1 00:00:06,727 --> 00:00:11,727 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:01:08,441 --> 00:01:10,318 - Dad, hey. - Harper, honey. 3 00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:11,570 You made it there in one piece? 4 00:01:11,611 --> 00:01:13,571 Yeah, fully intact. 5 00:01:13,614 --> 00:01:15,073 How's it look? 6 00:01:15,115 --> 00:01:16,325 It's better than the pictures. 7 00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:17,993 All right. Come on, give me a tour. 8 00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,328 Uh, how... 9 00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:22,039 Dad, don't even. Hold on, don't try, hold on. 10 00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:24,207 I got it, I got it. 11 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,501 Hey, can you see me? 12 00:01:26,543 --> 00:01:27,712 Hey, Dad. 13 00:01:27,753 --> 00:01:29,046 Hi, Harper. 14 00:01:29,087 --> 00:01:32,048 Give me a sec, I gotta find the key. 15 00:01:32,090 --> 00:01:33,550 Brave new world. 16 00:01:33,591 --> 00:01:35,093 Hm? 17 00:01:35,135 --> 00:01:37,679 When you were a kid, I told you not to talk to strangers, 18 00:01:37,721 --> 00:01:41,224 and definitely not to go into their houses. 19 00:01:41,266 --> 00:01:42,768 Now you're making a vacation out of both. 20 00:01:42,810 --> 00:01:46,522 Okay, it's not a vacation, Dad. It's a trip. 21 00:01:46,563 --> 00:01:48,273 Semantics. 22 00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:58,158 It's perfect. 23 00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,993 Think you'll find what you're looking for? 24 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:02,537 Don't make it sound so lofty. 25 00:02:06,250 --> 00:02:08,877 Too small. What's it say? 26 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:10,713 "Thank you for staying at the Forest Preserve. 27 00:02:10,754 --> 00:02:12,632 We hope it will be an oasis for you, 28 00:02:12,673 --> 00:02:14,467 the way it always has been for us." 29 00:02:14,508 --> 00:02:16,594 Neil, come on. We're gonna be late! 30 00:02:16,635 --> 00:02:19,930 Sorry to cut this short, buttercup, but that's my cue. 31 00:02:19,972 --> 00:02:21,349 Denise? 32 00:02:21,389 --> 00:02:23,308 First week of rumba classes. 33 00:02:24,268 --> 00:02:25,394 Don't look so surprised. 34 00:02:25,436 --> 00:02:27,438 Listen, I'll try again tomorrow, okay? 35 00:02:27,479 --> 00:02:29,272 All right, don't break a hip. 36 00:02:29,314 --> 00:02:34,319 - I'll do my darndest. - Bye, Dad. 37 00:03:45,015 --> 00:03:45,849 Hi. 38 00:03:47,685 --> 00:03:48,978 Hi. 39 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:49,979 Who are you? 40 00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:51,396 Who are you? 41 00:03:51,438 --> 00:03:52,981 - You don't get to do that. - Do what? 42 00:03:53,024 --> 00:03:54,775 You don't get to "who are you" while I'm who are-ing you. 43 00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:56,152 You can't just walk in here like you own- 44 00:03:56,193 --> 00:03:58,862 - My parents own this place. - What? 45 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:03,325 Sorry, are you booked this weekend? 46 00:04:03,366 --> 00:04:04,951 Shit, uh, sorry. 47 00:04:04,993 --> 00:04:08,080 My dad told me he blocks the weekends off for me. 48 00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:09,832 - He's not very text-savvy. - Listen, I can just- 49 00:04:09,873 --> 00:04:11,709 - I can call him. I should've double-checked. 50 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,544 Let me just call him. 51 00:04:14,377 --> 00:04:15,712 Okay. 52 00:04:19,507 --> 00:04:22,177 Hey, Dad, you said this place wasn't booked this weekend. 53 00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:25,014 Well, uh, it is and she's here and I'm here, 54 00:04:25,055 --> 00:04:28,224 and you've gotta give her her money back or something. 55 00:04:28,266 --> 00:04:32,146 Dad, I don't care. It's not a good look for me or for you. 56 00:04:32,187 --> 00:04:34,606 Please just do it, thank you. 57 00:04:35,983 --> 00:04:38,069 He told me he's gonna reverse the charges. 58 00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:39,862 Money should be back on your card on Monday. 59 00:04:39,903 --> 00:04:41,363 Am I getting kicked out? 60 00:04:41,404 --> 00:04:44,407 No. No, uh, place is yours. 61 00:04:44,449 --> 00:04:48,120 Oh, well then the refund's really not necessary. 62 00:04:48,161 --> 00:04:49,663 That's what my dad said too, 63 00:04:49,704 --> 00:04:51,873 but I spooked him with the prospect of a bad review. 64 00:04:51,915 --> 00:04:54,125 This place hasn't really been renting, so... 65 00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:56,336 Well, thank you. 66 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:59,090 Thank you for the restraint, by the way. 67 00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:00,632 I know the knife drawer was probably 68 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:01,968 looking pretty tempting a second ago, 69 00:05:02,009 --> 00:05:03,970 but I assure you, I'm harmless. 70 00:05:04,011 --> 00:05:05,471 That's exactly what a murderer would say. 71 00:05:05,512 --> 00:05:09,015 That is a fair point. 72 00:05:09,057 --> 00:05:09,891 I'm James. 73 00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:13,062 Harper. 74 00:05:13,103 --> 00:05:14,562 That's a cool name. 75 00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:18,109 Thanks, it was a birthday present. 76 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:21,444 Okay, uh... 77 00:05:27,617 --> 00:05:30,204 Um, hey, do you want a drink? 78 00:05:32,122 --> 00:05:34,291 I mean, you know, if you drink? 79 00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:36,127 Am I still a suspected murderer? 80 00:05:36,168 --> 00:05:39,922 Well, totally, but if I have any chance of escaping you, 81 00:05:39,963 --> 00:05:41,923 then I'm gonna have to ply you with alcohol. 82 00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:44,802 At least, that's how I survived the last guy, so- 83 00:05:44,843 --> 00:05:46,428 - I don't want to impose. 84 00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:48,180 - It's your house. - Parents' house. 85 00:05:48,221 --> 00:05:50,098 - Same thing. - Still. 86 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:52,935 Look, I took a year of jujitsu when I was eight, 87 00:05:52,976 --> 00:05:55,437 so I'm pretty sure I can kick your ass if you try anything. 88 00:05:55,478 --> 00:05:57,522 Plus, my sister and I took one of those like women's 89 00:05:57,564 --> 00:05:58,940 defense classes where you learn to kill a guy 90 00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,610 with like a pen or a key or a... 91 00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:04,196 Oh, shit. 92 00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,283 Oh, shit, shit, shit. 93 00:06:08,492 --> 00:06:11,537 Come on, come on. Come on, come on. 94 00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:16,000 Yeah, I was wondering whose this was. 95 00:06:16,041 --> 00:06:19,628 Thought maybe the cleaning people were still around. 96 00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:21,672 Nope, it's mine! 97 00:06:21,713 --> 00:06:23,966 I can take you into town, if you want, 98 00:06:24,007 --> 00:06:25,258 and get you some gas. 99 00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:26,926 No, I mean, it's fine. 100 00:06:26,968 --> 00:06:28,512 I have AAA, I'll give them a call. 101 00:06:28,553 --> 00:06:33,016 I'm gonna be way faster out here, if you want. You know. 102 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,061 I mean, you've already refunded the stay. 103 00:06:35,101 --> 00:06:36,770 I can't let you buy me gas. 104 00:06:36,812 --> 00:06:40,232 Oh, I didn't say I was paying, so... 105 00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:41,399 Right. 106 00:06:42,692 --> 00:06:45,570 - Uh, yeah. Yeah, thanks. - Yeah? 107 00:06:45,612 --> 00:06:49,240 Okay. 108 00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:51,994 So why Plymouth for your getaway adventure, 109 00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:52,995 or whatever this is? 110 00:06:53,036 --> 00:06:54,996 Oh, um, I went to Middlebury. 111 00:06:55,038 --> 00:06:56,748 I haven't been back to Vermont since graduation. 112 00:06:56,790 --> 00:07:00,168 I had the weekend, so I don't know, I thought I'd just like- 113 00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:01,504 - Relive the glory days? 114 00:07:01,545 --> 00:07:05,049 Explore some places I might have missed. 115 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,636 I don't know, I swung through campus on the way here, it's, 116 00:07:08,677 --> 00:07:09,887 it's different. 117 00:07:12,139 --> 00:07:14,766 Do people really do that? 118 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,435 Like come back and go to parties 119 00:07:16,476 --> 00:07:18,103 where nobody knows them anymore? 120 00:07:18,144 --> 00:07:19,187 Some. 121 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,355 - You? - Oh, no. 122 00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:23,109 I mean, homecoming, but you know. 123 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,151 Where'd you go? 124 00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:27,612 - Dartmouth. - And you graduated? 125 00:07:27,654 --> 00:07:28,780 Yes. 126 00:07:28,822 --> 00:07:30,407 My question was actually when. 127 00:07:30,449 --> 00:07:31,783 Four years ago. 128 00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:34,036 - Three. - Huh, I'd have guessed two. 129 00:07:34,077 --> 00:07:35,203 Baby face? 130 00:07:35,245 --> 00:07:38,665 No, you just don't look entirely jaded yet. 131 00:08:14,242 --> 00:08:15,076 Good luck. 132 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,413 Got any CDs? 133 00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:23,044 Yeah, there might be a couple in there. 134 00:08:23,084 --> 00:08:24,252 What! 135 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,588 Oh, shit. 136 00:08:25,629 --> 00:08:27,839 Oh, my god. What's the album? 137 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,466 It's a mix tape. 138 00:08:29,507 --> 00:08:31,051 No shit. Really? 139 00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:33,846 Really. 140 00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:36,974 Sorry I just haven't seen any of these in the wild lately. 141 00:08:37,015 --> 00:08:39,934 Who made it? 142 00:08:39,976 --> 00:08:40,977 Uh, I did. 143 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:43,980 Rad. 144 00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:46,399 - Let's listen. - Uh... 145 00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:47,692 We all had a Spice Girls phase. 146 00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:48,943 It is nothing to be ashamed of. 147 00:08:48,985 --> 00:08:50,446 It's personal. 148 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,156 Your relationship with the Spice Girls? 149 00:08:52,197 --> 00:08:54,283 It was for an ex, so... 150 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:56,534 Got ya. 151 00:08:59,663 --> 00:09:00,997 Did she like it? 152 00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:05,001 She never got it. 153 00:09:05,043 --> 00:09:06,294 There's a story there. 154 00:09:06,336 --> 00:09:08,838 Not one for tonight. 155 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:09,714 Come on. 156 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:15,429 Is she from around here? 157 00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:18,014 Sort of. It was a summer thing. 158 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,557 I really wanna listen to it. 159 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,310 Your request has been received 160 00:09:21,351 --> 00:09:22,812 and it's currently under review. 161 00:09:22,852 --> 00:09:24,354 Someone will get back to you in three to five business days. 162 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,149 - You're the worst. - That's a popular opinion. 163 00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:28,067 Dramatic. 164 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,947 Come on, just tell me the good stuff. 165 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:37,033 Like, what's the best date you guys ever went on? 166 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:42,123 You see that house over there? 167 00:09:42,163 --> 00:09:44,417 That's where Coolidge got inaugurated. 168 00:09:44,457 --> 00:09:45,543 August, 1923. 169 00:09:47,043 --> 00:09:48,461 This messenger came through town 170 00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,214 and started telling everyone that Harding had died, 171 00:09:50,255 --> 00:09:51,966 and Coolidge's dad swore him in by candlelight 172 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:55,177 - at like three in the morning. - Why do you know that? 173 00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:58,139 I kinda obsess about the past. 174 00:09:58,179 --> 00:10:00,849 - History major? - Uh, enthusiast. 175 00:10:00,890 --> 00:10:02,976 Think it makes for good small talk. 176 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,437 Is it working? 177 00:10:04,477 --> 00:10:06,396 I mean, you haven't lost my interest yet. 178 00:10:06,438 --> 00:10:10,650 I just think it's wild something so big 179 00:10:10,692 --> 00:10:13,528 could happen somewhere so small, you know? 180 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:14,404 Hm. 181 00:10:16,740 --> 00:10:19,284 So she's the one who ended it, right? 182 00:10:19,326 --> 00:10:20,119 Hm? 183 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:21,453 Mix tape girl? 184 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,999 I mean, that's always how it goes, right? 185 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,001 No, not always. 186 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,878 I mean, not to get personal, but I mean, like, 187 00:10:28,918 --> 00:10:32,298 how many times has a guy been the one to break up with you? 188 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,591 I mean, I don't know, but it's happened. 189 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,677 Totally, totally. I just... 190 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,555 Statistically, I just... 191 00:10:39,596 --> 00:10:41,389 Oh, uh, sorry. Hold on. 192 00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:43,058 Of course. 193 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:43,933 Um... 194 00:10:45,101 --> 00:10:46,437 - I should- - Totally, yeah, yeah. 195 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:47,897 I can... 196 00:10:47,937 --> 00:10:50,149 - I'll be, yeah. - Cool, okay. 197 00:10:53,735 --> 00:10:54,611 Hey, sorry. 198 00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:57,114 No, I'm there. 199 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,009 - Oh, that's sweet. - Mm. 200 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,927 Think they're still together? 201 00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:21,263 Probably not, but... 202 00:11:21,304 --> 00:11:23,765 - Pessimist. - Eh, realist. 203 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,229 Everything cool? 204 00:11:28,269 --> 00:11:29,480 Hm? 205 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,940 Phone call. 206 00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:32,774 Oh! Uh, yeah. 207 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,275 No, yeah. Everything's... 208 00:11:34,317 --> 00:11:36,069 Why? Did I sound like I was- 209 00:11:36,111 --> 00:11:41,116 - No, just, uh, Checkin' in. 210 00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:18,653 Thanks. 211 00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:19,739 It was fun. 212 00:12:20,822 --> 00:12:21,656 Yeah. 213 00:12:28,788 --> 00:12:31,542 Let's get that gas in your car. 214 00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:46,014 So, um, where are you staying tonight? 215 00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:48,225 Don't know yet, actually. 216 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,978 Do you have any friends in town, or... 217 00:12:51,019 --> 00:12:52,145 Not anymore. 218 00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:55,107 Probably just bum it at some cheap hotel. 219 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:56,192 That sucks. 220 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:59,695 It's just a couple nights. 221 00:12:59,736 --> 00:13:02,365 Look, I don't want this to be weird or anything, but um, 222 00:13:02,405 --> 00:13:05,075 I mean, the person I was staying with, he bailed on me 223 00:13:05,116 --> 00:13:07,077 last minute and I mean, it is a two-bedroom, 224 00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:09,663 which obviously you already know. 225 00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:11,791 I wasn't trying to guilt you or anything. 226 00:13:11,831 --> 00:13:14,085 No, I know, and that's... 227 00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:16,836 That's why I offered. 228 00:13:20,924 --> 00:13:22,133 Are you sure? 229 00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:25,680 Yeah. 230 00:13:26,554 --> 00:13:29,391 Yeah, I mean, like I said. 231 00:13:29,432 --> 00:13:30,266 Jujitsu. 232 00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:34,646 Right. 233 00:13:37,649 --> 00:13:40,860 Okay, um, so there's no mirror selfies 234 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,779 or photos with fish, which is good, it's a good start. 235 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,825 I am immediately regretting this. 236 00:13:45,865 --> 00:13:48,451 It's too late. Keep stirring. 237 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,789 Okay, so it's, uh, it's not bad. 238 00:13:53,749 --> 00:13:56,335 It's not, it's just that, um... 239 00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:59,421 Your photos, they... 240 00:13:59,462 --> 00:14:02,716 I mean, your photos have no personality. 241 00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:04,927 Ouch. 242 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,262 You asked for my help. 243 00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:08,430 Uh, I believe you asked to help me. 244 00:14:08,471 --> 00:14:09,932 Um, I'm gonna need a replay on that, 245 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,517 because I'm pretty sure you're the one who asked me- 246 00:14:11,558 --> 00:14:14,227 - Okay, okay, lead by example. 247 00:14:14,269 --> 00:14:15,770 Show me yours. 248 00:14:15,812 --> 00:14:18,274 Oh, I don't have one. 249 00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:19,774 Of course not. 250 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,110 Hey, before you question my credentials, 251 00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:22,235 I definitely used to. 252 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,611 And did you delete out of frustration, 253 00:14:23,653 --> 00:14:24,989 or because you found what you were looking for? 254 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,156 Also, follow-up question. 255 00:14:26,197 --> 00:14:29,869 Does he or does he not have an eight-pack? 256 00:14:29,909 --> 00:14:31,870 We are not talking about me right now, 257 00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:34,415 and you need to keep stirring. 258 00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:43,299 Uh-uh. 259 00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,426 Oh, my god, it's perfect. 260 00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:47,260 No, you have to upload this. This is the first photo. 261 00:14:47,302 --> 00:14:49,388 - Absolutely not. - What? 262 00:14:49,429 --> 00:14:50,805 Come on, personality! 263 00:14:50,847 --> 00:14:52,265 Mm-mm, mm-mm. 264 00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:57,270 - How's it looking? - Uh, you tell me. 265 00:14:58,855 --> 00:15:01,274 Yeah, good. 266 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,027 - Mm! Mm! - Yeah? 267 00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,444 It's good, that can go on the sheet. 268 00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:05,987 Okay. 269 00:15:06,029 --> 00:15:07,990 Also, where is your bio? 270 00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:10,283 Not worth the time. 271 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,161 - Are you kidding? - What am I supposed to do? 272 00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:13,663 Write the same shit everybody else does? 273 00:15:13,703 --> 00:15:16,331 Do the sarcastic subversion thing? That's sad. 274 00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:18,375 I mean, I don't know, but you need something. 275 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:21,336 - Says who? - Um, your empty inbox. 276 00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,214 Ouch again! 277 00:15:23,254 --> 00:15:27,677 Look, just let me write something for you. 278 00:15:27,717 --> 00:15:29,552 Just don't make it stupid. 279 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:30,805 That's the spirit. 280 00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:32,181 Come on, this is supposed to be fun. 281 00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:34,015 Was it fun for you? 282 00:15:35,058 --> 00:15:36,519 I mean, yeah. 283 00:15:36,559 --> 00:15:39,270 I just went on when I was bored. It's like a game. 284 00:15:39,312 --> 00:15:40,730 Yeah, that's like part of the problem. 285 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,442 My therapist says that... Sorry, is that weird? 286 00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:45,360 Therapy? No, therapy's cool. 287 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:48,447 Cool, yeah, she says that it's important to be intentional 288 00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,075 about this stuff, which like, I agree with, but it's hard 289 00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:54,077 when it feels like my only options are frivolous or forever. 290 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:57,539 I mean, okay, so what are you looking for? 291 00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:59,166 Something in between? 292 00:15:59,207 --> 00:16:00,918 Isn't everybody? 293 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,379 Yes, I guess, but it does not always feel that way. 294 00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:07,383 Okay, but that frustration's not like exclusive to guys. 295 00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:09,884 No, it's not, you know, it's just different. 296 00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,763 Like I've been in the inboxes for some of my female friends. 297 00:16:12,804 --> 00:16:14,973 Like they've let me look in some of their inboxes, 298 00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:19,352 and it's, um, different, just like volume wise. 299 00:16:19,394 --> 00:16:23,649 - The total number of- - Unsolicited dick pics? 300 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:25,442 That's a thing? 301 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,610 Yeah. You want me to show you? 302 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:28,903 You save them? Okay. 303 00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:30,239 Well, I mean, I've screenshotted a few. 304 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,573 - Only the winners, though. - The winner? 305 00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:34,576 I don't know... Okay. 306 00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:35,828 Sorry, that's really shitty. 307 00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:37,788 Don't apologize for something you didn't do. 308 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:38,913 I'm just saying. 309 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,416 I mean, performative nice-guying 310 00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:41,875 is about as pervasive as the dick pics themselves. 311 00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:43,628 Not what I'm doing. I'm not doing any of that. 312 00:16:43,668 --> 00:16:46,338 Unless you blind-sighted some poor, helpless female 313 00:16:46,379 --> 00:16:48,548 with your unsolicited... 314 00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:53,303 No, my you-know has not blind-sighted any helpless female. 315 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:56,514 I know. I'm just busting your balls. 316 00:16:58,308 --> 00:17:00,644 Um... Let's get these in the oven, yeah? 317 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:01,479 Yeah. 318 00:17:09,694 --> 00:17:11,446 Broken femur from a skiing accident's definitely a lie. 319 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,490 That's way too specific. 320 00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:16,369 Don't look at my face! 321 00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:19,455 You're not getting anything out of me. 322 00:17:20,830 --> 00:17:24,501 Fine, been in love twice. Final answer, lie. 323 00:17:24,542 --> 00:17:26,002 You're wrong. 324 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,464 Damn it. What was it? 325 00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:29,966 A skiing accident. 326 00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:32,009 It was my wrist, not my femur, and I was seven, not eight. 327 00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:33,426 - That's cheating. - How is it cheating? 328 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:34,636 You know exactly how it's cheating. 329 00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:35,805 I lied, didn't I? 330 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:37,097 The half-lie is very manipulative. 331 00:17:37,138 --> 00:17:40,475 That is why I'm undefeated. 332 00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:44,855 Twice, huh? 333 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:47,316 Yeah. 334 00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:48,233 I think so. 335 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,862 I mean, now I'm curious, but... 336 00:17:51,903 --> 00:17:54,155 Well, if you must know... 337 00:17:58,451 --> 00:18:00,997 Okay, so first time was in kindergarten. 338 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,999 Recess. 339 00:18:03,039 --> 00:18:05,835 It was Halloween just after the costume parade, 340 00:18:05,875 --> 00:18:08,336 and he was an astronaut, I was a pumpkin. 341 00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:10,088 Oh, my god. 342 00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:11,340 I mean, he was crazy decked out. 343 00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:12,842 Like, this wasn't the Party City shit, okay? 344 00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:14,677 This was the real deal. 345 00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:16,804 Like his aunt must've worked for NASA or something. 346 00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:20,516 And I'm in this puffy orange thing that my mom made me, 347 00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:22,393 and I'm sitting on the swings alone, 348 00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:25,812 and he comes over to me from whatever game he's playing. 349 00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:29,107 He stares me dead in the eyes and says, 350 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,570 "I wish I looked as cool as you." 351 00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,365 And just walks away. 352 00:18:36,406 --> 00:18:38,826 Total bad ass, like, he just had to tell me that 353 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:41,995 before he could keep playing. 354 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,580 And that was it? 355 00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:45,416 Yeah, that was it. 356 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,459 T.J. Bellis. 357 00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:50,795 That's love? 358 00:18:51,838 --> 00:18:53,506 Sure felt like it. 359 00:18:54,549 --> 00:18:56,469 You were five. 360 00:18:56,509 --> 00:18:57,345 And? 361 00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,892 And... 362 00:19:02,932 --> 00:19:03,893 Number two? 363 00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:10,732 That, my friend, is classified. 364 00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:13,527 - Oh, come on. - No, final answer. 365 00:19:13,568 --> 00:19:16,905 Fine, fine. 366 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:19,408 And you? 367 00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:21,451 Hm? 368 00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:24,663 Love. 369 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:31,170 Oh, um... 370 00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:33,547 - Sorry, I should go- - Yeah, totally. 371 00:19:33,588 --> 00:19:35,383 Do you need help cleaning up, or- 372 00:19:35,423 --> 00:19:36,716 - No, it's good. I got it. 373 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:38,344 - Are you sure? - It's like four cans. 374 00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:40,930 Okay. I'll take this one. 375 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,015 Um... 376 00:19:44,432 --> 00:19:47,103 - See you in the morning? - Mm-hm. 377 00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:07,623 This is Blake. 378 00:20:07,664 --> 00:20:10,584 Hey, um, it's me. 379 00:20:11,624 --> 00:20:14,879 I saw your message and I thought I'd give you a call. 380 00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:17,967 To say goodnight, or whatever. 381 00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:19,343 But no pressure. 382 00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:24,472 Just, we'll talk when we talk. Um... 383 00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:30,770 Yeah, anyway... 384 00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:33,316 I hope you have a good night. 385 00:20:33,356 --> 00:20:35,859 Bye. 386 00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:44,220 - Oh, my god. Hi. - What's up? 387 00:21:44,260 --> 00:21:46,888 - I thought you were working? - I took the day off. 388 00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:48,057 Thought I'd surprise you. 389 00:21:48,098 --> 00:21:49,474 Wow, this is really unexpected, I- 390 00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:51,394 - Well, you made such a big thing about it. I figured- 391 00:21:51,434 --> 00:21:52,686 - No, I know, I just didn't think 392 00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:54,605 that you'd actually be able to come, so- 393 00:21:54,646 --> 00:21:58,858 - Can I come in? - Yeah. 394 00:22:02,028 --> 00:22:03,446 Morning. 395 00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:05,908 Morning. Hi, uh, I'm James. 396 00:22:07,284 --> 00:22:08,576 Blake. 397 00:22:08,618 --> 00:22:09,911 Who are... Who is this? 398 00:22:09,953 --> 00:22:12,080 James's family owns the place and, um, 399 00:22:12,123 --> 00:22:13,164 there was a scheduling mix-up. 400 00:22:13,207 --> 00:22:15,293 He came up yesterday from... 401 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,003 - Boston. - Boston! 402 00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:18,254 "Boston?" 403 00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:20,965 Yeah, um, long story short, he's super chill. 404 00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:23,592 So, I thought that it made more sense for him to 405 00:22:23,634 --> 00:22:26,304 take the downstairs bedroom than like blow money on a hotel. 406 00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,596 You know? 407 00:22:27,637 --> 00:22:28,471 Totally. 408 00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:37,815 Do you guys wants breakfast, or... 409 00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:39,774 Look, it's just kinda weird. 410 00:22:39,817 --> 00:22:42,611 I know, but come on. What was I supposed to do? 411 00:22:42,653 --> 00:22:44,572 Send his ass to the Marriott? 412 00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:46,865 Look, I didn't even know that you were coming. 413 00:22:46,906 --> 00:22:49,617 Exactly. So what do you think it was like walking into that? 414 00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:51,120 No, I know, but I told you nothing happened. 415 00:22:51,162 --> 00:22:53,204 I know what you said, but most guys- 416 00:22:53,247 --> 00:22:55,833 - What? Would've thought that I sucked his dick? 417 00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:57,375 Don't be gross. 418 00:22:57,417 --> 00:22:59,377 Look, I just, I don't see how it's any different 419 00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:01,547 than if I just rented a room instead of the whole house. 420 00:23:01,588 --> 00:23:02,798 If you don't see the difference between- 421 00:23:02,839 --> 00:23:04,634 - I didn't do anything wrong! - Harper! 422 00:23:04,674 --> 00:23:06,009 I didn't come here to fight. 423 00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:08,346 I'm not, I'm not fighting. 424 00:23:08,386 --> 00:23:11,389 I woke up at the ass-crack of dawn, 425 00:23:11,432 --> 00:23:13,224 - just so I could beat traffic. - I know. 426 00:23:13,267 --> 00:23:16,729 - To hang out with you. - I know and I'm sorry. 427 00:23:16,770 --> 00:23:19,105 I'm really happy to see you. 428 00:23:20,273 --> 00:23:23,068 I'm really happy that you're here. 429 00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:31,160 Blueberry or banana? 430 00:23:33,078 --> 00:23:35,623 Wow, that's a toughie. 431 00:23:35,664 --> 00:23:36,999 - Harper? - Um... 432 00:23:38,209 --> 00:23:39,626 Blueberries cool? 433 00:23:42,837 --> 00:23:45,007 There's a maple tree a few yards that way 434 00:23:45,048 --> 00:23:49,511 with a spigot on it if you guys want the fresh stuff. 435 00:23:54,141 --> 00:23:57,144 Well, I never say no to fresh sap. 436 00:23:59,230 --> 00:24:03,275 Pretty sure that's not even how maple syrup works. 437 00:24:12,492 --> 00:24:14,077 It's really good, James. 438 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:14,953 Thanks. 439 00:24:16,163 --> 00:24:17,373 Do you always come with the place, 440 00:24:17,414 --> 00:24:19,125 - or did we just get lucky? - Blake. 441 00:24:19,165 --> 00:24:21,876 What? No, this is some serious bed and breakfast shit. 442 00:24:21,919 --> 00:24:23,129 I'm into it. 443 00:24:23,170 --> 00:24:25,715 Guess fortune smiled. 444 00:24:25,756 --> 00:24:26,966 You sure the whole scheduling mishap 445 00:24:27,008 --> 00:24:28,550 wasn't just a fun way to say "hi?" 446 00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:30,386 Look, if it was, they'd be losing a lot of money. 447 00:24:30,428 --> 00:24:33,973 James refunded the whole stay, no questions asked. 448 00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:34,849 Good. 449 00:24:36,057 --> 00:24:38,394 What're, um, what're you guys doing today? 450 00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:41,105 We are going on a run. We're training for a half. 451 00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:42,314 Yeah, I used to run in college. 452 00:24:42,355 --> 00:24:44,400 And I rented a boat for the afternoon. 453 00:24:44,442 --> 00:24:46,277 - A boat? - Sounds fun. 454 00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:48,153 Yeah. 455 00:24:49,739 --> 00:24:51,281 If you're looking for some good trails, there are some 456 00:24:51,324 --> 00:24:52,991 great ones over at Coolidge Homestead, it's the place- 457 00:24:53,034 --> 00:24:54,785 - Oh, yeah, the one that you told me about yesterday 458 00:24:54,826 --> 00:24:57,121 after you came back with the gas? 459 00:24:57,163 --> 00:24:58,788 - The gas? - Yeah. 460 00:24:58,830 --> 00:25:01,375 Yeah, my car crapped out right when I got here, so um, 461 00:25:01,416 --> 00:25:03,043 James played handyman while I got settled. 462 00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:04,629 It was really nice. 463 00:25:05,546 --> 00:25:06,838 How chivalrous. 464 00:25:06,881 --> 00:25:10,551 Yeah, um, you know, if you guys wanna bop, 465 00:25:11,969 --> 00:25:14,180 totally go for it, I'm gonna be around for a little. 466 00:25:14,221 --> 00:25:15,722 If you need anything, Harper, you have the- 467 00:25:15,765 --> 00:25:18,643 - Yeah, maybe you'll come on the boat with us later? 468 00:25:18,683 --> 00:25:19,769 If there's room? 469 00:25:19,809 --> 00:25:21,436 Yeah, totally, possibly. 470 00:25:21,479 --> 00:25:23,480 I might be meeting up with somebody, so- 471 00:25:23,521 --> 00:25:24,773 - I thought you said everybody 472 00:25:24,815 --> 00:25:27,777 - you knew was out of town? - They are. 473 00:25:27,817 --> 00:25:31,071 My friend just took this new photo of me, I'm gonna 474 00:25:31,113 --> 00:25:33,574 try uploading to Tinder, 'cause they say the algorithms 475 00:25:33,615 --> 00:25:35,158 boost when you're out of town, it's really stupid. 476 00:25:35,201 --> 00:25:38,537 Not stupid at all. Appreciate the hustle, brother. 477 00:25:38,578 --> 00:25:41,289 Yeah, yeah. It's, uh... 478 00:25:41,332 --> 00:25:42,792 It's challenging. 479 00:25:59,432 --> 00:26:01,477 So I think it's right down here? 480 00:26:01,519 --> 00:26:04,105 Yeah. It's like the one way to go. 481 00:26:04,145 --> 00:26:06,941 Wanna do what, an eighth today? 482 00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:08,317 Okay. 483 00:26:08,358 --> 00:26:09,943 - Ready? - Right. 484 00:26:09,986 --> 00:26:12,278 - Let's go. - I'll start us. 485 00:27:07,792 --> 00:27:08,627 Hey. 486 00:27:10,837 --> 00:27:13,214 Hey. 487 00:27:13,257 --> 00:27:14,091 Hey. 488 00:27:15,259 --> 00:27:16,469 Yeah. 489 00:27:16,509 --> 00:27:19,471 Yeah, we have like no service. 490 00:27:19,512 --> 00:27:22,265 Yeah, I'll be in tomorrow. 491 00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:24,977 We're all set for Friday. 492 00:27:25,019 --> 00:27:26,895 I told you, it's not an issue. 493 00:27:26,936 --> 00:27:27,771 Okay. 494 00:28:11,272 --> 00:28:12,107 Harper! 495 00:28:13,233 --> 00:28:14,734 Let's go! Come on! 496 00:28:26,497 --> 00:28:27,664 Yeah, I've been up here since May, 497 00:28:27,707 --> 00:28:29,333 doing summer stock in Weston. 498 00:28:29,375 --> 00:28:30,710 We just closed the last show. 499 00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:32,961 My mom was a dancer, so... 500 00:28:33,003 --> 00:28:34,963 - I know the life, yeah. - That is so cute! 501 00:28:35,006 --> 00:28:37,717 Did she like teach you how to tap dance or something? 502 00:28:37,758 --> 00:28:38,968 She definitely tried, 503 00:28:39,009 --> 00:28:41,304 but my sister definitely got most of that. 504 00:28:41,345 --> 00:28:44,097 And you have a sister? Cute. 505 00:28:44,140 --> 00:28:45,891 Is she like, is she in the business too? 506 00:28:45,932 --> 00:28:48,019 Oh, no, she's in med school. 507 00:28:48,059 --> 00:28:49,519 God bless. 508 00:28:49,561 --> 00:28:52,314 Four years plus a residency? No, thanks. 509 00:28:52,355 --> 00:28:53,816 Not for me. 510 00:28:53,857 --> 00:28:57,653 I just graduated BOCO and I'm like ready to go, you know? 511 00:28:57,694 --> 00:28:58,987 I mean, a long gig right of school, 512 00:28:59,029 --> 00:29:00,530 that's like really good, right? 513 00:29:00,573 --> 00:29:03,326 Yes, it's so blessed to have those contracts. So grateful. 514 00:29:03,366 --> 00:29:04,576 But at the same time, 515 00:29:04,617 --> 00:29:06,995 I'm also so ready to be back in the city. 516 00:29:07,038 --> 00:29:09,539 Four weeks with the same people, it kinda make you crazy. 517 00:29:09,582 --> 00:29:11,584 I mean, I can imagine. 518 00:29:13,419 --> 00:29:18,424 So, your profile says you're just here for the weekend? 519 00:29:19,549 --> 00:29:21,551 Yeah, uh, quick trip. In and out, yeah. 520 00:29:21,594 --> 00:29:22,928 Yeah, totally. 521 00:29:24,055 --> 00:29:27,892 I'm leaving tomorrow. 