1 00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:44,855 No, you cannot graft the thumbs of a dead orc onto your paws 2 00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:46,249 just so you can hold a sword. 3 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:50,110 Is it not conceivable that I would have at least a half thumb 4 00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:52,571 from my grandmother' s recessive gene? 5 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:55,073 Tygraxamus, you can't have a sword. 6 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:58,660 This is stupid. Weak. Guys, this bickering 7 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,513 is totally ruining my suspension of disbelf. 8 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:03,790 I mean, you lure me into a barnyard of the coveted brain juice 9 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:07,419 justto corner me with these bloodsucking bovine. 10 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:10,756 And your problem is? 11 00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:11,423 I hate it. 12 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:14,926 Spontaneously growing appendages in the middle of the campaign 13 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:16,928 disrupts my story's delicate balance. 14 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:18,847 Frickin' puss 'n boots carries a sword. 15 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,224 I warned you months ago the ills of selecting 16 00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:24,394 a feline digitagrade as your character. 17 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:29,441 You're killin'the game, shadow hawk. Clancy, I'll protect you. 18 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:31,526 We're eatin'veal tonight. Who's with me? 19 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,987 I'd follow you anywhere, my liege. Epic. 20 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,865 With the song of old, I, magmald teufelschlager, 21 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,992 will protect you from their mind control. 22 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,286 Sing with me. Aah—... 23 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:44,706 Voss, you can't do that. I can't do what? 24 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,375 Sing. you have no vocal cords. 25 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:50,170 I'm a bardladin, okay? Slaying and singing is what I do. 26 00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:53,548 You are a wandering phantom trapped in the astral plane. 27 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:58,428 You cut the umbilical cord that tethered your soul to the mortal world. 28 00:02:58,720 --> 00:02:59,906 Your body is back at the Glen. 29 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:04,893 I didn't cut my cord. Pat, did I cut my cord? No cords were cut. 30 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,854 You tried sharpening your sword on it. 31 00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,146 No, I wasn't. 32 00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:10,524 Yes. No. 33 00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:11,274 Yes. No. 34 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,276 Yep. Yep. No, there was no sharpening. 35 00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:16,863 Yep. Yep. You're having a senior moment! 36 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,282 Personal attacks. Very mature. 37 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,910 Every time magmald defies one of your lame monsters, 38 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,554 your reap vengeance on a member of the guild. 39 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:26,540 And you're creating monsters that don't even exist in the known universe. 40 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,458 Release moon—strider from the pale Ruby. 41 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,310 Let me come down from the astral plane. 42 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:32,337 Give tygraxamus some thumbs! Yeah! 43 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,715 May I remind you, it's "d—— of——d" 44 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:38,260 "dawn of days" —— my game, my creation! 45 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,886 If you don't like it, voss, 46 00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:41,847 why don't you go join another guild? 47 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,266 But stop picking apart my narrative 48 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,852 in some desperate attempt for attention! 49 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:49,062 Yaahhh! 50 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,076 Three hundred dollars? 51 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:07,164 Come on, Gary, I can get a couple of pristine plastic tables for 20 bucks. 52 00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:09,249 Mr. Gary says this is for punitive damages 53 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:13,378 for the other times you popped your lid and scared customers away. 54 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,756 Personally, ithink it' s pretty gracious 55 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,191 considering he could press charges. 56 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:21,303 Why does he have my sword? To ensure that Mr. Gary is paid in full. 57 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,513 Or you could take a ride. 58 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,057 Oh, that sucks. 59 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:30,228 What's worse is he's never gonna last in prison, 60 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,314 not with a pretty face like that. 61 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,526 Oh, that's pat—pat. I gotta go. 62 00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:40,238 I'll talk to you later. I'll think positive. Tell me what happens. 63 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:41,530 Oh! 64 00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:44,493 You've been wearing my magnets. I can tell. 65 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:45,825 Your complexion is less... 66 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,830 Oi ly. 67 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:51,541 Admit it. The therapy works. 68 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:56,254 Uh, yeah. Thanks for... Letting me use them. 69 00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,007 Oh, stay your hand. 70 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,675 Have you tried sleeping with them? 71 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:05,263 I find my dreams change color depending on where I place them. 72 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,854 I'm leaving. 73 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,898 Voss. 74 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:21,321 My freak in 'hard drive. Oh! 75 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,907 Oh, man! 76 00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,871 So, how was working with your brother? 77 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,667 I don't know. Maybe it's coming from the gaming industry 78 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:37,504 to, uh, food service, but I can't do it. 79 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,464 You know, they don't even have benefits? 80 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,801 You're gonna have to get a job at some point, right? 81 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,573 You can come work at digicert with me. 82 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:50,016 Oh, no, actually, I have my interview with warlocks of the beach, so 83 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,185 warlocks of the—— of the beach? 84 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:55,105 Yeah, that's the one that's gonna take you to Seattle? 85 00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:58,233 Yeah. And that's—— this is a good thing. 86 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,285 This is great... for you. This is your dream. 87 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,864 Yeah. I'm gonna sell ' em on my new ideas for that gaming scenario. 88 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:07,492 I figure it' stime for me to move up, so... 89 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,036 And that's it. Oh—... 90 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,913 Um, I'll see ya tomorrow. 91 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,374 You know what? Actually, um, 92 00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,293 I have some good news of my own. 93 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:19,963 Did you know that I've been dating someone online? 94 00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:20,922 Yeah, I remember. 95 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,758 Oh.you—— you do. Okay, well... 96 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,845 I wanted to show you. 97 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,598 His name is tanick stormblade. 98 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:33,602 He's a rogue, huh? Those are sweet heroic shoulder pads. 99 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,897 Yeah, when we melee together, it's like we've done so in a former life. 100 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:41,276 As you can imagine, our relationship is very special, 101 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:44,154 and so after months of online courtship, 102 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,281 I feel his intentions are noble... 103 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:49,492 And so tomorrow we're meeting for hoagies. 104 00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,953 Sweet. Be careful. 105 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,245 I—— I will. 106 00:06:53,455 --> 00:06:55,582 But if he does the same thing Samantha did... 107 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,419 You and Samantha broke up? 108 00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:04,674 Yeah. She said she wanted somebody more responsible. 109 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:10,972 I am—— I' m so sorry about that. 110 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,475 I—— I' m so sorry... to hear that. 111 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:17,312 Let's—— do you want to talk about this? Nope. 112 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,815 But hey, if tanick hurts you, let me know, 113 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:25,320 I'll find his character online and kick its ass. 114 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:31,826 Thank you... voss. 115 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:39,334 The most important lesson in life 116 00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,253 is that you are what you pretend to be. 117 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,882 Did you pull that out of a fortune cookie? 118 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:48,718 It's the secret to surviving this world. 119 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,262 You want to be a knight, pretend you're a knight 120 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,599 and live bytheir code and think like one. 121 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:57,352 And in the end, you are——a knight. 122 00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:01,481 "Well, I'm just tired of wasting my life, 123 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:02,482 not being productive. 124 00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:08,613 Ya know, I could be outthere just, like, doing... 125 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:46,859 "Oh, hey. Where'svoss?" 126 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:50,572 He's not—— iwill break your liver. 127 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:10,258 You didn't show up atthetaco shop. 128 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,553 Aaah! Clancy! 129 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:18,975 You said that your unemployment would help me pay the rent... 130 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:22,312 Ow!!!! And then you told me that you'd have a job, 131 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:25,899 what was that, five, six months ago? 132 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:27,191 Ow! Ow! 133 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,611 I'm sensing a pattern here. I don't like it. 134 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:33,656 Ow! I have my meeting with warlocks of the beach, right?! 135 00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,426 I'm not going smelling like a fish taco! 136 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:39,579 Now, this is a new choke hold I learned tonight from Jackson the mighty. 137 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:42,874 It's a ballet of violence, brother... 138 00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,417 A ballet of violence. 139 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,921 Unh! Plie... sashay... 140 00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,839 I have my interview tomorrow! 141 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,549 You tellin' me the truth? Yeah? 142 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:55,428 'Cause if you're lying, then you're out of here, bro. 143 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,056 Why don't you choke Clancy anymore? 144 00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:03,311 Because Clancy participates, helps me paythe rent. 145 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,605 And look at him... 146 00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:08,858 Ha! Can't handle my rhythm. 147 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,611 Right, clance? Yeah. 148 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,572 Yeah... yeah. 149 00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,366 Pan sy. 150 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,618 I held out for twice that long. 151 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,703 Tapping is for suckers. 152 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:23,665 What'd you guys eat? Bok choy. 153 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,168 Bok choy? 154 00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,922 Hey. Hey, bro. 155 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,133 Hey. 156 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,676 Hey. 157 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,678 Hey. Hey. 158 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,013 Hey, there he is. 159 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:43,893 Hey... do you feel all tingly? 160 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,228 Uh—huh. 161 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:46,771 I love that. 162 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,403 Yah! Yah! 163 00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,030 Yah! 164 00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,578 Thanks. 165 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:25,143 I have to tell you something serious. 166 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,443 I haven't been honest... 167 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,862 About my feelings. 168 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:45,705 I'm in love with someone else. 169 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,044 Very——real. 170 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,887 Okay. Um, I'm sorry 171 00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:03,056 thati led you on 172 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:07,393 atthetavern of the green dragon. 173 00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:12,065 It's not you. It's me. 174 00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:15,276 We can still... fight together, 175 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:19,280 just... not as often. 176 00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:25,036 Tanick.tanick. 177 00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:27,288 Tanick? 178 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,624 Ohh! Yah! 179 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:32,168 Tanick? 180 00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,423 Tanick? 181 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,229 I'm an awful person. 182 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,276 Hi. 183 00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,279 What's wrong? 184 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:01,990 I want to create a love interest for rashan na 185 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,884 to experience for the duration of this campaign, 186 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:07,495 and I really like the idea of her falling in love with your character. 187 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,014 And I've already created a backstory 188 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:12,500 how she lost her husband to a freak white dragon accident 189 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,585 and is now in tremendous mental turmoil 190 00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,629 because of her sudden rebound, 191 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:17,921 so she's very vulnerable 192 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:21,676 and she needs somebody to protect her. 193 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:24,721 But magmald went celibate. 194 00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:27,974 We can work around that. 195 00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,648 Handwritten resume. 196 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:38,818 Never seen one in calligraphy. 197 00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:40,945 Thanks. 198 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:46,367 You realize this job requires you to move to our headquarters in Seattle? 199 00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:49,096 I' m not at Liberty to tell you too much aboutthe project 200 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,248 other than it', s an a.R.G., alternative reality game, 201 00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:55,126 a blend of online and offline gaming. 202 00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:56,418 Epic. 203 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,005 The game director position is not gonna be an easy one. 204 00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:01,883 You are gonna have to manage a team of over 15 people 205 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:05,636 and... I'm not seeing anything on your resume 206 00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:10,308 look, I'm, uh, I'm the leader of a—— of a guild. 207 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,643 My main character actually has a full set 208 00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,395 of fifth tier heroic level— yeah. 209 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,065 I've also spent more than 3900 hours—... 210 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,709 Look I've seen over 50 people for this position, 211 00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:21,694 and they're all saying the same thing over and over again. 212 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,280 If you want this job, 213 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,115 you need to stand out and prove to me 214 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:28,743 that you're the complete package. 215 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,787 Gamer? Yeah. 216 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,830 Leader...? 217 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:36,792 I can lead people, sir. 218 00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:39,712 Look, I'm not gonna make a decision for another week. 219 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,066 Can you put together something in the next day or two 220 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:44,759 that will prove to me that you can lead people? 221 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,637 Yeah. 222 00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:51,182 I look forward to seeing what you bring back. 223 00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:53,351 Me too. 224 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,318 Why can', t I do that? 225 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:05,571 It doesn't make any sense. Why can't I go through the high plains pass? 226 00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:10,743 Voss, it's your brother! You were supposed to be here 17 minutes ago! Where are——you? 227 00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,475 If you are not here in five minutes, 228 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:15,081 I swear to you I am doubling your rent, 229 00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:16,933 and if I see you, I will choke you out! 230 00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:20,628 It wasn't snowing. What the hell are you talkin' about?! 231 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,296 You said it was fall, not winter! 232 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,882 Well, let's see. Theturtlebuds haven't bloomed yet, 233 00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,634 all the rabbits have gone south, 234 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,086 as well as the plains wolves, 235 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:30,097 which is the only food source for the beast lord. 236 00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:33,683 So that would make it, ithink——uh, yeah——winter. 237 00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,101 Bullcrap. 238 00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:36,393 Right? 239 00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:38,688 Right? Am I right? Hi. 240 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:39,981 Right? Right? Yeah! 241 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,959 Come on, fantasy pants, what are you gonna change now? 242 00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:46,237 I'm incredibly unsatisfied with the particular inconsistencies of this game. 243 00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:48,114 I'm just sayin'. 244 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,619 I have avote I'd like to bring beforethe guild. 245 00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:56,497 I have a lot of friends that would like to join this game, 246 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,167 but unfortunately, it sucks three things: 247 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:00,793 Turkey balls, troll, and ass. 248 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:04,213 I would like to propose that I become the new game master 249 00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,090 and manage the rest of this campaign. 250 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:07,609 I can promise you by next Friday 251 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:09,927 we'll have at least a dozen new people involved. 252 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:11,512 That includes healers. 253 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,264 Who agrees? 254 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:17,435 It's settled, then. I'll run the guild this week. 255 00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,645 This is my——campaign. 256 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,606 No, it's not! We took a vote! 257 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:22,898 Voss! 258 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:28,571 It's the role—playing. My character's a barbarian, 259 00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:30,323 has some control issues. 260 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,703 Well... 261 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:39,707 I think I could give it a go under one condition: 262 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,168 That you... 263 00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:50,176 Destroy... the beast lord. 264 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:03,773 Bring it, weak sauce. 265 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:07,151 And if you lose, magmald dies, 266 00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:08,069 never to be resurrected, 267 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:12,448 and you——have to leave the guild forever. 268 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,784 Don't do it. Don't do it. 269 00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,119 Don't ——do it. Let's do it. 270 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:24,502 I cast righteous indignation. 271 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:27,713 That's a 15—foot barrier of protection against projectiles. 272 00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,550 I'll also be drinking my potion of bull strength. 273 00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:33,928 Don't forget fire. Resistance to fire. 274 00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:41,435 Ah ah ah ah ah... I come down from the astral plane—... 275 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,187 Which iwas never in—... 276 00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,400 And raise my sword to heronius, 277 00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:50,027 adding plus—three to my hit and damage. 278 00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,446 Well... 279 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,074 That's... pretty hot stuff. 280 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:58,077 Why don't you roll a saving throw 281 00:17:58,369 --> 00:18:02,081 against the beast lord's psyonic death stare, while you're at it? 282 00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:05,668 Come on, man! When did the beast lord get psyonics?! 283 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,505 When he was a baby beast lord? 284 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,844 Whatever. Let's do this. 285 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,102 A critical failure. 286 00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:30,109 Unless you roll something greater than eight, you will die. 287 00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:33,779 Thank you. 288 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:40,161 "Five, five, five, five, five." 289 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:05,728 Well... the dice don't lie. 290 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,488 It's just a game. 291 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:31,671 What, your Pegasus get ringworm? 292 00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:34,131 Have to be put down? 293 00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:36,342 Shut up. 294 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:10,376 Boronius! 295 00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:25,391 Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhmq 296 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:33,065 aaaaaahhh..., 297 00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:39,965 I was born in the wrong universe. 298 00:21:54,605 --> 00:21:57,149 Phhht. That... 299 00:21:57,441 --> 00:21:59,652 Was horrible. 300 00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:05,241 This is a play about forbidden love. 301 00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:08,410 It's in the words. 302 00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:11,997 Feel it in your loins. 303 00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:12,665 Yes, sir. 304 00:22:12,957 --> 00:22:15,501 Let's try again, shall we? Yes, sir. 305 00:22:15,793 --> 00:22:19,129 Okay. Places. Okay, yeah. 306 00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:23,591 Action. 307 00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:31,600 Unh! 308 00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:34,520 Four ages shall pass... 309 00:22:34,812 --> 00:22:36,647 But I will be patient... 310 00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:38,482 Hoping for the day 311 00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:42,152 when I shall again see you face—to—face... 312 00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:45,322 My darling little Sushi roll. 313 00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:46,614 Our love shall be 314 00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:49,451 like a disgraced samurai... yes? What? 315 00:22:49,743 --> 00:22:52,705 Impaled with his own sword. Oh. 316 00:22:52,997 --> 00:22:54,957 Well—— everyone out. 317 00:22:55,249 --> 00:22:56,458 Off the stage! Let' s go. 318 00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:03,048 Hmm. 319 00:23:04,967 --> 00:23:05,342 Hello. 320 00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:07,386 Of all the invitations I've given you, 321 00:23:07,678 --> 00:23:10,139 for what reason do you grace this pleasant stage? 322 00:23:10,431 --> 00:23:11,765 After we find the brain juice, 323 00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:14,602 what if rashan na goes to the hills of monyar 324 00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:17,313 and finds a rod of resurrection to bring magmald back? 325 00:23:17,605 --> 00:23:20,149 That would divert too much attention from the narrative. 326 00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:23,569 More importantthan voss' tattered ego 327 00:23:23,861 --> 00:23:26,280 is that you've come to see my play. 328 00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:28,782 It's an unlikely love story 329 00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:30,367 about a woman... 330 00:23:31,035 --> 00:23:33,412 Who loves——a man. 331 00:23:34,038 --> 00:23:37,625 Is there—— is there anything that the guild can do for voss? 332 00:23:38,542 --> 00:23:43,589 The only ointment for someone feeling sorry for themselves, my darling, 333 00:23:43,881 --> 00:23:48,093 is to help them realize thatthey suck. 334 00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:03,567 Morning, sunshine. What happened with that interview? 335 00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:06,904 It's really close between me and one other guy. 336 00:24:07,196 --> 00:24:12,034 I got you set up Monday morning. Taco shop. Be there. 337 00:24:15,579 --> 00:24:17,414 It's Marsha. 338 00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:20,125 Sorry. 339 00:24:25,631 --> 00:24:30,135 Hey, Marsha. Would you like to come over for breakfast chicken? 340 00:24:33,097 --> 00:24:35,015 Hello. 341 00:24:37,059 --> 00:24:40,062 I made you something. 342 00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:45,192 It's a cape, and, uh, it has flannel on the inside 343 00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:48,904 so it can double as a blanket and keep you warm. 344 00:24:49,196 --> 00:24:51,240 Oh.thank you, Marsha. 345 00:24:51,532 --> 00:24:53,200 Absolutely. 346 00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:58,747 Oh, wow. 347 00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:01,542 Clancy. 348 00:25:01,834 --> 00:25:02,376 H e's... total—... 349 00:25:02,668 --> 00:25:06,630 He's here. This is so unexpectedly awesome. 350 00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:08,841 This is so great. 351 00:25:09,133 --> 00:25:11,844 That's a pretty dress. Thanks. 352 00:25:19,018 --> 00:25:20,477 Mmm. 353 00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:28,837 I think that we should start our very own campaign. 354 00:26:29,129 --> 00:26:32,633 Um, I was mulling some story points around justthis morning. 355 00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:35,219 Uh, listen: "A wicked hobgoblin king 356 00:26:35,511 --> 00:26:37,221 "enslaves avillage of egg—laying gnomes, 357 00:26:37,513 --> 00:26:40,265 "forcing them to hard labor and into the swamps." 358 00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:44,061 I mean, I could see our combined sacrifice to save them 359 00:26:44,353 --> 00:26:48,107 as being just shy of legendary. 360 00:26:48,398 --> 00:26:50,109 And also, th e... 361 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:54,154 Love interest idea, which I mentioned the other day, 362 00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:56,532 between magmald and rashanna... 363 00:26:56,824 --> 00:26:59,743 Could easily be folded into this plot line, 364 00:27:00,035 --> 00:27:01,411 which ithink is necessary. 365 00:27:01,703 --> 00:27:06,458 I don't get what a surface—dwelling hobgoblin has to do with the svirfneblin. 366 00:27:06,750 --> 00:27:08,168 I'm glad you said something. 367 00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:10,963 I think Clancy's just trying to say that 368 00:27:11,255 --> 00:27:14,424 you can't up and willy—nilly a campaign together. 369 00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:15,425 I know. I mean, right. 370 00:27:15,717 --> 00:27:17,010 I—— I guess I was justthinking 371 00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:20,055 thatthe entire guild would abandon shadow hawk if—... 372 00:27:20,347 --> 00:27:24,393 If they knew that you were creating your own new guild. 373 00:27:25,018 --> 00:27:26,996 I mean, they' ve always trusted your leadership in the game, 374 00:27:27,020 --> 00:27:29,064 so why wouldn tthey trust you in real life? 375 00:27:29,356 --> 00:27:31,108 But that's stupid. 376 00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:58,217 What? 377 00:27:58,343 --> 00:28:00,512 Do you need the heimlich? 378 00:28:28,207 --> 00:28:29,958 Magmald. 379 00:28:39,843 --> 00:28:43,055 "Yeah. Uh—huh, yeah. Yeah? Okay!" 380 00:28:43,347 --> 00:28:44,347 Explain. 381 00:28:44,556 --> 00:28:47,559 I figured out how I'm gonna get the job at warlock. 382 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,146 Oh. I'm gonna create a land of magic and wonder. 383 00:28:51,438 --> 00:28:55,317 I'm gonna show 'em how I can handle a group of six or... 384 00:28:55,609 --> 00:29:00,989 Sixteen people in an out—of—th e—box kind of way. 385 00:29:01,281 --> 00:29:01,698 Awesome! 386 00:29:01,990 --> 00:29:03,470 And I need you to document everything. 387 00:29:03,533 --> 00:29:05,744 I need you to take notes and—— And film—... 388 00:29:06,036 --> 00:29:07,556 O—okay. I'll getthe guild on the phone, 389 00:29:07,704 --> 00:29:09,456 I'll tell 'em exactly what we're doing. 390 00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:10,908 I love that. No, I hate that. 391 00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:13,001 Because they can't know I'm doing it for a job, 392 00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:14,920 they won't be themselves. Oh, right. 393 00:29:15,212 --> 00:29:19,508 So I have to tell them... What, then? 394 00:29:21,718 --> 00:29:25,055 I' m creating a utopia for gamers. 395 00:29:25,347 --> 00:29:27,432 Oh, I love——that. 396 00:29:27,724 --> 00:29:29,893 Excellent. Call the guild. 397 00:29:30,185 --> 00:29:31,603 Yeah. 398 00:29:37,567 --> 00:29:39,528 What up, doc?—— hold for voss. 399 00:29:39,820 --> 00:29:42,572 Oh, hey, marsh. What's up? 400 00:29:42,864 --> 00:29:44,283 Patty melt! What's up, buddy? 401 00:29:44,574 --> 00:29:46,414 Angie and I are just biting into frozen yogurt. 402 00:29:46,618 --> 00:29:52,082 Uh, yeah, I need you to meet me at the corner of state and fourth 403 00:29:52,374 --> 00:29:54,251 with your tent, your gear, and Angie. 404 00:29:54,543 --> 00:29:58,797 Why? What for, man?—— just do it! Doesn't matter why. 405 00:30:00,382 --> 00:30:03,260 Why didn't you guys wait for me? 406 00:30:08,682 --> 00:30:10,684 Waffle and wok, this is rhubarb. Rhubarb... 407 00:30:10,976 --> 00:30:15,397 I got somethin' big, something epic going on, ginormous. I'm gonna need you. 408 00:30:15,689 --> 00:30:17,524 What's goin' down? 409 00:30:18,442 --> 00:30:21,737 Hello? Dude, I can't play on the phone. 410 00:30:23,238 --> 00:30:24,238 I don't want to! 411 00:30:24,656 --> 00:30:28,702 And I got customers. Who is that? 412 00:30:29,578 --> 00:30:30,787 Who's with you? 413 00:30:31,079 --> 00:30:32,079 You're breakin' up. 414 00:30:32,247 --> 00:30:34,367 No, uh, I distinctly heard somebody in the background. 415 00:30:34,458 --> 00:30:36,710 Come again? It's shadow hawk, isn't it? 416 00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:38,002 You got a crappy phone. 417 00:30:38,128 --> 00:30:39,171 You're hanging——— hello? 418 00:30:39,463 --> 00:30:40,463 I'm losing you, man. 419 00:30:40,630 --> 00:30:43,800 Well, he's not invited, so ditch him. 420 00:30:46,428 --> 00:30:48,138 No, really. 421 00:30:48,430 --> 00:30:49,430 Who is that? 422 00:30:49,514 --> 00:30:53,393 I totally forgot I volu nteered to help this old lady 423 00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:57,230 who lost some toes in a battle... 424 00:30:57,522 --> 00:30:59,524 With diabetes? 425 00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:01,818 It's sad. 426 00:31:05,197 --> 00:31:08,158 I gotta go. Text me. 427 00:31:15,624 --> 00:31:17,125 Ohh! 428 00:32:06,508 --> 00:32:10,387 I'm gonna change and get my stuff, okay? 429 00:32:12,806 --> 00:32:13,265 Check it. 430 00:32:13,557 --> 00:32:18,270 It sought me out. It's my holy avenger. 431 00:32:21,690 --> 00:32:23,483 Open the back. 432 00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:25,110 Do it. 433 00:32:53,096 --> 00:32:54,931 Dude, where's Clancy going? 434 00:32:55,223 --> 00:32:56,284 And where's your outfit, man? 435 00:32:56,308 --> 00:32:59,936 Don't worry about it, pat man. I'm taking care of business. 436 00:33:00,270 --> 00:33:04,691 Mom, wants me back by seven. Where we're goin' you don't need a mom. 437 00:33:05,150 --> 00:33:08,904 Sweet. You gettin'this? 438 00:33:09,988 --> 00:33:11,490 Wait. Wait. 439 00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:16,411 Slow pan, into the zoom, a single... 440 00:33:48,318 --> 00:33:50,278 You have just entered a new realm. 441 00:33:50,612 --> 00:33:54,282 You are now quite literally your characters. 442 00:33:55,325 --> 00:33:57,536 You will act like your characters, 443 00:33:57,827 --> 00:34:00,247 you will be your characters. 444 00:34:00,747 --> 00:34:05,544 And through them, we shall create a utopia. 445 00:34:08,296 --> 00:34:09,714 You are now in unk—tar town, 446 00:34:10,006 --> 00:34:14,135 a small fishing village on the shores of the deserted sea. 447 00:34:14,427 --> 00:34:18,974 Carrion birds circle above... 448 00:34:19,266 --> 00:34:21,393 And then we look down. 449 00:34:21,685 --> 00:34:25,146 We are standing among what appears to be 450 00:34:25,438 --> 00:34:26,481 two dozen human remains. 451 00:34:26,773 --> 00:34:30,318 Their intestines scatterd, holes in their skulls, 452 00:34:31,319 --> 00:34:35,115 and black scarring on their faces. 453 00:34:35,407 --> 00:34:38,785 Infamous skull ciphers. 454 00:34:40,662 --> 00:34:43,331 Yahhh!!! 455 00:34:46,167 --> 00:34:47,877 Yahhh! 456 00:34:48,169 --> 00:34:49,588 Yahhh! 457 00:34:51,506 --> 00:34:53,758 Now. 458 00:35:01,308 --> 00:35:03,435 Ohh! Whoa! 459 00:35:07,689 --> 00:35:09,316 Whoa. 460 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:11,818 Arm you rselves! 461 00:35:12,110 --> 00:35:13,361 Form up! 462 00:35:22,621 --> 00:35:25,081 You primordial maggot pukes! 463 00:35:25,582 --> 00:35:30,086 It was foolish of you to think you can claim my spoils. 464 00:35:31,504 --> 00:35:34,633 Now I shall devour you! 465 00:35:38,637 --> 00:35:42,432 Charge!!! 466 00:35:50,023 --> 00:35:54,235 I'm hit! Heal me! Heal me! 467 00:35:56,738 --> 00:36:01,076 Come on, get in there! Kill! Kill! 468 00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:04,496 Come on, everybody! Focus! Whoo! 469 00:36:04,788 --> 00:36:09,334 Insolent wimps, all of you! 470 00:36:12,879 --> 00:36:16,383 Ohh! Crap! Hell's spawn. 471 00:36:17,092 --> 00:36:19,135 Split up! 472 00:36:19,427 --> 00:36:21,513 That's it! Together now! 473 00:36:21,805 --> 00:36:23,348 Dang it. 474 00:36:23,807 --> 00:36:25,016 Hyahh! 475 00:36:25,809 --> 00:36:27,769 Go for the lips. 476 00:36:28,353 --> 00:36:29,771 Aaah! 477 00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:32,899 That's acid! 478 00:36:33,191 --> 00:36:34,484 No! No!!! 479 00:36:34,776 --> 00:36:38,154 Oh, take 40 acid damage, Marsha. 480 00:36:42,242 --> 00:36:44,703 Everybody fall back! 481 00:36:45,954 --> 00:36:47,622 Launch the magic missile! 482 00:36:47,914 --> 00:36:49,874 Magic missile—— not yet! 483 00:36:50,834 --> 00:36:53,628 Now! Magic missile! 484 00:37:09,644 --> 00:37:13,106 We are no longer heroes of the imagination. 485 00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:15,900 We are taking this adventure to the next level. 486 00:37:16,276 --> 00:37:18,194 Tell everyone you know 487 00:37:19,529 --> 00:37:24,117 and welcome... to unicorn city. 488 00:37:32,751 --> 00:37:36,296 This is it. This is everybody we know? 489 00:37:36,588 --> 00:37:38,506 Where's Gary and Trevor? 490 00:37:38,882 --> 00:37:40,633 Um, well, Gary had jury duty, 491 00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:45,305 and Trevor's mom said that our camp is satanic. 492 00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:49,517 Whatever. 493 00:37:52,437 --> 00:37:54,647 Hold, please. 494 00:37:55,732 --> 00:37:59,444 Next. Name and former life? 495 00:37:59,778 --> 00:38:04,491 Hi. My name is Kathy. I work in whole foods. 496 00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:06,284 My character's name is tearsumina, 497 00:38:06,701 --> 00:38:09,496 and my powers are somewhere in the field of seduction. 498 00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:15,919 A succubus, huh? 499 00:38:16,628 --> 00:38:21,216 Should we be inviting evil into the camp? 500 00:38:26,054 --> 00:38:27,889 Welcome. 501 00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,727 Hold. 502 00:39:18,940 --> 00:39:21,359 Once you go centaur... 503 00:39:21,651 --> 00:39:23,695 Yeah, we know. 504 00:39:45,550 --> 00:39:47,594 Aah. 505 00:39:51,639 --> 00:39:54,017 Whattook you so long? Nice map, ace. 506 00:39:57,979 --> 00:40:02,191 Someone followed me. Shadow hawk. 507 00:40:03,484 --> 00:40:06,571 A—n—t, baby, a—n—t. 508 00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:08,573 Ant? 509 00:40:09,574 --> 00:40:13,286 Ain't nothing. Circled back, lost him in, like, women's apparel 510 00:40:13,578 --> 00:40:16,289 or canned foods. 511 00:40:18,958 --> 00:40:21,210 You gotta trust the Ruby, baby. 512 00:40:22,378 --> 00:40:24,213 So what's the haps out here? 513 00:40:24,505 --> 00:40:26,799 We gonna party or what? 514 00:40:35,808 --> 00:40:37,852 Congregate, get tog eth er, 515 00:40:38,144 --> 00:40:40,021 gather up. 516 00:40:40,313 --> 00:40:41,313 Everyon e's tog eth er, 517 00:40:41,856 --> 00:40:45,735 but I've already received eight complaints about clodnar's codpiece. 518 00:40:47,070 --> 00:40:50,073 Ya I can see it. I'm gonna go ahead and take care of that in private. 519 00:40:50,365 --> 00:40:52,450 Thank you. 520 00:40:52,742 --> 00:40:53,742 Okay. Um... 521 00:40:54,202 --> 00:40:57,372 Before we send out the npcs—... 522 00:40:58,289 --> 00:41:00,875 I have some business to take care of. 523 00:41:02,794 --> 00:41:03,962 Rhubarb! 524 00:41:04,253 --> 00:41:05,588 I'm listenin' 525 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:09,717 ithink we all learned something thetreasure hunt. 526 00:41:11,094 --> 00:41:14,681 And now it's time to take things to the next level. 527 00:41:20,103 --> 00:41:24,774 Unicorn city is an intricate web of equal opportunity disciplines and rules 528 00:41:25,066 --> 00:41:27,568 based on an extremely fair role playing system. 529 00:41:28,528 --> 00:41:31,864 You can find these rules on page four of your citizenship manual. 530 00:41:32,365 --> 00:41:35,451 You will also see there is an area for you to draw a picture of your character 531 00:41:36,911 --> 00:41:40,540 which Marsha will evaluate at a later time for possible experience points. 532 00:41:40,832 --> 00:41:43,334 You can also show your support for unicorn city 533 00:41:43,626 --> 00:41:44,961 through atax—deductible pledge. 534 00:41:45,253 --> 00:41:50,883 And voss, I would like to donate, to unicorn city, a dollar. 535 00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:57,015 Oh, my gosh, Marsha, now we know how much it means to you. 536 00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:06,482 Make sure that gets all the way around. 537 00:42:07,191 --> 00:42:10,153 Our first order of action is to see how well you handle 538 00:42:10,445 --> 00:42:12,280 my leadership under a threat level of one. 539 00:42:12,572 --> 00:42:14,490 This shouldn't bet o difficult people. 540 00:42:26,335 --> 00:42:28,337 Friend of the forest, what's wrong. 541 00:42:28,629 --> 00:42:30,465 It was terrible, terrible. 542 00:42:30,798 --> 00:42:32,258 It moved so fast we never saw it. 543 00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:36,262 Oh, my wife and children. Oh, the carnage. 544 00:42:36,554 --> 00:42:38,347 We shall avenge your pain. 545 00:42:38,639 --> 00:42:42,268 Everyone find your buddy. Move out calmly. 546 00:42:45,855 --> 00:42:47,774 Stay in a nice orderly fashion. 547 00:42:48,066 --> 00:42:49,776 Since I've submitted to all of this, 548 00:42:50,068 --> 00:42:53,488 will you be my buddy? Yeah, sure. 549 00:42:53,780 --> 00:42:54,780 Who took the dollar?! 550 00:42:55,323 --> 00:42:58,242 Hey, voss, will you deduct points if I stay? 551 00:42:58,534 --> 00:43:00,244 You will not lose any experience points. 552 00:43:00,536 --> 00:43:03,581 In face, I will award you 200 points for guarding the encampment 553 00:43:03,873 --> 00:43:05,666 and any trash that you pick up. 554 00:43:08,336 --> 00:43:10,296 Let's do this! 555 00:43:22,767 --> 00:43:24,018 Meow! 556 00:43:24,310 --> 00:43:27,146 Mmm! Mmm! 557 00:43:52,672 --> 00:43:54,090 Go! 558 00:43:55,591 --> 00:43:57,802 Arggh! Down! 559 00:44:03,808 --> 00:44:07,562 This is so exciting! 560 00:44:07,854 --> 00:44:09,480 Totally. 561 00:44:09,772 --> 00:44:11,023 Aaaah! 562 00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:15,652 Sorry. 563 00:44:16,988 --> 00:44:18,364 I guess itripped. 564 00:44:18,656 --> 00:44:20,700 Marsha, are you crazy? 565 00:44:20,992 --> 00:44:23,035 She needs some room. 566 00:44:28,499 --> 00:44:30,585 As bardladin I sing, 567 00:44:30,877 --> 00:44:33,838 life, back to your life 568 00:44:34,130 --> 00:44:37,216 spirit back to its shell 569 00:44:37,508 --> 00:44:39,886 tearsumina 570 00:44:40,178 --> 00:44:43,097 be well. 571 00:44:43,389 --> 00:44:44,389 Okay. 572 00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:49,437 Somebody cast a spell to offset thetemporary effects of death. 573 00:44:49,729 --> 00:44:52,231 Bzzzzt. This was a failure. 574 00:44:52,523 --> 00:44:55,318 Clodnar, contact the npcs. 575 00:44:55,610 --> 00:44:58,070 We're returning to camp. 576 00:44:58,362 --> 00:45:00,865 In rural areas, automobiles... 577 00:45:01,157 --> 00:45:02,575 Kill more deer than hunters. False! 578 00:45:02,867 --> 00:45:07,705 Why? Because that sentence is an example of a dangling modifier. 579 00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:09,874 Ten out of ten on grammar. Yes! 580 00:45:10,166 --> 00:45:12,919 With my default student loan status cleared up, 581 00:45:13,211 --> 00:45:13,836 I' m in this time! 582 00:45:14,128 --> 00:45:17,924 The highway patrol will be compelled to have me! 583 00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:18,799 Bogie! 12 o' clock! 584 00:45:19,091 --> 00:45:22,303 Eleven o' clock, ten o' clock, nine o' clock, eight o' clock! 585 00:45:38,069 --> 00:45:39,487 You see that? Saw it. 586 00:45:39,779 --> 00:45:40,899 What are you doing out here? 587 00:45:40,947 --> 00:45:46,077 Nothing. I' m not doing anything. Just—— just walking. 588 00:45:46,369 --> 00:45:48,955 Are you alone? 589 00:45:49,247 --> 00:45:51,123 Just me. 590 00:46:01,842 --> 00:46:03,636 Mooners? 591 00:46:09,976 --> 00:46:11,686 Mooners! 592 00:46:15,731 --> 00:46:16,731 Um, I'm positive, 593 00:46:16,857 --> 00:46:20,861 I' m pretty sure, that moon—strider is missing. 594 00:46:23,322 --> 00:46:25,825 Moon—strider! 595 00:46:28,452 --> 00:46:31,706 I need atracker! 596 00:46:32,415 --> 00:46:34,333 Yeah. 597 00:46:34,625 --> 00:46:37,545 Moon—strider is missing. 598 00:46:37,837 --> 00:46:39,964 I' m on it. 599 00:46:50,725 --> 00:46:54,937 Great. I have lost a 25—year—old German. 600 00:46:55,938 --> 00:46:59,525 Please don't make note of that. 601 00:47:00,818 --> 00:47:03,279 These are moon—strider's prints all right, 602 00:47:03,571 --> 00:47:05,197 but there's two other sets over there. 603 00:47:05,489 --> 00:47:08,075 Which means he pansied out and his mom and dad came and got him. 604 00:47:08,367 --> 00:47:12,246 What a wuss. And what, left his allegiance cards back at camp? 605 00:47:12,538 --> 00:47:17,585 I Don' tthink so. Okay, so then he was abducted? 606 00:47:22,798 --> 00:47:24,300 It was the same cops 607 00:47:24,592 --> 00:47:26,302 that took your sword at hastur's. 608 00:47:26,594 --> 00:47:30,139 And then what? I have to pay $150 for loitering. 609 00:47:30,431 --> 00:47:32,058 My mother' s gonna kill me. 610 00:47:32,350 --> 00:47:34,268 Do they know the rest of us are here? 611 00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:38,189 No, because... I lied. 612 00:47:39,857 --> 00:47:40,441 It was a noble lie. 613 00:47:40,733 --> 00:47:44,111 One hundred experience points for moon—strider' s lie. You got it. 614 00:47:44,403 --> 00:47:46,072 Okay, ithink we should move the camp. 615 00:47:46,364 --> 00:47:47,644 No, all we need is surveillance. 616 00:47:47,865 --> 00:47:51,452 Okay, that' swhat we're gonna do. Surveillance. 617 00:47:51,744 --> 00:47:53,579 Who has nightvision? 618 00:47:54,580 --> 00:47:55,873 How powerful is it? 619 00:47:56,165 --> 00:47:58,709 Okay. Yeah, that's great. 620 00:48:00,336 --> 00:48:01,587 Okay, listen to me. 621 00:48:01,879 --> 00:48:06,842 One blow for danger, two blows for all clear. 622 00:48:07,134 --> 00:48:09,053 Fly! 623 00:48:11,514 --> 00:48:13,432 We are screwed. 624 00:48:13,724 --> 00:48:14,433 Did you just see how he ran? 625 00:48:14,725 --> 00:48:18,437 That was—— I've never seen anything likethat, really. 626 00:48:24,568 --> 00:48:25,611 I guess—— I just—... 627 00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:27,780 I Don't know exactly what it is, 628 00:48:28,072 --> 00:48:30,574 I mean, I know this city means everything to him, 629 00:48:30,866 --> 00:48:32,993 and he's gotthat job, and he's gonna—... 630 00:48:33,285 --> 00:48:36,622 I get that—— what job? 631 00:48:36,914 --> 00:48:37,998 Um... the job where—... 632 00:48:38,290 --> 00:48:43,212 The job—— the job where he's the leader of this—— this camp. 633 00:48:44,296 --> 00:48:46,006 Oh. Yeah. 634 00:48:46,298 --> 00:48:46,841 I' m just saying, 635 00:48:47,133 --> 00:48:49,593 I feel like I should quit because he doesn' t need me. 636 00:48:49,885 --> 00:48:53,347 Ohh. Marsha, why are you always, unhh, every time? 637 00:48:53,639 --> 00:48:56,016 I Don't unhh everytime. Yes, you do. 638 00:48:56,308 --> 00:48:58,394 You just need to get out of your comfort zone 639 00:48:58,686 --> 00:49:00,938 and you need to do something risky. 640 00:49:01,230 --> 00:49:02,230 Unhh. 641 00:49:02,273 --> 00:49:05,443 Do you even really want to be with him? 642 00:49:05,734 --> 00:49:08,320 Then do you trust me? Yeah. 643 00:49:08,612 --> 00:49:13,701 Okay. Are you willing to do exactly what I tell you to do? 644 00:49:15,911 --> 00:49:17,830 Yes. 645 00:49:18,998 --> 00:49:22,042 Okay. 646 00:49:41,896 --> 00:49:42,396 Ah em. 647 00:49:42,688 --> 00:49:43,999 It has been brought to my attention 648 00:49:44,023 --> 00:49:46,501 that while rhubarb was out in the trees taking care of business, 649 00:49:46,525 --> 00:49:52,531 someonetook his better half for a little joyride and flattened atire. 650 00:49:53,199 --> 00:49:55,242 Shame on you. 651 00:49:55,534 --> 00:49:57,661 Shame. On. You. 652 00:49:57,953 --> 00:50:00,664 On page three of your manuals, it clearly states 653 00:50:00,956 --> 00:50:02,316 Unless you are athief 654 00:50:02,416 --> 00:50:05,002 or have at least seven thieving skill points, 655 00:50:05,294 --> 00:50:06,504 you are not allowed to steal. 656 00:50:06,795 --> 00:50:08,839 If you are caught doing so, you will be sent home. 657 00:50:09,131 --> 00:50:14,053 We are not the undead, people, so let's not act like it. 658 00:50:14,345 --> 00:50:16,055 Thanks. 659 00:51:11,068 --> 00:51:13,904 Whoo! Ugh. 660 00:51:16,198 --> 00:51:19,076 Yeah! Whoo! 661 00:51:24,957 --> 00:51:26,417 Yeah! 662 00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:36,677 That was so stupid! No, no, it was amazing! 663 00:51:36,969 --> 00:51:39,763 You did so great. I'm definitely leaving now. 664 00:51:40,055 --> 00:51:41,095 Did you even see yourself? 665 00:51:41,140 --> 00:51:46,061 Okay, so voss is coming. Just be mean. Tell him that hate him. What? 666 00:51:46,353 --> 00:51:49,106 What? Oh, my gosh. 667 00:51:55,154 --> 00:51:57,281 Hey, that was, um... 668 00:51:57,573 --> 00:51:59,950 It was really... different. 669 00:52:00,242 --> 00:52:04,455 Did, uh, did Angie put you up to that? 670 00:52:04,747 --> 00:52:06,999 Oh. Hey, voss. 671 00:52:07,291 --> 00:52:09,960 Um, so, quargooz called his cousins, 672 00:52:10,252 --> 00:52:13,547 and we're gonna have, like, a huge influx of gamers tomorrow. 673 00:52:13,839 --> 00:52:16,634 I thought maybe you knew somebody who knew somebody 674 00:52:16,925 --> 00:52:23,015 that knew someone that worked at one of the news stations? 675 00:52:23,307 --> 00:52:24,975 Yeah. Mm—hmm. Maybe. 676 00:52:25,267 --> 00:52:28,562 I mean, I don't know. Whatever. 677 00:52:28,854 --> 00:52:30,856 Okay, cool. 678 00:52:31,690 --> 00:52:35,611 I broke up with tanick stormblade. 679 00:52:37,237 --> 00:52:39,740 Um... sorry. 680 00:52:40,032 --> 00:52:41,032 I' m not. 681 00:52:41,283 --> 00:52:45,579 Okay. Um, look, 682 00:52:45,871 --> 00:52:46,871 it's freezing. 683 00:52:46,914 --> 00:52:50,709 Why don't you come back to the fire? 684 00:53:10,729 --> 00:53:11,772 I'm sorry. 685 00:53:12,064 --> 00:53:14,358 No, I—— yeah, I'm sorry. That was stupid. 686 00:53:14,650 --> 00:53:18,070 That was my bad. I don't even know—... 687 00:53:18,362 --> 00:53:20,739 You okay? Sorry! 688 00:53:31,500 --> 00:53:34,420 I'm an idiot. 689 00:54:18,797 --> 00:54:19,797 How do I look? Great. 690 00:54:19,923 --> 00:54:22,676 Um, pat was asking about a meal plan. I don't know—... 691 00:54:22,968 --> 00:54:24,448 I need you to stand right about here. 692 00:54:24,636 --> 00:54:26,722 Get a picture of me shaking their hands. 693 00:54:27,014 --> 00:54:28,849 You got it. 694 00:54:31,310 --> 00:54:36,482 So I hear you two were kissing last night. 695 00:54:39,485 --> 00:54:40,485 Oh... sorry. 696 00:54:40,611 --> 00:54:45,199 It's okay. Welcome to unicorn city. 697 00:54:45,491 --> 00:54:47,701 Ah, yes. Unicrap city. 698 00:54:47,993 --> 00:54:50,704 Hmm. Looks just like the brochure. 699 00:54:50,996 --> 00:54:54,291 What are you doing here? Hmm? 700 00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:03,008 Shadow hawk looks like a pimp. 701 00:55:04,885 --> 00:55:07,513 Did you tell him what I was doing out here? 702 00:55:07,805 --> 00:55:08,972 No. No, of course not. 703 00:55:09,264 --> 00:55:12,226 Ah... the land. 704 00:55:12,518 --> 00:55:13,185 Where's rhubarb? 705 00:55:13,477 --> 00:55:16,355 Is anybody hungry? We have flapjacks on the grill! 706 00:55:16,647 --> 00:55:19,149 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where do you think you're going, clodnar? 707 00:55:19,441 --> 00:55:24,238 No, no, no, no. You're gonna finish digging your section of the moat. 708 00:55:24,530 --> 00:55:26,782 Oh, it's yummy! 709 00:55:28,742 --> 00:55:29,952 Nobody moves. 710 00:55:30,244 --> 00:55:31,284 We have swine on the spit. 711 00:55:31,411 --> 00:55:34,122 Turkey swine, but swine nonetheless. 712 00:55:34,414 --> 00:55:35,874 You lost him in canned foods? 713 00:55:36,166 --> 00:55:38,377 You led him straight to our camp! 714 00:55:38,669 --> 00:55:40,003 I'm going potty! 715 00:55:40,295 --> 00:55:44,633 Hitthe sod! Cops! 716 00:55:48,428 --> 00:55:53,058 And why in heronius' s name did you tell everyone about us kissing? 717 00:55:53,350 --> 00:55:55,352 I didn't. I swear I—— I didn't. 718 00:55:55,644 --> 00:55:56,724 Well, how does Clancy know? 719 00:55:56,937 --> 00:55:59,481 Well, uh, Angie. Angie! That's great. 720 00:55:59,773 --> 00:56:01,133 How am I supposed to manage people 721 00:56:01,316 --> 00:56:03,356 if they allthink I'm trying to scam on the citizens? 722 00:56:03,569 --> 00:56:07,030 Which I'm not, 'causethat wouldn t be a safe working environment. 723 00:56:07,322 --> 00:56:09,575 Well, it doesn't matter if you like me, does it? 724 00:56:09,867 --> 00:56:12,327 I mean—— can we just stay focused on the goal? 725 00:56:12,619 --> 00:56:15,163 Which is to get me a job, remember? 726 00:56:15,455 --> 00:56:17,291 Right. Right. 727 00:56:17,583 --> 00:56:19,293 So... just stay focused. 728 00:56:19,585 --> 00:56:22,796 Well, you don't have to be so mean about it. 729 00:56:23,088 --> 00:56:24,298 Sorry. 730 00:56:24,590 --> 00:56:26,842 I'm sorry. 731 00:56:27,134 --> 00:56:29,845 Like another pancake up there? 732 00:56:30,137 --> 00:56:31,137 Come one, come all! 733 00:56:31,221 --> 00:56:33,807 There's nothing like a spot of food in the morning, eh? 734 00:56:34,099 --> 00:56:39,187 Grace us with your presence while we grace you with our food. 735 00:56:50,032 --> 00:56:51,575 How many more of those do you have? 736 00:56:51,867 --> 00:56:53,869 Enough. What's in it for me? 737 00:56:54,161 --> 00:56:57,539 This is utopia, brother. We're supposed to share everything. 738 00:56:57,831 --> 00:57:00,709 And? I got a buck. 739 00:57:01,001 --> 00:57:02,878 That ain't gonna cut it. 740 00:57:03,170 --> 00:57:08,467 Nothing in this world's free, man. Nothin'. 741 00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:22,773 More. 742 00:57:28,528 --> 00:57:30,155 More. 743 00:57:39,039 --> 00:57:42,000 All rightie. 744 00:57:42,292 --> 00:57:45,128 How many do you want? Nine. 745 00:57:45,462 --> 00:57:51,051 We'll start with two. See me later. 746 00:57:55,931 --> 00:57:58,433 Get down! Everybody down! 747 00:58:17,119 --> 00:58:18,787 Hey. 748 00:58:23,041 --> 00:58:25,544 Hi! I'm looking for... voss. 749 00:58:25,836 --> 00:58:27,879 Is he here? Uh, I'm voss. 750 00:58:28,171 --> 00:58:29,798 Kay crossland. Channel four news. 751 00:58:30,090 --> 00:58:32,968 I want to do a special on the nine o'clock spot this evening. 752 00:58:33,260 --> 00:58:35,554 Do you have time for a brief interview? 753 00:58:35,846 --> 00:58:38,223 Absolutely! Good. 754 00:58:38,515 --> 00:58:40,726 The axis mundi, 755 00:58:41,018 --> 00:58:41,601 the psychic universe, 756 00:58:41,893 --> 00:58:43,653 where it's as if it works on a cosmic level, 757 00:58:43,770 --> 00:58:46,815 every planet pulling the energy from this very unicorn—... 758 00:58:47,107 --> 00:58:48,316 Great. That's just great. 759 00:58:48,608 --> 00:58:50,986 So, how would you state that for the layman? 760 00:58:51,278 --> 00:58:54,156 I wouldn't. If you don't understand that, you're probably not a gamer 761 00:58:54,448 --> 00:58:57,325 and shouldn't be coming to the corn. Okay! 762 00:58:57,617 --> 00:58:59,177 I think we're ready for the money shot. 763 00:58:59,327 --> 00:59:03,415 Uh, I could havethe guild make a little pyramid... 764 00:59:03,707 --> 00:59:06,585 Be aboutthere. Something bigger. 765 00:59:06,877 --> 00:59:11,798 Like you standing triumphantly on a mountaintop. 766 00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:16,553 Absolutely. I'm this close to 767 00:59:16,845 --> 00:59:18,645 getting that job. I wish I could go with you. 768 00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:22,017 Listen, I need you to be thinking of awayto get shadow hawk out of here 769 00:59:22,309 --> 00:59:25,604 before I get back. All right, yeah, yeah. 770 00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:28,648 Voss. Um... 771 00:59:30,817 --> 00:59:32,944 I, uh... 772 00:59:33,528 --> 00:59:35,614 That's your good side. 773 00:59:35,906 --> 00:59:39,659 All right. Well, I'll see ya. 774 00:59:49,419 --> 00:59:51,338 She said I should come along, 775 00:59:51,630 --> 00:59:54,299 maybe use me for some shots. 776 01:00:43,515 --> 01:00:46,726 Oh, boy, we are really burning daylight. 777 01:00:47,018 --> 01:00:48,520 Okay, that's our mountain up there, 778 01:00:48,812 --> 01:00:51,356 and let's just Blaze atrail 779 01:00:51,648 --> 01:00:53,150 right up to that tree. 780 01:00:53,441 --> 01:00:54,901 Okay, let's go! Hut, hut, hike! 781 01:00:55,193 --> 01:00:58,029 Hup, hup, hup! Let's go! All right! Hurry! 782 01:00:58,321 --> 01:01:01,408 Bob, prep the camera. I gotta get my notes. 783 01:01:31,354 --> 01:01:33,398 How did we not see that coming? 784 01:01:33,690 --> 01:01:35,775 We're such idiots, man. 785 01:01:36,067 --> 01:01:37,837 Like, there were no channel numbers on the Van. 786 01:01:37,861 --> 01:01:40,363 And then we got in, they're like, hey, you want some candy? 787 01:01:40,655 --> 01:01:45,869 Sure! Take us to an undisclosed location and dump our bodies. 788 01:01:46,161 --> 01:01:48,288 And then, like, you, you're all serious—... 789 01:01:48,580 --> 01:01:52,709 Shut up! All right? Shut up! I get it! 790 01:01:53,752 --> 01:01:54,461 You shut up. You know what? 791 01:01:54,753 --> 01:01:58,590 When we get back I want you to get your crap and get out of the city, 792 01:01:58,882 --> 01:02:00,067 you're banished to the apartment. 793 01:02:00,091 --> 01:02:02,260 Okay, good. Because this is stupid city! 794 01:02:02,552 --> 01:02:05,597 Yeah, so go. It's hot, and it's—— it's—... 795 01:02:05,889 --> 01:02:07,057 Gross—— yeah. Run! 796 01:02:07,349 --> 01:02:09,184 Run, little kitty, be free! I will! 797 01:02:09,476 --> 01:02:11,236 Okay, great! And I'll be free with my sword! 798 01:02:11,394 --> 01:02:12,554 Don'ttouch it! It's my sword! 799 01:02:12,812 --> 01:02:14,773 Do not touch the sword! Because you stole it! 800 01:02:15,065 --> 01:02:17,400 Stop it! You—... 801 01:02:18,235 --> 01:02:22,197 Oh, do it. Oh, I—— I would love for you to do that again. 802 01:02:22,489 --> 01:02:24,532 Don't—— don't—— sword—... 803 01:02:24,824 --> 01:02:26,701 Don't——... 804 01:02:32,791 --> 01:02:33,791 Shut up! 805 01:02:36,419 --> 01:02:37,796 Huh? 806 01:02:39,965 --> 01:02:41,466 Get up. 807 01:02:42,133 --> 01:02:44,511 Why don't you be a man? Thay's it! 808 01:02:44,803 --> 01:02:48,390 You got it now—— why don't you be a man?! 809 01:02:49,933 --> 01:02:52,644 I heard mythroat crunch. 810 01:02:58,108 --> 01:03:02,028 Clancy, come back, man. I'm sorry! 811 01:03:35,687 --> 01:03:37,772 Uhh! Where's Clancy? 812 01:03:38,064 --> 01:03:41,735 You're the only one who stayed. 813 01:03:42,027 --> 01:03:45,363 We're the last ones. Not exactly. 814 01:03:45,655 --> 01:03:49,659 Um, the knight actually is still here. 815 01:03:51,453 --> 01:03:53,330 What's up, dude——ohh! Yeah. 816 01:03:53,621 --> 01:03:56,333 When we were running low on t.P., he improvised, 817 01:03:56,624 --> 01:03:59,753 and we think it's poison oak. What should we do? 818 01:04:00,045 --> 01:04:02,255 I don't know. Let it air out. 819 01:04:02,547 --> 01:04:04,883 I'm gonna go kill shadow hawk. 820 01:04:05,175 --> 01:04:06,255 I talked to him about that, 821 01:04:06,301 --> 01:04:07,737 and he said he wasn't involved. So I—... 822 01:04:07,761 --> 01:04:10,740 Really, because I can't imagine anyone else who would me in the desertto die 823 01:04:10,764 --> 01:04:12,844 for his own amusement. You don't want to kill anyone. 824 01:04:12,932 --> 01:04:14,934 You don't want to make a fool out of yourself. 825 01:04:15,226 --> 01:04:15,727 Ohh! Ow! 826 01:04:16,019 --> 01:04:18,521 Oh, my gosh! Are you okay? Stupid moot! 827 01:04:18,813 --> 01:04:19,856 Oh, darny—darn it! 828 01:04:20,148 --> 01:04:22,150 Are you okay? Seriously, what's wrong? 829 01:04:22,442 --> 01:04:25,612 No, let me see it. Are you okay? 830 01:04:45,423 --> 01:04:46,883 Are you okay? 831 01:04:47,759 --> 01:04:49,552 It looked like it really hurt. 832 01:04:49,844 --> 01:04:52,972 I mean, you really biffed it. 833 01:04:54,891 --> 01:04:56,684 Can I do anything? 834 01:04:56,976 --> 01:05:00,772 I learned at girls' camp you shouldn't take your shoe off. 835 01:05:01,064 --> 01:05:02,649 And maybe we should elevate it? 836 01:05:02,941 --> 01:05:09,322 I'd be more than happy to help bind it, or... or hold it up. 837 01:05:09,614 --> 01:05:11,241 Hello? 838 01:05:11,533 --> 01:05:14,536 Where are you? Are you okay? 839 01:05:14,828 --> 01:05:18,456 It's probably reallythrobbing. 840 01:05:47,735 --> 01:05:50,155 My lady rashan na. 841 01:05:51,030 --> 01:05:52,907 A challenge has been made 842 01:05:53,199 --> 01:05:54,951 for the leadership of unicron city. 843 01:05:55,243 --> 01:05:58,371 It's unicorn. Whoever wins the challenge, 844 01:05:58,663 --> 01:06:00,540 shall be the leader. 