1 00:00:04,212 --> 00:00:07,340 Oh, Janet, you disappoint me. 2 00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:09,300 I expected more of a fight from you. 3 00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:12,053 Yet here you are, all alone in the Bad Place, 4 00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:16,141 rendered powerless by a measly magnet jail. 5 00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:21,688 It's okay, I guess. 6 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,315 What is the issue now? Hmm? 7 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,192 That's not how Michael laughs. 8 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,319 It's more of a delighted giggle. 9 00:00:27,486 --> 00:00:28,945 She's right. 10 00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:31,030 You need to nail his subtleties and mannerisms 11 00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,964 for this to properly work as torture. 12 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,119 My problem with the role is 13 00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,788 that I haven't fully figured out Michael's motivation yet. 14 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:43,251 Like I'm inside Michael, but I need to be inside Michael. 15 00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,336 Hmm, you know, it actually feels more like torture 16 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,588 when you discuss your "acting process." 17 00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,674 You know what? You don't get it. 18 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:51,551 If you really want to know Michael's motivation, 19 00:00:51,635 --> 00:00:53,219 it's the same as the rest of my friends... 20 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:55,305 Loyalty, empathy, and love. 21 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:56,431 Eww. 22 00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:57,890 And that's why they will prevail. 23 00:00:57,974 --> 00:00:59,308 I hate to break it to you, hon. 24 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:00,810 They're not gonna prevail. 25 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,606 No one's coming to save you! 26 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,318 Oof, getting colder. 27 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:09,735 I know! I could feel it. 28 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:10,736 You know, it was wrong. 29 00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:12,370 I'm just... I'm in my head now. 30 00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:17,577 Hey, Mikey, I have a question about our plan to save Janet. 31 00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,496 Is there it yet? 32 00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:21,205 I do have a plan, yes. 33 00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:23,833 But to be honest, I have no idea if it will work. 34 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,167 Maybe Glenn could help. 35 00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:28,630 Yo, Glenn, how should we rescue Janet? 36 00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:31,758 He doesn't know. 37 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,760 Listen, Jason, old friend, 38 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,887 I already gave Eleanor and Tahani 39 00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:38,265 all their afterlife memories back. 40 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:42,060 I haven't restored yours for obvious reasons. 41 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:45,689 But I think to maximize our chances of survival, 42 00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:48,733 it's time that you remember everything we've been through. 43 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,319 Now prepare yourself. This might be intense. 44 00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:57,617 Oh, dip! 45 00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:00,578 Do you remember everything? 46 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:02,789 Yes, last time I was in the Bad Place, 47 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,624 I threw a Molotov cocktail. 48 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,375 That was sick. 49 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,003 I was afraid that you'd watch 300 years of memories 50 00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:10,421 and that would be your takeaway. 51 00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:13,883 Buddy, I did that to help you know what not to do. 52 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,843 Impulse control is critical. 53 00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:18,013 Fight the urge to blow stuff up, 54 00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:20,890 even if you feel like we're in a jam. 55 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:22,558 Got it? 56 00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:25,645 I mean, that's very lame, but yeah. 57 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,314 I understand. 58 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,858 Wait, can I have all my memories back again? 59 00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:32,027 I forgot most of them. 60 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,578 Welcome, everyone. 61 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:44,956 Janet will be unavailable for a bit. 62 00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:48,335 She's undergoing some routine system maintenance. 63 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:49,877 Oh, I know what that means. 64 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:51,421 Eye lift. Maybe an ear tuck. 65 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,423 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm? Mm. 66 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,550 When we don't have Janet, 67 00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:59,012 we like to refresh your memories of your old lives 68 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,846 when you did things for yourselves. 69 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:03,016 We call it Earth Day. 70 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,142 And yes, we know that's a thing on Earth, 71 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:06,352 but what are they gonna do? 72 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:07,853 Sue us? 73 00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:11,232 So get ready for some fun, lo-fi activities. 74 00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:13,193 This group over here is gonna knit. 75 00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:16,571 You folks are gonna do your favorite activity... 76 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,239 Gardening. 77 00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:20,283 Oh, man, we better get something better than that. 78 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:24,453 And you five are going to a gorgeous remote lake house. 79 00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:27,165 Swimming, water skiing, the works. 80 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:29,625 Suck it, gardeners! 81 00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,419 Why do I feel like that's not the first time 82 00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:33,338 he's screamed those words? 83 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:39,094 Ugh. Get me down from here, you tiny butthole. 84 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:41,095 Ow! 85 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:42,763 Thank you for keeping me safe 86 00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:44,599 from my sexy bad girl sister-aunt. 87 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,475 Eww. 88 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,436 I know that I've caused you a lot of trouble in the past... 89 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:49,604 Classic Derek... 90 00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:52,482 But from now on, I'm here to help. 91 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,775 I'd feel a lot more confident if you weren't holding 92 00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,652 a champagne glass full of Scrabble letters, 93 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:57,946 but you're all we got. 94 00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:00,406 You can keep the neighborhood running, right? 95 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:03,410 Well, I wasn't technically designed for this, 96 00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:07,371 but to be fair, I wasn't designed for anything. 97 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,374 Okay? It's gonna be tough. 98 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:11,626 But so far so Derek, right? 99 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,086 Clouds, Derek. 100 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,879 Ground, very Derek. 101 00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:17,590 Everything seems to be going... 102 00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:18,800 Derek? 103 00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:21,009 How dare you, madam? 104 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,678 Just try and keep it together. 105 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:23,804 You try and keep it together. 106 00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,306 We're gonna take the humans far away 107 00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,475 from the center of town and help lighten your load. 108 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:28,643 Great. That would be really great. 109 00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:30,270 - Okay. - Okay. 110 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:31,520 All right, babe, it's go time. You ready? 111 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,148 Absolutely. 112 00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:35,024 I feel very confident with you in charge. 113 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,525 In the words of my godfather, 114 00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,402 acting in what can only be described in hindsight 115 00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:42,073 as his most problematic role, "You da man now, dog!" 116 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,741 As always, thank you for finding the quickest 117 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:44,950 possible way to say things. 118 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,452 Now head off to the lake house, 119 00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,830 and do your fabulous Tahani hostess thing. 120 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,040 Actually, uh, now that you bring it up, 121 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,251 Michael and Jason are rescuing Janet, 122 00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,420 and you're running things here. 123 00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,255 Even Derek has an important job. 124 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,342 I'd like to be more useful. 125 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:02,802 What is it that you Americans say? 126 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,429 Uh, insert me, coachman! 127 00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:07,306 Put me in, coach. 128 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,058 Babe, we need these humans 129 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,060 to stay happy and occupied, all right? 130 00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:12,927 So just pump 'em full of champagne 131 00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,313 and those tiny little sandwiches, 132 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:15,447 and keep 'em dazzled. 133 00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,733 Of course, though I'd never serve 134 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,360 finger sandwiches at a lake house. 135 00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:21,196 I mean, what am I? Welsh? 136 00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:22,697 Are you? I don't know. 137 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:25,533 No, right? 138 00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,660 So this is the Bad Place, huh? 139 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,245 Not bad. 140 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,539 No, it is. It's very bad. 141 00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:34,918 Okay, we have to move quietly. 142 00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:37,586 We can't be seen by anyone until we get to Shawn. 143 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,923 It's the only way to rescue Janet. 144 00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:42,675 Uh, Michael? I'm scared. 145 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,260 Me too, bud. 146 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,678 I mean, what if all this time apart 147 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,097 has changed me and Janet's relationship? 148 00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:50,892 What if that special connection is gone? 149 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,768 Yeah. 150 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,104 I mean, for me, it's scary that we're standing 151 00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,981 in the birth place of evil 152 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,983 surrounded by billions of demons 153 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,527 who want to destroy us. 154 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,738 Hmm, I guess we both have things we're scared about. 155 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,699 What do we do with Glenn? 156 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,660 Just leave him here. 157 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:11,412 Hope no stray dogs come by and drink him up. 158 00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,706 Hello, all! 159 00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:16,292 I took the liberty of preparing a few simple snacks. 160 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,378 Whew, this place is nice! 161 00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:20,755 Did anyone else see that movie "The Lake House" 162 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,841 with Keanu and Sandy B? 163 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,899 Oh, I love a movie with gentle magic. 