1 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,166 (ORCHESTRA PLAYING) 2 00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:24,918 * The hangman's got a hard-on 3 00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:29,423 * The pretty minstrels sway 4 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:34,562 * The pundit reeks of coffin 5 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:38,766 * The banker rapes a maid 6 00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:42,035 * We will not sing 7 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:46,740 * In your damn parade 8 00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:50,711 (SINGING) 9 00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:59,220 * We will not sing 10 00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:03,791 * In your damn parade 11 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:42,062 * We will not sing 12 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:47,735 * In your damn parade 13 00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:52,540 * We will not sing 14 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:58,512 * In your damn parade 15 00:02:58,579 --> 00:03:03,684 * We will not sing 16 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:50,631 JESSICA MOSS: They were really serious people 17 00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:53,033 that were taking the world seriously. 18 00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:58,171 When I heard that they were thinking about expanding their band 19 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,973 I jumped at the opportunity. 20 00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:05,446 (VOCALIZING) 21 00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,203 EFRIM MENUCK: We made this decision 22 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,005 that we were going to be a touring band. 23 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:35,909 We were going to be able to throw our shit on any stage anywhere 24 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:38,111 any day of the week and at least win over 25 00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:39,880 a handful of people in the room. 26 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:50,524 * Some! Hearts! Are! True! 27 00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:55,863 * Some! Hearts! Are! True! 28 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:01,034 Every song Mt. Zion has ever played 29 00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,236 has sort of had the same basic theme to it. 30 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,774 That, you know, things are bad now and they have to get better, 31 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,242 which will get you heckled at a lot of places 32 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,311 if you start talking about that stuff. 33 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:18,118 But people are good and together we can do anything. 34 00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:23,691 (CROWD CHEERING) 35 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:27,094 MENUCK: Merci. Merci. Merci. Thank you. 36 00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:34,535 (BABY GURGLING) 37 00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:57,891 MOSS: Oh, there we go, see that's good. Let him hear it. 38 00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:05,499 MOSS: We never considered not touring with Ezra. 39 00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:10,404 We were making a record. We were going to tour as much as we could. 40 00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:14,274 I was worried but I felt really confident as well. I knew we could do it. 41 00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:27,888 We toured through North America and Europe. 42 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:32,960 He went from six months to nine months during that period. 43 00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:41,068 I've put it in such a safety deposit box 44 00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,270 and put it so far out in the back of my head. 45 00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:44,738 It was incredibly difficult. 46 00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,107 For both of us. 47 00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:52,880 It was an incredibly difficult experience. It really was. 48 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,315 It was pretty lonely and isolating 49 00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:57,818 and there was not very much sleep. 50 00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:03,390 And I felt so on the outside of my band on that tour. 51 00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:04,925 I felt like a burden. 52 00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:11,364 (SINGING) 53 00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:17,738 MENUCK: I just felt guilt and inadequacy on that tour, 54 00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:19,172 on the parenting front. 55 00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:23,110 I felt incapable of doing more. 56 00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:28,081 MOSS: We sort of got separated into these traditional roles very quickly. 57 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:32,319 All I knew how to do was keep this baby happy. 58 00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:35,623 Efrim needed to be out in the world taking care of everything else. 59 00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:38,592 * I built myself a metal bird 60 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,995 * I fed my metal bird 61 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:51,438 MOSS: On the other hand, you know, we did it. We did it. 62 00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:54,307 You know, I look at the photos and it was incredible what we did. 63 00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,644 Ezra was learning how to stand and walk 64 00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,646 on the bus while it was moving. 65 00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:34,314 You want me to write a dog? 66 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,952 You want me to write a train? 67 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,453 I'm going to write you a train. 68 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,155 Say, "Hi, camera." 69 00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:57,938 MENUCK: If it weren't for getting to know Jessica's family, 70 00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:01,909 I have no experience with good familial relationships. 71 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:11,318 Even though I loved Ezra I didn't know how to relate to him so much. 72 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,722 I think I was emotionally absent almost all of the time. 73 00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:20,928 MOSS: We were both very unprepared 74 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,997 for the enormity of having an infant. 75 00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:35,408 MENUCK: I didn't get too freaked out when I was broke before, you know? 76 00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:37,510 Now I get super anxious. 77 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:43,651 Any touring musician, your bank account is going to go up 78 00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,252 and they get drained almost immediately. 79 00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,520 Like anyone who's doing contract work. 80 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:59,032 The expenses of touring for us have gone through the roof. 81 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,001 It's a lot more expensive for us to tour now. 82 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,636 We have to bring a nanny, 83 00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:04,371 we have to tour in a tour bus, 84 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,607 which we never considered doing before we had a kid. 85 00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:10,310 I mean, you know, those are huge expenses. 86 00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:13,681 Most of my head now is consumed with this idea that I have to provide. 87 00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,482 Daddy. Oh, Daddy. 88 00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,520 (INAUDIBLE) 89 00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:12,372 (EZRA TALKING INDISTINCTLY) MOSS: Yeah. I'll bet. 90 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:21,281 EZRA: Go bye-bye. Go bye-bye. 91 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:24,885 We've been together six or seven years now. Seven years almost. 92 00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:27,788 This is the first time where we're not doing the same thing. 93 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:34,494 And it's Godspeed so there's like, you know, thousands of adoring fans every night. 94 00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:37,664 And I'm getting up and going to the Y playgroup, you know? 95 00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,132 Going to the cafe. Yeah. 96 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:42,870 And this is my life and I know it's not forever but... 97 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:45,238 You're a wife. So crazy. 98 00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,875 Like, I'm at home. But I feel like it's going to go by... 99 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,176 I'm a stay-at-home mom. 100 00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,511 You're a stay-at-home-mom, you really are. 101 00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:54,915 If you look at it on paper, Efrim's off working and bringing home the bacon. 102 00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:56,616 Mmm-hmm. 103 00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:59,186 Jessica's at home with the baby, cooking and cleaning. 104 00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:05,058 You want a book? This one? No. 105 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,095 This one? No. 106 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,831 This one? 107 00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:12,099 Yeah. Yeah. 108 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,934 That. 109 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:15,903 That's water you put on the tray. 110 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,307 That's water you put on the tray. 111 00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:22,810 That's water in the book. 112 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:23,944 You're smart. 113 00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:30,818 MOSS: This is a collage I made for Efrim's record. 114 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:34,054 It's the first artwork I've done since Ezra was born. 115 00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:37,390 I think we might photograph it. 116 00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:40,460 I just want to make sure it doesn't look like ever it was in Photoshop. 117 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:45,698 This record that Efrim's making is very personal 118 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,400 and I think it's pretty incredible 119 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:50,570 that he's asked for a painting of him and Ezra on the cover. 120 00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,172 I do too. When I started to paint it, 121 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:55,843 I thought, "Okay, I have to be prepared that it might be... 122 00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,110 "End up being too much..." 123 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:58,745 Right. For him. Like he might... 124 00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:00,213 Yeah, he told me on the phone how much he loves it. 125 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,348 Okay, good. 126 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,519 What do you see? 127 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:09,322 (BABY TALK) 128 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,649 NADIA MOSS: He did something that he artistically wanted to do 129 00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:38,685 from something he had in his heart. 130 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,788 Like a poetic response to his son. 131 00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:45,558 He has the time, I guess and the luxury of making like this beautiful... 132 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:46,726 And the support. 133 00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:48,695 And the support to make a piece of art 134 00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:50,730 about his son and fatherhood 135 00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:52,599 and it's beautiful. 136 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,834 I mean, you get to have a lot of things but I don't... 137 00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:58,338 You don't get to step back, I guess, from the situation, 138 00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:02,542 the parenting, and like respond to it. 139 00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:06,079 Don't you find that art about motherhood is... 140 00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:08,481 There's an aspect of like... (SHUDDERS) 141 00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,083 Yeah, I know. Why? 142 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,818 ...not interested. I know. 143 00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:13,086 Isn't that weird? 144 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:15,255 Still, to this day, women's narratives 145 00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:18,258 are not considered as interesting and that's just all there is to it 146 00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:19,726 but I think maybe there's something else. 147 00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,461 Like there's the time aspect. 148 00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:22,862 Or that's what I'm realizing... But I think that's it. 149 00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:24,131 ...from watching you is like... 150 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,366 There's the time aspect. It's the time. 151 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,401 I just wish that I could be a father. 152 00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:31,404 Like I don't think I want to be a mom. 153 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:34,207 Nadia's going to take you for a walk. Mama. 154 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:37,444 It's cold out. (CRYING) 155 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:38,811 Ezra, it's freezing out. 156 00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:40,880 We're going for a walk. 157 00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:02,802 MOSS: There's no question in my mind that I wanted and want to have kids. 158 00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:04,604 NADIA: Mmm-hmm. I've always known that. 159 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:10,810 MOSS: But as I got older and as my life became about being in a rock band 160 00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:13,981 and being an artist and being an independent lady, 161 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,984 I stepped away from wanting to have kids 162 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:20,954 as soon as I could because I knew that once I did, 163 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,522 it would mean... 164 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,826 That I would become this mother. 165 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:32,265 There's this bizarre thing 166 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:36,603 that you become a mother and you become like kind of grotesque, you know? 167 00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:39,606 Even though everyone will say to you, "Oh, it's so amazing what you're doing. 168 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,608 "It's so wonderful." You know? 169 00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:43,243 "Wow." 170 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:47,480 But at the same time you feel this kind of pulling away. 171 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:50,017 Like, holy shit, where did everybody go? 172 00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:59,026 Everything changed, you know? 173 00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:14,141 I started playing when I was five 174 00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:18,378 with the idea that it could be something serious in my life. 175 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:22,315 It was forced upon me and now, of course, I'm so grateful that it was. 176 00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:26,219 (SINGING) 177 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:34,061 Growing up it feels like anything is possible. 178 00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:37,764 And the moment that you become a mother it stops feeling that way. 179 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,901 All of a sudden we become less 180 00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:45,772 even though in our own tiny little world we become huge 181 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,407 because we become somebody's mother. 182 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:53,846 I want so much to go back to what I was doing. 183 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,896 MENUCK: In this one, she's going like this... 184 00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:11,631 (VOCALIZES) 185 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:15,001 In this one, he's going like this... (VOCALIZES LOUDER) 186 00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:17,804 In this one, she's going like this... (VOCALIZES LOUDER) 187 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,406 In this one, she's going like this... 188 00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:20,607 (VOCALIZES LOUDER) 189 00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:23,243 I wanna do it again. All right. 190 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:27,180 MENUCK: I would give my right arm to have like, you know, six months at home. 191 00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,149 In this one, she's going like this... 192 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:52,004 MENUCK: The mother's job is so much harder than the father's job. 193 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:55,542 And the gender balance gets totally knocked on its ass. 194 00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:57,877 You think you're doing a good job with that stuff 195 00:17:57,944 --> 00:17:59,712 and then you have a kid and all of a sudden you realize 196 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:02,349 that you're totally lame with that stuff. 197 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,352 Look at that. Look at the camera. 198 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,888 MENUCK: In Ezra's first year, 199 00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:12,992 Godspeed started rehearsing full time, like a day job, 200 00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:16,463 and it was reaching this point where I felt like the cliche. 201 00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,765 I was coming home from practices like, you know, 202 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:21,868 "I need a drink," and like practically loosening my necktie 203 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,103 and then Jessica had been with Ezra the whole day and... 204 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:29,309 (BABY TALK) 205 00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:32,445 We have to figure out something else other than me being on the road 206 00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:34,647 and you being at home, right? 207 00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:35,882 I don't want that. 208 00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:29,336 * Hearts! Are! True! 209 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:35,074 * Some! Hearts! Are! True! 210 00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:37,777 * Some! Hearts! 211 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,712 DAVE PAYANT: I can think of a couple of friends of mine, 212 00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:43,115 musicians who in the last few years have had kids 213 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:47,119 and they don't do the music so much anymore. 214 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:51,258 I think Efrim and Jessica are showing that it's possible, but I don't know 215 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:56,329 if their example is enough to inspire the courage for me to... 216 00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:57,530 I don't know how... 217 00:19:57,597 --> 00:20:01,668 Personally how I would fare in the same situation. 218 00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:04,203 * True! 219 00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:12,178 * Some! Hearts! Are! True! 220 00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:16,449 PAYANT: So as Ezra's godfather, you are to be his spiritual advisor? 221 00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:20,287 Is that one of the, uh... I don't really know. 222 00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:22,889 What's the job description of a godfather? 223 00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,224 (WHISTLING) 224 00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:29,195 THIERRY AMAR: I see it as just someone who's a protector 225 00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:32,265 and someone who's there for him. 226 00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:35,435 And I think we're lucky to be in a band 227 00:20:35,502 --> 00:20:39,872 where most of us are really close and we're really good friends. 228 00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:52,385 (SINGING) 229 00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,455 MENUCK: Most bands don't share anything equally. 230 00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:57,657 You know, once money comes in, 231 00:20:57,724 --> 00:21:00,126 generally most of the money goes to one or two people in the band. 232 00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:03,730 And that's a sure-fire way to earn a living in this business. 233 00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:06,098 You know, if you take more than your bandmates do 234 00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:09,168 then you'll probably be okay. 235 00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:11,338 To me that's dishonest. 236 00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:14,273 We're committed to the idea of wealth redistribution, you know? 237 00:21:14,341 --> 00:21:17,276 The rich shouldn't be so rich and the poor shouldn't be so poor. 238 00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:21,548 So why would we replicate any of that class system 239 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,783 in our own band dynamic, right? 240 00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:29,589 EZRA: Six! One, two, three, four, six! 241 00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:35,695 EZRA: One, two, three, 242 00:21:35,762 --> 00:21:37,564 four, six! 243 00:21:42,335 --> 00:21:46,873 SOPHIE TRUDEAU: We have to make a little money but we live pretty simple lives. 244 00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:48,741 We're not extravagant 245 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:52,445 and success is being able to do what you love doing 246 00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:54,981 and not having to compromise. 247 00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:59,285 That I haven't had a job for the past ten years 248 00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:01,320 is pretty much my success. 249 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,308 (BABY TALK) 250 00:22:24,711 --> 00:22:26,345 MENUCK: The sides of the... 251 00:22:26,413 --> 00:22:28,247 Have to keep the workflow going. 252 00:22:28,314 --> 00:22:29,449 They're labeled for... 253 00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:37,390 PAYANT: You guys want to stack these in order? 254 00:22:37,457 --> 00:22:39,792 MENUCK: Why not just number them after they're folded? 255 00:22:47,767 --> 00:22:50,102 AMAR: We're like a neighborhood grocery store. 256 00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:57,577 We earn, you know, basically a lower middle-class living 257 00:22:57,644 --> 00:23:02,415 and I feel content with that if it could last. 258 00:23:04,817 --> 00:23:06,986 If we don't finish, worst-case scenario 259 00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:09,789 is we bring the box on the bus and at some point I'll finish it. 260 00:23:09,856 --> 00:23:12,224 MENUCK: And this idea that you could earn a wealthy living 261 00:23:12,291 --> 00:23:15,127 playing music is a recent innovation. 262 00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:19,866 For centuries, musicians were the lowest rung of the ladder. 263 00:23:19,932 --> 00:23:21,734 We're like the degenerates, 264 00:23:21,801 --> 00:23:24,537 the people who like played for pennies in the town square. 265 00:23:24,604 --> 00:23:27,106 We identify with that tradition. 266 00:23:32,545 --> 00:23:37,584 * Citizens in their homes 267 00:23:37,650 --> 00:23:42,288 * Missiles in their holes 268 00:23:42,354 --> 00:23:46,493 * Citizens in their homes 269 00:23:55,201 --> 00:24:01,774 * They built themselves a beauty by the ton * 270 00:24:01,841 --> 00:24:03,476 MENUCK: I feel like before that happened, 271 00:24:03,543 --> 00:24:05,077 when I would look at Mt. Zion I felt like 272 00:24:05,144 --> 00:24:07,647 Mt. Zion was just sort of an orphaned band. 273 00:24:07,714 --> 00:24:10,382 We didn't feel much in common with anything 274 00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:12,151 contemporary, but at the same time 275 00:24:12,218 --> 00:24:17,089 we weren't playing old-timey music either. 276 00:24:17,156 --> 00:24:20,560 And playing with Vic sort of opened up this idea that "Fuck, no," you know, 277 00:24:20,627 --> 00:24:22,562 like we're working within a tradition. 278 00:24:34,006 --> 00:24:38,144 MOSS: We write music that's like harder than what we can actually play. 279 00:24:38,210 --> 00:24:42,114 We just end up making these impossible songs 280 00:24:42,181 --> 00:24:45,918 and then we sing them even though we can't sing very well. 281 00:24:58,264 --> 00:25:05,504 I constantly feel like my position as a musician in the world is tenuous. 282 00:25:05,572 --> 00:25:09,341 Like I constantly feel like I'm going to turn the corner and it will be gone. 283 00:25:11,143 --> 00:25:13,079 Why is it that there are so few women 284 00:25:13,145 --> 00:25:15,114 in their mid-30s and beyond in bands? 285 00:25:16,382 --> 00:25:18,284 We're the veterans now. I know. 286 00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:20,019 It's like, who's... We made it! 287 00:25:21,220 --> 00:25:24,190 It's the golden years now! (LAUGHS) 288 00:25:24,256 --> 00:25:25,925 Or did we? I don't know, you know? It's... 289 00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:29,161 MOSS: Right now I'm just thinking, 290 00:25:29,228 --> 00:25:31,463 "Okay, what's going to go in Ezra's suitcase? 291 00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:33,866 "What's going to keep him occupied when he's bugging everybody else?" 292 00:25:36,068 --> 00:25:37,670 Just thinking about him constantly 293 00:25:37,737 --> 00:25:41,440 and his well-being and then how can I keep him feeling great 294 00:25:41,507 --> 00:25:44,243 so that everyone else can feel great. 295 00:25:44,310 --> 00:25:47,647 So I don't feel this guilt and responsibility of... 296 00:25:49,882 --> 00:25:51,951 The fact of him, you know what I mean? 297 00:25:52,018 --> 00:25:54,821 Fix it, Mommy. 298 00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:56,689 No one would ever say this to me, 299 00:25:56,756 --> 00:25:58,591 but I do sometimes question, 300 00:25:58,658 --> 00:26:02,161 like wouldn't it be easier for everybody if I just quit, you know? 301 00:26:03,162 --> 00:26:04,664 I feel that within me. 302 00:26:04,731 --> 00:26:07,066 I don't feel that from anybody else, I feel that within me. 303 00:26:07,133 --> 00:26:08,500 You can't even think about it. 304 00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:11,103 You can't tour without your child. 305 00:26:11,170 --> 00:26:12,839 And our husbands would never be thinking 306 00:26:12,905 --> 00:26:18,177 about what to put in the arts and crafts package for the bus. 307 00:26:18,244 --> 00:26:22,348 And I think that's like the heart of the matter. 308 00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:25,618 It's like as a mother you can't escape that. 309 00:26:25,685 --> 00:26:28,454 NATALIA YANCHAK: Now the band isn't my first priority, I have this child. 310 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:30,389 My family is my first priority. 311 00:26:32,959 --> 00:26:35,327 MOSS: What if we break him? 312 00:26:35,394 --> 00:26:37,596 I don't think we're going to break him. 313 00:26:37,664 --> 00:26:39,799 We might break him. We might break him a little bit. 314 00:26:41,133 --> 00:26:42,902 We'll see what happens. You know? 315 00:26:42,969 --> 00:26:44,203 We'll see how it goes. 316 00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:46,372 I think we both have the feeling and Efrim 317 00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:48,675 keeps reminding me of this is that 318 00:26:48,741 --> 00:26:52,278 it would be so much easier not to do it, and... 319 00:26:52,344 --> 00:26:55,047 But if we don't do it then, you know... 320 00:26:55,114 --> 00:26:56,716 We have to do it. Like we just have to do it. 321 00:26:56,783 --> 00:26:58,084 We have to try. 322 00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:01,754 (CROWD CHEERING) 323 00:27:05,224 --> 00:27:08,027 MENUCK: We are the Silver Mt. Zion Memorial Orchestra 324 00:27:08,094 --> 00:27:09,428 from Montreal, Quebec. 325 00:27:41,093 --> 00:27:42,528 (EZRA SPEAKING) 326 00:27:42,594 --> 00:27:44,096 Yeah, it's morning time. 327 00:27:54,606 --> 00:27:57,209 MOSS: To get to the most places in the least amount of time, 328 00:27:57,276 --> 00:28:00,679 we're basically driving for a week straight. 329 00:28:00,747 --> 00:28:03,983 Not only drive at night but we drive in the day too. 330 00:28:05,718 --> 00:28:09,889 Half the band just stays in bed, which I totally understand. 331 00:28:22,268 --> 00:28:24,170 (EZRA CRYING) 332 00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:55,001 (INAUDIBLE) 333 00:29:10,116 --> 00:29:12,618 MENUCK: The hours you keep when you're on the road 334 00:29:12,684 --> 00:29:15,221 are exactly the worst hours to raise a kid. 335 00:29:23,629 --> 00:29:28,234 When we have to drive is the time when he should not be cooped up in a van. 336 00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:33,739 When we have to go to work 337 00:29:33,806 --> 00:29:35,507 is when we should be with him 338 00:29:35,574 --> 00:29:37,043 getting him ready to go to bed. 339 00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:38,410 I mean, it's all topsy-turvy. 340 00:29:47,786 --> 00:29:49,822 (EZRA SPEAKING) 341 00:29:52,024 --> 00:29:56,395 So many buses, so many buses. 342 00:29:56,462 --> 00:30:00,366 So many buses, so many buses. 343 00:30:00,432 --> 00:30:02,801 AMBER: You wanna ride for a bit, sweetheart? 344 00:30:02,869 --> 00:30:04,170 You getting tired? 345 00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:06,638 Okay, baby. 346 00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:12,411 Everyone's okay? 347 00:30:12,478 --> 00:30:15,281 They're treating you well here? They're treating you okay? 348 00:30:15,347 --> 00:30:17,984 They're not ripping you off on drinks or I don't know, 349 00:30:18,050 --> 00:30:20,619 searching you unnecessarily or anything? 350 00:30:20,686 --> 00:30:23,022 Does anyone else have a question? 351 00:30:23,089 --> 00:30:25,791 MAN: Play music! You fuckin' play music. 352 00:30:25,858 --> 00:30:27,960 What the fuck? (CROWD LAUGHS) 353 00:30:28,027 --> 00:30:29,595 Anyone else have a question? 354 00:30:38,270 --> 00:30:40,739 TRUDEAU: Last year I was gone nine months, you know? 355 00:30:41,874 --> 00:30:43,675 Like just so much. 356 00:30:47,980 --> 00:30:49,781 Having Tim on the road makes it... 357 00:30:49,848 --> 00:30:51,350 It's like, "Oh, let's go on tour." 358 00:30:51,417 --> 00:30:53,352 One, two. Hey, one, two. 359 00:30:55,354 --> 00:30:59,725 TRUDEAU: And who knows, maybe I'll want to have kids someday. 360 00:30:59,791 --> 00:31:02,594 But Tim is not so excited about touring with kids. 361 00:31:02,661 --> 00:31:04,296 So we'd have to figure it out. 362 00:31:13,339 --> 00:31:14,340 MAN: Ezra! 363 00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:26,518 MOSS: If you want to run, sweetie, you can run to me, okay? Run! 364 00:31:54,613 --> 00:31:55,614 Oh! 365 00:31:59,318 --> 00:32:00,319 Ha! 366 00:32:01,153 --> 00:32:02,521 (EZRA SPEAKING) 367 00:32:03,555 --> 00:32:05,424 (ALL LAUGHING) 368 00:32:05,491 --> 00:32:07,726 MENUCK: No toys for Christmas this year. 369 00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:21,440 MOSS: Some beautiful art. 370 00:32:40,259 --> 00:32:41,727 MENUCK: What shampoo do I use? 371 00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:44,963 I use your mother's shampoo. She gave it to me personally. 372 00:32:45,031 --> 00:32:46,765 If you come closer I smell like your mother. 373 00:32:46,832 --> 00:32:49,101 Anyone else have a question? 374 00:32:49,168 --> 00:32:51,737 MENUCK: When you earn most of your living playing music for drunk people, 375 00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:55,441 where the bar's in the room, it's not really about you on any given night, 376 00:32:55,507 --> 00:32:57,976 it's about a whole lot of other things in the room, you know? 377 00:32:58,044 --> 00:33:01,447 As opposed to in a theater where everyone's seated 378 00:33:01,513 --> 00:33:03,215 and it's very hushed and very quiet. 379 00:33:03,282 --> 00:33:04,750 MENUCK: We're all stuck with each other. 380 00:33:04,816 --> 00:33:07,219 We all of us stink. We all of us smell bad. 381 00:33:07,286 --> 00:33:08,820 We all of us make bad smells. 382 00:33:08,887 --> 00:33:10,722 We all of us make bad decisions. 383 00:33:10,789 --> 00:33:14,460 We all of us say shitty things to people we love just because we feel hurt. 384 00:33:14,526 --> 00:33:17,596 But we're stuck with each other, yes? 385 00:33:17,663 --> 00:33:20,632 MENUCK: There's nights where we just lose them within five minutes, you know? 386 00:33:20,699 --> 00:33:23,535 An audience that totally came there to be, you know, 387 00:33:23,602 --> 00:33:25,037 to watch the show and be quiet 388 00:33:25,104 --> 00:33:27,406 and some nights we just lose them like that 389 00:33:27,473 --> 00:33:30,142 and they just start talking amongst themselves. 390 00:33:33,079 --> 00:33:36,182 I think it's the healthiest way for music to be presented. 391 00:33:36,248 --> 00:33:39,418 It's good to feel some sort of resistance 392 00:33:39,485 --> 00:33:41,253 when you're putting things into this world, you know? 393 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,989 If there's no resistance then it's a little too easy. 394 00:33:44,056 --> 00:33:45,724 (SINGING) 395 00:33:47,893 --> 00:33:49,995 MENUCK: Stop! Stop! 396 00:33:50,062 --> 00:33:52,664 Come on back. Come on back. 397 00:33:52,731 --> 00:33:55,967 Just be gentle with the seats and the stands, don't break anything. 398 00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:58,637 Everybody's gentle, everything will be fine. 399 00:34:16,922 --> 00:34:22,428 * Can't live on their remainders 400 00:34:29,301 --> 00:34:34,106 * They are burning half the world * 401 00:34:50,622 --> 00:34:52,324 (EZRA CRYING) 402 00:34:53,225 --> 00:34:54,726 There's a hole here. 403 00:34:56,262 --> 00:34:57,663 (CRIES) 404 00:34:59,931 --> 00:35:02,268 You just got scared? Yeah. 405 00:35:08,073 --> 00:35:10,276 So I guess we don't play right around here, huh? 406 00:35:10,342 --> 00:35:11,710 (CRYING) 407 00:35:13,979 --> 00:35:15,547 I guess we don't play right around here. 408 00:35:15,614 --> 00:35:17,549 That's okay, we don't have to play right here. 409 00:35:17,616 --> 00:35:19,185 Fell down right in there. 410 00:35:19,251 --> 00:35:20,386 What happened? 411 00:35:20,452 --> 00:35:22,554 I fell down right in there. 412 00:35:22,621 --> 00:35:24,490 You fell down right in there. 413 00:35:24,556 --> 00:35:25,691 Yeah. 414 00:35:25,757 --> 00:35:27,326 Here, let's move away from it 415 00:35:27,393 --> 00:35:30,196 so we don't fall down right in there anymore, okay? 416 00:35:30,262 --> 00:35:33,131 I wanna go away. Come sweetie. 417 00:35:33,199 --> 00:35:35,334 MOSS: Say it one more time. EZRA: Gap is mean. 418 00:35:35,401 --> 00:35:37,469 I don't know what that means. 419 00:35:37,536 --> 00:35:39,571 MAN: He's saying the gap. Oh, the gap. 420 00:35:39,638 --> 00:35:42,073 You got stuck in the gap. Yeah, you did. 421 00:35:44,976 --> 00:35:46,578 Oh. Oh. 422 00:35:46,645 --> 00:35:48,414 MOSS: It's easy to withdraw back into, 423 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:51,883 "It's never going to work. It can't work. It can't work." 424 00:35:51,950 --> 00:35:53,151 Can you go find me a snack? 425 00:35:53,219 --> 00:35:54,953 Can you go with Amber and find Mommy a snack? 426 00:35:55,020 --> 00:35:58,224 I want a snack too! 427 00:35:58,290 --> 00:35:59,758 You want a snack too? 428 00:35:59,825 --> 00:36:01,560 Okay, here sweetie. Here's Amber's hand. 429 00:36:01,627 --> 00:36:03,262 She's going to find you a snack okay? 430 00:36:03,329 --> 00:36:04,596 (EZRA CRYING) 431 00:36:04,663 --> 00:36:08,400 I want two snacks. Yeah. Two snacks. 432 00:36:08,467 --> 00:36:11,470 MOSS: How can it be possible to be the kind of parent that I want to be 433 00:36:11,537 --> 00:36:16,975 and to be the kind of person who can continue to 434 00:36:17,042 --> 00:36:19,711 make some kind of living doing what I love. 435 00:36:23,148 --> 00:36:24,483 Is it selfish? 436 00:36:24,550 --> 00:36:27,619 Or is it the best thing you can do for your kid 437 00:36:27,686 --> 00:36:29,755 is showing them that you're doing what you love. 438 00:36:29,821 --> 00:36:34,426 * And the day has come 439 00:36:34,493 --> 00:36:40,432 * When we no longer feel 440 00:36:40,499 --> 00:36:43,469 How's fatherhood? It's difficult, but it's great. 441 00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:44,903 Thank you for asking. 442 00:36:47,873 --> 00:36:49,475 He's on tour with us. 443 00:36:50,509 --> 00:36:55,614 He plays spittle mouth, gurgle face. 444 00:36:55,681 --> 00:36:59,150 He's pretty good at all those things. 445 00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:01,587 MOSS: So far, it's worth it. 446 00:37:03,355 --> 00:37:05,557 As long as it's okay with Ezra. 447 00:37:05,624 --> 00:37:09,861 If it starts seeming not okay with Ezra then I'll have to rethink it. 448 00:37:55,607 --> 00:37:58,209 MENUCK: I guess having a child is the first thing in my life that... 449 00:37:58,276 --> 00:38:00,446 Other than having a checking account, 450 00:38:00,512 --> 00:38:03,849 that's easily relatable to most people in the world. 451 00:38:13,224 --> 00:38:14,693 I had a weird upbringing. 452 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:16,795 Strange childhood, strange adolescence, 453 00:38:16,862 --> 00:38:18,897 difficult young adult, you know, 454 00:38:18,964 --> 00:38:20,866 incredibly poor for a few years. 455 00:38:22,701 --> 00:38:24,870 Being unemployed and being homeless 456 00:38:24,936 --> 00:38:27,138 and stealing food to eat, you know? 457 00:38:27,205 --> 00:38:28,974 Begging for change on the street. 458 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:30,676 Like all that stuff, you know? 459 00:38:34,913 --> 00:38:38,149 So having a kid makes it feel less like a weirdo. 460 00:38:43,689 --> 00:38:45,391 (PLAYING HARMONICA) 461 00:38:52,531 --> 00:38:55,100 MENUCK: This song is about throwing bricks through windows. 462 00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:56,267 And love. 463 00:38:57,168 --> 00:38:59,505 Simultaneously. 464 00:38:59,571 --> 00:39:01,607 It's called Microphones in the Trees. 465 00:39:01,673 --> 00:39:02,674 (CROWD CHEERS) 466 00:39:05,911 --> 00:39:08,213 You ready for snack time? I got us some strawberries. 467 00:39:10,849 --> 00:39:12,283 Strawberries. 468 00:39:13,151 --> 00:39:14,352 Strawberries. 469 00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:25,063 (MENUCK SINGING) 470 00:40:07,673 --> 00:40:09,775 (SINGING) 471 00:40:57,989 --> 00:41:03,194 AMAR: It's easy sometimes to lose perspective when you're on tour, you know? 472 00:41:03,261 --> 00:41:06,164 Just doesn't really feel like real life after a few weeks. 473 00:41:11,603 --> 00:41:13,371 Ezra feels like real life. 474 00:41:17,643 --> 00:41:20,512 He's super happy to be awake 475 00:41:20,579 --> 00:41:22,280 at five in the morning 476 00:41:22,347 --> 00:41:24,783 talking to me and I was like, 477 00:41:24,850 --> 00:41:26,184 "Do you want to talk to your parents? 478 00:41:26,251 --> 00:41:27,886 "Are you worried? Are you..." 479 00:41:27,953 --> 00:41:30,121 He was totally less worried than me about anything, you know? 480 00:41:30,188 --> 00:41:31,890 He was so... 481 00:41:31,957 --> 00:41:34,025 "I in my bunk! Is bumpy!" 482 00:41:34,092 --> 00:41:36,261 You know it's just like, fuck this is great! 483 00:41:36,327 --> 00:41:39,264 I can't believe we're on the road 484 00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:42,200 with this little jiggly guy, you know? 485 00:41:43,969 --> 00:41:46,204 What is that? 486 00:41:46,271 --> 00:41:50,341 Like bench press? Okay let's finish. What do you think? 487 00:41:52,410 --> 00:41:54,279 MOSS: Okay, I'm gonna go, sweet pea. 488 00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:56,047 I'm just going to go do the loading out 489 00:41:56,114 --> 00:41:57,348 and then I can see you right after. 490 00:41:58,049 --> 00:41:59,050 Okay? 491 00:42:00,318 --> 00:42:03,088 Wanna go outside too. 492 00:42:03,154 --> 00:42:05,757 You wanna go outside too? 493 00:42:05,824 --> 00:42:08,426 Sweetie, I know. It's gonna be short, I promise. 494 00:42:08,493 --> 00:42:10,929 It won't be hard today. Want you. 495 00:42:10,996 --> 00:42:12,130 I know baby. 496 00:42:12,798 --> 00:42:14,032 (MURMURS) 497 00:42:14,099 --> 00:42:16,602 Portland! Sneakers! 498 00:42:16,668 --> 00:42:18,604 MOSS: If I didn't take some morning times 499 00:42:18,670 --> 00:42:21,306 then Amber would never get time off, 500 00:42:21,372 --> 00:42:23,809 like on big driving days. 501 00:42:23,875 --> 00:42:25,711 That job is incredibly hard 502 00:42:25,777 --> 00:42:29,080 because you are working all the time. There are no days off. 503 00:42:29,915 --> 00:42:32,083 There's your pinecone. 504 00:42:32,150 --> 00:42:34,452 It's another gloomy post-rock number. 505 00:42:34,519 --> 00:42:36,622 MAN: Whoo! We like that. 506 00:42:38,590 --> 00:42:42,761 MOSS: The roles that we play in the band, they're very different. 507 00:42:42,828 --> 00:42:45,163 MENUCK: It's still totally unequal on the road 508 00:42:45,230 --> 00:42:49,067 and I think it always will be. 509 00:42:49,134 --> 00:42:51,637 MOSS: Like even... Not even just morning times, but just in general, 510 00:42:51,703 --> 00:42:56,074 being on tour, like the bulk of the parenting role will fall on me. 511 00:42:56,141 --> 00:42:58,076 ...no secular rock. (CROWD LAUGHS) 512 00:43:00,045 --> 00:43:03,514 MOSS: Efrim has, you know, a huge amount of mental strain 513 00:43:03,581 --> 00:43:08,119 to make the thing happen, to make the show happen. 514 00:43:08,186 --> 00:43:11,456 We're both working very hard but in very different ways. 515 00:43:13,892 --> 00:43:16,061 I joined the band. 516 00:43:16,127 --> 00:43:18,063 You joined the band? 517 00:43:23,034 --> 00:43:24,369 Jessica just quit. 518 00:43:24,435 --> 00:43:25,671 (CROWD LAUGHING) 519 00:43:29,507 --> 00:43:33,544 MOSS: But I think we are learning a language of how to make it feel 520 00:43:33,611 --> 00:43:38,149 like we're walking arm in arm as opposed to miles away from each other. 521 00:43:40,385 --> 00:43:44,322 * And the day has come 522 00:43:44,389 --> 00:43:49,494 * When we no longer feel 523 00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:54,632 * And the day has come 524 00:43:54,700 --> 00:44:00,271 * When we no longer feel 525 00:44:00,338 --> 00:44:05,043 * And the day has come 526 00:44:05,110 --> 00:44:10,281 * When we no longer feel 527 00:44:10,348 --> 00:44:15,620 * And the day has come 528 00:44:15,687 --> 00:44:20,525 * When we no longer feel 529 00:44:20,591 --> 00:44:25,764 * And the day has come 530 00:44:25,831 --> 00:44:31,036 * When we no longer feel 531 00:44:36,775 --> 00:44:38,744 (MAN SPEAKING) 532 00:44:38,810 --> 00:44:42,613 Uh, because they're made out of like very good material 533 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,950 so they won't fall apart. It's the bare truth. 534 00:44:45,016 --> 00:44:48,119 And they're environmentally sound and they're made in Canada. 535 00:44:48,186 --> 00:44:50,722 We could've gotten you a cheap Chinese t-shirt but we didn't. 536 00:44:50,789 --> 00:44:52,858 We're fairly ambivalent about the whole t-shirt thing 537 00:44:52,924 --> 00:44:55,060 but guess what? None you all buy records anymore, so... 538 00:44:58,329 --> 00:44:59,564 WOMAN: I do! 539 00:44:59,630 --> 00:45:01,499 I know some of you do. Sorry none of you. 540 00:45:01,566 --> 00:45:03,234 Most of you all don't buy records anymore. 541 00:45:03,301 --> 00:45:04,836 MAN 2: Can I download a shirt? 542 00:45:04,903 --> 00:45:07,005 You can download the shirt, yeah. 543 00:45:07,072 --> 00:45:08,073 (ALL LAUGHING) 544 00:45:11,843 --> 00:45:13,144 MENUCK: Piracy. 545 00:45:13,211 --> 00:45:15,280 I think the most important records 546 00:45:15,346 --> 00:45:17,582 that I ever heard in my life were things 547 00:45:17,648 --> 00:45:20,585 that I taped on cassette from people who had more money than me. 548 00:45:20,651 --> 00:45:22,553 I think that's a lovely thing. 549 00:45:26,191 --> 00:45:30,896 How do you make a living as an artist when everything is on the Internet for free? 550 00:45:30,962 --> 00:45:33,198 I have no problem with people getting stuff for free. 551 00:45:33,264 --> 00:45:35,433 It's just people are getting rich 552 00:45:35,500 --> 00:45:39,838 and it's not the people that are actually providing content for the Internet. 553 00:45:39,905 --> 00:45:41,372 It's Apple that's getting rich, 554 00:45:41,439 --> 00:45:43,108 it's the telecom giants who are getting rich, 555 00:45:43,174 --> 00:45:45,944 it's Samsung that's getting rich, it's... 556 00:45:46,011 --> 00:45:48,613 It's everybody but the people who are making stuff. 557 00:45:58,723 --> 00:46:03,194 Ten years ago we were earning twice to three times as much as we are right now. 558 00:46:08,666 --> 00:46:10,268 People stopped selling records 559 00:46:10,335 --> 00:46:14,272 and all of a sudden everyone decided to go on the road. 560 00:46:14,339 --> 00:46:17,375 So there's a lot more competition out there. 561 00:46:17,442 --> 00:46:21,079 If you live in any mid to large city 562 00:46:21,146 --> 00:46:23,514 in North America or Europe, it's a bounty. 563 00:46:23,581 --> 00:46:25,783 You know, pretty much every other night of the week 564 00:46:25,851 --> 00:46:29,487 there's an out-of-town band coming through that you could go see. 565 00:46:33,892 --> 00:46:35,660 Because there's so much competition now, 566 00:46:35,726 --> 00:46:37,495 you're getting more and more screwed at the end of the night 567 00:46:37,562 --> 00:46:39,197 because they can get away with it, you know? 568 00:46:39,264 --> 00:46:41,232 It's like you're not a scarce resource anymore, 569 00:46:41,299 --> 00:46:42,868 a band that could fill that hole. 570 00:46:42,934 --> 00:46:44,535 There are tons of bands that could fill that hole. 571 00:46:47,873 --> 00:46:50,175 It feels like the last days of vaudeville out there. 572 00:46:51,943 --> 00:46:54,345 One, two, check, one, two. 573 00:46:55,046 --> 00:46:56,381 (PLAYING) 574 00:47:04,956 --> 00:47:07,458 MENUCK: I'm super worried all the time. 575 00:47:07,525 --> 00:47:09,327 I mean, what else would I do? 576 00:47:09,394 --> 00:47:12,397 My resume right now would be as if I just got out of prison. 577 00:47:13,164 --> 00:47:14,632 (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) 578 00:47:22,773 --> 00:47:25,776 It's right here. We can get our supper right here. 579 00:47:30,281 --> 00:47:33,919 EZRA: What you talking about? What you talking about? 580 00:47:33,985 --> 00:47:36,487 MOSS: That's different than being a destination in Montreal... 581 00:47:36,554 --> 00:47:38,723 What you talking about? 582 00:47:38,789 --> 00:47:40,458 (PLAYING SAXOPHONE) 583 00:47:49,167 --> 00:47:52,971 MOSS: I'm so proud of my whole band for being so great with him 584 00:47:53,038 --> 00:47:54,672 and easy with him. 585 00:47:56,908 --> 00:48:00,845 I feel so unbelievably down-on-my-knees lucky 586 00:48:00,912 --> 00:48:02,847 that I get to keep doing what I'm doing. 587 00:48:04,682 --> 00:48:06,351 (INAUDIBLE) 588 00:48:09,354 --> 00:48:10,688 (LAUGHS) 589 00:48:21,866 --> 00:48:24,502 I really don't know if I can keep it going. 590 00:48:24,569 --> 00:48:26,704 I want to have some normalcy, you know? 591 00:48:26,771 --> 00:48:30,275 Just a little something. A little normalcy. 592 00:48:30,341 --> 00:48:32,443 I'd love to have children 593 00:48:32,510 --> 00:48:34,445 but I don't think that's going to happen for me 594 00:48:34,512 --> 00:48:35,846 so I would love to have a dog. 595 00:48:35,913 --> 00:48:38,549 I can't even have a dog right now. 596 00:48:38,616 --> 00:48:40,952 Men are able to stick with it for longer 597 00:48:41,019 --> 00:48:43,321 because they're not having the children. 598 00:48:43,388 --> 00:48:44,822 And that's what I've seen. 599 00:48:44,889 --> 00:48:47,058 I've seen it all across the board 600 00:48:47,125 --> 00:48:49,794 when women, at least in the music that I'm playing, 601 00:48:49,860 --> 00:48:53,298 start their families, they have to take a step back. 602 00:48:53,364 --> 00:48:56,167 And the men go on tour, they do all these things 603 00:48:56,234 --> 00:48:58,203 and they can have, you know, twelve kids 604 00:48:58,269 --> 00:49:03,074 because they've got their wife or girlfriend or you know, 605 00:49:03,141 --> 00:49:05,043 what have you, the mother of their children 606 00:49:05,110 --> 00:49:06,844 taking care of the basics. 607 00:49:06,911 --> 00:49:10,048 And I do... For what I do, if I have children 608 00:49:10,115 --> 00:49:11,882 I'd have to stop playing. 609 00:49:11,949 --> 00:49:13,851 I would actually have to get a job 610 00:49:13,918 --> 00:49:17,255 because for what I do I can barely support myself. 611 00:49:17,322 --> 00:49:21,659 Sometimes I look at biographies of famous opera singers 612 00:49:21,726 --> 00:49:24,462 and all these... I have always looked up to women in rock 613 00:49:24,529 --> 00:49:26,331 because they're more... 614 00:49:26,397 --> 00:49:28,866 But you look at them and you realize, 615 00:49:28,933 --> 00:49:33,404 "Oh, she didn't have any children, she didn't have a family, she didn't have..." 616 00:49:33,471 --> 00:49:37,142 I watched my mother raise, try to raise three children almost by herself 617 00:49:37,208 --> 00:49:39,977 and so to see that and go like, "Wow." 618 00:49:40,045 --> 00:49:42,747 And she never had the time to do anything for herself 619 00:49:42,813 --> 00:49:45,416 and yet was able to be so selfless 620 00:49:45,483 --> 00:49:49,220 and giving and that's what mothers do 621 00:49:49,287 --> 00:49:50,988 and I couldn't do that. 622 00:49:51,056 --> 00:49:53,958 I just couldn't. I don't have it in me 623 00:49:54,025 --> 00:49:56,094 because the work takes so much, 624 00:49:56,161 --> 00:49:58,263 I give so much to the work. 625 00:49:58,329 --> 00:50:01,766 (LAUGHING) 626 00:50:01,832 --> 00:50:05,636 MATANA ROBERTS: I know what it feels like to be loved by a mother 627 00:50:05,703 --> 00:50:07,905 and it's so powerful. 628 00:50:07,972 --> 00:50:11,176 Knowing what... And understanding that not all children get that. 629 00:50:11,242 --> 00:50:13,010 (KISSING) 630 00:50:15,180 --> 00:50:17,248 And I'm still feeding off of that, 631 00:50:17,315 --> 00:50:21,686 so many years, you know, later so it's just... 632 00:50:21,752 --> 00:50:23,721 I'm gonna cry now. Yeah, I'm gonna cry, too. 633 00:50:23,788 --> 00:50:25,590 Can we stop? Yup. 634 00:50:25,656 --> 00:50:27,725 Are you gonna have a nice sleep? 635 00:50:27,792 --> 00:50:29,660 Mmm-mmm. Have a bad sleep. 636 00:50:29,727 --> 00:50:31,262 You're gonna have a bad sleep? Yeah. 637 00:50:31,329 --> 00:50:33,764 Don't tell me that. Why are you gonna have a bad sleep? 638 00:50:33,831 --> 00:50:36,601 Because I think of things. 639 00:50:36,667 --> 00:50:37,902 (BABY TALK) 640 00:50:41,472 --> 00:50:43,308 Sweet pea, it's time to lie down. 641 00:50:43,374 --> 00:50:45,910 Okay? (EZRA TALKING INDISTINCTLY) 642 00:50:45,976 --> 00:50:47,044 Can you listen to Daddy? 643 00:50:51,249 --> 00:50:52,650 I a cat. 644 00:50:52,717 --> 00:50:54,485 You're a cat? Yeah. 645 00:50:54,552 --> 00:50:55,786 What sound does a cat make? 646 00:50:55,853 --> 00:50:56,921 Meow meow! 647 00:50:56,987 --> 00:50:58,123 That's right. 648 00:50:58,189 --> 00:51:00,125 You a dog. Woof. 649 00:51:01,392 --> 00:51:03,794 Cats don't like that sound. 650 00:51:03,861 --> 00:51:05,696 Ezra's don't like that sound either. 651 00:51:09,134 --> 00:51:10,735 I a cat. 652 00:51:14,439 --> 00:51:17,675 Up, down, up, down, up, down! 653 00:51:17,742 --> 00:51:20,345 Up, down, up, down, but not up, down. 654 00:51:20,911 --> 00:51:21,912 Down! 655 00:51:24,949 --> 00:51:28,253 MENUCK: You have to be 1000% on the side of humanity once you have a kid. 656 00:51:28,319 --> 00:51:32,523 You have to... You're like rooting for the home team like you never had before. 657 00:51:32,590 --> 00:51:34,692 What you did. I flopped you down like you asked. 658 00:51:34,759 --> 00:51:36,994 Which is a big adjustment. That's a heavy adjustment. 659 00:51:37,061 --> 00:51:38,996 For me that was the harder thing 660 00:51:39,063 --> 00:51:43,834 was having to, like, get rid of a lot of my own cynicism, you know? 661 00:51:43,901 --> 00:51:46,137 You have to be like, "No, things have to change, 662 00:51:46,204 --> 00:51:48,105 "things have to get better 'cause this little 663 00:51:48,173 --> 00:51:51,842 "innocent creature has to grow up into a world that's 664 00:51:51,909 --> 00:51:54,879 "better than the one he was born into." 665 00:51:54,945 --> 00:51:57,415 All right, I'm gonna put night lights on, are you ready? 666 00:52:10,428 --> 00:52:12,963 * Go forth, man 667 00:52:13,030 --> 00:52:15,233 * Get down 668 00:52:15,300 --> 00:52:20,805 * With a mighty fist and a retarded crown 669 00:52:20,871 --> 00:52:24,242 * Do the one-step, the two-step 670 00:52:24,309 --> 00:52:26,344 * Sweet jubilee 671 00:52:26,411 --> 00:52:30,147 * And show me the light, goddamn 672 00:52:48,799 --> 00:52:51,636 * Tell me 673 00:52:52,837 --> 00:52:57,475 * There is a light 674 00:52:59,977 --> 00:53:03,814 * Tell me 675 00:53:03,881 --> 00:53:07,151 * There is a light 676 00:53:12,423 --> 00:53:14,492 Hi. Hi. 677 00:53:14,559 --> 00:53:18,062 Got a balloon in my bottom. 678 00:53:18,729 --> 00:53:19,930 Hi. 679 00:53:19,997 --> 00:53:21,732 Happy birthday, Thierry. 680 00:53:21,799 --> 00:53:22,800 Happy birthday. 681 00:53:24,535 --> 00:53:26,136 Happy birthday. ALL: Happy birthday. 682 00:53:26,203 --> 00:53:27,738 Happy birthday, Thierry. 683 00:53:27,805 --> 00:53:29,274 Cheers. 684 00:53:29,340 --> 00:53:31,175 I couldn't imagine a better birthday 685 00:53:31,242 --> 00:53:33,010 than to be here with you guys. 686 00:53:34,111 --> 00:53:36,146 You don't wanna cheers that. 687 00:53:36,213 --> 00:53:37,648 Sante. 688 00:53:37,715 --> 00:53:38,783 One more cheers, buddy? 689 00:53:38,849 --> 00:53:39,984 Thanks. 690 00:53:40,050 --> 00:53:42,152 Yay! Cheers! Cheers! 691 00:53:44,088 --> 00:53:45,490 Yeah. 692 00:53:45,556 --> 00:53:47,191 Everybody in the bus! 693 00:53:47,258 --> 00:53:49,260 Yeah. That's right, that never happens. 694 00:54:00,371 --> 00:54:05,576 * Some! Hearts! Are! True! 695 00:54:05,643 --> 00:54:11,282 * Some! Hearts! Are! True! 696 00:54:11,349 --> 00:54:16,854 * Some! Hearts! Are! True! 697 00:54:16,921 --> 00:54:22,893 * Some! Hearts! Are! True! 698 00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:29,133 * Some! Hearts! Are! True! 699 00:54:29,199 --> 00:54:35,373 * Some! Hearts! Are! True! 700 00:54:39,910 --> 00:54:43,047 MOSS: I don't want things to end. 701 00:54:43,113 --> 00:54:46,517 You know, now I want to bring Ezra everywhere and I want to go on tour with him. 702 00:54:48,853 --> 00:54:50,488 I just want to work. I just want to do it. 703 00:54:50,555 --> 00:54:52,022 I just want to do it while we can 704 00:54:52,089 --> 00:54:54,291 'cause who knows how long we can do it. 705 00:55:03,133 --> 00:55:06,771 MENUCK: Half my brain now was occupied with the hustle, you know? 706 00:55:08,539 --> 00:55:11,509 I'm on the hustle all the time. I'm just always like, 707 00:55:11,576 --> 00:55:15,212 "What's the next gig?" You know, like, "When's the next tour?" 708 00:55:25,055 --> 00:55:28,225 Every other tour our booker will come out and say, you know, 709 00:55:28,292 --> 00:55:31,095 "If you raised your ticket price by three dollars 710 00:55:31,161 --> 00:55:35,265 "you'd make this much more on the tour," you know, and... 711 00:55:35,332 --> 00:55:38,836 And we say, "Yeah, we know." 712 00:55:38,903 --> 00:55:41,906 It's obscene what people charge for shows these days. 713 00:55:42,607 --> 00:55:44,174 It's not right. 714 00:55:44,241 --> 00:55:45,643 Especially when people have to 715 00:55:46,377 --> 00:55:47,978 work so hard for $50. 716 00:55:48,045 --> 00:55:50,014 It's just... It's never going to be right. 717 00:56:09,233 --> 00:56:11,168 MOSS: Okay. EZRA: Caught a piggy. 718 00:56:11,235 --> 00:56:13,170 I caught a piggy! 719 00:56:13,237 --> 00:56:14,238 MOSS: Where's your band? 720 00:56:15,105 --> 00:56:17,408 Oh, wait over there. 721 00:56:17,475 --> 00:56:19,777 MOSS: Okay, go for it. Caught a piggy. 722 00:56:19,844 --> 00:56:22,947 Caught a piggy! Caught a piggy! 723 00:56:23,781 --> 00:56:26,350 (EZRA SPEAKING) 724 00:56:27,518 --> 00:56:30,054 MOSS: I'm just looking for the plug. 725 00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:32,222 EZRA: What? What are you looking for? 726 00:56:32,289 --> 00:56:33,424 MOSS: I'm looking for the plug. 727 00:56:34,492 --> 00:56:36,126 EZRA: What are you looking for? 728 00:56:36,193 --> 00:56:40,030 MOSS: There used to be a part of my life where I did playing 729 00:56:40,097 --> 00:56:41,899 with other people and in other projects 730 00:56:41,966 --> 00:56:44,168 and for other people's records, and I 731 00:56:44,234 --> 00:56:48,272 really haven't gotten a phone call for that since Ezra was born. 732 00:56:48,338 --> 00:56:50,207 (PLAYING HARMONICAS) 733 00:57:00,551 --> 00:57:03,153 NADIA: Ez, is that my hair brush? No. 734 00:57:03,220 --> 00:57:04,221 Is it your hair brush? 735 00:57:04,288 --> 00:57:06,591 It's... It's boring. 736 00:57:06,657 --> 00:57:07,692 It's boring? 737 00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:09,259 Yeah. Why is it boring? 738 00:57:11,261 --> 00:57:14,064 MOSS: For Ezra I want a sibling. 739 00:57:14,131 --> 00:57:16,934 I do think about that a lot. Mmm-hmm. 740 00:57:17,001 --> 00:57:19,069 I had a conversation with Dave actually, 741 00:57:19,136 --> 00:57:20,771 while we were on tour. 742 00:57:20,838 --> 00:57:23,307 He sort of like, "Yeah, I can imagine, there's Ezra and there's another one." 743 00:57:23,373 --> 00:57:25,576 He could actually... Yeah. On tour? 744 00:57:25,643 --> 00:57:27,177 I can imagine it too. 745 00:57:27,244 --> 00:57:30,247 I kind of understand why you want to prepare yourself for 746 00:57:30,314 --> 00:57:33,017 having to not be able to do it, but I also feel like 747 00:57:34,652 --> 00:57:36,721 maybe you shouldn't. 748 00:57:36,787 --> 00:57:38,422 You mean I should be doing the opposite? 749 00:57:38,489 --> 00:57:39,690 I think you should be doing the opposite. 750 00:57:39,757 --> 00:57:41,726 I can't imagine him not having somebody 751 00:57:41,792 --> 00:57:44,829 to make fun of his parents with, you know? 752 00:57:44,895 --> 00:57:47,164 Like it's such a crucial aspect, you know? Yeah. 753 00:58:41,652 --> 00:58:42,887 MOSS: I'll blow on it, okay? 754 00:58:44,722 --> 00:58:46,591 Why you gonna blow on that? 755 00:58:47,625 --> 00:58:49,059 Why you gonna blow on that? 756 00:58:49,126 --> 00:58:50,961 'Cause it can help make you feel better. 757 00:58:51,829 --> 00:58:53,263 Ezra, here's some corn. 758 00:58:53,330 --> 00:58:54,765 Hello! Hello. 759 00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:57,234 Thank you. You're welcome. 760 00:58:57,301 --> 00:58:59,970 Are we going eat two cob on the corns? 761 00:59:00,037 --> 00:59:01,939 Are we gonna eat two corn on the cobs? Yeah. 762 00:59:02,006 --> 00:59:04,074 Well, first you're gonna eat one, 763 00:59:04,141 --> 00:59:05,542 and then you eat the rest of your supper 764 00:59:05,610 --> 00:59:07,477 and then you can eat another one. 765 00:59:07,544 --> 00:59:09,479 EZRA: Why? MOSS: 'Cause that's how it works. 766 00:59:13,517 --> 00:59:14,518 (CLANKING) 767 00:59:48,152 --> 00:59:49,319 (MUSIC PLAYING) 768 00:59:57,461 --> 00:59:59,630 MOSS: There was a lot of people on the street that 769 00:59:59,697 --> 01:00:01,265 wouldn't normally be on the street, 770 01:00:01,331 --> 01:00:03,033 protesting for the first time, 771 01:00:03,100 --> 01:00:05,535 and that's a beautiful thing. 772 01:00:05,602 --> 01:00:09,439 It's like a momentary glimpse of what it could be like 773 01:00:09,506 --> 01:00:11,108 when you can know your neighbors, 774 01:00:11,175 --> 01:00:12,609 when we all march together. 775 01:00:14,912 --> 01:00:16,513 MENUCK: "We've been going with Ezra to the park 776 01:00:16,580 --> 01:00:19,717 "at the end of our street at 8:00 p.m. every night. 777 01:00:19,784 --> 01:00:21,786 "I guess there's gonna be a whole generation of kids 778 01:00:21,852 --> 01:00:25,089 "raised in this ridiculous, neglected jewel of a town 779 01:00:25,155 --> 01:00:27,658 "who'll have fuzzy memories about the month they got to go to the park 780 01:00:27,725 --> 01:00:29,359 "that one summertime, 781 01:00:29,426 --> 01:00:30,895 "when all the grownups were making noise 782 01:00:30,961 --> 01:00:33,630 "with pot lids and everyone was serious, 783 01:00:33,698 --> 01:00:35,465 "but everyone was smiling too. 784 01:00:37,234 --> 01:00:39,670 "There's so many teary moments in all of this. 785 01:00:39,737 --> 01:00:42,206 "I'm crying all the time. I'm smiling all the time. 786 01:00:42,272 --> 01:00:45,542 "I know it's going to end. I don't want it to end." 787 01:00:45,609 --> 01:00:46,811 Whoo! 788 01:00:51,515 --> 01:00:53,417 MOSS: I find inspiration 789 01:00:53,483 --> 01:00:55,986 from activists, from people who work 790 01:00:56,053 --> 01:00:57,654 to challenge and change. 791 01:01:01,058 --> 01:01:03,393 MENUCK: I actually think I was a member of the last generation 792 01:01:03,460 --> 01:01:05,195 that was promised a better future, 793 01:01:05,262 --> 01:01:07,798 and I think successive generations have been 794 01:01:07,865 --> 01:01:09,199 promised the opposite of that. 795 01:01:18,342 --> 01:01:20,077 (TALKING INDISTINCTLY) 796 01:01:21,946 --> 01:01:24,581 MOSS: That last tour with Ezra went like a million times 797 01:01:24,648 --> 01:01:26,516 better and smoother 798 01:01:26,583 --> 01:01:28,318 than I was worried it would, 799 01:01:28,385 --> 01:01:32,522 and it made... Made the whole thing seem more possible. 800 01:01:32,589 --> 01:01:35,392 MENUCK: He's growing so quickly that it's different month by month. 801 01:01:35,459 --> 01:01:37,361 He did great three months ago. 802 01:01:37,427 --> 01:01:38,863 I don't know how he's going to do 803 01:01:38,929 --> 01:01:39,964 four months from now. 804 01:01:41,465 --> 01:01:43,400 But, for me, now that he's an older kid, you know, 805 01:01:43,467 --> 01:01:45,369 he's able to express himself 806 01:01:46,203 --> 01:01:47,704 and say what he needs 807 01:01:47,772 --> 01:01:50,074 and that's just going to get more and better. 808 01:01:50,140 --> 01:01:52,276 But that comes part and parcel with he has opinions too, 809 01:01:52,342 --> 01:01:54,578 and he has fears, that's the biggest thing, you know? 810 01:01:55,645 --> 01:01:57,414 You know? 811 01:01:57,481 --> 01:01:59,583 He does talk a lot about wanting to go on tour right now, that's for sure. 812 01:01:59,649 --> 01:02:01,585 Mmm-hmm. 813 01:02:01,651 --> 01:02:06,256 He talks a lot about wanting to go to the doctor too, though. 814 01:02:06,323 --> 01:02:09,960 If we have to figure out how to do it without him, then... 815 01:02:11,361 --> 01:02:12,496 I mean, we're about to try. 816 01:02:12,562 --> 01:02:15,499 And we're about to try an eight night... 817 01:02:15,565 --> 01:02:18,769 He'll be on his own for eight nights. 818 01:02:18,836 --> 01:02:22,472 Um, I feel like right now that's definitely the maximum 819 01:02:22,539 --> 01:02:24,074 amount of days, do you agree? 820 01:02:24,141 --> 01:02:25,142 Yeah. 821 01:02:26,410 --> 01:02:28,779 If we had to stop touring with him, 822 01:02:28,846 --> 01:02:31,015 but I don't want to do that, so... 823 01:02:31,081 --> 01:02:33,884 But at the same time we can't afford to tour with him. 824 01:02:33,951 --> 01:02:35,820 It's a real reality, you know. 825 01:02:35,886 --> 01:02:37,855 We make a little bit of money, but not very much 826 01:02:37,922 --> 01:02:40,791 because we have to pay for the nanny and we have to pay for the tour bus. 827 01:02:43,193 --> 01:02:44,194 (SIGHS) 828 01:02:48,498 --> 01:02:50,534 I mean, the tension of all this is being amplified 'cause there's 829 01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:52,436 a microphone and a camera in here. 830 01:02:52,502 --> 01:02:53,503 Of course. 831 01:02:55,405 --> 01:02:57,374 Of course. 832 01:02:57,441 --> 01:03:00,144 Of course I want to keep going. I just like, you know... 833 01:03:01,578 --> 01:03:03,047 It gets into bigger issues, you know. 834 01:03:03,113 --> 01:03:05,816 It just mostly gets into issues like 835 01:03:05,883 --> 01:03:07,852 how do we keep getting by, you know? 836 01:03:07,918 --> 01:03:11,021 And I feel like most of that falls on me. 837 01:03:11,088 --> 01:03:13,891 Most of that worry falls on me. 838 01:03:13,958 --> 01:03:15,960 But it definitely harshes my mellow in terms of, like, 839 01:03:16,026 --> 01:03:18,628 "Oh, that's great, we did a tour with Ezra, it worked out great," 840 01:03:18,695 --> 01:03:20,064 you know. 841 01:03:20,130 --> 01:03:21,565 It's like, "Yeah, it worked out great. 842 01:03:21,631 --> 01:03:23,934 "We made a grand and a half each, you know." 843 01:03:24,634 --> 01:03:25,635 That's not... 844 01:03:28,272 --> 01:03:31,141 That's not a viable plan moving forward, you know. 845 01:03:31,208 --> 01:03:32,977 Unless we allow for the grants 846 01:03:33,043 --> 01:03:35,980 that we didn't apply for for ten years as a band until we... 847 01:03:36,046 --> 01:03:37,381 I don't want to... I don't want to be... 848 01:03:37,447 --> 01:03:39,116 I want to be a band that pays its own way, you know? 849 01:03:39,183 --> 01:03:41,018 I don't want to take government money. 850 01:03:41,085 --> 01:03:43,787 On top of that you can't count on it, you know? 851 01:03:43,854 --> 01:03:46,790 On top of that there are bands who need it more, you know? 852 01:03:47,624 --> 01:03:49,759 Like who? 853 01:03:49,826 --> 01:03:52,429 I don't know them, that's why they need it more, you know? 854 01:03:52,496 --> 01:03:57,467 I don't think it's a role of government to subsidize a failing band, you know? 855 01:03:57,534 --> 01:03:59,836 That's how I feel. That's how I've always felt. 856 01:04:04,174 --> 01:04:06,977 I think it would be suicide to keep doing it as a full time thing. 857 01:04:07,044 --> 01:04:09,746 'Cause even with the grants it's not enough money, you know? 858 01:04:09,813 --> 01:04:10,814 So... 859 01:04:13,283 --> 01:04:15,252 We're still the luckiest band in the world. 860 01:04:15,319 --> 01:04:16,921 I mean, we'll be fine. 861 01:04:18,655 --> 01:04:20,190 (SIGHS) 862 01:04:20,257 --> 01:04:22,492 There's a romantic part of me that thinks 863 01:04:25,662 --> 01:04:29,133 that it's worth it 864 01:04:29,199 --> 01:04:31,635 at whatever cost, you know? 865 01:04:31,701 --> 01:04:33,370 But I know that that's not very practical. 866 01:04:33,437 --> 01:04:34,972 But there are other bands who share those... 867 01:04:35,039 --> 01:04:37,007 That's the point. We're just one of many, you know. 868 01:04:37,074 --> 01:04:38,909 Like, that's okay. 869 01:04:38,976 --> 01:04:41,845 If it all ended tomorrow it'd be okay, you know? 870 01:04:41,912 --> 01:04:44,748 I mean, we're just another fucking band, you know. 871 01:04:46,550 --> 01:04:47,651 So... 872 01:04:47,717 --> 01:04:49,386 Except, on other days you say, 873 01:04:49,453 --> 01:04:50,820 "We're the best band in the world!" 874 01:04:50,887 --> 01:04:52,522 Yeah, but every band's got to go through life 875 01:04:52,589 --> 01:04:53,690 thinking that, you know? 876 01:04:53,757 --> 01:04:55,559 To keep going. Yeah. 877 01:04:55,625 --> 01:04:56,660 Yeah. 878 01:05:27,091 --> 01:05:29,093 MOSS: It was kind of a crash. 879 01:05:32,662 --> 01:05:35,265 I had to accept the realization that 880 01:05:35,332 --> 01:05:38,468 I can't pick up where I left off. 881 01:05:38,535 --> 01:05:41,605 Will is not enough to make this stuff happen. 882 01:05:45,775 --> 01:05:49,379 You can go... You can go all by yourself. 883 01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:51,115 JOAN MOSS: Really? 884 01:05:53,783 --> 01:05:55,819 I... I did it for... 885 01:06:01,591 --> 01:06:05,695 Remember when we were playing, me, you and Oscar? 886 01:06:05,762 --> 01:06:09,299 And I had to be the monster eating up the potatoes. 887 01:06:09,366 --> 01:06:12,802 So you could be a little bit sad when Mommy and Daddy go away, 888 01:06:12,869 --> 01:06:14,804 and then when they come back 889 01:06:14,871 --> 01:06:18,575 do you have big, huge hugs for them? Eh? 890 01:06:18,642 --> 01:06:22,612 So when you're a grownup, are you going to have to go to work sometimes? 891 01:06:22,679 --> 01:06:25,549 And what will your little boy do? 892 01:06:25,615 --> 01:06:27,284 EZRA: Going be sad. 893 01:06:27,351 --> 01:06:29,953 He's going to be sad. But then... 894 01:06:30,020 --> 01:06:31,988 Whoa, whoa... (JOAN LAUGHS) 895 01:06:32,889 --> 01:06:35,092 I'm getting so tired. 896 01:06:35,159 --> 01:06:39,496 * Sleepwalking, sleep talking 897 01:06:39,563 --> 01:06:41,465 * When all she looks at you to see 898 01:06:41,531 --> 01:06:43,467 * A faded page of memories 899 01:06:43,533 --> 01:06:46,903 * Sleepwalking, sleep talking 900 01:06:46,970 --> 01:06:48,272 * About you 901 01:06:50,907 --> 01:06:53,677 * Sleepwalking, sleep talking * 902 01:07:04,088 --> 01:07:06,890 * What do you do when you don't belong? 903 01:07:08,292 --> 01:07:09,759 * You're in your corner 904 01:07:09,826 --> 01:07:12,529 * What do you say when you're always wrong? 905 01:07:13,530 --> 01:07:14,964 * Is it any wonder 906 01:07:15,031 --> 01:07:18,202 * Day and night, it's night and day * 907 01:07:37,721 --> 01:07:39,756 MOSS: Maybe we'll be lucky enough to have more opportunities 908 01:07:39,823 --> 01:07:42,659 where we can tour for one week or ten days at a time. NADIA: Yeah. 909 01:07:42,726 --> 01:07:45,829 Where we can just leave him with Mum, who's... 910 01:07:45,895 --> 01:07:48,965 Oh, my God, without her, where would we be? Yeah. 911 01:07:49,032 --> 01:07:52,068 So, I'm planning on looking for work in September. Mmm-hmm. 912 01:07:52,136 --> 01:07:55,539 Um, well, I guess that's really soon. 913 01:07:55,605 --> 01:07:58,375 'Cause that's where I'm at. 'Cause we're gonna be... 914 01:07:58,442 --> 01:08:01,711 You know, Ezra and I are going to be home a lot. 915 01:08:01,778 --> 01:08:03,380 He'll be in daycare, you know. 916 01:08:03,447 --> 01:08:07,251 Who knows if I'll ever be able to not have a job again after now? 917 01:08:07,317 --> 01:08:09,886 Yeah. Who knows? 918 01:08:09,953 --> 01:08:12,922 You know, I didn't know I would be at this position at this age, but... 919 01:08:12,989 --> 01:08:15,992 Like you thought you'd probably be in a career that made you money? 920 01:08:16,059 --> 01:08:17,861 No, I don't know what I thought. 921 01:08:17,927 --> 01:08:21,131 Actually, I don't know what I thought. I don't know. 922 01:08:21,198 --> 01:08:23,867 I just sort of was just doing this band thing 923 01:08:23,933 --> 01:08:27,371 and year after year it kept being the thing... Enough. 924 01:08:27,437 --> 01:08:29,105 (CHILDREN TALKING INDISTINCTLY) 925 01:08:31,941 --> 01:08:33,076 What if it chews on something? 926 01:08:33,143 --> 01:08:35,712 It's not going to. Cats aren't dumb. 927 01:08:35,779 --> 01:08:37,747 Yeah, I'm so excited! 928 01:08:37,814 --> 01:08:41,084 There's a good amount of fans out there that are gonna get really excited. 929 01:08:41,151 --> 01:08:43,587 I think we should do a couple of fliggle wiggles. 930 01:08:43,653 --> 01:08:44,654 Yeah. 931 01:08:44,721 --> 01:08:46,223 BOY: Do the fliggle wiggle. 932 01:08:47,657 --> 01:08:49,092 (SINGING) 933 01:09:02,472 --> 01:09:05,041 It was really moving seeing you being in charge of them. 934 01:09:05,108 --> 01:09:07,544 Oh, really? Like, Ezra definitely has 935 01:09:07,611 --> 01:09:10,680 changed me in that I'm not shy around children anymore. Yeah. 936 01:09:10,747 --> 01:09:11,748 (ALL CHEERING) 937 01:09:17,020 --> 01:09:18,455 (SINGING) 938 01:09:24,661 --> 01:09:26,129 It was good. Yeah, yeah. 939 01:09:26,196 --> 01:09:28,732 So he got hassled, but we were okay. 940 01:09:28,798 --> 01:09:34,371 JULIE DOIRON: I feel guilty about my path I took as a mother. 941 01:09:35,004 --> 01:09:36,606 (SINGING) 942 01:09:53,857 --> 01:09:56,025 I kept touring. 943 01:09:56,092 --> 01:09:58,562 My husband at the time really, really encouraged me to keep touring. 944 01:09:58,628 --> 01:10:00,830 He didn't want me to ever, like, resent... 945 01:10:00,897 --> 01:10:02,399 He didn't want me to give up what I was doing, 946 01:10:02,466 --> 01:10:04,601 'cause I was already a touring musician before I had kids. 947 01:10:04,668 --> 01:10:09,306 In hindsight, I really wish that I had not kept touring. 948 01:10:09,373 --> 01:10:11,308 I say that to people sometimes and they say, 949 01:10:11,375 --> 01:10:13,377 "Well, you're crazy. You don't really wish that. 950 01:10:13,443 --> 01:10:15,945 "Do you really wish that you had stopped music?" 951 01:10:16,012 --> 01:10:19,816 And ultimately, like, I missed out on a lot of stuff 952 01:10:19,883 --> 01:10:21,651 and you can't really... 953 01:10:21,718 --> 01:10:24,588 I mean, I can't ever go back that way. 954 01:10:25,555 --> 01:10:28,091 I often feel like I'm a fraud 955 01:10:28,157 --> 01:10:30,460 because I feel like people have 956 01:10:30,527 --> 01:10:32,562 sort of looked up to me for advice 957 01:10:32,629 --> 01:10:34,698 or they see... 958 01:10:34,764 --> 01:10:37,601 Like I know that people probably go, "Okay, well, Julie Doiron, 959 01:10:37,667 --> 01:10:39,235 "she did have kids 960 01:10:39,303 --> 01:10:41,070 "and she's still touring, like, she's doing it all 961 01:10:41,137 --> 01:10:42,606 "and so can I." 962 01:10:42,672 --> 01:10:45,509 It may look like an ideal situation, 963 01:10:45,575 --> 01:10:47,477 but, like, I ruined my marriage, 964 01:10:47,544 --> 01:10:51,381 and I lost custody of my children, and so I... 965 01:10:51,448 --> 01:10:54,017 Yes, I have three amazing kids 966 01:10:54,083 --> 01:10:56,052 who love me, and they know I'm their mom, 967 01:10:56,119 --> 01:10:58,688 and now I have to tour way more because 968 01:10:58,755 --> 01:11:01,190 I have all these other bills. 969 01:11:01,257 --> 01:11:04,227 If I'm not on the road I don't have any money. 970 01:11:04,294 --> 01:11:06,430 My kids tell me over and over, like, 971 01:11:06,496 --> 01:11:07,931 "You're always going to be our mom. 972 01:11:07,997 --> 01:11:09,599 "Like, we understand that you're gone." 973 01:11:09,666 --> 01:11:12,436 But I constantly feel guilty about not being there. 974 01:11:15,972 --> 01:11:18,041 Talking about this right now is making me feel amazing 975 01:11:18,107 --> 01:11:20,677 and maybe I won't feel depressed for the next week. 976 01:11:20,744 --> 01:11:22,278 That's great. 977 01:11:22,346 --> 01:11:24,548 And I'm just realizing like maybe women should be getting... 978 01:11:24,614 --> 01:11:27,283 Well, obviously women should be getting together way more often 979 01:11:27,351 --> 01:11:28,852 to talk about all this stuff. 980 01:11:28,918 --> 01:11:32,622 You need so much help to be able to continue to 981 01:11:32,689 --> 01:11:35,392 have a... To have creative output 982 01:11:35,459 --> 01:11:36,960 and to be a mother. 983 01:11:37,026 --> 01:11:39,128 You can't focus 100% on your art 984 01:11:39,195 --> 01:11:40,797 and also be a mother. 985 01:11:40,864 --> 01:11:42,999 I don't actually think that's humanly possible 986 01:11:43,066 --> 01:11:44,300 or physically possible. Right. 987 01:11:48,071 --> 01:11:50,106 MOSS: The degree to which 988 01:11:50,173 --> 01:11:51,808 privilege and circumstance 989 01:11:51,875 --> 01:11:54,378 play in us being able to do what we do. 990 01:11:56,112 --> 01:11:58,348 Childcare. Access to healthcare. 991 01:11:58,415 --> 01:12:00,149 Most people in the world don't have that. 992 01:12:00,216 --> 01:12:02,886 And it's only because of these things that I have this luxury 993 01:12:02,952 --> 01:12:05,789 to take a step back 994 01:12:05,855 --> 01:12:08,925 to consider trying to be a mother and a creative person. 995 01:12:08,992 --> 01:12:11,260 I am overwhelmed by gratitude for that. 996 01:12:25,308 --> 01:12:29,112 MENUCK: I don't live a healthy life and I want to live a long time 997 01:12:29,178 --> 01:12:32,549 'cause I want to see my kid get older, you know? 998 01:12:32,616 --> 01:12:35,619 I mean, I live the life of a musician 999 01:12:35,685 --> 01:12:37,654 and it's not a healthy life. 1000 01:12:40,524 --> 01:12:43,660 People die in their fifties and sixties just from staying on the road. 1001 01:12:43,727 --> 01:12:45,128 That's a real thing. 1002 01:12:48,498 --> 01:12:51,968 All I do is tour and rehearse and worry about money. 1003 01:12:52,035 --> 01:12:56,205 In spite of all that, I love Ezra so much, I love Jessica so much. 1004 01:12:56,272 --> 01:12:58,675 I like who I am more than I ever have, 1005 01:12:58,742 --> 01:13:00,844 and I like being a father. 1006 01:13:00,910 --> 01:13:03,012 All that matters to me now is that Ezra stays happy 1007 01:13:03,079 --> 01:13:04,981 and that Jessica has as much time as she needs 1008 01:13:05,048 --> 01:13:07,283 to figure out what she wants to do. 1009 01:13:07,350 --> 01:13:09,218 Everything else is just noise. 1010 01:13:09,285 --> 01:13:12,489 * What we loved was not enough 1011 01:13:14,624 --> 01:13:17,894 * Even though we wanted to 1012 01:13:40,484 --> 01:13:43,419 * And this I learned and thus I gleaned 1013 01:13:45,121 --> 01:13:48,224 (SINGING) 1014 01:13:55,431 --> 01:13:58,401 * Kiss it quick and rise again * 1015 01:14:06,342 --> 01:14:10,747 MOSS: I don't know if I can start something new, you know what I mean? 1016 01:14:10,814 --> 01:14:13,817 To imagine starting something, like to conceive of 1017 01:14:13,883 --> 01:14:16,252 beginning is very daunting. 1018 01:14:16,319 --> 01:14:18,321 Like starting something artistically, we're sort of... 1019 01:14:18,387 --> 01:14:20,924 We're in that now, we're doing it, so that's one thing. 1020 01:14:20,990 --> 01:14:23,693 But you mean starting it like trying to get 1021 01:14:23,760 --> 01:14:26,696 to a place where we can have shows that don't lose money? 1022 01:14:26,763 --> 01:14:28,598 It's not open to us 1023 01:14:28,665 --> 01:14:30,233 to be a young band trying to make it. 1024 01:14:30,299 --> 01:14:32,536 It's just, even if we tried, 1025 01:14:32,602 --> 01:14:34,070 it's not a door that's open. 1026 01:14:34,137 --> 01:14:36,940 Nothing, no part of this culture is like, 1027 01:14:37,006 --> 01:14:39,909 "Older women artists, let's see what you got!" 1028 01:14:39,976 --> 01:14:41,511 I know. 1029 01:14:41,578 --> 01:14:44,480 Like zero, zero, zero part of this culture. Exactly. 1030 01:14:44,548 --> 01:14:46,249 All I want to do right now is play guitar, 1031 01:14:46,315 --> 01:14:47,817 which has come from us being together. 1032 01:14:47,884 --> 01:14:50,520 I know, it really has made me so happy. 1033 01:14:50,587 --> 01:14:51,755 It's been so fun. 1034 01:14:55,592 --> 01:14:59,095 MOSS: Everything in the world tells me it's bad to get old. 1035 01:14:59,162 --> 01:15:01,865 But every single one of us is doing it, 1036 01:15:01,931 --> 01:15:03,533 so how could that be bad? 1037 01:15:12,175 --> 01:15:14,077 Oh, my God! 1038 01:15:14,911 --> 01:15:16,312 (MOSS LAUGHING) 1039 01:15:17,346 --> 01:15:19,015 EZRA: I'm happy to see you. 1040 01:15:19,082 --> 01:15:22,619 MOSS: I'm so happy to see you! 1041 01:15:22,686 --> 01:15:24,020 We just came back to find you. 1042 01:15:26,222 --> 01:15:27,724 JOAN: Are you happy to see Mommy? 1043 01:15:34,430 --> 01:15:35,865 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 1044 01:15:42,038 --> 01:15:43,406 (PLAYING HARMONICAS) 1045 01:15:47,944 --> 01:15:50,079 Why you closing your eyes? 1046 01:15:50,146 --> 01:15:52,548 When I really feel the music I close my eyes. 1047 01:16:15,772 --> 01:16:17,406 (BOTH VOCALIZING) 1048 01:16:20,476 --> 01:16:22,011 (MUSIC PLAYING) 1049 01:16:36,660 --> 01:16:39,929 MOSS: You know what, I think it sounds okay if it's a little... 1050 01:16:39,996 --> 01:16:41,330 Screechy? 1051 01:16:41,397 --> 01:16:44,367 * Lord let my son live long enough 1052 01:16:44,433 --> 01:16:47,370 * To see that mountain torn down 1053 01:16:47,436 --> 01:16:48,537 * Lord 1054 01:16:48,604 --> 01:16:52,108 (SINGING) 1055 01:16:56,545 --> 01:16:58,381 * Let my son 1056 01:16:58,447 --> 01:17:00,316 * Live long enough 1057 01:17:00,383 --> 01:17:03,486 * To see that mountain torn down 1058 01:17:03,552 --> 01:17:05,054 * Lord 1059 01:17:05,121 --> 01:17:07,590 (PLAYING RECORDER) 1060 01:17:12,996 --> 01:17:14,698 (EZRA SPEAKING) 1061 01:17:14,764 --> 01:17:15,799 No, I don't. 1062 01:17:16,432 --> 01:17:18,634 (EZRA SPEAKING) 1063 01:17:18,702 --> 01:17:19,803 Yes, you do. Yeah. 1064 01:17:19,869 --> 01:17:20,870 Yeah. 1065 01:17:21,404 --> 01:17:22,405 Oh. 1066 01:17:24,207 --> 01:17:25,875 (PLAYING DRUM) 1067 01:17:34,550 --> 01:17:36,485 That's a really good beat, Ezra. 1068 01:17:42,625 --> 01:17:44,093 (EZRA SPEAKING) 1069 01:17:44,928 --> 01:17:46,629 That's it. 1070 01:17:46,696 --> 01:17:48,331 This is it. The end.