1
00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:15,816
Are we rolling?

2
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:16,650
No.

3
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:17,818
We're almost ready.

4
00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:18,886
Roll
the cameras already.

5
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:21,055
This is live television.

6
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,490
Rolling.

7
00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:24,258
This is
Tromaville Student Television,

8
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,060
reporting live on location.

9
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,028
A giant squirrel is attacking
the nuclear power plant

10
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:30,398
at the Tromaville
Institute of Technology.

11
00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:32,032
The military and
the National Guard

12
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:34,335
have been completely useless
against the rampaging

13
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,370
rodent's destructive force.

14
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,708
Nuclear disaster has
struck again on the site

15
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:43,244
where Tromaville high school was
blown off the face of the Earth

16
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:45,012
just the few short years ago.

17
00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:47,581
It is the most horrible
thing I've ever witnessed.

18
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:50,518
The school, the campus,
the nuclear power

19
00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:53,053
plant... it's all gone.

20
00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:54,988
All that we hold dear.

21
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,791
The video game room
has been destroyed.

22
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,160
Oh, the horror!

23
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:00,761
Oh, the humanity!

24
00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:02,330
I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen.

25
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:08,402
I can't go on.

26
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:09,036
I...

27
00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:10,804
Oh, God.

28
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,373
I'm melting!

29
00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:13,374
I'm melting!

30
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:17,111
He's a subhumanoid.

31
00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:18,146
He's melting down.

32
00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:19,680
I'm melting down.

33
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:21,081
Help!

34
00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:24,051
I'm melting.

35
00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:25,419
Oh, what a world.

36
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:26,420
Forget him.

37
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,556
We've gotta report the news.

38
00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:29,890
OK, ready?

39
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:33,127
Still rolling!

40
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,229
ANGEL FINKLESTEINGet
that dog outta here!

41
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:38,098
This is Angel Finklestein,
reporting to you live

42
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:40,568
from the Tromaville
Institute of Technology,

43
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:42,736
where a giant,
mutated squirrel is

44
00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:46,874
about to destroy the
Tromaville Nuclear Powerplant.

45
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:49,310
Oh my,
I'm melted down.

46
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,612
You may
recall the same nuclear power

47
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:54,982
plant was destroyed once
before in the 1984 Troma

48
00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:57,351
movie, Class of Nuke 'Em High.

49
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,387
That was one of my
favorite Troma movies,

50
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:01,522
lots of melon-heavy breath.

51
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:04,325
It was then rebuilt by
the Nukemama Corporation

52
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:08,362
as part of the new Tromaville
Institute of Technology campus

53
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,998
in the movie
Subhumanoid Meltdown:

54
00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:14,134
Class of Nuke 'Em High Part II.

55
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:15,068
Hey, Angel.

56
00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:16,737
I like your style.

57
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,639
Have you ever had a
night of wild passion

58
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,574
with a gob of green goo?

59
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:22,676
What do you say?

60
00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:25,012
After the broadcast, me
and you get together?

61
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:26,680
I'll take that as a no.

62
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:29,283
As you can see, the
giant mutated squirrel

63
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:32,152
is not the only problem
plaguing campus today.

64
00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:34,255
Apparently, an evil
experiment gone bad

65
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:38,025
is causing a secret race
of subhumanoid students

66
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:40,194
to melt down into
gobs of green...

67
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:51,572
This is Susie Schwartz,
reporting live, filling in

68
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:55,008
for Angel Finklestein,
dead, reporting to you

69
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,278
on the campus of
Tromaville Tech.

70
00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:58,779
Oh, my God.

71
00:02:58,879 --> 00:02:59,847
This is awful.

72
00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,181
Read it out
loud, you bimbo.

73
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:03,617
This just in... a
military helicopter

74
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:06,387
has been dispatched from the
Tromaville Air Force Base

75
00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:08,589
to meet this mother
of all squirrels.

76
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,724
And it's on it's
way here right now.

77
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:13,361
The copter is carrying a
radioactive, rodent-seeking

78
00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:15,829
patriot missile, which
has been disguised

79
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:18,031
to look like a giant acorn.

80
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,973
Base to Tromaville
One, watch yourself.

81
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,708
He looks like my mother-in-law.

82
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:30,143
Tromaville One to
Base, it's much worse

83
00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:31,379
than we ever expected.

84
00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:34,315
He... he's doing the frug.

85
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:35,883
Oh, no, he's also
got good rhythm.

86
00:03:37,385 --> 00:03:38,752
For once, the military's
plan seems to be working.

87
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,789
The giant squirrel is
following the acorn.

88
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,090
Tromaville One to Base.

89
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,525
I've got the decoy in place.

90
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:46,427
He's just about to grab it.

91
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,262
By the way,
Tromaville One, you're

92
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:50,531
going to be a national
military hero the minute

93
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,366
he grabs that patriot missile.

94
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:53,434
What patriot missile?

95
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:25,299
That's me, Adlai Smith.

96
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:28,536
I am a third-generation
subhumanoid.

97
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:31,405
I am the only honor student
to be created from the mating

98
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:34,041
of a human and a subhumanoid.

99
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,944
And soon I'll be two years old.

100
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:40,080
You're probably asking yourself
how I, in only two years,

101
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,649
can be full grown.

102
00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:44,485
Well, I'm the offspring
of a human father

103
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,420
and a subhumanoid mother.

104
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,589
And one thing about
subhumanoids is

105
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:51,291
that we grow from infancy
to post adolescence

106
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:53,894
in little more than 18 months.

107
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,430
And we do a lot of push ups.

108
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:59,533
Like everyone else, my
story, and my problems,

109
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:03,871
started with my
father, one Roger Smith

110
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,873
who looks exactly like me.

111
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,409
My father was a typical
student at the Tromaville

112
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,978
Institute of Technology
way back before I

113
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:13,113
was born, two years ago.

114
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:15,883
Dad loved Tromaville Tech,
which had been constructed

115
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,952
by the Nukemama Corporation
inside of the Tromaville

116
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,721
nuclear power plant.

117
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,523
My father was one
of the greatest

118
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:25,926
student reporters in the history
of the Tromaville Tech Times.

119
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,495
Brilliant.

120
00:05:27,595 --> 00:05:28,729
While
doing a routine news story,

121
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,931
he stumbled onto a
nefarious conspiracy

122
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:34,868
to create a mindless subservient
race of second-class citizens

123
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,970
called subhumanoids.

124
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:40,173
This biogenetic obscenity
was the horrendous plot

125
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:42,175
of the Nukemama Corporation.

126
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,445
It was also the
horrendous plot of Class

127
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:47,147
Part II.

128
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,817
The subhumanoids were
genetically designed and bred

129
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:52,119
to perform human beings'
unpleasant chores

130
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:55,589
and undesirable functions, such
as fighting wars in miserable

131
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,725
third world countries,
and cleaning

132
00:05:57,825 --> 00:06:01,695
offices, and disposing of
unrecyclable non-deposit glass

133
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:02,630
bottles.

134
00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:04,698
More important,
these subhumanoids

135
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,567
worked for peanuts,
and therefore

136
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:09,903
brought the Nukemama
Corporation gross revenues,

137
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,505
which were huge.

138
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:14,241
The obvious difference between
humans and subhumanoids

139
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:18,812
was the extra set of lips where
their belly buttons should be.

140
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:22,115
One of these subhumanoids
was my mother.

141
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,422
Subhumanoids were
unable to produce

142
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:31,525
their own offspring by
mating with each other,

143
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,761
although they enjoyed trying.

144
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:36,129
In order to have a
baby, a subhumanoid

145
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,831
had to mate with a human.

146
00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:40,534
So the Nukemama
Corporation, in its greed

147
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,970
to create more and more
subhumanoid babies,

148
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,673
manipulated the good
students of Tromaville Tech

149
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:48,375
into fornicating with
the subhumanoids.

150
00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:50,611
And that's how my
mom and dad met.

151
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:53,547
My mother and father, in
spite of being victims

152
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:57,284
of an evil, cynical, and obscene
money-grubbing experiment,

153
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,853
fell head over heels in love.

154
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:04,291
While dad was getting used
to mom's subhumanoid lips,

155
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:07,427
problems were developing with
the Nukemama Corporation's

156
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,129
subhumanoid baby program.

157
00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:17,671
Everything seemed
like a piece of cake,

158
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,207
but it was really a mess.

159
00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:23,511
It was soon revealed that the
subhumanoids were unstable.

160
00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:25,746
And after six months,
they began melting down

161
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:30,718
into disgusting gobs
of green goo, which

162
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:35,489
were gross, but kind of cute and
would make great toys for kids.

163
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,958
And adults liked them too.

164
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,594
The creator of the
subhumanoids was the brilliant,

165
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,996
but misguided
Professor Melvina Holt.

166
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,599
And she desperately tried
to develop an antidote

167
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,100
to the meltdown syndrome.

168
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,403
Unfortunately, because of
negligence in disposing

169
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:53,173
of the hideously-toxic
meltdown byproduct,

170
00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:55,809
one of the good squirrels
of Tromaville mutated

171
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:59,279
into a giant, disgusting,
belching, farting, urinating,

172
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:03,316
monster squirrel, which began
destroying the Tromaville

173
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:07,020
Institute of Technology and its
state-of-the-art student-run

174
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,889
nuclear power facility.

175
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,525
Unfortunately, the
mutant monster squirrel

176
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,493
annihilated a lot
of Tromavillians,

177
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:15,663
including many of the
principal actors in Class

178
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:17,665
Part II.

179
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:20,333
Fortunately, those
annihilated included

180
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:23,837
the sadistic gang leader, Yolk.

181
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:26,740
Unfortunately, Yolk's
more handsome, but less

182
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,210
intellectually brilliant younger
sibling, Little Egg White,

183
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,580
survived to take over the gang.

184
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,882
Fortunately, it turned
out Professor Holt

185
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:37,885
did indeed create an antidote
to the subhumanoid meltdown

186
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,119
syndrome.

187
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,722
Unfortunately, the miscreant
mutant squirrel thought

188
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,625
Professor Holt was his mommy.

189
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:45,993
Mommy, Mommy.

190
00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:48,195
I'm
not your mother!

191
00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:49,797
You're not?

192
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:50,798
Oh.

193
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:53,667
Fortunately, my father

194
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,636
got the antidote
from Professor Holt

195
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:59,472
and was able to give
it to my mother.

196
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:02,876
What my parents didn't know was
that they weren't the only ones

197
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,845
to survive the destruction.

198
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:08,415
Miraculously, Professor Holt
crawled through the rubble,

199
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:10,450
back to the
subterranean chambers

200
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,786
beneath the main
nuclear reactor core,

201
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:15,455
where her beloved subhumanoid
birthing laboratories

202
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,392
would hold whatever remained
of her top secret experiments.

203
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:23,063
Unfortunately, her unethical
sellout to corporate greed

204
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,565
had subjected her body
to low level symptoms

205
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,500
of the meltdown syndrome.

206
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,670
Fortunately, at least
her beehive hairdo

207
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,272
remained intact, since
her hairspray contained

208
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:34,642
beeswax from plenty of bees.

209
00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:38,612
Unfortunately, they were
PCBs, and the incredible heat

210
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:41,048
produced by her meltdown
syndrome symptoms

211
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:43,450
resulted in
spontaneous combustion.

212
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:54,327
At least
I still have my hair.

213
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:56,296
My hair!

214
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:01,268
Where... where'd it go?

215
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:02,235
Where is it?

216
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:05,639
My hair.

217
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:08,341
Oh, my precious hair.

218
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,609
Where is it?

219
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,178
Well, well, if it isn't

220
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,412
the lovely Professor Holt.

221
00:10:12,512 --> 00:10:13,580
It
was so beautiful.

222
00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:14,581
I see you got a haircut.

223
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:17,584
Hey, Professor.

224
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:19,052
You're real ugly now.

225
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:26,727
Why, I oughtta...

226
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,501
While Professor

227
00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,704
Holt and Little Egg
White got reacquainted,

228
00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:38,238
so did my mom and dad.

229
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,811
After Tromaville was
leveled, and the raging fires

230
00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:47,280
were put out, my mother and
father did what came naturally.

231
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:50,583
They fucked their brains
out, and I was conceived.

232
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,686
Meanwhile, the Nukemama
corporate powers

233
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,354
did what came naturally.

234
00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:56,556
They conceived a new plan.

235
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,526
The sadistic genius,
Dr. Slag, PhD.,

236
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:01,261
was sent to rebuild the
Tromaville Institute

237
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:04,231
of Technology and nuclear
power plant as a cover

238
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:05,465
for the heinous mission.

239
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:07,134
So while my father's
good and true seed

240
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,737
was nurtured in my
mother's subhumanoid belly,

241
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:12,605
the evil seed of
Dr. Slag, PhD's plan

242
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:15,608
was planted deep
beneath Tromaville.

243
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:17,878
Dr. Slag, PhD.

244
00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:20,447
What are you doing here?

245
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,449
Professor Holt.

246
00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:30,824
The Nukemama Corporation sent me
down here to clean up the mess

247
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:33,293
that you made of our plans.

248
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:37,831
Now I must brief all of
you about our new mission.

249
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:39,566
New mission?

250
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,634
That's right, new mission.

251
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:44,104
On behalf of the
Nukemama Corporation,

252
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:48,008
we must use Professor
Holt's subhumanoids

253
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:52,679
to achieve the ultimate and
unspeakable wealth and power.

254
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,347
Our new research shows
that the mating of humans

255
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:57,317
and subhumanoids produces
offspring which are much more

256
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:58,919
than just mindless laborers.

257
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,688
The chemistry of these babies is
also a source of cheap energy.

258
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:06,059
Holt's subhumanoids
hold the key.

259
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:09,662
But Dr. Slag, PhD.,
all the subhumanoids

260
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:12,632
melted down Class of
Nuke 'Em High Part II

261
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,568
and in the beginning
of this movie.

262
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:18,005
All but one, Dr. Slag, PhD.

263
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:21,308
They all melted down but one.

264
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,076
Victoria lives.

265
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,012
I gave her boyfriend,
Roger Smith,

266
00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:26,546
the antidote to the
meltdown syndrome.

267
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:29,049
So I'm sure that she lives.

268
00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:35,789
It is she who holds your
precious key, Dr. Slag, PhD.

269
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:40,293
It's good you still have
a sense of humor, Holt,

270
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:43,330
because you're going to need
it when we hunt this girl down

271
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:46,800
and watch her and wait for her
to become heavy with child.

272
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:48,936
For when that baby comes
out of that second set

273
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:51,471
of subhumanoid lips
in his mother's belly,

274
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:54,474
that baby will be the
ultimate power source, which

275
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:57,845
will further enrich the
few of us who hold shares

276
00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,847
in the Nukemama Corporation.

277
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,850
This power source
is unlike any other.

278
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:07,287
More powerful than nuclear
fission, coal, or oil.

279
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:10,958
You see, squirrels, the
Nukemama Corporation

280
00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:18,698
has a plan to rebuild Tromaville
and the rest of the world.

281
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,170
We will watch and observe.

282
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:28,141
When she has that
baby, we will be there.

283
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,177
While Dr. Slag, PhD's plan

284
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:33,847
grew to full term, so did
I. And while the good people

285
00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:35,382
of Tromaville prepared
for the rebirth

286
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:38,018
of the campus and
reactor, my parents

287
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:39,586
prepared for the birth of me.

288
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,858
Then finally the
happy day arrived.

289
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:50,163
Tromaville hospital had the
finest, most sophisticated

290
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:54,034
staff, the finest,
most sophisticated

291
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:58,405
equipment, and the finest,
most sophisticated patients.

292
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:04,711
The facility's all-inclusive
services covered

293
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,079
the entire medical spectrum.

294
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,280
So what
seems to be the problem...

295
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:08,448
From treatment

296
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,616
of restricting underwear...

297
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:10,583
- I
- can't stop watching

298
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:14,721
low-budget badass movies!

299
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,023
...to the removal

300
00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:18,625
of tattoos from toes.

301
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:23,096
Following the example
of the Tromaville diner,

302
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:26,033
the Tromaville hospital
offered an early birth special.

303
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:28,035
So as the birth
contractions came,

304
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:29,970
Mom and Pop drove to
the hospital extra

305
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:32,239
fast because they only
paid half price if they

306
00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:34,341
got there before six o'clock.

307
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:39,179
Ooh, I found ten bucks!

308
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,617
Fetal monitor?

309
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:45,552
Normal.

310
00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:46,486
Pulse rate?

311
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:47,520
Normal.

312
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:48,888
How much is she dilated?

313
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:50,623
She's dilated three feet!

314
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,425
This was the first time ever

315
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,761
that natural childbirth
techniques were

316
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:57,064
used to deliver a subhumanoid.

317
00:14:57,164 --> 00:15:00,100
As with all subhumanoid births,
this one would occur through

318
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,102
the extra set of lips
in the belly , which

319
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,371
are unique to the subhumanoids.

320
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:08,008
The Nukemama corporate gang
soon arrived on the scene.

321
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,877
One positive side effect of
Professor Holt's experiments

322
00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:12,912
was the rapid regrowth
of her astounding

323
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:16,316
hair due to her exposure
to toxic growth hormones.

324
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,517
In, out.

325
00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:18,351
Out, in.

326
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,254
Out, in, out.

327
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,023
She's not listening.

328
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:23,856
Now, Victoria.

329
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:24,724
Take it easy.

330
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:25,558
You're doing fine.

331
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:36,803
In, out.

332
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,371
Just like we practiced.

333
00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:59,526
Is this where Victoria,
the last subhumanoid,

334
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,929
is giving birth to her
human husband's child?

335
00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:07,100
No, this is the
PO-diatric ward.

336
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,137
I believe you're looking
for the PE-diatric ward.

337
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,842
The
birthing was a textbook case.

338
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:20,313
Someone help me!

339
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:24,184
Roger!

340
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,757
I'm not an animal!

341
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,461
The incredible beauty

342
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:37,097
of subhumanoid birth
overwhelmed dad,

343
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,266
and he did his best
not to throw up.

344
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,239
While he was in the waiting
room composing himself,

345
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:50,443
the Nukemama corporate
gang was closing in.

346
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:53,346
The gang entered the delivery
room and waylaid the nurses...

347
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:58,085
Roger, is that you?

348
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:01,421
Roger, I'm in transition, help!

349
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,190
And came back in high tech

350
00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:04,857
sophisticated disguises.

351
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:05,758
Oh, no.

352
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:06,593
Not the novelty nose!

353
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,729
Roger, help me!

354
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:12,365
Oh, no not the novelty beard!

355
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:16,936
Oh, no, not the novelty
squirting flower and eye patch!

356
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:17,804
Oh, no.

357
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:18,671
I'm pushing!

358
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:19,639
It's coming!

359
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:29,249
Oh, my God!

360
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:30,850
Look at the size of
that umbilical cord.

361
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:31,751
Cut it.

362
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:32,719
Stop, you idiot.

363
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,454
That's no umbilical cord.

364
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,789
The baby's a boy.

365
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,792
DR. SLAG, PhD: Everything's
going exactly as I planned.

366
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,294
Now we have the power source.

367
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,929
My father did not know

368
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,098
that the evil Dr. Slag, PhD.

369
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:47,967
Was stealing his precious baby.

370
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,337
The hospital went about
its normal business.

371
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:53,506
Nobody knew that a
baby was being stolen.

372
00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:55,775
Doctor, can
I try a little bit?

373
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:56,643
No, that's later.

374
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:57,944
That's later.

375
00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:59,446
My father went back

376
00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:02,249
into the delivery room, and
as is typically the case,

377
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:05,852
the highly paid obstetricians
were nowhere to be found.

378
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:09,989
Suddenly, my father had a
warm, glowing, powerful feeling

379
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,858
that this was going
to be a special birth.

380
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:13,126
I can't stand you.
I never could stand you.

381
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:14,394
Everything about
you is terrible.

382
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:15,728
I wish you would just
get out, get out!

383
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:17,464
It was a proud moment.

384
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,832
Since mom was giving birth,
dad did what came naturally.

385
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,634
He stuck in his
hand and pulled out

386
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:24,471
a beautiful, well-mannered,
charming, good-natured,

387
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:28,107
healthy, positively-motivated,
versatile baby boy,

388
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:29,976
who was also a good dancer.

389
00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:32,279
Me.

390
00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:37,550
Why, you
yellow-bellied sap sucker!

391
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:40,787
I can't believe
you did this to me.

392
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:43,523
Pop
was so proud, he did not suspect

393
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,892
for a minute that
twins had been born

394
00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:47,560
or that one had been stolen.

395
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:49,061
Her pulse
rate is dropping!

396
00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:51,097
Then tragedy struck.

397
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,665
Cardiac arrest.

398
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:55,635
Clear!

399
00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:58,338
Clear!

400
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,508
Mom expired on the bed,

401
00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:03,643
her body already growing cold.

402
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:06,946
Dad was devastated at
losing his beloved Victoria

403
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:08,248
and never knew
that she had given

404
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:10,550
him not one, but two sons.

405
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,253
Nobody knew that there
were subhumanoid twins.

406
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:28,401
And so the bad guys
transported their baby

407
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,737
to their hideout
nuclear power plant

408
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,773
to be reared in evil ways,
oblivious to the fact

409
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:34,907
that there was another twin.

410
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:43,550
C'mon, get up.

411
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:44,417
C'mon, boy.

412
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:46,486
Coochie coochie coo.

413
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,692
And the
good guy transported his baby

414
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:55,228
to Tromaville to be
reared by the forces

415
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:57,397
of goodness and kindness.

416
00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:59,466
My dad was also
oblivious to the fact

417
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:02,302
that there was another twin.

418
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:05,405
Dad named me Adlai.

419
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:10,777
And Dr. Slag, PhD and Professor
Holt named their baby Dick.

420
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,346
While I was being taught the
Tromavillian ways of world

421
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:17,049
peace through celluloid
and dancing in the streets,

422
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:18,585
Dick was being
taught the evil ways

423
00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:21,321
of corporate elitism gone mad.

424
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,523
But all this intercutting
is taking too long.

425
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,525
Let's go to the split
screen to save time.

426
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:26,793
KEVIN/PROFESSOR
HOLT:

427
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,861
It was a wonderful
thing, raising a child.

428
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:31,798
Little Adlai/Dick brought
such joy to our home/hideout.

429
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,467
But it seemed like he
was going up so quickly.

430
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,470
I soon realized that he really
was growing up so quickly.

431
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:38,971
Dick
was taught the ways

432
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,740
of violence and machine guns.

433
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,241
Adai
was taught the ways

434
00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:44,611
of small Japanese
electronics products.

435
00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:46,045
Dick grew up quickly

436
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:48,047
and could soon beat
any rodent member

437
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:50,517
of the Nukemama corporate gang.

438
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,585
Adlai grew
quickly and was soon head

439
00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:55,021
of the Insect Appreciation Club

440
00:20:55,904 --> 00:20:57,023
A side effect to the human-

441
00:20:57,123 --> 00:21:01,394
subhumanoid gene combination
seemed to accelerate normal

442
00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:03,262
growth by about 10 times.

443
00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:06,599
At first we were concerned
about this rapid growth,

444
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:09,268
but tests seemed to indicate
that little Adlai/Dick was

445
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:11,371
slowing down and
would soon level off

446
00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:13,373
to a more normal growth
pattern upon completion

447
00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:18,277
of the adolescent phase,
or approximately 19 months

448
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:19,779
from birth.

449
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:21,381
But
getting back to my story,

450
00:21:21,481 --> 00:21:22,849
I grew up good and true.

451
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:26,185
And at 19 months of age, I
graduated summa cum troma

452
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,254
from high school.

453
00:21:28,355 --> 00:21:30,390
Dad was so proud.

454
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:33,360
Because I grew up so
fast, upon graduation dad

455
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:36,429
let me date my extremely
capable and efficient wet nurse.

456
00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:40,667
Her name was Trish,
and we were in love.

457
00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:43,336
At the same time, there
was an evil graduation

458
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:45,472
for my twin brother,
Dick, in the bowels

459
00:21:45,572 --> 00:21:48,341
of the nuclear power plant.

460
00:21:48,441 --> 00:21:50,810
Trish gave up wet
nursing and joined me

461
00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:53,946
as a freshman at the Tromaville
Institute of Technology,

462
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:56,649
which had been rebuilt inside
the Nukemama Corporation's

463
00:21:56,749 --> 00:21:59,118
brand new nuclear power plant.

464
00:21:59,218 --> 00:22:02,455
This new nuclear facility was
as dangerous as any other,

465
00:22:02,555 --> 00:22:04,657
but was much less obtrusive
because it didn't have

466
00:22:04,757 --> 00:22:06,726
the normal nuclear
plant towers, which

467
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:10,062
are so expensive to duplicate
in special effects shots.

468
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:12,832
It was camouflaged to look
more like a sugar refinery

469
00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:16,469
to blend in with the beautiful
and lush Tromaville landscape

470
00:22:16,569 --> 00:22:18,204
and wasn't so offensive
to those bleeding

471
00:22:18,304 --> 00:22:19,071
heart environmentalists.

472
00:22:21,808 --> 00:22:23,776
The nuclear reactor's
central control room

473
00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:25,578
was a place not
just for science,

474
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:27,980
but also humanities,
liberal arts,

475
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,281
and philosophical debates.

476
00:22:29,382 --> 00:22:30,683
The egg came first!

477
00:22:30,783 --> 00:22:32,752
I don't care what you say,
the chicken came first.

478
00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:35,555
The Nukemama Corporation

479
00:22:35,655 --> 00:22:37,524
built a new lab for Professor
Holt, where she began

480
00:22:37,624 --> 00:22:40,159
cloning experiments based
on the essential elements

481
00:22:40,259 --> 00:22:42,161
of earth, air, fire, and water.

482
00:22:42,261 --> 00:22:45,698
A wolf clone for earth and
air, a dragon clone for fire,

483
00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:47,600
and a fish head clone for water.

484
00:22:53,606 --> 00:22:55,642
The campus hallways
were once again bustling

485
00:22:55,742 --> 00:22:57,844
with people going to classes.

486
00:22:57,944 --> 00:22:59,646
Tromaville Institute
of Technology

487
00:22:59,746 --> 00:23:04,951
had fully recovered from the
near disaster of two years ago.

488
00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:09,221
Young scholars once again
pursued individual studies,

489
00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:12,492
participated in lively
academic debates,

490
00:23:12,592 --> 00:23:15,562
developed mature
relationships, and interacted

491
00:23:15,662 --> 00:23:18,397
with a highly esteemed faculty.

492
00:23:18,498 --> 00:23:19,899
Independent studies
were explored

493
00:23:19,999 --> 00:23:22,902
by all the student
body under the guidance

494
00:23:23,002 --> 00:23:23,803
of scholarly advisors.

495
00:23:26,539 --> 00:23:28,808
And although they were free
to pick their own course

496
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:31,578
of studies from a
curriculum that included

497
00:23:31,678 --> 00:23:34,013
oceanographic studies...

498
00:23:34,113 --> 00:23:37,083
Come lick my starfish, baby.

499
00:23:37,183 --> 00:23:38,851
...and cinema studies,

500
00:23:38,951 --> 00:23:41,788
featuring Dances With Wolves
and other great works by Troma

501
00:23:41,888 --> 00:23:46,559
alumni, students freely accepted
the input of their professors

502
00:23:46,659 --> 00:23:50,296
as long as they stayed in their
hermetically sealed suits.

503
00:23:50,396 --> 00:23:52,298
My own studies
proceeded rapidly,

504
00:23:52,398 --> 00:23:56,235
as did my romance with dear
Trish, accelerated and inspired

505
00:23:56,335 --> 00:23:57,937
by our shared
political consciousness

506
00:23:58,037 --> 00:24:01,474
for an earth threatening
environmental cause.

507
00:24:01,574 --> 00:24:04,310
Save the boll weevil!

508
00:24:04,410 --> 00:24:05,778
Thanks, honey.

509
00:24:05,878 --> 00:24:06,746
Please, folks.

510
00:24:06,846 --> 00:24:08,815
Give to save the boll weevil.

511
00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:12,118
The boll weevil has a right
to live in our society.

512
00:24:12,218 --> 00:24:13,419
Slam, you gotta donate.

513
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,155
He's got a place in
our animal kingdom.

514
00:24:16,255 --> 00:24:17,690
Damn!

515
00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:19,626
Gosh, Trish, this blatant
disregard for the boll weevil

516
00:24:19,726 --> 00:24:21,393
really gets my goat.

517
00:24:21,494 --> 00:24:22,662
I mean, you'd have
to be blind not

518
00:24:22,762 --> 00:24:24,964
to realize that if
the weevil dies out,

519
00:24:25,064 --> 00:24:26,332
cotton will run rampant.

520
00:24:26,432 --> 00:24:28,801
And if cotton runs
rampant, well,

521
00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:32,905
gee, there'll be no synthetic
polyester leisure suits.

522
00:24:33,005 --> 00:24:36,609
I mean, Western civilization
owes a lot to the boll weevil.

523
00:24:36,709 --> 00:24:38,210
Don't worry, Adlai.

524
00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:42,248
We keep working and striving,
the weevil won't be forgotten.

525
00:24:42,348 --> 00:24:43,616
Gosh, I love you, Trish.

526
00:24:46,853 --> 00:24:49,088
Gosh, Adlai, You
just broke your rule

527
00:24:49,188 --> 00:24:50,790
of public display of affection.

528
00:24:50,890 --> 00:24:53,192
I know it's kooky,
Trish, but sometimes

529
00:24:53,292 --> 00:24:55,662
I just can't resist you.

530
00:24:59,131 --> 00:24:59,866
Yo, dude.

531
00:24:59,966 --> 00:25:01,634
Save the boll weevil, please.

532
00:25:08,174 --> 00:25:10,643
Excuse me.

533
00:25:10,743 --> 00:25:13,112
I just haven't been feeling
too well since I started

534
00:25:13,212 --> 00:25:15,648
working at the nuclear plant.

535
00:25:15,748 --> 00:25:17,049
What's wrong, dear?

536
00:25:17,149 --> 00:25:20,419
We had another one of
them plutonium fires.

537
00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:21,420
I don't know.

538
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,422
I think I got contaminated.

539
00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:24,924
ADLAI SMITH
Trish and I

540
00:25:25,024 --> 00:25:27,894
were so excited over raising
$0.75 for the boll weevil

541
00:25:27,994 --> 00:25:30,229
that we went back to my
dorm room to celebrate.

542
00:25:30,329 --> 00:25:36,903
Oh, Adlai, that talk about the
boll weevil really turns me on.

543
00:25:41,974 --> 00:25:44,443
Wouldn't you like
to watch some TV?

544
00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:48,681
Adlai, Adlai, don't
you find me attractive?

545
00:25:48,781 --> 00:25:50,316
Boy did I ever.

546
00:25:50,416 --> 00:25:53,653
What I loved about Trish was
that she was so innocent, so

547
00:25:53,753 --> 00:26:00,359
clean, so fresh, so
young, so shy, so healthy,

548
00:26:00,459 --> 00:26:03,229
so bouncey, so full of life.

549
00:26:03,329 --> 00:26:06,232
Trish knew that she had a
big double exam coming up,

550
00:26:06,332 --> 00:26:08,567
and she was full of nervous
energy knowing that she

551
00:26:08,668 --> 00:26:10,469
would be up all night cramming.

552
00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:12,271
Oh, Adlai.

553
00:26:12,371 --> 00:26:13,873
You're so good.

554
00:26:13,973 --> 00:26:17,009
Oh, boll weevil me, Adlai.

555
00:26:17,109 --> 00:26:17,877
Oh.

556
00:26:20,713 --> 00:26:24,183
Oh, do the boll weevil on me.

557
00:26:24,283 --> 00:26:25,551
You're so good.

558
00:26:25,652 --> 00:26:26,552
I love it.

559
00:26:26,653 --> 00:26:28,520
Boll weevil me.

560
00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:33,059
Oh, please stop.

561
00:26:33,159 --> 00:26:36,829
I can't take any more.

562
00:26:36,929 --> 00:26:38,597
Are you sure that's enough?

563
00:26:38,698 --> 00:26:41,533
Yes, I can't take
any more right now.

564
00:26:41,634 --> 00:26:44,036
All right, then, I love you.

565
00:26:44,136 --> 00:26:47,774
But wait, you didn't get a
chance to finish, did you?

566
00:26:47,874 --> 00:26:49,776
No, but I don't care.

567
00:26:49,876 --> 00:26:52,979
As long as you're happy,
that's all that matters for me.

568
00:26:53,079 --> 00:26:56,348
I actually enjoy
having blue balls.

569
00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:58,685
Adlai, I love you.

570
00:26:58,785 --> 00:27:00,452
Although I was one with Trish,

571
00:27:00,552 --> 00:27:03,222
little did I know that at
that very moment, somewhere

572
00:27:03,322 --> 00:27:07,059
in outer Tromaville, a part
of me, my very own genes,

573
00:27:07,159 --> 00:27:10,362
were implicated in a hideous
evil training session.

574
00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:12,765
Dick, now you must
continue with your training

575
00:27:12,865 --> 00:27:16,235
by taking on the
Mad Armor Clad Lad.

576
00:27:16,335 --> 00:27:18,570
Bring on the armor man.

577
00:27:18,671 --> 00:27:19,939
Let the training begin.

578
00:27:27,947 --> 00:27:29,816
Now use the silly string.

579
00:27:53,372 --> 00:27:54,907
Now the badminton rackets.

580
00:27:58,177 --> 00:27:59,411
Use the surfboard.

581
00:28:10,322 --> 00:28:13,192
Uh, who's winning?

582
00:28:28,941 --> 00:28:30,176
ADLAI SMITH
Meanwhile

583
00:28:30,276 --> 00:28:32,879
at the heady heights of
my maleness with Trish,

584
00:28:32,979 --> 00:28:34,313
it happened again.

585
00:28:34,413 --> 00:28:37,149
What's the matter, honey?

586
00:28:37,249 --> 00:28:38,851
I just can't shake that
feeling that I'm not

587
00:28:38,951 --> 00:28:41,187
a whole person,
that a part of me

588
00:28:41,287 --> 00:28:44,857
is floating around in
the world somewhere.

589
00:28:44,957 --> 00:28:47,760
Dick, I'm
glad you are so bad

590
00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:50,162
and that you defeated
the Mad Armor Clad Lad.

591
00:28:58,370 --> 00:29:00,372
Excellent, Dick.

592
00:29:00,472 --> 00:29:02,041
Your progress is steady.

593
00:29:02,141 --> 00:29:04,710
Soon you'll be allowed
to use your skills

594
00:29:04,811 --> 00:29:06,512
in the world at large.

595
00:29:06,612 --> 00:29:09,548
I sure hope so,
but I'm telling you,

596
00:29:09,648 --> 00:29:13,019
I keep having those same dreams
where that little voice keeps

597
00:29:13,119 --> 00:29:15,254
telling me that there's
something in the world for me

598
00:29:15,354 --> 00:29:18,424
to look for, like half my
body is out there waiting

599
00:29:18,524 --> 00:29:20,392
for me to find it or something.

600
00:29:20,492 --> 00:29:24,030
Why, Dick, you wax poetic.

601
00:29:24,130 --> 00:29:27,433
I wish there was some
way I could help you.

602
00:29:27,533 --> 00:29:28,935
Oh, Trish.

603
00:29:29,035 --> 00:29:30,870
Just keep being yourself.

604
00:29:30,970 --> 00:29:34,740
That's all the help
I need from you.

605
00:29:34,841 --> 00:29:38,477
Now you don't want
another lobotomy, do you?

606
00:29:38,577 --> 00:29:39,846
Sir, no thanks.

607
00:29:39,946 --> 00:29:42,148
I'll keep my mind on
maiming and killing, sir.

608
00:29:42,248 --> 00:29:43,950
That's better.

609
00:29:44,050 --> 00:29:48,287
Besides, you know that we are
striving to genetically create

610
00:29:48,387 --> 00:29:51,057
a biological
counter-part which will

611
00:29:51,157 --> 00:29:57,329
undoubtedly remedy that feeling
of incompleteness you sense.

612
00:29:57,429 --> 00:30:03,669
Alone you have good power,
but with a genetic clone,

613
00:30:03,769 --> 00:30:07,573
your power will be incredible.

614
00:30:07,673 --> 00:30:13,612
Or to put it another way, two
Dicks are better than one.

615
00:30:13,712 --> 00:30:15,481
I know it, sir.

616
00:30:15,581 --> 00:30:16,815
Excuse me.

617
00:30:16,916 --> 00:30:20,686
Dr. Slag, PhD?

618
00:30:20,786 --> 00:30:23,389
Yes, what is it,
Professor Holt?

619
00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:26,525
And it better be good or I'm
going to have your nipples

620
00:30:26,625 --> 00:30:28,127
pierced with soldering irons.

621
00:30:28,227 --> 00:30:32,064
Already done that,
Dr. Slag, PhD.

622
00:30:32,164 --> 00:30:33,866
Oh, yes.

623
00:30:33,966 --> 00:30:36,268
That's right.

624
00:30:36,368 --> 00:30:40,272
Quite a show it was,
huh Little Egg White?

625
00:30:42,909 --> 00:30:46,112
Shut up, Little Egg White.

626
00:30:46,212 --> 00:30:52,051
Well Dr. Slag, PhD., we have
the final cloning results.

627
00:30:52,151 --> 00:30:54,586
And I bet it's just
another miserable failure.

628
00:30:57,856 --> 00:30:59,191
Au contraire.

629
00:30:59,291 --> 00:31:02,028
We simply put a set of
swimming flippers on an iguana

630
00:31:02,128 --> 00:31:04,296
with sinus congestion.

631
00:31:07,967 --> 00:31:09,568
Ahh, Patrice.

632
00:31:09,668 --> 00:31:14,140
I'm so glad you appreciate
a good sense of humor.

633
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:17,209
Perhaps you would
like to participate

634
00:31:17,309 --> 00:31:20,712
in a little demonstration
of this lovely creature's

635
00:31:20,812 --> 00:31:22,848
special powers?

636
00:31:22,949 --> 00:31:24,816
No, no!

637
00:31:31,590 --> 00:31:32,324
Ow!

638
00:31:32,424 --> 00:31:34,126
Ooh, I'm on fire.

639
00:31:34,226 --> 00:31:35,494
I can feel I'm on fire.

640
00:31:35,594 --> 00:31:39,665
My skin, my
hands, I'm melting!

641
00:31:44,336 --> 00:31:45,571
What a shame.

642
00:31:45,671 --> 00:31:49,976
She had such good hands, didn't
she, my Little Egg White?

643
00:31:50,076 --> 00:31:53,212
Great hands, Dr. Slag, PhD.

644
00:31:53,312 --> 00:31:56,615
Now you see why cloning is
so crucial to our purpose.

645
00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:01,287
Don't worry, Dick.

646
00:32:01,387 --> 00:32:05,024
We'll soon set you up
with a counter-part.

647
00:32:05,124 --> 00:32:09,228
And when we do, you'll
be so powerful you'll

648
00:32:09,328 --> 00:32:11,863
make what that mutant
did to that girl look

649
00:32:11,964 --> 00:32:13,232
like heavy petting

650
00:32:13,332 --> 00:32:14,733
petting, petting, petting,

651
00:32:14,833 --> 00:32:16,235
petting, petting, petting.

652
00:32:19,305 --> 00:32:20,439
I felt strange

653
00:32:20,539 --> 00:32:23,542
and lost that amorous
feeling, so I sent

654
00:32:23,642 --> 00:32:27,779
Trish back to her dorm room

655
00:32:29,881 --> 00:32:32,884
But Trish was persistent.

656
00:32:52,871 --> 00:32:53,972
Hello?

657
00:32:54,073 --> 00:32:56,375
Hi, sweetie.

658
00:32:56,475 --> 00:32:58,544
Oh, hi, Trishy.

659
00:32:58,644 --> 00:33:00,946
You don't sound very
excited to hear from me.

660
00:33:01,047 --> 00:33:02,314
Oh, heck, Trish.

661
00:33:02,414 --> 00:33:04,583
You know I'm always
excited to hear from you.

662
00:33:04,683 --> 00:33:07,086
It's just I have this big
entomology exam tomorrow.

663
00:33:07,186 --> 00:33:08,987
You know how much that
class means to me.

664
00:33:09,088 --> 00:33:10,722
Well,
you know I want you to get

665
00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:13,559
an A in whatever that is.

666
00:33:13,659 --> 00:33:17,463
Although I was hoping, uh,
maybe we could get together,

667
00:33:17,563 --> 00:33:22,668
and I could give you
a little inspiration.

668
00:33:22,768 --> 00:33:24,870
You're not doing that
phone thing again, are you?

669
00:33:24,970 --> 00:33:27,106
Uh huh.

670
00:33:27,206 --> 00:33:28,774
Ooh, Trish.

671
00:33:28,874 --> 00:33:31,343
You give new meaning
to fiber optics.

672
00:33:31,443 --> 00:33:32,811
Trish, you know I
can't take it when

673
00:33:32,911 --> 00:33:34,280
you put the phone down there.

674
00:33:37,516 --> 00:33:38,250
Oh.

675
00:33:41,087 --> 00:33:43,955
Oh, I love you, Trish,
but I just can't do it.

676
00:33:44,056 --> 00:33:46,225
Entomology class is just
too important to throw

677
00:33:46,325 --> 00:33:47,559
away on a night of passion.

678
00:33:47,659 --> 00:33:50,062
Gosh,
I guess you're right.

679
00:33:50,162 --> 00:33:51,397
I'm sorry.

680
00:33:51,497 --> 00:33:53,965
Can you ever find a
way to forgive me?

681
00:33:54,066 --> 00:33:55,634
Of course I forgive you.

682
00:33:55,734 --> 00:33:58,570
You're my little grasshopper.

683
00:33:58,670 --> 00:33:59,405
Kiss, kiss.

684
00:34:07,746 --> 00:34:10,182
Darn, another hard-on.

685
00:34:10,282 --> 00:34:12,651
Well, I guess there's nothing
to do except read a little

686
00:34:12,751 --> 00:34:15,987
more until I can fall asleep.

687
00:34:16,088 --> 00:34:19,825
Ooh, the boll weevil thrust its
long, slender, throbbing nose

688
00:34:19,925 --> 00:34:24,396
into the wet cotton ball amidst
a disgusting black fluid.

689
00:34:24,496 --> 00:34:25,231
Ooh.

690
00:34:43,782 --> 00:34:45,284
I'm having the dream

691
00:34:45,384 --> 00:34:49,721
again... the melon-heavy dream.

692
00:34:49,821 --> 00:34:53,024
I'm in a room with smoke,
and Trish and her sisters,

693
00:34:53,125 --> 00:34:55,194
the grasshoppers, come.

694
00:34:55,294 --> 00:34:59,265
They're trying to tell me
something about entomology.

695
00:34:59,365 --> 00:35:02,534
They're telling me
about grasshoppers.

696
00:35:02,634 --> 00:35:04,803
I am happy.

697
00:35:04,903 --> 00:35:06,938
Then it happens again.

698
00:35:07,038 --> 00:35:10,108
I'm drawn to Trish.

699
00:35:10,209 --> 00:35:12,678
As she turns around,
her face has changed.

700
00:35:12,778 --> 00:35:14,413
Something is very wrong.

701
00:35:14,513 --> 00:35:17,683
As if born out of all evil
come hideous creatures.

702
00:35:17,783 --> 00:35:19,385
The spirits urge me on.

703
00:35:19,485 --> 00:35:22,754
I don't want to strangle Trish,
but I can't control myself.

704
00:35:22,854 --> 00:35:25,891
The more I try to unlock my
fingers, the tighter they get.

705
00:35:25,991 --> 00:35:27,326
It's as if I'm
strangling all that's

706
00:35:27,426 --> 00:35:33,965
bad... my own sex, my guilt.
She is a limp cockroach.

707
00:35:34,065 --> 00:35:35,801
Suddenly, I hear a voice.

708
00:35:35,901 --> 00:35:37,102
Adlai.

709
00:35:37,203 --> 00:35:38,637
Dick.

710
00:35:38,737 --> 00:35:40,206
The
fecund stomach calls to me.

711
00:35:40,306 --> 00:35:43,242
The birth maker, I
cannot stop myself.

712
00:35:43,342 --> 00:35:44,710
I am drawn to it.

713
00:35:44,810 --> 00:35:45,844
It reaches out to me.

714
00:35:45,944 --> 00:35:47,613
The motnamodder,
the spirit of all

715
00:35:47,713 --> 00:35:49,881
that's pleasurable,
the symbol of all

716
00:35:49,981 --> 00:35:51,250
that's perverse and evil.

717
00:35:58,390 --> 00:36:00,158
Two extremely
trendy, well-dressed

718
00:36:00,259 --> 00:36:03,729
lesbian spirits exhort me.

719
00:36:03,829 --> 00:36:07,799
All of the spirits combine their
powers to join the exhortation.

720
00:36:07,899 --> 00:36:10,936
I do the only logical thing
under the circumstances.

721
00:36:11,036 --> 00:36:13,805
I stick my hand in.

722
00:36:13,905 --> 00:36:15,974
They cry out in exaltation.

723
00:36:16,074 --> 00:36:19,778
As if being born
again, my arm is warm.

724
00:36:19,878 --> 00:36:21,547
It is wet.

725
00:36:21,647 --> 00:36:23,849
It's lit up like a
fucking Christmas tree.

726
00:36:28,620 --> 00:36:29,455
Dick.

727
00:36:29,555 --> 00:36:30,522
Dick.

728
00:36:30,622 --> 00:36:33,859
All I can think of is Dick.

729
00:36:33,959 --> 00:36:36,762
And the dream ends the
same way it always does.

730
00:36:36,862 --> 00:36:39,865
I say something, but I
don't know what I mean.

731
00:36:39,965 --> 00:36:41,733
I don't know why I say it.

732
00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:42,801
I say...

733
00:36:42,901 --> 00:36:44,736
Dick must never find out.

734
00:36:51,109 --> 00:36:52,077
ADLAI SMITH
Why do I

735
00:36:52,177 --> 00:36:53,945
feel there's a Dick out there?

736
00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:56,648
My hand, it's glowing.

737
00:36:56,748 --> 00:36:57,883
It's yellow.

738
00:36:57,983 --> 00:36:59,751
Yellow is not my color.

739
00:36:59,851 --> 00:37:01,553
Oh, God, I need water.

740
00:37:01,653 --> 00:37:03,622
Wake me up.

741
00:37:03,722 --> 00:37:05,223
I'm not dreaming.

742
00:37:05,324 --> 00:37:07,626
My hand is hard and stiff.

743
00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:10,862
I can't move my fingers,
but I seem to be

744
00:37:10,962 --> 00:37:14,333
able to control this power.

745
00:37:14,433 --> 00:37:16,835
Well, Dick, I
brought these bored housewives

746
00:37:16,935 --> 00:37:20,372
here tonight to see you take
on my most lethal challenge.

747
00:37:23,509 --> 00:37:25,511
Rollerblade warriors
whom I've personally

748
00:37:25,611 --> 00:37:27,646
trained from prepubescence.

749
00:37:27,746 --> 00:37:30,649
They are armed with
deadly lead pipes,

750
00:37:30,749 --> 00:37:35,787
cleverly disguised to look like
harmless, PG-rated wiffle bats.

751
00:38:15,327 --> 00:38:16,628
Whoa, he put his
hand through his head.

752
00:38:16,728 --> 00:38:18,364
That wasn't part
of the training.

753
00:38:24,035 --> 00:38:27,072
Well, Dick,
my boy, you've finally

754
00:38:27,172 --> 00:38:30,509
found your purpose in life.

755
00:38:30,609 --> 00:38:32,110
Those students, all they
think about it is safety.

756
00:38:32,210 --> 00:38:34,780
So who's gotta check their
cables for the annual festival

757
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:35,647
tonight?

758
00:38:35,747 --> 00:38:36,415
Me.

759
00:38:36,515 --> 00:38:37,649
The cables are fine.

760
00:38:51,730 --> 00:38:52,631
Yes.

761
00:38:52,731 --> 00:38:53,632
One special day,

762
00:38:53,732 --> 00:38:56,702
something unusual happened.

763
00:38:56,802 --> 00:38:59,371
Oh, Adlai, it's
so cold in here.

764
00:39:06,277 --> 00:39:07,579
Here, let me warm up the room.

765
00:39:07,679 --> 00:39:09,247
I decided to try and make

766
00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:11,450
my hand glow like in the dream.

767
00:39:14,252 --> 00:39:18,490
My hand got very hard and stiff,
but I could control its power.

768
00:39:18,590 --> 00:39:20,325
I suppose there's
some good things I have

769
00:39:20,426 --> 00:39:21,827
with this new power after all.

770
00:39:34,205 --> 00:39:36,241
Great article, Adlai.

771
00:39:36,341 --> 00:39:37,075
Thank you, Captain.

772
00:39:49,821 --> 00:39:52,123
Oh, look at the
headline, Adlai.

773
00:39:52,223 --> 00:39:53,892
Gosh, I'm so excited, Trish.

774
00:39:53,992 --> 00:39:55,961
My first article
in the school paper

775
00:39:56,061 --> 00:39:59,665
a feature on the annual
Tromaville Night Fest.

776
00:39:59,765 --> 00:40:03,435
You're going to be
just like your dad.

777
00:40:03,535 --> 00:40:05,403
I don't know about
that one, Trish.

778
00:40:05,504 --> 00:40:07,473
He was a wild one, to hear tell.

779
00:40:07,573 --> 00:40:09,007
Why, I hear all sorts
of crazy stories

780
00:40:09,107 --> 00:40:10,676
from people that went
to school with him

781
00:40:10,776 --> 00:40:12,978
that are still around today.

782
00:40:13,078 --> 00:40:14,646
Wow.

783
00:40:14,746 --> 00:40:17,415
Trish
and I decided to play hooky.

784
00:40:17,516 --> 00:40:18,850
It was the first
time I missed class,

785
00:40:18,950 --> 00:40:20,952
and I felt guilty because
we were going to have

786
00:40:21,052 --> 00:40:22,988
a lesson on water bug sex.

787
00:40:39,070 --> 00:40:40,105
That feels good.

788
00:40:40,205 --> 00:40:41,673
I couldn't help thinking

789
00:40:41,773 --> 00:40:43,174
about my special powers.

790
00:40:43,274 --> 00:40:46,545
I could make my hand light
up or not at my own will,

791
00:40:46,645 --> 00:40:48,980
but what was I
supposed to do with it?

792
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:50,549
What was my destiny?

793
00:40:50,649 --> 00:40:52,450
What will I do with my life?

794
00:40:52,551 --> 00:40:55,020
Will I be more than just
a disposable flashlight?

795
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:58,356
Or will I achieve truth,
peace, and justice?

796
00:40:58,456 --> 00:41:00,425
I don't know why,
but I decided to do

797
00:41:00,526 --> 00:41:03,061
something crazy with my hand.

798
00:41:10,068 --> 00:41:12,403
it turned out that my
hand had a power that

799
00:41:12,504 --> 00:41:15,373
could be used across 15 feet.

800
00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:17,576
My hand brought Trish
to a higher place,

801
00:41:17,676 --> 00:41:19,645
where she was at one with me.

802
00:41:19,745 --> 00:41:22,113
Now it was revealed to
me that my power could

803
00:41:22,213 --> 00:41:23,815
be used for the force of good.

804
00:41:28,086 --> 00:41:30,722
We could have gone on pleasuring
each other all night long,

805
00:41:30,822 --> 00:41:32,691
but we stopped to rest
because tonight was

806
00:41:32,791 --> 00:41:35,226
the annual festival, and
we had to get to the plant

807
00:41:35,326 --> 00:41:37,328
in time for the festivities.

808
00:41:37,428 --> 00:41:39,898
Little did we know that a
mishap at the nuclear reactor

809
00:41:39,998 --> 00:41:42,300
had shut down power
to the festival.

810
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,069
Fortunately, the
well-rehearsed safety

811
00:41:44,169 --> 00:41:47,839
evacuation drills were followed
perfectly and nobody panicked.

812
00:41:50,709 --> 00:41:52,310
How are we going
to get power back?

813
00:41:52,410 --> 00:41:53,612
Why

814
00:41:53,712 --> 00:41:55,146
Does faculty advisor
have to be on sabbatical

815
00:41:55,246 --> 00:41:57,649
when this happens?

816
00:41:57,749 --> 00:41:58,850
-Chicken.
-Egg.

817
00:41:58,950 --> 00:41:59,484
Chicken.

818
00:41:59,585 --> 00:42:00,852
Egg, egg, egg.

819
00:42:00,952 --> 00:42:03,054
You egg-head,
chicken came first.

820
00:42:03,154 --> 00:42:04,189
No, it was the egg.

821
00:42:04,289 --> 00:42:05,023
Chick-chick-chicken.

822
00:42:07,826 --> 00:42:09,561
Your
attention, please.

823
00:42:09,661 --> 00:42:11,997
Evacuate the festival
grounds immediately.

824
00:42:12,097 --> 00:42:15,567
And go to the north for
an urgent announcement

825
00:42:15,667 --> 00:42:17,168
by Professor Chernobyl.

826
00:42:19,671 --> 00:42:22,207
Thank you for your cooperation.

827
00:42:22,307 --> 00:42:23,341
Oh, you guys are
going love this.

828
00:42:23,441 --> 00:42:24,175
This is great.

829
00:42:24,275 --> 00:42:25,877
This is great.

830
00:42:25,977 --> 00:42:28,313
Attention people of Tromaville.

831
00:42:28,413 --> 00:42:29,815
My name is Professor
Chernobyl, and I

832
00:42:29,915 --> 00:42:32,283
have some good news for you
and some bad news for you.

833
00:42:32,383 --> 00:42:33,819
First the bad news.

834
00:42:33,919 --> 00:42:35,253
I was just informed
by the police

835
00:42:35,353 --> 00:42:37,723
that we're experiencing
technical difficulties here

836
00:42:37,823 --> 00:42:40,058
at Tromaville
nuclear facilities.

837
00:42:40,158 --> 00:42:43,461
If we can't procure a
super-heated nuclear catalyst

838
00:42:43,561 --> 00:42:45,396
in the next 10 minutes,
we can no longer

839
00:42:45,496 --> 00:42:47,365
restore power to your festival.

840
00:42:50,368 --> 00:42:54,005
I'm sorry, but it gets better.

841
00:42:54,105 --> 00:42:55,240
Much better.

842
00:42:55,340 --> 00:42:58,677
Uh, folks, you see, our
resulting system's shutdown

843
00:42:58,777 --> 00:43:00,979
creates the possibility
of a major explosion

844
00:43:01,079 --> 00:43:04,783
here at the plant, showering all
of us with radioactive water.

845
00:43:06,117 --> 00:43:07,452
Ain't that special?

846
00:43:07,552 --> 00:43:08,987
We all die.

847
00:43:09,087 --> 00:43:10,822
And this pisses me off, because
I spent the last two years

848
00:43:10,922 --> 00:43:12,390
of my life teaching
little idiots

849
00:43:12,490 --> 00:43:15,326
how to read, write, educate
yourselves, behave yourselves.

850
00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:16,561
What kind of thanks do I get?

851
00:43:16,662 --> 00:43:18,163
I don't get dick.

852
00:43:18,263 --> 00:43:23,334
I would like to vomit on each
and every one of... I'm sorry.

853
00:43:23,434 --> 00:43:25,971
I got a little carried away.

854
00:43:26,071 --> 00:43:27,706
What we are suggesting
is that all of you

855
00:43:27,806 --> 00:43:30,475
grab your radiation
suits, rush to your home,

856
00:43:30,575 --> 00:43:34,012
and cover yourself with eight
inch thick blankets of lead.

857
00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:37,448
Those of you took my nuclear
survival class will survive.

858
00:43:37,548 --> 00:43:41,452
Those of who didn't, tough.

859
00:43:41,552 --> 00:43:42,821
Oh, now the good news.

860
00:43:42,921 --> 00:43:45,190
Drinks are half price
at the cafeteria.

861
00:43:45,290 --> 00:43:47,158
Thanks for your patience,
and have a nice day.

862
00:43:52,030 --> 00:43:54,265
Gosh, Adlai, what
are we going to do?

863
00:43:54,365 --> 00:43:55,901
We're never going to make
it through this crowd

864
00:43:56,001 --> 00:43:58,503
to the student union
fallout shelter in time.

865
00:43:58,603 --> 00:44:00,171
Well, there's another
shelter in town,

866
00:44:00,271 --> 00:44:04,375
but town's going to
be just as crowded.

867
00:44:04,475 --> 00:44:07,078
Hey, wait a minute.

868
00:44:07,178 --> 00:44:08,279
I have an idea.

869
00:44:08,379 --> 00:44:10,081
It suddenly occurred to me.

870
00:44:10,181 --> 00:44:12,217
If my hand could pleasure
Trish so greatly,

871
00:44:12,317 --> 00:44:14,886
surely it could replace
a nuclear reactor core.

872
00:44:14,986 --> 00:44:17,088
By now all of Tromaville
lay in darkness.

873
00:44:17,188 --> 00:44:19,524
And just as my hand had brought
Trish to a higher place with me

874
00:44:19,624 --> 00:44:22,694
earlier that evening, it now
brought peace to the students,

875
00:44:22,794 --> 00:44:24,562
and they stopped
their foolish panic.

876
00:44:24,662 --> 00:44:27,799
Soon they rallied behind me to
the main nuclear core control

877
00:44:27,899 --> 00:44:30,135
room, where the highly
skilled technicians valiantly

878
00:44:30,235 --> 00:44:32,370
fought to save Tromaville
from catastrophe.

879
00:44:32,470 --> 00:44:33,371
-Chicken.
-Egg.

880
00:44:33,471 --> 00:44:34,205
Chicken.

881
00:44:34,305 --> 00:44:35,040
Egg.

882
00:44:35,140 --> 00:44:36,541
Chicken.

883
00:44:37,909 --> 00:44:39,077
- Chicken.
- Egg.

884
00:44:39,177 --> 00:44:40,545
- Chicken.
- Egg.

885
00:44:40,645 --> 00:44:41,446
- Chicken.
- Egg.

886
00:44:41,546 --> 00:44:42,848
Chicken.

887
00:44:42,948 --> 00:44:45,416
Young man, I'm going to
have to ask you to leave.

888
00:44:45,516 --> 00:44:46,718
You don't understand.

889
00:44:46,818 --> 00:44:48,586
I've simply got to get
inside that reactor.

890
00:44:48,686 --> 00:44:49,755
Absolutely not.

891
00:44:49,855 --> 00:44:51,156
That is entirely
out of the question.

892
00:44:51,256 --> 00:44:53,691
Why, we may have a very
dangerous situation here,

893
00:44:53,792 --> 00:44:54,993
one that even
trained professionals

894
00:44:55,093 --> 00:44:57,162
may not be able to handle!

895
00:44:57,262 --> 00:44:58,997
Look, this plant
could go up any second,

896
00:44:59,097 --> 00:45:00,298
and you've done all you can.

897
00:45:00,398 --> 00:45:02,033
Why shouldn't you let
me give it a chance?

898
00:45:02,133 --> 00:45:03,568
Out!
Get out!

899
00:45:03,668 --> 00:45:04,535
He's right.

900
00:45:04,635 --> 00:45:05,436
Why not?

901
00:45:05,536 --> 00:45:06,404
Absolutely no chance.

902
00:45:06,504 --> 00:45:07,705
I'd die first.

903
00:45:07,806 --> 00:45:09,340
Look, what have
you got to lose?

904
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:11,276
Let him in
or we'll rip your head off!

905
00:45:11,376 --> 00:45:12,844
- Yeah!
- Just kill her!

906
00:45:12,944 --> 00:45:14,112
Yeah!

907
00:45:14,212 --> 00:45:15,713
Let's
rip her head off.

908
00:45:15,814 --> 00:45:17,148
- Yeah!
- Kill her!

909
00:45:17,248 --> 00:45:18,149
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

910
00:45:18,249 --> 00:45:18,583
Yeah!
Yeah!

911
00:45:18,683 --> 00:45:19,184
Yeah!

912
00:45:19,284 --> 00:45:19,684
OK.

913
00:45:19,785 --> 00:45:21,953
Go ahead.

914
00:45:22,053 --> 00:45:23,221
ADLAI SMITH
As I gazed

915
00:45:23,321 --> 00:45:25,791
into Trish's beautiful
grasshopper eyes,

916
00:45:25,891 --> 00:45:28,760
I realized that now I had
full control over my power

917
00:45:28,860 --> 00:45:31,029
and could light my hand at will.

918
00:45:31,129 --> 00:45:33,765
I knew that the fate of
Tromaville and the world as we

919
00:45:33,865 --> 00:45:36,334
know it lay in the
power of my hand.

920
00:45:36,434 --> 00:45:39,204
I rushed to the main reactor
with only seconds to spare.

921
00:45:39,304 --> 00:45:41,172
And even though the
reactor attendants

922
00:45:41,272 --> 00:45:44,275
had given up all hope and were
abandoning the power core,

923
00:45:44,375 --> 00:45:46,778
my destiny was to find
me here in the form

924
00:45:46,878 --> 00:45:48,914
of an even greater power.

925
00:45:49,014 --> 00:45:51,082
As I put my hand in
the reactor core,

926
00:45:51,182 --> 00:45:53,985
all the lights of Tromaville
blazed back to life,

927
00:45:54,085 --> 00:45:55,586
and there was much rejoicing.

928
00:46:04,062 --> 00:46:05,763
Trish was so proud.

929
00:46:08,967 --> 00:46:11,236
Now I had discovered
my purpose in life,

930
00:46:11,336 --> 00:46:13,805
that my power was
indeed a force of good,

931
00:46:13,905 --> 00:46:17,876
which could d used for the
betterment of all mankind.

932
00:46:17,976 --> 00:46:19,210
Clean up
that mercury spill.

933
00:46:19,310 --> 00:46:20,711
Mayor Smith is about to
give a press conference.

934
00:46:20,812 --> 00:46:22,113
Conference
schmonference!

935
00:46:22,213 --> 00:46:23,648
After the success

936
00:46:23,748 --> 00:46:25,650
of Class of Nuke 'Em High Part
II, Dad was elected mayor.

937
00:46:25,750 --> 00:46:28,153
Not just because he had really
put Tromaville on the map,

938
00:46:28,253 --> 00:46:30,521
but because, really, he was
the only person who could

939
00:46:30,621 --> 00:46:32,290
find Tromaville on the map.

940
00:46:32,390 --> 00:46:36,694
Ladies and gentlemen, it does
me great pleasure to honor

941
00:46:36,794 --> 00:46:39,130
the person that we honor today.

942
00:46:39,230 --> 00:46:41,099
Not long after the
campus experienced

943
00:46:41,199 --> 00:46:43,368
the tragedy of
subhumanoid meltdown

944
00:46:43,468 --> 00:46:46,137
and the subsequent defeat
of its evil rulers,

945
00:46:46,237 --> 00:46:49,040
my wife gave birth
to a little boy

946
00:46:49,140 --> 00:46:52,077
but sadly passed away afterward.

947
00:46:52,177 --> 00:46:54,846
It was a bleak time
in Tromaville history,

948
00:46:54,946 --> 00:46:58,049
and many people felt our
city was destined to ruin.

949
00:46:58,149 --> 00:47:03,021
But we fought the odds and built
back up stronger than ever.

950
00:47:03,121 --> 00:47:08,059
Victoria, God rest her
souls, both of them,

951
00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:11,029
left me with a part of
her that gave me strength

952
00:47:11,129 --> 00:47:13,331
during those tough times.

953
00:47:13,431 --> 00:47:17,002
And that part of her
stands before you today.

954
00:47:17,102 --> 00:47:20,972
What a beautiful moment.

955
00:47:21,072 --> 00:47:23,741
As newly-elected
mayor of Tromaville,

956
00:47:23,841 --> 00:47:27,245
it does me proud to
make it my first duty

957
00:47:27,345 --> 00:47:32,483
to present my son, Adlai Smith,
with the key to the city.

958
00:47:33,451 --> 00:47:34,652
Good work, son.

959
00:47:34,752 --> 00:47:36,287
Thank you, Dad.

960
00:47:44,729 --> 00:47:46,464
Yes, go ahead, sir.

961
00:47:46,564 --> 00:47:49,034
Hi, is it true that Adlai is
the cleanest source of power

962
00:47:49,134 --> 00:47:51,169
the nuclear plant has ever used?

963
00:47:51,269 --> 00:47:53,104
Yes, in fact, it
is true, which is

964
00:47:53,204 --> 00:47:55,173
why I've created a
new cabinet post...

965
00:47:55,273 --> 00:47:59,177
Minister of Energy, which Adlai
will be the first to fill.

966
00:47:59,277 --> 00:48:01,646
His main responsibility will
be be to power the reactor

967
00:48:01,746 --> 00:48:04,649
during the day and to
charge its reserve batteries

968
00:48:04,749 --> 00:48:06,851
for the night, giving
us the cleanest

969
00:48:06,952 --> 00:48:08,920
burning Tromaville ever.

970
00:48:16,527 --> 00:48:18,529
Meanwhile, Dr. Slag, PhD

971
00:48:18,629 --> 00:48:21,232
was watching his favorite Toxic
Avenger movie on the Trauma

972
00:48:21,332 --> 00:48:23,468
Afternoon Cinema
Classics Theater

973
00:48:23,568 --> 00:48:26,637
when the news came on showing
Mayor Smith's press conference.

974
00:48:26,737 --> 00:48:28,439
He discovered, much
to his surprise,

975
00:48:28,539 --> 00:48:31,276
that his protege,
Dick, had a twin.

976
00:48:31,376 --> 00:48:34,179
Most of all, I am
proud to receive this big key.

977
00:48:47,993 --> 00:48:50,128
Dick has a twin.

978
00:48:50,228 --> 00:48:52,430
What do you mean,
Dr. Slag, PhD?

979
00:48:52,530 --> 00:48:55,500
I just saw Dick's twin brother
on the six o'clock news.

980
00:48:58,836 --> 00:49:03,674
Well, what are we
going to do now?

981
00:49:03,774 --> 00:49:05,176
Just this.

982
00:49:05,276 --> 00:49:07,878
We know that since Dick is
one half of a set of twins,

983
00:49:07,979 --> 00:49:11,716
there must be the
potential within him

984
00:49:11,816 --> 00:49:14,585
for fuller set of powers.

985
00:49:14,685 --> 00:49:20,992
But only if he's joined with one
whose ability compliments his.

986
00:49:21,092 --> 00:49:23,261
We know that our attempts
to create such a being

987
00:49:23,361 --> 00:49:26,331
have failed consistently.

988
00:49:26,431 --> 00:49:29,267
By the way, what were the
results of the latest attempt?

989
00:49:29,367 --> 00:49:34,305
We ended up with a body-less
head with big metal teeth.

990
00:49:34,405 --> 00:49:37,275
What ability could
he possibly have?

991
00:49:37,375 --> 00:49:41,012
Well, he'd make a pretty
damn good bottle opener.

992
00:49:41,112 --> 00:49:44,549
Remind me to have your
eyeballs lanced in the morning.

993
00:49:44,649 --> 00:49:48,153
Yes, sir, Dr. Slag, PhD.

994
00:49:48,253 --> 00:49:53,058
In any event, if we are to
unleash the potential for power

995
00:49:53,158 --> 00:49:57,728
that rests within Dick,
we have no other choice

996
00:49:57,828 --> 00:50:02,900
but to couple him with the
only one who will ever exist

997
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:06,371
with complimentary powers.

998
00:50:06,471 --> 00:50:15,146
Namely Adlai Smith,
his twin brother.

999
00:50:15,246 --> 00:50:18,549
How are we ever going to
get him to join our ranks?

1000
00:50:18,649 --> 00:50:22,553
I know exactly how.

1001
00:50:22,653 --> 00:50:28,993
Trust me, Professor
Holt. I have a plan.

1002
00:50:29,094 --> 00:50:31,362
I love your plans,
Dr. Slag, PhD.

1003
00:50:41,839 --> 00:50:44,242
Thanks
to the power source in my hand,

1004
00:50:44,342 --> 00:50:46,244
everything was great
again at the Tromaville

1005
00:50:46,344 --> 00:50:47,978
nuclear power facility.

1006
00:50:48,079 --> 00:50:50,481
The power was back, on
the annual festivities

1007
00:50:50,581 --> 00:50:53,284
were celebrated without a
hitch, and the only problem

1008
00:50:53,384 --> 00:50:56,721
was I had to spend half
the day with my hand

1009
00:50:56,821 --> 00:51:00,291
in the nuclear reactor core
sitting on a hard chair

1010
00:51:00,391 --> 00:51:03,361
and was developing some awful
subhumanoid hemorrhoids,

1011
00:51:03,461 --> 00:51:05,563
not to mention a bad
case of the sniffles.

1012
00:51:05,663 --> 00:51:10,268
Hey, Adlai, what do you want
for breakfast in the morning?

1013
00:51:11,035 --> 00:51:11,936
Oh, oh my.

1014
00:51:12,036 --> 00:51:13,371
-Gesundheit.
-Bless you.

1015
00:51:13,471 --> 00:51:14,139
Are you OK?

1016
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:15,706
Gross, that's disgusting.

1017
00:51:15,806 --> 00:51:16,674
Look at him.

1018
00:51:16,774 --> 00:51:17,675
He's taking his hand out.

1019
00:51:17,775 --> 00:51:18,609
Hand's dropping.

1020
00:51:25,049 --> 00:51:25,983
What happened?

1021
00:51:26,083 --> 00:51:27,285
The lights went out.

1022
00:51:27,385 --> 00:51:28,586
Hey, bozo,
put your hand back in.

1023
00:51:28,686 --> 00:51:29,820
Jeez, Adlai,
we're trying to run

1024
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:31,256
a nuclear power plant here.

1025
00:51:31,356 --> 00:51:33,258
All the lights
in Tromaville went out.

1026
00:51:33,358 --> 00:51:35,993
Oh, a little boogie
snot never hurt anyone, Adlai.

1027
00:51:36,093 --> 00:51:38,163
We're counting on
you for the power.

1028
00:51:38,263 --> 00:51:39,697
See you in the morning.

1029
00:51:39,797 --> 00:51:43,768
We'll bring you some of that
low-fat yogurt there, Adlai.

1030
00:51:43,868 --> 00:51:45,170
That boy didn't have to sneeze.

1031
00:51:45,270 --> 00:51:47,138
That was selfish of him.

1032
00:51:52,143 --> 00:51:53,077
Hello?

1033
00:51:53,178 --> 00:51:54,979
Hi, sweetie.

1034
00:51:55,079 --> 00:51:56,981
Hi, beetle bug head.

1035
00:51:57,081 --> 00:51:59,184
Even
though I had to sit there most

1036
00:51:59,284 --> 00:52:01,586
of the day, I did feel
great about the fact

1037
00:52:01,686 --> 00:52:03,421
that the good
students of Tromaville

1038
00:52:03,521 --> 00:52:06,224
were able to go about
their own business

1039
00:52:06,324 --> 00:52:09,794
studying and
preparing for exams.

1040
00:52:09,894 --> 00:52:13,631
But while I was doing
good, Slag was doing bad.

1041
00:52:13,731 --> 00:52:17,034
His plan was to use my
twin brother, Dick, to turn

1042
00:52:17,134 --> 00:52:18,803
the good students against me.

1043
00:52:21,172 --> 00:52:23,274
All right, all
you clones put on your trench

1044
00:52:23,374 --> 00:52:25,610
coats to cover up your
disgusting, mutated

1045
00:52:25,710 --> 00:52:27,412
bodies so that you
won't be noticed

1046
00:52:27,512 --> 00:52:29,247
by the students in the dorm.

1047
00:52:29,347 --> 00:52:31,182
Now, get out of here.

1048
00:52:31,282 --> 00:52:32,550
While I was sitting

1049
00:52:32,650 --> 00:52:34,452
with my hand in
the reactor core,

1050
00:52:34,552 --> 00:52:37,855
Dick was duped by the bad guys
to impersonate me and beat up

1051
00:52:37,955 --> 00:52:39,390
on the good students.

1052
00:52:45,730 --> 00:52:49,066
The students mistook Dick for
me since they had bad eyesight

1053
00:52:49,166 --> 00:52:51,769
and mistook everyone.

1054
00:52:51,869 --> 00:52:54,805
My name was about to be
dragged through isotopic mud.

1055
00:52:54,905 --> 00:52:56,207
Hi, Adlai.

1056
00:52:56,307 --> 00:52:58,142
Hey, Adlai, why'd
you dye your hair black?

1057
00:52:58,243 --> 00:52:59,844
And I know my father wants
me to work here and all,

1058
00:52:59,944 --> 00:53:03,814
but sometimes I think
I'd just rather be some...

1059
00:53:03,914 --> 00:53:05,816
Hey, Adlai.

1060
00:53:09,254 --> 00:53:09,987
Adlai?

1061
00:53:10,087 --> 00:53:11,121
What's got into you?

1062
00:53:11,222 --> 00:53:12,323
Don't choke me.

1063
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:17,695
Yo, Adlai, what gives?

1064
00:53:17,795 --> 00:53:19,530
What's going on?

1065
00:53:19,630 --> 00:53:20,831
Adlai?

1066
00:53:20,931 --> 00:53:22,633
Oh, somebody get me a Kleenex.

1067
00:53:22,733 --> 00:53:23,468
Adlai.

1068
00:53:27,305 --> 00:53:29,073
Oh, stop it, Adlai.

1069
00:53:29,173 --> 00:53:31,309
That's Mr. Adlai, sir, to you.

1070
00:53:31,409 --> 00:53:33,878
And give me 20% of your
allowance from now on.

1071
00:53:33,978 --> 00:53:35,012
Come on, Adlai!

1072
00:53:35,112 --> 00:53:35,846
Go, Adlai!

1073
00:53:35,946 --> 00:53:39,216
Uh, Kleenex?

1074
00:53:39,317 --> 00:53:42,186
Now, students, no
running in the dorm halls.

1075
00:53:42,287 --> 00:53:45,523
Safety first.

1076
00:53:45,623 --> 00:53:48,459
Now I'll choke the guard again.

1077
00:53:48,559 --> 00:53:49,327
Adlai.

1078
00:53:54,799 --> 00:53:56,301
I'm fatter than you.

1079
00:54:02,273 --> 00:54:03,441
You must die.

1080
00:54:03,541 --> 00:54:05,343
I want to have the
worst haircut on campus.

1081
00:54:07,445 --> 00:54:08,846
What's going on here?

1082
00:54:08,946 --> 00:54:10,781
Male chauvinist pigs!

1083
00:54:10,881 --> 00:54:13,551
Oh, she got me.

1084
00:54:13,651 --> 00:54:15,219
You kids should be
doing your homework.

1085
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:18,055
Off with your nuts!

1086
00:54:18,155 --> 00:54:19,590
You got me.

1087
00:54:19,690 --> 00:54:21,859
Campus cop.

1088
00:54:21,959 --> 00:54:24,662
You know the dress code, Adlai.

1089
00:54:24,762 --> 00:54:25,963
Nevermind.

1090
00:54:26,063 --> 00:54:28,032
All bikini girls
back to the truck.

1091
00:54:28,132 --> 00:54:29,199
Your name is Susan?

1092
00:54:29,300 --> 00:54:30,401
Here, Susan.

1093
00:54:30,501 --> 00:54:32,002
That's your boyfriend?

1094
00:54:32,102 --> 00:54:33,371
Take that.

1095
00:54:33,471 --> 00:54:34,572
This is your dog?

1096
00:54:34,672 --> 00:54:36,741
Here.

1097
00:54:36,841 --> 00:54:37,575
Hi, Adlai.

1098
00:54:37,675 --> 00:54:38,409
Oh.

1099
00:54:44,482 --> 00:54:46,116
Why do they call me Adlai?

1100
00:54:46,216 --> 00:54:48,185
Isn't that a girl's name?

1101
00:54:48,285 --> 00:54:50,187
Something fishy
is going on here.

1102
00:54:50,287 --> 00:54:51,456
Watch it, Dick.

1103
00:54:51,556 --> 00:54:53,858
Fish head doesn't like
that kind of talk.

1104
00:54:53,958 --> 00:54:56,827
It's cold out tonight I'd
give anything for a sweater.

1105
00:54:56,927 --> 00:54:57,695
He's cold, Drageddybone.

1106
00:54:58,796 --> 00:55:00,998
I'll warm him up.

1107
00:55:01,098 --> 00:55:04,034
Oh, I love this part.

1108
00:55:04,134 --> 00:55:05,636
Ooh, I'm on fire.

1109
00:55:05,736 --> 00:55:06,804
Oh.
Cut!

1110
00:55:06,904 --> 00:55:07,638
Cut!

1111
00:55:07,738 --> 00:55:08,806
Ow!
Cut!

1112
00:55:08,906 --> 00:55:09,640
Cut!

1113
00:55:09,740 --> 00:55:10,641
I'm on fire.

1114
00:55:10,741 --> 00:55:11,342
I'm on fire!

1115
00:55:11,442 --> 00:55:14,645
Oh, JC, cut, quickly!

1116
00:55:14,745 --> 00:55:15,646
Yeah.

1117
00:55:15,746 --> 00:55:16,481
Yeah.

1118
00:55:19,884 --> 00:55:21,619
Oh, we kicked some
good Tromaville butt.

1119
00:55:34,765 --> 00:55:36,000
I passed out

1120
00:55:36,100 --> 00:55:38,202
from the intensity of
the energy convergence

1121
00:55:38,302 --> 00:55:41,071
of me and my brother.

1122
00:55:41,171 --> 00:55:42,973
So how was work today, honey?

1123
00:55:43,073 --> 00:55:46,276
We had another one of
them plutonium fires today.

1124
00:55:46,377 --> 00:55:47,478
Oh, no.

1125
00:55:47,578 --> 00:55:49,547
Yeah, I feel a
little dizzy, but they

1126
00:55:49,647 --> 00:55:52,650
said I'll be fine, just fine.

1127
00:55:52,750 --> 00:55:54,419
Gosh, are you sure
something like that can't

1128
00:55:54,519 --> 00:55:56,253
mess with your chromagenes?

1129
00:55:56,353 --> 00:55:59,023
Oh, honey, I don't think so.

1130
00:55:59,123 --> 00:56:01,125
Come up here.

1131
00:56:01,225 --> 00:56:01,959
Yeah.

1132
00:56:06,864 --> 00:56:08,599
Gosh, just flip me
like a pancake, baby.

1133
00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:12,102
Shh, shh.

1134
00:56:12,202 --> 00:56:13,438
Jordan, wait.

1135
00:56:13,538 --> 00:56:15,873
I feel so funny being
here in Trish's room.

1136
00:56:15,973 --> 00:56:16,807
Don't worry.

1137
00:56:16,907 --> 00:56:19,810
We got all the
time in the world.

1138
00:56:19,910 --> 00:56:21,612
We got hours.

1139
00:56:21,712 --> 00:56:23,581
We're gonna be here
for a long time, honey.

1140
00:56:23,681 --> 00:56:26,150
We're gonna be here all day.

1141
00:56:26,250 --> 00:56:27,652
If you say so, baby.

1142
00:56:27,752 --> 00:56:32,690
We're gonna... we're gonna,
we're... we're... we're done.

1143
00:56:32,790 --> 00:56:33,691
We're done?

1144
00:56:33,791 --> 00:56:35,693
Yeah.

1145
00:56:35,793 --> 00:56:36,661
Oh, thanks.

1146
00:56:40,264 --> 00:56:41,398
Gosh, Trish.

1147
00:56:41,499 --> 00:56:42,833
I tell you it was
the nuttiest thing.

1148
00:56:42,933 --> 00:56:44,869
I was just sitting there,
and all of a sudden

1149
00:56:44,969 --> 00:56:46,904
it was like I could picture
that massacre in the dorm

1150
00:56:47,004 --> 00:56:49,574
like it was happening
right in front of me.

1151
00:56:49,674 --> 00:56:53,478
And the funniest thing is it
was like I was doing it myself,

1152
00:56:53,578 --> 00:56:56,614
or like another part of
me was out there doing it.

1153
00:56:56,714 --> 00:57:00,184
Well, maybe it has something
to do with that power of yours.

1154
00:57:00,284 --> 00:57:02,920
Like, maybe you're psychic too.

1155
00:57:03,020 --> 00:57:04,154
Psychic?

1156
00:57:04,254 --> 00:57:05,690
Jeez.

1157
00:57:05,790 --> 00:57:09,393
But I never had any experiences
like that my life before.

1158
00:57:09,494 --> 00:57:11,529
Anyway, there's one
thing I don't need

1159
00:57:11,629 --> 00:57:13,430
any psychic ability to know.

1160
00:57:13,531 --> 00:57:15,600
What's that?

1161
00:57:15,700 --> 00:57:18,302
That I love you, Trish.

1162
00:57:19,403 --> 00:57:20,137
Oh, sorry.

1163
00:57:23,373 --> 00:57:24,875
Tell me you love me, baby.

1164
00:57:24,975 --> 00:57:26,276
Oh, go ahead.

1165
00:57:26,376 --> 00:57:27,845
Spit it out.

1166
00:57:40,691 --> 00:57:41,992
there's a movement

1167
00:57:42,092 --> 00:57:45,996
spreading across the land
and everywhere you roam.

1168
00:57:46,096 --> 00:57:50,635
It's a mighty wave of jobless
folks and people without homes.

1169
00:57:50,735 --> 00:57:54,639
And you may not have yet felt
the touch of this new age

1170
00:57:54,739 --> 00:57:55,940
sweeping through.

1171
00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:57,775
But I'm here today to
tell you, my friend,

1172
00:57:57,875 --> 00:57:59,877
you can drop your worries.

1173
00:57:59,977 --> 00:58:01,111
Be homeless too.

1174
00:58:01,211 --> 00:58:04,248
So let's thank the Nukemama
Corporation for creating

1175
00:58:04,348 --> 00:58:05,916
this path we now walk upon.

1176
00:58:06,016 --> 00:58:08,052
May me acheive the
enlightened path of homeless.

1177
00:58:08,152 --> 00:58:11,121
So they can get rid of
us and drop the bomb.

1178
00:58:13,090 --> 00:58:16,426
You know, I used
to think when I saw,

1179
00:58:16,527 --> 00:58:23,067
like, homeless people wandering
around with no food, no money,

1180
00:58:23,167 --> 00:58:26,937
I used to go, that's stupid.

1181
00:58:27,037 --> 00:58:29,940
And then I thought,
well, wait a second.

1182
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:32,677
Maybe they don't have a home
and they don't have any money.

1183
00:58:32,777 --> 00:58:36,013
So that's not so stupid.

1184
00:58:36,113 --> 00:58:41,652
So that is the reason why we,
the students of Troma Tech

1185
00:58:41,752 --> 00:58:43,220
are here tonight.

1186
00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:44,855
To make a stand.

1187
00:58:44,955 --> 00:58:48,158
We are going to suffer with
you each and every night.

1188
00:58:48,258 --> 00:58:53,698
No longer are we going to listen
to our stereos, our music,

1189
00:58:53,798 --> 00:58:56,601
listen to our telephones,
go to our fridge

1190
00:58:56,701 --> 00:58:58,603
with our abundance of food.

1191
00:58:58,703 --> 00:59:00,137
Rodeo Drive Pizza delivery!

1192
00:59:00,237 --> 00:59:01,038
Oh, boy, I'm famished.

1193
00:59:01,138 --> 00:59:01,672
Pizza's here.

1194
00:59:01,772 --> 00:59:04,775
That'll be $225.50.

1195
00:59:04,875 --> 00:59:06,476
We got the sundried tomatoes.

1196
00:59:06,577 --> 00:59:07,578
Mine's with shittake mushroom.

1197
00:59:07,678 --> 00:59:09,113
I've got the tuna steak.

1198
00:59:11,982 --> 00:59:15,419
Oh, no, I wanted Petrossian
caviar, not beluga!

1199
00:59:20,457 --> 00:59:22,059
Watch out!

1200
00:59:25,062 --> 00:59:25,796
Kick his ass!

1201
00:59:41,511 --> 00:59:42,980
And boy, if I could
only figure out...

1202
00:59:46,751 --> 00:59:48,185
No, not my arm.

1203
00:59:48,285 --> 00:59:50,120
Please, don't!

1204
00:59:50,220 --> 00:59:52,056
No!

1205
00:59:55,425 --> 00:59:56,627
I asked you not my arm.

1206
00:59:59,263 --> 00:59:59,997
Look out!

1207
01:00:00,097 --> 01:00:01,766
The dragon bone.

1208
01:00:01,866 --> 01:00:04,368
Adlai, what's the matter?

1209
01:00:04,468 --> 01:00:06,937
Burn him.

1210
01:00:07,037 --> 01:00:08,906
Burn him.

1211
01:00:09,006 --> 01:00:09,907
I'm on fire!

1212
01:00:10,007 --> 01:00:10,540
Ah!

1213
01:00:10,641 --> 01:00:11,676
I'm on fire!

1214
01:00:11,776 --> 01:00:13,277
Stay away from the fence.

1215
01:00:13,377 --> 01:00:14,411
It's electrified!

1216
01:00:14,511 --> 01:00:15,245
Aah!

1217
01:00:15,345 --> 01:00:16,080
It's electrified!

1218
01:00:16,180 --> 01:00:17,447
I forgot!

1219
01:00:17,547 --> 01:00:20,150
I'm going to smash your
head until your brain oozes

1220
01:00:20,250 --> 01:00:21,418
through my fingers.

1221
01:00:21,518 --> 01:00:22,252
No!

1222
01:00:25,455 --> 01:00:26,190
No!

1223
01:00:31,996 --> 01:00:32,730
No!

1224
01:00:53,884 --> 01:00:55,085
Let's get out of here.

1225
01:00:55,185 --> 01:00:56,653
Let's go to the
grocery store and get

1226
01:00:56,754 --> 01:00:57,955
some marshmallows to roast.

1227
01:01:21,211 --> 01:01:22,980
Damn, I don't
know what got into me.

1228
01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:24,681
I had this college
punk by the throat,

1229
01:01:24,782 --> 01:01:27,317
ready to put my fist
through his face.

1230
01:01:27,417 --> 01:01:29,553
I mean, I could
practically feel his brains

1231
01:01:29,653 --> 01:01:31,088
oozing through my fingers.

1232
01:01:31,188 --> 01:01:32,022
What a wimp.

1233
01:01:35,059 --> 01:01:37,261
I'm telling
you I couldn't wait.

1234
01:01:37,361 --> 01:01:38,262
It's OK.

1235
01:01:38,362 --> 01:01:39,696
Don't worry about it.

1236
01:01:39,797 --> 01:01:42,566
You subhumanoid putz.

1237
01:01:42,666 --> 01:01:45,903
And all of a
sudden, it was like

1238
01:01:46,003 --> 01:01:47,471
another person was inside me...

1239
01:01:47,571 --> 01:01:48,773
No spine.

1240
01:01:48,873 --> 01:01:50,841
...telling me not to do it.

1241
01:01:50,941 --> 01:01:53,744
Listen, I've seen
this dozens of times.

1242
01:01:53,844 --> 01:01:55,813
Boy, when I was in
the Special Forces,

1243
01:01:55,913 --> 01:01:57,982
I used to hide the food locker.

1244
01:01:58,082 --> 01:01:59,549
I don't want to hear
your damn war stories.

1245
01:01:59,649 --> 01:02:02,386
They bore me.

1246
01:02:02,486 --> 01:02:04,654
Don't worry, kid.

1247
01:02:04,755 --> 01:02:06,723
You did just fine.

1248
01:02:11,962 --> 01:02:13,230
I take it back, Dick.

1249
01:02:13,330 --> 01:02:17,001
I'm sorry I called
you a subhumanoid putz.

1250
01:02:17,101 --> 01:02:17,835
Cheer up.

1251
01:02:21,171 --> 01:02:22,506
Your
attention, please.

1252
01:02:22,606 --> 01:02:23,707
All points bulletin.

1253
01:02:23,808 --> 01:02:25,342
Be on the lookout
for Adlai Smith.

1254
01:02:25,442 --> 01:02:27,644
He's believed to be armed
and dangerous and wearing

1255
01:02:27,744 --> 01:02:28,946
a smelly black jacket.

1256
01:02:32,316 --> 01:02:35,019
Now, class, you all have copies
of the report, which gives us

1257
01:02:35,119 --> 01:02:37,287
reason to believe that
Adlai Smith led last night's

1258
01:02:37,387 --> 01:02:39,924
vicious attack on the good,
innocent homeless people

1259
01:02:40,024 --> 01:02:42,827
of Tromaville, killing
and injuring 25 people.

1260
01:02:42,927 --> 01:02:44,328
Much worse, he
dyed his hair black

1261
01:02:44,428 --> 01:02:48,132
and wore an ugly black suit
with a skull on the back.

1262
01:02:48,232 --> 01:02:51,701
I believe it's now time for you,
the good students of Tromaville

1263
01:02:51,802 --> 01:02:54,104
to go on the attack.

1264
01:02:54,204 --> 01:02:54,738
Not me!

1265
01:02:54,839 --> 01:02:55,572
Not me!

1266
01:02:55,672 --> 01:02:56,540
Not me!

1267
01:02:59,910 --> 01:03:01,478
So I said, go ahead,
eat the penguin.

1268
01:03:01,578 --> 01:03:02,612
That
-Oh, George!

1269
01:03:02,712 --> 01:03:03,647
George!

1270
01:03:03,747 --> 01:03:05,715
Can I speak to you for a minute?

1271
01:03:05,816 --> 01:03:08,285
Alone?

1272
01:03:08,385 --> 01:03:10,454
Sure, what's up?

1273
01:03:10,554 --> 01:03:13,290
I'm pregnant.

1274
01:03:13,390 --> 01:03:14,658
Who's the lucky fella?

1275
01:03:14,758 --> 01:03:16,726
Well, you are.

1276
01:03:16,827 --> 01:03:17,594
There's no way.

1277
01:03:17,694 --> 01:03:18,829
That's impossible.

1278
01:03:18,929 --> 01:03:19,997
Oh, you're the
father of my child.

1279
01:03:20,097 --> 01:03:22,599
I haven't made love
to anybody else.

1280
01:03:22,699 --> 01:03:24,168
You can't have a baby now.

1281
01:03:24,268 --> 01:03:27,204
I... I got my career
at the plant.

1282
01:03:27,304 --> 01:03:28,272
I got school.

1283
01:03:28,372 --> 01:03:30,807
You know, I got another
little boyfriend.

1284
01:03:30,908 --> 01:03:33,443
You're just going to
have to have an abortion.

1285
01:03:33,543 --> 01:03:35,045
That's all there is to it.

1286
01:03:35,145 --> 01:03:37,714
But I'll tell you what... and
I think I'm a heck of a guy

1287
01:03:37,814 --> 01:03:39,917
for even suggesting this.

1288
01:03:40,017 --> 01:03:42,219
I'll give you a ride
down to the free clinic.

1289
01:03:42,319 --> 01:03:42,920
You will, George?

1290
01:03:43,020 --> 01:03:44,521
Gosh, you're so sweet.

1291
01:03:44,621 --> 01:03:46,423
Yeah, that's what they all say.

1292
01:03:46,523 --> 01:03:47,892
I'll see you tomorrow.

1293
01:03:47,992 --> 01:03:49,459
Because of what my evil twin was

1294
01:03:49,559 --> 01:03:51,695
doing, all of the good
students of Tromaville

1295
01:03:51,795 --> 01:03:52,863
turned against me.

1296
01:03:52,963 --> 01:03:54,865
Only Trish was true blue.

1297
01:03:54,965 --> 01:03:57,267
I was the luckiest guy
on the face of the Earth.

1298
01:03:57,367 --> 01:04:00,170
Gosh, Trish, even though you
were able to tell the police I

1299
01:04:00,270 --> 01:04:02,973
was with you when those homeless
supporters were attacked,

1300
01:04:03,073 --> 01:04:05,876
I think that guy's story has
hurt my reputation a bit.

1301
01:04:05,976 --> 01:04:07,912
Listen, I won't have you
knocking yourself for things

1302
01:04:08,012 --> 01:04:09,113
that you didn't do.

1303
01:04:09,213 --> 01:04:10,414
Yeah, but what's
really got me worried

1304
01:04:10,514 --> 01:04:12,749
is what all this is
going to mean to my dad.

1305
01:04:12,849 --> 01:04:14,184
I mean, the first thing
he does as mayor is

1306
01:04:14,284 --> 01:04:16,086
appoint me to a cabinet post.

1307
01:04:16,186 --> 01:04:17,554
And now his own
son is considered

1308
01:04:17,654 --> 01:04:20,390
to be, like, the worst criminal
in Tromaville's history.

1309
01:04:20,490 --> 01:04:22,559
Soon they'll catch this
maniac and you won't

1310
01:04:22,659 --> 01:04:24,461
have anything to worry about.

1311
01:04:24,561 --> 01:04:26,730
Don't worry, all the
students love you, Adlai.

1312
01:04:26,830 --> 01:04:27,597
There he is!

1313
01:04:28,999 --> 01:04:31,135
Hey, why don't you shut
down the power plant

1314
01:04:31,235 --> 01:04:33,070
and save yourself
some trouble of having

1315
01:04:33,170 --> 01:04:34,871
to kill us all personally?

1316
01:04:34,972 --> 01:04:36,740
Stop Adlai now!

1317
01:04:36,840 --> 01:04:38,708
Stop Adlai now.

1318
01:04:44,881 --> 01:04:46,350
Come in, Dick.

1319
01:04:46,450 --> 01:04:48,552
This is Dr. Slag, PhD.

1320
01:04:48,652 --> 01:04:51,922
If you can hear me through
the radio speaker in your ear,

1321
01:04:52,022 --> 01:04:55,625
punch the guy in the
orange suit in the face.

1322
01:04:57,361 --> 01:05:00,130
Now you are going to do
everything that I tell you.

1323
01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:01,831
Everyone, go into
the grocery store

1324
01:05:01,932 --> 01:05:03,033
and act like normal shoppers.

1325
01:05:03,133 --> 01:05:04,168
Even though it

1326
01:05:04,268 --> 01:05:05,702
seemed that Dick
was my evil twin,

1327
01:05:05,802 --> 01:05:07,037
it turned out that he wasn't.

1328
01:05:07,137 --> 01:05:09,339
He was just a tool
of Dr. Slag, PhD.

1329
01:05:09,439 --> 01:05:12,642
And Professor Holt, programmed
to wreak havoc on Tromaville

1330
01:05:12,742 --> 01:05:14,178
and tarnish my reputation.

1331
01:05:14,278 --> 01:05:15,845
Now, Dick, your mission is

1332
01:05:15,946 --> 01:05:17,781
to wreak havoc on Tromaville.

1333
01:05:17,881 --> 01:05:20,684
When I give the signal, you
will destroy the grocery store.

1334
01:05:20,784 --> 01:05:24,121
Oh, and while you're there, pick
me up a six pack of Troma beer.

1335
01:05:24,221 --> 01:05:26,256
If you need to say
anything to me,

1336
01:05:26,356 --> 01:05:28,058
speak into the
little toxic avenger

1337
01:05:28,158 --> 01:05:29,726
lapel microphone I gave you.

1338
01:05:29,826 --> 01:05:32,196
And whatever you do, make
sure you look into the store's

1339
01:05:32,296 --> 01:05:33,863
closed circuit TV cameras.

1340
01:05:33,964 --> 01:05:35,199
But I don't understand.

1341
01:05:35,299 --> 01:05:36,666
It doesn't make any
sense for me to show

1342
01:05:36,766 --> 01:05:38,068
my face into the camera.

1343
01:05:38,168 --> 01:05:39,970
I thought the idea was
to terrorize this town

1344
01:05:40,070 --> 01:05:41,571
and not let anyone
know who it is.

1345
01:05:41,671 --> 01:05:43,273
Listen, you have your orders.

1346
01:05:43,373 --> 01:05:44,441
So go to it.

1347
01:05:44,541 --> 01:05:46,576
Stop challenging the
wisdom of your superiors.

1348
01:05:46,676 --> 01:05:48,112
Sir, yes sir.

1349
01:05:48,212 --> 01:05:50,214
Now, attack!

1350
01:05:51,081 --> 01:05:52,149
Oh, my!

1351
01:05:54,884 --> 01:05:55,652
Ooh, clone fever!

1352
01:06:04,428 --> 01:06:05,295
Need a hand?

1353
01:06:05,395 --> 01:06:06,163
Here!

1354
01:06:28,752 --> 01:06:32,889
The good,
the bad, the subhumanoid.

1355
01:06:32,989 --> 01:06:36,726
It's the latest movie
from Mackle and Lloyd.

1356
01:06:38,195 --> 01:06:38,995
Hello?

1357
01:06:39,096 --> 01:06:40,197
Hello, son.

1358
01:06:40,297 --> 01:06:41,898
Hi, it's your dad, the mayor.

1359
01:06:41,998 --> 01:06:43,367
Hi, Dad.

1360
01:06:43,467 --> 01:06:46,603
Dad, your respect is everything
to me, and I love you.

1361
01:06:46,703 --> 01:06:48,038
And I love you too.

1362
01:06:48,138 --> 01:06:49,406
Dad, that
guy in the black jacket

1363
01:06:49,506 --> 01:06:52,209
wreaking havoc on
Tromaville... that's not me!

1364
01:06:52,309 --> 01:06:54,111
Well, that's what I was
meaning to talk to you about.

1365
01:06:54,211 --> 01:06:55,545
Dad, I'm being framed.

1366
01:06:55,645 --> 01:06:56,613
Don't you believe me?

1367
01:06:56,713 --> 01:06:58,148
Of course I believe
you, but the problem

1368
01:06:58,248 --> 01:06:59,783
is no one else was
with you at the time

1369
01:06:59,883 --> 01:07:02,086
besides that
girlfriend of yours,

1370
01:07:02,186 --> 01:07:04,454
the one that used to
be your wet nurse.

1371
01:07:04,554 --> 01:07:07,724
I am the mayor, and as such I
will be able to keep the police

1372
01:07:07,824 --> 01:07:09,493
off your back for
the time being,

1373
01:07:09,593 --> 01:07:11,261
at least until they
find some evidence.

1374
01:07:11,361 --> 01:07:12,396
Evidence?

1375
01:07:12,496 --> 01:07:13,630
The way you're
talking, it sounds

1376
01:07:13,730 --> 01:07:14,998
like you don't even trust me.

1377
01:07:15,099 --> 01:07:16,500
Well, yes, I trust you.

1378
01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:18,435
Well, you know I've only
been alive for two years,

1379
01:07:18,535 --> 01:07:20,204
so you really don't
know me that long.

1380
01:07:20,304 --> 01:07:22,139
Of course I don't, but
it did look like you

1381
01:07:22,239 --> 01:07:24,908
in the grocery store on that
videotape with black hair

1382
01:07:25,008 --> 01:07:26,376
and a tasteless leather jacket.

1383
01:07:26,476 --> 01:07:28,212
I mean, I wouldn't stake
my political career

1384
01:07:28,312 --> 01:07:29,479
on your innocence.

1385
01:07:29,579 --> 01:07:30,814
You don't believe me!

1386
01:07:30,914 --> 01:07:32,449
No, no, I didn't
mean it like that.

1387
01:07:32,549 --> 01:07:35,152
Listen, I think it would
be best for both of us

1388
01:07:35,252 --> 01:07:36,953
if you just took some
time off and sort

1389
01:07:37,053 --> 01:07:38,488
of laid low for a while.

1390
01:07:38,588 --> 01:07:40,424
You know I can arrange
it with your dean.

1391
01:07:40,524 --> 01:07:41,658
Thanks, Dad.

1392
01:07:41,758 --> 01:07:43,093
But I'm going to try to
figure things out on my own.

1393
01:07:43,193 --> 01:07:44,894
What if I give you a call later?

1394
01:07:44,994 --> 01:07:46,830
OK, son, call me later.

1395
01:07:46,930 --> 01:07:47,964
No, wait.

1396
01:07:48,064 --> 01:07:49,233
Better let me call you.

1397
01:07:49,333 --> 01:07:50,600
I'll do it from a
payphone or something

1398
01:07:50,700 --> 01:07:53,570
so they can't trace
the call back to me.

1399
01:07:53,670 --> 01:07:55,505
All right, bye.

1400
01:07:55,605 --> 01:07:57,641
All right, goodbye.

1401
01:07:57,741 --> 01:07:59,409
Even though I was innocent,

1402
01:07:59,509 --> 01:08:01,711
I didn't want to hurt
my father's reputation.

1403
01:08:01,811 --> 01:08:04,148
So I decided to pack my
bags and moved to east

1404
01:08:04,248 --> 01:08:06,750
Tromaville and go into hiding.

1405
01:08:08,152 --> 01:08:09,586
Mr. Smith?

1406
01:08:09,686 --> 01:08:10,987
Can I help you, sir?

1407
01:08:11,087 --> 01:08:13,423
Yes, I think you can.

1408
01:08:13,523 --> 01:08:17,561
I want to talk to you about the
crime you've been accused of.

1409
01:08:17,661 --> 01:08:18,995
Oh, another reporter.

1410
01:08:19,095 --> 01:08:20,364
Well, you know I maintain
that I'm innocent

1411
01:08:20,464 --> 01:08:22,832
and I have nothing more to say.

1412
01:08:22,932 --> 01:08:24,434
And I think you have to leave.

1413
01:08:24,534 --> 01:08:26,102
No, no, no.

1414
01:08:26,203 --> 01:08:28,172
I believe that you're innocent.

1415
01:08:28,272 --> 01:08:30,574
I represent a branch of
the Justice Department

1416
01:08:30,674 --> 01:08:35,979
that deals in cases like
yours, so I want to help.

1417
01:08:36,079 --> 01:08:37,681
You really think I'm innocent?

1418
01:08:37,781 --> 01:08:39,183
I know it for a fact.

1419
01:08:42,919 --> 01:08:45,155
What do you want?

1420
01:08:45,255 --> 01:08:47,090
It's not what I want.

1421
01:08:47,191 --> 01:08:48,525
It's what you want.

1422
01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:51,161
With that all-American image
you built for yourself,

1423
01:08:51,261 --> 01:08:53,129
I think there's probably
nothing you want more

1424
01:08:53,230 --> 01:08:56,132
than to clear your good name.

1425
01:08:56,233 --> 01:08:59,403
Think about it.

1426
01:08:59,503 --> 01:09:01,571
All the good you've done.

1427
01:09:01,671 --> 01:09:06,376
Helping the homeless,
fighting bigotry,

1428
01:09:06,476 --> 01:09:10,280
staying faithful to your
girlfriend, and, of course,

1429
01:09:10,380 --> 01:09:11,715
saving the boll weevil.

1430
01:09:11,815 --> 01:09:14,751
Look, you leave the
weevil out of this.

1431
01:09:14,851 --> 01:09:17,554
Well, you'd hate for
the Boll Weevil Society

1432
01:09:17,654 --> 01:09:19,856
to strike your name
from its records

1433
01:09:19,956 --> 01:09:22,792
just because some psychopath
committed some crimes

1434
01:09:22,892 --> 01:09:24,228
and blamed them on you.

1435
01:09:24,328 --> 01:09:26,162
Please, please, no more.

1436
01:09:26,263 --> 01:09:29,733
I'm offering you a
chance to redeem yourself.

1437
01:09:29,833 --> 01:09:31,668
Don't you want that?

1438
01:09:31,768 --> 01:09:33,270
Well, yes, but how?

1439
01:09:33,370 --> 01:09:36,273
You have a special power,
but you never dreamed

1440
01:09:36,373 --> 01:09:39,643
how really special it can be.

1441
01:09:39,743 --> 01:09:43,547
Come work for me, and
I'll show you how.

1442
01:09:43,647 --> 01:09:47,451
As long as you do what I ask.

1443
01:09:47,551 --> 01:09:49,319
Like what?

1444
01:09:49,419 --> 01:09:52,622
Now this is where we
have to be open minded.

1445
01:09:52,722 --> 01:09:56,560
The plan I have in mind might
involve turning the entire town

1446
01:09:56,660 --> 01:09:59,028
of Tromaville, and
probably the surrounding

1447
01:09:59,128 --> 01:10:04,301
areas like New York City, to
a puddle of radioactive slag.

1448
01:10:04,401 --> 01:10:05,902
Are you serious?

1449
01:10:06,002 --> 01:10:09,939
We could always try to evacuate
the areas first, although we

1450
01:10:10,039 --> 01:10:11,908
probably won't bother.

1451
01:10:12,008 --> 01:10:13,443
You are serious!

1452
01:10:13,543 --> 01:10:16,045
Well, you've got me all
wrong, pal, because I'll never

1453
01:10:16,145 --> 01:10:18,515
use my power to
cause harm to anyone,

1454
01:10:18,615 --> 01:10:21,217
even if I have to live in
disgrace the rest of my life.

1455
01:10:24,187 --> 01:10:25,589
I was afraid you'd say that.

1456
01:10:25,689 --> 01:10:27,056
Bring in the clones.

1457
01:10:27,156 --> 01:10:28,325
Bring in the clones.

1458
01:10:28,425 --> 01:10:31,495
OK, we'll have to
do this the hard way.

1459
01:10:40,203 --> 01:10:41,305
Take him to the hideout.

1460
01:10:48,011 --> 01:10:50,213
Because
of her exposure to the remnants

1461
01:10:50,314 --> 01:10:52,382
of the subhumanoid
meltdown syndrome,

1462
01:10:52,482 --> 01:10:54,884
Elaina's pregnancy
proceeded rapidly.

1463
01:10:54,984 --> 01:10:56,520
Aloha.

1464
01:10:56,620 --> 01:10:59,389
George, aren't you
going to come with me?

1465
01:10:59,489 --> 01:11:03,026
Honey, I got a
reputation to think of.

1466
01:11:03,126 --> 01:11:06,963
OK, I guess I understand.

1467
01:11:07,063 --> 01:11:08,565
Wish me luck?

1468
01:11:08,665 --> 01:11:10,133
You give 'em hell, sweetheart.

1469
01:11:10,233 --> 01:11:11,568
Break a leg.

1470
01:11:11,668 --> 01:11:12,702
OK.

1471
01:11:12,802 --> 01:11:13,337
Don't do it.

1472
01:11:13,437 --> 01:11:14,338
Don't kill it.

1473
01:11:14,438 --> 01:11:15,739
Let him live!

1474
01:11:15,839 --> 01:11:17,140
Don't kill it!

1475
01:11:17,240 --> 01:11:18,107
Don't kill it!

1476
01:11:18,207 --> 01:11:20,109
Please, let me in.

1477
01:11:23,313 --> 01:11:25,048
Hey, look at that
bird up there!

1478
01:11:25,148 --> 01:11:26,783
I-I gotta have an abortion!

1479
01:11:26,883 --> 01:11:27,617
Don't kill it!

1480
01:11:27,717 --> 01:11:28,485
Don't kill it!

1481
01:11:28,585 --> 01:11:30,086
-Don't kill it!
-Don't kill it!

1482
01:11:30,186 --> 01:11:30,987
Don't kill it!

1483
01:11:31,087 --> 01:11:32,589
Don't kill it!

1484
01:11:32,689 --> 01:11:33,957
Oh, my God.

1485
01:11:34,057 --> 01:11:37,961
I'm going into labor!

1486
01:11:38,061 --> 01:11:40,897
Please, my baby's coming out.

1487
01:11:47,637 --> 01:11:48,304
Oh, no.

1488
01:11:48,405 --> 01:11:50,273
Here it comes!

1489
01:11:57,881 --> 01:11:59,148
Kill it!

1490
01:11:59,248 --> 01:12:00,116
Kill it!

1491
01:12:00,216 --> 01:12:01,851
Kill it!

1492
01:12:01,951 --> 01:12:03,620
Here comes Trish now.

1493
01:12:03,720 --> 01:12:07,123
By now all the good people of
Tromaville were against me.

1494
01:12:07,223 --> 01:12:08,825
Even my father doubted me.

1495
01:12:08,925 --> 01:12:12,261
And in the end, only
Trish was still behind me.

1496
01:12:13,630 --> 01:12:15,565
But while I was locked
up in the hideout,

1497
01:12:15,665 --> 01:12:18,201
my twin brother was sent
to impersonate me and make

1498
01:12:18,301 --> 01:12:20,303
the moves on my one true love.

1499
01:12:20,404 --> 01:12:21,471
Zoom in on her heiny.

1500
01:12:21,571 --> 01:12:22,872
The director loves those shots.

1501
01:12:22,972 --> 01:12:24,441
Professor Holt,

1502
01:12:24,541 --> 01:12:26,610
ever the master of
disguises, was on the scene

1503
01:12:26,710 --> 01:12:30,079
live with a clone video crew.

1504
01:12:30,179 --> 01:12:31,415
Adlai, are you crazy?

1505
01:12:31,515 --> 01:12:33,282
Everyone's turned
against you, and they're

1506
01:12:33,383 --> 01:12:35,151
still going to recognize
you in that black jacket

1507
01:12:35,251 --> 01:12:36,686
and black hair.

1508
01:12:36,786 --> 01:12:39,088
What are you doing
out in the open?

1509
01:12:39,188 --> 01:12:41,124
You're supposed to stay out
of sight until this murder

1510
01:12:41,224 --> 01:12:42,426
thing blows over.

1511
01:12:42,526 --> 01:12:44,761
I know, I, uh...

1512
01:12:44,861 --> 01:12:48,264
Well, it was pretty brave of
you to come out in the open

1513
01:12:48,364 --> 01:12:51,601
where everybody hates
you just to see me.

1514
01:12:51,701 --> 01:12:53,570
I didn't think you
did those things.

1515
01:12:53,670 --> 01:12:56,473
Well, I didn't know
anybody knew I was.

1516
01:12:56,573 --> 01:12:58,041
You're so modest.

1517
01:12:58,141 --> 01:13:00,977
You know, I really do miss that.

1518
01:13:04,414 --> 01:13:05,549
What happened to your forehead?

1519
01:13:08,518 --> 01:13:10,487
I cut myself shaving.

1520
01:13:10,587 --> 01:13:11,488
Well, come on.

1521
01:13:11,588 --> 01:13:14,924
Let's get you out of sight.

1522
01:13:15,024 --> 01:13:17,260
Wait till Adlai
sees these videos of Trish

1523
01:13:17,360 --> 01:13:20,664
with his big twin Dick.

1524
01:13:20,764 --> 01:13:22,265
When Dr. Slag, PhD

1525
01:13:22,365 --> 01:13:24,100
informed me that I
had a twin brother,

1526
01:13:24,200 --> 01:13:27,303
I was really tied up in knots.

1527
01:13:27,403 --> 01:13:30,373
I think the idea of me having
a twin brother is ridiculous,

1528
01:13:30,474 --> 01:13:32,576
especially one that
has a power like mine.

1529
01:13:32,676 --> 01:13:37,180
Well, it's not precisely like
yours, although it is similar.

1530
01:13:37,280 --> 01:13:41,618
However, our research shows
that the two of you in tandem

1531
01:13:41,718 --> 01:13:46,456
have the astounding ability
to turn inert objects

1532
01:13:46,556 --> 01:13:48,958
into radioactive ones.

1533
01:13:49,058 --> 01:13:52,996
Just think about
terrorist organizations

1534
01:13:53,096 --> 01:13:58,234
paying us to turn a few hundred
pounds of sand into plutonium.

1535
01:13:58,334 --> 01:13:59,536
You don't understand.

1536
01:13:59,636 --> 01:14:01,538
I'll never go along
with a plan like that,

1537
01:14:01,638 --> 01:14:03,673
especially if it involves
destroying Tromaville.

1538
01:14:07,477 --> 01:14:10,547
Ooh, the place I
love most on Earth.

1539
01:14:10,647 --> 01:14:13,116
Check focus
on her melon-heavy breasts.

1540
01:14:19,556 --> 01:14:21,725
Gee, Adlai, those
boll weevil fundraisers

1541
01:14:21,825 --> 01:14:23,593
haven't been the
same without you.

1542
01:14:23,693 --> 01:14:25,294
And there's one other
thing I miss too.

1543
01:14:25,394 --> 01:14:28,097
And now I know you can't be
giving up a day of homework

1544
01:14:28,197 --> 01:14:30,399
for a day of passion.

1545
01:14:36,005 --> 01:14:38,074
Claire?

1546
01:14:38,174 --> 01:14:40,243
Wrong movie, Toxie.

1547
01:14:40,343 --> 01:14:41,778
Where were we?

1548
01:14:41,878 --> 01:14:43,379
Trish
had mistaken my twin Dick

1549
01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:46,149
for me and was so upset about
the bruises on my twin's face

1550
01:14:46,249 --> 01:14:49,018
that she did what came
naturally and comforted him

1551
01:14:49,118 --> 01:14:52,021
the only way she knew how.

1552
01:14:55,191 --> 01:14:58,628
I've already lobotomized
your twin brother.

1553
01:14:58,728 --> 01:15:02,899
Perhaps I might have to
do the same with you.

1554
01:15:02,999 --> 01:15:06,335
Of course, we could always
torture your girlfriend

1555
01:15:06,435 --> 01:15:07,904
in front of you.

1556
01:15:08,004 --> 01:15:11,074
That usually seems to
work in cases like this.

1557
01:15:11,174 --> 01:15:12,175
I don't have a twin.

1558
01:15:12,275 --> 01:15:13,509
And leave Trish out of this.

1559
01:15:13,610 --> 01:15:16,680
Of course I will try to
leave her out of this.

1560
01:15:16,780 --> 01:15:21,084
We just have to figure a way
to leave your twin out of her.

1561
01:15:21,184 --> 01:15:22,586
What do you mean?

1562
01:15:22,686 --> 01:15:23,620
Take a look.

1563
01:15:28,892 --> 01:15:31,527
And now, live from
Trish's sweat-stained bed

1564
01:15:31,628 --> 01:15:33,630
sheets, we bring
you Trish herself

1565
01:15:33,730 --> 01:15:37,166
and your very own twin Dick.

1566
01:15:41,537 --> 01:15:42,672
You're being so rough.

1567
01:15:42,772 --> 01:15:44,841
I've never known
you to be like this.

1568
01:15:44,941 --> 01:15:48,311
You bring out the
beast in me, Adlai.

1569
01:15:48,411 --> 01:15:50,213
I never felt this way before.

1570
01:15:52,548 --> 01:15:53,282
Oh, my God.

1571
01:15:53,382 --> 01:15:54,450
It is true.

1572
01:15:57,553 --> 01:16:01,825
Remember,
this is live.

1573
01:16:01,925 --> 01:16:03,459
Oh, yes!

1574
01:16:03,559 --> 01:16:05,762
Oh.

1575
01:16:05,862 --> 01:16:06,596
Oh.

1576
01:16:09,465 --> 01:16:11,601
I love this show.

1577
01:16:11,701 --> 01:16:13,937
I'm going to get you for this.

1578
01:16:14,037 --> 01:16:18,975
My, my, the nicest boy in the
world is getting a bit testy.

1579
01:16:19,075 --> 01:16:21,177
I had to
resort to drastic measures.

1580
01:16:21,277 --> 01:16:24,714
As much as I hated to do it and
had avoided it for seven reels,

1581
01:16:24,814 --> 01:16:27,050
I decided that now,
after 45 minutes

1582
01:16:27,150 --> 01:16:28,051
of not doing it at all...

1583
01:16:28,151 --> 01:16:29,786
What... what's
that you're doing?

1584
01:16:29,886 --> 01:16:32,255
- I
- would use my brain.

1585
01:16:39,863 --> 01:16:42,666
I must get this message
across to Dick, from my brain

1586
01:16:42,766 --> 01:16:44,267
to his brain.

1587
01:16:44,367 --> 01:16:45,101
Yes.

1588
01:16:45,201 --> 01:16:48,004
Oh, yes!

1589
01:16:48,104 --> 01:16:50,974
Adlai, oh.

1590
01:16:51,074 --> 01:16:52,575
Dick was slow to react

1591
01:16:52,676 --> 01:16:54,811
since his bodily functions
were already engaged,

1592
01:16:54,911 --> 01:16:58,948
but I got the message
out through his hand.

1593
01:16:59,048 --> 01:17:01,250
Now our brains and
bodies were one.

1594
01:17:10,059 --> 01:17:13,162
I'm not Adlai!

1595
01:17:13,262 --> 01:17:14,998
I'm not Adlai.

1596
01:17:15,098 --> 01:17:17,200
I'm a slave of Dr. Slag, PhD.

1597
01:17:17,300 --> 01:17:18,034
Oh, shit!

1598
01:17:21,971 --> 01:17:24,540
Pull out, Dick!

1599
01:17:24,640 --> 01:17:26,209
I'm not Adlai.

1600
01:17:26,309 --> 01:17:27,744
Slag has Adlai.

1601
01:17:27,844 --> 01:17:30,179
Slag's turning Tromaville
into a radioactive stockpile.

1602
01:17:30,279 --> 01:17:32,181
Disregard
anything he says, ma'am.

1603
01:17:32,281 --> 01:17:33,016
He's mad.

1604
01:17:33,116 --> 01:17:34,684
Who are you?

1605
01:17:34,784 --> 01:17:37,486
Special security, Ma'am.

1606
01:17:37,586 --> 01:17:38,922
Hired by the mayor himself.

1607
01:17:39,022 --> 01:17:42,658
This man is not allowed
outside our custody

1608
01:17:42,759 --> 01:17:43,993
until his arraignment.

1609
01:17:44,093 --> 01:17:47,630
However, he snuck
away to see you.

1610
01:17:47,731 --> 01:17:49,165
Now, don't tell
anyone about this.

1611
01:17:49,265 --> 01:17:53,102
We regret any inconvenience
this may have caused you.

1612
01:17:53,202 --> 01:17:54,037
Wait a minute.

1613
01:17:54,137 --> 01:17:55,872
What does he mean,
he's not Adlai?

1614
01:18:01,878 --> 01:18:04,347
Trish decided
to call my dad, the mayor.

1615
01:18:04,447 --> 01:18:07,250
And even though Dad loved me, he
had a good sense of priorities

1616
01:18:07,350 --> 01:18:09,886
and still wouldn't risk
his reputation to help me.

1617
01:18:09,986 --> 01:18:11,454
Hello, Mayor Smith, please.

1618
01:18:11,554 --> 01:18:13,122
However, he
would tell Trish what to do.

1619
01:18:13,222 --> 01:18:16,159
Meanwhile, the force of
combining my brain with Dick's

1620
01:18:16,259 --> 01:18:19,262
knocked out all the power in the
hideout, and me along with it.

1621
01:18:19,362 --> 01:18:21,397
The only thing I remembered
was a dull throbbing

1622
01:18:21,497 --> 01:18:22,431
between my legs.

1623
01:18:22,531 --> 01:18:23,967
Something's gone wrong.

1624
01:18:24,067 --> 01:18:27,570
I didn't count on this
idiot being able to control

1625
01:18:27,670 --> 01:18:29,138
his brother's functions.

1626
01:18:29,238 --> 01:18:32,308
I should have never left this
damn project in the control

1627
01:18:32,408 --> 01:18:34,510
of those scientists.

1628
01:18:34,610 --> 01:18:37,146
It's too late anyway.

1629
01:18:37,246 --> 01:18:40,917
The Nukemama Corporation
shall get their wish,

1630
01:18:41,017 --> 01:18:46,122
and I shall become
supreme ruler.

1631
01:18:46,222 --> 01:18:47,523
My dad, the mayor,

1632
01:18:47,623 --> 01:18:49,325
told Trish to do
what comes naturally

1633
01:18:49,425 --> 01:18:51,127
and rally the good
students of Tromaville

1634
01:18:51,227 --> 01:18:53,262
to tell them about
Slag and Holt.

1635
01:18:55,164 --> 01:18:57,867
So off Trish went,
although due to midterms,

1636
01:18:57,967 --> 01:19:00,436
spring break, and a Screen
Actors Guild strike,

1637
01:19:00,536 --> 01:19:01,905
the crowd was small.

1638
01:19:02,005 --> 01:19:04,040
Everyone, listen to me.

1639
01:19:04,140 --> 01:19:07,343
I have proof here that
Adlai isn't the Jekyll

1640
01:19:07,443 --> 01:19:08,177
and Hyde of Tromaville.

1641
01:19:08,277 --> 01:19:09,378
No.

1642
01:19:09,478 --> 01:19:10,847
No, come on.

1643
01:19:10,947 --> 01:19:16,652
Look, a note written to me
by Adlai through the hands

1644
01:19:16,752 --> 01:19:19,122
of his evil twin.

1645
01:19:19,222 --> 01:19:22,926
An evil man named Slag and
a Professor Holt who smokes

1646
01:19:23,026 --> 01:19:25,528
cigars has Adlai imprisoned.

1647
01:19:25,628 --> 01:19:30,266
They commanded his twin to
destroy Adlai's reputation.

1648
01:19:30,366 --> 01:19:33,569
If we don't stop Slag now, he's
going to turn this whole town

1649
01:19:33,669 --> 01:19:35,905
into a radioactive stockpile.

1650
01:19:36,005 --> 01:19:37,273
Yeah, this Trish is a liar.

1651
01:19:38,674 --> 01:19:41,077
We saw what her boyfriend
tried to do to our friends.

1652
01:19:41,177 --> 01:19:44,147
He pretended he was a hero and
then terrorized us all instead.

1653
01:19:44,247 --> 01:19:48,684
C'mon, let's grab her and find
out what she's really after.

1654
01:20:04,467 --> 01:20:08,972
Good citizens of Tromaville,
make way, make way.

1655
01:20:09,072 --> 01:20:12,375
This is Mayor Smith speaking.

1656
01:20:12,475 --> 01:20:15,644
Now you've all heard the stories
of how I love Tromaville,

1657
01:20:15,744 --> 01:20:18,247
and you've all heard the stories
of how I had to try and save

1658
01:20:18,347 --> 01:20:20,083
this very school from
certain destruction

1659
01:20:20,183 --> 01:20:22,518
just a few short years ago.

1660
01:20:22,618 --> 01:20:24,287
Well, I wouldn't
lie to you, even

1661
01:20:24,387 --> 01:20:27,756
to save the life of my own
son, because that's how much I

1662
01:20:27,857 --> 01:20:30,359
love this city and all of you.

1663
01:20:30,459 --> 01:20:33,662
So you have to believe me when
I say that this young woman

1664
01:20:33,762 --> 01:20:34,597
speaks the truth.

1665
01:20:38,234 --> 01:20:39,903
And if you don't
believe me, I brought

1666
01:20:40,003 --> 01:20:43,139
along a nurse from the
hospital where Adlai was born.

1667
01:20:44,040 --> 01:20:45,341
Yes, it is true.

1668
01:20:45,441 --> 01:20:47,376
I have the medical records
here from two years ago

1669
01:20:47,476 --> 01:20:48,544
when Adlai was born.

1670
01:20:48,644 --> 01:20:51,580
Here, I'll pass them
around for you all to see.

1671
01:20:51,680 --> 01:20:53,116
It's true.

1672
01:20:53,216 --> 01:20:57,086
Before Adlai was born, Adlai's
mother weighed 140 pounds.

1673
01:20:57,186 --> 01:21:00,389
After Adlai was born,
she weighed 100 pounds.

1674
01:21:00,489 --> 01:21:03,026
Now Adlai weighed
20 pounds at birth,

1675
01:21:03,126 --> 01:21:05,528
so that leaves 20
pounds unaccounted for.

1676
01:21:05,628 --> 01:21:08,097
Now the only logical
conclusion is that Adlai's

1677
01:21:08,197 --> 01:21:09,632
mother gave birth to twins.

1678
01:21:11,300 --> 01:21:13,402
And one of them was
stolen and brought up

1679
01:21:13,502 --> 01:21:16,005
to be an evil killer.

1680
01:21:25,781 --> 01:21:28,184
They're the ones
that kidnapped Adlai!

1681
01:21:28,284 --> 01:21:29,919
Yeah!

1682
01:21:30,019 --> 01:21:31,654
They're the ones
that kidnapped Adlai.

1683
01:21:31,754 --> 01:21:32,621
Yeah!

1684
01:21:32,721 --> 01:21:33,656
Let's go save Adlai!

1685
01:21:33,756 --> 01:21:34,924
Yeah!

1686
01:21:35,024 --> 01:21:36,125
Wait a minute.

1687
01:21:36,225 --> 01:21:37,927
Those people are
professional killers.

1688
01:21:38,027 --> 01:21:40,596
You can't go after
them unprotected,

1689
01:21:40,696 --> 01:21:42,031
Why don't you lead
us into battle?

1690
01:21:42,131 --> 01:21:43,366
You've done it before.

1691
01:21:43,466 --> 01:21:44,267
Yeah!

1692
01:21:44,367 --> 01:21:45,468
No.

1693
01:21:45,568 --> 01:21:49,038
Sadly, after my wife
Victoria died giving birth,

1694
01:21:49,138 --> 01:21:51,574
I took a vow since
that day two years ago

1695
01:21:51,674 --> 01:21:54,877
never, ever to take another
human life, no matter how

1696
01:21:54,978 --> 01:21:56,412
worthless and evil.

1697
01:21:58,614 --> 01:22:01,951
But I'll give you some
pointers on how to do it!

1698
01:22:06,622 --> 01:22:10,093
Here beneath the power
plant, the deepest

1699
01:22:10,193 --> 01:22:13,096
underground point
in Tromaville, is

1700
01:22:13,196 --> 01:22:15,464
where we will make our demands.

1701
01:22:15,564 --> 01:22:19,768
If they are not met, we
will take you and your twin

1702
01:22:19,868 --> 01:22:22,605
and turn the bedrock
under Tromaville

1703
01:22:22,705 --> 01:22:24,073
into a nuclear furnace.

1704
01:22:24,173 --> 01:22:25,708
It's all just theory, Slag.

1705
01:22:25,808 --> 01:22:26,909
It may never even work.

1706
01:22:27,010 --> 01:22:29,245
Well then, there, now.

1707
01:22:29,345 --> 01:22:33,849
We'll just have to put our
theory to the test, won't we?

1708
01:22:33,949 --> 01:22:35,218
Bring in Dick!

1709
01:23:09,585 --> 01:23:12,188
So there really was a
part of me out there.

1710
01:23:21,297 --> 01:23:22,531
Anyone who has a brother

1711
01:23:22,631 --> 01:23:25,801
knows the emotion,
the incredible joy

1712
01:23:25,901 --> 01:23:27,936
that welled up in my heart.

1713
01:23:28,037 --> 01:23:30,106
So there really was a
part of me out there.

1714
01:23:30,206 --> 01:23:31,607
Everyone in the room,

1715
01:23:31,707 --> 01:23:34,843
even though they were bad,
was overcome by the moment.

1716
01:23:34,943 --> 01:23:38,314
And I still couldn't
help feeling love,

1717
01:23:38,414 --> 01:23:40,616
even though all I knew and
loved was about to become

1718
01:23:40,716 --> 01:23:42,418
a nuclear nugget.

1719
01:23:42,518 --> 01:23:43,119
All right.

1720
01:23:43,219 --> 01:23:44,587
Family reunion's over.

1721
01:23:51,060 --> 01:23:52,995
I want you two to
grab that croissant

1722
01:23:53,096 --> 01:23:55,231
and meld your powers to
turn it into the biggest

1723
01:23:55,331 --> 01:23:57,500
piece of plutonium
Tromaville's ever seen.

1724
01:24:01,937 --> 01:24:04,440
You'll never get me to do it.

1725
01:24:04,540 --> 01:24:05,774
Except that way.

1726
01:24:09,145 --> 01:24:09,978
Oh, well, didn't work.

1727
01:24:10,079 --> 01:24:11,647
What a damn shame.

1728
01:24:11,747 --> 01:24:13,516
Other hand, Adlai.

1729
01:24:13,616 --> 01:24:14,817
Use your other hand.

1730
01:24:47,616 --> 01:24:50,686
My God, it works!

1731
01:24:50,786 --> 01:24:57,826
With this at my fingertips,
I can rule everything.

1732
01:25:08,737 --> 01:25:10,873
Dad did not
want to get violent because he

1733
01:25:10,973 --> 01:25:12,341
was a committed pacifist.

1734
01:25:12,441 --> 01:25:15,311
Ooh, I
think I doodied my pants.

1735
01:25:15,411 --> 01:25:16,945
And he
didn't want to get his rented

1736
01:25:17,045 --> 01:25:20,583
tux dirty, so he honored his
pledge not to take any life

1737
01:25:20,683 --> 01:25:24,587
and kept his violence
to a PG-13 level.

1738
01:25:24,687 --> 01:25:27,923
Looks like you underestimated
the good people of Tromaville.

1739
01:25:28,023 --> 01:25:29,325
They're coming to get you now.

1740
01:25:29,425 --> 01:25:31,360
Don't kid yourself.

1741
01:25:31,460 --> 01:25:35,698
Squirrels, get out there and
stop these friends of Adlai's.

1742
01:25:48,744 --> 01:25:50,379
The Nukemama Corporate

1743
01:25:50,479 --> 01:25:55,017
gang and their vicious clone
warriors seemed invincible.

1744
01:25:55,117 --> 01:25:57,986
But when the good people of
Tromaville worked together,

1745
01:25:58,086 --> 01:26:00,088
they could do anything.

1746
01:26:00,189 --> 01:26:03,292
They did what came naturally and
went after the wolf dog clone

1747
01:26:03,392 --> 01:26:04,793
with rolled up newspapers.

1748
01:26:04,893 --> 01:26:08,264
And discovered this was a
clone's one fatal weakness.

1749
01:26:08,364 --> 01:26:09,732
The rest of the
clones were quickly

1750
01:26:09,832 --> 01:26:11,834
polished off in this manner.

1751
01:26:26,148 --> 01:26:27,049
Yeah.

1752
01:26:27,149 --> 01:26:28,251
Yeah, people of Tromaville!

1753
01:26:31,153 --> 01:26:32,054
Adlai!

1754
01:26:32,154 --> 01:26:34,089
Adlai!

1755
01:26:34,189 --> 01:26:36,058
Adlai!

1756
01:26:36,158 --> 01:26:37,460
Adlai, we're winning.

1757
01:26:37,560 --> 01:26:40,429
Don't worry, we're winning!

1758
01:26:40,529 --> 01:26:42,831
Stop right there, young lady.

1759
01:26:42,931 --> 01:26:45,268
Thanks for the update
on the action upstairs.

1760
01:26:48,604 --> 01:26:51,474
Looks like we have no other
choice but to take Tromaville

1761
01:26:51,574 --> 01:26:54,410
and the world down with us.

1762
01:26:54,510 --> 01:26:57,480
Dick, let's see your best.

1763
01:26:57,580 --> 01:27:00,316
Combine your power with
Adlai's and turn Tromaville

1764
01:27:00,416 --> 01:27:01,884
into a nuclear stockpile.

1765
01:27:01,984 --> 01:27:02,718
No way.

1766
01:27:02,818 --> 01:27:04,520
I won't do it.

1767
01:27:04,620 --> 01:27:06,088
OK, then.

1768
01:27:06,188 --> 01:27:07,890
I guess I get to shoot you.

1769
01:27:14,497 --> 01:27:16,231
Dick, stop Slag!

1770
01:27:16,332 --> 01:27:17,500
Adlai's your brother!

1771
01:27:22,671 --> 01:27:23,406
Are you nuts?

1772
01:27:23,506 --> 01:27:25,308
Stay away from my brother.

1773
01:27:25,408 --> 01:27:27,075
I trained you, you idiot.

1774
01:27:27,175 --> 01:27:27,910
You can't beat me.

1775
01:27:46,695 --> 01:27:47,496
Nice hair.

1776
01:27:51,700 --> 01:27:52,668
Oh, oh God.

1777
01:27:57,740 --> 01:27:58,907
Get off of
me, you little slut!

1778
01:28:00,576 --> 01:28:03,579
Get your melon- heavy breasts
off the honorable Dr. Slag,

1779
01:28:03,679 --> 01:28:06,549
PhD., or else I'm going
to shoot you in the ass.

1780
01:28:07,650 --> 01:28:08,183
Yee-haw!

1781
01:28:09,552 --> 01:28:10,319
Oh, my eye!

1782
01:28:10,419 --> 01:28:11,620
That's my eye!

1783
01:28:11,720 --> 01:28:12,921
You idiot.

1784
01:28:13,021 --> 01:28:14,222
You hit my eye.

1785
01:28:14,323 --> 01:28:17,726
Oh, so sorry, Dr.
Slag, honorable PhD.

1786
01:28:25,334 --> 01:28:26,402
I'll get you help.

1787
01:28:28,904 --> 01:28:34,843
Not until Tromaville is
nothing but a nuclear stockpile.

1788
01:28:34,943 --> 01:28:38,213
Now, guys, let's do it.

1789
01:28:38,313 --> 01:28:40,783
Or I kill the girl!

1790
01:28:40,883 --> 01:28:42,785
Oh, please.

1791
01:28:42,885 --> 01:28:44,186
Please.

1792
01:29:02,938 --> 01:29:04,206
Dick and I decided

1793
01:29:04,306 --> 01:29:05,841
to do what came naturally.

1794
01:29:05,941 --> 01:29:07,643
Our subhumanoid
instincts took over

1795
01:29:07,743 --> 01:29:10,479
and caused us to arm
wrestle, which of course

1796
01:29:10,579 --> 01:29:12,014
led to us melting down.

1797
01:29:15,451 --> 01:29:16,852
Uh, Dick, is
it my imagination,

1798
01:29:16,952 --> 01:29:19,522
or are you beginning
to deteriorate?

1799
01:29:19,622 --> 01:29:20,789
Uh, well, Adlai.

1800
01:29:20,889 --> 01:29:22,324
Hate to tell you this,
but you're looking

1801
01:29:22,425 --> 01:29:25,193
a little grim there yourself.

1802
01:30:17,446 --> 01:30:19,081
Uh-oh.

1803
01:30:19,181 --> 01:30:19,915
Oh.

1804
01:30:30,893 --> 01:30:32,528
Even
though we loved each other

1805
01:30:32,628 --> 01:30:34,630
as brothers, the
power made us merge

1806
01:30:34,730 --> 01:30:38,433
ourselves back into a primordial
egg surrounded by green goo.

1807
01:30:41,504 --> 01:30:44,339
Crazy, man.

1808
01:30:44,439 --> 01:30:45,474
Trish picked us

1809
01:30:45,574 --> 01:30:47,643
up and did what came naturally.

1810
01:30:47,743 --> 01:30:50,145
She immediately took us
to the nuclear reactor

1811
01:30:50,245 --> 01:30:53,616
and tossed us in.

1812
01:30:53,716 --> 01:30:55,450
Careful on
those stairs, Trish.

1813
01:30:55,551 --> 01:30:57,786
You don't want to
drop us, do you?

1814
01:30:57,886 --> 01:31:00,455
Adlai, once we get into
the nuclear reactor, what

1815
01:31:00,556 --> 01:31:01,857
do we do?

1816
01:31:01,957 --> 01:31:03,626
I don't know, Dick,
but could you move over?

1817
01:31:03,726 --> 01:31:04,993
Your foot's in my mouth.

1818
01:31:14,837 --> 01:31:15,571
Oi vey.

1819
01:31:25,848 --> 01:31:27,816
It's
crowded in here.

1820
01:31:27,916 --> 01:31:28,751
We're melting!

1821
01:31:31,153 --> 01:31:32,588
It's only a movie.

1822
01:31:36,659 --> 01:31:38,460
Something's coming out.

1823
01:31:38,561 --> 01:31:39,995
What is it, a loaf of bread?

1824
01:31:43,098 --> 01:31:43,866
No.

1825
01:31:46,635 --> 01:31:49,371
It's a baby.

1826
01:31:49,471 --> 01:31:50,873
Have a stogie, old fogey.

1827
01:31:54,009 --> 01:31:56,344
Hi, my name is Mushy Smith.

1828
01:31:56,444 --> 01:31:58,714
I'm a fourth
generation subhumanoid.

1829
01:31:58,814 --> 01:32:01,049
I was created because Adlai
Smith and his twin brother

1830
01:32:01,149 --> 01:32:03,852
Dick merged their powers
together and melted down

1831
01:32:03,952 --> 01:32:06,254
in a primordial egg
surrounded by green goo

1832
01:32:06,354 --> 01:32:08,857
in order to save the good
people of Tromaville.

1833
01:32:08,957 --> 01:32:10,458
I was also created
because talking

1834
01:32:10,559 --> 01:32:15,664
babies have proven to be quite
profitable in movies recently.

1835
01:32:15,764 --> 01:32:17,900
I am proud that my
sons Dick and Adlai had

1836
01:32:18,000 --> 01:32:20,235
the courage to melt down
into a primordial egg

1837
01:32:20,335 --> 01:32:22,237
surrounded by green goo.

1838
01:32:22,337 --> 01:32:24,072
The evil Dr. Slag, PhD.

1839
01:32:24,172 --> 01:32:25,173
Has been killed.

1840
01:32:25,273 --> 01:32:27,710
The Nukemama corporate
powers are defeated,

1841
01:32:27,810 --> 01:32:30,613
and the power is permanently
on, with low cost,

1842
01:32:30,713 --> 01:32:33,882
clean, efficient, and
properly supervised energy.

1843
01:32:33,982 --> 01:32:37,786
So in recognition of
outstanding devotion

1844
01:32:37,886 --> 01:32:42,257
to the town of Tromaville, I
hereby dedicate this memorial

1845
01:32:42,357 --> 01:32:45,493
to my sons Dick and Adlai.

1846
01:32:47,195 --> 01:32:49,064
Say, those are nice.

1847
01:32:49,164 --> 01:32:50,432
Those are nice.

1848
01:32:50,532 --> 01:32:53,501
Where's the baby you
pulled out of the nuclear core?

1849
01:32:53,602 --> 01:32:55,103
Here he is.

1850
01:32:55,203 --> 01:32:56,839
We had a tough time getting all
of that green crap off of him,

1851
01:32:56,939 --> 01:32:59,742
but a little sandpaper and a
dip in Clorox did the trick.

1852
01:33:02,244 --> 01:33:04,379
Oh, that
is the cutest baby.

1853
01:33:04,479 --> 01:33:07,082
What a pretty baby.

1854
01:33:07,182 --> 01:33:10,853
In tribute to Dick and Adlai
and how they saved the people

1855
01:33:10,953 --> 01:33:14,757
of Tromaville, I hereby
dedicate this memorial to all

1856
01:33:14,857 --> 01:33:16,424
the good people of Tromaville.

1857
01:33:16,524 --> 01:33:17,459
Isn't that nice?

1858
01:33:17,559 --> 01:33:18,894
Oh, I'm so very proud.

1859
01:33:18,994 --> 01:33:19,728
Delightful!

1860
01:33:20,896 --> 01:33:22,898
Entitled Two Free
Spirits, this monument

1861
01:33:22,998 --> 01:33:25,834
reminds us of how the
Tromaville twins enhanced

1862
01:33:25,934 --> 01:33:28,136
our freedom and our lives.

1863
01:33:28,236 --> 01:33:30,038
And of how cheap
Tromaville is for not

1864
01:33:30,138 --> 01:33:31,774
affording a statue
that even remotely

1865
01:33:31,874 --> 01:33:33,241
resembles the damn twins.

1866
01:33:33,341 --> 01:33:34,409
Oh, that's a terrible thing.

1867
01:33:34,509 --> 01:33:36,244
Terrible.

1868
01:33:36,344 --> 01:33:37,445
Trying to save money.

1869
01:33:37,545 --> 01:33:39,648
But this baby represents
a new beginning,

1870
01:33:39,748 --> 01:33:41,684
a new beginning for us all.

1871
01:33:41,784 --> 01:33:43,652
For you and for me.

1872
01:33:43,752 --> 01:33:47,656
This is a rebirth, a fresh
start for all mankind.

1873
01:33:47,756 --> 01:33:49,324
This is my child.

1874
01:33:49,424 --> 01:33:50,726
This is your child.

1875
01:33:50,826 --> 01:33:53,261
This is a child of the universe.

1876
01:33:53,361 --> 01:33:56,932
And as such, this infant
represents the future.

1877
01:33:57,032 --> 01:34:00,402
So of course, we must nurture
it and permit it to grow.

1878
01:34:00,502 --> 01:34:04,873
And most importantly, this
baby represents Troma movies

1879
01:34:04,973 --> 01:34:08,510
of the future, so of course
we must love it, teach

1880
01:34:08,610 --> 01:34:11,379
it, and indeed breastfeed it.

1881
01:34:18,586 --> 01:34:20,723
So Adlai and Dick did not die.

1882
01:34:20,823 --> 01:34:22,090
They were reborn.

1883
01:34:22,190 --> 01:34:24,927
This is a Troma movie,
so dry those eyes

1884
01:34:25,027 --> 01:34:29,197
and rejoice, because now there's
Class of Nuke 'Em High Part IV.

1885
01:34:31,834 --> 01:34:32,567
Oh boy, part IV?

1886
01:34:32,667 --> 01:34:33,501
Yeah.

1887
01:34:33,601 --> 01:34:34,770
Great news.

1888
01:34:34,870 --> 01:34:36,705
That's great news.

1889
01:34:36,805 --> 01:34:38,440
Excuse me, do you know
where the end credits are?

1890
01:34:38,540 --> 01:34:40,275
Can you direct me to the end...

1891
01:34:42,344 --> 01:34:43,245
Oh, why'd you do that?

1892
01:34:43,345 --> 01:34:45,613
Oh.

1893
01:37:12,794 --> 01:37:16,098
Due to the recent
economic difficulties facing

1894
01:37:16,198 --> 01:37:18,566
small independent
film companies,

1895
01:37:18,666 --> 01:37:20,435
the producers of
this motion picture

1896
01:37:20,535 --> 01:37:23,638
have been forced to sell
classified advertising

1897
01:37:23,738 --> 01:37:26,274
space in these end credits.

1898
01:37:26,374 --> 01:37:28,643
We apologize for
any inconvenience

1899
01:37:28,743 --> 01:37:31,746
this may have caused.

1900
01:37:31,846 --> 01:37:33,315
If you
would like to find out

1901
01:37:33,415 --> 01:37:35,783
how you can advertise in the
end credits of a Troma movie,

1902
01:37:35,884 --> 01:37:37,953
please send the stamped,
self-addressed envelope

1903
01:37:38,053 --> 01:37:40,822
to Tromaville Studios,
Tromaville, New Jersey.

1904
01:37:40,923 --> 01:37:43,191
Or contact your
local Congressperson.

1905
01:37:43,291 --> 01:37:47,062
Thank you for your patronage
and have a nice day.