1
00:00:04,748 --> 00:00:06,337
Ah, what's up, Josh? Hey, Nick.

2
00:00:06,348 --> 00:00:07,368
How was play practice?

3
00:00:07,379 --> 00:00:09,098
Rehearsal. We call it rehearsal.

4
00:00:09,108 --> 00:00:11,066
Oh. And what do you do in rehearsal?

5
00:00:11,076 --> 00:00:12,322
Practice.

6
00:00:12,333 --> 00:00:14,025
Hmm. Yeah. Hmm.

7
00:00:14,036 --> 00:00:16,158
Opening night's in two days, baby.
You feel good?

8
00:00:16,169 --> 00:00:18,561
I do. I still can't believe it.
I'm gonna be on Broadway.

9
00:00:18,571 --> 00:00:20,023
Oh, bro, you can't say it like that.

10
00:00:20,034 --> 00:00:22,038
You got to do something
with your hands, you know?

11
00:00:22,049 --> 00:00:23,533
- Like,<i> Broadway.</i>
- Ah.

12
00:00:23,544 --> 00:00:24,968
Wow, you're pretty good at that.

13
00:00:24,978 --> 00:00:27,263
Yeah, you know, I kind of find
it spices up most things.

14
00:00:27,274 --> 00:00:29,716
You know, it's actually how I
told the residents that we had

15
00:00:29,727 --> 00:00:31,855
<i>bedbugs.</i>

16
00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:33,699
You know, I got to admit,
for the first time

17
00:00:33,710 --> 00:00:37,915
since I moved back from L.A., I'm
really excited about my<i> future.</i>

18
00:00:37,925 --> 00:00:40,183
You know what, let's
just keep that as my thing.

19
00:00:40,193 --> 00:00:43,177
- Yeah, let's do that. Okay.
- Okay, yeah, that'll be your thing.

20
00:00:47,733 --> 00:00:49,927
At this point, it'd be weird
to walk into my apartment

21
00:00:49,937 --> 00:00:52,095
and not find you here.

22
00:00:52,105 --> 00:00:55,799
Joshua, we love you so very, very much.

23
00:00:55,809 --> 00:00:57,734
Okay.

24
00:00:57,744 --> 00:00:59,235
We have something to tell you.

25
00:00:59,245 --> 00:01:02,004
It's a very sensitive subject, and...

26
00:01:02,014 --> 00:01:04,507
Your ex-wife's in New York, be strong.

27
00:01:04,517 --> 00:01:06,075
Can we go now?

28
00:01:06,085 --> 00:01:08,212
Wait, what, Kim is in town?
How do you know?

29
00:01:08,222 --> 00:01:10,425
Daddy saw it on Facebook.

30
00:01:11,046 --> 00:01:12,773
Dad, it's been ten months
since my divorce,

31
00:01:12,784 --> 00:01:15,382
and you're still Facebook
friends with my ex-wife?

32
00:01:15,393 --> 00:01:17,185
I feel defriending someone

33
00:01:17,196 --> 00:01:19,890
is a real slap in the face.

34
00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:23,192
Plus, I can't figure out how.

35
00:01:23,688 --> 00:01:26,273
Harry, I spent an hour showing you how.

36
00:01:26,284 --> 00:01:28,164
And I enjoyed our time together,

37
00:01:28,174 --> 00:01:30,611
but I took nothing from it.

38
00:01:31,572 --> 00:01:33,635
Please, promise me you won't see her.

39
00:01:33,646 --> 00:01:35,062
Yes, Josh, stay away.

40
00:01:35,073 --> 00:01:37,065
Guys, you don't have to worry.
I've moved on.

41
00:01:37,076 --> 00:01:38,732
Oh, that's what you always say.

42
00:01:38,742 --> 00:01:40,869
Maybe before I moved on,
but not anymore,

43
00:01:40,879 --> 00:01:42,293
because I've moved on.

44
00:01:42,304 --> 00:01:44,351
Keep saying it. We almost believe you.

45
00:01:44,362 --> 00:01:47,780
It's okay, Josh.
Everyone has that person

46
00:01:47,791 --> 00:01:49,511
they're powerless against.

47
00:01:49,521 --> 00:01:51,813
Yeah, mine was Jason Leshay.

48
00:01:51,823 --> 00:01:54,548
He sounds like a real D-bag.

49
00:01:54,558 --> 00:01:55,649
What can I say?

50
00:01:55,659 --> 00:01:57,695
I have a type.

51
00:01:59,331 --> 00:02:00,922
Mine was Sheldon Black.

52
00:02:00,932 --> 00:02:04,992
I knew he was bad for me,
but I always liked bad boys.

53
00:02:05,002 --> 00:02:06,727
Obviously.

54
00:02:07,758 --> 00:02:10,543
Well, Kim may have been
my kryptonite in the past,

55
00:02:10,554 --> 00:02:12,785
but time has given me
some much-needed perspective,

56
00:02:12,796 --> 00:02:14,002
and I've moved on.

57
00:02:14,012 --> 00:02:16,371
And there's four.

58
00:02:16,381 --> 00:02:17,805
God, Kim was the worst.

59
00:02:17,815 --> 00:02:21,693
Yeah. I hated how she was
always criticizing you.

60
00:02:21,704 --> 00:02:23,110
That's my thing.

61
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,079
I always knew there'd come
a time when she'd come

62
00:02:25,089 --> 00:02:28,015
crawling across the
country to win you back.

63
00:02:28,025 --> 00:02:31,353
Is getting him back really winning?

64
00:02:31,363 --> 00:02:32,920
See? It's my thing.

65
00:02:32,930 --> 00:02:36,390
Yeah. Look, I'm sure Kim
didn't come to New York for me.

66
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:37,591
No, she didn't.

67
00:02:37,601 --> 00:02:39,460
She's here promoting her new book.

68
00:02:39,470 --> 00:02:41,096
Wait, she wrote another book?

69
00:02:41,106 --> 00:02:43,631
Yes, a novel called<i> The Enemy You Know.</i>

70
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,500
"A woman's marriage crumbles

71
00:02:45,510 --> 00:02:48,370
"thanks to her husband's
dysfunctional family,

72
00:02:48,380 --> 00:02:50,839
"headed by his absentminded father

73
00:02:50,849 --> 00:02:53,640
and overbearing, controlling mother."

74
00:02:53,650 --> 00:02:55,477
Wow.

75
00:02:55,487 --> 00:02:57,722
That family sounds horrible.

76
00:03:09,078 --> 00:03:11,458
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -

77
00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:21,548
I cannot believe Kim
wrote a novel about us

78
00:03:21,559 --> 00:03:22,868
without asking my permission.

79
00:03:22,879 --> 00:03:26,940
Well, she left you
without asking your permission.

80
00:03:27,743 --> 00:03:28,767
This is terrible.

81
00:03:28,778 --> 00:03:30,372
I know, it's a total violation...

82
00:03:30,383 --> 00:03:32,674
A podiatrist. Feet?

83
00:03:32,685 --> 00:03:34,745
I am a surgeon
in real life, and she made.

84
00:03:34,755 --> 00:03:36,680
"Andre" a podiatrist.

85
00:03:36,690 --> 00:03:38,749
That is a huge demotion.

86
00:03:38,759 --> 00:03:41,551
Well, it's better than being
"Joan, the passive-aggressive

87
00:03:41,561 --> 00:03:44,120
and easily outraged mother-in-law."

88
00:03:44,130 --> 00:03:46,357
I am outraged.

89
00:03:46,367 --> 00:03:49,126
She said I was pretty.

90
00:03:49,136 --> 00:03:53,229
And she's pretty, so it
means more coming from her.

91
00:03:53,239 --> 00:03:55,065
I thought you hated her.

92
00:03:55,075 --> 00:03:56,632
Not anymore.

93
00:03:56,642 --> 00:03:58,769
Maybe we're jumping to conclusions.

94
00:03:58,779 --> 00:04:01,537
These characters aren't necessarily us.

95
00:04:01,547 --> 00:04:03,740
Really? "Harvey, the lawyer father"

96
00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:06,310
who's obsessed with vegetables"
doesn't ring a bell?

97
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:09,380
It's not me.
Everyone knows I'm a fruit man.

98
00:04:09,390 --> 00:04:12,682
The only vegetable I really like
is the tomato.

99
00:04:12,692 --> 00:04:14,618
Tomatoes are a fruit.

100
00:04:14,628 --> 00:04:16,286
What?

101
00:04:16,296 --> 00:04:18,655
Well, I'm putting this piece
of trash where it belongs:

102
00:04:18,665 --> 00:04:20,624
in the garbage.

103
00:04:20,634 --> 00:04:23,660
She said I had great style.

104
00:04:23,670 --> 00:04:25,540
What a writer.

105
00:04:26,706 --> 00:04:28,131
Podiatrist.

106
00:04:28,141 --> 00:04:30,534
You literally cannot get any lower

107
00:04:30,544 --> 00:04:33,348
on the human body.

108
00:04:37,751 --> 00:04:39,542
Hey.

109
00:04:39,552 --> 00:04:40,710
- Hey.
- Thank you.

110
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,147
Oh, I am loving Kim's book.

111
00:04:43,157 --> 00:04:44,586
- Oh, me, too.
- Yeah, I just feel

112
00:04:44,597 --> 00:04:46,633
like I'm learning so much
about the Roberts family.

113
00:04:46,644 --> 00:04:48,318
You know, like,
before you were a surgeon,

114
00:04:48,328 --> 00:04:49,922
did you really want to be a podiatrist?

115
00:04:49,933 --> 00:04:51,688
No.

116
00:04:51,698 --> 00:04:54,357
Podiatrists are the creeps
of the medical community.

117
00:04:54,367 --> 00:04:57,361
Even proctologists know that.

118
00:04:57,371 --> 00:04:58,796
Well, is it true that, uh...

119
00:04:58,806 --> 00:05:01,398
you didn't let your dad
speak at your own wedding?

120
00:05:01,408 --> 00:05:02,732
'Cause that's cold, man.

121
00:05:02,742 --> 00:05:04,400
- What?
- What?

