1 00:01:10,369 --> 00:01:15,270 Eric, I just came to say how sorry I am. How deeply, deeply sorry. 2 00:01:18,470 --> 00:01:22,950 Only those of us who've trod the rocky path of life and stared into the pothole 3 00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:25,670 of crisis can understand how you must be feeling. 4 00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:29,750 And if there's anything, 5 00:01:30,530 --> 00:01:35,930 anything at all I can do to help, just say the word. 6 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,100 Your sunny days are here again, my friend. 7 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:48,240 In my good fortune, I have happened upon the Tutankhamun's tomb of garden 8 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:49,320 equipment. Really? 9 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:52,420 Now, as someone who's been in gardens all his life, you will appreciate what 10 00:01:52,420 --> 00:01:53,238 I've got here. 11 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,420 This is a machine that actually makes people wolf -whistle in the street. 12 00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:00,540 I have seen motorbike couriers riding less powerful machines than these. 13 00:02:00,780 --> 00:02:05,260 Mr. Daly. Now, for a lawn maintenance unit like this, we would normally be 14 00:02:05,260 --> 00:02:06,380 asking seven. 15 00:02:06,580 --> 00:02:10,000 But bearing in mind the number involved, I'm happy to let them go for five. 16 00:02:12,140 --> 00:02:14,680 Are they hot, Mr. Daly? Certainly not. 17 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:16,320 Hot, my friend? 18 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:19,640 A little bit warm, perhaps, but you'd expect that with fire -damaged stock. 19 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:21,680 Oh, yes. I heard about that. 20 00:02:22,260 --> 00:02:25,500 Terrible. Terrible. Eric had had that garden for 15 years. 21 00:02:25,820 --> 00:02:27,620 One of the great ironies of life. 22 00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:31,720 Apparently, the fire started in the wiring for his new sprinkler system. 23 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,580 Gently, please. I heard that clunk. 24 00:02:48,860 --> 00:02:52,040 These are not a property of the hanging gardens of Neasden. Well, you sold them 25 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:53,900 already. The art of the entrepreneur, eh? 26 00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:55,220 I see an opportunity. 27 00:02:55,420 --> 00:02:57,660 Dive in, snap it up and get out quick with the spoils. 28 00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,120 You know what a shark does. 29 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:03,140 Raymond, do not sully the name of commerce. 30 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,600 What? Well, you absolutely know I'm sort of moth -eaten out of that balloon. 31 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:07,698 You've lost leaders. 32 00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:09,720 If I hadn't bought the job lot, I wouldn't have got the mowers, would I? 33 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,240 Anyway, these boys will have their vocation. 34 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,020 Fiat opportunists. 35 00:03:14,940 --> 00:03:16,540 Everything has its opportunity. 36 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:17,860 What, even that balloon? 37 00:03:18,220 --> 00:03:19,220 Oh, yeah. 38 00:03:20,180 --> 00:03:24,380 Well, yeah, you bin that when you've tucked all the mowers up. 39 00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:25,439 What, tonight? 40 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:26,440 Oh, yes. 41 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:30,960 Very easily emotionally disturbed lawnmowers. They hate being out at 42 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,340 is why God invented sheds. 43 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:33,780 Where did those go up? 44 00:03:34,020 --> 00:03:36,780 I don't know, but, Arthur, I'm surprised... This is your generation, 45 00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:40,110 When I was a boy, we used to stuff potatoes up exhaust pipes for a bit of 46 00:03:40,150 --> 00:03:41,129 but your lot, no. 47 00:03:41,130 --> 00:03:44,250 Posters and graffiti all over the place. Yeah, but Arthur, it's half past six. 48 00:03:44,430 --> 00:03:45,490 That's a positive imagination. 49 00:03:45,970 --> 00:03:46,869 Do me a favour. 50 00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:49,450 Take it down before you knock off it. Low as a toad of a place. 51 00:03:51,930 --> 00:03:52,930 Well, that is all right. 52 00:03:53,330 --> 00:03:55,990 28 gnomes. More or less. I'll bin the rest. 53 00:03:57,530 --> 00:03:58,850 Not like you'd have been anything. 54 00:03:59,150 --> 00:04:01,290 Not even I can find a use for an airship. 55 00:04:01,570 --> 00:04:04,890 Airship? Yeah, a blimp balloon thing. You know, you used to have it flying 56 00:04:04,890 --> 00:04:07,730 the car park with Erics on it. You've never been there. 57 00:04:08,130 --> 00:04:11,510 Well, what do I want with a 20 -foot balloon with Erics on it? It makes a bit 58 00:04:11,510 --> 00:04:12,388 money, that's all. 59 00:04:12,390 --> 00:04:13,168 It what? 60 00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:14,590 Who does make a bit of money? 61 00:04:14,850 --> 00:04:16,690 There's a bloke I know up in the black country. 62 00:04:16,950 --> 00:04:19,050 He's got a firm. He rents them out. 63 00:04:19,310 --> 00:04:20,310 What for, right? 64 00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:21,829 It's advertising, Arthur. 65 00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:24,850 Companies will fork out to see their name up in the sky. 66 00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,110 Big money, apparently. 67 00:04:26,370 --> 00:04:30,630 He charges by the week. And, uh, is he? I mean, does he? 68 00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:34,890 Well, all I know is that he bought his missus a brand -new red Porsche for her 69 00:04:34,890 --> 00:04:35,890 birthday. 70 00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:38,130 Because she got bored with the black one. 71 00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:41,550 Young Ray coming in. 72 00:04:42,710 --> 00:04:44,090 He's doing some property maintenance. 73 00:04:44,370 --> 00:04:48,770 Very important, that. The public face of a business should always look clean. 74 00:05:18,190 --> 00:05:19,550 You sure that's the right skit? 75 00:05:21,050 --> 00:05:22,050 Yes, Arthur. 76 00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:23,150 It's in the yellow bag. 77 00:05:23,450 --> 00:05:26,450 I know, Arthur. I put it in here, Arthur, like you told me. Don't raise 78 00:05:26,450 --> 00:05:27,450 voice in the street. 79 00:05:27,970 --> 00:05:29,090 Very unprofessional. 80 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:32,050 Well, it's only a tatty old blimp. Why do you suddenly want it back? 81 00:05:32,310 --> 00:05:35,430 It has been rescued from destruction by the fair maiden of opportunity. 82 00:05:35,910 --> 00:05:38,010 Well, perhaps you'd like to come in here and find it. 83 00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:46,210 Yeah, that's right. One photo. 84 00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:48,990 Four by four, in colour. 85 00:05:50,630 --> 00:05:51,630 How much? 86 00:05:52,530 --> 00:05:54,430 Look, I want it done in Wilsdon, not Trinidad. 87 00:05:55,990 --> 00:05:59,390 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure there are standard rates. But I wasn't aware I'd 88 00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:02,990 phoned Lord Litchfield instead of... Harry Powell at me snapper. 89 00:06:04,150 --> 00:06:06,650 All right, all right, what would it cost in black and white? 90 00:06:07,990 --> 00:06:10,410 Oh, I'm sorry if it impinges on your creativity. 91 00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:14,250 But it'd be cheaper to dismantle the scene and rebuild it in a photo booth. 92 00:06:18,109 --> 00:06:23,010 Ray, how long does it take to press a button? Arthur, here's me thinking 100 % 93 00:06:23,010 --> 00:06:24,650 it's a good marker. Arthur, will you stop? 94 00:06:24,890 --> 00:06:27,530 What is going on? Business is going on, Ray. 95 00:06:27,890 --> 00:06:30,770 Our phoenix is rising out of Eric's hatchet. 96 00:06:31,030 --> 00:06:32,030 What business? 97 00:06:32,470 --> 00:06:33,750 Aha, good boy. 98 00:06:34,930 --> 00:06:36,110 Arthur, what business? 