1
00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:39,623
MAN:
<i>That's right.</i>

2
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:41,917
<i>New York.</i>

3
00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:44,925
<i>It's 1958.</i>

4
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:49,300
<i>Anyway, for a few more minutes it is.</i>

5
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:53,263
<i>Come midnight, it's gonna be 1959.</i>

6
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:57,475
<i>A whole other feeling. The new year.</i>

7
00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,602
<i>The future.</i>

8
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:05,275
<i>Yeah, Old Daddy Earth fixing to start</i>
<i>one more trip around the sun.</i>

9
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:09,328
<i>Everybody hoping this ride round</i>
<i>be a little more giddy...</i>

10
00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:11,576
<i>...a little more gay.</i>

11
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:16,160
<i>Yup, all over town,</i>
<i>champagne corks is a-popping.</i>

12
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:22,375
<i>Over in the Waldorf, the big shots is</i>
<i>dancing to the strains of Guy Lombardo.</i>

13
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:28,556
<i>In Times square, the little folks is watching</i>
<i>and waiting for that big ball to drop.</i>

14
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:33,222
<i>They're all trying to catch hold</i>
<i>of one moment of time...</i>

15
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:39,400
<i>...to be able to say,</i>
<i>"Right now! This is it! I got it!"</i>

16
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,022
[CHUCKLES]

17
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:43,649
<i>Of course, by then it'll be past.</i>

18
00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:49,281
<i>But they're all happy,</i>
<i>everybody having a good time.</i>

19
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:52,203
<i>Well, almost everybody.</i>

20
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:56,500
<i>There's a few lost souls</i>
<i>floating around out there.</i>

21
00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:00,538
<i>Now, if you all ain't from the city...</i>

22
00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:04,250
<i>...we got something here</i>
<i>called "the rat race. "</i>

23
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:08,759
<i>Got a way of chewing folks up</i>
<i>so that they don't want no celebrating...</i>

24
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,135
<i>...don't want no cheering up.</i>

25
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:14,014
<i>Don't care nothing about no New Year's.</i>

26
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:19,728
<i>Out of hope, out of rope, out of time.</i>

27
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:23,603
<i>This here is Norville Barnes.</i>

28
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,438
<i>That office he's stepping out of...</i>

29
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:30,322
<i>...is the office of the president</i>
<i>of Hudsucker Industries.</i>

30
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,448
<i>That's his office.</i>

31
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,826
<i>How'd he get so high?</i>

32
00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:39,035
<i>And why's he feeling so low?</i>

33
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:42,212
<i>Is he really going to do it?</i>

34
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:46,588
<i>Is Norville really gonna</i>
<i>jelly up the sidewalk?</i>

35
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:52,298
<i>Well, the future, that's something</i>
<i>you can never tell about.</i>

36
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:56,469
<i>But the past, heh-heh...</i>

37
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,559
<i>...that's another story.</i>

38
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,425
[BUZZER SOUNDS]

39
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:17,446
[BUZZER SOUNDS]

40
00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,658
In the third quarter
we saw no signs of weakening.

41
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,960
We're up 18 percent over last year's
third-quarter gross...

42
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,583
...and that, needless to say,
is a new record.

43
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:34,385
Our competition continues to flag
and we continue to take up the slack.

44
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:37,212
Market shares in most divisions
is increasing...

45
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:40,720
...and we have opened
seven new regional offices.

46
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,301
Our international division...

47
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:46,639
...is also showing vigorous signs of upward
movement for the last six months...

48
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:50,147
...and we're looking
at some exciting things in RandD.

49
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:33,811
Sub-franchising.
Don't talk to me about sub-franchising.

50
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,272
We're making so much money
in sub-franchising...

51
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,152
...it isn't even funny.

52
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:42,361
Our nominees and assigns
continue to multiply and expand...

53
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:46,199
...extending our influence nationally
and abroad.

54
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,704
Our owned
and operateds are performing...

55
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,163
...far beyond our expectations
both here and abroad.

56
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,919
And the Federal Tax Act of 1958...

57
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:59,799
...is giving us a swell write-off
on our plant and heavies.

58
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:28,373
And our last debenture issue
was this year's fastest seller.

59
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:31,292
So third quarter and year-to-date...

60
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:35,293
...we have set a new record in sales,
a new record in gross...

61
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,171
...a new record in pre-tax earnings...

62
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:41,470
...a new record in after-tax profits...

63
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:44,549
...and our stock has split twice
in the past year.

64
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,133
In short...

65
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,843
[WATCH WINDING]

66
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,514
...we're loaded.

67
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,645
[ALL CHUCKLING]

68
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,021
[TICKING]

69
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:00,860
[CLEARS THROAT]

70
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,364
Mr. Hudsucker?

71
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:48,366
[CAR HORN HONKS]

72
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,470
[SCREAMING]

73
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:43,918
[SCREAMING]

74
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,093
[BELL TOLLING]

75
00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:35,268
It's a pity to waste a whole Montecristo.

76
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,845
He could've opened the window.

77
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,772
Waring Hudsucker never did anything
the easy way.

78
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:44,023
Why? Why did he do it?
Everything was going so well.

79
00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:47,106
What, am I a headshrinker?
Maybe the man was unhappy.

80
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,156
[SOBBING]
He didn't look unhappy.

81
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:53,828
- He didn't look rich.
- He was never an easy man to figure out.

82
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,747
He built this company
with his bare hands.

83
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:59,918
Every step he took was a step up...

84
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:01,995
...except, of course, this last one.

85
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,331
Sure, sure he was a swell fella...

86
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,837
...but when the president,
chairman of the board...

87
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,345
...and owner of 87 percent
of the company stock drops...

88
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,802
- ...44 floors...
- Forty-five.

89
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,223
Counting the mezzanine.

90
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:17,143
Then the company, too,
has a problem. Stillson!

91
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:21,939
What exactly is the disposition
of Waring's stock?

92
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,562
Well, as you know...

93
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,643
...Hud left no will and no family.

94
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,731
The company bylaws
are quite clear in that event.

95
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:32,363
"His entire portfolio will be converted
into common stock...

96
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:36,913
...and will be sold over the counter
as of the first of the fiscal year...

97
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,411
- ...following his demise."
- Meaning?

98
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:43,120
Meaning simply that Waring's stock
and control of the company...

99
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:46,798
...will be made available
to the public January 1st.

100
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,668
Do you mean to say...

101
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:53,506
...that any slob in a smelly T-shirt
will be able to buy Hudsucker stock?

102
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,723
The company bylaws are quite clear.

103
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:57,847
My God! You're animals!

104
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:02,272
How can you discuss his stock
when the man has just leapt 45 floors?

105
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:05,021
- Forty four.
- Not counting the mezzanine.

106
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,273
Quit showboating, Addison.
The man is gone.

107
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:10,651
The question now is whether
we'll let John Q. Public waltz in here...

108
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:13,825
- ...and buy our company.
- What are you suggesting, Sydney?

109
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:17,120
Certainly we can't afford
to buy a controlling interest.

110
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,618
Not while the stock is this strong.

111
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,909
How soon before Hud's paper
hits the market?

112
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,289
- January 1st.
- Thirty days.

113
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:26,167
- Four weeks.
- A month at the most.

114
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:29,500
One month to make the blue-chip
investment of the century...

115
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:32,085
...look like a round-trip ticket
on the <i>Titanic</i>.

116
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,546
We play up the fact that Hud is dead.

117
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,427
ALL:
Long live the Hud!

118
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:39,601
- We depress the stock.
- To the point where we can buy 50 percent.

119
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,803
- Fifty one.
- Not counting the mezzanine.

120
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,388
- It could work.
- It should work.

121
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,224
- It would work.
- It's working already.

122
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:51,279
Waring Hudsucker is abstract art
on Madison Avenue.

123
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:55,985
What we need now is a new president
who will inspire panic in the stockholder.

124
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,489
- A puppet.
- A proxy.

125
00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,116
MAN:
A pawn.

126
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,574
Sure, sure, some jerk...

127
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,160
...we can really push around.

128
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:10,047
You punch in at 8:30 every morning,
at 7:30 following a business holiday...

129
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:12,501
...unless it's a Monday,
then you punch in 8:00.

130
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:15,929
- Punch in late and they dock you.
MAN: This goes to seven! Urgent.

131
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,724
Incoming articles get a voucher.
Outgoing articles provide a voucher.

132
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,347
Move any article without a voucher
and they dock you!

133
00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:24,975
Take this up to the secretarial pool
on three! ASAP!

134
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,898
Letter-size, a green voucher!
Folder-size, a yellow voucher!

135
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:31,319
- Parcel-size, a maroon voucher!
- This is for Morgatross! Chop-chop!

136
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:34,523
Wrong color voucher and they dock you!

137
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:37,109
6-7-8-7-0-4-9-Alpha-6!

138
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:40,491
That is your employee number!
It will not be repeated!

139
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:43,323
Without your employee number
you cannot get your paycheck.

140
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:44,874
All right, this goes up to 27!

141
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,873
Return a waiver!
Do not return without a signed waiver!

142
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:52,298
Inter-office mail is code 37!
Intra-office mail is 37-3.

143
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:54,671
Outside mail is 3-37.

144
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,469
Code it wrong and they dock you!

145
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,639
I was supposed to have this
on 2810 minutes ago!

146
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,261
This has been your orientation.

147
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,470
Is there anything you do not understand
or understand partially?

148
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:08,352
If you have not been fully orientated,
you must file a complaint with Personnel!

149
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:11,400
File a faulty complaint
and they dock you!

150
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:14,070
[WHISTLING]

151
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:20,739
Kloppitt. Kloppitt, Kloppitt...

152
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:22,320
Max Kloppitt.

153
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,656
"Max Kloppitt, Jr."

154
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:36,752
What do you do when the envelope
is too big for the slot?

155
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:40,213
Well, if you fold them, they fire you.

156
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,676
I usually throw them out.

157
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,900
- Just got hired today.
OLD MAN: Mm-hm.

158
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:55,695
- Terrific.
NORVILLE: You know, entry level.

159
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,613
OLD MAN:
Tell me about it.

160
00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:01,409
But I got big ideas.

161
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,698
I'm sure you do.

162
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:07,749
For instance,
take a look at this sweet baby.

163
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:12,962
I developed it myself.

164
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,790
Yes, sirree, this is my ticket upstairs.

165
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:20,966
You know, for kids.

166
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,264
Terrific.

167
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,475
So you see, I won't be working
in the mail room long.

168
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,771
No, I don't guess you will be.

169
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:32,941
- How long you been here?
- Forty-eight years.

170
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:37,813
Next year they move me up to parcels
if I'm lucky.

171
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:40,114
MAN [ON PA]:
<i>Attention Hudsucker employees!</i>

172
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,487
<i>Attention Hudsucker employees!</i>

173
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:46,413
<i>We regretfully announce</i>
<i>that at 30 seconds after the hour of noon...</i>

174
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:47,704
<i>...Hudsucker time...</i>

175
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:50,658
<i>...Waring Hudsucker,</i>
<i>founder, president...</i>

176
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:53,666
<i>...and chairman of the</i>
<i>board of Hudsucker Industries...</i>

177
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,213
<i>...merged with the infinite.</i>

178
00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:58,383
<i>To mark this occasion of corporate loss...</i>

179
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:03,134
<i>...we ask that all employees observe</i>
<i>a moment of silent contemplation.</i>

180
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,472
[EMPLOYEE COUGHS]

181
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:11,475
MAN [ON PA]:
<i>Thank you for your kind attention.</i>

182
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:14,523
<i>This moment has been duly noted</i>
<i>on your timecards...</i>

183
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:18,194
<i>...and will be deducted from your pay.</i>
<i>That is all.</i>

184
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,816
[ALARMS WAILING]

185
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,863
- Blue letter!
- Blue letter!

186
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,784
They're bringing down a blue letter!

187
00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:01,487
OLD MAN:
It's a blue letter.

188
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,861
Top, top level.

189
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:06,739
Confidential communication
between the brass.

190
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,574
Usually bad news.

191
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,907
They hate blue letters upstairs.

192
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,124
- Hate them.
- You!

193
00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:21,458
Yeah, you! Barnes!
You don't look busy!

194
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,343
Think you can handle a blue letter?

195
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,218
This letter was sent this morning
by the big man himself...

196
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:29,014
...that's right, Waring Hudsucker!

197
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:32,765
It's addressed to Sid Mussburger,
Hudsucker's right-hand man!

198
00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:34,516
It's a blue letter!

199
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,936
That means you got to put it
right in Mussburger's hands.

200
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:40,359
No secretaries! No receptionists!

201
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,530
No colleagues! No excuses!

202
00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,231
Mussburger!

203
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:51,117
Hi, my name's Buzz, I got the fuzz,
I make the elevator do what she does.

204
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:54,328
Hang it up to dry.
What's your pleasure, buddy?

205
00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:57,251
- Forty-four.
- Forty-four, the top-brass floor.

206
00:17:57,451 --> 00:18:00,204
Say, buddy, what takes
50 years to get to the top floor...

207
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,165
...and 30 seconds to get down?

208
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:04,717
Waring Hudsucker! You get it, buddy?

209
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:08,421
Say, buddy! Mr. Kline, up to nine.
Mrs. Dell, Personnel.

210
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,302
- Mr. Levin, 37.
- Thirty-six.

211
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:13,180
Walk down! Ladies and gentlemen,
please step to the rear.

212
00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:16,638
- Here comes the gargantuan Mr. Grier.
- Buzz.

213
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:20,771
Say, buddy, who's the most liquid
businessman on the street?

214
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,227
Waring Hudsucker. Say, buddy.

215
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:27,486
When is the sidewalk fully dressed?
When it's wearing Hudsucker! Ha-ha-ha.

216
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,694
You get it, buddy?
It's a pun, it's a knee-slapper...

217
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:34,155
...it's a play on... Jesus, Joseph and Mary,
is that a blue letter?

218
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:39,460
Why didn't you tell a guy? Hold on, folks,
we're express to the top floor!

219
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:40,877
[ELEVATOR WHIRRING]

220
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,214
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

221
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:55,768
Good luck, buddy.

222
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,686
You're gonna need it. Ha-ha-ha.

223
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,025
[SCRAPING]

224
00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:12,701
[CLEARS THROAT]

225
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,495
Mr. Mussburger's office?

226
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,635
[CLEARS THROAT]

227
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:13,758
[IN SOFT VOICE]
Hello.

228
00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:17,718
- Do you have an appointment?
- No.

229
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:22,021
- Shall we look in the book? Hmm?
- Ma'am, we shall...

230
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,270
- We don't seem to be in the book.
- I wouldn't be.

231
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:29,445
If we had an appointment,
we'd be in the book.

232
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,192
[PANTING]
I have this, uh...

233
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,523
Oh, here it is. Heh.

234
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,280
[SCREAMING]

235
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:39,913
MUSSBURGER:
Gambotz?

236
00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:41,457
Harry Gambotz?

237
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:45,036
No, too risky.
He's green but he's not slow.

238
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:46,958
Who is he?

239
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:50,007
No, I want an imbecile, not a cipher
or you'd have the job.

240
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,168
Nuh-nuh.

241
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:54,470
They moved him to grommets
and O-rings.

242
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,138
He's doing pretty well.

243
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,638
No, no, not, McClanahan.

244
00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:02,891
He bungled the Teleyard merger,
thinks he's got something to prove.

245
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,847
Who let you in?

246
00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:08,650
Atwater? Tremendous.
Except I just fired him last week.

247
00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:10,228
WOMAN [OVER INTERCOM]:
<i>Mr. Mussburger...</i>

248
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:11,904
<i>...Mr. Bumstead's waiting downstairs.</i>

249
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,198
- I'll be right there.
WOMAN: <i>Yes, Mr. Mussburger.</i>

250
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:15,490
Spit it out!

251
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,568
- I, uh...
- Yeah?

252
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,200
Well, maybe you're
the company's biggest moron.

253
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:24,034
We can't use Morris. Been here too long.
He's a nice guy with too many friends.

254
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:27,495
In fact, why don't you fire him?
Scratch that, I'll fire him.

255
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:29,455
Make it fast, huh, fast!

256
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:31,540
WOMAN [OVER INTERCOM]:
<i>Mr. Bumstead is growing restless.</i>

257
00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:33,922
MUSSBURGER: Tell him I'll be right there.
Give him a magazine.

258
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,548
What, are you a mute?

259
00:21:35,753 --> 00:21:37,175
[PHONE RINGS]

260
00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:39,553
How's the stock doing? Bad?

261
00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:42,681
Well, it's not bad enough.
Listen, chump.

262
00:21:42,885 --> 00:21:46,935
Either you find me a ding-dong or tender
your key to the executive washroom.