122
00:05:04,410 --> 00:05:06,414
Ah, damn, you didn't get
to that part yet, did you?

123
00:05:06,425 --> 00:05:07,804
Ah, spoiler alert. My bad. No.

124
00:05:07,814 --> 00:05:09,739
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What did she say, exactly?

125
00:05:09,749 --> 00:05:11,140
Uh, well, let me see.

126
00:05:11,150 --> 00:05:13,277
Hold on. Uh, okay.

127
00:05:13,287 --> 00:05:15,746
It was somewhere back here.

128
00:05:15,756 --> 00:05:17,847
Oh, okay. Uh, 247.

129
00:05:17,857 --> 00:05:19,450
During Andre and Eva's wedding,

130
00:05:19,460 --> 00:05:21,350
Andre tells Harvey he can't give a toast

131
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:22,785
because the microphone's broken,

132
00:05:22,795 --> 00:05:24,421
but that's a lie.

133
00:05:24,431 --> 00:05:26,289
Okay? Uh, the truth is,

134
00:05:26,299 --> 00:05:27,825
he doesn't want his dad to speak

135
00:05:27,835 --> 00:05:29,400
on account of him being so long-winded.

136
00:05:29,411 --> 00:05:30,962
Yeah, we know what happened, Nick.

137
00:05:30,973 --> 00:05:32,662
It's Andrew's biggest regret.

138
00:05:32,672 --> 00:05:35,664
I was just trying to protect
the wedding from what we both knew

139
00:05:35,675 --> 00:05:37,768
would be a confusing
and meandering toast.

140
00:05:37,778 --> 00:05:40,410
Harry wanted to speak after
dinner, before dancing.

141
00:05:40,421 --> 00:05:41,879
And that is a critical moment.

142
00:05:41,890 --> 00:05:44,640
People would have left early,
and then you're<i> that</i> wedding.

143
00:05:45,298 --> 00:05:47,611
Ah, well, I wouldn't know
what you're talking about,

144
00:05:47,621 --> 00:05:49,813
'cause, uh, it's impossible
to be that wedding

145
00:05:49,823 --> 00:05:51,111
when I'm on your dance floor.

146
00:05:51,122 --> 00:05:53,119
Oh, snap. Oh, here he goes.

147
00:05:53,130 --> 00:05:55,355
- There he goes. There he goes.
- Okay, Nick, please.

148
00:05:55,366 --> 00:05:57,092
How is that helping?

149
00:05:57,297 --> 00:05:59,323
When Harry finds out
what really happened,

150
00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:00,724
he's gonna be devastated.

151
00:06:00,734 --> 00:06:02,559
- What are we gonna do?
- I-I got no choice.

152
00:06:02,569 --> 00:06:05,294
I got to go over there
and come clean to my dad.

153
00:06:05,304 --> 00:06:07,463
No, seriously, what are you gonna do?

154
00:06:07,473 --> 00:06:09,543
I'm gonna rip the page out of his book.

155
00:06:13,213 --> 00:06:15,405
Hello, Andrew.

156
00:06:15,415 --> 00:06:19,376
I'm just enjoying my new favorite fruit,
the tomato.

157
00:06:19,386 --> 00:06:22,378
What part are you up to
in, uh, Kim's book?

158
00:06:22,388 --> 00:06:25,215
Andre has just proposed to Eva

159
00:06:25,225 --> 00:06:29,585
and taken New York's hottest podiatrist
off the market.

160
00:06:29,595 --> 00:06:32,321
Great. Hey, you know, Dad,

161
00:06:32,331 --> 00:06:34,258
I could really go
for one of those tomatoes.

162
00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:35,303
Coming right up.

163
00:06:37,937 --> 00:06:39,830
I'll bring you a napkin.

164
00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:41,775
These babies are squirters.

165
00:06:50,417 --> 00:06:52,653
Here you go.

166
00:06:56,857 --> 00:06:59,316
Did you just eat a piece of paper?

167
00:06:59,326 --> 00:07:01,285
I did. Yeah, yeah.

168
00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:02,518
Yeah.

169
00:07:02,528 --> 00:07:04,287
- Why?
- Mm.

170
00:07:04,297 --> 00:07:06,222
I read in a medical journal recently

171
00:07:06,232 --> 00:07:07,834
that, um, paper is high in fiber.

172
00:07:11,504 --> 00:07:14,330
I just confirmed our dinner reservation

173
00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:16,333
at Charlie's for tomorrow night.

174
00:07:16,343 --> 00:07:17,867
Did you know that's where we went

175
00:07:17,877 --> 00:07:19,869
after you saw your very first show?

176
00:07:19,879 --> 00:07:20,964
Great.

177
00:07:20,975 --> 00:07:22,838
And now we're going there tomorrow night

178
00:07:22,848 --> 00:07:25,943
after your Broadway debut.

179
00:07:25,953 --> 00:07:28,277
I just wish Grandma were alive.

180
00:07:28,287 --> 00:07:31,547
Such a bitch.

181
00:07:31,557 --> 00:07:34,850
She could be, but I still loved her.