164 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,510 Give me a time-traveling mailbox 165 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,095 or a mother-daughter body switch, 166 00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:30,306 or like, uh, Sarah Michelle Gellar as a chef 167 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,940 and her food tastes amazing because she cries in it? 168 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:35,854 I should've been a screenwriter. 169 00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:37,605 Yeah, this'll do. I guess. 170 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,356 I got dibs on the master bedroom. 171 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,775 Um, Simone, where's Chidi? 172 00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:42,943 He decided to just stay at home and read. 173 00:06:43,027 --> 00:06:44,695 He said swimming in lakes scares him. 174 00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:47,656 To be fair, most things scare him. 175 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,992 Well, never fear, 176 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,662 you all stay and enjoy the full-sized sandwiches. 177 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:55,206 I shall go and fetch Chidi. 178 00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:58,375 Tahani is on the job. 179 00:06:58,459 --> 00:07:03,423 Perv 'stache, four-eyes, bee monster. 180 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,342 Whoa, is that you? 181 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,260 Technically, yes. 182 00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:10,972 That's a version of me I no longer recognize. 183 00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:14,517 Behind that handsome smile was so much cruelty, 184 00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:18,062 so much pain inflicted on so many 185 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,606 with such a glee. 186 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,066 Shameful. 187 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,986 What echoes of this former self await me here? 188 00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:27,739 I feel you. 189 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:30,241 It was always for me hard to go back to my old high school. 190 00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:32,285 So many memories. 191 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,455 Also the junkyard machine crushed it into tiny cubes. 192 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,457 If we get out of here alive, 193 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:40,460 remind me to re-erase your teen years. 194 00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:47,133 Come on, guys. Hurry back. 195 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,469 Oh, hey, Wanda. 196 00:07:49,677 --> 00:07:50,469 Everything okay? 197 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,555 Barg-de-barg-de-barg-de-barg. 198 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,015 Come again? 199 00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,141 Whoa. 200 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,726 Barg-de-barg-de-barg-de-barg. 201 00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,395 - Derek! - Oh, hey! 202 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:03,983 So, uh, things are not going well. 203 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,568 - Hi, there. - Hi, there! 204 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,335 You said you could handle this! 205 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,321 Yeah, well, it turns out being a single father 206 00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:12,700 to 300 kids is not that easy, Eleanor. 207 00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:15,077 Okay, well, the four humans are still at the lake house. 208 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,330 So we can figure this out. 209 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,831 - Oh. - What are you doing here? 210 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,083 I came to get Chidi. He decided to stay home. 211 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,378 Chidi's up there? Right now? 212 00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:26,673 Oh, Chidi. There you are. 213 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:28,925 I'm sorry. I should've told you. 214 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:31,135 I decided to just stay home and read. 215 00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:34,013 Swimming in lakes scares me, and so does water skiing. 216 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,682 We know all that, Chidi. 217 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,267 We never expected you to meet the group at the lake house. 218 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,729 We had a special solo activity planned for you. 219 00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,147 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 220 00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:44,899 What is it? 221 00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:50,154 We have hidden several clues in this apartment to a puzzle. 222 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:53,198 Ooh! I love puzzles! 223 00:08:53,282 --> 00:08:54,867 They're so much fun, but they're also like homework. 224 00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:56,244 Win-win. 225 00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,037 Well, this one's a doozy because when you solve it, 226 00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:00,456 you get the answer to the truth about the universe. 227 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,876 Spoiler alert, I guess. 228 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,128 Hey, Tahani, since Chidi's off and running, 229 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,422 what do you say you head back to the lake house? 230 00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:10,856 Perhaps I should stay and help with the clues. 231 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,344 Oh, you've done so much helping already. 232 00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:14,762 Plus everyone's back at the lake house 233 00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:16,097 with no party hostess, 234 00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,016 which is obviously less than ideal. 235 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:19,725 Right? So go on. Get! 236 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,561 - Of course. - Yep. 237 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,437 - Good luck, Chidi. - Okay. 238 00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:26,273 So what's my first clue? 239 00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:27,942 You've already gotten it. 240 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:30,361 Ooh! 241 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,454 Lot of memories in this room. 242 00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:41,873 My old improv team, 243 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:44,208 Laughistopheles, used to perform here. 244 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,837 Man, we were so unfunny. 245 00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,923 This is hour 52 of the 4,000-hour presentation 246 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,842 on the future of torture. 