
Okay, here's your punishment.

348
00:17:37,041 --> 00:17:39,751
We called the dance studio
and there are no more costumes

349
00:17:39,834 --> 00:17:41,384
for the princess number.

350
00:17:41,458 --> 00:17:45,248
But they do have extras
for the tin soldier dance.

351
00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:46,883
With the kindergarteners.

352
00:17:46,959 --> 00:17:48,169
( gasps )

353
00:17:51,959 --> 00:17:53,329
Take it from me, kids.

354
00:17:53,417 --> 00:17:55,457
You don't want to go
behind your parents' back.

355
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:57,082
I've been down that road.

356
00:17:59,333 --> 00:18:02,213
And the choreography doesn't work
with an odd number of girls.

357
00:18:02,291 --> 00:18:04,251
So your punishment, Tyler, is...

358
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,543
( gasps )

359
00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:21,293
Mom, I need some advice.

360
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:22,955
Of course. Sit.

361
00:18:23,041 --> 00:18:25,831
We'll have cheesecake
as I share my experiences,

362
00:18:25,917 --> 00:18:27,497
my wisdom, my love.

363
00:18:27,583 --> 00:18:30,133
I live for these moments
when you come to me like this.

364
00:18:30,208 --> 00:18:32,538
And I might do it more if you didn't make

365
00:18:32,625 --> 00:18:34,325
such a big deal out of it.

366
00:18:39,542 --> 00:18:41,382
So what's happenin'?
Let's chat. Break it down.

367
00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:44,707
When you were younger,

368
00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:46,962
was there ever a boy
you thought you didn't like,

369
00:18:47,041 --> 00:18:49,131
but maybe you really did,
but you just didn't know it?

370
00:18:49,208 --> 00:18:51,038
What is some boy telling you?

371
00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:54,705
No, no, no, no one's telling me anything.

372
00:18:54,792 --> 00:18:56,752
I just might be confused.

373
00:18:56,834 --> 00:18:58,964
When you met Dad,
how did you know you liked him?

374
00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:00,963
Well, I didn't know at first.

375
00:19:01,041 --> 00:19:02,961
Not until the night of our first kiss.

376
00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:05,417
He put his hand on my cheek.

377
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:07,210
I put my hand on his shoulder.

378
00:19:07,917 --> 00:19:12,457
And as I closed my eyes,
even before we kissed, I knew.

379
00:19:13,750 --> 00:19:16,000
Wow. That's really romantic.

380
00:19:16,917 --> 00:19:19,627
-Thanks, Mom.
-Any time. No big. It's all good.

381
00:19:21,542 --> 00:19:23,752
I did not just advise you to kiss a boy.

382
00:19:23,834 --> 00:19:26,044
I knew before the kiss! No kiss! No kiss!

383
00:19:30,083 --> 00:19:31,173
Thanks for coming.

384
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:33,000
I got your text that you needed to see me.

385
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:34,503
I think I know why.

386
00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:35,963
Stan told me about your dream.

387
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:38,331
He told you about the kissing
and the hand licking?

388
00:19:38,417 --> 00:19:40,877
-What hand licking?
-Hand licking? I never said hand licking.

389
00:19:40,959 --> 00:19:42,749
I wasn't getting all freaky with it.

390
00:19:45,291 --> 00:19:47,461
Ohh, this is so humiliating.

391
00:19:47,542 --> 00:19:48,582
For both of us.

392
00:19:48,667 --> 00:19:52,037
After Stan planted the idea in my head,
I had the same dream.

393
00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:53,995
Only without your freaky hand licking.

394
00:19:56,291 --> 00:19:59,541
Wait. How do we know this isn't a dream?

395
00:19:59,625 --> 00:20:01,285
There's only one way to find out.

396
00:20:03,333 --> 00:20:04,253
Both: Ahhh!

397
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:05,423
It's not a dream.

398
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,880
Your fingers are like little vices!

399
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:14,455
You know, we'll never get past this
if we don't explore whether or not

400
00:20:14,542 --> 00:20:16,712
there's any real feelings here.

401
00:20:17,709 --> 00:20:18,879
( both shudder )

402
00:20:20,417 --> 00:20:21,417
Stan.

403
00:20:22,583 --> 00:20:23,883
( romantic music playing )

404
00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:27,329
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪

405
00:20:28,875 --> 00:20:30,915
Ellen: He put his hand on my cheek.

406
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,830
I put my hand on his shoulder.

407
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:36,670
And as I closed my eyes,
even before we kissed,

408
00:20:36,750 --> 00:20:37,790
I knew.

409
00:20:38,458 --> 00:20:40,038
I know.

410
00:20:40,125 --> 00:20:42,325
Just like with my mom, I know.

411
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:45,042
I could not be more repulsed right now

412
00:20:45,125 --> 00:20:47,375
if I were sucking the sweat
out of an old gym sock.

413
00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:50,960
Oh, Avery.

414
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,171
I feel the exact same way.

415
00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:56,250
Only I had licking the sludge
from the hair trap in my sink.

416
00:20:58,709 --> 00:21:01,379
-So I'm gonna leave quickly now.
-The quicker the better. Goodbye.

417
00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:05,040
Well, I bet you feel
better now, don't you?

418
00:21:05,125 --> 00:21:07,165
-Good for you, Avery.
-Yeah.

419
00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:08,790
But we still have the little matter

420
00:21:08,875 --> 00:21:12,165
to discuss of you telling Karl
about my dream.

421
00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:14,880
But... I didn't.

422
00:21:14,959 --> 00:21:17,169
This is all a dream.

423
00:21:17,792 --> 00:21:19,422
I'm not really a talking dog.

424
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:21,210
How crazy would that be?

425
00:21:21,291 --> 00:21:23,251
It's all a dream, dream,

426
00:21:23,333 --> 00:21:25,173
dream, a dream, dream, dream...

427
00:21:25,834 --> 00:21:27,674
But the part where you
feed me table scraps

428
00:21:27,750 --> 00:21:29,830
is real, real, real...

429
00:21:29,917 --> 00:21:31,207
So keep doing that.

430
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:36,039
Stan: Well, Avery and Karl
never did kiss.

431
00:21:36,125 --> 00:21:39,035
But I hope the whole thing
brings them closer together.

432
00:21:39,125 --> 00:21:41,705
Speaking of getting closer together...

433
00:21:43,458 --> 00:21:46,038
Kinda lonely in the house
tonight, isn't it, Stan?

434
00:21:46,125 --> 00:21:47,415
Just you and me.

435
00:21:49,125 --> 00:21:50,995
( romantic music playing )

436
00:21:51,083 --> 00:21:54,503
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪

437
00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:57,710
Ahh!

438
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:00,920
( music playing )

439
00:22:01,250 --> 00:22:02,250
( boing )