182
00:07:34,860 --> 00:07:37,813
- No, no, no. Not Grandma. Kim.
- Oh.

183
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:39,256
Put away that nonsense.

184
00:07:39,266 --> 00:07:41,336
You said you were done with her.
Be done with her.

185
00:07:41,347 --> 00:07:43,926
But the characters in her
novel are clearly us,

186
00:07:43,936 --> 00:07:46,897
but Kelly, her character,
comes off like some kind of hero

187
00:07:46,907 --> 00:07:49,700
while Joe and his family
are the unreasonable ones.

188
00:07:49,710 --> 00:07:51,734
- She's a terrible person.
- Exactly.

189
00:07:51,744 --> 00:07:54,100
Who didn't deserve to wear
your grandmother's ring.

190
00:07:54,111 --> 00:07:56,951
Which is why the one I gave you
to give her was a fake.

191
00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,287
It was?

192
00:07:59,298 --> 00:08:01,445
Yes. When you find a girl I like,

193
00:08:01,455 --> 00:08:04,448
I'll give you the real one.

194
00:08:04,458 --> 00:08:07,984
Oh, and now Joe is too heartless

195
00:08:07,994 --> 00:08:10,453
to respond to Kelly's
beautifully-written letter?

196
00:08:10,463 --> 00:08:13,357
Why are you working
yourself up like this?

197
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:14,924
You're right. I've moved on.

198
00:08:14,934 --> 00:08:17,338
I am putting this behind me.

199
00:08:21,475 --> 00:08:23,266
What is wrong with you?

200
00:08:23,276 --> 00:08:25,035
Whoa, Josh. Hi.

201
00:08:25,045 --> 00:08:26,419
How did you know where to find me?

202
00:08:26,430 --> 00:08:29,052
My dad's Facebook. He doesn't
know how to defriend someone.

203
00:08:29,063 --> 00:08:30,997
And if you're gonna write
about me and my family,

204
00:08:31,008 --> 00:08:33,039
- least you could do is be truthful.
- Aw.

205
00:08:33,050 --> 00:08:34,554
You read my book? Yeah.

206
00:08:35,054 --> 00:08:36,806
And I was being truthful.

207
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:39,413
Really? Joe pouted after he
didn't win a Golden Globe?

208
00:08:39,424 --> 00:08:41,494
You locked yourself
in the bathroom for an hour.

209
00:08:41,505 --> 00:08:42,718
I ate bad shrimp.

210
00:08:42,728 --> 00:08:44,253
And what about the letter

211
00:08:44,264 --> 00:08:47,428
Kelly wrote to Joe apologizing for
being a bad wife and leaving him?

212
00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:49,102
- I did write that letter.
- No, you didn't.

213
00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:51,560
Yes, I did. I sent it to New York
right after you moved there.

214
00:08:51,570 --> 00:08:53,862
To your parents' apartment.
Haven't you been living there?

215
00:08:53,873 --> 00:08:55,995
- No, I've been living next door.
- Well, same thing.

216
00:08:56,006 --> 00:08:57,690
No, it's not. Why does
everyone say that?

217
00:08:57,701 --> 00:08:59,084
They are two separate apartments.

218
00:08:59,095 --> 00:09:01,810
Well, I did send the letter,
and I don't know what happened to it.

219
00:09:03,482 --> 00:09:05,475
I know exactly what happened to it.

220
00:09:05,485 --> 00:09:07,643
Because I have Joan for a mother.

221
00:09:07,653 --> 00:09:09,212
Oh, God.

222
00:09:09,222 --> 00:09:11,558
Judy strikes again.

223
00:09:13,049 --> 00:09:15,784
It's gonna be fine. You ate the paper.

224
00:09:15,794 --> 00:09:17,656
Has it worked its way...?

225
00:09:17,667 --> 00:09:21,356
No. I guess it's not so high in fiber.

226
00:09:21,366 --> 00:09:23,303
Andrew.

227
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:25,997
Did I ever show you what Mommy got me

228
00:09:26,008 --> 00:09:27,563
for my birthday last year?

229
00:09:27,573 --> 00:09:29,765
- What is that?
- A Kindle.

230
00:09:29,775 --> 00:09:30,954
A Kindle?

231
00:09:30,965 --> 00:09:33,305
Yes. It's a robot book.

232
00:09:33,746 --> 00:09:36,072
I got to the part about your wedding.

233
00:09:36,082 --> 00:09:39,509
Turns out the microphone wasn't broken.

234
00:09:39,519 --> 00:09:42,417
I am so sorry, Dad.

235
00:09:42,428 --> 00:09:44,065
Yeah, Harry, we're very sorry.

236
00:09:44,076 --> 00:09:46,214
Why didn't you want me to make a speech?

237
00:09:46,225 --> 00:09:47,623
It's just that...

238
00:09:47,634 --> 00:09:50,969
sometimes when you talk,
you can kind of meander.

239
00:09:50,980 --> 00:09:52,706
You think I meander?

240
00:09:52,992 --> 00:09:55,052
This was the voice mail

241
00:09:55,063 --> 00:09:57,693
you left me yesterday.

