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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

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Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org

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Shared by http://DJJ.HOME.SAPO.PT/

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'Life's all pain.
Pain, rejection and gloom.

4
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'Why do we pretend there's not
a yawning blankness at the heart of...

5
00:00:33,277 --> 00:00:38,226
'Hey, 330/0 extra free.
I am doing excellent shopping.

6
00:00:38,277 --> 00:00:42,509
'My depression means
I'm being even more frugal than normal. '

7
00:00:42,557 --> 00:00:44,673
- Mark!
- Hey, Jeremy.

8
00:00:44,717 --> 00:00:48,392
You realise tinned food
is just for crackheads and wars?

9
00:00:48,437 --> 00:00:50,234
Oh, no, mate,

10
00:00:50,277 --> 00:00:54,668
- this stuff's 78 pence a 100ml.
- Yeah, it's first pressing.

11
00:00:54,717 --> 00:00:58,949
You don't wait until everyone else
has had fun with the olives.

12
00:00:58,997 --> 00:01:02,273
Fourth pressing,
that's a party in your mouth!

13
00:01:02,317 --> 00:01:04,877
Look, we've been through this before,

14
00:01:04,917 --> 00:01:09,945
I do the joint shopping solo because
I don't make impulse purchases and...

15
00:01:09,997 --> 00:01:13,069
Mark! I'm not shopping,
I just came to tell you

16
00:01:13,117 --> 00:01:16,234
that we've been invited
to a very wicked party.

17
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Do I look like a man who goes to
wicked parties? Ask Toni.

18
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I did, actually, but she said no.

19
00:01:22,197 --> 00:01:24,836
But it's better this way - two lads.

20
00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:28,392
We've got to get out there,
grooving, doing it, you know?

21
00:01:28,437 --> 00:01:30,826
It's been a long time for either of us.

22
00:01:30,877 --> 00:01:34,313
I haven't had my oats
in something like... two weeks.

23
00:01:34,357 --> 00:01:36,313
'Nine months and 13 days. '

24
00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:39,952
Look, people will think
we spend the whole time wanking.

25
00:01:39,997 --> 00:01:43,194
Don't be ridiculous,
they're for wiping up mess.

26
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:46,229
Yeah, man mess.
That's why they're mansize.

27
00:01:46,277 --> 00:01:49,986
They're for men -
men's noses, big manly snot.

28
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Oh, Mark, come on, man, let it go.

29
00:01:54,837 --> 00:01:56,236
What?

30
00:01:56,277 --> 00:02:01,305
Why do you have to have a huge can
of lager that makes you really drunk?

31
00:02:01,357 --> 00:02:05,270
What if you want to get
Sophie home and get her all lathered up?

32
00:02:05,317 --> 00:02:07,308
That's not going to happen.

33
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- Oh, shit, did you...?
- Mm-hm.

34
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And she...?

35
00:02:12,437 --> 00:02:16,635
I mean, it's not a date or anything
because I've got a mega-pass.

36
00:02:16,677 --> 00:02:18,713
How do you feel about row G?

37
00:02:18,757 --> 00:02:21,191
- Tonight?
- Yeah, I thought...

38
00:02:21,237 --> 00:02:25,276
Oh, Mark, listen, I'm sorry,
I'd love to but, er...

39
00:02:25,317 --> 00:02:27,308
I've got this... thing.

40
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Oh, man, I'm... But listen, this is the
perfect time to get back in the game.

41
00:02:32,397 --> 00:02:37,346
You know? Two guys,
together, out, looking for... it.

42
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No, thank you.

43
00:02:39,357 --> 00:02:43,908
How much pain can I experience at home
with spaghetti carbonara and Das Boot?

44
00:02:43,957 --> 00:02:48,428
Look, it's Friday night, most people
don't do their shopping now,

45
00:02:48,477 --> 00:02:51,389
- they're out right now.
- Right. No queues.

46
00:02:51,437 --> 00:02:53,997
So who exactly is winning, eh?

47
00:02:58,837 --> 00:03:03,035
'OK, well, I'm here
so I'll just sit here and drink.

48
00:03:03,077 --> 00:03:05,147
'No one can stop me doing that.

49
00:03:05,197 --> 00:03:07,552
'Just drink myself to death.

50
00:03:09,197 --> 00:03:13,748
'I bet he gets sex tonight
and I have to listen to it through the wall.

51
00:03:13,797 --> 00:03:18,712
'Maybe she might go to the bathroom
and accidentally come into my room.

