1 00:00:01,018 --> 00:00:03,791 Woman: We are now arriving in Taipei, Taiwan. 2 00:00:04,648 --> 00:00:06,218 Purpose of your visit? 3 00:00:06,234 --> 00:00:08,801 Oh, it's a long story. [Chuckles] 4 00:00:08,887 --> 00:00:11,137 Basically, I've come to reconcile with my brother. 5 00:00:11,139 --> 00:00:13,100 See, our father could only send one of us to America, 6 00:00:13,124 --> 00:00:14,307 and it was me. 7 00:00:14,342 --> 00:00:17,610 But Gene said he was over it when he came to Orlando, 8 00:00:17,662 --> 00:00:19,745 and asked me to be best man at his wedding. 9 00:00:19,747 --> 00:00:22,598 Turns out, he wasn't over it, we got into a big fight, 10 00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:24,383 and he left me a note disinviting me, 11 00:00:24,419 --> 00:00:26,769 and stole our mother in the middle of the night instead. 12 00:00:26,888 --> 00:00:29,205 So even though I am not the one at fault, 13 00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:31,524 I've come to set an example for my boys 14 00:00:31,626 --> 00:00:34,610 and show them I'm the bigger man by burying the hatchet. 15 00:00:34,696 --> 00:00:36,996 I'll just write down you're visiting relatives. 16 00:00:37,081 --> 00:00:38,097 [Stamp thuds] 17 00:00:40,351 --> 00:00:41,450 I'm here on business. 18 00:00:41,502 --> 00:00:42,535 I need to get $200 back 19 00:00:42,670 --> 00:00:44,470 from my brother-in-law who wronged me. 20 00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:46,038 Great. We can just check that box. 21 00:00:46,124 --> 00:00:47,763 You have a box for that? 22 00:00:49,978 --> 00:00:51,961 I'm home. 23 00:00:52,275 --> 00:00:54,485 Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com 24 00:00:54,582 --> 00:00:55,615 ♪ Fresh off the boat ♪ 25 00:00:55,750 --> 00:00:57,283 ♪ I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ♪ 26 00:00:57,418 --> 00:00:59,452 ♪ If you don't know, homey, now you know ♪ 27 00:00:59,571 --> 00:01:00,753 ♪ Fresh off the boat ♪ 28 00:01:00,838 --> 00:01:03,172 ♪ Homey, you don't know where I come from ♪ 29 00:01:03,258 --> 00:01:04,674 ♪ But I know where I'm goin' ♪ 30 00:01:04,742 --> 00:01:07,376 ♪ I'm fresh off the boat ♪ 31 00:01:07,462 --> 00:01:09,011 ♪ 32 00:01:09,614 --> 00:01:12,315 Man, it's hot. Like a wet hot. 33 00:01:12,433 --> 00:01:15,134 Like the bathroom after Grandma takes a shower. 34 00:01:15,270 --> 00:01:17,470 I regret wearing jean shorts. 35 00:01:17,605 --> 00:01:19,805 Thick... it's a thick fabric. 36 00:01:20,642 --> 00:01:23,192 Jessica, your suitcase is so light. 37 00:01:23,311 --> 00:01:25,361 That's because it's empty. I'm buying everything 38 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,530 we need for the year at the night market... 39 00:01:27,649 --> 00:01:29,782 Back-to-school clothes, Christmas presents. 40 00:01:29,817 --> 00:01:31,734 I packed only the essentials. 41 00:01:31,819 --> 00:01:32,902 [Zipper opens] 42 00:01:33,988 --> 00:01:36,038 Evan, you don't need that. 43 00:01:36,157 --> 00:01:38,040 According to these pamphlets, I do. 44 00:01:38,159 --> 00:01:39,159 I went to our local AAA. 45 00:01:39,243 --> 00:01:41,160 These are things every tourist should know 46 00:01:41,245 --> 00:01:42,328 when visiting Taiwan. 47 00:01:42,463 --> 00:01:43,579 You're a member of AAA? 48 00:01:43,665 --> 00:01:45,414 I don't understand the question. 49 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:47,883 You're not tourists. You're home. 50 00:01:48,002 --> 00:01:49,468 But we've never been here. 51 00:01:49,554 --> 00:01:51,554 Doesn't matter. This is still your home. 52 00:01:51,639 --> 00:01:53,973 I'm so excited, I didn't sleep at all on the plane. 53 00:01:54,008 --> 00:01:55,508 I've got something for that. 54 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:57,259 How are you at swallowing caplets? 55 00:01:57,345 --> 00:01:59,562 Yo, my man, we need two stops. 56 00:01:59,681 --> 00:02:02,098 Dad, how do you say, "Yo, my man, we need two stops," 57 00:02:02,183 --> 00:02:03,099 in Mandarin? 58 00:02:03,184 --> 00:02:05,101 Why do you need to make two stops? 59 00:02:05,186 --> 00:02:07,214 I have to find a fax machine on our way to Uncle Gene's 60 00:02:07,238 --> 00:02:08,321 so I can fax Alison. 61 00:02:08,406 --> 00:02:09,446 She's going to the Kinko's 62 00:02:09,490 --> 00:02:11,157 near her dad's workplace every day. 63 00:02:11,192 --> 00:02:13,609 We're not stopping so you can fax your girlfriend. 64 00:02:13,695 --> 00:02:15,161 But what if we drift apart? 65 00:02:15,246 --> 00:02:16,362 We're only gone a week. 66 00:02:16,414 --> 00:02:18,414 Trust me. Nothing's going to change. 67 00:02:18,533 --> 00:02:20,916 Here. Baby Dramamine. 68 00:02:21,035 --> 00:02:22,675 Don't take while operating heavy homework. 69 00:02:22,754 --> 00:02:24,920 [Chuckling] It doesn't say that. 70 00:02:25,039 --> 00:02:28,090 ♪ 71 00:02:28,176 --> 00:02:30,209 [Door buzzer] 72 00:02:36,551 --> 00:02:38,371 Hi, Big Auntie. 73 00:02:39,887 --> 00:02:42,605 Boys, this is your big auntie. 74 00:02:42,724 --> 00:02:44,090 Hello, boys. 75 00:02:44,192 --> 00:02:46,892 $4 million! 76 00:02:47,895 --> 00:02:50,529 I learned English from Oda Mae Brown in "Ghost." 77 00:02:50,565 --> 00:02:52,627 - Best quality movie. - Mm. 78 00:02:52,690 --> 00:02:54,450 Come in, come in. [Chuckles] 79 00:02:54,569 --> 00:02:55,569 [Soft music playing] 80 00:02:55,636 --> 00:02:58,704 That's Big Uncle Otis. 81 00:02:58,806 --> 00:03:00,322 [Grunts] 82 00:03:00,408 --> 00:03:03,492 And my daughter Little Auntie. 83 00:03:03,578 --> 00:03:06,379 And her husband Uncle. 84 00:03:06,414 --> 00:03:08,381 And their son... Wei. 85 00:03:08,416 --> 00:03:10,883 Please call me by the English name I've chosen... 86 00:03:10,952 --> 00:03:13,969 Hennessy, because I'm smooth and always in the club. 87 00:03:14,088 --> 00:03:16,505 You're the first cousin I've ever met that I've liked. 88 00:03:17,308 --> 00:03:18,891 What kind of rap music are you into? 89 00:03:18,976 --> 00:03:21,594 With a name like Hennessy, it's got to be the hard stuff. 90 00:03:21,729 --> 00:03:23,062 I like Richard Marx. 91 00:03:23,097 --> 00:03:24,680 [Sighs] And there it go. 92 00:03:30,221 --> 00:03:31,737 Right away. [Chuckles nervously] 93 00:03:31,773 --> 00:03:33,823 Uh [Clear throat] where's Gene? 94 00:03:33,941 --> 00:03:35,825 Oh, at the wedding location, 95 00:03:35,943 --> 00:03:38,494 attending to last-minute details. 96 00:03:38,613 --> 00:03:41,497 So, Big Auntie, you're Grandma's younger sister? 97 00:03:41,616 --> 00:03:44,934 Mm. And she's still bossing me around. 98 00:03:47,622 --> 00:03:50,122 Emery, you're so handsome. 99 00:03:50,258 --> 00:03:52,291 Thanks, but what I find most important 100 00:03:52,427 --> 00:03:53,427 is inner beauty. 101 00:03:53,461 --> 00:03:55,161 Mm-hmm. At the wedding reception, 102 00:03:55,263 --> 00:03:57,246 I'll introduce you to my boss's daughter... 103 00:03:57,365 --> 00:03:58,631 Perfect match. 104 00:03:58,666 --> 00:04:01,033 I like your school uniform, Hennessy. 105 00:04:01,102 --> 00:04:04,587 It's funny because it's so close to my normal aesthetic, 106 00:04:04,672 --> 00:04:07,239 - but why are you wearing it? - What do you mean? 107 00:04:07,275 --> 00:04:09,625 It's summer... Summer vacation. 108 00:04:09,710 --> 00:04:12,695 I have no summer break. I have year-round school. 109 00:04:12,814 --> 00:04:14,330 ♪ 110 00:04:14,449 --> 00:04:17,099 It's like they read my wish journal. 111 00:04:17,218 --> 00:04:18,734 Can I borrow your car, Big Auntie. 112 00:04:18,853 --> 00:04:20,119 I have to go find Gene. 113 00:04:20,171 --> 00:04:21,587 Where is he getting married? 114 00:04:21,622 --> 00:04:23,222 The park? [Chuckles] 115 00:04:23,324 --> 00:04:25,191 The old cigarette factory? 116 00:04:27,378 --> 00:04:28,461 - [Brakes screech] - Oh! 117 00:04:28,513 --> 00:04:30,696 This is where he's getting married? 118 00:04:30,782 --> 00:04:34,767 ♪ 119 00:04:34,802 --> 00:04:37,670 - [Birds screeching] - Ooh, peacocks. 120 00:04:37,772 --> 00:04:41,557 "Built in 1973 to house visiting dignitaries, 121 00:04:41,642 --> 00:04:43,492 "the Grand Hotel has hosted such luminaries 122 00:04:43,578 --> 00:04:46,078 "as the Shah of Iran, Richard Nixon, 123 00:04:46,197 --> 00:04:47,596 "and Linda Ronstadt 124 00:04:47,682 --> 00:04:49,565 "during her famous 'Heart Like a Wheel' tour." 125 00:04:49,650 --> 00:04:52,251 Mm. [Chuckles] 126 00:04:52,386 --> 00:04:53,686 [Indistinct conversations] 127 00:04:59,260 --> 00:05:00,893 [Scribbling] 128 00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:32,608 I'm getting married here. 129 00:05:32,693 --> 00:05:34,677 Didn't you see the electronic scroll? 130 00:05:34,745 --> 00:05:38,397 I know. That's why we flew halfway across the world. 131 00:05:38,499 --> 00:05:39,598 Big deal! 132 00:05:39,634 --> 00:05:41,650 Probably had a bunch of miles and flew standby. 133 00:05:41,736 --> 00:05:42,736 Couldn't use them. 134 00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:45,504 Blackout dates. Had to pay full price. 