263
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:50,689
That goes double for you, pal.
Ear-clay? Ood-gay!

264
00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:57,525
This better be good. I'm in a bad mood.

265
00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:01,784
Sir, I've got something for you
from the mail room, but first...

266
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:06,959
...if I could take a minute of your very
valuable time to show you something...

267
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:10,333
...I've been working on
for the past two or three years.

268
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,753
[METAL BALLS STRIKING]

269
00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:18,721
You know, for kids.

270
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:22,637
It's perfect for Hudsucker,
not that I'm any great genius.

271
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,061
They say inspiration
is 99 percent perspiration...

272
00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:27,138
...in my case
it's at least twice that...

273
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,065
- ...but I've got to tell you, this sweet...
- Wait a minute!

274
00:22:38,399 --> 00:22:39,776
Huh.

275
00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:57,926
Hmm.

276
00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:16,361
Sit down, son.

277
00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:20,115
Go ahead.

278
00:23:21,692 --> 00:23:23,239
Try it on.

279
00:23:36,332 --> 00:23:37,299
Put your feet up.

280
00:23:41,462 --> 00:23:42,554
Go ahead.

281
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:48,136
Let's get to know one another, shall we?

282
00:23:49,011 --> 00:23:50,638
Let's chat.

283
00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:54,600
Man-to-man.

284
00:23:58,479 --> 00:24:04,236
Now then,
you're from the basement, aren't you?

285
00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:08,368
And weren't blessed with much...

286
00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:10,995
...education?

287
00:24:11,367 --> 00:24:13,995
Well, I am a college graduate.

288
00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:16,626
But you did not excel in your studies.

289
00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:19,504
- Well, I... I made Dean's List.
- Oh.

290
00:24:19,708 --> 00:24:21,927
At the Muncie College
of Business Administration.

291
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:23,504
[CHUCKLES]

292
00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:26,807
And your friends, they called you "jerk,"
didn't they?

293
00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:28,054
Mm, unh-uhn.

294
00:24:28,258 --> 00:24:30,135
- "Dope?" "Dipstick?"
- Mm-mm. No.

295
00:24:30,344 --> 00:24:32,847
"Lamebrain?" "Schmo?"
Not even behind your back?

296
00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:35,854
Well, as a matter they voted me
"Most Likely to Succeed."

297
00:24:36,058 --> 00:24:37,310
You're fired.

298
00:24:37,518 --> 00:24:39,065
[BOTH GRUNTING]

299
00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:43,024
Get your feet off my desk,
get out of my office.

300
00:24:43,232 --> 00:24:45,155
Leave your apron in the locker room.

301
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:46,360
Oh, my God!

302
00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:50,948
The Bumstead contract. I've been
working on that deal for four years!

303
00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:53,204
Get out of here!
I'll take care of it! Get out.

304
00:24:54,034 --> 00:24:57,129
You could have destroyed
the most sensitive document of my career.

305
00:24:57,329 --> 00:24:59,752
WOMAN: <i>Mr. Bumstead</i>
<i>is threatening to leave the building.</i>

306
00:24:59,957 --> 00:25:01,083
I'm on my way down.

307
00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,885
We need the first page
of the contract retyped.

308
00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:05,053
[PHONE RINGS]

309
00:25:05,254 --> 00:25:06,722
WOMAN:
<i>Yes, Mr. Mussburger.</i>

310
00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:10,142
Yeah? Uh-huh. Yeah.

311
00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:11,969
Out! Out of the office!

312
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:15,977
Down three points, huh?

313
00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:18,525
That's encouraging.
How about New York?

314
00:25:19,435 --> 00:25:21,529
Not that way, through the door!

315
00:25:21,729 --> 00:25:24,232
WOMAN: <i>Sir, it'll take three hours</i>
<i>to retype the Bumstead contract...</i>

316
00:25:25,107 --> 00:25:28,031
MUSSBURGER: Where are you going?
Get out of here! Stop that!

317
00:25:28,235 --> 00:25:29,953
WOMAN:
<i>Mr. Bumstead's threatening to leave.</i>

318
00:25:30,154 --> 00:25:31,246
Not the whole contract,
just the first page.

319
00:25:31,447 --> 00:25:32,414
[NORVILLE MUMBLING]

320
00:25:32,614 --> 00:25:34,491
I'll be there.
Give him another magazine.

321
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:36,702
WOMAN: He <i>says he'll leave.</i>
MUSSBURGER: I said I'll be there!

322
00:25:36,910 --> 00:25:38,912
<i>And you're wife's been trying to reach you.</i>

323
00:25:39,121 --> 00:25:42,341
Up on your feet! We don't crawl
here at Hudsucker Industries!

324
00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,134
- My leg is on fire!
- No assumptions!

325
00:25:44,334 --> 00:25:48,589
It's early yet. Just let me know
where we stand at the closing bell.

326
00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:50,515
[PHONE RINGING]

327
00:25:53,594 --> 00:25:54,846
[GRUNTS]

328
00:25:57,431 --> 00:25:59,775
Oh, my God, the Bumstead contract!

329
00:25:59,975 --> 00:26:02,228
[NORVILLE MUMBLING]

330
00:26:05,314 --> 00:26:07,157
No magazines! No coffee!

331
00:26:07,357 --> 00:26:12,284
Mussburger! I wanna see Mussburger!
Or did he jump out a window too?

332
00:26:12,946 --> 00:26:16,576
Don't worry, Mr. Mussburger, I got you!
I got you by your pants.

333
00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,330
Pants?

334
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:28,846
Mr. Mussburger, I'm gonna
give your pants a nice double stitch.

335
00:26:29,046 --> 00:26:33,927
It'll make them real strong
and you're gonna look real sharp.

336
00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:39,265
- No, single stitch is fine.
- But the double stitch, she lasts forever.

337
00:26:40,265 --> 00:26:43,895
Why on earth would I want
a double stitch?

338
00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:45,821
To pad your account.

339
00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:47,819
Single stitch is fine.

340
00:26:53,904 --> 00:26:55,451
Damn!

341
00:26:57,825 --> 00:27:01,125
[HUMMING]

342
00:27:01,328 --> 00:27:05,208
Oh, what the heck!
Mr. Mussburger is such a nice man...

343
00:27:05,415 --> 00:27:08,544
...I'm gonna give him
a double stitch anyway. Heh-heh-heh.

344
00:27:09,086 --> 00:27:12,807
Ah. That's some strong stitch, you bet!

345
00:27:23,559 --> 00:27:25,937
[ALL LAUGHING]

346
00:27:39,908 --> 00:27:41,876
[NORVILLE LAUGHING]

347
00:27:51,044 --> 00:27:53,012
[CONTINUES LAUGHING]

348
00:27:57,259 --> 00:27:59,227
[GROUP LAUGHING]

349
00:28:20,908 --> 00:28:22,876
[LAUGHING]

350
00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:33,636
[LAUGHING]

351
00:28:58,737 --> 00:29:01,741
AL:
"The Einstein of Enterprise."

352
00:29:01,949 --> 00:29:04,327
"The Edison of Industry."

353
00:29:04,701 --> 00:29:07,580
"The Billion-Dollar Cranium!"

354
00:29:08,830 --> 00:29:11,174
"Idea Man!"

355
00:29:12,209 --> 00:29:14,553
And not one of you has given me
a story on him!

356
00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:16,596
Bunch of lamebrains!

357
00:29:16,797 --> 00:29:19,141
Facts, figures, charts.
They never sold a newspaper!

358
00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:21,935
I read this morning's <i>Argus</i>,
let me tell you something.

359
00:29:22,135 --> 00:29:24,809
I'd wrap a fish in it!
I'd use it as kindling!

360
00:29:25,013 --> 00:29:27,607
I'd train my poodle on it
if he wasn't a French poodle...

361
00:29:27,808 --> 00:29:29,526
...and partial to pages of <i>Paris-Soir</i>.

362
00:29:29,726 --> 00:29:32,650
But I wouldn't shell out a hard-earned
nickel to read the thing!

363
00:29:32,854 --> 00:29:34,777
Come on, chief, give us a break.

364
00:29:34,982 --> 00:29:37,826
Sure, Tibbs. Take a break.

365
00:29:38,026 --> 00:29:40,575
Go to Florida. Lie in the sun.

366
00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:43,373
Wait for a coconut to drop.
File a story on it.

367
00:29:43,573 --> 00:29:46,793
It'd be more of a grabber than your piece
on the county grain surplus!

368
00:29:46,994 --> 00:29:49,668
The human angle!
That's what sells papers!

369
00:29:49,871 --> 00:29:53,171
We need a front page with a heart
and the Idea Man can put it there!

370
00:29:53,375 --> 00:29:55,002
Look, chief, if we had more access...

371
00:29:55,210 --> 00:29:57,759
If a frog had wings
it wouldn't bump it's ass a-hopping.

372
00:29:57,963 --> 00:29:59,761
I don't want excuses, I want results!

373
00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:02,514
What makes the Idea Man tick?
Where's he from?

374
00:30:02,718 --> 00:30:06,348
I want to know everything about him!
Has he got a girl? Has he got parents?

375
00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:08,603
Everybody has parents.

376
00:30:08,807 --> 00:30:10,855
All right, how many?

377
00:30:11,393 --> 00:30:14,522
How about it, Parkinson?
You've been awful quiet over there.

378
00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:16,858
- Uh...
- Still waters run deep.

379
00:30:17,065 --> 00:30:19,693
Only thing deep with Parkinson
are the holes in his ears.

380
00:30:19,901 --> 00:30:21,744
Yes, Idea Man.

381
00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:25,370
What are his hopes and dreams,
his desires and aspirations?

382
00:30:25,574 --> 00:30:28,202
Does he think all the time
or a certain portion of the day?

383
00:30:28,410 --> 00:30:30,583
How tall is he? Shoe size?
Where does he sleep?

384
00:30:30,787 --> 00:30:32,209
What does he have for breakfast?

385
00:30:32,414 --> 00:30:34,291
Does he put jam on his toast
or doesn't he?

386
00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:36,547
If not, why not and since when?

387
00:30:37,294 --> 00:30:38,716
Well?

388
00:30:39,671 --> 00:30:41,719
Ah. You're useless.

389
00:30:41,923 --> 00:30:44,722
Yes. Idea Man. "Creator."

390
00:30:44,926 --> 00:30:47,975
"Innovator." "Cerebrator."

391
00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:49,898
WOMAN: Fake!
- Huh?

392
00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:51,816
I tell you, the guy's a phony.

393
00:30:52,017 --> 00:30:53,564
AL: Phony, huh?
- As a three-dollar bill.

394
00:30:53,769 --> 00:30:55,191
- Says who?
- Says me, Amy Archer!

395
00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:57,739
Why is he an Idea Man?
Because Hudsucker says he is?

396
00:30:57,939 --> 00:31:00,567
What are his ideas?
Why can't anyone interview him?

397
00:31:00,776 --> 00:31:03,404
Five bucks says
she mentions her Pulitzer.

398
00:31:03,612 --> 00:31:05,580
Again? You're on.

399
00:31:05,781 --> 00:31:07,829
Just take a look at the mug on this guy.

400
00:31:08,033 --> 00:31:10,786
The jutting eyebrows, the simian forehead,
the idiotic grin.

401
00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:15,295
He has a face only a mother could love
on payday.

402
00:31:15,499 --> 00:31:18,093
The only story here is how
this guy made a monkey out of you, AI.

403
00:31:18,293 --> 00:31:19,260
[GIBBERS]

404
00:31:19,461 --> 00:31:21,008
Yeah, monkey or not,
I'm still editor of this rag.

405
00:31:21,213 --> 00:31:24,217
You were doing the piece on the FBI.
"Hoover: When Will He Marry?"

406
00:31:24,424 --> 00:31:27,428
- I filed it yesterday. Nice tie, Earl.
- Well, do a follow-up.

407
00:31:27,636 --> 00:31:29,559
"Hoover: Crime Buster or Pantywaist?"

408
00:31:29,763 --> 00:31:33,267
The rest of you mugs get off your brains
and get me that Idea Man story!

409
00:31:33,475 --> 00:31:36,194
AI, he's the bunk.

410
00:31:41,983 --> 00:31:44,452
- I'll stake my Pulitzer on it!
MAN: Hmm.

411
00:31:46,321 --> 00:31:48,289
Say, buddy,
where'd you get the new duds?

412
00:31:48,490 --> 00:31:51,790
Say, buddy, how did old bucket butt
like his blue letter? Heh.

413
00:31:51,993 --> 00:31:55,338
Did he bust a gut? Did he die?
Well, hello, Mr. Mussburger.

414
00:31:55,539 --> 00:31:58,258
- Lobby, we haven't got all day.
- Right away, Mr. Mussburger.

415
00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:00,593
How are you this fine morning, sir?

416
00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:03,722
It's been a pleasure serving you today,
sir.

417
00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:06,766
It's been a pleasure serving you too, uh,
buddy.

418
00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:09,015
Uh, Sid, shouldn't we be
a little concerned...

419
00:32:09,219 --> 00:32:11,972
...with the downward spiral of our stock
these past few days?

420
00:32:12,180 --> 00:32:14,478
You're the expert,
but at the Muncie College...

421
00:32:14,683 --> 00:32:16,435
Relax, it's only natural...

422
00:32:16,643 --> 00:32:19,988
...in a period of transition for the more
timid element to run for cover.

423
00:32:20,188 --> 00:32:21,656
Like I said, you're the expert...

424
00:32:21,857 --> 00:32:24,280
...but do you remember the plan
I outlined for you...

425
00:32:24,484 --> 00:32:27,328
...the day I set fire to your office?
The day I was promoted?

426
00:32:27,529 --> 00:32:32,786
I do remember and I was impressed.
But that's all forgotten now.

427
00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:35,374
NORVILLE:
Oh. Thank you, Sid.

428
00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:39,341
The reason I mention it is it requires
such a small capital investment...

429
00:32:39,541 --> 00:32:41,009
Again, you are the expert here.

430
00:32:41,209 --> 00:32:43,428
...but there's such an enormous
potential profit...

431
00:32:43,628 --> 00:32:46,632
...given the discretionary income
of the burgeoning middle-class.

432
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:47,841
[TIRES SCREECH]

433
00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:50,143
So if you agree, I'd like to bounce the idea
off a few people at lunch.

434
00:32:50,343 --> 00:32:51,515
Sure, sure.

435
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:55,350
Tell whoever you want.
I'd like to hear about it at some point too.

436
00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:09,205
- I got gas, Benny.
- Yeah. Tell me about it.

437
00:33:09,404 --> 00:33:12,374
LOU:
No kidding, Benny. I got gas.

438
00:33:12,574 --> 00:33:15,919
BENNY: You get the special?
LOU: Far from it.

439
00:33:17,787 --> 00:33:19,255
[LOU WHISTLES]

440
00:33:19,456 --> 00:33:21,174
LOU:
Enter the dame.

441
00:33:21,374 --> 00:33:23,843
BENNY:
There's one in every story.

442
00:33:24,044 --> 00:33:26,718
LOU: Ten bucks says
she's looking for a handout.

443
00:33:26,922 --> 00:33:30,267
BENNY: Twenty bucks says not here,
she don't find one.

444
00:33:30,467 --> 00:33:33,220
LOU: She's looking for her mark.
BENNY: She finds him.

445
00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:38,559
LOU: She sits down
and orders a light lunch.

446
00:33:39,267 --> 00:33:41,816
BENNY:
How will she pay for this lunch?

447
00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:45,445
LOU: She looks through her purse.
BENNY: No money.

448
00:33:45,649 --> 00:33:48,152
LOU:
The mark notices.

449
00:33:48,777 --> 00:33:52,077
- He's not noticing, Benny.
BENNY: Maybe he's wise.

450
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,703
LOU:
He don't look wise.

451
00:33:55,992 --> 00:33:57,335
BENNY:
Plan two.

452
00:33:57,536 --> 00:33:59,459
Here come the waterworks.

453
00:33:59,663 --> 00:34:01,711
LOU: Yellowstone.
BENNY: Old Faithful.

454
00:34:01,915 --> 00:34:03,883
LOU:
Hello, Niagara.

455
00:34:04,084 --> 00:34:06,837
BENNY: He notices.
LOU: She's distressed.

456
00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:08,843
BENNY:
He's concerned.

457
00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:11,220
LOU:
She explains her predicament.

458
00:34:11,424 --> 00:34:16,021
LOU AND BENNY [IN UNISON]:
And enter the light lunch.

459
00:34:16,221 --> 00:34:20,601
BENNY: She's got other problems.
LOU: There's illness in the family.

460
00:34:20,809 --> 00:34:23,608
BENNY: Her mother needs an operation.
LOU: Urgently.

