1
00:00:06,298 --> 00:00:07,817
The latest Super Tuesday polls are in.

2
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,709
You're up three in Texas.
Eight in North Carolina.

3
00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:12,634
- Up two in Massachusetts.
- Ooh! Nice!

4
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:15,759
Then we fly back to Virginia tonight,
pop into Alabama on the way,

5
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,762
and then a quick stop in Oklahoma City
for an hour-and-a-half rally.

6
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,310
Mmm. That's an hour
and 29 minutes too long

7
00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:23,388
in that former Indian
concentration camp.

8
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,919
BEN: Looks like Kemi's got full
protection from the Secret Service.

9
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:28,276
What kind of affirmative action
bullshit is that?

10
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,570
Here's your speech, ma'am.
I dumbed it down even more.

11
00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:32,318
Good, 'cause the last one looked like

12
00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,865
the toilet bowl after
William F. Buckley ate a thesaurus.

13
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:36,818
Kemi has been getting
some death threats.

14
00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:39,950
Well, then we should leak
some of my death threats, okay?

15
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,100
I mean, I get some, don't I?

16
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,285
- Oh, yeah.
- So many.

17
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,395
Here's a couple that came in
while you were on the plane.

18
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,581
"I'm gonna break your fat arms
and strangle you..."

19
00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:48,538
Wait. I don't have fat arms.

20
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:51,215
(LAUGHS) That's just criminally insane
and regular insane.

21
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:53,154
- Pick another one. A plausible one.
- GARY: Yeah.

22
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,573
LEON: "Someone should put a bullet
in your shriveled old face."

23
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,088
No!

24
00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:59,845
Just make up some death threats
that are nicer.

25
00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:01,204
Okay, I'll come up with a dozen.

26
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:04,016
Wait a minute. Before I go onstage,
where are we now?

27
00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,722
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

28
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:09,275
- I wanna say the South?
- Uh, well...

29
00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:11,068
- Gary, go find out where we are.
- Yeah.

30
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,272
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

31
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,762
LEON: Ma'am, there is
a small change to the speech.

32
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,573
We no longer use the Rosa story.

33
00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:21,266
What are you talking about?
It kills every time.

34
00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:22,290
- Tears!
- I know.

35
00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:24,366
- Rosa was deported this morning.
- SELINA: Hi!

36
00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:26,451
They identified her
from details in your speech.

37
00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:28,707
Well, that's impossible,
because I made her up.

38
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:31,835
Well, no, actually, ma'am,
there's a Rosa Sanchez in Tennessee

39
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,759
who has four kids
and the exact same dead-end jobs.

40
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,256
Oh, my God, you conjured her!

41
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:38,178
Yeah, right out of
my Stephen Glass-hole.

42
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,473
- Oklahoma City!
- REPORTER: Madam President!

43
00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:42,596
Any comment that
a federal grand jury in New York

44
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,706
is getting ready to indict
your husband, Andrew Meyer?

45
00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,541
- He's my ex-husband.
- Can you respond to a rumor

46
00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:49,478
that he's hired a new legal team
and is making a deal with prosecutors?

47
00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:52,732
I can't hear you, so you're
gonna have to repeat that.

48
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:55,091
- You have to repeat it.
- That can only mean one thing, ma'am.

49
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,356
Andrew's gonna flip on you.

50
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,157
God damn it!

51
00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,700
Tell my attorney to meet me in

52
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,472
- the next filler state we're in.
- (CROWD CHANTING)

53
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:03,488
'Cause last I heard,
you can't run for office

54
00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,393
- and be in prison.
- BEN: Oh, maybe in the House you can.

55
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,875
Ma'am, this Andrew thing
is everywhere.

56
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,874
Your unfavorables are rising
past "accidental ethnic slur"

57
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:13,172
- right into "men's room incident."
- Oh, God.

58
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,124
Catherine? Okay.

59
00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,071
(SHUSHES) This is the face
of clinical depression, ma'am.

60
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,586
With the hair of a mental patient.

61
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,137
Oh, my kingdom for a barrette.

62
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:23,591
Listen, honey, um,
Daddy is in hiding again,

63
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,847
and I know he calls you
to borrow money sometimes...

64
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,803
Fight your own battles, Mother, okay?

65
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,309
I'm really struggling right now.

66
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:30,606
SELINA: Okay, you know what,

67
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:33,150
if anyone should
be depressed, it's me,

68
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,523
but I am stable as fuck.

69
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:36,650
(LAUGHING) Yeah, you are!

70
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,357
- Your lawyer's waiting.
- Karen!

71
00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:41,943
- Madam President!
- Oh, I'm glad to see you.

72
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:45,405
- You, too.
- Andrew might be cutting a deal,

73
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,365
which would just destroy me.

74
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:48,995
I have to stop you there, ma'am.

75
00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:51,874
Andrew has hired me
as his new attorney.

76
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,420
Oh! Thank God.

77
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,624
So you can talk him
out of this deal, right?

78
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:58,004
But it's a very good deal. For him.

79
00:02:58,095 --> 00:02:59,631
- Karen,
- (LAUGHS)

80
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,929
you understand that

81
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,883
when I am elected president again,

82
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:08,720
I can issue Andrew a full pardon.

83
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:11,101
- Right?
- Ugh. I wish you hadn't told me that.

84
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,228
- And yet I'm also glad that you did.
- Ah.

85
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:16,061
I might be able to use it against you.
(CHUCKLES)

86
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,736
I wouldn't, unless I have to.

87
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,152
Well, this has been a dry fuck
on a sandy beach.

88
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:23,304
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) It's always
a pleasure to see you as well.

89
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,320
Sure. Okay, well, listen,

90
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:28,248
will you tell Andrew that I'm gonna be
in New York on Friday?

91
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:31,246
So he can just
come and talk to me directly.

92
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:33,953
I can't advise my client
to do that, but I might.

93
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,413
Oh, God.

94
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:37,248
Any luck with the human Möbius strip?

95
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,945
- (DOOR CLOSES)
- Andrew's cutting a deal.

96
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,301
I could go to jail.

97
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:41,673
I don't look good in jumpsuits.

98
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,470
I mean, I do, but I don't. You know.

99
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:44,784
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- SELINA: What?

100
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:46,845
Ma'am, we've got incoming.

101
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,696
I've got a buddy at <i>WaPo</i> who's working
on a story about South Carolina

102
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,979
and possible foreign
election interference.

103
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,727
Okay, first of all,

104
00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:56,651
call it the <i>Washington Post</i>
like a non-asshole,

105
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,024
and I don't know anything
about foreign interference,

106
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:00,980
and stop staring at me
like I'm some sort of

107
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,815
teenage runaway
that you just strangled.

108
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,445
Yes, ma'am.

109
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:05,868
Oh, my God.

110
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:06,954
First Andrew,

111
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:09,701
and now this <i>Washington Post</i>
Chinese thing?

112
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:11,157
I mean, my God,

113
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,334
this is like having
two different Senators

114
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,252
with their hands up my skirt.

115
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:18,797
Which actually happened to me once
during a Supreme Court confirmation.

116
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:22,173
Without going into any, uh,
legally incriminating detail, ma'am,

117
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,594
how deep are you?

118
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,717
Keith Quinn is working
with the Chinese.

119
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:26,807
BEN: Wait, so Quinn

120
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:29,509
- is the in-house Chinese asset?
- Yeah.

121
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,330
- I thought it was Kent.
- I assumed it was you.

122
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:33,186
What's our play moving forward here?

123
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,185
The Joseph Goebbels playbook.

124
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:37,851
Accuse the other side of that
which you are guilty.

125
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:39,560
Steal from the best.

126
00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:41,340
You need to get rid
of that Chinese money, ma'am.

127
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,105
- Gary?
- (DOOR OPENS)

128
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,113
Just book me on
the friendliest news show possible.

129
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:47,364
Copy that. Mike it is.

130
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:51,038
Okay, Gary, you need to spend
every dime in the space-based...

131
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,491
- Faith-based.
- Mmm-hmm. On religious shit.

132
00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,793
- ASAP.
- I don't know how to do that.

133
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,586
I don't even know how it got there.

134
00:04:57,672 --> 00:05:01,211
Just give it to one of those
gay-converting Baptist colleges

135
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:04,169
to fund a statue
of a gold-plated Jesus

136
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,470
- fucking a triceratops.
- Wow!

137
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,548
AMY: All right,
Congressman Slender Man.

138
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,053
Don't say his name.

139
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,996
Now that Florida has moved
its primary to Super Tuesday,

140
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:13,998
we are going to stay here
and focus all of our efforts.

141
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:16,389
No, I told Beth
that we could go to Arkansas

142
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,127
so she could give me
a hand job in a hot spring.

143
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,267
It's my birthday.

144
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:23,230
Your particular brand of crazy
is polling very high here in Florida,

145
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,940
especially with
melanoma-loving swamp fuckers,

146
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,650
storm-ravaged climate deniers,

147
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,952
and deadbeat dads and deadbeat moms.

148
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:31,119
Those are my peeps.

149
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,072
So we are launching

150
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,873
a brand-new fundraising initiative.

151
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,452
Next month, donate $38

152
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:41,039
for Jonah Ryan's 38th birthday.

153
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:42,132
Thirty-eight dollars?

154
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:43,217
That's like a shitty gift

155
00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,862
that you get from
your asshole grandmother.

156
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,548
If Selina Meyer did this,

157
00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:48,095
she'd get, like, a thousand dollars

158
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,534
because she's, like,
a thousand years old.

159
00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:50,890
Selina would kill to be 38.

160
00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:53,093
She's been lying
about her age for years.

161
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,997
- Whatever. I'd still do her.
- I'm down to clown.

162
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,978
Holy shit, Brookheimer,
when you get an abortion,

163
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,126
you're supposed to leave
the mangled fetus at the clinic,

164
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,437
not staple it to the skeleton
of a gay condor

165
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:02,644
and run it for president.

166
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:04,603
- Well, hello, darling.
- Hi.

167
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:08,157
What Saudi prince's rape dungeon
did you finger-trowel your way out of?

168
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:12,954
- Uh, Jonah's rape dungeon?
- (LAUGHING) In your face!

169
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,226
All right, anyway, I have
the pleasure of informing you,

170
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,290
Congressman Slender Man...

171
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:17,854
- Mmm-mmm.
- AMY: Nope, beat you to it.

172
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,376
Oh, shit. All right.

173
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:20,998
Our government has assigned you

174
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:23,251
your very own Secret Service detail.

175
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,378
- Whoa. What?
- Special Agent Youngblood!

176
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,755
<i>Youngblood?</i>
Oh, that's my favorite Rob Lowe movie.

177
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,553
Congressman Ryan, it's an honor.

178
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,551
Oh, yeah! This is like
looking in a mirror.

179
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,258
- Yeah, a hot mirror.
- I'll be right outside, sir.

180
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,372
Chances are you're still
likely to get assassinated,

181
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,012
but the killer,
may God guide his hand,

182
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,722
will just have to work
a little harder.

183
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,252
Oh, hey, can I get some
of that body armor?

184
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:43,689
Sincerest congratulations
on all your life choices, Amy.

185
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,314
Thank you. It pays quite well.

186
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,738
Have a good weepy slide
down the shower wall this evening.

187
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:48,985
We gotta go.

188
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,304
Will's got a full day ahead of him.
Tell 'em what you gotta do, Will.

189
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:53,615
Uh, I was hoping to finally finish
my passion project.

190
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:54,705
Which is?

191
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,997
Rerouting my urethra
to behind my balls

192
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,291
so that I have to sit to pee
like a real girl.

193
00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:01,289
- (GUFFAWS)
- WILL: Goodbye, Amy, Jonah.

194
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,899
- Bye, Will.
- Very nice to meet you, Mrs. Ryan.

195
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,123
REPORTER: Mayor Splett,
do you consider yourself a hero?

196
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:08,339
- (CLAMORING)
- Sit your hawk asses down!

197
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,090
Not you, Richard.

198
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:12,797
I'm gonna pick one of you
minimum-wage media monkeys

199
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:15,133
to ask three pre-approved questions,
pre-written by me,

200
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,079
and she's gonna owe me
for the rest of her life.

201
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,823
And yes, I said "she,"
and I don't mean you.

202
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,477
Well, I'd say I got here
not a moment too soon.

203
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,927
Because President Meyer fired you?

204
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:27,569
All right, look, Richard, we have
an incredible opportunity here.

205
00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:29,634
I mean, the entire country
thinks that you're a hero.

206
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,490
Except for the 7-Eleven truthers.

207
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:34,176
They say that no Jewish people
were working in the store that day,

208
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:36,196
but there's no Jewish people
in Lurlene, so...

209
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,201
DAN: Richard, you need
a chief of staff

210
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,019
- that has real D.C. experience.
- (DOOR OPENS)

211
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,659
Mr. Mayor, the lieutenant governor

212
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,370
still wants to set up a time
for your award ceremony.

213
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,252
Oh, Willa, this is Dan Egan,
my new Chief of Staff.

214
00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:48,342
Sure.

215
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,634
Uh, Dan, there's no easy way
to say this,

216
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,007
but, uh, given your reputation,

217
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:56,011
there's no dipping your quill
in the company ink.

218
00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:57,683
- Copy that.
- I mean sex.

219
00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,226
- Got it.
- By that, I mean Willa.

220
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:02,180
MIKE: <i>I wouldn't be doing myjob,
Madam President,</i>

221
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:04,085
<i>if I didn't ask the question
that's on everybody's mind.</i>

222
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:05,461
<i>- Is that a new hairstyle?</i>
- (LAUGHS)

223
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,943
<i>And your ex-husband Andrew
is about to be indicted</i>

224
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,861
in the Southern District of New York.

225
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,655
Which is not a question, actually.

226
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:14,108
Well, what we really
should be talking about

227
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,989
is Senator Talbot's husband

228
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:18,571
and the longstanding
accusations against him.

229
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,351
- GARY: Mmm-hmm.
- Oh. Well, let's go with that one.

230
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:22,742
- That sounds juicy.
- Plus his tax evasion.

231
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,203
Wait, Senator Talbot's husband
is cheating on his taxes?

232
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:26,649
Well, that's what people are saying.

233
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,005
How is nobody looking into this?

234
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,527
I mean, why isn't
the press covering this?

235
00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,042
Are they biased against you?

236
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,549
Well, you said it, not me,
but I also say it.

237
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:36,722
You know, it's getting so you can't
believe anything the media says

238
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:38,720
<i>- about anyone's husband!</i>
- MIKE: <i>Yeah!</i>

239
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:40,676
It's really a treat for me
to come on a show

240
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,978
that's fair and impartial.

241
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:45,351
- (LAUGHS) When does this air?
- Well, it's streaming now.

242
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:47,775
Oh, I see. And what time will that be?

243
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,228
Now, you're going to lead off
with a nod

244
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:51,590
to the anti-vaccination movement.

245
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,050
Yeah, why go to the doctor
and get a shot

246
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:54,440
for something you don't even have?

247
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,493
Yeah, I didn't get Clay vaccinated
because it causes autism,

248
00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,056
and now he just has
a little bit of autism.

249
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,366
Yeah, and when I was a kid,

250
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:01,868
they said the best case scenario

251
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,244
- was I had autism.
- Mmm-hmm.

252
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:05,701
- Fucking look at me now.
- Don't use that line up there.

253
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:08,128
Don't yell at him, 'cause
loud noises make him flip out.

254
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,192
- Rick, there's a gun in the front row.
- BETH: Where? Jonah?

255
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,457
(LAUGHING)

256
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,987
- Made you look!
- MAN: Ladies and gentlemen...

257
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,811
- AMY: You're on!
- Wish me luck, meat shield.

258
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,847
- MAN:...<i>Jonah Ryan!</i>
- How you doing, Clearwater!

259
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:21,721
<i>Right. If I could digress
from my prepared remarks...</i>

260
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:22,972
How would anyone know?

261
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:26,306
<i>...I want to talk about my opponent,
"President" Selina Meyer.</i>

262
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,732
- (ALL BOOING)
- JONAH: <i>Has anybody noticed</i>

263
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,559
<i>that she's been, like,
55 years old forever?</i>

264
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,089
- (CROWD LAUGHS)
<i>- Yeah, I mean, come on,</i>

265
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,105
<i>she is totally lying
about her age, right?</i>

266
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,199
MAN: Kill her!

267
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,990
<i>Yeah, I mean, sure, maybe.</i>

268
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,820
<i>I mean, how old are you
really, Selina Meyer, huh?</i>

269
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,950
- CROWD: Yeah!
<i>- When are you from?</i>

270
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,158
<i>When are you from?</i>

271
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:49,120
ALL: (CHANTING) When are you from?
When are you from?

272
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,001
When are you from?

273
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,923
<i>When are you from?</i>

274
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,716
They have an actual crowd there?

275
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:58,422
What, are they giving away
free Tommy Bahama dick cozies?

276
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:00,381
BEN: Ma'am, this is not a big deal.

277
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:01,955
Just show 'em your birth certificate.

278
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,537
While we're at it,
why don't we show 'em

279
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,302
my estrogen patch prescription

280
00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:07,763
- and a Polaroid of my stretch marks?
- (TV SWITCHES OFF)

281
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,189
You mean your wisdom stripes.

282
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:12,063
I have always been
open and transparent

283
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,339
- about how old I am.
- GARY: Mmm-hmm.

284
00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:15,650
- Yeah, 55.
- I believe it's 53.

285
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,527
- Late 40s.
- You're all correct.

286
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,153
Well, look who cleans up nice.

287
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,471
Can I get a quick fiver, Madam P?

288
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,487
Yeah. Oh, Gary, that reminds me,

289
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,572
I need to switch out
my estrogen patch.

290
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:27,066
Mmm. Should I slip in a little swirl
of progesterone for you?

291
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,244
- You can surprise me.
- Yep. Oh!

292
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,203
- Ma'am, uh, you...
- Yeah.

293
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:34,165
It's fine. They know everything.

294
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:36,592
Me so complicit. Me go jail long time.

295
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:39,671
All right! The <i>Houston Chronicle</i>
is reporting that Kemi voters

296
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:42,222
have somehow got the idea
that if they vote in the primaries,

297
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,800
they're gonna get an IRS audit.
(LAUGHING)

298
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,391
(SELINA CHUCKLES)

299
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,894
Keith, I don't want to know
how you did that.

300
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,146
Oh, well, Facebook'll
walk you through it step by step.

301
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,979
You know what? Maybe it's best
if you don't update us so much.

302
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:58,280
- But there is just one other matter.
- SELINA: Okay.

303
00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:01,780
Dissident poet Deng Dao
has been arrested for...

304
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,032
Well, they'll figure it out
after they shoot him.

305
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,266
What does that have to do with me?

306
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,122
As the woman who freed Tibet,

307
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,621
I'm guessing they'll want you
to support them publicly.

308
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:13,671
Okay, Keith, as much as I hate poetry,

309
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,372
I'm not gonna do that.

310
00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:17,753
Yeah, until this <i>Washington Post</i> thing
blows over,

311
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:18,884
we're gonna keep our wangs

312
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,590
out of your Chinese
fucking finger trap.

313
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,887
Yeah, right.

314
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:23,339
All right, I'll tell them.

315
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,299
They insist on hearing
bad news right away.

316
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:28,557
- Fine.
- Oh, uh, and if you talk to your ex,

317
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,059
you might want to ask him
about his business with China.

318
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,858
- What?
- See what he says.

319
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:39,730
Is Andrew tied in with the Chinese?

320
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:43,818
I... I don't know. I mean,
he's always had a thing for Asians.

321
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:47,030
So do I, but if Andrew starts
talking to the grand jury about,

322
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,659
you know, you and China...

323
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:51,868
This was supposed to be
just a little simple bit

324
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:54,453
of election-rigging!

325
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,663
Fuck!

326
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:56,793
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

327
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,125
I have your estrogen patch,
if you'd like.

328
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:02,132
You wear it. Maybe you'll grow
some hair on your vagina!

329
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,222
Hmm.

330
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,764
<i>...March Wheelright Medal of Bravery.
Mayor Richard Splett of Lurlene</i>

331
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:10,685
<i>demonstrated remarkable heroism...</i>

332
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,354
Look at that.
I'm telling you, Richard,

333
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,181
this is just the beginning, all right?

334
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,642
Oh! Sidney Purcell.

335
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,728
Of all the mid-priced
steakhouse chains

336
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,153
in northeastern Iowa...

337
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,051
Oh, sorry. Mayor Splett,
this is Sidney Purcell.

338
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,657
He represents the very good people

339
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,655
at Con-Ag-Chem Family Farms.

340
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,361
Ah, well, this man
needs no introduction.

341
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,287
Please, the 7-Eleven mayor himself.

342
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,769
- Oh, would you care to join us?
- Yeah, I don't mind if I do.

343
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,034
That's a great idea.

344
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:36,040
You know, I'm actually really glad
that I happened to run into you.

345
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:38,588
There is a vote coming up
in the state Senate,

346
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:42,009
- uh, regarding pesticide regulations.
- Oh, that's right.

347
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,257
And there's an empty seat up there.

348
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:45,699
Do you know anything about pesticides?

349
00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:46,884
Not as much as I'd like.

350
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,410
That empty seat in the state Senate,

351
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:49,641
it could be yours.

352
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:51,138
You know, down at the feed store

353
00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:52,936
they're saying your new seeds
cause cancer.

354
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,730
Well, we've paid for seven studies
that say that it doesn't.

355
00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,934
- Seven? Wow.
- Yeah, seven. Lucky sevens.

356
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,067
That's good enough for me.
Can't argue with science.

357
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,715
I'm gonna get some drinks.
You guys stay here,

358
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:02,841
talk, get to know each other.

359
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,760
You know what I want, right, Dan?
What do you want, Mayor?

360
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,150
I want to read those reports.

361
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,821
I'm sorry, um,
you look so familiar to me.

362
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:13,407
Did, uh... Did we...

363
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:17,040
Oh, no! I'm an ob-gyn.

364
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,709
You brought a woman into my clinic

365
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,791
to have her pregnancy terminated.

366
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,279
Could you be a little more specific?

367
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,530
I'm actually worried she might have

368
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,841
some sort of thyroid issue
because of her eyes.

369
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:29,173
- Oh! Amy.
- Yeah, Amy.

370
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:31,509
Reminds me, I gotta
Apple Pay her for my half.

371
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:34,219
- Hey, can I buy you a drink?
- You can buy me half a drink.

372
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,314
Oh.

373
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:36,897
(SELINA LAUGHING)

374
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,225
KEMI: (ON TV) <i>This is insane!</i>

375
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,422
<i>My husband has never done
an illegal thing in his life...</i>

376
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:42,982
<i>in his entire life!</i>

377
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,279
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)

378
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:50,281
When women fall apart,
they really fucking fall apart!

379
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:54,289
Did you take the coconut
out of my muesli

380
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,661
- for tomorrow morning?
- No. No.

381
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:57,062
And you know what you need to do?

382
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,497
You need to use tweezers this time

383
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:00,875
because I really thought
I could taste your fingers.

384
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,331
I'm sorry.

385
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:05,008
These, by the way,
are completely hideous.

386
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,505
- Catherine ordered those.
- Oh.

387
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:09,259
- Oh. (CHUCKLES) That's too much.
- It is.

388
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,556
- But thank you.
- What?

389
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:14,093
- Good evening, Lee. Got your message.
- Okay, yeah.

390
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,731
Wow, I've been trying
to track you down for days.

391
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:21,274
Hearing you say that
really takes me back.

392
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,477
(SCOFFS)

393
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:23,936
Okay. Out.

394
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:27,273
Excuse me. I have work to do.

395
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:30,280
Are you really trying to cut
a fucking deal here?

396
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,827
- Well...
- I mean, my God,

397
00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:34,621
do you understand this could
cost me the presidency, Andrew?

398
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,393
- I had no choice.
- Oh, that's what you said

399
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,283
about Catherine's
freshman year roommate.

400
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,791
She had done a gap year abroad.
She was not a true freshman.

401
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,291
And now,

402
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,999
I'm hearing about you and the Chinese?

403
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,905
That's funny, you're the third person
who's asked me about that this week,

404
00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:50,296
a US Attorney, a reporter
from the <i>Washington Post...</i>

405
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:51,909
Since when are you doing
business with them?

406
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:54,050
Actually, you.
Your name is all over...

407
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,413
I should have really married
that gay guy my mother liked.

408
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:57,518
A couple years ago,

409
00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,892
a few Beijing businessmen
approached me,

410
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,224
and they wanted
the investment expertise

411
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,401
of the former president's
disbarred ex-husband.

412
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:05,603
No big deal.

413
00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:08,188
And we cleaned
a teeny-tiny bit of money

414
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:10,774
through the Meyer Fund,
low nine figures.

415
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:13,656
And that faith-based thing
was a godsend.

416
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,487
Wait a minute. You know Keith Quinn?

417
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,948
I know him as Luther.
We met in Macau at the shark fights.

418
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,642
Do you want me
to take the raisins out...

419
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,376
- Out!
- Yep.

420
00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:22,873
Yes!

421
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,999
If we could find a fall guy...

422
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,254
Gary?

423
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:32,005
Honestly, I don't think
people are gonna buy

424
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:35,967
that a guy who calls vaginas
"crinkum-crankums"

425
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:39,599
is gonna be able to pull off some sort
of multi-million dollar fraud.

426
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:41,521
- Come on.
- Well, it, uh...

427
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:45,146
it would absolutely
destroy Catherine, but, um...

428
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:47,732
Marjorie?

429
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,356
That's kind of perfect.

430
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,407
Besides, women's prison.

431
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:54,109
Yeah. Wall-to-wall crinkum-crankum.

432
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,195
- I'm not touching you.
- AMY: Uh, okay.

433
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,225
- I'm not touching you.
- AMY: Thank you for looking into that.

434
00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:00,992
Jonah, we still need a copy
of your birth certificate

435
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,826
and the New Hampshire
Vital Records office

436
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,377
cannot find it, so...

437
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,922
Oh, yeah. No, that makes sense,
I was born in Toronto.

438
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:09,250
Toronto, Canada?

439
00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:11,960
I don't know, just cancel
the press conference.

440
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:13,295
Absolutely not!

441
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,972
Do you have any idea how crazy

442
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:19,142
all of this talk about Selina's age
must be making her?

443
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,561
We are turning the screws

444
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:26,438
on that miserable,
poultry-necked hag... (GASPS)

445
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:27,643
Jesus, Amy.

446
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:30,104
God, is that what
a real orgasm feels like?

447
00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:31,564
Ugh, do women have those?

448
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,273
That's what I've been telling you.

449
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:36,110
- All right, fine. I'll call my mom.
- Thank you.

450
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:37,973
Oh, and I should probably
call Rick's mom, too

451
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,225
just because she's probably
still pretty sore from last night

452
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,249
when I was all up in that

453
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:42,825
<i>Puss-ay-ay-yay</i>

454
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,535
<i>In that puss-ay-ay-yay</i>

455
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,746
<i>In that puss-ay</i>

456
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,439
Well, what are you gonna do about it?
Ah!