242
00:09:57,703 --> 00:09:59,828
Andrew, it's your dad.

243
00:09:59,838 --> 00:10:02,231
After Josh's show,
we're going to dinner at...

244
00:10:03,742 --> 00:10:06,420
Will you look at that sunset.

245
00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:08,209
It's an orange purple.

246
00:10:08,220 --> 00:10:10,744
Reminds me of those ice pops
you loved as a kid

247
00:10:10,755 --> 00:10:12,340
when we went to New Hampshire.

248
00:10:12,351 --> 00:10:13,708
What was that lake called?

249
00:10:14,602 --> 00:10:16,446
Lake Winnipesaukee.

250
00:10:16,456 --> 00:10:17,847
No, that's not it.

251
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,388
There's my other sock!

252
00:10:20,399 --> 00:10:23,251
Okay, I-it went on
for another seven minutes.

253
00:10:23,261 --> 00:10:26,255
I'll make an effort to be more succinct.

254
00:10:26,265 --> 00:10:27,523
Mad.

255
00:10:28,233 --> 00:10:29,725
Leaving.

256
00:10:30,124 --> 00:10:31,638
Bye.

257
00:10:33,276 --> 00:10:35,798
I cannot believe my mother
didn't give me your letter.

258
00:10:35,808 --> 00:10:39,331
Well, we are talking about the woman
who put her married son on Match.com.

259
00:10:41,414 --> 00:10:44,171
So, what was in that letter?

260
00:10:44,182 --> 00:10:45,694
Oh. Doesn't matter now.

261
00:10:45,705 --> 00:10:47,007
No, it does. Tell me.

262
00:10:47,018 --> 00:10:49,924
Uh... just that I missed you

263
00:10:49,935 --> 00:10:52,226
and I made a huge mistake

264
00:10:52,237 --> 00:10:55,599
and wanted to give things another shot.

265
00:10:55,610 --> 00:10:57,541
- Really?
- Yeah.

266
00:10:57,552 --> 00:11:00,118
And, unfortunately, two nude pics.

267
00:11:00,634 --> 00:11:02,361
Which my mother might have seen.

268
00:11:02,372 --> 00:11:04,111
- Were they tasteful?
- They were not.

269
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,707
Then I'm even madder.

270
00:11:05,718 --> 00:11:07,582
Oh, I should probably go
yell at her right now.

271
00:11:07,593 --> 00:11:10,528
- I don't want to stand in your way.
- Well, I am glad

272
00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:11,976
- we solved this mystery.
- Me, too.

273
00:11:11,987 --> 00:11:13,265
Bye. Bye.

274
00:11:23,740 --> 00:11:26,294
Ah! There he is, Mr. Broadway.

275
00:11:26,305 --> 00:11:29,125
- Hey, Nick.
- Hey, man, can I get your autograph?

276
00:11:29,136 --> 00:11:30,773
Oh, 'cause my play opens tonight?

277
00:11:30,784 --> 00:11:33,854
Uh, no, I want to sell
your ex-wife's book on eBay.

278
00:11:37,358 --> 00:11:38,482
Wait a minute.

279
00:11:38,724 --> 00:11:40,941
Same clothes as yesterday.

280
00:11:40,952 --> 00:11:42,842
Smell of fancy hotel shampoo.

281
00:11:42,853 --> 00:11:44,795
Bounce in your tiny little steps.

282
00:11:44,806 --> 00:11:46,242
Josh, you got some last night!

283
00:11:46,253 --> 00:11:48,045
- No, no, no! I did not...
- Yeah...

284
00:11:48,056 --> 00:11:51,115
Now, don't you deny it. You
know I got that sexth sense.

285
00:11:51,126 --> 00:11:52,949
Okay, I spent the night with Kim.

286
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,286
But keep that between you and me, okay?

287
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:56,035
There are certain people
who would not react

288
00:11:56,046 --> 00:11:57,888
to this news with the same level
of enthusiasm.

289
00:11:57,898 --> 00:11:59,334
- I got you. Okay.
- Okay.

290
00:12:00,368 --> 00:12:01,755
Wait,

291
00:12:01,766 --> 00:12:04,028
something's different.

292
00:12:04,038 --> 00:12:06,297
You slept with Kim.

293
00:12:06,307 --> 00:12:09,968
Ooh! Yes, Mrs. R! You got
that sexth sense, too!

294
00:12:09,978 --> 00:12:12,581
Why didn't you give me
the letter Kim sent?

295
00:12:12,592 --> 00:12:16,208
I'm sorry, I can't hear you
because of my enormous earmuffs.

296
00:12:16,218 --> 00:12:18,209
Oh, you gonna want to
stay for this. Come on.

297
00:12:18,219 --> 00:12:20,378
You had no right to interfere.

298
00:12:20,388 --> 00:12:21,979
I did it for your own good.

299
00:12:21,989 --> 00:12:23,382
No, you did it for<i> your</i> own good.

300
00:12:23,392 --> 00:12:25,249
Well, they're one and the same.