461
00:34:23,812 --> 00:34:26,565
BENNY: Adenoids.
LOU: No, Benny.

462
00:34:27,023 --> 00:34:29,151
Lumbago.

463
00:34:29,359 --> 00:34:31,532
BENNY:
That gag's got whiskers on it.

464
00:34:31,736 --> 00:34:34,410
LOU:
Uh-oh. He ain't biting, Benny.

465
00:34:34,614 --> 00:34:37,618
BENNY: She's losing him, Lou.
LOU: Maybe he's wise.

466
00:34:37,826 --> 00:34:39,954
BENNY:
He don't look wise.

467
00:34:40,161 --> 00:34:42,789
LOU: How does she pull this out?
BENNY: He's getting away.

468
00:34:42,998 --> 00:34:46,423
LOU: She better think fast.
BENNY: She isn't.

469
00:34:46,626 --> 00:34:48,754
LOU AND BENNY [IN UNISON]:
She is!

470
00:34:48,962 --> 00:34:50,805
LOU:
She's good, Benny.

471
00:34:51,006 --> 00:34:53,134
BENNY:
She's damn good, Lou.

472
00:34:53,842 --> 00:34:56,095
Can I get you boys anything else?

473
00:34:58,179 --> 00:34:59,772
Bromo.

474
00:35:00,181 --> 00:35:01,774
Bromo.

475
00:35:03,476 --> 00:35:06,980
AMY: I'm sorry we had to take the stairs.
It was just that horrible elevator boy.

476
00:35:07,188 --> 00:35:10,112
I can't say how much I appreciate
your listening to my story.

477
00:35:10,317 --> 00:35:14,322
I'm lucky to find someone in this bustling
city with a stout heart and a ready ear.

478
00:35:14,529 --> 00:35:17,453
At any rate, there I was traveling
this great country.

479
00:35:17,657 --> 00:35:18,783
Some I met were kind to me,
others exceedingly cruel.

480
00:35:18,992 --> 00:35:20,039
[NORVILLE PANTING]

481
00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:22,462
Traveling by motor bus, rail,
even by thumb.

482
00:35:22,662 --> 00:35:23,959
The couch, please.

483
00:35:24,164 --> 00:35:27,589
Hoarding every dollar, counting
every nickel, pinching every penny.

484
00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:30,511
It's been a long road leading
to the coffee shop downstairs.

485
00:35:30,712 --> 00:35:34,091
Not that I'd trade a day, an hour,
a moment of it for anything.

486
00:35:34,299 --> 00:35:35,721
I don't know what came over me.

487
00:35:35,925 --> 00:35:37,848
It was the shock of eating
after so long...

488
00:35:38,053 --> 00:35:40,932
...without the enzymes kicking in
after so long...

489
00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:44,769
[MUTED DIALOGUE]

490
00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:48,192
Then you couldn't possibly know
what it is to be tired and hungry.

491
00:35:48,396 --> 00:35:50,319
- Hungry, anyway.
- I don't wanna bore you...

492
00:35:50,523 --> 00:35:52,742
...with all details of my life.
Not a happy story.

493
00:35:52,942 --> 00:35:55,240
I'm jobless
but not for want of trying.

494
00:35:55,445 --> 00:35:58,915
I'm friendless, with no one to take care
of me and had you not come along...

495
00:35:59,115 --> 00:36:01,334
- ...exactly when you did...
NORVILLE: I, myself...

496
00:36:01,534 --> 00:36:03,787
At any rate, I arrived in town
not 10 days ago...

497
00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:07,340
...full of dreams and aspirations,
anxious to make my way in the world...

498
00:36:07,540 --> 00:36:08,792
...a little naive perhaps...

499
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,048
...but armed with determination,
work ethic...

500
00:36:11,252 --> 00:36:12,720
...and a belief in the future...

501
00:36:12,921 --> 00:36:14,889
- I, myself...
AMY:...only to have that belief...

502
00:36:15,090 --> 00:36:18,344
...that unsullied optimism, dashed against
the marble of the workplace.

503
00:36:18,551 --> 00:36:21,555
Such is life. Seek and you shall
find. Work and you shall prosper.

504
00:36:21,763 --> 00:36:23,231
- Cigarette?
- No, thank you.

505
00:36:23,431 --> 00:36:25,809
Seek and you shall find,
work and you shall prosper.

506
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:28,236
These were the watchwords
of my education...

507
00:36:28,436 --> 00:36:30,188
...the values instilled in me...

508
00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:33,526
...while I was growing up in a little town
you've never heard of.

509
00:36:33,733 --> 00:36:35,235
- Mind if I join you?
- Be my guest.

510
00:36:35,443 --> 00:36:37,537
A little town you've probably
never heard of...

511
00:36:37,737 --> 00:36:39,535
...a dusty crossroads of which
you've probably never heard.

512
00:36:39,739 --> 00:36:40,740
[SCREAMS]

513
00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:45,124
Excuse me. Executive washroom.

514
00:36:45,829 --> 00:36:47,456
[NORVILLE GROANING]

515
00:36:47,664 --> 00:36:49,416
Are you all right?

516
00:36:49,624 --> 00:36:51,092
[NORVILLE YELLING]

517
00:36:51,292 --> 00:36:54,466
Is it your lunch?
The chicken à la king?

518
00:36:56,589 --> 00:37:01,641
- Is the à la king repeating on you?
- No, I'm fine. You were saying?

519
00:37:03,346 --> 00:37:04,472
Uh...

520
00:37:04,681 --> 00:37:06,934
[IN LOW VOICE]
Values, watchwords, tender years.

521
00:37:07,142 --> 00:37:10,772
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
A town you've probably never heard of.

522
00:37:10,979 --> 00:37:13,448
Muncie, Indiana.

523
00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:18,870
- You're from Muncie?
- Why, yes. Do you know it?

524
00:37:20,530 --> 00:37:24,285
Uh... Uhn!

525
00:37:24,659 --> 00:37:26,661
[NORVILLE YELLING AND GRUNTING]

526
00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:37,805
[SINGING]
<i>Fight on</i>

527
00:37:38,006 --> 00:37:41,306
<i>Fight on</i>
<i>Dear old Muncie</i>

528
00:37:41,509 --> 00:37:42,806
<i>Fight on</i>

529
00:37:43,011 --> 00:37:45,480
<i>Hoist the gold and blue</i>

530
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:49,480
<i>You'll be tattered</i>
<i>Torn and hurting</i>

531
00:37:49,684 --> 00:37:54,315
<i>Once the Muncie's done with</i>

532
00:37:54,522 --> 00:37:57,776
<i>You</i>

533
00:37:57,984 --> 00:38:00,908
<i>You</i>

534
00:38:01,112 --> 00:38:06,585
- Go, Eagles!
- Go, Eagles!

535
00:38:06,785 --> 00:38:09,208
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

536
00:38:10,747 --> 00:38:11,794
A Muncie girl!

537
00:38:11,956 --> 00:38:13,754
- What do you know about that?
- Hmm.

538
00:38:14,876 --> 00:38:15,923
I'll tell you what, Amy.

539
00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:18,221
I'm gonna cancel the rest
of my appointments...

540
00:38:18,421 --> 00:38:19,968
...and get you a job here at Hud.

541
00:38:20,173 --> 00:38:21,846
Oh, no! Really...

542
00:38:22,050 --> 00:38:25,395
Don't bother to thank me. It's easy.
I know where a vacancy just came up.

543
00:38:25,595 --> 00:38:27,848
- Mailroom. This will only take a moment.
MAN [OVER INTERCOM]: <i>Yeah.</i>

544
00:38:28,056 --> 00:38:29,854
Good afternoon, this is Norville Barnes.

545
00:38:30,058 --> 00:38:31,685
MUSSBURGER [OVER INTERCOM]:
<i>Barnes! Where the hell have you been?</i>

546
00:38:31,893 --> 00:38:34,988
<i>- Where's my voucher?</i>
- Um...

547
00:38:35,188 --> 00:38:36,861
- I'm not sure.
<i>- I need that voucher!</i>

548
00:38:37,065 --> 00:38:39,193
<i>I told you a week ago it was important!</i>

549
00:38:40,068 --> 00:38:42,070
Ahem, I'm president of the company now.

550
00:38:42,278 --> 00:38:45,657
<i>I don't care</i>
<i>if you're president of the company!</i>

551
00:38:45,865 --> 00:38:47,867
<i>I need the voucher now!</i>

552
00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:51,546
Look, why don't you work in here
with me?

553
00:38:51,746 --> 00:38:53,919
Are you familiar
with the mimeograph machine?

554
00:38:54,082 --> 00:38:59,009
Well, of course. I went to the
Muncie Secretarial, uh, Polytechnic.

555
00:38:59,212 --> 00:39:01,055
A Muncie girl! Can you beat that?

556
00:39:01,965 --> 00:39:04,559
I just don't know
how to thank you, Mr. Barnes.

557
00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:06,557
Please, Norville.

558
00:39:06,761 --> 00:39:10,641
NORVILLE: Go, Eagles! Heh.
AMY: Go, Eagles!

559
00:39:10,849 --> 00:39:13,147
[SMITTY LAUGHING]

560
00:39:13,768 --> 00:39:16,942
"Once the Munce..." Holy moly!

561
00:39:17,146 --> 00:39:20,400
Is this guy from Chumpsville?
I even pulled the old mother routine.

562
00:39:20,608 --> 00:39:21,780
- Adenoids?
- Lumbago.

563
00:39:22,277 --> 00:39:24,120
Phew. That gag's got whiskers on it.

564
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:25,412
AMY: I tell you,
the Hudsucker board's up to something.

565
00:39:25,613 --> 00:39:26,705
[PHONE RINGING]

566
00:39:26,906 --> 00:39:29,785
What's a six-letter word
for an affliction of the hypothalamus?

567
00:39:29,993 --> 00:39:32,462
And it's a cinch... Goiter.
...This guy isn't in on it.

568
00:39:32,662 --> 00:39:35,290
SMITTY: She's right here.
- How much time to make the late final?

569
00:39:35,498 --> 00:39:37,796
- Chief.
- Tsk. Hiya, chief.

570
00:39:38,001 --> 00:39:39,878
Just the person I wanted to apologize to.

571
00:39:40,086 --> 00:39:43,761
- About seven minutes.
- Yeah, I was all wet about your Idea Man.

572
00:39:43,965 --> 00:39:48,721
Well, thanks for being so generous.
It is human and you are divine.

573
00:39:48,928 --> 00:39:51,272
No, he's no faker.

574
00:39:51,472 --> 00:39:54,772
He's 100 percent real McCoy,
beware of imitations, genuine article.

575
00:39:54,976 --> 00:39:58,355
The guy's a real moron,
as in a five-letter word for imbecile.

576
00:39:58,563 --> 00:40:01,692
Oh, as pure a specimen
as I've ever run across. Okay.

577
00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:04,278
If working at the <i>Argus</i>
doesn't make me an expert...

578
00:40:04,485 --> 00:40:07,989
...then my name isn't Amy Archer
and I never won the Pulitzer Prize.

579
00:40:08,197 --> 00:40:09,824
In 1957.

580
00:40:10,033 --> 00:40:13,287
My, oh, my series
on the reunited triplets.

581
00:40:13,494 --> 00:40:16,748
Well, come down here, hammerhead,
and I'll show it to you!

582
00:40:16,956 --> 00:40:19,300
What's a three-letter word
for a flightless bird?

583
00:40:19,500 --> 00:40:20,501
AMY:
Not now, I'm busy.

584
00:40:20,710 --> 00:40:23,680
Right, I said, "hammerhead,"
as in a 10-letter word for a smug...

585
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,052
...bullying newspaper man.

586
00:40:25,256 --> 00:40:27,054
Gnu. Who couldn't find... That's G-N-U.

587
00:40:27,258 --> 00:40:30,603
Couldn't find the Empire State Building
with a compass, map and a guide.

588
00:40:30,803 --> 00:40:33,773
Or is it Emu? That's just potatoes.
Here comes the gravy.

589
00:40:33,973 --> 00:40:35,270
The chump really likes me.

590
00:40:35,475 --> 00:40:38,354
- Ah. A Muncie girl!
- Better off falling for a rattlesnake.

591
00:40:38,561 --> 00:40:41,110
This guy's just a patsy
and I'm gonna find out what for.

592
00:40:41,314 --> 00:40:43,316
There's a real story here,
some kind of plot.

593
00:40:43,524 --> 00:40:45,492
A set-up.
Oh, and say, did I tell you?

594
00:40:45,693 --> 00:40:47,411
- He didn't offer you money?
- A sawbuck!

595
00:40:47,612 --> 00:40:49,580
Ten smackers! Let's grab a highball!

596
00:40:49,781 --> 00:40:51,454
- On Norville Barnes.
- Yeah.

597
00:40:51,658 --> 00:40:52,659
[AMY WHISTLES]

598
00:40:52,867 --> 00:40:54,414
Copy!

599
00:41:23,064 --> 00:41:25,158
Ms. Smith, would you come in
and take a letter?

600
00:41:26,526 --> 00:41:28,574
Of all the cockamamy...

601
00:41:30,446 --> 00:41:33,199
Did you see the front page
of today's <i>Manhattan Argus</i>?

602
00:41:33,408 --> 00:41:37,584
Well, I, uh, didn't bother to read the article.
I didn't think the picture did you justice.

603
00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:39,755
Well, the picture's fine.

604
00:41:39,956 --> 00:41:42,254
It's what that knuckle-headed
dame wrote underneath.

605
00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:44,927
Of all the irresponsible...
Take this down.

606
00:41:45,128 --> 00:41:47,222
Dear, Ms. Archer.

607
00:41:47,422 --> 00:41:50,972
I call you "Miss" because you seem
to have missed the boat completely.

608
00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:53,143
How would you know if I'm an imbecile?

609
00:41:53,344 --> 00:41:55,938
You didn't have the guts to come
interview me man-to-man!

610
00:41:56,139 --> 00:41:57,857
Change "man-to-man"
to "face-to-face."

611
00:41:58,057 --> 00:42:01,231
Change "face-to-face" to "eye-to-eye"
and "guts" to "common decency."

612
00:42:01,436 --> 00:42:03,564
These wild speculations
about my intelligence...

613
00:42:03,771 --> 00:42:06,069
...these preposterous inventions
would be suited...

614
00:42:06,274 --> 00:42:09,027
...to the pages of
<i>Amazing Tales Magazine</i>.

615
00:42:09,235 --> 00:42:11,488
If the editors of the <i>Manhattan Argus</i>
see fit...

616
00:42:11,696 --> 00:42:13,915
...to publish the rantings
of a disordered mind...

617
00:42:14,115 --> 00:42:16,493
...perhaps they will see fit
to publish this letter.

618
00:42:16,701 --> 00:42:18,123
But I most seriously doubt it.

619
00:42:18,327 --> 00:42:21,297
As I doubt also that you could find a home
at <i>Amazing Tales</i>...

620
00:42:21,497 --> 00:42:24,091
...a periodical which I have enjoyed
for many years.

621
00:42:24,292 --> 00:42:27,136
Sincerely, et cetera, et cetera,
et cetera.

622
00:42:33,801 --> 00:42:35,769
Is that all, Mr. Barnes?

623
00:42:35,970 --> 00:42:37,313
Uh...

624
00:42:37,889 --> 00:42:41,393
You know me, Amy, better than this dame.
Do you think I'm an imbecile?

625
00:42:41,809 --> 00:42:43,436
Oh, well, I'm sure I...

626
00:42:43,644 --> 00:42:46,864
Tell the truth. I trust you.
I place a lot of stock in your opinion.

627
00:42:48,316 --> 00:42:50,865
- Well...
- Oh, sure, heh, you're biased.

628
00:42:51,069 --> 00:42:52,116
You're a fellow Muncian, heh.

629
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:53,321
Hmm.

630
00:42:53,529 --> 00:42:58,285
But let me ask you a question:
Would an imbecile come up with this?

631
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,008
I designed it myself.

632
00:43:06,793 --> 00:43:10,343
This sweet baby will put
Hudsucker right back on top.

633
00:43:10,546 --> 00:43:11,889
Uh-huh.

634
00:43:12,632 --> 00:43:14,305
You know, for kids.

635
00:43:17,303 --> 00:43:19,601
Why don't I just type this up?

636
00:43:19,806 --> 00:43:22,650
Oh, no, Amy, that won't be necessary.
I shouldn't send it.

637
00:43:22,850 --> 00:43:25,148
She's just doing her job, I guess.

638
00:43:25,353 --> 00:43:27,856
I don't know, maybe she does deserve it.

639
00:43:28,064 --> 00:43:31,113
Maybe she should have come in here
and faced you man-to-man.

640
00:43:31,317 --> 00:43:32,318
NORVILLE:
She had a deadline.

