1 00:01:25,610 --> 00:01:31,490 O great American multitude, and sports fans everywhere. 2 00:01:31,570 --> 00:01:36,450 Today we inaugurate the 20th annual Transcontinental Road Race. 3 00:01:36,570 --> 00:01:40,770 Today the five bravest young men and women 4 00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:43,650 in this bravest of nations 5 00:01:43,730 --> 00:01:45,290 will risk their lives 6 00:01:45,370 --> 00:01:49,210 in the greatest sporting event since the days of Spartacus. 7 00:01:49,290 --> 00:01:54,290 Three days hence, a new American champion will be crowned, 8 00:01:54,410 --> 00:01:58,210 for all the world to behold in awe, 9 00:01:58,310 --> 00:01:59,850 in respect, 10 00:01:59,970 --> 00:02:01,490 in fear. 11 00:02:01,570 --> 00:02:06,770 All right, all right. This is Junior Bruce, your buddy-buddy and mine. 12 00:02:06,850 --> 00:02:10,010 And I'll be giving you the blow-by-blow play-by-play 13 00:02:10,110 --> 00:02:14,330 when the kings and queens of the open road roar onto the track. 14 00:02:14,450 --> 00:02:16,850 Do I hear the sound of engines? 15 00:02:16,930 --> 00:02:20,570 It's "Calamity" Jane Kelly, queen of the road, 16 00:02:20,650 --> 00:02:24,010 at the wheel of that mean old ornery stud Bull. 17 00:02:27,770 --> 00:02:31,010 Zany Janie, winner of this year's trials at Watkins Glen, 18 00:02:31,130 --> 00:02:33,050 placed second in 1998 19 00:02:33,150 --> 00:02:37,250 and led at last year's second lap until she went out with gear trouble. 20 00:02:37,370 --> 00:02:41,770 Her fans and lovers everywhere wish Janie better luck this year. 21 00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:43,970 My fans can wish me all the luck they want. 22 00:02:44,050 --> 00:02:47,410 If my luck with my lovers gets any better, I'll miss the race completely. 23 00:02:47,530 --> 00:02:50,210 Isn't that right, Pete? 24 00:02:50,290 --> 00:02:53,290 With the start of the race only a heartthrob away, 25 00:02:53,370 --> 00:02:56,650 this is Grace Pander on the spot - as usual - 26 00:02:56,730 --> 00:02:59,690 to welcome the greatest racer of all time, 27 00:02:59,790 --> 00:03:02,770 and a very dear friend of mine. 28 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:07,850 Yes, in just a moment he will be coming through the doors! 29 00:03:13,890 --> 00:03:15,810 There is no cause for alarm. 30 00:03:15,890 --> 00:03:19,730 The patient has been flown in from abroad in a state of suspended animation 31 00:03:19,830 --> 00:03:23,850 in order to facilitate the healing of his recent limb transplants. 32 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:27,210 He should be coming around any moment now. 33 00:03:29,890 --> 00:03:32,770 Oh, my... I don't believe it! 34 00:03:37,770 --> 00:03:42,490 Frankenstein, can you give me an exclusive? How are things abroad? 35 00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:45,810 How is Mr. President? Is he still in Moscow? 36 00:03:45,930 --> 00:03:51,690 Mr. President is in his summer palace in Peking. 37 00:03:51,770 --> 00:03:53,490 He loves everybody. 38 00:03:53,610 --> 00:03:56,090 And everybody loves him. 39 00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:58,010 - Sieg! - Heil! 40 00:03:58,110 --> 00:04:02,330 Here she is, that adorable swastika sweetheart, 41 00:04:02,430 --> 00:04:05,410 Matilda the Hun from Milwaukee! 42 00:04:05,490 --> 00:04:11,330 And her lovable Nazi navigator, Herman "the German" Bock! 43 00:04:19,570 --> 00:04:20,930 Matilda, Herman, 44 00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:25,930 do you think this is your turn to be first and foremost in sunny California? 45 00:04:26,010 --> 00:04:28,330 - Today, California. - Tomorrow, the world. 46 00:04:28,410 --> 00:04:30,810 Hiya, Herman. 47 00:04:30,890 --> 00:04:35,690 I hope your Buzz Bomb has a little more juice in its warhead this year. 48 00:04:39,050 --> 00:04:41,530 Whoever named your car the Bull, 49 00:04:41,650 --> 00:04:43,930 was only half right! 50 00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:47,890 Frankenstein, will Mr. President fly in to crown the winner of the race? 51 00:04:47,970 --> 00:04:48,650 Yes. 52 00:04:48,750 --> 00:04:50,930 Is it true that with your new mechanical arm 53 00:04:51,030 --> 00:04:53,730 you can shift gears in less than a twentieth of a second? 54 00:04:53,810 --> 00:04:56,890 - Would you care to comment on that? - No. 55 00:04:56,990 --> 00:05:00,450 How do you feel about going into the race with a navigator you've never met? 56 00:05:00,530 --> 00:05:03,410 You'll love Annie. She's a red-hot sexpot. 57 00:05:03,490 --> 00:05:05,890 She better be a red-hot navigator. 58 00:05:08,690 --> 00:05:09,930 No more questions. 59 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:15,970 It's the Lion! And at the wheel, Ray "Nero the Hero" Lonnegan. 60 00:05:16,090 --> 00:05:18,170 Never has finished the Transcontinental, 61 00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:22,690 but three big wins in the provinces this season plus a brand-new beast 62 00:05:22,770 --> 00:05:25,570 means Nero's not fiddling around. 63 00:05:25,670 --> 00:05:29,130 Sit still, Cleopatra, and stop blocking me. 64 00:05:29,210 --> 00:05:31,490 My fans wanna see me. 65 00:05:31,610 --> 00:05:33,730 They've never seen a has-been before? 66 00:05:40,530 --> 00:05:42,930 - Annie Smith? - Mr. Frankenstein. 67 00:05:44,090 --> 00:05:46,770 I've checked out the car, and everything seems perfect. 68 00:05:46,850 --> 00:05:51,650 - I have the route maps right here. - I will check them in a minute. 69 00:05:52,690 --> 00:05:54,250 We will roll... 70 00:05:54,350 --> 00:05:57,210 when everything seems perfect... 71 00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:58,370 to me. 72 00:05:58,450 --> 00:06:00,650 I've packed some high-protein capsules 73 00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:03,450 and as many adrenaline tablets as I could find. 74 00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:08,130 And I've also assembled a medical kit, just in case. I'm trained as a nurse. 75 00:06:08,230 --> 00:06:11,290 I don't need a nurse. I need a navigator. 76 00:06:11,390 --> 00:06:15,730 Mr. Frankenstein, you're very good at what you do, 77 00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:18,290 and I'm very good at what I do. 78 00:06:18,410 --> 00:06:20,410 We'll see. 79 00:06:21,570 --> 00:06:26,850 And you know there's only one person who guns an engine like that. 80 00:06:26,930 --> 00:06:30,410 It's gotta be the roughest tough guy of 'em all, 81 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:34,050 "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo! 82 00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:38,450 Here he comes - Machine Gun Joe. 83 00:06:38,530 --> 00:06:41,810 Loved by thousands, hated by millions. 84 00:06:41,910 --> 00:06:44,970 Only living previous winner except for Frankenstein. 85 00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:47,770 Highest lifetime score after Frankenstein. 86 00:06:47,850 --> 00:06:51,570 And he's certainly getting the welcome he deserves. 87 00:06:54,570 --> 00:07:00,330 Joe doesn't look too happy, but you can't keep those Frankenstein fans down. 88 00:07:00,810 --> 00:07:03,490 Lousy sons of bitches. 89 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,570 - Frankenstein? - Give it to them, Joe. 90 00:07:05,690 --> 00:07:07,610 You want Frankenstein? 91 00:07:07,690 --> 00:07:10,090 I'll give you Frankenstein. 92 00:07:13,930 --> 00:07:14,610 Yeah! 93 00:07:14,690 --> 00:07:16,730 Here he comes! Here he comes! 94 00:07:16,830 --> 00:07:18,330 Frankenstein! 95 00:07:18,450 --> 00:07:23,050 Frankenstein the legend! Frankenstein the indestructible! 96 00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:26,490 Sole survivor of the titanic pileup of '95. 97 00:07:26,610 --> 00:07:29,650 Only two-time winner of the Transcontinental Road Race. 98 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,690 Frankenstein - 99 00:07:31,770 --> 00:07:35,810 ripped up, wiped out, battered, shattered, creamed and reamed! 100 00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:38,090 A dancer on the brink of death. 101 00:07:38,210 --> 00:07:42,890 Frankenstein, who lost a leg in '98, an arm in '99. 102 00:07:42,970 --> 00:07:48,250 With half a face and half a chest and all the guts in the world, he's back! 103 00:07:48,370 --> 00:07:53,050 God only knows what he looks like under that mask, but he is back. 104 00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:58,130 In the name of Mr. President, America loves you, Frankenstein. 