522 00:29:34,565 --> 00:29:36,025 Yeah, there's like no pressure. 523 00:29:36,067 --> 00:29:37,276 I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything, or- 524 00:29:37,317 --> 00:29:38,818 - I haven't gotten laid all summer. 525 00:29:38,861 --> 00:29:41,405 12 gays, two straight guys and 19 horny chorus girls. 526 00:29:41,446 --> 00:29:42,530 Do the math. 527 00:29:46,493 --> 00:29:48,953 Damn, dude. Must've been a good pic. 528 00:29:48,996 --> 00:29:50,413 Oh. 529 00:29:50,455 --> 00:29:52,375 Hi! I'm Alison. 530 00:29:52,415 --> 00:29:53,875 - Blake. - Harper. 531 00:29:53,917 --> 00:29:56,127 Sorry, um, I neglected to mention this is an Airbnb. 532 00:29:56,170 --> 00:29:57,587 - I mean, it's my house, but- - Parents' house. 533 00:29:57,630 --> 00:29:59,548 Right, parents' house. Sorry. 534 00:29:59,589 --> 00:30:02,467 This is, uh, a scheduling mix-up. 535 00:30:02,509 --> 00:30:04,386 We're all staying here now. I'm sorry if that's weird. 536 00:30:04,428 --> 00:30:06,055 Do you know how many housemates I had this summer? 537 00:30:06,096 --> 00:30:09,182 It's nothing. I was doing summer stock in Weston. 538 00:30:09,224 --> 00:30:10,892 Oh, damn. Sign me up. 539 00:30:10,934 --> 00:30:13,561 - Are you union? - I have no idea. 540 00:30:13,604 --> 00:30:15,815 Well, auditions are always cutthroat, but, 541 00:30:15,855 --> 00:30:17,732 you have a real leading man vibe to you. 542 00:30:17,775 --> 00:30:19,735 So you'd definitely get through the initial type-out. 543 00:30:19,777 --> 00:30:21,069 I thought you guys were renting a boat? 544 00:30:21,112 --> 00:30:22,529 - Oh, we love boats. - Me too! 545 00:30:22,570 --> 00:30:23,738 - Me too. - Yeah, boats are cool. 546 00:30:23,780 --> 00:30:24,781 Sorry, I just didn't realize 547 00:30:24,824 --> 00:30:26,033 you guys were gonna be back so soon. 548 00:30:26,075 --> 00:30:27,410 I wanted to change. 549 00:30:27,451 --> 00:30:29,370 Oh, and James, don't forget. 550 00:30:29,412 --> 00:30:32,414 That offer I made at breakfast? Still stands. 551 00:30:32,455 --> 00:30:33,707 What offer? 552 00:30:33,749 --> 00:30:35,459 Join us on the boat, my man. 553 00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:37,752 We've got an eight-person bowrider. Plenty of room. 554 00:30:37,795 --> 00:30:39,422 That sounds so fun! 555 00:30:39,462 --> 00:30:40,673 So fun. 556 00:30:40,714 --> 00:30:42,257 Come on, what do you say, Jimmy? 557 00:30:42,299 --> 00:30:44,009 How about a little maritime adventure? 558 00:30:44,050 --> 00:30:45,385 I didn't know that was your nickname. 559 00:30:45,428 --> 00:30:46,429 It's not. 560 00:30:53,310 --> 00:30:54,936 This thing goes to 45? 561 00:30:54,979 --> 00:30:56,771 Yeah, it's a super-charged engine. 562 00:30:56,814 --> 00:30:58,941 Last week, I pushed her up to 48. 563 00:30:58,982 --> 00:31:00,358 Awesome. 564 00:31:00,401 --> 00:31:01,610 If you want, later, I'll be happy to let you drive. 565 00:31:01,652 --> 00:31:02,903 Ah, I don't know. 566 00:31:02,944 --> 00:31:04,404 I might crash us into somethin'. 567 00:31:04,446 --> 00:31:06,072 Ah, it's not that hard. 568 00:31:06,115 --> 00:31:07,825 He is such a boy. 569 00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:10,201 Yeah, yeah. Mopeds, ATVs, dirt bikes. 570 00:31:10,243 --> 00:31:12,078 It's kind of his thing. 571 00:31:12,121 --> 00:31:13,663 Lucky you. 572 00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:16,791 Yeah. Yeah, he's somethin'. 573 00:31:16,834 --> 00:31:18,669 Do you ride, James? 574 00:31:18,711 --> 00:31:22,923 I had an electric scooter when I was a kid. 575 00:31:22,964 --> 00:31:24,716 You know, being out here on the water really reminds me 576 00:31:24,759 --> 00:31:27,636 of my production of "Anything Goes," I played Hope- 577 00:31:27,678 --> 00:31:28,846 - Hey, Blake? 578 00:31:28,887 --> 00:31:31,182 - What? - Could you get me a beer? 579 00:31:31,222 --> 00:31:32,892 - You want? - No, I'm good, thanks. 580 00:31:32,932 --> 00:31:34,727 Those days are kinda long gone for me 581 00:31:34,769 --> 00:31:37,395 and I think I wanna keep my boating license, but you know, 582 00:31:37,438 --> 00:31:39,482 you guys have a good time this afternoon. 583 00:31:39,522 --> 00:31:40,690 Oh, we will. 584 00:31:42,777 --> 00:31:44,612 - All right. - Thank you. 585 00:31:46,154 --> 00:31:49,200 All right. What should we toast to? 586 00:31:50,159 --> 00:31:50,951 To life! 587 00:31:52,411 --> 00:31:54,038 To life. 588 00:31:54,079 --> 00:31:57,165 James, I gotta tell you, you found a good one here. 589 00:31:57,208 --> 00:31:58,000 To life. 590 00:32:01,586 --> 00:32:03,881 You know what? I'm gonna go for a swim. 591 00:32:03,923 --> 00:32:05,340 James. 592 00:32:05,383 --> 00:32:06,467 Hold my beer. 593 00:32:11,096 --> 00:32:12,514 Harper, come on. Let's go. 594 00:32:12,556 --> 00:32:14,976 Oh, I didn't bring my suit. 595 00:32:16,477 --> 00:32:18,980 Harper, we're on a boat. 596 00:32:19,020 --> 00:32:20,271 Why didn't you bring your bathing suit? 597 00:32:20,314 --> 00:32:22,441 I didn't bring mine either, so... 598 00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:24,985 James, we're on a boat. 599 00:32:25,027 --> 00:32:26,403 Why didn't you bring your bathing suit? 600 00:32:26,444 --> 00:32:27,445 I'll swim. 601 00:32:28,614 --> 00:32:30,490 Did you remember to bring your bathing suit? 602 00:32:30,532 --> 00:32:32,867 No, but I don't care. 603 00:32:35,037 --> 00:32:35,871 Harper? 604 00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:38,915 Yeah. Sorry, I do care. 605 00:32:40,334 --> 00:32:41,585 James? 606 00:32:41,626 --> 00:32:42,794 Yeah, no, sorry, I'm way too drunk. 607 00:32:42,836 --> 00:32:44,212 So, yeah. 608 00:32:44,255 --> 00:32:46,257 Suit yourself. 609 00:32:47,465 --> 00:32:49,634 - Be safe, Blake. - Always. 610 00:32:50,970 --> 00:32:54,597 - You ready? - So ready. 611 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:56,642 You're cool with getting everything wet, right? 612 00:32:56,683 --> 00:32:58,810 - Yeah. - Its gonna be pretty deep. 613 00:32:58,853 --> 00:33:01,063 All right, so on three, we're gonna jump in. 614 00:33:01,105 --> 00:33:03,190 Okay, wait, on three or on go? 615 00:33:03,231 --> 00:33:04,692 On three. 616 00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:06,484 I'm gonna count to three and then we're gonna jump in. 617 00:33:06,527 --> 00:33:08,069 Oh, my god. Okay. 618 00:33:08,112 --> 00:33:09,196 One. 619 00:33:09,238 --> 00:33:10,405 - Two. - Two! 620 00:33:10,448 --> 00:33:11,824 - Three. - Three! 621 00:33:18,122 --> 00:33:19,914 I got scared! 622 00:33:19,957 --> 00:33:21,584 Oh! 623 00:33:23,544 --> 00:33:26,339 Come here! I got ya. 624 00:33:30,217 --> 00:33:31,886 Did you feel that? 625 00:33:31,926 --> 00:33:34,012 What was that? 626 00:33:40,769 --> 00:33:42,355 That wasn't me. 627 00:33:42,395 --> 00:33:44,190 - That was not me. - You're so annoying. 628 00:33:44,230 --> 00:33:47,817 It's the truth. 629 00:33:50,445 --> 00:33:52,322 You're not sorry. 630 00:33:52,365 --> 00:33:55,159 You wanna play a game? 631 00:33:55,201 --> 00:33:56,786 First, get over here. 632 00:33:59,829 --> 00:34:01,081 To life. 633 00:34:01,123 --> 00:34:02,333 Try and stand on my hands. 634 00:34:05,001 --> 00:34:08,338 It appears your master plan worked. 635 00:34:08,381 --> 00:34:10,132 Yeah, a little too well, apparently. 636 00:34:10,173 --> 00:34:12,134 What did you put in my bio? 637 00:34:12,175 --> 00:34:14,427 "Here for a good time, not a long time. 638 00:34:14,469 --> 00:34:16,680 - Catch me if you can." - That's objectively terrible. 639 00:34:16,722 --> 00:34:19,100 - Clearly not. - What does that even mean? 640 00:34:19,141 --> 00:34:20,559 Well, that's the beauty of it, right? 641 00:34:20,601 --> 00:34:23,813 It's the ambiguity. Is it music lyrics, a movie reference? 642 00:34:23,853 --> 00:34:25,814 A thinly veiled way of saying 643 00:34:25,856 --> 00:34:27,608 that you're time in town is limited 644 00:34:27,650 --> 00:34:29,818 and you're looking to copulate and make it count. 645 00:34:29,860 --> 00:34:31,903 Option C is definitely the inference 646 00:34:31,945 --> 00:34:33,780 that she made about me. 647 00:34:33,822 --> 00:34:37,326 Oh. 648 00:34:37,367 --> 00:34:38,911 Sorry, it's my dad. 649 00:34:41,454 --> 00:34:42,288 Dad, hey. 650 00:34:43,498 --> 00:34:45,542 Harper, how are you, sweetie? 651 00:34:45,583 --> 00:34:48,295 Pretty, pretty good, yeah. 652 00:34:48,336 --> 00:34:50,338 Where are you? It looks beautiful. 653 00:34:50,380 --> 00:34:53,466 Oh, um, yeah, it's Lake Echo. 654 00:34:53,509 --> 00:34:56,554 Let me give you the full view, so um, 655 00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:59,889 over there is where the house is. 656 00:34:59,931 --> 00:35:02,600 And then the sunset is gonna be back over this way. 657 00:35:02,643 --> 00:35:04,019 Who's that? 658 00:35:04,061 --> 00:35:05,354 Oh! Um, it's- 659 00:35:05,396 --> 00:35:07,648 - Hi! I'm Neil, Harper's dad. 660 00:35:07,690 --> 00:35:09,066 It's not him, Dad. 661 00:35:09,108 --> 00:35:10,359 Sweetie, I thought you said he wasn't coming? 662 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:13,028 Yeah, yeah, it's not him and he can hear you. 663 00:35:13,070 --> 00:35:14,071 Oh. 664 00:35:15,405 --> 00:35:17,199 Who's he, then? 665 00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:18,534 He's just a friend. 666 00:35:18,576 --> 00:35:20,036 It's good to meet you anyway, sir. 667 00:35:20,077 --> 00:35:22,038 Likewise. 668 00:35:22,079 --> 00:35:24,081 When do I get to meet this guy, Harper? 669 00:35:24,123 --> 00:35:26,791 I don't know. When it feels like something? 670 00:35:26,833 --> 00:35:28,418 Well, it's been six months. 671 00:35:28,460 --> 00:35:30,003 Yeah and very inconsistent. 672 00:35:30,045 --> 00:35:33,548 Listen, Dad, I can't talk about this right now, okay? 673 00:35:33,590 --> 00:35:35,467 Fine. Sorry to press. 