457
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,794
(CRASHES) Ow!

458
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:52,968
Marjorie? Love to talk to you
for a second about the Meyer Fund.

459
00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:54,948
There's something I'd like to
speak with you about as well.

460
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,533
- Oh, okay. Good.
- It's about Catherine.

461
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,357
I think you know
I'm a very traditional woman,

462
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,300
though I do seek
to topple the patriarchy

463
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:02,807
by queering hetero-normative tropes.

464
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:05,014
Are you talking about your outfit?

465
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,440
As I was saying,
I love your daughter very much.

466
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:11,646
I know that you do,
Marjorie, um, Palmiotti,

467
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,230
and I have to say that I love

468
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:15,177
the work that you do
on the Meyer Fund very much.

469
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,201
Thank you, ma'am.

470
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:20,325
Although I personally
don't know anything about it

471
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:23,953
because you're the complete mastermind
behind it, right?

472
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:29,046
I think I can see you
nodding your head "yes."

473
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,665
Are you recording
this conversation, ma'am?

474
00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,796
That is a bizarre thing to say.

475
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,843
Well, the flowers have been moved,

476
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:38,172
and Andrew's phone.

477
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:39,802
I refuse to allow you to implicate me

478
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,303
in your financial misdeeds, ma'am.

479
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,510
They're not misdeeds.

480
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:44,310
They were exploited opportunities.

481
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,480
- Oh, there's my phone.
- Yeah, she found it.

482
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,432
I'll spare Catherine
this shameful episode.

483
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:49,983
Despite the fact that you are

484
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,277
two of the most reprehensible people
I have ever met...

485
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,216
- Hang on a second.
- Where did that come from? Seriously.

486
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,404
...by some magical combination
of abuse and neglect

487
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,576
managed to create
the perfect daughter.

488
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:01,779
- Oh, well, thank you very much.
- And that's why...

489
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:04,142
I would like to ask both of you
for Catherine's hand in marriage.

490
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,907
Oh! Wow.

491
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:07,959
You have our blessing.

492
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:09,377
Yes, you have our blessing.

493
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:10,463
- Absolutely.
- Thank you.

494
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,609
- Thank you very much.
- Can I ask you a question, Marjorie?

495
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,920
- Of course, ma'am.
- Why would you buy that cow?

496
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,344
When I can get the milk for free.
Very good, ma'am.

497
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,173
- What?
- I'm leaving now. For the record.

498
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:21,507
It's... I'm not...

499
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:22,933
Oh, God.

500
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,933
- Lee?
- Mmm?

501
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:30,607
I honestly never thought
it would come to this,

502
00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:32,525
but I have had a suitcase packed

503
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:35,104
and ready to go by the door
for the last 20 years.

504
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,938
- What?
- I still have Mee-Maw's boat.

505
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,240
The <i>Labor Day?</i>

506
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:39,908
You told me it sank.

507
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:42,862
I told you I reported it sunk
to insurance.

508
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,992
And I could take it down to Cuba,
and from there,

509
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:48,166
you know I've long felt a deep
connection with the land of Israel

510
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:50,835
and their non-extradition treaty.

511
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:53,682
You can't just disappear, and I can't
have people thinking I'm Jewish.

512
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:55,360
We're right in the middle
of the primaries.

513
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:56,966
It's the best thing for both of us.

514
00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:59,010
The only thing they have on you is me.

515
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,593
Well, that's the most romantic thing
you've ever said to me.

516
00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:04,443
But I'm gonna need some
walking-around money.

517
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,969
Here we go. What...
I mean, how far do you have to walk?

518
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:09,888
Fuck!

519
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,439
I mean, can you give me 24 hours?

520
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:12,525
Yeah. Yes.

521
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,153
(EXHALES)

522
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:17,696
I guess this is goodbye.

523
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,523
I guess so.

524
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,116
Well...

525
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:23,410
Good-bye.

526
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,366
Hey, Andrew. What are you doing?

527
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,021
Oh, yeah, I should
probably go out the back door.

528
00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:32,045
Yeah.

529
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:35,122
Your false accusations
are working, ma'am.

530
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,627
Oh, then they're no longer false.

531
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:37,903
Basically a two-woman race to see

532
00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:39,839
who is less offensive
to the American people.

533
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:42,169
That's the best explanation
of democracy I've ever heard.

534
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:44,556
Also, they found Rosa Sanchez
in El Salvador.

535
00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:47,180
- Who?
- The fake real woman from your speech?

536
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:48,269
Just in the nick of time.

537
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,332
She was about to be stoned
by the local child army.

538
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:53,064
Okay, guys, um, last night...

539
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:56,359
I don't like when people feel
they have to get closer to talk to me.

540
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:59,358
It usually means I'm gonna be facing
a longer prison sentence.

541
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,656
- I saw Andrew...
- The prosecution rests.

542
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:05,827
We talked about a trip he might take
out of the country...

543
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,075
I will add tampering
to our list of charges.

544
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:11,784
But if we were able
to give him a going-away gift,

545
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:15,621
uh, he might be able
to turn it into a stay-cation.

546
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,877
- And bribery.
- Gary?

547
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,128
Yes, here.

548
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:22,086
How much is left
in that whole faith-space...

549
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,386
KENT: Faith-based.

550
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:26,510
I spent it all on Bibles
for the homeless.

551
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:31,345
You spent millions...

552
00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:32,771
Yes, yes, I did.

553
00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:35,440
...on leather-bound hobo toilet paper.

554
00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:38,439
Mmm. Oh, I hope they don't use
the New Testament for that.

555
00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:40,065
I need to speak with Keith Quinn.

556
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:42,068
- Did I do something wrong?
- Go.

557
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:43,569
Ma'am, not Keith Quinn.

558
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,195
Yes. What, do you have a better idea?

559
00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:46,993
- Yes, not Keith Quinn.
- No. Go.

560
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,991
- Ma'am, it's time.
- Oh. Okay. It's...

561
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,325
<i>I was an alcoholic,</i>

562
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:58,255
<i>I was in a relationship with a blonde,
uncaring, bug-eyed rage-aholic.</i>

563
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,127
<i>I used to work with someone
just like that.</i>

564
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:03,085
Oh, my gosh, folks,
our best friend of the show,

565
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:05,387
President Selina Meyer,
is on the line calling us today.

566
00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,135
- Hello?
<i>- Hello, Mike? How are you?</i>

567
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:08,952
<i>Great. Hope you got the invite
for the baby shower.</i>

568
00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:10,454
What's going on with this chair?
It's too low.

569
00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:11,913
Hint. We could still use
the changing table,

570
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:13,144
or bye-bye ping pong.

571
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:14,416
Oh, that's actually a cute name.

572
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,168
- Are you gonna keep that?
<i>- Thank you, Madam President.</i>

573
00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:17,192
- Morning!
- (SHUSHES)

574
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,359
I'm calling because
I wanted to talk to you

575
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,357
about Senator Talbot's husband.

