1 00:00:05,463 --> 00:00:07,598 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:07,718 --> 00:00:17,374 Sync and corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 3 00:00:19,044 --> 00:00:21,312 Selina: Thank you so much for setting this interview up, Dan. 4 00:00:21,346 --> 00:00:22,813 - I really appreciate it. It's perfect. - My pleasure. 5 00:00:22,847 --> 00:00:24,281 Look, this is a walk in the park. 6 00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:27,251 This is a nice casual conversation between two friends. 7 00:00:27,286 --> 00:00:30,389 - Today, America is a guest in your home. - Welcome, America. 8 00:00:30,457 --> 00:00:33,327 The thing to keep in mind is Janet needs this more than you do. 9 00:00:33,361 --> 00:00:36,396 That is so true. I mean, she's kind of a lightweight now. 10 00:00:36,430 --> 00:00:39,021 - We're doing her a favor. - She's a dud. 11 00:00:39,141 --> 00:00:41,267 You know what? We got to prep. Prep time, let's go. 12 00:00:41,387 --> 00:00:44,104 - Dan: Okay. - The song that offended half of Europe? 13 00:00:44,139 --> 00:00:45,706 It didn't offend half of Europe. 14 00:00:45,740 --> 00:00:48,510 Okay, fine. Well, I have to tell you, Janet, 15 00:00:48,578 --> 00:00:50,179 that was a lighthearted parody. 16 00:00:50,213 --> 00:00:52,015 On the campaign trail, you and Andrew were all smiles, 17 00:00:52,049 --> 00:00:54,651 but behind the scenes you were fighting like snakes in a bag. 18 00:00:54,719 --> 00:00:56,754 You're a fraud and a liar, ma'am. 19 00:00:56,788 --> 00:00:59,390 - Wow. What? What are you doing? - I'm hitting you. 20 00:00:59,424 --> 00:01:01,892 Guys, we're prepping for a puff piece, not for a roast. 21 00:01:01,926 --> 00:01:03,327 Right. What is she wearing, by the way? 22 00:01:03,361 --> 00:01:06,197 She's wearing a navy jacket. 23 00:01:06,231 --> 00:01:08,467 It's conservative and desperate at the same time. 24 00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:10,235 What? Look at what I'm wearing. 25 00:01:10,269 --> 00:01:12,771 Do we know what she's wearing yet? Can we find out? 26 00:01:12,805 --> 00:01:14,540 We are gonna go in there in just a moment. 27 00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:16,409 - They're expecting a puff piece. - Right. 28 00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:18,604 There's the bluff puff which we're gonna start out with. 29 00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:20,447 You're her friend. You went to high school together. 30 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:22,616 You guys like each other. Then we switch right over to rough puff. 31 00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,585 Nobody does rough puff like you. 32 00:01:24,619 --> 00:01:26,487 - ( growls ) - Rrr. Give me that rough puff. 33 00:01:26,521 --> 00:01:28,289 - All right, Puff Daddy. - Ooh. 34 00:01:28,323 --> 00:01:29,824 What is this one doing? 35 00:01:29,858 --> 00:01:32,961 He is moving a legless horse. 36 00:01:32,995 --> 00:01:34,696 - Oh, Catherine. - Miss Ryland. 37 00:01:34,730 --> 00:01:36,565 It is such an honor to meet you. 38 00:01:36,599 --> 00:01:38,801 It's a pleasure to meet you. 39 00:01:38,835 --> 00:01:40,536 - I'm such a fan of yours. - Thank you. 40 00:01:40,570 --> 00:01:42,805 I actually am hoping to study broadcast journalism. 41 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,109 Right now I'm studying film studies and postmodern dance. 42 00:01:46,143 --> 00:01:48,845 How wonderful. We'll have to talk about that 43 00:01:48,879 --> 00:01:51,181 - when the cameras are rolling. - I would love that. 44 00:01:51,215 --> 00:01:52,616 I'm taking this really cool class 45 00:01:52,683 --> 00:01:54,985 where we sort of debate current issues through movement. 46 00:01:55,053 --> 00:01:56,553 - Let's get you miked up. - Oh. 47 00:01:56,588 --> 00:01:58,022 Oh, my God. This is a problem. 48 00:01:58,056 --> 00:01:59,890 - Look at this. - For the poof, you mean? 49 00:01:59,925 --> 00:02:01,425 Put your hands in your pockets. 50 00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:03,728 Looks like I'm masturbating if I got my hands in my pockets. 51 00:02:03,762 --> 00:02:06,298 Put the blanket over it, or is that too FDR? 52 00:02:06,333 --> 00:02:07,573 Can you guys please kneel down? 53 00:02:07,601 --> 00:02:09,602 'Cause I feel like I fell into a well or something 54 00:02:09,636 --> 00:02:11,137 and it's hurting my neck. 55 00:02:11,171 --> 00:02:13,173 Okay, they're gonna bring up the rafting trip. 56 00:02:13,207 --> 00:02:15,442 Well, I took my ex down to the river 57 00:02:15,476 --> 00:02:19,313 and I tried to smash his head in with a rock and then drown-- 58 00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:20,948 - This is Cody Marshall. - Cody Marshall. 59 00:02:20,982 --> 00:02:22,783 - He's the producer for "First Response." - Hi, Cody Marshall. 60 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,986 I'm sorry, am I interrupting a team prayer meeting? 61 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,988 ( laughs ) We're just doing a height thing. 62 00:02:27,056 --> 00:02:28,890 - It was nothing. - Okay. Good luck, everyone. 63 00:02:28,925 --> 00:02:31,159 Thank you so much. Very kind. Thank you. 64 00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:33,195 Thanks for being here. We really appreciate it. 65 00:02:33,229 --> 00:02:36,165 Okay, she's wearing a bluish dress 66 00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:37,766 like she vomited flowers all over herself. 67 00:02:37,801 --> 00:02:39,969 - She's kind of a frumpy librarian. - Okay. All right. 68 00:02:40,003 --> 00:02:42,071 - Yes! All right, we're in business. - What? 69 00:02:42,139 --> 00:02:43,419 Just confirmed-- a leaked e-mail. 70 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,576 Her ex-husband promising access for business favors. 71 00:02:46,610 --> 00:02:48,979 - He actually brags about it. - I know. 72 00:02:49,013 --> 00:02:51,781 - It's almost too painful. - Brags about access. 73 00:02:51,816 --> 00:02:53,316 Just drag her in with the kindness, 74 00:02:53,351 --> 00:02:55,252 then turn great white and start taking chunks out of her. 75 00:02:55,353 --> 00:02:56,753 ( growls ) She's not much of a meal. 76 00:02:56,788 --> 00:02:58,722 - Oh, is it Greg? - Gary. 77 00:02:58,756 --> 00:03:00,557 Gary, we're all set up, so if you can... 78 00:03:00,592 --> 00:03:03,093 Yeah, great. Yeah. 79 00:03:03,128 --> 00:03:05,629 - Madam Vice President. - Janet Ryland. 80 00:03:05,664 --> 00:03:08,800 Gosh, I think the last time that we saw each other was at the... 81 00:03:08,834 --> 00:03:10,936 - The Correspondents' Dinner. - The Correspondents' Dinner. 82 00:03:10,970 --> 00:03:13,372 That's right. I think you've grown since then. 83 00:03:13,406 --> 00:03:14,846 Either that or you've gotten shorter. 84 00:03:14,874 --> 00:03:16,208 Oh, well... 85 00:03:16,243 --> 00:03:17,910 No, it's me. I've got heels on. 86 00:03:17,945 --> 00:03:19,946 Well, anyway, I'm so happy you're here. 87 00:03:20,014 --> 00:03:22,048 So you found the joint okay. 88 00:03:22,083 --> 00:03:24,718 Oh, yeah, I think this is our fourth vice presidential interview. 89 00:03:24,752 --> 00:03:26,053 - Is that so? - Mm-hmm. 90 00:03:26,088 --> 00:03:28,122 The three of them were excellent, so no pressure. 91 00:03:28,190 --> 00:03:31,059 - He's talking to me. - Okay. 92 00:03:31,093 --> 00:03:33,261 So what is the plan, then? What are we going to do? 93 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:36,098 Well, we'll start, I think, just with a little walk around the room. 94 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,767 And then the formal interview, I thought, right here. 95 00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:40,269 - Oh, right here? Okay. - Yeah. 96 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,138 But that means that this has to go. 97 00:03:42,172 --> 00:03:44,173 I thought you were doing it over there. 98 00:03:44,208 --> 00:03:46,976 No, we did, but we're gonna do it here, and that's perfectly fine. 99 00:03:47,010 --> 00:03:50,213 So we'll get that poor thing away. 100 00:03:50,247 --> 00:03:52,348 Anyway, have you met my daughter? 101 00:03:52,383 --> 00:03:55,285 So you did get my final e-mail on topics? 102 00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:57,887 - No, but my spam filter did. - Seriously, did you get it? 103 00:03:57,922 --> 00:04:00,357 Did I? ( laughs ) 104 00:04:00,391 --> 00:04:03,393 Yeah, we're all set. Let's make some history here, folks. 105 00:04:03,428 --> 00:04:05,396 Cody: Okay, roll cameras. 106 00:04:05,430 --> 00:04:07,765 Thank you so much for inviting us 107 00:04:07,799 --> 00:04:09,867 into your home today, Madam Vice President. 108 00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:11,535 Oh, well, it's certainly my pleasure. 109 00:04:11,603 --> 00:04:15,006 I thought it might be fun to talk about what's original 110 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,908 and what's been augmented over the years. 111 00:04:16,942 --> 00:04:19,077 We're talking about the building, right? 112 00:04:19,111 --> 00:04:21,680 ( both laugh ) 113 00:04:21,714 --> 00:04:24,550 - Because I'm original. - You certainly are. 114 00:04:24,584 --> 00:04:26,251 - No, yes, the building, ma'am. - Yes. 115 00:04:26,319 --> 00:04:29,387 Selina: The building itself is Queen Anne style. 116 00:04:29,422 --> 00:04:33,158 Many of the objay-ects-- objects 117 00:04:33,192 --> 00:04:36,128 are from the good old boys in the Navy, as a matter of fact. 118 00:04:36,162 --> 00:04:37,729 - Really? - Jolly Jack Tars. 119 00:04:37,764 --> 00:04:41,767 For instance, this-- this spyglass here, or telescope-- 120 00:04:41,801 --> 00:04:43,335 - To see spies. - ( laughs ) 121 00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,670 If only, right? 122 00:04:44,704 --> 00:04:46,638 You know, since you brought it up, 123 00:04:46,706 --> 00:04:49,274 would you care to comment on the CIA operative 124 00:04:49,309 --> 00:04:51,777 rescued with the students in Uzbekistan? 125 00:04:51,811 --> 00:04:54,746 Well, I really-- I wouldn't know what to say 126 00:04:54,780 --> 00:04:56,848 because at this point 127 00:04:56,882 --> 00:04:59,384 the investigation is pending. 128 00:04:59,418 --> 00:05:02,187 Now this here 129 00:05:02,222 --> 00:05:05,190 is a stunning sort of navigational device. 130 00:05:05,224 --> 00:05:07,125 I just thought you might want to comment 131 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:10,696 on how he endangered the lives of those young students. 132 00:05:10,730 --> 00:05:12,931 But it would be wrong and unethical 133 00:05:12,998 --> 00:05:16,935 for me to prejudge the investigation. 134 00:05:19,938 --> 00:05:21,939 - This is a bell. - ( rings ) 135 00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:24,908 Can we get some shots of just you and Janet walking in the hallway? 136 00:05:24,943 --> 00:05:26,176 - Sure. - No sound. 137 00:05:26,211 --> 00:05:27,845 We're gonna just do some establishing shots. 138 00:05:27,879 --> 00:05:29,713 - We'll put her voice over-- - We'll lay that in later. 139 00:05:29,747 --> 00:05:32,015 - Yeah, okay. - Cody: And action. 140 00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:36,486 Yeah, I thought we said that the spy thing 141 00:05:36,521 --> 00:05:38,622 was completely off-limits, you know? 142 00:05:38,656 --> 00:05:40,157 I'm sorry, it seemed to me-- 143 00:05:40,191 --> 00:05:42,827 I'm really hoping that that's gonna be the last 144 00:05:42,861 --> 00:05:45,796 and only gotcha question. 145 00:05:45,831 --> 00:05:49,867 It just seemed to me that you were wanting me to bring it up. 146 00:05:49,902 --> 00:05:52,570 No, that wasn't the case at all. 147 00:05:52,638 --> 00:05:54,206 I understand why you're tense. 148 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:55,674 No, I'm not tense, Janet. 149 00:05:55,708 --> 00:05:57,409 I'm not even remotely tense. 150 00:05:57,476 --> 00:05:59,578 Just trying to get this done right. 151 00:05:59,612 --> 00:06:02,113 - Mm-hmm. - This is some old shit 152 00:06:02,148 --> 00:06:03,948 by somebody, I don't know who it is. 153 00:06:03,982 --> 00:06:06,184 - Is this house haunted? - Oh, God, I don't know. 154 00:06:06,218 --> 00:06:08,052 I hate this house, to tell you the truth. 155 00:06:08,087 --> 00:06:10,621 It's like living in a doll's jail. 156 00:06:10,656 --> 00:06:12,897 - Cynthia, could I get clips? - Cody: Okay, let's settle. 157 00:06:12,925 --> 00:06:15,394 - Clear the background, please. - Gives you a nicer line. 158 00:06:15,428 --> 00:06:17,962 - Oh, really? - You don't need clips. Your shape is great. 159 00:06:17,997 --> 00:06:19,597 - But what about this? - Oh, my God. 160 00:06:19,631 --> 00:06:22,500 Okay, here, let's tuck this under. Put your hands like this. 161 00:06:24,937 --> 00:06:27,205 - But that looks like I have a stomachache. - Thank you so much. 162 00:06:27,239 --> 00:06:30,241 Okay, let's roll cameras. 163 00:06:30,276 --> 00:06:32,677 Everybody settle in here. Thank you, Glen. 164 00:06:32,711 --> 00:06:34,445 - Sound? - Man: Sound speeding. 165 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,347 And we are rolling. 166 00:06:36,381 --> 00:06:38,716 You know what? I'm feeling a little bit dark. 167 00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:40,751 Yeah, just want to... 168 00:06:40,785 --> 00:06:43,120 Gary, can we get that light back? 169 00:06:43,154 --> 00:06:45,622 Sorry, let's move that light back. 170 00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:47,757 Can we get a couple of lights for the vice president? 171 00:06:47,792 --> 00:06:49,860 Yeah, let me just pull that out of my ass. 172 00:06:49,894 --> 00:06:52,896 It's DC. You can find someone willing to open their ass on a Sunday. 173 00:06:52,931 --> 00:06:55,366 Great, good luck. Sound is speeding. 174 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,935 Everyone is set and settled. They look great. 175 00:06:58,003 --> 00:07:00,071 And rolling. 176 00:07:02,374 --> 00:07:04,307 Have you read Randall Howard's 177 00:07:04,342 --> 00:07:07,177 "Hearts of Power: DC's Most Influential Couples"? 178 00:07:07,211 --> 00:07:09,780 Sadly, I don't have a lot of time to read fiction. 179 00:07:09,814 --> 00:07:11,948 ( laughs ) 180 00:07:11,983 --> 00:07:14,952 Janet: Now, during the election, 181 00:07:14,986 --> 00:07:17,087 there were reports of screaming matches 182 00:07:17,121 --> 00:07:19,356 with you and your ex-husband Andrew 183 00:07:19,390 --> 00:07:22,026 and suggestions that the smiles and shows of affection 184 00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:23,527 were all faked for the camera. 185 00:07:23,561 --> 00:07:26,363 Was your friendship all for show? 186 00:07:26,398 --> 00:07:28,599 Absolutely not. 187 00:07:28,633 --> 00:07:31,702 Now, Andrew was on the campaign trail with me, 188 00:07:31,736 --> 00:07:34,872 really, because he shared, and still does share, 189 00:07:34,906 --> 00:07:36,707 my vision for America. 190 00:07:36,741 --> 00:07:39,043 - Cody: Okay. - Amy: We'd like to reset for lighting. 191 00:07:39,077 --> 00:07:41,412 - We're gonna reset for lighting. - Just a quick lighting reset. 192 00:07:41,447 --> 00:07:44,749 And, really, she can move on from Andrew. 193 00:07:44,817 --> 00:07:46,457 I mean, she can push as much as she likes, 194 00:07:46,485 --> 00:07:48,653 but you're just gonna get the same answer, so... 195 00:07:48,688 --> 00:07:51,156 Hmm, have you seen television news before? 196 00:07:51,190 --> 00:07:53,825 No, I am hoping to get the box set for Christmas, though. 197 00:07:53,860 --> 00:07:55,561 - That's what it feels like. - Uh-huh. 198 00:07:55,595 --> 00:07:57,963 - ( phone ringing ) - What? Excuse me. 199 00:07:57,997 --> 00:08:00,599 - Okay. - Yes? 200 00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:02,368 - What are you-- - Come here. 201 00:08:02,402 --> 00:08:05,104 - Why? Why are you calling me? - Come here. 202 00:08:05,138 --> 00:08:07,907 Jesus, you might as well cut out eyeholes 203 00:08:07,941 --> 00:08:10,609 and peer through a fucking newspaper. What the fuck are you doing? 204 00:08:10,644 --> 00:08:12,411 It's "Apocalypse Now." 205 00:08:12,445 --> 00:08:14,747 There's an e-mail from Andrew to a lobbyist. 206 00:08:14,814 --> 00:08:16,615 He's claiming super access to Selina. 207 00:08:16,649 --> 00:08:18,617 - He's bragging about it. - This? 208 00:08:18,652 --> 00:08:20,353 It's fucking Andrew, yeah. 209 00:08:20,387 --> 00:08:22,021 - Madam Vice President. - Yes? Yes? 210 00:08:22,055 --> 00:08:25,190 Does your ex-husband Andrew have any political aspirations? 211 00:08:25,225 --> 00:08:26,905 - Oh, my goodness. - We've got to tell her. 212 00:08:26,927 --> 00:08:30,195 - We've got to tell her. - No, no, no, don't say anything to Selina. 213 00:08:30,230 --> 00:08:31,931 - Why? - 'Cause Janet's right there. 214 00:08:31,965 --> 00:08:33,532 You don't think she's gonna notice we're whispering in her ear? 215 00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:35,434 Then she gets on and she tells this dildo to look it up. 216 00:08:35,468 --> 00:08:37,436 - And then we have a fucking story. - What's going on? 217 00:08:37,470 --> 00:08:38,737 Andrew's fucking us again. 218 00:08:38,772 --> 00:08:40,639 He's screwed us in all known dimensions. 219 00:08:40,707 --> 00:08:42,241 - What's new? - Another scandal. 220 00:08:42,275 --> 00:08:44,177 Yeah, but this is fucking bad shit. 221 00:08:44,211 --> 00:08:45,812 He's political poison. He's political-- 222 00:08:45,846 --> 00:08:47,814 - Hi, Andrew. - Andrew. 223 00:08:47,848 --> 00:08:50,483 He's been in commercial real estate his entire life. 224 00:08:50,517 --> 00:08:52,986 So there's no reason there would be-- should be a crossover? 225 00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:55,355 Well, I certainly couldn't, you know, 226 00:08:55,389 --> 00:08:58,691 answer that question for him. 227 00:08:58,726 --> 00:09:01,962 Would it surprise you to learn that only moments ago 228 00:09:01,996 --> 00:09:04,264 a blog has reported that your ex-husband 229 00:09:04,298 --> 00:09:08,101 promised a lobbyist favorable access to your office? 230 00:09:09,771 --> 00:09:11,405 Um... 231 00:09:11,439 --> 00:09:13,674 It does exist in an actual e-mail 232 00:09:13,708 --> 00:09:16,843 - from your ex-husband. - Oh, I see. Okay. 233 00:09:16,877 --> 00:09:20,046 "Hi, Jim. Remember, I have the vice president's ear 234 00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:22,516 and I can get all kinds of access to her." 235 00:09:22,550 --> 00:09:26,620 And then there's one of those winking emoticons 236 00:09:26,654 --> 00:09:28,722 at the bottom there. 237 00:09:28,756 --> 00:09:31,058 I'm guessing that that was meant as some sort of a joke. 238 00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:34,528 You know, Andrew Meyer has no influence whatsoever 239 00:09:34,562 --> 00:09:37,097 over my decision-making. 240 00:09:37,132 --> 00:09:39,132 It's hard to believe because you've just painted a picture 241 00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:42,469 of your relationship being very close, extremely close. 242 00:09:42,503 --> 00:09:44,938 We're not telepathically linked. 243 00:09:44,972 --> 00:09:47,407 - He can't read my mind. - Amy: Hey, that's our 15 minutes. 244 00:09:47,441 --> 00:09:49,743 That's the 15-minute mark. Great. Great. 245 00:09:51,779 --> 00:09:54,414 Mike: Let's take a - Oh! Let's take a-God! 246 00:09:54,449 --> 00:09:56,316 - Okay. - Amy: Are you okay, Gary? 247 00:09:56,351 --> 00:09:58,585 Yeah, yeah, I'm good. 248 00:09:58,619 --> 00:10:00,220 Sorry, could I just adjust your radio mike? 249 00:10:00,254 --> 00:10:01,688 - I'm getting some static. - I got it. 250 00:10:01,722 --> 00:10:04,057 Ow! Whoa! Okay, my ears are my livelihood. 251 00:10:04,091 --> 00:10:05,758 - You don't need to-- - Okay, I bet. 252 00:10:05,793 --> 00:10:07,493 All right. Let's just back off. 253 00:10:07,528 --> 00:10:11,030 I know that you want to kill somebody right now... 254 00:10:11,098 --> 00:10:13,599 - Yeah. - ...but unfortunately it can't be anyone in the building. 255 00:10:13,633 --> 00:10:16,102 - Okay? - Okay. 256 00:10:16,136 --> 00:10:19,038 When Selina told me who was gonna be interviewing me, 257 00:10:19,073 --> 00:10:20,439 you couldn't keep me away. 258 00:10:20,474 --> 00:10:22,675 - Talk to you a little later on. - Wonderful. 259 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:23,977 - I look forward to it. - I do, too. 260 00:10:24,011 --> 00:10:26,613 But let's take you now and get you all changed 261 00:10:26,647 --> 00:10:28,381 and fixed up. 262 00:10:28,415 --> 00:10:31,151 When we were married, he took longer in the bathroom than I did. 263 00:10:31,185 --> 00:10:33,887 - That's not true. Why would you say that? - Just get in here. 264 00:10:35,423 --> 00:10:37,558 - What the hell is this thing? - That's a cable. 265 00:10:37,592 --> 00:10:39,326 - Oh, shit. - There's a cable. 266 00:10:39,394 --> 00:10:41,662 Listen to me. What were you thinking? 267 00:10:41,696 --> 00:10:43,263 What? It was a joke. 268 00:10:43,298 --> 00:10:45,499 Once again, Andrew, you have totally 269 00:10:45,534 --> 00:10:48,569 lived down to my expectations. 270 00:10:48,603 --> 00:10:51,305 When I invited you here to the residence 271 00:10:51,339 --> 00:10:53,507 to fuck me, I didn't mean this. 272 00:10:53,541 --> 00:10:54,942 Aren't we using each other? 273 00:10:54,976 --> 00:10:56,310 What are you talking about? 274 00:10:56,344 --> 00:10:58,546 Okay, I'll spell it out for you. 275 00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:01,916 How easy is it for the Vice President of the United States 276 00:11:01,950 --> 00:11:04,719 of America to get some casual sex, hmm? 277 00:11:04,787 --> 00:11:06,688 I'm convenient. 278 00:11:06,722 --> 00:11:09,056 - And, I know-- - Let me tell you something. 279 00:11:09,091 --> 00:11:12,160 That's right, I am the Vice President of the United States 280 00:11:12,228 --> 00:11:16,531 and I choose now not to fuck you anymore. 281 00:11:16,565 --> 00:11:18,766 Time will tell. 282 00:11:18,834 --> 00:11:20,802 I've got to change. 283 00:11:20,870 --> 00:11:22,370 Yeah, you look awful. 284 00:11:22,404 --> 00:11:24,605 - You look wonderful. - Stop it. 285 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,008 Ahem, he's gonna go just change. 286 00:11:27,042 --> 00:11:29,010 - Wait, where's he going? - To get my stuff. 287 00:11:29,044 --> 00:11:30,511 In my bedroom. 288 00:11:30,546 --> 00:11:32,380 Oh, no. Uh-uh. 289 00:11:32,414 --> 00:11:35,116 Oh, Andrew's been veep-fucking? You knew about this? 290 00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:37,719 Okay, this is a category five shit storm. 291 00:11:37,753 --> 00:11:40,054 She's over. She's done. I'm gone. 292 00:11:40,089 --> 00:11:43,958 Cody: Um, I'm wondering if we can get just a shot 293 00:11:43,993 --> 00:11:46,361 of Andrew's entrance just for establishing. 294 00:11:46,395 --> 00:11:48,529 So you guys meet here, kiss, kiss, hi, hi. 295 00:11:48,564 --> 00:11:49,831 It's a family getting together. 296 00:11:49,865 --> 00:11:52,200 No, no, I understand what an entrance is 297 00:11:52,234 --> 00:11:53,668 and how to greet people. I get that. 298 00:11:53,702 --> 00:11:55,603 Cody: That's great. Oh, here he comes! 299 00:11:55,637 --> 00:11:57,705 Amy: No, no, no, wait, wait, wait. 300 00:11:57,773 --> 00:11:59,413 Selina: No, no, you're not gonna get this. 301 00:11:59,441 --> 00:12:01,042 I'm so sorry. We're not gonna do that. 302 00:12:01,077 --> 00:12:02,844 We don't have a front door in our attic 303 00:12:02,878 --> 00:12:05,079 like in some sort of Dr. Seuss book or something. 304 00:12:05,114 --> 00:12:07,914 Sometimes filming these off-guarded moments, things get a little tense. 305 00:12:07,917 --> 00:12:09,584 Well, no, it's not tense at all. 306 00:12:09,618 --> 00:12:11,653 We're having a great time and I'm thrilled you guys are here, 307 00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:13,048 but let's just do it the right way. 308 00:12:13,056 --> 00:12:14,956 - Andrew! - Hi, Dad. 309 00:12:14,991 --> 00:12:16,891 How are you? Nice to see you. Excuse me. 310 00:12:16,926 --> 00:12:19,761 - How are you? - Nice to see you. 311 00:12:19,795 --> 00:12:21,863 - Dad. - Hi. How are you? 312 00:12:21,897 --> 00:12:24,866 - How often does this happen? - Oh, gosh. 313 00:12:24,901 --> 00:12:27,702 Once a week we get together for a gab and a gobble. 314 00:12:27,737 --> 00:12:30,772 Yeah, well, I mean, you know, schedules permitting and stuff 315 00:12:30,806 --> 00:12:33,909 because now I really consider myself to be married 316 00:12:33,943 --> 00:12:36,345 to my vice presidential office. 317 00:12:36,379 --> 00:12:38,714 I mean, recently Mary King and I were working 318 00:12:38,748 --> 00:12:41,382 through the night to avoid this shutdown. 319 00:12:41,417 --> 00:12:44,486 And of course it wasn't-- it wasn't avoided, sadly. 320 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:47,088 Do you think you could have worked a little harder on that? 321 00:12:47,123 --> 00:12:49,324 - ( laughs ) - Well, we are working harder. 322 00:12:49,358 --> 00:12:51,893 - It's frustrating, of course. - Sure. 323 00:12:51,927 --> 00:12:54,829 - To the American people it is. - It's a very long process. 324 00:12:54,863 --> 00:12:57,198 Knock, knock, J Rock is in the-- 325 00:12:57,232 --> 00:13:00,201 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - We're in the middle of filming. 326 00:13:00,236 --> 00:13:03,138 - Oh, my goodness, Jonah. - J Dog. J Dog. 327 00:13:03,172 --> 00:13:05,240 - Howdy, handsome. How are you? - How are you doing? 328 00:13:05,308 --> 00:13:06,975 - Hey, Jonah. - Great to see you again. 329 00:13:07,009 --> 00:13:09,177 God, you've grown up, huh? 330 00:13:09,212 --> 00:13:11,747 - I had a great time at your birthday party. - That's great. 331 00:13:11,781 --> 00:13:13,382 Great to see you. Hey, how's it hanging? 332 00:13:13,416 --> 00:13:17,753 Jonah is our-- dear Jonah is our White House liaison. 333 00:13:17,787 --> 00:13:19,855 Guilty. 334 00:13:19,889 --> 00:13:23,492 And he's one of the more colorful characters in the West Wing. 335 00:13:23,526 --> 00:13:25,193 I'll say. That was quite an entrance. 336 00:13:25,228 --> 00:13:26,928 Oh, thank you. I try to make a mark. 337 00:13:26,963 --> 00:13:29,364 I just want to say I'm a huge fan, by the way. 338 00:13:29,398 --> 00:13:30,932 - I love your work genuinely. - Thank you. 339 00:13:30,966 --> 00:13:32,467 And, actually, I'm gonna give you my card 340 00:13:32,501 --> 00:13:34,302 just in case you ever need any sort of, like, 341 00:13:34,336 --> 00:13:36,171 "inside the West Wing" kind of stuff. 342 00:13:36,205 --> 00:13:38,073 I do occasional media appearances. 343 00:13:38,107 --> 00:13:39,741 I give great talking head. 344 00:13:39,775 --> 00:13:42,610 Jonah, to what may we owe this pleasure? 345 00:13:42,645 --> 00:13:44,846 Oh, I just got off the phone with the White House 346 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:47,014 and in 15 minutes POTUS is going to announce 347 00:13:47,049 --> 00:13:48,883 that the shutdown is over. 348 00:13:50,452 --> 00:13:52,686 - Dan: Is that true? - Isn't that great? 349 00:13:52,721 --> 00:13:55,222 - Isn't that great? - Move in on her. 350 00:13:55,256 --> 00:13:57,458 Yeah, the Speaker, Senate Majority Leader, 351 00:13:57,492 --> 00:13:59,393 and POTUS, they thrashed out a deal 352 00:13:59,428 --> 00:14:02,730 - and we switched America back on. - Uh-huh, yes. 353 00:14:02,765 --> 00:14:04,732 - Congratulations, Madam Vice President. - Thank you. 354 00:14:04,767 --> 00:14:07,168 - ( applause ) - We did it. We did it. You did it. 355 00:14:07,202 --> 00:14:10,104 The resolution took less time than you anticipated. 356 00:14:10,139 --> 00:14:13,307 Well, it took all the time leading up to this time. 357 00:14:13,342 --> 00:14:15,743 So you were expecting a solution today? 358 00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:17,044 Yes, I was, yes. 359 00:14:17,079 --> 00:14:19,713 And yet you said it was going to be a long process. 360 00:14:19,748 --> 00:14:22,549 And it was, yeah. It was. 361 00:14:22,584 --> 00:14:24,351 Were you involved in the-- 362 00:14:24,386 --> 00:14:26,053 Janet, it's like when you loosen a pickle jar 363 00:14:26,087 --> 00:14:27,721 and somebody comes by and they just open it. 364 00:14:27,756 --> 00:14:30,157 This is the shutdown lid loosener. 365 00:14:30,192 --> 00:14:33,194 - The pickle jar loosener. - I like it. 366 00:14:33,228 --> 00:14:36,564 No, but can you talk us through the final agreement? 367 00:14:36,599 --> 00:14:39,100 I can-- it's-- you know-- 368 00:14:39,135 --> 00:14:42,304 I can and I also want to eat some lunch. 369 00:14:42,338 --> 00:14:43,972 Are we hungry? 370 00:14:44,007 --> 00:14:46,407 - Mike: Mm-hmm, definitely. - Amy: Yeah, let's get some lunch. 371 00:14:46,409 --> 00:14:48,343 That's a cut. Yeah, I think that's a cut. 372 00:14:48,378 --> 00:14:49,745 - Amy: Lunchtime. - Mike: That's a cut. 373 00:14:49,779 --> 00:14:51,513 - Okay, she doesn't-- - Oh, my God, she didn't know. 374 00:14:51,547 --> 00:14:54,016 That reminded me why I got into this business. 375 00:14:54,050 --> 00:14:56,285 I am so attracted to you right now. 376 00:14:56,319 --> 00:14:59,054 I think that I'd like to just sit back 377 00:14:59,088 --> 00:15:00,789 and watch you all prepare this meal. 378 00:15:00,824 --> 00:15:01,923 - Pretend I'm not here. - Mm-hmm. 379 00:15:01,958 --> 00:15:03,658 I kind of want to be the fly on a wall. 380 00:15:03,693 --> 00:15:06,661 Oh, my God. Andrew, that's getting everywhere. 381 00:15:06,695 --> 00:15:09,397 Um, I'm gonna get you a... 382 00:15:09,431 --> 00:15:10,865 peeler, okay? 383 00:15:10,899 --> 00:15:12,799 I don't need a peeler. Thank you. 384 00:15:12,834 --> 00:15:16,804 - Yeah, you need a peeler. - Actually, I don't. 385 00:15:16,838 --> 00:15:18,318 Where-- I'm trying to remember where-- 386 00:15:18,339 --> 00:15:20,674 you know how sometimes you have something in your kitchen, 387 00:15:20,708 --> 00:15:22,775 you know where it is, and then all of a sudden you can't find it? 388 00:15:22,810 --> 00:15:24,530 And that is what's happened to me right now. 389 00:15:24,544 --> 00:15:26,845 Well, you probably have so much staff in and out of here-- 390 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:30,516 No, no, no. I know this kitchen like the back of my hand. 391 00:15:30,551 --> 00:15:33,319 Oh, that's not it. 392 00:15:33,353 --> 00:15:35,287 Okay, I don't know where-- 393 00:15:36,422 --> 00:15:38,757 ( groans ) This is maddening. 394 00:15:38,792 --> 00:15:40,926 Do you ever have this happen to you where you're-- 395 00:15:40,994 --> 00:15:43,996 - I'm not here. - Okay, you're not here. I'm so sorry. 396 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:46,331 I'm talking to myself. Where are you, peeler? 397 00:15:46,399 --> 00:15:47,800 Okay, I got it. 398 00:15:47,834 --> 00:15:50,336 It was in with the napkins inexplicably. 399 00:15:50,370 --> 00:15:52,171 Here you go. Use that for the carrots. 400 00:15:52,205 --> 00:15:54,674 Actually, I'm all done. I'm good. 401 00:15:54,708 --> 00:15:57,443 - Okay. - Tell me, don't you normally have staff 402 00:15:57,477 --> 00:16:00,346 - to cater for you? - Yeah, definitely. 403 00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:02,982 Well, sure, but I just love banging the pots around. 404 00:16:03,016 --> 00:16:05,851 And I think you would say that I'm a foodie. 405 00:16:05,886 --> 00:16:07,887 So, just to flag with you, 406 00:16:07,921 --> 00:16:10,022 Andrew's obviously off the table. 407 00:16:10,057 --> 00:16:13,692 Well, technically he's very much at the table currently. 408 00:16:13,727 --> 00:16:14,793 Janet: What's on the menu? 409 00:16:14,828 --> 00:16:16,628 Herb roasted chicken 410 00:16:16,663 --> 00:16:19,264 and some arugula salad. 411 00:16:19,299 --> 00:16:21,567 Janet: Catherine, do you enjoy your folks' cooking? 412 00:16:21,601 --> 00:16:24,770 Yeah, I love the way that they cook the vegetables. 413 00:16:24,805 --> 00:16:26,839 The vegetables are always my favorite. 414 00:16:26,873 --> 00:16:29,708 I just love vegetables so much. 415 00:16:29,743 --> 00:16:31,377 Are you working for the vegetable lobby? 416 00:16:31,411 --> 00:16:33,045 - ( all laugh ) - I'll be right back. 417 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,960 - I just have to grab something. - Okay, darling. 418 00:16:34,981 --> 00:16:36,749 Selina: Please, can you use the peeler? 419 00:16:36,783 --> 00:16:38,584 - I'm all done with the carrots. - Oh, my God. 420 00:16:38,585 --> 00:16:40,319 - No, you're not. - That's all the carrots we're gonna use. 421 00:16:40,354 --> 00:16:42,488 I realize there are more carrots. 422 00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:44,557 We don't need any more. 423 00:16:44,591 --> 00:16:47,593 ( stammering ) The Get Moving campaign, 424 00:16:47,628 --> 00:16:50,028 - which as you know I spearheaded. - Yes. 425 00:16:50,063 --> 00:16:52,631 As I launched that campaign, I discovered 426 00:16:52,665 --> 00:16:54,833 a local organic butcher. 427 00:16:54,867 --> 00:16:58,036 And... 428 00:16:58,070 --> 00:16:59,937 he does a lot of... 429 00:16:59,972 --> 00:17:02,840 grass-fed... 430 00:17:02,908 --> 00:17:04,642 Grass-fed cattle 431 00:17:04,676 --> 00:17:07,078 - and free-range chickens. - Yeah. Yeah. 432 00:17:07,112 --> 00:17:10,381 Janet: What's your favorite meal that you can't wait to have? 433 00:17:10,415 --> 00:17:14,986 I really-- I love the roasted brussels sprouts 434 00:17:15,021 --> 00:17:18,257 that my mom and dad make. 435 00:17:19,793 --> 00:17:21,060 Yep. 436 00:17:21,095 --> 00:17:23,930 Selina: Okay, well, they're taking a break, 437 00:17:23,965 --> 00:17:27,234 so this gives us a chance to come in here, have a little chat. 438 00:17:27,268 --> 00:17:29,402 You never told me that you were a vegetarian. 439 00:17:29,437 --> 00:17:31,757 - I told you three months ago. - No, you didn't, Catherine. 440 00:17:31,772 --> 00:17:33,574 - What? - Now that she mentions it, 441 00:17:33,608 --> 00:17:36,210 - I think it does sound familiar. - Completely useless. 442 00:17:36,244 --> 00:17:38,378 You know what? Just because he's a liability 443 00:17:38,412 --> 00:17:40,172 doesn't mean you have to be a liability, too. 444 00:17:40,181 --> 00:17:41,981 Now I'm gonna tell you something. You're eating that chicken. 445 00:17:42,016 --> 00:17:43,883 I am not gonna do it. I'm a vegetarian, Mom. 446 00:17:43,917 --> 00:17:46,285 You swallowed chicken your entire life. 447 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,121 You're gonna do it again today. 448 00:17:48,155 --> 00:17:50,423 I swallowed your bullshit my entire life. 449 00:17:50,457 --> 00:17:52,625 Okay, look, little lady, we don't talk to your mother like that. 450 00:17:52,660 --> 00:17:54,127 All right, I'm just-- God damn it. 451 00:17:54,161 --> 00:17:56,663 - Could you-- - Amy: Yes, yes, yes. 452 00:17:56,697 --> 00:17:59,699 You know when you're 12 and you just get rid of it? 453 00:17:59,733 --> 00:18:01,434 No. Speak for yourself. 454 00:18:01,469 --> 00:18:03,103 It's gonna look really bad for your mom 455 00:18:03,137 --> 00:18:05,372 if she doesn't know that you're a vegetarian on TV. 456 00:18:05,406 --> 00:18:08,508 I'm not gonna sacrifice my morals for her career anymore. 457 00:18:08,542 --> 00:18:11,511 I've done that. It's not that bad. 458 00:18:11,546 --> 00:18:14,615 Well, doesn't that chicken look just amazing, Catherine? 459 00:18:14,649 --> 00:18:16,717 - It looks delicious. - Yeah. 460 00:18:16,751 --> 00:18:18,485 I love it when Dad cooks. 461 00:18:18,519 --> 00:18:21,121 - Janet: A man of hidden talents. - I don't like to brag. 462 00:18:21,155 --> 00:18:22,722 Not about cooking, anyway. 463 00:18:22,756 --> 00:18:24,491 Okay, babe, here you go. 464 00:18:24,525 --> 00:18:25,758 - Wow. - Eat that up. 465 00:18:25,793 --> 00:18:27,260 I just need to reiterate with you. 466 00:18:27,294 --> 00:18:29,395 We have agreed on all of these topics. 467 00:18:29,430 --> 00:18:31,664 And the Andrew e-mail story was not agreed. 468 00:18:31,699 --> 00:18:33,032 Sweetheart, it's news. 469 00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:36,236 Okay? It happened today. It's new with an S on it. 470 00:18:36,270 --> 00:18:38,037 That's just what news is. 471 00:18:38,072 --> 00:18:39,839 With all due respect, this is not news. 472 00:18:39,907 --> 00:18:41,608 This is the fucking Food Channel you got here. 473 00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:44,043 Okay, well, with all due respect, fuck you. 474 00:18:44,077 --> 00:18:46,779 I own the edit on your shit-show politician 475 00:18:46,814 --> 00:18:50,150 that you connected yourself to, not me, you little gremlin. 476 00:18:50,184 --> 00:18:52,652 Janet: And has it been a happy divorce for you, Catherine? 477 00:18:52,686 --> 00:18:54,787 Mmm, yeah. 478 00:18:54,822 --> 00:18:56,523 I think knowing that my mom 479 00:18:56,557 --> 00:18:58,758 had to be available 24 hours a day 480 00:18:58,793 --> 00:19:01,261 really taught me not to be too demanding as a child. 481 00:19:01,296 --> 00:19:02,863 Selina: That's true. 482 00:19:02,898 --> 00:19:05,033 So you don't feel parentally shortchanged, then, 483 00:19:05,067 --> 00:19:07,135 - do you, Catherine? - No. 484 00:19:07,169 --> 00:19:08,804 I'm actually a big music fan, 485 00:19:08,838 --> 00:19:11,707 so I usually try to explain my parents in terms of music. 486 00:19:11,741 --> 00:19:13,909 You know, musicians sometimes are better in bands 487 00:19:13,943 --> 00:19:16,512 - or sometimes better solo. - That's interesting. 488 00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:18,848 They're like the Beatles, you know, better as a band 489 00:19:18,882 --> 00:19:21,718 or Michael Jackson, better solo. 490 00:19:21,752 --> 00:19:25,188 Although not a great parent, admittedly. 491 00:19:25,222 --> 00:19:28,191 Well, actually, he did okay with his own kids. 492 00:19:28,225 --> 00:19:31,027 It's when other kids got involved that it got real dicey. 493 00:19:31,062 --> 00:19:33,830 But, no, then he did dangle that one from a great height. 494 00:19:33,865 --> 00:19:35,866 Right? Over that railing? 495 00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:37,067 Ahem. 496 00:19:37,101 --> 00:19:38,835 You know, you cross me on this 497 00:19:38,870 --> 00:19:41,705 and you're never, ever gonna get the veep on camera again. 498 00:19:41,740 --> 00:19:44,274 Why the fuck-- why are you still talking to me, huh? 499 00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:47,189 If you'd just let someone get close enough to fuck some sunshine into you, 500 00:19:47,212 --> 00:19:48,546 you'd shut your mouth! 501 00:19:48,580 --> 00:19:50,180 - You-- you-- - Okay, okay. 502 00:19:50,215 --> 00:19:51,749 You do not know anything about me. 503 00:19:51,783 --> 00:19:53,550 You think that this is easy, what I do? 504 00:19:53,585 --> 00:19:56,787 Yeah, having 10,000 interests screaming in your fucking face 505 00:19:56,822 --> 00:20:00,023 the way that I am screaming in your face right now all day, every day? 506 00:20:00,058 --> 00:20:02,359 - I am fucking good at this. - Can we just put a filter-- 507 00:20:02,393 --> 00:20:03,994 - Are you? This is good? - Fuck your face, Gary. 508 00:20:04,028 --> 00:20:06,630 - She's good at this, you guys. Sorry. - Fuck my face. You hear that? 509 00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:08,866 Antique windows. Bring it down. 510 00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:10,868 - What the fuck just happened? - Antique windows. Bring it down. 511 00:20:10,902 --> 00:20:13,337 Amy, let's go find your dignity over here, okay? 512 00:20:13,372 --> 00:20:15,640 Get her out of here. Fucking amateur. 513 00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:17,475 - All right. All right. - Hey, no, no, no, no. 514 00:20:17,509 --> 00:20:19,844 - No, seriously-- - No. Whoa, okay. 515 00:20:19,878 --> 00:20:23,314 Okay, listen, you need to calm down. 516 00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:25,750 At least I am giving a shit. You are flatlining all day. 517 00:20:25,784 --> 00:20:29,120 Okay, okay. But has she been impressive at all today? 518 00:20:29,154 --> 00:20:31,055 Look, I've graphed her performance, okay? 519 00:20:31,090 --> 00:20:32,690 Look at this. Look at this nice little graphic. 520 00:20:32,725 --> 00:20:35,493 Here's time, here's her fucking career. ( whistles ) 521 00:20:35,528 --> 00:20:37,161 Now maybe there should be a little uptick 522 00:20:37,196 --> 00:20:39,756 because she didn't barf her food all over the table, I don't know. 523 00:20:39,765 --> 00:20:42,167 So if she doesn't turn this fucking shit-show around, guess what, 524 00:20:42,201 --> 00:20:44,069 I don't know which way I'm gonna bounce. 525 00:20:44,103 --> 00:20:47,439 Amy, when my memaw used to find herself getting snappy, 526 00:20:47,473 --> 00:20:49,274 she would sing her favorite song. 527 00:20:49,308 --> 00:20:52,177 ♪ Oh, I wish I were in the land of cotton ♪ 528 00:20:52,211 --> 00:20:54,379 ♪ Old times there were not forgotten ♪ 529 00:20:54,414 --> 00:20:56,882 ♪ Look away, look away ♪ 530 00:20:56,916 --> 00:20:58,985 - ♪ Look away, Dixieland. ♪ - No, guys, please. 531 00:20:59,019 --> 00:21:00,786 Favorite family vacation? 532 00:21:00,821 --> 00:21:02,588 - White water rafting. - Italy. 533 00:21:02,622 --> 00:21:05,090 - Disneyland. - Which is it? 534 00:21:05,125 --> 00:21:07,660 No, honey, we didn't ever go to Disneyland. 535 00:21:07,728 --> 00:21:10,730 Oh, no, you didn't take me. Rosa took me with her family. 536 00:21:10,764 --> 00:21:12,431 Who's Rosa? 537 00:21:12,466 --> 00:21:13,866 - She was a... - She was... 538 00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:15,601 - housekeeper. - Housekeeper, that's right. 539 00:21:15,635 --> 00:21:17,436 You spent a lot of time with your housekeeper? 540 00:21:17,504 --> 00:21:18,938 Yeah, she was like a-- 541 00:21:18,972 --> 00:21:21,273 - We did go to India. - Mmm. 542 00:21:21,374 --> 00:21:22,874 - India was awful. - Hmm? 543 00:21:22,909 --> 00:21:24,909 I don't know why you didn't give me this earlier. 544 00:21:24,944 --> 00:21:27,646 I didn't want to give it to you before your interview. 545 00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:29,714 - God, you don't want any water? - No, I've gotten good at it. 546 00:21:29,749 --> 00:21:32,150 Look at this. I was supposed to be stressing my successes. 547 00:21:32,184 --> 00:21:34,886 Instead I'm sitting there stuffing my face with chicken. 548 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,589 Great stuff in there, guys. Good stuff. Thumbs up. 549 00:21:37,657 --> 00:21:39,057 Andrew looks great on camera. 550 00:21:39,092 --> 00:21:40,292 - Get off my stairs, Jonah. - Oh, yes, ma'am. 551 00:21:40,326 --> 00:21:41,560 - Ma'am. - What? 552 00:21:41,594 --> 00:21:43,229 I need to give you some straight talk right now, okay? 553 00:21:43,263 --> 00:21:45,898 All of your worst fears about how this day could have possibly gone... 554 00:21:45,932 --> 00:21:47,566 - Yeah? - ...have come true. 555 00:21:47,601 --> 00:21:49,368 - Oh, my gosh. - No, no, up here. Look at me. 556 00:21:49,403 --> 00:21:50,870 - You want to own this interview? - Yeah. 557 00:21:50,938 --> 00:21:52,571 - Say it. - I want to own it. 558 00:21:52,606 --> 00:21:54,206 Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna do something big. 559 00:21:54,241 --> 00:21:55,641 You're gonna do something bold. 560 00:21:55,675 --> 00:21:57,743 And you're gonna do it in the next five minutes. 561 00:21:57,778 --> 00:21:59,145 How about this? How about I lift up my dress, 562 00:21:59,179 --> 00:22:00,847 give everyone a big fat shot of my cooch? 563 00:22:00,881 --> 00:22:03,116 - Jesus Christ. - Everything okay up there? 564 00:22:03,150 --> 00:22:05,952 - You need more pep talk? - No, let's do it. 565 00:22:05,986 --> 00:22:07,620 - Did he just hear that? - Nope. 566 00:22:07,654 --> 00:22:09,588 Use the Force, ma'am. 567 00:22:09,656 --> 00:22:11,490 I don't even know what that means. 568 00:22:11,558 --> 00:22:12,557 Big and bold. What do you mean? 569 00:22:12,592 --> 00:22:13,992 Like a medley from "Okla"-fucking-"homa"? 570 00:22:14,027 --> 00:22:15,327 Look, I tried to wake her up, okay? 571 00:22:15,361 --> 00:22:17,629 I have no choice but to be the fucking curveball. 572 00:22:19,866 --> 00:22:22,267 - Andrew: Ahem. - Fantastic. Okay. 573 00:22:23,703 --> 00:22:26,738 Cody: Let's roll cameras. Sound. 574 00:22:28,006 --> 00:22:31,042 Janet: So, what a lovely afternoon 575 00:22:31,077 --> 00:22:33,578 I have gotten to spend with the Second Family. 576 00:22:33,612 --> 00:22:34,879 How about that? Yeah. 577 00:22:34,913 --> 00:22:36,414 And, Catherine, would you vote 578 00:22:36,482 --> 00:22:38,950 for your parents to get back together again? 579 00:22:38,984 --> 00:22:40,652 No, no, no. This way, I get a Christmas 580 00:22:40,686 --> 00:22:42,655 and a birthday present off of each of them. 581 00:22:42,722 --> 00:22:44,023 ( laughs ) 582 00:22:44,057 --> 00:22:45,925 Catherine, how does all this affect 583 00:22:45,992 --> 00:22:47,993 how you approach relationships? 584 00:22:48,028 --> 00:22:51,196 Not terribly much. I'm in a very different phase of my life. 585 00:22:51,231 --> 00:22:53,365 You know, my boyfriend and I are very young 586 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,667 and not really talking about marriage. 587 00:22:55,702 --> 00:22:57,836 And this would be Rahim? 588 00:22:59,606 --> 00:23:00,906 Yes. 589 00:23:00,940 --> 00:23:03,541 Janet: That is an interesting name. 590 00:23:03,576 --> 00:23:05,777 - Is that Indian? - It's Iranian. 591 00:23:05,811 --> 00:23:10,482 - Iranian? - It's second generation American Persian. 592 00:23:10,516 --> 00:23:12,384 Calling Tel Aviv now. 593 00:23:12,418 --> 00:23:15,186 And has he been welcomed into your home? 594 00:23:15,221 --> 00:23:16,621 No. 595 00:23:16,655 --> 00:23:19,391 Only because it's just-- it's a casual thing 596 00:23:19,425 --> 00:23:21,493 and it's actually ended. 597 00:23:21,528 --> 00:23:23,162 Really? I'm sorry to hear that, honey. 598 00:23:23,229 --> 00:23:24,863 Catherine: That's okay. 599 00:23:24,898 --> 00:23:26,799 Speaking of relationships-- 600 00:23:26,833 --> 00:23:28,934 Andrew, I'm sorry, I simply have to ask you 601 00:23:29,035 --> 00:23:31,103 about your relationship with lobbyist Jim Melita 602 00:23:31,137 --> 00:23:35,141 and the implication that you offered access to the vice president. 603 00:23:35,175 --> 00:23:37,710 Yeah, um, it's-- 604 00:23:37,744 --> 00:23:41,347 um, in a word-- 605 00:23:43,417 --> 00:23:45,551 come on. 606 00:23:45,585 --> 00:23:47,986 Perhaps it's possible 607 00:23:48,021 --> 00:23:51,757 that I have overplayed my hand. 608 00:23:51,792 --> 00:23:53,793 Selina: Well, I think it's safe to say 609 00:23:53,827 --> 00:23:56,662 that Andrew overreached 610 00:23:56,697 --> 00:23:59,466 and just said something silly. Yeah. 611 00:23:59,500 --> 00:24:01,902 I suppose that the vice president 612 00:24:01,936 --> 00:24:04,271 would also agree that 613 00:24:04,305 --> 00:24:06,406 when she said she was in the loop 614 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,475 over national security, 615 00:24:08,509 --> 00:24:11,344 that also may have been an bit of an exaggeration. 616 00:24:13,014 --> 00:24:16,716 I'm actually not sure that those two situations are comparable. 617 00:24:16,751 --> 00:24:18,218 I believe that they are. 618 00:24:18,286 --> 00:24:21,087 And insomuch as you refuse to comment 619 00:24:21,122 --> 00:24:23,890 on the spy allegations or the hostage situation 620 00:24:23,925 --> 00:24:25,759 until the investigation is complete, 621 00:24:25,826 --> 00:24:27,827 I, too, would like to refrain 622 00:24:27,862 --> 00:24:30,463 until I find out just exactly what it is 623 00:24:30,497 --> 00:24:33,132 I'm accused of having said or not said. 624 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,402 You do understand that sounds like you're playing for time 625 00:24:36,436 --> 00:24:39,605 and actually are hiding something? 626 00:24:42,075 --> 00:24:43,916 I'm sorry, was that a question for me or Selina? 627 00:24:43,943 --> 00:24:46,111 I think that question is for me. 628 00:24:47,780 --> 00:24:50,182 I want to talk about the spy. 629 00:24:50,216 --> 00:24:51,984 The CIA operative. 630 00:24:52,019 --> 00:24:54,220 - Mike: No, no. - Dan: Yeah, yeah. 631 00:24:54,254 --> 00:24:58,224 There was a miscommunication for which I want to apologize 632 00:24:58,259 --> 00:25:00,193 on behalf of the administration. 633 00:25:00,228 --> 00:25:03,997 You know, the intention was never to mislead 634 00:25:04,032 --> 00:25:06,700 the American people, but that was its effect. 635 00:25:06,734 --> 00:25:10,436 - Shit. - And for that, I really am truly sorry. 636 00:25:10,471 --> 00:25:12,906 But I am saying that I had full knowledge 637 00:25:12,940 --> 00:25:14,774 of the spy's status. 638 00:25:14,842 --> 00:25:16,843 - But she didn't. - I know. 639 00:25:16,877 --> 00:25:19,312 Madam Vice President, this is quite an admission. 640 00:25:19,347 --> 00:25:23,050 Mm-hmm. I have taken on a role now, 641 00:25:23,084 --> 00:25:25,686 an important role in national security 642 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:29,189 and I take great pride in that responsibility. 643 00:25:29,224 --> 00:25:32,359 Now, sometimes you have to act. 644 00:25:32,427 --> 00:25:34,294 Always you have to listen. 645 00:25:34,329 --> 00:25:37,965 Because in politics, 646 00:25:37,999 --> 00:25:41,769 a backbone and a heart 647 00:25:41,803 --> 00:25:44,271 are only as good 648 00:25:44,305 --> 00:25:45,773 as your ears. 649 00:25:48,510 --> 00:25:51,645 And my ears are my livelihood. 650 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:53,914 Cody: Okay, that's our segment, guys. 651 00:25:53,948 --> 00:25:56,049 - ( applause ) - Man: That's it. Great. Good. 652 00:25:56,083 --> 00:25:57,417 That's good. 653 00:25:57,451 --> 00:26:00,953 Madam Vice President, that was an amazing interview. 654 00:26:00,987 --> 00:26:02,421 Well, thank you very much. 655 00:26:02,455 --> 00:26:03,856 You're gonna take the spotlight back 656 00:26:03,890 --> 00:26:05,810 from the end of the shutdown, I'll tell you that. 657 00:26:05,825 --> 00:26:07,326 - We'll see. - Best of luck, Andrew. 658 00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:09,762 - Good to meet you. - Good luck with all the... 659 00:26:09,796 --> 00:26:11,697 Andrew: Way to go, Team Meyer. 660 00:26:11,732 --> 00:26:13,867 How about it? Right? 661 00:26:13,901 --> 00:26:15,569 - Congratulations. - Honestly, that was-- 662 00:26:15,603 --> 00:26:17,037 that was something else, Mom. 663 00:26:17,071 --> 00:26:19,206 I'm really sorry that I brought up Rahim. 664 00:26:19,241 --> 00:26:20,875 I know you didn't want me to do that. 665 00:26:20,909 --> 00:26:22,844 You know what? I'm sorry you had to dump him on the air. 666 00:26:22,878 --> 00:26:25,380 Notes about the interview. Just want to help you keep an eye out for those. 667 00:26:25,414 --> 00:26:27,282 - Get out of here. - How are you doing? 668 00:26:27,316 --> 00:26:29,951 I spewed out so much bullshit, I'm gonna need a mint. 669 00:26:29,986 --> 00:26:31,720 - A fucking mint. - Do you want a mint? 670 00:26:31,754 --> 00:26:33,322 - I'll get you a mint. - No, I don't mean it. 671 00:26:33,356 --> 00:26:36,425 I'm just gonna head back if anybody needs me-- West Wing. 672 00:26:36,459 --> 00:26:39,327 - No one does, Jonah. - No one needs you, Jonah. 673 00:26:39,362 --> 00:26:41,596 - Selina: Amy. - Yes, ma'am? 674 00:26:41,631 --> 00:26:43,665 - Did Andrew leave? - He's gone. 675 00:26:43,699 --> 00:26:45,367 Can you see if he's still out there? 676 00:26:45,401 --> 00:26:47,903 - He just left a jacket. - Oh, your jacket is up here. 677 00:26:47,937 --> 00:26:50,705 - His jacket. - I'll wait here? 678 00:26:50,740 --> 00:26:53,241 - Ma'am, do you need-- - No, it's fine. 679 00:26:53,276 --> 00:26:55,910 I know where his stuff is. 680 00:26:55,945 --> 00:26:57,746 Are they gonna... 681 00:26:57,780 --> 00:26:59,814 it's like a victory fuck? 682 00:26:59,849 --> 00:27:01,383 He better come down. 683 00:27:01,417 --> 00:27:04,520 Is he coming back down? Do we need to wait for him? 684 00:27:04,554 --> 00:27:06,088 - Selina: We got it. - Andrew: We're good. 685 00:27:06,122 --> 00:27:08,322 Okay. 686 00:27:08,357 --> 00:27:11,759 - Where are my parents? - Um... 687 00:27:11,793 --> 00:27:13,494 Did my dad leave? 688 00:27:13,529 --> 00:27:15,830 They're having-- they're having a talk. 689 00:27:15,864 --> 00:27:18,732 - They're having a talk upstairs. - A talk upstairs? 690 00:27:18,767 --> 00:27:21,168 - They might be getting you something. - Oh, Jesus Christ. 691 00:27:21,288 --> 00:27:26,368 Sync and corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com