105 00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:11,650 You will regret that, Joe. 106 00:08:16,570 --> 00:08:17,890 Stay tuned, racing fans. 107 00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:23,570 T- video satellite will bring every mile of thrills and spills into your living room. 108 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:27,890 All five cars are in starting position here at New York Memorial Raceway, 109 00:08:27,990 --> 00:08:29,690 ready to roll. 110 00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:34,890 Now we take you to the Summer Palace. And Mr. President. 111 00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:50,130 My children, 112 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:53,370 whom I love so dearly, 113 00:08:53,470 --> 00:08:55,490 it has been my duty 114 00:08:55,590 --> 00:08:58,370 in the long and difficult years 115 00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:01,610 since the world crash of '79 116 00:09:01,730 --> 00:09:05,290 to serve you as best I could. 117 00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:09,890 Never before in history have the masses forgone all comfort 118 00:09:09,990 --> 00:09:12,450 so that the spirit of genius might thrive 119 00:09:12,570 --> 00:09:17,050 and seek the golden key to a new time of plenty 120 00:09:17,170 --> 00:09:20,330 in the fertile field of minority privilege. 121 00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:25,130 And now. my children. The drivers are ready. The world is waiting. 122 00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:29,250 Once more, I give you what you want. 123 00:09:40,850 --> 00:09:45,090 Good morning, Americans. Once again the race is under way, 124 00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:48,130 with 12-hour pit stops scheduled at St Louis 125 00:09:48,250 --> 00:09:52,170 and Albuquerque, home of the American Indian Museum. 126 00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:56,370 At this very moment the cars are howling through the streets of Manhattan, 127 00:09:56,490 --> 00:09:59,730 but no points have been scored as yet. 128 00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:02,130 Take it away. Junior Bruce. 129 00:10:02,230 --> 00:10:04,170 They're at the Lincoln Tunnel. 130 00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:07,130 With Frankenstein and Joe running neck and neck. 131 00:10:07,230 --> 00:10:11,250 Then it's the Lion. Driven by... Passed by Calamity Jane in the Bull. 132 00:10:11,330 --> 00:10:13,370 Moving into third place. 133 00:11:14,850 --> 00:11:17,050 All right, and hey, hey, hey! 134 00:11:17,130 --> 00:11:21,650 The cars have split up, the drivers taking off on their favorite routes. 135 00:11:21,730 --> 00:11:24,410 Frankenstein's still out in front. Headed due west. 136 00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:28,170 With Nero the Hero on his tail hoping to pick up his leftovers. 137 00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:30,370 Calamity Jane's on a northwest tack. 138 00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:33,810 Matilda's Buzz Bomb is trying to catch up with Machine Gun Joe. 139 00:11:33,930 --> 00:11:35,730 Now streaking southwest. 140 00:11:35,850 --> 00:11:37,930 Once again - Mr. President. 141 00:11:38,050 --> 00:11:41,290 I have made the United Provinces of America 142 00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:44,090 the greatest power in the known universe. 143 00:11:44,190 --> 00:11:46,370 I have also given you 144 00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:50,810 the most popular sporting event in the history of mankind - 145 00:11:50,890 --> 00:11:53,090 the Transcontinental Road Race. 146 00:11:53,210 --> 00:11:55,410 Which upholds the American tradition 147 00:11:55,490 --> 00:11:57,890 of no holds barred! 148 00:11:57,970 --> 00:12:01,170 "No holds barred." 149 00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:03,370 That's how he got to be president. 150 00:12:03,470 --> 00:12:05,650 Hypocrite pig! What about our ultimatum? 151 00:12:05,770 --> 00:12:07,850 He's been laughing us off for 15 years. 152 00:12:07,970 --> 00:12:10,250 Passive resistance means nothing to him. 153 00:12:10,370 --> 00:12:12,370 Pick up that flag, young man. 154 00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:13,810 It's time for action. 155 00:12:13,890 --> 00:12:16,010 It is not a time for violence. 156 00:12:16,130 --> 00:12:18,330 Mrs. Paine, I love Annie as much as you do. 157 00:12:18,410 --> 00:12:23,010 But she's no match for Frankenstein, and we can't risk letting him get away. 158 00:12:23,130 --> 00:12:26,570 Frankenstein is the biggest target in the world and a friend of Mr. President. 159 00:12:26,650 --> 00:12:32,410 That, Lieutenant Fury, is exactly why they'll call off the race. To save his life. 160 00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:34,250 My granddaughter will succeed. 161 00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:36,330 Don't you ever take off that mask? 162 00:12:36,450 --> 00:12:39,530 No. Don't you know about my face? 163 00:12:39,610 --> 00:12:41,730 I've heard stories. 164 00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:45,090 Nobody's ever seen it, have they? 165 00:12:45,170 --> 00:12:47,290 Except my other navigators. 166 00:12:47,370 --> 00:12:50,450 And they're all dead. 167 00:12:50,550 --> 00:12:52,650 So they are. 168 00:12:54,850 --> 00:12:59,450 They say you lost most of your jaw in the crash of '92. 169 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,330 And my right eye in '95, 170 00:13:02,430 --> 00:13:05,010 and my nose and my left eye in '97, 171 00:13:05,130 --> 00:13:07,330 and most of my cranium in '98. 172 00:13:07,410 --> 00:13:11,650 I'm held together with patches of plastic and steel plates. 173 00:13:11,730 --> 00:13:15,010 It's not a pretty sight. 174 00:13:15,110 --> 00:13:17,410 You wanna see? 175 00:13:17,510 --> 00:13:19,610 Why not? I've seen everything else. 176 00:13:19,710 --> 00:13:24,570 Remember, you're doing this on your own. I take no responsibility. 177 00:13:36,490 --> 00:13:40,130 What'd you expect? Another pretty face? 178 00:13:44,050 --> 00:13:47,210 - They really love you, Joe. - Yeah? 179 00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:51,170 Then how come they ain't down here on the road provin' it? 180 00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:54,890 Hey, you better make this left turn. You'll shave off about 2 miles that way. 181 00:13:54,970 --> 00:13:56,810 Yeah, all right. 182 00:14:15,810 --> 00:14:18,970 All right, all right and yes, siree! 183 00:14:19,070 --> 00:14:24,130 A clean hit! A perfect hit! And no pain for the target. 184 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,330 Too bad the guy was only 38. 185 00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:29,610 Just two years older, he'd have been worth three times the points. 186 00:14:29,690 --> 00:14:31,730 But, for the second year in a row, 187 00:14:31,810 --> 00:14:36,210 Machine Gun Joe has splattered the scoreboard first. 188 00:14:36,330 --> 00:14:40,810 How'd you like that, huh? Get off on that one, Myra, baby? 189 00:14:42,170 --> 00:14:46,570 - What's the matter with this engine? - I don't know. Sounds fine to me. 190 00:14:46,670 --> 00:14:49,090 Amateurs. 191 00:14:49,190 --> 00:14:53,850 Get back there and retard the spark four... uh, three degrees. 192 00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:37,810 I'm glad to see you were able to find your way back. 193 00:15:42,410 --> 00:15:45,290 As the cars roar into Pennsylvania. The cradle of liberty. 194 00:15:45,650 --> 00:15:49,890 It seems apparent that our citizens are staying off the streets. 195 00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:52,850 Which may make scoring particularly difficult. 196 00:15:52,930 --> 00:15:55,330 Even with this year's rule changes. 197 00:15:55,430 --> 00:15:58,490 To recap those revisions - 198 00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:03,970 women are still worth 10 points more than men in all age brackets. 199 00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:07,530 But teenagers now rack up 40 points. 200 00:16:07,630 --> 00:16:09,810 And toddlers under 12 201 00:16:09,930 --> 00:16:12,490 now rate a big 70 points. 202 00:16:12,610 --> 00:16:18,450 The big score - anyone. Any sex. Over 75 years old 203 00:16:18,550 --> 00:16:21,810 has been upped to 100 points. 204 00:16:21,910 --> 00:16:23,650 As always. 205 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:28,410 How fast you move determines how long you live. 206 00:16:36,570 --> 00:16:38,290 Toro! 207 00:17:12,050 --> 00:17:15,330 A beautiful kill! A neat kill! 208 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:18,410 No calamities for Jane today. No, sir. 209 00:17:18,490 --> 00:17:21,370 And you can bet she'll be getting both ears for that one. 210 00:17:34,130 --> 00:17:35,650 What is that? 211 00:17:35,730 --> 00:17:39,210 Euthanasia day at the geriatrics hospital. They do it every year. 212 00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:42,290 Here he comes! He's coming! 213 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:07,770 Frankenstein scores! Frankenstein scores at last! 214 00:18:07,890 --> 00:18:09,970 But what kind of a score, boys and girls? 215 00:18:10,070 --> 00:18:15,450 Just 110 points out of a possible big 700. What do you think about that, Gracie? 216 00:18:15,530 --> 00:18:20,330 Well, those doctors - dear friends of mine - 217 00:18:20,450 --> 00:18:23,690 have been pretty smug all these years, setting up the old folks. 218 00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:26,850 Frankenstein must have decided it was their turn. 219 00:18:26,970 --> 00:18:30,610 Which only goes to show that even the fearsome Frankenstein 220 00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:35,770 has a 100% red-blooded American sense of humor. 221 00:18:36,370 --> 00:18:40,570 Annie saved those old people! And she'll deliver Frankenstein. 222 00:18:40,690 --> 00:18:45,090 Meanwhile, innocent people are being slaughtered on our highways. 223 00:18:45,170 --> 00:18:48,930 They're like Christians being thrown to the gladiators. 224 00:18:49,010 --> 00:18:52,010 But just remember, the Christians won. 225 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,410 Did they, Mrs. Paine? 226 00:18:53,510 --> 00:18:58,050 I take it from your attire that your sabotage operations are being carried out, 227 00:18:58,150 --> 00:19:01,010 despite my wishes? 228 00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:06,010 Mrs. Paine, we're set to hit 'em with everything we've got. 229 00:19:06,090 --> 00:19:08,570 Then. In the name of humanity. 230 00:19:08,670 --> 00:19:11,850 Let Operation Anti-Race begin. 231 00:19:19,530 --> 00:19:22,410 How in hell are we supposed to score in this graveyard? 232 00:19:22,490 --> 00:19:25,090 You're the navigator. That's your problem. 233 00:19:25,170 --> 00:19:28,450 And think of something soon, or else you're gonna be out on your ass. 234 00:19:28,530 --> 00:19:31,290 It isn't my fault everyone scored before us. 235 00:19:31,410 --> 00:19:33,890 You should have hit that boy scout camp like I told you. 236 00:19:34,010 --> 00:19:36,570 I tried the god dammed boy scout camp. 237 00:19:36,690 --> 00:19:39,570 You know how fast those boy scouts move? 238 00:19:41,010 --> 00:19:43,290 Now, here's something more your speed. 239 00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:45,970 Gotta be at least 200 points. 240 00:19:46,070 --> 00:19:48,170 If they scatter, go for the baby and the mother. 241 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:52,610 Come on! Quick! Quick! 242 00:19:53,770 --> 00:19:56,250 Go for the baby! The baby! 243 00:19:56,330 --> 00:19:59,330 That's it. Come get baby. 244 00:19:59,410 --> 00:20:03,130 Bye-bye, baby. Hello, 70 points. 245 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:09,370 Hey! I'm off the air! 246 00:20:09,570 --> 00:20:12,370 Would you please take your places? 247 00:20:12,570 --> 00:20:14,770 Put Grace on with an interview, right now. 248 00:20:14,970 --> 00:20:19,170 Hello, ladies. Isn't this just the most exciting race in years? 249 00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:21,450 I certainly think so. 250 00:20:21,650 --> 00:20:24,050 And guess what - I have a surprise for you. 251 00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:30,210 Mrs. Rhonda Bainbridge, in person, on my show. 252 00:20:30,290 --> 00:20:34,690 The widow of Edward Bainbridge, whom, as we all know, 253 00:20:34,810 --> 00:20:39,410 was "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo's first score. 254 00:20:39,490 --> 00:20:44,090 Welcome to my home. And may I call you Rhonda? 255 00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:45,810 Please do, Mrs. Pander. 256 00:20:45,930 --> 00:20:49,370 - Are we about ready here? - Yeah, just about. 257 00:20:49,450 --> 00:20:52,170 Listen, we have to go right away. 258 00:20:53,970 --> 00:20:57,410 As the widow of the race's first score. 259 00:20:57,530 --> 00:21:03,090 You have won a high-style two-room apartment in Acapulco! 260 00:21:03,170 --> 00:21:05,490 Start the jam! 261 00:21:18,050 --> 00:21:21,010 And next year you will be watching the race 262 00:21:21,130 --> 00:21:26,410 on a 50-inch three-dimensional octaphonic T-video set... 263 00:21:26,490 --> 00:21:29,170 Fellow oppressed Americans. 264 00:21:29,250 --> 00:21:33,010 The execution of the barbarian killer Nero the Hero 265 00:21:33,090 --> 00:21:35,490 is the people's first stroke 266 00:21:35,690 --> 00:21:41,370 against the evil and corrupt regime of Mr. President. 267 00:21:41,570 --> 00:21:43,450 I am Thomasina Paine, 268 00:21:43,570 --> 00:21:47,090 founder and commander of the army of the resistance. 269 00:21:47,210 --> 00:21:53,130 For 20 years. Americans have been told when to eat and when to sleep. 270 00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:56,330 When to love and when to hate. 271 00:21:56,690 --> 00:22:01,090 The age of obedience is over. 272 00:22:01,210 --> 00:22:06,850 In the names of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Harry Truman, 273 00:22:07,330 --> 00:22:11,450 I call upon you to stand up for your inalienable rights. 274 00:22:12,050 --> 00:22:16,850 We declare war upon the Bipartisan Party, on Mr. President, 275 00:22:16,930 --> 00:22:22,410 and on that most inhuman desecration of life and liberty, 276 00:22:22,610 --> 00:22:25,850 the Transcontinental Road Rape. 277 00:22:25,930 --> 00:22:26,890 I thank you. 278 00:22:28,810 --> 00:22:32,370 - What the hell was that? - I have no information. 279 00:22:32,450 --> 00:22:35,530 - Is this race still on? - I have no information. 280 00:22:35,650 --> 00:22:37,450 - What do you think? - About what? 281 00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:39,650 About that speech. 282 00:22:39,770 --> 00:22:41,370 Adds spice to the race. 283 00:22:41,490 --> 00:22:44,170 "Spice"? They've killed Nero. 284 00:22:44,250 --> 00:22:45,970 That would have got more points for me. 285 00:22:46,170 --> 00:22:47,810 Don't you understand? 286 00:22:47,890 --> 00:22:51,370 They've declared war on the race and on you. Aren't you worried? 287 00:22:51,450 --> 00:22:54,610 The only thing that worries me is "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo. 288 00:22:54,730 --> 00:22:57,010 Is winning all you care about? 289 00:22:57,110 --> 00:23:00,290 Yes. It's the only standard of excellence left. 290 00:23:04,290 --> 00:23:07,290 - Come on. Here they come. - It's not finished. 291 00:23:07,370 --> 00:23:09,290 Come on! 292 00:23:12,250 --> 00:23:14,650 Look at that stupid hole right in the middle. 293 00:23:14,770 --> 00:23:17,170 They won't get through there. 294 00:23:21,090 --> 00:23:22,330 Blitzkrieg! 295 00:23:22,410 --> 00:23:26,250 As the drivers converge from their routes and head for the first pit stop in St. Louis. 296 00:23:26,370 --> 00:23:29,250 Machine Gun Joe is still leading the field. 297 00:23:29,350 --> 00:23:32,290 With Frankenstein second. Calamity Jane third. 298 00:23:32,390 --> 00:23:34,410 Leaving Matilda the Hun in fourth position 299 00:23:34,530 --> 00:23:37,690 and Calamity Jane facing another calamity! 300 00:23:37,790 --> 00:23:41,690 Right now. Frankenstein's score points put him just ahead of Joe... 301 00:23:41,810 --> 00:23:46,610 Hey! Get off the rope. Jesus Chrysler, get off the rope! 302 00:23:48,610 --> 00:23:51,690 Hey, dummy, come on over and hold the ladder. 303 00:23:59,370 --> 00:24:01,450 This aggravates me. 304 00:24:01,550 --> 00:24:04,050 Where's the one that says "Welcome Joe Viterbo"? 305 00:24:04,150 --> 00:24:08,570 Score the son of a bitch, Joe. You need every point you can get. 306 00:24:11,810 --> 00:24:13,930 I only mashed him slightly. 