576
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,985
I have been hearing from
hardworking American people

577
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:26,031
- from all walks of life...
- (BOTH GRUNTING)

578
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:29,577
...that what he's into
is way beyond tax fraud.

579
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:33,077
I need some help for me ex
from your friends in the East.

580
00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:34,499
Oh, I thought we were putting

581
00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:36,451
our little arrangement
on the back burner?

582
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:39,288
Madam President, Senator Talbot
has just released a statement.

583
00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:40,734
I'm gonna read it, so I get it right.

584
00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:42,465
You are simply attacking her family

585
00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,213
to distract from your own problems,

586
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,716
<i>and that you are the one
who is guilty of fraud, conspiracy</i>

587
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,450
Guess what? Mike,
I have a special announcement.

588
00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:51,717
My daughter Catherine
is getting married

589
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,643
to her lady friend Marjorie.

590
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:55,516
That's amazing!
Isn't that great, buddy?

591
00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:57,222
Well, the Bible
is actually very clear...

592
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,023
SELINA: <i>Um, but now I have to run.</i>

593
00:21:59,109 --> 00:22:00,645
It's been such fun talking with you,

594
00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:03,023
and I'm sure we'll connect later.

595
00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:05,651
So, Andrew?

596
00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:06,885
- I'll take care of it.
- Okay.

597
00:22:06,909 --> 00:22:08,946
- Any date for the wedding?
- Huh?

598
00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:10,972
- Any date for the wedding?
- Oh, who gives a shit.

599
00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:13,363
RICHARD: This has been
a very difficult decision,

600
00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:15,449
but, no, I will not be running
for state Senate.

601
00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:17,103
There's just so many things
I still want to do

602
00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:18,584
for the good people here in Lurlene,

603
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:21,880
like my own pet issue, which,
as many of you know, is pet issues.

604
00:22:21,966 --> 00:22:23,735
And I certainly hope
I'm not letting anyone down,

605
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:24,945
especially my new friend Sidney.

606
00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:26,631
Are you referring to Sidney Purcell,

607
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,507
the Con-Ag-Chem Fam Farm lobbyist?

608
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,492
I'm so sorry. We don't have any time
for more questions.

609
00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:32,118
Actually, Dan,
that did sound like a question.

610
00:22:32,142 --> 00:22:34,555
Yes, Sidney Purcell,
super generous guy,

611
00:22:34,645 --> 00:22:36,181
offered me all sorts of great stuff,

612
00:22:36,272 --> 00:22:37,808
like brand-new kitchen appliances

613
00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:40,001
or a brand-new hot tub
like the lieutenant governor has.

614
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:41,086
We have a schedule to keep...

615
00:22:41,110 --> 00:22:42,921
Oh, but I'm not supposed
to talk about that, right, Dan?

616
00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:44,436
Mayor Splett, are you saying

617
00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:46,943
that Con-Ag-Chem made you
an offer to run for office?

618
00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:48,885
No, that's not what he said.
He didn't say that.

619
00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:50,821
- Uh... No, no, no, Dan is right.
- Thank you.

620
00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:53,949
Sidney made the offer. Con-Ag-Chem
is a company, it can't talk.

621
00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:55,246
Hilarious. A talking company.

622
00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:57,143
- DAN: We gotta go.
- Where would the mouth even be?

623
00:22:57,167 --> 00:22:59,875
BEN: Ma'am, the press is out there
waiting for you.

624
00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:02,875
Rosa is gonna spend the night here
in Boston. No mini-bar key.

625
00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:04,067
This sit-down's gonna give us

626
00:23:04,091 --> 00:23:05,651
a nice little boost
for the Latino vote.

627
00:23:05,676 --> 00:23:07,463
- All right.
- KENT: Hold up.

628
00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:09,656
Ma'am, I'm sorry,
there's no easy way to tell you this.

629
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,047
- Oh.
- Your mother's boat, the <i>Labor Day,</i>

630
00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:14,554
exploded off the coast
of Florida this afternoon.

631
00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:16,680
Andrew was the only person aboard.

632
00:23:18,856 --> 00:23:21,473
No. Uh-uh.
'Cause he was going to Cuba.

633
00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:25,982
Allegedly.

634
00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:29,235
Ma'am, maybe we can just
cancel this Rosa thing.

635
00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:30,532
No!

636
00:23:30,618 --> 00:23:32,450
The Latino vote, Ben.

637
00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:36,414
I'm so sorry.

638
00:23:36,498 --> 00:23:38,490
He was my ex-husband.

639
00:23:42,046 --> 00:23:44,038
- (INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
- (CAMERAS CLICKING)

640
00:23:46,342 --> 00:23:47,753
Hello.

641
00:23:47,843 --> 00:23:49,459
Oh, wow. Rosa.

642
00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:52,053
Oh, my good friend.

643
00:23:52,139 --> 00:23:53,755
That's not Rosa.

644
00:23:53,849 --> 00:23:55,966
Oh... Oh! (CHUCKLES)

645
00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:57,767
There she is.

646
00:23:57,853 --> 00:24:00,687
- That must be your mother.
- My sister.

647
00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:02,105
Your sister. Okay.

648
00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:03,523
<i>Familia.</i>

649
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:06,226
Rosa, you have had quite a journey.

650
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,403
They put me on a plane
and sent me to Mexico.

651
00:24:08,489 --> 00:24:10,230
That's a terrible place.

652
00:24:10,324 --> 00:24:11,485
I did nothing wrong.

653
00:24:11,575 --> 00:24:13,487
No, well, I did nothing wrong.

654
00:24:13,577 --> 00:24:16,786
I'm just trying
to run for president here.

655
00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:19,740
You don't know how lucky you have it,
really, to tell you the truth.

656
00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:22,576
I mean, the next thing you know,
everything can change,

657
00:24:22,670 --> 00:24:25,378
it just goes... (MIMICS EXPLOSION)
Like that, right?

658
00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,126
And then...

659
00:24:27,216 --> 00:24:29,082
Okay, I think we need
to wrap this up here.

660
00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:30,403
- Oh.
- Uh, we got a busy schedule.

661
00:24:30,427 --> 00:24:32,134
I just want to say thank you,

662
00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:34,213
- President Montez.
- Sure, why not.

663
00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:36,389
- God bless you.
- Madam President, quick question...

664
00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,842
- (REPORTERS CLAMORING)
- SELINA: I want to be alone.

665
00:24:39,687 --> 00:24:40,687
(EXHALES)

666
00:24:46,652 --> 00:24:48,769
Mom, I can't believe that you ruined

667
00:24:48,862 --> 00:24:51,445
Marjorie's proposal
all over the Internet.

668
00:24:51,532 --> 00:24:56,072
Catherine, I have just gotten
some terrible news about your father,

669
00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:57,493
uh, being lost at sea,

670
00:24:57,579 --> 00:24:59,036
and you are up my ass

671
00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:01,866
about some proposal bullshit?