845 01:06:00,832 --> 01:06:02,167 Whoever loses... 846 01:06:02,459 --> 01:06:07,714 Shall be the loser and may never come back again. 847 01:06:08,006 --> 01:06:10,216 Agreed? Aye! 848 01:06:10,508 --> 01:06:12,719 I'm gonna club you like a baby seal. 849 01:06:13,011 --> 01:06:16,931 Since you extended the challenge, voss, 850 01:06:17,223 --> 01:06:19,684 I choose the weapon. 851 01:06:28,526 --> 01:06:29,736 I choose wit. 852 01:06:30,028 --> 01:06:32,238 What? A battle of wits. 853 01:06:32,530 --> 01:06:34,991 Wits is not aweapon. Thetongue is mightier than the sword. 854 01:06:35,283 --> 01:06:38,243 Bullcrap! We're gonna do this like men and beat the hell out of each other! 855 01:06:38,495 --> 01:06:41,831 Under the code of the bardlidans, to which you are bound, 856 01:06:42,123 --> 01:06:43,416 I may choose the weapon—... 857 01:06:43,708 --> 01:06:47,629 And it doesn't state what manner of weapon. 858 01:06:47,921 --> 01:06:50,298 Am I right, Marsha? 859 01:06:50,590 --> 01:06:54,302 I shall throw down the gauntlet and go first. 860 01:06:54,761 --> 01:07:00,517 Atroll and an elf are walking down a pebbled path together. 861 01:07:00,808 --> 01:07:02,435 Oh, no. Story problems. 862 01:07:02,727 --> 01:07:06,105 Thetroll is carrying 20 pounds of pastries; 863 01:07:06,397 --> 01:07:09,442 the elf has a bundle of sticks weighing 50 pounds. 864 01:07:09,734 --> 01:07:14,280 Which one will getto the end first? You have ten seconds. 865 01:07:14,572 --> 01:07:17,075 Tick, tock... 866 01:07:19,077 --> 01:07:21,329 Tick tock, tick... 867 01:07:21,621 --> 01:07:22,038 Tock—... 868 01:07:22,330 --> 01:07:27,085 Thetroll! Because the troll would eatthe elf! 869 01:07:27,502 --> 01:07:33,550 Wrong.——both—— because the elf is in——thetroll. 870 01:07:36,636 --> 01:07:38,429 No, it's the troll! Let's just assume 871 01:07:38,721 --> 01:07:41,766 that story problems are beyond your cranial capacity, 872 01:07:42,058 --> 01:07:47,647 and we'll move into the ancient art of maternal insults, 873 01:07:47,939 --> 01:07:49,774 shall we? 874 01:07:52,151 --> 01:07:55,363 Your mother... 875 01:07:55,655 --> 01:08:00,368 Smokes troll malarkey in a corncob pipe. 876 01:08:07,125 --> 01:08:10,044 Your mom... 877 01:08:10,336 --> 01:08:13,298 Dated a dragon. 878 01:08:15,008 --> 01:08:16,593 Hmm. 879 01:08:17,594 --> 01:08:19,304 Iwin! 880 01:08:22,599 --> 01:08:25,643 Now it's time for you to go home 881 01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:28,771 walk home, walk home you would all give up your honor 882 01:08:29,063 --> 01:08:32,191 for pancakes and couple of orcs! 883 01:08:36,195 --> 01:08:38,031 No, voss! 884 01:08:41,242 --> 01:08:43,369 Marsha—... 885 01:08:44,203 --> 01:08:46,205 Hold him back! 886 01:08:52,337 --> 01:08:54,964 As rightful leader of unicron city, 887 01:08:55,256 --> 01:09:00,845 I will enact righteous judgment thatvoss be banished! 888 01:09:01,137 --> 01:09:03,431 Do any oppose? 889 01:09:09,937 --> 01:09:11,898 Go! 890 01:09:13,149 --> 01:09:15,693 Are you all right? 891 01:09:29,874 --> 01:09:32,919 Walk away, voss. 892 01:09:33,211 --> 01:09:35,713 Walk away in shame! 893 01:09:39,676 --> 01:09:41,552 Voss! 894 01:09:47,266 --> 01:09:48,266 Voss. 895 01:09:48,351 --> 01:09:53,356 Magmald and rashanna's love can endure this. 896 01:09:53,648 --> 01:09:56,401 Magmald and rashan na? 897 01:09:56,693 --> 01:09:58,111 This is over. 898 01:09:58,403 --> 01:10:01,197 This was a game to get a job, 899 01:10:01,489 --> 01:10:02,907 and it failed. 900 01:10:03,199 --> 01:10:05,660 I know this is a game, voss, I'm not—... 901 01:10:05,952 --> 01:10:08,413 I'm talking about us. We're not a game. 902 01:10:08,705 --> 01:10:14,252 I don't know what you're trying to start between us through our characters, 903 01:10:14,544 --> 01:10:16,045 but it's not gonna work, okay? 904 01:10:16,337 --> 01:10:19,006 We're not gonna live happily ever after. 905 01:10:19,298 --> 01:10:24,053 I'm notyour knight, I'm not gonna save you. 906 01:10:24,345 --> 01:10:26,931 What about our kiss? 907 01:10:27,932 --> 01:10:33,938 Our—— our kiss was part of all this magic and wonder. 908 01:10:34,939 --> 01:10:40,361 So... so you were just playing a part? 909 01:10:40,653 --> 01:10:42,989 Yeah. 910 01:10:44,907 --> 01:10:48,161 It didn't mean anything? 911 01:10:48,453 --> 01:10:50,121 Right. 912 01:10:54,333 --> 01:10:55,333 Do me a favor. 913 01:10:55,418 --> 01:10:57,795 The nexttime that you see your character, 914 01:10:58,087 --> 01:11:02,467 tell him that ithink he's an ass! 915 01:11:13,186 --> 01:11:14,437 Ijustthink I need to leave. 916 01:11:14,729 --> 01:11:18,149 Marsha, you are in no——condition to walk miles back to town. 917 01:11:18,441 --> 01:11:21,027 You suffered blunt—forcetrauma! I need to leave. I just—... 918 01:11:21,319 --> 01:11:26,115 No. Marsha, you stood directly in front of that pipe 919 01:11:26,407 --> 01:11:29,410 which was aimed at me. 920 01:11:29,869 --> 01:11:32,705 How many fingers am I holding up? Two. 921 01:11:32,997 --> 01:11:35,833 You see? I was holding up one. 922 01:11:36,125 --> 01:11:38,294 Now, please allow me to return the favor. 923 01:11:38,586 --> 01:11:41,714 Hmm? I have a cold pack inside which we can apply, 924 01:11:42,006 --> 01:11:44,926 and it'll help to bring down the swelling. 925 01:11:45,218 --> 01:11:47,386 Come! Okay. 926 01:11:48,971 --> 01:11:50,973 Well—— it's very cold. 927 01:11:51,265 --> 01:11:53,601 Really cold? Ice cold. 928 01:12:10,034 --> 01:12:11,869 Aaah! That's it, bro. 929 01:12:12,161 --> 01:12:15,873 I gave you many chances. You're out of here! 930 01:12:16,165 --> 01:12:18,251 No! No! 931 01:12:19,335 --> 01:12:21,087 You don't show up at the taco shop, 932 01:12:21,379 --> 01:12:26,592 so pack up your stuff, bro... and go. 933 01:12:36,811 --> 01:12:37,520 Where you goin'? 934 01:12:37,812 --> 01:12:40,022 I'm joining the marines to get a sword. 935 01:12:40,314 --> 01:12:43,442 Right. Or the national guard or whatever. 936 01:12:43,734 --> 01:12:47,321 Because unlike someone here, I know what's important. 937 01:12:47,613 --> 01:12:50,241 So you go ahead and leave. Go get your sword. 938 01:12:50,533 --> 01:12:52,243 You don't get it. 939 01:12:52,535 --> 01:12:53,661 She is in love——with you. 940 01:12:53,953 --> 01:12:57,373 Come on, Clancy. We're friends. Oh, just friends. 941 01:12:57,665 --> 01:13:01,919 That makes more sense, because I thought you were treating her that way 942 01:13:02,211 --> 01:13:03,754 because you're a big dumb—ass. 943 01:13:04,046 --> 01:13:06,215 But nowthati know you're just friends, —— that—... 944 01:13:06,507 --> 01:13:09,176 Get out. Ya know, one of these days 945 01:13:09,468 --> 01:13:14,724 someone's gonna come along and sweep her off her feet... 946 01:13:15,016 --> 01:13:18,644 And then you'll realize what you had. 947 01:13:20,146 --> 01:13:23,149 I'd wish you good luck, but... 948 01:13:23,441 --> 01:13:27,445 You're probably gonna screw it up. 949 01:13:46,714 --> 01:13:49,634 Aaaaaaah!!!! 950 01:13:49,926 --> 01:13:52,845 Aaaah! Aaaah! 951 01:13:53,137 --> 01:13:56,349 Aaaah! What, what, what, what?! 952 01:13:56,641 --> 01:14:00,311 Oh, man. Okay, count of three, right? 953 01:14:00,603 --> 01:14:02,605 One. Sorry, bro. 954 01:14:02,897 --> 01:14:04,482 On there. 955 01:14:05,983 --> 01:14:07,526 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 956 01:14:07,818 --> 01:14:09,070 Release toxins. 957 01:14:09,362 --> 01:14:11,572 Release thetoxins. 958 01:14:16,535 --> 01:14:18,204 The doc is in the house. 959 01:14:18,496 --> 01:14:21,082 There. Good now. You all right? 960 01:14:21,374 --> 01:14:24,752 Ohh! Thanks for that. 961 01:14:25,586 --> 01:14:27,421 Hey, uh... 962 01:14:27,713 --> 01:14:29,924 Clancy was right. 963 01:14:30,216 --> 01:14:32,218 About Marsha? 964 01:15:12,341 --> 01:15:16,303 What are these supposed to do exactly? 965 01:15:17,138 --> 01:15:22,143 Well, I freeze magnets just for occasions like this. 966 01:15:22,435 --> 01:15:24,812 The cold helps to bring down the swelling, 967 01:15:25,104 --> 01:15:28,899 and the magnets increase circulation. 968 01:15:29,191 --> 01:15:30,401 Hmm. 969 01:15:31,694 --> 01:15:34,697 Oh, you don't have to do that. With the correct amount of pressure, 970 01:15:34,989 --> 01:15:37,533 okay. We can release all of the negative energy 971 01:15:37,825 --> 01:15:41,037 and quicken the rate at which the swelling will go down. 972 01:15:41,328 --> 01:15:42,872 So if I press here... 973 01:15:43,164 --> 01:15:48,669 I'm actually sending and receiving messages from your kidneys. 974 01:15:49,962 --> 01:15:53,174 Hello, Mr. Kidney. 975 01:15:53,591 --> 01:15:55,301 26—charlie, copy detail.—... 976 01:15:55,593 --> 01:16:01,390 Suspicious persons trespassing on county build site, possible 604. Use caution. 977 01:16:01,682 --> 01:16:03,726 So when are you retiring, again? 978 01:16:15,821 --> 01:16:16,821 Rashan na... 979 01:16:17,073 --> 01:16:19,742 Rashan na. That's very pretty. 980 01:16:20,034 --> 01:16:22,119 Where did you come up with that character name? 981 01:16:22,411 --> 01:16:27,208 Um, the Egyptian sun god and a friend from the 8th grade. 982 01:16:27,500 --> 01:16:31,587 How about you? How'd you come up with shadow hawk? 983 01:16:31,879 --> 01:16:35,216 That's atemporary character name. 984 01:16:35,508 --> 01:16:37,927 What do you mean? 985 01:16:38,219 --> 01:16:40,763 Well, I... 986 01:16:41,055 --> 01:16:44,058 I didn't want to tell you my real character name. 987 01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:47,978 Why not? I was shy. 988 01:16:49,105 --> 01:16:51,482 I'm confused. 989 01:16:52,650 --> 01:16:56,862 My real character name is... 990 01:16:58,864 --> 01:17:00,116 Tanick stormblade. 991 01:17:00,407 --> 01:17:03,661 What?! I was so excited to tell you, 992 01:17:03,953 --> 01:17:05,162 butthen you broke up with me! 993 01:17:05,454 --> 01:17:09,208 I wanted you to judge me on mytrue character, not on my age. 994 01:17:09,500 --> 01:17:11,585 You said you were 26! I wasn't being honest, 995 01:17:11,877 --> 01:17:15,131 but—— buti am——being honest when itell you that... 996 01:17:15,422 --> 01:17:17,007 I'm so —— into you. 997 01:17:17,299 --> 01:17:20,177 Oh, that's gross. 998 01:17:35,401 --> 01:17:41,407 Whatthe——? It's like a geek breeding ground. 999 01:17:45,411 --> 01:17:47,496 Do you know how hard 1000 01:17:47,788 --> 01:17:49,874 it was to be in the guild with you 1001 01:17:50,166 --> 01:17:51,966 without the abilityto reach out and touch you, 1002 01:17:52,209 --> 01:17:55,713 to never speak the words that just ached to be said? 1003 01:17:56,005 --> 01:17:56,672 No. Aaaah... 1004 01:17:56,964 --> 01:17:58,883 But here we are together... again. 1005 01:17:59,175 --> 01:18:02,887 Like the forces were pulling us together... Like magnets! 1006 01:18:03,179 --> 01:18:08,350 Well, then how can I show you the depth of my love? 1007 01:18:08,642 --> 01:18:09,351 By letting me out. 1008 01:18:09,643 --> 01:18:11,979 Rather, how about if I recite a sonata? 1009 01:18:12,271 --> 01:18:16,567 Let me out! 1010 01:18:16,859 --> 01:18:19,028 No! I' m just trying to leave! 1011 01:18:19,320 --> 01:18:20,320 I—— I——... 1012 01:18:20,571 --> 01:18:22,698 I didn' t—— no, no, no—— I just wantto—... 1013 01:18:22,990 --> 01:18:26,619 Please! I' m just going—— wait—... 1014 01:18:28,078 --> 01:18:30,581 You dirty old man. 1015 01:18:30,873 --> 01:18:36,128 I oughta shankyou right now and save thetaxpayers—... 1016 01:18:36,420 --> 01:18:40,466 There's a reason there's no trespassing! 1017 01:18:40,758 --> 01:18:42,384 This is a super fund site! 1018 01:18:42,676 --> 01:18:44,303 The entire ground is poisoned! 1019 01:18:44,595 --> 01:18:49,475 You're probably gonna have two—headed babies! 1020 01:18:52,811 --> 01:18:54,647 Be careful, everyone! 1021 01:18:54,939 --> 01:18:55,940 The ground is poisoned! 1022 01:18:56,232 --> 01:18:59,902 The ground is poisoned! It's poisoned. 1023 01:19:00,194 --> 01:19:00,736 It's poisoned. 1024 01:19:01,028 --> 01:19:03,489 The ground is poisoned. 1025 01:19:03,781 --> 01:19:05,341 Whoop! Well, what are you gonna do now? 1026 01:19:05,491 --> 01:19:10,287 Slap some plastic cuffs on me and sing me happy birthday? 1027 01:19:10,579 --> 01:19:11,205 Hmm? 1028 01:19:11,497 --> 01:19:13,540 Come again? 1029 01:19:13,832 --> 01:19:14,291 Come off it. 1030 01:19:14,583 --> 01:19:20,130 How much did voss payto hire this pathetic performance? 1031 01:19:21,674 --> 01:19:24,093 I want everyone to take five steps back 1032 01:19:24,385 --> 01:19:27,680 and get face down on the ground now!!! 1033 01:19:28,639 --> 01:19:32,851 Well, that was almost believable. 1034 01:19:33,852 --> 01:19:35,229 Get down on your knees 1035 01:19:35,521 --> 01:19:39,566 and put your hands behind your back. 1036 01:19:41,610 --> 01:19:42,903 Do it! 1037 01:19:49,493 --> 01:19:51,412 Aaah! 1038 01:19:51,704 --> 01:19:53,664 Aaaaah! 1039 01:19:53,956 --> 01:19:56,250 Mooner! Run! Run! 1040 01:19:58,377 --> 01:20:00,337 Mooners. 1041 01:20:12,725 --> 01:20:13,892 Ow!!! 1042 01:20:14,184 --> 01:20:15,269 What did you do to Marsha? 1043 01:20:15,561 --> 01:20:19,106 Of course——you'd come back! 1044 01:20:23,861 --> 01:20:24,903 Hands off of him! 1045 01:20:25,195 --> 01:20:27,740 Mooner, get up! Hands in the air now! 1046 01:20:28,032 --> 01:20:30,032 Hands where I can see' em! Okay! I'm just gonna—... 1047 01:20:30,117 --> 01:20:33,746 Put your hands up! Get your hands up! 1048 01:20:34,038 --> 01:20:35,581 I need my pills! 1049 01:20:35,873 --> 01:20:38,125 I'm sorry—— hands in the air! 1050 01:20:38,417 --> 01:20:40,878 Aaahh... yahh! 1051 01:20:45,507 --> 01:20:49,678 Girl, I am now gonna count! One... 1052 01:21:02,524 --> 01:21:05,235 Aaaahh... 1053 01:21:05,527 --> 01:21:07,488 Aaaahhh!!! 1054 01:21:07,780 --> 01:21:08,989 Uhh! 1055 01:21:09,281 --> 01:21:10,657 Ohh! 1056 01:21:22,044 --> 01:21:24,088 Voss. 1057 01:21:24,630 --> 01:21:25,630 Voss! 1058 01:21:31,178 --> 01:21:35,766 That. Hurt. So. Bad. 1059 01:21:36,850 --> 01:21:38,519 I knew you'd come back for me. 1060 01:21:38,811 --> 01:21:40,562 Get' em over here! Don't split up! 1061 01:21:40,854 --> 01:21:45,401 Don't make any sudden movements! You're gonna spook' em! 1062 01:21:45,692 --> 01:21:46,360 Get' em over here! 1063 01:21:46,652 --> 01:21:48,612 Hamwater, what are you doing?! 1064 01:21:48,904 --> 01:21:51,990 Listen, magmald's in my pocket. 1065 01:21:52,282 --> 01:21:54,493 See if you can reach back and cut us free. 1066 01:21:54,785 --> 01:21:56,787 Okay. On three, okay? 1067 01:21:57,079 --> 01:21:59,081 One, two, three. 1068 01:22:01,708 --> 01:22:04,628 Got him? Yeah. 1069 01:22:08,006 --> 01:22:10,259 Aahh! You got it! 1070 01:22:10,551 --> 01:22:13,137 Aah. Okay. 1071 01:22:16,056 --> 01:22:18,475 Uhh. I'm —— I'm good. 1072 01:22:22,020 --> 01:22:24,189 Hold this. 1073 01:22:31,488 --> 01:22:35,826 Take her to safety! Stop for no one! Go! 1074 01:22:49,548 --> 01:22:52,384 Hamwater! 1075 01:22:52,676 --> 01:22:56,513 What is the matter with you?! 1076 01:23:01,268 --> 01:23:02,728 Thanks. 1077 01:23:05,898 --> 01:23:07,941 Stop moving! 1078 01:23:08,233 --> 01:23:10,611 Don't move! 1079 01:23:10,944 --> 01:23:12,362 Stay right where you are! 1080 01:23:12,654 --> 01:23:14,698 Friends of the guild! Look to the bard! 1081 01:23:14,990 --> 01:23:19,244 From his song we gather strength, and charge! 1082 01:23:19,703 --> 01:23:22,915 We gath er strength, and chaaaaarge!!! 1083 01:23:23,207 --> 01:23:26,710 Get in formation! 1084 01:23:29,546 --> 01:23:31,715 Shields! 1085 01:23:40,516 --> 01:23:44,728 Off—— officers in need of assistance! 1086 01:23:46,897 --> 01:23:49,107 Chaaaaarge!!!! 1087 01:23:54,363 --> 01:23:58,033 Start the car!!! 1088 01:24:19,763 --> 01:24:23,850 Did we not repulse the charging horde's onslaught? 1089 01:24:24,142 --> 01:24:26,603 Yeah!!! 1090 01:24:26,895 --> 01:24:31,066 I do not deserve to be your leader. I deceived you. 1091 01:24:31,358 --> 01:24:35,571 I used you to get a job. And for that, I'm sorry. 1092 01:24:35,862 --> 01:24:40,617 We can start over again. It will be a new beginning. 1093 01:24:40,909 --> 01:24:42,077 Yeah!!!! 1094 01:24:42,369 --> 01:24:44,162 If you will take me again as your leader, 1095 01:24:44,454 --> 01:24:46,164 I will make the citythrive once again! 1096 01:24:46,456 --> 01:24:51,628 So that all may live in peace against tyran NY and aggression 1097 01:24:51,920 --> 01:24:53,839 From those—... 1098 01:24:54,131 --> 01:24:56,466 Drop your weapons and get on the ground now! 1099 01:24:56,758 --> 01:24:59,970 Get down now!—— Stay down on the ground—... 1100 01:25:00,262 --> 01:25:03,765 Move! Get down, Peter Pan! 1101 01:25:05,601 --> 01:25:08,353 All rightie, then. 1102 01:25:09,313 --> 01:25:11,648 You can get down now! 1103 01:25:17,154 --> 01:25:21,825 I'd like all of you to approach the bench. 1104 01:25:30,500 --> 01:25:35,172 What in the world—— were you doing—— Outthere? 1105 01:25:37,049 --> 01:25:39,635 Nothing... sir. 1106 01:25:39,926 --> 01:25:43,513 Creating a utopia for gamers. 1107 01:25:43,805 --> 01:25:45,849 Is that right? 1108 01:25:49,936 --> 01:25:53,315 I bet you could have a lot of fun in a place like that. 1109 01:25:53,607 --> 01:25:56,485 I'll bet you could get a lot of families to show up, 1110 01:25:56,777 --> 01:26:00,322 maybe some at—risk youth to help setthings up. 1111 01:26:00,614 --> 01:26:06,078 I'm giving you all 800 hours of community service... 1112 01:26:06,370 --> 01:26:10,749 To build your unicorn city at the municipal park. 1113 01:26:11,041 --> 01:26:14,711 And it better be good. 1114 01:26:21,968 --> 01:26:28,016 I'll drop itto 700 hours if I can be king. 1115 01:26:31,978 --> 01:26:34,564 Yes, your majesty. 1116 01:26:35,691 --> 01:26:38,235 Cradle it. 1117 01:26:38,527 --> 01:26:40,487 Cradle it like a baby. 1118 01:26:41,655 --> 01:26:43,532 Softly—— what are you doing? 1119 01:26:43,824 --> 01:26:45,909 That's atortilla—wrapped gut—ache. Seriously, 1120 01:26:46,201 --> 01:26:48,761 how much cabbage you think one person can consume in one sitting? 1121 01:26:48,995 --> 01:26:52,999 I don't care. Okay? I don't have to do this. I'm too good for this. 1122 01:26:53,291 --> 01:26:56,253 I'm so glad that you are happy in taco town, 1123 01:26:56,545 --> 01:26:58,422 but I'm out. 1124 01:26:59,297 --> 01:27:03,135 Is that what you think of me? That you're better than me? 1125 01:27:03,427 --> 01:27:04,010 Well, you're not, bro! 1126 01:27:04,302 --> 01:27:09,099 Tacos are awesome! This restaurant is my life! 1127 01:27:09,391 --> 01:27:12,144 Drop your weapons and get on the ground——now! 1128 01:27:12,436 --> 01:27:16,314 You got arrested trying to get a job with us? 1129 01:27:16,606 --> 01:27:17,315 Yeah. 1130 01:27:17,607 --> 01:27:21,153 You got the job, man. Are you serious? 1131 01:27:21,445 --> 01:27:26,116 I've never seen anyone go to these lengths for a job. 1132 01:27:27,159 --> 01:27:30,787 So how soon before you can move up to Seattle? 1133 01:27:31,079 --> 01:27:31,413 Um... 1134 01:27:31,747 --> 01:27:33,707 I have some community service to finish, but... 1135 01:27:33,999 --> 01:27:35,792 Sure. Take as much time as you need. 1136 01:27:36,084 --> 01:27:39,045 Do you mind if I showthis to some of the guys? 1137 01:27:39,337 --> 01:27:39,796 No. 1138 01:27:40,088 --> 01:27:46,470 I thought you were gonna organize a canned food drive or something, 1139 01:27:46,762 --> 01:27:49,514 but this? This is amazing. 1140 01:27:51,224 --> 01:27:54,561 Oh. Oh... 1141 01:28:27,886 --> 01:28:29,054 Hey. 1142 01:28:31,848 --> 01:28:34,976 You got the job. 1143 01:28:37,813 --> 01:28:38,813 No. 1144 01:28:38,897 --> 01:28:41,983 I'm really sorry. I—... 1145 01:28:43,652 --> 01:28:46,780 It's okay. Uh... 1146 01:28:47,072 --> 01:28:50,492 I can live with it. 1147 01:28:50,784 --> 01:28:52,160 Here. 1148 01:28:53,078 --> 01:28:55,372 See ya upthere. 1149 01:28:59,584 --> 01:29:01,294 As king of this fair land, 1150 01:29:01,586 --> 01:29:05,966 I wish to welcome you all to the official opening of... 1151 01:29:06,258 --> 01:29:08,802 Unicorn city! 1152 01:29:10,679 --> 01:29:15,392 Finally! 1153 01:29:15,684 --> 01:29:17,477 Go! 1154 01:29:18,937 --> 01:29:20,856 Whoo! 1155 01:30:06,151 --> 01:30:07,611 That's a fiver by the way. 1156 01:30:09,613 --> 01:30:11,406 Lords and ladies, 1157 01:30:11,698 --> 01:30:14,743 di Tom inpaderi vero. 1158 01:30:15,035 --> 01:30:16,035 Baby. I know this. 1159 01:30:16,119 --> 01:30:18,663 I studied all night for, like, a half hour, okay? 1160 01:30:18,955 --> 01:30:21,416 You make up a language and you force me to use it. 1161 01:30:21,708 --> 01:30:23,585 It's very difficult, okay? 1162 01:30:23,877 --> 01:30:24,877 Al castiba... 1163 01:30:25,045 --> 01:30:28,506 El wunya ronley hoo—hoo. 1164 01:30:28,798 --> 01:30:32,761 Will you temper your words and actions 1165 01:30:33,053 --> 01:30:34,638 with love... 1166 01:30:37,015 --> 01:30:43,021 So, I have some ideas for the campaign you suggested. 1167 01:30:43,313 --> 01:30:44,481 Oh. Oh, yeah. 1168 01:30:44,773 --> 01:30:49,903 What if... magmald came down from the astral plane 1169 01:30:50,195 --> 01:30:54,282 after months of aimlessly wandering, 1170 01:30:54,574 --> 01:30:56,034 rashanna finds him weakened 1171 01:30:56,326 --> 01:31:00,914 and carries him back to her woodland home... 1172 01:31:04,960 --> 01:31:07,379 Where she... saves him 1173 01:31:07,671 --> 01:31:10,131 by nursing him back to health 1174 01:31:10,423 --> 01:31:12,342 with feral berries and moss... 1175 01:31:12,634 --> 01:31:15,220 And they live happily ever after, 1176 01:31:15,512 --> 01:31:20,058 and have a whole litter of baby bardladins. 1177 01:31:27,232 --> 01:31:29,401 Ronley hoo—hoo. 1178 01:31:30,235 --> 01:31:31,945 Kiss her now? 1179 01:31:33,571 --> 01:31:36,533 Awww... 1180 01:31:37,534 --> 01:31:39,327 Nose. 1181 01:31:43,498 --> 01:31:47,377 All right, thank you, everyone, for coming, so much. 1182 01:31:50,714 --> 01:31:55,010 We have sno—cones, so everyone enjoy! 1183 01:31:58,221 --> 01:32:00,890 Arm you rselves! 1184 01:32:06,521 --> 01:32:11,943 I've got 20,000 more experience points we've last feuded! 1185 01:32:12,235 --> 01:32:13,737 En garde! 1186 01:33:39,989 --> 01:33:42,700 Aaaaah!