307 00:24:14,010 --> 00:24:16,690 - Put him out of his misery, Joe. - Is that fair? 308 00:24:16,810 --> 00:24:19,090 - Yeah! - Hey. Should I let him go? 309 00:24:20,930 --> 00:24:23,050 Fair's always right. 310 00:25:09,450 --> 00:25:10,970 One thing before we begin. 311 00:25:11,070 --> 00:25:15,010 The government would like it if nobody said anything about Nero. Understand? 312 00:25:15,130 --> 00:25:18,090 He hit a tree, and that's it. Got it? 313 00:25:18,170 --> 00:25:20,570 - We don't wanna depress anybody by... - Hey, hey. 314 00:25:20,690 --> 00:25:24,050 Everybody knows he was blown up by the resistance, you schmuck. 315 00:25:24,130 --> 00:25:25,570 It was on television. 316 00:25:25,670 --> 00:25:30,250 If you wanna drive again next year, Mr. Viterbo, keep those opinions to yourself. 317 00:25:30,350 --> 00:25:31,410 OK. Go ahead. 318 00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:33,730 This is Grace Pander from St Louis, 319 00:25:33,810 --> 00:25:37,170 where Matilda - a dear friend of mine - 320 00:25:37,250 --> 00:25:40,250 is receiving a well-deserved rub down. 321 00:25:40,330 --> 00:25:41,970 Tell me, Tilly, darling, 322 00:25:42,070 --> 00:25:45,130 what can we expect from you when the cars go back on the road? 323 00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:47,330 You can expect a victory... 324 00:25:47,450 --> 00:25:49,530 by a member of the master race. 325 00:25:49,650 --> 00:25:51,090 A woman. 326 00:25:51,170 --> 00:25:54,050 Tilly, darling, that certainly is showing a lot of confidence 327 00:25:54,130 --> 00:25:56,730 for someone who's lying fourth out of four. 328 00:25:56,810 --> 00:25:59,130 She doesn't mind, as long as she's lying somewhere. 329 00:25:59,210 --> 00:26:01,930 When I'm through with you, you're gonna be lying in state. 330 00:26:02,010 --> 00:26:04,690 If anybody is going to boot hill, it's you and your Bizz Bang. 331 00:26:04,770 --> 00:26:06,130 - Buzz Bomb. - Shut up. 332 00:26:06,230 --> 00:26:08,730 You just leave my navigator alone. 333 00:26:08,810 --> 00:26:12,370 Girls, girls, girls. Remember you're on TV-land. 334 00:26:12,450 --> 00:26:14,770 Pete, how do you like being a navigator? 335 00:26:14,850 --> 00:26:20,610 Well, Junior, I'd like it more if I was in the driver's seat. 336 00:26:20,710 --> 00:26:22,610 You'll get what's coming to you on the road. 337 00:26:22,730 --> 00:26:23,690 Oh, yeah? 338 00:26:23,770 --> 00:26:27,810 What's coming to me is the final solution to the cowgirl problem. 339 00:26:27,910 --> 00:26:30,490 Frankenstein, when are you gonna make your move? 340 00:26:30,570 --> 00:26:32,970 Are you gonna take off-road chances for scores, 341 00:26:33,090 --> 00:26:37,010 or are you driving all-out to be first into New L.A.? 342 00:26:37,090 --> 00:26:39,410 It's not about winning, it's how you play the game. 343 00:26:39,510 --> 00:26:42,010 Frankenstein - a dear friend of mine. 344 00:26:42,090 --> 00:26:46,890 Frankenstein, tell me how it feels when, at that electric instant, at 200 mph, 345 00:26:46,990 --> 00:26:50,530 life and death coexist at the moment of scoring. 346 00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:54,290 If you stand in the middle of Route 66 tomorrow morning at eight o'clock, 347 00:26:54,390 --> 00:26:56,690 you can answer that question for yourself. 348 00:27:09,410 --> 00:27:12,690 What are you doing? Get away from me. Joe will go nuts! 349 00:27:12,770 --> 00:27:17,570 Just tell him I was whispering sweet nothings in your ear. 350 00:27:23,530 --> 00:27:26,010 Well, Myra, what did Frankenstein have to say to you? 351 00:27:26,130 --> 00:27:28,130 H- h-h-he didn't say anything. He... 352 00:27:28,210 --> 00:27:29,570 - What'd he say? - Nothing... 353 00:27:29,670 --> 00:27:31,370 - What'd he say?! - Nothing! 354 00:27:31,470 --> 00:27:34,090 I'm not playing games, Myra. I wanna know what he said. 355 00:27:34,170 --> 00:27:38,570 He said there was nothing sweet in my ear. 356 00:27:38,690 --> 00:27:40,210 "In my ear." 357 00:27:51,450 --> 00:27:54,210 What do you want? 358 00:27:54,290 --> 00:27:56,810 My name is Laurie, Mr. Frankenstein. 359 00:27:56,890 --> 00:28:00,170 I'm head of Chapter Seven, St Louis Lovers of Frankenstein. 360 00:28:00,250 --> 00:28:04,970 - I was chosen from over 100 girls... - To offer me your body? Is that it? 361 00:28:05,050 --> 00:28:08,130 You want me because I drive the Monster and wear this costume. 362 00:28:08,210 --> 00:28:12,250 No, Mr. Frankenstein. That wouldn't be fair to your navigator. 363 00:28:12,350 --> 00:28:15,130 It's taken her years of hard work to earn that privilege. 364 00:28:15,230 --> 00:28:18,290 Besides, we understand your feelings. 365 00:28:19,050 --> 00:28:22,610 What do you know of my feelings? 366 00:28:22,690 --> 00:28:25,090 Everything. Like... 367 00:28:25,170 --> 00:28:28,170 Like why you're afraid of falling in love. 368 00:28:28,250 --> 00:28:31,330 And why winning the race means everything to you. 369 00:28:31,410 --> 00:28:33,530 How do you know these things? 370 00:28:33,610 --> 00:28:36,130 From my dreams, partly. 371 00:28:36,210 --> 00:28:38,810 And from letters I get from other fans. 372 00:28:38,890 --> 00:28:41,890 Plus the club subscribes to an astrology service. 373 00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:45,330 Well, if you're not here to offer me your body, what do you want? 374 00:28:45,410 --> 00:28:50,130 I wanted to meet you, Mr. Frankenstein. I wanted you to know who I am. 375 00:28:50,230 --> 00:28:52,890 So it would have meaning. 376 00:28:53,010 --> 00:28:54,930 I don't understand. 377 00:28:55,010 --> 00:28:56,370 So what would have meaning? 378 00:28:56,470 --> 00:29:00,690 We love you, Mr. Frankenstein. I know just saying it doesn't mean much. 379 00:29:00,770 --> 00:29:03,650 Why do you love me? Because I kill people? 380 00:29:03,730 --> 00:29:08,170 Scoring isn't killing, Mr. Frankenstein. It's part of the race. 381 00:29:08,270 --> 00:29:13,330 You're a national hero, and we want you to know we're with you 100%. 382 00:29:14,210 --> 00:29:16,490 Good night, Mr. Frankenstein. 383 00:29:28,370 --> 00:29:30,490 I didn't hear you come in. 384 00:29:30,610 --> 00:29:34,250 Who were you expecting? Machine Gun Joe? 385 00:29:34,350 --> 00:29:37,610 I thought I could trust you. 386 00:29:37,690 --> 00:29:42,290 You really just don't wanna give me a chance, do you? 387 00:29:42,370 --> 00:29:45,170 I was trying to help you. 388 00:29:45,250 --> 00:29:48,530 I'm... sorry. 389 00:29:48,630 --> 00:29:50,450 You're what? 390 00:29:52,570 --> 00:29:54,490 Sorry. 391 00:29:55,810 --> 00:29:59,090 He wanted to know our route, so I told him to go down 54 392 00:29:59,190 --> 00:30:01,850 through the Cimarron Valley. 393 00:30:02,890 --> 00:30:07,530 54 is a dead end. Leads nowhere. 394 00:30:07,610 --> 00:30:12,690 That's right. And if Joe takes it, he's sunk. 395 00:30:12,770 --> 00:30:16,610 The only way Joe will take that road is if he sees us do it first. 396 00:30:16,710 --> 00:30:18,650 Or if he's ahead of us. 397 00:30:20,370 --> 00:30:24,290 - Is that the arm that came off in '98? - Mm-hm. 398 00:30:24,410 --> 00:30:26,410 And... 399 00:30:26,490 --> 00:30:31,210 which one of those obviously perfect legs was it that came off in '99? 400 00:30:31,770 --> 00:30:32,850 The right. 401 00:30:32,950 --> 00:30:37,250 And the left one was just broken in six places and burned down to the bone. 402 00:30:37,330 --> 00:30:39,650 - Is that right? - Mm-hm. 403 00:30:40,610 --> 00:30:43,290 It's a miracle you can still walk. 404 00:30:45,490 --> 00:30:48,770 Do you like to dance? 405 00:31:40,530 --> 00:31:44,650 Those Swiss mechanics sure did a good job on you. 406 00:31:44,750 --> 00:31:49,450 What else did they replace? 407 00:31:49,550 --> 00:31:51,450 Wait a minute... 408 00:31:51,550 --> 00:31:53,770 and I'll show you. 409 00:32:01,330 --> 00:32:06,050 O Mr. President, bless thy children and make them strong. 410 00:32:06,130 --> 00:32:10,730 Bless thy daughters Matilda and Jane, and thy son Joe. 411 00:32:10,850 --> 00:32:15,450 And bless thy beloved son, the immortal Frankenstein, 412 00:32:15,550 --> 00:32:18,810 who has given so much pleasure to so many. 413 00:32:18,890 --> 00:32:22,730 The hell with Frankenstein. What about Joe Viterbo? 414 00:32:31,250 --> 00:32:33,370 The flag is down and they're away, 415 00:32:33,470 --> 00:32:35,970 with Machine Gun Joe blasting into the lead 416 00:32:36,050 --> 00:32:40,370 on this second lap of the great Transcontinental Road Race. 417 00:32:40,490 --> 00:32:43,650 Frankenstein is making a left turn, splitting early from the pack. 418 00:32:43,730 --> 00:32:45,930 Look out, all you folks just south of here. 419 00:32:46,050 --> 00:32:48,810 Gee, Joe, there's nobody even close behind us. 420 00:32:48,910 --> 00:32:49,690 Shh. 421 00:32:49,790 --> 00:32:51,610 Where's he going? What's he doing? 422 00:32:51,690 --> 00:32:55,050 - Hey, where are we going? - I dropped my glove. 423 00:32:56,410 --> 00:32:59,770 Let not the ruin of thy robes destruct the tires... 424 00:33:00,610 --> 00:33:02,530 Jesus Chrysler! 425 00:33:03,490 --> 00:33:06,090 Ladies and gentlemen, by a bizarre accident 426 00:33:06,170 --> 00:33:09,050 Frankenstein has killed our cherished colleague 427 00:33:09,150 --> 00:33:10,770 the deacon of the Bipartisan Party. 428 00:33:10,890 --> 00:33:13,450 I think you did that on purpose. 429 00:33:13,550 --> 00:33:16,530 Have to give the fans something to talk about. 430 00:33:16,610 --> 00:33:19,010 It's my obligation as a national hero. 431 00:33:19,130 --> 00:33:22,970 Frankenstein's score is now... Does that score count, Harold? 432 00:33:23,050 --> 00:33:28,250 An interesting point, Junior, and one that may set a significant precedent. 433 00:33:28,350 --> 00:33:30,930 Can a racer score a race official? 434 00:33:31,030 --> 00:33:33,890 Ooh, and after all those nice things he said about him. 435 00:33:33,990 --> 00:33:38,770 It don't matter. It don't count. You can't score religious personalities. 436 00:33:38,890 --> 00:33:44,730 The word "deacon" has been handed down to us from the ancient... the, uh... 437 00:33:44,830 --> 00:33:48,290 Frankenstein's score has been approved for 50 points. 438 00:33:48,370 --> 00:33:52,970 The confirmation has just been handed to me. You know what that means, Junior? 439 00:33:53,090 --> 00:33:57,490 That means that the race officials from coast to coast will be falling like flies. 440 00:33:57,570 --> 00:34:01,410 - Frankenstein! Agh! I hate him. I hate him. - Oh, sh... 441 00:34:02,450 --> 00:34:04,210 You're salivating. 442 00:34:46,010 --> 00:34:48,770 Oh, my... Why did she do that? 443 00:34:49,930 --> 00:34:51,850 To show me she loves me. 444 00:34:57,330 --> 00:34:59,810 Here they come. Let's get set. 445 00:35:11,530 --> 00:35:13,930 Chicken game. 446 00:35:14,010 --> 00:35:17,370 - Chicken in a basket. - Chicken in a casket. 447 00:35:25,730 --> 00:35:27,450 Oh, shit! 448 00:35:38,290 --> 00:35:40,570 Yeah, hey. Who got the last laugh now, huh? 449 00:35:47,850 --> 00:35:50,650 - The turnoff, it's coming up. - Should I take it? 450 00:35:50,730 --> 00:35:53,250 - Who gives a goddamn shit? - Should I? 451 00:35:53,350 --> 00:35:56,290 She says I should, so I should, right? Or should I? I don't know. 452 00:35:56,410 --> 00:35:59,450 I don't think you should. I think it's definitely a trick. 453 00:35:59,570 --> 00:36:02,810 I'll do it. I won't do it. I'd be a schmuck to do it. 454 00:36:05,130 --> 00:36:07,610 I did it and I'm no schmuck! 455 00:36:07,730 --> 00:36:10,890 - That's your story. - That's right. That's right. 456 00:36:10,970 --> 00:36:14,730 And I see you mess with Frankenstein again, I'm really gonna bust your eye. 457 00:36:14,810 --> 00:36:16,650 What do you mean, "really"? 458 00:36:25,090 --> 00:36:29,770 I have an almost unlimited score possibility, but it's pretty far down the road. 459 00:36:30,450 --> 00:36:32,730 District penitents' compound. 460 00:36:32,850 --> 00:36:36,690 All those old congressmen chained up. They'd be like sitting ducks. 461 00:36:36,770 --> 00:36:40,530 Yeah, and all I gotta do is drive through a cyclone fence. Uh-uh. 462 00:36:40,610 --> 00:36:44,330 Look, the farther west we go, the fewer targets there'll be. 463 00:36:44,450 --> 00:36:45,770 Hey, come on. 464 00:36:45,890 --> 00:36:49,130 Joe's already on his way to a dead end, and the other two... 465 00:36:52,130 --> 00:36:54,050 OK. 466 00:36:55,970 --> 00:36:58,530 Take the next right. 467 00:36:59,010 --> 00:37:02,970 Now, as soon as the car gets within range, I shall give the signal. 468 00:37:03,050 --> 00:37:07,250 We'll have just under a minute after they reach the turnoff. Lieutenant Fury... 469 00:37:07,350 --> 00:37:11,010 Lieutenant Fury has nothing whatever to do with this. 470 00:37:11,090 --> 00:37:13,610 I want none of his surprises here. 471 00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:16,850 I could stand for a surprise. Like if your Frankenstein didn't show up. 472 00:37:16,950 --> 00:37:19,250 Don't worry. He'll show. 473 00:37:22,330 --> 00:37:25,010 What's our estimated time of arrival in Albuquerque? 474 00:37:25,090 --> 00:37:28,850 Well, I'm not sure. I mean, this detour is gonna make a difference. 475 00:37:28,950 --> 00:37:30,850 Haven't you calculated our time of arrival? 476 00:37:30,970 --> 00:37:33,450 I did, but I couldn't take into consideration... 477 00:37:33,530 --> 00:37:37,210 - Take what into consideration? - Frankenstein! Stop the car! 478 00:37:37,290 --> 00:37:39,290 Hold on. 479 00:37:41,690 --> 00:37:45,130 - What the hell? - Don't stop now. What are you doing? 480 00:37:45,250 --> 00:37:47,250 What are they doing? 481 00:37:50,810 --> 00:37:53,010 Sorry, brother. 482 00:38:03,170 --> 00:38:06,810 If that's the best the resistance can do, we got nothing to worry about. 483 00:38:06,930 --> 00:38:08,170 I guess not. 484 00:38:08,250 --> 00:38:09,890 One thing I can't figure out 485 00:38:09,970 --> 00:38:13,330 is why would they bother to dress that guy up to look like me? 486 00:38:13,450 --> 00:38:15,090 Maybe he was a fan. 487 00:38:18,610 --> 00:38:24,290 Who built this stinkin' road? If I ever get my hands on him, I'll rip his heart out. 488 00:38:24,370 --> 00:38:27,530 I mean it! I'm sick of this race and I'm sick of you! 489 00:38:32,410 --> 00:38:35,970 I guess it must have been Joe that set us up for that ambush, don't you think? 490 00:38:36,090 --> 00:38:38,930 Got in touch with those guys and told them where we were going? 491 00:38:39,030 --> 00:38:41,330 I guess it might have been. 492 00:38:41,450 --> 00:38:44,690 But then how the hell did Joe know we were gonna take a detour? 493 00:38:44,810 --> 00:38:47,690 Maybe it was those guys on the pit crew in St. Louis. 494 00:38:47,790 --> 00:38:50,850 Took your book out of the car while you were getting massaged. 495 00:38:50,950 --> 00:38:53,450 I didn't leave my book in the car. 496 00:38:53,550 --> 00:38:55,330 - You didn't, huh? - No. 497 00:38:56,690 --> 00:38:59,370 Well, then, I guess it couldn't have been them. 498 00:38:59,490 --> 00:39:02,530 - Who do you think it was? - I have no idea. 499 00:39:02,630 --> 00:39:04,450 Why do you care? They didn't get you. 500 00:39:04,570 --> 00:39:09,250 Us. They didn't get us. We're a team, remember? 501 00:39:18,730 --> 00:39:22,890 Come on over to my side. You're gonna drive for a while. 502 00:39:22,970 --> 00:39:24,690 Why? I'm not trained as a driver. 503 00:39:24,770 --> 00:39:28,050 Never mind why. Just do as I tell you. 504 00:39:36,890 --> 00:39:39,570 I'm counting on you to make a nice big score for us. 505 00:39:39,650 --> 00:39:42,450 Sure. 506 00:39:42,550 --> 00:39:44,530 Anything special in mind? 507 00:39:44,650 --> 00:39:46,850 Something'll turn up. 508 00:39:46,930 --> 00:39:48,570 I'm sure that it will. 509 00:40:03,050 --> 00:40:05,850 Jesus H Christ! I'll kill that broad! 510 00:40:05,930 --> 00:40:08,890 - What did I do? - Shut your face. 511 00:40:09,970 --> 00:40:12,370 Cornball, what's the fastest way through here? 512 00:40:12,470 --> 00:40:16,570 Well, um... actually, the only way we do it is we get a bulldozer 513 00:40:16,670 --> 00:40:18,970 and we trim this edge down here and we drive through. 514 00:40:19,050 --> 00:40:21,450 No, what's the best way between here and Albuquerque? 515 00:40:21,570 --> 00:40:24,650 - You got to go back to the main highway. - I'll lose 45 minutes! 516 00:40:24,730 --> 00:40:28,290 I've seen you before. I'm one of your greatest fans, you know that? 517 00:40:28,370 --> 00:40:32,770 I follow all of the races. I got pictures of you all over the outhouse. 518 00:40:32,890 --> 00:40:35,930 I named my favorite dog after you, Mr. Frankenstein. I did. 519 00:40:36,030 --> 00:40:39,890 Lousy stinkin' dirt ball. You got two seconds to live. 520 00:41:18,610 --> 00:41:21,490 Come on, Pete, honey. You gonna take all day with that? 521 00:41:21,610 --> 00:41:25,050 I wanna get on the road, make a few more scores. My blood lust is fading. 522 00:41:25,150 --> 00:41:28,970 Almost finished, Calamity, sweetheart. We'll be back on the road in no time, 523 00:41:29,090 --> 00:41:31,290 then we'll cream that Nazi's ass for her. 524 00:41:31,390 --> 00:41:32,610 What'd you say? I... 525 00:41:32,730 --> 00:41:34,170 Blitzkrieg! 