674 00:35:35,509 --> 00:35:36,969 - It's fine. - I just... 675 00:35:37,010 --> 00:35:40,514 Look, I know and I love you for it, but I gotta go. 676 00:35:40,556 --> 00:35:43,559 - Enjoy the water. - Okay, love you. 677 00:35:43,601 --> 00:35:44,434 Bye, Dad. 678 00:35:48,481 --> 00:35:50,149 He seems cool. 679 00:35:50,190 --> 00:35:51,024 He is. 680 00:35:56,364 --> 00:35:58,449 So you and Blake, uh... 681 00:36:01,284 --> 00:36:02,952 Sorry if I'm getting in the way of the weekend, 682 00:36:02,994 --> 00:36:04,079 or whatever this is supposed to be. 683 00:36:04,121 --> 00:36:08,501 No, it's fine, he... 684 00:36:08,541 --> 00:36:10,670 He seems to enjoy the company. 685 00:37:57,108 --> 00:37:59,778 - Here you go. - Thank you so much. 686 00:37:59,820 --> 00:38:00,905 No problem. 687 00:38:02,739 --> 00:38:03,573 Oh! 688 00:38:05,076 --> 00:38:06,242 You don't have to do that. 689 00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:07,869 Just in case the guys come out. 690 00:38:07,911 --> 00:38:12,707 Oh, I mean, not like he's not gonna see it later anyway. 691 00:38:12,750 --> 00:38:15,710 James, I mean. 692 00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:19,923 What? 693 00:38:19,965 --> 00:38:21,549 Oh, it's just funny. 694 00:38:21,592 --> 00:38:22,927 What's funny? 695 00:38:22,969 --> 00:38:26,554 Me, you, this porch, Vermont. Like, what? 696 00:38:27,722 --> 00:38:30,643 Totally. It's like fate. 697 00:38:32,103 --> 00:38:34,063 Yeah or like completely random, right? 698 00:38:34,105 --> 00:38:36,898 I mean, I didn't even know who you were six hours ago, 699 00:38:36,940 --> 00:38:39,526 and now a couple of algorithms on some apps's 700 00:38:39,568 --> 00:38:42,947 just made it happen, but I mean, after tomorrow, 701 00:38:42,989 --> 00:38:44,907 it's not like we're ever gonna see each other again 702 00:38:44,949 --> 00:38:47,827 or remember each other's names or that this ever happened. 703 00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:49,619 Oh, don't say that! 704 00:38:51,329 --> 00:38:53,164 What's your Instagram? 705 00:38:57,878 --> 00:38:59,171 She's hot, man. 706 00:38:59,213 --> 00:39:01,507 - Hm? - Tinder chick, Ali? 707 00:39:01,548 --> 00:39:03,217 - Solid seven. - We're just hanging out. 708 00:39:03,259 --> 00:39:05,302 That's the way to be. 709 00:39:05,344 --> 00:39:07,637 Can't take 'em too serious. 710 00:39:09,306 --> 00:39:11,224 I thought you were kind of a simp this morning, 711 00:39:11,266 --> 00:39:14,019 but you're actually pretty chill. 712 00:39:14,894 --> 00:39:16,105 Thank you. 713 00:39:16,146 --> 00:39:18,690 Listen, I'm gonna help you out. 714 00:39:18,733 --> 00:39:21,318 - How? - I'm gonna wing-man for ya. 715 00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:25,030 Get her juices flowin'. Hang tight. 716 00:39:31,119 --> 00:39:31,953 Ladies. 717 00:39:32,829 --> 00:39:34,539 Wanna play a game? 718 00:39:34,581 --> 00:39:36,291 What kind of game? 719 00:39:36,333 --> 00:39:38,418 Come in, I'll show you. 720 00:39:50,306 --> 00:39:51,139 This... 721 00:39:52,432 --> 00:39:53,434 Is Paranoia. 722 00:39:56,228 --> 00:39:59,398 One by one, we'll go around in a circle, 723 00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:01,400 and when it's your turn, you'll pick someone, 724 00:40:01,442 --> 00:40:03,902 and ask them a "who" question. 725 00:40:03,943 --> 00:40:05,362 A "who" question? 726 00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:09,532 Yeah. Like, "who here lost their virginity last?" 727 00:40:10,701 --> 00:40:13,204 Or, who do you think is into butt stuff? 728 00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:14,788 Seriously? 729 00:40:14,829 --> 00:40:15,914 It's an example. 730 00:40:15,956 --> 00:40:17,708 - I got it. - Good. 731 00:40:17,750 --> 00:40:19,585 And then the person will answer. 732 00:40:19,626 --> 00:40:23,255 But no one else will know what was asked. 733 00:40:23,297 --> 00:40:25,382 So if you wanna find out, 734 00:40:26,509 --> 00:40:28,510 you have to take a shot. 735 00:40:31,972 --> 00:40:34,432 Who wants to go first? 736 00:40:43,192 --> 00:40:43,985 Me it is. 737 00:40:45,235 --> 00:40:46,027 Eenie. 738 00:40:46,903 --> 00:40:47,737 Meenie. 739 00:40:49,072 --> 00:40:53,201 Minie. 740 00:40:53,244 --> 00:40:54,036 Moe. 741 00:41:07,842 --> 00:41:08,675 Go on. 742 00:41:10,969 --> 00:41:13,054 It's a tough one. 743 00:41:13,097 --> 00:41:16,600 Well, there's only four of us to choose from. 744 00:41:16,641 --> 00:41:18,226 Can I pick myself? 745 00:41:18,268 --> 00:41:23,273 Yeah, if you think that's the answer. 746 00:41:23,898 --> 00:41:24,817 Then... 747 00:41:24,858 --> 00:41:26,110 Yeah. 748 00:41:26,152 --> 00:41:27,570 Me. 749 00:41:27,610 --> 00:41:28,653 That's hot. 750 00:41:34,492 --> 00:41:36,286 All right. Your turn. 751 00:41:38,456 --> 00:41:39,289 Uh... 752 00:41:41,458 --> 00:41:42,292 James. 753 00:42:02,146 --> 00:42:02,938 Blake. 754 00:42:10,195 --> 00:42:12,906 You don't wanna know? 755 00:42:12,947 --> 00:42:15,492 I already know who he thinks has the biggest dick, so... 756 00:42:21,748 --> 00:42:24,250 Does that mean it's my turn? 757 00:42:44,313 --> 00:42:45,481 Interesting. 758 00:42:47,483 --> 00:42:48,317 Alison. 759 00:42:49,402 --> 00:42:50,318 Definitely. 760 00:42:52,697 --> 00:42:55,700 Oh, damn it. 761 00:43:04,625 --> 00:43:07,378 Tell me. 762 00:43:10,672 --> 00:43:13,091 I asked who you think is most likely to cheat on someone. 763 00:43:14,592 --> 00:43:16,846 Okay, it was sophomore year and he was really boring. 764 00:43:16,887 --> 00:43:18,806 Hey, no judgment here. We're all people. 765 00:43:18,847 --> 00:43:21,891 Yeah, I mean, anything goes, right? 766 00:43:24,603 --> 00:43:28,065 The musical you were in, I was referencing- 767 00:43:28,106 --> 00:43:31,527 - Oh. 768 00:43:31,568 --> 00:43:34,070 All right. Alison, you're up again. 769 00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:36,031 No, let Harper go. She hasn't had a turn yet. 770 00:43:36,072 --> 00:43:37,615 Oh, no, I'm good. 771 00:43:38,784 --> 00:43:40,369 No, she's right. 772 00:43:40,411 --> 00:43:43,079 Harper, come on. Ask a question. 773 00:43:45,750 --> 00:43:46,583 Okay. 774 00:44:09,023 --> 00:44:10,191 You, Harper. 775 00:44:38,177 --> 00:44:39,010 Well? 776 00:44:42,514 --> 00:44:43,932 She asked who do I think- 777 00:44:43,974 --> 00:44:47,478 - I asked "who do you think is hiding something?" 778 00:44:55,068 --> 00:44:56,820 Time for round two. 779 00:44:58,364 --> 00:45:00,324 Which means two shots, 780 00:45:00,365 --> 00:45:04,202 and we're moving on to "yes" or "no" questions. 781 00:45:25,974 --> 00:45:26,808 You would? 782 00:45:27,851 --> 00:45:28,685 Yeah. 783 00:45:29,811 --> 00:45:30,645 I would. 784 00:45:42,782 --> 00:45:44,117 Let's hear it. 785 00:45:45,536 --> 00:45:47,621 I asked her if she would give up sex for a year, 786 00:45:47,663 --> 00:45:50,166 - to be on Broadway. - It's my dream. 787 00:45:51,375 --> 00:45:52,501 Honestly, Harper. 788 00:45:52,543 --> 00:45:56,047 I don't know what you're so paranoid about. 789 00:45:58,715 --> 00:45:59,967 It's my turn. 790 00:46:03,054 --> 00:46:04,639 Oh, two in a row. 791 00:46:10,518 --> 00:46:11,686 Yeah. 792 00:46:11,728 --> 00:46:12,562 I do. 793 00:46:17,150 --> 00:46:21,739 Oh, come on, James. You gotta ask her about that one. 794 00:46:22,907 --> 00:46:24,033 All right. 795 00:46:24,074 --> 00:46:25,492 Fine, I'll do it. 796 00:46:32,583 --> 00:46:33,709 One. 797 00:46:37,338 --> 00:46:39,382 Two. 798 00:46:39,422 --> 00:46:40,715 She asked me if I thought James 799 00:46:40,757 --> 00:46:42,384 was gonna sleep with me tonight. 800 00:46:42,425 --> 00:46:46,429 Oh-hoo! Making friends real quick around here. 801 00:46:48,264 --> 00:46:50,600 You drank, it's your turn. 802 00:47:00,695 --> 00:47:01,528 What? 803 00:47:02,737 --> 00:47:05,490 - Do you need me to repeat the question? - Why would you ask me that? 804 00:47:05,532 --> 00:47:08,368 It's Paranoia, James. Answer. 805 00:47:08,411 --> 00:47:09,869 - Haven't thought about it. - So think about. 806 00:47:09,911 --> 00:47:11,454 - That's my answer. - Eh, that's not an answer. 807 00:47:11,496 --> 00:47:14,666 My answer is I don't have an answer. 808 00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:22,133 Aggressive. 809 00:47:22,173 --> 00:47:23,259 Harper, that's like four shots in two minutes. 810 00:47:23,300 --> 00:47:24,175 - I'm fine. - She's fine. 811 00:47:24,217 --> 00:47:25,635 What'd he ask? 812 00:47:25,677 --> 00:47:27,179 It's not, it doesn't matter. 813 00:47:27,221 --> 00:47:29,056 I asked him who he felt was hotter. You or Alison. 814 00:47:29,097 --> 00:47:31,224 What? That's not even a "yes" or "no" question. 815 00:47:31,266 --> 00:47:33,852 - Oops. - Why did you have to think about it? No offense. 816 00:47:33,893 --> 00:47:35,312 Why are we doing this? 817 00:47:35,353 --> 00:47:37,647 'Cause it's fun. Aren't you having fun, James? 818 00:47:37,690 --> 00:47:39,108 - I'm having fun. - See? She's having fun. 819 00:47:39,150 --> 00:47:40,318 Can I ask a question? 820 00:47:40,358 --> 00:47:43,362 Technically it's Harper's turn. 821 00:47:43,403 --> 00:47:46,699 No, it's okay, James. Go ahead, ask your question. 822 00:47:46,740 --> 00:47:48,909 So you're forgoing your turn? 823 00:47:48,951 --> 00:47:50,619 Yeah, I'm forgoing my turn. 824 00:47:50,661 --> 00:47:52,288 Another wasted opportunity, but hey- 825 00:47:52,329 --> 00:47:53,496 - What the fuck does that mean? 826 00:47:53,539 --> 00:47:55,625 - Relax. You're embarrassing- - "Relax?" 827 00:47:55,666 --> 00:47:57,335 Stop. 828 00:47:57,376 --> 00:48:00,171 - James, it's your turn, bud. - Oh, my god! 829 00:48:02,213 --> 00:48:03,048 Yes. 830 00:48:32,202 --> 00:48:35,581 You know, I don't know if you wanna know. 831 00:48:35,623 --> 00:48:39,626 My impending hangover would suggest otherwise. 832 00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:46,092 He asked if I was tired of this game. 833 00:48:50,846 --> 00:48:53,099 I don't think that's what he asked you. 834 00:48:53,139 --> 00:48:55,141 Well, it is, and I am. 835 00:49:02,775 --> 00:49:03,567 James? 836 00:49:10,074 --> 00:49:12,326 Yeah, I guess Paranoia's not a misnomer. 837 00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:25,422 You still tired? 838 00:51:25,083 --> 00:51:26,751 - Morning. - Morning. 