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As you reach the end of
your first year in the afterlife,
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what do you remember most?
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The everlasting friendships you made?
4
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The adversity you overcame together?
5
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The day everything was chocolate?
6
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That day was awesome.
7
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I had a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.
8
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- It was all chocolate.
- Shh, shh, shh.
9
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You only have a few
hours left in your first year,
10
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so why not do as many amazing
good deeds for other people
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as you possibly can
by midnight just in case?
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I know. I know.
All right, I'll take it out.
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I'm a little tired, okay? Lay off.
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That movie, minus the part
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where Eleanor gives
away the entire experiment,
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will play before the party tonight.
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Speaking of which, the theme is
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"One Year Down, Infinity to Go."
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Dress is London black tie.
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That means Knightsbridge black tie,
not Kensington
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or, heaven forbid, West Brompton.
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Can you imagine?
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No.
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Also, just after midnight,
25
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in order to reset my processing power,
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I will be violently
eating my Janet babies.
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I'd advise no one look directly at me.
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Copy that.
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So tonight at the party,
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we're gonna go for one more point grab.
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I'm gonna suggest that they
make toasts about each other,
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celebrate their ups and downs,
demonstrate personal growth,
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blah, blah, blah, humanity is saved.
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One more day, guys. Let's finish strong.
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And to that end, as you might know,
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I've been practicing human magic.
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Oh.
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Ta-da.
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Dope.
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So I was thinking...
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No, the Magnificent Dr. Presto
42
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is not performing tonight.
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- Come on, I...
- Dude, magic is always lame.
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But it's especially lame here,
45
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where there's actual magic.
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As a counterargument, check your pocket.
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The other one.
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Oh, shoot, sorry.
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It's my pocket.
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- Ta-da.
- Dope.
51
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You know what? You can perform.
52
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- Really?
- Yeah.
53
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You changed my mind
with that pocket thing.
54
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Oh, boffo.
55
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- Oh, you're being mean.
- Yep.
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I am very excited for tonight.
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And dare I say, you all look so splendid,
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you could work the coat
check at the Met Gala.
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Ooh, speaking of the Met Gala,
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remember that security cam footage
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of Solange and Jay-Z
fighting in the elevator?
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I learned to read lips.
Turns out, she was yelling,
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"No fair, I wanted to be
the one to push the button."
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So, uh, yeah, it wasn't as juicy
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as some people maybe thought it was.
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Hey, gang.
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Had a pretty good round today.
Better close this door.
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I don't want all those
birdies to follow me in here.
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Why?
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Okay, Brent, hurry up and change
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so we can get to the party.
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Oh, right, hang on.
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Uh, Janet gave me this.
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Tuxedo in a can.
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Ooh, you know,
I came this close to firing Janet,
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but she's gotten a lot better.
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Okay, we're not leaving yet.
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I need to show you all something.
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This is the result of
months of observation.
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Now, I know you're gonna think I'm crazy.
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No, why would we think that?
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But there is something
wrong with this neighborhood.
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And it involves the people in this room.
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So crazy that we're
at the end of this thing
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and we have no idea how we did.
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00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:29,417
Janet, any chance you could
get a look inside that obelisk?
87
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:31,044
Check that magic scoreboard?
88
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There is a chance, yes.
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About 1 in 970 trillion.
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Let's give her a whirl.
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It did not work.
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I'll be right back.
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Ugh!
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I feel okay about most of it,
but I just wish
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we had one concrete sign
that Brent has improved.
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One moment where he bumps
into someone and sincerely says,
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"Oops, my bad." You know?
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I would kill for an "oops, my bad."
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Who's a girl gotta fork to get an "oops,
my bad"?
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Hey, hey, hey,
panicking about this experiment
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at crucial moments is kind of my move.
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- Don't fall apart on me, now.
- I won't.
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It's just... you know me.
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On Earth,
I never played a game unless I knew
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I could either win or bribe the ref
106
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so he'd throw it for me.
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And if we lose, I'm gonna be so mad.
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- Ugh!
- Just one more day.
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We're gonna stick to the plan,
not do anything radical.
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Though we could do something...
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Ah, magical.
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You gotta let it go, man.
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She's right.
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I've been suspicious about
this place since day one.
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Over the last few months,
I've been collecting data,
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and now I am positive,
something is truly forked up.
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You didn't tell me about any of this,
muffin.
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Okay, you call her muffin?
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I'm getting a lot of
breaking news at once here.
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I was gathering evidence.
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I didn't wanna compromise
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the integrity of the data collection.
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Oh, so romantic.
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Here's what I know.
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Eleanor and Michael are up to something,
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and it's focused on us.
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I mean, there are, like,
300 people in the neighborhood,
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and somehow they just
spend all of their time
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talking to the six people in this room.
130
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Well, I mean,
who else are they gonna talk to?
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Dumb Shorts Cathy?
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What is your problem with her?
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I mean, shorts? "Cathy"?
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What isn't my problem with her?
135
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Jianyu, are you okay? You look sweaty.
136
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Oh, no. He's fine.
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He always sweats when he's meditating.
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He calls it "sweat-itating."
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No, I mean, um,
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he doesn't talk, so I call it that.
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I'm friends with Sting.
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I can't take it anymore.
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I know something,
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and it's just graduated from hot goss
145
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to relevant AF.
146
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Yes, I'm gonna. I'm gonna.
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That's not Jianyu.
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His name is Jason.
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And he's here by mistake.
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Chidi's been helping him hide
and become a better person.
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00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:49,474
I also knew about this, of course.
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Might as well come clean, darling.
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Hi, Simone.
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00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,523
Jason Mendoza, Jacksonville, Florida.
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Go, Jags, obviously.
Um, what else about me?
156
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I was born in a swimming pool.
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Okay, you never told me about this,
ducky.
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Ducky? I'm gonna have to sit down.
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This is too much.
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Well, I swore I wouldn't tell,
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00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:11,579
and keeping your word is a central tenet
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of deontological ethics.
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Aw, so romantic.
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Okay, let's assume certain things are odd
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about this place. What is your theory?
166
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I don't know.
167
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Maybe this isn't the Good Place.
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Maybe it's a test.
169
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My best guess,
it's some kind of experiment.
170
00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:30,389
We're being observed
in a closed environment.
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Simone, look at this logically.
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We are in paradise.
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There's fresh air, mountains, Janet.
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And yes, some of us are under 5'10",
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but other than that,
it is literally perfect here.
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No, it is not.
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Jason is proof.
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00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,032
And if you need more evidence
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00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:49,533
that this isn't the Good Place,
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clearly he's not the only
one who doesn't belong.
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00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,291
Actually, she's right,
and I know it for a fact.
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For the first time ever,
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I am desperate for you to keep talking.
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00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:02,046
Well, right at the beginning,
I talked to Mike and Eleanor,
185
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,923
and they were like, "Yeah,
don't tell anyone this,
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"but there's a place better than this,
187
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"the Best Place,
188
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and that's where you're headed, amigo."
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I don't think they
actually called you amigo.
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I had to go through the year here,
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kind of a test, I guess,
which, obviously, I aced.
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So at midnight, I'm in the first
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Escalade out of here, baby.
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00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,229
- Brent.
- Yeah?
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00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,605
- Think about this.
- Okay.
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00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:22,400
How could you get into the Best Place?
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00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,277
You would literally have to be
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one of the most incredible
people in the universe.
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I mean, it makes sense to me.
I don't know what to tell you.
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Okay, in the words of Princess Kate
201
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,414
after we came back from
our shopping trip in Ibiza,
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00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:39,083
"There's a lot to unpack here."
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00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,461
Perhaps we should just
put our concerns aside
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and enjoy ourselves.
205
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:44,421
No way.
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00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:47,175
We have to figure out
exactly what is going on here.
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00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:48,927
Okay, just... go to the party,
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00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:50,720
but keep your eyes open.
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00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:51,971
I've got a special mission for us.
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00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,473
- Oh, I...
- Oh, good.
211
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,600
Muffin and Ducky are on the case.
212
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,358
- How's it going?
- Awesome.
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00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:04,567
No, it isn't.
214
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,319
Oh, yeah. Terrible.
215
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,238
Simone knows the neighborhood
isn't what it appears to be.
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00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,990
She's been collecting
evidence for months.
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00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,867
So all that hanging out with Brent
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00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,785
and participating in group activities...
219
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:17,121
Was under false pretenses.
She was observing him.
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00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:18,789
She's been observing everything.
221
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,708
Guys, pick a card.
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00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,460
- Yes!
- No time.
223
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:23,877
The subjects are onto us.
224
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,421
They know something weird is going on,
225
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,632
and it could derail
the entire experiment.
226
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:28,800
Oh, no!
227
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,553
Oh, sorry, uh, that was unintentional.
228
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,182
What?
229
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,351
There's nothing here.
230
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,686
Did you find anything?
231
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:42,438
Just some song lyrics that Michael wrote?
232
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:45,817
"Here's a trippy little ditty
'bout a train to Groovy City.
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00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,902
"Open up your freaky crystal mind
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00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:50,488
and we'll have a cosmic good time."
235
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,531
See, that makes me think we're in hell.
236
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:53,908
Look, we tried to prove your theory,
237
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,576
but it feels like we came up empty.
238
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:58,037
Chidi, there is so much
evidence they've been lying.
239
00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,539
How can you not see that?
240
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,373
Eleanor told me that this
was her first neighborhood.
241
00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:04,043
Maybe some of these
are just honest mistakes.
242
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:08,715
And also she... told me some other stuff
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00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,883
that I really want to be true.
244
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,428
What kind of stuff?
245
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:15,888
Well, it was
246
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:17,682
something about us.
247
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:23,438
Why does everything I do
fall apart so close to the end?
248
00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:25,815
My first experiment, now this experiment.
249
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,775
I only got halfway through writing
250
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,652
"The Purple Train to Groovy City."
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00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,403
I just ran out of creative juice.
252
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:33,072
Focus.
253
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,407
We cannot let this slip away
from us at the last second.
254
00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:37,535
New plan: Forget the toasts.
255
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,203
We do nothing.
256
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,539
We hope that our early successes make up
257
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,540
for the embarrassing mess we've become.
258
00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,626
Like Facebook or America.
259
00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:48,087
Okay, sound good? Michael?
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00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,464
We have no way to know
261
00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:52,383
what this really means
for the experiment.
262
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,250
I don't think we can play it safe.
263
00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:56,596
I have a plan. It's risky.
264
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:57,888
But it might be the only way to get them
265
00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:00,767
to where they need to be.
266
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,685
Do you trust me?
267
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,312
Yeah. Fork it.
268
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:05,688
Whatever it is, I'm in.
269
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,272
I'm always down for forking it.
270
00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:08,482
We trust you Michael.
271
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,401
Then trust
272
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,695
the Magnificent Dr. Presto.
273
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:15,073
Man, you cannot pull that hat out
274
00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:17,617
after you ask us if we trust you.
275
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,119
Soul mates?
276
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,371
That's what Eleanor said,
that we're soul mates?
277
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,914
Yep. Pretty neat, huh?
278
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,333
I think it's pretty neat.
279
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,626
Do you think it's pretty neat,
intensely, forever?
280
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,088
Chidi, I really like you.
281
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:32,214
But I don't think we're soul mates.
282
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,383
Because I don't think
soul mates actually exist.
283
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,261
Right.
284
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,930
Right, right.
285
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:40,598
- Right?
- Think rationally.
286
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,516
Isn't it weird that she
only told one of us
287
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,559
that we're soul mates?
288
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,604
Is it odd? Yes.
289
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,023
Does it mean that Eleanor's
motives are questionable?
290
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,775
Also yes.
291
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:53,277
But does it suggest that
she wasn't being truthful?
292
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:54,529
Yes.
293
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:55,571
Okay, I'm starting to see your point.
294
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,073
Whoa.
295
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,786
What does that mean?
296
00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:03,495
Why is it only four of us?
Why not Tahani and Jason?
297
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:04,705
Why are there emojis?
298
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,290
I mean, one of them's party hat guy.
299
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,000
I mean, that's good, right?
He's friendly.
300
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,284
It's better than
thermometer guy or angry cat
301
00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:11,838
or smiling poop coil.
302
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:13,255
Okay, we have to get back to the party
303
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,923
before Eleanor and
Michael notice we're missing.
304
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,300
Great plan. Let's kiss.
305
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:18,552
Sorry,
still thinking about the soul mate thing.
306
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:19,929
- Let's go.
- Okay.
307
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,472
Ladies and gentlemen...
308
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,349
I can't believe I'm saying this...
309
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:25,893
The Magnificent Dr. Presto.
310
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:28,771
Thank you.
311
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:29,980
Now, I know some of you
312
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,649
may not believe in magic.
313
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,400
Well, I think they believe in some magic.
314
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,184
Yesterday everybody ate a lollipop
315
00:11:35,319 --> 00:11:37,363
that let them talk to birds.
316
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,199
Okay, but this is Earth magic.
317
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,785
And it's harder.
318
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,578
And if you don't understand that,
319
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,914
I am here
320
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:49,125
to change your mind.
321
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:51,794
Oh, come on.
322
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,170
It started out as a dollar bill
323
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,881
and now it's four quarters.
324
00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:56,382
"Change your mind"?
325
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,758
- Michael, it's three quarters.
- What?
326
00:11:57,842 --> 00:12:00,887
Oh, three quarters.
327
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,806
Three quarters, even harder!
328
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,766
Thank you!
329
00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:07,059
Can you make them clap harder?
330
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,895
They see what they see, man.
331
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,270
Did you guys find anything?
332
00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:11,939
Yes, proof that the four of us...
333
00:12:12,023 --> 00:12:14,233
And only the four of us...
Are being forked with.
334
00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:15,526
But we still don't have any hard proof
335
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:16,986
that this place is evil
336
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,946
or that Michael and
Eleanor are nefarious,
337
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,630
so, you know,
no one's heart needs to break just yet.
338
00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:23,910
Yeah, I'm with him. This place is fine.
339
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,786
Hey, if you guys don't make
the cut up to the Best Place,
340
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,663
I'll try to put in a good word for you.
341
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:28,997
You guys got business cards?
342
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,417
Brent, I need a volunteer. Come on up.
343
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,255
Okay, Brent,
I want you to take off your wristwatch
344
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,090
and place it in my hat.
345
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:39,759
Now, this is a Rolex.
346
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,226
It's the exact same watch
Richie Sambora wears.
347
00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:43,638
- Ah.
- So be careful.
348
00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:48,142
And now the Magnificent Dr. Presto
349
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,186
will transform y...
350
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:51,854
Oh. Oh.
351
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,524
- Oh, my gosh!
- Whoa! Oh!
352
00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:57,860
No, oh, Brent!
353
00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:02,364
Brent, can you hear me?
354
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,408
If it somehow helps,
355
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:07,119
there's a small dove in your pocket!
356
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:11,540
Never mind.
357
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,293
Brent, I'm so sorry.
358
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,796
I must have screwed up the trick somehow.
359
00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:18,881
Hold on,
we're gonna get you out of there.
360
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:19,966
Yeah, you better!
361
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,175
I got a hell of a lawsuit on my hands.
362
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:22,634
I'm gonna frickin' own this place.
363
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:23,844
Okay.
364
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:25,679
Okay, everyone, uh, please disperse.
365
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,264
We'll let you know when it's safe.
366
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:30,268
Uh, you three, stay here.
Keep an eye on Brent.
367
00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:31,518
We're gonna try and fix this remotely
368
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,938
using eternal-being technology.
369
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:35,940
Tahani, Jianyu, try and find a rope.
370
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,066
Righto.
371
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,609
Okay, so what do we do,
372
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,235
try to climb down or wait for the rope?
373
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:42,070
Neither, we get the fork outta here.
374
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:43,989
Chidi, a giant hell-hole just opened up
375
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,491
and swallowed one of us.
376
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,492
I don't care what this place really is.
377
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:49,369
Giant holes are bad, and we should go.
378
00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:52,122
Or giant holes are bad,
so if someone falls into one,
379
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,749
you try to help get him out.
380
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:55,042
Whoa.
381
00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:56,502
I'm not scared!
382
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:57,836
I'm shouting so you know I'm okay.
383
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,880
I am very brave.
384
00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:01,590
Whoo, I hope this works.
385
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,176
We basically just confirmed
that we're lying to them.
386
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,761
Oh, man. Was this a bad idea?
387
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,387
I mean, what if this was a bad idea?
388
00:14:07,471 --> 00:14:09,421
It wasn't, homey. It was a good idea.
389
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,058
Can anyone else weigh in?
390
00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:12,310
I'm serious.
391
00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:14,061
In football, trying to run out the clock
392
00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:16,063
and hoping for the best never works.
393
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:17,397
It's called "prevent defense."
394
00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:18,649
You don't take any chances
395
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,359
and just try and hang on to your lead.
396
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:24,572
But prevent defense just
prevents you from winning.
397
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:26,365
It's always better to try something.
398
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:29,660
Jason, that was... coherent.
399
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:32,079
Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to.
400
00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:34,040
It's a good plan, Michael.
401
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,833
Hopefully they've bonded
enough as a group to rescue Brent,
402
00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:39,419
call me, get a train,
and all head out of here together.
403
00:14:39,503 --> 00:14:41,421
But was it a mistake
to have Brent fall in?
404
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,006
We could have had Chidi fall in, right?
405
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:45,051
Or a cute baby panda
406
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,677
or maybe, you know,
like, a box of doughnuts?
407
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:47,719
Everyone loves doughnuts.
408
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,597
Brent was the right choice.
409
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:52,016
It's not a tough call
whether to save Chidi
410
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:54,142
because he's a brilliant and kind person
411
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:56,395
with a caboose you can
bounce a quarter off of,
412
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:57,854
and I know because I've done it.
413
00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:01,567
We threw Brent in there
because there is no reason
414
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,320
any of them should help
him because Brent sucks.
415
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:06,530
Brent is the opposite
of a box of doughnuts.
416
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:08,032
Toilet full of broccoli.
417
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:10,993
Yeah, kinda,
Brent is a toilet full of broccoli.
418
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,954
But because he sucks so bad,
419
00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:15,998
if they do risk their safety to help him,
420
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,291
they'll get more points.
421
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,167
Basically it's a Hail Mary.
422
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:22,004
It's risky, but if we complete it,
423
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:23,714
we win the game.
424
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:26,717
That was two good analogies in a row.
425
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:29,804
I'm now worried that he's
a demon in a Jason suit.
426
00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:32,597
Are we really in hell?
427
00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:34,683
I mean,
I didn't lead a perfect life on Earth,
428
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,852
but I worked very hard.
429
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:39,146
Making fun of people
you'd never even met.
430
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:40,647
Well, I guess you must be right, Simone,
431
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,231
because you always have to be.
432
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,610
Hey,
are you the bottom of a coal-fired pizza?
433
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,738
- Why, 'cause I'm burnt?
- Gah! You are always right.
434
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:50,491
Well, if it is hell, I know why I'm here.
435
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,076
Almond milk.
436
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,953
I drank so much of it
437
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,954
despite the negative
environmental impacts.
438
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:58,165
Okay, wherever we are,
I do not wanna be here
439
00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,799
when the clock hits zero, okay?
440
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,543
Now might be our only chance to escape.
441
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,670
Not without Brent.
442
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:04,212
Do you think if the roles were reversed,
443
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:05,547
he would waste any time rescuing you?
444
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,174
Maybe.
445
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:10,093
If Elle Macpherson were nearby
and he wanted to impress her
446
00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:13,097
or if he thought that I was
a prince he could ransom...
447
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:14,306
That's not the point.
448
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,934
He is a person in a hole.
449
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,562
I have a duty to help him get out.
450
00:16:19,728 --> 00:16:21,229
What he would do is irrelevant.
451
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:22,481
I don't think it is.
452
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,441
If you do a science
experiment a thousand times
453
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:27,653
and always get the same results,
you move on.
454
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:31,073
We've given Brent a thousand
chances to be a good person.
455
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,784
In one of them, he was so awful,
456
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,952
you punched him in the face.
457
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:38,288
Okay, but when I did that,
I thought cutting him
458
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:39,831
out of our group meant that he would have
459
00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:43,002
to find another place
in heaven to hang out.
460
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,212
That's changed. I can't just leave him.
461
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,632
Well,
462
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,426
I respect your position.
463
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:54,054
I respect yours.
464
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,477
Look, I know everything's
really scary right now,
465
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:02,855
but I just have to say it.
466
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,774
That was the most boring
breakup I've ever seen.
467
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,530
Hey, Chidi, shake it off.
468
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,073
Another bus comes every 15 minutes.
469
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:14,116
Brent.
470
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:23,459
Where are they?
471
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:24,876
They never called a train.
472
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,586
They must have taken Brent's Escalade.
473
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:27,880
Oh, that's good.
474
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,048
The important thing is
that the group bonded
475
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:31,425
and stayed together.
476
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:33,302
Hello! Could someone help us?
477
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:34,720
- Us?
- Yeah.
478
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,888
This frickin' genius tried
to help me and he fell in.
479
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:38,348
I thought you were smart, man.
480
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,017
Are you serious right now?
481
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,353
Well, turns out, the group did not bond.
482
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:43,979
The group snapped in half.
483
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:47,608
Will you help us?
484
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,693
These rocks are really sharp down here.
485
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,278
- I'm scared.
- I'm not.
486
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,447
- Just give us a second.
- Guys, I think we're cooked.
487
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:54,615
It's over.
488
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:57,284
No, no way. I am not giving up.
489
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:59,453
I told you, I only play games I can win.
490
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,788
And I played this game,
so that means we can win.
491
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,665
- I don't think that tracks.
- Shut up. What do you know?
492
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,459
Literally everything, but keep going.
493
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:07,836
I am liking this energy from you.
494
00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:10,881
We have eight minutes left,
so that means we keep trying.
495
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:12,007
What else can we try?
496
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:12,841
We've already blown everything up.
497
00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:14,308
We can't blow it up again.
498
00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:15,760
If there's one thing
I know in this world,
499
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:18,494
it's that you can always
blow up the same thing twice.
500
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,350
He's right.
501
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:23,352
We have one last move here.
502
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:26,146
Guys, we are so sorry about your ordeal.
503
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:28,163
We just have a few questions for you.
504
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:31,026
Uh, where are John and Simone?
We can't find them.
505
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,529
They left.
506
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,238
- I don't know where they went.
- Typical.
507
00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:36,865
Disloyal jerks.
508
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:40,160
You know, man, actually,
they really tried with you
509
00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:41,703
and you made it very
hard to be your friend.
510
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:44,456
You wanna know what happened?
They got jealous
511
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:45,707
because I'm going to the Best Place.
512
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:46,875
They bugged out.
513
00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,460
You're not going to the Best Place!
514
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:49,794
Don't you get it? They're torturing you.
515
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:51,547
They're torturing all of us!
516
00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:55,175
Because this is the Bad Place.
517
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,227
Oh, man!
518
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:07,144
I can't believe you figured it out!
519
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:08,188
Wait.
520
00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:09,898
He's right?
521
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,400
This is the Bad Place?
522
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:13,443
Yeah. Damn it, he's right.
523
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:14,819
Yeah, we had a good run,
though, didn't we?
524
00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:16,155
Yeah, we did.
525
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,282
So... no Best Place?
526
00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:19,742
"Oh, so no Best Place?"
527
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:21,994
Oh, Brent, you big white oaf.
528
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,579
Never change, bud.
529
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,455
Well, I guess we should let him know
530
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:26,665
you guys are on your way.
531
00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:28,250
- Yeah.
- Wait. On our way where?
532
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:29,668
The actual Bad Place.
533
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,836
They let us toy with
you a little just for kicks,
534
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,797
but now you're going...
535
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,091
And trust me on this.
536
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,052
It's a lot worse.
537
00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:46,935
- Well done.
- Let's hope it works.
538
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:48,436
We only have a minute left.
539
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,148
Man, crazy twist, huh?
540
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:52,816
It's like something out
of a Chip Driver novel.
541
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,067
Leave me alone, Brent.
542
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,362
I'm kind of freaking out over here, man.
543
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:57,821
You're my only real friend.
544
00:19:57,905 --> 00:19:59,823
I'm not your friend.
I don't even like you.
545
00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,617
- But you helped me.
- Yeah, I did.
546
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,368
Because I have this stupid moral code
547
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:04,911
that forces me to help everyone.
548
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,997
But you have never helped anyone
549
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,957
because you don't
care about other people,
550
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,917
which is the bare minimum
that a person has to do,
551
00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:12,961
just care a little about the
other people around you,
552
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,047
and you can't do it.
553
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,511
What are you trying to say here?
554
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:25,641
You are a bad person.
555
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:28,977
You can do this.
556
00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:30,938
Come on, dumdum. Faster.
557
00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:36,235
No, I'm not.
558
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,028
I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.
I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.
559
00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:39,655
I'm not a bad person.
560
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,197
I'm not.
561
00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:43,325
I'm a good person!
562
00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:48,122
Oh, man.
563
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:50,988
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
564
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:52,960
No, no.
565
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:55,838
Look, Chidi, whatever happens next,
566
00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:58,298
I, um... I need to say this to you.
567
00:20:58,465 --> 00:20:59,967
All right? I am...
568
00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:03,887
I am so, so sorr...
569
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:13,313
Sorry.
570
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:14,522
Eleanor asked me to bring her this
571
00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,274
the second the experiment was over.
572
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:17,942
Well, you know what they say.
573
00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:20,779
It's zero o'clock in the sky somewhere.