135 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:48,440 [Gasps] 136 00:05:48,476 --> 00:05:50,543 So you had some layovers, then? 137 00:05:50,628 --> 00:05:52,962 Detroit? Tokyo? 138 00:05:53,047 --> 00:05:55,297 - We flew direct. - [Gasps] 139 00:05:59,070 --> 00:06:00,386 Economy? 140 00:06:00,521 --> 00:06:02,521 - Plus. - [Gasps] 141 00:06:04,792 --> 00:06:06,842 Even paid $4.99 for headphones. 142 00:06:06,978 --> 00:06:07,893 What was the in-flight movie? 143 00:06:07,979 --> 00:06:09,962 "The Truth About Cats and Dogs." 144 00:06:10,064 --> 00:06:10,896 [Gasps] 145 00:06:11,032 --> 00:06:13,232 ♪ 146 00:06:13,334 --> 00:06:15,668 [Sobbing] You spent so much. 147 00:06:15,753 --> 00:06:16,852 So much! 148 00:06:16,971 --> 00:06:18,749 Let's finally put the past behind us, brother. 149 00:06:18,773 --> 00:06:21,207 I'm honored to have you as my best man. 150 00:06:21,259 --> 00:06:22,424 Well, I'm glad we came. 151 00:06:22,510 --> 00:06:25,477 What a great moment. We're all so happy. 152 00:06:25,613 --> 00:06:26,478 [Both chuckle] 153 00:06:26,564 --> 00:06:29,048 Oh, there is so much to tell you. 154 00:06:29,133 --> 00:06:30,549 Tomorrow, the whole wedding party 155 00:06:30,585 --> 00:06:32,201 is taking pictures in [Money crinkles] 156 00:06:32,584 --> 00:06:34,230 I'm sorry. Uh, that's my wallet. 157 00:06:34,255 --> 00:06:35,554 You owe me $200. 158 00:06:35,590 --> 00:06:37,606 Oh, that's a lot more than $200. 159 00:06:37,692 --> 00:06:40,960 Give up the dance, Gene. The song is over. 160 00:06:42,096 --> 00:06:43,345 - Hello. - Hi. 161 00:06:43,381 --> 00:06:45,325 Where's your business center? I need to send a fax. 162 00:06:45,349 --> 00:06:46,382 Unfortunately, 163 00:06:46,450 --> 00:06:48,884 no children are allowed in the business center. 164 00:06:49,003 --> 00:06:52,021 How about now? 165 00:06:52,106 --> 00:06:54,256 This is three U.S. dollars. 166 00:06:54,375 --> 00:06:57,843 So, is that a lot to you... 167 00:06:57,979 --> 00:06:59,528 or not a lot? 168 00:06:59,614 --> 00:07:01,041 - Really impressive, Gene. - [Chuckles] 169 00:07:01,065 --> 00:07:02,065 How did you swing it? 170 00:07:02,116 --> 00:07:03,999 Oh, Margaret's cousin knows a manager, 171 00:07:04,085 --> 00:07:05,517 so we got a deal. 172 00:07:05,553 --> 00:07:08,687 So, uh, where's this Margaret I've heard so much about? 173 00:07:08,823 --> 00:07:09,943 She's working at the temple. 174 00:07:10,378 --> 00:07:13,509 Ohh. Her wages are God's love. 175 00:07:13,594 --> 00:07:17,613 [Traditional music playing] 176 00:07:25,597 --> 00:07:28,415 [Rock music plays] 177 00:07:28,509 --> 00:07:30,175 [Bang!] 178 00:07:30,227 --> 00:07:31,393 [Screaming] 179 00:07:31,495 --> 00:07:33,145 [Distorted screaming] 180 00:07:33,281 --> 00:07:35,648 [Whip, whip, whip!] 181 00:07:35,733 --> 00:07:36,649 Man: Cut! 182 00:07:36,734 --> 00:07:38,000 [Bell rings] 183 00:07:38,085 --> 00:07:39,251 [Music stops] 184 00:07:39,337 --> 00:07:42,171 Can you tell the bear that I need more mischief? 185 00:07:42,256 --> 00:07:44,223 I will tell him again. 186 00:07:44,358 --> 00:07:46,275 Oh, there she is. 187 00:07:46,394 --> 00:07:47,943 That's my Margaret. 188 00:07:48,062 --> 00:07:49,728 Oh, oh. 189 00:07:51,565 --> 00:07:54,199 So nice to meet you, Margaret. 190 00:07:54,235 --> 00:07:56,485 - You're very strong. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 191 00:07:56,570 --> 00:07:59,538 - This is Margaret, my fiancée. - Oh, babe. 192 00:07:59,623 --> 00:08:02,074 - Mm. [Chuckles] - Hi, Louis. 193 00:08:02,209 --> 00:08:04,243 It's an honor. 194 00:08:04,378 --> 00:08:06,078 I've heard so much about you. 195 00:08:06,213 --> 00:08:08,580 Ohh. 196 00:08:08,716 --> 00:08:10,749 No, no, no, no, no. [Chuckles] 197 00:08:10,885 --> 00:08:14,003 - This is your fiancée? - Mm-hmm. 198 00:08:14,088 --> 00:08:15,504 [Laughing] No! No, no. 199 00:08:15,589 --> 00:08:16,638 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 200 00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:17,757 You love him? 201 00:08:17,892 --> 00:08:18,974 Mm-hmm. 202 00:08:19,093 --> 00:08:21,643 No, no, no, no! 203 00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:23,729 No! 204 00:08:29,329 --> 00:08:31,101 I forgot how relaxing it is 205 00:08:31,149 --> 00:08:33,199 being around all Asian people. 206 00:08:33,285 --> 00:08:35,335 You don't feel like a foreigner. 207 00:08:35,437 --> 00:08:38,354 You blend in with everyone around you. 208 00:08:38,490 --> 00:08:40,623 Who are you? 209 00:08:40,709 --> 00:08:42,108 Evan! 210 00:08:42,227 --> 00:08:45,545 ♪ 211 00:08:45,664 --> 00:08:48,515 [Groans] 212 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:49,783 You know what? 213 00:08:49,868 --> 00:08:52,051 It would be okay if you were lost here, Evan. 214 00:08:52,154 --> 00:08:54,254 There are no pedophiles in Taiwan. 215 00:08:54,339 --> 00:08:56,689 People are too busy getting things done 216 00:08:56,775 --> 00:08:58,508 to have time for any hobbies. 217 00:08:58,543 --> 00:09:00,260 Mom, are we almost there yet? I'm starving. 218 00:09:00,345 --> 00:09:02,245 Yes, we are almost there. 219 00:09:02,347 --> 00:09:05,532 I'm so excited to take you to my favorite place. 220 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,934 They only serve swordfish soup. 221 00:09:08,053 --> 00:09:09,736 But it's 1,000 degrees out. 222 00:09:09,821 --> 00:09:12,305 So the soup will cool you off. 223 00:09:12,390 --> 00:09:14,974 According to my pamphlets, it's prime biting hour. 224 00:09:15,060 --> 00:09:16,776 And according to Emery's face. 225 00:09:16,862 --> 00:09:18,142 I guess I just have sweet blood. 226 00:09:18,213 --> 00:09:22,499 Okay, no sweet blood, no pamphlets, no complaining. 227 00:09:22,534 --> 00:09:24,768 You guys need to toughen up. 228 00:09:24,803 --> 00:09:28,188 Stop being soft American eggs and start being 229 00:09:28,273 --> 00:09:31,558 thousand-year-old Taiwanese eggs. 230 00:09:31,676 --> 00:09:33,943 Ah, here we are. 231 00:09:44,723 --> 00:09:46,072 Oh. [Chuckles] 232 00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:50,634 See, it's so nice to be someplace where you have history. 233 00:09:58,336 --> 00:10:00,737 What was that?! I heard a reference to Mickey D's! 234 00:10:00,822 --> 00:10:02,138 Nuggets! 235 00:10:02,207 --> 00:10:03,973 Woman: May I use your pen? 236 00:10:04,042 --> 00:10:06,254 Gene: Yeah, well, so, Margaret does a lot of commercials, 237 00:10:06,278 --> 00:10:07,777 a ton of print work. 238 00:10:07,913 --> 00:10:09,929 And I'm also the voice of Little Tum-Tum 239 00:10:09,998 --> 00:10:13,049 in the cartoon "Here Comes Tum-Tum." 240 00:10:13,084 --> 00:10:15,101 - Mm. - I don't know what that is. 241 00:10:15,187 --> 00:10:17,821 But I can tell you right now, I love it. 242 00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:19,639 Aren't they sweet? 243 00:10:19,741 --> 00:10:21,441 I haven't seen a couple this in love 244 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,226 since Molly and Sam. 245 00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:24,244 You know, from... 246 00:10:24,329 --> 00:10:25,795 From "Ghost." We know. 247 00:10:25,931 --> 00:10:28,898 So, you... love him? 248 00:10:28,984 --> 00:10:30,333 [Margaret sighs] 249 00:10:30,418 --> 00:10:33,353 From the first moment I saw him in the acting class. 250 00:10:33,421 --> 00:10:35,471 We had to act out a scene where we hated each other. 251 00:10:35,540 --> 00:10:36,856 [Scoffs] 252 00:10:37,626 --> 00:10:38,942 We couldn't do it. 253 00:10:47,419 --> 00:10:51,154 - [Speaking Mandarin] - You boys must be starving. 254 00:10:51,223 --> 00:10:54,424 We heard about your failure today at the soup place, Jessica. 255 00:10:54,426 --> 00:10:56,359 Everyone knows Mr. Deng. 256 00:10:58,547 --> 00:10:59,963 Well... 257 00:10:59,998 --> 00:11:02,599 I guess it's gotten more gossipy around here. 258 00:11:02,651 --> 00:11:03,651 It was fine. 259 00:11:03,685 --> 00:11:05,952 We had a great lunch at another place. 260 00:11:06,037 --> 00:11:07,971 McDonald's. We had McRibs. 261 00:11:08,056 --> 00:11:11,741 You had Taiwanese McRibs. 262 00:11:11,826 --> 00:11:13,543 I'm gonna write another fax to Alison. 263 00:11:13,645 --> 00:11:15,311 She hasn't heard from me in two days. 264 00:11:15,447 --> 00:11:18,081 Eddie, I told you, nothing's gonna happen while we're gone. 265 00:11:18,116 --> 00:11:20,850 Mom, every day Alison goes to Kinko's 266 00:11:20,886 --> 00:11:23,102 and there's no fax waiting for her is a bad day. 267 00:11:23,221 --> 00:11:25,207 Because you know what is waiting for her? 268 00:11:25,232 --> 00:11:27,056 - Hmm? - The dude that works there, 269 00:11:27,142 --> 00:11:28,142 sliding in on my girl 270 00:11:28,176 --> 00:11:29,993 with open arms and a shiny name tag, 271 00:11:30,128 --> 00:11:31,261 creeping on her loneliness. 272 00:11:31,363 --> 00:11:33,730 Those guys clean up. 273 00:11:33,798 --> 00:11:35,726 That's why you work at Kinko's in the first place. 274 00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:36,766 Because you're shady. 275 00:11:36,835 --> 00:11:38,735 "Oh, your boyfriend hasn't faxed you? 276 00:11:38,803 --> 00:11:41,237 "I'll fax you every hour. I'll fax you right now. 277 00:11:41,273 --> 00:11:44,424 "To... Sad Pretty Girl, Sorry you have a bad boyfriend. 278 00:11:44,492 --> 00:11:46,726 "From... Dwayne, who cares. 279 00:11:46,795 --> 00:11:51,030 "Total number of pages, including this one... one." 280 00:11:53,618 --> 00:11:54,968 - Well... - Okay, mm. 281 00:11:55,053 --> 00:11:56,469 We better get home. 282 00:11:56,554 --> 00:11:58,121 Yeah, well, tomorrow's picture day. 283 00:11:58,206 --> 00:11:59,422 We got to look our best. 284 00:11:59,457 --> 00:12:00,590 Wait. "Get home"? 285 00:12:00,675 --> 00:12:02,308 Yeah, we live upstairs. 286 00:12:02,394 --> 00:12:03,610 ♪ Yeah ♪ 287 00:12:03,728 --> 00:12:05,078 Jessica: Oh. 288 00:12:05,196 --> 00:12:06,613 ♪ 289 00:12:06,698 --> 00:12:09,632 This is your apartment? [Chuckles] No. 290 00:12:10,002 --> 00:12:12,401 Yo, it's way nicer than our house. 291 00:12:12,426 --> 00:12:14,242 This is like Shaq-level nice. 292 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,723 Brand-new floors, vaulted ceilings, 293 00:12:16,808 --> 00:12:18,141 wrap-around windows. 294 00:12:18,193 --> 00:12:19,759 - Toilet style? - Western. 295 00:12:19,861 --> 00:12:20,743 [Whistles] 296 00:12:20,879 --> 00:12:22,211 Yeah, Margaret and I bought it 297 00:12:22,347 --> 00:12:24,108 and gave the downstairs apartment to Big Auntie. 298 00:12:24,132 --> 00:12:26,916 Yeah, we got a good deal. Her aunt knows a guy. 299 00:12:26,952 --> 00:12:29,969 Dad, are we poor? 300 00:12:30,055 --> 00:12:31,938 What?! [Chuckles] 301 00:12:32,057 --> 00:12:33,489 No, of course not. 302 00:12:33,541 --> 00:12:36,209 American middle class is like Taiwan rich, so... 303 00:12:36,294 --> 00:12:38,378 I'd rather be Taiwan rich. 304 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,096 [Chuckles] 305 00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:45,335 ♪ 306 00:12:45,437 --> 00:12:47,337 [Camera shutter clicking] 307 00:12:47,472 --> 00:12:48,721 Okay, everyone. 308 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,691 Time to write your good-luck wishes to the happy couple 309 00:12:51,810 --> 00:12:56,579 on paper lanterns and send them into the sky. 310 00:12:59,284 --> 00:13:00,366 Aww. 311 00:13:00,452 --> 00:13:02,018 "Wishing you a lifetime of only misery, 312 00:13:02,087 --> 00:13:03,670 "you ass pimple." 313 00:13:03,755 --> 00:13:05,399 What?! Don't send that up! I'm sending it up! 314 00:13:05,423 --> 00:13:06,663 No, do not send that to heaven! 315 00:13:06,725 --> 00:13:08,007 You want Grandma to read that? 316 00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,767 - No, no, no, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no, no. 317 00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,450 - No, no, no, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no, no. 318 00:13:12,474 --> 00:13:13,390 - No! - No! 319 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,343 - N-No! - No. No. 320 00:13:15,429 --> 00:13:16,429 No! No! 321 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:17,463 - No! - No! 322 00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:20,965 I can't believe you would hold on 323 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,551 to your stupid grudge about me going to America 324 00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:25,770 when you got this amazing life here. 325 00:13:25,856 --> 00:13:27,555 Hey, you were the one who chose to leave. 326 00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:29,724 I know! That's why I'm so mad! 327 00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:32,193 Why did I have to make it harder on myself 328 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,945 and start over in America? 329 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,064 I was already started here! 330 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:39,234 We're the white people of here! 331 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,319 [Sighs] 332 00:13:44,843 --> 00:13:47,108 Hello, old friend. 333 00:13:47,312 --> 00:13:49,329 I've missed you. 334 00:13:49,414 --> 00:13:51,731 Fax? Fax machine? 335 00:13:51,850 --> 00:13:53,533 [Sighs] 336 00:13:53,635 --> 00:13:56,302 Dude, you are getting destroyed by mosquitoes. 