301
00:12:25,259 --> 00:12:28,152
Aw, darling, you were so happy
back in New York,

302
00:12:28,162 --> 00:12:30,789
and I thought if you saw
that letter and those pictures,

303
00:12:30,799 --> 00:12:32,991
she would lure you in,
like she always did.

304
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,635
Well, it was my decision to make,

305
00:12:34,646 --> 00:12:36,094
just like this one was.

306
00:12:36,104 --> 00:12:39,096
- Kim's coming to the show tonight.
- Oh...

307
00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:41,400
What?

308
00:12:41,738 --> 00:12:44,268
- Why?
- Because I want her there.

309
00:12:45,191 --> 00:12:48,272
Well, as long
as she isn't sitting with us.

310
00:12:48,282 --> 00:12:50,622
- She's not.
- Where is she sitting?

311
00:12:50,633 --> 00:12:52,375
You don't like the front row anyway.

312
00:12:52,386 --> 00:12:54,345
Oh, my God.

313
00:12:55,394 --> 00:12:56,547
That's fine.

314
00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:59,350
This is not about me.
It's your opening night.

315
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,018
If you want Kim there,

316
00:13:01,028 --> 00:13:04,122
I will suffer in silence,
the way I always do,

317
00:13:04,132 --> 00:13:06,791
because I am a wonderful marther.

318
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:09,895
Did you just say "martyr" or "mother"?

319
00:13:09,905 --> 00:13:11,063
Yes.

320
00:13:12,740 --> 00:13:14,557
Mm, no, hold on, hold on, hold on.

321
00:13:14,568 --> 00:13:17,105
Sometimes there's an extra
bonus scene after the credits.

322
00:13:19,714 --> 00:13:22,620
Aw, damn. No, they done. They done.

323
00:13:24,807 --> 00:13:27,344
Harry, I think I've done it this time.

324
00:13:27,354 --> 00:13:30,348
Josh found out
that I threw away Kim's letter.

325
00:13:30,358 --> 00:13:32,284
Am I a bad mother, Harry?

326
00:13:35,653 --> 00:13:38,790
This is the part
where you say I'm wonderful and perfect

327
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,858
and my boys are lucky to have me.

328
00:13:40,868 --> 00:13:43,571
I knew if I didn't, you would.

329
00:13:43,582 --> 00:13:45,730
Harry, what am I supposed to do,
just sit back

330
00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:47,887
and let Josh make a terrible decision?

331
00:13:47,898 --> 00:13:49,123
He's a grown-up.

332
00:13:49,134 --> 00:13:50,736
Let him live his life.

333
00:13:52,379 --> 00:13:55,107
This is the part where you say,

334
00:13:55,117 --> 00:13:59,111
"You're right. I'll respect his wishes."

335
00:13:59,121 --> 00:14:01,824
That doesn't sound like me at all.

336
00:14:06,043 --> 00:14:09,755
And how great was it when that
beautiful and classy woman stood up

337
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,481
and started the standing ovation?

338
00:14:11,492 --> 00:14:13,650
Yes, Mom. You did a really good job.

339
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,295
Yeah, I haven't seen someone go
"Whoo, whoo, whoo!"

340
00:14:17,305 --> 00:14:18,829
in a long time.

341
00:14:20,037 --> 00:14:22,065
Hey, guys! Come on in!
Oh, you were awesome!

342
00:14:22,076 --> 00:14:23,502
Aw. Oh, Joshie.

343
00:14:23,512 --> 00:14:25,469
Aw. Oh, darling, you were incredible!

344
00:14:25,479 --> 00:14:28,207
Yeah, bro, I can't even think
of anything snarky to say.

345
00:14:28,218 --> 00:14:31,780
Oh, uh, Ma, I think I
got a little of my makeup on you.

346
00:14:31,791 --> 00:14:34,544
My brother just got makeup on my mother.

347
00:14:34,555 --> 00:14:36,017
Uh, put a pin in that one.

348
00:14:36,028 --> 00:14:38,688
- What an amazing night.
- I know.

349
00:14:38,699 --> 00:14:40,317
- It really is.
- Yes.

350
00:14:40,328 --> 00:14:42,988
All my dreams are coming true.

351
00:14:42,999 --> 00:14:44,374
Hi!

352
00:14:45,499 --> 00:14:48,526
Oh. Hello...

353
00:14:48,536 --> 00:14:50,233
Hi.

354
00:14:50,244 --> 00:14:52,496
- Congratulations.
- Oh, thank you.

355
00:14:52,507 --> 00:14:55,288
- Mwah, you were amazing.
- Oh, thank you for the flowers.

356
00:14:55,306 --> 00:14:57,068
- They're beautiful.
- Hi, Kim!

357
00:14:57,079 --> 00:14:58,568
You look pretty.

358
00:14:58,579 --> 00:15:00,504
Aw, thanks, Eve.

359
00:15:00,514 --> 00:15:02,273
How do I look?

360
00:15:02,884 --> 00:15:05,075
- Pretty.
- Aw! Thank you!

361
00:15:08,290 --> 00:15:11,583
Well, anyway, I know you guys
have a big dinner to get to,

362
00:15:11,593 --> 00:15:13,951
so... see you tomorrow?

363
00:15:13,961 --> 00:15:16,454
Okay. Bye.

364
00:15:16,464 --> 00:15:17,518
Nice to see you.

365
00:15:17,529 --> 00:15:19,924
- Bye, Kim.
- Uh, wait.

366
00:15:19,935 --> 00:15:22,160
Kim,

367
00:15:22,170 --> 00:15:25,274
it was wrong of me not
to show your letter to Josh.

368
00:15:26,408 --> 00:15:28,334
I was out of line, and...

369
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:30,453
I apologize.

370
00:15:30,612 --> 00:15:32,503
What is happening?

371
00:15:32,513 --> 00:15:34,349
Is Mom dying?

372
00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:37,136
Thank you, Judy.

373
00:15:37,147 --> 00:15:40,010
And you'd be more than welcome
to join us for dinner.

374
00:15:40,021 --> 00:15:42,379
Are we all dying?

375
00:15:42,389 --> 00:15:45,041
Uh, that would be great. Thanks, Mom.

376
00:15:45,052 --> 00:15:47,618
- Okay. Sure.
- Let's go.

377
00:15:47,628 --> 00:15:50,731
Hey, Judy, since you're
in an apologetic mood...

378
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:53,478
Oh, lightning doesn't
strike twice, darling.

379
00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:59,465
I just want to say, this is
such a great night for me,

380
00:15:59,476 --> 00:16:02,137
and I am so happy to be able to share it

381
00:16:02,148 --> 00:16:03,873
with everyone at this table.

382
00:16:04,145 --> 00:16:06,137
- Aw, cheers.
- Cheers. To you, sweetheart.

383
00:16:06,147 --> 00:16:07,539
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

384
00:16:08,583 --> 00:16:09,864
So, what are we getting?

385
00:16:09,875 --> 00:16:12,630
Oh, let's order a bunch
of stuff, family-style.

386
00:16:12,641 --> 00:16:15,313
- Yeah.
- I'd actually rather do my own thing.

387
00:16:15,323 --> 00:16:17,376
Well, that works, too.

388
00:16:17,387 --> 00:16:18,696
Wait, that's an option? For years,

389
00:16:18,707 --> 00:16:21,318
I've been eating whatever
your mother tells me to.

390
00:16:21,329 --> 00:16:23,332
I used to be a vegetarian.

391
00:16:24,168 --> 00:16:27,131
Dad, how 'bout we do
the old rib eye for two?

392
00:16:27,142 --> 00:16:29,093
No. Pass.

393
00:16:29,104 --> 00:16:30,366
Chicken.

394
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:32,781
All right, point taken, okay?

395
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:35,266
I feel horrible.
I never should have stopped you

396
00:16:35,277 --> 00:16:38,150
- from giving your wedding speech.
- Yeah, I bet it would've been great.

397
00:16:38,161 --> 00:16:40,290
- Do you mean that?
- Yes. Yes. And I wish

398
00:16:40,301 --> 00:16:41,905
we could go back in time so you could...

399
00:16:41,916 --> 00:16:44,337
Wh-Why are you standing up
and clinking your glass?

400
00:16:44,348 --> 00:16:46,374
I remember every word.

401
00:16:46,521 --> 00:16:48,646
Buckle up, everyone.

402
00:16:48,656 --> 00:16:50,325
Hello, everybody.

403
00:16:50,336 --> 00:16:52,662
First, I'd like to apologize

404
00:16:52,673 --> 00:16:55,652
to whoever drives a black Prius.

405
00:16:55,663 --> 00:16:58,522
I thought those dents
would pop right out,

406
00:16:58,532 --> 00:17:01,032
but I only made them worse.

407
00:17:03,637 --> 00:17:06,266
When Andrew first introduced us to Eve,

408
00:17:06,277 --> 00:17:08,695
I thought she was a tiny man.

409
00:17:09,643 --> 00:17:11,328
And I was okay with it.

410
00:17:11,339 --> 00:17:14,465
I just want my kids to be happy.

411
00:17:14,641 --> 00:17:17,656
But then I learned what
a caring, supportive,

412
00:17:17,674 --> 00:17:19,735
brilliant little man you are.

413
00:17:21,555 --> 00:17:23,581
I guess what I'm trying to say is

414
00:17:23,591 --> 00:17:26,584
there's nothing more important
than family.

415
00:17:26,594 --> 00:17:29,621
When I looked at Judy
for the first time,

416
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:31,588
she felt like family.

417
00:17:31,598 --> 00:17:36,316
And, Eve, the first time I met you,
you felt that way, too.

418
00:17:36,327 --> 00:17:40,064
You fit perfectly
into the crazy Roberts clan.

419
00:17:40,942 --> 00:17:44,340
And Judy and I couldn't be more thrilled

420
00:17:44,351 --> 00:17:46,844
that you are officially part of it.

421
00:17:47,215 --> 00:17:49,629
Here's to the happy couple.

422
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,065
Aw.

423
00:17:51,076 --> 00:17:53,629
Harry, that was so sweet. Mwah.

424
00:17:54,055 --> 00:17:56,227
- Darling.
- Wow.