52
00:03:18,757 --> 00:03:22,875
'And what? She fucks you?
No, she says "whoops" and goes out.

53
00:03:22,917 --> 00:03:24,873
'Stop doing this to yourself. '

54
00:03:24,917 --> 00:03:27,306
So, safe party, yeah?

55
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Super safe!

56
00:03:29,637 --> 00:03:32,026
'OK, playing it cool, huh?

57
00:03:32,077 --> 00:03:36,355
'All right, how about I go
a little Oscar Wilde on your ass? '

58
00:03:36,397 --> 00:03:38,786
I always go for the first pressing.

59
00:03:38,837 --> 00:03:44,116
I mean, why wait until everyone else
has had fun with the olives, right?

60
00:03:45,117 --> 00:03:48,393
'What's her problem?
This is the 21 st century.

61
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:50,712
'Olive oil is an acceptable topic. '

62
00:03:53,037 --> 00:03:55,267
'Someone here's got psoriasis.

63
00:03:55,317 --> 00:03:59,276
'One of the less common skin ailments.
Yeast infection.

64
00:03:59,317 --> 00:04:03,788
'Thrush if you're thinking glamorous,
athlete's foot if you're not.

65
00:04:03,837 --> 00:04:06,635
'A fellow migraine sufferer.

66
00:04:06,677 --> 00:04:11,546
'Everyone at this party isn't as young,
fit and single as they make out.

67
00:04:11,597 --> 00:04:15,385
'Let's face it,
we're all falling apart piece by piece.

68
00:04:15,437 --> 00:04:18,873
'Doesn't matter if you're single
or in a couple,

69
00:04:18,917 --> 00:04:22,830
'you... are... going... to... die. '

70
00:04:25,437 --> 00:04:28,031
Er... frozen stuff.

71
00:04:28,077 --> 00:04:31,513
I, er, don't want them to, you know, thaw.

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00:04:35,357 --> 00:04:39,236
Hey! You got Findus Crispy Pancakes -
I love them!

73
00:04:39,277 --> 00:04:43,236
They're just so... disgusting, aren't they?

74
00:04:43,277 --> 00:04:44,915
Er, yeah.

75
00:04:44,957 --> 00:04:49,348
My sister, who's a smackhead,
I ended up there for Christmas dinner

76
00:04:49,397 --> 00:04:55,188
and we had turkey Findus Crispy
Pancakes. I wanted to kill myself.

77
00:04:55,237 --> 00:04:57,990
That would be the natural reaction.

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00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:03,269
- Can I have a jam doughnut?
- Er, yeah, sure.

79
00:05:03,317 --> 00:05:06,036
So who are you trying to bone tonight?

80
00:05:06,077 --> 00:05:11,674
Oh, I'm not in the game. If I can get
my shopping home intact I'll be happy.

81
00:05:11,717 --> 00:05:13,867
Just like, be honest about it.

82
00:05:13,917 --> 00:05:17,273
I mean, let's line up, two naked rows,

83
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,548
best-looking people
can pick the best-looking,

84
00:05:20,597 --> 00:05:23,873
the dregs get the dregs
and we can get it over with.

85
00:05:23,917 --> 00:05:27,273
That's a very attractive system
you're proposing.

86
00:05:27,317 --> 00:05:32,266
And it saves them having to humiliate
themselves. Check out this guy.

87
00:05:32,317 --> 00:05:34,228
Yeah.

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00:05:38,597 --> 00:05:42,192
'Knew this would pay off.
Talking's bullshit.

89
00:05:42,237 --> 00:05:44,990
"'Yeah, I did this. I go there. "

90
00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:49,956
'OK, there's a new guy in town.
Probably just a friend.

91
00:05:49,997 --> 00:05:53,785
'Yeah. Me, her and her friend.
Kind of nice really.

92
00:05:54,877 --> 00:05:57,835
'H-Hey! That's a foul! Fuck!

93
00:05:57,877 --> 00:06:00,994
'God, she must be loving this.
I feel so cheap.

94
00:06:01,037 --> 00:06:03,505
'I really thought we had something. '

95
00:06:03,557 --> 00:06:11,555
So you work in an office and you've got,
like, your computer and your desk...

96
00:06:11,597 --> 00:06:13,588
God, that is so fucking weird!