526 00:41:36,170 --> 00:41:39,050 You lousy bitch! I'll kill you for that! 527 00:41:39,130 --> 00:41:42,610 Nobody scores my navigator and gets away with it. 528 00:41:59,010 --> 00:41:59,970 Uh-oh. 529 00:42:00,050 --> 00:42:02,850 Here she comes. And boy, is she pissed. 530 00:42:02,930 --> 00:42:05,890 What does she expect? You leave your navigator lying around, 531 00:42:06,010 --> 00:42:09,050 naturally somebody's gonna run over him. 532 00:42:49,170 --> 00:42:52,050 She's gaining on us, momma, and she's got murder on her mind. 533 00:42:52,130 --> 00:42:55,490 Schnell. Meine kleine Buzz Bomb. 534 00:43:23,490 --> 00:43:26,930 - That's good. - All right, on three. One, two, three. 535 00:43:28,650 --> 00:43:31,050 Support it. Easy. Steady as she goes. 536 00:43:43,250 --> 00:43:44,690 Here they come! 537 00:43:49,370 --> 00:43:52,170 A detour. I really needed that right now. 538 00:44:20,450 --> 00:44:22,090 Holy shit. 539 00:44:22,170 --> 00:44:26,210 A special bulletin. There's been an accident. An explosion. 540 00:44:26,290 --> 00:44:30,530 It looks like Matilda has been blown totally... 541 00:44:33,410 --> 00:44:39,050 Correction. Matilda has made an impressive score. Stand by. 542 00:44:43,090 --> 00:44:47,890 Don't you wanna take over now? I'm afraid I'm making us lose an awful lot of time. 543 00:44:47,970 --> 00:44:51,050 You're doing just fine. 544 00:45:00,050 --> 00:45:03,410 - Looks like an easy score. - Yeah. Yeah, it does. 545 00:45:03,530 --> 00:45:05,410 It's always best to start small. 546 00:45:14,330 --> 00:45:17,610 - I missed him. - It takes some practice. 547 00:45:17,690 --> 00:45:21,810 - Before it comes easy? - It never comes easy. 548 00:45:21,930 --> 00:45:24,410 Keep your eyes on the road. 549 00:45:26,050 --> 00:45:29,890 How far is it to the penitents' compound? 550 00:45:29,970 --> 00:45:32,570 Oh, maybe 20 miles. 551 00:45:34,690 --> 00:45:36,970 Stop the car. 552 00:45:44,730 --> 00:45:46,370 Get out. 553 00:45:46,490 --> 00:45:48,410 Out. 554 00:45:54,450 --> 00:45:56,170 Come to the other side. 555 00:45:56,270 --> 00:45:58,250 Around the front. 556 00:46:10,450 --> 00:46:13,210 Where is the penitents' compound? 557 00:46:14,970 --> 00:46:17,050 It's in Japan. 558 00:46:20,690 --> 00:46:22,050 Get in. 559 00:46:31,050 --> 00:46:35,690 I could just push you out of this car and pick up a quick 30 points. 560 00:46:35,770 --> 00:46:38,170 Who are you? Who are you working for? 561 00:46:38,270 --> 00:46:40,850 I'm Thomasina Paine's granddaughter. 562 00:46:42,210 --> 00:46:44,410 I'm honored. 563 00:46:45,530 --> 00:46:49,370 So you were gonna capture me and replace me with that goon back there. 564 00:46:49,490 --> 00:46:51,770 What for? 565 00:46:51,870 --> 00:46:55,730 He was going to deliver our ultimatum to Mr. President. 566 00:46:55,810 --> 00:46:59,570 Your life in exchange for the permanent abolition of the race. 567 00:47:28,330 --> 00:47:32,330 She was a great. Dear friend of mine. 568 00:47:32,450 --> 00:47:37,450 And I shall remember her forever. Howling down that freeway in the sky. 569 00:47:37,530 --> 00:47:40,690 Knocking over the angels. 570 00:47:41,730 --> 00:47:47,490 The valiant Hun's demise was in fact caused by enemies of the people. 571 00:47:47,610 --> 00:47:52,850 There will be a special broadcast by Mr. President at 1900 hours. 572 00:47:52,950 --> 00:47:59,210 Stay tuned to find out how you can help Mr. President preserve our way of life... 573 00:47:59,290 --> 00:48:01,690 Calamity, turn off the television. 574 00:48:01,770 --> 00:48:04,650 Hey, you guys wanna stop playing that song, please? 575 00:48:04,770 --> 00:48:09,650 Look, this is a race, a sporting event, not a daredevil stunt. I want some protection. 576 00:48:09,750 --> 00:48:12,330 You should have given us an escort after Nero got it. 577 00:48:12,450 --> 00:48:14,730 Joe would score the escort, wouldn't you, baby? 578 00:48:14,850 --> 00:48:18,850 You wanna zip your lip, Myra? Huh? Now, are you going to cover me or not? 579 00:48:18,950 --> 00:48:22,890 Look, Mr. Viterbo, if you're afraid to go on with the race, why don't you quit? 580 00:48:22,970 --> 00:48:24,410 You're calling me a turkey? 581 00:48:24,530 --> 00:48:27,410 If you ask me, you're all making excuses for poor driving. 582 00:48:27,510 --> 00:48:31,610 Poor driving?! Listen, honey. Matilda the Hun was a champion driver. 583 00:48:31,710 --> 00:48:34,570 Nobody could've scored my navigator and gotten away with it. 584 00:48:34,670 --> 00:48:36,490 And he's talking about poor driving! 585 00:48:36,590 --> 00:48:40,450 I'd like to see you do it. I've been driving for ten years. Nobody talks to me like this. 586 00:48:40,530 --> 00:48:42,850 - This stinks. - It's all on account of the rebels. 587 00:48:42,930 --> 00:48:47,530 Who mentioned anything about rebels? There are no rebels. Understand? 588 00:48:47,630 --> 00:48:50,410 Then who was that old lady on the television? 589 00:48:50,490 --> 00:48:52,530 Thomasina Paine. She's a harmless lunatic. 590 00:48:52,610 --> 00:48:57,410 Would you please come outside, sir? We like to ask you a few questions. 591 00:48:59,130 --> 00:49:01,810 - Come on, Annie. - Alone, if you don't mind. 592 00:49:01,930 --> 00:49:06,330 Mr. President will explain those accidents during his address to the nation. 593 00:49:06,410 --> 00:49:09,130 - How did she jam the networks? - And bump off our friends? 594 00:49:09,210 --> 00:49:12,930 She didn't bump off anybody. She walked into a television station waving a gun, 595 00:49:13,050 --> 00:49:16,970 forced them to put her on the air. We've taken her back to the asylum. That's it. 596 00:49:17,090 --> 00:49:19,570 - I got just two words to say about that. - Oh? 597 00:49:19,650 --> 00:49:21,090 Bull shit! 598 00:49:21,190 --> 00:49:22,810 Excuse me. 599 00:49:23,690 --> 00:49:26,290 Hey! I told you to stop playing that song! 600 00:49:27,050 --> 00:49:31,650 You forget, Joe, that I'm a representative of Mr. President's government. 601 00:49:31,730 --> 00:49:34,530 I happen to hold the power of life and death. 602 00:49:34,610 --> 00:49:37,690 Yeah? Well, I happen to hold the clam sauce. 603 00:49:38,450 --> 00:49:42,850 Look out, Viterbo. You may be the second biggest clown in this circus, 604 00:49:42,950 --> 00:49:45,570 but if I want you dead, you're dead. 605 00:49:45,650 --> 00:49:48,250 - Second biggest? - Sit down and eat! 606 00:49:53,410 --> 00:49:55,530 I told you to stop playing that music! 607 00:49:56,290 --> 00:49:59,850 Were they armed, or did they expect the fire to be enough to stop you? 608 00:49:59,950 --> 00:50:04,930 I don't know what they expected. We just ran through it all and kept going. 609 00:50:05,010 --> 00:50:06,930 One more question, Mr. Frankenstein. 610 00:50:08,650 --> 00:50:11,370 Did you take that particular road on your own initiative, 611 00:50:11,470 --> 00:50:13,930 or on the advice of your navigator? 612 00:50:15,970 --> 00:50:17,690 On my own initiative. 613 00:50:17,770 --> 00:50:21,050 Thank you, Mr. Frankenstein. That will be all. 614 00:50:22,570 --> 00:50:27,090 There has been a lot of talk about American rebels. 615 00:50:27,190 --> 00:50:29,010 We have positive proof 616 00:50:29,090 --> 00:50:32,250 that it was none other than the treacherous French 617 00:50:32,350 --> 00:50:35,690 who have been sabotaging our great race. 618 00:50:35,810 --> 00:50:39,850 Just as they and their stinking European allies 619 00:50:39,950 --> 00:50:44,930 have undermined and destroyed our great national economy. 620 00:50:45,010 --> 00:50:47,330 It is no coincidence. My dear children. 621 00:50:47,430 --> 00:50:51,450 That the word "sabotage" was invented by the French. 622 00:50:51,530 --> 00:50:53,930 - Where's Annie? - I don't know. 623 00:50:54,030 --> 00:50:55,450 Hey, did you hear the news? 624 00:50:55,570 --> 00:50:59,770 Mr. President said it was the French who knocked off Nero and Matilda. 625 00:50:59,890 --> 00:51:02,370 Watch out for the crêpe suzettes. 626 00:51:02,470 --> 00:51:05,810 ..."Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo and Frankenstein. 627 00:51:05,930 --> 00:51:11,210 As they begin the last lap of their long and difficult journey 628 00:51:11,290 --> 00:51:14,170 toward New Los Angeles. 629 00:51:18,090 --> 00:51:20,890 Drop your keys? 630 00:51:20,970 --> 00:51:23,570 I was just looking for something I lost. 631 00:51:23,650 --> 00:51:24,890 The race? 632 00:51:25,010 --> 00:51:27,130 Look, Joe... 633 00:51:27,210 --> 00:51:29,970 I threw you off course, OK? 634 00:51:30,090 --> 00:51:32,090 All's fair in love and war. 635 00:51:32,210 --> 00:51:35,930 I'm glad to hear you say that, Annie, because what we got goin' here 636 00:51:36,050 --> 00:51:38,050 definitely ain't love. 637 00:51:38,150 --> 00:51:40,930 Well, then, why don't we just forget about it? 638 00:51:41,610 --> 00:51:45,250 You know, Annie, it's too bad things ain't like they were in the old days, 639 00:51:45,350 --> 00:51:50,530 when we'd just take somebody in an alley and blow their brains out. You know? 640 00:51:50,610 --> 00:51:53,090 - Joe, please. - Go ahead and scream, Annie. 641 00:51:53,210 --> 00:51:56,930 - You're hurting me, Joe. - There's nobody to hear you. 642 00:51:57,050 --> 00:51:58,970 Huh? 643 00:52:01,930 --> 00:52:06,330 How does it feel to know you're gonna spend the rest of your life in pain? 644 00:52:06,430 --> 00:52:10,370 The rest of your life is about a minute and a half. 645 00:52:11,810 --> 00:52:16,610 Frankie. Glad you came. I caught your navigator screwin' around with the car, 646 00:52:16,690 --> 00:52:20,530 so I thought I'd come down and have a look at what was going on. 647 00:52:20,610 --> 00:52:22,170 Hey, come on, Frank... 648 00:53:40,490 --> 00:53:42,330 Upstairs. 649 00:53:42,410 --> 00:53:45,290 So much for a fair fight. 650 00:53:45,410 --> 00:53:49,410 Next chance I get, you're dead. 651 00:53:55,770 --> 00:54:00,930 What were you doing? Getting more secret instructions from the lunatic fringe? 652 00:54:05,250 --> 00:54:07,930 Why don't you just turn me in and get it over with? 653 00:54:08,050 --> 00:54:11,290 No need to. 654 00:54:11,370 --> 00:54:14,450 You've blown your cover. You're no threat to me. 655 00:54:14,550 --> 00:54:18,010 Anyway, you're not someone I would throw away. 656 00:54:18,110 --> 00:54:21,730 - I have a job to do. - Your job is a waste of time. 657 00:54:21,850 --> 00:54:23,970 The world doesn't wanna be saved. 658 00:54:24,050 --> 00:54:27,690 I'm giving you a chance to save one small part of it. 659 00:54:27,790 --> 00:54:29,810 Yourself. 660 00:54:29,910 --> 00:54:32,970 Who are you anyway? 661 00:54:33,070 --> 00:54:35,250 Nobody. 662 00:54:35,370 --> 00:54:38,130 I was brought up in a government training centre to be what I am - 663 00:54:38,250 --> 00:54:42,930 Frankenstein, the best driver on earth. This year. 664 00:54:43,050 --> 00:54:46,290 They use one up, they bring in another. 665 00:54:46,410 --> 00:54:50,690 - But I will be the last of the line. - Oh, who's kidding who? 666 00:54:53,570 --> 00:54:55,690 I never kid. 667 00:55:19,490 --> 00:55:21,890 Why don't you ever take off that glove? 668 00:55:21,990 --> 00:55:24,090 What's underneath it? 669 00:55:24,170 --> 00:55:27,050 It's my secret. 670 00:55:27,170 --> 00:55:29,930 You and the Swiss doctors again? 671 00:55:30,010 --> 00:55:32,890 There are no Swiss doctors. 672 00:55:33,010 --> 00:55:38,170 Just native... American... know-how. 673 00:55:57,930 --> 00:55:59,850 - Have you checked the oil? - Yes. 674 00:55:59,950 --> 00:56:02,450 - Have you checked the hydraulics? - An hour ago. 675 00:56:02,530 --> 00:56:05,890 - Brakes? Tires? Water? - Yeah, they're OK. Everything's OK. 676 00:56:05,990 --> 00:56:10,610 Don't worry. I'm not going to do anything to sabotage the car. 677 00:56:12,690 --> 00:56:14,050 You get a load of that face? 678 00:56:14,150 --> 00:56:16,810 I wonder if somebody got points for that eye. 679 00:56:18,250 --> 00:56:22,690 Listen, Frankenstein, there's just you, me and Joe left in the race, and... 680 00:56:22,770 --> 00:56:26,530 Well, I just want you to know that whoever wins and whatever happens, 681 00:56:26,610 --> 00:56:30,050 it's been really grand racin' with you folks. 682 00:56:30,150 --> 00:56:32,850 I also wanna say that I think you make a real nice couple. 683 00:56:32,950 --> 00:56:35,730 - Thank you, Jane. - Good luck. 684 00:56:42,810 --> 00:56:45,130 Joe, Myra, 685 00:56:45,230 --> 00:56:47,690 I just wanna say, whatever happens, whoever wins... 686 00:56:47,810 --> 00:56:50,090 Hey, save it for the French. 687 00:56:52,410 --> 00:56:56,730 The cars have started, lined up, and are ready to roll on the last lap. 688 00:56:56,810 --> 00:56:59,490 They're off! Frankenstein... Holy Chrysler! 689 00:56:59,590 --> 00:57:02,090 Joe has just scored his own pit crew! 690 00:57:02,170 --> 00:57:06,490 You lousy sons of bitches! That'll teach you! 691 00:57:06,970 --> 00:57:10,730 "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo, that funny man from Chicago, 692 00:57:10,810 --> 00:57:14,290 has scored his own mechanics for 40 points, 693 00:57:14,370 --> 00:57:18,210 and is off to catch Calamity Jane and Frankenstein. 694 00:57:26,370 --> 00:57:29,330 Screw you, Joe Viterbo, and your mother! 695 00:57:29,410 --> 00:57:33,170 We'll see who gets to New L.A. first, with the highest score too. 696 00:57:33,250 --> 00:57:35,570 It's coming up on the left. 697 00:57:35,670 --> 00:57:38,730 Forget it. I'm keeping Frankie in my sights. 698 00:57:38,830 --> 00:57:41,810 He's got five minutes on us, and he's stretching it. 699 00:57:41,890 --> 00:57:45,050 So what? If there's trouble up ahead, he'll find it first. 700 00:57:45,170 --> 00:57:50,250 Oh, yeah. Take a look at your face. You'll find it first. 701 00:57:51,290 --> 00:57:54,050 You know, Myra, some people might think you're cute. 702 00:57:54,170 --> 00:57:57,810 But me, I think you're one very large baked potato. 703 00:57:57,890 --> 00:58:01,170 Roaring down Motorway 66 towards California, 704 00:58:01,250 --> 00:58:04,130 Frankenstein looks certain to be first across the line. 705 00:58:04,230 --> 00:58:08,370 But Machine Gun Joe is still way ahead on points, 706 00:58:08,470 --> 00:58:12,490 and he could win the race even by arriving second in New Los Angeles. 707 00:58:12,570 --> 00:58:15,570 What's your prediction, Grace? 708 00:58:15,650 --> 00:58:21,010 You know, Junior, when Machine Gun Joe was just a little boy in Chicago, 709 00:58:21,130 --> 00:58:25,610 he had a pet snake that he used to love to ride over with his tricycle. 710 01:00:12,850 --> 01:00:17,730 - Break out the thermos of hi-pro drink. - Coming right up. 711 01:00:40,650 --> 01:00:44,690 - Here. I didn't mean to hog it all. - Thanks. What flavor is it? 712 01:00:44,770 --> 01:00:47,930 - Vanilla. - Hm. Not my favorite. 713 01:00:52,250 --> 01:00:55,130 This isn't vanilla. It's peach or something. 714 01:00:55,230 --> 01:00:59,170 Yeah, well, my taste buds got wiped out in the crash of '97. 715 01:00:59,250 --> 01:01:03,850 It's a good thing mine that are still intact. At least the French can't poison us. 716 01:01:07,690 --> 01:01:09,890 What's Frankenstein's location now? 717 01:01:10,010 --> 01:01:14,610 He's about 50 miles out, Lieutenant, and coming fast. 718 01:01:17,650 --> 01:01:21,610 Goodbye, Mrs. Paine. When you see me again, Frankenstein will be my prisoner 719 01:01:21,710 --> 01:01:24,170 and the country will know we must be taken seriously. 720 01:01:24,290 --> 01:01:28,130 - Fury, wait. I'm coming with you. - No, Mrs. Paine, it's too dangerous. 721 01:01:28,230 --> 01:01:30,810 Nonsense. I've waited 20 years for this moment. 722 01:01:30,890 --> 01:01:32,730 I know I can't join you on the mission, 723 01:01:32,810 --> 01:01:36,290 but I want to see you pull it off with my own eyes. 724 01:01:37,810 --> 01:01:42,010 Couple of turnoffs coming up. What's the quickest way to New L.A.? 725 01:01:42,130 --> 01:01:46,250 - That's funny. - What? 726 01:01:46,330 --> 01:01:49,610 I can't... I can't seem to focus my eyes on the map. 727 01:01:49,710 --> 01:01:53,930 I think we stay on 7... I feel like I'm gonna pass out. 728 01:01:54,890 --> 01:01:56,970 Look at that. 729 01:01:59,570 --> 01:02:03,130 - It's them, isn't it? - Please... please, stop the car. 730 01:02:03,210 --> 01:02:06,010 Sorry. We're in a race. 731 01:02:14,810 --> 01:02:19,050 Frankenstein, stop right now. We wanna talk to you. 732 01:02:19,890 --> 01:02:23,370 Stop before I force you to. 733 01:02:34,690 --> 01:02:37,450 I'll bomb you to a halt if I have to. 734 01:02:49,250 --> 01:02:52,690 Annie, help me. Turn off the engine. 735 01:02:54,050 --> 01:02:58,090 Annie's dead, Mrs. Paine. He must have killed her. 736 01:02:59,210 --> 01:03:01,610 Now I'm really going to let him have it. 737 01:03:10,650 --> 01:03:14,010 Look at that. The rebels are sure giving it to Frankenstein. 738 01:03:14,090 --> 01:03:18,410 Thank you, rebels. Mary, I think we got this race won. 739 01:03:18,490 --> 01:03:21,090 - Aren't we gonna help him? - Are you nuts or something? 740 01:03:21,170 --> 01:03:26,650 I'm getting my ass out of here before they make an emergency landing. Sit down. 741 01:03:26,730 --> 01:03:28,650 Attagirl. 742 01:05:16,170 --> 01:05:18,170 Well, America, there you have it. 743 01:05:18,290 --> 01:05:21,930 Frankenstein has just been attacked by the French air force, 744 01:05:22,010 --> 01:05:24,330 and he's whipped their derrières. 745 01:05:24,410 --> 01:05:27,890 His point total for this one'll be something astronomical. 746 01:05:27,990 --> 01:05:30,250 Machine Gun Joe better watch out. 747 01:05:36,410 --> 01:05:39,290 - Right on schedule. - Hey, what happened? 748 01:05:39,370 --> 01:05:41,490 I slipped you a 30-minute sleepex. 749 01:05:41,570 --> 01:05:44,370 Didn't want you doing something we would both regret. 750 01:05:44,450 --> 01:05:45,610 Did they attack us? 751 01:05:45,710 --> 01:05:48,890 According to the radio, we were attacked by the French air force. 752 01:05:48,970 --> 01:05:51,090 Was the plane shot down? 753 01:05:51,170 --> 01:05:54,250 Even those Swiss doctors couldn't have helped them. 754 01:05:54,330 --> 01:05:59,130 I'm sorry. I know they were your people. But I can't let anything stop me now. 755 01:05:59,250 --> 01:06:01,530 They didn't expect you to give up easily. 756 01:06:01,610 --> 01:06:04,810 They were prepared for whatever happened. 757 01:06:04,890 --> 01:06:06,530 Oh, my God, you've been hit! 758 01:06:06,610 --> 01:06:08,930 I'll make it. 759 01:06:09,890 --> 01:06:13,410 I'm sorry things worked out this way. 760 01:06:13,530 --> 01:06:16,890 - It's not over yet. - I'm afraid it is. 761 01:06:16,970 --> 01:06:17,730 Hey! 762 01:06:47,170 --> 01:06:49,090 What the hell do you think you're doing? 763 01:06:49,210 --> 01:06:51,610 It doesn't make any difference what happens to me. 764 01:06:51,710 --> 01:06:55,130 That is the dumbest, sorriest thing I've ever heard you say. 765 01:06:55,250 --> 01:06:59,370 I don't believe you've got a drop of Thomasina Paine's blood in your body. 766 01:06:59,450 --> 01:07:03,090 The minute things get rough, you close your eyes and try to drive us off a cliff. 767 01:07:03,210 --> 01:07:07,210 If you'd just stop trying to kill me for a minute, I need your help. 768 01:07:07,330 --> 01:07:10,290 How can you possibly expect me to help you? 769 01:07:10,370 --> 01:07:11,930 You're my navigator. 770 01:07:12,010 --> 01:07:14,530 You're the only one who knows where you're going. 771 01:07:14,630 --> 01:07:17,210 I mean, whose side are you on anyway? 772 01:07:17,290 --> 01:07:20,370 I thought the only thing you cared about was winning the race. 773 01:07:20,450 --> 01:07:25,330 Sure. Only the winner of the race gets to shake hands with Mr. President. 774 01:07:25,930 --> 01:07:28,330 - Is that a grenade? - A hand grenade. 775 01:07:28,410 --> 01:07:34,170 That handshake is all I've lived for for as long as I can remember. 776 01:07:34,250 --> 01:07:37,730 No, wait a minute. I don't want you to die. 777 01:07:41,090 --> 01:07:42,610 It's my life's work. 778 01:08:21,930 --> 01:08:24,410 Why do you wanna win this race so bad? 779 01:08:24,530 --> 01:08:27,890 Why do I wanna win this race? In the name of hate. 780 01:08:27,970 --> 01:08:29,890 One big victory for hate. 781 01:10:06,370 --> 01:10:09,250 Give me your hand. Give me your hand! 782 01:10:24,210 --> 01:10:27,850 - Hey, stop. Will you stop the car? - Shut up! What is that? 783 01:10:27,930 --> 01:10:33,210 It's a hand. Will you stop the goddamn car? Stop the car! 784 01:10:43,850 --> 01:10:47,330 You're going to have to shift the gears for me now. 785 01:10:47,430 --> 01:10:49,730 The only thing that worries me 786 01:10:49,830 --> 01:10:53,170 is how am I going to shake hands with Mr. President? 787 01:10:53,250 --> 01:10:56,250 Mr. President's the one who should be worried now. 788 01:11:15,210 --> 01:11:20,210 He's coming! Can you hear that engine? Still in perfect tune. 789 01:11:20,290 --> 01:11:24,410 Here he is - the one and only three-time winner 790 01:11:24,530 --> 01:11:28,930 and sole survivor of the 20th annual Transcontinental Road Race, 791 01:11:29,050 --> 01:11:32,570 none other than Frankenstein himself! 792 01:11:33,530 --> 01:11:35,170 And now Mr. President. 793 01:11:35,250 --> 01:11:37,650 Our enemy, the French, 794 01:11:37,770 --> 01:11:42,250 have destroyed nearly all our gallant racers. 795 01:11:42,370 --> 01:11:46,570 Just as they have crippled our once-great economy, 796 01:11:46,670 --> 01:11:49,450 and wrecked our telephone system. 797 01:11:49,570 --> 01:11:53,210 But even they, in all their evil power, 798 01:11:53,290 --> 01:11:56,570 were not able to destroy Frankenstein, 799 01:11:56,650 --> 01:12:00,410 who is the embodiment of our national virtue 800 01:12:00,490 --> 01:12:03,730 and therefore indestructible. 801 01:12:03,850 --> 01:12:09,130 It is fitting that Frankenstein should be the one chosen by your president 802 01:12:09,210 --> 01:12:13,530 to lead you in this war against the French which I now decree. 803 01:12:16,490 --> 01:12:19,850 Frankenstein has been shot! There is a French spy in our midst! 804 01:12:19,970 --> 01:12:22,730 Guards, seize that woman! 805 01:12:22,830 --> 01:12:25,690 Frankenstein, are you all right? 806 01:12:36,930 --> 01:12:38,090 Annie! 807 01:12:41,330 --> 01:12:43,050 Frankenstein... 808 01:13:07,250 --> 01:13:12,130 Frankenstein! Frankenstein! Frankenstein! Frankenstein! Frankenstein! 809 01:13:12,230 --> 01:13:15,570 Frankenstein! Frankenstein! Frankenstein! Frankenstein! 810 01:13:24,210 --> 01:13:29,210 Mr. And Mrs. President Frankenstein - dear friends of mine - 811 01:13:29,310 --> 01:13:31,890 can you tell us what your first official acts will be? 812 01:13:31,970 --> 01:13:35,810 I plan to pension off the secret police, restore free elections, 813 01:13:35,890 --> 01:13:39,930 end minority privilege, and move the seat of government back to New Los Angeles. 814 01:13:40,050 --> 01:13:41,930 We've been governed from abroad long enough. 815 01:13:42,050 --> 01:13:47,610 Mr. President, is it true that you are now accepting rebels into your government? 816 01:13:47,690 --> 01:13:51,450 Well, since I have accepted one into my house... 817 01:13:51,530 --> 01:13:55,490 President Frankenstein has appointed my great-grandmother, Thomasina Paine, 818 01:13:55,570 --> 01:13:59,890 in view of her experience in the field, as the minister for domestic security. 819 01:13:59,990 --> 01:14:03,730 And I plan to deal very harshly with rebels. 820 01:14:03,810 --> 01:14:09,490 Anybody who is unhappy with happiness can go find someplace else to live. 821 01:14:09,570 --> 01:14:12,050 - What about the race? - The race is abolished. 822 01:14:12,150 --> 01:14:13,970 - Abolished? - That's right. 823 01:14:14,090 --> 01:14:18,290 We feel that the country no longer needs this gratuitous display of violence 824 01:14:18,410 --> 01:14:20,890 to show the world that its virility is still intact. 825 01:14:20,970 --> 01:14:26,650 Mr. President, isn't it true that as a racer your popularity depended on violence? 826 01:14:26,730 --> 01:14:31,530 I'm afraid I shall have to let my press secretary answer that question. 827 01:14:31,610 --> 01:14:34,770 Stop annoying Mr. President with impertinent questions, Junior. 828 01:14:34,890 --> 01:14:36,890 It's the race, man. 829 01:14:37,010 --> 01:14:39,770 President Frankenstein, you can't call off the race. 830 01:14:39,890 --> 01:14:41,890 The American people won't stand for it! 831 01:14:41,970 --> 01:14:44,010 Get out of the way, Junior. 832 01:14:44,090 --> 01:14:48,490 The race is the symbol of everything we hold dear - our American way of life. 833 01:14:48,610 --> 01:14:51,170 Sure, it's violent. But that's the way we love it. 834 01:14:51,290 --> 01:14:54,650 Violent, violent, violent. And that's why we love you! 835 01:14:54,730 --> 01:14:57,050 Frank, do we have to listen to this? 836 01:14:57,130 --> 01:14:58,290 No. 837 01:15:07,210 --> 01:15:09,890 As to this matter of violence. 838 01:15:09,990 --> 01:15:14,490 The technique of violence was first developed in 2.000.000 BC 839 01:15:14,570 --> 01:15:16,610 by the Australopithecines. 840 01:15:16,690 --> 01:15:20,930 A tribe of four-foot primates who had no brains to speak of. 841 01:15:21,010 --> 01:15:26,090 But who. Nevertheless. Invented the tomahawk and used it on each other. 842 01:15:26,210 --> 01:15:31,570 This practice led to the enlargement of the brain - another useful weapon. 843 01:15:31,650 --> 01:15:36,650 Yes. Murder was invented even before man began to think. 844 01:15:36,750 --> 01:15:42,410 Now. of course. Man has become known as the thinking animal.