99 00:06:42,150 --> 00:06:45,950 Daily inflatables, advertised in the skies. You are joking. 100 00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,820 Well, if you want to be seen, you've got to be up in the sky and we have a 101 00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:52,900 balloon. We have a balloon with Eric's written on it. Oh, that goes. Any 102 00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:56,820 punter's name can be on there. So what we want, we want a leaflet with a photo 103 00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:57,819 to show them. 104 00:06:57,820 --> 00:07:00,040 Honestly, do you know what these photographers are charging? 105 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,040 I thought he was telling me the speed of the film he was going to be using. 106 00:07:03,260 --> 00:07:06,140 What we want is someone who would do us a favour. 107 00:07:06,580 --> 00:07:07,600 Hold on. 108 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:09,200 That girlfriend of yours. 109 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:10,479 Oh, no. 110 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,380 She's a photographer. I'm not asking Gloria. Well, look, she's got a camera. 111 00:07:13,380 --> 00:07:15,440 She's bound to have some spare film kicking around. 112 00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:19,720 Arthur, I'm not asking Gloria. Oh, come on. No. Why not? Because I know what 113 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:20,579 she'd say. 114 00:07:20,580 --> 00:07:24,840 No. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Look, Gloria, I know what you're going to say. 115 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,200 just said it. Well, let me explain. 116 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:30,860 Oh, I understand, Ray. You want me to take pictures for Arthur Daly for 117 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,040 Look, it's not... I can't believe this, you know. 118 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,860 After all he pushed you through... 119 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:37,420 What's all that skivvying round? 120 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,160 I don't skivvy round. Really? 121 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:43,360 It's a proper job, Gloria. OK, OK, come on. What did you do today, then, in your 122 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:44,560 proper job? What, today? 123 00:07:45,060 --> 00:07:48,920 Yeah. Well, I had to shift some lawnmowers down to, um... Then I had to 124 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:53,020 the... Look, I don't have to justify what I do to you. You're skivvying for 125 00:07:53,020 --> 00:07:56,300 Arthur. Gloria, you've said no, OK? Just don't give me this anti -Arthur stuff. 126 00:07:56,860 --> 00:07:57,860 OK. 127 00:07:58,260 --> 00:08:03,120 Well, I suppose if I tell myself I'm doing it for you and not for Arthur, and 128 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,760 it's the last thing I've ever to do with him, OK. 129 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:06,960 And the price of the meal out? 130 00:08:07,460 --> 00:08:08,460 Done. 131 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,140 Who's he been photographing, anyway? 132 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:16,100 Well, it's not exactly you with that. It's, um... It's an airship. 133 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:17,920 What? 134 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:21,659 What, up there? 135 00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:23,580 I thought you was photographing it in the locker. 136 00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:25,220 You'll have to blow it up. 137 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:28,860 What, with a pipe pump? Don't be dark, Ray. We'll be here all night. No, nip it 138 00:08:28,860 --> 00:08:29,860 down the garage. 139 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,240 Arthur, you just can't itch it up to the free air pump. 140 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,679 No lilos, no footballs. It don't say nothing about no airships. Look, the 141 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:38,340 you can do with air is check for leaks. You can't float it without helium. 142 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:42,200 No. Yes, they just didn't get the R101 down at garage, you know. Yeah, and look 143 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,200 what happened to the R101. 144 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:46,040 What? Well, if that had been full of air, it wouldn't have exploded, would 145 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:47,700 It would have just punctured. 146 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:51,320 Gone 400 miles in three seconds and wrapped itself around a tree in Denmark. 147 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:52,320 wouldn't have got off the ground. 148 00:08:52,540 --> 00:08:54,840 Look, I can't stand in that ring. I've got to be at J. Bolland's at half past. 149 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:55,920 Just get on with the job. 150 00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:05,560 Arthur, I do my job and this isn't it. 151 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,600 Pardon? I'm supposed to be a minder. 152 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:09,840 Yes, Raymond. 153 00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:13,480 And if you look in the Greater Oxford Dictionary under minder, you'll see it's 154 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:17,620 derived from the Latin and it means one who does what he's told without moaning, 155 00:09:17,740 --> 00:09:19,960 which is currently what I'm expecting of you. Now, get on the case. 156 00:09:24,740 --> 00:09:27,260 Joey, as soon as I saw this balloon, I thought of you. 157 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:28,960 You what? 158 00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:30,500 I'm the consumer of advertising. 159 00:09:31,140 --> 00:09:33,980 The ring. Still going strong, I see. Oh, aye. 160 00:09:34,580 --> 00:09:36,240 Legendary Joey Bull and Fight Night. 161 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,780 First Friday of every month. Aye. 162 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,540 What was it we always used to say, you and me? 163 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:44,080 I don't know. 164 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,880 We always used to say something. 165 00:09:46,340 --> 00:09:47,540 We had to say it. 166 00:09:47,780 --> 00:09:48,780 Didn't we? 167 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:49,880 No. 168 00:09:50,260 --> 00:09:51,260 Forgotten it now. 169 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:55,280 Oh, well. Time marches on, Joey. I see you're still using a poster for 170 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,520 advertising. Oh, yeah. 171 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,200 Here's tonight's. 172 00:09:58,670 --> 00:09:59,670 Ah. 173 00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:01,130 Great Moinopather. 174 00:10:01,990 --> 00:10:04,390 Still flying Dutchman van Dijk. 175 00:10:04,590 --> 00:10:05,590 Dutch, is he? 176 00:10:06,070 --> 00:10:08,150 Fantastic left hook. Very good. 177 00:10:08,370 --> 00:10:09,370 Hook of Holland. 178 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:10,610 Holland, hook. 179 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:16,550 Dutch. It's good to see a lifetime of boxing hasn't dulled your native wit, 180 00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:20,570 Joey. But I must say your advertising clout seems a lot to be desired. 181 00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:22,349 How's that? 182 00:10:22,350 --> 00:10:24,450 Well, as it stands, conventional. 183 00:10:24,970 --> 00:10:28,550 But I'm here to tell you, come next month... Your fight night could have a 184 00:10:28,550 --> 00:10:29,770 of the old Arthur Daly punch. 185 00:10:30,070 --> 00:10:33,270 Not started doing the posters, have you? Oh, well, yeah, we could do posters, 186 00:10:33,310 --> 00:10:34,650 obviously. In conjunction. 187 00:10:35,310 --> 00:10:36,370 But you know me, Jelly. 188 00:10:36,750 --> 00:10:38,550 I always have my eye on either thing. 189 00:11:04,989 --> 00:11:05,989 I'm in trouble. 190 00:11:06,450 --> 00:11:07,450 Eh? 191 00:11:08,570 --> 00:11:09,570 No, I'll manage, mate. 192 00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:13,250 Balloon, is it? 193 00:11:14,110 --> 00:11:15,110 Yeah, kind of. 194 00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:18,890 They sometimes have them up with names on, don't they? Yeah, well, that's what 195 00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:19,890 this one's for. 196 00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:21,110 After daily inflatables. 197 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,550 Your boss wants it up over his car lot for a photo. 198 00:11:24,890 --> 00:11:25,890 Yeah, all right, all right. 199 00:11:26,930 --> 00:11:29,790 I told him I can check it for leaks, but he won't do it. It's just a waste of 200 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:33,440 time. If he wants to corner the market in aerial advertising, he's going to 201 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:34,540 to fork it out for a bit of helium. 202 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,060 That's what he's doing, is it? 203 00:11:37,020 --> 00:11:38,020 Cornering the market? 204 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,080 Yeah, supposedly. 205 00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:41,380 I said I'm going, all right! 206 00:11:53,140 --> 00:11:55,020 Not exactly majestic, is it? 207 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:56,280 Not exactly. 208 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,100 Looks like a dinner lady on a bit of string. 209 00:11:59,540 --> 00:12:00,540 70 quid. 210 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:02,300 Immoral, charging for gas. 211 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:05,080 God put gas on this earth for all of us. Yeah. 212 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,460 God didn't put it in canisters right round the transit, did he? 213 00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:12,380 I thought photographers had it good. 214 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:14,820 Tom! 215 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,860 It's just down here, by the pool. 216 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,520 You're not in a very good mood. 217 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:42,720 Mr. Pike, I just came to tell you... You see, Warren, the psychology of 218 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:43,720 disruption. 219 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:49,540 One placid swimming pool and one tiny olive. 220 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,200 Ripples create ripples. 221 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:02,360 Thus, one tiny olive disrupts the status quo. 222 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:04,580 I just thought you should... Someone... 223 00:13:05,180 --> 00:13:07,740 has flicked an olive into our pool, Warren. 224 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:14,900 Someone has trodden on the forbidden lawns. Joey Bullen, I hear, 225 00:13:14,980 --> 00:13:20,160 is having his poster advertising material circulated as of this afternoon 226 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:26,900 a... a Mr Arthur Daly. It appears that... Daly! Don't interrupt, please, 227 00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:29,380 Warren. Sorry. Mr Pike. 228 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:31,180 Sorry, Mr Pike. 229 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,460 It appears... 230 00:13:34,810 --> 00:13:36,310 That we have been undercut. 231 00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,410 We have with the balloons as well. 232 00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:40,850 That's what I came for. 233 00:13:41,590 --> 00:13:43,150 You know you're moving into inflatables. 234 00:13:43,830 --> 00:13:47,450 I just found out there's an Arthur Daly moving into balloons as well. Kind of 235 00:13:47,450 --> 00:13:48,450 Wollstone Manor. 236 00:13:48,830 --> 00:13:50,770 And he's after cornering the market. 237 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:59,170 I think we should treat Mr Daly to a night out on 238 00:13:59,170 --> 00:14:00,170 the marsh. 239 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,090 Don't you, Warren? 240 00:14:04,130 --> 00:14:06,050 Right, my dear. Now, this is what I envisage. 241 00:14:06,290 --> 00:14:11,670 Me standing here with a sort of professional smile and a cabin in the 242 00:14:11,670 --> 00:14:13,310 and the inflatable above my head. 243 00:14:13,650 --> 00:14:16,050 You think you can manage that? I think it may be my powers, Arthur. 244 00:14:16,650 --> 00:14:17,670 Marvellous. Marvellous. Right. 245 00:14:18,330 --> 00:14:19,330 All set? 246 00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:20,630 Twitching to go. Right. 247 00:14:21,770 --> 00:14:23,790 Hold on. Don't click. Don't click. What's all this? 248 00:14:24,150 --> 00:14:25,350 Well, you want me to be in it, don't you? 249 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:28,360 Ray, this is a major company business launch. 250 00:14:28,580 --> 00:14:31,320 I'm part of the company. I'm an executive. You always should be ready. 251 00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:36,660 No, no, no, no. Hold on, hold on. How can I put this, Ray? Look, our business 252 00:14:36,660 --> 00:14:40,000 here is like a little version of our great nation. 253 00:14:40,220 --> 00:14:44,240 Every man has a function. Everyone turns his own little cog in the machine. 254 00:14:44,580 --> 00:14:49,900 Right. Right. Now, whatever his rank, however humble his calling, every man's 255 00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:52,880 job is critical to the running of that great machine. 256 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:53,819 All right? 257 00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:54,820 All right. All right. 258 00:14:54,940 --> 00:14:58,100 But at the end of the day, you can only have one person's head on the stamps. 259 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:01,680 Right? 260 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,060 Are you going to do anything? 261 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:05,559 Like what? 262 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:06,560 It looks a bit dull. 263 00:15:07,060 --> 00:15:10,460 Well, those Brazilian dancers I ordered should be here in a minute. What do you 264 00:15:10,460 --> 00:15:11,239 mean, dull? 265 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:12,380 Dull. Can't you point? 266 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:13,679 Point at what? 267 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:14,680 Your nose. 268 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:15,760 The balloon. 269 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,000 Why, isn't it clear where it is? 270 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:18,680 Oh. 271 00:15:19,740 --> 00:15:21,280 Have you got it in that little square? 272 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,560 You have to have it all in that little square. 273 00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:24,900 Oh, do you, Arthur? 274 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:26,580 Here it all is, yeah. 275 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:29,640 In focus, not all fuzzy? No, it's not fuzzy, Arthur. 276 00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:31,340 Why do I have to point? 277 00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:34,120 I want a promotional photo, not a spot the blimp card. 278 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,840 I'll show you. That is it. I'm going to have to kill him. 279 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:41,620 Look, I know you're used to doing catwalks, but we don't want none of that 280 00:15:41,620 --> 00:15:44,620 stuff, OK? It's all right, Arthur. I left my fuzzy camera at home today. 281 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:46,040 Now, 282 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:47,500 all nice and sharp. 283 00:15:47,860 --> 00:15:50,240 Me, the cabin, and the inflatable. 284 00:15:51,339 --> 00:15:53,760 Arthur, it looks like a holiday snap. 285 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:57,240 You're going to have to interact with it. Hold your arms out. Say, hi, hello, 286 00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:58,500 this is what I've got to offer you. 287 00:15:58,780 --> 00:16:02,280 I am a respected member of this community. I do not want photos of me 288 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:04,460 like Ethel Berman on a supermarket notice board. 289 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,420 Right, well, we'll have to compromise then. 290 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,240 Lead with your hands. 291 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,400 Hold it up like that and smile. Yeah, that's it. 292 00:16:11,060 --> 00:16:12,060 That's lovely. 293 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,800 You have to get it all in the little square. 294 00:16:17,070 --> 00:16:18,070 Make sure it's not fuzzy. 295 00:16:18,570 --> 00:16:20,670 Thanks, Gloria. You were brilliant with him. 296 00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:23,610 Well, you owe me one good night out. 297 00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:26,390 And it has to be Spanish or upwards. It isn't a tandoori job. 298 00:16:26,590 --> 00:16:28,670 I promise you, Spanish, French, Italian, whatever you want. 299 00:16:28,870 --> 00:16:29,870 You deserve it. 300 00:16:31,730 --> 00:16:33,350 What about La Cuisine at 8 o 'clock? 301 00:16:33,570 --> 00:16:36,070 Yeah, all right. I've just got to drop these mums off to Nice. Well, don't be 302 00:16:36,070 --> 00:16:37,650 late. I can't be there. 303 00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:41,550 One minute late and that film goes in the Beaujolais. 304 00:16:42,130 --> 00:16:43,330 8 o 'clock. Yeah, all right. 305 00:16:49,390 --> 00:16:50,750 Oh, hello. Is that a fire brigade? 306 00:17:02,250 --> 00:17:06,210 Yeah, well, not only are they customised for a fire brigade, but they are of 307 00:17:06,210 --> 00:17:09,849 particular interest to firemen because they are, of course, lucky charms. 308 00:17:10,990 --> 00:17:11,990 What was that? 309 00:17:12,970 --> 00:17:18,430 Well, Cornish mythology states that anyone possessing a pixie... or similar 310 00:17:18,430 --> 00:17:20,609 thing, will never be befell by any bad luck. 311 00:17:22,390 --> 00:17:25,050 Yeah, all right, you have a word and I'll call in the morning. 312 00:17:47,820 --> 00:17:49,200 You come to see if I are in the balloon. 313 00:17:59,080 --> 00:17:59,460 You're 314 00:17:59,460 --> 00:18:06,640 late, 315 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:07,840 Mr. Bailey. 316 00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:10,180 I'm sorry. I had bad traffic. 317 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:12,600 Over there, please. 318 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:13,800 Look at your car. 319 00:18:16,540 --> 00:18:17,540 I'm not skivvy, you know. 320 00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:19,120 Pardon? 321 00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:20,780 Nothing. 322 00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:24,640 Can you not roll them on the concrete? 323 00:18:24,860 --> 00:18:26,120 It blunts the blade. 324 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:47,600 Shut up, David. 325 00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:52,220 Pardon? You have trodden on the forbidden lawns. 326 00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:04,260 I've had it, Arthur. 327 00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:08,240 How come it's all right for me to be a skivvy in one way, but I can't be a 328 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:09,640 business associate in the other, eh? 329 00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:11,720 You can't answer that, can you? 330 00:19:14,140 --> 00:19:15,140 Right. 331 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:16,779 Right, Arthur. 332 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:19,700 I think it's about time we had a little chat about job description. 333 00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:24,700 Arthur? 334 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:45,840 You're absolutely sure? 335 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,740 It's taken a few years' practice, Ray, but I can normally spot him from behind 336 00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:52,980 bar. I know that, Dave. It's just that usually when he disappears, he comes 337 00:19:52,980 --> 00:19:54,720 here. And there's his cigar. 338 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:56,280 That's the odd thing. 339 00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:57,700 Yeah. 340 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,480 Half would never leave half a cigar. 341 00:20:00,940 --> 00:20:03,300 But perhaps he was in a bit of a rush. 342 00:20:03,580 --> 00:20:04,419 For where? 343 00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:08,420 It's a slim chance, but he might just have gone home. Come off it, Dave. 344 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,180 Stranger things have happened. 345 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,820 Ah, mademoiselle, bonsoir. 346 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:17,080 Par ici. 347 00:20:18,620 --> 00:20:19,620 Thank you. 348 00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:21,300 A drink, perhaps? 349 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:22,700 Yes, please, dry martini. 350 00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:25,540 You're waiting for someone? 351 00:20:25,820 --> 00:20:26,820 Ah, yes, I am. 352 00:20:27,020 --> 00:20:28,740 Aunty, yeah, it's Ray. 353 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:34,180 Yeah, me, I'm all right, I'm fine. I'm just wondering, you ever seen Arthur in 354 00:20:34,180 --> 00:20:35,180 the last hour or two, have you? 355 00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:38,120 Of course, I must be crazy. 356 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,060 I'll try him down in Winchester. 357 00:20:41,180 --> 00:20:43,180 It's a funny feeling being stood up, isn't it? 358 00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:47,670 You get this funny empty feeling in your stomach, and suddenly everyone else is 359 00:20:47,670 --> 00:20:50,330 in couples and happy and kissing, and you're the only one who isn't. 360 00:20:51,670 --> 00:20:53,530 Not so bad when it's two of us, is it? 361 00:20:54,610 --> 00:20:56,090 This is how they meet in films. 362 00:20:56,750 --> 00:20:58,930 No, Lenny, stop laughing. 363 00:20:59,890 --> 00:21:01,130 Lenny, this is serious. 364 00:21:01,870 --> 00:21:03,330 Oh, if I had to disappear. 365 00:21:04,370 --> 00:21:07,030 Look, I haven't trodden on any forbidden rules. 366 00:21:08,090 --> 00:21:10,290 But if I did, there wasn't any signs up. 367 00:21:11,010 --> 00:21:12,350 So you think it was... 368 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,280 See your way to taking me back? 369 00:21:18,260 --> 00:21:19,260 Hello? 370 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,540 No, right, you can't go to the law. Not yet. 371 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:27,940 Besides, if you ring them and tell them that Arthur Daly has been abducted, it's 372 00:21:27,940 --> 00:21:29,880 going to be two days before they stop curing. 373 00:21:30,740 --> 00:21:33,300 He hasn't been gone all that long. It's only just half our state. 374 00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:35,120 Our fate? 375 00:21:35,820 --> 00:21:36,820 Gloria. 376 00:21:38,620 --> 00:21:40,540 Thanks. Can I get you some wine? 377 00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:44,990 Aye. Yeah, I'll have a Beaujolais. A bottle? No, a glass with about that much 378 00:21:44,990 --> 00:21:45,509 it, please. 379 00:21:45,510 --> 00:21:47,030 Just enough to drop a roll of film in. 380 00:21:48,470 --> 00:21:52,650 Look, I hadn't realised the government had privatised the park keeper service. 381 00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:56,690 When I was a lad, they used to wallop you round the ear and tell your parents. 382 00:21:58,770 --> 00:22:04,190 I didn't realise it's become an imprisonable offence. You have trodden 383 00:22:04,190 --> 00:22:05,630 forbidden lawns. 384 00:22:10,860 --> 00:22:13,860 Gloria, I'm sorry I'm a bit late. Oh, Ray, it's lovely to see you. 385 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:17,820 Can I just warn you in advance of your excuse that there is one word which you 386 00:22:17,820 --> 00:22:20,660 might use which will sink this film. OK, go on. 387 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,320 Gloria, I'm sorry I'm late. I've had a bit of trouble with Arthur. 388 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,560 Oh, that was the word. Gloria. 389 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,820 Have a nice meal, eh? Gloria, sit down. It's important. I think Arthur's been 390 00:22:29,820 --> 00:22:33,500 abducted. Ray, of all the excuses available to you... It's not an excuse. 391 00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:35,160 not going to make up an excuse like that, am I? 392 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:36,560 Abducted? 393 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:45,040 One thing I meant to stop happening, and I... Well, I failed, haven't I? What 394 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,700 has he got into this time? 395 00:22:47,220 --> 00:22:48,760 He's gone out of his depth, hasn't he? 396 00:22:49,620 --> 00:22:51,180 He's not started anything new, has he? 397 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:52,480 No. 398 00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:53,680 This balloons thing. 399 00:22:54,060 --> 00:22:56,460 I hardly think balloons are a big mafia issue, do you? 400 00:22:57,100 --> 00:23:00,400 So there's no new faces about the place that he might have had dealings with? 401 00:23:00,620 --> 00:23:02,980 Gloria, I've told you, there's... What? 402 00:23:04,740 --> 00:23:05,820 The bloke from the garage. 403 00:23:06,060 --> 00:23:07,060 What garage? 404 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:08,240 Come on. No! 405 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:09,800 I'm going to ask a question. 406 00:23:10,620 --> 00:23:16,020 And I'll be very grateful if the answer didn't contain the words lawns are 407 00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:17,020 forbidden. 408 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:18,440 Right? 409 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,660 Where are we going? 410 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:26,140 You have trodden. Thank you very much. 411 00:23:27,220 --> 00:23:29,140 Is the attendant a man or a woman? 412 00:23:29,540 --> 00:23:30,459 That's a bloke. 413 00:23:30,460 --> 00:23:32,100 Right. Well, I'll go then. 414 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:33,320 You? Why? 415 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:36,440 Well, because if I go, I stand more chance of getting what I want. 416 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:40,300 And tragically, that's the way the world works. 417 00:23:41,820 --> 00:23:42,820 Don't ask me why. 418 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:51,320 Excuse me. 419 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:52,560 What pump is it? 420 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:54,180 No, no pump. 421 00:23:54,380 --> 00:23:56,660 I was wondering if you could help me. I'm in a bit of trouble. 422 00:23:57,020 --> 00:23:58,020 What's the problem? 423 00:23:58,100 --> 00:24:02,200 Well, I was just driving past here yesterday and this man in a van pulled 424 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:03,320 right into my path. 425 00:24:04,060 --> 00:24:05,420 And, well... 426 00:24:05,630 --> 00:24:08,590 I've just been to the hospital, and it's whiplash. It's nothing. 427 00:24:09,430 --> 00:24:13,250 The man said that he'd leave his name and address with my car for the 428 00:24:13,310 --> 00:24:15,910 and when I got the name, it just doesn't exist. 429 00:24:16,630 --> 00:24:18,590 And the car's a total write -off. 430 00:24:19,190 --> 00:24:23,230 Oh, it's just a chance, but you don't know how he might have been. 431 00:24:25,730 --> 00:24:29,930 Pike. Yeah, Tony Pike business account. That's what was on the check. 432 00:24:30,150 --> 00:24:31,350 Tony Pike? Do you know him? 433 00:24:31,710 --> 00:24:32,990 No. Damn. 434 00:24:34,820 --> 00:24:35,820 Hang about it. 435 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,900 I mean, not personally, but I have heard the name. 436 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,000 Somebody I know has talked about him. 437 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:43,520 Well, come on, Dave. Anything. 438 00:24:43,740 --> 00:24:45,160 I mean, what he does, where he goes, anything. 439 00:24:45,900 --> 00:24:47,540 Someone I know worked with him. 440 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,320 I can picture him telling me. Yeah? 441 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:51,760 I can't remember. 442 00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:53,800 This isn't going to work. 443 00:24:54,340 --> 00:24:56,040 We'll have to think of something else to do. 444 00:24:56,420 --> 00:24:57,860 Hang about. Hang about. I've got it. 445 00:24:58,340 --> 00:24:59,340 It's Bullard. 446 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,440 Who? Joey Bullard. The boxing bloke. 447 00:25:26,830 --> 00:25:27,830 Ow. 448 00:25:28,150 --> 00:25:29,250 Where the hell are we? 449 00:25:29,610 --> 00:25:30,610 What's going on? 450 00:25:30,650 --> 00:25:33,790 We're having a night out on a marsh. Hey, no, no. What's going on? You've got 451 00:25:33,790 --> 00:25:36,630 the wrong float. I definitely didn't book this. Well, you don't have to book. 452 00:25:36,750 --> 00:25:39,210 Hold on, hold on. You don't have to do anything. Look, you've got the wrong 453 00:25:39,390 --> 00:25:41,470 Stay in there with Warren until Tony Pike turns up. 454 00:25:41,730 --> 00:25:46,350 Who? You see, you have trodden on the forbidden lawns, Mr Dagny. 455 00:25:47,290 --> 00:25:51,890 That means tomorrow morning they'll be taking you out of your own crutches. 456 00:25:52,390 --> 00:25:53,390 Get up. 457 00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:16,000 Don't touch me. You're only three minutes. 458 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:20,680 Excuse me, mate. What? Who are you? I'm looking for Joey Bullen. Who let you 459 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,720 back here? This is authorized only. 460 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,660 I've got to see him. It's really important, mate. Well, he's not here. 461 00:26:25,900 --> 00:26:27,800 A flight started. He's in the auditorium. 462 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,260 Out. All right. Can you tell us what he looks like, then? Out. 463 00:26:31,660 --> 00:26:32,660 Good boy, mate. 464 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:34,600 Oh, it's coming. 465 00:26:36,660 --> 00:26:38,140 Look, excuse me. Shut up. 466 00:26:41,620 --> 00:26:43,800 Just a minute. I said shut up. 467 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:47,740 Look, could I just ask one question that could be crucial to all this? 468 00:26:48,260 --> 00:26:50,060 One? One question, then shut it. 469 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:51,600 Who is Tony Pike? 470 00:26:52,500 --> 00:26:53,500 They all say that. 471 00:26:54,260 --> 00:26:55,260 I'll bet. 472 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:56,860 You know, I've done this before. 473 00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,820 I just bet they all say that, though. 474 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,240 Ladies and gentlemen! 475 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,120 Who looks like they run the place? 476 00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:09,720 The third man this evening, from Finsbury Park, weighing 180 pounds, will 477 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,640 welcome Mike Middleman! 478 00:27:23,980 --> 00:27:24,980 Don't think of Sammy. 479 00:27:29,100 --> 00:27:31,720 Excuse me, Joey Bullen. 480 00:27:33,220 --> 00:27:36,900 I want a word, please, Mr Bullen. Shut up, there's a bloody fight going on, 481 00:27:36,900 --> 00:27:37,900 hadn't you noticed? 482 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:41,740 Listen, I just... And from Heindhoven, in the lowlands, weighing... 483 00:28:19,290 --> 00:28:20,330 He's my uncle. 484 00:28:28,490 --> 00:28:29,490 Sit down. 485 00:28:32,190 --> 00:28:33,190 Feet. 486 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,640 We go back, him and me. Mr Bullen, Arthur has disappeared. 487 00:28:52,980 --> 00:28:55,020 What? That's while we're here. He's gone. 488 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:58,340 We think it might have something to do with a guy called Tony Pike. 489 00:28:59,960 --> 00:29:00,960 Pike? 490 00:29:01,340 --> 00:29:02,340 You're kidding. 491 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:03,440 I know him. 492 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:04,880 Oh, yeah. 493 00:29:05,500 --> 00:29:06,940 I know Tony Pike. 494 00:29:10,060 --> 00:29:11,220 Just a bit of business. 495 00:29:13,740 --> 00:29:14,740 Don't wait up. 496 00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:16,580 I could be a little while. 497 00:29:27,820 --> 00:29:29,980 No, it isn't. So he's got a fly -posting racket? 498 00:29:30,180 --> 00:29:32,800 No, not a deep fly -posting racket. 499 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,480 And if anyone else gives it a go... Well, what? 500 00:29:36,700 --> 00:29:39,040 He has this thing, a knife out on the marshes. 501 00:29:39,540 --> 00:29:41,060 Anyone who crosses him gets it. 502 00:29:41,340 --> 00:29:43,060 Gets what? What is it? I don't know. 503 00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:45,740 All I know is the blokes who come back. 504 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:47,920 Look. 505 00:29:48,300 --> 00:29:49,900 I don't like in front of the lady. 506 00:29:50,180 --> 00:29:51,340 Look, tell us, where is it? 507 00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:55,200 The one time he needed me is the one time... You've got to get to him, Ray. 508 00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:58,600 Where are these marshes? We don't know. You'll have to ask somebody who's been. 509 00:29:58,800 --> 00:29:59,800 Who's been? 510 00:30:01,020 --> 00:30:02,140 Les, out there. 511 00:30:02,620 --> 00:30:03,620 Les Critchley. 512 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:05,860 Les! Come in here a minute. 513 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:09,520 Right, Les. 514 00:30:10,300 --> 00:30:11,500 I've got a job for you. 515 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:13,040 Oh, yeah? 516 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:16,080 Lost something? 517 00:30:17,459 --> 00:30:18,480 Hopefully I'm in fags. 518 00:30:19,620 --> 00:30:21,580 You, uh, you smoke cigars? 519 00:30:22,140 --> 00:30:23,140 Why? 520 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,320 Well, just I've got a cigar you can have. 521 00:30:26,180 --> 00:30:29,200 Don't. Don't think just because this is the first time I've fallen for anything. 522 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,000 That's all right, look. 523 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:32,480 There you are. 524 00:30:34,900 --> 00:30:35,900 Favor for a favor. 525 00:30:36,500 --> 00:30:37,820 I don't think this buys you anything. 526 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:40,620 So tell you this, this don't change a thing. 527 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:44,320 Tomorrow morning, they'll still be taking you out on crutches, right? 528 00:30:55,790 --> 00:30:57,150 An old native mine is in trouble. 529 00:30:57,390 --> 00:31:01,490 And we all help our mates, don't we, lads? Look after him, guys. Come on. All 530 00:31:01,490 --> 00:31:02,790 right. Let's get you in here. 531 00:31:04,930 --> 00:31:06,410 Morellacourt, please, mate. Okay, governor. 532 00:31:06,730 --> 00:31:08,770 Look, Ray, will you just please be careful? 533 00:31:08,970 --> 00:31:10,410 It's under control. I'll be fine. 534 00:31:11,650 --> 00:31:15,550 I'll be fine. All right, call me. All right. Go on. Make it snappy, cabbie. 535 00:31:35,340 --> 00:31:37,260 We've got a rendezvous on the market. 536 00:31:43,100 --> 00:31:44,100 Right east, innit? 537 00:31:44,420 --> 00:31:47,320 Start heading east to start with. Yeah, east is fine. 538 00:31:47,900 --> 00:31:48,900 Fine. 539 00:31:49,820 --> 00:31:50,820 Look, 540 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:52,560 you're okay. 541 00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:54,480 You're going to be no danger with me. 542 00:31:54,860 --> 00:31:56,880 Yeah, and you think they'd count, do you? 543 00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:58,540 Against Pint's boys. 544 00:32:01,980 --> 00:32:02,980 Who's with the van? 545 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:07,900 It's a bit bendy. It's all right. 546 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,600 All for me? Aren't you hungry? 547 00:32:10,980 --> 00:32:12,140 Nah, you have it all. 548 00:32:12,700 --> 00:32:15,080 Oh, well, have a chat over supper. 549 00:32:16,060 --> 00:32:18,400 Have a bit of time to spend. 550 00:32:18,740 --> 00:32:19,860 And you know what they say. 551 00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:21,780 Fiat opportunis. 552 00:32:22,380 --> 00:32:23,380 Oh? 553 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,500 Yeah. Warren, why am I here? 554 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:33,480 Because... Because you have trodden on the forbidden lawns. Right, now, these 555 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:37,220 lawns I keep hearing about... Belonged to this Tony Pike, who I also keep 556 00:32:37,220 --> 00:32:37,959 hearing about. 557 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:39,940 And it... Hold on. 558 00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:41,320 I've got it. 559 00:32:41,700 --> 00:32:43,060 It's a lawnmower, isn't it? 560 00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,740 From Eric's. He's into lawnmowers. 561 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,000 No, no. 562 00:32:47,380 --> 00:32:48,380 Advertising. What? 563 00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:51,060 Posters. Well, not just posters anymore. 564 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:53,360 Advertising blimps. This isn't anything. 565 00:32:57,500 --> 00:32:58,500 The bus station. 566 00:32:59,180 --> 00:33:00,800 Finsbury Park, that's where they got me. 567 00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:03,780 I can't go past it now. Here it is. 568 00:33:04,030 --> 00:33:06,750 Have to go up Trollerton and Park Road, turn left into Mayfield. 569 00:33:07,050 --> 00:33:08,170 Oh, gotcha. All right. 570 00:33:09,470 --> 00:33:10,470 Well, these boys. 571 00:33:11,470 --> 00:33:13,310 Always had these head cases around him. 572 00:33:33,409 --> 00:33:34,590 Inospitable, this place, isn't it? 573 00:33:35,030 --> 00:33:36,390 That's why Tony likes it. 574 00:33:38,370 --> 00:33:40,110 How does this Mr. 575 00:33:40,350 --> 00:33:42,150 Piper of yours take apologies, Warren? 576 00:33:43,370 --> 00:33:44,370 Doesn't work. 577 00:33:44,650 --> 00:33:45,650 Didn't for me. 578 00:33:46,810 --> 00:33:52,090 So, do you come from a long line of minders, Warren? 579 00:33:52,410 --> 00:33:53,890 I mean, is it a family profession? 580 00:33:54,170 --> 00:33:55,009 No, no. 581 00:33:55,010 --> 00:33:56,130 Dad was a fish porter. 582 00:33:56,930 --> 00:33:57,930 Billingsgate. 583 00:33:58,150 --> 00:34:00,510 So this Mr. Pike must have made you a very good offer. 584 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:02,300 It's going to be beaten up. 585 00:34:03,260 --> 00:34:04,260 Ah. 586 00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:07,580 So you decided discretion was the better part of valour. 587 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:09,080 Yeah. 588 00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:11,260 Yeah, that's really true. 589 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:16,940 Yeah. You know a lot of, you know, sayings, don't you? I rely on them, 590 00:34:17,500 --> 00:34:23,179 The words of the wise are but torches to guide us through the tunnel of life. 591 00:34:23,540 --> 00:34:24,540 I like that. 592 00:34:25,500 --> 00:34:29,320 Sayings. Like treading on the forbidden lawns. 593 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,080 The taking out on crutches was mine. 594 00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:33,520 I did that. 595 00:34:33,820 --> 00:34:34,880 Very effective. 596 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:40,300 What was that of yours, that Fiat Opportuni? Fiat Opportunis. 597 00:34:40,940 --> 00:34:42,139 You speak Latin as well? 598 00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:43,360 Like a native. 599 00:34:43,820 --> 00:34:46,840 Fiat, let there be, Opportunis, opportunity. 600 00:34:47,900 --> 00:34:48,900 See, I like that. 601 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:50,360 I love all that. 602 00:34:51,620 --> 00:34:52,699 He thinks I'm thick. 603 00:34:53,580 --> 00:34:54,580 Who does? 604 00:34:54,679 --> 00:34:55,719 Shut up, Warren. 605 00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:57,780 Mr Pike, please. 606 00:34:58,730 --> 00:35:00,430 Gladys, give me this, give me that. 607 00:35:00,810 --> 00:35:02,890 Will you some physical aggression, Warren? 608 00:35:04,570 --> 00:35:05,650 I hate all that. 609 00:35:07,630 --> 00:35:08,630 I hate it. 610 00:35:16,070 --> 00:35:19,310 He likes to think he's some long, good Friday gangster. 611 00:35:20,090 --> 00:35:22,170 He's got all this technique. 612 00:35:23,810 --> 00:35:24,810 That's what he's minding. 613 00:35:25,390 --> 00:35:26,510 They lock you in there. 