97
00:06:13,637 --> 00:06:16,834
Yeah, well, you know,
everything's decaying,

98
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:20,267
so the way I see it
has there ever been a better time

99
00:06:20,317 --> 00:06:22,877
to save up for a very comfortable sofa?

100
00:06:22,917 --> 00:06:27,149
'She's a teenager, Mark.
You'll get castrated by the menfolk.

101
00:06:27,197 --> 00:06:29,233
'Maybe she's a...

102
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- 'Oh, God. '
- Hey! Love the suit!

103
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Are you selling insurance?

104
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No need to look like you're sittin'
on a brush, man, we're only razzin' ya.

105
00:06:39,157 --> 00:06:41,148
? We are the mods
? We are the mods

106
00:06:41,197 --> 00:06:43,552
♪ We are, we are, we are the mods♪

107
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My brother is such a dickhead.
I wish he was dead.

108
00:06:48,957 --> 00:06:53,667
That's a bit much. Just pretend
you need his bone marrow. That's agony.

109
00:06:55,997 --> 00:07:01,117
'She's snogging him already.
The dream is over, I am detritus. '

110
00:07:01,157 --> 00:07:05,036
Hey, Jez! I just wanted to tell you,
we're going.

111
00:07:05,077 --> 00:07:07,545
- To the Lazer Bowl.
- The Lazer Bowl?

112
00:07:07,597 --> 00:07:11,112
Yeah, me and Valerie.
We were gonna kill her brother

113
00:07:11,157 --> 00:07:14,229
but we thought the Lazer Bowl
would be more fun.

114
00:07:14,277 --> 00:07:17,349
Me, you and Valerie
are going to the Lazer Bowl?

115
00:07:17,397 --> 00:07:21,026
I hadn't thought you would be.
See you later at home?

116
00:07:21,077 --> 00:07:24,387
Do you think...
Would you mind taking the shopping?

117
00:07:24,437 --> 00:07:27,668
I've left some stuff
in the freezer compartment.

118
00:07:27,717 --> 00:07:30,595
Hey, maybe I could
bring someone along?

119
00:07:30,637 --> 00:07:32,593
Er... I mean...

120
00:07:33,797 --> 00:07:35,992
- I guess.
- I'll call Toni.

121
00:07:36,037 --> 00:07:38,949
Yeah, no, this is perfect, cos I'll just say,

122
00:07:38,997 --> 00:07:43,707
"Hey, me, Mark and Valerie are off down
the Lazer Bowl, do you wanna come?"

123
00:07:43,757 --> 00:07:47,147
- And she'll be, like, "Hell, yeah!"
- You think so?

124
00:07:51,477 --> 00:07:54,833
So he was all,
you want a piece of the action?

125
00:07:54,877 --> 00:08:00,827
And I was all, hell, yeah! I mean,
this is definitely not the rehearsal.

126
00:08:00,877 --> 00:08:04,756
Why not go to the Lazer Bowl
with the kid next door?

127
00:08:04,797 --> 00:08:08,187
'I've got to take
Jeremy's advice more often.

128
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:13,436
'I'm on a date with a teenage goth,
smoking pot in the Lazer Bowl toilets.

129
00:08:13,477 --> 00:08:16,196
'This is it. This is literally it.

130
00:08:16,237 --> 00:08:19,991
'This is what people do
when they're having a good time. '

131
00:08:21,037 --> 00:08:23,392
Um... er... I don't know.

132
00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:25,473
It's good stuff, Mark.

133
00:08:25,517 --> 00:08:28,793
I strongly advise you to toke it.

134
00:08:33,517 --> 00:08:36,395
Erm, do you want me
to give you blowback?

135
00:08:36,437 --> 00:08:38,029
What, here?

136
00:08:38,077 --> 00:08:40,716
'Oh, my God, it's the last days of Rome! '

137
00:08:40,757 --> 00:08:44,875
Sure, open your mouth and breathe in
when I click my fingers.

138
00:08:49,397 --> 00:08:51,149
Wow!

139
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:55,349
'I've been initiated. I am a drug user.
Fuck the police! '

140
00:08:55,397 --> 00:08:58,116
This is it, mate. We're having it.

141
00:08:58,157 --> 00:09:00,990
Jez, the faces, the faces.

142
00:09:01,037 --> 00:09:03,346
I feel... strange.

143
00:09:03,397 --> 00:09:05,957
Do you? Follow the fingers...

144
00:09:05,997 --> 00:09:08,113
Don't poke my eyes! Don't poke my eyes!

145
00:09:08,157 --> 00:09:11,194
- Are you getting visuals?
- What if I lose it?

146
00:09:11,237 --> 00:09:13,432
I'm not gonna do a poo, am I, Jez?

147
00:09:13,477 --> 00:09:17,231
Of course not.
Look, everything's going brilliantly.

148
00:09:17,277 --> 00:09:19,666
We've got to work together as a team.

149
00:09:19,717 --> 00:09:23,596
Work things up into a bit of a lather,
yeah? Follow my lead.

150
00:09:23,637 --> 00:09:27,710
'Jez is so great. He's like an idiot savant
but not so stupid.

151
00:09:27,757 --> 00:09:31,989
'I bet he's totally sorting
this whole night for us right now. '

152
00:09:32,037 --> 00:09:36,030
'I could say we've got huge cocks -
might be the clincher. '

153
00:09:36,077 --> 00:09:38,147
This is great, isn't it?

154
00:09:38,197 --> 00:09:40,757
This is so... it.

155
00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:44,187
I am having a just great time.

156
00:09:44,237 --> 00:09:45,795
Great!

157
00:09:47,117 --> 00:09:51,508
So, girls, what's the weirdest place
you've ever...

158
00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:53,787
done it.

159
00:09:53,837 --> 00:09:58,069
I had a steward eat me at Dubai airport.
God, that was depressing.

160
00:09:58,117 --> 00:10:00,233
Yeah, right.

161
00:10:00,277 --> 00:10:02,233
Valerie, how about you?

162
00:10:02,277 --> 00:10:04,552
I believe true love waits.

163
00:10:04,597 --> 00:10:07,509
Uh-huh, yeah. Me too.

164
00:10:07,557 --> 00:10:10,435
Er, Jesus, I'm kidding.

165
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:12,468
Yeah, right, obviously, no.

166
00:10:13,557 --> 00:10:16,025
Me too.

167
00:10:16,077 --> 00:10:19,308
OK, so, what's everyone's
favourite record?

168
00:10:20,357 --> 00:10:22,951
Jesus, what was all that about?

169
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:25,909
I guess she just
really likes Sledgehammer.

170
00:10:25,957 --> 00:10:28,391
I mean, that's a shit song, right?

171
00:10:28,437 --> 00:10:29,836
Yeah.

172
00:10:29,877 --> 00:10:31,868
'Forgive me, Peter. '

173
00:10:31,917 --> 00:10:34,511
- I mean, it's so outdated.
- Exactly!

174
00:10:34,557 --> 00:10:38,027
And suddenly I'm up in front
of the middle-aged court

175
00:10:38,077 --> 00:10:40,716
for crimes against being an old fucker.

176
00:10:40,757 --> 00:10:44,591
What's her problem?
I've never heard of Level 42 either.

177
00:10:44,637 --> 00:10:46,867
'Guys, I'm so sorry. '

178
00:10:49,997 --> 00:10:53,467
Hey, gutter boy,
you are allowed to hit the pins!

179
00:10:53,517 --> 00:10:57,032
- You are?
- In some bowling alleys it's encouraged.

180
00:10:57,077 --> 00:10:59,033
I didn't want to disturb them.

181
00:10:59,077 --> 00:11:01,875
That's kind of you, quite the gentleman.

182
00:11:01,917 --> 00:11:04,192
Hey, spread 'em!

183
00:11:08,837 --> 00:11:10,236
Wah-hoo!

184
00:11:10,277 --> 00:11:12,711
'Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. '

185
00:11:12,757 --> 00:11:16,386
- Hi, Mark
- Hi, Sophie, er...

186
00:11:16,437 --> 00:11:19,395
- This is Valerie.
- Hi.

187
00:11:20,477 --> 00:11:23,549
- How's it going?
- Good, thanks, and you two?

188
00:11:23,597 --> 00:11:25,872
Oh, yeah, yeah, fine. Er...

189
00:11:25,917 --> 00:11:28,385
I... Valerie and I, er...

190
00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:31,349
I mean, we just met at a party

191
00:11:31,397 --> 00:11:35,709
and we thought, you know,
we'd come here for a few... bowls.

192
00:11:35,757 --> 00:11:37,748
And I'm high, obviously.

193
00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:39,753
How about you?

194
00:11:39,797 --> 00:11:41,867
- I've been with Jeff.
- Jeff?!

195
00:11:41,917 --> 00:11:43,987
All right, Mark.

196
00:11:45,717 --> 00:11:49,915
'This should be in the bag.
Why isn't this in the bag?

197
00:11:49,957 --> 00:11:51,948
'She looks like she hates me. '

198
00:11:51,997 --> 00:11:55,034
What? It's "eat as much
as you can," you know.

199
00:11:55,077 --> 00:11:57,989
No, it's "eat as much as you like".

200
00:11:58,037 --> 00:12:00,426
There's no competitive element implied.

201
00:12:00,477 --> 00:12:02,911
At 3.99 I think I know who's winning.

202
00:12:02,957 --> 00:12:05,551
How dare she criticise Peter Gabriel.

203
00:12:05,597 --> 00:12:09,829
With her little "screw me" haircut,
and all so nee-nee-nee-ee.

204
00:12:09,877 --> 00:12:12,186
He single-handedly created WOMAD.

205
00:12:12,237 --> 00:12:16,469
'Oh, God, please stop talking
about Peter Gabriel. '

206
00:12:16,517 --> 00:12:17,950
Uh-huh.

207
00:12:17,997 --> 00:12:22,707
I can't believe it, I'm on a double-date
with guys from the office.

208
00:12:22,757 --> 00:12:24,748
It's like being on Friends.

209
00:12:24,797 --> 00:12:26,913
Yeah, this is great.

210
00:12:26,957 --> 00:12:30,996
So do you guys
get pissed at the Christmas party

211
00:12:31,037 --> 00:12:33,028
and photocopy your arses?

212
00:12:33,077 --> 00:12:35,545
Yeah, Jeff did do that actually.

213
00:12:35,597 --> 00:12:40,591
- That was before everyone else did.
- You were something of a trendsetter.

214
00:12:41,597 --> 00:12:44,669
So, Valerie, you still at school or what?

215
00:12:44,717 --> 00:12:46,628
She's at college actually.

216
00:12:46,677 --> 00:12:49,714
- Sixth-form college.
- That's the old college.

217
00:12:49,757 --> 00:12:52,590
Right. So what's your favourite subject?

218
00:12:52,637 --> 00:12:56,312
I'm sure Valerie doesn't want
to talk about subjects.

219
00:12:56,357 --> 00:12:58,746
Yeah, sure. So who's best in S-Club?

220
00:12:58,797 --> 00:13:02,915
Oh, erm... I'm not really into them

221
00:13:02,957 --> 00:13:05,676
but I hear they have a big gay following.

222
00:13:09,477 --> 00:13:14,915
'For the worst thing that could possibly
happen this is going extremely well. '

223
00:13:19,477 --> 00:13:24,312
'Maybe I can just really get into Peter
Gabriel and go mental and marry her

224
00:13:24,357 --> 00:13:28,270
'and have lots of sex
and agree with her about everything? '

225
00:13:29,397 --> 00:13:34,107
'I'm bursting! This is why
you should stick to the little cans.

226
00:13:34,157 --> 00:13:36,955
'Ah, the simple pleasures. Oh. '

227
00:13:36,997 --> 00:13:40,307
- You havin' a good night?
- Er, yeah, yeah.

228
00:13:40,357 --> 00:13:42,313
Nice bowling.

229
00:13:42,357 --> 00:13:45,827
You've narrowed it down
to one lane anyway.

230
00:13:45,877 --> 00:13:48,345
Well, you know, it's just a bit of fun.

231
00:13:48,397 --> 00:13:51,787
'Oh, God, I'm never
gonna be able to go now.

232
00:13:51,837 --> 00:13:53,793
'Why can't I go? '

233
00:13:53,837 --> 00:13:55,828
Yeah, just a bit of fun.

234
00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:59,347
After a nice Italian
and a couple of bottles of wine.

235
00:13:59,397 --> 00:14:02,867
- 'Fuck. Italian, wine. '
- Sophie liked it, anyway.

236
00:14:02,917 --> 00:14:05,989
- 'Why didn't I ask her? '
- Loved it, actually.

237
00:14:06,037 --> 00:14:07,993
'Oh... Shit.

238
00:14:08,037 --> 00:14:10,426
'Waterfalls... nothing.

239
00:14:10,477 --> 00:14:12,468
'Pretend you've finished. '

240
00:14:12,517 --> 00:14:14,314
Ahh.

241
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:21,469
- Any change for the johnny machine?
- What? You...

242
00:14:21,517 --> 00:14:23,587
Actually, I think I'm all right.

243
00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:27,716
I'm thinking a couple of packs of normal.

244
00:14:27,757 --> 00:14:29,987
Knobblies are a bit of a con.

245
00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:33,473
Maybe a couple of fruities for a laugh.

246
00:14:33,517 --> 00:14:37,476
'She hates fruit. Except pears.
If there's pear flavour I'm fucked. '

247
00:14:37,517 --> 00:14:41,749
I can't stop hanging on for you
because I never started.

248
00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:44,186
Well, here's the headlines, buddy!

249
00:14:44,237 --> 00:14:48,833
I can do who I want, when I want,
where I want and I will, OK?!

250
00:14:51,437 --> 00:14:53,712
This is not the rehearsal.

251
00:14:53,757 --> 00:14:57,511
'Come on, clock's ticking,
got to raise my game.

252
00:14:57,557 --> 00:14:59,912
'Think witty. Charming and witty.

253
00:14:59,957 --> 00:15:01,913
'And sexy. '

254
00:15:01,957 --> 00:15:06,747
- Sorry about that. Listen...
- So, fourth pressing, fifth pressing...

255
00:15:06,797 --> 00:15:10,790
What's that all about? Why wait until
everyone else has had their fun...

256
00:15:10,837 --> 00:15:13,305
That is so true.

257
00:15:20,517 --> 00:15:21,916
Mm.

258
00:15:21,957 --> 00:15:25,427
Listen, let's talk more
back at my place, yeah?

259
00:15:25,477 --> 00:15:29,106
'Oh, my God, I knew it.
Olive oil talk. Wicked! '

260
00:15:29,157 --> 00:15:33,196
So, this is nice. Kind of weird but...

261
00:15:33,237 --> 00:15:35,034
Nice, yeah.

262
00:15:35,077 --> 00:15:40,868
Great. So I was just wondering how
you ended up coming out with... Jeff?

263
00:15:41,637 --> 00:15:46,188
Oh, right. Erm, well,
I suppose, well, he asked me.

264
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,228
He asked you. Of course.

265
00:15:48,277 --> 00:15:51,235
- Is that all it takes?
- It certainly helps.

266
00:15:51,277 --> 00:15:54,235
I mean, I did actually ask you myself.

267
00:15:54,917 --> 00:15:59,308
Yes, well, I was already...
and I didn't say anything because...

268
00:15:59,357 --> 00:16:03,145
Well, you know.
So, er, Valerie seems nice.

269
00:16:03,197 --> 00:16:05,188
- She's nothing.
- Oh, right.

270
00:16:05,237 --> 00:16:06,989
'That didn't sound good. '

271
00:16:07,037 --> 00:16:11,508
I mean, it's just a little night out.
I'm a friend of her brother's.

272
00:16:11,557 --> 00:16:13,991
He's a total wanker, actually.

273
00:16:14,037 --> 00:16:17,916
So, have you had a good time
on your... date?

274
00:16:17,957 --> 00:16:20,630
Yeah, you know what you're getting
with Pizza Hut.

275
00:16:20,677 --> 00:16:22,872
'Ha! I win! '

276
00:16:22,917 --> 00:16:24,748
Cool.

277
00:16:24,797 --> 00:16:29,666
So, old seat-sniffer didn't sniff
any of the seats or anything, did he?

278
00:16:29,717 --> 00:16:33,312
That's a rumour that isn't
appropriate for you to...

279
00:16:33,357 --> 00:16:35,996
- Jeff's a nice guy.
- Who should've...

280
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:38,790
Look, I'm having a nice time.
Leave it, OK?

281
00:16:38,837 --> 00:16:41,192
- You're having a good time.
- Yeah.

282
00:16:41,237 --> 00:16:44,627
Good, because
I'm having a great time too.

283
00:16:44,677 --> 00:16:47,350
That makes two of us
having a great time.

284
00:16:47,397 --> 00:16:49,991
'She's not gonna do it. They won't do it. '

285
00:16:52,557 --> 00:16:57,267
'Wow. Fuck you, lord of death,
I'm still full of piss and vinegar.

286
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,751
'Mm, doing it with a sexy neighbour.

287
00:16:59,797 --> 00:17:04,234
'Ow! That... Why is she sucking it?
Maybe she's practising for my...

288
00:17:04,277 --> 00:17:06,791
'Are you allowed to say when it hurts? '

289
00:17:06,837 --> 00:17:08,907
Whoa, shit!

290
00:17:08,957 --> 00:17:13,872
I divided them into three piles -
yours, mine and don't knows.

291
00:17:13,917 --> 00:17:15,794
Yeah, whatever.

292
00:17:15,837 --> 00:17:17,873
'Maybe this is good?

293
00:17:17,917 --> 00:17:20,795
'Maybe this kind of... turns me on? '

294
00:17:20,837 --> 00:17:25,115
- Then I'll have the Bhundu Boys album.
- Bollocks you are!

295
00:17:25,157 --> 00:17:28,706
- You'd never even heard of them.
- That is such shit.

296
00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:31,715
- Maybe I'II...
- You're not going anywhere.

297
00:17:33,077 --> 00:17:34,988
Boom!

298
00:17:40,677 --> 00:17:44,511
You'll have to do something special
to catch me up, mate.

299
00:17:44,557 --> 00:17:49,187
'Don't let him know he's got to you.
Play it cool. Play it suave. '

300
00:17:49,237 --> 00:17:51,228
Oh, I think I can manage that.

301
00:17:58,277 --> 00:18:00,586
Watch me bowl, Jeff.

302
00:18:02,597 --> 00:18:05,748
I'm bowling, all right?! I'm bowling fruit!

303
00:18:10,637 --> 00:18:13,549
I'm on another level! I've gone beyond!

304
00:18:22,757 --> 00:18:24,713
Fancy a refill?

305
00:18:24,757 --> 00:18:26,748
Er...

306
00:18:28,837 --> 00:18:30,236
OK.

307
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:33,633
'This is some sort of test.
Like The Great Escape.

308
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:36,908
'Don't answer in English,
just brave it out. '

309
00:18:36,957 --> 00:18:38,948
Jeremy's a musician.

310
00:18:39,917 --> 00:18:41,475
Uh-huh.

311
00:18:41,517 --> 00:18:43,712
Yeah, I, er, play the keyboard.

312
00:18:43,757 --> 00:18:48,512
You always fancied one of those
keyboards you hold like a guitar.

313
00:18:49,597 --> 00:18:51,588
Used to like a lot of things.

314
00:18:51,637 --> 00:18:55,710
'They're gonna use me for a sex game
and then burn me in the bath. '

315
00:18:55,757 --> 00:19:00,831
Isn't this great, that we can sit
and have a drink together like adults?

316
00:19:00,877 --> 00:19:02,993
Yeah, we're great, aren't we?

317
00:19:03,037 --> 00:19:05,028
Why don't we have a toast?

318
00:19:06,357 --> 00:19:08,313
To us.

319
00:19:09,557 --> 00:19:12,754
- To us.
- To us.

320
00:19:12,797 --> 00:19:17,666
'Oh, come on, someone get the
carving knife and let's get it over with. '

321
00:19:17,717 --> 00:19:22,666
Do you think I like this job?
Do you think I like spending all night

322
00:19:22,717 --> 00:19:27,074
trying to prise shopping
out of our frankly antiquated system?

323
00:19:27,117 --> 00:19:32,066
I'm... sorry. I'm really sorry.
I thought they would just...

324
00:19:32,117 --> 00:19:35,712
I've got your number, mate.
I've got you by the shoes.

325
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:38,430
He doesn't care about the shoes!

326
00:19:39,437 --> 00:19:42,952
- Fuck your shoes.
- Come on, he's said he's sorry.

327
00:19:42,997 --> 00:19:45,352
What do you know about my shoes?

328
00:19:45,397 --> 00:19:50,346
We're gonna head off, but... I can vouch
for him so could you put it on my card?

329
00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:55,073
Look... Don't go!
Soph, you should stay and bowl.

330
00:19:55,117 --> 00:19:57,108
Bowl the night away, with us.

331
00:19:57,157 --> 00:19:59,148
Er, I don't know...

332
00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:02,712
Once they get the stuff out
we can have a tournament.

333
00:20:02,757 --> 00:20:06,272
I don't think the plastic
can take the strain.

334
00:20:06,317 --> 00:20:10,276
Mark, they're going home to bone, yeah?

335
00:20:10,317 --> 00:20:12,228
Don't screw things up.

336
00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:15,349
- But...
- You have a good night now.

337
00:20:15,397 --> 00:20:16,796
Bye.

338
00:20:16,837 --> 00:20:20,113
'Don't think about it. If you don't
think about it, it won't happen.

339
00:20:22,677 --> 00:20:25,555
'Straight to Frenching. This is so easy.

340
00:20:25,597 --> 00:20:29,112
'I bet Sophie and Jeff
are doing a lot of talking now.

341
00:20:29,157 --> 00:20:33,912
'She can really talk, probably boring him
about the Celestine Prophecy.

342
00:20:33,957 --> 00:20:38,826
'Maybe Jeff's bought loads of booze
so Sophie's too pissed to mind.

343
00:20:38,877 --> 00:20:40,913
'Ow! She's squeezing my...

344
00:20:40,957 --> 00:20:42,834
'Don't complain! '

345
00:20:42,877 --> 00:20:47,587
'Is she going for...? I'm not ready,
there's no action down there. '

346
00:20:47,637 --> 00:20:50,435
Jeremy, are you not...?

347
00:20:50,477 --> 00:20:54,868
Look, are you sure this is OK?
You know, isn't Tony gonna mind?

348
00:20:54,917 --> 00:21:00,469
Tony lost his licence to mind when he
went off with a scrubber called Lindsay!

349
00:21:02,797 --> 00:21:05,516
'She hasn't said anything about my nuts.

350
00:21:05,557 --> 00:21:08,754
'She's too young
to know how weird they are.

351
00:21:08,797 --> 00:21:11,186
'I'm having sex with a teenage girl!

352
00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:14,786
'Sophie wouldn't,
not with the seat-sniffer.

353
00:21:14,837 --> 00:21:18,591
'I mean, we've got a connection.
This is not wrong.

354
00:21:18,637 --> 00:21:21,549
'Just try and memorise it for later.

355
00:21:21,597 --> 00:21:25,829
'Mm, this could be nice,
a nice, lovely neck rub.

356
00:21:25,877 --> 00:21:29,153
'She's strangling me!
She's trying to kill me! '

357
00:21:29,197 --> 00:21:31,427
I... I can't...

358
00:21:31,477 --> 00:21:33,354
I can't...

359
00:21:36,037 --> 00:21:38,631
Jesus, Valerie, w-what?!

360
00:21:38,677 --> 00:21:40,907
Just say if you didn't like it!

361
00:21:40,957 --> 00:21:43,517
- My ex used to love that.
- Well, yeah.

362
00:21:43,557 --> 00:21:46,117
Thanks. Thank you.

363
00:21:46,157 --> 00:21:49,866
It was just the... not breathing. You know.

364
00:21:51,317 --> 00:21:54,036
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my God.

365
00:21:54,077 --> 00:21:57,786
You can be as loud as you like!

366
00:21:57,837 --> 00:21:59,429
Oh, God.

367
00:21:59,477 --> 00:22:02,628
Oh, God, this is great!

368
00:22:02,677 --> 00:22:05,953
I'm having great sex!

369
00:22:05,997 --> 00:22:08,511
- Oh! Oh!
- Yeah, yeah.

370
00:22:08,557 --> 00:22:11,435
Couldn't we... close... the door?

371
00:22:11,477 --> 00:22:14,514
The idea of getting caught turns me on!

372
00:22:14,557 --> 00:22:17,230
But we've already been caught.

373
00:22:17,277 --> 00:22:20,667
- The cappuccino machine?
- You're never!

374
00:22:20,717 --> 00:22:23,629
Taking! The Gaggia!

375
00:22:23,677 --> 00:22:27,670
Thanks for letting me stay.
My sister's in my room and...

376
00:22:27,717 --> 00:22:30,470
No problem, I'll be fine on the sofa.

377
00:22:30,517 --> 00:22:35,147
Have you got everything you need?
Do you want the hall light left on?

378
00:22:35,197 --> 00:22:39,315
- Mark...
- No, right, sure. Of course.

379
00:22:39,357 --> 00:22:42,269
'She does look kind of great
in my pyjamas.

380
00:22:42,317 --> 00:22:44,467
'That's sick. Why is that sick? '

381
00:22:44,517 --> 00:22:46,712
Valerie, I-I was thinking...

382
00:22:46,757 --> 00:22:50,466
Oh, God, Jeremy, this is the best!

383
00:22:50,517 --> 00:22:52,985
Best ever!

384
00:22:54,197 --> 00:22:57,234
Yeah, so I was... The sofa, it's a bit...

385
00:22:57,277 --> 00:22:59,268
You are the daddy!

386
00:23:00,268 --> 00:23:10,268
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