1 00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:01,393 Oh, I would say, uh... 2 00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:04,980 He was busted nine or 10 times, 3 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,983 twice for possession of narcotics 4 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:11,487 and three, four times for obscenity. 5 00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:12,988 Um... 6 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,491 Ladies and gentlemen, Lenny Bruce. 7 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:16,909 (APPLAUSE) 8 00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:26,502 Did you know Eleanor Roosevelt gave Lou Gehrig the clap? 9 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,253 (CROWD LAUGHING) 10 00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:30,589 What did he say? Jesus Christ, that's cruel! 11 00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:34,218 Going that low for laughs. What's the point? That's bad taste. 12 00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:35,886 The point... 13 00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:38,889 The point is the suppression of words. 14 00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:40,390 Now, dig. 15 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,768 Here it is 1964, 16 00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:45,646 and every doctor I know tells me that a certain disease 17 00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:47,689 is on its way to becoming an epidemic again 18 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,483 when everybody knows, or they should know, 19 00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:51,902 that one shot in the ass knocks it out. Right? 20 00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:55,197 And yet, there it is. VD, right up there with the top 10. 21 00:01:55,573 --> 00:02:00,702 Why? Because nobody talks about it. Nobody even wants to say the word. 22 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,080 In fact, the community chest hits on you. 23 00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:07,084 Do you say, "Excuse me but how much of my dollar is going for the clap?" (LAUGHS) 24 00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,877 I don't think you do, man. 25 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,255 What we have to do is, we must start talking about it. 26 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:14,049 We need to get some of our national heroes 27 00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:16,718 to admit that they've had it. All right. 28 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,054 Eleanor Roosevelt gave Lou Gehrig the clap. 29 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,515 She also gave it to Chiang Kai-Shek. 30 00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:24,768 And he gave it to J. Edgar Hoover, man, 31 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:27,062 which is how it really spread. 32 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:30,274 All right. A boy gets the clap. Can't go to his father? 33 00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:32,025 Forget it man, he can't relate to his father. 34 00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:35,070 He's likely to go to some schmuck who sweeps up the drugstore. 35 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,196 Not even a druggist. 36 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,740 "Hey man, hey man, come here I got to talk to you." "What's the matter?" 37 00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:42,119 "Listen, I got the clap." "Oh Jesus. Where'd you get that?" 38 00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:45,330 "Painting a car, schmuck! What's the difference? I got it" 39 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:49,251 "What do you want from me?" "You work here. Give me some pills." 40 00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:50,752 "All right." 41 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:54,214 "Dexedrine spansules. Is this good?" 42 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:58,218 "It's all the same horseshit. Keeps you awake so you know you got it." 43 00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:01,305 "I want these pills because I got a good job. 44 00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:02,890 "I don't want to get laid off." 45 00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:06,476 "Where you working?" "The meat packing plant." 46 00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:09,146 Here's what we need. 47 00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:12,191 Jerry Lewis goes on television, 48 00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:15,152 and instead of getting hung up with muscular dystrophy, 49 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,279 he'd have a clapathon! 50 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,489 Forget it. It'll never happen. 51 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:23,118 Why? Because talking about it 52 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:26,038 makes you the worst person in the community. 53 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:27,998 INTERVIEWER: When did you meet Lenny? 54 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:33,545 It was back in 1951, Baltimore. 55 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,505 I was, uh, headlining... 56 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:39,009 Headlining? I was working at this club. 57 00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:41,637 A-one, two... A-one, two, three, four! 58 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,472 (UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS) 59 00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:47,017 Now, when the saints 60 00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:49,144 Go marchin' in, yeah! 61 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:52,314 Now, when the saints go marchin' in 62 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:09,414 Yeah! 63 00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:12,417 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 64 00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:15,879 Here's the moment you've been waiting for. 65 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,674 So may we present... 66 00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:20,926 Hot Honey Harlow! 67 00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:23,011 Let's hear it, everybody! 68 00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:25,847 (BURLESQUE MUSIC PLAYING) 69 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:02,295 Oh... 70 00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:04,005 Eddie... 71 00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:07,134 Look at that hair. 72 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:09,511 Who's the guy by the window? 73 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,681 Lenny Bruce. He's a comic. 74 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,062 What kind of comic? 75 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,522 Lousy. 76 00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:22,524 I think I know her. 77 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,900 Fake hair. 78 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,069 Really? 79 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,005 He's cute. 80 00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:46,798 Cute? He does crap... 81 00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:49,342 Old jokes. Lousy impressions. 82 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:52,095 I really had problems when I was a kid, you know. 83 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,181 It wasn't until I was eight years old 84 00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:57,058 that I figured out my name wasn't Shut Up. 85 00:07:57,518 --> 00:07:58,727 (SILENCE) 86 00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:02,522 All right, how about some bird impressions? 87 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,232 Uh, bobwhite. 88 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,650 (WHISTLES) 89 00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,278 Bobwhite backwards. 90 00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:09,696 (WHISTLES) 91 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,032 A duck. 92 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,160 A swallow. (GULPS) 93 00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:16,453 A goose. 94 00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:17,621 Wooo! 95 00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:22,250 Ever feel like you're in an amateur contest 96 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,419 and you're losing? 97 00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:29,633 Let's get back to the sure-fire stuff. 98 00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:32,385 Let's go to the show business hall of fame 99 00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:35,222 where the emcee is my good friend 100 00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:38,058 the old schnozola himself. 101 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,851 (DRUMROLL) 102 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,272 It's granite out there. 103 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,616 (AS JIMMY DURANTE) I went into the shoe store. 104 00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:58,620 I said, "Do you sell alligator shoes?" 105 00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:02,499 And the clerk said, "What size does your alligator wear?" 106 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,377 You're really something, Durante. 107 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:09,381 I'd like to introduce my favorite singer, 108 00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:11,007 Vaughan Monroe. 109 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,802 (PIANO PLAYING) 110 00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:17,973 (SCATTERED LAUGHTER) 111 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,850 Racing With The Moon... 112 00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:27,983 INTERVIEWER: If his act was lousy, 113 00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:30,402 then something must have attracted you. 114 00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,445 What was there about him? 115 00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:36,157 Well, he was just, um... 116 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:38,743 I don't know. 117 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,662 Huggable. 118 00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,581 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) 119 00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:32,816 (MOUTHING) 120 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:41,741 Thank you. 121 00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:44,411 My mother's a comic. 122 00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:46,246 I got out of service, 123 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,248 changed my name. 124 00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:50,750 What's your real name? 125 00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,128 Uh... Leonard Alfred Schneider. 126 00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:56,381 Well, why did you change it? 127 00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,008 - Too Jewish. - (LAUGHS) 128 00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,636 I like the name Bruce. 129 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,889 Bruce sounds like the captain of the football team. 130 00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:06,975 That's why I changed it, 131 00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:10,645 but the first Bruce I met tried to kiss me. 132 00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:14,941 418, please. 133 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,360 What hotel are you at? 134 00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:18,528 Uh... 135 00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:20,321 621, please. 136 00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,533 Here? You're kidding? 137 00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:24,659 No. 138 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,332 Well? 139 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:32,500 Well? 140 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,377 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 141 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,299 Aren't you going to answer it? 142 00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:40,425 HONEY: Why? 143 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:49,601 How do you people really feel about doing it? 144 00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:52,187 Isn't that about 145 00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:56,399 the dirtiest thing we could do to each other? 146 00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:59,194 I mean, it's really not nice, doing it. 147 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,489 The worst insult is, "Fuck you, mister." 148 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,200 If I wanted to hurt you, 149 00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:08,661 I should say, "Un-fuck you, mister." 150 00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:12,624 Because "fuck you" Is really nice, man. 151 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,959 Hello, Ma! It's me! 152 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,711 I just got back. 153 00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,379 Aw, fuck you, Ma! 154 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:20,381 Sure, I mean it. 155 00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:21,883 Is Pop there? 156 00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:25,136 Aw, Pop, my Pop... 157 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:27,222 Fuck you, too, Pop. 158 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:35,814 What? 159 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:41,277 I can't believe it. 160 00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,363 I just cannot believe it. 161 00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:45,281 That I'm eating? 162 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,492 Yeah, that you're eating. 163 00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:50,161 No, that you're here and I'm with you. 164 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:52,497 I can't believe it. 165 00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:57,669 Do you know the first time I saw you in the cafeteria, 166 00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,921 I wanted to go up and say, 167 00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:02,799 "I'm Lenny Bruce. I got the hots for you." 168 00:14:04,301 --> 00:14:06,094 Why didn't I do that? 169 00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,638 Why didn't you do that? 170 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,809 It would've saved time. 171 00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:14,769 It would've saved time. 172 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,021 I know why. 173 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:19,941 Shy. 174 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,067 Yes. 175 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,611 I've always been shy. 176 00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,446 Even as a kid? 177 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,365 Even as a kid. 178 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:29,659 I've tried to get over it, 179 00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:32,370 but I've always been very shy. 180 00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:35,790 When you get right down to it, 181 00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,667 I'm just... 182 00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,087 Basically... 183 00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:43,798 A very shy... 184 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:46,467 Person. 185 00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:49,679 Ho ho. 186 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,308 Don't you have to go to work? 187 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:56,269 Yes, but I should stay here 188 00:14:56,770 --> 00:15:00,690 and try to solve this problem of extreme shyness. 189 00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:04,986 Maybe I shouldn't be telling you some of this, 190 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,988 but, uh... 191 00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,866 It was quite a week. 192 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,004 Honey. 193 00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:26,716 Listen, someday I'd like you to meet my mother. 194 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:27,884 (LAUGHING) 195 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:30,094 INTERVIEWER: You stayed together then? 196 00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,972 No. I went to Miami to work, 197 00:15:33,557 --> 00:15:36,142 but Lenny called every day. 198 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:40,772 One day, he said he was coming down. 199 00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:43,274 He couldn't stand being without me. 200 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,485 We're all the same schmuck... 201 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:49,864 And it cracks me up 202 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,283 that we try to be unique 203 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,452 when we're all the same cat. 204 00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,790 Every cat's got that one chick 205 00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:00,792 who really busted up his ass. 206 00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:06,673 Wow! 207 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,900 Oh, he's here! 208 00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:33,408 Just a minute. 209 00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:35,785 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) 210 00:16:38,914 --> 00:16:40,748 There he stands in his underwear, 211 00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,667 pleading like a dummy. 212 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,713 "Please, will you touch it once? 213 00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:49,090 "You never touch it." 214 00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:53,052 "Even when I don't feel like touching it?" "Yeah." 215 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:56,055 "Even when I don't get any pleasure from it?" 216 00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:58,307 "Yeah, I need it touched. 217 00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:02,020 "If I wait for you, you'd never touch it." 218 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,105 "Oh, come on, I touch it a lot. 219 00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:07,942 "No, you don't. You used to touch it a lot. 220 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:11,029 "Now it's a big favor to get you to touch it. 221 00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:14,115 "It's got to be a holiday, like Armistice Day." 222 00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:17,201 "Well, all right. 223 00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:20,121 "If you're gonna make me feel guilty, 224 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,832 "bring it over here. I'll touch it." 225 00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:26,461 "Don't do me any favors. 226 00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:29,255 "I'll just touch it myself." 227 00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:32,508 That's it, man. 228 00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:35,303 We're all the same schmuck. 229 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:40,016 Oh, my God! 230 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,101 Oh, man! 231 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,228 Is that an album cover! 232 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,231 Why don't you come in, big boy, 233 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,567 and pick some flowers? 234 00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:51,819 Oh, yeah. 235 00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,155 Oh, yeah. 236 00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:57,992 It's a Shiksa goddess. 237 00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:02,663 That's when I came into the picture. 238 00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:06,417 In what capacity? What was your relationship? 239 00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:09,337 Personal manager. Friend. 240 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:12,298 You know, 241 00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:15,218 the relationship between a client and an agent 242 00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:17,136 is a very delicate one, 243 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:18,679 very delicate. 244 00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:23,351 You don't know how far to get involved 245 00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:25,311 in their personal lives. 246 00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:28,064 Lenny, you name it, she's done it. 247 00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:29,982 The whole bit. 248 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,527 At 15, she'd already done time. 249 00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,613 You can just imagine. 250 00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:38,825 I'd like to be more than just your agent. 251 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:40,535 I care about you. 252 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:43,371 Otherwise, I wouldn't say these things. 253 00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:47,542 Artie, did you hire a private eye? 254 00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:49,544 I didn't have to. 255 00:18:51,004 --> 00:18:54,215 I heard you two were hanging around a lot together. 256 00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,636 It's none of my business, 257 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,847 but I asked around about her. 258 00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:03,182 I started hearing these things. 259 00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:09,605 One guy said he went to a party with her, 260 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,900 and she, uh... 261 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,820 Do I have to spell it out? 262 00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:20,533 Did my mother have anything to do with this? 263 00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:22,201 Sally? No. 264 00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:26,247 Lenny, I'm not making this stuff up. 265 00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:28,124 This isn't pleasant. 266 00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,751 If you don't believe me, 267 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,712 check it out yourself. 268 00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:34,338 I don't have to. 269 00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:36,507 She already told me herself. 270 00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:39,760 But, uh... Thanks. 271 00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:45,141 I got involved in a lot of things I wish I didn't, 272 00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:50,563 very painful things in his personal life. 273 00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,274 INTERVIEWER: It seems you really cared for him. 274 00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:58,196 Yeah. I really loved that guy. 275 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,324 Honey. 276 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:02,617 Hmm? 277 00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:05,077 Let's get married. 278 00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:08,080 What? 279 00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:10,541 I was a June bride. 280 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:14,712 I remember I was wearing a bengaline suit, 281 00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,089 had on high heels... 282 00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:19,133 The judge was Judge Liddy. 283 00:20:19,259 --> 00:20:20,885 You remember everything? 284 00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:22,845 Yeah. A lot of it. 285 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:27,433 They've been sitting there for 15 minutes! 286 00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,228 Why doesn't she let him come up? 287 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:34,482 Give her a chance. She's probably lovely. 288 00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:36,192 I knew about her. 289 00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:40,154 I figured, if that's who he loves, 290 00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:41,989 that's fine with me. 291 00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:44,325 What can they be talking about? 292 00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,993 About us, dummy! 293 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:49,372 Jesus! There goes the hair! 294 00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:52,875 Mother's on all the time. 295 00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:55,920 She probably won't know you're there. 296 00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:57,713 Then I'll stay here. 297 00:20:57,798 --> 00:20:59,548 You gotta meet Aunt Mema. 298 00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:01,968 She'll do her feh. 299 00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:04,345 "Feh," what's that? 300 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,055 Her impression of a Jewish seagull. 301 00:21:06,139 --> 00:21:08,724 Feh! Feh! Let's go, man. 302 00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:11,185 Lenny. 303 00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:18,234 Do me a favor? 304 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:20,736 Please don't call me man. 305 00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:23,656 I really wanted her to like me. 306 00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:26,325 In-laws, you know. 307 00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:33,124 I gotta tell you about the first time 308 00:21:33,208 --> 00:21:35,501 this schmuck ever worked a club. 309 00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:38,879 Never been on stage... 310 00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:41,382 I'm working the Victory Club. 311 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:43,634 Oooh, what a joint! 312 00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:46,554 The customers were so tough, 313 00:21:46,596 --> 00:21:47,972 they wore wool suits in the summer 314 00:21:48,056 --> 00:21:49,807 - with no underwear. - With no underwear. 315 00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:51,267 You know it, 316 00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:53,602 but I'm telling it! 317 00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:55,938 The emcee had car trouble... 318 00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:59,275 The police found marijuana in the trunk. 319 00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:01,777 You haven't heard that before. 320 00:22:01,862 --> 00:22:03,321 How long did you know Leonard 321 00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:05,281 before you got married? 322 00:22:06,908 --> 00:22:08,159 You're on your own. 323 00:22:08,243 --> 00:22:11,329 Mema, I'm on, okay? 324 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:14,582 I'm in the bar. In walks Lenny. 325 00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:18,252 I had on the shirt with the Billy Eckstein collar. 326 00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:21,714 I says, "The emcee didn't show. 327 00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:23,841 "I'll introduce you. 328 00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:25,926 "You introduce the acts." 329 00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,429 He says, "Are you kidding?" 330 00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,681 I says, "There's nothing to it. 331 00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:33,976 "Don't be funny. Just straight intros. 332 00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:38,022 "How's about a hand for Schmutz and Drek?" 333 00:22:38,106 --> 00:22:40,024 Drek is Yiddish for shit. 334 00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:41,275 - (SLAP) - Ouch! 335 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,110 Finally, he says okay. 336 00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:46,781 Seconds later, I'm wretching over the shoes. 337 00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:50,951 - Leonard! Feh! - Blah! There it is. 338 00:22:50,994 --> 00:22:53,954 The star is on! 339 00:22:53,997 --> 00:22:57,917 I'm up there with the microphone, 340 00:22:57,959 --> 00:22:59,835 and I'm saying to everybody, 341 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:02,213 "The emcee couldn't make it tonight, 342 00:23:02,297 --> 00:23:04,340 "but luckily, a good friend 343 00:23:04,424 --> 00:23:06,884 "and a funny guy..." 344 00:23:06,968 --> 00:23:08,803 Bullshit! You said... Ouch... 345 00:23:08,845 --> 00:23:10,805 "The world's funniest guy." 346 00:23:10,972 --> 00:23:12,723 You're right! Right! 347 00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:14,683 "Leonard Alfred Schneider, 348 00:23:14,768 --> 00:23:18,187 "in town for the Sullivan show, 349 00:23:18,271 --> 00:23:19,980 "happens to be here." 350 00:23:20,023 --> 00:23:22,024 You see what she did to me? 351 00:23:22,109 --> 00:23:26,320 I have never been on stage in my life 352 00:23:26,363 --> 00:23:28,322 and now I gotta try to be funny. 353 00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,157 You were so nervous, 354 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,828 you tripped over the mic cord 355 00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:36,247 and knocked us flat on our asses! 356 00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:39,417 It's true. 357 00:23:40,752 --> 00:23:42,086 It's true. 358 00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:44,588 You never heard such a laugh. 359 00:23:44,714 --> 00:23:48,342 How long did you know each other before you got married? 360 00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:50,970 We must know the answer! 361 00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:54,140 How long had we known each other? 362 00:23:55,058 --> 00:23:59,186 About half an hour. I picked him up on the T train after he exposed his putz. 363 00:23:59,354 --> 00:24:00,688 Terrific! 364 00:24:00,730 --> 00:24:01,814 Putz? 365 00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:04,191 I love it! Putz! Terrific! 366 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:05,943 It's true, Mema. 367 00:24:06,027 --> 00:24:08,737 I gave her one of these. 368 00:24:09,906 --> 00:24:11,157 Feh! 369 00:24:11,616 --> 00:24:14,326 Want to hear a loud feh? I went... 370 00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:15,703 Feh! 371 00:24:15,745 --> 00:24:17,079 That's a loud feh. 372 00:24:17,164 --> 00:24:19,290 Can I show Sophie? 373 00:24:19,374 --> 00:24:21,292 Sophie's her best friend. 374 00:24:21,376 --> 00:24:24,211 Sophie, Mema doesn't like how I met my wife! 375 00:24:24,254 --> 00:24:28,382 Mema, you kissed it when I was little. 376 00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:33,095 Oh, Lenny, she's a terrific girl! 377 00:24:33,638 --> 00:24:36,432 Your hipness is tested 378 00:24:36,516 --> 00:24:39,143 when your girlfriend becomes your wife. 379 00:24:39,644 --> 00:24:42,313 Wow! That's a new one. Why? 380 00:24:44,816 --> 00:24:46,734 You're walking around up there 381 00:24:46,818 --> 00:24:48,444 with your jugs and your pupick sticking out 382 00:24:48,528 --> 00:24:50,488 and guys are watching you 383 00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:53,532 with newspapers and hats in their laps. 384 00:24:54,117 --> 00:24:55,659 You're jealous! 385 00:24:56,786 --> 00:24:58,412 Oh, I like that. 386 00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:01,457 So I thought maybe 387 00:25:01,541 --> 00:25:03,584 we could work something out 388 00:25:03,793 --> 00:25:05,794 that we could do together. 389 00:25:07,088 --> 00:25:08,797 What, a double act? 390 00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:09,965 Yeah. 391 00:25:10,050 --> 00:25:12,384 You talk to the average guy. 392 00:25:12,761 --> 00:25:16,722 "Hey, look. Isn't that a pretty chick?" 393 00:25:17,474 --> 00:25:19,558 "Oh, yeah. She's beautiful. 394 00:25:19,893 --> 00:25:22,394 "She's got a real pretty face and... 395 00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:23,938 "Nutty jugs." 396 00:25:26,024 --> 00:25:27,775 "Would you marry a woman like that?" 397 00:25:27,817 --> 00:25:29,193 "Oh, yeah!" 398 00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:31,820 "You'd let her dress that way?" 399 00:25:31,905 --> 00:25:34,448 "No! I'd knock her right on her ass!" 400 00:25:36,993 --> 00:25:38,786 "Why'd you dig her?" 401 00:25:38,828 --> 00:25:41,705 "Her jugs were sticking out." 402 00:25:42,624 --> 00:25:44,458 "But she shouldn't dress that way now?" 403 00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:46,835 "No! That's my wife!" 404 00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:48,712 Well... 405 00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:51,966 I'll have to cancel some of my, uh... 406 00:25:52,133 --> 00:25:53,467 Forget it. 407 00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:57,304 (GIGGLING) 408 00:25:59,516 --> 00:26:02,226 Oh, okay, Daddy. A double act. 409 00:26:02,978 --> 00:26:04,019 Okay? 410 00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:06,480 That's where the conflict starts. 411 00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:08,357 We all want for a wife 412 00:26:08,942 --> 00:26:11,443 a combination Sunday school teacher 413 00:26:11,486 --> 00:26:13,821 and $500-a-night hooker. 414 00:26:14,573 --> 00:26:18,367 He started working with me to be a singer. 415 00:26:19,202 --> 00:26:21,912 He played like Flo Ziegfeld or somebody. 416 00:26:22,956 --> 00:26:25,416 We were together 24 hours a day. 417 00:26:26,209 --> 00:26:30,337 We started working around. Club dates, Catskills... 418 00:26:30,755 --> 00:26:32,172 And, um... 419 00:26:32,215 --> 00:26:33,966 It wasn't a bad act. 420 00:26:34,092 --> 00:26:36,719 Really. Not a bad act. 421 00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:42,349 Coming from a star like you, Mr. Hart, 422 00:26:42,392 --> 00:26:44,268 that means a lot to us. 423 00:26:44,394 --> 00:26:47,396 That's a very pretty little lady you got there. 424 00:26:48,356 --> 00:26:49,857 Very pretty. 425 00:26:50,025 --> 00:26:51,191 Thanks. 426 00:26:51,234 --> 00:26:53,611 Maybe I'll use you sometime. 427 00:26:53,862 --> 00:26:55,070 Thanks. 428 00:26:55,488 --> 00:26:57,698 'Course, I love you, Lenny. 429 00:26:57,782 --> 00:27:02,202 You younger guys make this business a pleasure for me. 430 00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:07,541 Who wants to be a king with no princes? 431 00:27:08,251 --> 00:27:11,128 I discussed that on Barry Gray's show. 432 00:27:11,212 --> 00:27:12,755 Did you catch it? 433 00:27:12,839 --> 00:27:14,548 She never misses it. 434 00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:16,508 - Right? - Right. 435 00:27:16,551 --> 00:27:19,053 Anyway, you're so talented. 436 00:27:19,220 --> 00:27:21,555 Don't get off on the wrong foot. 437 00:27:21,598 --> 00:27:24,224 Work clean. Don't resort to using dirt. 438 00:27:24,934 --> 00:27:27,394 There's a big beef about your show. 439 00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:32,566 I stopped Goldstein from filing a bad report on you. 440 00:27:32,776 --> 00:27:34,735 I appreciate that, Sherman. 441 00:27:34,778 --> 00:27:36,612 It was just a mistake. 442 00:27:36,696 --> 00:27:40,491 I was bored doing the same old jokes. 443 00:27:40,575 --> 00:27:44,244 I took off my jacket. 444 00:27:44,746 --> 00:27:47,915 I said, "Now for my jacket off bit." 445 00:27:48,833 --> 00:27:50,626 The mic picked it up. 446 00:27:50,752 --> 00:27:52,503 The band cracked up. 447 00:27:52,587 --> 00:27:53,837 I looked off at Honey... 448 00:27:53,922 --> 00:27:55,506 And I cracked up. 449 00:27:55,590 --> 00:27:57,132 Then I cracked up. 450 00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:58,884 I know it looked the worst. 451 00:27:58,927 --> 00:28:00,678 That's very stupid. 452 00:28:01,596 --> 00:28:03,722 A comic has to use his head. 453 00:28:03,932 --> 00:28:07,267 Up there, you gotta be thinking every second. 454 00:28:18,029 --> 00:28:19,780 Thank you. Thank you. 455 00:28:20,782 --> 00:28:25,536 One of the all-time greats of show business is here. 456 00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:28,247 He got started in this hotel. 457 00:28:28,289 --> 00:28:30,624 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Entertainment himself, 458 00:28:30,667 --> 00:28:32,960 Sherman Hart, ladies and gentlemen! 459 00:28:33,044 --> 00:28:34,503 Sherman Hart! 460 00:28:34,629 --> 00:28:35,963 (CROWD CHEERING) 461 00:28:37,465 --> 00:28:38,841 (WHISTLING) 462 00:28:44,347 --> 00:28:45,931 You're wonderful! 463 00:28:46,349 --> 00:28:48,016 Oh, you're heaven! 464 00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:51,145 Beautiful audience. 465 00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:53,981 Lenny, I love what you're doing up there. 466 00:28:54,190 --> 00:28:55,774 You'll love it, too, 467 00:28:55,817 --> 00:28:57,568 when you see it on my comedy hour, 468 00:28:57,652 --> 00:28:59,403 Wednesday night, CBS, 469 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:06,410 at 9:00 Eastern, 7:00 Rocky Mountain, 470 00:29:06,494 --> 00:29:08,245 and 4:00 a.m. in Tokyo. 471 00:29:08,329 --> 00:29:11,081 Tokyo! Eeeyaaah! Eeeyaaah! 472 00:29:14,502 --> 00:29:17,337 Oh, you're beautiful! Thank you. Thank you. 473 00:29:17,422 --> 00:29:19,590 Lenny, do me a favor. 474 00:29:19,674 --> 00:29:21,300 Talk a little slower. 475 00:29:21,342 --> 00:29:23,385 I can't write that fast. 476 00:29:24,387 --> 00:29:26,847 Sherman Hart, ladies and gentlemen! 477 00:29:27,265 --> 00:29:28,974 Oh, you're wonderful! 478 00:29:29,017 --> 00:29:30,934 You're super! Thank you! 479 00:29:31,019 --> 00:29:32,603 Go get 'em, kid. 480 00:29:34,230 --> 00:29:36,064 You know, folks, just to digress for a second. 481 00:29:37,859 --> 00:29:39,693 I'm new at this business, 482 00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:41,153 and I've got a lot to learn. 483 00:29:41,196 --> 00:29:42,654 But thanks to Sherman, 484 00:29:42,697 --> 00:29:46,492 I realize I made a mistake here the other night. 485 00:29:47,410 --> 00:29:50,412 If I offended any of you, 486 00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:53,916 I'd really like to apologize. 487 00:29:54,876 --> 00:29:57,252 So, by way of making it up to you, 488 00:30:00,298 --> 00:30:02,508 I think I'm gonna piss on you. 489 00:30:03,885 --> 00:30:05,511 (MURMURS IN AUDIENCE) 490 00:30:06,304 --> 00:30:07,387 Why? 491 00:30:07,430 --> 00:30:09,431 I want to get out of here. 492 00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:12,184 Why would you do such a terrible thing? 493 00:30:12,227 --> 00:30:14,269 Especially on the high holiday weekend! 494 00:30:14,354 --> 00:30:16,897 Everybody will be warned. 495 00:30:17,065 --> 00:30:18,899 You won't work another room! 496 00:30:19,567 --> 00:30:21,693 You're finished in show business! 497 00:30:21,736 --> 00:30:23,487 (LAUGHING) Oh, no! No! 498 00:30:23,571 --> 00:30:25,239 Not that! Not that! 499 00:30:25,907 --> 00:30:27,115 (LAUGHING) 500 00:30:27,325 --> 00:30:28,867 Okay, you'll see! 501 00:30:29,744 --> 00:30:32,996 Things will be rough with your dirty mouth 502 00:30:33,081 --> 00:30:34,873 and your no-talent wife! 503 00:30:44,217 --> 00:30:45,259 Come here, Jack. 504 00:30:46,094 --> 00:30:48,345 There isn't one Puerto Rican in your kitchen 505 00:30:48,429 --> 00:30:50,180 that hasn't shtupped your wife. 506 00:30:50,431 --> 00:30:51,807 Thanks for everything. 507 00:30:51,891 --> 00:30:54,226 Are you all right? 508 00:30:54,644 --> 00:30:56,728 Okay, what is dirty? 509 00:30:57,397 --> 00:30:59,022 And what is clean? 510 00:31:01,401 --> 00:31:03,777 I would rather my kid watches a stag movie 511 00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:07,656 than a clean movie like King of Kings. 512 00:31:09,450 --> 00:31:11,493 King of Kings is full of killing. 513 00:31:11,578 --> 00:31:14,955 I don't want my kid to kill Christ when he comes back. 514 00:31:15,248 --> 00:31:17,207 That's what happens in King of Kings. 515 00:31:17,292 --> 00:31:19,042 Show me a stag movie 516 00:31:19,127 --> 00:31:21,044 where anybody gets punched or killed. 517 00:31:21,796 --> 00:31:24,006 You might see someone tied up, 518 00:31:25,550 --> 00:31:27,259 or tapped lightly with a belt, 519 00:31:27,677 --> 00:31:31,138 but for the most part, 520 00:31:31,764 --> 00:31:34,725 it's a lot of hugging and kissing, 521 00:31:35,935 --> 00:31:37,728 moaning and groaning. 522 00:31:38,479 --> 00:31:39,730 Oh, God, 523 00:31:39,814 --> 00:31:45,193 and then that potential instrument of death is revealed, 524 00:31:46,404 --> 00:31:47,779 the pillow. 525 00:31:47,822 --> 00:31:49,114 (CROWD LAUGHING) 526 00:31:49,157 --> 00:31:51,074 The guy might smother the chick 527 00:31:51,159 --> 00:31:52,993 like in horror flicks. 528 00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:57,539 He gently slides that pillow under the girl's ass, 529 00:31:58,833 --> 00:32:00,459 and they go off. 530 00:32:00,710 --> 00:32:02,836 Nobody gets hurt or killed, 531 00:32:03,171 --> 00:32:04,671 and it's nice. 532 00:32:05,590 --> 00:32:07,341 And that's the end. 533 00:32:09,844 --> 00:32:11,845 - (HONKS HORN) - (SCREAMS) 534 00:32:30,239 --> 00:32:31,990 Somebody help! 535 00:32:33,034 --> 00:32:34,868 Please, somebody help! 536 00:32:42,627 --> 00:32:45,212 I had cuts all over my arms, my legs. 537 00:32:45,254 --> 00:32:47,381 I had a big gash across here. 538 00:32:49,342 --> 00:32:51,259 My bladder was punctured. 539 00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:54,930 I was in shock for three weeks. 540 00:32:56,391 --> 00:32:58,892 It was very dramatic. 541 00:33:03,898 --> 00:33:05,816 Cold coffee, Mr. Bruce? 542 00:33:05,900 --> 00:33:07,234 Thank you. 543 00:33:10,905 --> 00:33:12,572 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 544 00:33:14,492 --> 00:33:16,827 Yes. Okay, I will. 545 00:33:17,370 --> 00:33:19,496 Mr. Bruce, you can go in now. 546 00:33:30,967 --> 00:33:32,342 What's that? 547 00:33:32,427 --> 00:33:33,677 Morphine. 548 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,607 Some people have all the fun. 549 00:33:49,527 --> 00:33:50,902 I love you. 550 00:33:57,952 --> 00:33:59,286 Mr. Bruce. 551 00:34:00,955 --> 00:34:02,831 Don't leave your coat. 552 00:34:02,957 --> 00:34:04,332 Oh, thanks. 553 00:34:07,462 --> 00:34:08,795 Thank you. 554 00:34:08,963 --> 00:34:10,505 You're welcome. 555 00:34:26,647 --> 00:34:27,939 Oh, shit. 556 00:34:28,483 --> 00:34:33,320 Face it. Guys are different. Ladies don't understand this. 557 00:34:33,988 --> 00:34:35,947 Ladies think cheating means 558 00:34:35,990 --> 00:34:38,700 hugging and kissing and liking somebody. 559 00:34:38,993 --> 00:34:41,453 You have to at least like somebody. 560 00:34:42,497 --> 00:34:44,623 Guys are detached. They're different. 561 00:34:44,665 --> 00:34:46,041 You put a guy on a desert island, 562 00:34:46,167 --> 00:34:49,669 he'll do it to mud, a chicken, anything. 563 00:34:51,130 --> 00:34:52,547 So, if you know this about guys, 564 00:34:52,632 --> 00:34:57,344 would you really feel hurt to find your husband with a chicken? 565 00:34:59,013 --> 00:35:01,389 "A chicken in our bed! 566 00:35:01,516 --> 00:35:03,141 "Don't touch me! 567 00:35:03,976 --> 00:35:06,978 "You want dinner? Tell your chicken to get it." 568 00:35:08,022 --> 00:35:09,773 In New York, it's illegal. 569 00:35:09,857 --> 00:35:12,359 "Seeming sexual intercourse with an animal, 570 00:35:12,443 --> 00:35:15,278 "to wit, a chicken." That's the literal. 571 00:35:18,366 --> 00:35:20,700 So how can you even fantasize it? 572 00:35:22,787 --> 00:35:24,204 They're too short. 573 00:35:24,288 --> 00:35:26,164 "How come you're alone tonight? 574 00:35:26,207 --> 00:35:28,166 "Your chicken leave town?" 575 00:35:28,543 --> 00:35:31,086 "Stop with that chicken. I was drunk. 576 00:35:32,296 --> 00:35:34,840 "Anyway, I was thinking of you." 577 00:35:35,758 --> 00:35:37,217 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) 578 00:35:40,054 --> 00:35:43,306 Do I have to use this? I can walk. 579 00:35:44,058 --> 00:35:45,892 The rules, Mrs. Bruce. 580 00:35:46,519 --> 00:35:48,311 Don't wanna break the rules. 581 00:35:49,105 --> 00:35:50,480 Here we go. 582 00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:53,567 Take it easy. Easy, easy. 583 00:35:54,068 --> 00:35:55,527 You okay? 584 00:35:55,570 --> 00:35:57,362 Goodbye, Mrs. Bruce, 585 00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:58,738 Mr. Bruce. 586 00:35:59,073 --> 00:36:01,116 It's been nice meeting you. 587 00:36:01,367 --> 00:36:03,243 Thanks for everything. 588 00:36:03,369 --> 00:36:04,578 Thanks. 589 00:36:15,006 --> 00:36:16,423 You made it with her, didn't you? 590 00:36:16,507 --> 00:36:19,676 Deny it. Flat out deny it. 591 00:36:20,094 --> 00:36:22,596 If you love your wife, deny it. 592 00:36:23,097 --> 00:36:25,265 If they got pictures, deny it. 593 00:36:25,766 --> 00:36:27,601 It bugged me at first. 594 00:36:28,102 --> 00:36:29,352 It hurt. 595 00:36:29,604 --> 00:36:31,938 If they walk in on you, deny it. 596 00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:36,610 Just say this strange chick came in and said, 597 00:36:36,736 --> 00:36:40,739 "I have malaria. Lie on top of me or I'll die." 598 00:36:41,657 --> 00:36:44,618 Later I found out why he did it. 599 00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:48,955 Chances are, man, they'll believe it. 600 00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:51,583 Do you know why? 601 00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:53,668 He needed to prove himself. 602 00:36:54,795 --> 00:36:56,713 They want to believe it. 603 00:36:56,797 --> 00:36:58,256 INTERVIEWER: Insecurity, probably. 604 00:36:58,299 --> 00:36:59,341 Insecurity. 605 00:37:00,468 --> 00:37:04,721 INTERVIEWER: When you left the hospital, you had a nice surprise, right? 606 00:37:04,972 --> 00:37:06,097 Yeah. 607 00:37:06,140 --> 00:37:07,224 Feel okay? 608 00:37:07,308 --> 00:37:08,725 Oh, a little weak. 609 00:37:08,809 --> 00:37:10,477 Don't look until I tell you. 610 00:37:10,519 --> 00:37:11,561 Okay. 611 00:37:13,814 --> 00:37:14,898 Now. 612 00:37:15,650 --> 00:37:17,484 A big black Cadillac. 613 00:37:18,986 --> 00:37:20,320 It's ours. 614 00:37:23,658 --> 00:37:25,700 Was it the insurance money? 615 00:37:25,952 --> 00:37:27,285 $7,000. 616 00:37:27,703 --> 00:37:28,828 Two more accidents like this 617 00:37:28,871 --> 00:37:30,747 and we're set for life. 618 00:37:33,042 --> 00:37:35,418 - It's... It's the most! - I love it. 619 00:37:35,836 --> 00:37:37,629 You should have seen the salesman. 620 00:37:37,672 --> 00:37:39,506 He said, "This is the same kind of car 621 00:37:39,548 --> 00:37:41,883 "Ike and Dick drive. 622 00:37:42,009 --> 00:37:43,510 "Take it from Fat Boy. 623 00:37:43,552 --> 00:37:47,681 "It's only been used in a suicide pact. 624 00:37:48,015 --> 00:37:49,182 "There's just a little lipstick 625 00:37:49,267 --> 00:37:51,184 "around the exhaust pipe." 626 00:37:54,897 --> 00:37:56,481 Where we going, Fat Boy? 627 00:37:56,524 --> 00:37:59,276 First, Fat Boy's taking you to the motel. 628 00:37:59,860 --> 00:38:01,194 Where he'll give it to you 629 00:38:01,237 --> 00:38:04,281 the same way he gives it to the public. 630 00:38:05,533 --> 00:38:07,534 And in the same location. 631 00:38:07,743 --> 00:38:08,785 Promise? 632 00:38:08,869 --> 00:38:10,370 I promise. Honk honk. 633 00:38:11,789 --> 00:38:13,331 Then where are we going? 634 00:38:13,708 --> 00:38:15,292 Then fat boy's taking you 635 00:38:15,376 --> 00:38:18,169 to the great big used car lot in the sky. 636 00:38:18,504 --> 00:38:19,879 You know where that is? 637 00:38:20,506 --> 00:38:21,881 California. 638 00:38:23,217 --> 00:38:24,217 California? 639 00:38:24,302 --> 00:38:25,927 Come on, Fat Boy. 640 00:38:27,221 --> 00:38:29,014 I love you, Fat Boy. 641 00:38:29,432 --> 00:38:31,933 We're off to California. New life. 642 00:38:32,018 --> 00:38:35,353 We're working our way across the country, 643 00:38:35,396 --> 00:38:37,731 playing these really dinky clubs. 644 00:38:38,232 --> 00:38:39,899 We usually bombed, 645 00:38:40,234 --> 00:38:42,569 but it was kind of fun, you know. 646 00:38:44,864 --> 00:38:46,948 That's where it all started. 647 00:38:48,617 --> 00:38:51,328 We were working this club in Detroit, 648 00:38:51,746 --> 00:38:54,205 clowning around in the dressing room, 649 00:38:54,248 --> 00:38:56,708 and this drummer says, 650 00:38:56,751 --> 00:38:59,794 "You cats want to try something groovy?" 651 00:39:00,254 --> 00:39:02,213 And we said, "Sure." 652 00:39:02,256 --> 00:39:04,674 He hands us these little straws. 653 00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:06,926 We started sniffing this stuff 654 00:39:07,762 --> 00:39:09,387 up our noses, you know. 655 00:39:09,430 --> 00:39:10,764 Was it cocaine? 656 00:39:10,848 --> 00:39:14,267 No. It was heroin. Stuff. 657 00:39:15,269 --> 00:39:17,312 How did that make you feel? 658 00:39:18,272 --> 00:39:20,357 I sort of went bananas, 659 00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:22,817 crying, jumping up and down, 660 00:39:22,902 --> 00:39:24,652 stamping all around. 661 00:39:25,279 --> 00:39:27,197 Lenny started laughing. 662 00:39:27,281 --> 00:39:29,449 It was kind of fun, you know. 663 00:39:30,284 --> 00:39:31,618 (LAUGHTER) 664 00:39:34,288 --> 00:39:35,830 (RADIO PLAYING) 665 00:39:48,010 --> 00:39:49,135 Wow! 666 00:39:49,178 --> 00:39:51,471 Before we're done with this town, 667 00:39:51,555 --> 00:39:54,808 your jugs will be in cement at Grauman's Chinese. 668 00:39:55,267 --> 00:39:58,311 We bought pots and pans and dishes 669 00:39:59,814 --> 00:40:02,273 and started setting up housekeeping. 670 00:40:03,150 --> 00:40:06,861 It was terrific for a while, and then... 671 00:40:07,988 --> 00:40:09,656 Want to see a picture I took of Lenny? 672 00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:11,241 And then what? 673 00:40:13,077 --> 00:40:15,829 Well, the double act wasn't getting anywhere. 674 00:40:15,871 --> 00:40:18,081 We'd gone through our savings. 675 00:40:18,165 --> 00:40:21,167 So I went back to work stripping. 676 00:40:22,294 --> 00:40:24,587 Lenny took whatever jobs he could. 677 00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:26,756 We got in with this crowd, 678 00:40:27,716 --> 00:40:30,802 you know, show people, musicians, stuff like that. 679 00:40:30,845 --> 00:40:35,140 And they were all messing around, 680 00:40:35,224 --> 00:40:37,851 fixing, stuff like that. 681 00:41:01,750 --> 00:41:05,253 You do things on dope you normally wouldn't do. 682 00:41:10,885 --> 00:41:12,093 LENNY: Why not? 683 00:41:14,930 --> 00:41:17,265 HONEY: I just don't want to, that's all. 684 00:41:19,226 --> 00:41:20,727 LENNY: It'll be nice. 685 00:41:23,355 --> 00:41:25,857 Why do you keep pushing this, Lenny? 686 00:41:28,652 --> 00:41:30,111 I don't know. 687 00:41:31,405 --> 00:41:33,198 A little excitement. 688 00:41:33,741 --> 00:41:35,492 It'd be good for us. 689 00:41:39,747 --> 00:41:41,623 I don't think we can handle it. 690 00:41:43,250 --> 00:41:45,251 Honey, that's very unhip. 691 00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:49,005 Maybe I'm not hip. 692 00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:53,468 Do you love me? 693 00:41:55,679 --> 00:41:56,763 Yeah. 694 00:41:57,932 --> 00:42:00,475 Well, don't you know that I love you? 695 00:42:04,146 --> 00:42:05,271 Yeah. 696 00:42:13,113 --> 00:42:14,113 So? 697 00:44:58,112 --> 00:44:59,487 Now, dykes. 698 00:44:59,947 --> 00:45:01,447 I like dykes. 699 00:45:02,199 --> 00:45:04,075 How could you say that? 700 00:45:05,119 --> 00:45:07,620 Lenny, Jesus Christ! 701 00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:10,915 You were the one that talked me into these freak scenes. 702 00:45:11,041 --> 00:45:13,167 I didn't do too much talking. 703 00:45:15,629 --> 00:45:17,714 Oh, God. I knew it. 704 00:45:18,799 --> 00:45:20,591 I told you what would happen. 705 00:45:21,969 --> 00:45:23,720 You didn't tell me you'd love it so much. 706 00:45:24,179 --> 00:45:25,972 Will Rogers said, 707 00:45:26,306 --> 00:45:28,641 "I never met a dyke I didn't like." 708 00:45:29,143 --> 00:45:30,309 HONEY: You're crazy! 709 00:45:30,644 --> 00:45:32,019 I made it with that nurse. 710 00:45:32,604 --> 00:45:33,604 I know. 711 00:45:33,814 --> 00:45:35,440 She was terrific. 712 00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:38,317 I made it with other chicks, too. 713 00:45:38,944 --> 00:45:42,155 I don't want to play this game! 714 00:45:45,617 --> 00:45:47,910 Tell me about the Chinese chick. 715 00:45:49,496 --> 00:45:52,039 You didn't know I knew that, did you? 716 00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:55,543 I love you. 717 00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:59,505 Why don't you tell me to stop? 718 00:46:00,174 --> 00:46:02,175 Why don't you tell yourself? 719 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:03,843 Tell me. 720 00:46:04,052 --> 00:46:06,763 Why? You obviously dig it. 721 00:46:07,139 --> 00:46:09,932 So, you know... That's cool. 722 00:46:13,604 --> 00:46:15,271 You son of a bitch! 723 00:46:15,939 --> 00:46:19,192 Why do you always have to be so fucking hip! 724 00:46:20,402 --> 00:46:22,737 Comics will do endless fag jokes, 725 00:46:23,113 --> 00:46:24,906 but never dyke jokes, 726 00:46:26,867 --> 00:46:28,618 because dykes will punch the shit out of you. 727 00:46:44,968 --> 00:46:47,094 It's really hard to spot dykes. 728 00:46:48,263 --> 00:46:49,847 You know why? 729 00:46:49,890 --> 00:46:52,141 Sometimes we're married to them. 730 00:46:59,858 --> 00:47:01,234 I love you. 731 00:47:10,202 --> 00:47:13,246 INTERVIEWER: You were together and apart several times during that period. 732 00:47:13,330 --> 00:47:16,249 What did you really want from the man? 733 00:47:18,752 --> 00:47:20,294 I always wanted a baby. 734 00:47:22,965 --> 00:47:25,007 I thought it would help us, 735 00:47:25,968 --> 00:47:27,760 to bring us together. 736 00:47:28,428 --> 00:47:30,137 We both cleaned up for a while, 737 00:47:30,222 --> 00:47:34,267 and on November 7, 1955, Kitty was born. 738 00:47:35,310 --> 00:47:37,353 We were like a real family. 739 00:47:38,772 --> 00:47:41,023 Then I had to go back to work 740 00:47:41,108 --> 00:47:42,733 and travel a lot. 741 00:47:44,278 --> 00:47:48,406 Lenny started emceeing these strip joints, real dives. 742 00:47:48,448 --> 00:47:51,158 We didn't get to see much of each other, 743 00:47:51,785 --> 00:47:53,578 and... I don't know. 744 00:47:54,496 --> 00:47:56,247 Sometimes things... 745 00:47:57,791 --> 00:47:59,375 Just don't work out. 746 00:47:59,459 --> 00:48:01,752 You really never understand why. 747 00:48:02,296 --> 00:48:05,047 Want to see a baby picture of Kitty? 748 00:48:13,599 --> 00:48:15,558 No, dummy, in your mouth. 749 00:48:16,894 --> 00:48:18,311 - What time is it? - 9:30. 750 00:48:18,395 --> 00:48:19,604 Thanks. 751 00:48:20,856 --> 00:48:22,398 Mommy will be here soon. 752 00:49:00,020 --> 00:49:01,896 Just couldn't get a cab. 753 00:49:04,358 --> 00:49:05,441 Um... 754 00:49:06,151 --> 00:49:09,403 Called three places, and they said they'd send one, 755 00:49:11,365 --> 00:49:12,865 but Nada City. 756 00:49:15,661 --> 00:49:17,328 I finally got one. 757 00:49:24,211 --> 00:49:25,378 Right. 758 00:49:33,887 --> 00:49:37,014 Kitty, Mama's sorry she's late. 759 00:49:37,265 --> 00:49:39,141 She knows Daddy's mad. 760 00:49:39,226 --> 00:49:42,019 Mr. Bruce. Mr. Bruce. 761 00:49:42,479 --> 00:49:43,604 You order ready. 762 00:49:49,111 --> 00:49:50,194 How much? 763 00:49:50,237 --> 00:49:51,404 $2.75. 764 00:49:52,114 --> 00:49:54,699 Your missus, she's the cutest girl. 765 00:49:57,577 --> 00:49:59,078 Say hello to her. 766 00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:00,621 She a wonderful wife. 767 00:50:00,706 --> 00:50:02,123 We're divorced. 768 00:50:02,207 --> 00:50:03,749 You better off. 769 00:50:03,959 --> 00:50:07,461 It's hard when you break up with your old lady. 770 00:50:08,213 --> 00:50:11,924 At first you think, "I'll really swing now," 771 00:50:12,509 --> 00:50:16,262 but the chicks you meet are also divorced. 772 00:50:17,097 --> 00:50:18,931 They all have that kid, 773 00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:21,809 like a prop from central casting. 774 00:50:22,102 --> 00:50:25,479 Or they have that French poodle 775 00:50:26,773 --> 00:50:29,608 that's allowed in the bedroom all the time. 776 00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:33,279 He's on the bed when you're trying to do it. 777 00:50:33,905 --> 00:50:35,865 "Why is this dog here?" 778 00:50:36,241 --> 00:50:38,242 "He just wants to watch." 779 00:50:38,869 --> 00:50:42,204 "Wants to watch? I'm not an exhibitionist. 780 00:50:42,914 --> 00:50:44,832 "Get out of here, you pervert." 781 00:50:46,668 --> 00:50:48,586 The sick red eyes, man. 782 00:50:49,129 --> 00:50:51,547 Tap dancing on the linoleum floor. 783 00:50:53,550 --> 00:50:55,217 That pink thing sticking out? 784 00:50:56,303 --> 00:50:58,512 It's like a lipstick, right? 785 00:50:58,638 --> 00:51:00,765 If you've been married for five years 786 00:51:00,807 --> 00:51:02,641 and it goes into the shithouse, 787 00:51:03,643 --> 00:51:05,519 you'll throw up a lot. 788 00:51:05,937 --> 00:51:07,104 And when it's over, 789 00:51:07,147 --> 00:51:09,857 about the only satisfaction you can have 790 00:51:10,484 --> 00:51:13,319 is to get even with her. 791 00:51:13,403 --> 00:51:15,571 Get that kid. "I got the kid." 792 00:51:15,864 --> 00:51:17,656 He stole her from me. 793 00:51:18,366 --> 00:51:20,034 We were in Hawaii. 794 00:51:20,118 --> 00:51:22,995 I'd gotten busted for pot. 795 00:51:24,623 --> 00:51:27,291 I was waiting trial. He knew I couldn't leave, 796 00:51:27,334 --> 00:51:29,335 and he just took her. 797 00:51:30,796 --> 00:51:32,880 I'm sorry. The tape ran out. 798 00:51:34,508 --> 00:51:36,342 Just give me a second 799 00:51:37,010 --> 00:51:39,261 and maybe repeat that for me, please. 800 00:51:39,596 --> 00:51:42,848 No, forget it. I know why. 801 00:51:44,017 --> 00:51:46,060 He took her because he knew 802 00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:48,604 I couldn't take care of her. 803 00:51:49,314 --> 00:51:50,940 Because of drugs? 804 00:51:52,025 --> 00:51:54,735 But custody doesn't mean "get even." 805 00:51:56,238 --> 00:52:00,366 What custody really means is I raise. 806 00:52:01,785 --> 00:52:03,911 I get up in the morning. 807 00:52:03,995 --> 00:52:05,871 I schlep the kid. 808 00:52:05,956 --> 00:52:07,206 I clean. 809 00:52:08,291 --> 00:52:09,500 I love. 810 00:52:10,752 --> 00:52:11,752 It's hot. 811 00:52:12,629 --> 00:52:14,880 Custody's a lot of dos. 812 00:52:17,259 --> 00:52:18,676 Good, right? 813 00:52:18,718 --> 00:52:20,511 You better off with me, man. 814 00:52:21,346 --> 00:52:22,972 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 815 00:52:23,056 --> 00:52:24,431 It's probably for you. 816 00:52:24,516 --> 00:52:27,935 I'll tell them you're eating and to call back later. 817 00:52:28,019 --> 00:52:30,354 Here, have yourself an orgy. 818 00:52:35,819 --> 00:52:36,902 Yeah? 819 00:52:36,945 --> 00:52:38,696 OPERATOR: I have a collect call for Mr. Lenny Bruce 820 00:52:38,738 --> 00:52:40,489 from Honey Bruce in Honolulu. 821 00:52:42,450 --> 00:52:43,784 This is him. 822 00:52:43,869 --> 00:52:45,578 Will you accept the charges? 823 00:52:46,913 --> 00:52:48,038 Yeah. 824 00:52:53,503 --> 00:52:54,670 Lenny? 825 00:52:55,589 --> 00:52:56,589 Hi. 826 00:52:59,926 --> 00:53:03,304 What's shaking? What do you want? 827 00:53:04,890 --> 00:53:06,682 I think you called me. 828 00:53:08,185 --> 00:53:09,226 Oh. 829 00:53:09,436 --> 00:53:10,769 Oh, right. 830 00:53:14,357 --> 00:53:15,441 Um... 831 00:53:17,277 --> 00:53:18,986 What are you doing? 832 00:53:19,237 --> 00:53:21,280 Nothing. It's my night off. 833 00:53:22,908 --> 00:53:23,991 Oh... 834 00:53:24,284 --> 00:53:25,451 Right. 835 00:53:28,955 --> 00:53:30,080 Um... 836 00:53:30,874 --> 00:53:34,168 I've got some really good news. 837 00:53:38,048 --> 00:53:40,674 I met this agent who said 838 00:53:40,759 --> 00:53:44,053 maybe he could get me some dates working conventions. 839 00:53:44,137 --> 00:53:46,138 Yeah, I know. You told me. 840 00:53:46,556 --> 00:53:47,723 I did? 841 00:53:49,935 --> 00:53:52,269 But he says it's almost definite. 842 00:53:53,021 --> 00:53:55,981 He said he'd call on Tuesday. 843 00:54:02,155 --> 00:54:03,322 Lenny? 844 00:54:04,324 --> 00:54:06,158 Yeah, that's good. That's good news. 845 00:54:08,411 --> 00:54:11,664 Well, I got some really good news. 846 00:54:12,499 --> 00:54:13,624 Um... 847 00:54:15,710 --> 00:54:17,211 My lawyer says 848 00:54:18,046 --> 00:54:20,297 I might not have to go to jail. 849 00:54:21,216 --> 00:54:22,341 Um... 850 00:54:23,551 --> 00:54:25,427 He says we can appeal. 851 00:54:28,056 --> 00:54:29,515 How much this time? 852 00:54:32,519 --> 00:54:33,602 Two hundred? 853 00:54:37,315 --> 00:54:38,357 Uh... 854 00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,859 I'll send what I can. 855 00:54:43,071 --> 00:54:45,197 I'll pay you back this time. 856 00:54:45,949 --> 00:54:47,825 He said he'd call on... 857 00:54:51,871 --> 00:54:52,997 Tuesday. 858 00:54:59,004 --> 00:55:00,337 I miss you, Daddy. 859 00:55:08,179 --> 00:55:09,555 How's Kitty? 860 00:55:11,057 --> 00:55:12,182 Fine. 861 00:55:12,475 --> 00:55:13,726 You change her a lot? 862 00:55:14,894 --> 00:55:18,355 You got to change her or she gets those rashes. 863 00:55:18,898 --> 00:55:19,898 I got to hang up now. 864 00:55:20,317 --> 00:55:21,442 Lenny? 865 00:55:24,821 --> 00:55:26,447 Yeah, I'm still here. 866 00:55:29,242 --> 00:55:30,492 Do you still love me? 867 00:55:31,161 --> 00:55:34,663 Sure, but I can't make these phone bills. 868 00:55:36,082 --> 00:55:39,001 I still love you. When I'm straight... 869 00:55:39,294 --> 00:55:40,919 I got to hang up. 870 00:55:41,796 --> 00:55:43,922 Listen. I'll send what I can. 871 00:55:46,384 --> 00:55:47,426 Okay? 872 00:55:50,638 --> 00:55:51,680 Okay. 873 00:55:55,769 --> 00:55:57,478 Take care of yourself. 874 00:56:16,456 --> 00:56:19,416 LENNY: We live in a happy-ending culture, 875 00:56:20,377 --> 00:56:23,796 a what-should-be culture instead of a what-is culture. 876 00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:28,300 But if we were taught this is what is, 877 00:56:28,343 --> 00:56:30,636 I think we'd be less screwed up. 878 00:56:32,222 --> 00:56:35,641 I'll show you people some really dirty pictures. 879 00:56:36,476 --> 00:56:39,812 These are some pictures of the Kennedy assassination. 880 00:56:40,146 --> 00:56:41,313 Now... 881 00:56:41,773 --> 00:56:43,982 I say these are dirty pictures 882 00:56:44,484 --> 00:56:46,819 because the captions are bullshit. 883 00:56:46,861 --> 00:56:50,489 "Never for an instant did she think of flight." 884 00:56:50,990 --> 00:56:53,826 Now, that's bullshit. That's my conclusion. 885 00:56:54,244 --> 00:56:57,996 Time magazine's conclusion is that she was trying 886 00:56:58,081 --> 00:57:01,333 to help the secret service men aboard. 887 00:57:01,418 --> 00:57:03,335 And we buy it. 888 00:57:03,837 --> 00:57:06,380 But I think she did the normal thing. 889 00:57:06,923 --> 00:57:09,633 When the president and the governor got it, 890 00:57:09,676 --> 00:57:11,927 she tried to get the hell out of there! 891 00:57:12,011 --> 00:57:14,096 But they want us to believe this bullshit! 892 00:57:14,514 --> 00:57:18,183 They want our daughters, if their husbands get shot 893 00:57:18,768 --> 00:57:23,230 and they haul ass, do the normal thing, 894 00:57:23,314 --> 00:57:25,023 to feel guilty and shitty 895 00:57:25,066 --> 00:57:28,235 because they're not like that good fantasy woman. 896 00:57:28,695 --> 00:57:31,447 It's a dirty lie to say 897 00:57:31,531 --> 00:57:34,116 if you're good, you stay, and if you're bad, you run. 898 00:57:36,202 --> 00:57:38,162 Fuck it! She didn't stay! 899 00:57:38,455 --> 00:57:40,122 People don't stay. 900 00:57:41,166 --> 00:57:44,168 No, people don't stay. 901 00:57:47,213 --> 00:57:49,923 If a Protestant woman's son got divorced 902 00:57:50,425 --> 00:57:53,051 and she moved to help raise his child, 903 00:57:53,470 --> 00:57:55,387 would you call her a Protestant mother? 904 00:57:55,930 --> 00:57:57,848 INTERVIEWER: You moved to California? 905 00:57:58,016 --> 00:58:00,225 What else? I'm a Jewish mother. 906 00:58:02,353 --> 00:58:04,605 Lenny went to work at Duffy's bar. 907 00:58:04,689 --> 00:58:08,150 Yeah. Duffy's was a strip joint near here. 908 00:58:46,397 --> 00:58:49,233 Let's hear it for Miss Cindy, tits and ass! 909 00:58:50,735 --> 00:58:53,320 Come on, degenerates. Give her a hand. 910 00:58:53,488 --> 00:58:55,948 Lenny did shtick between strippers. 911 00:58:55,990 --> 00:58:57,115 Stick? 912 00:58:57,158 --> 00:58:59,952 No shtick, darling. Shtick. 913 00:59:02,330 --> 00:59:04,623 You know how many asses have been on this chair? 914 00:59:06,668 --> 00:59:08,794 There's been a lot of asses. 915 00:59:08,878 --> 00:59:11,088 There's no way of telling how many, 916 00:59:11,130 --> 00:59:13,131 but lions and tigers know. 917 00:59:13,883 --> 00:59:16,385 When Frank Buck goes, "Ha! Ha!" 918 00:59:16,511 --> 00:59:19,304 They go, "Waah! Waah!" 919 00:59:23,101 --> 00:59:24,810 I'm glad you're here tonight. 920 00:59:24,852 --> 00:59:28,647 I think you've had enough of this humor. 921 00:59:29,190 --> 00:59:31,692 Let's welcome a great favorite here, 922 00:59:32,026 --> 00:59:34,778 Miss Baby Babylon and her traveling rash. 923 00:59:40,868 --> 00:59:42,327 My answer is no! 924 00:59:42,412 --> 00:59:43,996 Come on, Lenny. 925 00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:46,206 I can say anything here. 926 00:59:46,291 --> 00:59:48,166 Nobody's listening. 927 00:59:48,209 --> 00:59:50,961 I could get you $750 a week. 928 00:59:51,004 --> 00:59:52,170 750. 929 00:59:52,714 --> 00:59:54,172 Get out! 930 00:59:54,215 --> 00:59:56,091 Why would they pay you 750? 931 00:59:56,175 --> 00:59:58,176 To say anything he thinks. 932 00:59:59,721 --> 01:00:01,263 They really dig you. 933 01:00:01,347 --> 01:00:04,266 They think you'll become an "in" thing. 934 01:00:04,350 --> 01:00:06,893 An "in" thing? 935 01:00:06,978 --> 01:00:09,438 I don't have to do mother-in-law jokes? 936 01:00:09,522 --> 01:00:10,731 No. 937 01:00:11,774 --> 01:00:13,150 No tuxedos? 938 01:00:13,234 --> 01:00:15,193 Go on bare-assed if you want. 939 01:00:16,279 --> 01:00:17,696 No. 940 01:00:17,739 --> 01:00:19,781 Please! I need the money! 941 01:00:19,866 --> 01:00:21,700 My final answer is no! 942 01:00:22,619 --> 01:00:23,869 Lenny's right. 943 01:00:23,953 --> 01:00:26,538 He's better off staying in this toilet 944 01:00:27,582 --> 01:00:29,374 for 90 bucks a week. 945 01:00:29,751 --> 01:00:31,627 She's right. Call them. 946 01:00:31,753 --> 01:00:32,794 No. 947 01:00:33,755 --> 01:00:34,880 I need the money! 948 01:00:34,922 --> 01:00:36,757 No. You had your chance. 949 01:00:36,841 --> 01:00:38,592 I want to be a star! 950 01:00:40,136 --> 01:00:41,428 All right. I'll call them. 951 01:00:41,512 --> 01:00:42,721 Thanks. 952 01:00:44,641 --> 01:00:45,932 Here, sweetheart. 953 01:00:46,017 --> 01:00:48,310 I used to work in a post office. 954 01:00:52,649 --> 01:00:56,193 Let's hear it for Baby Babylon and her bobbling boobies! 955 01:00:56,986 --> 01:00:59,071 Let's give a nice big welcome 956 01:00:59,113 --> 01:01:01,156 to Miss Wanda and her bird. 957 01:01:02,909 --> 01:01:04,951 Oh, no! That was last week. 958 01:01:05,453 --> 01:01:08,288 You'll love this next lady, whoever she is. 959 01:01:08,456 --> 01:01:11,416 She'll thrill you down to your thriller. 960 01:01:13,294 --> 01:01:16,505 Whatever her name is, a big hand. Let's hear it. 961 01:01:18,091 --> 01:01:20,175 I bid you all farewell. 962 01:01:20,259 --> 01:01:22,636 I'm leaving this toilet to become a star. 963 01:01:27,433 --> 01:01:30,602 Therefore, pursuant to the power vested in me 964 01:01:30,645 --> 01:01:32,688 by the territory of Hawaii, 965 01:01:33,481 --> 01:01:35,982 I hereby sentence you to be confined 966 01:01:36,484 --> 01:01:38,610 to the women's correctional institution, 967 01:01:38,695 --> 01:01:40,612 Terminal Island, California, 968 01:01:41,155 --> 01:01:43,865 for a period of not less than 24 months. 969 01:01:45,785 --> 01:01:49,329 He stopped doing that crappy imitation stuff, 970 01:01:49,414 --> 01:01:51,873 and he started to improvise. 971 01:01:52,959 --> 01:01:54,459 All right. 972 01:01:55,545 --> 01:01:57,504 Who else can we talk about? 973 01:01:57,588 --> 01:01:58,839 Eisenhower! 974 01:01:59,173 --> 01:02:01,133 Eisenhower. 975 01:02:01,676 --> 01:02:03,218 All right. 976 01:02:03,302 --> 01:02:06,096 Students, stop bugging him about the bomb. 977 01:02:06,556 --> 01:02:08,890 He doesn't even know where it is. 978 01:02:10,017 --> 01:02:12,018 Actually, it's not a bomb. 979 01:02:13,187 --> 01:02:14,688 It's a button. 980 01:02:15,189 --> 01:02:17,941 It's on the fly of a Cub Scout somewhere. 981 01:02:19,193 --> 01:02:21,528 The whole world will go up 982 01:02:21,612 --> 01:02:23,989 because of one faggot Scoutmaster. 983 01:02:27,201 --> 01:02:31,163 I really dig what they do with homosexuals in this country. 984 01:02:31,914 --> 01:02:35,542 They put them in prison with a lot of other men. 985 01:02:37,378 --> 01:02:38,962 That's really good punishment. 986 01:02:41,799 --> 01:02:43,675 Are there any niggers here tonight? 987 01:02:47,513 --> 01:02:49,014 Turn on the lights, please, 988 01:02:49,056 --> 01:02:52,517 and could the waitresses stop serving for a second? 989 01:02:53,060 --> 01:02:54,936 And turn off the spot. 990 01:02:55,188 --> 01:02:56,772 What did he say? 991 01:02:57,064 --> 01:02:59,524 Are there any niggers here tonight? 992 01:03:00,109 --> 01:03:02,527 I see one back there working. 993 01:03:03,404 --> 01:03:05,655 Let's see. There's two niggers. 994 01:03:06,157 --> 01:03:08,742 Between those two niggers sits a kike. 995 01:03:09,619 --> 01:03:11,203 There's another kike. 996 01:03:11,245 --> 01:03:13,163 That's two kikes and three niggers. 997 01:03:13,873 --> 01:03:15,874 And there's a spic, right? 998 01:03:16,334 --> 01:03:17,375 Hmm? 999 01:03:18,961 --> 01:03:20,295 There's another spic. 1000 01:03:20,379 --> 01:03:22,964 Ooh, there's a wop. There's a polack 1001 01:03:23,049 --> 01:03:25,133 and a couple of greaseballs. 1002 01:03:26,135 --> 01:03:28,178 There's three Irish micks, 1003 01:03:28,554 --> 01:03:31,973 and there's one hip dick 1004 01:03:32,058 --> 01:03:34,768 punky funky boogie. 1005 01:03:35,853 --> 01:03:37,354 Boogie boogie. 1006 01:03:37,772 --> 01:03:39,022 Mmm-hmm. 1007 01:03:42,068 --> 01:03:43,902 Do I hear five kikes? 1008 01:03:43,945 --> 01:03:45,153 I got five kikes. 1009 01:03:45,238 --> 01:03:46,404 I got six spics. 1010 01:03:46,489 --> 01:03:48,907 I got seven niggers. 1011 01:03:49,367 --> 01:03:50,784 Sold American! 1012 01:03:50,868 --> 01:03:55,705 I'll pass with seven niggers, six spics, and five micks. 1013 01:03:55,915 --> 01:03:58,083 You almost punched me, right? 1014 01:03:59,377 --> 01:04:00,919 I was trying to make a point. 1015 01:04:00,962 --> 01:04:03,338 It's the suppression of the word 1016 01:04:03,422 --> 01:04:06,633 that gives it the violence, the viciousness. 1017 01:04:08,803 --> 01:04:11,304 If president Kennedy would just say, 1018 01:04:11,806 --> 01:04:16,226 "I'd like you to meet all the niggers in my cabinet," 1019 01:04:16,811 --> 01:04:19,437 and if he'd just say, "nigger, nigger" 1020 01:04:19,814 --> 01:04:20,897 to every nigger he saw, 1021 01:04:20,940 --> 01:04:24,526 "boogie, boogie, boogie, nigger, nigger" 1022 01:04:24,652 --> 01:04:26,945 till nigger didn't mean anything anymore, 1023 01:04:27,029 --> 01:04:29,739 then a six-year-old black kid wouldn't cry 1024 01:04:29,782 --> 01:04:32,325 because somebody called him a nigger. 1025 01:04:37,999 --> 01:04:40,041 I am of Semitic background. 1026 01:04:40,501 --> 01:04:41,877 I'm Jewish. 1027 01:04:42,336 --> 01:04:44,254 A Jew, dictionary style, 1028 01:04:44,338 --> 01:04:47,424 is one descended from an ancient tribe of Judea 1029 01:04:47,466 --> 01:04:50,677 or one regarded to have descended from that tribe. 1030 01:04:50,761 --> 01:04:53,972 But we know what a Jew really is. 1031 01:04:55,474 --> 01:04:58,268 One who killed our Lord. 1032 01:04:59,353 --> 01:05:02,814 I don't know if that got press coverage here on the west coast, 1033 01:05:02,857 --> 01:05:04,941 because that happened thousands of years ago. 1034 01:05:04,984 --> 01:05:07,110 There should be a statute of limitations, 1035 01:05:07,153 --> 01:05:08,653 but we're still paying the dues. 1036 01:05:09,196 --> 01:05:11,156 Why do you keep busting our balls? 1037 01:05:12,867 --> 01:05:17,412 "Why, Jew? Because you blame it on Roman soldiers." 1038 01:05:17,496 --> 01:05:19,956 I'll clear the air and confess. 1039 01:05:20,499 --> 01:05:22,459 My family did it. 1040 01:05:24,503 --> 01:05:26,880 We found a note in the basement that said, 1041 01:05:26,964 --> 01:05:29,174 "We killed him. Signed, Morty." 1042 01:05:29,884 --> 01:05:32,218 It's a good thing that we nailed him when we did. 1043 01:05:32,303 --> 01:05:34,846 If we had done it within the last 50 years, 1044 01:05:34,889 --> 01:05:37,933 we'd have faced generations of parochial school kids 1045 01:05:38,017 --> 01:05:40,268 wearing little electric chairs around their necks. 1046 01:05:43,856 --> 01:05:45,148 1,000 a week? 1047 01:05:45,232 --> 01:05:46,691 MAN: That's right. 1048 01:05:47,276 --> 01:05:48,652 No, no, no. 1049 01:05:48,694 --> 01:05:50,236 We want 1,300. 1050 01:05:50,863 --> 01:05:51,947 Uh... 1051 01:05:52,031 --> 01:05:53,823 1,500 a week, minimum, 1052 01:05:53,908 --> 01:05:56,201 guaranteed against the percentage. 1053 01:05:56,243 --> 01:05:58,078 Percentage? What percentage? 1054 01:05:58,162 --> 01:05:59,704 What percentage? 1055 01:05:59,789 --> 01:06:00,872 Um... 1056 01:06:03,918 --> 01:06:05,168 Uh, 20%? 1057 01:06:05,419 --> 01:06:07,462 He's a fad like hula hoops. 1058 01:06:08,255 --> 01:06:11,216 I'm a fucking fad? Thirty. 1059 01:06:11,258 --> 01:06:12,634 Uh, look... 1060 01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:15,220 Did I say 20%? 1061 01:06:15,304 --> 01:06:16,930 I meant 30%. 1062 01:06:17,014 --> 01:06:18,056 30%? 1063 01:06:18,140 --> 01:06:20,141 I never paid an actor 30%. 1064 01:06:20,726 --> 01:06:22,811 Well, you know Lenny. 1065 01:06:24,146 --> 01:06:25,730 He's, uh... Crazy. 1066 01:06:25,815 --> 01:06:27,524 Are you trying to screw me? 1067 01:06:29,276 --> 01:06:30,443 How crazy is he? 1068 01:06:30,528 --> 01:06:32,529 Pay me or I don't show up. 1069 01:06:33,239 --> 01:06:34,531 You pay Lenny what he wants. 1070 01:06:36,033 --> 01:06:37,909 (SHOUTS INDISCERNIBLY) 1071 01:06:41,038 --> 01:06:42,247 I'll call you back. 1072 01:06:42,289 --> 01:06:43,498 Ha! Ha! 1073 01:06:45,459 --> 01:06:47,877 That's bullshit. I'm just a comic. 1074 01:06:48,629 --> 01:06:50,505 For a nightclub comic, 1075 01:06:50,631 --> 01:06:53,258 you have a great deal of social impact. 1076 01:06:54,301 --> 01:06:55,343 No. 1077 01:06:55,636 --> 01:06:56,886 Come on. 1078 01:06:57,013 --> 01:07:00,432 People say you feel an obligation 1079 01:07:00,474 --> 01:07:03,476 to speak on subjects that would not normally... 1080 01:07:04,979 --> 01:07:07,188 I'm just trying to make a buck. 1081 01:07:07,648 --> 01:07:09,274 Oh, that's nice. 1082 01:07:11,235 --> 01:07:12,777 You want some yogurt? 1083 01:07:12,820 --> 01:07:14,279 No, thank you. 1084 01:07:14,321 --> 01:07:15,947 It's healthy. 1085 01:07:15,990 --> 01:07:17,073 That's good. 1086 01:07:17,908 --> 01:07:19,993 I really dig being up there. 1087 01:07:20,494 --> 01:07:24,622 You just stand up and everybody listens to you. 1088 01:07:24,957 --> 01:07:26,916 Your mother, your father. 1089 01:07:27,418 --> 01:07:29,461 They finally listen to you. 1090 01:07:29,545 --> 01:07:31,504 They don't chase you out. 1091 01:07:32,089 --> 01:07:33,631 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 1092 01:07:35,718 --> 01:07:38,053 This is Artie Silver, my manager. 1093 01:07:38,429 --> 01:07:39,763 This is, uh... 1094 01:07:39,805 --> 01:07:41,556 I forgot your name. 1095 01:07:42,808 --> 01:07:44,142 John Santi. 1096 01:07:44,518 --> 01:07:47,353 Mr. Santi writes for Time magazine. 1097 01:07:48,147 --> 01:07:49,189 Oh. 1098 01:07:49,273 --> 01:07:50,607 Very good. 1099 01:07:54,987 --> 01:07:57,530 Usually I don't like doing interviews, 1100 01:07:57,615 --> 01:08:00,825 but... I find you very interesting. 1101 01:08:01,243 --> 01:08:03,203 "Sick comic, Lenny Bruce, 1102 01:08:04,413 --> 01:08:06,915 "whose jokes about the President..." 1103 01:08:06,999 --> 01:08:09,084 Blah, blah, blah, blah. 1104 01:08:09,168 --> 01:08:10,960 You know what's sick? 1105 01:08:11,587 --> 01:08:15,882 Zsa Zsa Gabor will get $60,000 a week 1106 01:08:16,342 --> 01:08:18,134 in Las Vegas, Nevada, 1107 01:08:19,053 --> 01:08:21,346 and schoolteachers' salaries in that state, 1108 01:08:21,388 --> 01:08:25,016 top salary, is $6,000 a year. 1109 01:08:25,059 --> 01:08:26,893 That's the kind of sick 1110 01:08:26,977 --> 01:08:29,187 I wish they would have written about. 1111 01:08:32,775 --> 01:08:34,776 Or the fact that married guys 1112 01:08:34,860 --> 01:08:37,153 have to jack off more than anybody else. 1113 01:08:37,404 --> 01:08:38,696 It's true. 1114 01:08:39,073 --> 01:08:40,198 All over the country, 1115 01:08:40,282 --> 01:08:43,618 thousands of guys lie on bathroom floors 1116 01:08:44,078 --> 01:08:45,870 whacking it off to Miss December 1117 01:08:45,913 --> 01:08:48,706 because the wife won't touch it anymore. 1118 01:08:48,749 --> 01:08:50,500 You can't stop masturbating gradually. 1119 01:08:50,584 --> 01:08:52,710 You got to do it cold jerky. 1120 01:08:52,962 --> 01:08:54,879 I wonder what Time is gonna say about that. 1121 01:08:55,047 --> 01:08:57,799 How about some more sick material? 1122 01:09:00,386 --> 01:09:01,761 Integration. 1123 01:09:07,101 --> 01:09:08,893 I have some guilt 1124 01:09:09,061 --> 01:09:10,728 that I don't do enough for integration. 1125 01:09:13,774 --> 01:09:15,525 I try to do my bit, 1126 01:09:16,235 --> 01:09:18,570 but it doesn't seem to be enough. 1127 01:09:18,946 --> 01:09:22,198 They asked me to make the marches. 1128 01:09:22,283 --> 01:09:24,117 It's always the same crap, 1129 01:09:24,201 --> 01:09:27,245 Ray Charles bumping into Stevie Wonder all day. 1130 01:09:27,580 --> 01:09:29,873 I mean, it's the worst! 1131 01:09:30,791 --> 01:09:34,002 No, you don't have to applaud. 1132 01:09:34,086 --> 01:09:36,087 Really. It's really weird. 1133 01:09:36,172 --> 01:09:38,339 It's enough that you're listening. 1134 01:09:38,424 --> 01:09:40,550 I used to get fired for this. 1135 01:09:41,093 --> 01:09:43,219 Now I'm getting a following. 1136 01:09:44,638 --> 01:09:45,972 (APPLAUSE) 1137 01:09:46,056 --> 01:09:47,432 Oh, come on! 1138 01:09:49,643 --> 01:09:51,519 Oh, it's embarrassing! 1139 01:09:53,647 --> 01:09:54,898 Stop it! 1140 01:09:55,149 --> 01:09:56,441 Come on! 1141 01:09:56,734 --> 01:09:59,777 I'm walking off if you don't stop right now. 1142 01:10:00,237 --> 01:10:02,739 I don't want applause. No more love. 1143 01:10:03,240 --> 01:10:05,116 Why aren't you standing? 1144 01:10:08,746 --> 01:10:10,872 You know, I've been thinking. 1145 01:10:11,165 --> 01:10:13,124 I mean, I am totally corrupt. 1146 01:10:13,209 --> 01:10:14,500 I mean, really. 1147 01:10:14,585 --> 01:10:17,295 My whole act, my whole economic success, 1148 01:10:18,839 --> 01:10:22,759 is based on the existence of segregation, 1149 01:10:22,801 --> 01:10:24,302 violence, despair, 1150 01:10:24,386 --> 01:10:26,554 disease, and injustice. 1151 01:10:26,639 --> 01:10:28,640 If by some miracle, 1152 01:10:28,724 --> 01:10:31,684 the whole world were suddenly tranquil, 1153 01:10:31,769 --> 01:10:35,480 I'd be standing on an unemployment line somewhere. 1154 01:10:35,689 --> 01:10:37,482 If I were a moralist, 1155 01:10:37,691 --> 01:10:40,652 I'd donate my salary to those schoolteachers. 1156 01:10:41,946 --> 01:10:44,447 I'm a hustler. They give, I'll grab. 1157 01:10:48,661 --> 01:10:52,497 INTERVIEWER: While that was happening to him, you were in prison. 1158 01:10:53,374 --> 01:10:54,791 Did he visit you? 1159 01:10:54,833 --> 01:10:56,334 HONEY: Whenever he could. 1160 01:10:56,377 --> 01:10:58,419 We wrote each other. 1161 01:10:59,213 --> 01:11:00,505 INTERVIEWER: What kind of letters? 1162 01:11:00,547 --> 01:11:02,257 Oh, here. I kept some of them. 1163 01:11:05,219 --> 01:11:06,803 Shit. Well, they're here somewhere. 1164 01:11:07,096 --> 01:11:09,305 Anyway, they were about, um... 1165 01:11:10,224 --> 01:11:11,808 How sorry we both were. 1166 01:11:12,559 --> 01:11:14,018 I don't know. 1167 01:11:14,061 --> 01:11:16,771 I never thought of us as being divorced. 1168 01:11:19,441 --> 01:11:21,359 Oh, wow. 1169 01:11:23,737 --> 01:11:26,281 I got some terrific pictures of Kitty. 1170 01:11:26,740 --> 01:11:27,907 Are you ready? 1171 01:11:27,992 --> 01:11:29,033 Uh-huh. 1172 01:11:29,076 --> 01:11:30,618 You'll be surprised. 1173 01:11:30,703 --> 01:11:31,703 Oh. 1174 01:11:32,621 --> 01:11:33,871 Come on. 1175 01:11:34,957 --> 01:11:36,874 She's getting so big, huh? 1176 01:11:37,918 --> 01:11:39,002 Kitty on pony. 1177 01:11:39,712 --> 01:11:41,296 Oh, that's cute. 1178 01:11:42,881 --> 01:11:44,882 Kitty with stuffed lion and friends. 1179 01:11:45,884 --> 01:11:47,510 Who's the chick? 1180 01:11:48,053 --> 01:11:49,929 Uh, a friend of Artie's. 1181 01:11:51,056 --> 01:11:52,682 You believe that? 1182 01:11:53,183 --> 01:11:54,559 No. 1183 01:11:54,601 --> 01:11:55,893 But thanks for trying. 1184 01:11:58,439 --> 01:11:59,856 Hey, listen! 1185 01:11:59,898 --> 01:12:01,858 I got cited for meritorious behavior. 1186 01:12:02,192 --> 01:12:05,987 I could get 67 days knocked off my time. 1187 01:12:09,783 --> 01:12:11,409 Can I see the album again? 1188 01:12:12,661 --> 01:12:13,745 Yeah. 1189 01:12:21,211 --> 01:12:23,296 Must be wonderful to be a... 1190 01:12:24,131 --> 01:12:25,256 Star. 1191 01:12:31,138 --> 01:12:32,680 I want to talk about something. 1192 01:12:32,765 --> 01:12:36,184 Did you read about the two schoolteachers 1193 01:12:36,268 --> 01:12:38,644 who were busted for homosexuality? 1194 01:12:39,104 --> 01:12:42,106 This is an editorial from this morning's newspaper, 1195 01:12:42,149 --> 01:12:44,859 and I'm quoting directly from it. 1196 01:12:46,320 --> 01:12:48,696 "And let us make certain 1197 01:12:48,781 --> 01:12:50,865 "that these sexual deviates 1198 01:12:52,618 --> 01:12:56,079 "are never allowed inside a classroom again." 1199 01:12:56,121 --> 01:12:57,914 That's wrong. 1200 01:12:57,956 --> 01:12:59,707 They were busted for doing something 1201 01:12:59,792 --> 01:13:02,168 15 miles away from the school. 1202 01:13:02,252 --> 01:13:06,130 What came out at the trial is that they're damn good teachers. 1203 01:13:07,007 --> 01:13:10,218 You know how long it takes to make a good teacher? 1204 01:13:12,763 --> 01:13:15,807 There wasn't one incident where a kid said, 1205 01:13:15,849 --> 01:13:18,393 "Today in school we had Geography 1206 01:13:18,477 --> 01:13:19,852 "and then Cocksucking." 1207 01:13:25,359 --> 01:13:26,734 Hey, Lenny! 1208 01:13:26,860 --> 01:13:28,820 Man, what is that? 1209 01:13:29,363 --> 01:13:32,073 That's what happened the first time. 1210 01:13:32,366 --> 01:13:35,535 Lenny said a dirty word. They schlepped him away. 1211 01:13:36,495 --> 01:13:39,705 Why did you say that word in public? 1212 01:13:39,915 --> 01:13:43,167 What word is that? I said a lot of words. 1213 01:13:43,252 --> 01:13:45,837 You know what word. Saying that's against the law. 1214 01:13:46,713 --> 01:13:48,339 I didn't do it. 1215 01:13:48,424 --> 01:13:49,966 I just said it. 1216 01:13:51,135 --> 01:13:53,553 You ever said it in front of my wife or kid, 1217 01:13:53,637 --> 01:13:55,596 I'd punch you right out. 1218 01:13:58,183 --> 01:14:00,184 I don't want to get emotionally involved. 1219 01:14:07,526 --> 01:14:09,235 Empty your pockets. 1220 01:14:12,865 --> 01:14:14,073 Spread. 1221 01:14:26,753 --> 01:14:29,005 At first I think he enjoyed it. 1222 01:14:29,631 --> 01:14:31,591 He got lots of publicity. 1223 01:14:31,717 --> 01:14:33,509 Maybe he enjoyed it. 1224 01:14:33,760 --> 01:14:35,553 Enjoyed it? Hell, no. 1225 01:14:36,680 --> 01:14:38,556 He was obsessed with it. 1226 01:14:38,807 --> 01:14:42,894 Toward the end, he wouldn't do any bits or jokes. 1227 01:14:43,562 --> 01:14:47,482 He just wanted to read the transcripts of his trials. 1228 01:14:47,566 --> 01:14:50,193 My first trial was in front of a judge. 1229 01:14:52,488 --> 01:14:55,656 He looked like a movie judge, like Andy Hardy's father. 1230 01:14:55,949 --> 01:14:57,200 I said, "That's cool. 1231 01:14:57,242 --> 01:14:58,701 "He'll be kindly." 1232 01:14:58,785 --> 01:15:00,077 Your Honor... 1233 01:15:00,579 --> 01:15:02,413 Even if minors were present, 1234 01:15:02,456 --> 01:15:04,499 I don't think I said anything 1235 01:15:04,583 --> 01:15:06,792 that would have done them harm. 1236 01:15:09,505 --> 01:15:13,424 JUDGE: I think you better let your attorney try this case. 1237 01:15:14,176 --> 01:15:16,093 Well, as far as I'm concerned, 1238 01:15:16,136 --> 01:15:18,763 I'm ready to find you guilty right now. 1239 01:15:20,098 --> 01:15:23,684 However, I will grant a continuance as you have requested. 1240 01:15:23,769 --> 01:15:25,019 Thank you, sir. 1241 01:15:25,103 --> 01:15:29,774 Now, it's my understanding, that he has a performance on, uh... 1242 01:15:30,359 --> 01:15:31,526 Saturday. 1243 01:15:31,610 --> 01:15:32,860 - Saturday. - Yes, sir. 1244 01:15:33,487 --> 01:15:36,030 I want to caution you now, young man. 1245 01:15:36,198 --> 01:15:40,284 If you repeat any of these words, 1246 01:15:41,954 --> 01:15:43,621 you'll take the consequences. 1247 01:15:43,789 --> 01:15:45,122 Is that clear? 1248 01:15:45,165 --> 01:15:46,749 If I repeat what words? 1249 01:15:46,959 --> 01:15:48,459 It's all right. If I repeat... 1250 01:15:49,962 --> 01:15:51,629 What words specifically, Your Honor? 1251 01:15:51,672 --> 01:15:53,673 You say anything obscene, 1252 01:15:53,966 --> 01:15:57,426 I'll remember that when I dispose of the case. 1253 01:15:57,594 --> 01:15:58,594 Court adjourned. 1254 01:15:58,637 --> 01:16:00,555 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) 1255 01:16:21,660 --> 01:16:23,536 (CROWD APPLAUDING) 1256 01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:29,625 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 1257 01:16:29,876 --> 01:16:32,169 - Lenny Bruce! - (CROWD CHEERING) 1258 01:16:45,684 --> 01:16:46,892 Bless you. 1259 01:16:46,977 --> 01:16:48,311 Thank you. 1260 01:16:49,646 --> 01:16:51,689 That's because you're good. 1261 01:16:52,899 --> 01:16:54,525 Wow! Look at that! 1262 01:16:54,651 --> 01:16:56,861 We have some company here tonight. 1263 01:16:56,903 --> 01:17:00,364 Throw the spotlight over there. 1264 01:17:00,407 --> 01:17:02,742 I'd like to welcome some friends. 1265 01:17:03,493 --> 01:17:05,202 There they are. 1266 01:17:05,287 --> 01:17:06,579 Good evening, fellas. 1267 01:17:06,663 --> 01:17:08,873 - Hi, guys. - (CROWD LAUGHING) 1268 01:17:08,957 --> 01:17:10,708 It's Mount Rushmore. 1269 01:17:12,419 --> 01:17:14,378 Throw the spot on the other wall. 1270 01:17:14,421 --> 01:17:16,714 I think I spot two, I'm not sure. 1271 01:17:16,882 --> 01:17:18,758 Ah, yes. There they are! 1272 01:17:19,760 --> 01:17:21,469 Hi, Mickey. How's the family? 1273 01:17:21,553 --> 01:17:23,554 - (CROWD LAUGHING) - Okay. 1274 01:17:24,931 --> 01:17:26,015 Wow! 1275 01:17:26,725 --> 01:17:29,310 Have you ever seen so much blue? 1276 01:17:29,978 --> 01:17:33,064 I'm under pressure here tonight to cool my act. 1277 01:17:33,732 --> 01:17:35,358 Ah, I don't know how many of you know it. 1278 01:17:35,400 --> 01:17:38,152 I was arrested, busted, right here 1279 01:17:38,236 --> 01:17:40,112 a few nights ago for saying... 1280 01:17:40,197 --> 01:17:41,656 - (CROWD LAUGHING) - No. 1281 01:17:42,324 --> 01:17:43,866 I won't say it. 1282 01:17:44,743 --> 01:17:46,243 It's an 11-letter word, 1283 01:17:46,286 --> 01:17:48,913 starting with "c" and ending with "g." 1284 01:17:49,915 --> 01:17:52,625 It was used in the context 1285 01:17:52,709 --> 01:17:55,503 of defending a certain homosexual practice. 1286 01:17:55,587 --> 01:17:57,755 Actually, though, I don't relate it only to 1287 01:17:58,006 --> 01:17:59,715 homosexuals... 1288 01:18:00,384 --> 01:18:01,550 (CROWD LAUGHING) 1289 01:18:01,593 --> 01:18:04,470 I relate it to any contemporary woman I know, 1290 01:18:06,473 --> 01:18:08,557 would know or love or marry. 1291 01:18:08,600 --> 01:18:10,685 You do, too, if you're honest. 1292 01:18:10,769 --> 01:18:13,437 I'd like to ask you a few questions now. 1293 01:18:13,939 --> 01:18:15,773 You're all under oath. 1294 01:18:16,441 --> 01:18:18,442 Even standing room only. 1295 01:18:21,321 --> 01:18:23,280 How many people in this club here tonight 1296 01:18:23,365 --> 01:18:25,408 have ever used that word... 1297 01:18:27,285 --> 01:18:28,828 Blah, blah, blah? 1298 01:18:29,454 --> 01:18:32,081 Don't be shy. You can raise your hands. 1299 01:18:32,416 --> 01:18:33,457 That's cool. 1300 01:18:33,500 --> 01:18:35,459 Let's get really honest. 1301 01:18:35,794 --> 01:18:38,713 You, sir, have you ever had your blah blahed? 1302 01:18:42,342 --> 01:18:44,969 Either yes or no, one or the other. 1303 01:18:45,387 --> 01:18:47,012 How many men here 1304 01:18:47,097 --> 01:18:49,390 have ever had their blah blahed? 1305 01:18:50,434 --> 01:18:52,059 Raise your hands. 1306 01:18:53,854 --> 01:18:56,397 Come on, Officers. You're under oath. 1307 01:18:58,316 --> 01:19:00,359 Keep your hands raised. How many men 1308 01:19:00,902 --> 01:19:03,195 have blahed a blah? 1309 01:19:04,322 --> 01:19:06,657 Somebody's not telling the truth. 1310 01:19:07,826 --> 01:19:09,702 Have you blahed a blah? 1311 01:19:11,830 --> 01:19:13,622 So sweet. The officer's couldn't see it. 1312 01:19:13,665 --> 01:19:16,167 She went like this. He went like this. 1313 01:19:16,209 --> 01:19:19,378 This time the whole audience gets schlepped away. 1314 01:19:22,841 --> 01:19:25,593 This is the dirtiest show I've ever done. 1315 01:19:27,304 --> 01:19:29,096 This is really filth. 1316 01:19:30,682 --> 01:19:32,224 If there's anyone here 1317 01:19:32,309 --> 01:19:34,185 who has not found this obscene, 1318 01:19:34,269 --> 01:19:37,146 I hope you never get your blah blahed again. 1319 01:19:37,189 --> 01:19:38,939 That's my entire show for tonight. 1320 01:19:39,357 --> 01:19:40,733 Good night. 1321 01:19:48,283 --> 01:19:50,659 Kindly Andy Hardy's father found me guilty. 1322 01:19:50,702 --> 01:19:53,746 One year in jail and $1,000 fine. 1323 01:19:53,955 --> 01:19:54,997 (SIGHS) 1324 01:19:55,040 --> 01:19:58,292 So, we made a motion for a trial de novo. 1325 01:19:59,211 --> 01:20:00,586 We wanted a jury trial, 1326 01:20:00,670 --> 01:20:02,588 figuring 12 average community members 1327 01:20:02,672 --> 01:20:05,382 could better determine what was obscene 1328 01:20:05,592 --> 01:20:06,967 as opposed to one judge. 1329 01:20:07,219 --> 01:20:10,930 This guy never got past the ninth grade. 1330 01:20:11,097 --> 01:20:14,683 At 36, he decides to become a lawyer. 1331 01:20:14,810 --> 01:20:18,062 He drove his friends nuts with it, 1332 01:20:18,104 --> 01:20:20,064 collecting old law books, 1333 01:20:20,440 --> 01:20:23,442 case numbers, newspaper clippings, you name it. 1334 01:20:23,652 --> 01:20:26,237 And tape. He started taping everything. 1335 01:20:27,072 --> 01:20:31,408 He spent $63,000 for tape recordings, 1336 01:20:31,493 --> 01:20:33,494 tape equipment, engineers. 1337 01:20:34,079 --> 01:20:36,580 He hired someone to record his trial. 1338 01:20:36,915 --> 01:20:39,583 Officer Ryan, were you sexually stimulated 1339 01:20:39,668 --> 01:20:40,918 by Mr. Bruce's performance? 1340 01:20:40,961 --> 01:20:44,046 Irrelevant and immaterial. 1341 01:20:44,130 --> 01:20:45,464 Overruled. 1342 01:20:45,549 --> 01:20:46,590 No, sir. 1343 01:20:46,633 --> 01:20:50,928 Officer Ryan, have you ever used the word "cocksucker"? 1344 01:20:51,555 --> 01:20:53,430 Not that I can remember. 1345 01:20:53,765 --> 01:20:57,017 Are you familiar with the term "cocksucker"? 1346 01:20:57,435 --> 01:20:59,186 I've heard it used. 1347 01:21:00,105 --> 01:21:01,438 Isn't the word "cocksucker" 1348 01:21:01,481 --> 01:21:04,024 frequently heard in a police station? 1349 01:21:04,234 --> 01:21:06,777 That's irrelevant. If Your Honor please... 1350 01:21:06,862 --> 01:21:08,320 Overruled. 1351 01:21:10,115 --> 01:21:11,323 You may answer, Officer. 1352 01:21:11,408 --> 01:21:13,868 (CLEARS THROAT) Could I hear the question again? 1353 01:21:17,163 --> 01:21:19,206 "Isn't the word 'cocksucker' 1354 01:21:19,291 --> 01:21:22,126 "frequently heard in a police station?" 1355 01:21:26,464 --> 01:21:27,923 I have heard it used. 1356 01:21:29,050 --> 01:21:33,679 LAWYER: You've heard "cocksucker" used in a police station, 1357 01:21:33,972 --> 01:21:35,973 which is a public place. 1358 01:21:36,433 --> 01:21:38,976 They're all getting off on that word. 1359 01:21:39,185 --> 01:21:43,272 Lenny Bruce's satire is related to the social satire 1360 01:21:43,315 --> 01:21:46,150 found in the works of Aristophanes, Jonathan Swift. 1361 01:21:46,192 --> 01:21:49,778 Aristophanes is not testifying here. 1362 01:21:49,821 --> 01:21:51,488 I doubt he could. 1363 01:21:51,573 --> 01:21:53,490 (CROWD LAUGHING) 1364 01:21:58,204 --> 01:21:59,455 LAWYER: Reverend Mooney, 1365 01:21:59,497 --> 01:22:01,540 give the jury a brief summary 1366 01:22:01,625 --> 01:22:04,251 of your background in higher education. 1367 01:22:05,045 --> 01:22:06,503 Yes. 1368 01:22:06,588 --> 01:22:08,422 I have been a professor of theology 1369 01:22:08,506 --> 01:22:10,633 for almost 12 years now. 1370 01:22:10,926 --> 01:22:13,010 Could you speak up? 1371 01:22:13,511 --> 01:22:14,720 Oh, yes. 1372 01:22:14,804 --> 01:22:16,680 I taught at... 1373 01:22:17,641 --> 01:22:19,516 Boston University for three years, 1374 01:22:20,477 --> 01:22:23,270 uh, Northwestern University for two years, 1375 01:22:23,521 --> 01:22:25,773 then UCLA for three years more, 1376 01:22:25,857 --> 01:22:27,816 and I am now at Berkeley. 1377 01:22:29,569 --> 01:22:31,570 This schmuck can't hold a job. 1378 01:22:31,655 --> 01:22:35,032 LAWYER: How would you characterize Mr. Bruce's work? 1379 01:22:36,952 --> 01:22:41,038 Well, I think that Lenny has a message to convey. 1380 01:22:41,247 --> 01:22:44,833 Now it's my turn. Would you speak louder, please, Reverend? 1381 01:22:46,211 --> 01:22:47,378 Yes. 1382 01:22:47,420 --> 01:22:50,255 Ah, he has a message to convey. 1383 01:22:50,423 --> 01:22:52,841 And, he is honest and sincere about it. 1384 01:22:53,385 --> 01:22:55,302 (CLEARS THROAT) The message is, I believe, 1385 01:22:55,387 --> 01:22:59,306 to expose and hold up American society 1386 01:22:59,391 --> 01:23:02,059 so they can really see themselves. 1387 01:23:02,102 --> 01:23:04,561 Your Honor, I cannot hear the witness. 1388 01:23:04,604 --> 01:23:06,146 JUDGE: Reverend. 1389 01:23:06,815 --> 01:23:08,649 I'm sorry. (CLEARS THROAT) 1390 01:23:08,942 --> 01:23:11,735 He uses words as weapons 1391 01:23:11,945 --> 01:23:14,279 to hit people over the head with, 1392 01:23:14,572 --> 01:23:17,449 to make them recognize they are hypocritical 1393 01:23:17,617 --> 01:23:20,202 in every phase of their lives. 1394 01:23:20,996 --> 01:23:24,248 Ah, words are his tools. He uses them... 1395 01:23:25,166 --> 01:23:26,583 (BANGS GAVEL) 1396 01:23:26,668 --> 01:23:28,460 JUDGE: Order. Order. 1397 01:23:28,545 --> 01:23:29,795 Spectators will be seated. 1398 01:23:29,879 --> 01:23:31,463 Order in the court. 1399 01:23:32,716 --> 01:23:35,092 What was the nature of this chant? 1400 01:23:36,553 --> 01:23:40,431 It was talk between a man and a woman who were... 1401 01:23:42,100 --> 01:23:43,559 Involved in the... 1402 01:23:43,601 --> 01:23:45,102 In the act of... 1403 01:23:45,311 --> 01:23:46,812 Copulation. 1404 01:23:47,939 --> 01:23:49,648 "To" is a preposition. 1405 01:23:49,733 --> 01:23:51,734 "Come" is a verb. 1406 01:23:52,068 --> 01:23:53,152 "To" is a preposition. 1407 01:23:53,236 --> 01:23:55,279 "Come" is a verb. 1408 01:23:55,321 --> 01:23:57,865 The verb intransitive, "to come." 1409 01:23:58,783 --> 01:24:01,243 I heard these two words as a kid 1410 01:24:01,286 --> 01:24:04,913 when they thought I was sleeping. 1411 01:24:05,165 --> 01:24:06,957 "Did you come? Did you come? Good." 1412 01:24:07,375 --> 01:24:08,625 "Did you come good? 1413 01:24:08,835 --> 01:24:10,586 "Did you come good?" 1414 01:24:11,129 --> 01:24:13,297 (REPEATING) 1415 01:24:17,135 --> 01:24:20,179 "I come better with you than anyone in the whole goddamn world." 1416 01:24:23,141 --> 01:24:25,017 "But don't come in me. 1417 01:24:26,186 --> 01:24:27,853 "Don't come in me. 1418 01:24:28,563 --> 01:24:30,814 "Don't come in me, in me, in me. 1419 01:24:30,899 --> 01:24:32,566 "Don't come in me." 1420 01:24:33,985 --> 01:24:35,486 "I can't come." 1421 01:24:37,655 --> 01:24:39,656 "You don't love me. That's why you can't come." 1422 01:24:40,909 --> 01:24:43,160 "I love you. I just can't come. 1423 01:24:43,745 --> 01:24:45,621 "I'm loaded, all right?" 1424 01:24:45,914 --> 01:24:47,998 "Because you don't love me." 1425 01:24:48,666 --> 01:24:51,460 "What has that got to do with loving you?" 1426 01:24:54,005 --> 01:24:56,423 If anyone in this room or the world 1427 01:24:56,758 --> 01:24:59,343 finds those two words obscene, 1428 01:24:59,636 --> 01:25:01,303 indecent, immoral, 1429 01:25:02,013 --> 01:25:04,014 - you probably can't come. - (CROWD LAUGHING) 1430 01:25:06,476 --> 01:25:07,768 Mr. Bruce, you're smiling. 1431 01:25:07,852 --> 01:25:09,937 This isn't for your entertainment. 1432 01:25:10,271 --> 01:25:12,815 I don't know if that's legally obscene... 1433 01:25:13,817 --> 01:25:15,234 Do you believe in God? 1434 01:25:15,318 --> 01:25:17,820 - Bailiff! - A God that made your body. 1435 01:25:17,862 --> 01:25:20,405 If you believe there's a God that made your body... 1436 01:25:20,490 --> 01:25:22,658 Why do you tell little children to cover up? 1437 01:25:23,409 --> 01:25:25,494 If the body's dirty, that the titties are vulgar. 1438 01:25:25,537 --> 01:25:26,578 What a bore. 1439 01:25:26,663 --> 01:25:30,290 If the body is dirty the fault lies with the manufacturer, 1440 01:25:30,375 --> 01:25:33,252 and that means you gotta schlep God into court, along with me. 1441 01:25:33,461 --> 01:25:36,797 The defendant is charged with violating section 311.6 1442 01:25:36,881 --> 01:25:39,007 of the California Penal Code. 1443 01:25:39,884 --> 01:25:43,011 "Any person who speaks any obscene song, ballad, 1444 01:25:43,054 --> 01:25:45,347 "or other words in a public place 1445 01:25:45,390 --> 01:25:47,141 "is guilty of a misdemeanor." 1446 01:25:48,268 --> 01:25:50,769 Obscene means, to the average person, 1447 01:25:50,895 --> 01:25:53,355 applying standards of the community, 1448 01:25:54,357 --> 01:25:56,233 with the matter's dominant appeal being 1449 01:25:56,317 --> 01:25:58,527 to arouse a prurient interest, 1450 01:25:58,695 --> 01:26:03,532 which is a morbid interest in nudity, sex, or excretion 1451 01:26:04,075 --> 01:26:06,952 which goes beyond the limits of such matters 1452 01:26:07,120 --> 01:26:10,581 and is without redeeming social importance. 1453 01:26:11,332 --> 01:26:12,499 Now, 1454 01:26:12,584 --> 01:26:15,085 sex and obscenity are not synonymous. 1455 01:26:15,587 --> 01:26:17,588 In order to make sex obscene, 1456 01:26:17,672 --> 01:26:21,425 its portrayal must be done in such a way 1457 01:26:21,509 --> 01:26:25,137 that its dominant tendency is to corrupt the average adult 1458 01:26:25,430 --> 01:26:30,475 by creating a clear and present danger of antisocial behavior. 1459 01:26:31,102 --> 01:26:32,352 In other words, 1460 01:26:32,770 --> 01:26:34,605 some cat will hear me, get horny, 1461 01:26:34,689 --> 01:26:37,441 run to a museum, and jerk off a dinosaur. 1462 01:26:37,775 --> 01:26:39,985 JUROR: We, the jury, find the defendant 1463 01:26:40,069 --> 01:26:45,282 not guilty of violation of the Penal Code of California, 1464 01:26:45,783 --> 01:26:49,328 "Speaking or singing obscene words or ballads in public." 1465 01:26:51,623 --> 01:26:54,166 INTERVIEWER: You mentioned you might get 1466 01:26:54,250 --> 01:26:55,667 six months off that jail sentence. 1467 01:26:55,752 --> 01:26:56,877 Did that happen? 1468 01:26:56,961 --> 01:27:00,297 HONEY: No, because I got in some trouble. 1469 01:27:00,590 --> 01:27:02,382 What kind of trouble? 1470 01:27:02,800 --> 01:27:05,135 Well, I just did something crazy. 1471 01:27:06,471 --> 01:27:07,971 You don't want to tell me? 1472 01:27:08,348 --> 01:27:09,765 No. 1473 01:27:10,225 --> 01:27:11,642 INTERVIEWER: (CHUCKLES) All right. Anyway, 1474 01:27:11,684 --> 01:27:12,976 finally, you did get out. 1475 01:27:13,019 --> 01:27:17,314 HONEY: Yeah. Um, they give you speeches about rehabilitation. 1476 01:27:17,732 --> 01:27:19,358 They give you some bread. 1477 01:27:19,442 --> 01:27:22,736 They try to help you, and then... 1478 01:27:22,862 --> 01:27:23,904 Good luck, dear. 1479 01:27:23,988 --> 01:27:25,489 Oh, thank you. 1480 01:27:25,615 --> 01:27:27,658 Then they drop you outside. 1481 01:27:39,170 --> 01:27:40,837 (PHONE RINGING) 1482 01:27:58,856 --> 01:28:00,399 (CRYING) 1483 01:28:03,194 --> 01:28:04,861 LENNY: Remember that lady I wrote you about? 1484 01:28:04,946 --> 01:28:07,281 HONEY: The one with the little hat? 1485 01:28:07,365 --> 01:28:10,701 Right. She started bitching. 1486 01:28:10,868 --> 01:28:12,369 "He's guilty. Guilty." 1487 01:28:12,453 --> 01:28:14,538 Then suddenly, "He's not guilty." 1488 01:28:14,580 --> 01:28:15,664 Why? 1489 01:28:16,207 --> 01:28:17,749 She was a lush. 1490 01:28:17,875 --> 01:28:19,751 She had to get a drink. 1491 01:28:20,712 --> 01:28:22,212 Saved by Gallo wine. 1492 01:28:22,255 --> 01:28:24,047 Who cares? You beat it. 1493 01:28:24,257 --> 01:28:25,465 I know, but 1494 01:28:25,967 --> 01:28:28,760 I wanted to win it on the First Amendment. 1495 01:28:29,887 --> 01:28:31,263 I love you. 1496 01:28:32,640 --> 01:28:34,266 Wow, was I happy. 1497 01:28:35,226 --> 01:28:37,019 I think he was, too. 1498 01:28:37,562 --> 01:28:39,730 He was making a lot of bread. 1499 01:28:40,273 --> 01:28:43,400 After the San Francisco trial and that publicity, 1500 01:28:43,484 --> 01:28:45,402 everybody wanted to see him. 1501 01:28:46,446 --> 01:28:50,490 Semi-hip people thought it was in to dig him. 1502 01:28:52,327 --> 01:28:54,244 Some people really loved Lenny. 1503 01:28:54,287 --> 01:28:55,871 You really are the truth. 1504 01:28:59,334 --> 01:29:01,501 - She's a nut. - (CROWD LAUGHING) 1505 01:29:02,420 --> 01:29:03,462 But she's right. 1506 01:29:03,546 --> 01:29:05,756 Suddenly he's coming on like a rabbi. 1507 01:29:05,840 --> 01:29:09,259 I'd call him the "Meshugana Messiah." 1508 01:29:09,594 --> 01:29:12,262 LENNY: But I'm not anti-Christ or anti-religion. 1509 01:29:13,056 --> 01:29:14,348 I think it's encouraging 1510 01:29:14,432 --> 01:29:16,433 that many people are leaving the church 1511 01:29:16,476 --> 01:29:17,893 and going back to God. 1512 01:29:17,935 --> 01:29:19,728 ARTIE: Oh, he was putting everybody down. 1513 01:29:19,771 --> 01:29:21,605 He put the Pope down. 1514 01:29:21,773 --> 01:29:23,440 He even went after Kennedy. 1515 01:29:23,524 --> 01:29:25,275 INTERVIEWER: People came in to see 1516 01:29:25,360 --> 01:29:27,110 if he might get arrested. 1517 01:29:27,153 --> 01:29:30,197 Oh, absolutely. Right on. 1518 01:29:31,074 --> 01:29:34,826 INTERVIEWER: You were with him when he was arrested in Los Angeles and Chicago? 1519 01:29:39,957 --> 01:29:41,291 Well, um... 1520 01:29:41,709 --> 01:29:45,045 It's like that lady alcoholic in I'll Cry Tomorrow. 1521 01:29:45,963 --> 01:29:47,214 Lillian Roth? 1522 01:29:47,298 --> 01:29:48,965 No, Susan Hayward. 1523 01:29:50,802 --> 01:29:52,844 See, junkies think, like... 1524 01:29:54,138 --> 01:29:55,680 "I'll kick tomorrow." 1525 01:29:55,765 --> 01:29:58,934 And it was the same thing with me. 1526 01:30:00,978 --> 01:30:02,312 But, uh... 1527 01:30:03,481 --> 01:30:05,107 Tomorrow just... 1528 01:30:07,276 --> 01:30:11,321 HONEY: Follow the dots down the yellow brick road. 1529 01:30:11,406 --> 01:30:13,824 God damn it! He was just fine 1530 01:30:13,908 --> 01:30:16,493 until you were schlepped into it again. 1531 01:30:16,702 --> 01:30:19,996 (GIGGLING) Okay. I'll kill myself. 1532 01:30:23,000 --> 01:30:25,669 INTERVIEWER: Lenny was deep into drugs, wasn't he? 1533 01:30:26,921 --> 01:30:28,463 You're really cute. 1534 01:30:28,506 --> 01:30:30,006 You want me to say it. 1535 01:30:30,049 --> 01:30:32,050 Monogrammed pictures presents... 1536 01:30:32,635 --> 01:30:34,219 Rotten Together. 1537 01:30:34,429 --> 01:30:38,640 Starring Fay Wray and King Kong. 1538 01:30:38,683 --> 01:30:40,517 You think it's funny! 1539 01:30:41,018 --> 01:30:42,686 (LAUGHING) And King Kong's mother. 1540 01:30:42,728 --> 01:30:44,938 SALLY: You two think you're funny. 1541 01:30:45,148 --> 01:30:47,190 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) 1542 01:30:50,194 --> 01:30:51,319 SALLY: Well? 1543 01:30:52,029 --> 01:30:54,281 The mercenary bitch won't budge. 1544 01:30:54,365 --> 01:30:55,699 She has to. 1545 01:30:56,033 --> 01:30:57,242 You try. 1546 01:30:59,454 --> 01:31:01,663 He's in no condition to go on. 1547 01:31:03,708 --> 01:31:05,667 Look at this. At five bucks a head, 1548 01:31:05,710 --> 01:31:07,252 you know what that would cost me? 1549 01:31:07,336 --> 01:31:10,547 If he gets busted, it'll cost your liquor license. 1550 01:31:12,258 --> 01:31:16,428 You've got to be a good boy and get on your feet. 1551 01:31:17,722 --> 01:31:20,056 Lenny, you can't get up. 1552 01:31:21,058 --> 01:31:24,019 Come on, Lenny. You got to get up. 1553 01:31:24,061 --> 01:31:25,520 (LAUGHS) 1554 01:31:25,563 --> 01:31:27,939 I know you can do it, man. 1555 01:31:28,024 --> 01:31:30,400 They're all waiting for you to say something dirty. 1556 01:31:30,485 --> 01:31:32,319 I'm no junkie. 1557 01:31:34,405 --> 01:31:36,698 There you go, Len. 1558 01:31:38,451 --> 01:31:39,784 That's it. 1559 01:31:42,246 --> 01:31:43,705 I'm proud of you. 1560 01:31:59,472 --> 01:32:02,015 Uh-oh. There's the city heat. 1561 01:32:03,142 --> 01:32:05,101 There's the county heat. 1562 01:32:06,395 --> 01:32:08,271 There's the state heat. 1563 01:32:08,606 --> 01:32:12,317 I even think I see two cats from Interpol, man. 1564 01:32:14,779 --> 01:32:17,447 And I know I saw four mounties, man. 1565 01:32:21,661 --> 01:32:23,078 (COUGHING) 1566 01:32:23,120 --> 01:32:24,788 (GIGGLING) 1567 01:32:27,041 --> 01:32:30,627 (CROWD APPLAUDING) 1568 01:32:35,466 --> 01:32:36,675 (DRUMROLL) 1569 01:32:38,094 --> 01:32:40,720 ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, Lenny Bruce. 1570 01:32:42,306 --> 01:32:43,932 Super Jew! 1571 01:32:56,445 --> 01:32:57,904 (COUGHS) 1572 01:33:05,246 --> 01:33:07,247 The ecumenical council has given the Pope 1573 01:33:07,331 --> 01:33:09,416 permission to become a nun, 1574 01:33:11,294 --> 01:33:13,044 but only on Fridays. 1575 01:33:16,132 --> 01:33:17,215 What? 1576 01:33:18,342 --> 01:33:19,718 What's that? 1577 01:33:20,845 --> 01:33:22,721 King Kong is ready now? 1578 01:33:23,514 --> 01:33:25,432 Oh, he's almost ready. 1579 01:33:26,225 --> 01:33:28,685 We're going to have King for the second show. 1580 01:33:29,812 --> 01:33:32,105 I got to warn you photographers. 1581 01:33:34,525 --> 01:33:36,359 Cool it with the flash bulbs, man, 1582 01:33:36,402 --> 01:33:39,696 because otherwise King gets a little shitty. 1583 01:33:40,156 --> 01:33:41,364 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 1584 01:33:42,199 --> 01:33:43,742 Just give him a... 1585 01:33:43,826 --> 01:33:46,036 (STUTTERS) Air... 1586 01:33:46,996 --> 01:33:50,081 A building to play with or an airplane to squeeze 1587 01:33:51,459 --> 01:33:53,376 and he'll be all right. 1588 01:33:55,755 --> 01:33:57,547 Where the fuck was I? 1589 01:34:13,189 --> 01:34:14,939 It's really wild, man. 1590 01:34:15,024 --> 01:34:17,233 The judge can get away with that, man. 1591 01:34:17,318 --> 01:34:19,194 He sits up there, man, 1592 01:34:20,363 --> 01:34:22,155 junked out of his head, man. 1593 01:34:22,239 --> 01:34:25,075 He says, "I'll take that under advisement." 1594 01:34:26,744 --> 01:34:28,995 Where was I? Let me see. 1595 01:34:29,080 --> 01:34:34,000 (STUTTERS) Oh, yeah, I know what I want to do. 1596 01:34:35,086 --> 01:34:37,879 I guess you're all wondering why I'm wearing this raincoat. 1597 01:34:37,922 --> 01:34:40,882 The reason I'm wearing this raincoat is, as ya'll know, 1598 01:34:41,717 --> 01:34:44,386 I've been busted the last few times for obscenity. 1599 01:34:44,428 --> 01:34:47,263 The last time was in Los Angeles. 1600 01:34:47,306 --> 01:34:49,015 They didn't give me time to get my coat. 1601 01:34:49,100 --> 01:34:52,686 Since Chicago is a cold city, 1602 01:34:52,853 --> 01:34:54,771 if they come, I'm ready. 1603 01:34:55,856 --> 01:34:58,066 The heat is here tonight, man. 1604 01:34:59,360 --> 01:35:02,362 Are there any attorneys here tonight? 1605 01:35:03,447 --> 01:35:04,531 Where? 1606 01:35:04,907 --> 01:35:06,449 Are you an attorney, man? 1607 01:35:06,492 --> 01:35:07,992 Really? Here. 1608 01:35:09,453 --> 01:35:11,579 Now you guys got it all, man. 1609 01:35:13,249 --> 01:35:14,791 That's it, man. 1610 01:35:15,793 --> 01:35:16,960 (COUGHS) 1611 01:35:19,588 --> 01:35:20,672 Uh... 1612 01:35:22,758 --> 01:35:24,426 I know... I know... 1613 01:35:25,803 --> 01:35:27,929 I want to show you something. 1614 01:35:28,556 --> 01:35:30,473 (BLOWS INTO MICROPHONE) 1615 01:35:30,933 --> 01:35:32,600 I know what I want to show you. 1616 01:35:35,146 --> 01:35:36,813 You want to see 1617 01:35:37,523 --> 01:35:40,316 a picture of a really beautiful 1618 01:35:40,818 --> 01:35:42,986 pink-nippled lady? 1619 01:35:47,491 --> 01:35:50,702 She's my wife, man, and I gave her away. 1620 01:35:54,999 --> 01:35:56,750 (COUGHS) Where are you going? 1621 01:35:58,335 --> 01:36:00,503 Hey, where are you people going? 1622 01:36:00,546 --> 01:36:01,838 Oh, come on, man. 1623 01:36:01,881 --> 01:36:04,382 I haven't even said cocksucker yet. 1624 01:36:06,886 --> 01:36:09,304 Let them go, man. Let them go. 1625 01:36:09,805 --> 01:36:11,264 (COUGH) 1626 01:36:14,226 --> 01:36:16,352 I can't work this shithouse. 1627 01:36:18,105 --> 01:36:20,106 My stomach is killing me. 1628 01:36:24,528 --> 01:36:26,529 I know what I want to do. 1629 01:36:27,865 --> 01:36:30,200 This is for you guys over there. 1630 01:36:30,409 --> 01:36:32,285 I read in the Chicago paper 1631 01:36:34,497 --> 01:36:37,582 an article about these transvestites 1632 01:36:37,666 --> 01:36:39,250 who are posing as policemen. 1633 01:36:39,335 --> 01:36:42,587 They're police officers dressing up like pretty ladies. 1634 01:36:42,671 --> 01:36:44,172 Here's Officer Dolan... 1635 01:36:46,550 --> 01:36:48,760 "Officer Stanley Dolan says, 1636 01:36:48,886 --> 01:36:50,720 "the hardest part of police work 1637 01:36:50,763 --> 01:36:53,473 "was learning how to walk in high heels." 1638 01:36:53,557 --> 01:36:55,350 I think that's a gas. 1639 01:36:55,559 --> 01:36:58,853 You guys are so naïve, man. 1640 01:36:58,979 --> 01:37:02,524 I defend you all the time. But you're so naïve. 1641 01:37:03,067 --> 01:37:05,360 You think the guy is going to grab you 1642 01:37:05,402 --> 01:37:08,988 and you're going to say, "Okay, now, stop that. 1643 01:37:09,156 --> 01:37:11,908 "You can't touch me. I'm not a beautiful woman. 1644 01:37:11,951 --> 01:37:14,494 "I'm a police officer, and you're under arrest." 1645 01:37:16,413 --> 01:37:20,250 But you guys don't know who you're dealing with, man. 1646 01:37:20,417 --> 01:37:22,001 They don't care. 1647 01:37:22,795 --> 01:37:24,587 They'll just grab you. 1648 01:37:24,672 --> 01:37:26,923 They'll say, "I don't care if you are a cop. 1649 01:37:26,966 --> 01:37:30,718 "You got a cute ass, and I'm going to shtup you anyway." 1650 01:37:32,721 --> 01:37:34,430 It's not nice, man. 1651 01:37:35,766 --> 01:37:37,100 Hey! 1652 01:37:37,977 --> 01:37:40,478 It's not nice to incite. 1653 01:37:41,355 --> 01:37:43,273 It's not nice to entrap. 1654 01:37:44,108 --> 01:37:47,360 It's not nice to exploit those people, man. 1655 01:37:47,611 --> 01:37:49,404 They're sick people. 1656 01:37:50,281 --> 01:37:51,906 You want to know what I'm talking about? 1657 01:37:51,949 --> 01:37:53,908 I'm talking about Vietnam. 1658 01:37:54,702 --> 01:37:56,119 It's like... 1659 01:38:03,711 --> 01:38:04,836 Catholicism. 1660 01:38:04,920 --> 01:38:07,839 It's like one big franchise, man. 1661 01:38:09,466 --> 01:38:11,634 It's like... It's like Howard Johnson's, 1662 01:38:11,719 --> 01:38:13,344 and Kennedy, man. 1663 01:38:14,889 --> 01:38:15,972 He... 1664 01:38:16,974 --> 01:38:19,267 No, man, no. 1665 01:38:19,310 --> 01:38:20,685 He can't... 1666 01:38:20,978 --> 01:38:26,149 Man, I can't put together what I'm trying to say. 1667 01:38:26,233 --> 01:38:28,776 The thing that I'm trying to tell you 1668 01:38:28,944 --> 01:38:32,155 is it's harassment, man. 1669 01:38:32,698 --> 01:38:34,324 It's repression. 1670 01:38:36,035 --> 01:38:39,162 It's club owners being called up 1671 01:38:39,204 --> 01:38:40,997 in the middle of the night 1672 01:38:41,040 --> 01:38:44,000 and being told not to hire me 1673 01:38:44,168 --> 01:38:46,711 or they'll lose their liquor license! 1674 01:38:47,546 --> 01:38:49,172 It's Vietnam. 1675 01:38:49,214 --> 01:38:52,717 It's atrocities here and there. 1676 01:39:20,871 --> 01:39:22,455 I'm sorry. 1677 01:39:27,753 --> 01:39:29,545 (SIGHS) I'm not funny. 1678 01:39:36,845 --> 01:39:38,513 I'm not funny. 1679 01:39:42,726 --> 01:39:44,060 (COUGHS) 1680 01:39:56,865 --> 01:39:58,157 Listen to the ovation. 1681 01:40:04,498 --> 01:40:06,624 MAN: Bob, get that door. 1682 01:40:07,167 --> 01:40:08,251 Let's go, lady. 1683 01:40:08,293 --> 01:40:10,169 SALLY: Please, don't hurt him. 1684 01:40:11,839 --> 01:40:13,756 ARTIE: You take it easy on him now. 1685 01:40:14,091 --> 01:40:16,592 You can't come in my shithouse without a warrant. 1686 01:40:17,011 --> 01:40:18,386 I love you. 1687 01:40:19,596 --> 01:40:23,099 I was arrested 13 times in the next year. 1688 01:40:24,768 --> 01:40:26,853 Um... I flipped out mentally. 1689 01:40:26,937 --> 01:40:29,147 I schlepped him to hospitals. 1690 01:40:29,481 --> 01:40:32,108 We were getting a lot of cancellations. 1691 01:40:32,401 --> 01:40:34,277 I wound up in a hospital 1692 01:40:35,320 --> 01:40:37,071 in the psychiatric division 1693 01:40:39,783 --> 01:40:41,451 in a padded cell. 1694 01:40:41,952 --> 01:40:44,996 Then he got picked up for narcotics possession. 1695 01:40:45,205 --> 01:40:47,957 Now he's got to fight that in the courts. 1696 01:40:48,250 --> 01:40:50,376 His health started going bad. 1697 01:40:51,295 --> 01:40:52,462 - Rita, - RITA: Yes, sir. 1698 01:40:52,546 --> 01:40:55,173 change my barber appointment to 3:15. 1699 01:40:55,841 --> 01:40:56,924 He had pleurisy. 1700 01:40:56,967 --> 01:40:58,843 One lung had to be peeled three times, 1701 01:40:59,678 --> 01:41:01,304 and finally it collapsed. 1702 01:41:02,306 --> 01:41:05,975 There were days I didn't know where I'd been. 1703 01:41:06,393 --> 01:41:08,311 ARTIE: He was going broke fast, 1704 01:41:08,353 --> 01:41:11,147 with the lawyer and the doctor bills, 1705 01:41:11,774 --> 01:41:14,317 the dope and the pressure with Honey. 1706 01:41:15,778 --> 01:41:16,986 Poor guy. 1707 01:41:17,071 --> 01:41:20,782 An incision went from his chest to his back. 1708 01:41:21,283 --> 01:41:22,575 Where were we? 1709 01:41:22,659 --> 01:41:26,120 This obscenity circus has been going on for four years. 1710 01:41:26,330 --> 01:41:27,830 It's like a three ring circus. 1711 01:41:27,998 --> 01:41:29,916 Starring the District Attorney, 1712 01:41:30,000 --> 01:41:32,126 Lower Court, and Supreme Court. 1713 01:41:32,169 --> 01:41:35,338 I'm like some schmuck who fell of a high-wire in the middle of it. 1714 01:41:35,380 --> 01:41:36,547 And it's killing me. 1715 01:41:36,632 --> 01:41:39,717 Give me some more sound. 1716 01:41:41,136 --> 01:41:43,221 Where was I? Chicago bust, guilty. 1717 01:41:43,305 --> 01:41:45,598 That case is now being appealed in the Illinois Supreme Court, 1718 01:41:45,682 --> 01:41:49,393 citing the case US 652... 1719 01:41:52,189 --> 01:41:54,440 Come on. Where are you going? 1720 01:41:54,525 --> 01:41:55,733 You want a bit? 1721 01:41:56,902 --> 01:41:59,529 I don't want to do "tits and ass." 1722 01:42:00,280 --> 01:42:02,532 You want to know where it's at? 1723 01:42:03,325 --> 01:42:05,785 That chick has beautiful tits, 1724 01:42:05,869 --> 01:42:09,997 but a picture of those tits is obscene. 1725 01:42:11,208 --> 01:42:15,711 What's offensive to me are newspaper pictures of tits 1726 01:42:15,796 --> 01:42:19,549 - that have been maimed, burned. - Turn the lights on. 1727 01:42:19,633 --> 01:42:21,092 It's really weird. 1728 01:42:21,176 --> 01:42:22,844 LENNY: Come on. What's happening? 1729 01:42:22,886 --> 01:42:24,804 This man's under arrest. 1730 01:42:24,888 --> 01:42:26,055 What, again? 1731 01:42:26,098 --> 01:42:28,599 What the fuck is going on here, man? 1732 01:42:30,811 --> 01:42:33,563 He used the words "fuck you"... 1733 01:42:33,605 --> 01:42:34,897 LAWYER: Objection! 1734 01:42:34,940 --> 01:42:36,065 It's all out of context. 1735 01:42:36,108 --> 01:42:39,277 JUDGE: The objection is overruled. 1736 01:42:39,945 --> 01:42:41,070 Continue. 1737 01:42:42,239 --> 01:42:44,157 What else do you recall? 1738 01:42:44,908 --> 01:42:46,617 - Did he make a gesture... - Objection! 1739 01:42:46,702 --> 01:42:47,910 He's leading the witness. 1740 01:42:49,121 --> 01:42:51,873 I'll rephrase the question for Mr. Bruce. 1741 01:42:52,749 --> 01:42:54,375 All right, Sergeant, 1742 01:42:54,418 --> 01:42:56,836 what else do you recall happening? 1743 01:42:58,422 --> 01:42:59,755 He made a gesture. 1744 01:42:59,923 --> 01:43:01,257 (GIGGLES) You got it in. 1745 01:43:01,341 --> 01:43:03,134 What sort of gesture? 1746 01:43:03,427 --> 01:43:05,219 He used the microphone. 1747 01:43:05,470 --> 01:43:07,930 Would you mind demonstrating? 1748 01:43:10,184 --> 01:43:12,685 I never meant that to mean jack off! 1749 01:43:12,769 --> 01:43:15,688 It's pathetic! He's doing my act for the court and he's bombing. 1750 01:43:15,772 --> 01:43:16,981 - Mr. Bruce. - Your Honor, 1751 01:43:17,065 --> 01:43:20,151 how can you make a fair judgment when based on what he is doing is obscene! 1752 01:43:20,235 --> 01:43:21,694 No, man. I wanna tell 'em. 1753 01:43:21,862 --> 01:43:23,821 If anybody should do my act, it should be me. 1754 01:43:23,947 --> 01:43:25,740 I could do me better. 1755 01:43:25,782 --> 01:43:28,034 I've been at it longer than anybody else. 1756 01:43:29,369 --> 01:43:31,287 If I could talk to him, 1757 01:43:33,874 --> 01:43:35,791 I know I can make him understand me. 1758 01:43:35,834 --> 01:43:37,919 - He's a human being. - Lenny, he's a tough son of a bitch 1759 01:43:37,961 --> 01:43:39,629 and he doesn't wanna hear one more word from you. 1760 01:43:39,671 --> 01:43:40,796 The next time you open your mouth, 1761 01:43:40,881 --> 01:43:41,923 he'll cite you for contempt. 1762 01:43:41,965 --> 01:43:44,717 You guys aren't representing me the way I asked. 1763 01:43:44,843 --> 01:43:46,260 We're doing the best we can, Lenny. 1764 01:43:46,929 --> 01:43:49,722 (SIGHS) Did you talk to him about me doing my act? 1765 01:43:50,641 --> 01:43:51,933 - No. - Why? 1766 01:43:52,351 --> 01:43:54,977 He has all the tapes. 1767 01:43:55,354 --> 01:43:57,521 You're not in a proper emotional state... 1768 01:43:57,606 --> 01:43:59,315 Oh, I'm fine man. I just know 1769 01:43:59,399 --> 01:44:01,984 if I don't do my act for the court, I'm going to lose. 1770 01:44:02,319 --> 01:44:04,779 Come on man. You know it, he knows it, I know it. 1771 01:44:05,989 --> 01:44:08,282 Give us a couple of minutes alone. 1772 01:44:08,325 --> 01:44:11,244 No! If it's about me, I want to hear, man. 1773 01:44:11,828 --> 01:44:13,496 Have it your way. 1774 01:44:14,790 --> 01:44:16,457 (WHISPERS) 1775 01:44:16,959 --> 01:44:18,960 You don't have to whisper. 1776 01:44:19,586 --> 01:44:22,088 When the transcript goes to the appellate court, 1777 01:44:22,172 --> 01:44:23,923 I don't want you in the record. 1778 01:44:24,007 --> 01:44:25,591 We're eating a guilty verdict here. 1779 01:44:25,676 --> 01:44:28,344 You eat the verdicts. I do the time. 1780 01:44:28,470 --> 01:44:30,263 I mean, it is really bizarre. 1781 01:44:30,389 --> 01:44:33,391 These lower courts are meaningless. 1782 01:44:33,475 --> 01:44:35,017 It'll be like Chicago. 1783 01:44:35,102 --> 01:44:37,603 We'll appeal. 1784 01:44:37,688 --> 01:44:39,188 That took almost two years 1785 01:44:39,231 --> 01:44:40,523 and every nickel I had. 1786 01:44:40,565 --> 01:44:43,526 You guys don't understand, I had to borrow 10 bucks just to get here. 1787 01:44:43,610 --> 01:44:45,987 I'm like a nigger in Alabama looking to use the toilet. 1788 01:44:46,029 --> 01:44:48,572 By the time I get relief, it'll be too late. 1789 01:44:48,782 --> 01:44:50,783 I don't want to go to jail. 1790 01:44:51,076 --> 01:44:52,827 I'll tell you something else. 1791 01:44:52,869 --> 01:44:54,412 Put me on the stand 1792 01:44:54,496 --> 01:44:56,580 to do my act for that court, 1793 01:44:56,665 --> 01:45:01,294 or I'm going to sue your asses and go and represent myself. 1794 01:45:01,712 --> 01:45:03,379 No more bullshit. 1795 01:45:04,047 --> 01:45:06,132 If it please the court, 1796 01:45:07,050 --> 01:45:08,884 I wish to defend myself. 1797 01:45:10,053 --> 01:45:11,721 I no longer relate to my counsel. 1798 01:45:11,763 --> 01:45:14,390 Mr. Bruce, my suggestion is, 1799 01:45:14,474 --> 01:45:16,142 make a request for a continuance. 1800 01:45:16,226 --> 01:45:18,227 You can retain new counsel. 1801 01:45:18,520 --> 01:45:21,230 If you do, I'll grant that request. 1802 01:45:21,273 --> 01:45:23,941 I just want to talk to the court 1803 01:45:25,777 --> 01:45:27,611 without all the bullshit. 1804 01:45:27,696 --> 01:45:30,573 You are making this very difficult. 1805 01:45:30,615 --> 01:45:34,035 Attorneys keep telling me, "Don't worry. 1806 01:45:34,703 --> 01:45:37,079 "The Lower Court, they're all assholes. 1807 01:45:37,122 --> 01:45:38,706 "We'll win in a higher court." 1808 01:45:38,749 --> 01:45:40,750 But I shouldn't lose here. 1809 01:45:41,710 --> 01:45:43,627 Would you please sit down? 1810 01:45:43,712 --> 01:45:45,588 I have the right to speak. 1811 01:45:45,672 --> 01:45:47,715 I'm running out of patience. 1812 01:45:47,758 --> 01:45:50,259 Just let me do my act for the court. 1813 01:45:52,637 --> 01:45:56,432 If you don't think it has any redeeming social value... 1814 01:45:56,516 --> 01:45:58,517 If it just strikes you as dirty and obscene... 1815 01:45:58,602 --> 01:46:00,728 I cannot allow this to continue. 1816 01:46:00,771 --> 01:46:01,896 Your Honor, 1817 01:46:03,774 --> 01:46:06,192 I so want your respect. 1818 01:46:08,070 --> 01:46:09,820 You're a good person. 1819 01:46:09,905 --> 01:46:11,614 This legal system is the best, 1820 01:46:11,698 --> 01:46:14,450 but you can't hear me. 1821 01:46:14,493 --> 01:46:15,701 Mr. Bruce, sit down. 1822 01:46:15,786 --> 01:46:16,994 When I'm talking about tits and ass, 1823 01:46:17,079 --> 01:46:19,497 I'm not just shocking the audience 1824 01:46:19,623 --> 01:46:21,791 by repeating those words, "tits and ass." 1825 01:46:22,876 --> 01:46:27,213 My point is we live in a hypocritical society. 1826 01:46:27,297 --> 01:46:31,050 I find you in contempt of this court. 1827 01:46:34,554 --> 01:46:35,721 Okay. 1828 01:46:40,352 --> 01:46:43,104 Sentence me. I have no money left. 1829 01:46:43,480 --> 01:46:45,481 Might I be sentenced now? 1830 01:46:46,108 --> 01:46:48,818 I can't afford to be on trial. 1831 01:46:49,778 --> 01:46:52,154 The police took away my cabaret card. 1832 01:46:52,197 --> 01:46:53,989 I can't work anymore. 1833 01:46:55,575 --> 01:46:57,785 I will not sentence you today. 1834 01:46:57,994 --> 01:47:00,329 When you appear here again, 1835 01:47:00,414 --> 01:47:02,331 appear with suitable counsel. 1836 01:47:02,416 --> 01:47:06,293 I am further ordering psychiatric evaluation. 1837 01:47:07,003 --> 01:47:09,046 December 16th. Bail continued. 1838 01:47:09,131 --> 01:47:11,173 You're trying to stop the information! 1839 01:47:11,258 --> 01:47:14,093 Bailiff, remove this man from the courtroom. 1840 01:47:15,929 --> 01:47:18,514 The information keeps the country strong! 1841 01:47:18,598 --> 01:47:20,349 You need a deviate. 1842 01:47:20,809 --> 01:47:22,476 Don't shut him up! 1843 01:47:22,811 --> 01:47:26,272 You need a mad man who tells you when you're blowing it! 1844 01:47:26,606 --> 01:47:29,692 The harder you come down on the deviate, the more you need him. 1845 01:47:30,694 --> 01:47:32,695 Don't take away my words! 1846 01:47:34,531 --> 01:47:36,490 I'm not hurting anybody. 1847 01:47:43,373 --> 01:47:44,582 INTERVIEWER: He was found guilty in New York 1848 01:47:44,666 --> 01:47:46,167 and sentenced to four months in the penitentiary. 1849 01:47:46,209 --> 01:47:47,460 Is that right? 1850 01:47:47,544 --> 01:47:48,586 Yes. 1851 01:47:48,879 --> 01:47:51,380 He was frightened of being confined? 1852 01:47:51,798 --> 01:47:52,965 Yes. 1853 01:47:54,342 --> 01:47:57,136 INTERVIEWER: After he died, they found a letter saying 1854 01:47:57,220 --> 01:47:58,429 he'd lost the house. 1855 01:47:58,513 --> 01:48:02,224 Did that have anything to do with his death? 1856 01:48:03,727 --> 01:48:05,561 I don't know what you mean. 1857 01:48:05,645 --> 01:48:07,438 I'll see you Saturday. 1858 01:48:07,814 --> 01:48:10,065 Do something about that weight. 1859 01:48:10,400 --> 01:48:12,067 I'm going to go on a diet. 1860 01:48:12,110 --> 01:48:13,569 Bye-bye. 1861 01:48:15,363 --> 01:48:17,281 Bye, man. 1862 01:48:18,033 --> 01:48:19,533 (POLICE RADIO) 1863 01:48:27,667 --> 01:48:30,377 I know where you're trying to take this. 1864 01:48:31,254 --> 01:48:33,005 He'd never do that. 1865 01:48:35,759 --> 01:48:37,051 Anyway... 1866 01:48:42,432 --> 01:48:44,767 Why was he trying to lose weight? 1867 01:48:45,519 --> 01:48:47,603 I really loved him. 1868 01:48:49,064 --> 01:48:52,107 I'm happy his records are starting to sell again. 1869 01:48:52,192 --> 01:48:53,651 He was nutty. 1870 01:48:55,820 --> 01:48:58,030 He did a lot of crazy things. 1871 01:48:59,157 --> 01:49:02,326 We were always doing bits to crack each other up. 1872 01:49:02,494 --> 01:49:05,037 INTERVIEWER: Doesn't it strike you as rather ironic 1873 01:49:05,121 --> 01:49:08,332 that the things Lenny was arrested for 1874 01:49:09,334 --> 01:49:12,336 would be considered fairly harmless today? 1875 01:49:13,964 --> 01:49:15,297 HONEY: Well, um... 1876 01:49:16,424 --> 01:49:18,008 I don't really know about that. 1877 01:49:20,845 --> 01:49:22,137 I mean... 1878 01:49:25,892 --> 01:49:29,937 He was just so damn funny. 1879 01:49:31,439 --> 01:49:34,775 You know I'm negotiating for a film based on his life? 1880 01:49:34,818 --> 01:49:36,527 I got all the rights tied up. 1881 01:49:37,821 --> 01:49:40,447 I'm afraid that's all the time I have. 1882 01:49:42,993 --> 01:49:46,120 INTERVIEWER: Thank you very much. 1883 01:49:48,164 --> 01:49:49,832 It was a pleasure. 1884 01:49:51,501 --> 01:49:54,795 LENNY: Into the shithouse for good this time. Forget it.