1
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DECEPTION

2
00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:47,342
London 1987.

3
00:00:53,774 --> 00:00:54,975
I won't say my name,

4
00:00:55,215 --> 00:00:56,334
but I'm 33.

5
00:00:57,894 --> 00:01:01,374
My marriage gets more disastrous
year-by-year.

6
00:01:01,535 --> 00:01:04,415
Yet we have an adorable 4-year-old girl.

7
00:01:05,975 --> 00:01:08,176
I met Philip
a year and a half ago.

8
00:01:09,055 --> 00:01:12,456
Philip is an American novelist
who lives in London.

9
00:01:12,976 --> 00:01:15,376
I never understood that willful exile.

10
00:01:15,535 --> 00:01:19,296
Even though I pretend
my lover's fame doesn't impress me,

11
00:01:19,456 --> 00:01:20,616
I read all his books.

12
00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:23,936
And deep down,
I'm proud that an esteemed artist

13
00:01:24,096 --> 00:01:26,696
found me interesting enough
for secret trysts

14
00:01:26,857 --> 00:01:28,016
in the afternoon.

15
00:01:30,497 --> 00:01:31,737
Please.

16
00:01:34,937 --> 00:01:36,057
Close your eyes.

17
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,418
I'm not going to be tied up!

18
00:01:38,577 --> 00:01:41,178
My dear friend,
who here ever suggested

19
00:01:41,337 --> 00:01:43,497
tying you up so early in the game?

20
00:01:44,018 --> 00:01:45,818
I read about it in books.

21
00:01:46,258 --> 00:01:47,258
So?

22
00:01:48,178 --> 00:01:49,819
Writers write those books.

23
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Close your eyes.

24
00:01:54,859 --> 00:01:55,858
All right.

25
00:01:59,259 --> 00:02:01,539
Let's see
if you've been paying attention.

26
00:02:03,579 --> 00:02:06,179
Now describe this room.

27
00:02:08,099 --> 00:02:11,380
To begin with,
it has two nice French windows.

28
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,300
Looking out onto a lawn.

29
00:02:14,460 --> 00:02:16,260
In the room's spare style,

30
00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:18,981
the windows have no curtains,

31
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:23,181
so that nearby houses
can see everything inside.

32
00:02:23,700 --> 00:02:26,581
Mostly what they see
is someone typing.

33
00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:28,942
Or they see me reading.

34
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They deserve to see something
far more interesting.

35
00:02:34,942 --> 00:02:36,702
There's a comfortable chair.

36
00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:40,182
In it, sits a woman
who should be at work.

37
00:02:40,422 --> 00:02:43,223
Listening to her lament her marriage,

38
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:44,502
is a man,

39
00:02:45,062 --> 00:02:47,503
sitting in a leather desk chair.

40
00:02:48,623 --> 00:02:51,903
His desk, about three by five,

41
00:02:52,303 --> 00:02:55,303
is a wood plank on a metallic pedestal.

42
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Piles of papers all over:

43
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an unfinished manuscript,
stacks of letters,

44
00:03:00,584 --> 00:03:03,944
and clippings about Israel
from the papers

45
00:03:04,263 --> 00:03:06,624
to prove to his wife that the British

46
00:03:06,784 --> 00:03:08,224
are all anti-Semitic.

47
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At a right angle to the desk
is the typewriter.

48
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It has its own special desk. Pica 72.

49
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Excellent.

50
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Behind, bookshelves.

51
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"Heine's Jewish Comedy",

52
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"Jew as Pariah" by Hannah Arendt,

53
00:03:25,425 --> 00:03:26,906
"White Nights", Menachem Begin,

54
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Only books about Jews,

55
00:03:30,425 --> 00:03:31,426
by Jews,

56
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:32,786
for Jews.

57
00:03:35,266 --> 00:03:37,587
Suspended above, a paper globe,

58
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all dusty, Japanese.

59
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A radio,

60
00:03:41,747 --> 00:03:43,386
two chrome lamps.

61
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A plastic mat
for back exercises and adultery.

62
00:03:48,907 --> 00:03:51,508
In the bin, take-out containers.

63
00:03:53,507 --> 00:03:55,428
One sybaritic detail:

64
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plaster floral ornamentation
on ceiling molding.

65
00:03:59,588 --> 00:04:00,788
Wonderful.

66
00:04:01,828 --> 00:04:02,868
That all?

67
00:04:03,389 --> 00:04:04,349
Yes.

68
00:04:07,628 --> 00:04:08,708
Now close yours.

69
00:04:09,869 --> 00:04:10,829
Okay.

70
00:04:11,829 --> 00:04:15,309
Let's see how much attention
you've been paying.

71
00:04:15,669 --> 00:04:16,749
Go ahead.

72
00:04:17,469 --> 00:04:18,549
Now...

73
00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:20,670
describe me.

74
00:04:22,989 --> 00:04:26,190
Autumn.

75
00:04:39,471 --> 00:04:42,231
My husband's girlfriend
gave him a present.

76
00:04:42,791 --> 00:04:43,952
She's very pretentious.

77
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A very jealous and ambitious
kind of person.

78
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She gave him a record.

79
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A piece by Schubert,
very well known, very beautiful.

80
00:04:53,552 --> 00:04:54,752
Inspired by

81
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the great passion of his life,
a dazzlingly interesting woman.

82
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All spelled out in the liner notes.

83
00:05:02,033 --> 00:05:05,153
He could simply have said
he bought it himself.

84
00:05:05,352 --> 00:05:08,953
But no, he said
his girlfriend had given it to him.

85
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I was drunk one evening,
I got a pink underlining thing.

86
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I highlighted several
particularly hilarious phrases.

87
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,514
"The greatest passion ever".

88
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"Marriage of minds".

89
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"Ecstasy".

90
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Then calmly and with dignity,

91
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I handed him the record cover.

92
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Was that awful of me?

93
00:05:36,515 --> 00:05:37,836
Why were you drunk?

94
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I wasn't drunk, but I drank a lot.

95
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You drink a lot at night?

96
00:05:45,836 --> 00:05:47,076
- Yeah.
- How much?

97
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A large amount.

98
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Nights when I'm alone, I drink nothing.

99
00:05:52,396 --> 00:05:55,597
Otherwise,
easily several doubles before dinner.

100
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And wine in between.

101
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But I never really get drunk.

102
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Just a little elevated.

103
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You lead such a bizarre life.

104
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It is bizarre.

105
00:06:07,118 --> 00:06:09,518
It's a mistake, but here I am.

106
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That's my life.

107
00:06:17,958 --> 00:06:19,678
How unhappy are you?

108
00:06:20,398 --> 00:06:21,718
It goes in periods.

109
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We have periods of ghastliness.

110
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Then long periods of quiet and love.

111
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You still sleep together?

112
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,440
I thought you'd ask that.

113
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I don't intend to answer.

114
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Good evening!

115
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:43,720
Good evening.

116
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,240
Have a nice day?

117
00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:51,601
A wretched day of writing...

118
00:06:51,761 --> 00:06:54,001
My poor, aggrieved hero.

119
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Oh, a kiss!

120
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Yep!

121
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- We know each other.
- Yes we do.

122
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What are you doing?

123
00:07:04,881 --> 00:07:06,042
Rereading my notes.

124
00:07:08,442 --> 00:07:10,122
Don't come to bed too late.

125
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I'll be there soon.

126
00:07:15,082 --> 00:07:16,443
Very impressive!

127
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What?

128
00:07:17,883 --> 00:07:19,603
- I love you.
- I love you.

129
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You, a ribbon in your hair.

130
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Don't like it?

131
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I do like it.

132
00:07:26,523 --> 00:07:29,324
Why aren't you happy with your wife?

133
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Why isn't it enough?

134
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Why isn't your husband enough?

135
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I've told you lots about him.

136
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Tell me why your wife isn't enough.

137
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You're asking the wrong question.

138
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What's the right one?

139
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I don't know.

140
00:07:48,445 --> 00:07:49,765
Why am I here?

141
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Because I followed temptation
where it led me.

142
00:07:53,405 --> 00:07:55,805
I do that now that I'm older.

143
00:07:56,446 --> 00:07:58,525
Why so anxious not to hurt her?

144
00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:01,526
Why should I want to hurt her?

145
00:08:02,326 --> 00:08:04,326
You don't seem free
to do everything.

146
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What's free? Are you free?

147
00:08:07,806 --> 00:08:09,206
Free-ish.

148
00:08:09,486 --> 00:08:10,607
Free-er than you.

149
00:08:10,766 --> 00:08:13,646
Nonsense!
Let's cut this conversation short.

150
00:08:13,807 --> 00:08:14,767
Why?

151
00:08:14,887 --> 00:08:16,967
Maybe only one adulterous partner

152
00:08:17,127 --> 00:08:20,247
should complain
about domestic dissatisfactions.

153
00:08:21,007 --> 00:08:23,487
Making your dissatisfaction
out of bounds.

154
00:08:23,808 --> 00:08:27,608
Except your dissatisfactions
with England and Englishness.

155
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,808
Can't it be
that domestic dissatisfactions

156
00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:34,408
have nothing to do
with my falling in love with you?

157
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:36,608
Besides cultural displacement.

158
00:08:37,569 --> 00:08:39,649
I owe this to cultural displacement?

159
00:08:39,808 --> 00:08:40,849
Maybe.

160
00:08:41,329 --> 00:08:43,609
So our story is a cultural one?

161
00:08:43,769 --> 00:08:45,929
A genre I always find interesting.

162
00:08:46,449 --> 00:08:47,810
Gentile women.

163
00:08:48,089 --> 00:08:50,009
You're in love with anthropology.

164
00:08:50,169 --> 00:08:52,930
There are worse ways
to address anthropological differences.

165
00:08:53,090 --> 00:08:56,690
The old standbys:
hatred, xenophobia,

166
00:08:56,850 --> 00:08:58,530
violence, murder.

167
00:08:58,690 --> 00:09:01,090
Yes, my dear, you're...

168
00:09:01,851 --> 00:09:05,331
you're the Albert Schweitzer
of cross-cultural fucking.

169
00:09:06,291 --> 00:09:09,131
Malinowski is fine, he'll do.

170
00:09:15,131 --> 00:09:16,291
What's wrong?

171
00:09:16,732 --> 00:09:17,692
Answer me.

172
00:09:17,812 --> 00:09:19,692
I can tell something's wrong.

173
00:09:20,772 --> 00:09:22,452
A nanny,

174
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:25,372
a child, two squabbling housekeepers.

175
00:09:26,252 --> 00:09:28,812
And the usual English damp.

176
00:09:31,013 --> 00:09:33,812
I don't think
we can continue our liaison.

177
00:09:34,652 --> 00:09:36,213
The days are too short.

178
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:37,653
Really?

179
00:09:39,093 --> 00:09:40,494
That's too bad.

180
00:09:41,413 --> 00:09:42,534
You don't agree?

181
00:09:43,854 --> 00:09:46,533
Didn't our last conversation
take that turn?

182
00:09:47,973 --> 00:09:49,254
Oh, I see.

183
00:09:49,654 --> 00:09:51,174
Whatever you want.

184
00:09:51,574 --> 00:09:52,934
I think it's best.

185
00:09:53,414 --> 00:09:55,054
You said it's driving you nuts.

186
00:09:55,375 --> 00:09:56,854
What's driving me nuts?

187
00:09:58,654 --> 00:10:00,094
All these sexual matters.

188
00:10:01,174 --> 00:10:04,815
You said you weren't keen
on just a romantic friendship.

189
00:10:05,015 --> 00:10:08,135
I'll simplify it for you,
if you want it simple.

190
00:10:11,176 --> 00:10:13,856
Why the silence?
I hate you when you're silent.

191
00:10:14,416 --> 00:10:15,656
I'm here.

192
00:10:24,777 --> 00:10:25,937
Get my letter?

193
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:29,297
Yes, I got it.
That letter is... wonderful.

194
00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:31,697
I tore it up.

195
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,617
Obviously, of course.

196
00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:36,697
- It seemed the best thing to do.
- Indeed.

197
00:10:39,058 --> 00:10:40,258
Very strange to see you.

198
00:10:40,978 --> 00:10:42,778
Stranger not to, right?

199
00:10:42,938 --> 00:10:43,978
That I don't know.

200
00:10:44,498 --> 00:10:46,338
You disappeared for a while.

201
00:10:47,219 --> 00:10:48,858
You've changed too.

202
00:10:50,498 --> 00:10:52,379
You do look a bit different.

203
00:10:52,538 --> 00:10:55,339
- What happened to you?
- I look that different?

204
00:10:56,379 --> 00:10:57,459
Taller?

205
00:10:57,819 --> 00:10:58,779
Shorter?

206
00:10:59,539 --> 00:11:01,380
- Pudgier.
- I don't know.

207
00:11:02,460 --> 00:11:03,939
It's very subtle.

208
00:11:04,699 --> 00:11:06,180
Something subtle?

209
00:11:06,339 --> 00:11:07,299
Yeah.

210
00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:09,540
I've missed you.

211
00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:15,301
I'm freezing.

212
00:11:16,340 --> 00:11:19,221
I behaved very stupidly with my husband.

213
00:11:20,181 --> 00:11:23,101
He's had to put up with me
terribly lonely

214
00:11:23,261 --> 00:11:24,861
and depressed for years.

215
00:11:26,581 --> 00:11:30,581
I didn't have affairs.
I thought he was vulnerable.

216
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:33,902
Your husband
doesn't sound that vulnerable.

217
00:11:34,222 --> 00:11:36,782
Why not tell him:
"If you don't give her up,

218
00:11:36,942 --> 00:11:38,662
I'll sleep in the other room?

219
00:11:38,822 --> 00:11:41,941
You're free.
Either you fuck her or you fuck me.

220
00:11:41,942 --> 00:11:42,966
Take your pick."

221
00:11:43,623 --> 00:11:45,743
She's an important part of his life.

222
00:11:46,302 --> 00:11:48,023
It would be selfish on my behalf.

223
00:11:49,103 --> 00:11:50,743
Selfish on your part?

224
00:11:50,903 --> 00:11:53,023
You think you that, then marry me.

225
00:11:53,183 --> 00:11:55,144
It's lovely to hear a woman say:

226
00:11:55,543 --> 00:11:57,863
"It would be selfish to ask my husband

227
00:11:58,024 --> 00:11:59,664
to give up his girlfriend."

228
00:11:59,824 --> 00:12:02,023
I think it would be though.

229
00:12:02,623 --> 00:12:04,424
It's easier when I don't see you.

230
00:12:05,864 --> 00:12:07,624
We get distracted, we forget.

231
00:12:08,225 --> 00:12:10,584
None of this terrible comparing.

232
00:12:12,985 --> 00:12:15,625
I wanted to explain
what's going on in my head.

233
00:12:16,625 --> 00:12:17,625
But...

234
00:12:18,385 --> 00:12:20,065
I feel like I'm abusing.

235
00:12:20,345 --> 00:12:21,546
Let's talk about it.

236
00:12:22,225 --> 00:12:24,385
I like to know what's in your head.

237
00:12:26,426 --> 00:12:28,106
I'm very fond of your head.

238
00:12:29,106 --> 00:12:30,866
I had my mother for the weekend.

239
00:12:31,506 --> 00:12:33,266
And he just disappeared.

240
00:12:34,066 --> 00:12:38,347
Lunch tomorrow with my mother-in-law,
who's so hellishly unpleasant.

241
00:12:39,787 --> 00:12:41,427
You know what a cervix is?

242
00:12:41,746 --> 00:12:42,907
I think so.

243
00:12:43,426 --> 00:12:45,707
Well, I've got a lump on mine.

244
00:12:46,467 --> 00:12:48,267
I must do a test or something.

245
00:12:50,187 --> 00:12:52,907
My husband says I've ruined his sex life.

246
00:12:55,468 --> 00:12:58,068
I so don't enjoy sex with him.

247
00:12:58,428 --> 00:12:59,668
It's always...

248
00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:02,589
hard and lonely.

249
00:13:03,189 --> 00:13:04,468
That's the way it is.

250
00:13:05,188 --> 00:13:06,549
It's life, isn't it?

251
00:13:07,668 --> 00:13:11,869
Why not do your husband a favor
and try to come?

252
00:13:14,069 --> 00:13:15,310
I don't want to.

253
00:13:16,150 --> 00:13:18,070
It's better than arguing.

254
00:13:20,149 --> 00:13:21,949
I get so angry with him.

255
00:13:22,230 --> 00:13:23,710
Don't get angry.

256
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:25,710
Your husband's fucking you.

257
00:13:25,870 --> 00:13:26,830
Let him.

258
00:13:27,470 --> 00:13:29,510
It's not under my conscious control.

259
00:13:29,670 --> 00:13:33,030
Just be a whore for half an hour.
It won't kill you!

