1 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:42,209 ♪ What's a man ♪ 2 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:46,838 ♪ Without a woman ♪ 3 00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:51,802 ♪ A fire without a spark ♪ 4 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,721 ♪ Where would man be without a woman ♪ 5 00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,473 - I want breasts. 6 00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:57,891 ♪ Laying cold and in the dark ♪ 7 00:00:57,975 --> 00:00:59,810 How do you want 'em? 8 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:00,894 - Big. 9 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:03,647 And juicy. 10 00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:06,942 Spicy or regular? 11 00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,026 - Bouncy. 12 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,611 Anything else? 13 00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:10,946 - A wing. 14 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:14,283 That's two spicy breasts and a wing. 15 00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:17,995 - Binjo! 16 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,372 Drive through, please. 17 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,708 ♪ Without a woman ♪ 18 00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:27,004 - Hey, Turk. 19 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:29,881 You wanna drink with that? 20 00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:32,342 - Sure, how about a Sex on the Beach 21 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:35,304 followed by 12 orgasms? 22 00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,639 You know we don't have no liquor. 23 00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:40,642 Lick her? 24 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,269 I barely know her! 25 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:59,494 ♪ Looking for some action on a Saturday night ♪ 26 00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:06,668 ♪ I head out to the clubs, ladies looking so right ♪ 27 00:02:08,836 --> 00:02:14,051 ♪ Buying fancy drinks, dropping pick up lines ♪ 28 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:21,183 ♪ Hours getting late, man, you're running out of time ♪ 29 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,187 ♪ First comes strike one ♪ 30 00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:27,064 ♪ Then comes strike two ♪ 31 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,648 ♪ First strike you are out ♪ 32 00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:32,110 ♪ What you gonna do ♪ 33 00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:33,320 - Oh, yeah. 34 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,781 ♪ Look around the room ♪ 35 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:41,078 ♪ And he struts out from the can ♪ 36 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,165 ♪ Get your money out, here comes the wingman ♪ 37 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:48,669 ♪ Wingman, wingman ♪ 38 00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:50,379 ♪ When the ladies leave you standing ♪ 39 00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,589 ♪ With the drinks in your hand ♪ 40 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:56,009 ♪ It's time to close the deal with the wingman ♪ 41 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,135 ♪ Wingman ♪ 42 00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:59,763 - Turk Thompson. ♪ Wingman ♪ 43 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,098 - Wingman. 44 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,933 ♪ He's the wingman ♪ 45 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,976 ♪ Wingman ♪ 46 00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,603 Ah! 47 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,854 ♪ Wingman ♪ 48 00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:13,151 ♪ Wingman ♪ 49 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:18,615 - Nice face. 50 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,204 Yeah. 51 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,545 2100 hours exactly. 52 00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:36,842 Your, uh, wingman is now officially on the clock. 53 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,176 Tonight, I'm gonna get you laid 54 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:41,096 faster than an olive-oil soaked butt plug 55 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:44,307 bouncing down the side of Brokeback Mountain. 56 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:50,522 - So, how exactly does this work anyhow? 57 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,607 - You pick out the hottie you want, 58 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,860 we stride on up there. 59 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,528 And then, I build you up to the point 60 00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:57,654 that you're so irresistible, 61 00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:00,282 even a one-legged nun at a gopher hole festival 62 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,367 couldn't resist power-slamming you. 63 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,458 I'll take out the Klingon friend, 64 00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:11,877 then you're on your own. 65 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,673 - How do I know it works? 66 00:04:16,755 --> 00:04:18,884 - Does an elephant know how to jerk itself off 67 00:04:18,966 --> 00:04:20,260 with its own nose? 68 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,054 - I, I. 69 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,892 - Come on, let's go. 70 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,233 - Hello, ladies. 71 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,195 Can we, uh, 72 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,031 buy you some drinks? 73 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,992 - I don't know. Can you afford a bottle of Cristal? 74 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:45,869 - This is Todd Barker. 75 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:48,705 5'9", 186 pounds, 76 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,790 half Irish, two-thirds Italian, 77 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,751 1% Native American, 78 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,085 Navajo tribe. 79 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:55,337 Thanks for asking. 80 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,797 He works at a successful law firm downtown, 81 00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,341 makes 49K a year, 82 00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:03,011 10-year trajectory, 600K, annually. 83 00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,472 Blood type O, no trace of disease 84 00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,349 or mental illness in his gene pool, 85 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:10,268 although he does have a brother who once got arrested 86 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:13,188 for shooting through an Arby's drive-through window. 87 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,774 He's only been with three women. 88 00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,692 Almost had a homosexual encounter 89 00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:20,779 in a public restroom in Germany after he left college. 90 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,322 He's allergic to cats. 91 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:23,532 He doesn't snore. 92 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:25,951 He prefers steak over seafood. 93 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,161 And he's been circumcised. 94 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:30,872 Twice. 95 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:31,998 Twice. 96 00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,084 - Any, uh, questions? 97 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,461 - Excuse us for a second. 98 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,296 - Are you fucking kidding me? 99 00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,173 How did you know all this stuff? 100 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,467 - I'm good at my job. 101 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:44,928 - Okay, looks like we'll take that drink after all. 102 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,847 - I thought so. 103 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:50,976 Hi. 104 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:55,438 What is that unbelievable smell? 105 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,274 Are you wearing cologne? 106 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,984 - It's just a little something I picked up 107 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,569 when I was in Paris. 108 00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:03,905 Kindness, forgiveness, cherish, 109 00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:07,075 KFC, number seven. 110 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,661 - You're fucking hot. 111 00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:10,495 - I know. 112 00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,830 - Hey there, gorgeous. 113 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,499 Do you work in a museum, 114 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:15,917 because you're a work of art? 115 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:20,922 - Ah, my face! 116 00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:23,550 Ah! Ah! 117 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,385 - Upstairs, there's literally, like, 118 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:26,720 a flight piercing sound in the- 119 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,888 - Ugh! Ugh! - Whoa! 120 00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,015 Whoa! - Oh my god. 121 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:30,849 - What is that? - Skip! 122 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,684 I like the new look! 123 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,395 Girls are into narwhals these days, right? 124 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:36,896 - You better not show up to our wedding like that. 125 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:38,231 You might steal my thunder. 126 00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:39,774 Yeah, and pop all the balloons. 127 00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:40,984 - Dude, come here, come here. - Just take it out, 128 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,152 please, please. 129 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,194 Oh! 130 00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:44,195 Oh! 131 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,822 - Am I pussing, am I pussing? 132 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,824 - No, it doesn't look good. - All right. 133 00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,076 Okay, guys, guys, all right, a toast. 134 00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:53,330 To Bob and Terri and your last few days of being single. 135 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,081 - Aw. - Okay, fine. 136 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,458 Here's to Bob and Terri, 137 00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,418 the most obnoxiously cute couple I've ever met. 138 00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,669 - Mhmm. - Thank you. 139 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,547 - And here's to the world's best boss 140 00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,716 becoming the world's best husband. 141 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:07,594 - Aw. - Okay, fine, my turn. 142 00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:10,722 Here's to the most amazing girlfriend in the world, 143 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:14,434 and come next week, the most amazing wife. 144 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,937 Oh, most importantly, here's to closing the Alfab account! 145 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:18,855 Finally! 146 00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,441 Yeah! 147 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,944 Yeah! 148 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:29,699 - Hi. 149 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:30,533 Hello. 150 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:31,493 Hi. 151 00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:32,994 - My name is Kazzim. 152 00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:36,164 - Nice to meet you, Kazzim. 153 00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:38,583 - Very beautiful woman. 154 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,085 Your skin is very beautiful. 155 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,754 It's like the chocolate 156 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:45,757 cascading down a Dairy Queen sundae. 157 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,927 No nuts, I hope, you know? 158 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,428 Day and age. 159 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:51,972 These kids, nuts, no nuts. 160 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,139 I have nuts, they have nuts. 161 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,100 We all have nuts, everybody's nuts. 162 00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:57,644 - I don't think- 163 00:07:57,727 --> 00:08:00,313 - Can I get you boys some shots? 164 00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:01,731 - And staring in your eyes 165 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:05,443 is like staring at the beautiful stars in the sky. 166 00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:06,528 - Wow. 167 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,739 Okay. 168 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,493 - Mm, these are good. 169 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:14,619 Thank you, man. - Hey. 170 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,579 - You know, one for my dead dog. 171 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,081 - Yeah. 172 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,629 And we will make babies. 173 00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:28,216 We will have little Raju, Sangita. 174 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,510 Rajinder. 175 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:32,595 Sandeep. 176 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,972 And don't forget Chandala. 177 00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,517 He's our crippled one. - Oh. 178 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,561 - You can't have all good ones. 179 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,730 - Wow, that's... - I plan on breeding. 180 00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:45,025 I want to win the breeders cup. 181 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,151 - That's, uh. 182 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,570 - I like your little flower there. 183 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:49,529 - Mhmm. 184 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:50,613 - Mm! 185 00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:53,450 - I like your halitosis, shit breath. 186 00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:57,537 - Listen, I'm, I'm with someone, so. 187 00:08:58,747 --> 00:08:59,831 - That, that guy? 188 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,834 Right? 189 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,837 Ah! - That guy? 190 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,339 - Yeah, yeah, that guy. 191 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,674 - Are you sure? 192 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,509 Is that what you want for the rest of your life? 193 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,639 I would love to have the opportunity to win your heart. 194 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,976 Cheers. 195 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,060 Cohagala. 196 00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,188 You know cohagala? 197 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,356 - It's Coca-Cola. - Ah ha, I had it wrong. 198 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,399 - Yeah. 199 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:32,864 - Mission accomplished. 200 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,575 Jumbo's in the parking lot eating chicken. 201 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:40,914 - Terri! 202 00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,249 Terri! - Still working 203 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,501 with the bottom feeders, huh? 204 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:49,255 It's okay, Turk. 205 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,050 You're gonna hit the big league someday. 206 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,887 - Suck a Shell station glory hole, Eddie. 207 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,430 - What did your client bag ya, tonight? 208 00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:58,681 Five, 600? 209 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,814 60K for that basket case. 210 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:07,982 Terri? 211 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,734 - His lady never stood a chance. 212 00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,152 Hooked her up with one of my high rollers 213 00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,612 in about 20 minutes. 214 00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,574 Yeah. 215 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,368 And I'm the only wingman in town 216 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,286 that comes with a guarantee. 217 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,371 Why? 218 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,581 Because I'm that good. 219 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:26,709 I got a little something for you though. 220 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:31,756 - Terri! 221 00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,176 Terri, where you are? 222 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,303 I miss you. 223 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,391 - We'll see about your guarantee. 224 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,102 Asshole. 225 00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:55,947 Terri? Is that you? 226 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,240 - Terri's gone, kid. 227 00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,868 You want her back, 228 00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:01,953 you call me. 229 00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:04,664 You wanna forget about her and get some new tail, 230 00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:06,791 call me, too. 231 00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:15,967 - Got it, Ms. Cromwell, 232 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,011 the Global Speedway presentation is coming along fine. 233 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,971 The presentation has to be flawless. 234 00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:21,431 - Fast and full of energy. 235 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:25,435 - This client is building first-class race car tracks 236 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,228 across the globe. 237 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:30,148 We have to win this bid. 238 00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:31,608 - Dimples. 239 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:32,859 What was that? 240 00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:34,444 Uh, simple. 241 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,779 It'll be simple, piece of cake. 242 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,323 - It better be. 243 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,992 Our future is in your hands, Bob. 244 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,160 Ye- 245 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,580 Oh. 246 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:46,831 - Yo, Bobby! - Hey. 247 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,124 - Bobby, boy! - Hey! 248 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,668 - Time for happy hour at O'Grady's. 249 00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:51,628 - Hey, guys. 250 00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:53,922 Look at those dimples, huh? 251 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,343 - Bob, it's been five months, dude. 252 00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,928 - Terri ain't coming back. 253 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,096 And if you ask me, 254 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,514 better off now than if you guys got married. 255 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:05,266 You'll see. 256 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,351 She'll be back. 257 00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,186 We had something. 258 00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:09,437 - No, no, no. 259 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,022 Mr. Smooth Moves has something, all right. 260 00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:15,276 Race cars, a Fortune 500 company, style. 261 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,070 She's gone, Bob, move on. 262 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:20,573 - Yeah, it's time for someone who's not so runaway bride. 263 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,533 - She's the only girl I've ever had. 264 00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:24,661 The only girl I've ever had sex with! 265 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,789 - Jesus, we gotta get you laid. 266 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,290 - All right, let's go, come on, buddy. 267 00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:32,001 - I got so much I gotta do. - Ah, it's time for shots! 268 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,461 Let's go. Tequila. - Come on. 269 00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:34,545 - That can wait till tomorrow. - Tequila? 270 00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:35,713 - Yeah. - Okay. 271 00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,006 - There we go. - Yeah, I can use a drink. 272 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,717 ♪ My story's like a sad, sad song ♪ 273 00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,094 ♪ Well, she was here ♪ - Tequila! 274 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:42,720 ♪ But now she's gone ♪ 275 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:45,265 ♪ Gonna keep drinking till I forget ♪ 276 00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:48,393 ♪ So bartender, set 'em up again ♪ 277 00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:50,812 ♪ As long as her memory hangs around ♪ 278 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,730 ♪ Just set 'em up and I'll break 'em down ♪ 279 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:55,358 - Oh, remind me to stick to girly drinks from now on. 280 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,151 Okay? - Come on, Holly. 281 00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:57,902 You can handle it. 282 00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,237 Besides, you know the rule. 283 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,614 Remember, hmm, if you wanna be my assistant, 284 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:02,740 you have to? 285 00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,158 Keep up with the boys. 286 00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:06,035 - Oh, okay, well, thanks. 287 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,912 But I prefer men. - Ah. 288 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:11,082 - So you boys just carry on. 289 00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,209 - All right, well, let's get down to business. 290 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,920 It's time to get Bob hooked up again. 291 00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:17,046 - Come on, you guys. 292 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:20,091 You, you gotta just let it happen. 293 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:23,886 You can't manufacture love. 294 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:25,930 - It's true. 295 00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,223 Phil Collins said you can't hurry it either. 296 00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:28,933 Yeah. 297 00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:31,060 - Redhead incoming at four o'clock. 298 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,021 - She's beautiful, but I'm good right now, man. 299 00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:35,690 - Come on. - Go introduce yourself, bro. 300 00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:37,358 - Oh, no, ah, right now? 301 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:40,778 - Ah, come on, we're going. 302 00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:42,488 We're going, we're going, we're going. 303 00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:43,781 - All right, all right. - That a boy. 304 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:48,411 - Have fun. - I believe in you. 305 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:51,622 - I believe in you. - Thank you. 306 00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:52,582 Howdy! 307 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,959 That was stupid, ah. 308 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,127 You know, I just wanted to, 309 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,837 you know, I saw you from my friends 310 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,797 and I just wanted to say hello. 311 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:02,884 - Look, I'm just, I'm really not in the mood, okay? 312 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,135 - Okay, sure. 313 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,846 She's not in the mood. - Be charming. Be funny. 314 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,556 - Be funny? - Yes. 315 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,808 - Come on, it's called happy hour, 316 00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:12,602 not depressed hour. 317 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,146 - Look, this is just a really bad time, okay? 318 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:19,859 Come on, it's not like somebody died! 319 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:20,943 Did they? 320 00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,202 It's all right, man. 321 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:31,496 ♪ Just jack 'em up and I'll break 'em down ♪ 322 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,664 - Yeah. - Nice. 323 00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:35,166 Wow. 324 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:38,628 That went well, I see. - So you think she's the one? 325 00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:40,838 - There's a possibility, I think. 326 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:48,429 ♪ Well, I wonder what to do ♪ 327 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,057 ♪ As I sit and stare at you ♪ 328 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,642 - Well, it looks like, 329 00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:58,397 looks like it came out pretty clean. 330 00:14:58,815 --> 00:14:59,816 Sorta. 331 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:03,528 - Hey, thanks for dropping me off, Holly. 332 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,196 Sorry I've been out of my mind. 333 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,365 It's just, you know. 334 00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:09,492 - Yeah, I know. 335 00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:14,455 Oh, um, this bizarre pen in your shirt pocket, 336 00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:15,540 I almost washed it. 337 00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,416 It's, um. 338 00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:17,708 - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. 339 00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,877 No, I've been holding on to that for months. 340 00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:21,212 - "Get laid. " 341 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,421 - The guy that gave it to me 342 00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:23,965 said he could help me get Terri back. 343 00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:26,676 He was there at the bar the night she dumped me. 344 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,553 But I don't, it's so stupid. 345 00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:33,808 - Oh, wait, but you're not actually considering this, 346 00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,685 are you? - No! 347 00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:37,687 No. 348 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,605 - Okay, 'cause like a wingman? 349 00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:42,191 What? Are you still in high school? 350 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,067 - I'll get rid of it. - Okay. 351 00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,735 - Just, yeah. - Okay. 352 00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:48,573 And not to be your mother, but come on, Bob. 353 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,159 Your place is a disaster area. 354 00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:52,243 Like, look at this. 355 00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:55,121 I found rat turds in the kitchen. 356 00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,455 That's disgusting. 357 00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,416 - Terri's the one, Holly. 358 00:15:58,499 --> 00:15:59,584 I'm telling you, she's just going through 359 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:00,543 some stuff right now. 360 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:01,627 She's gonna, 361 00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,881 she'll be back. 362 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:09,510 My place is falling apart. 363 00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:10,428 It's okay. 364 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,014 - You know, Bob, 365 00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:16,642 sooner or later you're gonna have to move on. 366 00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,437 There are other good people out there in the world. 367 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,064 You just gotta go looking. - No. 368 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,441 No. No. 369 00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,067 See, I think you saw tonight, 370 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,861 I don't know how to move on. 371 00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:29,530 I'll get Terri back, you'll see. 372 00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:30,781 Mark my words. 373 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:34,327 - Why would you even want her? 374 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,539 - What did you say? 375 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,792 - Uh, goodnight, Bob. 376 00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:43,669 - Oh, yeah. Goodnight. 377 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,964 - Yeah. - Oh, and Holly. 378 00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:48,049 - Yep? 379 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:52,428 - Say "Hi" to Tim for me. ♪ Crying eyes just for you ♪ 380 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:53,638 - Yeah. 381 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:54,722 Sure, Bob. 382 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,642 I'll tell him, "Hello. " 383 00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:07,443 ♪ Still got crying eyes for you ♪ 384 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,654 ♪ 'Cause I've got crying eyes for you ♪ 385 00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:10,738 - Wingman. 386 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,866 What have I got to lose? 387 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:21,499 ♪ Still got crying eyes for you ♪ 388 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:34,011 ♪ Sh-doop, sh-doo ♪ 389 00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:36,013 ♪ Oh ♪ 390 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:41,018 Ow! 391 00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,563 - Hey, Numbfuck! - What the? 392 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:45,982 - Over here. 393 00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:48,651 - Ah. 394 00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,195 Was that really necessary? 395 00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:53,030 - How you doing, partner? 396 00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,699 Turk Thompson. 397 00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:55,825 Wingman. - Hey. 398 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,661 Bob Erdman, junior executive at the- 399 00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,788 - Yeah, yeah, I know who you are. 400 00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,165 - You do? - Drink up. 401 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,584 Got ya a Coke. 402 00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,753 Oh, that's awfully kind of you, thank you. 403 00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:10,715 - Now, how many, uh, 404 00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:12,049 women you've been with? 405 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,635 One. 406 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,227 - Are you cereal? 407 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,563 - Yeah, but I mean, she was the love of my life. 408 00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:26,564 And a few months ago- 409 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,149 - Oh, yeah. I saw. 410 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:30,276 And as much as I despise Eddie, 411 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,570 he ran the old shot and shitter perfectly. 412 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,740 Ha, works every time. 413 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,408 - Shot and shitter? I don't understand. 414 00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:40,286 - Yeah, he was buying you shots all night, right? 415 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,455 You were just pounding them down. 416 00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,915 And when you're in the shitter puking your guts out, 417 00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:48,002 his client is walking away with your girl. 418 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,420 - Oh my god! 419 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:50,713 That's exactly what happened. 420 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,215 That's, how did I not? 421 00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,426 Am I that stupid? 422 00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:57,595 - Love makes you stupid, kid. 423 00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,889 You, uh, sure you want her back again? 424 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,058 ♪ Dreams come true ♪ 425 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,019 ♪ Sh-doop, sh-doo ♪ 426 00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:06,604 - Thanks, baby lumps. 427 00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:09,440 Leave it to me. 428 00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:10,983 We'll get your fiance back. 429 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,235 - Okay, you know what? 430 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,153 I'm in. 431 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,280 I'll drink to that. 432 00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:17,740 - First things first. 433 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:18,783 How big's your cock? 434 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,119 The size of a man's hot dog 435 00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:25,956 tells me just about everything I need to know about him. 436 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,041 - Hot dog? 437 00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:31,629 - Look, I don't do business with guys with small cocks. 438 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,172 They're too angry. 439 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,091 Now, guys that are too big, on the other hand, 440 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,593 think they know more than me and they don't listen. 441 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,845 And that's when things go wrong! 442 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:48,312 I mean, it makes sense. 443 00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:50,773 - Here's what I need you to do, Broccoli Teeth. 444 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:54,068 I need you to take these onion rings down into the john. 445 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,404 Stack them on the bald cyclops, 446 00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:58,322 and let me know the count. 447 00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:01,075 - The count? Are you fucking nuts, man? 448 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:03,494 - Okay, been nice meeting you, kid. 449 00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:05,579 Good luck with everything. 450 00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,289 - Oh, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 451 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:08,499 Just sit down. 452 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:11,585 Just... 453 00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,504 Look, what do you need me to do? 454 00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:15,673 - Stack 'em on Mushroom Mountain. 455 00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:18,217 14 is too many, 456 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,720 and under three is a deal breaker. 457 00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:25,015 - I can't just stack onion rings on my, 458 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,018 my cock, man. 459 00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:30,020 Besides, I'm not even. 460 00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:31,105 - What? 461 00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:33,524 - Hard. 462 00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:37,027 - You, uh, sure about that, Charlie Candy Cane? 463 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,279 - Am I sure? 464 00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:39,822 I think I would know if I have a boner! 465 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,032 Oh! 466 00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:44,201 - Viagra. 467 00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:46,036 I put three of them in your Coke. 468 00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,330 I like to get the, uh, technical stuff 469 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,541 out of the way right at the top. 470 00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:52,042 - You're nuts! You're a madman! 471 00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,044 This is a huge mistake! 472 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,088 - Calm down, Space Ranger. 473 00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:58,841 We are gonna get your fiance back. 474 00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:01,135 Now, stack 'em! 475 00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:30,331 - What the hell am I doing? 476 00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:35,336 Okay. 477 00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:36,712 Come on, Bob. 478 00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:38,631 Oh! 479 00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:46,305 Pervert! 480 00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:47,431 - Asshole. 481 00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:49,767 Should've let 'em cool off first. 482 00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:55,272 Oh! 483 00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,567 God! 484 00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:01,070 ♪ I got a greasy ring of fire ♪ 485 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:03,447 ♪ And it's flaming in my pants ♪ 486 00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:05,157 ♪ It stings and it burns ♪ 487 00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:07,576 ♪ Like a nest of army ants ♪ 488 00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,954 - Eight. - Ha, not bad. 489 00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:14,041 Looks like we, uh, we got ourselves a deal. 490 00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:15,251 - Do you think we can maybe stop 491 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,837 and, like, get some ice or something? 492 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,923 - Only thing that's gonna work for that is Slurpee anal. 493 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,926 - Slurpee anal? 494 00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:24,760 - Yeah. 495 00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:27,429 Large Slurpee, lid, 496 00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:29,056 flip it upside down. 497 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:34,812 Cut in an asshole, put it back on your lap. 498 00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:38,816 And stuff it like a taxidermist stuffing a dead bobcat. 499 00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:43,070 Yeah, like that's gonna happen. 500 00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:47,575 ♪ Don't go fall in love ♪ 501 00:22:47,658 --> 00:22:49,493 ♪ If you can't take the heat ♪ 502 00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:51,871 ♪ I got a greasy ring of fire ♪ 503 00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:54,164 ♪ And it's burning so damn hot ♪ 504 00:22:54,248 --> 00:22:56,208 ♪ I thank the Lord above ♪ 505 00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:58,002 ♪ That I don't gotta squat ♪ 506 00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:01,255 - What is that? 507 00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:03,507 Is that Raspberry Sunblast? 508 00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:05,342 - Uh, no, this is Goofy Grape. 509 00:23:05,426 --> 00:23:07,303 - Oh, that's gonna stain. 510 00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:08,304 - What? - Yeah. 511 00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:10,180 You're gonna have Smurf cock. 512 00:23:10,264 --> 00:23:12,349 - Smurf cock? Jesus Christ! 513 00:23:12,433 --> 00:23:15,436 Look, maybe this whole thing was just a bad idea. 514 00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:17,771 - Listen, Forehead Face. 515 00:23:17,855 --> 00:23:21,901 I take my job very seriously and I ain't lost a client yet. 516 00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:24,737 We are gonna get you laid, 517 00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:27,114 and then we're gonna get your fiance back. 518 00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:29,867 - What if she doesn't want me back? What if- 519 00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:36,123 - She will want you back! 520 00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:40,461 One grand up front and the rest when we finish. 521 00:23:42,713 --> 00:23:43,964 - Deal. Deal. 522 00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:52,306 I gotta say, Turk. 523 00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:54,558 This car's a bit of a throwback. 524 00:23:54,642 --> 00:23:56,935 You don't see these around much anymore. 525 00:23:57,019 --> 00:23:59,188 - That's 'cause most people can't handle 'em. 526 00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,482 Only someone who understands speed 527 00:24:01,565 --> 00:24:03,692 can drive the orgasm-mobile. 528 00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:06,528 - Orgasm-mobile? 529 00:24:06,612 --> 00:24:11,575 Yep, and that's her G-spot right there. 530 00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:14,536 You touch her just right. 531 00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:16,664 Whisper sweet nothings in her ear. 532 00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:21,835 And there ain't a car alive that can catch her! 533 00:24:21,919 --> 00:24:23,337 Oh, what's that, baby, hm? 534 00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:25,381 Oh, mm, oh yeah. 535 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:26,715 Mm, Daddy hears ya. 536 00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:28,133 Mmm. 537 00:24:28,217 --> 00:24:31,011 Like a bit of that Cajun blackened catfish, 538 00:24:31,095 --> 00:24:32,262 Honey Child? 539 00:24:32,346 --> 00:24:35,432 Oh, Daddy gon touch you tonight, Baby Love. 540 00:24:35,516 --> 00:24:37,768 Mm, oh, yeah. 541 00:24:37,851 --> 00:24:39,812 Oh, baby. 542 00:24:42,064 --> 00:24:43,691 - Turk, Turk, but... - Shut up! 543 00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:46,902 Ee, I'm in the middle of cunnilingus! 544 00:24:46,986 --> 00:24:50,447 That's right, oh, oh, like a piece of bubble gum 545 00:24:50,531 --> 00:24:52,116 under a school boy's desk. 546 00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,200 Mmm. 547 00:24:53,951 --> 00:24:55,202 Mm, Baby Love. 548 00:24:55,285 --> 00:24:58,789 Mm, Daddy got the Cajun catfish finger, Baby Love. 549 00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:01,792 - That's, look, Turk. - Yeah, shut up. 550 00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:05,337 Mm. 551 00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:06,630 Oh. 552 00:25:08,382 --> 00:25:09,842 Little Puffy Puff. 553 00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:12,302 - Turk, Turk, listen. - Puffy, Puffy, Puffy Puff. 554 00:25:13,220 --> 00:25:14,471 - Turk, Turk, listen! 555 00:25:14,555 --> 00:25:16,140 I'm already late for a meeting! 556 00:25:16,223 --> 00:25:17,891 - Late? - Yeah. 557 00:25:17,975 --> 00:25:19,601 - Are you fucking cereal? 558 00:25:19,685 --> 00:25:21,478 A wingman's never late! 559 00:25:21,562 --> 00:25:24,314 Hold on, Onion Rings! 560 00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:25,524 Whoa! 561 00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:26,775 - Ah! 562 00:25:29,403 --> 00:25:30,446 Oh! 563 00:25:35,409 --> 00:25:42,708 ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 564 00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:45,961 ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 565 00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:48,839 ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ - Ah! 566 00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:56,180 Oh! 567 00:25:59,725 --> 00:26:04,021 How in the hell did you do that? 568 00:26:04,104 --> 00:26:06,440 - I make my own special fuel, kid. 569 00:26:06,523 --> 00:26:09,693 Yeah, even installed an extra tank. 570 00:26:09,777 --> 00:26:12,863 This shit's stronger than nitrous oxide, 571 00:26:12,946 --> 00:26:15,699 but it only lasts about as long as a human orgasm 572 00:26:15,783 --> 00:26:19,661 so you can only use it in real emergencies. 573 00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:21,747 - You make your own gasoline? 574 00:26:21,830 --> 00:26:24,458 So what, now you're an expert in women and cars? 575 00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:27,711 - Well, they're pretty much the same thing. 576 00:26:27,795 --> 00:26:29,379 Keep 'em lubed, you, 577 00:26:29,463 --> 00:26:30,547 you ride 'em fast, 578 00:26:30,631 --> 00:26:32,007 and you trade 'em in 579 00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:35,135 before there's too many cracks in the upholstery. 580 00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:39,807 You, uh, you better get to work, kid. 581 00:26:39,890 --> 00:26:43,352 Yeah. 582 00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:57,533 It was crazy, man, you wouldn't believe it. 583 00:26:57,616 --> 00:26:58,909 - You gotta hire him, bro. 584 00:26:58,992 --> 00:27:00,661 You got nothing to lose. 585 00:27:00,744 --> 00:27:03,413 - This guy's more of a wing nut than a wingman. 586 00:27:03,497 --> 00:27:05,332 - Look, if you want Terri back and he can help, 587 00:27:05,415 --> 00:27:07,584 then who cares, right? 588 00:27:07,668 --> 00:27:09,461 - I guess. - I'll research him. 589 00:27:09,545 --> 00:27:10,671 I'll Google his ass big time 590 00:27:10,754 --> 00:27:12,464 until I know everything about him. 591 00:27:12,548 --> 00:27:13,423 - You're the man, Skip. 592 00:27:20,097 --> 00:27:21,431 - This is Bob. 593 00:27:21,515 --> 00:27:25,602 - Tonight, eight o'clock at the Grand. 594 00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:28,397 Nice shirt and tie, Choir Boy. 595 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,399 What'd you do, rob a trailer park? 596 00:27:38,365 --> 00:27:40,450 I still see you. 597 00:27:40,534 --> 00:27:42,327 Coffee stains. 598 00:27:42,411 --> 00:27:46,290 Fly's open. 599 00:27:48,083 --> 00:27:51,420 Sweet freckled lasagna. 600 00:27:53,922 --> 00:27:55,299 - Hmm? 601 00:27:55,382 --> 00:27:57,551 I like a pop of red, but I don't know with this outfit. 602 00:27:57,634 --> 00:28:00,304 Maybe it's this one? 603 00:28:00,387 --> 00:28:02,472 - Uh, yeah, I don't know, I trust you. 604 00:28:02,556 --> 00:28:05,225 I always let Terri pick up my clothes for me, so. 605 00:28:06,310 --> 00:28:08,228 - And why is that? 606 00:28:09,563 --> 00:28:11,315 - Well, you're my assistant. 607 00:28:11,398 --> 00:28:12,691 You know how busy I am. 608 00:28:12,774 --> 00:28:14,985 I feel like shopping's just this big time waster. 609 00:28:17,321 --> 00:28:20,741 - Sometimes the time wasters are the most important things 610 00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:22,284 in a relationship, Bob. 611 00:28:23,243 --> 00:28:24,661 - Oh, so you're telling me 612 00:28:24,745 --> 00:28:26,872 if I had helped her pick out the candles for our wedding, 613 00:28:26,955 --> 00:28:29,124 then maybe she would've stayed, hmm. 614 00:28:30,792 --> 00:28:32,127 - You'd be surprised. 615 00:28:35,464 --> 00:28:37,049 It's the little things, Bob. 616 00:28:38,425 --> 00:28:39,801 The special things. 617 00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:46,725 ♪ It's such a mystery ♪ 618 00:28:46,808 --> 00:28:48,852 - Yeah, we had special things. 619 00:28:48,936 --> 00:28:50,771 We like had, 620 00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:55,609 in the mornings, 621 00:28:55,692 --> 00:28:57,569 I used to, uh, call her my morning bird 622 00:28:57,653 --> 00:29:00,072 and I would whistle sweet nothings into her ear, 623 00:29:00,155 --> 00:29:01,573 a little something like... 624 00:29:13,251 --> 00:29:15,420 - Caw! Caw! 625 00:29:16,088 --> 00:29:18,924 - I used to do crow calls as a little girl, so. 626 00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:20,550 - I love that. - Mhmm. 627 00:29:21,218 --> 00:29:22,594 - I didn't know that. 628 00:29:26,264 --> 00:29:27,849 Holy shit, it's Terri. 629 00:29:33,355 --> 00:29:34,272 - Passion! 630 00:29:34,356 --> 00:29:35,357 - Ooh. 631 00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:37,276 Obsession! 632 00:29:37,359 --> 00:29:39,278 - Mm, a squirter. 633 00:29:39,361 --> 00:29:40,112 - Mm. 634 00:29:40,195 --> 00:29:41,363 - That's him. 635 00:29:41,446 --> 00:29:42,739 That's the guy that stole Terri from me. 636 00:29:42,823 --> 00:29:44,658 - Poison. - Seduction. 637 00:29:44,741 --> 00:29:46,076 - Ooh! 638 00:29:46,159 --> 00:29:47,369 J- Lo. - Oh. 639 00:29:47,452 --> 00:29:48,537 O.J. 640 00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:49,997 - Mmm. 641 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,331 - Killer, it smells killer. 642 00:29:51,415 --> 00:29:52,666 - Oh, look what they're wearing. 643 00:29:52,749 --> 00:29:53,500 They're matching. 644 00:29:55,627 --> 00:29:56,837 - Yeah, it's almost like 645 00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:58,880 they might have gone shopping together 646 00:29:58,964 --> 00:30:01,008 or, as you would say, a time-waster. 647 00:30:01,091 --> 00:30:02,592 - Mm. 648 00:30:02,676 --> 00:30:03,677 Ooh! 649 00:30:04,761 --> 00:30:06,430 Come to Me. - Ooh. 650 00:30:06,513 --> 00:30:08,473 - Does that smell like come to you? 651 00:30:08,557 --> 00:30:10,767 - Ooh, yes. 652 00:30:12,352 --> 00:30:13,729 - Give me all your Come. 653 00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:15,772 I need you to come to me so I can get the Come to Me, 654 00:30:15,856 --> 00:30:18,025 and we can go once we get all the Come. 655 00:30:18,108 --> 00:30:19,151 I'll be right back, darling. 656 00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:20,694 - Okay! - Can you gift wrap the Come? 657 00:30:20,777 --> 00:30:22,612 - Oh, he's leaving, he's leaving. 658 00:30:22,696 --> 00:30:23,780 - Shouldn't... - I gotta go. 659 00:30:23,864 --> 00:30:25,949 Shh, Holly! - Shouldn't, oh my god. 660 00:30:30,203 --> 00:30:32,122 - So you left me for this clown? 661 00:30:32,205 --> 00:30:33,457 - Bob, what are you doing here? 662 00:30:33,540 --> 00:30:34,833 - I can't believe you, Terri. 663 00:30:34,916 --> 00:30:36,251 You're gonna walk away from a good thing 664 00:30:36,335 --> 00:30:37,586 for a guy that likes perfume? 665 00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:39,004 What are you doing? 666 00:30:39,087 --> 00:30:40,338 - This isn't the time. 667 00:30:43,383 --> 00:30:44,843 - Oh, now's not the time? 668 00:30:44,926 --> 00:30:46,762 But walking out on our wedding a week before it happens, 669 00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:47,763 that's the time? 670 00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:49,056 Is that how you like to do it? 671 00:30:49,139 --> 00:30:50,057 - You know, I didn't just walk out, Bob. 672 00:30:50,140 --> 00:30:51,808 It was a long-time coming. 673 00:30:56,980 --> 00:30:57,898 - What do you mean a long time coming? 674 00:30:57,981 --> 00:30:58,982 We were happy! 675 00:30:59,066 --> 00:31:00,317 - Really? - Yeah! 676 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:01,443 You weren't? 677 00:31:01,526 --> 00:31:02,694 You weren't... - No. 678 00:31:02,778 --> 00:31:04,112 - Well, I had no idea you were unhappy! 679 00:31:04,196 --> 00:31:05,197 - Exactly. 680 00:31:05,989 --> 00:31:06,990 - But you're my morning bird. 681 00:31:07,074 --> 00:31:07,991 Remember? 682 00:31:13,747 --> 00:31:15,165 - I have to go. 683 00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:18,460 - Well, okay, then I have to go, too. 684 00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:21,338 You know, you're not the only one with hookups, okay? 685 00:31:21,421 --> 00:31:22,672 I got a lot of girls. 686 00:31:22,756 --> 00:31:24,925 So many girls, I had to ice my dick the other day. 687 00:31:25,008 --> 00:31:28,136 And your man's not the only one that can grab a perfume. 688 00:31:28,220 --> 00:31:30,639 Ooh, Come to Me by Ron Jeremy. 689 00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:31,848 It's so hard. 690 00:31:31,932 --> 00:31:32,682 Look, oh. 691 00:31:34,101 --> 00:31:35,185 Ah, I got Come in my eyes! - I've heard enough. 692 00:31:35,268 --> 00:31:37,813 - There's Come! Ugh! - Bob. 693 00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,564 - Terri, listen, okay? 694 00:31:39,648 --> 00:31:41,108 It's the little things, you know. 695 00:31:41,191 --> 00:31:42,275 - It's the... - Hey. 696 00:31:42,359 --> 00:31:43,360 - Oh. - Yeah, not Terri. 697 00:31:43,443 --> 00:31:45,612 - Mhmm. - Let's put this back. 698 00:31:47,572 --> 00:31:48,657 Love stinks, Bob. 699 00:31:49,783 --> 00:31:50,575 Sorry! 700 00:31:55,122 --> 00:31:56,790 - Have you been crying? 701 00:31:58,959 --> 00:32:00,460 You smell like my aunt. 702 00:32:01,503 --> 00:32:03,672 Is that Come to Me? 703 00:32:04,589 --> 00:32:06,883 - No, it's allergies. 704 00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:10,137 - Oh, well, I hope you ain't allergic to hotties. 705 00:32:10,929 --> 00:32:12,431 Take a look at the boofay tonight. 706 00:32:12,514 --> 00:32:15,392 Go ahead, pick one out. 707 00:32:15,475 --> 00:32:16,226 - Pick one out? 708 00:32:16,309 --> 00:32:17,978 It's not that easy. 709 00:32:18,061 --> 00:32:19,229 - Come on. 710 00:32:19,312 --> 00:32:22,107 - What makes you such an expert on women anyways? 711 00:32:22,190 --> 00:32:23,316 - POP. 712 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:26,570 Power of the Pussy. 713 00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:30,365 Did you get that in like a gumball machine? 714 00:32:30,449 --> 00:32:33,076 - Well, scoff if you will, one-timer, 715 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:37,080 but pussy rules the universe. 716 00:32:37,164 --> 00:32:39,624 - More like money rules the universe. 717 00:32:39,708 --> 00:32:41,251 - Oh, come on, man. 718 00:32:41,334 --> 00:32:43,670 Everything men do is because of the pussy. 719 00:32:44,671 --> 00:32:46,923 You think they want fame, power, money, 720 00:32:47,007 --> 00:32:48,091 just for the sake of it? 721 00:32:48,175 --> 00:32:49,384 Shit, no! 722 00:32:49,468 --> 00:32:52,888 They know that all that crap leads to pussy. 723 00:32:54,681 --> 00:32:56,224 - You know, we evolved from cavemen 724 00:32:56,308 --> 00:32:59,478 like thousands and thousands of years ago, right? 725 00:32:59,561 --> 00:33:02,522 - Well, can't ignore your primality. 726 00:33:02,606 --> 00:33:04,191 - It's not a word. 727 00:33:04,274 --> 00:33:05,650 - See anything you like? 728 00:33:07,944 --> 00:33:09,404 - She's beautiful. 729 00:33:12,407 --> 00:33:15,160 - Look, have you seen that Julia Roberts movie? 730 00:33:15,243 --> 00:33:18,121 "Eat, Pray, Love. " 731 00:33:18,205 --> 00:33:19,289 - Yeah. - Yeah. 732 00:33:19,372 --> 00:33:21,208 Well, now you're looking at the sequel, 733 00:33:21,291 --> 00:33:23,585 "Eat, Eat, Eat. " 734 00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:26,796 Come on, man, I have a reputation to uphold! 735 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:28,965 - Come on, she seems... 736 00:33:34,554 --> 00:33:37,807 - Oh. - Mother of all Manatees. 737 00:33:39,601 --> 00:33:41,645 Mmm. 738 00:33:41,728 --> 00:33:44,481 Yep, uh, blonde at the booth. 739 00:33:44,564 --> 00:33:45,649 She's beautiful. 740 00:33:45,732 --> 00:33:46,816 - Oh. 741 00:33:46,900 --> 00:33:48,276 Binjo! 742 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:51,112 Like, I wasn't that drunk. 743 00:33:54,449 --> 00:33:55,575 - Hello, ladies. 744 00:33:57,077 --> 00:33:59,704 Didn't expect to see anyone sitting in our koala booth, 745 00:33:59,788 --> 00:34:02,249 but hey, it happens. 746 00:34:03,124 --> 00:34:04,251 - Koala booth? 747 00:34:04,334 --> 00:34:06,461 - Yeah, you know, donated by the zoo. 748 00:34:06,544 --> 00:34:09,297 Kind of like a, like a hospital wing, ha. 749 00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:12,759 Everybody knows about the, uh, the koala booth. 750 00:34:12,842 --> 00:34:17,264 - Wait, you're from the zoo and work with koalas? 751 00:34:19,349 --> 00:34:20,766 Oh my god. 752 00:34:20,850 --> 00:34:22,060 Here, sit down. 753 00:34:22,143 --> 00:34:24,062 We didn't mean to take your booth. 754 00:34:25,021 --> 00:34:28,775 Well, don't mind if we poo. 755 00:34:32,862 --> 00:34:34,864 - Oh my god, so koalas. 756 00:34:34,947 --> 00:34:36,074 What are they like? 757 00:34:36,157 --> 00:34:39,119 - Oh, they're the cutest little fuckers ever. 758 00:34:39,202 --> 00:34:42,330 Like, little hairy Italian babies. 759 00:34:43,248 --> 00:34:44,873 - You get to hold them? 760 00:34:44,958 --> 00:34:46,626 - Oh, of course. 761 00:34:48,003 --> 00:34:49,545 Say hello to Butterbuns. 762 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:54,301 One of the only albino koalas on the whole planet. 763 00:34:54,384 --> 00:34:57,554 Aw! So white. 764 00:34:57,637 --> 00:34:59,556 - White like a bleached asshole 765 00:34:59,639 --> 00:35:03,560 staring you in the eye on a moonless night at a Motel 6. 766 00:35:03,643 --> 00:35:06,229 - I love a bleached asshole. 767 00:35:06,313 --> 00:35:08,732 - You have a koala, for Christ's sake? 768 00:35:08,815 --> 00:35:10,358 Aw. 769 00:35:11,484 --> 00:35:14,321 - I keep a bottle of eucalyptus juice in the glove box. 770 00:35:14,404 --> 00:35:16,156 Just spray it all over her. 771 00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,158 That little white bastard will cling to her 772 00:35:18,241 --> 00:35:21,828 like a dingleberry on a truck driver's ass hair. 773 00:35:21,911 --> 00:35:24,998 - Aw. - Aw, I wanna hold him. 774 00:35:25,081 --> 00:35:26,291 - Well, you know, they don't do well 775 00:35:26,374 --> 00:35:29,252 with all the, uh, the noise and the commotion. 776 00:35:29,336 --> 00:35:33,089 So, uh, listen, why don't you take her down to the car 777 00:35:33,173 --> 00:35:35,508 and show her little Butterbuns, Bob? 778 00:35:37,010 --> 00:35:38,511 - Oh my god, really? 779 00:35:38,595 --> 00:35:39,971 - Let's go. 780 00:35:40,055 --> 00:35:41,973 Oh, okay. 781 00:35:42,057 --> 00:35:43,058 Oh my god! 782 00:35:45,226 --> 00:35:47,896 - Ah, isn't he cute? - Oh, yeah. 783 00:35:47,979 --> 00:35:49,898 - White, fluffy. 784 00:35:49,981 --> 00:35:54,110 Like a tampon that's been left out in the rain. 785 00:36:00,325 --> 00:36:01,493 - Yes, okay. 786 00:36:03,536 --> 00:36:05,622 - When can I meet the koala? 787 00:36:05,705 --> 00:36:07,290 - The, uh, koa, yeah! 788 00:36:07,374 --> 00:36:09,209 The, um, right. 789 00:36:09,292 --> 00:36:11,878 - Is he fucking over here? - Oh, yeah! 790 00:36:13,046 --> 00:36:15,215 - This should get him out. 791 00:36:16,674 --> 00:36:17,717 - Oh, yeah. 792 00:36:20,512 --> 00:36:21,513 - Whew! 793 00:36:22,514 --> 00:36:24,015 - While we're waiting, 794 00:36:24,099 --> 00:36:25,725 let's see if I can get the python 795 00:36:25,809 --> 00:36:28,895 to come out of the reptile house, Mr. Zookeeper. 796 00:36:28,978 --> 00:36:30,814 - Oh, that's me. - Oh, yeah. 797 00:36:30,897 --> 00:36:32,941 You got some venom down there for Mommy? 798 00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:34,651 - I don't know. - Oh, yeah! 799 00:36:34,734 --> 00:36:35,610 A big python. 800 00:36:35,694 --> 00:36:38,279 Oh my god! It's purple! 801 00:36:38,363 --> 00:36:39,155 - Oh my god! 802 00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:44,828 Ah! 803 00:36:46,121 --> 00:36:47,288 - Oh my god! 804 00:36:52,293 --> 00:36:53,336 I don't know what to do! 805 00:36:57,132 --> 00:36:58,174 No! 806 00:36:59,426 --> 00:37:00,343 Help! Please! 807 00:37:02,846 --> 00:37:05,181 Butterbuns! Down! 808 00:37:07,642 --> 00:37:09,018 Oh! 809 00:37:10,395 --> 00:37:11,146 Stop! 810 00:37:12,939 --> 00:37:14,274 He's fucking her face! 811 00:37:15,442 --> 00:37:16,192 Koala rape! 812 00:37:17,944 --> 00:37:18,820 Koala fucking! 813 00:37:20,613 --> 00:37:21,614 Please! Help! 814 00:37:23,283 --> 00:37:24,617 - Wait. What the hell? 815 00:37:24,701 --> 00:37:26,369 She screamed? - Yeah. 816 00:37:27,912 --> 00:37:29,539 My cock is purple, Turk. 817 00:37:29,622 --> 00:37:33,251 Don't you remember the goofy grape Slurpee idea you had? 818 00:37:33,334 --> 00:37:35,378 - Wait a minute, wait a minute. 819 00:37:35,462 --> 00:37:37,922 You're telling me you still have Smurf cock? 820 00:37:38,631 --> 00:37:40,049 - Yeah. 821 00:37:40,133 --> 00:37:42,594 - You didn't, like, douche it in vinegar or something? 822 00:37:42,677 --> 00:37:45,764 - What? Douche it off with vinegar? 823 00:37:45,847 --> 00:37:48,725 No, more like why did I let you convince me 824 00:37:48,808 --> 00:37:51,853 to put onion rings on my dick in the first place? 825 00:37:53,855 --> 00:37:54,814 It's not funny, Turk. 826 00:38:05,909 --> 00:38:08,244 It is kind of funny if you think about it. 827 00:38:15,084 --> 00:38:17,420 - Hey, I got a box of donuts in the back. 828 00:38:17,504 --> 00:38:18,421 You wanna try those? 829 00:38:23,176 --> 00:38:25,929 - I got, like, second-degree burns on my dick. 830 00:38:26,012 --> 00:38:28,348 It's like a deep-fried totem pole. 831 00:38:28,431 --> 00:38:32,143 Yeah! 832 00:38:37,607 --> 00:38:39,150 Where do you come up with this shit? 833 00:38:39,234 --> 00:38:41,277 I mean, albino koalas? 834 00:38:42,487 --> 00:38:44,822 - Hey, it's what I do, junior. 835 00:38:44,906 --> 00:38:46,366 It's my job. 836 00:38:46,449 --> 00:38:49,369 - Well, you're damn good at it, I gotta tell you that. 837 00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:51,704 I gotta ask, why? All this, why? 838 00:38:51,788 --> 00:38:53,039 I mean, you're a fully grown adult 839 00:38:53,122 --> 00:38:55,708 and yet you do this for a living? 840 00:38:55,792 --> 00:38:57,085 What am I missing here? 841 00:38:57,168 --> 00:38:58,461 Not that there's anything wrong with what you do, 842 00:38:58,545 --> 00:39:00,880 it's just, like, I don't know, come on. 843 00:39:00,964 --> 00:39:03,675 It's not like they teach wingman classes at DeVry. 844 00:39:03,758 --> 00:39:06,344 Fail, you know? 845 00:39:06,427 --> 00:39:07,262 - Hey! 846 00:39:13,935 --> 00:39:16,980 Failing's for guys that don't complete their missions. 847 00:39:17,063 --> 00:39:20,400 I will complete my mission, 848 00:39:20,483 --> 00:39:24,737 so don't ever say fail to me again, ever! 849 00:39:25,446 --> 00:39:27,407 - Relax, Turk, I was just asking. 850 00:39:29,409 --> 00:39:30,785 - Yeah, okay. 851 00:39:30,869 --> 00:39:31,870 Listen, 852 00:39:33,288 --> 00:39:34,914 we're here to get you laid. 853 00:39:36,082 --> 00:39:38,126 Not talk about my personal life. 854 00:39:40,044 --> 00:39:41,838 - Okay, understood. 855 00:39:46,759 --> 00:39:48,928 Oh, and Turk. - Yeah. 856 00:39:49,012 --> 00:39:51,097 - Sorry about losing Butterbuns. 857 00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:55,101 - Don't worry, he always comes home to Daddy. 858 00:39:56,269 --> 00:39:58,021 Shorty's Sports Bar, 859 00:39:58,104 --> 00:40:00,607 tomorrow, after work. 860 00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:02,400 Got it. 861 00:40:09,449 --> 00:40:12,660 - Come on, there's gotta be something on this guy. 862 00:40:13,536 --> 00:40:17,874 Turk Thompson. 863 00:40:17,957 --> 00:40:19,334 - What are you doing, baby? 864 00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:21,377 It's late, come to bed. 865 00:40:22,170 --> 00:40:24,714 - You ever hear of a wingman, baby? 866 00:40:24,797 --> 00:40:26,132 - Yeah, of course. 867 00:40:26,215 --> 00:40:27,842 - You have? - Sure. 868 00:40:27,926 --> 00:40:29,385 I have an uncle that's a wingman. 869 00:40:29,469 --> 00:40:32,889 - Can I meet him? - Yes, anything. 870 00:40:33,973 --> 00:40:34,933 Just come to bed. 871 00:40:42,231 --> 00:40:44,859 Mmm. 872 00:40:51,574 --> 00:40:54,494 - I didn't know hot women came to sports bars. 873 00:40:54,577 --> 00:40:56,621 - Oh yeah, they like to hunt here. 874 00:40:57,789 --> 00:41:00,249 You, uh, you enjoying the dip? 875 00:41:02,251 --> 00:41:04,712 - Oh yeah, it's a little gooey, but- 876 00:41:04,796 --> 00:41:07,256 - Yeah, 'cause that's my hair gel. 877 00:41:10,426 --> 00:41:12,428 Okay now, let's see. 878 00:41:12,512 --> 00:41:15,056 No, that one's got a crooked leg. 879 00:41:15,139 --> 00:41:17,266 Maybe you, not that one. 880 00:41:18,351 --> 00:41:19,769 - You know, I've been meaning to ask you, Turk. 881 00:41:19,852 --> 00:41:21,813 You clearly have all these women figured out. 882 00:41:21,896 --> 00:41:23,064 How are you with the ladies? 883 00:41:23,147 --> 00:41:25,441 You must have like a million girlfriends. 884 00:41:25,525 --> 00:41:27,402 - No, I keep it simple. 885 00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:30,488 Just one, you, uh, you wanna meet her? 886 00:41:31,698 --> 00:41:33,199 - Sure, yeah. 887 00:41:33,282 --> 00:41:34,283 Is she here? 888 00:41:35,451 --> 00:41:37,120 - Say hello to Betty. 889 00:41:37,203 --> 00:41:39,455 - Oh, what the hell is that? 890 00:41:39,539 --> 00:41:40,832 - Betty, this is Bob. 891 00:41:40,915 --> 00:41:42,166 Bob, this is Betty. 892 00:41:42,250 --> 00:41:44,627 - Turk, please, people are eating. 893 00:41:44,711 --> 00:41:47,255 - Listen, kid, she's the perfect girl. 894 00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:48,798 She doesn't need to go to dinner. 895 00:41:48,881 --> 00:41:50,675 She doesn't need to go shopping. 896 00:41:50,758 --> 00:41:52,260 She, uh, 897 00:41:52,343 --> 00:41:53,886 keeps me satisfied. 898 00:41:53,970 --> 00:41:54,971 - What, do you just carry that thing 899 00:41:55,054 --> 00:41:56,639 around with you all the time? 900 00:41:56,723 --> 00:42:01,102 - Listen, kid, the vagina's like a magic amulet, 901 00:42:01,185 --> 00:42:02,812 turns men into zombies. 902 00:42:02,895 --> 00:42:07,316 Yeah, wherever it goes, they go. 903 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,945 Power of the pussy, baby. 904 00:42:11,029 --> 00:42:14,574 No man can resist. - What the? 905 00:42:17,410 --> 00:42:19,912 - Dog rescue reject coming in hard. 906 00:42:20,913 --> 00:42:25,418 Yeah, I see her at every social event in town. 907 00:42:26,419 --> 00:42:28,463 So here's what we're gonna do, 908 00:42:28,546 --> 00:42:32,091 I'll use Betty to take out the jock meatheads 909 00:42:32,175 --> 00:42:34,177 and you go in for the kill. 910 00:42:37,263 --> 00:42:38,848 Excuse me, boys. 911 00:42:39,766 --> 00:42:41,184 Okay. 912 00:42:41,267 --> 00:42:43,227 - Yeah, why don't you watch where you're going, asshole? 913 00:42:43,311 --> 00:42:46,814 - Oh, why don't you watch this, hm? 914 00:42:46,898 --> 00:42:49,108 Come on, boys, come on. 915 00:42:50,943 --> 00:42:52,361 Come on. 916 00:42:52,445 --> 00:42:53,279 - Hello. - Hi. 917 00:42:54,614 --> 00:42:55,531 - How are you? 918 00:43:11,881 --> 00:43:14,967 - Hey, what are we doing out here? 919 00:43:15,051 --> 00:43:16,803 Let's kick this old dude's ass! 920 00:43:37,490 --> 00:43:40,451 Hey, wingman, you got time for one more? 921 00:43:44,330 --> 00:43:48,751 - Jesus, there's always one that won't stay down. 922 00:43:57,552 --> 00:43:59,428 Fuck me tender in the night. 923 00:43:59,512 --> 00:44:01,389 - You left your asshat alone in there. 924 00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:04,308 A wingman never leaves his man. 925 00:44:04,392 --> 00:44:07,603 - But I had, I had enemy combatants coming in on all sides. 926 00:44:07,687 --> 00:44:09,689 There was, 'cause they were, they were all- 927 00:44:30,585 --> 00:44:31,794 - It's really interesting. 928 00:44:31,878 --> 00:44:33,462 - I know. - Yeah. 929 00:44:33,546 --> 00:44:36,924 - Well, my last dog died. 930 00:44:37,008 --> 00:44:39,135 - Oh no. - Yeah. 931 00:44:39,218 --> 00:44:41,554 - That's unfortunate. - I know. 932 00:44:43,556 --> 00:44:47,310 Oh, no, that's so sad. 933 00:44:47,393 --> 00:44:49,604 How did he die, your dog? 934 00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:51,606 - Hit by a bus. - A greyhound? 935 00:44:51,689 --> 00:44:55,610 - No, it was a chihuahua. - Oh. 936 00:44:55,693 --> 00:44:58,154 Yeah. 937 00:44:59,989 --> 00:45:02,658 - Look, you show her tears, she's all yours. 938 00:45:02,742 --> 00:45:05,494 - I can't cry on demand. 939 00:45:05,578 --> 00:45:09,582 - All right, this is gonna sting, but it will get you tears. 940 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:12,210 - Ow! 941 00:45:12,293 --> 00:45:15,713 Fuck! 942 00:45:23,095 --> 00:45:24,388 - You. - Yeah. 943 00:45:25,097 --> 00:45:26,182 - You're crying. 944 00:45:26,265 --> 00:45:27,350 - So sad. 945 00:45:33,272 --> 00:45:34,857 - One sec. - Yeah. 946 00:45:34,941 --> 00:45:36,734 Oh, no, you don't have- 947 00:45:38,653 --> 00:45:40,154 Oh god. 948 00:45:40,237 --> 00:45:41,656 Oh, mm-mm, mm-mm. 949 00:45:46,577 --> 00:45:49,664 - Is he okay? - Just emotional. 950 00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:50,748 He, uh, 951 00:45:50,831 --> 00:45:52,208 he also had a chihuahua. - Oh, yeah? 952 00:45:52,291 --> 00:45:55,586 - Died in a horrible lawnmower accident. 953 00:45:55,670 --> 00:45:57,672 Meat everywhere. - Oh my god. 954 00:45:57,755 --> 00:45:58,923 - Yeah. 955 00:45:59,006 --> 00:46:00,675 You know what the irony is? - Yeah? 956 00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:03,427 - Dog's name was Taco. - Taco. 957 00:46:03,511 --> 00:46:05,930 - The little bugeyed, trembly bastard. 958 00:46:06,013 --> 00:46:11,185 Oh my god, Taco? 959 00:46:18,359 --> 00:46:20,027 - Turk, you're awfully quiet. 960 00:46:20,111 --> 00:46:20,945 You okay? 961 00:46:23,406 --> 00:46:26,117 Like you've seen a ghost or something. 962 00:46:29,161 --> 00:46:32,707 - Yeah, maybe I did. 963 00:46:36,335 --> 00:46:40,381 Doesn't matter, time for new targets. 964 00:46:40,464 --> 00:46:44,010 No more dog ladies, it's time for cats. 965 00:46:44,844 --> 00:46:46,595 We're headed to Cougar Country. 966 00:47:10,661 --> 00:47:12,872 Barbara Botox at six o'clock. 967 00:47:16,083 --> 00:47:16,917 Let's go. 968 00:47:21,464 --> 00:47:23,424 Hello, Lord Greystoke, uh, 969 00:47:23,507 --> 00:47:25,051 beautiful art, isn't it? 970 00:47:27,053 --> 00:47:29,221 This is Bob, he's an artist. 971 00:47:29,305 --> 00:47:32,141 - It is so sensual. - Mhmm. 972 00:47:32,224 --> 00:47:35,394 You know, I paint, um- 973 00:47:35,478 --> 00:47:36,520 - Nudes. 974 00:47:38,189 --> 00:47:39,815 - Dog lady at three o'clock. 975 00:47:39,899 --> 00:47:40,816 I told you she's everywhere. 976 00:47:42,359 --> 00:47:43,736 Can't let her see you. 977 00:47:43,819 --> 00:47:45,071 Time to D and D. 978 00:47:45,154 --> 00:47:47,615 Divert. Distract. 979 00:47:53,412 --> 00:47:56,540 - You know, how about I grab us a couple drinks? 980 00:47:56,624 --> 00:48:00,795 No, let me. 981 00:48:07,426 --> 00:48:09,011 - There's nothing there. 982 00:48:09,678 --> 00:48:12,807 - Well, maybe to an albino. 983 00:48:12,890 --> 00:48:15,810 It's like a tampon that's been hit by a steamroller. 984 00:48:15,893 --> 00:48:17,186 Oh. 985 00:48:17,269 --> 00:48:18,521 - Bro, what are you doing here? 986 00:48:18,604 --> 00:48:20,356 - Skip. - I've been searching the net 987 00:48:20,439 --> 00:48:22,066 for days on your wingman guy, 988 00:48:22,149 --> 00:48:23,275 and I can't find anything. 989 00:48:23,359 --> 00:48:24,276 - Do you think he's on the run? 990 00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:25,653 You think he's like a criminal? 991 00:48:25,736 --> 00:48:28,030 - I'm not sure, I might have to go on the dark web. 992 00:48:28,114 --> 00:48:29,573 Megan has an uncle that might be able to help, 993 00:48:29,657 --> 00:48:31,158 so I'll set up a lunch meeting. 994 00:48:31,242 --> 00:48:32,576 - Okay, got it. 995 00:48:32,660 --> 00:48:33,577 - Nice suit. 996 00:48:37,873 --> 00:48:39,542 I like old. 997 00:48:39,625 --> 00:48:41,001 Well. 998 00:48:41,085 --> 00:48:43,379 So do ghosts. 999 00:48:46,006 --> 00:48:48,384 - I give you nothing. 1000 00:48:51,637 --> 00:48:55,558 We are all nothing. 1001 00:48:55,641 --> 00:48:58,519 You are nothing. 1002 00:48:59,395 --> 00:49:01,021 I am 1003 00:49:02,106 --> 00:49:02,982 nothing. 1004 00:49:07,236 --> 00:49:08,404 - Oh. 1005 00:49:08,487 --> 00:49:13,409 So what do you think of the art? 1006 00:49:15,035 --> 00:49:17,288 - It is all in the mind, people. 1007 00:49:17,371 --> 00:49:19,665 We are all but fragments. 1008 00:49:20,499 --> 00:49:24,170 For what is a man with no legs? 1009 00:49:25,087 --> 00:49:28,340 What is a woman with one arm? 1010 00:49:29,592 --> 00:49:33,471 - A 50/50 shot at a hand job where I come from? 1011 00:49:49,195 --> 00:49:53,782 - What you're saying is everything is nothing. 1012 00:49:54,575 --> 00:49:56,118 - Exactly. 1013 00:49:56,202 --> 00:49:59,038 You see, am I petting this dog? 1014 00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:00,122 - Yeah. 1015 00:50:00,289 --> 00:50:01,832 - Or am I petting nothing? 1016 00:50:02,708 --> 00:50:05,961 Am I touching this man's face? 1017 00:50:06,045 --> 00:50:07,671 Or am I touching nothing? 1018 00:50:08,881 --> 00:50:12,468 Am I holding this furried animal? 1019 00:50:13,511 --> 00:50:15,095 Or am I holding nothing? 1020 00:50:17,097 --> 00:50:18,182 Ladies and gentlemen, 1021 00:50:18,265 --> 00:50:21,477 I give to you nothing! 1022 00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:24,271 Here's something! 1023 00:50:29,401 --> 00:50:31,529 - Know anywhere quiet we could go? 1024 00:50:48,170 --> 00:50:51,006 - I have to warn you, my place is a bit of a disaster area. 1025 00:50:51,090 --> 00:50:52,424 Had I known you were coming I- 1026 00:50:54,885 --> 00:50:56,845 - Well, if this is messy, 1027 00:50:56,929 --> 00:50:58,639 I'd love to see what clean looks like. 1028 00:50:58,722 --> 00:50:59,515 - Yeah, right. 1029 00:50:59,598 --> 00:51:03,602 - Mm. - Oh, okay. 1030 00:51:03,686 --> 00:51:05,354 - Come on. - Oh, uh, 1031 00:51:05,437 --> 00:51:07,439 well, why don't you make yourself comfortable. 1032 00:51:07,523 --> 00:51:08,899 I'll get us some drinks. 1033 00:51:10,234 --> 00:51:12,278 "Hey, Bob, here's all the work 1034 00:51:12,361 --> 00:51:14,196 for your presentation. 1035 00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:16,365 I hope you don't mind, I straightened up a little. 1036 00:51:16,448 --> 00:51:19,618 P.S. Watch out for the rat traps, Holly. " 1037 00:51:19,702 --> 00:51:22,621 ♪ Ooh, sexy lady ♪ 1038 00:51:23,330 --> 00:51:24,540 - So I- 1039 00:51:31,005 --> 00:51:34,383 - Well. 1040 00:51:34,466 --> 00:51:36,385 What took you so long? 1041 00:51:36,468 --> 00:51:40,139 I'm more swollen than cheese puffs in an air fryer. 1042 00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:44,727 - Oh my god. 1043 00:51:47,146 --> 00:51:49,398 Mmm. 1044 00:51:49,481 --> 00:51:51,692 Ah. 1045 00:51:51,775 --> 00:51:52,901 Ah. 1046 00:51:52,985 --> 00:51:54,153 You feel good. 1047 00:51:55,654 --> 00:51:56,447 - Oh! 1048 00:51:58,699 --> 00:52:02,536 I, you know, I just think we're moving a little bit fast. 1049 00:52:03,746 --> 00:52:04,705 - Good. 1050 00:52:04,788 --> 00:52:06,582 I like it fast. 1051 00:52:08,250 --> 00:52:10,419 It's party time, Pinky. 1052 00:52:10,502 --> 00:52:13,464 ♪ Do that thing that you know how to do ♪ 1053 00:52:13,547 --> 00:52:14,340 - Ooh. 1054 00:52:14,423 --> 00:52:15,507 Oh, no, no. 1055 00:52:17,718 --> 00:52:20,512 Ah! 1056 00:52:20,596 --> 00:52:22,598 - You're a very lucky man, Bob. 1057 00:52:24,141 --> 00:52:26,143 No blood vessels have been ruptured. 1058 00:52:27,394 --> 00:52:29,688 - Look, does everyone have to be in here? 1059 00:52:31,065 --> 00:52:36,362 - Though I've never seen such rampant purple bruising. 1060 00:52:40,282 --> 00:52:41,200 - Really? 1061 00:52:52,044 --> 00:52:56,382 - All right, that was a mild setback. 1062 00:52:56,465 --> 00:52:59,051 We're gonna let the purple-asaurus rest for a night, 1063 00:52:59,134 --> 00:53:01,136 and then we're back on it tomorrow. 1064 00:53:01,220 --> 00:53:03,097 - Yeah. - Dress real nice. 1065 00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:04,640 We're going for some, uh, 1066 00:53:07,726 --> 00:53:09,144 Wall Street beaver. 1067 00:53:16,777 --> 00:53:18,445 - Wall Street beaver? 1068 00:53:19,613 --> 00:53:22,157 - We'll get your girl back, Onion Rings. 1069 00:53:22,241 --> 00:53:23,242 You'll see. 1070 00:53:34,420 --> 00:53:36,672 - Holly, I couldn't believe how clean my place was. 1071 00:53:36,755 --> 00:53:37,673 You didn't have to do that. 1072 00:53:37,756 --> 00:53:39,800 - Yeah, you know, I did. 1073 00:53:39,883 --> 00:53:41,969 I was having nightmares about it, 1074 00:53:42,052 --> 00:53:45,806 and I pictured your apartment getting worse and worse, 1075 00:53:45,889 --> 00:53:47,349 and turning into the blob. 1076 00:53:48,642 --> 00:53:51,603 And devouring the whole city. 1077 00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:02,281 - What? 1078 00:54:05,951 --> 00:54:08,203 What are you looking at? 1079 00:54:08,287 --> 00:54:09,788 - Nothing, no, uh. 1080 00:54:11,832 --> 00:54:13,959 Did you do something different with your hair? 1081 00:54:14,042 --> 00:54:15,043 - Yeah. 1082 00:54:16,044 --> 00:54:18,297 I brushed it, you should try it sometime. 1083 00:54:19,590 --> 00:54:21,592 Two days until the presentation, Mister. 1084 00:54:21,675 --> 00:54:23,927 You ready? - I'm getting there. 1085 00:54:24,011 --> 00:54:26,221 I'm, uh, on it all night. 1086 00:54:26,305 --> 00:54:27,848 Your research as been a big help. 1087 00:54:27,931 --> 00:54:30,684 Thanks, Holly. - Hey, it's what I do. 1088 00:54:30,768 --> 00:54:32,561 - Oh, and Holly. - Hmm? 1089 00:54:32,644 --> 00:54:35,272 - Tell Tim I wanna rematch on "Halo," all right. 1090 00:54:36,815 --> 00:54:37,983 - Yeah, um, 1091 00:54:39,318 --> 00:54:40,944 look, Bob, Tim and I- 1092 00:54:41,028 --> 00:54:43,113 - Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, my man. 1093 00:54:44,656 --> 00:54:46,116 Better join me for lunch, pal. 1094 00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:47,993 I got the goods on your wingman. 1095 00:54:48,786 --> 00:54:50,746 License plate panned out. 1096 00:54:52,456 --> 00:54:54,583 What are we doing at an airplane museum? 1097 00:54:54,666 --> 00:54:55,959 We're here to meet a wingman. 1098 00:54:56,043 --> 00:54:57,795 Megan's uncle, Corey. 1099 00:54:59,379 --> 00:55:01,089 - Skip, right? 1100 00:55:01,173 --> 00:55:02,174 - Corey. 1101 00:55:03,842 --> 00:55:05,260 Oh! 1102 00:55:05,344 --> 00:55:06,762 - You all right, you all right? 1103 00:55:06,845 --> 00:55:09,264 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, give me a hand here, Turkey Legs. 1104 00:55:09,348 --> 00:55:11,558 Jesus, ah, let's go on a tour. 1105 00:55:11,642 --> 00:55:16,104 The other way, the other way, you goof case. 1106 00:55:16,188 --> 00:55:17,773 All right, let's go, boys. 1107 00:55:17,856 --> 00:55:19,149 - You're not still doing the wingman thing? 1108 00:55:19,233 --> 00:55:20,359 Are you, Uncle Corey? 1109 00:55:20,442 --> 00:55:22,069 - Hell no, that's a young man's game. 1110 00:55:22,152 --> 00:55:24,196 - Have you ever heard of a Turk Thompson? 1111 00:55:24,279 --> 00:55:25,155 - He's a wingman. 1112 00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:27,324 - I've never heard of the guy. 1113 00:55:27,407 --> 00:55:28,325 Who'd he fly with? 1114 00:55:28,408 --> 00:55:30,035 Is he out of Camp Pendleton? 1115 00:55:30,118 --> 00:55:32,120 - Uh, no, we're talking about like a wingman. 1116 00:55:32,204 --> 00:55:36,875 - So am I, Vietnam War, I flew 32 missions over Khe Sanh. 1117 00:55:36,959 --> 00:55:40,128 Some say that the wingman was the most dangerous role 1118 00:55:40,212 --> 00:55:41,630 in the whole military, 1119 00:55:41,713 --> 00:55:43,674 but I was just doing my job. 1120 00:55:43,757 --> 00:55:45,092 - Uh, listen, when you say wingman, 1121 00:55:45,175 --> 00:55:47,511 what exactly are you, like, referring to though? 1122 00:55:47,594 --> 00:55:50,180 - We flew in pairs, protected the fighter bombers 1123 00:55:50,264 --> 00:55:52,307 so they could carry out the missions! 1124 00:55:53,225 --> 00:55:56,311 A lot of us never came home, bugeyes! 1125 00:55:56,395 --> 00:55:59,439 All right, Tinsel Tits, follow me. 1126 00:56:03,235 --> 00:56:04,403 - What about chicks? 1127 00:56:04,486 --> 00:56:05,904 Did you guys ever pick up chicks at bars? 1128 00:56:05,988 --> 00:56:08,031 - What are you talking about, you pervert? 1129 00:56:08,115 --> 00:56:11,243 Flora and I have been together for 65 years! 1130 00:56:11,326 --> 00:56:12,327 Jesus! 1131 00:56:14,871 --> 00:56:17,833 Boys, you wanna go on a bombing run? 1132 00:56:17,916 --> 00:56:19,251 Ha-ha, yeah. 1133 00:56:30,596 --> 00:56:31,597 - Hey, Turk. 1134 00:56:33,891 --> 00:56:35,517 I thought you said to dress up. 1135 00:56:35,601 --> 00:56:37,185 - Yeah, and? 1136 00:56:38,937 --> 00:56:40,647 - You look good. - Look, 1137 00:56:41,690 --> 00:56:43,859 these chicks run with a tough crowd, all right? 1138 00:56:43,942 --> 00:56:46,695 They're smart, most of them have degrees. 1139 00:56:46,778 --> 00:56:48,780 But if you can bag a smart chick, 1140 00:56:48,864 --> 00:56:50,574 you can get just about anyone. 1141 00:56:52,451 --> 00:56:54,870 - Do you have to make it sound so greasy? 1142 00:56:54,953 --> 00:56:56,747 What if I just try being myself? 1143 00:56:57,706 --> 00:56:59,249 - How the hell you gonna do that? 1144 00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:02,669 - I always wanted to go fly fishing with a girl, you know? 1145 00:57:02,753 --> 00:57:04,546 You know, just two people out in the wilderness, 1146 00:57:04,630 --> 00:57:05,464 out in nature? 1147 00:57:05,547 --> 00:57:07,507 No bars, no pickup lines, 1148 00:57:07,591 --> 00:57:10,677 just two people being themselves. 1149 00:57:10,761 --> 00:57:11,720 - Ugh. 1150 00:57:17,267 --> 00:57:19,478 Are you freaking cereal right now? 1151 00:57:19,561 --> 00:57:21,396 This isn't 1942. 1152 00:57:21,480 --> 00:57:23,899 Those kind of girls don't exist anymore. 1153 00:57:24,733 --> 00:57:25,817 Don't be an idiot. 1154 00:57:25,901 --> 00:57:27,194 Pay attention. 1155 00:57:27,277 --> 00:57:30,113 Do as I say, take this. 1156 00:57:33,158 --> 00:57:35,494 - What the hell am I supposed to do with this? 1157 00:57:35,577 --> 00:57:38,747 - Girls in this place are, uh, thinkers. 1158 00:57:38,830 --> 00:57:41,667 They need stimuli to get their juices going. 1159 00:57:42,584 --> 00:57:43,543 Come on. 1160 00:57:45,170 --> 00:57:47,047 There's your mark, let's go. 1161 00:57:50,092 --> 00:57:51,635 - Fossil fuels got us this far. 1162 00:57:51,718 --> 00:57:52,844 I think we're gonna be okay. 1163 00:57:52,928 --> 00:57:54,596 - No, you can't argue with science. 1164 00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:56,223 Greenhouse gases are real. 1165 00:57:56,306 --> 00:57:58,725 - Did somebody say gases? 1166 00:58:04,606 --> 00:58:07,150 Hey, uh, what's your name, guy? 1167 00:58:07,234 --> 00:58:08,276 - Tim Ryder. 1168 00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:09,361 - Ride her? 1169 00:58:09,444 --> 00:58:10,904 I barely know her. 1170 00:58:10,987 --> 00:58:13,657 Check it out, I can fart your name. 1171 00:58:13,740 --> 00:58:16,034 Tim Ryder. 1172 00:58:16,118 --> 00:58:17,452 - Hey, do you wanna get some fresh air? 1173 00:58:17,536 --> 00:58:18,620 - Let's get out of here. - Please. 1174 00:58:18,704 --> 00:58:20,080 Yeah. - What's the matter with you? 1175 00:58:20,163 --> 00:58:22,541 - Hey, where's everybody going? 1176 00:58:22,624 --> 00:58:23,625 - Whew! 1177 00:58:24,876 --> 00:58:26,962 What was up with that guy, amirite? 1178 00:58:27,045 --> 00:58:30,257 - Thought he was with you? - No, sort of. 1179 00:58:31,216 --> 00:58:33,844 - Sort of? - Not really. 1180 00:58:34,052 --> 00:58:37,222 - Was he or wasn't he? - Not really. 1181 00:58:38,015 --> 00:58:40,642 - Wow, indecisive and a liar. 1182 00:58:40,726 --> 00:58:42,811 Charming first qualities, goodnight. 1183 00:58:42,894 --> 00:58:44,187 - Okay, wait. 1184 00:58:44,271 --> 00:58:47,607 Okay, I admit, I used him as a diversion 1185 00:58:47,691 --> 00:58:49,484 so I could talk to you. 1186 00:58:49,568 --> 00:58:50,777 - Farting people's names? 1187 00:58:50,861 --> 00:58:52,112 Oh, that's quite the tactic. 1188 00:58:52,195 --> 00:58:54,072 - Oh, no, that part I didn't know. 1189 00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:59,077 - Okay, so you got me away from everybody. 1190 00:58:59,161 --> 00:59:00,412 What's your next move? 1191 00:59:02,038 --> 00:59:03,040 - Move? 1192 00:59:05,042 --> 00:59:07,669 - Look, um, what's your name? 1193 00:59:07,753 --> 00:59:08,712 - I'm Bob. 1194 00:59:09,963 --> 00:59:11,423 - Bob? - Yeah. 1195 00:59:13,341 --> 00:59:16,136 - Bob, I've been hit on by everybody 1196 00:59:16,219 --> 00:59:18,013 from doctors to lawyers. 1197 00:59:18,096 --> 00:59:20,807 Okay, I'm not looking for a booty call, 1198 00:59:20,891 --> 00:59:22,934 or a sexting daddy, friends with benefits. 1199 00:59:23,018 --> 00:59:25,937 - Oh no, I, I, I wasn't trying to be like- 1200 00:59:26,021 --> 00:59:29,149 - What? You just wanna get to know me? 1201 00:59:29,232 --> 00:59:31,943 Find out who I really am deep down inside? 1202 00:59:34,279 --> 00:59:35,781 I've heard it all before, Bob. 1203 00:59:35,864 --> 00:59:37,741 Not all women are as stupid and predictable 1204 00:59:37,824 --> 00:59:39,159 as you want them to be. 1205 00:59:39,993 --> 00:59:41,203 - Okay, all right, you know what? 1206 00:59:41,286 --> 00:59:43,246 You got me, you're 100% right. 1207 00:59:43,330 --> 00:59:45,707 You want me to be real? Let's be real. 1208 00:59:45,791 --> 00:59:47,167 I came in here tonight with the farting guy 1209 00:59:47,250 --> 00:59:49,252 so I could hit on smart girls like you, 1210 00:59:49,336 --> 00:59:51,046 and I used him as a diversion. 1211 00:59:52,464 --> 00:59:53,507 - A wingman, huh? 1212 00:59:54,508 --> 00:59:57,177 How pathetic are you? - I'm not pathetic. 1213 00:59:57,260 --> 01:00:00,764 I'm just a little lonely and a little hurt, 1214 01:00:00,847 --> 01:00:03,600 and sure I was trying to get a little action. 1215 01:00:03,683 --> 01:00:05,602 - Oh, and so now you've come clean, I'm what? 1216 01:00:05,685 --> 01:00:07,979 Supposed to like you for it? 1217 01:00:10,482 --> 01:00:13,693 ♪ To blame, love is just a game ♪ 1218 01:00:13,777 --> 01:00:15,654 - Have you ever been fly fishing? 1219 01:00:16,655 --> 01:00:18,698 'Cause I'd love to go fly fishing with you. 1220 01:00:18,782 --> 01:00:21,243 - Fly fishing? - Yeah. 1221 01:00:21,326 --> 01:00:24,246 Wait. 1222 01:00:24,329 --> 01:00:28,625 That has got to be the lamest pickup line ever. 1223 01:00:28,708 --> 01:00:30,585 Wow, fly fishing? 1224 01:00:30,669 --> 01:00:33,088 Oh, oh, oh gee. 1225 01:00:33,171 --> 01:00:34,589 Oh, you got me! 1226 01:00:36,508 --> 01:00:37,384 - Okay, wait. 1227 01:00:39,094 --> 01:00:40,428 I was hoping you could help me with this. 1228 01:00:40,512 --> 01:00:44,224 ♪ So you play it all again ♪ 1229 01:00:44,307 --> 01:00:47,310 Hmm, nicely played, Bob. 1230 01:00:47,394 --> 01:00:48,186 Drink? 1231 01:00:50,355 --> 01:00:53,358 - The best way to get a smart chick is to- 1232 01:00:53,441 --> 01:00:57,112 - Let her think she's smarter than you. 1233 01:00:59,948 --> 01:01:01,116 - Well, well, well. 1234 01:01:02,033 --> 01:01:04,828 If it isn't the world's sleaziest wingman. 1235 01:01:06,663 --> 01:01:07,664 - The Elk Room. 1236 01:01:08,957 --> 01:01:13,253 Let me guess, the old Rubik's, to get in her pubes, Cube. 1237 01:01:14,337 --> 01:01:15,797 Who's the client? 1238 01:01:15,881 --> 01:01:17,924 - Take a good look, Cow Tits. 1239 01:01:22,220 --> 01:01:23,805 - Suck my sister's leg braces. 1240 01:01:23,889 --> 01:01:26,433 I think I know that kid. - Yeah, you do. 1241 01:01:27,684 --> 01:01:31,146 I'm getting my client, his fiance back, Sea Otter Balls. 1242 01:01:31,229 --> 01:01:32,898 - We'll see about that, Turk. 1243 01:01:44,993 --> 01:01:48,038 - This has been a long time coming. 1244 01:01:53,752 --> 01:01:57,464 - When the clock chimes 10:30, we draw. 1245 01:01:58,924 --> 01:02:00,592 - Bring it, Cold Slaw Sack. 1246 01:02:59,025 --> 01:03:00,151 - It burns. 1247 01:03:01,569 --> 01:03:02,570 It burns. 1248 01:03:17,377 --> 01:03:19,838 - There's two kinds of wingmen, Wingman. 1249 01:03:21,006 --> 01:03:22,841 Ones who can take the heat, 1250 01:03:22,924 --> 01:03:24,676 and the ones who fail their mission 1251 01:03:24,759 --> 01:03:27,762 and let life slap 'em in the face with its balls. 1252 01:03:48,366 --> 01:03:49,659 - Daddy's home. 1253 01:03:54,873 --> 01:03:56,207 - No. 1254 01:04:04,549 --> 01:04:05,800 Oh, shit. 1255 01:04:05,884 --> 01:04:07,010 No. No. 1256 01:04:12,807 --> 01:04:15,018 - Binjo, asshole. 1257 01:04:16,561 --> 01:04:18,772 - On the floor now! 1258 01:04:22,150 --> 01:04:25,403 - Hey, hold on, Hawaii Five-O, show's over. 1259 01:04:34,996 --> 01:04:37,207 - Can't believe you know the guy that helped steal my fiance 1260 01:04:37,290 --> 01:04:39,000 and you didn't say anything! 1261 01:04:39,084 --> 01:04:40,460 - Just get me home, all right? 1262 01:04:40,543 --> 01:04:42,337 And be careful, I've never let anyone else 1263 01:04:42,420 --> 01:04:44,714 drive the orgasm-mobile before. 1264 01:04:44,798 --> 01:04:47,258 Oh yeah? 1265 01:04:47,342 --> 01:04:49,094 - Ah! 1266 01:04:49,177 --> 01:04:49,928 What the hell was that? 1267 01:04:50,011 --> 01:04:51,221 - That was a pothole! 1268 01:04:51,304 --> 01:04:52,680 Oh, look, another one coming up, 1269 01:04:52,764 --> 01:04:53,848 so you better start talking. 1270 01:04:53,932 --> 01:04:55,100 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1271 01:04:55,183 --> 01:04:57,310 No more potholes! - Who is he? 1272 01:04:58,395 --> 01:04:59,562 - All right. 1273 01:05:00,605 --> 01:05:03,483 He's a guy just like me, does what I do. 1274 01:05:03,566 --> 01:05:05,693 Look, I always have my client's back. 1275 01:05:05,777 --> 01:05:07,195 I always complete the mission. 1276 01:05:07,278 --> 01:05:09,447 - Oh, and you, you really had my back tonight, didn't you? 1277 01:05:09,531 --> 01:05:12,033 I mean, I finally had the perfect girl. 1278 01:05:12,117 --> 01:05:13,660 She was ready to come home and close the deal. 1279 01:05:13,743 --> 01:05:16,371 As stupid as your Rubik's Cube idea was, it worked. 1280 01:05:16,454 --> 01:05:19,541 But then you had to get all "Good, Bad, and Ugly" on us. 1281 01:05:19,624 --> 01:05:22,460 - Now settle down, we still got tomorrow. 1282 01:05:23,128 --> 01:05:24,337 Never lost a client yet. 1283 01:05:24,420 --> 01:05:26,798 Just get me home. 1284 01:05:28,007 --> 01:05:29,968 You there? - Of course, I'm here, Turk! 1285 01:05:30,051 --> 01:05:31,636 I'm still driving the car! 1286 01:05:31,719 --> 01:05:32,929 - Well, fucking talk to me! 1287 01:05:33,012 --> 01:05:35,598 What are you, side languaging me over there? 1288 01:05:35,682 --> 01:05:37,892 'Cause I can do it too! - Let's see it. 1289 01:05:39,269 --> 01:05:40,728 - You know what I just said? - What? 1290 01:05:40,812 --> 01:05:43,398 - "Fuck off," in seven languages! 1291 01:05:45,525 --> 01:05:48,528 There's eight, I just hit you with Chinese. 1292 01:05:48,611 --> 01:05:49,696 - All right, I wanna hear Jamaican. 1293 01:05:49,779 --> 01:05:50,905 It's impressive at this point. 1294 01:05:50,989 --> 01:05:52,907 To Bob-a-rasscrack, 1295 01:05:53,032 --> 01:05:56,786 better fuck off the papparasp, mon. 1296 01:05:57,704 --> 01:05:59,414 Here's one in English, fuck off. 1297 01:05:59,497 --> 01:06:03,668 ♪ I'll help you close your eyes ♪ 1298 01:06:04,460 --> 01:06:05,545 Bedroom's on the left. 1299 01:06:05,628 --> 01:06:09,340 ♪ And forget about to ♪ 1300 01:06:09,424 --> 01:06:13,595 - Yep, there you go. ♪ Day ♪ 1301 01:06:13,678 --> 01:06:15,096 - Listen, uh, 1302 01:06:15,180 --> 01:06:18,057 go into the kitchen and get me a rag for my eyes. 1303 01:06:19,058 --> 01:06:21,519 And there's a beer and cold cuts in the fridge 1304 01:06:21,603 --> 01:06:23,062 if you need a snack. 1305 01:06:31,529 --> 01:06:34,449 - Nothing, just as I expected. 1306 01:06:37,994 --> 01:06:42,332 Hmm. 1307 01:06:42,415 --> 01:06:43,416 Ice cream? 1308 01:06:44,709 --> 01:06:45,710 Okay. 1309 01:06:49,214 --> 01:06:51,591 Little salty, but that'll do. 1310 01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:57,597 - Ah yeah. 1311 01:06:57,680 --> 01:06:58,848 Oh. 1312 01:07:04,896 --> 01:07:06,648 - What the fuck is this, Turk? 1313 01:07:06,731 --> 01:07:08,399 Why is there a photo of you with the slime ball 1314 01:07:08,483 --> 01:07:09,734 from the bar tonight? 1315 01:07:11,569 --> 01:07:12,820 - Hey. 1316 01:07:12,904 --> 01:07:14,906 Hey, listen, you know what? 1317 01:07:14,989 --> 01:07:17,242 Why don't we just call tonight a write off, okay? 1318 01:07:17,325 --> 01:07:18,993 Look, I, I won't even charge you. 1319 01:07:19,077 --> 01:07:20,161 - Oh, you won't even charge me? 1320 01:07:20,245 --> 01:07:22,163 No, what the fuck is going on, Turk? 1321 01:07:22,247 --> 01:07:23,498 - I trained him. 1322 01:07:24,290 --> 01:07:26,209 - You, you trained the guy 1323 01:07:26,292 --> 01:07:28,002 who stole my fiance? - Yeah. 1324 01:07:28,086 --> 01:07:29,754 - This just keeps getting better. 1325 01:07:29,837 --> 01:07:31,965 - Yeah, look, relax, okay. 1326 01:07:32,048 --> 01:07:34,592 This gig is gonna put him out of business, 1327 01:07:34,676 --> 01:07:37,637 and I'm gonna be the only wingman on the block again. 1328 01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:41,391 - So, you've just been using me to get to this prick? 1329 01:07:41,474 --> 01:07:43,685 Is that what this has all been about? 1330 01:07:43,768 --> 01:07:44,769 - No. 1331 01:07:46,312 --> 01:07:47,605 Don't you see, kid? 1332 01:07:48,273 --> 01:07:49,607 It's about the money. 1333 01:07:51,609 --> 01:07:52,610 - Obviously. 1334 01:07:53,611 --> 01:07:54,696 Asshole. 1335 01:07:59,242 --> 01:08:01,744 - Reports have come in of enemy combatants 1336 01:08:01,828 --> 01:08:05,790 shooting an American jet fighter out of the sky. 1337 01:08:05,873 --> 01:08:07,333 It's our belief 1338 01:08:07,417 --> 01:08:11,546 that Captain Scott Riker is still alive behind enemy lines. 1339 01:08:11,629 --> 01:08:14,007 - Reports have come in of enemy combatants 1340 01:08:14,090 --> 01:08:17,969 shooting an American jet fighter out of the sky. 1341 01:08:18,051 --> 01:08:19,511 It is our belief 1342 01:08:19,595 --> 01:08:24,017 that Captain Scott Riker is still alive behind enemy lines. 1343 01:08:24,100 --> 01:08:26,352 - Reports have come in of enemy combatants 1344 01:08:26,435 --> 01:08:29,147 shooting an American jet fighter out of the sky. 1345 01:08:29,229 --> 01:08:31,357 - It is our belief that Captain Scott Riker 1346 01:08:31,441 --> 01:08:34,694 is still alive behind enemy lines. 1347 01:08:34,777 --> 01:08:37,071 - Reports have come in of enemy combatants 1348 01:08:37,154 --> 01:08:39,823 shooting an American jet fighter out of the sky. 1349 01:08:39,907 --> 01:08:40,867 It is our belief 1350 01:08:40,950 --> 01:08:41,951 that Captain Scott Riker- 1351 01:08:42,035 --> 01:08:44,245 - What the hell are you doing in here? 1352 01:08:44,328 --> 01:08:46,538 - Don't worry, I was just leaving. 1353 01:08:46,622 --> 01:08:48,124 - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 1354 01:08:48,207 --> 01:08:50,001 Wait, wait, no, no, no. 1355 01:08:50,084 --> 01:08:54,087 Tomorrow night, 2100 hours, Pink Taboo. 1356 01:08:54,921 --> 01:08:56,924 Our final mission. - No, no, no. 1357 01:08:57,008 --> 01:08:58,926 Tonight was our final mission. 1358 01:08:59,010 --> 01:09:02,846 You delusional G.I. Joe fantasy boy. 1359 01:09:04,515 --> 01:09:06,017 You used me, Turk. 1360 01:09:06,975 --> 01:09:09,729 Yeah, and worst of all, 1361 01:09:09,812 --> 01:09:12,732 you're the reason I lost the love of my life. 1362 01:09:12,814 --> 01:09:16,234 - Oh, boo, hoo, hoo. 1363 01:09:16,319 --> 01:09:19,363 Like, you're the only one who's ever lost somebody, huh? 1364 01:09:21,157 --> 01:09:23,743 - You're a real piece of... 1365 01:09:27,537 --> 01:09:30,500 I, I get it now. 1366 01:09:30,582 --> 01:09:32,877 I, I can't believe I didn't understand it. 1367 01:09:33,920 --> 01:09:36,046 Microscopes, beakers. 1368 01:09:37,090 --> 01:09:38,466 Crystal meth, how did I not see this before? 1369 01:09:38,549 --> 01:09:41,301 You're some kind of insane meth head, aren't you? 1370 01:09:41,386 --> 01:09:42,761 - It's not meth, shithead. 1371 01:09:42,845 --> 01:09:44,971 I told you, I brew my own gasoline. 1372 01:09:45,055 --> 01:09:48,225 Jesus, if you don't believe me, look for yourself. 1373 01:09:55,858 --> 01:09:57,443 - What the hell is this? 1374 01:09:58,695 --> 01:10:01,197 Sperm cells. 1375 01:10:01,280 --> 01:10:04,325 They travel at about 100 million miles an hour 1376 01:10:04,409 --> 01:10:05,743 racing to the egg, 1377 01:10:05,827 --> 01:10:07,578 to the finish line. 1378 01:10:08,496 --> 01:10:10,915 It's like the Fallopian Tube 500 in there. 1379 01:10:12,166 --> 01:10:17,088 You know, if I could just catch that energy in a bottle. 1380 01:10:18,756 --> 01:10:21,134 - So wait, is, is this your- 1381 01:10:21,217 --> 01:10:22,844 - Pancake batter? 1382 01:10:22,927 --> 01:10:25,430 That's right. - Oh my god. 1383 01:10:25,513 --> 01:10:27,014 - Me and Betty like to have our fun, 1384 01:10:27,098 --> 01:10:30,351 but, uh, I don't like to waste anything. 1385 01:10:30,435 --> 01:10:34,188 - So you turn your spunk into gasoline? 1386 01:10:34,272 --> 01:10:35,356 - What do you think powers 1387 01:10:35,440 --> 01:10:37,525 the orgasm-mobile, Broccoli Teeth? 1388 01:10:37,608 --> 01:10:40,027 I didn't fill it up with Shell unleaded. 1389 01:10:40,111 --> 01:10:41,195 - What? 1390 01:10:41,279 --> 01:10:42,697 But, but that, that's impossible. 1391 01:10:42,780 --> 01:10:44,657 The sperm would die! 1392 01:10:44,741 --> 01:10:48,035 - No shit, genius, that's why I freeze it. 1393 01:10:48,119 --> 01:10:50,121 You ever heard of frozen sperm? 1394 01:10:50,204 --> 01:10:54,125 Keeps those pollywogs alive forever. 1395 01:10:54,208 --> 01:10:55,710 Until finally you defrost 'em, 1396 01:10:55,793 --> 01:10:58,463 and then they, they start squiggling around like you, 1397 01:10:58,546 --> 01:11:01,382 like you just squirted 'em out fresh. 1398 01:11:09,932 --> 01:11:11,267 What the hell? 1399 01:11:15,021 --> 01:11:16,063 My ice cream. 1400 01:11:18,399 --> 01:11:20,443 No wonder his breath smelled like a, 1401 01:11:22,195 --> 01:11:24,197 a George Michael youth camp. 1402 01:11:25,490 --> 01:11:26,449 - What if I blow it? - Come on, Bob. 1403 01:11:26,532 --> 01:11:27,784 You can do this. - Yeah. 1404 01:11:27,867 --> 01:11:29,076 Of course, you would say that. 1405 01:11:29,160 --> 01:11:30,328 But what if I can't? What if I can't do it? 1406 01:11:30,411 --> 01:11:31,787 What if I blow it? 1407 01:11:31,871 --> 01:11:32,830 - You're not gonna blow it. 1408 01:11:32,914 --> 01:11:33,831 Hey, hey. - I could blow it. 1409 01:11:33,915 --> 01:11:35,583 - Hey, hey, Maxine picked you, 1410 01:11:35,666 --> 01:11:37,502 because she knows you're the best. 1411 01:11:40,671 --> 01:11:42,173 - Thanks, Holly, look, I couldn't have done 1412 01:11:42,256 --> 01:11:43,382 any of this without you. 1413 01:11:43,466 --> 01:11:45,593 Seriously, thanks, Holly. 1414 01:11:47,720 --> 01:11:49,847 - Good luck. - Thanks. 1415 01:11:49,931 --> 01:11:51,849 - Um, I'm meeting a friend for drinks 1416 01:11:51,933 --> 01:11:54,519 later at Rummy's if you wanna come. 1417 01:11:55,603 --> 01:11:57,480 We'll celebrate. - Yeah, we'll celebrate, 1418 01:11:57,563 --> 01:11:59,440 'cause great. - Yeah. 1419 01:11:59,524 --> 01:12:01,609 - At Rummy's, yeah, for sure. - Yeah. 1420 01:12:01,692 --> 01:12:03,361 Okay, go, go, go. - Oh, I gotta, yeah, yeah. 1421 01:12:03,444 --> 01:12:05,822 Go. 1422 01:12:14,247 --> 01:12:17,875 My honored guests and esteemed colleagues, 1423 01:12:18,751 --> 01:12:20,545 it is my pleasure to be here today. 1424 01:12:23,381 --> 01:12:25,383 As you know, the global appetite 1425 01:12:25,466 --> 01:12:29,387 for world-class car racing is growing day by day. 1426 01:12:30,388 --> 01:12:33,391 Our vision at Raw Image is your vision, 1427 01:12:34,517 --> 01:12:37,603 to bring modernized, state-of-the-art racetracks 1428 01:12:38,437 --> 01:12:42,650 to that motherfucker right there! 1429 01:12:42,733 --> 01:12:43,985 - I'm a motherfucker? 1430 01:12:44,819 --> 01:12:45,987 You're a motherfucker! 1431 01:12:46,070 --> 01:12:48,072 - That's the fucker that stole my fiance! 1432 01:12:48,155 --> 01:12:49,740 - Then I'm a fiance fucker! - Oh, shit! 1433 01:12:49,824 --> 01:12:51,659 - Fucker! - I'm a fiance fucker! 1434 01:12:51,742 --> 01:12:53,160 And bring your mother, I will fuck her too! 1435 01:12:53,244 --> 01:12:54,620 Oh, shit! 1436 01:12:58,666 --> 01:13:02,086 - You son of a bitch! 1437 01:13:02,253 --> 01:13:03,504 Oh, I'm gonna kill you! 1438 01:13:03,588 --> 01:13:05,715 - Son of a bitch, get off me, you hooker! 1439 01:13:05,798 --> 01:13:07,216 Bitch slap, man, you bitch! 1440 01:13:07,300 --> 01:13:08,801 Aye, you hit me! 1441 01:13:09,677 --> 01:13:10,845 - Oh my god. 1442 01:13:13,097 --> 01:13:16,017 I totally fucked this whole thing up completely. 1443 01:13:16,100 --> 01:13:17,685 Maxine is gonna be so pissed at me. 1444 01:13:17,977 --> 01:13:18,978 Shit. 1445 01:13:19,854 --> 01:13:21,147 - How could you know, Bob? 1446 01:13:21,230 --> 01:13:24,775 I mean, I would've done the same thing. 1447 01:13:26,277 --> 01:13:27,945 - Yeah, exactly, right? 1448 01:13:28,029 --> 01:13:29,322 You, you, you, think of it, 1449 01:13:29,405 --> 01:13:31,407 you came face to face with a broad 1450 01:13:31,490 --> 01:13:33,075 who stole Tim away from you. 1451 01:13:36,078 --> 01:13:37,330 - Well, um, 1452 01:13:38,289 --> 01:13:42,501 since we're talking about bad news here, um, 1453 01:13:43,628 --> 01:13:45,713 Tim and I broke up 1454 01:13:47,089 --> 01:13:48,174 a few months ago. 1455 01:13:51,677 --> 01:13:52,678 - Ugh. 1456 01:13:54,513 --> 01:13:57,141 I'm such an idiot. 1457 01:13:57,224 --> 01:13:58,559 A few months ago? 1458 01:13:58,643 --> 01:13:59,977 How did I not know? 1459 01:14:00,061 --> 01:14:03,481 - I, you were going through your own stuff, 1460 01:14:03,564 --> 01:14:05,524 and I don't know, I didn't wanna... 1461 01:14:07,276 --> 01:14:08,945 - Hey, come here. 1462 01:14:11,322 --> 01:14:14,116 Sorry. - It's okay. 1463 01:14:16,911 --> 01:14:19,872 - I'm such a selfish prick. 1464 01:14:19,956 --> 01:14:22,416 I've been in my own little world and I, I should've asked. 1465 01:14:22,500 --> 01:14:25,044 I should've... - Hey, it's okay. 1466 01:14:25,753 --> 01:14:27,672 I guess it was coming for a while. 1467 01:14:27,755 --> 01:14:28,965 You know, we were fighting, 1468 01:14:29,048 --> 01:14:31,717 and somehow he always made me feel like 1469 01:14:31,801 --> 01:14:33,469 I wasn't smart enough for him. 1470 01:14:34,178 --> 01:14:35,888 - You're not smart enough? 1471 01:14:35,972 --> 01:14:38,140 Holly McCarthy, not smart enough? 1472 01:14:39,100 --> 01:14:40,393 You work with me, don't you? 1473 01:14:40,476 --> 01:14:43,020 Gotta be pretty smart. 1474 01:14:43,104 --> 01:14:45,314 Actually, I... 1475 01:14:52,488 --> 01:14:53,948 Let's see how smart you are. 1476 01:15:03,207 --> 01:15:04,208 Ah. Oh. 1477 01:15:13,634 --> 01:15:15,386 See, you're plenty smart. 1478 01:15:15,469 --> 01:15:18,305 You're smart enough to get away from Tim. 1479 01:15:22,059 --> 01:15:23,561 Oh, you know what? 1480 01:15:25,604 --> 01:15:27,064 I don't need this anymore. 1481 01:15:28,482 --> 01:15:29,734 You take it. 1482 01:15:29,817 --> 01:15:31,360 You know, here. 1483 01:15:34,947 --> 01:15:35,948 It's yours. 1484 01:15:39,160 --> 01:15:40,119 A toast. 1485 01:15:43,622 --> 01:15:44,874 To new beginnings. 1486 01:15:46,542 --> 01:15:49,545 To new beginnings. 1487 01:16:04,268 --> 01:16:06,479 - Wow, look how much people love you. 1488 01:16:06,562 --> 01:16:08,272 Look at all this love. 1489 01:16:08,355 --> 01:16:10,357 Who got you all this stuff? 1490 01:16:10,441 --> 01:16:11,275 - I did. 1491 01:16:11,358 --> 01:16:13,903 Oh. 1492 01:16:13,986 --> 01:16:16,030 - Is this how you treat your clients? 1493 01:16:16,822 --> 01:16:18,407 By sending a date rapist? 1494 01:16:18,491 --> 01:16:19,825 - Oh, it wasn't a date rapist, honey. 1495 01:16:19,909 --> 01:16:21,535 It was an assault. 1496 01:16:21,619 --> 01:16:22,870 - What do you think a rapist is? 1497 01:16:22,953 --> 01:16:23,746 It's an assault. 1498 01:16:23,829 --> 01:16:25,247 And he called me a fucker! 1499 01:16:25,331 --> 01:16:26,457 - What can I do? 1500 01:16:26,540 --> 01:16:29,418 What can we do to make this right? 1501 01:16:29,502 --> 01:16:32,713 - Where I come from, we still believe in honor. 1502 01:16:32,797 --> 01:16:35,883 If the rapist comes forward and proves himself worthy, 1503 01:16:35,966 --> 01:16:37,968 I might show leniency. 1504 01:16:38,052 --> 01:16:39,637 - Of course, he will, no question. 1505 01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:41,847 He's one of our best rapist, I mean- 1506 01:16:41,931 --> 01:16:46,560 - I will send Bob over there tomorrow to heal this wound. 1507 01:16:46,644 --> 01:16:48,562 - No, you won't send him here. 1508 01:16:48,646 --> 01:16:51,482 Bob will show up and prove his honor 1509 01:16:51,565 --> 01:16:53,025 where real men prove it, 1510 01:16:53,108 --> 01:16:54,401 at the racetrack! 1511 01:16:54,485 --> 01:16:56,403 And, Doctor, get me a new bed, please! 1512 01:16:56,487 --> 01:16:58,197 I feel like I'm breakdancing! 1513 01:16:58,280 --> 01:17:00,324 I just sent you 50,000. 1514 01:17:00,407 --> 01:17:01,867 - Are those rupees? 1515 01:17:01,951 --> 01:17:03,244 - Yes, they're rupees. 1516 01:17:03,327 --> 01:17:05,746 That's a lot of money, in India. 1517 01:17:05,830 --> 01:17:06,622 Get me a bed. 1518 01:17:14,713 --> 01:17:16,799 - Why have I never kissed you before? 1519 01:17:17,675 --> 01:17:20,553 - Well, uh, two reasons. 1520 01:17:21,220 --> 01:17:22,138 Tim. 1521 01:17:22,221 --> 01:17:23,097 - Mhmm. 1522 01:17:25,349 --> 01:17:27,101 - Terri. - Oh. 1523 01:17:28,060 --> 01:17:30,104 - Your fiance, remember? - I actually forgot 1524 01:17:30,187 --> 01:17:31,397 about her for a second. - Hmm. 1525 01:17:31,480 --> 01:17:32,940 - Yeah. 1526 01:17:34,859 --> 01:17:36,318 Can I ask you a question? 1527 01:17:38,362 --> 01:17:41,782 Would you wanna go fly fishing with me sometime? 1528 01:17:43,576 --> 01:17:46,829 - I'd love that, Bob. - You would? 1529 01:17:46,912 --> 01:17:48,873 Yeah? Okay. - Yeah. 1530 01:17:48,956 --> 01:17:51,292 - Well, well, looks like I got here just in time. 1531 01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:53,377 Sarah. 1532 01:17:53,460 --> 01:17:55,838 Hey, hi, oh, okay, this is Bob. 1533 01:17:55,921 --> 01:17:58,757 - Oh, I know who he is. - Oh. 1534 01:17:59,717 --> 01:18:00,509 Really? 1535 01:18:00,593 --> 01:18:03,053 - Yeah, we, um, 1536 01:18:03,137 --> 01:18:05,848 met at a function recently, right? 1537 01:18:05,931 --> 01:18:07,641 - Oh, right. 1538 01:18:07,725 --> 01:18:10,311 Yeah, you are the sleazy lowlife who thinks all women 1539 01:18:10,394 --> 01:18:12,188 are idiots and just put on this Earth 1540 01:18:12,271 --> 01:18:14,982 so that guys like you can get their rocks off. 1541 01:18:15,065 --> 01:18:16,734 - Sarah, no, no. 1542 01:18:16,817 --> 01:18:19,612 This is Bob Erdman, he's my boss. 1543 01:18:19,695 --> 01:18:23,240 - He's a pervert who hits on anything that moves. 1544 01:18:25,075 --> 01:18:27,161 - No, I'm sorry, you have the wrong guy. 1545 01:18:27,244 --> 01:18:28,245 - Really? 1546 01:18:29,330 --> 01:18:30,789 Has he asked you to go fly fishing with him yet? 1547 01:18:30,873 --> 01:18:33,334 In the mountains, just the two of you? 1548 01:18:35,127 --> 01:18:36,128 - Bob? 1549 01:18:37,296 --> 01:18:39,423 - Look, I could explain. 1550 01:18:39,506 --> 01:18:40,382 I was planning- 1551 01:18:40,466 --> 01:18:43,177 - What were you planning, Bob? 1552 01:18:43,260 --> 01:18:44,637 - To go fly fishing with you. 1553 01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:46,472 I want that, that was all me, what? 1554 01:18:46,555 --> 01:18:47,681 Really? I don't believe it. 1555 01:18:47,765 --> 01:18:51,018 - Bob, were you just trying to use me? 1556 01:18:51,101 --> 01:18:52,228 - No, Holly, I swear to- 1557 01:18:52,311 --> 01:18:54,688 - Has he given you a Rubik's Cube yet? 1558 01:18:55,648 --> 01:18:56,774 - It's not what you think. 1559 01:18:56,857 --> 01:18:59,610 - Oh, oh, oh, have you met the wingman? 1560 01:18:59,693 --> 01:19:01,987 Okay, he should be popping up here any second. 1561 01:19:02,071 --> 01:19:04,782 Now this guy, this guy, you gotta see to believe. 1562 01:19:04,865 --> 01:19:07,493 You know, he can fart people's names. 1563 01:19:11,246 --> 01:19:15,084 - You know, I felt bad for you all these months 1564 01:19:15,167 --> 01:19:16,543 watching your heart break. 1565 01:19:16,627 --> 01:19:19,046 You seemed like a sincere guy 1566 01:19:19,129 --> 01:19:20,923 who was going through a lot of pain. 1567 01:19:21,006 --> 01:19:22,883 A guy who I thought was real 1568 01:19:22,967 --> 01:19:25,177 and who didn't deserve being dumped. 1569 01:19:25,260 --> 01:19:26,845 But Terri was smart. 1570 01:19:29,306 --> 01:19:32,768 Losing you was the best thing she could've done for herself. 1571 01:19:36,689 --> 01:19:39,149 You can take your stupid cube. 1572 01:19:40,109 --> 01:19:42,027 Why don't you put it on your fly line 1573 01:19:42,111 --> 01:19:44,238 and go fishing for someone else? 1574 01:19:44,321 --> 01:19:45,739 - No. 1575 01:19:45,823 --> 01:19:47,408 Holly! - Let's go, Sarah. 1576 01:19:49,076 --> 01:19:52,287 Fly fishing? You can do so much better. 1577 01:19:57,376 --> 01:20:00,337 - Oh my god, what is this strange and colorful cube thingy? 1578 01:20:00,421 --> 01:20:03,424 Is this the new iPhone 97? 1579 01:20:04,341 --> 01:20:05,259 - No. 1580 01:20:08,345 --> 01:20:11,098 This is my fucked up life. 1581 01:20:14,018 --> 01:20:14,977 - Excuse me for a second. 1582 01:20:15,060 --> 01:20:16,437 Okay, Bobby, holy crap. 1583 01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:18,856 I got the 4-1-1 on your mystery wingman. 1584 01:20:18,939 --> 01:20:20,691 - Oh, dude, no, that's old news now. 1585 01:20:20,774 --> 01:20:22,192 He's fucking done. 1586 01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:25,779 - Yeah, well good, because it turns out Mr. Wingman 1587 01:20:25,863 --> 01:20:27,364 was a real wingman. 1588 01:20:27,740 --> 01:20:28,323 - What? 1589 01:20:28,449 --> 01:20:31,285 - So dig this, he went over on a covert operation 1590 01:20:31,368 --> 01:20:32,870 over in Afghanistan or somewhere, 1591 01:20:32,953 --> 01:20:36,123 and things went wrong, real wrong. 1592 01:20:36,206 --> 01:20:37,583 - Whoa, whoa, back up. 1593 01:20:37,666 --> 01:20:40,377 Turk is a real pilot? - Was a real pilot. 1594 01:20:40,461 --> 01:20:42,254 He just lost his fighter. 1595 01:20:42,338 --> 01:20:44,798 There's only been one jet shot down in the region ever, 1596 01:20:44,882 --> 01:20:46,592 and guess who was supposed to be protecting him? 1597 01:20:46,675 --> 01:20:50,012 Turk fucking Thompson, your wingman. 1598 01:20:50,095 --> 01:20:51,722 - No shit. 1599 01:20:52,389 --> 01:20:53,807 - But here's the best part. 1600 01:20:53,891 --> 01:20:56,477 They've never found the pilot, he's MIA. 1601 01:20:57,936 --> 01:20:59,146 - So what are you saying? 1602 01:20:59,229 --> 01:21:00,481 They think he's still alive. 1603 01:21:00,564 --> 01:21:03,233 Holed up in some shitty foreign prison. 1604 01:21:03,317 --> 01:21:04,777 That son of a bitch, Thompson, 1605 01:21:04,860 --> 01:21:07,321 all that talk about completing the mission, 1606 01:21:07,404 --> 01:21:09,531 and he never even brought his own man back home. 1607 01:21:09,615 --> 01:21:10,741 What a jackass. 1608 01:21:11,992 --> 01:21:13,994 - No, Skip, you got it wrong. 1609 01:21:14,078 --> 01:21:15,412 I'm the jackass. 1610 01:21:16,497 --> 01:21:18,457 Take me to the Pink Taboo. 1611 01:21:18,540 --> 01:21:21,418 ♪ When I get to drinking ♪ 1612 01:21:21,502 --> 01:21:24,922 ♪ That's when I get to thinking ♪ 1613 01:21:25,005 --> 01:21:28,717 ♪ It's 'cause I ain't been thinking that I drink ♪ 1614 01:21:28,801 --> 01:21:29,760 - I fucked up. 1615 01:21:30,511 --> 01:21:32,012 It was me who trained Eddie. 1616 01:21:32,096 --> 01:21:35,015 But Eddie, he was a loose cannon. 1617 01:21:35,099 --> 01:21:37,559 That night, he didn't follow the pattern. 1618 01:21:38,393 --> 01:21:40,687 He compromised a formation and bang. 1619 01:21:42,898 --> 01:21:45,150 That's when Riker took the hit. 1620 01:21:45,234 --> 01:21:46,944 - So it wasn't your fault. 1621 01:21:47,027 --> 01:21:49,405 - Try telling that to Riker's family. 1622 01:21:54,827 --> 01:21:58,956 - So you trained Eddie as a wingman, not a wingman. 1623 01:21:59,039 --> 01:22:00,874 - Yeah, that's right. 1624 01:22:01,750 --> 01:22:03,210 - It's been 20 years, Turk, 1625 01:22:03,293 --> 01:22:05,212 and what have you been doing this whole time? 1626 01:22:05,295 --> 01:22:08,465 - Hanging out in places like this, drinking, 1627 01:22:11,969 --> 01:22:13,887 trying to forget Scott Riker. 1628 01:22:15,222 --> 01:22:17,349 But everywhere I look, I see his face. 1629 01:22:23,981 --> 01:22:27,526 I see his face on dumb shits like you, 1630 01:22:28,360 --> 01:22:30,779 guys that can't complete their missions, 1631 01:22:31,738 --> 01:22:33,157 who can't get laid. 1632 01:22:34,408 --> 01:22:37,452 I'm a wingman, that's what I do. 1633 01:22:38,454 --> 01:22:40,080 And I figure if I, 1634 01:22:40,164 --> 01:22:41,957 I save up enough dollars, 1635 01:22:43,792 --> 01:22:45,878 one day I could go back over there and 1636 01:22:50,841 --> 01:22:52,092 bring Scott Riker home. 1637 01:22:53,927 --> 01:22:55,721 - You really are a wingman. 1638 01:22:55,804 --> 01:22:57,639 Hell yeah, I am! 1639 01:22:57,723 --> 01:22:59,725 And, tonight, we're gonna crack your nuts 1640 01:22:59,808 --> 01:23:02,644 and get you laid! 1641 01:23:03,687 --> 01:23:05,564 - Look, thanks, Turk. 1642 01:23:05,647 --> 01:23:06,398 But... 1643 01:23:08,692 --> 01:23:10,611 Here's the rest of what I owe you. 1644 01:23:11,403 --> 01:23:13,238 I'm sorry for all that's happened and 1645 01:23:14,031 --> 01:23:15,782 good luck with everything. 1646 01:23:15,866 --> 01:23:17,910 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. 1647 01:23:17,993 --> 01:23:20,162 You still gotta get your girl back. 1648 01:23:20,245 --> 01:23:23,790 - No, I just came to apologize for what I said. 1649 01:23:24,208 --> 01:23:25,792 The mission's over, Wingman. 1650 01:23:27,920 --> 01:23:29,421 - Are you cereal? 1651 01:23:30,255 --> 01:23:31,256 - Yeah. 1652 01:23:33,383 --> 01:23:34,927 I am. 1653 01:23:35,010 --> 01:23:38,222 Maybe it's time to let the past go and move on. 1654 01:23:39,181 --> 01:23:40,599 ♪ Maybe ♪ 1655 01:23:40,682 --> 01:23:45,145 ♪ Then that'll stop you drinking, you old drunk ♪ 1656 01:23:45,229 --> 01:23:47,314 ♪ Maybe not ♪ 1657 01:23:47,397 --> 01:23:52,069 ♪ Blinkin', stinkin', drink, drank, drunk ♪ 1658 01:23:54,571 --> 01:23:56,490 - You thinking about leaving town? 1659 01:23:57,741 --> 01:23:59,201 Well, you probably should. 1660 01:24:00,410 --> 01:24:01,745 'Cause word on the street 1661 01:24:01,828 --> 01:24:04,289 is you failed in your mission last night, Fungus Face. 1662 01:24:07,376 --> 01:24:11,505 - How'd you find out so fast, Fart Festival Lips? 1663 01:24:11,588 --> 01:24:13,757 - News in our business travels fast. 1664 01:24:14,633 --> 01:24:15,842 It's a crazy world. 1665 01:24:15,926 --> 01:24:18,512 - Crazy like Forest Whitaker's left eye, 1666 01:24:19,763 --> 01:24:21,014 but I'll be all right. 1667 01:24:22,808 --> 01:24:24,810 - You lost your touch, Turk. 1668 01:24:24,893 --> 01:24:27,145 Maybe it's time you get out, hm? 1669 01:24:27,229 --> 01:24:29,731 - Like a retard in a bouncy house, 1670 01:24:30,941 --> 01:24:32,442 there is no getting out. 1671 01:24:33,610 --> 01:24:35,779 - You're like an old lady's tit, 1672 01:24:35,862 --> 01:24:37,823 all dried up just hanging around. 1673 01:24:39,032 --> 01:24:40,367 - What's to stop me right now 1674 01:24:40,450 --> 01:24:44,037 from shoving a giant pretzel so far up your ass 1675 01:24:44,121 --> 01:24:46,164 you think you have fallopian tubes? 1676 01:24:46,957 --> 01:24:48,166 - Because unlike you, 1677 01:24:49,126 --> 01:24:53,005 I have an employer who currently pays me. 1678 01:25:14,901 --> 01:25:16,653 - Look, Holly, Bob was desperate. 1679 01:25:16,737 --> 01:25:17,904 You saw him. 1680 01:25:17,988 --> 01:25:21,325 - Hiring a wingman is more than desperate. 1681 01:25:21,408 --> 01:25:23,744 I didn't think he'd really do it. 1682 01:25:23,827 --> 01:25:25,662 Why didn't you tell me, Skip? 1683 01:25:25,746 --> 01:25:26,955 - He was crushed, Holly. 1684 01:25:27,039 --> 01:25:28,749 His fiance left a week before the wedding. 1685 01:25:28,832 --> 01:25:29,958 What would you have done? 1686 01:25:30,042 --> 01:25:31,251 - Where is he? 1687 01:25:33,545 --> 01:25:35,380 Where is that son of a bitch? 1688 01:25:35,464 --> 01:25:38,258 - Who the hell are you? - Who the hell are you? 1689 01:25:38,342 --> 01:25:41,637 - Ah, shit, uh, this is, this is the wingman. 1690 01:25:51,521 --> 01:25:52,981 - Everyone out! 1691 01:25:55,984 --> 01:25:57,194 Now! 1692 01:26:07,287 --> 01:26:11,792 Okay, we are gonna have a little talk. 1693 01:26:11,875 --> 01:26:12,876 Me and you. 1694 01:26:15,128 --> 01:26:17,047 I wanna know everything. 1695 01:26:20,258 --> 01:26:21,385 Everything! 1696 01:26:25,722 --> 01:26:28,308 - My dear friends, welcome. 1697 01:26:28,392 --> 01:26:29,810 You know why you're here, 1698 01:26:29,893 --> 01:26:32,145 because you're all part of my inner circle. 1699 01:26:32,229 --> 01:26:33,605 Mmm! 1700 01:26:33,688 --> 01:26:37,484 - You see, in my culture, business is important, 1701 01:26:37,567 --> 01:26:41,822 but not as important as honor and respect. 1702 01:26:43,115 --> 01:26:45,450 My multi-billion dollar vision 1703 01:26:45,534 --> 01:26:49,204 for car racing's future is here today. 1704 01:26:50,163 --> 01:26:52,874 And it must be earned, it must be won. 1705 01:26:55,919 --> 01:26:58,296 - Let the race begin, motherbitches! 1706 01:26:58,380 --> 01:26:59,214 - Woo! - Yeah! 1707 01:27:04,928 --> 01:27:07,013 - And that's all of it. 1708 01:27:07,931 --> 01:27:10,016 I put the dumb fuck up to everything. 1709 01:27:11,601 --> 01:27:13,478 Except for the fly fishing part, 1710 01:27:13,562 --> 01:27:15,063 that was all him. 1711 01:27:16,356 --> 01:27:18,650 - That was the part I love. 1712 01:27:36,668 --> 01:27:41,256 - Look, you seem like a nice girl, hm? 1713 01:27:41,339 --> 01:27:45,218 Why don't you find somebody that's not so messed up? 1714 01:27:45,302 --> 01:27:46,386 I can help you. 1715 01:27:47,387 --> 01:27:50,015 What's your type? What are you, uh, Hindu? 1716 01:27:50,098 --> 01:27:51,433 Catholic? 1717 01:27:51,516 --> 01:27:52,517 - Quaker. 1718 01:27:55,645 --> 01:27:57,230 - Are you cereal? 1719 01:27:57,314 --> 01:27:59,816 - Excuse me. - Forget it. 1720 01:28:00,817 --> 01:28:02,611 He fired me. It's over. 1721 01:28:02,694 --> 01:28:04,321 - Mission failed? 1722 01:28:05,322 --> 01:28:07,032 - Mission aborted. 1723 01:28:16,750 --> 01:28:18,001 - See you later, toots. 1724 01:28:21,630 --> 01:28:23,590 Daddy's gotta ride. 1725 01:28:37,354 --> 01:28:38,605 Hey! 1726 01:28:38,688 --> 01:28:40,941 Hey, pal, you dropped something. 1727 01:28:41,024 --> 01:28:43,235 - You keep it, you need it more than me. 1728 01:28:46,404 --> 01:28:48,740 You never leave a man behind, Wingman. 1729 01:28:49,491 --> 01:28:51,076 And I'm fucking cereal. 1730 01:28:52,118 --> 01:28:53,453 - Wait, wait, wait, wait! 1731 01:29:02,045 --> 01:29:04,673 - Please, choose your vehicle. 1732 01:29:05,507 --> 01:29:06,967 - No, I don't, I don't know how to race a car. 1733 01:29:07,050 --> 01:29:07,926 Let's just... 1734 01:29:08,301 --> 01:29:09,469 - Beat me in the race 1735 01:29:09,928 --> 01:29:11,137 and I'll sign the deal. 1736 01:29:11,221 --> 01:29:12,556 That's what you want, isn't it? 1737 01:29:12,639 --> 01:29:14,140 - Yeah, uh. 1738 01:29:19,437 --> 01:29:20,397 I'll tell you what, 1739 01:29:21,398 --> 01:29:23,817 since we're going for all the marbles here, 1740 01:29:23,900 --> 01:29:25,819 why don't you put something on the line? 1741 01:29:25,902 --> 01:29:28,196 Make it a little more worth my while, huh? 1742 01:29:28,822 --> 01:29:29,906 - There's honor in that. 1743 01:29:29,990 --> 01:29:30,949 More money? 1744 01:29:31,032 --> 01:29:33,702 - No, I'm thinking, Terri. 1745 01:29:34,160 --> 01:29:35,954 - What do you mean you're thinking Terri? 1746 01:29:36,037 --> 01:29:39,916 - Well, if I win, 1747 01:29:40,000 --> 01:29:42,043 you disappear, okay? 1748 01:29:42,127 --> 01:29:44,254 You break up with her, you leave, 1749 01:29:44,337 --> 01:29:46,339 and you let me have a fighting chance 1750 01:29:46,423 --> 01:29:47,924 of getting my girl back. 1751 01:29:51,636 --> 01:29:52,679 - Sure, that sounds great. 1752 01:29:52,762 --> 01:29:54,180 Absolutely, no problem. 1753 01:29:54,264 --> 01:29:55,640 Yes, yeah, 1754 01:29:55,724 --> 01:29:57,851 'cause you have no bloody chance in hell to beat me. 1755 01:29:57,976 --> 01:30:01,104 So, please, select your vehicle. 1756 01:30:01,187 --> 01:30:02,105 - Uh, 1757 01:30:03,231 --> 01:30:03,982 I want- 1758 01:30:07,652 --> 01:30:08,570 That one. 1759 01:30:10,488 --> 01:30:11,615 - That one? - Yeah. 1760 01:30:11,698 --> 01:30:13,742 ♪ Wingman ♪ 1761 01:30:13,825 --> 01:30:15,869 - An old hot rod? - Yeah. 1762 01:30:15,952 --> 01:30:18,371 You might as well drive a hot dog. 1763 01:30:18,455 --> 01:30:20,916 You think a car made in 1932 1764 01:30:20,999 --> 01:30:23,835 is going to beat a car with all the newest technology? 1765 01:30:23,919 --> 01:30:25,920 - I don't know, but I want that one. 1766 01:30:26,004 --> 01:30:27,213 Okay, that's my car. 1767 01:30:27,297 --> 01:30:28,381 - Are you serious? 1768 01:30:28,465 --> 01:30:30,467 - Oh, I'm cereal. 1769 01:30:30,550 --> 01:30:32,302 - Be all the cereals you want. 1770 01:30:32,385 --> 01:30:34,554 Cocoa Puffs, Froot Loops, Frosted Flakes. 1771 01:30:34,638 --> 01:30:35,889 You are all of them. 1772 01:30:35,972 --> 01:30:37,641 Tony the Tiger, you're a Honeycomb. 1773 01:30:37,724 --> 01:30:38,767 - Okay. 1774 01:30:38,850 --> 01:30:40,936 - You are cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. 1775 01:30:41,019 --> 01:30:42,479 Follow my nose! 1776 01:30:42,562 --> 01:30:46,399 Is it? Is there a bathroom here somewhere? 1777 01:30:51,154 --> 01:30:52,364 - What the hell are you doing? 1778 01:30:52,447 --> 01:30:53,907 How'd you even find me? 1779 01:30:53,990 --> 01:30:57,369 - Look, I almost gave up on you, Dildo Tits. 1780 01:30:57,452 --> 01:31:00,372 But a true wingman never gives up on his mission. 1781 01:31:00,455 --> 01:31:03,083 Now it's time for you to make like Santa 1782 01:31:03,166 --> 01:31:06,294 and show the world you got a giant sack. 1783 01:31:07,796 --> 01:31:08,880 Jump in. 1784 01:31:17,847 --> 01:31:20,016 Now, 1785 01:31:20,100 --> 01:31:23,520 I didn't let any man ever ride with Betty before. 1786 01:31:24,187 --> 01:31:25,939 If you're gonna win this race, 1787 01:31:26,022 --> 01:31:27,691 you're gonna need the best motivation 1788 01:31:27,774 --> 01:31:29,818 on God's good, green Earth. 1789 01:31:34,280 --> 01:31:36,866 Wow. 1790 01:31:36,950 --> 01:31:37,951 - POP. 1791 01:31:42,288 --> 01:31:43,957 - Power of the pussy. 1792 01:31:44,040 --> 01:31:45,792 - Binjo. 1793 01:31:55,385 --> 01:31:58,596 - You're going down, bitch. 1794 01:32:00,306 --> 01:32:03,435 Woo-hoo! 1795 01:32:05,186 --> 01:32:08,773 ♪ Gonna ride my hot rod like an Arizona whore ♪ 1796 01:32:13,069 --> 01:32:17,198 - Turk, Turk, I don't know what to do! 1797 01:32:17,282 --> 01:32:19,617 - Stay focused, Erdman, you got this! 1798 01:32:19,701 --> 01:32:20,827 ♪ Got the need for speed ♪ 1799 01:32:20,910 --> 01:32:25,040 ♪ Take the foot up off the brake ♪ 1800 01:32:25,123 --> 01:32:26,958 - Hello, hello, is somebody here? 1801 01:32:27,041 --> 01:32:28,626 ♪ First comes gear one ♪ 1802 01:32:28,710 --> 01:32:30,462 ♪ Then comes gear two ♪ 1803 01:32:30,545 --> 01:32:31,671 ♪ Shift it into third ♪ 1804 01:32:31,755 --> 01:32:33,506 - Whoa! Hey! 1805 01:32:33,590 --> 01:32:36,217 - We're moving now! Woo-hoo! 1806 01:32:36,301 --> 01:32:37,886 - Turk, he's going too fast! 1807 01:32:37,969 --> 01:32:39,137 - Just breathe, Erdman. 1808 01:32:39,220 --> 01:32:40,805 Listen to my voice. 1809 01:32:40,889 --> 01:32:42,348 - Gotcha. - Straighten her out. 1810 01:32:46,936 --> 01:32:51,441 - Now, punch it like a drunk stepfather teaching his kids 1811 01:32:51,524 --> 01:32:55,195 that the world ain't all horses and clowns! 1812 01:32:56,529 --> 01:32:57,572 - Yeah-he-he-he-ah! 1813 01:33:05,538 --> 01:33:07,207 No! 1814 01:33:07,290 --> 01:33:09,959 - Next time don't bring a Tonka toy to a turbo party! 1815 01:33:10,043 --> 01:33:11,461 - I like my men hairy. 1816 01:33:11,544 --> 01:33:14,881 ♪ Wingman ♪ 1817 01:33:14,964 --> 01:33:15,882 - He passed me, Turk! 1818 01:33:15,965 --> 01:33:17,050 - Take it to the left. 1819 01:33:17,133 --> 01:33:18,510 - What do I do? 1820 01:33:18,593 --> 01:33:20,553 - And then, slide her up the middle and try to get home 1821 01:33:20,637 --> 01:33:22,138 before you go diarrhea. 1822 01:33:25,809 --> 01:33:27,060 - Oh, that felt good. 1823 01:33:28,937 --> 01:33:29,896 - Turk! 1824 01:33:29,979 --> 01:33:31,481 Turk, I don't know what to do, man! 1825 01:33:31,564 --> 01:33:35,401 - POP, baby. ♪ You gotta shoot your shot ♪ 1826 01:33:35,485 --> 01:33:36,694 - Power of the pussy. 1827 01:33:36,778 --> 01:33:38,863 - Talk dirty to her. 1828 01:33:38,947 --> 01:33:41,032 I showed you what to do. 1829 01:33:43,159 --> 01:33:46,746 - Yeah, that's right, my little licorice whip. 1830 01:33:46,830 --> 01:33:49,415 Ooh, you like when I fondle you like that? 1831 01:33:49,499 --> 01:33:51,709 Ooh, you're firmer than I thought. 1832 01:33:51,793 --> 01:33:54,254 Maybe I'll get one a little lower. 1833 01:33:54,337 --> 01:33:56,631 Oh, not that hole, hoo-hoo-hoo. 1834 01:33:56,714 --> 01:33:58,633 Let me get you a little wet, yeah. 1835 01:33:58,716 --> 01:34:00,510 You ready for me? 1836 01:34:00,593 --> 01:34:02,595 Mm, 'cause I'm ready for you. 1837 01:34:03,596 --> 01:34:04,305 Whoa! 1838 01:34:05,515 --> 01:34:06,683 Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 1839 01:34:06,766 --> 01:34:08,226 Koala! 1840 01:34:17,944 --> 01:34:19,946 - Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 1841 01:34:20,864 --> 01:34:21,948 We passed him! 1842 01:34:22,031 --> 01:34:24,409 I passed him, Turk, I'm gonna win! 1843 01:34:24,492 --> 01:34:28,121 - Drive like your mother's chasing you to boarding school! 1844 01:34:29,080 --> 01:34:29,831 Drive! 1845 01:34:32,083 --> 01:34:33,626 - I'm gonna win! 1846 01:34:33,710 --> 01:34:35,211 I'm gonna win! 1847 01:34:35,295 --> 01:34:36,212 I won! 1848 01:34:36,296 --> 01:34:37,297 We did it! 1849 01:34:38,006 --> 01:34:39,549 - Rubber tire's coming in hot! 1850 01:34:39,632 --> 01:34:44,846 Oh, tires! Oh, no! 1851 01:34:53,438 --> 01:34:55,523 - Welcome, come in. 1852 01:34:55,607 --> 01:34:56,482 We've been waiting for you. 1853 01:34:56,566 --> 01:34:59,277 Uh, am, am I in heaven? 1854 01:34:59,360 --> 01:35:02,447 Hell, you won, kid, 1855 01:35:02,530 --> 01:35:04,157 but you had a little accident. 1856 01:35:04,240 --> 01:35:05,408 You hit pretty hard. 1857 01:35:05,491 --> 01:35:06,993 - What? 1858 01:35:07,076 --> 01:35:08,912 What the hell is on my face, Turk? 1859 01:35:08,995 --> 01:35:10,914 - Picture a pug 1860 01:35:10,997 --> 01:35:14,250 that's been smacked in the face with a canoe paddle. 1861 01:35:14,334 --> 01:35:15,335 - What? 1862 01:35:17,462 --> 01:35:18,630 Oh! 1863 01:35:18,713 --> 01:35:20,506 Is that Betty? 1864 01:35:20,590 --> 01:35:21,591 Ow! What? 1865 01:35:22,592 --> 01:35:24,677 - Some of your teeth are cracked. 1866 01:35:24,761 --> 01:35:27,513 Betty's the only thing holding everything together. 1867 01:35:28,598 --> 01:35:30,516 It's time your victory speech, champ. 1868 01:35:34,604 --> 01:35:36,064 - Thank you, boob. 1869 01:35:36,147 --> 01:35:38,274 - Have you been getting lip injections? 1870 01:35:39,275 --> 01:35:41,361 - You won an incredible race. 1871 01:35:41,444 --> 01:35:43,696 You're quite a racist. 1872 01:35:46,157 --> 01:35:47,116 - There's something stuck in your lip. 1873 01:35:47,200 --> 01:35:48,326 - No. - Is that corn? 1874 01:35:48,409 --> 01:35:49,535 What is that? Let me get it. 1875 01:35:49,619 --> 01:35:51,371 What is that? 1876 01:35:51,454 --> 01:35:52,372 - No, no, no, no. 1877 01:35:52,497 --> 01:35:54,582 That's, 1878 01:35:54,666 --> 01:35:56,376 that's my clit. - What? 1879 01:35:56,459 --> 01:35:58,920 - Also, congratulations on winning 1880 01:35:59,003 --> 01:36:02,131 one of the most beautiful women in the world, Terri. 1881 01:36:03,132 --> 01:36:05,176 - What the hell is he talking about? 1882 01:36:05,259 --> 01:36:06,469 Bob? 1883 01:36:06,552 --> 01:36:07,887 - It's, um, 1884 01:36:08,554 --> 01:36:09,806 you know what? 1885 01:36:12,350 --> 01:36:14,686 Uh, look, 1886 01:36:15,520 --> 01:36:19,148 a few months ago, my life was in complete order. 1887 01:36:19,816 --> 01:36:22,986 Good job, gorgeous wife to be. 1888 01:36:23,820 --> 01:36:25,947 I thought I had everything figured out. 1889 01:36:27,532 --> 01:36:29,409 But then a good, good friend of mine 1890 01:36:29,492 --> 01:36:31,661 taught me that in the blink of an eye 1891 01:36:31,744 --> 01:36:34,372 your life can go into a tailspin and change. 1892 01:36:35,623 --> 01:36:38,584 And if you're not ready for it, you can lose everything, 1893 01:36:38,668 --> 01:36:41,713 and, more importantly, everyone that matters. 1894 01:36:43,798 --> 01:36:46,718 Terri, you're a great girl, 1895 01:36:46,801 --> 01:36:48,553 my little songbird. 1896 01:36:58,146 --> 01:37:02,191 But I see now that Terri left for a reason. 1897 01:37:02,275 --> 01:37:03,443 You see, in every relationship, 1898 01:37:03,526 --> 01:37:05,069 if you're not each other's wingman 1899 01:37:05,153 --> 01:37:08,656 or wingwoman, then who has your back? 1900 01:37:08,740 --> 01:37:11,034 Who helps you get through every damn day 1901 01:37:11,117 --> 01:37:13,119 avoiding those tailspins? 1902 01:37:14,203 --> 01:37:16,998 I can see now that I blew it. 1903 01:37:17,707 --> 01:37:18,958 I took my eye off the mission 1904 01:37:19,042 --> 01:37:21,419 and I wasn't that guy for you, Terri. 1905 01:37:23,129 --> 01:37:25,423 But I can see Kazzim makes you happy. 1906 01:37:27,717 --> 01:37:31,304 Hell, one more kiss for old time's sake? 1907 01:37:43,941 --> 01:37:48,321 With that being said, I did still win that race. 1908 01:37:48,404 --> 01:37:50,990 And, Kazzim, as a man of great honor, 1909 01:37:51,074 --> 01:37:55,203 I ask that you consider changing the prize. 1910 01:37:55,286 --> 01:37:57,705 - You won fair and square, whatever you want. 1911 01:37:58,498 --> 01:37:59,957 - Then for my prize, 1912 01:38:00,666 --> 01:38:02,919 I ask that you help my friend 1913 01:38:03,002 --> 01:38:07,590 locate Captain Scott Riker and bring him home. 1914 01:38:07,673 --> 01:38:08,925 - Consider it done. 1915 01:38:09,008 --> 01:38:11,886 Suck my saliva glands. 1916 01:38:11,969 --> 01:38:14,597 - A prize? - A wingman is born. 1917 01:38:14,680 --> 01:38:16,140 Fuck all you men! 1918 01:38:16,224 --> 01:38:19,102 Terri, come back, please, my little muffin top! 1919 01:38:19,185 --> 01:38:20,394 Terri! - Hey! 1920 01:38:21,354 --> 01:38:23,940 So you're the scumbag that hired Eddie. 1921 01:38:24,023 --> 01:38:25,525 - You see me as a scumbag? 1922 01:38:25,608 --> 01:38:27,193 - Where are you from? - India. 1923 01:38:27,276 --> 01:38:28,736 - What part? - Downtown. 1924 01:38:28,820 --> 01:38:30,363 - What street? - Elliot Road. 1925 01:38:30,446 --> 01:38:32,657 - What number? - 37. 1926 01:38:32,740 --> 01:38:35,243 - I'm watching you. - I watched you. 1927 01:38:35,326 --> 01:38:38,830 - I'm watching you even more. - Look at me watch you. 1928 01:38:38,913 --> 01:38:40,248 Watch. 1929 01:38:40,331 --> 01:38:41,624 Edward, let's go. 1930 01:38:43,292 --> 01:38:47,505 - Hey, this isn't over, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Face. 1931 01:38:48,756 --> 01:38:50,800 - I'm watching you too, Eddie. 1932 01:38:50,883 --> 01:38:52,051 - Watch away. 1933 01:38:52,135 --> 01:38:54,262 - I am. - Pay-per-view. 1934 01:38:55,388 --> 01:38:57,265 Terri, come back! 1935 01:38:57,348 --> 01:38:59,350 ♪ American girl ♪ 1936 01:38:59,433 --> 01:39:02,770 ♪ I got a message ♪ 1937 01:39:02,854 --> 01:39:06,691 ♪ That she's back in town ♪ 1938 01:39:06,774 --> 01:39:10,069 ♪ She'd really like to see me ♪ 1939 01:39:10,153 --> 01:39:13,072 ♪ Am I still around ♪ 1940 01:39:13,156 --> 01:39:16,868 ♪ Really, really sorry and she'd like to talk ♪ 1941 01:39:16,951 --> 01:39:20,413 ♪ Must wanna tell me why she took that walk ♪ 1942 01:39:20,496 --> 01:39:24,125 ♪ Took a little while, but I'm back in stride ♪ 1943 01:39:24,208 --> 01:39:29,422 ♪ Finally realized you just can't hide ♪ 1944 01:39:30,339 --> 01:39:31,924 - Come on, let's go jump in the boat. 1945 01:39:32,008 --> 01:39:33,759 ♪ I love ♪ 1946 01:39:33,843 --> 01:39:35,761 ♪ American girls ♪ ♪ Nothing like ♪ 1947 01:39:35,845 --> 01:39:38,764 ♪ American ♪ 1948 01:39:38,848 --> 01:39:40,308 ♪ Girls ♪ 1949 01:39:43,936 --> 01:39:44,937 - Wow! 1950 01:39:48,941 --> 01:39:52,236 So, Turk told you everything? 1951 01:39:52,320 --> 01:39:53,154 - Everything. 1952 01:39:53,237 --> 01:39:56,407 Oh, no! 1953 01:39:56,491 --> 01:39:58,868 - I guess I should apologize for those rat traps. 1954 01:39:58,951 --> 01:40:00,995 You think? Yeah. 1955 01:40:04,707 --> 01:40:06,417 It's weird, in a way, 1956 01:40:07,460 --> 01:40:09,587 I actually helped him complete his mission, 1957 01:40:09,670 --> 01:40:12,924 but he didn't help me complete mine. 1958 01:40:13,007 --> 01:40:14,133 I'm the first guy 1959 01:40:14,217 --> 01:40:17,094 he's never actually successfully got a girl. 1960 01:40:19,972 --> 01:40:22,517 - Oh, I wouldn't be so sure about that. 1961 01:40:22,600 --> 01:40:25,019 Oh yeah? 1962 01:40:25,102 --> 01:40:26,020 Why is that? 1963 01:40:30,566 --> 01:40:32,902 - I have my eight reasons. 1964 01:40:32,985 --> 01:40:35,571 - He told you about the onion rings? 1965 01:40:35,655 --> 01:40:37,240 - I think actually nine. 1966 01:40:38,241 --> 01:40:39,283 - Maybe it's 10. 1967 01:40:41,577 --> 01:40:43,329 ♪ I love ♪ 1968 01:40:43,412 --> 01:40:45,957 ♪ American girls ♪ 1969 01:40:50,753 --> 01:40:52,380 - I wonder where he is now. 1970 01:40:56,759 --> 01:40:58,594 He's on a mission. 1971 01:41:06,477 --> 01:41:09,021 Hey! 1972 01:41:09,105 --> 01:41:09,981 Ooh. 1973 01:41:22,451 --> 01:41:24,620 Captain Scott Riker. 1974 01:41:27,999 --> 01:41:29,125 - What took you so long, 1975 01:41:29,208 --> 01:41:30,543 you son of a bitch? 1976 01:41:38,384 --> 01:41:40,344 - It's time to go home, Captain. 1977 01:41:40,428 --> 01:41:42,388 - Home? 1978 01:41:42,471 --> 01:41:43,472 Screw that. 1979 01:41:44,890 --> 01:41:47,184 I've been locked up in here for 18 years. 1980 01:41:48,978 --> 01:41:51,439 Take me to a bar, Wingman. 1981 01:41:51,522 --> 01:41:53,065 I need to get laid, 1982 01:41:54,150 --> 01:41:55,693 and that's an order. 1983 01:42:02,700 --> 01:42:03,951 - Ah! 1984 01:42:04,035 --> 01:42:05,119 Ha-ha! 1985 01:42:30,686 --> 01:42:35,566 ♪ So what's a man, without a woman ♪ 1986 01:42:35,650 --> 01:42:40,196 Oh, that was incredible. 1987 01:42:41,364 --> 01:42:43,157 Oh, wow. 1988 01:42:44,367 --> 01:42:47,536 The way you just bend me like, 1989 01:42:48,204 --> 01:42:49,121 like a tree branch, 1990 01:42:49,205 --> 01:42:51,540 and then just snap me right back 1991 01:42:51,624 --> 01:42:55,211 like you just found the second cure to polio. 1992 01:42:56,170 --> 01:42:57,129 Oh! 1993 01:42:57,213 --> 01:43:01,425 ♪ And we love because we're lovers ♪ 1994 01:43:03,219 --> 01:43:04,470 - You're a beast. ♪ Tell your daughters ♪ 1995 01:43:04,553 --> 01:43:07,807 ♪ To be strong ♪ 1996 01:43:07,890 --> 01:43:09,141 Mhmm. 1997 01:43:09,225 --> 01:43:11,394 ♪ 'Cause what's a man ♪ 1998 01:43:11,477 --> 01:43:14,647 ♪ Without a woman ♪ 1999 01:43:14,730 --> 01:43:16,774 ♪ Mm ♪ 2000 01:43:16,857 --> 01:43:20,152 - Where do I ever find a man that can beat that? 2001 01:43:22,738 --> 01:43:23,656 What's that? 2002 01:43:27,076 --> 01:43:28,577 Oh. 2003 01:43:28,661 --> 01:43:30,204 Ooh. 2004 01:43:30,287 --> 01:43:31,288 Okay. 2005 01:43:33,082 --> 01:43:34,250 "Wingman. 2006 01:43:34,333 --> 01:43:37,002 If you don't get laid, I don't get paid. " 2007 01:43:38,379 --> 01:43:41,507 Well, what have I got to lose? 2008 01:43:42,925 --> 01:43:45,177 - You ready for round 12, baby? 2009 01:43:46,345 --> 01:43:47,722 - Fuck yeah! - Fuck ya? 2010 01:43:47,805 --> 01:43:50,391 I barely no ya. 2011 01:44:01,444 --> 01:44:03,612 - Hey, pal, who do you think you are? 2012 01:44:05,448 --> 01:44:07,283 - Turk Thompson. - Give me that. 2013 01:44:08,409 --> 01:44:09,827 Wingman? 2014 01:44:09,910 --> 01:44:15,124 What kind of moron hires a wingman? 2015 01:44:15,499 --> 01:44:16,584 Loser-ville. 2016 01:44:21,755 --> 01:44:23,924 - I'll call ya. - Yeah. 2017 01:44:24,008 --> 01:44:25,342 I know. 2018 01:44:25,426 --> 01:44:29,847 In the meantime, take these motion sickness pills. 2019 01:44:29,930 --> 01:44:33,058 I want you to start practicing on your mattress, 2020 01:44:33,142 --> 01:44:35,311 humping it like a boarding school pervert 2021 01:44:35,394 --> 01:44:36,771 caught in an Arizona shitstorm. 2022 01:44:36,854 --> 01:44:38,856 ♪ What you gonna do ♪ 2023 01:44:38,939 --> 01:44:40,733 Hey, where you going, baby? 2024 01:44:40,816 --> 01:44:42,234 Come back. - Loser. 2025 01:44:42,318 --> 01:44:43,861 ♪ Look around the room ♪ 2026 01:44:45,321 --> 01:44:46,655 - Brush teeth. 2027 01:44:51,368 --> 01:44:52,953 Nature's answer. 2028 01:44:53,037 --> 01:44:55,414 ♪ Wingman, wingman ♪ 2029 01:44:55,498 --> 01:44:56,332 - Yeah. 2030 01:44:56,415 --> 01:44:58,959 - All clean and ready to cream. 2031 01:45:02,838 --> 01:45:03,672 ♪ Wingman ♪ 2032 01:45:03,756 --> 01:45:07,593 ♪ Wingman, wingman ♪ 2033 01:45:07,676 --> 01:45:11,597 ♪ He drives up to the bar as your hopes begin to fade ♪ 2034 01:45:11,680 --> 01:45:13,098 I have my own car. 2035 01:45:13,182 --> 01:45:14,934 I promise. - You wish. 2036 01:45:15,017 --> 01:45:18,562 ♪ Now he don't get paid if he don't get you laid ♪ 2037 01:45:18,646 --> 01:45:22,107 Come on, show Daddy some lettuce. 2038 01:45:22,191 --> 01:45:25,945 ♪ He'll get you what you want, skinny, fat, or tall ♪ 2039 01:45:26,028 --> 01:45:29,156 - Oh, looking juicy. - Oh. 2040 01:45:29,240 --> 01:45:33,577 ♪ But you better hurry up, they just yelled, "Last call" ♪ 2041 01:45:33,661 --> 01:45:36,830 - Naked body shots! - Woo-hoo! 2042 01:45:36,914 --> 01:45:38,415 ♪ Strike out number four ♪ 2043 01:45:38,499 --> 01:45:40,459 ♪ Strike out number five ♪ 2044 01:45:40,543 --> 01:45:45,714 ♪ Totally rejected, chances barely alive ♪ 2045 01:45:47,716 --> 01:45:51,554 ♪ He'll get you hooked up with a brunette or a blonde ♪ 2046 01:45:51,637 --> 01:45:54,932 Ooh, release the Kracken. 2047 01:45:55,015 --> 01:45:58,227 ♪ You're going home with a hottie, now the wingman's done ♪ 2048 01:45:58,310 --> 01:46:01,981 ♪ Wingman, wingman ♪ 2049 01:46:02,064 --> 01:46:03,649 ♪ If you can't get a date ♪ 2050 01:46:03,732 --> 01:46:05,734 ♪ He's always got a plan ♪ 2051 01:46:05,818 --> 01:46:07,194 ♪ No time left waiting ♪ 2052 01:46:07,278 --> 01:46:09,113 ♪ He's the wingman ♪ 2053 01:46:09,196 --> 01:46:16,453 ♪ Wingman, wingman ♪ 2054 01:46:16,537 --> 01:46:19,164 I'm the wingman. 2055 01:46:19,248 --> 01:46:20,249 Yeah. 2056 01:46:21,375 --> 01:46:22,835 You're cute. 2057 01:46:22,918 --> 01:46:26,088 Are you cereal? 2058 01:46:26,171 --> 01:46:29,758 ♪ His love is just a game ♪ 2059 01:46:29,842 --> 01:46:35,055 ♪ All the pain driving you insane ♪ 2060 01:46:35,973 --> 01:46:40,394 ♪ Insane, it gets inside your brain ♪ 2061 01:46:41,395 --> 01:46:45,691 ♪ It stains, sucks you down its drain ♪ 2062 01:46:46,525 --> 01:46:50,112 ♪ Its drain, love is just a game ♪ 2063 01:46:58,120 --> 01:47:01,457 ♪ Love is just a game ♪ 2064 01:47:08,213 --> 01:47:13,385 ♪ No matter how you plan ♪ 2065 01:47:13,969 --> 01:47:18,641 ♪ Or craft a strategy ♪ 2066 01:47:19,308 --> 01:47:24,229 ♪ Once you're in the game ♪ 2067 01:47:24,813 --> 01:47:29,360 ♪ You are never free ♪ 2068 01:47:29,443 --> 01:47:34,615 ♪ You play it all again ♪ 2069 01:47:35,491 --> 01:47:38,827 ♪ Love is just a game ♪