1 00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:05,797 Not in this Janet. 2 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,507 Next. 3 00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:13,554 What are you waiting for? Do it. 4 00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:15,056 It's not that easy. 5 00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:18,518 He lived a whole life and then 802 afterlives, 6 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,896 and a second life, then a second afterlife, 7 00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:22,856 and then a third "first" afterlife. 8 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:26,943 His psyche is like a giant bowl of MandM Peep chili. 9 00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:28,653 I gotta make sure all the memories go in the right place 10 00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,071 in the right order. 11 00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:31,406 Maybe I just start him at the beginning, 12 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:33,408 - a full factory reset. - Man. 13 00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:34,617 Janet, can I please have a drink 14 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:35,868 with a lot of alcohol in it? 15 00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:37,370 Here, I saved this from my funeral. 16 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:38,788 It's called a Duval Ditchwater. 17 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,999 It's Midori, Coffee-Mate, and ditch water. 18 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,917 - I'll get you a margarita. - Yeah, that sounds better. 19 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,601 It's not. Seriously, try this. 20 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,880 - Okay, here we go... - Oh... 21 00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:04,773 Oh! 22 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:07,734 - He has your eyes. - And your smile. 23 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,361 - Now he just needs a name. - Big decision. 24 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:13,657 - How about Chidi? - Oh, I like that. 25 00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:15,784 Do you like it, Chidi? 26 00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:17,701 Or would you like a different name? 27 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,665 - Looks like he has a tummy ache. - Uh-oh. 28 00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:22,916 Chidi. 29 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:30,580 You're not listening to me. 30 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:32,300 Everything always has to be your way. 31 00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,052 And what is the one right way? 32 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,137 I mean, how many times have I told you this? 33 00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:37,597 I thought this was what you wanted. 34 00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,223 No, it's obviously what you want. 35 00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:41,309 You're just angry that your book was rejected. 36 00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:43,060 Oh, how dare you bring that up again? 37 00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:44,938 You're always at the university! 38 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,023 How about use show some interest in someone 39 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,817 who didn't die 200 years ago? 40 00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,985 I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. 41 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,528 We need to go back to Nigeria. 42 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,655 No, we are not going. My family is here. 43 00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:56,992 And we did this for your career. 44 00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:00,996 Good morning, Chidi. 45 00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,538 Would you like some breakfast? 46 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:05,166 I have a presentation. Here's a syllabus. 47 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,002 Take one and pass them on. 48 00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:10,171 My lecture will take approximately 55 minutes. 49 00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:11,673 Let's begin, shall we? 50 00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:16,261 In conclusion, there is one clear answer, 51 00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:19,639 and it's that the two of you should stay married. 52 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,141 Questions? 53 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:24,519 That was clear 54 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,229 and persuasive, 55 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:27,897 and you have made a strong case. 56 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,274 Yes. Well argued. 57 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:31,291 Better than some of my grad students. 58 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,736 You should get ready for school. 59 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,720 - I'll take you. - We'll both take you. 60 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:38,783 It worked? 61 00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:39,826 Perfectly. 62 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,369 They're happy again, Uzo. 63 00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,371 They're even talking about getting me a puppy. 64 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:46,333 But more importantly, I proved once and for all 65 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,793 that you can always find the answer. 66 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,338 - The answer to what? - To anything. 67 00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,340 Every problem has an answer. 68 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,800 If you just read enough books and think hard enough, 69 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:58,134 you can figure out the answer to any question. 70 00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:00,769 I know you're really smart, but that sounds wrong. 71 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,891 Children, please take your seats. 72 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,408 Here's a perfect example. 73 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,770 Where to sit? What's the answer? 74 00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:09,536 Obviously, we want to be back by the pencil sharpener 75 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,149 but in the front I can see 76 00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:12,609 the blackboard better. 77 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:16,071 Or by the door to get a nice breeze. 78 00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:17,572 - Chidi. - Just hang on. 79 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,282 Sorry. 80 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,368 Oh, no. 81 00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:34,130 Okay, I made three batches of different levels of spice. 82 00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:35,631 - Mmm. - Should I make a fourth? 83 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,092 I'm gonna do it. 84 00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:39,260 Oh, I'm so excited for them to meet you. 85 00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:41,388 And I'm excited to meet them, 86 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,682 find out how you got this way. 87 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,309 Oh! 88 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,769 Chidi. 89 00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:51,648 It's so good to see you. 90 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,608 And you must be Allesandra. 91 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,985 He's told us so much about your thesis on Kant. 92 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,612 Oh, I hope he told you more than that. 93 00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:59,280 Oh, yes, of course. 94 00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:01,847 Although he didn't tell us you were so beautiful. 95 00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:04,119 Probably worried that we'd objectify you 96 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:07,080 or devalue your intellectual accomplishments. 97 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,249 That sounds about right. 98 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,916 I still say Professor Lindeman 99 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,502 was a fool to abandon Chidi. 100 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,545 He has a brilliant mind. 101 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:17,298 One day he will use it to solve the world's biggest problems. 102 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:18,424 Is this enough cheese? 103 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:19,842 I hope this is enough cheese. 104 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,552 There's sheep, goat, and cow's milk. 105 00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:22,845 - I can run and get more. - Oh, no. 106 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,931 This is plenty of cheese. 107 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,349 I have to ask, 108 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,560 has Chidi always been so thoughtful? 109 00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:30,228 Ever since he was a child. 110 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,897 I'm sure you've heard about his first great lecture. 111 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:35,066 Oh, no. Not that old story again. 112 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:36,860 It's so embarrassing. 113 00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:37,986 Oh, go ahead. 114 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,404 A long time ago, 115 00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:42,323 Emeka and I were going through a rough patch, 116 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,993 and our little Chidi, at eight years old, 117 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,078 comes in with a one-hour lecture. 118 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,289 All about why we should stay married, 119 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,082 and all these years later, 120 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,751 here we still are. 121 00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,001 It's the reason I got into philosophy. 122 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,503 Mm-hmm. 123 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,254 The biggest questions and the biggest answers, 124 00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:59,215 you just gotta find them. 125 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,134 I mean, I love philosophy, too, 126 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,511 but I'd argue that, say, theoretical physics 127 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,429 presents bigger questions than philosophy. 128 00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:07,140 Oh... 129 00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:10,894 Do you really think that? 130 00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,410 Should I switch to physics? 131 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:17,692 So obviously my parents loved you. 132 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,820 I'm so glad. They're great. 133 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,030 We have to break up. 134 00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:23,782 Uh, wait. 135 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:25,283 What? Why? 136 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,201 I've been feeling this way for a while now. 137 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,704 It's just... why are we together? 138 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:31,539 Because it... it makes sense. 139 00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:33,666 I mean, you like Kant. I like Kant. 140 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:34,917 We're not a book group. 141 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,151 I mean, but we're not 142 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:37,796 not a book group. 143 00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:41,466 Okay, if there's a problem with our relationship, 144 00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,676 there is an answer that will solve it. 145 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,011 - So, let's hit the library. - You wanna use philosophy? 146 00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:47,388 How about David Hume? 147 00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,641 "Reason is and ought only to be 148 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,351 a slave to the passions." 149 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:55,021 You know, emotions, desires, feelings. 150 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:58,066 - Do you have any of those? - Of course I have feelings. 151 00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:00,527 I... I have strong feelings for... for you 152 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,238 and... and what we have, 153 00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:06,866 and right now, I will show you... 154 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,832 How Kant refuted most of Hume's central theses. 155 00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:15,041 - Oh, my God. - He... 156 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,554 So, what do you think? 157 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,056 I think it's 3,600 pages. 158 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,642 I have a job, Chidi. I have a family. 159 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,311 Until I had to read this, I had a will to live. 160 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:40,232 This work is an insane, tangled web of inscrutability. 161 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:42,110 In the fun, 162 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:44,946 "grad students will analyze this for centuries" way? 163 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,948 No, in the Unabomber way. 164 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:49,784 Okay, well, um, I'll write my way out of the maze. 165 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,619 I'll re-outline the middle chapters, 166 00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,413 do more research... No, Chidi. 167 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,164 You can't answer every question 168 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:56,665 every philosopher has ever asked, 169 00:06:56,749 --> 00:07:00,295 so what in these pages do you care about? 170 00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,547 - All of it. Equally. - Shut up. 171 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:03,964 - But... - Shut up, shut up. 172 00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:06,217 - Should I... - Shut up, shut up. 173 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:11,472 The greatest works of modern philosophy are emotional. 174 00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:16,185 They make an argument about how the world is and ought to be. 175 00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:19,647 There is a great mind at work in here, 176 00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,900 but where is the heart? 177 00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:24,193 Where are the guts? 178 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,195 I understand. I do. 179 00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:31,826 So I'm going to go home and compose a short paper for you, 180 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:35,162 arguing that I should continue working on this longer paper. 181 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:36,539 Shut up! 182 00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,753 Wow, tough week. 183 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,922 Sorry, pal. 184 00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:45,840 I mean, honestly, I don't know what hurts more: 185 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:48,217 My thesis meeting or Allesandra. 186 00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:51,554 She was brilliant and... and funny. 187 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:55,516 I thought that maybe she was the answer. 188 00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:58,770 Some things in life don't have an answer. 189 00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:01,021 Isn't that what Allesandra was saying? 190 00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:03,775 Isn't that what your advisor said, too? 191 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,776 Isn't that what everyone who knows you has said to you 192 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:06,986 at every waking moment of your life? 193 00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:08,655 Okay, I can figure this out. 194 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:12,033 I just need to find the answer for how to impress Allesandra, 195 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,550 a separate answer for how to impress my advisor, 196 00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:15,870 or ideally, 197 00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:18,039 one answer for how to impress them both. 198 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,415 Oh, you know what this calls for. 199 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,099 - Don't say it. - A Venn diagram. 200 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:22,501 No Venn diagram. 201 00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,545 If you won't listen to other people, 202 00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,756 do you at least hear what you're saying? 203 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,883 I swear, sometimes it is literally impossible 204 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,218 to be your friend. 205 00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:32,094 You're incapable of making a single decision. 206 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,513 Look, what's the harm in taking a few extra minutes 207 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,224 to find the perfect... 208 00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:44,941 Chidi, come on in. 209 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:47,151 Unless you'd be more comfortable out here. 210 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:51,322 Oh, well, I feel like you want me to... 211 00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:53,032 I tell you what. I'll decide for you. 212 00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,409 - Come on in. - Great. 213 00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:03,501 Watch this. 214 00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:05,544 Your fridge chooses your breakfast for you. 215 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:08,464 - Oatmeal and almond milk. - Extra filmy. 216 00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:09,965 You don't even have to decide. 217 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,300 It just knows what you want, 218 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,429 and for all your other requests, 219 00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:15,545 - Janet? - Hi there. 220 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,057 Janet knows the answers 221 00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:21,060 to all the questions in the universe. 222 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:23,104 Ask her anything. 223 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:24,981 I mean, which answer do I want? 224 00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,275 I mean, something profound, obviously. 225 00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:29,444 It shouldn't be trivial or salacious. 226 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:32,864 Or maybe I should start small and maybe ramp up. 227 00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:36,075 Or... I can't... 228 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,870 - What's the biggest fish? - The whale shark. 229 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,997 Cool. I'm sorry. 230 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,331 I'll have better questions later. 231 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,124 You don't need to apologize, Chidi. 232 00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:46,377 All questions are equally important to me. 233 00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:49,464 Oh, well then you and I are gonna get along great. 234 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:53,008 I need to go welcome some more residents. 235 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:55,844 Are there any other questions I can answer for you before I go? 236 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:59,891 Well, yes. Is... is there a relationship equivalent 237 00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,309 to the oatmeal? 238 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:04,187 Uh, is there, like, a sort of... 239 00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:06,814 Soul mate? Yes. 240 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:11,069 Every person in the Good Place has one perfect match. 241 00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:12,612 In an hour, 242 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,863 come on by the little house that looks like a face 243 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:17,909 and get the answer to your ultimate question. 244 00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:19,952 Her name's Eleanor. 245 00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:32,256 Oh, man. Remember this? 246 00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:33,508 Yeah, yeah. 247 00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:35,474 - It was eight minutes ago. - Mm-hmm. 248 00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:39,347 So you just proposed to Janet, and you said yes. 249 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,889 - And now you're married. - Mm-hmm. 250 00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:42,599 You know, I thought saying that out loud 251 00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:45,144 would make it less insane, but it did not. 252 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,562 Thanks, homie. 253 00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,022 If you'd like to get us a present, 254 00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:49,732 we're registered at me. 255 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,735 Jason, I think I need your help. 256 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,236 - Can I ask you something? - Cool. 257 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,113 No one's ever asked me for advice before, 258 00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:57,448 and you're a high school principal. 259 00:10:57,532 --> 00:10:58,574 College professor. 260 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,827 Who... who told you how to do this? 261 00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,913 Like, how can you just make a decision this big? 262 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:07,416 Chidi, here's the thing with stuff. 263 00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,669 You can look at a problem from every angle 264 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,879 and drive yourself crazy, but sometimes, 265 00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,446 you just gotta huck a Molotov cocktail at a drone 266 00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,217 and see what happens. 267 00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,093 Is what happens that the drone blows up? 268 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,827 Usually. I mean, where I'm from, 269 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,521 most things blow up eventually, 270 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,766 so I learned that when something dope comes along, 271 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,434 you gotta lock it down. 272 00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:27,936 If you're always frozen in fear and taking too long 273 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,355 to think about what to do, 274 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,398 you'll miss your opportunity and maybe get sucked 275 00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:34,026 into the propeller of a swamp boat. 276 00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:36,028 I don't wanna see you get sucked 277 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,531 into the propeller of a swamp boat. 278 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,908 I mean, I do wanna see it happen to someone, 279 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:44,370 or, like, a cow, or, like, a bunch of watermelons. 280 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,622 But not you. 281 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,540 I just... I don't think I'll ever be 282 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:51,502 the kind of person who just acts. 283 00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:55,423 I mean, I can't just open a door and walk through 284 00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:58,301 without knowing what's on the other side. 285 00:11:58,467 --> 00:11:59,767 Even with eternity to try, 286 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:02,263 I just don't think that can happen. 287 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:04,932 Well, I never thought I'd ever be able to get married. 288 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,475 I thought I was too old. 289 00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:07,894 I'm infinity, 290 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,730 but strange things happen in the afterlife. 291 00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,236 We figured it out once. 292 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,279 We can do it again, 293 00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,323 because you know what, Michael? 294 00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:21,949 You're basic... 295 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:24,368 This is your soul mate, Salamasina. 296 00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:26,204 Meet your soul mate, Guan-yin. 297 00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:28,039 Tahani. Karen. 298 00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:29,289 Really? This is my soul mate. 299 00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:31,000 Yeah. His name's Socks. 300 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,210 I mean, I do like naps and staying indoors. 301 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:34,420 I guess I see it. 302 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,047 Could you... uh... ahh. 303 00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:39,634 Uh, but this doesn't feel like the answer 304 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,750 - I've been looking for. - Yeah, I know. 305 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,555 - Worth a shot. - A what? 306 00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,557 Esmerelda, you don't bring knives 307 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,976 to a friendly game night. I mean, who does that? 308 00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:50,978 The prepared. 309 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,855 Chidi, Esmerelda. 310 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,482 It's your turn. 311 00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:59,403 Blood. Seas of blood. 312 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:03,074 Enemies. Uh, 1,000 years of darkness. 313 00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:05,409 - Uh, nightmares. - Blood. 314 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:06,827 Ennui. 315 00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:08,954 Lamenting the unanswerable passage of time. 316 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,623 Fire and blood! 317 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,669 You fool! It was birthday parties. 318 00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:17,880 - Birthday parties? - These trivialities demean me. 319 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,840 I must away and tend to my ravens. 320 00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:23,761 Well... you never know 321 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,345 what'll happen at game night. 322 00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,723 Let's continue. 323 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,892 I think I can find you another partner. 324 00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:35,690 Tahani. Thank you so much. 325 00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:37,691 That ended up being one of the best nights 326 00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:38,984 I've had since we got here. 327 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,652 You and Eleanor made a good pair. 328 00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:42,738 She really tore through that round of charades. 329 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,032 Well, I'm pretty sure she was reading the cards 330 00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:46,366 off the reflection in my glasses, 331 00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:48,661 but yeah, that was amazing. 332 00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:53,499 - Um, can I ask you something? - Mm-hmm. 333 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,250 Tonight could have been a real disaster. 334 00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:58,337 How do you have the confidence to just swoop in 335 00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:02,758 and so elegantly take charge of a whole group of strangers? 336 00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:06,387 Honestly, the confidence comes from failure. 337 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:10,224 I've thrown my fair share of disastrous gatherings. 338 00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:11,683 Remind me to tell you someday 339 00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,435 about Timothée Chalamet's bar mitzvah. 340 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,604 But you live through the failure 341 00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,231 and you learn from it. 342 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,900 Yeah, I just... I can't operate that way. 343 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:23,404 I can't make a decision unless I'm sure I'm right. 344 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:24,655 Hey, Chidi, 345 00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:26,448 you're a philosophy professor, right? 346 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:29,660 Any chance you'd wanna grab a drink and talk about ethics? 347 00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,996 It's a subject I've recently needed 348 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,623 - to learn about immediately. - Sounds great. 349 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,375 - Uh, let me get my coat. - Awesome. 350 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,309 By the way, I wasn't cheating before. 351 00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:40,671 Or eavesdropping just now. 352 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,384 Whoo! When we started three months ago, 353 00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:47,053 I never thought I'd get 354 00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:49,619 so into philosophy that we'd study past midnight. 355 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,849 Esmerelda must be wondering where her soul mate is. 356 00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:54,893 Ah, no, she's off in her aviary. 357 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,527 Sometimes I think her ravens are her real soul mate. 358 00:14:57,646 --> 00:14:59,106 I'm not kidding. 359 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:00,649 Actually, you should see her with them. 360 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,484 It's intense, and if I'm being honest, 361 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,903 sexually charged. 362 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:07,865 Anyways, um, this has been fun as alway... 363 00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:14,663 Uh, what was... why did you... 364 00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:16,123 Who was it? 365 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,376 Okay. 366 00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:20,460 I'll take those one at a time, I guess. 367 00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:23,714 Um, it was a kiss, 368 00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,841 I did it because I wanted to, 369 00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:29,387 and as far as who it was, it was me, weirdo. 370 00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:32,056 Eleanor, I... I have a soul mate. 371 00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:35,059 Yeah, and you're not into her at all. 372 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,685 I mean, come on. 373 00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:39,355 There is no way you're supposed to spend eternity 374 00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,690 with a woman who sleeps in a giant nest. 375 00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:44,944 Look, I... I know she and I are in a rough patch, 376 00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,862 but we just have to find the answer 377 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,079 for how to get out of it, like my parents. 378 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,657 You remember that story I told you about my parents. 379 00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:51,867 Yeah, I don't think that story 380 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,869 is as cute as you think it is, man. 381 00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,914 I mean, I'm sure you were cute, you know? 382 00:15:57,081 --> 00:16:00,960 Big melon head and a little neck tie. 383 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,087 But that moment, woof. 384 00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:05,673 That's too much to put on an eight-year-old. 385 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:09,218 I kinda wish cute little Chidi just got to be a kid 386 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,035 rather than a miniature professor 387 00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:12,971 trying to solve all the world's problems. 388 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,182 Well, but 389 00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:17,643 living that way led me to philosophy, 390 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,604 and, sure, I was written up in a medical journal 391 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:23,315 as the youngest person ever with a stress-induced ulcer, 392 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:26,693 but I got into the Good Place, so if you don't mind, 393 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:29,447 I'm gonna take a second to think about what I owe 394 00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:33,367 my universe-approved soul mate and... and not just, 395 00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:36,203 uh, make out with you. 396 00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:38,080 Okay, man. 397 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,540 Kiss rescinded. 398 00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:43,293 We'll just study like two platonic nerds 399 00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:46,589 until Michael discovers me or until Esmerelda turns me 400 00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:48,507 into a toad with her magic amulet 401 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,217 because she can see 402 00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:53,262 that we're obviously into each other. 403 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:54,971 Oh, sorry you got 404 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:57,683 an actual human being instead of your true soul mate, 405 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,102 a library cart full of damp saltines. 406 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,854 You are unbelievable! 407 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,106 I don't know what I did 408 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:05,816 to deserve you. 409 00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:08,235 Believe it, baby. I'm all yours. 410 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:11,572 At least until something better comes along. 411 00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:12,781 For me. 412 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,742 You've pretty much topped out. 413 00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:16,368 - You okay? - No. 414 00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:18,495 I have to give Michael a new draft of my thesis 415 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,164 and I'm a mess. 416 00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:21,631 - Will you help me? - Woof! 417 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,399 You want my help with philosophy? 418 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,085 You must be in rough shape. 419 00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:26,962 I mean, yes, of course. 420 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:29,089 I'm here for you. What do you need? 421 00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:32,468 I need someone to help guide me, 422 00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:33,802 morally speaking, 423 00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:37,973 and I think I need it to be you. 424 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:41,017 There's a real possibility that I'm in love with you again, 425 00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:43,979 here on this plane of existence, 426 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,856 uh, today, now. 427 00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:51,278 We found each other before, hundreds of times. 