641
00:43:32,527 --> 00:43:36,532
Sure, but she still could've gotten
your side, for the record.

642
00:43:36,739 --> 00:43:39,538
Well, it's done now. What's the use
of grousing about it? Ha, ha.

643
00:43:39,742 --> 00:43:42,962
Forget the letter, Amy,
I just had to blow off some steam. Heh.

644
00:43:43,162 --> 00:43:45,881
She's probably just a little confused.

645
00:43:46,415 --> 00:43:49,840
- Confused?
- She's probably a fast-talking career gal...

646
00:43:50,044 --> 00:43:52,763
...thinks she's one of the boys.
If you know what I mean, heh.

647
00:43:52,964 --> 00:43:55,513
Oh, I'm quite sure
I don't know what you mean.

648
00:43:55,716 --> 00:43:58,185
Suffers from one of these complexes
they have nowadays.

649
00:43:58,386 --> 00:43:59,683
Seems pretty obvious.

650
00:43:59,887 --> 00:44:02,481
She's probably very unattractive
and bitter about it.

651
00:44:02,682 --> 00:44:04,355
- Oh, is that it?
- Yeah.

652
00:44:04,559 --> 00:44:06,436
She probably dresses in men's clothing...

653
00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:08,738
...drinks with the guys
at the watering hole...

654
00:44:08,938 --> 00:44:11,407
...hobnobs with some smooth-talking
heel named Biff...

655
00:44:11,607 --> 00:44:13,359
- ...or Smoocher or, uh...
- Smitty.

656
00:44:13,568 --> 00:44:15,912
Exactly. I bet she's ugly, real ugly.

657
00:44:16,112 --> 00:44:18,615
Otherwise, why isn't her picture
next to her byline?

658
00:44:18,823 --> 00:44:22,123
Oh, maybe she puts her work
ahead of her personal appearance.

659
00:44:22,326 --> 00:44:24,420
I bet that's exactly what she tells herself.

660
00:44:24,620 --> 00:44:27,169
But you and I both know
she's a dried-up, bitter old maid.

661
00:44:27,373 --> 00:44:28,374
[CHUCKLES]

662
00:44:28,583 --> 00:44:30,756
Amy, how about we grab
a little dinner and a show after work?

663
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:32,507
I was thinking maybe <i>The King and I</i>.

664
00:44:33,963 --> 00:44:35,340
Uh, how about <i>Oklahoma</i>!?

665
00:44:35,548 --> 00:44:38,051
Norville, you don't know
a thing about that woman!

666
00:44:38,259 --> 00:44:39,761
You don't know who she really is.

667
00:44:39,969 --> 00:44:42,313
And only a numbskull thinks
he knows things...

668
00:44:42,513 --> 00:44:44,641
...about things he
knows nothing, uh, about.

669
00:44:46,642 --> 00:44:48,895
NORVILLE:
Say, what gives?

670
00:45:02,909 --> 00:45:05,708
[WHISTLING]

671
00:45:12,585 --> 00:45:14,804
[DOOR OPENS]

672
00:45:40,947 --> 00:45:42,039
Uh-huh.

673
00:45:42,698 --> 00:45:44,496
[CLOSES BOOK]

674
00:46:50,474 --> 00:46:53,819
[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

675
00:46:55,354 --> 00:46:56,731
The inventory of the Jacksonville...

676
00:46:56,939 --> 00:47:00,239
...facility should be reduced
by 15 percent.

677
00:47:00,443 --> 00:47:02,411
Memo from the desk
of Sidney J. Mussburger...

678
00:47:02,611 --> 00:47:05,160
MAN: What are you doing down there,
Ms. Archer?

679
00:47:05,364 --> 00:47:06,991
Huh?

680
00:47:14,081 --> 00:47:17,301
Who are you?
How did you know who I am?

681
00:47:17,501 --> 00:47:19,253
[CHUCKLES]

682
00:47:19,462 --> 00:47:23,217
I suspect Old Moses knows
just about everything...

683
00:47:23,424 --> 00:47:26,223
...leastways if it concerns Hudsucker.

684
00:47:26,427 --> 00:47:28,555
But who are you?
What do you do here?

685
00:47:28,763 --> 00:47:33,894
I keep the old circle turning.
This old clock needs plenty of care.

686
00:47:34,101 --> 00:47:36,354
Time is money, Ms. Archer.

687
00:47:36,562 --> 00:47:39,190
And money drives
that old global economy...

688
00:47:39,398 --> 00:47:41,742
...and keeps Big Daddy Earth
spinning around.

689
00:47:41,942 --> 00:47:45,116
- See, without that capital formation...
- Yeah, yeah.

690
00:47:45,321 --> 00:47:48,746
Say, you won't tell anyone about me,
will you?

691
00:47:48,949 --> 00:47:53,955
I don't tell no one nothing
unless they ask.

692
00:47:54,163 --> 00:47:56,586
That just ain't Old Moses' way.

693
00:47:56,791 --> 00:47:58,759
So if you know
everything about Hudsucker...

694
00:47:58,959 --> 00:48:02,088
...tell me why the board decided
to make Norville Barnes president?

695
00:48:02,463 --> 00:48:05,558
Well, that even surprised Old Moses
at first.

696
00:48:05,758 --> 00:48:08,807
- I didn't think the board was that smart.
- "That smart"?

697
00:48:09,011 --> 00:48:10,934
But then I figured it out.

698
00:48:11,138 --> 00:48:14,187
They did it because they figured
young Norville for an imbecile...

699
00:48:14,392 --> 00:48:15,939
...like some other people I know.

700
00:48:16,435 --> 00:48:19,689
Now, why on earth would the board
want a nitwit to be president?

701
00:48:19,897 --> 00:48:24,118
Because they're little piglets.
They're trying to inspire panic...

702
00:48:24,318 --> 00:48:27,697
...make that stock cheap so they can
snatch it all up for themselves.

703
00:48:27,905 --> 00:48:32,081
But Norville, he's got some tricks up
his sleeve. He does.

704
00:48:32,284 --> 00:48:34,161
You know, for kids.

705
00:48:34,370 --> 00:48:35,462
- Hee-hee.
- Uh-huh.

706
00:48:35,663 --> 00:48:39,008
Yeah, he's a smart one, that Norville.

707
00:48:39,208 --> 00:48:42,633
But I guess you don't really know him
any better than that board does...

708
00:48:42,837 --> 00:48:43,804
...do you, Ms. Archer?

709
00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:47,641
- Well, maybe I...
- And only some kind of knuckle-head...

710
00:48:47,842 --> 00:48:50,641
...thinks she knows things
about things she, uh...

711
00:48:51,762 --> 00:48:54,390
When she don't, uh...

712
00:48:54,598 --> 00:48:57,943
- How'd that go?
- Well, it's hardly the same.

713
00:48:58,144 --> 00:49:00,613
Why, you don't even know
your own self.

714
00:49:00,813 --> 00:49:04,488
You ain't exactly the genuine article,
are you, Ms. Archer?

715
00:49:04,692 --> 00:49:06,820
Yes, well, in connection with my job...

716
00:49:07,027 --> 00:49:09,530
...sometimes I have to, uh, go undercover,
as it were.

717
00:49:09,738 --> 00:49:11,490
I don't mean that.

718
00:49:11,699 --> 00:49:15,670
Why are you pretending to be
such a hard old sourpuss?

719
00:49:15,870 --> 00:49:18,168
Ain't gonna
never make you happy.

720
00:49:20,082 --> 00:49:22,505
I'm happy enough.

721
00:49:22,710 --> 00:49:24,178
[LAUGHING]

722
00:49:24,753 --> 00:49:26,175
Okay, Ms. Archer.

723
00:49:27,715 --> 00:49:29,308
I got gears to see to.

724
00:49:29,508 --> 00:49:31,476
[LAUGHING]

725
00:49:34,472 --> 00:49:36,816
I'm plenty happy!

726
00:49:43,230 --> 00:49:44,698
AMY:
Hello?

727
00:49:46,901 --> 00:49:48,949
- I can't print that!
- Why not? It's all true.

728
00:49:49,153 --> 00:49:51,872
The board's using him to depress
the stock to buy it cheap.

729
00:49:52,072 --> 00:49:53,995
It's pure speculation!
They'd have my butt in a satchel!

730
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:57,579
- Ah. Old satchel butt.
AMY: I know they're gonna buy that stock.

731
00:49:57,786 --> 00:49:59,254
You don't.
They haven't bought it.

732
00:49:59,455 --> 00:50:01,628
The stock's cheap!
What are they waiting for?

733
00:50:01,832 --> 00:50:04,301
- I don't know.
- Amy's hunches are usually pretty good.

734
00:50:04,502 --> 00:50:07,176
You don't accuse somebody of stock
manipulation on a hunch.

735
00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:09,677
The readers aren't interested
in sensationalism...

736
00:50:09,882 --> 00:50:12,726
...gossip, unsupported speculation!
Facts! Figures! Charts!

737
00:50:12,927 --> 00:50:14,895
Those are the tools
of the newspaper trade.

738
00:50:15,095 --> 00:50:18,190
It's as if you're trying to take the heat off
this Barnes numbskull.

739
00:50:18,390 --> 00:50:20,518
Oh, come on, chief. That's a low blow.

740
00:50:20,726 --> 00:50:23,354
Archer's not going to go gooey
for a corn-fed idiot.

741
00:50:23,562 --> 00:50:26,862
I was out of line. But you're out of line
with this stock-swindle story.

742
00:50:27,066 --> 00:50:29,285
Give me more of that
"moron from Sheboygan" stuff.

743
00:50:29,485 --> 00:50:30,862
- Muncie.
- Whatever.

744
00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:32,413
That's what sells newspapers!

745
00:50:32,613 --> 00:50:35,162
I've got a harder story,
"The Sap From The City Desk!"

746
00:50:35,366 --> 00:50:37,835
- Watch it!
- It's about a dim-witted editor who...

747
00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:40,037
Easy, tough guy. Heh-heh-heh.

748
00:50:42,748 --> 00:50:44,625
Does this suit look mannish to you?

749
00:50:44,833 --> 00:50:47,131
SMITTY:
Yeah, sure. Let's grab a highball.

750
00:50:47,962 --> 00:50:49,179
AMY:
Back off!

751
00:50:49,380 --> 00:50:51,098
Smoocher!

752
00:50:52,341 --> 00:50:55,345
Eh. What gives?

753
00:51:05,729 --> 00:51:07,697
[CHATTERING]

754
00:51:10,484 --> 00:51:13,909
A man of great managerial potency.

755
00:51:14,113 --> 00:51:16,457
My husband is also a president.

756
00:51:16,657 --> 00:51:19,957
Sears Braithwaite of Bullard.
Do you know him?

757
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:22,504
Your companion is an ode!

758
00:51:22,705 --> 00:51:25,128
A lyric! Are you betrothed?

759
00:51:25,332 --> 00:51:27,710
Amy works in my office.
She runs, uh...

760
00:51:27,918 --> 00:51:32,264
- Oh, the folly of youth.
- Those green remembered hills.

761
00:51:32,464 --> 00:51:35,889
That bourn
from which no traveler returns.

762
00:51:36,093 --> 00:51:38,221
I once ran the mimeograph
for Sidney.

763
00:51:38,429 --> 00:51:41,729
Though engaged at the time
to <i>quelqu'un d'autre</i>...

764
00:51:41,932 --> 00:51:45,653
...my water-cooler romance
became a mad passion.

765
00:51:45,853 --> 00:51:48,857
Uh. An <i>amour fou</i>.
A <i>folie à deux</i>.

766
00:51:49,064 --> 00:51:50,782
[LAUGHS]

767
00:51:50,983 --> 00:51:53,657
I'm brushing up on my French
with the most charming man...

768
00:51:53,861 --> 00:51:55,363
- ...Pierre of 5th Avenue.
- Oh!

769
00:51:55,571 --> 00:51:57,164
- Do you know him?
- Do you know him?

770
00:51:57,364 --> 00:52:02,336
Sidney and I are planning a trip
to Paris and points continental.

771
00:52:02,536 --> 00:52:03,879
[WOMEN LAUGHING]

772
00:52:05,497 --> 00:52:06,498
- Oh.
- Aren't we, dear?

773
00:52:07,541 --> 00:52:12,672
For sure. I would like to borrow Norville
for a while, if you don't mind, dear.

774
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:15,633
Oh, well, uh, frankly, I...

775
00:52:15,841 --> 00:52:17,684
You have a very charming wife,
Mr... Sid.

776
00:52:17,885 --> 00:52:19,512
So they tell me.

777
00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:23,224
Norville, let me shepherd you
through some of the introductions here.

778
00:52:23,432 --> 00:52:25,526
Try not to talk too much.

779
00:52:25,726 --> 00:52:28,195
Some of our biggest stockholders are...

780
00:52:28,395 --> 00:52:30,147
Scratch that. Say whatever you like.

781
00:52:30,356 --> 00:52:32,654
Shake hands here
with Sears Braithwaite of Bullard.

782
00:52:32,858 --> 00:52:35,156
- Sir.
- Glad to know you, Barnes.

783
00:52:35,361 --> 00:52:37,034
MUSSBURGER:
And this is Zebulon Cardozo...

784
00:52:37,237 --> 00:52:40,241
...one of Hudsucker's largest
and most loyal stockholders.

785
00:52:40,449 --> 00:52:42,543
What's this I hear
about you being an imbecile?

786
00:52:42,743 --> 00:52:44,541
What's ailing you, boy?

787
00:52:44,745 --> 00:52:47,749
Last week, my stock
was worth twice what it is now.

788
00:52:47,956 --> 00:52:50,675
I'm getting out of the whole
kit and caboodle of it, boy...

789
00:52:50,876 --> 00:52:53,254
...unless I see a
vast improvement.

790
00:52:53,462 --> 00:52:56,215
What you've got here, son,
is a range war!

791
00:52:56,423 --> 00:53:00,178
You're gonna have to circle our wagons
or I'm gonna get out of your wagon train.

792
00:53:00,386 --> 00:53:01,558
[CHUCKLES]

793
00:53:01,762 --> 00:53:02,888
No need for concern, sir.

794
00:53:03,097 --> 00:53:05,191
It's only natural in a period
of transition...

795
00:53:05,391 --> 00:53:07,189
...for the more timid elements
to run.

796
00:53:07,393 --> 00:53:10,192
Yellow? I'll show you yellow, boy!

797
00:53:10,396 --> 00:53:13,900
Zebulon, you mind now and quit acting
like such an old grizzly.

798
00:53:14,108 --> 00:53:16,577
MUSSBURGER:
Step lively here, Norville.

799
00:53:16,777 --> 00:53:19,747
I'm sorry, Sid, uh, I thought maybe
if I showed him the long view...

800
00:53:19,947 --> 00:53:22,826
And this is Thorstenson Finlandson...

801
00:53:23,033 --> 00:53:25,957
...who heads a radical splinter group
of disgruntled investors.

802
00:53:26,161 --> 00:53:27,834
Ah. Pleased to meet you,
Mr. Finlandson.

803
00:53:28,038 --> 00:53:30,712
It might interest you to know I studied
Finnish in high school.

804
00:53:30,916 --> 00:53:32,884
Let see,
I hope I'm not too rusty. Um...

805
00:53:34,086 --> 00:53:36,555
[SPEAKS IN FINNISH]

806
00:53:36,755 --> 00:53:38,223
[WOMAN SCREAMS]

807
00:53:40,884 --> 00:53:41,931
Ladies and gentlemen...

808
00:53:42,136 --> 00:53:44,355
...distinguished members
of the Hudsucker board...

809
00:53:44,555 --> 00:53:48,605
...I give you the Rajah of Romance,
the Ministereo of Moonlight...

810
00:53:48,809 --> 00:53:51,107
...the incredible,
the unforgettable...

811
00:53:51,311 --> 00:53:55,191
...Mr. Vic Tenetta!

812
00:53:55,482 --> 00:53:57,826
[CROWD APPLAUDING]

813
00:53:58,110 --> 00:54:00,579
[CHORUS HUMMING]

814
00:54:00,863 --> 00:54:04,117
Rajah, I like that.

815
00:54:04,324 --> 00:54:09,080
[SINGING]
<i>Take one fresh and tender kiss</i>

816
00:54:09,288 --> 00:54:11,131
[GASPS]

817
00:54:11,331 --> 00:54:17,304
<i>Add one stolen night of bliss</i>

818
00:54:18,922 --> 00:54:25,521
<i>One girl one boy</i>
<i>Some grief some joy</i>

819
00:54:25,721 --> 00:54:31,023
<i>Memories are made of this</i>

820
00:54:32,853 --> 00:54:34,480
<i>Don't</i>

821
00:54:40,527 --> 00:54:41,494
Norville?