260
00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:35,030
Whores don't come.

261
00:13:35,311 --> 00:13:37,111
Play the whore!

262
00:13:38,671 --> 00:13:41,271
Don't be so serious about everything.

263
00:13:42,792 --> 00:13:43,911
He's...

264
00:13:44,472 --> 00:13:48,312
the type who thinks
women must have multiple orgasms,

265
00:13:48,831 --> 00:13:50,312
that we must come together.

266
00:13:51,392 --> 00:13:53,272
Normal for young people, isn't it?

267
00:13:55,352 --> 00:13:58,112
Once you acquire some history,
resentments,

268
00:13:58,792 --> 00:14:02,752
how can you explain
losing interest in someone sexually?

269
00:14:04,072 --> 00:14:05,833
Why not ask why it snows?

270
00:14:06,193 --> 00:14:08,113
Not a reason for leaving him?

271
00:14:19,514 --> 00:14:20,553
You know,

272
00:14:20,554 --> 00:14:22,875
when I met you, you were ripe.

273
00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:25,434
Ripe for the picking.

274
00:14:27,035 --> 00:14:28,554
No, I was...

275
00:14:30,234 --> 00:14:32,515
on the ground, rotting under the tree.

276
00:14:43,756 --> 00:14:47,436
On the ground, rotting under the tree.

277
00:15:02,797 --> 00:15:05,358
Is your husband
safely in a hospital room?

278
00:15:06,957 --> 00:15:08,637
Think the tootsie's there too?

279
00:15:09,198 --> 00:15:11,637
"Tootsie" is such a wonderful word.

280
00:15:12,198 --> 00:15:14,438
Yes, I thought you might like it.

281
00:15:15,278 --> 00:15:17,359
I gave him unduly bad press.

282
00:15:17,518 --> 00:15:18,878
He has many qualities.

283
00:15:19,958 --> 00:15:22,159
But the truth of the matter is...

284
00:15:22,318 --> 00:15:24,358
I haven't slept so well in ages.

285
00:15:24,598 --> 00:15:27,879
I woke up this morning
feeling absolutely normal.

286
00:15:29,879 --> 00:15:31,239
He comes back tomorrow.

287
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,401
You're shaking. You ill?

288
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,201
I'm terribly excited.

289
00:16:05,262 --> 00:16:06,282
What?

290
00:16:15,203 --> 00:16:16,442
"And you give me

291
00:16:16,802 --> 00:16:18,883
the pleasure of your eyes,

292
00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:21,203
of your face,

293
00:16:22,603 --> 00:16:24,043
of your flesh."

294
00:16:28,803 --> 00:16:31,244
Maybe because it was Valentine's Day,

295
00:16:32,204 --> 00:16:34,924
I woke up in the middle of the night

296
00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:38,284
with a terrific sensation.

297
00:16:38,884 --> 00:16:42,685
It felt like your hand was on my cock.

298
00:16:43,924 --> 00:16:45,364
It was no one's.

299
00:16:45,685 --> 00:16:46,885
It was a dream.

300
00:16:47,245 --> 00:16:50,405
How did I end up
being so hooked on you?

301
00:16:51,005 --> 00:16:53,805
It's that you spend all day
in this room.

302
00:16:54,326 --> 00:16:56,486
You have no new experiences here.

303
00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:58,325
No adventures.

304
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,166
I have you.

305
00:17:09,887 --> 00:17:11,766
How long has it been now?

306
00:17:12,527 --> 00:17:14,207
A year and a half.

307
00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:20,527
I know nothing about you.

308
00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:23,968
Sure, I do know a bit.

309
00:17:24,208 --> 00:17:27,088
From reading your books.
But not a lot.

310
00:17:29,288 --> 00:17:32,849
We may as well be holed up
in the Frank family's attic.

311
00:17:33,449 --> 00:17:34,448
Yes.

312
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,208
Our lot in life.

313
00:17:40,489 --> 00:17:41,649
What are you thinking?

314
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:45,810
I feel so urgently
the need for solitude.

315
00:17:55,050 --> 00:17:57,050
You look so damned tired.

316
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,250
What can I do?

317
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,130
I dunno, run away!

318
00:18:00,610 --> 00:18:01,610
Excuse me.

319
00:18:06,531 --> 00:18:08,531
Know what I'm doing on Tuesday?

320
00:18:08,731 --> 00:18:09,691
No.

321
00:18:09,851 --> 00:18:11,291
I'm seeing a solicitor.

322
00:18:11,972 --> 00:18:13,451
About getting a divorce?

323
00:18:14,331 --> 00:18:16,132
Just to find out what's up.

324
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:20,932
I'll get to your place
in a heightened state.

325
00:18:22,012 --> 00:18:23,051
I'm off.

326
00:18:23,052 --> 00:18:25,012
It should be interesting.

327
00:18:33,657 --> 00:18:35,657
When I lived in the country,

328
00:18:35,817 --> 00:18:37,578
before spending time in the city,

329
00:18:38,298 --> 00:18:39,817
I was so simple.

330
00:18:40,218 --> 00:18:42,258
If you struggle a lot, that dies.

331
00:18:42,858 --> 00:18:44,457
I used to be a lot of fun.

332
00:18:44,937 --> 00:18:46,938
I enjoy you now.

333
00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:54,259
What if he asks
how you got the bruise?

334
00:18:54,418 --> 00:18:55,659
He already has.

335
00:18:56,398 --> 00:18:57,378
And?

336
00:18:57,379 --> 00:18:58,579
I told the truth.

337
00:18:58,739 --> 00:19:01,299
I always do.
That way, you never get caught.

338
00:19:01,739 --> 00:19:02,979
What did you say?

339
00:19:03,179 --> 00:19:06,579
I said: "I got this bruise

340
00:19:06,860 --> 00:19:08,380
in a torrid embrace

341
00:19:08,540 --> 00:19:11,180
with an unemployed writer

342
00:19:11,420 --> 00:19:12,580
in a flat,

343
00:19:12,740 --> 00:19:14,780
a walk-up, in Notting Hill."

344
00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:16,100
And?

345
00:19:16,540 --> 00:19:18,381
It sounds silly and everyone laughs.

346
00:19:18,540 --> 00:19:20,781
And you maintain the illusion
of honesty.

347
00:19:21,021 --> 00:19:22,101
Absolutely.

348
00:19:36,541 --> 00:19:38,742
I was a little Czech girl.

349
00:19:40,822 --> 00:19:43,022
I went to your hotel.

350
00:19:44,742 --> 00:19:46,742
You asked me up to your room

351
00:19:46,902 --> 00:19:49,382
to help you carry some books.

352
00:19:51,383 --> 00:19:54,383
It was 10 o'clock in the morning.

353
00:19:55,503 --> 00:19:58,023
And they were very rude with me.

354
00:19:58,303 --> 00:20:00,303
They treated me like a whore.

355
00:20:00,744 --> 00:20:03,464
And you, you made a scene!

356
00:20:05,824 --> 00:20:07,184
You were kind.

357
00:20:09,664 --> 00:20:12,625
Then I took you across the Charles Bridge

358
00:20:13,544 --> 00:20:16,345
and you taught me
tons of colloquial words.

359
00:20:18,904 --> 00:20:20,905
We had dinner at your hotel.

360
00:20:22,585 --> 00:20:24,825
You didn't care particularly about me.

361
00:20:26,145 --> 00:20:29,266
I was about 21, 22.

362
00:20:31,025 --> 00:20:32,946
I'm much older now.

363
00:20:35,946 --> 00:20:39,666
What's that park at the top of Prague
where we sat?

364
00:20:41,146 --> 00:20:43,986
We didn't go there.
That was someone else.

365
00:20:44,147 --> 00:20:45,587
No, no one else.

366
00:20:45,747 --> 00:20:48,067
I particularly did care for you.

367
00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:54,868
You once telephoned me
to invite me to an orgy, remember?

368
00:20:55,548 --> 00:20:56,587
You did!

369
00:20:57,468 --> 00:20:59,188
I wasn't brave enough to go.

370
00:20:59,347 --> 00:21:01,548
You didn't miss a thing.
Very boring.

371
00:21:01,748 --> 00:21:03,388
You were always tailed.

372
00:21:03,548 --> 00:21:05,948
When we sat in a restaurant,

373
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:10,508
that guy from the police
always sat next to us.

374
00:21:11,309 --> 00:21:12,908
We found it unbearable.

375
00:21:13,109 --> 00:21:14,549
It was unbearable.

376
00:21:15,629 --> 00:21:18,069
I worked at the American library.

377
00:21:19,590 --> 00:21:21,870
My professor got me the job.

378
00:21:22,710 --> 00:21:25,190
He said it would be great for us all

379
00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:27,790
because we could get books...

380
00:21:28,270 --> 00:21:29,510
Books.

381
00:21:31,390 --> 00:21:33,550
And it was a fantastic job.

382
00:21:33,830 --> 00:21:36,190
But in the end it became difficult.

383
00:21:39,910 --> 00:21:41,671
I had to decide

384
00:21:41,831 --> 00:21:44,551
to work for the Secret Service
or to leave.

385
00:21:44,831 --> 00:21:47,951
You're in London now.
You can talk. Talk!

386
00:21:49,511 --> 00:21:51,032
I'll tell you.

387
00:21:52,631 --> 00:21:53,712
They told me...

388
00:21:55,232 --> 00:21:57,232
We know that you like your job,

389
00:21:57,392 --> 00:21:59,232
that you make lot of money.

390
00:22:00,832 --> 00:22:03,233
They gave me a paper to sign.

391
00:22:03,792 --> 00:22:06,753
The discussion we'd be having
was a state secret.

392
00:22:07,553 --> 00:22:09,713
If I spoke to anyone,

393
00:22:09,873 --> 00:22:11,393
including my own family,

394
00:22:11,713 --> 00:22:13,234
I would be prosecuted

395
00:22:13,954 --> 00:22:15,913
and imprisoned for seven years.

396
00:22:16,474 --> 00:22:18,034
Sentenced for what?

397
00:22:18,313 --> 00:22:19,914
I risked prison anyway.

398
00:22:20,074 --> 00:22:23,114
I was so scared,
I told all my friends.

399
00:22:23,714 --> 00:22:24,914
So I said:

400
00:22:25,314 --> 00:22:27,954
"Why sign something
I know nothing about?"

401
00:22:28,115 --> 00:22:29,915
Sign it! Stop asking questions!

402
00:22:30,074 --> 00:22:32,594
I can't sign anything
I don't know about!

403
00:22:32,755 --> 00:22:34,555
Your work, friends, country...

404
00:22:34,795 --> 00:22:36,835
it's all over, you understand?

405
00:22:39,396 --> 00:22:41,955
"No, I'll tell you straightaway,
I can't,

406
00:22:42,115 --> 00:22:43,596
I can't do it."

407
00:22:44,036 --> 00:22:47,156
So they said:
"You'll have to find another job.

408
00:22:47,556 --> 00:22:49,556
There's no future for you here."

409
00:22:50,436 --> 00:22:52,316
They didn't fire me immediately.

410
00:22:52,957 --> 00:22:56,476
I went back to work.
I didn't tell anyone.

411
00:22:56,956 --> 00:22:58,717
Then the nightmare began.

412
00:22:58,876 --> 00:23:01,757
The Americans did the same thing.

413
00:23:02,357 --> 00:23:04,237
Said they were interested in me,

414
00:23:04,397 --> 00:23:06,758
that I should spy for them.

415
00:23:11,398 --> 00:23:12,718
Jana!

416
00:23:19,479 --> 00:23:21,999
Same thing,
I refused the Americans too.

417
00:23:22,798 --> 00:23:25,479
By that time, my situation had become

418
00:23:25,638 --> 00:23:27,438
absolutely awful.

419
00:23:29,559 --> 00:23:32,999
They were both interested
because I speak the languages.

420
00:23:33,679 --> 00:23:35,599
I'm quite good at translating.

421
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,200
I always enjoyed literature.

422
00:23:38,839 --> 00:23:39,799
I know.

423
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,360
I translated stories

424
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:42,920
for Czech papers.

425
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:48,641
At the library, I'd become so isolated
I had to quit.

426
00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:52,160
I left soon after.

427
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:57,441
That's why I married
that stupid Englishman

428
00:23:57,601 --> 00:24:00,001
who at least knew he wanted me.

429
00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:02,721
1978.

430
00:24:02,881 --> 00:24:05,241
You married to get out.
No shame.

431
00:24:10,842 --> 00:24:12,442
To leave the country,

432
00:24:12,602 --> 00:24:15,802
you need lots of papers,
it takes forever.

433
00:24:16,402 --> 00:24:19,282
When I left Czechoslovakia,
I no longer loved him.

434
00:24:20,803 --> 00:24:22,563
When I got to England,

435
00:24:22,923 --> 00:24:24,843
I just couldn't cope.

436
00:24:27,563 --> 00:24:31,523
At first he was so upset
to see me crying.

437
00:24:32,044 --> 00:24:34,283
I felt miserable

438
00:24:34,564 --> 00:24:36,484
and I missed all my friends.

439
00:24:37,844 --> 00:24:40,324
I did every odd job.

440
00:24:42,684 --> 00:24:45,365
And on the third day,
I'd be thrown out

441
00:24:45,525 --> 00:24:47,724
because I talked back.

442
00:24:48,285 --> 00:24:50,445
I was still a Czech.

443
00:24:51,685 --> 00:24:53,725
Your life story is more interesting.

444
00:24:53,885 --> 00:24:55,366
Not at all. Go on.

445
00:24:56,405 --> 00:24:59,380
The English husband... how did it end?

446
00:24:59,381 --> 00:25:00,406
Badly.

447
00:25:02,566 --> 00:25:04,326
I hated Czechoslovakia

448
00:25:04,486 --> 00:25:06,486
because it had very set rules.

449
00:25:06,646 --> 00:25:08,366
You couldn't breathe.

450
00:25:09,006 --> 00:25:11,126
But I don't like England,

451
00:25:12,727 --> 00:25:14,767
because it has another set of rules.

452
00:25:14,927 --> 00:25:18,047
Of little houses and vegetable gardens,

453
00:25:18,207 --> 00:25:21,447
and all their life
is to get something like that.

454
00:25:22,407 --> 00:25:24,288
I can't be like that.

455
00:25:26,928 --> 00:25:28,928
Because I'm educated.

456
00:25:33,128 --> 00:25:35,329
I have no place here.

457
00:25:37,729 --> 00:25:39,049
None at all.

458
00:26:08,411 --> 00:26:09,891
Hello. It's me.

459
00:26:12,771 --> 00:26:14,291
Oh, it's you.

460
00:26:15,052 --> 00:26:16,211
How are you?

461
00:26:18,571 --> 00:26:21,052
- I'm fine.- What do you know?

462
00:26:21,211 --> 00:26:22,372
Anything new?

463
00:26:22,531 --> 00:26:23,492
No.

464
00:26:24,452 --> 00:26:26,892
I have to do a tomography this morning.

465
00:26:27,692 --> 00:26:29,453
It's quite a heavy day.

466
00:26:29,749 --> 00:26:30,732
I see.

467
00:26:31,212 --> 00:26:33,092
The tomography will tell you what?

468
00:26:34,412 --> 00:26:35,813
How long I have.

469
00:26:38,493 --> 00:26:39,493
No.

470
00:26:40,653 --> 00:26:44,133
If the tomography shows tumors,
it's bad news.

471
00:26:44,293 --> 00:26:46,533
It means the drugs aren't working.

472
00:26:46,814 --> 00:26:50,174
And if it shows nothing,
I still need surgery

473
00:26:50,334 --> 00:26:51,574
to see what's going on.

474
00:26:51,774 --> 00:26:53,374
Results are on Monday.

475
00:26:54,014 --> 00:26:56,695
So this is a big weekend.

476
00:26:56,935 --> 00:26:58,015
Yes.

477
00:26:58,174 --> 00:26:59,295
Pretty big.

478
00:27:02,055 --> 00:27:03,975
Are you able to write anything?

479
00:27:06,735 --> 00:27:08,576
The narratives crumble.

480
00:27:12,536 --> 00:27:14,576
No, I've been doing yoga.

481
00:27:15,215 --> 00:27:17,336
I eat macrobiotic.

482
00:27:18,816 --> 00:27:19,896
Macrobiotic...

483
00:27:20,056 --> 00:27:23,457
I'm just trying to live
with what joy there is.

484
00:27:23,736 --> 00:27:26,457
- How's your support system?
- Great!

485
00:27:28,137 --> 00:27:32,137
Even my father phoned
from wherever the hell he lives now.

486
00:27:33,097 --> 00:27:34,697
So it's not so great.

487
00:27:35,057 --> 00:27:38,417
It is! A call from my father
makes cancer worth it.

