1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,004 * 2 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:15,283 * Why am I hiding? * 3 00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:20,854 * Why don't I speak? * 4 00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:28,929 * What am I waiting for? * 5 00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:30,864 (giggles) 6 00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:38,439 -How you feeling? -Good. 7 00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:40,441 You sure you're okay he's coming? 8 00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:44,078 I'm not angry anymore. 9 00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:47,381 I think it might even be good to see him. 10 00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:49,083 Good. 11 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:55,256 * We float, we're floating * 12 00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:59,026 * Why can't I let * 13 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,262 * Myself out? * 14 00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:07,235 What's your end-of-life plan? 15 00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:09,370 Easy, toss me off something. 16 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:10,771 Huh? 17 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,440 I want to know how it feels to fly. 18 00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,475 -Oh... -Ooh. Or sex murder me. 19 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:17,245 Yeah, scratch that. Sex murder me for sure. 20 00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:20,548 I'll be on Nancy Grace 24/7, a nation will mourn. 21 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:23,151 Don't let Ron Howard's daughter play me in the movie. 22 00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:24,585 We have beef. 23 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,420 I want to be cremated, 24 00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:30,824 with my ashes kept for eternity in an urn on your mantel. 25 00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:33,994 You may remarry, just no one sexier than me. 26 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:36,497 The one exception being Mark Ruffalo. 27 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:37,898 Fair enough. 28 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,734 Mm. Mm... 29 00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:44,071 (grunts) Actually, I'm pretty tired. 30 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,106 Oh, okay. 31 00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:49,109 Okay, good night. 32 00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:52,079 It's just that... 33 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:55,916 uh, we've-we've sort of created an expectation 34 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,085 where we do sex whenever 35 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,354 -one of us wants it. -And yet I'm still tired. 36 00:02:00,388 --> 00:02:02,156 -Are you mad about the florist? -I'm fine. 37 00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:04,292 -I want to make it up to you. -Don't bother. 38 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:06,760 -You can't. -How can we make it even? 39 00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:09,129 Do you want to sock me in the face? I'm extra bruisey, 40 00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,632 so you'll get to relish the effects for weeks. 41 00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,634 There's nothing you can do about getting your dick sucked. 42 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,536 I could suck a dick. (chuckles) 43 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,305 To even it out. 44 00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:20,308 Like those "take a penny, leave a penny" cups. 45 00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:23,344 Make it a zero-blowjob sum gain for me. 46 00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:25,879 Sounds fair. You do that. Suck a dick, Jimmy. 47 00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:28,616 -(chuckles) -No, I'm serious. 48 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,185 Suck a dick. Suck a dick! 49 00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:33,721 Alternately... 50 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,756 just let me be mad. 51 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:47,835 * I'm gonna leave you anyway * 52 00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:50,871 * I'm gonna leave you anyway * 53 00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:53,507 * Gonna leave you anyway. * 54 00:02:57,545 --> 00:03:00,914 Next, we have examples of some of our most popular fillings. 55 00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,750 Uh, butterscotch-cream cheese, 56 00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:06,053 almond ganache, lemon curd, Earl Grey medley, 57 00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:09,523 apricot jam, kiwi-pistachio buttercream. 58 00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:11,392 Hey, you wouldn't think kiwi and pistachio 59 00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:15,128 would go well together, and yet, they don't. 60 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,532 -So when's the big day? -June 9. 61 00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:20,768 -(laughs) Six-nine. Nice. -Sex number. 62 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:23,103 They get it. What about you? 63 00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:24,338 We're already married. Shh. 64 00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:26,440 QUINN: We got totally caught up in the hype 65 00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:28,409 and spent way too much money on our wedding. 66 00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:29,910 Our ring bearer was an actual bear. 67 00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,579 Deep-sixed our finances for years. 68 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,080 RACHEL: So we stick it to the wedding-industrial complex 69 00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:35,115 whenever we can. It feels so good. 70 00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:37,117 Yeah. Rachel has a personality disorder. 71 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,119 I shoplift. I mean, I used to. 72 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:40,888 So scamming free cakes or menu tastings 73 00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,923 really scratches the itch. 74 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:46,260 It's our third tasting of the day. Quinn is in AA. 75 00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:47,961 Micro-transgressions make drinking 76 00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:49,463 fucking seltzer water tolerable. 77 00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:51,532 -(both laugh) -I love shoplifting. 78 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,401 I basically stole this whole outfit. 79 00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:56,637 -And Jimmy's a total alcoholic. -Hmm? 80 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,105 Hey, if you guys want our help gaming the system, 81 00:03:58,138 --> 00:03:59,973 we could save you a buck or two. 82 00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:03,110 We have low to no morals, so we would be totally up for that. 83 00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:04,712 Great. 84 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,280 -QUINN: Hi. -RACHEL: Oh, hi. Yes. 85 00:04:06,314 --> 00:04:09,116 Jimmy, we're gonna have couple friends. 86 00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:11,084 The hardest of passes. 87 00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:12,753 Couple friends, Jimmy. 88 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,755 All married people need couple friends. 89 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:17,224 It's a must-have. Couple friends. 90 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,726 Stop saying "couple friends." 91 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,328 We are not going to have... 92 00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:23,731 -Couple friends! -(laughter) 93 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:24,965 Thank you so much for having us over, you guys. 94 00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,900 Oh, we love wine hangs on the patio. 95 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,101 We have never done this once. 96 00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:30,504 Why not? You have a gorgeous view. 97 00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:33,106 -We do? -Do we? Hmm. 98 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,309 Here is our wedding binder. 99 00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:37,811 The orange tabs are the easiest places to scam. 100 00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:40,113 Purple means you can get actual cash out of them. 101 00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:42,750 DJs, photographers, flowers. 102 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:46,687 We may actually be in the market for a new florist. Right, Jimmy? 103 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:47,955 RACHEL: Venues. 104 00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:50,324 -Very cool. -I'm glad we could do this. 105 00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:52,826 Hey, how are you guys? 106 00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:54,828 -Shh. -Oh, they can't hear us. 107 00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:58,098 We're not really even here anymore. Watch. 108 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,001 I don't believe in the Holocaust. 109 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,836 -So, example... -I like that you can smoke there. 110 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:05,272 Huh. Huh. Let me try. 111 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:09,209 Um, Gretchen, you eat your butt, 112 00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,645 and farts from your butt. 113 00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:14,382 Oh... (chuckles) 114 00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:16,216 So, why'd you ask about me and Gretchen? 115 00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:18,986 Oh, well, planning a wedding can be stressful. 116 00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:22,122 Also, because of the little thing with the florist. 117 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,792 (laughs) Rachel and Gretchen have been texting. 118 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:27,194 So I gather privacy goes out the window with couple friends? 119 00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:30,564 Jimmy, you have no secrets anymore. (chuckles) 120 00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:33,066 -Fantastic. -But seriously, 121 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:35,869 if you ever need someone to listen, I'm here. 122 00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:38,305 Okay, Michael Messner, sociologist and proponent 123 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:41,809 of more emotional elasticity in traditional masculine roles. 124 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,977 I know, I know. I'm a big old softy. 125 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,579 AA will do that to you. 126 00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:49,417 Never stop drinking, Jimmy. 127 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:50,884 It's horrible. 128 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:56,657 Man, I would love to come out here 129 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,026 and fly my drone over the reservoir sometime. 130 00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:01,028 Oh, I have a drone, too. 131 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,830 (chuckles) Well, had. 132 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:06,099 They really should put a "Return Home" button on the controls. 133 00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,135 They do. 134 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:13,006 Ah. What do you know? 135 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,241 -Mm-hmm. -(laughs) 136 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,951 So, um, what did Gretchen tell Rachel about the, uh, 137 00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:28,522 you know, t-the time I let someone else fly my drone? 138 00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:31,124 Was she upset about the flight? 139 00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:34,061 Because she's been cagey about it. 140 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:37,330 Well, how would you feel if someone flew her drone? 141 00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:43,103 So this place, these are the photographers. 142 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,138 -(drone whirring) -This is the whole section of photographers. 143 00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,540 This guy is hot, he's good, 144 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:48,075 -he's passionate... -(bushes rustle) 145 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,450 They're so cool. 146 00:06:56,484 --> 00:06:58,285 Do you think she likes me? 147 00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:00,554 I think she likes me. 148 00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:03,491 Why are you quiet? Does she not like me? 149 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,125 Goddamn it. 150 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,928 Of course she did. Who wouldn't like you? 151 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,568 So you talked to Rachel about it. 152 00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:16,069 -About what? -It. The florist thing. 153 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,739 Yet you won't talk to me about it. 154 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,674 -No. -But you talked to Rachel about it. 155 00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:22,075 -We're friends. -She told Quinn. 156 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,311 -They're married. -And Quinn told me she told him. 157 00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:25,579 Seems like you've cracked the case 158 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,180 of who knows what, Dr. Dolittle. 159 00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:28,749 Dr. Dolittle talked to animals. 160 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,184 Dr. House. 161 00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:34,855 You should be happy for me getting a female friend! 162 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:37,658 I get nervous just texting her because I just know 163 00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,660 I'm gonna say something that will make her hate me. 164 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:42,429 So yes, I open up to her, 165 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:46,266 like girls are supposed to do, and it's actually working. 166 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,602 So you should be goddamn happy for me! 167 00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:51,371 Hey. 168 00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:52,840 Are you okay? 169 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:56,009 Do you need to up your medication dosage, maybe? 170 00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,548 You got a blowjob 171 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,950 from a vendor for our wedding. 172 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,986 Okay. Then let's talk about it. 173 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:09,056 No. I told you. Suck a dick, or leave me alone about it. 174 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:12,560 Okay, but really... what can I do? 175 00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:15,228 I am dead serious. You're right. 176 00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:18,331 That's the only way to make things even. 177 00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:22,202 Put a dick in your mouth and suck on it. 178 00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:25,673 Let me know when you've done that. 179 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,845 (doorbell rings) 180 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,851 Hey. 181 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:41,521 -Hey, girl. -(laughs): Come in. 182 00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:43,423 Dope place. 183 00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:45,593 Thanks. It's a flip. 184 00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,795 Well, I am flipping for it. 185 00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:50,664 Cookies! 186 00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:51,865 Thanks. 187 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,601 Such a good idea to do solo hangs. 188 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:56,169 I know. Couple friends, solo style. 189 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,871 Also, I can't be around Jimmy right now. 190 00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:01,441 -Still? -Ugh, I don't know. It's not his fault. 191 00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:03,043 Getting his dick sucked isn't his fault? 192 00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,713 No, that was. Totally. That was scummy. 193 00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,414 I just mean that's not, like... 194 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:09,817 all of it, you know? 195 00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:15,455 Anyways, let's talk about literally anything else. 196 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:19,026 Um, rhubarb! Homemade soap! Feminist porn! 197 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,761 -The gig economy! -Bowling! 198 00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:22,630 Costa Rica! Doughnuts! 199 00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,231 -Alcohol? -Ladybugs! 200 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:25,633 No, I'm asking do you want some alcohol? 201 00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,300 Oh, God, yes. 202 00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:30,604 I hope we didn't force this solo hang on the boys. 203 00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:33,974 You think they like each other as much as we do? 204 00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:36,009 Impossible. 205 00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:43,216 Why in God's name did I put it out there? 206 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:46,453 I know Gretchen. That was very foolish. 207 00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:48,321 She made me taste my own ejaculate. 208 00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:51,759 -Yeah, I heard about that. -Of course you did. 209 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,461 -You were just making a joke, right? -Yes! 210 00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,930 Well, not a joke precisely. 211 00:09:56,964 --> 00:10:00,100 I was presenting the obvious logical equivalent. 212 00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:02,502 I didn't think she'd latch onto it. 213 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:04,571 Do you know she hasn't spoken to me since? 214 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,273 Wait, am I even supposed to tell you this? 215 00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,741 I don't know the rules. 216 00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:10,577 I'm sorry, Jimmy. This is a tough one. 217 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,445 You could just wait her out? 218 00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:14,281 Do you know how disconcerting it is 219 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,349 to live with someone who will not talk to you? 220 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:19,452 I just keep pretending I'm Harvey Keitel in The Piano 221 00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:21,521 and Gretchen is a fetching mute. 222 00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:23,156 You could... 223 00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:27,327 you know... do it. 224 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,330 What? No, no. 225 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:33,801 No, I can't... I couldn't... I-I can't do that. 226 00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:36,536 I know, but, I mean, 227 00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:38,305 it is just skin. 228 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:41,641 Attached to a disgusting, hairy, male man. 229 00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,643 -Wait, you haven't ever? -No. 230 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,014 Uh... I mean, maybe. 231 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:50,283 I used to black out a lot. But, look, 232 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:52,285 it's not that big a deal. 233 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:55,188 It might even be interesting, experientially speaking. 234 00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:58,191 -I do enjoy new experiences. -Uh-huh. 235 00:10:58,225 --> 00:11:00,360 Though, generally ones with less immediate proximity 236 00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:02,329 -to testicles. -Mm-hmm. 237 00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,732 No, look, even if I could S a D, 238 00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:06,734 where would I find the D to S? 239 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,635 A dating app. 240 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,805 My brother uses this one all the time. 241 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,673 He lets me help him pick dudes. 242 00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:15,675 And you can basically order anything. 243 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:18,245 It's like Postmates for penis. Check it out. 244 00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:21,081 You can see what each guy is down for right here. 245 00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:22,549 Here's one! 246 00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:26,920 This guy is willing to host and he's looking for oral ASAP. 247 00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:29,356 -Well, he looks pleasant enough. -Mm-hmm. 248 00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,691 -Like a small-town veterinarian. -Yeah. 249 00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:33,160 Or the first soldier 250 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,495 -to die in a war movie. Yeah. -Yes. 251 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,264 -Let's make your profile. -Oh, okay. 252 00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:39,266 Uh, wait, wait. Um... 253 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,102 (shutter clicks) 254 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:45,672 Very nice. Now look like a rough boy. 255 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,140 Oh. 256 00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:51,879 Mm, maybe go back to the duck lips. 257 00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:55,282 Just a little aggressive. There we go. 258 00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:58,551 You can't help but to start to imagine 259 00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:00,687 this entire personality 260 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,423 and childhood and college essays 261 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:05,092 for this thing that's living inside of you, 262 00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,960 even though you know you're not supposed to. 263 00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:09,229 How can you help it? 264 00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:12,565 Anyway, so that was hard to get over. 265 00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:17,404 Not sure I am yet. I know I'm gun-shy to try again. 266 00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:20,607 -Right. Totally. -So... 267 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,109 how about you? 268 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,644 Oh, yeah, no, nothing like that. 269 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:27,747 I cut myself trying to trim my pubes once, so I get it. 270 00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:30,383 I mean, do you guys want children? 271 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:34,254 Oh, uh... Shit. 272 00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:37,590 Babies... I don't know. 273 00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:39,793 I like them when they're dressed up like animals, 274 00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:42,162 but I don't yet totally know if I... 275 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,832 You don't know if you want to be a mom? Totally normal. 276 00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:47,267 Oh, no, I want it. I was gonna say "should." 277 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,336 I don't know if I should be a... 278 00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:54,241 Do you want to... Do you want me to put on some music? 279 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:57,677 I have a mental thing. Uh... whatchamacallit, 280 00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:00,147 clinical depression. 281 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:05,252 -Sorry. -No. 282 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,154 Sorry, I'm sorry. Um, I'm just flinchy. 283 00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:09,422 -I want a hug. -It's okay. 284 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,525 Hey, in fact... (chuckles) let's hug 285 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:16,129 as soon as I go pee-pee in your toilet. 286 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:18,165 Then we're gonna hug like motherfuckers. 287 00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,010 (phone chimes) 288 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:34,314 He says his door is unlocked. 289 00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:37,184 It's go time. You got this. 290 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,852 Easy peasy. 291 00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:41,621 Mouthwash, gum, antibacterial wipes. 292 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,390 Stash it in a bush. 293 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:46,093 Remember, this is for your lady. It's just skin. 294 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,507 You got this! 295 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,579 Hello. 296 00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,381 MAN: Hello. 297 00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:12,585 Oh. There you are. 298 00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:17,991 Got a lovely, lovely house. Books! 299 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:20,027 Very nice. 300 00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,428 I don't know this neighborhood. 301 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:24,231 Seems to have a high walkability rating. 302 00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:27,500 Shh. Take off your shirt. 303 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:31,004 Ah. Okay. 304 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,439 Just like that. 305 00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:35,075 Decisive. Good on you, mate. 306 00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,151 (exhales) 307 00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,787 I'm a little nervous. You see, this is my... 308 00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:48,855 Can you stop talking? 309 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,791 Right, yeah, okay, okay. 310 00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:55,128 Silencio, por favor. 311 00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:57,064 I'll just-I'll just get at it then. 312 00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,065 Um... 313 00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:00,800 Could you make it a little sexy? 314 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,937 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, well, I plan to. 315 00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:20,487 Yeah, it's lovely. 316 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,889 Oh, you like that? You like that? 317 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,124 See, I do not work out, 318 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,459 like, in a traditional sense, 319 00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:28,795 but I have a top-notch calisthenics routine-- 320 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:31,731 yeah, the name of which is derived 321 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,833 from Callisthenes of Olynthus. 322 00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:37,404 Fun fact, Aristotle was his great uncle. 323 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,938 Now, you might wonder... 324 00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:41,108 That was quick. How'd it go? 325 00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,776 -He disinvited me. -What? Why? 326 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:46,279 He accused me of being a closeted virgin, 327 00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,115 and then I sort of lunged at him awkwardly, 328 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,482 fell into his leg, 329 00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:51,484 knocked over a picture puzzle he'd been working on. 330 00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:52,685 He was livid. 331 00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:55,922 I mean, his attitude at the end was a real turnoff. 332 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,124 (phone chimes) 333 00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,492 He gave you zero eggplants. 334 00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:02,029 Zero?! How dare he! 335 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,963 Well, in retaliation, I shall give him... 336 00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:06,866 -(phone chimes) -Uh, you can't. He blocked you. 337 00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:11,004 Where's your shirt? 338 00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,673 (gasps) 339 00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,387 (toilet flushes) 340 00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:46,339 (mouthing) 341 00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,185 What are you doing? 342 00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,987 Nothing. I was just seeing if you had a cat. 343 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,123 Do you have a cat? Because I couldn't find one. 344 00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:07,394 Oh, the comb. I was thinking of getting one of these, 345 00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:09,629 and I wanted to know if it could fit in my bra. 346 00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:13,400 Why, are you accusing me of stealing? 347 00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:17,036 That is really messed up of you, Rachel. Projecting much? 348 00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:18,705 -(laughs) -What? 349 00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,773 Why are you laughing at me? 350 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:24,411 This is my absolute favorite part of a new friendship. 351 00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,279 When the real comes out. 352 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:34,287 Listen, Gretchen, here's how it is with me. 353 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:36,789 I don't let just anyone in. 354 00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:40,460 But I don't lose people, so... 355 00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:44,531 once you're in, you're in for life. 356 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,566 (stifled laugh) 357 00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:55,108 (sobs softly) 358 00:17:55,142 --> 00:17:57,244 But, seriously, I am gonna need my grandmother's comb back. 359 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:05,051 (crying softly) 360 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,653 -QUINN: What are you gonna do? -JIMMY: Eh. 361 00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:09,789 Just live a sexless existence next to a prickly, mute, 362 00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:11,891 redheaded ball of anger and recrimination 363 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,726 until she eventually leaves me. 364 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:18,231 Or enact some far worse revenge gleaned from countless hours 365 00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:20,133 spent watching Snapped, 366 00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:23,670 in which women finally, you know, snap. 367 00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,838 Fuck this. You can't give up. 368 00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:28,241 Let's go to the West Hollywood bars. I'll wingman you. 369 00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:31,844 Oh, forget it. I clearly can't S a stranger's D. 370 00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:35,715 I'd have to at least be comfortable with the guy, or... 371 00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:50,730 (chuckles) 372 00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:06,213 * 373 00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,701 (water running) 374 00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:30,737 (water stops) 375 00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:36,175 I did it. 376 00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:39,145 -Did what? -The thing you told me to do. 377 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,681 I did it. I did the thing. 378 00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:46,085 -I did it. -Jimmy. Wait. 379 00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:48,488 Whoa, what? 380 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:51,023 Jimmy. Jimmy? 381 00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:53,059 -Jimmy! -(chuckles) 382 00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:57,330 (gasps) What are you...? What? Who? 383 00:19:57,364 --> 00:20:01,000 -Quinn. -(gasps) What? What? 384 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,602 What is happening? 385 00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:06,239 Oh, my God. You... 386 00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:09,609 Jimmy! (muffled scream) 387 00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:13,246 What the actual fuck?! 388 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,249 Oh, my God! 389 00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:18,084 You... 390 00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:20,353 you sucked a dick for me. 391 00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:23,923 I say "S'd a D." It's classier. 392 00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:26,959 Wait. Oh, no. But Rachel... 393 00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:29,195 Oh, no, no. It's fine. He called her right before he left. 394 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,264 She thought it was hilarious. 395 00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:33,199 Really? Seriously? 396 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:36,102 Ooh. Okay, then. 397 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:39,906 So... we're good? 398 00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,908 Yes, Jimmy. We're good. 399 00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:44,811 I mean, I was just trying to get you off my back. 400 00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:47,280 -What? -Nothing. You did it for me. 401 00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:50,116 Mm. I love you for that. 402 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:55,254 By the way, they're coming over for dinner tomorrow night. 403 00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:56,656 Try not to drop your fork 404 00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,391 and accidentally suck his dick again. 405 00:20:58,425 --> 00:20:59,992 (laughs) 406 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,433 To making connections. 407 00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:09,302 To the serendipity of meeting you guys at that cake tasting, 408 00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:12,572 and to always being open to new experiences. 409 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,240 RACHEL: To letting people in. 410 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,643 And to the lengths our husbands will go 411 00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:18,811 to make us happy. (laughs) 412 00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:21,180 Oh, well. If it was good enough for Oscar Wilde 413 00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:23,850 and Tennessee Williams and Truman Capote 414 00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:25,585 and James Baldwin... 415 00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:29,088 Okay, most of my favorite male writers, actually. 416 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,623 To friends for life. 417 00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:31,858 JIMMY and RACHEL: For life. 418 00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:35,127 * 419 00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:38,598 RACHEL (echoing): I don't let just anyone in... 420 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:42,134 but I don't lose people. Once you're in, you're in for life. 421 00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:44,704 For life! 422 00:21:44,737 --> 00:21:47,474 I don't lose people. You're in for life. 423 00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:49,542 For life. For life. You're in for life. 424 00:21:49,576 --> 00:21:52,679 You're in for life. 425 00:21:52,712 --> 00:21:54,681 Jimmy, what are you guys talking about? 426 00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:56,883 What? 427 00:21:56,916 --> 00:21:58,518 The blowjob. (chuckles) 428 00:21:58,551 --> 00:22:02,321 Gretchen, the, uh... Jimmy? 429 00:22:02,355 --> 00:22:04,056 You did know about the... 430 00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:06,325 Blowjob? You didn't put your... 431 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:07,694 you had his... 432 00:22:07,727 --> 00:22:10,697 your m-mouth, Jimmy? 433 00:22:10,730 --> 00:22:13,833 -What are you doing? -Wait, you didn't tell her? 434 00:22:13,866 --> 00:22:17,236 Gretchen, it's not a big deal. It was all for... Wait. 435 00:22:17,269 --> 00:22:19,539 -Gretchen! -Not one more word! 436 00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:21,808 I thought you told me that she wanted him to. 437 00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:24,877 You thought I wanted my husband to suck your husband's dick? 438 00:22:24,911 --> 00:22:27,380 That's what he told me. That's what he told me. 439 00:22:27,414 --> 00:22:30,417 -That's what you... What the fuck, Jimmy? -Oh, my God. 440 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:32,985 No! No, no, no, no. I d... I didn't want to. 441 00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:35,822 Gretchen, tell her. Tell her. 442 00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:37,590 Did you make up that she said that 443 00:22:37,624 --> 00:22:39,426 just to get me to let you do that? 444 00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:41,828 Why would I say that?! 445 00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:43,596 I think you guys should go! 446 00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:45,432 Yes, I think we should. 447 00:22:51,237 --> 00:22:53,339 (door opens, closes) 448 00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:56,676 What the hell was that? 449 00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:58,611 Eh, she was too much for me. 450 00:23:01,481 --> 00:23:04,451 Anyways, all this talk of BJs... 451 00:23:04,484 --> 00:23:06,719 I need it now. 452 00:23:06,753 --> 00:23:09,155 Hmm-hmm. 453 00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:15,061 Well, okay. 454 00:23:19,432 --> 00:23:23,202 * These seven words * 455 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:26,939 * I say to you * 456 00:23:26,973 --> 00:23:31,811 * One by one * 457 00:23:31,844 --> 00:23:34,046 * I love you * 458 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:37,450 * And you have to know * 459 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:41,120 (whispers): Edgar. 460 00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:43,456 * If I could change * 461 00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:44,924 Edgar. 462 00:23:44,957 --> 00:23:48,561 * How I'm insane * 463 00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:53,232 * If I could learn to leave * 464 00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:56,936 * My troubles behind * 465 00:24:01,641 --> 00:24:05,978 * It's starting to burn * 466 00:24:06,012 --> 00:24:09,582 * And I want to go home * 467 00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:14,420 * Only home I've known * 468 00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:18,858 * Lost in the storm * 469 00:24:18,891 --> 00:24:20,359 * It had to be * 470 00:24:20,392 --> 00:24:25,331 * Seven words to set us free * 471 00:24:25,364 --> 00:24:30,469 * Now I face tomorrow * 472 00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:37,710 * Now I face tomorrow * 473 00:24:39,746 --> 00:24:43,315 * Now I face * 474 00:24:43,349 --> 00:24:45,952 * Tomorrow * 475 00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:49,556 * Tomorr... * 476 00:24:51,390 --> 00:24:54,360 (dog barks) 477 00:24:57,396 --> 00:24:59,365 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH