1
00:00:03,211 --> 00:00:05,255
Oh, snaaaaaaaaap!
2
00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:08,299
Did Candice Singleton
just enter the car?
3
00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:10,010
Mom, stop. Ugh.
4
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:13,263
How was your day?
Did you get educated AF?
5
00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:14,514
Ugh...
6
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,392
Daaaamn.
7
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:20,729
Looks like somebody
stans baby carrots.
8
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:26,735
How's your squad?
Are they keeping it 100?
9
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:28,820
Ooh,
bedtime on fleek,
10
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,448
who wants to get turnt
with "Curious George"?
11
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,411
Ma'am, step away
from the door.
12
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:37,620
What are you doing,
Randy?
13
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,456
I'm protecting
the asset, ma'am.
14
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:41,624
Well, I'm the asset's
mother, so...
15
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,418
Do not test me, Emily!
16
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,545
I swear to God,
I will axe kick you
17
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:46,629
through that wall.
18
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,840
It'll be all like --
ahh!
19
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,383
Ow! Ooh!
20
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:08,860
The Vikings believed
this pendant granted wishes.
21
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:10,612
Cooool.
Cooool.
22
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:15,033
Emily, you have, uh,
something to sigh?
23
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:17,160
Candice has been giving me
the silent treatment all week.
24
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,870
She won't talk to me,
she won't tell me
25
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:19,913
what's going on at school.
26
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,164
She's just going
through a phase.
27
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,791
Emily, don't worry.
28
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:25,710
All kids push their parents away
when they're about to move out.
29
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,128
She's five.
30
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,631
Come on, let's get blackout
drunk, go on Amazon,
31
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:30,757
and see what
shows up tomorrow.
32
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,675
I call it
"Wine and Prime."
33
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,011
I just wish I was closer
to Candice.
34
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:44,813
Ah!
35
00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:49,776
Aah!
36
00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,737
The pendant!
37
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:55,198
Come on, Candice,
let's get you to the bus!
38
00:01:57,659 --> 00:02:00,453
Candice!
You can't be in my room.
39
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:04,290
Adult single man, little kid.
I-I-I-It's not a good look.
40
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:05,667
No, it's me, Emily!
41
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:06,835
Nice try.
42
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,461
Your mom and I might not
be that close,
43
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,630
but I know that she's the big
one and you're the little one.
44
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:11,631
No!
Wait!
45
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:12,757
I can prove it.
46
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,300
Last year I walked in
on you
47
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,344
using my hand mirror
to see your own butthole!
48
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,637
Emily?
49
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,222
You were on your mattress
50
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,682
with your legs
over your head --
51
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,726
Okay, okay.
Stop talking about it.
52
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,019
What happened
to you?!
53
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,855
I said I wished I was
closer to Candice,
54
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,898
and your stupid
Viking thingy shrunk me.
55
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:32,485
Ha! It made you closer
to Candice in size?
56
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,404
Hilarious.
57
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:35,488
How do I change back?
58
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:36,698
I don't know!
59
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,741
It's not my fault
you weren't more specific.
60
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:39,951
Just figure it out!
61
00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:41,661
You should've said
something like,
62
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:46,332
"I wish I was emotionally close
to my offspring."
63
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,042
Oh, shit.
64
00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:53,339
Hey.
65
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,592
Maybe I actually could get
closer to Candice.
66
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,648
Hey, Candi--
I mean,
67
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,275
cand I sit here?
68
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,694
That's what I meant. I just want
to put my tiny body on the seat
69
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:16,029
next to a fellow child.
70
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,906
Uh, sure. Thanks.
71
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:20,575
I was afraid I'd have to sit in
the back with the weird kids.
72
00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,870
Oookay.
73
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,955
My name's Candice.
What's yours?
74
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,957
It's Em--
uhhh...
75
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,918
Emma?
Yes!
76
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,044
Yes, Emma.
77
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,046
A normal name
for a normal girl.
78
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,049
Want to tell
each other secrets?
79
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,383
Uh, I don't know.
80
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:40,178
I'll go first.
I secretly love my mom.
81
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:43,514
She gives me baby carrots and I
appreciate everything about her.
82
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,141
Your turn.
83
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:48,186
I've got to go
sit over there now.
84
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,395
Sorry.
85
00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:55,401
Offspring?
Why did I say offspring?
86
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,402
Calm down.
87
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,737
You don't
have any offspring.
88
00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:59,906
Ah! The pendant can't make you
have kids.
89
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,241
Can it?
90
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,077
Going alllll the way
back to 1999.
91
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:08,581
It's The Offspring with
"Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)"!
92
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,000
Ugh, '90s rock. Ugh.
93
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,627
What the...?
No!
94
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:13,836
What are you doing?
95
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:14,921
Stop it!
96
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:20,718
I'm emotionally close
to The Offspring!
97
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,097
Uh, hello,
Mr. Campbell.
98
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,723
I'm --
99
00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:25,723
Great,
another new student.
100
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,934
Why don't you introduce yourself
while I make you
101
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,478
a chair out
of Amazon boxes?
102
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:35,608
Hi!
My name is Emma.
103
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,819
I'm five. Obviously.
104
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:40,113
And I like things
five-year-olds like.
105
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,865
I hate vaping.
And I love my mom.
106
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,200
Who doesn't
love moms?
107
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,618
You can talk to them
all day long.
108
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:48,329
This kid is obsessed
with moms!
109
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,499
You're losing them, Emily.
110
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:54,669
Huh?
Huuuh?
111
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:57,714
Hey, Cameron, this weird kid
is stealing your bit.
112
00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:00,091
Hey, weird kid,
stop stealing my bit!
113
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:01,634
Kids:
Booooooooo!
114
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:08,766
Are there any
tickets left?!
115
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:11,144
Hold on, let me check.
116
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,145
Yeah.
117
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,230
Oh. Okay,
give me a hundred! Wait!
118
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,356
Quatro, cinco,
cinco, seis.
119
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,649
Okay. Agh!
120
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,277
I just need one to get in,
is that right?
121
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,029
One. Okay,
I'll take one.
122
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:24,324
No, two so I can hang one on my
wall and keep one in my wallet.
123
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,575
Ooh, yeah.
124
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:28,077
Wow, you must, like,
really love The Offspring.
125
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,829
Just give me
the tickets!
126
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,668
Damn it!
127
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:36,836
Oh, no.
128
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:39,839
Too scared to throw rocks
at a beehive?
129
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,342
Jade Cartwright,
you stop it right now!
130
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,427
What do you want,
weird kid?
131
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:47,096
Talk about scared?
At the last PTA meeting,
132
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,182
your mother told me
you sleep with a night light.
133
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,601
And your dad's not
on a business trip.
134
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:54,604
He moved in
with his Pilates instructor.
135
00:05:58,608 --> 00:05:59,525
Are you okay?
136
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,944
You made Jade cry.
137
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,196
Wanna be my friend?
138
00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:42,735
And over there
is David Lin.
139
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,779
He's a third-grader.
We'll get married someday.
140
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,197
And that's my friend Maddie.
141
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,824
Jade used to be my friend.
142
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,784
Last week, she told me that
when a mommy and a daddy
143
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:52,412
love each other very much,
they touch butts together,
144
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,455
and then a baby falls
out of their butts.
145
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,332
You know that's not
how it works.
146
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,251
Ugh!
You sound like my mom.
147
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,879
I told her, and she told Jade's
mom, and Jade got in trouble,
148
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,256
which made her mad at me,
149
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,883
so I decided to stop
telling my mom stuff.
150
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,427
Uh...
That's the reason?
151
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,845
Reason for what?
152
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,221
Nothing.
Nothing.
153
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,306
BT-dubs are you gonna eat
your baby carrots?
154
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:15,017
'Cause I stan
baby carrots.
155
00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:19,564
Wait, my mom says,
"Stan baby carrots."
156
00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:24,777
Wait.
That's my mom's sweater!
157
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:25,945
Are you...
158
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,155
my mom?!
159
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:30,491
I'm sorry.
160
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:30,491
What is going on?!
161
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,452
Don't freak out!
I-I accidentally wished
162
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,078
on Alex's weird Viking thingy
163
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,538
and now we're
getting so close
164
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,874
and I just -- I really love
being your friend.
165
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:39,750
You were spying on me?!
166
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,133
I'm gonna go
make up with Jade
167
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,801
by throwing rocks
at that beehive!
168
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:49,969
Wait, please --
169
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,680
And I'm never
talking to you again!
170
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,475
Oh, cool.
I stan baby carrots, too.
171
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,482
You don't have
to do this!
172
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,025
Shut up,
weird kid!
173
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,568
Go ahead, Candice.
174
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:08,070
I'll forgive you if you
throw a rock at that beehive.
175
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,656
Okay, first of all,
that makes no sense.
176
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:14,327
And, Candice, bees are already
dying at an alarming rate.
177
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,329
You're not my mom.
178
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:19,040
Kids:
Ooooooooh!
179
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,126
Yes, I am.
180
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,336
Oooooooh!
181
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,171
Wait, what?
182
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,523
♪ But in his own mind,
he's the ♪
183
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,024
♪ He's the dopest trip ♪
184
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,400
♪ Give it to me, baby ♪
185
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,779
♪ Give it to me, baby ♪
186
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,948
Ah!
Don't give it to me.
187
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:54,033
Why do I know
all the lyrics?!
188
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,493
There's only one way out!
189
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,745
♪ Uno, dos, tres, quatro,
cinco, cinco -- ♪
190
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,381
I can't believe you got us
into this!
191
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,596
What --
What are you doing?
192
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,473
I'm being your mother.
193
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,190
♪ A player straight ♪
194
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,400
♪ You know
he really doesn't -- ♪
195
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,401
Sorry, Noodles.
196
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,236
How do I know
his name?
197
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,904
What? What?
198
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,614
You guys
don't understand.
199
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:36,826
There's only one way
to break this curse.
200
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,119
Huh?
201
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,415
You saved me.
202
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,417
That's what moms do.
203
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,210
I'm sorry I lied to you.
204
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:49,380
I just...
I wanted us to be...
205
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,340
close.
206
00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:51,340
Oh.
207
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,279
What?
208
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,615
Kids:
Whooooa!
209
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,955
I'm me!
210
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,875
Candice, I'll never betray
your confidence again.
211
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,835
I promise,
you can tell me anything.
212
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,463
Okay.
213
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,589
I can see your butt.
214
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,841
Oh God!
I'll see you at home!
215
00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:35,343
Whooaaa.
216
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:38,137
So, she really was
her mom.
217
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,890
Kids:
Oooooh!
218
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,144
Hey! You're back to normal?
How'd you do that?
219
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,479
I guess I learned my lesson
220
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,189
and, poof,
the curse was broken.
221
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:50,024
Cool, cool.
So, uh,
222
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:53,152
that's why smashing
the pendant didn't work.
223
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,528
Oh, well!
224
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:57,323
♪ ...own mind, he's the,
he's the dopest trip ♪
225
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,158
♪ Give it to me, baby ♪