428 00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:54,448 We can do it again. 429 00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,287 Bye, Chidi. 430 00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:04,916 You're sure you want to do this? 431 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,085 I finally make up my mind about one damn thing, 432 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:09,964 and you try to talk me out of it? 433 00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:11,882 I'm sure. 434 00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,970 Can I ask you a question? 435 00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:20,140 Soul mates aren't real, are they? 436 00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:23,018 Chidi, in all honesty, I don't know, 437 00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:25,061 but I don't think so. 438 00:18:25,145 --> 00:18:28,274 I knew what you expected to find when you got here: 439 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,317 Answers. 440 00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,152 Also, if I recall from your file, 441 00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:33,988 a magic blackboard? 442 00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:35,864 One that anticipates your lesson flow. 443 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,700 That's the dream. 444 00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:39,660 But mostly you wanted answers. 445 00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,455 The soul mate one, in particular. 446 00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:47,084 So, I used it to torture you, 447 00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:50,588 which, again, sorry. 448 00:18:50,754 --> 00:18:54,842 If soul mates do exist, they're not found. 449 00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:56,218 They're made. 450 00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,929 People meet, they get a good feeling, 451 00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:02,099 and then they get to work building a relationship, 452 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:05,311 then with enough time and love and effort, 453 00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:08,647 two people become one thing, 454 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,608 like your parents. 455 00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:12,901 They didn't magically stay together 456 00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:15,112 because you proved they should. 457 00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:20,492 It wasn't my logic or my representation. 458 00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:24,663 It was the feeling they got watching me... 459 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:29,251 This scared little kid telling them that he needed them. 460 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:31,629 It was also what you made them remember. 461 00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,213 You know, they loved each other. 462 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,090 Sometimes people forget. 463 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,760 You reminded them of what they already had. 464 00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:40,137 It convinced them to go to counseling. 465 00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:41,763 I never knew they went to counseling. 466 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,432 Yeah, kids are idiots. 467 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,350 If they knew half the stuff their folks were up to, 468 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:48,228 they'd lose their minds. 469 00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:50,272 Turns out life isn't a puzzle 470 00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:53,192 that can just be solved one time 471 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,903 and... and it's done. 472 00:19:56,070 --> 00:20:00,324 You wake up every day and you solve it again. 473 00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:02,660 Terribly inefficient. 474 00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:07,998 Wow, what a time to learn. 475 00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,003 Can you give me a second? 476 00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:25,683 - Janet? - Hi there. 477 00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:27,476 Hi. 478 00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,062 Uh, can I have, uh, a pen and some paper? 479 00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:37,444 I don't know if I'll see you again, 480 00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:41,198 or what I'll remember if I do, 481 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,659 but if we do cross paths again... 482 00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:47,413 Sometime, somewhere... 483 00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:52,543 - Can you give this back to me? - Of course. 484 00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:03,429 I'm ready. 485 00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:14,398 Hi there, Chidi. 486 00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:17,901 Welcome back. 487 00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:23,365 Is he all right? Did you break him? 488 00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:25,826 Hey, buddy. How you doing? 489 00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:29,246 Man, I'm doing great. 490 00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:34,042 Hey, so, for the past 300 years, 491 00:21:34,209 --> 00:21:36,837 have I been super annoying? 492 00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:38,338 - Oh, no... - No, no. 493 00:21:38,505 --> 00:21:39,589 - I wouldn't say extremely. - Not super. 494 00:21:39,673 --> 00:21:41,008 - No, no. - Yes. 495 00:21:41,175 --> 00:21:42,760 Well, thank you, all of you, 496 00:21:42,926 --> 00:21:44,219 for everything that you've done for me. 497 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,180 You are wonderful people. 498 00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:47,681 Yeah, man, that's great, but, um, 499 00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:50,267 listen, we have, like, one hour to create 500 00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:52,102 an entirely new afterlife, 501 00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:54,062 and, uh, also save all of humanity 502 00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:56,856 and we were wondering if you could do your Chidi thing 503 00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:59,318 and, um, find us the answer? 504 00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:01,486 Oh, well, Eleanor, this kind of thing 505 00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:03,655 doesn't have just one answer. 506 00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:05,699 There might be 800. 507 00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:07,916 There could be zero. Who knows, you know? 508 00:22:08,076 --> 00:22:10,370 The journey is the destination, right? 509 00:22:10,537 --> 00:22:12,414 Let's get to work. Can you give me one second? 510 00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:13,916 - Uh... - One second. 511 00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:17,127 Hey, uh, Janet, can I have my note, please? 512 00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:19,046 If you know that you wrote a note 513 00:22:19,213 --> 00:22:20,798 then you know what it says. 514 00:22:20,964 --> 00:22:25,344 I do, uh, but I'd still like to see it again, please. 515 00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:28,680 I think it might be some of the best writing I've ever done.