822
00:54:45,657 --> 00:54:47,250
What happened?

823
00:54:47,451 --> 00:54:53,299
Oh, nothing. Just the more timid investors
are no longer running for cover.

824
00:54:53,499 --> 00:54:56,252
- Let me look.
- Sid found me the ice pack.

825
00:54:56,460 --> 00:54:58,963
Well, let me hold it
or you'll have a real shiner.

826
00:54:59,171 --> 00:55:00,388
Oh, thanks.

827
00:55:00,589 --> 00:55:03,684
I guess people are pretty hot
over this imbecile story.

828
00:55:03,884 --> 00:55:05,477
I'm sorry.

829
00:55:05,677 --> 00:55:06,974
Oh, it's not your fault, Amy.

830
00:55:07,179 --> 00:55:09,602
You're the one person
standing by me through this.

831
00:55:09,807 --> 00:55:13,437
Norville, there's something
I have to tell you.

832
00:55:13,644 --> 00:55:17,774
You see, I'm not really a secretary.

833
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:20,738
- I know that, Amy.
- You do?

834
00:55:20,943 --> 00:55:24,038
I understand you're not very skilled yet
in the secretarial arts...

835
00:55:24,238 --> 00:55:27,208
...but I'll tell you a secret,
I'm not that skilled as president.

836
00:55:27,407 --> 00:55:31,628
- I know I put up a big front, but, uh...
- I believe in you, Norville.

837
00:55:32,454 --> 00:55:36,550
At least, I believe in your intentions.

838
00:55:36,750 --> 00:55:40,596
Oh, I don't blame them, really.
I suppose I have made a mess of things.

839
00:55:40,796 --> 00:55:42,890
Those folks have to protect
their investment.

840
00:55:43,090 --> 00:55:44,717
Most of them are very nice people.

841
00:55:44,925 --> 00:55:48,179
Listen, Norville, you can't trust people here
like you did in Muncie.

842
00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:50,230
Certain people are...

843
00:55:50,430 --> 00:55:54,230
See, did you ever go to the top of Larson's
feed tower and look out over the town?

844
00:55:54,434 --> 00:55:56,903
- What?
- On Farm Route 17?

845
00:55:57,104 --> 00:55:59,653
Oh, yes, in Muncie.

846
00:56:00,774 --> 00:56:06,452
- No, Vidalia. Farm Route 17.
- Oh, yes, 17, yes.

847
00:56:06,655 --> 00:56:08,874
I... Well, no, no. I never really.

848
00:56:09,074 --> 00:56:10,246
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

849
00:56:10,450 --> 00:56:14,296
The guys from the Varsity Squad
would bring their dates up there to...

850
00:56:15,289 --> 00:56:17,007
...hold hands.

851
00:56:17,207 --> 00:56:20,757
Of course, I never made Varsity.

852
00:56:22,462 --> 00:56:24,760
There's a place I go now.

853
00:56:24,965 --> 00:56:27,889
Cutest little place near my apartment
in Greenwich Village.

854
00:56:28,093 --> 00:56:31,643
It's called Ann's 440. It's a beatnik bar.

855
00:56:31,847 --> 00:56:33,440
- You don't say?
- Yes.

856
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:35,608
- A beatnik bar.
- You can get carrot juice...

857
00:56:35,809 --> 00:56:40,781
...or Italian coffee and the people there,
well, none of them quite fit in.

858
00:56:40,981 --> 00:56:41,948
You'd love it.

859
00:56:42,649 --> 00:56:44,196
Why don't you come there with me?

860
00:56:44,401 --> 00:56:47,780
There's a marathon poetry-reading
on New Year's Eve. I go every year.

861
00:56:47,988 --> 00:56:50,116
- It's marvelous.
- Every year?

862
00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:56,623
Well, this year, if it's good,
I plan to make it a tradition, heh.

863
00:56:56,830 --> 00:56:58,503
I, uh, heh...

864
00:56:58,707 --> 00:57:05,591
My, it certainly is beautiful.
The people look like ants.

865
00:57:06,089 --> 00:57:09,639
Well, the Hindus say,
and the beatniks also...

866
00:57:09,843 --> 00:57:12,972
...that in our next lives some of us
will come back as ants.

867
00:57:13,180 --> 00:57:15,774
Some will be butterflies,
others will be elephants...

868
00:57:15,974 --> 00:57:17,271
...or creatures of the sea.

869
00:57:17,476 --> 00:57:18,853
What a beautiful thought.

870
00:57:19,061 --> 00:57:22,656
Hey, what do you think you were
in a previous life, Amy?

871
00:57:22,856 --> 00:57:27,077
Oh, I don't know. Maybe I was just, uh...

872
00:57:27,277 --> 00:57:31,157
...a fast-talking career gal
who thought she was one of the boys.

873
00:57:31,365 --> 00:57:32,787
Oh, no, Amy.

874
00:57:32,991 --> 00:57:35,710
Pardon me for saying so,
but I find that very far-fetched.

875
00:57:35,911 --> 00:57:38,505
- No, I have to tell you...
- That person would come back...

876
00:57:38,705 --> 00:57:40,082
...as a wildebeest or a warthog.

877
00:57:40,290 --> 00:57:45,888
No, I find it more likely
that you were a gazelle...

878
00:57:46,088 --> 00:57:50,389
...with long, graceful legs,
gamboling through the underbrush.

879
00:57:50,592 --> 00:57:52,720
Perhaps we met once.

880
00:57:52,928 --> 00:57:56,603
A chance encounter in a forest glade.

881
00:57:57,557 --> 00:58:01,152
I must have been an antelope
or an ibex.

882
00:58:01,353 --> 00:58:05,483
The times we must've had foraging
together for sustenance...

883
00:58:05,691 --> 00:58:08,865
...snorfling water
from a mountain stream...

884
00:58:09,069 --> 00:58:13,666
...picking the grubs and burrs
from one another's coats.

885
00:58:15,242 --> 00:58:21,045
Or perhaps we simply touched horns
briefly and went our separate ways.

886
00:58:21,248 --> 00:58:25,003
Oh, I wish it were that simple,
Norville.

887
00:58:25,210 --> 00:58:30,091
I wish I was still a gazelle
and you were an antelope...

888
00:58:30,298 --> 00:58:32,676
...or an ibex.

889
00:58:34,052 --> 00:58:35,804
Well...

890
00:58:36,638 --> 00:58:39,232
...can I at least call you "deer?"

891
00:58:39,433 --> 00:58:42,403
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

892
00:58:42,602 --> 00:58:43,649
You're funny.

893
00:58:43,854 --> 00:58:47,108
Seriously, Amy, it's what
your beatnik friends call "karma."

894
00:58:47,315 --> 00:58:50,535
- Karma.
- The great circle of life, death and rebirth.

895
00:58:50,736 --> 00:58:55,242
Yes, I think I heard of that.
What goes around, comes around.

896
00:58:55,449 --> 00:58:59,249
That's it. A great wheel
that gives us all what we deserve.

897
00:58:59,995 --> 00:59:03,090
I gotta show Sid
and all the guys I deserve their confidence.

898
00:59:03,290 --> 00:59:05,713
Tomorrow's my big presentation
to the board.

899
00:59:05,917 --> 00:59:07,669
[MOANS]

900
00:59:08,253 --> 00:59:11,757
Kiss me, Amy! Kiss me once for luck.

901
00:59:12,883 --> 00:59:16,558
Sure, Norville, sure.

902
00:59:50,378 --> 00:59:52,176
Shh.

903
00:59:55,634 --> 00:59:57,227
NORVILLE:
You know, for kids!

904
00:59:57,427 --> 00:59:59,646
It has economy, simplicity,
low production cost...

905
00:59:59,846 --> 01:00:01,143
...potential for mass appeal.

906
01:00:01,348 --> 01:00:03,316
All that spells out great profitability.

907
01:00:03,517 --> 01:00:06,316
I had the boys down at RandD
throw together this prototype...

908
01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:08,522
...so our discussion
could have some focus...

909
01:00:08,730 --> 01:00:12,200
...and to give you gentleman a firsthand
look at how exciting this gizmo is.

910
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:15,654
It's fun, healthy, good exercise,
and the kids will just love it.

911
01:00:15,862 --> 01:00:18,832
We put a little sand inside
to make the experience more pleasant.

912
01:00:19,032 --> 01:00:22,332
But the great part is
we don't have to charge an arm and a leg.

913
01:00:25,038 --> 01:00:26,756
What if you tire before it's done?

914
01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:27,958
Does it have rules?

915
01:00:28,166 --> 01:00:30,134
MAN 1: Can more than one play?
MAN 2: It's a game?

916
01:00:30,335 --> 01:00:31,632
MAN 3: Is it a game?
ADDISON: Will it break?

917
01:00:31,837 --> 01:00:34,181
MAN 4: It better break eventually.
MAN 5: Is there an object?

918
01:00:34,381 --> 01:00:37,009
MAN 6: What if you tire before it's done?
MAN 7: Does it have batteries?

919
01:00:37,217 --> 01:00:39,470
MAN 8: Could we charge extra for them?
ADDISON: Is it safe for toddlers?

920
01:00:39,845 --> 01:00:41,313
MAN 2:
How do you know you're finished?

921
01:00:41,513 --> 01:00:42,514
MAN 5:
How does it stop?

922
01:00:42,722 --> 01:00:44,975
MAN 8: Is that a boy's model?
MAN 9: Can a parent assemble it?

923
01:00:45,183 --> 01:00:49,029
MAN 4: What if you tire before it's done?
MAN 7: Is there a larger model for the obese?

924
01:00:49,229 --> 01:00:51,448
What the hell is it?

925
01:00:51,648 --> 01:00:55,243
Well, it's a... It's a...

926
01:00:55,443 --> 01:00:56,444
It's a...

927
01:00:56,653 --> 01:00:57,700
MUSSBURGER:
Brilliant!

928
01:00:59,614 --> 01:01:01,207
Genius.

929
01:01:01,867 --> 01:01:05,371
It's exactly what Hudsucker Industry
needs at this juncture.

930
01:01:05,579 --> 01:01:06,705
Sure, sure.

931
01:01:06,913 --> 01:01:11,919
Even a blind man can tell you there'll be
an enormous demand for this, uh...

932
01:01:12,294 --> 01:01:13,921
This...

933
01:01:14,129 --> 01:01:15,221
Congratulations, kid.

934
01:01:15,422 --> 01:01:17,845
You've outdone yourself.
You've reinvented the wheel.

935
01:01:18,049 --> 01:01:22,600
I'll recommend to the board that we
proceed immediately and that the, uh...

936
01:01:22,804 --> 01:01:24,852
And that the, uh...

937
01:01:25,682 --> 01:01:28,561
...dingus be mass-produced
with all deliberate speed.

938
01:01:28,768 --> 01:01:30,862
Although, you realize...

939
01:01:31,062 --> 01:01:33,064
...of course...

940
01:01:35,567 --> 01:01:37,240
...as president...

941
01:01:37,444 --> 01:01:40,197
...the ultimate decision is yours.

942
01:01:40,405 --> 01:01:42,499
Oh. I'm for it.

943
01:01:46,536 --> 01:01:48,914
[BELL RINGING]

944
01:02:29,287 --> 01:02:31,790
MAN 1:
We'll call it the Flying Doughnut!

945
01:02:31,998 --> 01:02:32,965
MAN 2:
The Dancing Dingus!

946
01:02:33,166 --> 01:02:34,463
MAN 1:
The Belly-Go-Round.

947
01:02:34,668 --> 01:02:35,635
MAN 2:
The Swingerina!

948
01:02:35,835 --> 01:02:39,135
MAN 1: The Wacky Circumference!
MAN 2: Uncle Midriff!

949
01:03:10,078 --> 01:03:11,751
MAN 1: We need something short!
MAN 2: Sharp!

950
01:03:11,955 --> 01:03:13,502
MAN 1: Snappy!
MAN 2: With a little jazz!

951
01:03:13,707 --> 01:03:14,833
MAN 1:
The Shazzammeter!

952
01:03:15,041 --> 01:03:16,042
MAN 2:
The Hipster!

953
01:03:16,251 --> 01:03:17,594
MAN 1:
The Daddy-O!

954
01:03:20,839 --> 01:03:22,682
[BELL RINGING]

955
01:03:58,918 --> 01:04:00,636
MAN 1: The Hoopsucker.
MAN 2: The Hudswinger.

956
01:04:00,837 --> 01:04:04,216
MAN 1: The Hoopsucker!
MAN 2: The Hudswinger!

957
01:04:25,445 --> 01:04:28,073
MAN 1: The Hoopsucker!
MAN 2: The Hudswinger!

958
01:04:28,281 --> 01:04:30,079
MAN 1: The Hoopsucker!
MAN 2: The Hudswinger!

959
01:04:30,283 --> 01:04:33,787
MAN 3: Fellas!
MAN 2: You got something?

960
01:04:33,995 --> 01:04:35,087
MAN 1:
You got something?

961
01:04:35,288 --> 01:04:38,258
MAN 3:
Fella, I got something!

962
01:04:49,969 --> 01:04:51,471
[WHISTLES]

963
01:04:52,013 --> 01:04:53,014
Ladies.

964
01:06:19,726 --> 01:06:21,319
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

965
01:06:21,519 --> 01:06:23,487
[ALL CHEERING]

966
01:07:15,156 --> 01:07:17,124
[ALL CHEERING]

967
01:07:25,583 --> 01:07:27,301
Wow.

968
01:07:41,975 --> 01:07:43,773
Norville!

969
01:07:50,191 --> 01:07:54,617
NEWSCASTER [OVER TV]:
<i>Rockwell News presents,</i> Tidbits of Time.

970
01:07:54,821 --> 01:07:57,620
<i>World news in pictures,</i>
<i>we kid you not.</i>

971
01:07:57,824 --> 01:08:01,454
<i>As Old Man 1958</i>
<i>hobbles towards his finish...</i>

972
01:08:01,661 --> 01:08:04,130
<i>...Barnes is the name</i>
<i>on every American lip.</i>

973
01:08:04,330 --> 01:08:07,675
<i>Norville Barnes, young president</i>
<i>of Hudsucker Industries...</i>

974
01:08:07,875 --> 01:08:11,755
<i>...a boy bred in the heartland,</i>
<i>but now the toast of New York.</i>

975
01:08:11,963 --> 01:08:15,308
<i>Barnes is the brainy inventor</i>
<i>of America's craziest craze:</i>

976
01:08:15,508 --> 01:08:16,851
<i>The Hula-Hoop!</i>

977
01:08:17,051 --> 01:08:20,476
<i>Reaping huge profits for his company</i>
<i>and winning the hearts...</i>

978
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:23,775
<i>...and hips of every youngster</i>
<i>in America!</i>

979
01:08:23,975 --> 01:08:26,569
<i>Woo-ho. Did I say youngster?</i>

980
01:08:26,769 --> 01:08:30,069
<i>Here's Mom taking a break</i>
<i>from her household chores...</i>

981
01:08:30,273 --> 01:08:33,823
<i>...and even Dad is swinging</i>
<i>into the act!</i>

982
01:08:34,694 --> 01:08:36,492
<i>Cards, letters, congratulations...</i>

983
01:08:36,696 --> 01:08:39,666
<i>...come pouring</i>
<i>in from Kankakee to Petaluma...</i>

984
01:08:39,866 --> 01:08:42,961
<i>...including one very special</i>
<i>long-distance call.</i>

985
01:08:43,161 --> 01:08:45,880
He's on! He's on the line!

986
01:08:46,039 --> 01:08:48,292
[ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

987
01:08:51,544 --> 01:08:52,670
- Hello?
EISENHOWER: <i>Hello, Norville.</i>

988
01:08:52,879 --> 01:08:54,722
<i>- This is the President.</i>
- Oh, my God, sir.

989
01:08:54,922 --> 01:08:57,846
<i>I just wanted to congratulate you.</i>
<i>I'm very proud of you.</i>

990
01:08:58,051 --> 01:09:01,271
- Oh, my God, sir.
<i>- Mrs. Eisenhower is very proud of you.</i>

991
01:09:01,471 --> 01:09:04,441
<i>The American people</i>
<i>are very proud of you.</i>

992
01:09:05,016 --> 01:09:06,939
[ALL CHATTERING]

993
01:09:09,937 --> 01:09:14,113
REPORTER: Mr. Barnes, how'd you come
up with the idea for the Hula-Hoop?

994
01:09:14,317 --> 01:09:16,035
It was no great idea, really.

995
01:09:16,235 --> 01:09:18,738
A thing like this takes a whole company
to put together.

996
01:09:18,946 --> 01:09:20,539
I'm grateful for the opportunity.