614 00:35:28,350 --> 00:35:29,810 ...place and just stare at you. 615 00:35:31,430 --> 00:35:32,930 He won't turn up for ages. 616 00:35:33,670 --> 00:35:38,270 But he tells them just to stare, say nothing. 617 00:35:39,350 --> 00:35:41,490 My dad, you see, hated violence. 618 00:35:42,230 --> 00:35:43,230 Couldn't stand it. 619 00:35:44,090 --> 00:35:46,050 I think he was working a lot with fish that did it. 620 00:35:46,450 --> 00:35:49,130 Because they're very calm, aren't they, fish? Yeah, yeah. 621 00:35:49,370 --> 00:35:50,490 They're not naturally aggressive. 622 00:35:50,770 --> 00:35:52,430 No, no, no, no. Very calm. 623 00:35:53,350 --> 00:35:54,350 Precisely. 624 00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:58,480 Then he turns up. 625 00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:01,160 Okay. 626 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:02,400 Pipe done. 627 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,600 And he has this cigar waiting. 628 00:36:06,260 --> 00:36:10,780 And he just smokes it without saying anything. Just looking at you. 629 00:36:11,860 --> 00:36:12,860 He loves that. 630 00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:15,560 Then he's nearly finished. 631 00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:18,520 And he stubs it. 632 00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:21,280 Well, that's just the aperitif. 633 00:36:22,720 --> 00:36:24,800 He has this block of wood and a... 634 00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:29,520 And I am Bart, and look, where was all this? 635 00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:30,960 I saw the signs. 636 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:32,680 For Dartford. 637 00:36:37,260 --> 00:36:39,120 Tell me more about your dad, Warren. 638 00:36:40,060 --> 00:36:42,040 Oh, well, only if you want to, obviously. 639 00:36:43,660 --> 00:36:44,800 He liked words, Dad. 640 00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:47,480 He used to get to read his digest. 641 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,640 He had this page with nice little sayings people had said. 642 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,360 He used to learn them. He used to say them, like you. 643 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:55,120 He knew hundreds. 644 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:57,000 Night. 645 00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:00,400 Why do we grow older if not to grow wiser? 646 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:04,840 Or a twinge of conscience, Warren. 647 00:37:05,420 --> 00:37:06,440 It's a glimpse of God. 648 00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:09,580 God? God. Oh, God. God, right, yeah. 649 00:37:10,340 --> 00:37:11,700 I think he would have liked me to be a writer. 650 00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:13,760 Something with words. 651 00:37:14,100 --> 00:37:15,500 Or possibly something to do with fish. 652 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:17,080 That would have made him really proud. 653 00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:19,180 Well, you do work for a Mr Pike. 654 00:37:20,700 --> 00:37:22,840 I suppose I must have let him down a bit, really. 655 00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:27,600 I can't really be proud of being on the dole for 20 years and then running a 656 00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:28,578 poster outfit. 657 00:37:28,580 --> 00:37:31,900 Well, we all happened to find our... You ran a poster gang? 658 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:33,800 On me own. 659 00:37:34,500 --> 00:37:35,500 That's how I ended up here. 660 00:37:37,100 --> 00:37:39,220 I was up pasting on Muswell Hill one night. 661 00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:41,080 Tony Pike draws up. 662 00:37:41,700 --> 00:37:44,100 He gets out shouting and screaming. 663 00:37:44,740 --> 00:37:46,200 Now he's going to put me in the back of the van. 664 00:37:47,340 --> 00:37:48,560 But, like, he's two feet smaller. 665 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:52,920 He just stops and looks up and says, all right, you give me the option. 666 00:37:54,350 --> 00:38:00,490 I'd get beaten up or have a job driving around chasing those who was treading on 667 00:38:00,490 --> 00:38:05,430 his forbidden lawns. But, Warren, did it never cross your mind to beat him up at 668 00:38:05,430 --> 00:38:06,430 all? 669 00:38:06,530 --> 00:38:08,450 I can't really handle the physical aggression. 670 00:38:09,010 --> 00:38:10,490 Oh, dear, Warren. 671 00:38:12,590 --> 00:38:13,590 Here. 672 00:38:14,290 --> 00:38:15,870 You ain't trying anything psycho. 673 00:38:16,750 --> 00:38:20,290 You know, soften me up, cos it won't work. 674 00:38:20,650 --> 00:38:23,130 Warren, I wouldn't dream of it. 675 00:38:29,750 --> 00:38:30,750 Honestly. Left. 676 00:38:32,170 --> 00:38:33,170 Right. 677 00:38:33,310 --> 00:38:35,130 No, left, as you were. 678 00:38:35,370 --> 00:38:37,830 Now, make up your mind. I don't know, do I? 679 00:38:38,570 --> 00:38:40,150 You don't know what this is like, mate. 680 00:38:40,770 --> 00:38:44,350 This is like escaping from the gates of hell and someone driving you back again 681 00:38:44,350 --> 00:38:45,350 in a taxi. 682 00:38:46,930 --> 00:38:49,530 You talk a lot about your dad, Warren, don't you? 683 00:38:50,270 --> 00:38:53,050 Did he pass on any pearls of wisdom? 684 00:38:54,140 --> 00:38:55,140 Pearls of wisdom. 685 00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:56,880 That's nice. 686 00:38:56,980 --> 00:38:58,940 Yeah, you know, little lessons to help you through life. 687 00:38:59,720 --> 00:39:00,720 Yeah. 688 00:39:01,700 --> 00:39:08,600 Yeah. He used to put me on his knee and say, Warren, never ever eat the head of 689 00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:09,600 a turbot. 690 00:39:09,740 --> 00:39:13,820 You're right. No, I meant more emotional rather than fish -oriented. 691 00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:15,740 The brown stuff is dangerous. 692 00:39:16,780 --> 00:39:18,520 And the eyes are really bitter. 693 00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,260 My dad passed on a pearl of wisdom to me. 694 00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:22,520 Yeah. 695 00:39:22,670 --> 00:39:25,950 Arthur, he said, fear is a weapon. 696 00:39:26,410 --> 00:39:31,590 The knife itself is not frightening, but fear of the knife is what's 697 00:39:31,590 --> 00:39:32,590 frightening. 698 00:39:32,610 --> 00:39:35,950 And the more you think about that, the truer it becomes. 699 00:39:38,070 --> 00:39:39,070 Yeah. 700 00:39:39,950 --> 00:39:43,250 Some knives are frightening. 701 00:39:43,510 --> 00:39:44,488 Yeah, Warren. 702 00:39:44,490 --> 00:39:45,750 Some knives are massive. 703 00:39:46,250 --> 00:39:47,250 Yeah. 704 00:39:47,550 --> 00:39:50,230 They had these huge ones you used to fillet conger eels with. 705 00:39:50,850 --> 00:39:54,630 Yeah, what I'm trying to say, Warren, is all of this has happened to me before. 706 00:39:55,010 --> 00:39:56,090 Being kidnapped? Yeah. 707 00:39:56,610 --> 00:39:58,590 It was very traumatic. I was seven. 708 00:39:59,230 --> 00:40:02,450 And there was this other kid, well, you know how you get one who's a bully boy. 709 00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:08,950 Yeah. And he locked me in this sports shed, tied me up and stuck a beanbag in 710 00:40:08,950 --> 00:40:10,930 mouth so I couldn't call for help. 711 00:40:11,330 --> 00:40:14,710 And I could hear all the others playing outside, playing British Bulldog on the 712 00:40:14,710 --> 00:40:15,710 field. Right. 713 00:40:15,830 --> 00:40:18,530 When I told my dad, half they said... 714 00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:25,640 If you don't stand up to this lad, you will have a beanbag in your mouth for 715 00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:27,240 rest of your life. 716 00:40:27,580 --> 00:40:30,860 Your fear of him is his only weapon. 717 00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:34,580 Do you see what I'm trying to say, Warren? 718 00:40:34,860 --> 00:40:38,780 Yeah. That is all Tony Pike has got. 719 00:41:00,460 --> 00:41:01,460 Straight on? 720 00:41:02,140 --> 00:41:03,140 Definitely? 721 00:41:03,380 --> 00:41:04,380 Definitely. 722 00:41:06,700 --> 00:41:07,700 Stop! 723 00:41:09,580 --> 00:41:11,260 For what? 724 00:41:12,020 --> 00:41:13,480 Left. I think it was left. 725 00:41:13,820 --> 00:41:14,840 You said definitely. 726 00:41:15,240 --> 00:41:18,660 I was upside down and I banged around, wasn't I? But didn't you look on the way 727 00:41:18,660 --> 00:41:19,860 back? Funnily enough, no. 728 00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:23,600 Funnily enough, I was just running away, but I passed out from my ankles. What 729 00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:24,319 did she do? 730 00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:25,960 Don't tell me that. I don't want to hear it. 731 00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:33,320 You see, Warren, I know minders. There's good and there's bad. 732 00:41:33,540 --> 00:41:36,020 And a good minder's better than skivvying around. 733 00:41:36,500 --> 00:41:38,720 You are a sensitive person, Warren. 734 00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:40,520 That makes you bigger than all this. 735 00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:41,860 You're bigger than skivvying. 736 00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:44,920 You're bigger than Tony Pike, let's face it. Two feet bigger. 737 00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:50,920 So why are you here? 738 00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,640 Because you are frightened of him. We all are. 739 00:41:55,380 --> 00:41:58,580 But remember what happened when he got out of the van at Muswell Hill. He 740 00:41:58,580 --> 00:41:59,700 stopped dead. And why? 741 00:42:00,220 --> 00:42:02,760 Because he is frightened of you. 742 00:42:12,180 --> 00:42:13,180 Somewhere. 743 00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:15,259 Somewhere here. 744 00:42:15,260 --> 00:42:16,340 I can feel it. 745 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:17,640 It better be. 746 00:42:17,900 --> 00:42:22,200 You've got a chance to spit that beanbag out and keep the door open. That is the 747 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:26,300 great choice in your life now, Warren. Stay in the shed or run about in the 748 00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:30,460 Walk out of this place into that bright new dorm with your red -held eye and 749 00:42:30,460 --> 00:42:35,560 say, I am Warren. I am not a skivvy. I am a dignified human being. 750 00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:39,400 Oh, think what your dad would say. 751 00:42:53,860 --> 00:42:54,860 There. 752 00:42:55,420 --> 00:42:56,420 Up there. 753 00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:58,040 You sure? 754 00:42:58,140 --> 00:42:59,440 A night on the marsh. 755 00:43:00,060 --> 00:43:01,060 Up there. 756 00:43:02,500 --> 00:43:04,360 Oh, come on, then. Oh, no. No. 757 00:43:04,660 --> 00:43:05,660 Sorry. 758 00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:08,040 Liz. I can't. That's it. 759 00:43:08,540 --> 00:43:10,140 Liz. Come on. 760 00:43:10,900 --> 00:43:15,220 All right. 761 00:43:44,620 --> 00:43:45,620 Arthur! Arthur! 762 00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:58,760 Mr. 763 00:44:01,900 --> 00:44:02,900 Daly. 764 00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:07,720 Well, you want to tie this one up, Warren? He's a strong lad. 765 00:44:08,940 --> 00:44:10,900 So this is thee, Mr. 766 00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:16,980 Daly. This is the olive in our pool. This is the man with the balloons. 767 00:44:18,500 --> 00:44:21,820 Who's been treading on the forbidden lawns of Tony Pike. 768 00:44:23,460 --> 00:44:24,560 Tony Pike. 769 00:44:25,580 --> 00:44:26,780 Heard of me, have you? 770 00:44:27,380 --> 00:44:28,880 Yeah, I've heard of you. 771 00:44:36,919 --> 00:44:38,180 Warren, get in here, Warren. 772 00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:43,100 Can you help him, Warren? 773 00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:49,280 Warren? 774 00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:14,460 I'm Ray Daly, Mr. Pike. 775 00:45:14,860 --> 00:45:16,040 After Daly's minder. 776 00:45:16,580 --> 00:45:20,560 And if you tell me what you've done with my uncle, I'm going to make you wish 777 00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:21,620 you'd never come out here tonight. 778 00:45:21,900 --> 00:45:24,000 I haven't done anything. So where is he then? I don't know. 779 00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:28,500 Right. No, I don't know. I don't know, do I? Warren the minder's taken him off. 780 00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:30,760 He's done it himself. He's thick. He's soft. 781 00:45:30,980 --> 00:45:33,260 No, I was calling. You heard. 782 00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:36,420 I thought he was here. Otherwise, I wouldn't have come here, would I? 783 00:46:35,300 --> 00:46:36,980 Right. Goodbye, then. 784 00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:38,360 Thanks, Arthur. 785 00:46:38,500 --> 00:46:42,660 Always happy to oblige. If you get any trouble from Tony Pike... I've got your 786 00:46:42,660 --> 00:46:46,440 number. And remember, my friend, fear opportunists. 787 00:46:46,900 --> 00:46:48,240 Fear opportunists. 788 00:46:48,900 --> 00:46:49,900 Hello. 789 00:47:35,720 --> 00:47:36,720 I'm sorry, Arthur. 790 00:47:38,820 --> 00:47:41,980 You gave me a job to do and I was so bothered about what kind of job it was 791 00:47:41,980 --> 00:47:46,180 in the end I... I just didn't do it. 792 00:47:49,660 --> 00:47:50,660 Don't worry, Ray. 793 00:47:51,820 --> 00:47:52,820 Eh? 794 00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:54,960 You did your best in the circumstances. 795 00:47:55,460 --> 00:47:56,620 We all make mistakes. 796 00:47:57,220 --> 00:47:59,960 Wait. Ray is the man who knows when he's made a mistake. 797 00:48:00,580 --> 00:48:01,980 The words of Lee Chai Min. 798 00:48:03,060 --> 00:48:04,060 Engineer. 799 00:48:04,240 --> 00:48:07,760 Yeah, Arthur. Never let it be said that Arthur Daly fell foul of that dictum. 800 00:48:08,300 --> 00:48:10,120 Yeah, but Arthur, I mean, what happened out there? 801 00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:11,760 Hmm. 802 00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:14,140 Quite a lot happened. 803 00:48:15,340 --> 00:48:18,680 Suffice it to say, I have just spent the most illuminating night on the marshes, 804 00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:23,500 as a result of which a 15 -stone man mountain has gone off to fiat 805 00:48:23,500 --> 00:48:24,500 for the rest of his life. 806 00:48:24,720 --> 00:48:26,540 And I've come back to Wilsdon for a shower. 807 00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:32,620 Yeah, but how did you get... Raymond, do you think it falls within your role of 808 00:48:32,620 --> 00:48:34,980 duty? To run me back to the car lot. 809 00:48:38,060 --> 00:48:39,060 Come on. 810 00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:46,740 You see, Ray, it suddenly struck me while I was sitting down there that I 811 00:48:46,740 --> 00:48:47,900 made a considerable mistake. 812 00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:52,940 I mean, if I hadn't had you running around delivering lawnmowers and God 813 00:48:52,940 --> 00:48:56,540 what all, well, it's more than likely I'd never have been on a night out in 814 00:48:56,540 --> 00:48:58,980 first place because you would have been there to protect me. 815 00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:02,700 You see, I know you wouldn't say anything. 816 00:49:03,370 --> 00:49:07,610 But there's been a degree of late to which you've had the odd few skivvying 817 00:49:07,610 --> 00:49:08,529 jobs, right? 818 00:49:08,530 --> 00:49:11,090 No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't deny it. 819 00:49:11,450 --> 00:49:14,730 And I have come to realise in my art of arts that that is true. 820 00:49:15,370 --> 00:49:17,250 You are worth more than that. 821 00:49:17,710 --> 00:49:18,790 I know that now. 822 00:49:25,610 --> 00:49:28,930 So, I think it's time we had a chat about job descriptions. 823 00:49:29,330 --> 00:49:30,288 If you say so. 824 00:49:30,290 --> 00:49:31,290 Oh, I do, I do. 825 00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:33,960 I mean, wherefore do we get older if not to get wiser? 826 00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:39,300 Arthur. And I say to you, no more lawnmowers giving jobs, no more peeling 827 00:49:39,300 --> 00:49:40,218 posters jobs. 828 00:49:40,220 --> 00:49:43,960 Yeah, Arthur. No, no, no, I will not hear a word against it. Arthur. And no 829 00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:47,940 manual labour balloon -making jobs. Arthur. That is my pledge to you. 830 00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:49,480 Will you have a look? What? 831 00:50:02,060 --> 00:50:06,740 Raymond, before we have our little chat, there is just one last favour.