425
00:17:56,238 --> 00:17:59,032
Yeah. That just kept going.

426
00:17:59,530 --> 00:18:01,342
That was a really beautiful speech.

427
00:18:01,353 --> 00:18:04,303
Hey, let's skip dessert. We've
already done the family thing.

428
00:18:04,314 --> 00:18:06,972
Let's go back to the hotel
and do the "you and me" thing.

429
00:18:07,634 --> 00:18:09,727
You don't fit into this family.

430
00:18:09,738 --> 00:18:10,946
Thank you.

431
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:13,115
No, you see, that's the thing.

432
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:17,000
Yes, they can be incredibly
invasive and overbearing

433
00:18:17,011 --> 00:18:19,797
and all the other things
you said about them in your book,

434
00:18:19,824 --> 00:18:21,245
but they're my family.

435
00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:24,797
You know,
for the past year, I've wondered

436
00:18:24,808 --> 00:18:27,133
if I made the right choice
coming back to them.

437
00:18:27,354 --> 00:18:28,658
And now I know I did.

438
00:18:31,726 --> 00:18:34,330
I... Please.

439
00:18:35,363 --> 00:18:38,390
So, what are you saying?

440
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,191
I'm saying we were right
to end things when we did.

441
00:18:41,201 --> 00:18:46,021
Well, if you feel that way,
I guess I should go.

442
00:18:46,032 --> 00:18:47,291
I think you should.

443
00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:49,334
Bye.

444
00:18:49,344 --> 00:18:51,212
Bye!

445
00:18:53,435 --> 00:18:54,708
Are you okay?

446
00:18:55,647 --> 00:18:58,310
Yeah. I am.

447
00:18:58,996 --> 00:19:00,653
And you know what?

448
00:19:00,664 --> 00:19:02,390
I'm glad you never gave me that letter.

449
00:19:04,533 --> 00:19:05,791
See?

450
00:19:05,802 --> 00:19:08,494
- I am a wonderful marther.
- Yeah.

451
00:19:08,989 --> 00:19:11,263
Did she say "martyr" or "mother"?

452
00:19:11,274 --> 00:19:12,599
Yes.

453
00:19:27,076 --> 00:19:28,605
Hello...

454
00:19:28,615 --> 00:19:31,377
Look what I found in
our storage container.

455
00:19:31,388 --> 00:19:34,692
This box is full of things
you never gave to us.

456
00:19:34,703 --> 00:19:38,106
- I knew this day would come.
- It wasn't just Kim's letter.

457
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,892
A mixtape from my
summer camp girlfriend?

458
00:19:40,903 --> 00:19:43,307
I never liked her.

459
00:19:43,318 --> 00:19:48,245
My medical school
acceptance letter to Oxford.

460
00:19:48,863 --> 00:19:50,900
Too far.

461
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,283
- My favorite dress.
- Oh.

462
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,686
I thought it was a tiny tablecloth.

463
00:19:57,165 --> 00:19:59,323
Mom, this is not normal behavior.

464
00:19:59,333 --> 00:20:01,527
It's true, Judy. It's too much.

465
00:20:01,538 --> 00:20:02,868
And it stops now.

466
00:20:02,879 --> 00:20:05,196
You can't run
other people's lives for them.

467
00:20:05,207 --> 00:20:07,703
I don't run other people's lives.

468
00:20:07,714 --> 00:20:11,413
I gently guide them toward being
the best version of themselves

469
00:20:11,424 --> 00:20:13,828
- they can be.
- Well, you have to stop.

470
00:20:13,839 --> 00:20:15,537
Especially when it comes
to my love life.

471
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:19,373
I have had it. And I'm sick
of having this conversation.

472
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:21,638
All right. I hear you.

473
00:20:21,649 --> 00:20:26,130
I promise I will stay out of your
love life from this moment forward.

474
00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:27,150
Okay.

475
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,864
Okay. Thank you.

476
00:20:32,058 --> 00:20:34,062
Hey, Mr. Broadway.

477
00:20:34,073 --> 00:20:36,101
Hey, Nick. How was last night?

478
00:20:36,112 --> 00:20:37,937
From a career standpoint, great.

479
00:20:37,948 --> 00:20:40,858
From a relationship standpoint,
not so great.

480
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:43,439
What are you doing in 9M?

481
00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:45,209
Oh, just helping your
new neighbor move in.

482
00:20:45,220 --> 00:20:46,584
Oh! Hi.

483
00:20:46,595 --> 00:20:49,373
Any chance you love unpacking boxes?

484
00:20:49,383 --> 00:20:52,211
You're my new neighbor?

485
00:20:52,222 --> 00:20:54,546
Did I hear "new neighbor"?

486
00:20:54,556 --> 00:20:56,549
Oh, look at her, Josh.

487
00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:58,117
She's darling.

488
00:20:58,127 --> 00:21:00,119
Ask her if she's single.

489
00:21:00,129 --> 00:21:02,120
You just promised.

490
00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:05,123
Sweetheart, I am who I am.

491
00:21:05,133 --> 00:21:07,136
Hello, I'm Judy.

492
00:21:07,950 --> 00:21:10,763
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