337 00:13:56,388 --> 00:13:57,620 I've tried everything. 338 00:13:57,722 --> 00:14:00,173 I've even quit using all my hair products, 339 00:14:00,258 --> 00:14:02,775 but they just can't stop giving me kisses. 340 00:14:02,861 --> 00:14:05,261 I have to get Otis his herbs. 341 00:14:05,297 --> 00:14:06,813 Will you be okay on your own? 342 00:14:06,881 --> 00:14:09,632 Please. I'm in my element. 343 00:14:11,269 --> 00:14:12,935 Do you take traveler's checks? 344 00:14:13,038 --> 00:14:13,920 Uh... 345 00:14:14,005 --> 00:14:17,106 [Conversing in Mandarin] 346 00:14:17,242 --> 00:14:18,124 Where are we going? 347 00:14:18,226 --> 00:14:19,592 Don't worry. She'll stop us. 348 00:14:19,711 --> 00:14:21,244 - But she's not. - She will. 349 00:14:21,346 --> 00:14:22,395 But she isn't. 350 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:23,646 Is she looking at us? 351 00:14:23,732 --> 00:14:26,883 No, she's selling the pencil box to another customer. 352 00:14:26,918 --> 00:14:28,996 That's a plan. That's her sister. We're not gonna fall for that. 353 00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:31,432 - [Engine revs, horn honks] - Well, her sister just got on a scooter 354 00:14:31,456 --> 00:14:32,422 and rode away. 355 00:14:32,474 --> 00:14:34,273 She'll be back. She's doing a loop. 356 00:14:34,392 --> 00:14:35,458 [Sighs] 357 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,344 ♪ 358 00:14:38,446 --> 00:14:39,395 Whoa. 359 00:14:39,447 --> 00:14:41,164 The new '96 Air Jordan Elevens. 360 00:14:41,216 --> 00:14:42,298 ♪ Yeah ♪ 361 00:14:42,350 --> 00:14:44,233 You want these basketball heels? 362 00:14:45,537 --> 00:14:48,738 [Conversing in Mandarin] 363 00:14:49,657 --> 00:14:51,808 I know how this ends, Eddie. 364 00:14:51,843 --> 00:14:54,193 If you want to squeeze my hand for support... 365 00:14:54,295 --> 00:14:55,578 The hell? 366 00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:56,763 I got a great deal. 367 00:14:56,848 --> 00:14:58,648 Moms! Thank you! 368 00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:00,750 So what if I can't fax Alison? 369 00:15:00,802 --> 00:15:03,319 Once she sees me in these, she's mine forever! 370 00:15:03,355 --> 00:15:06,639 [Westside Connection's "Bow Down" plays] 371 00:15:08,576 --> 00:15:10,993 ♪ The world is mine, yeah, get back ♪ 372 00:15:11,062 --> 00:15:13,496 ♪ Don't mess with my stack, the gage is racked ♪ 373 00:15:13,548 --> 00:15:16,132 ♪ Bow down before I make a phone call ♪ 374 00:15:16,201 --> 00:15:18,184 ♪ Got 25 killers running up on y'all ♪ 375 00:15:18,269 --> 00:15:19,369 ♪ For the cheese ♪ 376 00:15:19,404 --> 00:15:20,453 ♪ We want them keys ♪ 377 00:15:20,555 --> 00:15:22,305 ♪ Everybody freeze, on you knees ♪ 378 00:15:22,424 --> 00:15:23,656 ♪ Butt-naked, please ♪ 379 00:15:23,691 --> 00:15:25,675 ♪ Bow down ♪ ♪ When I come to your town ♪ 380 00:15:25,677 --> 00:15:28,528 ♪ Bow down ♪ ♪ When I'm westward bound ♪ 381 00:15:28,613 --> 00:15:31,180 ♪ Bow down ♪ ♪ 'Cause I ain't a hater like you ♪ 382 00:15:31,216 --> 00:15:33,449 ♪ Bow down to a killer that's greater than you ♪ 383 00:15:33,485 --> 00:15:35,802 ♪ Bow down ♪ 384 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:37,053 ♪ Bow down ♪ 385 00:15:38,189 --> 00:15:39,205 Eddie! 386 00:15:39,290 --> 00:15:40,706 Your shoes. 387 00:15:40,809 --> 00:15:43,159 What?! No! 388 00:15:43,261 --> 00:15:44,761 [Big Auntie groans] 389 00:15:44,846 --> 00:15:47,780 You bought the bad fakes instead of the good fakes. 390 00:15:47,866 --> 00:15:49,082 Never buy in-store. 391 00:15:49,167 --> 00:15:52,568 Always go to second location for good quality. 392 00:15:52,637 --> 00:15:55,138 I forget there's always a second location. 393 00:15:55,206 --> 00:15:58,858 Your negotiating muscle has atrophied. 394 00:16:00,178 --> 00:16:02,061 ♪ 395 00:16:02,130 --> 00:16:04,530 [Indistinct conversations] 396 00:16:08,253 --> 00:16:10,119 This is way nicer than our wedding. 397 00:16:10,188 --> 00:16:11,587 We got married at City Hall 398 00:16:11,623 --> 00:16:13,589 and had our reception at a car dealership. 399 00:16:13,725 --> 00:16:14,740 [Sighs] Just be happy 400 00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,709 you guys got to give love a chance. 401 00:16:16,778 --> 00:16:19,095 My horse got shot at the starting gate. 402 00:16:21,116 --> 00:16:22,698 Emery, this is my boss's daughter 403 00:16:22,834 --> 00:16:23,666 I was telling you... [Gasps] 404 00:16:23,802 --> 00:16:24,934 [Screams] 405 00:16:26,154 --> 00:16:27,487 Nice meeting you! 406 00:16:27,572 --> 00:16:29,422 I love that there's year-around school here. 407 00:16:29,507 --> 00:16:31,324 It'd be great to stay for the whole summer, 408 00:16:31,443 --> 00:16:34,093 go back to Orlando, skip a grade, 409 00:16:34,179 --> 00:16:35,611 and lap Eddie before he knows it. 410 00:16:35,647 --> 00:16:38,197 Why don't you go in with Hennessy tomorrow? 411 00:16:38,266 --> 00:16:40,516 Sit in on his class, see what you think? 412 00:16:40,602 --> 00:16:42,368 Yes, girl. Yes. 413 00:16:42,437 --> 00:16:45,138 [Glass clinks] Hello, everyone. Thanks for coming. 414 00:16:45,223 --> 00:16:47,323 Uh, my brother was supposed to give a speech, 415 00:16:47,325 --> 00:16:49,405 but he's proven unable to present a positive message. 416 00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:55,145 So, instead, I will introduce our wedding video myself. 417 00:16:55,170 --> 00:17:00,097 Please enjoy the story of how Margaret and I met and fell in love. 418 00:17:00,443 --> 00:17:01,458 [Applause] 419 00:17:01,577 --> 00:17:04,407 ♪ Oh, my love ♪ 420 00:17:04,477 --> 00:17:06,594 This is my acting class. 421 00:17:06,696 --> 00:17:07,762 [Gasps] 422 00:17:07,881 --> 00:17:10,042 - There's my husband. - ♪ My darling ♪ 423 00:17:11,402 --> 00:17:13,634 ♪ I've hungered for ♪ 424 00:17:13,753 --> 00:17:14,685 [Groans] 425 00:17:14,738 --> 00:17:16,270 - [Gasps] - Are you okay?! 426 00:17:16,356 --> 00:17:17,438 I think so. 427 00:17:17,507 --> 00:17:19,173 This is how they met? 428 00:17:19,242 --> 00:17:23,644 - ♪ So much, are you ♪ - Ge-e-e-ne! 429 00:17:23,731 --> 00:17:25,851 [Voice breaking] Why can't you see me? 430 00:17:25,876 --> 00:17:27,566 - ♪ Still mine? ♪ - Margaret. 431 00:17:27,668 --> 00:17:29,435 You in danger, girl. 432 00:17:31,756 --> 00:17:36,325 ♪ I need your love ♪ 433 00:17:36,427 --> 00:17:40,212 Our love knows no bounds. We are both ghosts, now and forever. 434 00:17:40,297 --> 00:17:42,347 ♪ 435 00:17:45,169 --> 00:17:46,718 [Music ends] 436 00:17:46,771 --> 00:17:48,904 [Cheers and applause] 437 00:17:50,124 --> 00:17:51,707 [Sobbing] 438 00:17:55,042 --> 00:17:56,525 I'm sorry, Jessica. 439 00:17:56,550 --> 00:17:58,566 Why was the pot already painted? 440 00:17:58,602 --> 00:18:00,235 I'm sorry I couldn't give you a life 441 00:18:00,337 --> 00:18:02,120 like the one Gene and Margaret have here. 442 00:18:02,189 --> 00:18:04,355 What are you talking about? 443 00:18:04,441 --> 00:18:05,490 [Sighs] 444 00:18:05,575 --> 00:18:07,675 You've always said how much you missed Taiwan. 445 00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:09,911 Maybe we should move back. Things would be easier. 446 00:18:10,013 --> 00:18:11,212 No, they wouldn't. 447 00:18:11,281 --> 00:18:14,182 It's hot, crowded, there's mosquitoes... 448 00:18:14,217 --> 00:18:16,184 a sick obsession with the movie "Ghost." 449 00:18:16,236 --> 00:18:19,087 Everybody here knows everybody else's business. 450 00:18:19,189 --> 00:18:20,088 [Sighs] 451 00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:21,840 Even shopping at the night market 452 00:18:21,958 --> 00:18:24,509 isn't as fun as I remembered. 453 00:18:24,544 --> 00:18:26,739 You're just upset because of what happened with Eddie's sneakers. 454 00:18:26,763 --> 00:18:28,463 No, that's not it. 455 00:18:28,565 --> 00:18:31,232 I know I've been saying how different things are here, 456 00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:32,762 how they've changed, but it's not true. 457 00:18:32,786 --> 00:18:36,104 They're the same. I'm the one who has changed. 458 00:18:36,239 --> 00:18:38,189 And I'm homesick for Orlando. 459 00:18:39,509 --> 00:18:41,309 You know what I miss? 460 00:18:41,394 --> 00:18:43,945 Bagels. I want a bagel. 461 00:18:44,014 --> 00:18:45,880 I didn't even think I liked bagels, 462 00:18:45,982 --> 00:18:48,166 but I want a bagel. 463 00:18:48,285 --> 00:18:50,635 [Chuckles] Well, I still think 464 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,604 we'd be able to afford a better life in Taiwan. 465 00:18:52,689 --> 00:18:54,609 Through shortcuts and connections, yes. 466 00:18:54,641 --> 00:18:56,552 But you have worked hard for everything you have. 467 00:18:56,576 --> 00:18:59,130 You've earned it. No one's given you anything. 468 00:19:00,197 --> 00:19:02,547 We did it, Louis. 469 00:19:02,616 --> 00:19:06,467 We moved to America, and we made it. 470 00:19:06,536 --> 00:19:08,436 We are the success story. 471 00:19:08,555 --> 00:19:10,405 I guess we are. 472 00:19:10,457 --> 00:19:12,373 I mean, we did fly economy plus. 473 00:19:12,425 --> 00:19:14,809 Besides, no one loves America more than you. 474 00:19:14,861 --> 00:19:16,244 As soon as we moved back here, 475 00:19:16,346 --> 00:19:17,679 you would miss it over there. 476 00:19:17,764 --> 00:19:19,130 And as soon as we go back there, 477 00:19:19,216 --> 00:19:20,698 you know you're gonna miss it here. 478 00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:23,451 Well, maybe we'll never feel completely at home 479 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:24,769 in either place. 480 00:19:26,273 --> 00:19:28,306 Oh, my God. 481 00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:30,041 We are "Ghost." 482 00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:33,361 We are Patrick Swayze in "Ghost." 483 00:19:33,496 --> 00:19:35,997 Stuck between two worlds, part of both, 484 00:19:36,099 --> 00:19:37,615 belonging to neither. 485 00:19:37,701 --> 00:19:40,401 Damn it. 486 00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:42,937 It is the best movie ever. 487 00:19:42,939 --> 00:19:44,289 Mm-hmm. 488 00:19:44,374 --> 00:19:45,574 - [Door buzzer] - [Horn honks] 489 00:19:47,210 --> 00:19:51,396 Hey. I am so sorry for how I behaved, Gene. 490 00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:53,064 I really am happy for you, 491 00:19:53,149 --> 00:19:56,668 for the life you've made here for yourself. 492 00:19:58,889 --> 00:20:03,741 "Wishing you a lifetime of only... happiness." 493 00:20:03,843 --> 00:20:05,171 [Chuckles] That's what I thought 494 00:20:05,195 --> 00:20:07,078 it was gonna say the first time. 495 00:20:07,197 --> 00:20:08,746 That's why I was so shocked. 496 00:20:08,832 --> 00:20:11,049 Well, I'm glad I got to be here for your special day. 497 00:20:11,167 --> 00:20:12,884 Me, too. We shouldn't wait another 10 years 498 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:14,302 before we see each other again. 499 00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:15,982 Well, I have a flight through Orlando next week. 500 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,589 That's a little too soon. 501 00:20:17,674 --> 00:20:19,057 Ready to head to the airport? 502 00:20:19,175 --> 00:20:20,925 We're not leaving until tomorrow. 503 00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:22,655 I still think we should head out now, though. 504 00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:23,719 I thought you were excited 505 00:20:23,780 --> 00:20:25,358 to spend the day with Hennessy at school. 506 00:20:25,382 --> 00:20:27,231 I was. 507 00:20:27,334 --> 00:20:30,670 Who can tell me what the Pythagorean theorem is? 508 00:20:31,545 --> 00:20:33,421 The square of the hypotenuse is equal 509 00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:36,457 to the sum of the squares of the other two sides. 510 00:20:36,576 --> 00:20:39,444 - [Smack!] - [Gasps] 511 00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:41,329 But that was the right answer. 512 00:20:41,364 --> 00:20:43,948 I know, but I didn't say it loud enough. 513 00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:47,952 I am an American citizen. Please take me to my embassy. 514 00:20:47,977 --> 00:20:50,995 I'll go get us a cab. 515 00:20:53,479 --> 00:20:55,236 Jessica: Ahh! 516 00:20:55,276 --> 00:20:56,658 Ahh! 517 00:20:56,737 --> 00:20:58,437 It's so nice and cool in here. 518 00:20:58,572 --> 00:21:00,356 Feels good to be home, doesn't it? 519 00:21:00,441 --> 00:21:03,158 Wait. Who the hell left the A.C. on?! 520 00:21:04,412 --> 00:21:06,662 Come back, outer beauty! 521 00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:09,081 Alison: Hey. 522 00:21:09,166 --> 00:21:10,916 Eddie. 523 00:21:11,001 --> 00:21:12,084 It's over. 524 00:21:12,203 --> 00:21:13,419 Alison, I swear. 525 00:21:13,521 --> 00:21:14,970 I tried to fax you every day, 526 00:21:15,122 --> 00:21:17,189 but I couldn't find a fax machine and so... 527 00:21:17,258 --> 00:21:18,457 Oh, it's fine. 528 00:21:18,592 --> 00:21:20,070 I figured something like that happened. 529 00:21:20,094 --> 00:21:22,212 - No big deal. - Really? 530 00:21:22,296 --> 00:21:23,962 Then what did you mean by "It's over"? 531 00:21:24,048 --> 00:21:25,631 [Sighs] 532 00:21:29,906 --> 00:21:34,156 Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com