997
01:09:20,740 --> 01:09:23,459
Did you have any idea
there'd be such a huge response?

998
01:09:23,660 --> 01:09:26,914
Frankly, I don't think anybody
expected this much hoopla.

999
01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:28,332
[ALL LAUGH]

1000
01:09:28,539 --> 01:09:31,964
"Hoopla on the Hula-Hoop."
Can we quote you on that, Mr. Barnes?

1001
01:09:32,168 --> 01:09:33,215
Sure, I guess.

1002
01:09:33,419 --> 01:09:36,639
Mr. Barnes, will you give yourself a nice,
fat raise?

1003
01:09:36,839 --> 01:09:37,840
[ALL CHUCKLE]

1004
01:09:38,049 --> 01:09:39,517
NORVILLE:
Come on, you guys.

1005
01:09:46,224 --> 01:09:49,398
ANNOUNCER 1: <i>What scientific principle</i>
<i>explains the mind-bending motion...</i>

1006
01:09:49,602 --> 01:09:51,400
<i>...of this whipping wheel of wonder?</i>

1007
01:09:51,604 --> 01:09:53,606
The dingus is quite simple, really.

1008
01:09:53,815 --> 01:09:55,533
It operates on the same principles...

1009
01:09:55,733 --> 01:09:58,031
...that keep the Earth spinning
around the sun...

1010
01:09:58,236 --> 01:10:00,830
...and that keeps you
from flying off the Earth...

1011
01:10:01,030 --> 01:10:02,703
...into the cold reaches of space...

1012
01:10:02,907 --> 01:10:05,205
...where you would die
like a miserable swine.

1013
01:10:05,410 --> 01:10:07,788
Yes, the principle is the same...

1014
01:10:07,995 --> 01:10:12,796
...except for the piece of grit
they put in to make the experience...

1015
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:14,377
...more pleasant.

1016
01:10:14,585 --> 01:10:16,883
ANNOUNCER 2:
<i>Yes, it's Hula-Hula everywhere!</i>

1017
01:10:17,088 --> 01:10:19,591
<i>From the parties of the Park Avenue</i>
<i>smart set...</i>

1018
01:10:23,261 --> 01:10:26,856
<i>...to sweethearts who want to be married</i>
<i>in the swing of things.</i>

1019
01:10:29,767 --> 01:10:32,145
Mr. Barnes, did the board
consider you an idea man...

1020
01:10:32,353 --> 01:10:34,481
...when they promoted you
from the mailroom?

1021
01:10:34,689 --> 01:10:38,284
I guess so, I don't think they promoted me
because they thought I was a schmo.

1022
01:10:38,484 --> 01:10:41,237
Mr. Barnes, what's the next big idea
for you and Hudsucker?

1023
01:10:41,446 --> 01:10:42,447
NORVILLE:
Jesus, I don't know.

1024
01:10:42,655 --> 01:10:45,033
An idea like this sweet baby
doesn't just come overnight.

1025
01:10:45,241 --> 01:10:49,166
Although, I'll tell you one thing,
I certainly didn't expect all this hoopla.

1026
01:10:49,370 --> 01:10:50,337
[CHUCKLES]

1027
01:10:50,538 --> 01:10:51,505
You can quote me on that.

1028
01:10:58,963 --> 01:11:01,807
REPORTER: <i>Rumpus Magazine</i>
has called you the most eligible bachelor.

1029
01:11:02,008 --> 01:11:04,978
And society pages have been linking you
with fashion model Za-Za.

1030
01:11:05,178 --> 01:11:07,647
- You care to comment?
- There's no truth to the rumors.

1031
01:11:07,847 --> 01:11:10,396
We're just dear friends.
Isn't that right, Za-Za?

1032
01:11:12,310 --> 01:11:13,903
[GROWLS]
Wow.

1033
01:11:14,103 --> 01:11:15,320
REPORTERS:
Ooh.

1034
01:11:16,189 --> 01:11:19,489
Whoa. How do you respond to the charges
that you're out of ideas?

1035
01:11:19,692 --> 01:11:21,319
Has Norville Barnes run dry?

1036
01:11:21,527 --> 01:11:25,373
Not at all. Just this week I came up
with several new sweet ideas.

1037
01:11:25,573 --> 01:11:30,079
A larger model Hula-Hoop for the portly,
a battery option for the lazy or spastic.

1038
01:11:30,286 --> 01:11:32,835
A model with extra sand
for the hard-of-hearing.

1039
01:11:33,039 --> 01:11:34,256
I'm earning my keep.

1040
01:11:34,457 --> 01:11:36,801
Speaking of that,
do you expect to get a raise?

1041
01:11:37,001 --> 01:11:41,347
By anyone's account, I single-handedly
have saved Hudsucker Industries.

1042
01:11:41,547 --> 01:11:43,515
Our stock is worth more now than ever.

1043
01:11:43,716 --> 01:11:46,435
Yes, I expect to be compensated for that.

1044
01:12:00,233 --> 01:12:02,406
[SOBBING]

1045
01:12:05,947 --> 01:12:10,168
- Pull yourself together, man.
- Nobody told me!

1046
01:12:10,368 --> 01:12:12,996
You sold all our stock?

1047
01:12:13,204 --> 01:12:14,421
We dumped the whole load.

1048
01:12:14,622 --> 01:12:17,592
I had 20,000 shares!

1049
01:12:17,792 --> 01:12:19,510
I'd be a millionaire now.

1050
01:12:19,710 --> 01:12:22,213
MUSSBURGER:
Sure. We'd all be millionaires.

1051
01:12:22,421 --> 01:12:24,048
There's no point in looking back.

1052
01:12:25,341 --> 01:12:28,891
At the time, Stillson thought dumping
our position would panic the market...

1053
01:12:29,095 --> 01:12:31,314
...further depress the stock.

1054
01:12:31,514 --> 01:12:35,064
Then we could buy it back and more,
of course, once it got cheap.

1055
01:12:35,268 --> 01:12:39,114
Cheap? It's never been more valuable!

1056
01:12:40,273 --> 01:12:43,777
And I'm ruined. Ruined!

1057
01:12:48,739 --> 01:12:49,740
Addison.

1058
01:12:50,491 --> 01:12:54,086
I'm getting off this merry-go-round!

1059
01:12:54,287 --> 01:12:56,085
MAN:
Myron.

1060
01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:05,052
Plexiglas.

1061
01:13:05,631 --> 01:13:07,599
Had it installed last week.

1062
01:13:17,643 --> 01:13:18,644
Myron?

1063
01:13:18,853 --> 01:13:23,984
All right, so the kid caught a wave.

1064
01:13:24,692 --> 01:13:28,663
Right now, he and his dingus are on top.

1065
01:13:28,863 --> 01:13:31,036
Well, this too shall pass.

1066
01:13:31,490 --> 01:13:34,994
Myrtle J. Mussburger
did not raise her boy to go...

1067
01:13:35,202 --> 01:13:37,751
...knock-kneed
at the first sign of adversity.

1068
01:13:37,955 --> 01:13:41,550
I say, we made this chump,
we can break him!

1069
01:13:41,751 --> 01:13:45,301
I say, the higher he climbs,
the harder he drops!

1070
01:13:46,380 --> 01:13:48,098
I say, yes...

1071
01:13:48,299 --> 01:13:51,052
...the kid has a future...

1072
01:13:51,469 --> 01:13:53,142
...and in it...

1073
01:13:53,721 --> 01:13:56,099
...I see shame, dishonor...

1074
01:13:56,307 --> 01:13:59,402
...ignominy, disgrace.

1075
01:13:59,727 --> 01:14:01,855
Sure, sure.

1076
01:14:02,063 --> 01:14:05,658
The music plays, the wheel turns...

1077
01:14:05,858 --> 01:14:08,737
...and our spin ain't over yet.

1078
01:14:08,945 --> 01:14:10,913
[PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC]

1079
01:14:32,510 --> 01:14:34,308
For Pete's sakes, Norville!

1080
01:14:34,512 --> 01:14:36,685
NORVILLE:
Oh, Amy, where have you been hiding?

1081
01:14:36,889 --> 01:14:40,109
Do you know what those nincompoops
in the boardroom are doing?

1082
01:14:40,309 --> 01:14:42,152
I wouldn't call them nincompoops.

1083
01:14:42,353 --> 01:14:44,606
They're discharging 80 percent
of the workforce.

1084
01:14:44,814 --> 01:14:47,658
In New York City alone,
that means 1800 people out of work!

1085
01:14:47,858 --> 01:14:49,451
People with wives, children and families!

1086
01:14:49,652 --> 01:14:52,701
Oh, yes, we're pruning away
some of the dead wood.

1087
01:14:52,905 --> 01:14:56,250
- You mean you know about this?
- Know about it? Sure.

1088
01:14:56,450 --> 01:14:59,420
You think the board would do anything
without my authorization?

1089
01:14:59,620 --> 01:15:01,213
It was my idea from the start.

1090
01:15:01,414 --> 01:15:02,711
- Your...
- Sure, it was.

1091
01:15:02,915 --> 01:15:05,543
We're in a period of transition here.
Things have slowed.

1092
01:15:05,751 --> 01:15:08,254
You're being awfully kind to yourself,
Norville Barnes.

1093
01:15:08,462 --> 01:15:12,057
You've slowed down, sitting up
here like a sultan, not doing a lick of work.

1094
01:15:12,258 --> 01:15:14,727
You know ideas
are the lifeblood of industry...

1095
01:15:14,927 --> 01:15:17,225
...and you haven't come up with one since
the Hoop.

1096
01:15:17,430 --> 01:15:20,024
You've forgotten what made your ideas
exciting to you.

1097
01:15:20,224 --> 01:15:22,477
If it wasn't for the fame, wealth,
the adulation...

1098
01:15:22,685 --> 01:15:24,062
Would you get out of here?

1099
01:15:24,270 --> 01:15:27,399
You too, sisters, move it. Out, out, out!

1100
01:15:28,399 --> 01:15:31,403
I've been watching you, even though
you've been avoiding me.

1101
01:15:31,610 --> 01:15:32,577
AMY:
Shut up!

1102
01:15:32,778 --> 01:15:35,031
Don't think I haven't noticed
how you've changed.

1103
01:15:35,239 --> 01:15:36,912
I used to think you were a swell guy.

1104
01:15:37,116 --> 01:15:38,914
I thought you were an imbecile.

1105
01:15:39,118 --> 01:15:40,119
- Amy, I'm...
- Shut up!

1106
01:15:40,327 --> 01:15:43,627
Then I figured out you were a swell guy.
A little slow, but a swell guy.

1107
01:15:43,831 --> 01:15:47,176
Maybe you're not so slow, oh,
but you're not so swell either.

1108
01:15:47,376 --> 01:15:49,754
Looks like you're an imbecile,
after all. Shut up!

1109
01:15:49,962 --> 01:15:53,637
You haven't talked to me for a week
and now I'm going to say my piece.

1110
01:15:53,841 --> 01:15:56,594
Look, I've never been...

1111
01:15:56,802 --> 01:15:59,601
...dumped by a fella before,
and that hurts...

1112
01:15:59,805 --> 01:16:02,433
...but what really hurts is watching you
outrun your soul!

1113
01:16:02,641 --> 01:16:05,269
Chasing after money and ease
and the respect of a board...

1114
01:16:05,478 --> 01:16:07,856
...that wouldn't give you the time
of day if you...

1115
01:16:08,064 --> 01:16:10,613
- If you...
- Worked in a watch factory?

1116
01:16:10,816 --> 01:16:12,113
[CHUCKLES]

1117
01:16:12,318 --> 01:16:14,036
Shut up! Exactly.

1118
01:16:14,779 --> 01:16:18,454
Norville, don't you remember
how you used to feel about the Hoop?

1119
01:16:18,657 --> 01:16:22,412
You told me you'd gonna bring a smile
to the hips of everyone in America...

1120
01:16:22,620 --> 01:16:24,622
...regardless of race, creed or color.

1121
01:16:24,830 --> 01:16:28,130
Finally, there'd be a thingamajig
that would bring everyone together...

1122
01:16:28,334 --> 01:16:30,962
...even if it kept them apart spatially.

1123
01:16:31,170 --> 01:16:33,969
"You know, for kids."

1124
01:16:34,757 --> 01:16:38,307
Your words, Norville, not mine.

1125
01:16:39,178 --> 01:16:41,055
I used to love Norville Barnes.

1126
01:16:41,889 --> 01:16:44,142
Yes, love him...

1127
01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:48,025
...when he was just a swell kid
with hot ideas who was in over his head.

1128
01:16:48,229 --> 01:16:50,152
Now your head's too big to be in over!

1129
01:16:50,356 --> 01:16:52,825
MAN: Hey.
- Consider this my resignation.

1130
01:16:53,275 --> 01:16:54,276
[GROANS]

1131
01:16:54,485 --> 01:16:56,112
Effective immediately!

1132
01:16:57,696 --> 01:16:59,414
[DOOR SLAMS]

1133
01:18:15,941 --> 01:18:18,535
BUZZ:
<i>Buddy, buddy.</i>

1134
01:18:18,736 --> 01:18:20,909
Buddy.

1135
01:18:21,113 --> 01:18:23,912
Buddy. Buddy, say, buddy.

1136
01:18:25,618 --> 01:18:27,461
Buddy, say, buddy.

1137
01:18:27,995 --> 01:18:31,374
Uh... Huh?

1138
01:18:31,582 --> 01:18:33,255
Buddy. You busy?

1139
01:18:33,792 --> 01:18:34,793
Huh?

1140
01:18:35,002 --> 01:18:38,222
Looks like you nodded off there, buddy.
Say, you got a minute?

1141
01:18:40,633 --> 01:18:41,930
Buzz?

1142
01:18:42,134 --> 01:18:43,431
Is this important?

1143
01:18:43,636 --> 01:18:46,765
I think so. It's this little idea
I've been working on.

1144
01:18:46,972 --> 01:18:49,441
You see, I don't intend
to be an elevator boy forever.

1145
01:18:49,642 --> 01:18:51,110
Take a look at this sweet baby!

1146
01:18:51,310 --> 01:18:53,608
Get it? Incredibly convenient, isn't it?

1147
01:18:53,812 --> 01:18:55,280
You know, for drinks?

1148
01:18:55,481 --> 01:18:57,700
This is how it works.
It's got these ridges...

1149
01:18:57,900 --> 01:18:59,618
...on the side that give it
its whammy.

1150
01:18:59,818 --> 01:19:03,368
See, you don't have to drink like this
anymore. You can drink like this.

1151
01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:06,075
I call it the Buzz-Sucker.
You get it, buddy?

1152
01:19:06,283 --> 01:19:09,503
People are dying for this
and we won't have to charge an arm an...

1153
01:19:09,703 --> 01:19:11,125
Wait a minute.

1154
01:19:11,330 --> 01:19:13,128
Shh.

1155
01:19:26,262 --> 01:19:27,809
This...

1156
01:19:30,099 --> 01:19:31,271
...is worthless!

1157
01:19:31,475 --> 01:19:33,068
Huh? But, buddy...

1158
01:19:33,269 --> 01:19:35,271
This is the most idiotic thing
I've ever seen.

1159
01:19:35,479 --> 01:19:36,480
Yeah, but, buddy...

1160
01:19:36,689 --> 01:19:38,737
Nobody wants a harebrained product
like this.

1161
01:19:38,941 --> 01:19:42,115
You see, Buzz,
it lacks the creative spark...

1162
01:19:42,319 --> 01:19:45,573
...the unalloyed genius
that made something like, say...

1163
01:19:45,781 --> 01:19:47,909
...the, uh, Hula-Hoop such a success.

1164
01:19:48,117 --> 01:19:50,370
What do you mean barging in
and taking up my time?

1165
01:19:50,577 --> 01:19:52,124
I've got a company to run here!

1166
01:19:52,329 --> 01:19:53,546
[LAUGHS]

1167
01:19:53,747 --> 01:19:55,499
- But, buddy...
- I can't have every deadbeat...

1168
01:19:55,708 --> 01:19:58,712
...on the payroll pestering me
with their idiotic brainwaves.

1169
01:19:58,919 --> 01:20:00,341
I'm sorry, buddy.

1170
01:20:00,546 --> 01:20:02,924
- An example must be made.
- What do you mean, buddy?

1171
01:20:04,633 --> 01:20:06,351
You're fired.

1172
01:20:06,552 --> 01:20:08,646
Is that plain enough for you, buster?

1173
01:20:08,929 --> 01:20:10,931
[SOBBING]

1174
01:20:13,892 --> 01:20:15,439
Oh, buddy!

1175
01:20:16,186 --> 01:20:18,188
And don't call me "buddy."

1176
01:20:18,397 --> 01:20:22,868
Oh, please, sir!
This job running the elevator, it's all I got!

1177
01:20:23,068 --> 01:20:24,786
Uh, it's okay if you don't like it.

1178
01:20:24,987 --> 01:20:28,366
Just let me keep my job,
I'm praying to you.

1179
01:20:28,574 --> 01:20:32,920
Get out of my office! Get up! Up!

1180
01:20:33,120 --> 01:20:35,919
We don't crawl here
at Hudsucker Industries!

1181
01:20:37,416 --> 01:20:40,886
BUZZ:
I'm sorry, sir! I'm sorry!

1182
01:20:42,087 --> 01:20:44,055
[BUZZ CONTINUES SOBBING]

1183
01:20:54,350 --> 01:20:56,944
MUSSBURGER:
Thank you, Aloysius.

1184
01:21:00,898 --> 01:21:03,196
This is...

1185
01:21:04,026 --> 01:21:05,744
...useful.

1186
01:21:19,917 --> 01:21:21,419
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

1187
01:21:23,295 --> 01:21:28,017
Sorry I'm late, Sid.
That back nine at Riverdale's really murder.

1188
01:21:28,801 --> 01:21:31,930
MUSSBURGER:
It's a tough course. A real lollapalooza.

1189
01:21:33,138 --> 01:21:34,230
Sit down, son.

1190
01:21:37,643 --> 01:21:42,615
I thought the boardroom would be
a swell place to chat undisturbed.

1191
01:21:43,023 --> 01:21:47,153
Seems we've got some security
problems here at the Hud.

1192
01:21:47,361 --> 01:21:48,783
You don't say.

1193
01:21:48,987 --> 01:21:51,240
MUSSBURGER:
Ordinarily, I wouldn't bother you with it...

1194
01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:53,621
...but this is embarrassing.

1195
01:21:54,284 --> 01:21:56,412
It concerns you directly.

1196
01:21:56,620 --> 01:21:59,248
- How's that, Sid?
- It's not serious in itself.

1197
01:21:59,915 --> 01:22:03,089
Some elevator boy
that you'd fired came to me...

1198
01:22:03,293 --> 01:22:07,264
...claiming that you'd stolen the idea
for, um, the dingus.

1199
01:22:07,464 --> 01:22:09,432
You'd stolen it from him.

1200
01:22:09,633 --> 01:22:10,976
[MUMBLES]

1201
01:22:12,219 --> 01:22:14,722
- Maybe I was a little rough on him...
- Forget it.

1202
01:22:14,930 --> 01:22:18,230
You don't have to explain to me.
He's a little person. He's nothing.

1203
01:22:18,434 --> 01:22:19,811
Fire whoever you want.

1204
01:22:21,854 --> 01:22:25,984
No, the problem is who you hired.

1205
01:22:26,191 --> 01:22:30,037
That dame. A spy, as it turns out.

1206
01:22:30,237 --> 01:22:33,707
She must have gotten
to that elevator schnook...

1207
01:22:33,907 --> 01:22:37,036
...and her paper is going to town.

1208
01:22:37,244 --> 01:22:42,671
Sure, sure, we tried to kill the story,
but the <i>Argus</i> won't play ball.

1209
01:22:43,208 --> 01:22:46,007
The problem the board
will have is you hired this woman...

1210
01:22:46,211 --> 01:22:48,839
...and you kept her on...

1211
01:22:49,047 --> 01:22:51,846
...while she was making a chump
out of you.

1212
01:22:52,050 --> 01:22:54,599
Serious error in judgment.

1213
01:22:55,387 --> 01:22:57,606
Business is war, kid.

1214
01:22:57,806 --> 01:23:00,855
Take no prisoners,
give no second chances.

1215
01:23:04,313 --> 01:23:06,862
When the board meets
after New Year's...

1216
01:23:07,065 --> 01:23:08,988
...your position...

1217
01:23:11,361 --> 01:23:13,204
Looks like you're finished.

1218
01:23:13,697 --> 01:23:15,290
Washed up.

1219
01:23:19,411 --> 01:23:22,790
Oh, fourteenth hole at Riverdale...

1220
01:23:22,998 --> 01:23:26,969
...some use a mashie,
some use a niblick.

1221
01:23:27,169 --> 01:23:28,762
Niblick.

1222
01:23:28,962 --> 01:23:31,215
You get more loft, more backspin.

1223
01:23:36,428 --> 01:23:37,975
That dame...

1224
01:23:38,805 --> 01:23:41,900
...she got your throat pretty well slit.

1225
01:23:42,100 --> 01:23:44,068
When you're dead, you stay dead.

1226
01:23:45,270 --> 01:23:48,194
You don't believe me,
ask Waring Hudsucker.

1227
01:23:49,858 --> 01:23:54,238
Tough luck, kid.
You had a short climb up.

1228
01:23:54,655 --> 01:23:56,783
It's a long way down.

1229
01:24:07,417 --> 01:24:09,419
AMY: Stolen hoop idea from...
You can't print that!

1230
01:24:09,628 --> 01:24:10,629
AL:
We are printing it!

1231
01:24:10,837 --> 01:24:12,965
She hits the streets this evening.

1232
01:24:13,173 --> 01:24:15,050
And she's dynamite!

1233
01:24:15,259 --> 01:24:16,431
But, AI, it's the bunk!

1234
01:24:16,635 --> 01:24:19,184
Norville showed me his design
the, uh, day I met him.

1235
01:24:19,388 --> 01:24:22,232
Buzz couldn't have invented it.
Look at him, he's an imbecile.

1236
01:24:22,432 --> 01:24:24,855
Aren't you a broken record?
Gunderson did design it.

1237
01:24:25,060 --> 01:24:26,437
Apparently, he's a prodigy.

1238
01:24:26,645 --> 01:24:28,864
- Says who?
- You're not the only one with sources.

1239
01:24:29,064 --> 01:24:31,567
Smith has a source on the Hud board.
Very hush-hush.

1240
01:24:31,775 --> 01:24:34,119
Yeah. I bet his initials
are Sidney J. Mussburger.

1241
01:24:34,319 --> 01:24:37,198
You lost it, Amy.
You gone soft, by the looks of it.

1242
01:24:37,406 --> 01:24:39,079
Soft on the dummy from Dubuque.

1243
01:24:40,117 --> 01:24:41,369
- Muncie.
AL: Whatever!

1244
01:24:41,577 --> 01:24:45,377
This story's hot and you're no longer on
top of it. It's the scoop of the century!

1245
01:24:45,581 --> 01:24:47,675
The other papers
won't have this till tomorrow!

1246
01:24:47,874 --> 01:24:51,629
They'll be choking on our dust
come morning.

1247
01:24:51,837 --> 01:24:55,307
You're fools, both of you!
You're being used, don't you see, ugh?

1248
01:24:55,507 --> 01:24:58,681
Take a break. You worked hard
on this story. You broke it for us.

1249
01:24:58,885 --> 01:25:01,934
But it's passed you by
and Smith's taking up the slack.

1250
01:25:02,973 --> 01:25:06,318
Tsk, oh, you want slack,
I'll give you slack!

1251
01:25:06,518 --> 01:25:10,318
You're not putting me out to pasture!
I quit! Consider this my resignation!

1252
01:25:10,522 --> 01:25:11,899
[BANGS]

1253
01:25:12,107 --> 01:25:14,326
Effective immediately!

1254
01:25:16,570 --> 01:25:18,413
Soft.

1255
01:25:27,039 --> 01:25:28,791
BRONFENBRENNER [OVER SPEAKER]:
<i>So tell me...</i>

1256
01:25:28,999 --> 01:25:31,752
<i>...why do you feel</i>
<i>this woman betrayed you?</i>

1257
01:25:31,960 --> 01:25:35,339
<i>Tsk, oh, what's the difference?</i>

1258
01:25:35,547 --> 01:25:38,300
<i>The whole world,</i>
<i>it seems, is against you?</i>

1259
01:25:38,508 --> 01:25:39,634
<i>I don't know.</i>

1260
01:25:39,843 --> 01:25:41,686
Und <i>the elevator boy...</i>

1261
01:25:41,887 --> 01:25:45,061
<i>...Buzz, he too works against you?</i>

1262
01:25:45,265 --> 01:25:46,983
NORVILLE:
<i>Well, yeah.</i>

1263
01:25:47,184 --> 01:25:48,356
Classic.

1264
01:25:48,560 --> 01:25:51,780
Patient displayed listlessness,
apathy, gloomy indifference...

1265
01:25:51,980 --> 01:25:54,028
<i>...und</i> was blue <i>und</i> mopey.

1266
01:25:54,232 --> 01:25:57,452
When asked what the Rorschach stains
represented, patient replied:

1267
01:25:57,944 --> 01:26:02,666
"Nothing much. I don't know.
Just a blotch. Sure beats me."

1268
01:26:02,866 --> 01:26:06,461
Patient shows no ambition,
no get-up-and-go, no vim.

1269
01:26:06,662 --> 01:26:09,165
He is riding the grand loopen-ze-loop...

1270
01:26:09,373 --> 01:26:12,217
...that goes from the height
of delusional gaiety...

1271
01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:14,511
...to the trough of despair.

1272
01:26:14,711 --> 01:26:17,885
He is now near,
but not yet at his lowest point.

1273
01:26:18,090 --> 01:26:23,972
When he reaches bottom, he may erupt
<i>und</i> pose a danger to himself <i>und</i> others.

1274
01:26:24,179 --> 01:26:26,056
MUSSBURGER:
Diagnosis, Dr. Bronfenbrenner?

1275
01:26:26,264 --> 01:26:29,234
Patient is <i>eine</i> manic-depressive
paranoid, type B...

1276
01:26:29,434 --> 01:26:31,311
...with acute schizoid tendencies.

1277
01:26:31,520 --> 01:26:34,524
So patient is...?

1278
01:26:35,273 --> 01:26:37,696
Precisely, nuts!

1279
01:26:38,276 --> 01:26:39,323
Prescription?

1280
01:26:39,528 --> 01:26:44,500
Three things, commitment,
electroconvulsive therapy...

1281
01:26:44,700 --> 01:26:48,170
...maintenance in <i>eine</i> secure facility.

1282
01:26:48,829 --> 01:26:50,752
[ALL APPLAUDING]

1283
01:27:02,968 --> 01:27:05,767
MAN:
Yeah, he's a tall guy. A real mess.

1284
01:27:05,971 --> 01:27:10,351
Yeah, yeah, look, you better get down here.
He says he's a friend of yours.

1285
01:27:10,559 --> 01:27:14,280
He didn't say.
But, man, is he from Squaresville.

1286
01:27:16,440 --> 01:27:18,613
[NORVILLE TALKS INDISTINCTLY]

1287
01:27:18,817 --> 01:27:20,569
[BLOWS HORN]

1288
01:27:22,070 --> 01:27:23,617
NORVILLE:
I want a martini!

1289
01:27:23,822 --> 01:27:26,621
It's New Year's Eve. I deserve a martini.

1290
01:27:26,825 --> 01:27:31,126
- Daddy, it's like I've been telling you. You...
- I thought you served misfits here.

1291
01:27:31,329 --> 01:27:34,128
Yeah, daddy. That's a roger.
But we don't sell alcohol.

1292
01:27:34,332 --> 01:27:36,801
What kind of bar is it,
you can't get a martini?

1293
01:27:37,002 --> 01:27:40,472
It's a juice-and-coffee bar, man,
like I've been telling you.

1294
01:27:40,672 --> 01:27:45,724
- Right. So I want a martini.
- Argh.

1295
01:27:45,927 --> 01:27:49,306
I've had a martini in every bar
all the way down here, heh.

1296
01:27:49,514 --> 01:27:51,983
Martinis are for squares, man.

1297
01:27:53,435 --> 01:27:56,405
What'd you call me,
you beatnik son of a...?

1298
01:27:56,605 --> 01:27:57,606
AMY:
Norville.

1299
01:27:59,608 --> 01:28:00,780
What?

1300
01:28:00,984 --> 01:28:05,410
- Oh-ho, look who's here, Amy Archer...
- Oh, no.

1301
01:28:05,614 --> 01:28:07,787
...Prizeter Pule winner.

1302
01:28:07,991 --> 01:28:10,085
Looking for a nitwit to buy you lunch?

1303
01:28:10,285 --> 01:28:13,960
- Norville, I'm sorry.
- Bar fella, I'd like...

1304
01:28:14,164 --> 01:28:15,165
...a martini, please.

1305
01:28:15,373 --> 01:28:19,003
I tried to tell you so many times, I...

1306
01:28:19,211 --> 01:28:23,216
It's hard to admit
when you've been wrong.

1307
01:28:23,423 --> 01:28:25,050
If you could just...

1308
01:28:25,258 --> 01:28:29,889
...find it in your heart
to give me another chance.

1309
01:28:30,972 --> 01:28:31,973
Ha.

1310
01:28:32,182 --> 01:28:34,435
"You take no prisoners,
give no second chances."

1311
01:28:34,643 --> 01:28:38,022
Please, Norville!
Please give me one more chance!

1312
01:28:38,230 --> 01:28:41,655
And yourself too. We both deserve one.

1313
01:28:41,858 --> 01:28:43,201
Just give us a second chance.

1314
01:28:43,401 --> 01:28:45,369
Together we can fight this thing.

1315
01:28:45,570 --> 01:28:47,993
I know this last story was a lie
and we can prove it.

1316
01:28:48,198 --> 01:28:49,541
You got to release a statement.

1317
01:28:49,741 --> 01:28:53,245
- I can help you write it.
- Oh, what's the difference?

1318
01:28:53,453 --> 01:28:55,626
I'm all washed up.

1319
01:28:55,831 --> 01:28:59,881
Extinct. <i>Homo sapiens sapicus.</i>

1320
01:29:00,085 --> 01:29:01,052
[HICCUPPING]

1321
01:29:01,253 --> 01:29:05,679
Well, heh, that just about does it.

1322
01:29:05,882 --> 01:29:09,512
I've seen Norville Barnes,
the young man in a big hurry...

1323
01:29:09,719 --> 01:29:13,223
...and I've seen Norville Barnes,
the self-important heel.

1324
01:29:13,431 --> 01:29:16,560
But I've never seen Norville Barnes,
the quitter...

1325
01:29:17,269 --> 01:29:19,397
...and I don't like it.

1326
01:29:20,438 --> 01:29:22,406
Fight on.

1327
01:29:22,607 --> 01:29:26,362
Fight on, dear old Muncie.

1328
01:29:27,070 --> 01:29:31,541
Fight on. Hoist the gold and blue.

1329
01:29:31,741 --> 01:29:35,462
You'll be tattered, torn and hurting.

1330
01:29:35,662 --> 01:29:40,418
Once the Munce is done with you.

1331
01:29:41,626 --> 01:29:44,846
Go, Eagles.

1332
01:29:46,923 --> 01:29:49,392
You can't surrender, Norville.
Remember.

1333
01:29:50,760 --> 01:29:55,766
[SINGING] <i>Fight on, Fight on</i>
<i>Dear old Muncie</i>

1334
01:29:55,974 --> 01:29:56,975
[SOBBING]

1335
01:29:57,183 --> 01:30:02,360
<i>Fight on</i>
<i>Hoist the gold and blue</i>

1336
01:30:03,315 --> 01:30:07,115
<i>You'll be tattered, torn and hurting</i>

1337
01:30:08,945 --> 01:30:12,916
You lied to me. How could you lie to me?

1338
01:30:14,743 --> 01:30:18,418
You, a Muncie girl.

1339
01:30:19,706 --> 01:30:22,425
But, Norville, I...

1340
01:30:22,626 --> 01:30:28,975
When you're dead, you stay dead.
Just ask Waring Hudsucker!

1341
01:30:30,216 --> 01:30:32,469
Oh, Norville.

1342
01:30:32,677 --> 01:30:34,725
[SOBS]

1343
01:30:35,263 --> 01:30:38,642
NEWSBOY:
Extra, extra! New Year's Eve edition!

1344
01:30:38,850 --> 01:30:41,228
Barnes' brain caught red-handed!

1345
01:30:41,436 --> 01:30:43,029
Ideas ersatz!

1346
01:30:43,229 --> 01:30:46,153
Man from Muncie a moron after all!

1347
01:30:46,358 --> 01:30:48,452
Read all about it!

1348
01:30:48,652 --> 01:30:52,998
New Year's Eve edition!
Man from Muncie a moron after all!

1349
01:30:53,198 --> 01:30:55,166
You're not so slow,
but you're not so swell.

1350
01:30:55,367 --> 01:30:57,495
And it looks like
you're an imbecile after all.

1351
01:30:57,702 --> 01:31:00,831
Sure, sure.
But your friends called you dope?

1352
01:31:01,039 --> 01:31:03,212
Dipstick? Lamebrain? Schmo?

1353
01:31:03,416 --> 01:31:06,420
Please, buddy, running the elevator,
it's all I got.

1354
01:31:06,628 --> 01:31:08,596
EISENHOWER:
<i>Norville, you let me down.</i>

1355
01:31:08,797 --> 01:31:13,098
<i>You let Mrs. Eisenhower down.</i>
<i>You let the American people down.</i>

1356
01:31:13,301 --> 01:31:15,679
- And when you're dead, you stay dead.
AMY: Ha-ha-ha.

1357
01:31:15,887 --> 01:31:19,187
You stay dead, you stay dead.
Sure, sure.

1358
01:31:19,391 --> 01:31:22,440
The kid is screwy, it's official.

1359
01:31:23,061 --> 01:31:26,190
The barred-window boys
are out looking for him now.

1360
01:31:26,398 --> 01:31:28,366
We'll see how Wall Street
likes the news...

1361
01:31:28,566 --> 01:31:31,820
...that the president of Hudsucker
is headed for the booby hatch.

1362
01:31:32,028 --> 01:31:36,329
Heh, when Doc Bronfenbrenner
gets through with him...

1363
01:31:36,533 --> 01:31:38,535
...he'll need diapers and a dribble cup.

1364
01:31:38,743 --> 01:31:39,744
[ALL CHUCKLE]

1365
01:31:39,953 --> 01:31:42,376
Well, if that's all...

1366
01:31:42,580 --> 01:31:45,459
ALL:
Long live the Hud!

1367
01:31:47,627 --> 01:31:49,595
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE]

1368
01:31:53,425 --> 01:31:54,392
[ALL GRUNT]

1369
01:31:54,592 --> 01:31:57,971
Watch where you're... Hiya, buddy!

1370
01:31:58,179 --> 01:32:00,307
- Buzz?
- Out on the town, huh? Guess what?

1371
01:32:00,515 --> 01:32:05,487
Sid says I can have my old job back.
I deserve a second chance, he says.

1372
01:32:05,687 --> 01:32:08,987
- Huh? He did?
- Turns out he's not such a bad guy after all.

1373
01:32:09,190 --> 01:32:10,863
- Ha, ha.
- Buzz, that's wonderful.

1374
01:32:11,067 --> 01:32:14,913
He told me you stole that swell hoop idea
from me. What gives?

1375
01:32:15,113 --> 01:32:18,959
- Buzz, I would never...
- Gee, that was a swell idea.

1376
01:32:19,159 --> 01:32:21,287
And Sid says you stoled it!

1377
01:32:21,494 --> 01:32:23,872
What are you waiting on, Clarence?
Pop him one.

1378
01:32:24,080 --> 01:32:25,753
But Buzz...

1379
01:32:26,499 --> 01:32:27,500
[NORVILLE GROANS]

1380
01:32:28,960 --> 01:32:30,212
[CROWD MURMURING]

1381
01:32:34,758 --> 01:32:36,010
He's that big-shot faker!

1382
01:32:36,217 --> 01:32:40,097
- That Wall Street fraud guy.
- Nuttier than a fruitcake.

1383
01:32:41,431 --> 01:32:43,183
WOMAN:
Somebody call the cops!

1384
01:32:44,059 --> 01:32:45,527
[ALL GASP]

1385
01:32:50,648 --> 01:32:52,946
[CROWD SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

1386
01:33:12,045 --> 01:33:14,798
MAN:
Ring out the old, ring in the new.

1387
01:33:15,006 --> 01:33:17,976
Ring out the old, ring in the new.

1388
01:33:44,494 --> 01:33:46,246
[PANTING]

1389
01:33:57,882 --> 01:33:59,179
[WIND WHISTLING]

1390
01:34:25,785 --> 01:34:28,038
[TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

1391
01:34:47,932 --> 01:34:49,149
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

1392
01:36:16,187 --> 01:36:17,860
[GASPS]

1393
01:36:18,439 --> 01:36:19,440
[DOOR OPENS]

1394
01:36:20,692 --> 01:36:21,659
[DOOR CLOSES]

1395
01:36:23,361 --> 01:36:24,829
[BREATHING HEAVILY]

1396
01:36:40,545 --> 01:36:42,843
Hey. Hey! Aah!

1397
01:36:45,049 --> 01:36:47,222
[CLOCK CHIMING]

1398
01:36:47,427 --> 01:36:48,895
Hey.

1399
01:36:58,396 --> 01:36:59,693
Hey.

1400
01:37:00,356 --> 01:37:01,528
[GRUNTS]

1401
01:37:03,234 --> 01:37:04,577
[SCREAMING]

1402
01:37:07,864 --> 01:37:09,207
[LAUGHS]

1403
01:37:10,992 --> 01:37:12,915
[SCREAMING]

1404
01:37:43,941 --> 01:37:45,909
[CLANKING]

1405
01:37:59,332 --> 01:38:01,926
Strictly speaking,
I'm never supposed to do this...

1406
01:38:02,126 --> 01:38:04,345
...but have you got a better idea?

1407
01:38:22,230 --> 01:38:25,450
MAN [SINGING]: <i>She'll be driving</i>
<i>Six white horses when she comes</i>

1408
01:38:25,650 --> 01:38:27,197
<i>She'll be driving six white horses</i>

1409
01:38:33,658 --> 01:38:36,332
<i>We'll all have chicken and dumplings</i>
<i>When she comes</i>

1410
01:38:36,661 --> 01:38:39,665
<i>We'll all have chicken and dumplings</i>
<i>When she comes</i>

1411
01:38:40,164 --> 01:38:42,917
<i>We'll all have chicken and dumplings</i>
<i>Yes, we'll all have chicken and dumplings</i>

1412
01:38:43,126 --> 01:38:45,845
<i>We'll all have chicken and dumplings</i>
<i>When she comes</i>

1413
01:38:46,045 --> 01:38:49,174
<i>She'll be coming round the mountain</i>
<i>When she comes</i>

1414
01:38:49,382 --> 01:38:52,477
<i>She'll be coming round the mountain</i>
<i>When she comes</i>

1415
01:38:52,677 --> 01:38:56,523
<i>She'll be coming round the mountain</i>
<i>She'll be coming round the mountain</i>

1416
01:38:56,722 --> 01:39:00,147
<i>She'll be coming round the mountain</i>
<i>When she comes</i>

1417
01:39:00,351 --> 01:39:03,275
<i>She'll be coming round the mountain</i>
<i>I said coming round the mountain</i>

1418
01:39:03,479 --> 01:39:08,906
<i>Oh, yeah, coming round the mountain</i>
<i>When she comes</i>

1419
01:39:12,155 --> 01:39:15,159
Love that tune. How you doing, kid?

1420
01:39:15,366 --> 01:39:17,243
Mr. Hudsucker?

1421
01:39:18,077 --> 01:39:20,455
How do you like that thing?
They're all wearing them upstairs.

1422
01:39:20,663 --> 01:39:23,712
Tsk, it's a fad. Anyway...

1423
01:39:23,916 --> 01:39:27,170
...I see you've been having some, uh,
problems with the board.

1424
01:39:27,378 --> 01:39:29,847
I guess Sidney's, uh, putting
the screws to you, huh, Norman.

1425
01:39:30,047 --> 01:39:31,219
- Norville.
- Yeah, yeah.

1426
01:39:31,424 --> 01:39:33,301
Say what you like
about the man's ethics.

1427
01:39:33,509 --> 01:39:35,182
He's a balls-to-the-wall businessman.

1428
01:39:35,386 --> 01:39:38,265
Beat you any way he can.
Straight for the jugular. Effective.

1429
01:39:38,473 --> 01:39:39,690
Any particular reason...

1430
01:39:39,891 --> 01:39:41,814
- ...you didn't give him my blue letter?
- Oh.

1431
01:39:42,018 --> 01:39:45,568
Jesus, Norman, just a dying
man's last words and wishes, no big deal.

1432
01:39:45,771 --> 01:39:48,365
Mr. Hudsucker, I must've mislaid it...

1433
01:39:48,566 --> 01:39:51,615
It's in your apron pocket,
right where you left it.

1434
01:39:51,819 --> 01:39:52,866
Imbecile.

1435
01:39:53,070 --> 01:39:55,869
Failure to deliver a blue letter
is grounds for dismissal.

1436
01:39:56,073 --> 01:39:58,041
- Jeez, sir, I...
- Oh, it's New Year's.

1437
01:39:58,242 --> 01:40:00,540
I'm not gonna add to your woes.
I'm just saying.

1438
01:40:00,745 --> 01:40:03,544
Anyway, you wanna read it?
You might learn something.

1439
01:40:03,748 --> 01:40:06,376
Might keep you from jumping
out of any more windows.

1440
01:40:12,173 --> 01:40:15,803
"Blue letter from the desk
of Waring Hudsucker...

1441
01:40:16,010 --> 01:40:19,059
...to Sidney J. Mussburger,
regarding my demise.

1442
01:40:19,263 --> 01:40:21,231
Dear, Sid, by the time you read this...

1443
01:40:21,432 --> 01:40:24,231
...I will have joined the organization
upstairs...

1444
01:40:24,435 --> 01:40:27,735
...an exciting new beginning.
I will retain fond..."

1445
01:40:27,939 --> 01:40:30,988
- Memories.
- "Of the years you and I have spent..."

1446
01:40:31,192 --> 01:40:33,741
Yeah, yeah,
standard resignation boilerplate.

1447
01:40:33,945 --> 01:40:35,538
Go down to the second paragraph.

1448
01:40:41,619 --> 01:40:44,668
"You will no doubt be wondering
why I've decided to end my tenure...

1449
01:40:44,872 --> 01:40:46,795
...both at Hudsucker and here on Earth.

1450
01:40:46,999 --> 01:40:49,627
From the standpoint
of our balance sheet and financials...

1451
01:40:49,835 --> 01:40:51,428
...sure, sure, we're doing fine.

1452
01:40:51,629 --> 01:40:54,883
But in my personal life, Sidney,
I have made grave errors.

1453
01:40:55,091 --> 01:40:57,435
I have let my success become my identity.

1454
01:40:57,635 --> 01:40:59,683
I have foolishly played the great man...

1455
01:40:59,887 --> 01:41:03,562
...and watched my life
become more and more empty as a result.

1456
01:41:03,766 --> 01:41:08,522
My vanity drove away she
who could've saved me.

1457
01:41:08,729 --> 01:41:12,029
Oh, yes, I loved a woman once, Sid,
as you well know.

1458
01:41:12,233 --> 01:41:13,951
A beautiful, vibrant lady...

1459
01:41:14,151 --> 01:41:18,156
...and angel who, in her wisdom,
saw fit to choose you instead of I."

1460
01:41:18,364 --> 01:41:19,786
Mr. Hudsucker.

1461
01:41:20,324 --> 01:41:23,453
[SOBBING]

1462
01:41:25,621 --> 01:41:26,998
Skip this part.

1463
01:41:27,206 --> 01:41:28,628
[HUDSUCKER BLOWS NOSE]

1464
01:41:29,125 --> 01:41:31,594
Next page. Next page!

1465
01:41:40,052 --> 01:41:41,269
[WHISTLES]

1466
01:41:41,846 --> 01:41:44,565
"This brings me to our company, Sid,
and its future.

1467
01:41:44,765 --> 01:41:47,644
Our next president must have the liberty
I have had as owner...

1468
01:41:47,852 --> 01:41:50,776
- ...to experiment and even fall."
- Fail.

1469
01:41:50,980 --> 01:41:54,826
"Without fear of the whims
of the stockholders or an impatient board.

1470
01:41:55,026 --> 01:41:57,745
- The new president must be free to fall...
- Fail!

1471
01:41:57,945 --> 01:41:59,993
- ...and learn to fail...
- Fall!

1472
01:42:00,197 --> 01:42:03,542
...and rise again by applying
what he has learned.

1473
01:42:03,743 --> 01:42:07,839
Such is business. Such is life.

1474
01:42:08,205 --> 01:42:13,132
Accordingly, I hereby bequeath
all of my shares in Hudsucker Industry...

1475
01:42:13,336 --> 01:42:18,433
...to whomever you and the board
shall elect to succeed me as president.

1476
01:42:18,633 --> 01:42:20,351
I assume this will be you, Sidney.

1477
01:42:20,551 --> 01:42:25,523
If not, if the board should choose
someone else to be president then, then..."

1478
01:42:25,723 --> 01:42:26,724
Tough titty toenails!

1479
01:42:26,932 --> 01:42:28,400
[LAUGHING]

1480
01:42:29,560 --> 01:42:30,812
That'll show the bastard!

1481
01:42:31,020 --> 01:42:32,818
[LAUGHS]

1482
01:42:38,194 --> 01:42:39,867
[LAUGHS]

1483
01:42:40,071 --> 01:42:41,197
Okay, go ahead.

1484
01:42:41,405 --> 01:42:43,624
"Then I urge you to work
with the new president...

1485
01:42:43,824 --> 01:42:46,043
...and remind him
when he needs to be reminded...

1486
01:42:46,243 --> 01:42:48,541
...that failure should never lead
to despair.

1487
01:42:50,498 --> 01:42:53,377
Despair looks only to the past,
in business...

1488
01:42:53,834 --> 01:42:55,006
[GRUNTS]

1489
01:42:57,088 --> 01:42:58,385
...and in love."

1490
01:42:58,589 --> 01:43:01,388
The future is now.

1491
01:43:01,592 --> 01:43:02,969
NORVILLE:
<i>The future is now.</i>

1492
01:43:05,179 --> 01:43:07,147
"When our future president needs it...

1493
01:43:07,348 --> 01:43:11,649
<i>...Waring Hudsucker,</i>
<i>hereby bequeaths him...</i>

1494
01:43:11,852 --> 01:43:14,901
...his second chance."

1495
01:43:23,614 --> 01:43:24,740
[GROANING]

1496
01:43:29,286 --> 01:43:30,583
[ALOYSIUS SCREAMING]

1497
01:43:34,625 --> 01:43:36,753
- Ha-ha-ha.
NORVILLE: Aah!

1498
01:43:39,380 --> 01:43:41,178
[CLANKING]

1499
01:43:45,970 --> 01:43:48,598
Deliver that letter in the morning!

1500
01:43:54,019 --> 01:43:58,320
Ha, ha. Yoo-hoo! Yaa-haa!

1501
01:44:48,866 --> 01:44:53,997
MOSES:
<i>And so began 1959. The New Year.</i>

1502
01:44:54,205 --> 01:44:58,631
<i>When he learned that Norville owned</i>
<i>the company, Sidney was upset at first.</i>

1503
01:44:59,210 --> 01:45:01,884
<i>It's a good thing</i>
<i>Doc Bronfenbrenner was there...</i>

1504
01:45:02,087 --> 01:45:03,088
Sidney?

1505
01:45:03,297 --> 01:45:06,642
<i>...because he was able to keep</i>
<i>Sidney from harming his old self.</i>

1506
01:45:06,842 --> 01:45:10,767
<i>He prescribed a long rest in the sana...</i>
<i>In the sanator, uh...</i>

1507
01:45:10,971 --> 01:45:13,190
<i>In the booby hatch.</i>

1508
01:45:13,390 --> 01:45:16,018
<i>Now, Norville, heh...</i>

1509
01:45:16,227 --> 01:45:19,356
<i>...he went on and ruled</i>
<i>with wisdom and compassion...</i>

1510
01:45:19,563 --> 01:45:23,193
<i>...and started dreaming up</i>
<i>them exciting new ideas again.</i>

1511
01:45:23,400 --> 01:45:24,777
NORVILLE:
You know, for kids.

1512
01:45:24,985 --> 01:45:27,784
I had the boys down at RandD
throw together this prototype...

1513
01:45:27,988 --> 01:45:29,831
...so our discussion could have focus...

1514
01:45:30,032 --> 01:45:32,831
...and to give you gentlemen
of the board a firsthand look.

1515
01:45:38,123 --> 01:45:42,424
MOSES: <i>That's the story</i>
<i>of how Norville Barnes climbed way up...</i>

1516
01:45:42,628 --> 01:45:46,053
<i>...to the 44th floor</i>
<i>of the Hudsucker building...</i>

1517
01:45:46,257 --> 01:45:51,013
<i>...and then fell all the way down,</i>
<i>but didn't quite squish his self.</i>

1518
01:45:51,220 --> 01:45:55,521
<i>You know, they say there was a man</i>
<i>who jumped from the 45th floor.</i>

1519
01:45:55,724 --> 01:45:57,476
<i>But that's another story.</i>

1520
01:45:57,685 --> 01:46:00,905
[MOSES LAUGHING]

1521
01:50:40,926 --> 01:50:42,894
[English - US - SDH]