672
00:25:01,959 --> 00:25:03,575
- For real?
- Too late, Catherine.

673
00:25:03,669 --> 00:25:04,830
Too late.

674
00:25:05,713 --> 00:25:06,829
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

675
00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:07,922
Hey, now,

676
00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:09,901
you're not a grilled chicken Caesar
and a Miller Lite.

677
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:12,918
- I need to talk to you.
- Oh, sure. I'm all ears, milady.

678
00:25:13,887 --> 00:25:16,425
- Was it you?
- Excuse me?

679
00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:18,757
Andrew is blown up.

680
00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:19,932
Did you do that?

681
00:25:20,019 --> 00:25:22,511
- Did you fucking do that?
- Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey!

682
00:25:24,648 --> 00:25:26,929
I have no idea what you're
talking about, Madam President,

683
00:25:26,984 --> 00:25:29,692
but you did say to take care of it.

684
00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:32,646
No, I didn't.
I said for you to pay him off.

685
00:25:32,740 --> 00:25:35,983
I distinctly remember
you saying, "Take care of it."

686
00:25:36,076 --> 00:25:40,195
Okay, sure, but I didn't say it
in a "take care of it" kind of way.

687
00:25:40,289 --> 00:25:41,996
I just said take care of it.

688
00:25:42,082 --> 00:25:45,416
And it was pretty clear.
You said, "Take care of it,"

689
00:25:45,502 --> 00:25:47,869
and then you gave me a look.

690
00:25:47,963 --> 00:25:51,923
Not a "blow him
to kingdom-fucking-come" look!

691
00:25:52,009 --> 00:25:54,592
No, no, no. Listen, your eyebrows
did not move at all.

692
00:25:54,678 --> 00:25:57,261
Because I have had Botox!

693
00:25:57,347 --> 00:25:59,930
I abhor violence of any type.

694
00:26:00,017 --> 00:26:01,724
- Yes.
- Okay? But I have seen

695
00:26:01,810 --> 00:26:03,767
plenty of "blow him up" looks.

696
00:26:03,854 --> 00:26:05,311
Oh, I'm sorry.

697
00:26:05,397 --> 00:26:06,854
- (SOBS)
- Okay.

698
00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:08,852
KEITH: Oh.

699
00:26:08,942 --> 00:26:10,808
Oh, my God.

700
00:26:10,903 --> 00:26:12,189
Let me get you some tissues.

701
00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:13,941
- Okay.
- Okay? Yeah.

702
00:26:20,704 --> 00:26:21,820
(GASPS)

703
00:26:23,332 --> 00:26:25,324
I'm going back to my room.

704
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:26,624
Oh, okay, okay.

705
00:26:26,710 --> 00:26:28,497
(SOBBING)

706
00:26:28,587 --> 00:26:31,421
It's okay, Catherine.
Catherine, Mommy's here.

707
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,086
Mommy's here.

708
00:26:34,176 --> 00:26:35,883
Okay, Mommy has to go.

709
00:26:35,969 --> 00:26:37,380
- Mommy has to go.
- What?

710
00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:43,683
It's all right, Catherine,
Mommy's here.

711
00:26:43,769 --> 00:26:45,226
What do you think it says?

712
00:26:45,312 --> 00:26:46,553
I don't read Mandarin, ma'am.

713
00:26:46,647 --> 00:26:48,104
When do the new Kents come out?

714
00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:49,647
Do we have any friends at State?

715
00:26:49,733 --> 00:26:51,816
We have to find someone
who can read Mandarin

716
00:26:51,902 --> 00:26:53,142
but have no idea what it means.

717
00:26:53,195 --> 00:26:54,686
Like a brain-damaged Chinaman.

718
00:26:54,780 --> 00:26:56,817
- Or woman.
- Or woman. Sorry.

719
00:26:56,907 --> 00:27:00,241
Or the adopted child
of someone with brain damage.

720
00:27:02,204 --> 00:27:05,447
You know what would help sell
this birth certificate presser

721
00:27:05,541 --> 00:27:07,393
is actually finding
the fucking birth certificate!

722
00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:09,079
Yeah, I know! God, Mom!

723
00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:11,411
Don't you have a file
marked "Important Shit"

724
00:27:11,505 --> 00:27:13,167
that has baby teeth in it

725
00:27:13,257 --> 00:27:16,421
and my VHS copy of <i>Night Eyes II</i>
starring Shannon Tweed?

726
00:27:16,510 --> 00:27:18,297
Yes, and that's
the first place I looked.

727
00:27:19,888 --> 00:27:21,629
- What's that?
- Oh, there it is!

728
00:27:21,723 --> 00:27:23,159
Okay, Jonie, we really need to talk.

729
00:27:23,183 --> 00:27:24,640
Mom, we don't have time to talk.

730
00:27:24,726 --> 00:27:26,262
America is waiting for my leadership.

731
00:27:26,353 --> 00:27:28,515
Oh, excuse me,
I think I'm gonna be sick.

732
00:27:31,233 --> 00:27:32,849
Uh-oh, I think I know
what that's about.

733
00:27:32,943 --> 00:27:34,775
(REPORTERS CHATTERING)

734
00:27:34,862 --> 00:27:36,728
Agent Youngblood.

735
00:27:36,822 --> 00:27:38,702
You know, I think you're
doing a great job, sir.

736
00:27:41,368 --> 00:27:43,735
<i>I have repeatedly called</i>

737
00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:46,287
<i>for Selina Meyer to release
her birth certificate,</i>

738
00:27:46,373 --> 00:27:49,207
<i>but as everybody on my elementary
school playground knows,</i>

739
00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:51,501
<i>I am not afraid to show you mine.</i>

740
00:27:51,587 --> 00:27:53,044
<i>In fact, here it is.</i>

741
00:27:53,589 --> 00:27:55,205
<i>This is my birth certificate.</i>

742
00:27:56,091 --> 00:27:59,334
<i>Name, Jonah Joy Ryan.</i>

743
00:27:59,428 --> 00:28:02,262
<i>Weight, six pounds.
Length, twenty-six inches.</i>

744
00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:03,929
<i>Yeah, that's right, twenty-six inches.</i>

745
00:28:04,016 --> 00:28:06,258
<i>Mother, Nancy Kincannon.</i>

746
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:07,933
<i>Father...</i>

747
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:09,020
(CAMERAS CLICKING)

748
00:28:09,980 --> 00:28:10,980
<i>Excuse me.</i>

749
00:28:13,275 --> 00:28:14,436
Jonah.

750
00:28:17,070 --> 00:28:19,187
<i>Now it's your turn, Selina Meyer.</i>

751
00:28:21,992 --> 00:28:23,153
Lloyd is my real dad?

752
00:28:24,494 --> 00:28:26,281
Of course he is.

753
00:28:26,371 --> 00:28:29,239
I tried to tell you
a hundred times, Jonie.

754
00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:31,453
Do you want a snack?

755
00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:34,126
No. I'm not talking to you.