247 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,135 Before I start, 248 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:55,844 I just want to commend everyone here 249 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,305 on the collective B.O. 250 00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,599 and coffee breath in this room right now. 251 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,142 Give yourselves a hand. 252 00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,980 He's gonna be on stage for 4,000 hours? 253 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,356 - Shh. - Here's what I think. 254 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,024 We should throw a Molotov... Jason! 255 00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:10,275 What? I didn't say cocktail. 256 00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:11,694 I could've meant Molotov anything. 257 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:12,778 - You don't know. - Just trust me. 258 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,280 I have a plan. 259 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,365 Humans are worse than ever. We have to innovate. 260 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,492 Sure, poking sticks work great, 261 00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:21,037 but should those sticks be sharper or hotter? 262 00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:22,496 Should they, counterintuitively, 263 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,998 be less hot? 264 00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:26,265 Let's begin with slide number one of 7,000. 265 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:31,046 Nice speech. Not! 266 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,925 What's up, dingus? 267 00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:37,928 Oh, no. Oh, that's not good. 268 00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,806 Oh, what are you guys... oh, no! 269 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,933 Don't do that! That's not Derek! 270 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,517 Derek. 271 00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:44,977 I'm going back to the lake house to entertain 272 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:46,603 because apparently that's all I'm good for. 273 00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:47,896 - Okay. - Gonna need some 274 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,773 party supplies... cocktail napkins 275 00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:51,457 with a cute lake-related slogan. 276 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,445 Maybe they can say, "Better lake than never." 277 00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:55,530 I'm sorry. 278 00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,239 I just got nothing left in the tank. 279 00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,118 Derek, when you get rebooted, 280 00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:01,326 you become more advanced, right? 281 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:02,829 - Yeah. - Well, perhaps then 282 00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:04,204 you'd be more capable of controlling the neighborhood 283 00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:05,540 Hey, yeah, yeah! 284 00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:06,915 You said you wanted to make this up to us. 285 00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,251 Well, now is your chance. 286 00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:09,501 - Yes! - Yes! 287 00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:11,628 Derek! 288 00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:13,088 What are you doing here, Vicky? 289 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,757 You're early, and do you ever take that suit off? 290 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,383 - It smells terrible. - It does? 291 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:17,667 No need to be alarmed. 292 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,053 I know this might look like Michael, 293 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,596 the traitorous slam pig. 294 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:22,913 However, this is actually our very own Vicky 295 00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:25,017 wearing the latest in demon technology. 296 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,395 A custom-made lookalike skin suit. 297 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,772 Spin around for us, would you, hon? 298 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,440 As you are all aware, 299 00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,609 our current system suffers from diminishing returns. 300 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,569 Sure, the first time someone gets butthole spiders, 301 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:36,904 he's miserable, 302 00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,363 but soon the humans get used to it. 303 00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:40,575 And worse, the spiders get bored. 304 00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:42,534 - Yeah. - These personalized skin suits 305 00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:46,622 represent the dawn of a new era: Torture 2.0. 306 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,499 Oh. 307 00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,125 And speaking of which, 308 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:54,630 I figured DemonCon would be the best place to surprise you 309 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,008 with my greatest invention. 310 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:59,218 Come on out, Jason! 311 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,265 I had the boys down in RandD make a Jason suit. 312 00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:07,267 I thought it'd be fun new way to torture Janet. 313 00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:08,436 Come on. Come on. 314 00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:09,853 - Here you go. - I didn't okay this. 315 00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:12,064 I know, but hey, I'm Vicky. 316 00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:13,316 I'm a total munch. 317 00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:14,942 That you are. Good point. 318 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:16,277 Hmm. 319 00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:17,945 Not bad. 320 00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:20,739 They went a little overboard on the cheekbones, but still. 321 00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,575 Wait, who's in there? 322 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,160 - Glenn. - Makes sense. 323 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:25,912 Get an idiot to play an idiot. 324 00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:27,788 I was beginning to wonder where you were, Glenn. 325 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:30,124 I'm right here in Jason. 326 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,168 Definitely not a big bucket of goo. 327 00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:34,003 Okay. Say, boss, 328 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,504 what do you say we put these innovative suits 329 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,797 of yours to work? 330 00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:39,133 We'll go torture Good Janet, 331 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,634 and, uh, let you know how it goes. 332 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,011 Which way is it again? 333 00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:43,637 Wait. I have a better idea. 334 00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:46,849 I say we torture Good Janet right here, right now 335 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,142 live on stage. 336 00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:49,676 Rufus, go get the Good Janet. 337 00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:52,938 This part of your plan seems risky. 338 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,565 This was not part of my plan. 339 00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:57,318 Oh, thank God. I thought you had a bad plan. 340 00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:00,905 Okay, it's easy. 341 00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:02,323 Just hit the button. 342 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,866 You've seen Mindy do it a million times. 343 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,409 Yeah. Here we go. 344 00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,286 No, no, no! 345 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,705 Don't kill me, me. Don't do it! 346 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,582 Huh. 347 00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:13,250 Now why is that so hard? 348 00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,127 I kinda... you know what? 349 00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,420 I see what I gotta do. 350 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:17,922 Just kind of look at this... 351 00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:19,882 Derek! 352 00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:26,597 Excellent. 353 00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:30,317 What's up, dude? 354 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:34,563 Eleanor, I have really made love to the Queen's corgi. 355 00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:36,172 Royally screwed the pooch? 356 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:38,234 I convinced Derek to reboot himself 357 00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:41,153 because I thought he'd come back smarter and more powerful, 358 00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:43,739 but instead, he's gone, and the Janet babies have... 359 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,200 - What? - Look. 360 00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:47,367 What were you thinking? 361 00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:48,577 I just wanted to be useful. 362 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,537 All I ever get to do here is throw parties, 363 00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,331 which is all I ever got to do back on Earth. 364 00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:54,417 Now I've ruined everything. 365 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,127 No. You gave us a way out. 366 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,411 So I fixed everything. 367 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,464 No, you've made things difficult in a new way, 368 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:01,799 but I can make it work. 369 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,592 Well, the important thing is, I did something. 370 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:04,885 Be quiet and follow my lead. 371 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,178 - Yes, ma'am. - Chidi? 372 00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:07,555 Come on out, bud. 373 00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,432 Okay! Am I close? 374 00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:11,642 No, there's like 4,000 clues in here. 375 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,810 You found five. I'm just gonna skip to the end. 376 00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:17,064 This puzzle was going to take you 377 00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:19,191 on adventures all over the neighborhood. 378 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,152 Horseback riding, hot air ballooning, 379 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:23,195 and I asked Tahani to be involved 380 00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,412 because she did all those things on Earth. 381 00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,324 You've been in paradise for a month, 382 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,493 and you're still so reluctant to try new activities. 383 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:30,827 Yeah, I know. 384 00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:33,873 I'm just not a "new experience" kind of guy. 385 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:37,960 I mean, my comfort zone is basically, like, that chair, 386 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:41,297 and honestly, the arms are a little sharp. 387 00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:45,926 I want you to believe that you're safe here, 388 00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:48,179 that you can trust me. 389 00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:50,890 Do you trust me, Chidi? 390 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,184 Yes. I really do. 391 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:56,019 Then come with me. 392 00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:59,065 These personalized skin suits are a true game changer. 393 00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:02,485 Imagine being able to torment a human not as yourself, 394 00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:04,570 but as their wife or ex-wife, 395 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,280 or just some mouthy broad. 396 00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:10,117 They are so convincing, they even work on a Good Janet! 397 00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,952 Oh. Hey! 398 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:16,332 Great, more Vicky. 399 00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:18,041 Hey, your Michael impression stinks 400 00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:19,825 almost as much as your suit. Pfft. 401 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,670 Why does everyone keep saying that? 402 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,504 Welcome, Janet. We have a special guest for you today. 403 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:29,178 Hi, Janet, it's me. Jason. 404 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:32,431 Your boyfriend. I really miss you. 405 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:36,143 I know we were in a fight before, 406 00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:41,357 but I hope you've forgiven me because I love you, girl. 407 00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:43,484 Not a girl. 408 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:45,569 - Well, Janet... - Yeah? 409 00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,154 How does that make you feel? 410 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:49,698 Terrible! 411 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,370 Adequate work, Glenn. 412 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,487 Rufus, take the Janet back to her cell. 413 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:57,789 - No, no, no. - Oh, no, please. 414 00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,792 Uh, let us take Janet back ourselves. 415 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,377 I wanna get a little extra 416 00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,003 torture time in on the way there. 417 00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:04,422 I don't see why not. 418 00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:07,549 Hello, dummies! It's me, Michael! 419 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,884 I'm just kidding. 420 00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:11,220 It's me, Vicky, in a Michael suit. 421 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,515 What's going on here? 422 00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:17,143 I was never told that I had an understudy. 423 00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:22,022 There you go, buddy. You're doing great. 424 00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:23,315 Where are we going? 425 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,818 Um, somewhere fun. Just follow my voice. 426 00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:30,739 Oh. 427 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:34,117 This is, uh, kind of fun. 428 00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:37,412 I'm very scared, but also I like it? 429 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:39,999 - Hi, there. - Hi, whoever you are. 430 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,708 Uh, don't mind us. We're just doing a trust thing. 431 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,252 Hi, there. 432 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,754 What was that sound? 433 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,881 - Uh, a unicorn died. - What? 434 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:50,115 No, I mean, not a unicorn. Uh, my mistake. 435 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:53,512 Just a... a regular horse that someone stabbed in the head. 436 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,098 What? 437 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,350 What in the name of Kevin Spacey's self-made 438 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,102 Christmas Eve video message to try to get back 439 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,895 on "House of Cards" is going on here? 440 00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:04,106 - Michael. - Who are you? 441 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,690 You had this the whole time? 442 00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,609 Yeah, I wanted to explode a bunch of demons, 443 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,195 but you told me I should wait. 444 00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:10,862 - So I did. - Vicky! 445 00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:13,282 Why did you build a second Michael suit? 446 00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,951 He didn't! No, I mean, I didn't. 447 00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:17,620 Um, oh, look. 448 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,375 It can't be. 449 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,836 Yes, it's true. 450 00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,339 It's me. The real Michael. 451 00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:31,675 We know all about your plot to sabotage our experiment. 452 00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:34,803 We know you brought Chris in to pretend to be Linda 453 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:37,765 to distract us while you planted a Bad Janet 454 00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,725 to pretend to be a Good Janet. 455 00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:42,894 No, stop clapping! This is real! 456 00:17:42,978 --> 00:17:45,856 - Someone capture them. - Rufus, I'm warning you. 457 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,816 I know we go way back. We used to be roommates. 458 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,443 But if you take another step, 459 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:52,238 I will use this Demon Exploder on you. 460 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,322 A Demon Exploder? Come on, man. 461 00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,506 At least try to make that sound convincing. 462 00:17:57,826 --> 00:17:59,537 Wow. 463 00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:01,205 Touché. 464 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,374 I used to be just like all of you. 465 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,876 I sat right where you're sitting 466 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,462 at more than 10,000 DemonCons, 467 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:11,173 and I believed that we committed torture 468 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:14,218 as a part of the moral balance of the universe, 469 00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:16,345 but I've learned that's wrong. 470 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:18,430 Humans are capable of self-improvement, 471 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,974 and so are we. 472 00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:23,686 And down deep, Shawn knows this is true too. 473 00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:27,898 I beg you. Open your eyes to the truth. 474 00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:34,613 Bravo, Michael. What a monologue. 475 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,865 Not! 476 00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,160 I'm not scared of you 477 00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:42,329 because I've gone there, Michael. 478 00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:44,206 I've become you. 479 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,375 You may act like you've changed, 480 00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:48,877 but deep down, you're still a demon. 481 00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:53,090 Vile, ugly, capable of so much darkness. 482 00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:56,385 And now you're home. 483 00:18:57,761 --> 00:18:58,929 Oh, come on! 484 00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:01,473 Let's go. Come on. 485 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,726 - Let's go! - No, you morons! 486 00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:06,394 Stop applauding them! They're getting away! 487 00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:08,522 I swear, the production value at DemonCon 488 00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:09,815 gets better every year. 489 00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:15,321 Man, look at this house, and that beautiful lake. 490 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:18,406 I can't believe I almost missed all this. 491 00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:20,617 Is this the answer to the truth about the universe? 492 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,744 - Well... - Uh, part of it. 493 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,371 Ooh! 494 00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:25,956 The puzzle continues! 495 00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:28,626 Hey, you decided to come after all. 496 00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:30,377 I did. 497 00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:32,796 Thanks to Eleanor and Tahani. 498 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,131 Aw, you two are the best. 499 00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:40,387 That was insane, but we got through it together. 500 00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:42,097 No, we didn't. 501 00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:43,974 You got through it. 502 00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:46,185 I almost ruined it a hundred times. 503 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:48,853 From now on, I'm just gonna stick to throwing parties 504 00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:50,887 'cause it's the only thing I'm good at. 505 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,028 - Hey! - What? 506 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,947 When I said throw a party, I didn't mean a pity party. 507 00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:01,950 This isn't a pity party. I'm genuinely sad. 508 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:04,536 The only thing I can do is throw pointless parties. 509 00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:05,870 You run the entire neighborhood. 510 00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:07,414 You're so capable. 511 00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:11,043 I have seen you get stuck in any manner of crazy situation, 512 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,752 and you always figure a way out. 513 00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:15,506 Yeah, man, because I have had to scrape 514 00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:17,090 and claw my way through life, 515 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,508 and you grew up in a castle 516 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:21,386 full of diamond lamps and golden pillow cases. 517 00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,430 You never learned how to think on your feet. 518 00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:25,391 Look, if the roles were reversed 519 00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:29,103 and I had to throw a fancy party to save all of humanity, 520 00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:30,771 I promise we'd be screwed 521 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,647 because I wouldn't know what salad fork 522 00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:35,901 to put next to the... whatever spoon. 523 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,112 The Whatever Spoon is really only used 524 00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:39,822 for certain festive jellies. 525 00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:41,072 See? 526 00:20:41,156 --> 00:20:43,951 Babe, the dodos in that house 527 00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:46,829 are literally the four most important human beings 528 00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:48,664 in the universe. 529 00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:51,374 I wanted you to take care of them because I trust you. 530 00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:53,126 Plus, your parties aren't pointless. 531 00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:56,254 They're opportunities for them to bond and form friendships. 532 00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:59,049 You know, the thing we need them to do 533 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:02,761 so we're not all tortured forever? 534 00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:06,014 You're right, and thank you. 535 00:21:06,181 --> 00:21:07,975 But if we ever get through this, 536 00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:10,477 I want to learn how to do something meaningful. 537 00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,104 A real skill. 538 00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:14,106 Something helpful and fulfilling. 539 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,358 Okay, man, if we survive this, 540 00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,736 I promise I will support you 541 00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:21,822 while you learn to weld or whatever. 542 00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:23,574 Deal? 543 00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:25,492 Deal. 544 00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:32,290 That ought to stop them from following us. 545 00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:33,667 So smart. 546 00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:36,086 Nice to have you back, Janet. 547 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:38,839 It must've been hard for you to go back there. 548 00:21:40,215 --> 00:21:42,050 It was. 549 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:45,178 I don't like thinking about who I used to be. 550 00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:48,140 I suppose it's good to confront it, though; 551 00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:50,266 Remind me how far I've come. 552 00:21:50,350 --> 00:21:52,268 I don't know if either of you will ever have the chance 553 00:21:52,352 --> 00:21:54,270 to blow up an evil version of yourselves, 554 00:21:54,354 --> 00:21:55,772 but if you do, 555 00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:57,357 take it. 556 00:21:57,524 --> 00:21:59,318 It's very cathartic. 557 00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:03,989 Listen, Michael, it's okay to feel or plead guilty 558 00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:06,116 about bad things you used to do, 559 00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:08,493 but you don't have to feel shame about who you were 560 00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:10,871 because you're not a demon anymore. 561 00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:13,707 You're just like a nice, weird, happy old dude. 562 00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:15,751 Ah. 563 00:22:15,918 --> 00:22:17,919 Thanks for rescuing me. 564 00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,462 I missed you so much. 565 00:22:19,546 --> 00:22:20,589 I missed you too. 566 00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:22,257 Bad Janet was so mean to me. 567 00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:23,801 She told me so many lies. 568 00:22:23,967 --> 00:22:26,177 Like she said the Jags cut Blake Bortles. 569 00:22:26,261 --> 00:22:27,471 Can you believe that? 570 00:22:27,638 --> 00:22:30,682 Oh, no. Jason, that wasn't a lie. 571 00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:32,600 Blake Bortles was cut by the Jaguars. 572 00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:33,560 What? 573 00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:35,270 How? Why? 574 00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:36,939 Who's their QB now? 575 00:22:37,105 --> 00:22:38,524 A man named Nick Foles. 576 00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:40,442 Nick Foles? Are you kidding me? 577 00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:43,821 He won a Super Bowl! 578 00:22:43,987 --> 00:22:45,531 We're gonna be unstoppable! 579 00:22:45,697 --> 00:22:47,241 Foles! 580 00:22:47,407 --> 00:22:51,369 - Foles! - Foles! 581 00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:53,621 Oh, no. Nick Foles just broke his clavicle. 582 00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:55,666 Nooo!