488
00:27:41,218 --> 00:27:42,738
No, they're great.

489
00:27:44,018 --> 00:27:45,818
All my ex-men are wonderful.

490
00:27:46,138 --> 00:27:47,378
Very nice.

491
00:27:47,538 --> 00:27:48,938
Very attentive.

492
00:27:50,339 --> 00:27:52,499
Never coming back to America?

493
00:27:53,138 --> 00:27:55,778
New York next month.
I'll see you the day I get in.

494
00:27:58,299 --> 00:27:59,339
Nice!

495
00:28:00,859 --> 00:28:02,059
What's up over there?

496
00:28:02,659 --> 00:28:04,419
What's London life like?

497
00:28:04,579 --> 00:28:06,939
Not very different from 81st Street.

498
00:28:07,140 --> 00:28:08,340
Put it here.

499
00:28:09,180 --> 00:28:10,380
Thank you.

500
00:28:11,300 --> 00:28:12,300
Still writing?

501
00:28:12,460 --> 00:28:13,420
Yes.

502
00:28:13,780 --> 00:28:16,340
I thought you'd give that up
with any luck.

503
00:28:16,741 --> 00:28:19,460
No. With my typewriter in my room.

504
00:28:19,780 --> 00:28:22,861
And in the evening,
cultural events, social events.

505
00:28:23,020 --> 00:28:24,341
Very insipid, very English.

506
00:28:24,661 --> 00:28:26,861
Social events
are called dinner parties.

507
00:28:27,101 --> 00:28:28,101
Yes.

508
00:28:28,461 --> 00:28:31,862
Trouble is,
I get seated by other men's wives.

509
00:28:32,222 --> 00:28:33,382
Of course.

510
00:28:34,181 --> 00:28:35,981
You know about other men's wives?

511
00:28:36,182 --> 00:28:37,502
They're boring.

512
00:28:37,662 --> 00:28:38,622
Very.

513
00:28:38,942 --> 00:28:41,542
Unlike you
when you were another man's wife.

514
00:28:43,062 --> 00:28:44,302
Where's my book?

515
00:28:44,703 --> 00:28:45,742
What book?

516
00:28:45,903 --> 00:28:47,583
The book with me in it.

517
00:28:48,183 --> 00:28:50,303
I like that one!

518
00:28:51,303 --> 00:28:54,503
So do something interesting
I can stick in there!

519
00:28:55,903 --> 00:28:56,944
Me?

520
00:28:57,143 --> 00:28:58,943
I may be dying.

521
00:29:00,504 --> 00:29:01,744
You don't know that.

522
00:29:02,503 --> 00:29:03,823
I'll know Monday.

523
00:29:04,704 --> 00:29:06,944
I'll call Monday for your results.

524
00:29:07,304 --> 00:29:11,362
Now I'm going to stop
before I utter more platitudes.

525
00:29:11,363 --> 00:29:12,323
Yes!

526
00:29:12,584 --> 00:29:14,585
When I hear platitudes,

527
00:29:15,185 --> 00:29:16,465
I prick up my ears!

528
00:29:16,904 --> 00:29:17,864
Indeed!

529
00:29:17,996 --> 00:29:18,956
Bye.

530
00:29:20,665 --> 00:29:21,865
Have a good day.

531
00:29:22,425 --> 00:29:23,545
Goodbye.

532
00:29:30,345 --> 00:29:33,546
Winter.

533
00:30:29,390 --> 00:30:30,350
Wait...

534
00:30:38,071 --> 00:30:39,551
I'll write them down.

535
00:30:39,911 --> 00:30:40,991
You begin.

536
00:30:41,191 --> 00:30:42,671
What's it called?

537
00:30:43,231 --> 00:30:45,672
I don't know. What do we call it?

538
00:30:46,111 --> 00:30:49,431
"Questionnaire
about dreaming of fleeing together".

539
00:30:49,592 --> 00:30:51,192
Nice. "Questionnaire...

540
00:30:51,351 --> 00:30:53,712
"about lovers...

541
00:30:54,112 --> 00:30:56,352
lovers dreaming of fleeing together".

542
00:30:56,512 --> 00:30:59,233
"Questionnaire about lovers dreaming...

543
00:30:59,632 --> 00:31:01,993
middle-aged lovers -
fleeing together.

544
00:31:02,512 --> 00:31:04,393
- You're not middle-aged!
- I am!

545
00:31:04,552 --> 00:31:06,553
You seem young to me!

546
00:31:06,713 --> 00:31:08,913
Add that to the questionnaire.

547
00:31:14,433 --> 00:31:17,234
"Questionnaire about lovers
dreaming of fleeing together."

548
00:31:17,873 --> 00:31:19,674
"Fleeing together."

549
00:31:20,274 --> 00:31:21,514
You begin.

550
00:31:22,874 --> 00:31:26,034
First thing about me
that would get on your nerves?

551
00:31:26,994 --> 00:31:28,674
Are you a charming extrovert

552
00:31:29,075 --> 00:31:30,915
or a neurotic recluse?

553
00:31:31,595 --> 00:31:32,995
How long...

554
00:31:33,835 --> 00:31:37,155
before you're attracted to another woman?

555
00:31:37,475 --> 00:31:39,115
Or you by a man?

556
00:31:40,475 --> 00:31:41,675
You mustn't get older.

557
00:31:43,236 --> 00:31:44,916
You think the same about me?

558
00:31:45,076 --> 00:31:46,556
How many men do you need?

559
00:31:47,876 --> 00:31:50,436
Are you entirely heterosexual?

560
00:31:55,637 --> 00:31:57,077
Do you have an idea

561
00:31:57,236 --> 00:31:59,396
of what interests you in me?
Be precise.

562
00:32:02,397 --> 00:32:03,757
Have you...

563
00:32:04,357 --> 00:32:05,517
ever lied to me?

564
00:32:05,677 --> 00:32:07,197
Do you tell lies?

565
00:32:07,917 --> 00:32:09,477
Are you against lying?

566
00:32:13,478 --> 00:32:17,038
Do you think that being generous-minded

567
00:32:17,398 --> 00:32:18,958
is a sign of weakness?

568
00:32:20,078 --> 00:32:21,958
Do you care about being weak?

569
00:32:22,279 --> 00:32:24,199
And you, about being strong?

570
00:32:26,959 --> 00:32:29,679
How much money will you let me spend?

571
00:32:29,839 --> 00:32:33,080
Would you let me have any power
over your money?

572
00:32:35,639 --> 00:32:37,720
How am I already a disappointment?

573
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:41,120
Are you going to die?

574
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,400
Are you physically and mentally sound?

575
00:32:49,721 --> 00:32:52,080
What are your real feelings about Jews?

576
00:32:53,601 --> 00:32:57,361
How inept would you be
if my husband discovered us?

577
00:32:58,481 --> 00:32:59,962
If he came in now?

578
00:33:04,042 --> 00:33:05,002
Wait.

579
00:33:07,922 --> 00:33:10,002
Seventeen. Any more?

580
00:33:11,122 --> 00:33:12,323
I can't think of any.

581
00:33:12,482 --> 00:33:15,323
- I look forward to your answers.
- And I to yours.

582
00:33:18,203 --> 00:33:19,442
I do have one more.

583
00:33:19,843 --> 00:33:20,803
Yes?

584
00:33:20,963 --> 00:33:23,163
Do you like how I dress?

585
00:33:25,323 --> 00:33:27,043
That's straining.

586
00:33:28,603 --> 00:33:29,564
Bastard!

587
00:33:30,404 --> 00:33:32,163
Not at all straining.

588
00:33:34,124 --> 00:33:37,524
The more trivial the defect,
the more anger it inspires.

589
00:33:41,884 --> 00:33:43,045
One last question?

590
00:33:43,324 --> 00:33:44,524
I have it!

591
00:33:44,685 --> 00:33:45,964
The last question.

592
00:33:48,445 --> 00:33:49,925
Do you in any way,

593
00:33:50,405 --> 00:33:54,086
in the corner of your heart,
still harbor the illusion

594
00:33:55,166 --> 00:33:56,165
that marriage

595
00:33:57,086 --> 00:33:58,846
is a love affair?

596
00:33:59,165 --> 00:34:01,926
If so, it can cause many problems.

597
00:34:03,646 --> 00:34:06,286
I hated being pregnant.
It drove me crazy.

598
00:34:07,806 --> 00:34:10,566
I made a fuss
about potential birth defects

599
00:34:10,727 --> 00:34:12,887
that went undetected before delivery.

600
00:34:13,446 --> 00:34:14,647
I asked the doctors:

601
00:34:14,807 --> 00:34:18,327
"What if there's something
seriously wrong with the baby?"

602
00:34:18,727 --> 00:34:22,927
I was upset about a story on the news
just before I was due.

603
00:34:24,247 --> 00:34:26,527
About a woman with a handicapped child.

604
00:34:27,648 --> 00:34:30,888
She stopped feeding it, to kill it.

605
00:34:31,288 --> 00:34:33,048
The baby was adopted.

606
00:34:33,528 --> 00:34:35,609
Creeps get off
on others' misfortunes.

607
00:34:35,768 --> 00:34:37,049
You're not one?

608
00:34:37,289 --> 00:34:40,568
Are you?
You don't even want a healthy kid.

609
00:34:44,849 --> 00:34:47,850
One day, a doctor I saw
told me in secret

610
00:34:48,009 --> 00:34:51,729
you can suffocate a baby
with surgical swabs.

611
00:34:52,809 --> 00:34:55,530
I replied
there must be a less cruel way

612
00:34:55,690 --> 00:34:57,250
to get rid of a child.

613
00:34:57,890 --> 00:34:59,370
It worried me so.

614
00:35:03,492 --> 00:35:04,531
In England,

615
00:35:04,690 --> 00:35:07,930
if a woman commits a crime
within 6 weeks of childbirth,

616
00:35:08,091 --> 00:35:09,651
she won't go to court.

617
00:35:10,171 --> 00:35:11,291
I read this.

618
00:35:12,691 --> 00:35:15,932
Our law has a clause stipulating that...

619
00:35:16,211 --> 00:35:18,971
during that time
women aren't sound of mind.

620
00:35:20,411 --> 00:35:23,132
You can kill your kid
and get away with it!

621
00:35:24,492 --> 00:35:27,012
You'd have to be careful, but yes.

622
00:35:31,893 --> 00:35:33,293
Honestly...

623
00:35:36,613 --> 00:35:38,133
has the thought

624
00:35:38,653 --> 00:35:40,733
ever crossed your mind

625
00:35:41,333 --> 00:35:42,893
about jumping out a window?

626
00:35:45,853 --> 00:35:46,893
Yes.

627
00:35:46,894 --> 00:35:47,934
A lot?

628
00:35:48,734 --> 00:35:49,694
Sometimes.

629
00:35:51,054 --> 00:35:52,614
What stopped you?

630
00:35:54,815 --> 00:35:57,734
It isn't that I want to die,

631
00:35:59,054 --> 00:36:00,494
it's that I want to live.

632
00:36:02,655 --> 00:36:04,295
I want life to be better.

633
00:36:05,175 --> 00:36:07,896
So better to stay in it a bit longer.

634
00:36:21,707 --> 00:36:23,067
You're not saying much.

635
00:36:23,787 --> 00:36:24,747
I'm listening.

636
00:36:25,267 --> 00:36:26,907
I'm an écouteur.

637
00:36:27,067 --> 00:36:29,148
I'm an audiophiliac.

638
00:36:29,307 --> 00:36:32,028
I'm a talk fetishist!

639
00:36:33,788 --> 00:36:34,868
Very erotic.

640
00:36:35,908 --> 00:36:38,748
You just sitting there, listening.

641
00:36:46,629 --> 00:36:47,629
A new belt!

642
00:37:22,351 --> 00:37:25,752
Very cozy with you on a snowy day.

643
00:37:26,472 --> 00:37:28,992
Lying like this,
the snow going round.

644
00:37:30,432 --> 00:37:32,032
Quite wonderful.

645
00:37:49,473 --> 00:37:50,634
Feel all right?

646
00:37:53,634 --> 00:37:54,753
Sweet...

647
00:37:55,473 --> 00:37:56,634
girl.

648
00:37:58,274 --> 00:37:59,674
What are you thinking?

649
00:38:00,074 --> 00:38:01,234
No thoughts.

650
00:38:02,954 --> 00:38:04,315
Is that nice?

651
00:38:05,955 --> 00:38:07,155
It's sublime.

652
00:38:09,115 --> 00:38:10,075
Sublime...

653
00:38:19,475 --> 00:38:21,076
Which do you prefer?

654
00:38:21,676 --> 00:38:23,396
I can't answer that question.

655
00:38:23,996 --> 00:38:26,716
But I want to know. Which do you prefer?

656
00:38:26,875 --> 00:38:27,876
For fondling?

657
00:38:28,876 --> 00:38:31,756
The uncircumcised.

658
00:38:33,717 --> 00:38:36,397
It's interesting to move the sheath
over the head.

659
00:38:37,882 --> 00:38:38,842
Yes.

660
00:38:39,597 --> 00:38:40,797
And for fucking?

661
00:38:41,518 --> 00:38:44,717
Don't ask this of
a nicely brought-up English female.

662
00:38:45,037 --> 00:38:46,038
For fucking?

663
00:38:46,518 --> 00:38:47,758
For fucking...

664
00:38:48,478 --> 00:38:49,438
the circumcised.

665
00:38:53,758 --> 00:38:54,838
Why?

666
00:38:54,839 --> 00:38:56,478
It's like having it naked.

667
00:38:57,998 --> 00:38:59,479
The naked penis.

668
00:39:00,319 --> 00:39:01,879
The naked penis.

669
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:05,159
Naked penis.

670
00:39:05,599 --> 00:39:08,359
Why does everyone hate Israel so much?

671
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:09,960
Can you explain it to me?

672
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:11,719
I think I'd be able to.

673
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:12,840
Really?

674
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,960
I have an argument
every time I go out.

675
00:39:16,119 --> 00:39:18,920
And I come home in a fury
and can't sleep.

676
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,760
I'm allied with the planet's
two greatest scourges:

677
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,121
you and you.

678
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:25,881
Israel and America.

679
00:39:26,041 --> 00:39:28,441
Let's grant
that Israel's a terrible country...

680
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:31,161
But I won't, I won't!

681
00:39:31,321 --> 00:39:33,601
But let's grant it. All right?

682
00:39:34,481 --> 00:39:37,521
Still, there are many countries
far more terrible.

683
00:39:37,922 --> 00:39:40,202
I've never understood it myself.

684
00:39:40,361 --> 00:39:44,562
It's one of the most curious freaks
in modern history.

685
00:39:44,722 --> 00:39:45,882
But why?

686
00:39:46,122 --> 00:39:47,082
Tell me.

687
00:39:47,762 --> 00:39:50,202
- Do you ever ask people?
- Yes, often.

688
00:39:50,362 --> 00:39:51,843
And what do they say?

689
00:39:52,083 --> 00:39:55,602
How they treat Arabs is
the greatest crime in human history?

690
00:39:55,763 --> 00:39:57,403
Sure, that's what they say!

691
00:39:57,563 --> 00:40:00,603
One of the most extraordinary
pieces of hypocrisy

692
00:40:00,763 --> 00:40:03,203
in the history of humanity!

693
00:40:07,723 --> 00:40:10,924
The Czech director.

694
00:40:11,244 --> 00:40:13,244
Olina meets me at the airport.

695
00:40:13,404 --> 00:40:16,124
I bring her a Laura Ashley dress.
Perfume.

696
00:40:16,325 --> 00:40:19,124
She kisses me.
There's dinner waiting.

697
00:40:19,404 --> 00:40:20,725
Then the door opens.

698
00:40:20,885 --> 00:40:24,365
A six-foot Black man.
Shoes for 200 dollars.

699
00:40:24,725 --> 00:40:26,365
Gold necklace, gold ring.

700
00:40:27,165 --> 00:40:28,806
"This is Andrew.

701
00:40:29,166 --> 00:40:31,245
Can he live in the spare room?"

702
00:40:31,405 --> 00:40:35,006
"There's no future for all of us here."

703
00:40:35,166 --> 00:40:37,166
Her: "Can he stay for dinner?"

704
00:40:37,406 --> 00:40:40,166
It's my first night back, but okay.

705
00:40:40,526 --> 00:40:44,446
You can't tell a Black man:
"No you can't stay for dinner."

706
00:40:46,647 --> 00:40:50,127
The next morning,
my Olinka tells me:

707
00:40:50,287 --> 00:40:52,327
"I love him.
I want to marry him."

708
00:40:52,487 --> 00:40:55,407
I was close to buying a hunting rifle.

709
00:40:55,567 --> 00:40:58,287
Not a shotgun, a fucking hunting rifle.

710
00:40:58,767 --> 00:41:00,047
I had a heart attack.

711
00:41:00,767 --> 00:41:02,807
Terrible chest pains.

712
00:41:03,887 --> 00:41:06,808
A week in the hospital,
it cost me a fortune.

713
00:41:07,848 --> 00:41:11,368
My lawyer laughs:
"You and your wife got a joint account!"

714
00:41:11,728 --> 00:41:12,768
You couldn't have?

715
00:41:12,928 --> 00:41:14,129
I trusted her!

716
00:41:14,529 --> 00:41:16,368
She was a little Czech girl!

717
00:41:16,529 --> 00:41:17,729
Look at her.

718
00:41:18,449 --> 00:41:20,609
Not an American bitch!

719
00:41:21,329 --> 00:41:23,009
Ivan, I'm American...

720
00:41:23,170 --> 00:41:25,450
This girl, a Catholic, was a virgin!

721
00:41:25,609 --> 00:41:28,129
She went to bed in a long nightdress.

722
00:41:28,290 --> 00:41:29,809
Never had an orgasm.

723
00:41:29,970 --> 00:41:32,570
I'm not young, but I'm a good worker.

724
00:41:32,730 --> 00:41:34,530
Nothing! Impossible!

725
00:41:34,690 --> 00:41:36,251
Now she wants to divorce.

726
00:41:36,410 --> 00:41:39,290
She loves that man,
she suffers a great deal.

727
00:41:39,450 --> 00:41:41,411
Okay, fine, perfect!

728
00:41:41,570 --> 00:41:44,411
But he didn't fuck her like you did.

729
00:41:44,851 --> 00:41:45,891
He fucked her for fucking.

730
00:41:46,051 --> 00:41:48,731
You're more interested in listening
than fucking.

731
00:41:49,371 --> 00:41:50,892
I never fucked Olina.

732
00:41:51,451 --> 00:41:53,451
You're lying to me, my friend.

733
00:41:53,611 --> 00:41:55,892
She's lying, if she said that.

734
00:41:56,451 --> 00:41:58,172
Fucked her 4 times in New York.

735
00:41:58,332 --> 00:42:01,332
When we were such good friends
after I came from Prague.

736
00:42:01,492 --> 00:42:03,092
Not even once!

737
00:42:03,253 --> 00:42:05,332
Stop! Olina told me everything!

738
00:42:05,492 --> 00:42:07,893
"Why does he ask irritating questions?"

739
00:42:08,053 --> 00:42:09,133
Stop, it's not true!

740
00:42:09,493 --> 00:42:12,053
Deceitful bastard!
You can't resist a story

741
00:42:12,213 --> 00:42:15,093
even from the wife
of this refugee friend.

742
00:42:15,253 --> 00:42:17,813
It limits you as a friend
and as a novelist.

743
00:42:18,413 --> 00:42:19,694
My books stink too?

744
00:42:19,853 --> 00:42:22,694
- Ivan, they're waiting...
- No, get lost.

745
00:42:23,333 --> 00:42:24,614
Don't shout at her!

746
00:42:25,334 --> 00:42:27,374
What did you expect, you bastard?

747
00:42:27,534 --> 00:42:30,855
That I'd help perfect your lousy art
after you banged her?

748
00:42:31,134 --> 00:42:32,814
Insult me if you like!

749
00:42:32,974 --> 00:42:34,254
You insist on playing dumb.

750
00:42:34,415 --> 00:42:36,855
Look at you! You're not even sweating.

751
00:42:37,014 --> 00:42:41,135
Yeah, a great actor!
But what a terrible novelist.

752
00:42:41,295 --> 00:42:43,975
I'm not sweating
because none of this is true.

753
00:42:44,135 --> 00:42:46,375
When I'm guilty,
I'm an awful actor!

754
00:42:46,535 --> 00:42:47,896
Believe me,

755
00:42:48,055 --> 00:42:49,696
I out-sweat Nixon!

756
00:42:50,856 --> 00:42:52,816
Stop with this... Stop.

757
00:42:53,296 --> 00:42:56,456
Her leaving you
is obviously killing you.

758
00:42:56,696 --> 00:43:00,257
It's awful. And professionally,
things haven't worked out here.

759
00:43:00,497 --> 00:43:01,697
And now you lose Olina.

760
00:43:01,856 --> 00:43:04,537
Since the first time we all met,

761
00:43:04,697 --> 00:43:05,977
you've been ogling her.

762
00:43:06,137 --> 00:43:09,257
Yes, I ogled her!
She's young and pretty.

763
00:43:09,457 --> 00:43:11,778
But ogling isn't fucking!

764
00:43:11,937 --> 00:43:13,977
You American shitface.

765
00:43:14,257 --> 00:43:15,777
Pampered little liar!

766
00:43:16,617 --> 00:43:19,258
Put that down!
You'll have another heart attack!

767
00:43:19,498 --> 00:43:21,338
Don't worry, American boy.

768
00:43:21,498 --> 00:43:23,578
I won't shoot you in the trousers.

769
00:43:23,738 --> 00:43:25,178
There's no cause to!

770
00:43:25,459 --> 00:43:27,979
No, I'll shoot you in the ears.

771
00:43:30,178 --> 00:43:33,379
The governor's pardon.

772
00:43:41,900 --> 00:43:44,099
Yes it's me. How did it go?

773
00:43:50,300 --> 00:43:51,261
A miracle...

774
00:43:51,420 --> 00:43:52,499
No!

775
00:43:52,500 --> 00:43:53,485
Yes!

776
00:43:53,486 --> 00:43:54,446
No!

777
00:43:54,981 --> 00:43:56,700
It's a miracle!

778
00:43:59,621 --> 00:44:01,381
Tell me about the miracle.

779
00:44:03,341 --> 00:44:06,821
The tomography
showed no sign of pathology.

780
00:44:07,861 --> 00:44:10,942
So this thing
which was incredibly virulent

781
00:44:11,101 --> 00:44:13,342
is responding to the treatment.

782
00:44:13,622 --> 00:44:15,782
- This is wonderful!
- Yes, wait.

783
00:44:15,942 --> 00:44:18,542
The doctor's pleased.
He'd given me a year.

784
00:44:18,702 --> 00:44:20,142
The prognostic has changed!

785
00:44:20,303 --> 00:44:21,263
Phew!

786
00:44:21,462 --> 00:44:22,463
Phew!

787
00:44:22,703 --> 00:44:23,942
As you say.

788
00:44:24,182 --> 00:44:25,663
You did all right.

789
00:44:26,903 --> 00:44:28,823
Yeah, I did all right.

790
00:44:29,903 --> 00:44:31,704
Know what this is called?

791
00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:34,704
The governor's pardon.

792
00:44:35,064 --> 00:44:36,464
But who's the governor?

793
00:44:36,624 --> 00:44:37,743
No idea!

794
00:44:37,904 --> 00:44:41,184
But clearly
I must stay on his good side.

795
00:44:42,864 --> 00:44:44,864
A tomography of your whole body?

796
00:44:46,225 --> 00:44:47,185
No.

797
00:44:47,624 --> 00:44:49,624
From the groin to the heart.

798
00:44:50,265 --> 00:44:51,825
And the doctor said

799
00:44:52,504 --> 00:44:55,265
if there was a tumor anywhere else,

800
00:44:55,545 --> 00:44:58,305
there'd be a liquid, a shadow,
in that area,

801
00:44:58,706 --> 00:44:59,906
the starting area.

802
00:45:00,146 --> 00:45:01,185
It's called...

803
00:45:02,225 --> 00:45:04,586
"the preferred path" of these cancers.

804
00:45:04,745 --> 00:45:05,945
Know about that?

805
00:45:06,586 --> 00:45:08,786
"The Preferred Path".

806
00:45:10,666 --> 00:45:11,986
Unbelievable.

807
00:45:13,107 --> 00:45:16,506
This is terrific, this is terrific news!

808
00:45:16,667 --> 00:45:17,627
Yes!

809
00:45:18,627 --> 00:45:20,667
It's been quite a day.

810
00:45:24,307 --> 00:45:25,547
I was scared.

811
00:45:26,548 --> 00:45:28,027
I was so scared.

812
00:45:31,188 --> 00:45:34,788
I thought there might be something...

813
00:45:36,708 --> 00:45:38,789
hideous in my nature

814
00:45:41,108 --> 00:45:44,429
that would make me weep at the news.

815
00:45:46,868 --> 00:45:49,309
You're entitled to any reaction.

816
00:45:52,230 --> 00:45:53,629
No preferred paths

817
00:45:53,790 --> 00:45:55,189
for emotions.

818
00:45:56,190 --> 00:45:58,110
So now I'll say goodbye.

819
00:45:58,950 --> 00:45:59,910
Already?

820
00:46:01,310 --> 00:46:03,030
What more is there to say?

821
00:46:03,430 --> 00:46:05,390
I knew you'd react like this.

822
00:46:06,511 --> 00:46:08,150
- Come on.- No!

823
00:46:08,311 --> 00:46:10,831
We must remain friends.

824
00:46:12,391 --> 00:46:14,071
Old friends.

825
00:46:15,911 --> 00:46:19,191
Anyway,
I'm not completely out of the woods.

826
00:46:19,352 --> 00:46:22,271
So you can still be a little nice to me.

827
00:46:23,552 --> 00:46:25,832
And once you're out of the woods?

828
00:46:26,432 --> 00:46:28,552
Then you can be yourself.

829
00:46:28,862 --> 00:46:29,872
All right.

830
00:46:30,712 --> 00:46:31,752
All right.

831
00:46:35,032 --> 00:46:36,192
Have a good day.

832
00:46:38,033 --> 00:46:39,153
Goodnight.

833
00:46:41,593 --> 00:46:44,793
Winter sports.

834
00:47:05,155 --> 00:47:06,434
Remember me?

835
00:47:07,235 --> 00:47:08,435
It's coming back.

836
00:47:09,355 --> 00:47:10,355
Slowly.

837
00:47:10,515 --> 00:47:12,075
Take your time.

838
00:47:15,795 --> 00:47:16,875
You got thinner?

839
00:47:18,195 --> 00:47:19,755
You got used to someone fatter.

840
00:47:22,596 --> 00:47:24,596
It's great to see you.

841
00:47:28,916 --> 00:47:31,156
I wish you could have come skiing.

842
00:47:31,317 --> 00:47:32,637
It's so peaceful.

843
00:47:33,037 --> 00:47:36,197
Going up the hill very quietly
on the lift.

844
00:47:36,437 --> 00:47:38,877
- You're with me on many mountains.
- Me?

845
00:47:39,037 --> 00:47:40,797
Yes, while riding the T-bar.

846
00:47:41,078 --> 00:47:42,878
Me and the hiss of the T-bar.

847
00:47:43,238 --> 00:47:44,318
That's right.

848
00:47:52,278 --> 00:47:53,758
Everything's right at home?

849
00:47:53,919 --> 00:47:55,558
Yes, perfect.

850
00:47:56,559 --> 00:47:59,639
Nothing better for a marriage
than an old boyfriend nearby.

851
00:48:04,159 --> 00:48:05,599
Is that what you think?

852
00:48:08,399 --> 00:48:11,400
Mother taught me
never to sit cunt exposed.

853
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,680
And legs over a man's shoulders?

854
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:15,520
She never mentioned that.

855
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:18,320
I don't think she had any idea

856
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:20,081
I'd go in for that.

857
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:21,521
Smell this.

858
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:28,121
It really smells good.

859
00:48:54,403 --> 00:48:55,402
You all right?

860
00:48:56,963 --> 00:48:59,443
I'm going to have another birthday
tomorrow.

861
00:48:59,603 --> 00:49:02,123
- Not again?
- Yes. No way around it.

862
00:49:02,444 --> 00:49:04,683
Subtract 1929 from 1988,

863
00:49:04,844 --> 00:49:06,484
you get 59.

864
00:49:07,403 --> 00:49:08,843
Why take it so hard?

865
00:49:09,004 --> 00:49:10,004
Listen to you!

866
00:49:10,964 --> 00:49:13,804
You piss and moan about being 34.

867
00:49:14,085 --> 00:49:16,444
I know why I take it so hard.

868
00:49:16,605 --> 00:49:17,644
But you?

869
00:49:18,965 --> 00:49:20,844
Because life will be over soon.

870
00:49:22,885 --> 00:49:24,045
I'll be dead.

871
00:49:26,925 --> 00:49:27,925
There you go.

872
00:49:30,965 --> 00:49:32,166
Vodka?

873
00:49:32,686 --> 00:49:34,606
Why do these Slavs come see you?

874
00:49:34,765 --> 00:49:36,606
Because I like them.

875
00:49:36,766 --> 00:49:38,766
Really? More than the English?

876
00:49:39,046 --> 00:49:40,086
Why?

877
00:49:40,326 --> 00:49:42,086
Because they suffer so much?

878
00:49:44,286 --> 00:49:45,446
You know,

879
00:49:46,406 --> 00:49:50,767
displaced persons have things to say.
Sometimes you can lend a hand.

880
00:49:51,487 --> 00:49:53,887
Soft spot for victims?
From being Jewish?

881
00:49:54,047 --> 00:49:56,967
I don't see myself as a Jewish victim!

882
00:49:57,327 --> 00:50:00,008
You're among the few Jews
born in this century

883
00:50:00,168 --> 00:50:03,328
who miraculously escaped the horror.

884
00:50:03,528 --> 00:50:07,048
So those who didn't escape,
Jewish or not, fascinate you.

885
00:50:07,208 --> 00:50:08,648
They don't fascinate you?

886
00:50:08,888 --> 00:50:09,889
I'm curious,

887
00:50:10,048 --> 00:50:13,408
but never would I go on holiday
in those countries,

888
00:50:13,569 --> 00:50:14,608
I must admit.

889
00:50:14,968 --> 00:50:16,689
How did get you get into that?

890
00:50:16,889 --> 00:50:18,129
By accident.

891
00:50:18,369 --> 00:50:20,809
I'd finished a book,
I was traveling.

892
00:50:21,049 --> 00:50:23,090
It was '71.

893
00:50:23,450 --> 00:50:26,530
My friend and I drove
from Vienna to Prague.

894
00:50:28,409 --> 00:50:31,170
I walked around a bit
and I felt good.

895
00:50:31,330 --> 00:50:35,211
I had a publisher there,
so I figured I may as well meet him.

896
00:50:35,370 --> 00:50:37,450
Next day, I go and introduce myself.

897
00:50:37,611 --> 00:50:39,051
And the director

898
00:50:39,210 --> 00:50:41,931
gathers all his staff around me

899
00:50:42,090 --> 00:50:44,291
to toast me with slivovitz.

900
00:50:44,451 --> 00:50:46,291
They were already plastered.

901
00:50:46,451 --> 00:50:49,252
Then an employee
comes and whispers to me:

902
00:50:49,411 --> 00:50:51,052
"Our director is a swine!

903
00:50:51,211 --> 00:50:53,532
He'll go rat on us to the regime."

904
00:50:53,772 --> 00:50:56,572
I found that extraordinary
and I felt even better.

905
00:50:56,731 --> 00:50:58,532
A thousand stories later,

906
00:50:58,972 --> 00:51:02,532
I got corralled
on the street by the police.

907
00:51:02,693 --> 00:51:04,013
This was in '75.

908
00:51:04,172 --> 00:51:06,533
By then,
I was used to cops tailing me,

909
00:51:06,692 --> 00:51:08,933
especially when visiting writer friends.

910
00:51:09,293 --> 00:51:10,893
But it was the spring,

911
00:51:11,053 --> 00:51:14,853
two police approached me in the street
and asked for ID.

912
00:51:16,173 --> 00:51:19,333
I showed them my passport,
visa, hotel form

913
00:51:19,494 --> 00:51:22,293
and they declared I must go to precinct.

914
00:51:22,734 --> 00:51:24,894
Then I saw a trolley stop

915
00:51:25,214 --> 00:51:26,494
a few feet away.

916
00:51:26,894 --> 00:51:28,334
I start shouting:

917
00:51:28,894 --> 00:51:32,575
"I'm being harassed by the police!

918
00:51:32,734 --> 00:51:36,535
I demand to be taken
to the American Embassy."

919
00:51:36,855 --> 00:51:39,175
The cop repeats: "Come to station."

920
00:51:39,335 --> 00:51:42,176
He spoke in Czech
but I got the fucking drift.

921
00:51:42,335 --> 00:51:44,375
I refused to move, I kept shouting.

922
00:51:44,535 --> 00:51:45,975
It went on for 15 minutes.

923
00:51:46,136 --> 00:51:47,456
"No! No! No!"

924
00:51:47,776 --> 00:51:49,816
The uniformed cop
went up the street

925
00:51:49,976 --> 00:51:52,776
to ask a plainclothes cop there.

926
00:51:52,936 --> 00:51:56,136
Just then,
a trolley stops at the station.

927
00:51:56,296 --> 00:51:59,776
I think:
"Why wait to get arrested? I'm stupid!"

928
00:52:00,017 --> 00:52:01,536
I jump on the trolley.

929
00:52:01,937 --> 00:52:05,577
My heart's pounding,
I'm covered in sweat.

930
00:52:05,777 --> 00:52:08,177
I change trolleys,
run down streets.

931
00:52:08,337 --> 00:52:10,417
I get back to my hotel, shaking.

932
00:52:10,978 --> 00:52:12,937
I call my Czech friend.

933
00:52:13,258 --> 00:52:16,657
And my friend bursts out laughing.
He says:

934
00:52:16,818 --> 00:52:20,858
"The police only want to harass you.
They scared you."

935
00:52:23,738 --> 00:52:26,258
Never again did I get a visa
for Czechoslovakia.

936
00:52:27,059 --> 00:52:28,778
The evening I left,

937
00:52:29,258 --> 00:52:33,219
they arrested my friend,
interrogated him all night long.

938
00:52:33,899 --> 00:52:37,020
"Why does this writer
keep coming to Czechoslovakia?"

939
00:52:37,179 --> 00:52:38,220
Answer, you dickwad!

940
00:52:38,379 --> 00:52:40,140
Why does he come to Prague?

941
00:52:40,299 --> 00:52:42,500
Haven't you read his books?

942
00:52:43,419 --> 00:52:45,620
He comes to Czechoslovakia

943
00:52:45,900 --> 00:52:47,660
for the girls!

944
00:52:49,380 --> 00:52:50,380
For the girls.

945
00:52:51,980 --> 00:52:53,060
Was that true?

946
00:52:53,221 --> 00:52:55,581
No, Czech jokes attracted me.

947
00:52:55,741 --> 00:52:57,940
In England,
it's the girls I'm into.

948
00:53:06,461 --> 00:53:08,861
I feel like I don't have a cunt today.

949
00:53:09,262 --> 00:53:11,302
I left it at home.
Don't bring it up.

950
00:53:11,982 --> 00:53:13,062
Okay.

951
00:53:14,462 --> 00:53:16,702
- You want me to go?
- Hardly.

952
00:53:18,862 --> 00:53:20,583
Are you near tears again?

953
00:53:21,383 --> 00:53:22,943
Yes, I feel teary.

954
00:53:24,222 --> 00:53:25,423
Can I eat something?

955
00:53:26,783 --> 00:53:30,463
I have strawberries, melons,
wine, some bread.

956
00:53:30,664 --> 00:53:32,023
Even marijuana.

957
00:53:33,103 --> 00:53:34,704
A little of each, please?

958
00:53:34,864 --> 00:53:36,064
Of course!

959
00:53:52,069 --> 00:53:54,629
Imagine I die and,
going through my notes,

960
00:53:55,029 --> 00:53:57,950
a biographer comes across your name.
He asks you:

961
00:53:58,310 --> 00:53:59,669
Did you know him?

962
00:54:00,230 --> 00:54:01,990
Would you talk to him?

963
00:54:03,190 --> 00:54:05,070
It depends how...

964
00:54:05,470 --> 00:54:07,390
how intelligent he is.

965
00:54:07,550 --> 00:54:11,070
And if he's someone really serious.

966
00:54:11,950 --> 00:54:14,591
He liked you a lot,
I can tell you that.

967
00:54:14,790 --> 00:54:16,911
Can you tell me
something about him?

968
00:54:17,071 --> 00:54:18,271
Why are you doing this?

969
00:54:18,551 --> 00:54:20,711
I'm curious. What would you say?

970
00:54:20,991 --> 00:54:22,351
He wrote none of his books.

971
00:54:22,511 --> 00:54:24,712
A series of mistresses wrote them.

972
00:54:24,911 --> 00:54:26,632
I wrote the last two.

973
00:54:26,791 --> 00:54:30,952
Look, Miss, you're very sweet
and very pretty.

974
00:54:31,112 --> 00:54:33,312
But you're not telling me the truth.

975
00:54:34,072 --> 00:54:37,512
What kind of affair
did you have with him?

976
00:54:37,872 --> 00:54:39,152
Very occasional.

977
00:54:39,593 --> 00:54:41,552
- Was he in love with you?
- No.

978
00:54:41,713 --> 00:54:43,913
He'd want to know
what you were like.

979
00:54:44,073 --> 00:54:46,033
Or what I thought you were like.

980
00:54:46,353 --> 00:54:47,713
I'd be wonderful on that.

981
00:54:47,873 --> 00:54:48,834
Would you?

982
00:54:49,713 --> 00:54:51,354
So what's the answer?

983
00:54:51,913 --> 00:54:53,474
There's no short answer.

984
00:54:53,793 --> 00:54:57,074
You were about to tell me
what kind of man he was.

985
00:54:57,434 --> 00:54:58,474
I won't tell you.

986
00:54:58,834 --> 00:55:01,794
Even if I did,
you wouldn't put it in the book.

987
00:55:01,954 --> 00:55:03,514
What was he like to you?

988
00:55:03,674 --> 00:55:05,035
He was...

989
00:55:06,994 --> 00:55:08,063
very nice.

990
00:55:12,515 --> 00:55:13,915
Can we stop?

991
00:55:14,515 --> 00:55:16,155
No, not yet.

992
00:55:17,435 --> 00:55:20,156
Did you go to the funeral?

993
00:55:21,755 --> 00:55:25,996
Thank God, it was in the morning.
My beloved husband gets home late.

994
00:55:26,476 --> 00:55:29,517
So as not to be alone,
I took my child to the park.

995
00:55:30,756 --> 00:55:32,316
Had I gone to the cemetery,

996
00:55:32,596 --> 00:55:35,076
I couldn't have shared it with anyone.

997
00:55:35,717 --> 00:55:37,477
There, it would have been

998
00:55:37,877 --> 00:55:40,397
his family, his friends, his wife.

999
00:55:42,077 --> 00:55:44,758
A Jewish funeral which I don't think

1000
00:55:44,917 --> 00:55:46,157
he really wanted.

1001
00:55:46,318 --> 00:55:47,638
Can we stop now?

1002
00:55:47,917 --> 00:55:49,717
You're on fire, go on!

1003
00:55:49,878 --> 00:55:52,318
What did he love so about you?

1004
00:55:52,478 --> 00:55:54,678
Drop the "so" and I'll answer.

1005
00:55:55,398 --> 00:55:56,759
Okay, dropped.

1006
00:55:58,079 --> 00:56:01,478
I was young, I was needy, I was there.

1007
00:56:02,039 --> 00:56:03,998
Not very different from his wives,

1008
00:56:04,639 --> 00:56:05,959
but I was English.

1009
00:56:06,279 --> 00:56:07,439
And that...

1010
00:56:07,719 --> 00:56:10,039
made me a little foreign to him.

1011
00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:12,679
He liked the way I spoke.

1012
00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:15,159
Since his death, are you better?

1013
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:23,641
Come, come...

1014
00:56:32,961 --> 00:56:34,401
Just fair...

1015
00:56:40,161 --> 00:56:43,481
My life began again for good, the day.

1016
00:56:44,081 --> 00:56:46,282
I gave up on him.

1017
00:56:49,042 --> 00:56:50,763
I felt much better.

1018
00:56:51,603 --> 00:56:53,403
But living this...

1019
00:56:54,282 --> 00:56:56,723
reliving this, in front of you,

1020
00:56:56,883 --> 00:56:59,163
in such a cold way,

1021
00:56:59,763 --> 00:57:01,203
fills me with sorrow.

1022
00:57:02,563 --> 00:57:04,444
For me, those times...

1023
00:57:05,323 --> 00:57:06,443
were tremendous.

1024
00:57:07,243 --> 00:57:09,283
Marvelous. I love you.

1025
00:57:10,963 --> 00:57:12,284
You should be the writer.

1026
00:57:12,444 --> 00:57:13,444
No.

1027
00:57:16,084 --> 00:57:18,564
I know what I'm in for.
You have no scruples.

1028
00:57:41,486 --> 00:57:42,806
You're a friend?

1029
00:57:43,646 --> 00:57:45,806
Great. Have a nice day.

1030
00:57:56,767 --> 00:57:58,287
I dozed off.

1031
00:57:58,448 --> 00:57:59,408
Yes.

1032
00:58:05,528 --> 00:58:07,088
I dreamt about you.

1033
00:58:09,208 --> 00:58:12,048
It was the most wonderful dream.

1034
00:58:12,969 --> 00:58:15,329
The essence of you, my dear.

1035
00:58:15,888 --> 00:58:17,609
Can you speak louder?

1036
00:58:18,648 --> 00:58:20,929
I dreamt about you.

1037
00:58:24,049 --> 00:58:26,249
It's hard to say these things.

1038
00:58:26,410 --> 00:58:28,890
That's why your voice is so soft.

1039
00:58:29,490 --> 00:58:32,170
What happened to us in your dream?

1040
00:58:33,210 --> 00:58:34,970
Like in days of yore?

1041
00:58:35,370 --> 00:58:36,330
Better.

1042
00:58:36,450 --> 00:58:38,291
Must have been some dream.

1043
00:58:39,690 --> 00:58:40,770
Yes.

1044
00:58:41,731 --> 00:58:43,571
I was very in love with you.

1045
00:58:44,051 --> 00:58:45,890
- Are you sure?
- Yes!

1046
00:58:49,171 --> 00:58:50,451
I must say...

1047
00:58:52,051 --> 00:58:53,652
that helps.

1048
00:58:55,971 --> 00:58:58,292
It's wonderful seeing you.

1049
00:59:02,732 --> 00:59:07,052
I wish you'd had
the same lovely dream I did.

1050
00:59:07,453 --> 00:59:08,733
Write it out.

1051
00:59:09,292 --> 00:59:12,052
That way I can stick it
in the book about you.

1052
00:59:12,733 --> 00:59:14,053
Don't be silly!

1053
00:59:14,493 --> 00:59:16,733
I'm not laying myself on the line.

1054
00:59:22,214 --> 00:59:23,813
You seem shaky.

1055
00:59:24,734 --> 00:59:27,054
I had chemo this morning.

1056
00:59:28,094 --> 00:59:30,574
Then I have that god-awful operation.

1057
00:59:30,974 --> 00:59:33,255
The after-effects are pretty grim.

1058
00:59:34,494 --> 00:59:36,174
Why does it get worse?

1059
00:59:36,654 --> 00:59:39,695
Because the poison is here,
on the inside.

1060
00:59:42,495 --> 00:59:44,375
When do you get out?

1061
00:59:45,095 --> 00:59:46,336
Tomorrow morning.

1062
00:59:46,495 --> 00:59:49,135
They just throw you out, I swear.

1063
00:59:49,855 --> 00:59:51,736
Then I go home...

1064
00:59:52,176 --> 00:59:54,136
and sleep 14 hours straight.

1065
00:59:56,176 --> 00:59:57,536
You're pale...

1066
00:59:57,976 --> 00:59:59,456
and you're thin.

1067
01:00:00,296 --> 01:00:01,577
You are.

1068
01:00:02,177 --> 01:00:03,377
I wish I were thin.

1069
01:00:03,697 --> 01:00:05,816
I look bursting with health.

1070
01:00:05,977 --> 01:00:09,457
I lose my hair,
but otherwise I look great.

1071
01:00:11,617 --> 01:00:14,377
You lose your hair.
You'll wear a wig.

1072
01:00:14,617 --> 01:00:16,257
No... never.

1073
01:00:16,578 --> 01:00:19,218
I prefer these hideous babushkas.

1074
01:00:21,018 --> 01:00:22,618
Your hair will grow back.

1075
01:00:23,978 --> 01:00:24,938
Yes?

1076
01:00:26,098 --> 01:00:28,339
- It needs help.
- You look good.

1077
01:00:28,498 --> 01:00:31,219
That must mean something.

1078
01:00:35,939 --> 01:00:36,899
Yes.

1079
01:00:37,059 --> 01:00:38,900
That I won't die immediately.

1080
01:00:39,819 --> 01:00:42,579
No but... the worst nightmare is that...

1081
01:00:43,619 --> 01:00:46,780
a surprise awaits the doctors
when they open me up.

1082
01:00:46,979 --> 01:00:49,420
That they'll see I'm full of tumors.

1083
01:00:49,580 --> 01:00:52,221
- Is that possible?
- I don't think so.

1084
01:00:52,740 --> 01:00:54,621
I don't think I should die.

1085
01:00:54,780 --> 01:00:56,061
You won't.

1086
01:01:00,060 --> 01:01:01,821
You said that in my dream!

1087
01:01:03,019 --> 01:01:03,981
See?

1088
01:01:04,141 --> 01:01:06,661
I can't be wrong twice in 24 hours.

1089
01:01:07,462 --> 01:01:09,862
- Say that again.
- I can't be wrong.

1090
01:01:11,101 --> 01:01:12,061
Again!

1091
01:01:12,181 --> 01:01:13,822
You're not going to die.

1092
01:01:16,382 --> 01:01:17,582
One last time.

1093
01:01:20,222 --> 01:01:22,943
You're not going to die.
You're going to live!

1094
01:01:25,943 --> 01:01:27,143
Thank you.

1095
01:01:39,944 --> 01:01:41,064
How are you?

1096
01:01:42,504 --> 01:01:43,504
Not bad.

1097
01:01:44,984 --> 01:01:47,744
What's become
of the star of my seminar?

1098
01:01:49,144 --> 01:01:52,744
I can't seem to communicate to people.

1099
01:01:52,905 --> 01:01:53,865
There.

1100
01:01:54,465 --> 01:01:55,825
That's how I am.

1101
01:01:56,385 --> 01:01:57,665
- You?
- Yes.

1102
01:01:59,065 --> 01:02:02,546
It's frightening.
I can't seem to remember the past.

1103
01:02:02,745 --> 01:02:04,543
I remember you very vaguely.

1104
01:02:04,544 --> 01:02:05,619
Sorry.

1105
01:02:05,906 --> 01:02:06,866
It's because.

1106
01:02:07,265 --> 01:02:10,586
I had shock therapy.
It made it worse.

1107
01:02:10,746 --> 01:02:11,746
What therapy?

1108
01:02:11,906 --> 01:02:14,386
It was actually pretty pleasant.

1109
01:02:15,426 --> 01:02:17,466
They give you sodium pentothal.

1110
01:02:17,867 --> 01:02:21,907
You're out.
When you come around, you're groggy.

1111
01:02:22,747 --> 01:02:25,227
They didn't do much, twice a week.

1112
01:02:25,787 --> 01:02:27,028
I wasn't frightened.

1113
01:02:27,628 --> 01:02:29,587
I'm waiting for something...

1114
01:02:29,987 --> 01:02:31,747
an energy, to come back.

1115
01:02:37,268 --> 01:02:39,748
Actually, I feel... nothing.

1116
01:02:40,349 --> 01:02:42,948
When I speak to people, it's kind of...

1117
01:02:43,428 --> 01:02:44,669
a downer.

1118
01:02:44,989 --> 01:02:47,228
I need to make a huge effort.

1119
01:02:47,549 --> 01:02:49,469
Like right now with you.

1120
01:02:50,229 --> 01:02:51,309
Excuse me.

1121
01:02:54,109 --> 01:02:56,229
Philip, can I have an ashtray?

1122
01:03:04,230 --> 01:03:05,390
Are you on meds?

1123
01:03:05,550 --> 01:03:08,311
I was depressed.
They gave me a combination.

1124
01:03:08,590 --> 01:03:09,710
I don't like that.

1125
01:03:09,871 --> 01:03:11,311
They said that...

1126
01:03:13,791 --> 01:03:16,751
the pills were all compatible,
but with me...

1127
01:03:16,991 --> 01:03:18,351
no such luck.

1128
01:03:18,911 --> 01:03:20,391
Very bad reaction.

1129
01:03:21,191 --> 01:03:22,911
I became extremely paranoid.

1130
01:03:23,072 --> 01:03:24,992
So, re-hospitalized!

1131
01:03:25,912 --> 01:03:28,992
I thought the exam room
was a torture chamber.

1132
01:03:29,432 --> 01:03:32,712
I remember they came into my room
with a paper.

1133
01:03:32,872 --> 01:03:35,793
And they said: "Will you please

1134
01:03:36,112 --> 01:03:38,873
sign this paper
saying you killed your mother?"

1135
01:03:39,633 --> 01:03:41,073
I threw fits.

1136
01:03:42,673 --> 01:03:44,393
How can you ask me to sign that?

1137
01:03:44,553 --> 01:03:45,913
How dare you?

1138
01:03:46,793 --> 01:03:48,154
It was in September.

1139
01:03:48,874 --> 01:03:50,434
It was a hallucination.

1140
01:03:53,833 --> 01:03:56,794
Now I'm on an antipsychotic
to prevent it.

1141
01:03:57,874 --> 01:03:59,874
A small dose, but still...

1142
01:04:00,314 --> 01:04:02,274
What demolished you like this?

1143
01:04:02,834 --> 01:04:04,674
You were fine when I knew you.

1144
01:04:05,755 --> 01:04:07,595
Intellectually stubborn,

1145
01:04:07,754 --> 01:04:08,954
very shrewd.

1146
01:04:09,355 --> 01:04:12,755
Great flair in those black outfits,
very Hamlet.

1147
01:04:13,035 --> 01:04:14,595
Your student pallor.

1148
01:04:14,875 --> 01:04:17,235
Does this now describe your burden?

1149
01:04:17,395 --> 01:04:19,356
That's what you said 5 years ago.

1150
01:04:20,796 --> 01:04:23,556
When you took me to that restaurant
on 3rd Avenue.

1151
01:04:24,116 --> 01:04:26,516
I remember the dinner,
not what we said.

1152
01:04:27,116 --> 01:04:30,157
You wished me luck, said I'd need it.

1153
01:04:30,397 --> 01:04:31,477
Why?

1154
01:04:34,077 --> 01:04:37,117
Because some people
might find me irresistible!

1155
01:04:40,637 --> 01:04:44,078
I was so on edge,
it was one of the few things I heard.

1156
01:04:44,397 --> 01:04:45,638
That I remember!

1157
01:04:46,078 --> 01:04:48,038
I wasn't very calm myself.

1158
01:04:48,238 --> 01:04:50,358
I couldn't have known.
You were my teacher.

1159
01:04:50,518 --> 01:04:53,478
That's why I wasn't too calm.

1160
01:04:58,479 --> 01:05:02,199
You'd slink into class
with that disheveled hair.

1161
01:05:03,239 --> 01:05:06,399
I remember all those egg-heads
reading Kafka,

1162
01:05:06,559 --> 01:05:09,160
explaining howThe Metamorphosis and The Trial

1163
01:05:09,319 --> 01:05:12,040
derived from his relation to his father.

1164
01:05:12,720 --> 01:05:13,800
And you...

1165
01:05:14,359 --> 01:05:16,320
you said wearily "No..."

1166
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:18,160
It was the opposite.

1167
01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:21,521
The source of his relationship
to his father

1168
01:05:21,680 --> 01:05:23,640
is The Metamorphosis
and The Trial.

1169
01:05:23,801 --> 01:05:25,721
Then you threw your haymaker.

1170
01:05:25,880 --> 01:05:28,081
"By the time a writer is 36,

1171
01:05:28,241 --> 01:05:30,601
he stops translating
experience into fiction,

1172
01:05:30,761 --> 01:05:33,121
he imposes his fiction on experience."

1173
01:05:33,641 --> 01:05:34,761
At nineteen,

1174
01:05:35,841 --> 01:05:37,161
you were already somebody.

1175
01:05:38,322 --> 01:05:40,041
I was already crazy?

1176
01:05:40,602 --> 01:05:41,562
Not at all.

1177
01:05:41,721 --> 01:05:43,442
Maybe you were crazy too.

1178
01:05:43,842 --> 01:05:46,522
After one of my classes,
you wrote me a note:

1179
01:05:46,682 --> 01:05:49,322
"I pray for only one thing, every night:

1180
01:05:49,483 --> 01:05:51,122
to be a good writer."

1181
01:05:52,363 --> 01:05:53,803
A good writer...

1182
01:05:55,642 --> 01:05:57,443
Tell me again what happened.

1183
01:05:58,203 --> 01:06:01,683
Make me understand
the shock treatments, the hospitals.

1184
01:06:03,683 --> 01:06:05,523
The old, old story.

1185
01:06:05,843 --> 01:06:07,763
I was attracted to...

1186
01:06:08,123 --> 01:06:10,564
hypnotic womanizers.

1187
01:06:11,044 --> 01:06:12,604
And I went bonkers.

1188
01:06:13,004 --> 01:06:14,364
It was my punishment.

1189
01:06:14,524 --> 01:06:15,844
Is that an accusation?

1190
01:06:16,005 --> 01:06:17,244
No, no.

1191
01:06:18,285 --> 01:06:21,204
No, with you it was fresh.

1192
01:06:21,965 --> 01:06:23,965
Tender, so intimate.

1193
01:06:25,965 --> 01:06:27,245
It was inebriating.

1194
01:06:27,405 --> 01:06:29,926
You never had affairs that weren't...

1195
01:06:30,646 --> 01:06:31,885
so fraught?

1196
01:06:32,365 --> 01:06:33,486
Just pleasant?

1197
01:06:35,566 --> 01:06:36,526
Lots!

1198
01:06:36,766 --> 01:06:37,926
What happened?

1199
01:06:38,286 --> 01:06:39,486
What happened...

1200
01:06:40,606 --> 01:06:42,606
what happened was I got bored.

1201
01:06:44,585 --> 01:06:48,505
The trial.

1202
01:06:52,585 --> 01:06:55,266
Can you explain to the court
why you hate women?

1203
01:06:55,425 --> 01:06:56,425
I don't hate them.

1204
01:06:56,586 --> 01:06:57,986
If you don't,

1205
01:06:58,146 --> 01:07:01,186
then why defame and denigrate them
in your books?

1206
01:07:01,346 --> 01:07:04,666
Why abuse them in your work
and in your life?

1207
01:07:05,306 --> 01:07:08,306
Neither in my work nor my life
do I abuse them.

1208
01:07:08,587 --> 01:07:11,266
We've heard testimony
from expert witnesses.

1209
01:07:11,427 --> 01:07:13,027
You argue before the court

1210
01:07:13,186 --> 01:07:16,987
that these experts with unimpeachable
professional standards

1211
01:07:17,147 --> 01:07:18,587
are either mistaken

1212
01:07:18,747 --> 01:07:19,988
or lying?

1213
01:07:20,468 --> 01:07:21,827
May I ask something?

1214
01:07:26,188 --> 01:07:29,508
What have you ever done
that's useful to women?

1215
01:07:30,788 --> 01:07:32,228
Why do you interpret

1216
01:07:32,388 --> 01:07:35,028
one woman's depiction
as that of all woman?

1217
01:07:35,188 --> 01:07:37,389
You're not allowed to ask questions,

1218
01:07:37,548 --> 01:07:38,909
only to answer them.

1219
01:07:39,749 --> 01:07:41,469
You are charged with sexism,

1220
01:07:42,149 --> 01:07:43,589
misogyny,

1221
01:07:44,069 --> 01:07:45,629
woman abuse,

1222
01:07:45,789 --> 01:07:47,189
slander of women,

1223
01:07:48,029 --> 01:07:49,709
and ruthless seduction.

1224
01:07:50,381 --> 01:07:51,349
Sir?

1225
01:07:51,510 --> 01:07:52,470
Yes?

1226
01:07:52,630 --> 01:07:56,030
Why did you publish books
that cause women suffering?

1227
01:07:56,190 --> 01:07:59,310
You never thought
they'd be fodder for our enemies?

1228
01:08:00,191 --> 01:08:02,150
I can only reply

1229
01:08:02,310 --> 01:08:06,350
that the objectives
of this self-styled equal-rights democracy

1230
01:08:06,511 --> 01:08:09,271
of which you're fond
are not mine

1231
01:08:09,431 --> 01:08:10,751
as a writer!

1232
01:08:11,111 --> 01:08:13,831
We have no desire
to hear you talk literature.

1233
01:08:14,191 --> 01:08:16,831
In your books,
all women are stereotypes.

1234
01:08:16,992 --> 01:08:18,432
They're vicious perverts.

1235
01:08:18,831 --> 01:08:20,511
Why portray Mrs Tarnopol

1236
01:08:20,672 --> 01:08:22,792
is that how you pronounce it?

1237
01:08:23,752 --> 01:08:26,032
As hysterical and psychopathic?

1238
01:08:26,192 --> 01:08:28,312
Why depict women as shrews?

1239
01:08:28,472 --> 01:08:30,032
Why did Shakespeare do it?

1240
01:08:31,912 --> 01:08:35,473
You make it seem
as if every woman must be extolled.

1241
01:08:36,033 --> 01:08:38,593
You compare yourself to Shakespeare!

1242
01:08:39,313 --> 01:08:41,433
Let's delve into your background.

1243
01:08:42,674 --> 01:08:45,074
You were a university professor, right?

1244
01:08:45,233 --> 01:08:46,394
That's right.

1245
01:08:47,513 --> 01:08:51,074
As such, did you engage
in sexual practices with students?

1246
01:08:51,234 --> 01:08:52,394
Humiliating too?

1247
01:08:53,314 --> 01:08:54,514
Not for you?

1248
01:08:54,675 --> 01:08:56,595
They were honored to be chosen?

1249
01:08:59,034 --> 01:09:00,795
How often did you force them

1250
01:09:00,954 --> 01:09:03,835
to copulate with a teacher
acting in loco parentis?

1251
01:09:04,755 --> 01:09:07,756
There was no need to exert force,
trust me.

1252
01:09:08,075 --> 01:09:11,716
How many students
did you influence and exploit?

1253
01:09:12,044 --> 01:09:13,036
Three!

1254
01:09:13,195 --> 01:09:16,276
Over the years
I've had love affairs with three!

1255
01:09:20,596 --> 01:09:23,556
After patronizing us
with a lecture on literature,

1256
01:09:23,717 --> 01:09:26,237
we must now bear
another one on love?

1257
01:09:28,436 --> 01:09:29,637
From you?

1258
01:09:29,877 --> 01:09:32,317
- You practiced adultery?
- I still do!

1259
01:09:32,477 --> 01:09:33,797
With wives of friends?

1260
01:09:33,957 --> 01:09:37,038
More often with wives of strangers,
like you.

1261
01:09:37,197 --> 01:09:38,877
Who gave more sadistic delight?

1262
01:09:39,038 --> 01:09:41,838
Friends whose wives
you ruthlessly seduced?

1263
01:09:41,997 --> 01:09:44,238
- Or strangers?
- You're beautiful!

1264
01:09:44,718 --> 01:09:46,518
He's exploiting me in court!

1265
01:09:46,678 --> 01:09:48,199
No, you're delightful!

1266
01:09:48,518 --> 01:09:49,639
Brilliant!

1267
01:09:50,158 --> 01:09:51,278
I'm no "girl"!

1268
01:09:51,439 --> 01:09:52,918
This is fucking, baby.

1269
01:09:53,199 --> 01:09:55,359
This is pure pornography!

1270
01:09:55,519 --> 01:09:58,239
I'm fucking you in a court of law!

1271
01:09:59,879 --> 01:10:01,760
Follow me, ladies!

1272
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:05,920
Spring.

1273
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:08,920
When are you due at work?

1274
01:10:11,280 --> 01:10:12,680
In the afternoon.

1275
01:10:13,760 --> 01:10:16,281
I probably shouldn't come to you anyway.

1276
01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:20,400
I've been capricious.

1277
01:10:21,881 --> 01:10:24,241
I think you wanted to try something.

1278
01:10:24,561 --> 01:10:25,721
You tried it.

1279
01:10:25,881 --> 01:10:27,601
For me, you're not capricious.

1280
01:10:29,122 --> 01:10:30,841
I don't want to talk about it.

1281
01:10:32,281 --> 01:10:34,282
Then maybe...

1282
01:10:34,482 --> 01:10:36,602
it's best you don't come.

1283
01:10:41,082 --> 01:10:42,443
I'd love to see you.

1284
01:10:42,803 --> 01:10:44,642
I'm dying to see you.

1285
01:10:44,802 --> 01:10:46,802
You've really unsettled me.

1286
01:10:47,923 --> 01:10:49,922
Sorry if I've been a pain.

1287
01:10:50,083 --> 01:10:51,883
Don't be silly.

1288
01:10:53,523 --> 01:10:54,763
Did you miss me?

1289
01:10:55,123 --> 01:10:56,803
Of course I've missed you!

1290
01:10:57,003 --> 01:10:58,644
Terribly, this afternoon.

1291
01:10:59,204 --> 01:11:00,324
In fact.

1292
01:11:02,324 --> 01:11:03,524
What do you miss?

1293
01:11:03,684 --> 01:11:04,884
- Want to know?
- No!

1294
01:11:05,044 --> 01:11:06,604
No dirty talk, please.

1295
01:11:10,004 --> 01:11:11,084
All right.

1296
01:11:22,365 --> 01:11:23,486
Here I am.

1297
01:11:32,206 --> 01:11:34,966
- I'm heavier?
- Not quite the matron yet.

1298
01:11:36,567 --> 01:11:38,806
I don't worry about anything anymore.

1299
01:11:39,406 --> 01:11:41,807
- I'm not anxious anymore.
- Since I disappeared.

1300
01:11:42,246 --> 01:11:43,607
I don't know since when.

1301
01:11:45,647 --> 01:11:47,967
So how are things on the home front?

1302
01:11:48,367 --> 01:11:49,768
How does he like them?

1303
01:11:50,087 --> 01:11:51,887
Plump and pretty?

1304
01:11:52,607 --> 01:11:54,288
I like them the way you were.

1305
01:11:54,967 --> 01:11:56,968
Thin and neurotic.

1306
01:11:58,288 --> 01:12:00,008
Things are much better.

1307
01:12:00,168 --> 01:12:02,088
Since you've been gone,

1308
01:12:02,489 --> 01:12:06,809
what's happened is
a shift in the balance of power.

1309
01:12:06,968 --> 01:12:08,129
In my favor.

1310
01:12:10,049 --> 01:12:11,969
He behaves much better to me.

1311
01:12:12,369 --> 01:12:13,409
Excellent.

1312
01:12:15,009 --> 01:12:16,290
Thank you, Doctor.

1313
01:12:32,491 --> 01:12:34,810
Seeing me is difficult for you.

1314
01:12:38,171 --> 01:12:39,691
I should have warned you.

1315
01:12:40,691 --> 01:12:42,051
I'd have come anyway.

1316
01:12:52,692 --> 01:12:54,892
My old father lives
at the boiling point.

1317
01:12:56,733 --> 01:12:58,492
An opinion on everything,

1318
01:12:58,653 --> 01:13:00,612
and often it's not mine.

1319
01:13:04,692 --> 01:13:06,893
With my father, I must sometimes

1320
01:13:07,093 --> 01:13:10,013
suppress myself
from acting like a 14-year-old.

1321
01:13:12,493 --> 01:13:13,523
Last summer,

1322
01:13:13,774 --> 01:13:18,054
he got riled up when my brother's son
decided to marry a Puerto Rican.

1323
01:13:18,454 --> 01:13:20,414
Since he can't hide his feelings,

1324
01:13:20,574 --> 01:13:23,375
he got the kid all riled up too.

1325
01:13:24,935 --> 01:13:26,334
I got into my car,

1326
01:13:26,495 --> 01:13:28,615
drove from Connecticut to New Jersey.

1327
01:13:28,855 --> 01:13:31,975
When I got there, he started in on me.

1328
01:13:32,135 --> 01:13:33,455
I listened half an hour.

1329
01:13:33,735 --> 01:13:37,255
Then I decided to give him
a little history lesson.

1330
01:13:37,495 --> 01:13:39,615
I said, Listen, dear father,

1331
01:13:40,015 --> 01:13:43,136
your father,
at the turn of the century, had...

1332
01:13:43,376 --> 01:13:44,496
3 choices.

1333
01:13:45,776 --> 01:13:48,816
One:
stay in Jewish Galicia with Grandma.

1334
01:13:48,976 --> 01:13:52,096
Had he stayed,
what would have happened to him,

1335
01:13:52,256 --> 01:13:53,696
to her, me, you, Sandy?

1336
01:13:54,056 --> 01:13:55,576
Ashes!

1337
01:13:55,777 --> 01:13:57,937
Dad! Ashes!
Everything up in smoke!

1338
01:13:58,096 --> 01:14:00,217
- Don't you agree?
- Yes, but stop!

1339
01:14:00,377 --> 01:14:02,617
I'll continue my logic.
Choice two.

1340
01:14:02,777 --> 01:14:05,417
Your father could have gone
to Palestine!

1341
01:14:05,777 --> 01:14:08,738
Two.
Your father could have gone to Palestine.

1342
01:14:08,938 --> 01:14:12,458
You and Sandy in 1948
would have fought the Arabs.

1343
01:14:12,858 --> 01:14:16,378
At least one of you would have lost
a leg, foot, arm!

1344
01:14:16,538 --> 01:14:19,818
In 67,
I'd have fought in the Six Day War.

1345
01:14:19,978 --> 01:14:22,539
At least some shrapnel in my head.

1346
01:14:22,698 --> 01:14:25,499
- Sure, sure.
- I could have lost an eye!

1347
01:14:25,659 --> 01:14:27,539
Your grandkids: Lebanon, '82.

1348
01:14:27,699 --> 01:14:30,619
Let's assume only one gets killed.
That's Palestine!

1349
01:14:30,779 --> 01:14:33,619
Choice 3: America.
The one your father picked!

1350
01:14:34,099 --> 01:14:35,700
Third choice!

1351
01:14:35,940 --> 01:14:37,819
Go to America!

1352
01:14:37,980 --> 01:14:40,900
In America,
what's the worst thing that can happen?

1353
01:14:41,060 --> 01:14:43,140
Grandson marries a Puerto Rican!

1354
01:14:43,540 --> 01:14:46,260
Stay in Poland
and accept the consequences!

1355
01:14:46,421 --> 01:14:49,901
Go to Israel and accept the consequences
of being an Israeli Jew!

1356
01:14:50,060 --> 01:14:52,461
Or else you live in America! So?

1357
01:14:52,741 --> 01:14:55,141
What do you prefer?

1358
01:14:56,501 --> 01:14:57,822
What did he say?

1359
01:14:57,981 --> 01:15:01,062
He said:
"Okay, stop! You're right! You win!"

1360
01:15:02,822 --> 01:15:06,382
I was thrilled, for once I outfoxed him.

1361
01:15:06,542 --> 01:15:09,222
I said, Dad, know what's next?

1362
01:15:09,502 --> 01:15:11,422
I'll go see that girl's mother.

1363
01:15:11,582 --> 01:15:14,222
She must be torturing her rosary.

1364
01:15:14,383 --> 01:15:15,943
I'll say, You want to live...

1365
01:15:16,543 --> 01:15:18,862
You want to live in Puerto Rico? So,

1366
01:15:19,023 --> 01:15:21,063
your daughter marries a Puerto Rican.

1367
01:15:21,223 --> 01:15:24,143
But you all have to live in Puerto Rico!

1368
01:15:24,623 --> 01:15:26,823
Otherwise, you live in Brooklyn,

1369
01:15:26,984 --> 01:15:30,263
and worst-case scenario,
your daughter marries a Jew.

1370
01:15:30,944 --> 01:15:32,824
My father starts up again!

1371
01:15:32,984 --> 01:15:35,024
"Worst-case scenario?" Meaning?

1372
01:15:35,184 --> 01:15:36,384
Why worst case?

1373
01:15:36,544 --> 01:15:39,624
She should be thrilled
who her daughter's marrying.

1374
01:15:39,784 --> 01:15:42,624
She should be thrilled
who her daughter's marrying!

1375
01:15:42,785 --> 01:15:44,904
Yes, almost as much as you.

1376
01:15:45,065 --> 01:15:46,145
Me?

1377
01:15:46,745 --> 01:15:48,905
So? How did it end?

1378
01:15:49,225 --> 01:15:52,306
The marriage took place at St. Patrick's

1379
01:15:52,465 --> 01:15:53,785
with a rabbi in attendance

1380
01:15:53,945 --> 01:15:56,545
in case they tried
to slip us a fast one.

1381
01:15:56,706 --> 01:15:57,906
What a story!

1382
01:15:58,066 --> 01:16:00,946
Why do they all magnify these things?

1383
01:16:01,306 --> 01:16:04,066
Why do you all try to minimize them?

1384
01:16:04,426 --> 01:16:08,147
In England, when I'm in a public place,
a restaurant, a party,

1385
01:16:08,306 --> 01:16:11,947
if someone uses the word "Jew"
the voice drops a bit.

1386
01:16:13,587 --> 01:16:14,587
Really?

1387
01:16:14,747 --> 01:16:16,667
You all say "Jew"

1388
01:16:16,827 --> 01:16:20,028
the way most people say "shit".

1389
01:16:20,388 --> 01:16:21,427
Jew.

1390
01:16:22,827 --> 01:16:25,308
God, you really are your father's son.

1391
01:16:27,508 --> 01:16:29,628
Whose should I be instead?

1392
01:16:30,228 --> 01:16:31,428
Your mother's?

1393
01:17:09,671 --> 01:17:12,151
Everyone I keep meeting these days says:

1394
01:17:12,311 --> 01:17:13,871
"I remember you at Oxford.

1395
01:17:14,032 --> 01:17:17,232
You wore transparent blouses
and no bra."

1396
01:17:18,592 --> 01:17:21,232
So you're an ex-extrovert.

1397
01:17:21,832 --> 01:17:23,672
Everyone criticized my blue hair,

1398
01:17:23,832 --> 01:17:26,153
and because I exposed my breasts.

1399
01:17:27,032 --> 01:17:30,512
I haven't seen them exposed around here
for a while.

1400
01:17:30,752 --> 01:17:32,432
I don't like them anymore.

1401
01:17:36,433 --> 01:17:37,673
I listen to you.

1402
01:17:38,753 --> 01:17:39,834
A lot.

1403
01:17:41,313 --> 01:17:42,313
Too much.

1404
01:17:42,673 --> 01:17:43,794
Why?

1405
01:17:45,674 --> 01:17:46,794
What is it?

1406
01:17:48,474 --> 01:17:51,434
I'm thinking that I still love you.

1407
01:17:59,194 --> 01:18:00,315
Despite?

1408
01:18:01,075 --> 01:18:02,155
Despite.

1409
01:18:06,515 --> 01:18:08,195
No, no...

1410
01:18:08,795 --> 01:18:09,875
Stop.

1411
01:18:13,076 --> 01:18:14,996
It's beneath you to stay married

1412
01:18:15,156 --> 01:18:17,716
because you think
you can't get another job

1413
01:18:17,876 --> 01:18:20,157
and this way you have a meal ticket.

1414
01:18:20,676 --> 01:18:23,157
A meal ticket is not beneath anyone.

1415
01:18:23,316 --> 01:18:24,996
Yes, it's beneath you.

1416
01:18:25,557 --> 01:18:28,997
If the marriage is over, why not leave?
I don't get it!

1417
01:18:31,357 --> 01:18:32,557
I don't want to.

1418
01:18:33,437 --> 01:18:34,757
There's your dignity.

1419
01:18:36,317 --> 01:18:38,398
There's no dignity without income.

1420
01:18:40,158 --> 01:18:41,638
Clever, but wrong!

1421
01:18:41,798 --> 01:18:43,718
Just the opposite is true!

1422
01:18:43,918 --> 01:18:44,918
Look.

1423
01:18:45,958 --> 01:18:47,438
I'll write you a check.

1424
01:18:48,918 --> 01:18:50,318
It's terribly nice.

1425
01:18:50,519 --> 01:18:52,199
I honestly can't take it.

1426
01:18:52,679 --> 01:18:56,679
Why not just cash it?
Put it in your bank, or hide it.

1427
01:18:56,839 --> 01:18:59,479
Just don't put it in your joint account.

1428
01:19:00,039 --> 01:19:01,239
Can I frame it?

1429
01:19:01,479 --> 01:19:02,479
No.

1430
01:19:02,799 --> 01:19:04,119
Just don't lose it.

1431
01:19:04,479 --> 01:19:06,120
Can I put it in my Bible?

1432
01:19:06,680 --> 01:19:09,680
No, put it in the bank for a rainy day.

1433
01:19:17,080 --> 01:19:19,321
Why not think before throwing it out?

1434
01:19:19,881 --> 01:19:20,961
Thanks very much.

1435
01:19:22,361 --> 01:19:24,081
It'd be best if you took it.

1436
01:19:40,849 --> 01:19:41,968
I'll miss you.

1437
01:19:45,409 --> 01:19:46,569
I'll miss you a lot.

1438
01:19:49,009 --> 01:19:50,489
I'll think of you too.

1439
01:19:52,209 --> 01:19:54,530
It's a real damn shame
for both of us.

1440
01:20:17,851 --> 01:20:21,772
The spouse.

1441
01:20:38,053 --> 01:20:39,773
Tell me what's upsetting you.

1442
01:20:39,932 --> 01:20:43,773
I can't come home from my studio
to dinners like these.

1443
01:20:43,933 --> 01:20:45,573
You don't speak.

1444
01:20:45,733 --> 01:20:47,133
You look awful.

1445
01:20:47,293 --> 01:20:48,493
I don't sleep.

1446
01:20:48,693 --> 01:20:50,894
- Why not? Tell me!
- I don't know.

1447
01:20:51,494 --> 01:20:53,534
Something to do with me?

1448
01:20:54,693 --> 01:20:56,094
I want to know...

1449
01:20:56,334 --> 01:20:57,294
and I don't.

1450
01:20:57,414 --> 01:20:58,574
Here we go.

1451
01:21:02,854 --> 01:21:04,015
What's this about?

1452
01:21:05,415 --> 01:21:07,935
You don't go to your studio to work.

1453
01:21:08,215 --> 01:21:10,535
You go to your studio to fuck.

1454
01:21:10,935 --> 01:21:12,255
You're having an affair.

1455
01:21:13,215 --> 01:21:14,725
You think so?

1456
01:21:14,726 --> 01:21:15,694
Yes.

1457
01:21:15,695 --> 01:21:18,016
There are no women in my studio, alas.

1458
01:21:18,176 --> 01:21:20,735
Apart from the characters in my novel.

1459
01:21:20,896 --> 01:21:23,336
Not your novel, your notebook.

1460
01:21:24,136 --> 01:21:27,576
You forgot to put it in your briefcase,
so I took it.

1461
01:21:28,696 --> 01:21:31,457
Stupidly.
I knew I shouldn't open it.

1462
01:21:51,218 --> 01:21:53,819
You're all worked up for nothing.

1463
01:21:53,978 --> 01:21:55,818
Because you saw a few notes?

1464
01:21:56,178 --> 01:21:57,738
Not notes. They're...

1465
01:22:00,098 --> 01:22:02,179
conversations with that woman.

1466
01:22:02,339 --> 01:22:04,019
- She's imaginary!
- She isn't!

1467
01:22:04,179 --> 01:22:05,819
- She is.
- She's real.

1468
01:22:06,379 --> 01:22:08,739
She goes to your studio.

1469
01:22:09,660 --> 01:22:13,059
She's why...
for months you've been so distracted.

1470
01:22:13,220 --> 01:22:16,300
When I speak,
you can barely stay awake.

1471
01:22:16,460 --> 01:22:19,140
But the second she opens her mouth,

1472
01:22:19,380 --> 01:22:22,460
you can't help taking note
of every word.

1473
01:22:22,820 --> 01:22:24,380
Which are all wonderful.

1474
01:22:28,101 --> 01:22:29,541
"An écouteur."

1475
01:22:30,061 --> 01:22:31,781
"And audiophiliac."

1476
01:22:31,941 --> 01:22:34,382
What a load of pretentious crap!

1477
01:22:34,541 --> 01:22:37,101
Maybe it's because
of the book I'm writing

1478
01:22:37,262 --> 01:22:39,382
that I'm less interested...

1479
01:22:39,542 --> 01:22:40,665
Admit it!

1480
01:22:40,666 --> 01:22:41,661
To what?

1481
01:22:41,662 --> 01:22:43,662
That you never loved me so much.

1482
01:22:43,822 --> 01:22:45,822
Because she doesn't exist!

1483
01:22:45,982 --> 01:22:48,783
If you didn't exist,
I'd love you like that too.

1484
01:22:50,103 --> 01:22:51,382
Incredible!

1485
01:22:51,543 --> 01:22:53,862
I can't believe we're arguing over this!

1486
01:22:54,342 --> 01:22:55,863
It's absurd!

1487
01:22:56,743 --> 01:22:58,183
And I suppose

1488
01:22:58,423 --> 01:23:01,783
talking to Rosalie Nichols was...

1489
01:23:01,984 --> 01:23:03,863
was imaginary too?

1490
01:23:05,104 --> 01:23:06,463
But it's true.

1491
01:23:06,864 --> 01:23:09,024
You told me you'd spoken to her.

1492
01:23:09,343 --> 01:23:13,384
For Rosalie Nichols,
I wrote some of what we said

1493
01:23:13,544 --> 01:23:15,344
and more of what we didn't

1494
01:23:15,504 --> 01:23:17,825
and that I made up.

1495
01:23:18,104 --> 01:23:20,785
I made those things up!

1496
01:23:21,425 --> 01:23:23,385
You read about my Czech friend?

1497
01:23:23,545 --> 01:23:25,065
Yes, I read it all.

1498
01:23:25,225 --> 01:23:27,825
I stupidly sat down
and read it all!

1499
01:23:28,506 --> 01:23:31,105
My Czech friend Ivan,
as crazy as he is,

1500
01:23:31,266 --> 01:23:34,346
never accused me
of sleeping with Olina!

1501
01:23:34,506 --> 01:23:36,105
It's so much better not to know.

1502
01:23:36,426 --> 01:23:38,986
No, I don't believe this melodrama.

1503
01:23:39,146 --> 01:23:40,906
You get all worked up!

1504
01:23:41,066 --> 01:23:42,346
You won't listen...

1505
01:23:42,667 --> 01:23:43,826
You dramatize everything.

1506
01:23:43,987 --> 01:23:46,147
It's you who dramatizes everything!

1507
01:23:46,347 --> 01:23:47,587
I won't explain myself.

1508
01:23:47,746 --> 01:23:51,547
Or remind you that people's voices
hold an appeal for me.

1509
01:23:51,987 --> 01:23:53,747
This notebook is proof!

1510
01:23:54,027 --> 01:23:56,108
I have imagined

1511
01:23:56,267 --> 01:23:59,548
a love story.
It's what I do all the time.

1512
01:23:59,747 --> 01:24:01,547
That notebook is a real woman.

1513
01:24:02,468 --> 01:24:05,348
That notebook is as if Tolstoy had...

1514
01:24:05,508 --> 01:24:08,068
imagined himself in love
with Anna Karenina.

1515
01:24:08,228 --> 01:24:09,267
Or Hardy with...

1516
01:24:09,268 --> 01:24:11,308
I follow my leads
where they take me!

1517
01:24:11,469 --> 01:24:14,508
Not by you or anyone
will I be censored!

1518
01:24:14,669 --> 01:24:17,229
Stop the self-righteous shtick,
don't shout.

1519
01:24:17,389 --> 01:24:19,389
I cannot be screamed at, okay?

1520
01:24:19,549 --> 01:24:21,309
You're trying to confuse me.

1521
01:24:22,069 --> 01:24:25,589
I'm trying to make you
see things straight.

1522
01:24:25,949 --> 01:24:28,669
Yes, Olina did bed down
with a Black guy.

1523
01:24:28,830 --> 01:24:30,670
And Ivan told me about it.

1524
01:24:30,830 --> 01:24:33,150
But he never accused me
of betraying him.

1525
01:24:33,310 --> 01:24:35,110
That's not how I go about it.

1526
01:24:35,310 --> 01:24:38,231
When I write,
I need to compromise myself!

1527
01:24:38,390 --> 01:24:40,271
That's what motivates me.

1528
01:24:40,550 --> 01:24:43,430
As is proved by this fucking argument!

1529
01:24:43,631 --> 01:24:45,711
And the little American loony?

1530
01:24:45,871 --> 01:24:47,911
Control yourself! Think!

1531
01:24:48,231 --> 01:24:49,671
She thinks.

1532
01:24:51,072 --> 01:24:53,112
So go think with her.

1533
01:24:53,631 --> 01:24:56,552
Okay, okay, let's get the notebook.

1534
01:24:56,712 --> 01:25:00,792
We'll sit down,
I'll explain to you line after line

1535
01:25:00,952 --> 01:25:02,072
what I've been up to,

1536
01:25:02,232 --> 01:25:04,912
supposing I'm able to understand it!

1537
01:25:08,032 --> 01:25:10,792
I'm to believe
this Englishwoman doesn't exist?

1538
01:25:11,193 --> 01:25:13,793
So how do you know the things
about English life

1539
01:25:13,953 --> 01:25:16,394
that this imaginary woman tell you?

1540
01:25:16,553 --> 01:25:20,393
Hey, it's my business to seem to know
more than I do.

1541
01:25:20,554 --> 01:25:22,193
But it's so intimate.

1542
01:25:23,074 --> 01:25:26,474
Intimacy is interesting.
It's a subject!

1543
01:25:28,874 --> 01:25:31,314
Are you going to publish the notebook?

1544
01:25:31,474 --> 01:25:33,594
I don't know.
It's occurred to me.

1545
01:25:33,755 --> 01:25:35,115
Publish it as is?

1546
01:25:35,435 --> 01:25:36,635
I said I didn't know.

1547
01:25:36,795 --> 01:25:39,475
Mightn't it be advisable
to change your name?

1548
01:25:40,275 --> 01:25:43,276
Can "Philip, an ashtray"
become "Nathan"?

1549
01:25:43,756 --> 01:25:46,355
No, Zuckerman
is my character in novels.

1550
01:25:46,516 --> 01:25:48,516
This is different.
The notebook is me.

1551
01:25:48,676 --> 01:25:50,155
You just said it's not you.

1552
01:25:50,316 --> 01:25:52,716
It's me imagining.
It's about an imagination.

1553
01:25:52,876 --> 01:25:55,956
Once published, no one will say
it's about an imagination.

1554
01:25:56,116 --> 01:25:58,196
They say my fiction
is autobiography.

1555
01:25:58,556 --> 01:26:00,517
That my autobiography
is fiction.

1556
01:26:00,677 --> 01:26:03,797
Since I'm so dumb
and they're so smart,

1557
01:26:03,956 --> 01:26:06,037
let them decide what it is.

1558
01:26:06,197 --> 01:26:07,677
Sounds like a fun game.

1559
01:26:09,317 --> 01:26:10,837
What if it humiliates me?

1560
01:26:11,157 --> 01:26:12,798
It's a game!

1561
01:26:13,038 --> 01:26:15,038
It's an impersonation of myself!

1562
01:26:15,198 --> 01:26:18,278
I ventriloquize myself,
it's homo ludens.

1563
01:26:18,438 --> 01:26:20,118
Who'd know that besides us?

1564
01:26:20,718 --> 01:26:24,478
I cannot and do not live
in a world of discretion.

1565
01:26:24,638 --> 01:26:26,678
Shame is not for novelists!

1566
01:26:26,839 --> 01:26:30,079
All you have to do is
make the wretched American say:

1567
01:26:30,279 --> 01:26:34,159
"Nathan, an ashtray" and not "Philip".
That's all I ask.

1568
01:26:34,837 --> 01:26:35,798
No.

1569
01:26:35,799 --> 01:26:36,999
- Going?
- Out!

1570
01:26:37,400 --> 01:26:39,920
Being told what to write drives me crazy!

1571
01:26:40,079 --> 01:26:42,200
Don't go out alone!
I'll come along.

1572
01:26:42,359 --> 01:26:45,640
It's over. It's gone far enough.
I can't be hounded.

1573
01:26:45,800 --> 01:26:49,320
I write what I write,
I publish however I want.

1574
01:26:49,480 --> 01:26:52,281
- Fuck what people get wrong!
- Or get right.

1575
01:26:52,440 --> 01:26:54,480
This is a notebook, not a human being!

1576
01:26:54,641 --> 01:26:58,241
You are a human being, like it or not.
So am I, so is she!

1577
01:26:58,401 --> 01:26:59,841
No, she is just words.

1578
01:27:00,001 --> 01:27:02,881
Try as I will, I cannot fuck words!

1579
01:27:03,881 --> 01:27:04,961
I'm going out.

1580
01:27:05,362 --> 01:27:06,322
Alone.

1581
01:27:11,962 --> 01:27:15,882
Epilogue.

1582
01:27:37,884 --> 01:27:39,684
Good, right on time.

1583
01:27:41,484 --> 01:27:44,365
They're preparing a table for us,

1584
01:27:44,524 --> 01:27:45,964
it's not ready yet.

1585
01:27:50,005 --> 01:27:52,165
So... how...

1586
01:27:52,725 --> 01:27:54,365
- How are you?
- How am I?

1587
01:27:54,525 --> 01:27:55,965
I'm very good.

1588
01:27:56,165 --> 01:27:58,286
And you? How are you?

1589
01:27:58,445 --> 01:28:01,526
I wanted to see you to ask
these fascinating questions.

1590
01:28:02,086 --> 01:28:03,206
So how are you?

1591
01:28:03,365 --> 01:28:06,566
Well, I'm doing very well.

1592
01:28:06,726 --> 01:28:10,166
I've tried calling,
but your number's not working.

1593
01:28:11,007 --> 01:28:12,966
What country were you calling?

1594
01:28:13,887 --> 01:28:16,167
- Your studio in England.
- I've left.

1595
01:28:16,446 --> 01:28:17,927
I'm in America for good now.

1596
01:28:18,846 --> 01:28:19,807
Listen.

1597
01:28:21,487 --> 01:28:22,687
How are you?

1598
01:28:23,207 --> 01:28:25,007
- I'm really very well.
- Great!

1599
01:28:26,687 --> 01:28:28,207
I've been thinking about you.

1600
01:28:29,167 --> 01:28:31,807
I read your book,
hesitated about calling.

1601
01:28:32,248 --> 01:28:34,568
- I thought about it a lot.
- So did I.

1602
01:28:34,888 --> 01:28:39,089
And I wondered if it had any effects

1603
01:28:39,608 --> 01:28:40,728
on your marriage.

1604
01:28:42,569 --> 01:28:43,969
He didn't read it.

1605
01:28:45,089 --> 01:28:46,489
Wonderful. Of course.

1606
01:28:46,649 --> 01:28:48,049
Your table is ready.

1607
01:28:58,209 --> 01:29:00,050
So what's new?

1608
01:29:00,370 --> 01:29:01,650
Tell me.

1609
01:29:01,810 --> 01:29:04,250
I'm fine, aren't I?

1610
01:29:04,530 --> 01:29:05,569
Yes.

1611
01:29:05,570 --> 01:29:07,210
I don't know where to start.

1612
01:29:07,651 --> 01:29:09,451
Did you hate me for not calling?

1613
01:29:09,610 --> 01:29:13,371
No, not at all.
I just thought it was a decision.

1614
01:29:14,371 --> 01:29:16,971
I think that the last time we spoke,

1615
01:29:17,931 --> 01:29:20,211
neither of us was very happy.

1616
01:29:20,771 --> 01:29:23,852
I figured you had to go your own way.

1617
01:29:24,011 --> 01:29:26,812
And I suppose I had to go mine.

1618
01:29:27,292 --> 01:29:29,972
It was two years ago,
we went our own ways.

1619
01:29:32,772 --> 01:29:33,732
Yes.

1620
01:29:33,933 --> 01:29:37,932
Well, I'm very glad you called
because I missed you a lot.

1621
01:29:38,253 --> 01:29:40,693
You said you were stopping because...

1622
01:29:40,853 --> 01:29:42,373
the love affair was over.

1623
01:29:43,173 --> 01:29:46,933
No. You said
you wanted to stop seeing me.

1624
01:29:47,254 --> 01:29:48,214
- Really?
- Yes!

1625
01:29:48,373 --> 01:29:49,933
More than once.

1626
01:29:50,334 --> 01:29:51,654
I have a good memory.

1627
01:29:52,294 --> 01:29:53,334
Indeed.

1628
01:29:53,854 --> 01:29:55,094
I was astonished.

1629
01:29:55,654 --> 01:29:58,934
Two people told me:
"I heard your voice in the book."

1630
01:29:59,214 --> 01:30:00,414
- Really?
- Yes.

1631
01:30:00,575 --> 01:30:01,614
Who said that?

1632
01:30:02,615 --> 01:30:06,055
I have friends who read literature
and listen to me.

1633
01:30:06,215 --> 01:30:08,095
You have a distinctive delivery.

1634
01:30:08,255 --> 01:30:10,495
I was in love with you for 20 reasons,

1635
01:30:10,655 --> 01:30:13,135
and that was the most beautiful one.

1636
01:30:14,095 --> 01:30:16,376
For me, it was...

1637
01:30:17,136 --> 01:30:19,376
a long, delightful,

1638
01:30:19,776 --> 01:30:22,576
finally very sad, important...

1639
01:30:22,976 --> 01:30:24,456
I'd say the same.

1640
01:30:24,776 --> 01:30:27,296
No one had ever been so appreciated.

1641
01:30:27,616 --> 01:30:29,497
I was nuts about you.

1642
01:30:30,856 --> 01:30:32,497
- Really?
- You knew it.

1643
01:30:33,136 --> 01:30:34,417
Don't turn English.

1644
01:30:35,297 --> 01:30:36,457
Well...

1645
01:30:38,137 --> 01:30:39,617
I worried a lot about you.

1646
01:30:39,777 --> 01:30:40,857
Really?

1647
01:30:45,178 --> 01:30:47,218
Should I start with the song?

1648
01:30:47,698 --> 01:30:49,018
Do you remember

1649
01:30:49,778 --> 01:30:52,698
that afternoon

1650
01:30:53,178 --> 01:30:55,539
when we tick-tick

1651
01:30:55,698 --> 01:30:57,738
we would meet up

1652
01:30:57,939 --> 01:30:59,939
you and me...

1653
01:31:02,859 --> 01:31:03,939
Yes, yes.

1654
01:31:06,340 --> 01:31:08,740
By the way,
I'm not young anymore.

1655
01:31:09,259 --> 01:31:11,059
When I met you I was still young.

1656
01:31:11,220 --> 01:31:14,419
But when you hit 35,
it's suddenly all over.

1657
01:31:15,060 --> 01:31:18,180
Not all over, but...
some of it is over.

1658
01:31:18,340 --> 01:31:19,901
The glow has gone?

1659
01:31:21,740 --> 01:31:24,140
That was probably gone at 16.

1660
01:31:25,901 --> 01:31:27,181
I'm turning 37.

1661
01:31:27,341 --> 01:31:28,301
Yes...

1662
01:31:28,821 --> 01:31:32,021
I'll throw a party
in the museum dinosaur wing.

1663
01:31:32,181 --> 01:31:33,901
Great idea. Great location.

1664
01:31:34,062 --> 01:31:35,181
You're invited.

1665
01:31:35,541 --> 01:31:37,701
I don't know how to explain it,

1666
01:31:38,181 --> 01:31:41,582
I'm starting to think of myself
quite differently.

1667
01:31:41,742 --> 01:31:44,622
When you stop acting
the lively adolescent.

1668
01:31:45,822 --> 01:31:48,302
It's a difficult transition for women.

1669
01:31:48,463 --> 01:31:50,383
I didn't call you before

1670
01:31:50,623 --> 01:31:54,463
because I didn't want
to disturb your life again.

1671
01:31:55,703 --> 01:31:56,943
You and your husband,

1672
01:31:57,503 --> 01:31:59,023
you still live together?

1673
01:31:59,343 --> 01:32:01,503
We go about things decently.

1674
01:32:02,864 --> 01:32:05,824
I keep wondering
what the big problem is.

1675
01:32:06,743 --> 01:32:09,744
Obviously there are intractable problems.

1676
01:32:10,264 --> 01:32:12,184
Like loneliness.

1677
01:32:13,104 --> 01:32:14,704
I feel terribly lonely.

1678
01:32:15,225 --> 01:32:16,665
I get bored at work.

1679
01:32:17,424 --> 01:32:20,745
But besides the big problems,
I think it's all fine.

1680
01:32:21,504 --> 01:32:22,865
Do you have a lover?

1681
01:32:23,265 --> 01:32:24,745
No, no...

1682
01:32:26,731 --> 01:32:27,705
Listen,

1683
01:32:27,706 --> 01:32:31,345
I was astonished to see this character

1684
01:32:32,226 --> 01:32:33,505
so terribly passive.

1685
01:32:35,426 --> 01:32:37,826
I had no idea, insofar as it's me.

1686
01:32:37,986 --> 01:32:40,146
Insofar as it's you...

1687
01:32:41,466 --> 01:32:44,267
insofar... it's completely you.

1688
01:32:44,426 --> 01:32:46,387
Well, I'm not like that anymore.

1689
01:32:46,547 --> 01:32:47,507
Really?

1690
01:32:47,666 --> 01:32:49,347
I'm a positive person now.

1691
01:32:49,507 --> 01:32:52,267
Thank God I finished my book beforehand.

1692
01:32:52,667 --> 01:32:56,347
Positive people in books
put me straight to sleep.

1693
01:32:56,868 --> 01:33:00,468
Yes, but...
that passivity was terrifying.

1694
01:33:00,788 --> 01:33:02,748
Well, writing alters things.

1695
01:33:03,548 --> 01:33:05,148
I felt angry.

1696
01:33:06,028 --> 01:33:09,988
Like natives who say
photographs steal part of their souls.

1697
01:33:10,429 --> 01:33:12,309
I knew you'd be angry.

1698
01:33:13,708 --> 01:33:14,949
Very angry.

1699
01:33:17,549 --> 01:33:20,229
And when did you get over it?

1700
01:33:21,110 --> 01:33:22,949
I probably haven't.

1701
01:33:28,190 --> 01:33:30,710
God, how I've missed

1702
01:33:30,870 --> 01:33:32,670
talking to you.

1703
01:33:33,310 --> 01:33:34,911
And not taking notes?

1704
01:33:36,630 --> 01:33:37,630
Of course.

1705
01:33:38,230 --> 01:33:39,711
I've missed it too.

1706
01:33:40,710 --> 01:33:42,311
I've missed it so badly.

1707
01:33:43,751 --> 01:33:45,391
I talk to you in my head.

1708
01:33:45,991 --> 01:33:47,351
I talk to you too.

1709
01:33:48,631 --> 01:33:51,712
"Freshfield" was not a good name for me.

1710
01:33:52,312 --> 01:33:53,632
You should have consulted me.

1711
01:33:53,911 --> 01:33:57,432
It's from an English poem,
"Tomorrow to fresh woods..."

1712
01:33:58,072 --> 01:34:00,832
I got it, but it wasn't right. Too easy.

1713
01:34:01,272 --> 01:34:02,712
You haven't lost your bite.

1714
01:34:02,873 --> 01:34:04,793
So you live in America now.

1715
01:34:05,633 --> 01:34:08,113
Was it too Christian for you here?

1716
01:34:08,273 --> 01:34:09,233
True.

1717
01:34:10,633 --> 01:34:13,433
I was missing something here.
I didn't realize.

1718
01:34:13,593 --> 01:34:15,433
Really? What was that?

1719
01:34:16,074 --> 01:34:17,113
The...

1720
01:34:17,593 --> 01:34:18,714
Jews!

1721
01:34:20,553 --> 01:34:21,954
We've got some here.

1722
01:34:22,514 --> 01:34:24,954
I'm talking about Jews with guts.

1723
01:34:25,594 --> 01:34:28,874
Jews with appetite, Jews without shame.

1724
01:34:29,114 --> 01:34:32,554
Brash, angry Jews who eat
with their elbows on the table.

1725
01:34:32,914 --> 01:34:34,915
Insult, argument, impudence.

1726
01:34:35,755 --> 01:34:38,355
- Back in the bosom of the tribe.
- Exactly.

1727
01:34:38,675 --> 01:34:41,035
- Isn't it odd?
- Not very.

1728
01:34:41,675 --> 01:34:43,196
The one who's gone home.

1729
01:34:43,355 --> 01:34:44,795
You read "The Odyssey"?

1730
01:34:45,716 --> 01:34:48,796
An epic of exile and return.
What's your role?

1731
01:34:49,876 --> 01:34:50,956
Nausicaä?

1732
01:34:52,156 --> 01:34:53,156
Calypso?

1733
01:34:53,316 --> 01:34:54,316
Homer.

1734
01:34:56,836 --> 01:34:57,957
I'll write on you.

1735
01:34:58,276 --> 01:35:01,476
Hurry up,
I may write a second one on you.

1736
01:35:01,637 --> 01:35:02,957
You wouldn't do that.

1737
01:35:04,197 --> 01:35:05,397
Would you?

1738
01:35:05,677 --> 01:35:06,877
You'd dare?

1739
01:35:07,317 --> 01:35:08,917
Of course I would.

1740
01:35:09,238 --> 01:35:11,758
This conversation
will be part of it.

1741
01:35:11,917 --> 01:35:14,518
You'd be scraping
the bottom of the barrel.

1742
01:35:14,677 --> 01:35:16,357
Don't underestimate yourself.

1743
01:35:17,158 --> 01:35:19,398
You were a great barrel.

1744
01:35:20,118 --> 01:35:22,238
- For me, you were.
- Was I?

1745
01:35:23,399 --> 01:35:25,358
I was so angry for months.

1746
01:35:26,918 --> 01:35:30,919
I was torn because after I read it,
I couldn't be angry.

1747
01:35:31,479 --> 01:35:32,519
Why was that?

1748
01:35:32,679 --> 01:35:33,799
Because...

1749
01:35:36,039 --> 01:35:38,359
because it was so tender,

1750
01:35:38,880 --> 01:35:39,960
I think.

1751
01:35:40,680 --> 01:35:42,240
Unless I got it wrong.

1752
01:35:46,280 --> 01:35:47,560
You didn't get it wrong.

1753
01:36:03,041 --> 01:36:04,721
Good evening, ma'am.