756
00:28:34,213 --> 00:28:36,500
Fine. Mac and cheese.

757
00:28:36,590 --> 00:28:38,502
- Okay.
- I can't believe this.

758
00:28:38,592 --> 00:28:39,924
And ketchup.

759
00:28:40,010 --> 00:28:41,922
That's why we went to Canada.

760
00:28:42,012 --> 00:28:45,756
We didn't tell anyone because
Lloyd and I are second cousins.

761
00:28:45,849 --> 00:28:48,592
God, Mom, that is vomitrocious.

762
00:28:48,685 --> 00:28:50,893
I could have been born
with something wrong with me.

763
00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:52,916
You know what? I never thought
that this would be a problem,

764
00:28:52,940 --> 00:28:54,852
then the two of you eloped

765
00:28:54,942 --> 00:28:58,606
so I just decided
not to think about it

766
00:28:58,695 --> 00:29:00,937
'cause that's
the best solution sometimes.

767
00:29:01,031 --> 00:29:03,739
- Wait, is Lloyd still my dad?
- Yeah, nobody knows.

768
00:29:03,825 --> 00:29:05,487
But you're now officially
my stepsister.

769
00:29:05,577 --> 00:29:06,988
Half sister.

770
00:29:07,079 --> 00:29:09,071
I'm sorry, I think
I'm gonna be sick again.

771
00:29:09,164 --> 00:29:10,826
- (GAGS)
- (MICROWAVE BEEPS)

772
00:29:10,916 --> 00:29:12,373
Mac and cheese is ready.

773
00:29:12,459 --> 00:29:13,619
Do you have any apple slices?

774
00:29:13,669 --> 00:29:15,189
You can have anything you want, honey.

775
00:29:15,254 --> 00:29:18,372
I want Lloyd to not be my dad!

776
00:29:19,132 --> 00:29:20,213
Me, too.

777
00:29:20,926 --> 00:29:22,667
Ma'am, you said
you weren't gonna be here.

778
00:29:22,761 --> 00:29:23,761
- SELINA: Oh!
- Surprise!

779
00:29:23,845 --> 00:29:26,337
Do you want to meet baby Henry?
He's so cute.

780
00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:29,469
Yes, but often, when a child
gets a new baby brother,

781
00:29:29,559 --> 00:29:33,269
they can feel neglected
and low self-esteem.

782
00:29:33,355 --> 00:29:35,312
- Catherine, for one.
- Well, yes, exactly.

783
00:29:35,399 --> 00:29:37,126
And she didn't even have
a baby brother. So...

784
00:29:37,150 --> 00:29:39,733
I actually feel the same way, too,
as a dad, sometimes.

785
00:29:39,820 --> 00:29:42,779
So I think I should probably go
and see Ellen right now.

786
00:29:42,864 --> 00:29:44,696
Sure. Does anybody want
to meet baby Henry?

787
00:29:44,783 --> 00:29:45,783
No.

788
00:29:45,867 --> 00:29:47,199
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Hi, Ellen.

789
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:49,903
I'm your Auntie Selina,

790
00:29:49,997 --> 00:29:51,533
and this is Uncle Bennie,

791
00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:54,115
- and this is...
- Chief Strategist Kent Davidson.

792
00:29:54,209 --> 00:29:55,209
- How do you do?
- Hi.

793
00:29:55,294 --> 00:29:56,910
Honey, can you do me a favor?

794
00:29:57,004 --> 00:29:59,166
You know what,
I've got this piece of paper.

795
00:29:59,256 --> 00:30:01,122
I don't know what it says.

796
00:30:01,216 --> 00:30:03,082
I think maybe it's in Mandarin.

797
00:30:03,176 --> 00:30:05,213
- Did you bring me a present?
- It's in the car.

798
00:30:05,304 --> 00:30:08,138
Cool. Let's see...

799
00:30:08,223 --> 00:30:10,840
I just talked to my guy
in the Southern District.

800
00:30:10,934 --> 00:30:13,722
They're dropping the investigation
into the Meyer Fund.

801
00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:14,893
- No!
- Without Andrew,

802
00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:16,596
the whole thing just blew up.

803
00:30:16,690 --> 00:30:17,897
(CHUCKLES) Sorry.

804
00:30:17,983 --> 00:30:19,349
Well, what are you gonna do?

805
00:30:19,443 --> 00:30:22,356
Also, the <i>Post</i> is spiking
its election interference story.

806
00:30:22,446 --> 00:30:24,813
- Oh, my God! What?
- (ALL LAUGHING)

807
00:30:24,906 --> 00:30:27,114
Is this what it feels like
to be a man?

808
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:30,238
- Who is Mon-tiz-uh?
- What? Mon-tiz-uh?

809
00:30:30,329 --> 00:30:31,740
- Montez.
- Wait a minute.

810
00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:33,992
Let me see what you wrote.

811
00:30:34,082 --> 00:30:36,074
"By giving Meyer the nomination,

812
00:30:36,168 --> 00:30:39,252
"they can ensure a Montez presidency"?

813
00:30:39,338 --> 00:30:40,920
I want to be president when I grow up.

814
00:30:41,006 --> 00:30:42,838
- You cannot.
- SELINA: God damn it!

815
00:30:42,924 --> 00:30:45,632
We can't even commit treason right?

816
00:30:45,719 --> 00:30:48,803
- What about my present?
- Uh, I'm giving it to your brother.

817
00:30:48,889 --> 00:30:51,882
<i>More than a dozen Iowa
government officials are in hot water.</i>

818
00:30:51,975 --> 00:30:54,388
<i>The lieutenant governor,
along with several state senators,</i>

819
00:30:54,478 --> 00:30:58,939
<i>have all been arrested for accepting
improper campaign contributions</i>

820
00:30:59,024 --> 00:31:00,731
<i>from Con-Ag-Chem Family Farms.</i>

821
00:31:00,817 --> 00:31:02,399
Bye-bye, Sidney.

822
00:31:02,486 --> 00:31:03,977
Dan, I'm glad you're here.

823
00:31:04,071 --> 00:31:05,778
Uh, the governor called.

824
00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:07,984
He wants me to resign as mayor,
effective immediately.

825
00:31:08,033 --> 00:31:09,444
What? You didn't do anything wrong!

826
00:31:09,534 --> 00:31:10,534
That's what he said.

827
00:31:10,619 --> 00:31:13,202
He's appointing me
the new lieutenant governor.

828
00:31:13,288 --> 00:31:15,701
Yes. Richard,
that is what I'm talking about.

829
00:31:15,791 --> 00:31:17,498
You see? Stick with me, right?

830
00:31:17,584 --> 00:31:19,826
Oh, now that we're moving
to Des Moines,

831
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:23,288
Willa is fair game
and DTF, diverticulitis flare-up.

832
00:31:23,382 --> 00:31:25,262
So if you go out to eat,
she can only have rice.

833
00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:26,300
Good to know. Thank you.