839 00:51:29,005 --> 00:51:30,506 - Good night? - Yeah. 840 00:51:31,548 --> 00:51:33,175 You? 841 00:51:33,217 --> 00:51:34,050 Yeah. 842 00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:55,364 Bye. 843 00:51:55,405 --> 00:51:58,366 - See you in the city? - Mm-hm. 844 00:51:58,409 --> 00:52:01,287 By the way, cookies are overdone. 845 00:52:03,496 --> 00:52:04,789 Hey. 846 00:52:04,831 --> 00:52:08,043 Thank you so much, I had so much fun. 847 00:52:08,085 --> 00:52:09,753 You're so welcome. 848 00:52:09,795 --> 00:52:12,965 And remember, I'm @allycat88_3. 849 00:52:13,007 --> 00:52:15,217 Yeah, did you see James this morning? 850 00:52:15,259 --> 00:52:17,052 Oh, he wasn't here when I woke up. 851 00:52:17,094 --> 00:52:17,927 Oh. 852 00:52:19,096 --> 00:52:20,889 His loss, right? 853 00:52:20,931 --> 00:52:22,682 Yeah, totally. 854 00:52:23,809 --> 00:52:25,478 - Shuttle's leaving! - Coming! 855 00:52:25,518 --> 00:52:26,770 I thought you were taking an Uber? 856 00:52:26,811 --> 00:52:28,563 Oh, he said he was passing the station. 857 00:52:28,606 --> 00:52:30,441 Summer stock doesn't really pay, so... 858 00:52:31,442 --> 00:52:32,275 Toodles! 859 00:52:36,030 --> 00:52:36,864 Hey. 860 00:53:45,724 --> 00:53:48,018 Quite the itinerary. 861 00:53:48,059 --> 00:53:50,730 Yeah, it's uh, subject to change. 862 00:53:50,771 --> 00:53:52,815 I just figured I'd leave a roadmap of my whereabouts, 863 00:53:52,856 --> 00:53:54,650 - in case you got bored. - Oh. 864 00:53:54,692 --> 00:53:55,985 You know, you could just leave your number, 865 00:53:56,027 --> 00:53:56,860 like a normal person. 866 00:53:56,902 --> 00:53:59,237 Yeah, I kinda get in my head 867 00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:04,201 when I'm hoping someone's gonna text me back, so... 868 00:54:05,077 --> 00:54:06,037 So you slipped out early. 869 00:54:06,077 --> 00:54:07,079 Just quietly. 870 00:54:08,873 --> 00:54:10,041 Blake leave? 871 00:54:10,081 --> 00:54:13,001 Yeah. Yeah, about a half-hour ago? 872 00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:18,132 Alison said you left without saying goodbye. 873 00:54:18,173 --> 00:54:21,635 Yeah, we're uh, now in the latter stages of the texting, 874 00:54:21,677 --> 00:54:23,554 chilling and ghosting cycle, so- 875 00:54:23,596 --> 00:54:25,389 - Oh, I know it well. 876 00:54:27,474 --> 00:54:29,893 Victim or perpetrator? 877 00:54:29,934 --> 00:54:31,353 Totally, right on. Love it. 878 00:54:31,394 --> 00:54:32,855 - Shut up. - Awesome. What? 879 00:54:32,896 --> 00:54:34,356 You literally just said you did the same thing. 880 00:54:34,398 --> 00:54:36,317 Did not literally say it, did not figuratively say it. 881 00:54:36,358 --> 00:54:39,277 No, I did not and if I did, it'd be totally irrelevant. 882 00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:40,696 How is it irrelevant? 883 00:54:40,737 --> 00:54:41,780 We're not talking about me, we're talking about you. 884 00:54:41,822 --> 00:54:43,407 - You're so... - Hm? 885 00:54:43,449 --> 00:54:45,034 So... 886 00:54:48,913 --> 00:54:49,746 What? 887 00:54:59,090 --> 00:55:02,175 I wanna know more things about you. 888 00:55:05,679 --> 00:55:07,138 That'd be cool. 889 00:55:15,648 --> 00:55:18,401 I used to think being in my 20s would feel so adult, 890 00:55:18,442 --> 00:55:19,735 put together, you know? 891 00:55:19,777 --> 00:55:23,239 But really, you just realize more and more 892 00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:24,865 how little you know about life. 893 00:55:24,907 --> 00:55:27,702 It's inherently upsetting. 894 00:55:27,742 --> 00:55:29,577 And what's worse is you know there are people 895 00:55:29,619 --> 00:55:31,163 who pretend like that's not how it is. 896 00:55:31,204 --> 00:55:33,498 Like the girl who cheated off my little sister in pre-calc 897 00:55:33,541 --> 00:55:36,794 is bragging about baby number two and her forever-home 898 00:55:36,835 --> 00:55:39,879 on Facebook, like give me a break. 899 00:55:39,922 --> 00:55:41,923 Sorry, you're still on Facebook? 900 00:55:41,965 --> 00:55:42,717 Shut up. 901 00:55:44,969 --> 00:55:45,802 Oh, wow. 902 00:55:47,847 --> 00:55:48,848 I miss this. 903 00:55:54,436 --> 00:55:57,105 What do you do with all those? 904 00:55:58,481 --> 00:56:01,485 I used to print 'em out and put 'em in albums, but uh, 905 00:56:01,527 --> 00:56:04,780 I haven't really shot for myself in my while, so- 906 00:56:04,822 --> 00:56:05,990 - Why? 907 00:56:07,699 --> 00:56:11,286 I'm not sure if I love it anymore. 908 00:56:11,329 --> 00:56:13,706 - Something change? - Uh, yeah. 909 00:56:13,748 --> 00:56:15,875 Turned into work. 910 00:56:15,916 --> 00:56:17,626 - Like professionally? - Yeah. 911 00:56:17,668 --> 00:56:19,961 Yeah, I shoot weddings. 912 00:56:20,003 --> 00:56:22,339 That's cool. 913 00:56:22,380 --> 00:56:23,715 It used to be. 914 00:56:25,175 --> 00:56:29,304 I mean, it's gotta be better than my nine-to-five, right? 915 00:56:30,889 --> 00:56:32,349 It's a template. 916 00:56:32,391 --> 00:56:35,101 It's the same eight poses in the same three positions, 917 00:56:35,143 --> 00:56:36,978 twice a week, every week, so- 918 00:56:37,021 --> 00:56:40,274 - May have spoken too soon about you not being jaded. 919 00:56:40,315 --> 00:56:42,692 I don't know, I'd say numb. 920 00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:46,989 I stand in a corner, capturing identical memories, 921 00:56:47,030 --> 00:56:48,699 over and over and over again. 922 00:56:48,740 --> 00:56:52,494 The only thing that changes is the flower arrangement. 923 00:56:52,536 --> 00:56:55,498 Could do something else. 924 00:56:55,539 --> 00:56:58,042 It's too late for me, James. 925 00:57:01,878 --> 00:57:04,798 Anyway, I had a professor tell me once that, um, 926 00:57:04,840 --> 00:57:06,509 she didn't teach because she loved it. 927 00:57:06,550 --> 00:57:10,680 She taught because she was good at it and tenured. 928 00:57:10,721 --> 00:57:13,641 That's rough. 929 00:57:13,682 --> 00:57:16,184 Yeah, I don't know. 930 00:57:16,226 --> 00:57:19,646 It used to not make sense to me, but now? 931 00:57:26,862 --> 00:57:28,655 What about Blake? 932 00:57:28,697 --> 00:57:29,531 Hm? 933 00:57:31,074 --> 00:57:33,785 You said you've been in love twice, just uh, 934 00:57:33,827 --> 00:57:35,579 is he the second one? 935 00:57:37,331 --> 00:57:38,791 I don't see what this have to do with- 936 00:57:38,833 --> 00:57:43,296 - Is he love or is he tenure was the intended question. 937 00:57:45,088 --> 00:57:47,549 Both, neither? I don't... 938 00:57:47,590 --> 00:57:48,634 I don't know. 939 00:57:52,722 --> 00:57:55,516 Sorry, I'm not trying to put you on the spot or anything. 940 00:57:55,557 --> 00:57:58,436 - I mean, you kind of are. - I... 941 00:57:58,476 --> 00:58:01,938 Just wondering. You don't have to answer. 942 00:58:08,987 --> 00:58:11,614 I guess it's not a bad thing. 943 00:59:17,597 --> 00:59:19,599 You're welcome. Enjoy. 944 00:59:20,518 --> 00:59:21,894 Hello. 945 00:59:21,936 --> 00:59:25,690 - Are you all set? - Yeah, this is for me. 946 00:59:25,731 --> 00:59:28,317 Would you like ice cream? 947 00:59:28,358 --> 00:59:33,322 Uh, yeah. That would be great. 948 00:59:52,048 --> 00:59:54,050 Okay, rotate a bit? 949 00:59:54,092 --> 00:59:56,469 - Okay. - No, sorry, towards me? 950 00:59:56,512 --> 00:59:59,849 - Towards you. Stupid. - Yes. No, that's perfect. 951 00:59:59,889 --> 01:00:01,016 Still don't think it's gonna work. 952 01:00:01,057 --> 01:00:02,226 Look, I really think it's gonna help, 953 01:00:02,268 --> 01:00:04,186 and I'm not charging, so what's the harm? 954 01:00:04,228 --> 01:00:05,855 Not really photogenic, you know. 955 01:00:05,896 --> 01:00:07,440 Yeah, the one I took on Friday worked. 956 01:00:07,481 --> 01:00:09,692 - Okay, thank you for that. - Just fine. 957 01:00:09,733 --> 01:00:10,860 Okay. 958 01:00:10,900 --> 01:00:12,694 Have a little faith. 959 01:00:12,737 --> 01:00:14,238 You still wanna eat this stuff? 960 01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:16,699 Uh, yeah, we're not wasting perfectly good bread. 961 01:00:16,740 --> 01:00:18,034 Okay. 962 01:00:18,074 --> 01:00:20,577 All right, now one together. 963 01:00:21,661 --> 01:00:23,788 - Like me and you? - Yeah. 964 01:00:23,831 --> 01:00:25,750 - How? - I have a timer. 965 01:00:26,916 --> 01:00:28,877 - What will we do? - There we go. 966 01:00:28,918 --> 01:00:31,087 All right. Oh, eight seconds, eight seconds, hurry! 967 01:00:31,130 --> 01:00:32,590 - Uh, feed me, James. - Baguette? 968 01:00:32,632 --> 01:00:34,090 - Mm, grape! - Okay. 969 01:00:34,132 --> 01:00:35,675 Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry! We have like three seconds! 970 01:00:35,717 --> 01:00:37,219 Go, go, go, eat it. 971 01:00:37,260 --> 01:00:39,262 That was stupid. 972 01:00:39,304 --> 01:00:40,639 I'm gonna see. 973 01:00:42,766 --> 01:00:43,643 No, it's perfect. 974 01:00:43,684 --> 01:00:45,102 - It's perfect? - Mm-hm. 975 01:00:45,143 --> 01:00:47,354 - Why did we do that? - It brings it all to life. 976 01:00:47,396 --> 01:00:49,398 Otherwise, you're just a lonely boy cutting a baguette. 977 01:00:49,440 --> 01:00:53,235 Wow, I feel seen. 978 01:00:53,277 --> 01:00:55,362 Look, we want people to sense the potential of this place. 979 01:00:55,403 --> 01:00:57,489 Right? The romance. 980 01:00:57,530 --> 01:00:59,909 People's imaginations are way more stunted than you think. 981 01:00:59,949 --> 01:01:01,743 I don't think I've ever seen editorial photos 982 01:01:01,786 --> 01:01:05,331 - for an Airbnb before. - Well, you can be the first. 983 01:01:05,373 --> 01:01:08,708 If the photos we have are so uninspired, why did you book? 984 01:01:08,751 --> 01:01:10,544 I don't know. 985 01:01:10,585 --> 01:01:13,630 First impressions aren't really a deal-breaker for me. 986 01:01:13,672 --> 01:01:15,674 But I'm weird like that. 987 01:01:21,304 --> 01:01:23,264 That one's just for me. 988 01:01:24,599 --> 01:01:26,559 When I was a kid and I got a crush on somebody, 989 01:01:26,601 --> 01:01:29,437 it was like all-consuming. 990 01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:30,773 I remember this one summer at camp, 991 01:01:30,815 --> 01:01:32,608 I found out she liked me too, 992 01:01:32,650 --> 01:01:35,610 and it was like, I was paralyzed. 993 01:01:35,652 --> 01:01:37,404 Like instantaneously nauseous. 994 01:01:37,445 --> 01:01:38,947 Wait, why? 995 01:01:38,989 --> 01:01:41,950 Uh, I just hadn't thought about what happened next. 996 01:01:41,992 --> 01:01:44,244 Like, what I had to do now. 997 01:01:46,831 --> 01:01:49,709 That's kind of adorable. 998 01:01:49,750 --> 01:01:51,626 I mean, that's just how it is, right? 999 01:01:51,668 --> 01:01:53,712 Even now, people start questioning everything 1000 01:01:53,753 --> 01:01:55,380 when shit gets real. 1001 01:01:56,923 --> 01:01:59,134 I don't know, I mean, 1002 01:01:59,175 --> 01:02:03,179 statistically speaking, it's way safer to date people 1003 01:02:03,222 --> 01:02:07,560 that you don't actually want in your life forever. 1004 01:02:07,601 --> 01:02:11,814 You're gonna have to break that one down for me. 1005 01:02:11,856 --> 01:02:13,107 Um... 1006 01:02:14,442 --> 01:02:15,860 Oh. 1007 01:02:15,900 --> 01:02:17,485 Sorry, I thought I had a full battery. 1008 01:02:17,527 --> 01:02:19,237 Just plug it in. There's an outlet over there. 1009 01:02:19,280 --> 01:02:21,824 Yeah, it doesn't play when it's plugged in, so, 1010 01:02:21,865 --> 01:02:23,909 it's okay, I'll just do it off the phone. 1011 01:02:23,951 --> 01:02:25,619 Uh, hold on a sec. 1012 01:02:27,579 --> 01:02:28,413 One sec. 1013 01:02:51,603 --> 01:02:54,064 All right, screw it. 1014 01:02:54,106 --> 01:02:55,566 - Is that- - Yeah. 1015 01:02:55,608 --> 01:02:58,736 - Are those- - You're blind. 1016 01:02:58,777 --> 01:03:00,904 - You wanna do this? - Yeah. 1017 01:03:00,945 --> 01:03:02,030 Are you sure? 1018 01:03:02,072 --> 01:03:04,282 - Almost. - You don't have to. 1019 01:03:04,324 --> 01:03:07,577 We're just gonna listen to the B-side. 1020 01:03:18,713 --> 01:03:21,299 Okay, um, next one is, 1021 01:03:21,342 --> 01:03:23,385 "share what you see as positive characteristics 1022 01:03:23,427 --> 01:03:27,556 of your partner, alternate, three for each." 1023 01:03:27,597 --> 01:03:30,058 I think that you are very good 1024 01:03:30,101 --> 01:03:31,394 at diffusing awkward situations. 1025 01:03:31,434 --> 01:03:33,061 Thought it was my turn to go first. 1026 01:03:33,103 --> 01:03:34,562 Just slipped out. 1027 01:03:34,605 --> 01:03:36,065 Must've been thinking about it already. 1028 01:03:36,106 --> 01:03:40,652 You've doing a fair amount of it this weekend, so... 1029 01:03:40,695 --> 01:03:42,238 All right, your turn. 1030 01:03:42,278 --> 01:03:45,574 Tell me how awesome I am. 1031 01:03:45,615 --> 01:03:46,449 Um... 1032 01:03:47,784 --> 01:03:50,745 I think that you're genuinely kind. 1033 01:03:54,666 --> 01:03:57,420 That's better than mine. 1034 01:03:57,460 --> 01:03:58,837 You also have nice eyes and good taste 1035 01:03:58,878 --> 01:04:00,338 in late 2000s sad boy music. 1036 01:04:00,380 --> 01:04:01,882 I thought we were supposed to alternate? 1037 01:04:01,923 --> 01:04:05,177 - Just slipped out. - Hm. 1038 01:04:05,219 --> 01:04:06,429 Okay, my turn? 1039 01:04:06,469 --> 01:04:07,304 Mm-hm. 1040 01:04:08,806 --> 01:04:10,766 I like that you have a good relationship with your dad. 1041 01:04:10,807 --> 01:04:12,101 That's boring. 1042 01:04:12,143 --> 01:04:14,519 Okay, nice eyes. Nice nose, nice- 1043 01:04:14,561 --> 01:04:15,895 - It's too late. 1044 01:04:17,231 --> 01:04:19,400 - Um... - What's the third? 1045 01:04:24,447 --> 01:04:26,824 I think you're a good liar. 1046 01:04:31,036 --> 01:04:32,704 - What? - Last night. 1047 01:04:33,873 --> 01:04:38,168 What you said to Blake at the end of Paranoia. 1048 01:04:38,210 --> 01:04:39,503 I didn't lie. 1049 01:04:44,215 --> 01:04:45,050 I didn't. 1050 01:04:47,887 --> 01:04:52,350 You told him I asked if you were tired of the game. 1051 01:04:53,934 --> 01:04:55,269 Yeah, you did. 1052 01:05:00,815 --> 01:05:05,737 I asked if you wanted to sit on the porch with me instead. 1053 01:05:06,614 --> 01:05:08,157 Well, it's the same thing. 1054 01:05:15,164 --> 01:05:16,248 James. 1055 01:05:16,289 --> 01:05:17,666 - Forget it. - No, what? 1056 01:05:17,708 --> 01:05:19,210 - No, it's my mistake. - No, just tell me. 1057 01:05:19,251 --> 01:05:22,672 I don't understand what's happening. What are... 1058 01:05:22,713 --> 01:05:25,257 - What? - It's not the same thing. 1059 01:05:28,302 --> 01:05:30,805 Not last night, not like that. 1060 01:05:35,559 --> 01:05:37,144 I don't know what you want me to say. 1061 01:05:37,186 --> 01:05:39,646 You don't have to say anything. 1062 01:05:39,688 --> 01:05:41,190 I know I don't have to say anything, 1063 01:05:41,231 --> 01:05:44,402 but I don't know what you want me to say. 1064 01:05:49,239 --> 01:05:50,156 What? Just tell me. 1065 01:05:50,199 --> 01:05:51,075 - No. - What? 1066 01:05:51,117 --> 01:05:52,034 Because we both know 1067 01:05:52,076 --> 01:05:52,994 how the conversation's gonna go. 1068 01:05:53,034 --> 01:05:53,743 - No, we don't! - Yes, we do. 1069 01:05:53,786 --> 01:05:55,246 No, we don't! 1070 01:05:55,286 --> 01:05:56,538 Yes, I'd rather it just stay like this, okay? 1071 01:05:56,579 --> 01:05:58,915 - Like what? - Suspended in the maybe. 1072 01:06:05,380 --> 01:06:06,214 Shit. 1073 01:06:20,896 --> 01:06:23,149 I like you too, you know? 1074 01:06:25,483 --> 01:06:26,693 You don't have to say that. 1075 01:06:26,735 --> 01:06:29,404 I know I don't have to say that. 1076 01:06:29,447 --> 01:06:33,451 Just like I didn't have to let you stay. 1077 01:06:37,621 --> 01:06:40,958 I don't get crushes on people anymore. 1078 01:06:44,711 --> 01:06:45,713 Me either. 1079 01:06:51,302 --> 01:06:52,970 I kind of miss it. 1080 01:06:57,807 --> 01:06:59,101 Yeah, me too. 1081 01:07:01,646 --> 01:07:04,023 Is that him or your dad? 1082 01:07:04,065 --> 01:07:05,650 It doesn't matter. 1083 01:07:24,751 --> 01:07:26,878 This isn't normally how it goes. 1084 01:07:31,925 --> 01:07:34,804 We can forget about it. 1085 01:07:34,844 --> 01:07:36,304 Tomorrow, if you want. 1086 01:09:28,708 --> 01:09:29,793 Hi. 1087 01:09:31,420 --> 01:09:33,463 This suddenly feels very vulnerable. 1088 01:09:33,506 --> 01:09:36,634 Honestly, it's the third time I'm recording this intro, 1089 01:09:36,676 --> 01:09:41,013 but I promised myself I'm not gonna do it again, so... 1090 01:09:41,055 --> 01:09:41,889 Yeah. 1091 01:09:43,306 --> 01:09:45,976 We haven't found each other yet, 1092 01:09:47,353 --> 01:09:49,939 but when we do, I just, um, 1093 01:09:49,980 --> 01:09:52,565 I'm doing this because when we do, I want you to know 1094 01:09:52,608 --> 01:09:53,943 this part of me. 1095 01:09:56,569 --> 01:09:59,155 The... 1096 01:10:00,198 --> 01:10:01,282 Experience of 1097 01:10:04,161 --> 01:10:06,788 wanting you before knowing you. 1098 01:10:08,748 --> 01:10:13,670 I guess I don't wanna forget either, which is weird, but... 1099 01:10:15,297 --> 01:10:16,131 Yeah. 1100 01:10:18,009 --> 01:10:21,554 Anyway, this is for you. Whoever you are. 1101 01:10:21,595 --> 01:10:23,639 Or who you will be. 1102 01:10:23,680 --> 01:10:27,559 I don't know your name or where you're from, 1103 01:10:27,600 --> 01:10:30,854 or when or how we're gonna meet, but... 1104 01:10:33,189 --> 01:10:35,734 When you're not just a hazy shadow in my mind, 1105 01:10:35,775 --> 01:10:38,653 I hope cassette players are still a thing. 1106 01:10:41,990 --> 01:10:43,743 Haven't listen to that in a while. 1107 01:10:43,783 --> 01:10:47,496 Shit, um... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- 1108 01:10:47,537 --> 01:10:52,500 - I knew there was a 50/50 shot of it happening, so... 1109 01:10:54,295 --> 01:10:57,965 It's so lame, right? 1110 01:10:58,006 --> 01:11:00,800 No. No, I don't really think so. 1111 01:11:02,886 --> 01:11:04,262 I really am sorry, I didn't mean to pry. 1112 01:11:04,305 --> 01:11:05,806 Stop apologizing. 1113 01:11:17,568 --> 01:11:21,072 I thought you said it was for that girl? 1114 01:11:22,614 --> 01:11:23,615 What girl? 1115 01:11:25,242 --> 01:11:26,786 The girl in the car, you said that- 1116 01:11:26,827 --> 01:11:30,081 - I've never had a summer fling in Plymouth. 1117 01:11:30,122 --> 01:11:31,082 Just, uh... 1118 01:11:32,416 --> 01:11:35,043 Felt like an easier explanation than making a mix tape 1119 01:11:35,086 --> 01:11:38,213 for a figment of my imagination. 1120 01:11:38,255 --> 01:11:41,717 Especially 'cause I'd only known you like 45 minutes, so... 1121 01:11:49,225 --> 01:11:51,435 James Madison and Jane Doe. 1122 01:11:56,023 --> 01:11:58,150 Your parents named you after a president? 1123 01:11:58,192 --> 01:11:59,568 Mm-hm. 1124 01:12:01,112 --> 01:12:05,949 Setting the stage for a lifetime of debilitating nostalgia. 1125 01:12:15,417 --> 01:12:16,251 You good? 1126 01:12:22,507 --> 01:12:23,341 Yeah. 1127 01:12:25,636 --> 01:12:26,846 Yeah, I'm good. 1128 01:12:48,743 --> 01:12:51,037 Uh, the instructions said to leave them 1129 01:12:51,078 --> 01:12:53,998 in the rock, but considering. 1130 01:12:54,039 --> 01:12:56,583 Five stars, right? 1131 01:12:56,626 --> 01:12:58,293 You know, I was gonna go with three! 1132 01:12:59,628 --> 01:13:02,213 I guess we can meet in the middle. 1133 01:13:02,256 --> 01:13:03,048 Four. 1134 01:13:04,759 --> 01:13:07,261 - Back to New York? - Yeah. 1135 01:13:07,302 --> 01:13:10,096 Pit stop in Hartford to see my sister, 1136 01:13:10,139 --> 01:13:12,475 but I'll be back by tonight. 1137 01:13:14,685 --> 01:13:16,479 - Boston? - Yeah. 1138 01:13:16,520 --> 01:13:17,355 Cool. 1139 01:13:18,855 --> 01:13:19,689 Cool. 1140 01:13:21,024 --> 01:13:22,442 Cool, cool, cool. 1141 01:13:30,283 --> 01:13:32,827 You know, I used to have all the route patterns 1142 01:13:32,869 --> 01:13:34,997 of my favorite trails memorized. 1143 01:13:35,038 --> 01:13:38,458 I could run all four miles of them with my eyes closed. 1144 01:13:38,501 --> 01:13:39,335 But... 1145 01:13:41,545 --> 01:13:43,047 Now, I don't know. 1146 01:13:44,422 --> 01:13:46,675 If you asked me what the color of the apartment building 1147 01:13:46,716 --> 01:13:48,885 across from mine was, I... 1148 01:13:50,720 --> 01:13:53,306 I don't think I could tell you. 1149 01:14:06,737 --> 01:14:09,239 Do you have time for breakfast? 1150 01:14:30,620 --> 01:14:33,651 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull