1 00:00:06,365 --> 00:00:08,789 [alarm sounding] 2 00:00:08,867 --> 00:00:10,891 ["Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet playing] 3 00:00:12,146 --> 00:00:14,313 Got to look good today. 4 00:00:14,388 --> 00:00:16,147 I'm asking Amy to the prom. 5 00:00:16,298 --> 00:00:17,983 [squeaking] 6 00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:19,725 I meant school Amy. 7 00:00:19,803 --> 00:00:21,320 Not you, Amy. 8 00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:22,778 ♪ Oh ♪ 9 00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:31,978 ♪ I said, are you gonna be my girl? ♪ 10 00:00:32,057 --> 00:00:33,189 Okay, just act cool. 11 00:00:33,191 --> 00:00:35,000 Hey, Amy, you promming? 12 00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:36,408 I... [groans] 13 00:00:36,485 --> 00:00:38,820 So, Amy, some of your hair got caught in your locker 14 00:00:38,896 --> 00:00:39,728 and I took it. 15 00:00:39,731 --> 00:00:40,914 No! No! God, no! 16 00:00:40,990 --> 00:00:43,750 [mother] Andrew, there's someone to see you! 17 00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:44,801 [both squeak] 18 00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:48,496 You've been served, starter stache. 19 00:00:48,573 --> 00:00:50,423 Wh-What is this, Dad? 20 00:00:50,799 --> 00:00:52,392 That's a subpoena. 21 00:00:52,468 --> 00:00:55,469 You've been called as a surprise witness in court today. 22 00:00:55,546 --> 00:00:56,804 I can't go to court. 23 00:00:56,881 --> 00:00:58,823 I spent all my after-school job money 24 00:00:58,899 --> 00:01:01,307 on a skywriting promposal. 25 00:01:01,386 --> 00:01:03,494 Testifying in court is a matter of duty and honor. 26 00:01:03,570 --> 00:01:06,722 Besides, everyone knows Amy is going to the prom with Josh. 27 00:01:06,724 --> 00:01:08,391 [groans] 28 00:01:08,393 --> 00:01:11,652 ♪ Are you gonna be my girl? ♪ 29 00:01:11,730 --> 00:01:13,897 ♪ Yeah. ♪ 30 00:01:13,899 --> 00:01:15,564 Mr. Teen, isn't it true 31 00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:17,750 that while working as an employee of Builders' Barn, 32 00:01:17,826 --> 00:01:20,402 you rented a backhoe to this man 33 00:01:20,405 --> 00:01:22,587 Homer J. Simpson? 34 00:01:22,664 --> 00:01:23,664 Yes. 35 00:01:23,742 --> 00:01:25,424 And what reason did Mr. Simpson give 36 00:01:25,501 --> 00:01:27,168 for renting the machine? 37 00:01:27,245 --> 00:01:29,186 To quote, "dig a bitching swimming pool 38 00:01:29,263 --> 00:01:31,914 "in his backyard, then throw an awesome pool party 39 00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,858 and not invite Flanders." 40 00:01:33,935 --> 00:01:35,859 But in the process of digging the pool, 41 00:01:35,861 --> 00:01:38,846 Mr. Simpson destroyed local gas, sewer, 42 00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:41,774 and power lines, causing rolling blackouts 43 00:01:41,850 --> 00:01:43,926 that affect Springfield to this... 44 00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:47,162 - [electricity buzzing] - ...day. 45 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:52,617 This man is so obviously incompetent 46 00:01:52,694 --> 00:01:55,771 that he never should have been allowed to rent a backhoe. 47 00:01:55,774 --> 00:01:58,531 And that is why Mr. Simpson 48 00:01:58,533 --> 00:02:00,459 is suing Builders' Barn. 49 00:02:00,536 --> 00:02:01,944 He's suing us? 50 00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:03,462 Your Honor, I'd like to take over 51 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:05,114 the questioning, if I may. 52 00:02:05,115 --> 00:02:08,450 Mr. Simpson, only a fool has himself for a lawyer. 53 00:02:08,453 --> 00:02:10,812 That's exactly my point, sir. 54 00:02:12,806 --> 00:02:14,957 When Mr. Simpson, that is myself, 55 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,217 rented the heavy machinery in question, 56 00:02:17,295 --> 00:02:20,646 isn't it true that my breath smelled strongly of beer... 57 00:02:20,723 --> 00:02:22,556 as it does now? 58 00:02:22,634 --> 00:02:23,848 [exhales] 59 00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:25,985 I don't know what beer smells like. 60 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:28,336 I was going to have my first one ever 61 00:02:28,338 --> 00:02:30,139 at the after-prom party. 62 00:02:30,140 --> 00:02:31,490 [crying] 63 00:02:31,567 --> 00:02:34,418 Homer can't even unfold a lawn chair. 64 00:02:34,496 --> 00:02:36,437 I don't think he understands doors. 65 00:02:36,514 --> 00:02:40,149 He's fat and lazy and carries diner jelly packs 66 00:02:40,151 --> 00:02:42,001 in his shirt pocket. 67 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:43,576 That's irrelevant and prejudicial. 68 00:02:43,655 --> 00:02:45,805 Let her speak! 69 00:02:48,175 --> 00:02:50,751 - Has the jury reached a verdict? - Yes. 70 00:02:50,829 --> 00:02:52,512 We're very disappointed this turned out 71 00:02:52,587 --> 00:02:53,920 to be a real trial 72 00:02:53,998 --> 00:02:56,775 and not a hidden-camera comedy reality show. 73 00:02:56,850 --> 00:02:59,610 Also, we have no choice but to find for the plaintiff. 74 00:02:59,687 --> 00:03:01,687 - D'oh! - You're the plaintiff. 75 00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:04,264 - Woo-hoo! - [sighs] I've spent 25 years 76 00:03:04,342 --> 00:03:06,175 fighting for Lady Justice. 77 00:03:06,176 --> 00:03:08,769 Today I learned she's nothing but a painted tart, 78 00:03:08,847 --> 00:03:11,288 and I run the flophouse where she turns tricks. 79 00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:14,850 I award Mr. Simpson the minimum possible damages. 80 00:03:14,853 --> 00:03:17,110 $95. 81 00:03:17,129 --> 00:03:19,187 Yes! Come on, everybody. 82 00:03:19,189 --> 00:03:22,525 Jury wave. 83 00:03:22,526 --> 00:03:24,760 No alternates. 84 00:03:29,050 --> 00:03:30,365 [Homer] Kids. 85 00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:32,884 Look what Daddy bought with his settlement money. 86 00:03:32,961 --> 00:03:35,795 Floatie noodles and pool balls? 87 00:03:35,873 --> 00:03:38,040 We don't have a pool, Homer. 88 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:40,043 We have a hole, which you can't fix 89 00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:42,078 because the judge banned you from renting 90 00:03:42,079 --> 00:03:44,656 any class A excavating equipment. 91 00:03:44,731 --> 00:03:46,716 It's now in the permanent court record 92 00:03:46,718 --> 00:03:48,384 that I married a buffoon. 93 00:03:48,385 --> 00:03:50,552 It was stipulated by all parties. 94 00:03:50,555 --> 00:03:53,406 On the plus side, Homer now has an entry on Wiccapedia. 95 00:03:53,481 --> 00:03:56,650 [gasps] "Homer J. Simpson is the first American citizen 96 00:03:56,728 --> 00:03:59,485 to become a court-certified idiot"? 97 00:03:59,563 --> 00:04:00,746 [groans] 98 00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:03,399 Wow, and it's not just a stub. 99 00:04:03,401 --> 00:04:05,418 The admin really put some time into it. 100 00:04:05,493 --> 00:04:08,905 Is this what you want your legacy on this planet to be? 101 00:04:08,907 --> 00:04:10,256 It's not just this. 102 00:04:10,258 --> 00:04:11,998 I got other stuff, like, uh... 103 00:04:12,076 --> 00:04:13,925 I fell into wet cement in front of the church 104 00:04:14,002 --> 00:04:16,521 and left a very recognizable ass print. 105 00:04:16,598 --> 00:04:17,855 - Mind the print. - Aah! 106 00:04:17,932 --> 00:04:19,356 - Mind the ass print. - [groans] 107 00:04:19,507 --> 00:04:20,917 - It's a big one. - [groans] 108 00:04:20,918 --> 00:04:23,252 And, uh, well, uh, there's, uh... 109 00:04:23,254 --> 00:04:24,586 Ooh, I know. 110 00:04:24,588 --> 00:04:26,363 My legacy can be Lisa. 111 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,106 She's my legacy. 112 00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:31,093 Aw, I called dibs on Lisa in the delivery room. 113 00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:32,519 I saw her first. 114 00:04:32,596 --> 00:04:34,038 [both groan] 115 00:04:34,189 --> 00:04:35,615 [Homer snores] 116 00:04:35,691 --> 00:04:37,792 Legacy... 117 00:04:39,528 --> 00:04:40,620 Who are you? 118 00:04:40,696 --> 00:04:41,713 Where am I? 119 00:04:41,863 --> 00:04:43,529 We're in the wonderful future. 120 00:04:43,608 --> 00:04:46,959 And I'm your guide, travel host and author Rick Steves. 121 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:50,947 Every Sunday night Lisa puts me on TV and you fall asleep. 122 00:04:50,949 --> 00:04:53,298 That's why you're sleeping right now. 123 00:04:53,375 --> 00:04:54,725 - [snoring] - [French music playing on TV] 124 00:04:54,952 --> 00:04:58,045 There's no better place for a perfect gratin dauphinois 125 00:04:58,122 --> 00:05:00,880 than on a train to Montrachet. 126 00:05:00,959 --> 00:05:03,216 Someday, Rick, someday. 127 00:05:03,293 --> 00:05:06,144 These statues honor the legacies of the many people 128 00:05:06,221 --> 00:05:08,906 who made a difference in Springfield. 129 00:05:14,154 --> 00:05:16,062 [snoring] 130 00:05:16,081 --> 00:05:17,415 Sleep sleeping? 131 00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:20,158 Legacy! Where's my statue? 132 00:05:20,235 --> 00:05:21,586 You don't have one. 133 00:05:21,663 --> 00:05:25,072 Because you've never done anything worth remembering. 134 00:05:25,149 --> 00:05:27,516 I bet Lenny doesn't have a legacy statue. 135 00:05:27,518 --> 00:05:29,802 Look what we're standing on right now. 136 00:05:31,579 --> 00:05:32,596 [Homer] D'oh! 137 00:05:32,673 --> 00:05:35,490 Lenny invented invisible suspenders. 138 00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:37,843 Guess what's holding up my pants. 139 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,846 The point is, they're all remembered and you aren't. 140 00:05:41,923 --> 00:05:44,000 Now let me ask you something else. 141 00:05:44,002 --> 00:05:45,944 Have you donated to PBS this year? 142 00:05:46,019 --> 00:05:48,862 Never! 143 00:05:50,341 --> 00:05:52,524 Dumb, stupid, dumb. 144 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,343 Abe, can you talk to him? 145 00:05:54,345 --> 00:05:56,620 He's been at the bottom of that hole for hours. 146 00:05:56,697 --> 00:05:59,624 I've been feeding him like a dolphin. 147 00:06:00,459 --> 00:06:02,627 [yipping] 148 00:06:05,355 --> 00:06:09,300 So, what's got you sitting in a hole this time, son? 149 00:06:09,377 --> 00:06:10,875 No legacy. 150 00:06:10,952 --> 00:06:13,120 The nearest the Simpsons ever came to a legacy 151 00:06:13,197 --> 00:06:15,380 was when my uncle had a soup named after him 152 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,956 at the chowder hall. 153 00:06:17,035 --> 00:06:20,036 A lot of people got sick from Stan soup. 154 00:06:20,038 --> 00:06:23,389 So stop your ninny-whimpling and get out of this hole. 155 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,649 Hey, you ruined my roundsie! 156 00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:27,151 I ruin-sied your round-what? 157 00:06:27,228 --> 00:06:29,319 When the ball goes all the way around the walls, 158 00:06:29,396 --> 00:06:32,656 I call it a "roundsie." 159 00:06:32,733 --> 00:06:34,641 See? Roundsie. 160 00:06:34,718 --> 00:06:36,718 That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen. 161 00:06:36,721 --> 00:06:38,663 Let me try. 162 00:06:39,814 --> 00:06:41,389 - [Grampa laughs] - [ball bouncing] 163 00:06:41,391 --> 00:06:42,850 [Homer laughs, grunts] 164 00:06:42,927 --> 00:06:44,744 [both laughing, grunting] 165 00:06:44,819 --> 00:06:46,394 Whoa! [laughs] 166 00:06:46,396 --> 00:06:48,630 [both grunting, laughing] 167 00:06:51,084 --> 00:06:53,252 Son, I never played catch with you 168 00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,754 or tossed you a football 169 00:06:54,829 --> 00:06:56,588 or taught you how to ride a bike. 170 00:06:56,665 --> 00:06:58,499 I hate you, you monster! 171 00:06:58,576 --> 00:07:00,500 But now we have this. 172 00:07:00,577 --> 00:07:03,187 Yeah... you're all right. 173 00:07:03,264 --> 00:07:05,004 Noodles, balls? 174 00:07:05,083 --> 00:07:07,266 What do you call this wonderful game? 175 00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:10,511 I don't know, but it's gonna be something really clever. 176 00:07:10,588 --> 00:07:12,678 We call it Noodleball. 177 00:07:12,757 --> 00:07:14,757 It's exercise without movement. 178 00:07:14,759 --> 00:07:16,591 It's safe for your brittle bones. 179 00:07:16,593 --> 00:07:17,942 And you don't have to face the thing 180 00:07:18,019 --> 00:07:20,262 all us seniors fear about pools: 181 00:07:20,264 --> 00:07:23,432 trying to peel off a wet bathing suit. 182 00:07:23,434 --> 00:07:25,451 - I'll try that. - Give me one of those noodles. 183 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:28,086 [indistinct chatter] 184 00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,957 Dad, maybe Noodleball is what will make 185 00:07:33,034 --> 00:07:34,944 the Simpson name live forever. 186 00:07:34,946 --> 00:07:38,221 A legacy that we created together. 187 00:07:38,298 --> 00:07:40,891 I'll jelly to that. 188 00:07:47,882 --> 00:07:50,401 Springfield's golden-agers are lining up 189 00:07:50,478 --> 00:07:51,884 to go six feet under... 190 00:07:51,963 --> 00:07:54,146 in empty swimming pools. 191 00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:56,389 So how does this piscine pastime work? 192 00:07:56,466 --> 00:07:57,408 If you hit the ball 193 00:07:57,485 --> 00:07:58,408 past your opponents 194 00:07:58,485 --> 00:08:00,411 and it bounces back to you, 195 00:08:00,487 --> 00:08:02,413 that's a roundsie: one point. 196 00:08:02,490 --> 00:08:04,656 [Grampa] Your opponents are trying to block the roundsie 197 00:08:04,809 --> 00:08:06,584 and hit it back to score their own point. 198 00:08:06,661 --> 00:08:08,920 [Homer] Play until three balls get knocked out of the pool, 199 00:08:08,995 --> 00:08:12,238 and then everyone can check their phone for ten minutes. 200 00:08:12,317 --> 00:08:14,091 So dive on in to Noodleball 201 00:08:14,168 --> 00:08:18,321 and drown the dog days of summer in the deep end of fun. 202 00:08:18,622 --> 00:08:21,047 Speaking of dogs, let's meet the spaniel 203 00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:24,192 who's predicted every Super Bowl wrong. 204 00:08:32,820 --> 00:08:33,744 [squawks] 205 00:08:33,821 --> 00:08:34,970 A perfect roundsie! 206 00:08:34,971 --> 00:08:36,321 We win again! 207 00:08:36,398 --> 00:08:37,990 Since you've been playing Noodleball, 208 00:08:38,066 --> 00:08:40,993 your weight gain has plateaued. 209 00:08:41,068 --> 00:08:45,330 If you keep this up, you could not gain 50 pounds. 210 00:08:45,407 --> 00:08:48,817 Dad, look what just came up on Wiccapedia. 211 00:08:48,818 --> 00:08:50,243 [Homer] Hmm. 212 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,821 The world is noticing the Simpsons... 213 00:08:52,822 --> 00:08:54,173 in a good way. 214 00:08:54,249 --> 00:08:55,749 Look at these seniors, 215 00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:58,101 playing like there is a tomorrow. 216 00:08:58,178 --> 00:09:00,062 ♪ Na-na-na, come on ♪ 217 00:09:01,606 --> 00:09:04,649 ♪ Na-na-na-na-na, come on ♪ 218 00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:07,092 ♪ Na-na-na, come on ♪ 219 00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:08,778 ♪ Come on, come on ♪ 220 00:09:08,855 --> 00:09:10,764 ♪ Na-na-na-na ♪ 221 00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:12,765 ♪ Feels so good being bad ♪ 222 00:09:12,842 --> 00:09:14,768 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 223 00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:16,620 ♪ There's no way I'm turning back ♪ 224 00:09:16,697 --> 00:09:18,288 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 225 00:09:18,365 --> 00:09:20,791 ♪ Now the pain is for pleasure ♪ 226 00:09:20,868 --> 00:09:22,017 ♪ Oh. ♪ 227 00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:23,701 Dad, Grampa, we have 228 00:09:23,703 --> 00:09:25,129 a problem at the south pool! 229 00:09:25,206 --> 00:09:27,614 Oh, another old person three-way? 230 00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:28,856 Just hose 'em out of there. 231 00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:29,966 Worse! 232 00:09:30,043 --> 00:09:32,043 Out of the pool, noodle heads. 233 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,287 It's summer, and the kids want to swim. 234 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:36,139 Go jump in the lake, water baby. 235 00:09:36,216 --> 00:09:37,975 You're in Noodleball country. 236 00:09:38,052 --> 00:09:41,220 Even the very tall need a place to swim. 237 00:09:41,296 --> 00:09:44,481 And our children need to cool off in the hot summer. 238 00:09:44,633 --> 00:09:48,152 Won't everyone please not think about the children? 239 00:09:52,066 --> 00:09:54,383 [all groaning sadly] 240 00:09:54,384 --> 00:09:57,495 Don't worry, there's other pools in this town. 241 00:10:02,149 --> 00:10:03,908 Hey, we were here first. 242 00:10:03,985 --> 00:10:05,586 Talk to the tag. 243 00:10:07,506 --> 00:10:08,839 Vape 'em out! 244 00:10:08,916 --> 00:10:10,673 [coughing] 245 00:10:10,750 --> 00:10:12,083 It's cotton candy bubble gum. 246 00:10:12,159 --> 00:10:13,585 Don't breathe it in. 247 00:10:13,662 --> 00:10:16,388 [worried groaning] 248 00:10:18,833 --> 00:10:20,350 We're losing pools all over town. 249 00:10:20,427 --> 00:10:23,019 What if we try to take over some pickleball courts? 250 00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:25,581 No, those Wiffle Ball whackers are psycho. 251 00:10:25,599 --> 00:10:28,432 They killed tennis without even breaking a sweat. 252 00:10:28,509 --> 00:10:31,677 Dad, there's a new section on your Wiccapedia page. 253 00:10:31,755 --> 00:10:33,922 - Controversies. - [screams] 254 00:10:33,923 --> 00:10:35,774 There's a petition to ban Noodleball, 255 00:10:35,775 --> 00:10:37,534 "which has antagonized swimmers, 256 00:10:37,610 --> 00:10:40,687 scuba practicers, and frat house cannonballers." 257 00:10:40,764 --> 00:10:42,597 Aw, that's all the thought leaders. 258 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,100 We can't let Noodleball end up a failed sport, 259 00:10:45,101 --> 00:10:47,192 like racquetball or soccer. 260 00:10:47,270 --> 00:10:49,772 Our father-son legacy is in danger. 261 00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,530 We got to do something. 262 00:10:51,533 --> 00:10:53,609 Think! Think! 263 00:10:53,610 --> 00:10:54,884 Hit harder! 264 00:10:54,961 --> 00:10:56,220 Homer, Abe. 265 00:10:56,297 --> 00:10:58,462 There's someone here who wants to see you. 266 00:10:58,539 --> 00:11:01,206 [whispering] I let him in because he's wearing a suit. 267 00:11:01,284 --> 00:11:03,208 Gentlemen, I'm Gabriel Razelton. 268 00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:05,044 People call me "The Raz." 269 00:11:05,121 --> 00:11:06,730 But you shouldn't because I hate it. 270 00:11:06,807 --> 00:11:09,048 I represent a consortium of companies that can help 271 00:11:09,125 --> 00:11:12,476 Noodleball not only survive but thrive. 272 00:11:12,553 --> 00:11:14,296 What consortium? 273 00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:17,816 I can tell you, or I can show you. 274 00:11:17,893 --> 00:11:19,817 Uh, give us a minute. 275 00:11:19,894 --> 00:11:21,653 Well, what do you think? I'm all for show. 276 00:11:21,730 --> 00:11:23,246 No, I think we should do tell. 277 00:11:23,323 --> 00:11:25,490 - Let him show it... - No, I prefer he'd tell it... 278 00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:27,993 [overlapping arguing] 279 00:11:28,070 --> 00:11:29,919 Okay, we want you to tell us. 280 00:11:29,996 --> 00:11:32,815 No, you idiot, we decided show! 281 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:35,000 Oh, just give us one more huddle. 282 00:11:35,076 --> 00:11:37,653 Show! It was always show! 283 00:11:37,654 --> 00:11:40,096 The avocado, or as some call it, 284 00:11:40,173 --> 00:11:41,823 the alligator pear. 285 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,267 Simple, natural, 286 00:11:43,344 --> 00:11:46,102 a little nutty, just like Noodleball. 287 00:11:47,088 --> 00:11:48,679 "Avi-cado"? Never heard of it. 288 00:11:48,756 --> 00:11:51,834 The only green thing I eat is Marge's Mountain Dew pudding. 289 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,851 Mm, oh. 290 00:11:53,928 --> 00:11:56,947 That glop's easy on the gums. 291 00:11:57,024 --> 00:11:58,690 It is pretty creamy. 292 00:11:58,767 --> 00:12:00,951 Are you sure it isn't lard? 293 00:12:01,028 --> 00:12:02,285 Absolutely. 294 00:12:02,363 --> 00:12:04,437 You can see why we at the Organic Pit-based 295 00:12:04,514 --> 00:12:06,289 Enjoyment Council think that avocados 296 00:12:06,366 --> 00:12:08,866 are the perfect sponsor for Noodleball. 297 00:12:08,943 --> 00:12:10,701 Can you get us our pools back? 298 00:12:10,778 --> 00:12:12,921 Oh, I can do better than that. 299 00:12:16,693 --> 00:12:17,783 I give you... 300 00:12:17,861 --> 00:12:19,970 the future of Noodleball. 301 00:12:20,346 --> 00:12:22,422 This is the Avo-1 Noodleplex, 302 00:12:22,499 --> 00:12:24,499 featuring eight state-of-the-art, 303 00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:26,518 - empty, never-swum-in pools. - [both] Hmm. 304 00:12:26,594 --> 00:12:28,110 Now, I hope you don't mind, 305 00:12:28,187 --> 00:12:29,854 but we've put a statue of you and Grampa 306 00:12:29,931 --> 00:12:31,096 right at the entrance. 307 00:12:31,174 --> 00:12:33,508 We'll be remembered forever, 308 00:12:33,509 --> 00:12:36,452 like that dude in the Lincoln Memorial. 309 00:12:36,529 --> 00:12:39,456 We've got plans for all kinds of avocado tie-ins: 310 00:12:39,533 --> 00:12:42,125 oils, face masks, hair conditioners. 311 00:12:42,201 --> 00:12:44,461 Big A isn't just guac and chips. 312 00:12:44,611 --> 00:12:46,187 [laughs] 313 00:12:46,190 --> 00:12:48,023 [laughing] 314 00:12:48,024 --> 00:12:49,966 Is this guy always so funny? 315 00:12:50,043 --> 00:12:51,616 [both laughing] 316 00:12:51,695 --> 00:12:53,427 I don't know. 317 00:12:55,123 --> 00:12:57,139 So, can we make this deal happen 318 00:12:57,292 --> 00:12:59,551 and raise an avocado toast? 319 00:12:59,626 --> 00:13:00,552 [clink] 320 00:13:00,669 --> 00:13:02,128 Oh, son. 321 00:13:02,206 --> 00:13:05,539 We created a sport that will live forever. 322 00:13:05,542 --> 00:13:08,150 Now, Grampa, we've got a PR guy just down the hall 323 00:13:08,227 --> 00:13:10,653 who wants to hear the story of your life. 324 00:13:10,730 --> 00:13:11,654 Hmm. 325 00:13:11,731 --> 00:13:13,322 [grunting] 326 00:13:13,399 --> 00:13:16,234 When I was a boy, you kissed any horse that walked by. 327 00:13:16,311 --> 00:13:19,553 And that's how I acquired my taste for hay. 328 00:13:19,556 --> 00:13:22,057 Homer, I've always been honest with you, right? 329 00:13:22,058 --> 00:13:23,725 - Right. - Wrong. 330 00:13:23,726 --> 00:13:26,076 I lied when I said Noodleball was for everyone. 331 00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:28,395 No one's going to pay to watch ancient athletes 332 00:13:28,398 --> 00:13:30,731 break their hips and have heart attacks. 333 00:13:30,734 --> 00:13:33,658 Our vision of Noodleball is for a younger demographic. 334 00:13:33,736 --> 00:13:37,404 You want to make Noodleball only for 20-somethings? 335 00:13:37,407 --> 00:13:39,240 Oh, God, no, they don't have any money. 336 00:13:39,243 --> 00:13:41,350 I'm talking 40-to-60-year-olds. 337 00:13:41,427 --> 00:13:44,412 The last generation that can afford houses. 338 00:13:44,413 --> 00:13:47,024 We have to scrub out every trace of your father 339 00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:49,250 and his gang of shuffling catheters, 340 00:13:49,253 --> 00:13:51,086 or Noodleball's future is blacker 341 00:13:51,087 --> 00:13:52,946 than a recently opened avocado. 342 00:13:55,091 --> 00:13:56,849 I can't dump Grampa. 343 00:13:56,927 --> 00:13:57,868 He's my father. 344 00:13:57,985 --> 00:13:59,519 We're like brothers. 345 00:13:59,596 --> 00:14:01,245 Oh... 346 00:14:02,948 --> 00:14:04,783 I'm sorry, but my dad and I 347 00:14:04,859 --> 00:14:06,451 created Noodleball together. 348 00:14:06,528 --> 00:14:07,284 [sighs] 349 00:14:07,361 --> 00:14:08,711 You're a man of rare integrity. 350 00:14:08,863 --> 00:14:11,298 - But I accept your deci... - I'll do it! The old man's out! 351 00:14:17,129 --> 00:14:18,538 Homer, Marge! 352 00:14:18,615 --> 00:14:20,282 Welcome to the first Noodleball 353 00:14:20,283 --> 00:14:21,390 celebrity tournament. 354 00:14:21,467 --> 00:14:22,966 Pretty fantastic, huh? 355 00:14:23,043 --> 00:14:24,952 It's a very impressive tent. 356 00:14:24,955 --> 00:14:27,397 Whoever ironed it knew what they were doing. 357 00:14:27,474 --> 00:14:29,124 Avocado oil Bellini? 358 00:14:29,125 --> 00:14:30,399 Get that crap out of my face. 359 00:14:30,476 --> 00:14:31,884 Now come, I want you to meet 360 00:14:31,961 --> 00:14:33,903 some of the amazing youth-adjacent athletes 361 00:14:33,980 --> 00:14:35,221 who are competing today. 362 00:14:35,298 --> 00:14:36,130 Blake Griffin. 363 00:14:36,133 --> 00:14:37,649 Noodleball is the perfect game 364 00:14:37,801 --> 00:14:40,744 for retired players whose bodies have been permanently destroyed 365 00:14:40,821 --> 00:14:42,028 by the sport they love. 366 00:14:42,062 --> 00:14:43,746 Which is all of us. 367 00:14:45,066 --> 00:14:46,825 Ow! My spinning finger. 368 00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:47,918 It was supposed to be fixed 369 00:14:47,994 --> 00:14:50,754 after my third Meadowlark Lemon surgery. 370 00:14:50,831 --> 00:14:52,330 Homer Simpson, 371 00:14:52,407 --> 00:14:54,423 of course you know Megan Rapinoe. 372 00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,426 I bet Lisa knows who you are. 373 00:14:56,427 --> 00:14:59,428 Lisa Simpson? I love her Substack. 374 00:14:59,505 --> 00:15:02,581 If you're her dad, this explains so much. 375 00:15:02,658 --> 00:15:04,917 Thank you, Megan Rapinoe. 376 00:15:04,995 --> 00:15:07,495 Our targeted marketing to 40- and 50-somethings 377 00:15:07,496 --> 00:15:09,331 is really paying off. 378 00:15:09,633 --> 00:15:12,299 My whole life I've worshipped 379 00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:15,077 the false god of tucking in. 380 00:15:15,154 --> 00:15:16,729 Step-in shoes! 381 00:15:16,806 --> 00:15:20,667 Oh! I'll never lower my arms below my knees again. 382 00:15:22,068 --> 00:15:24,144 This is so amazing. 383 00:15:24,147 --> 00:15:26,588 I just feel bad that Grampa and the other old folks 384 00:15:26,666 --> 00:15:28,591 can't be a part of all this. 385 00:15:28,668 --> 00:15:31,534 Yeah, that's kind of a sensitive subject. 386 00:15:31,613 --> 00:15:33,004 You did tell him, right? 387 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,490 You know, hard conversations like this, 388 00:15:35,491 --> 00:15:38,584 it's all about picking the right moment. 389 00:15:38,662 --> 00:15:40,586 - Oh, Homer. - Darling. 390 00:15:40,663 --> 00:15:42,513 - Homer. - My beloved. 391 00:15:42,590 --> 00:15:44,347 Are you waiting for your father to die 392 00:15:44,424 --> 00:15:48,427 so you won't have to tell him you totally screwed him over? 393 00:15:48,504 --> 00:15:50,504 - Little bit. - Oh. 394 00:15:50,506 --> 00:15:54,509 That alligator-pear-pushing parasite gave me the heave-ho! 395 00:15:54,510 --> 00:15:56,193 Doesn't he know we're a team? 396 00:15:56,269 --> 00:15:57,787 We invented this together! 397 00:15:57,864 --> 00:16:00,014 Oh, great, now your memory's good. 398 00:16:00,015 --> 00:16:02,365 This was the only way to save Noodleball. 399 00:16:02,442 --> 00:16:04,534 At least one of us can have a legacy. 400 00:16:04,611 --> 00:16:06,962 And you betrayed me for that? 401 00:16:07,039 --> 00:16:08,206 Guess what. 402 00:16:08,282 --> 00:16:10,633 Legacy don't mean squat. 403 00:16:13,788 --> 00:16:14,378 Squat?! 404 00:16:14,455 --> 00:16:15,638 Justify yourself! 405 00:16:15,715 --> 00:16:18,381 Who cares what people think after you're gone? 406 00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:20,309 You ain't there to get the credit, 407 00:16:20,385 --> 00:16:21,977 if they remember you at all. 408 00:16:22,054 --> 00:16:24,147 Do you know who Johnny Carson was? 409 00:16:24,298 --> 00:16:25,539 Nope. 410 00:16:25,542 --> 00:16:27,317 - David Letterman? - Nuh-uh. 411 00:16:27,393 --> 00:16:28,558 Jimmy Fallon? 412 00:16:28,561 --> 00:16:30,153 Now you're just making up names. 413 00:16:30,230 --> 00:16:32,212 Don't you see? You sold me out 414 00:16:32,215 --> 00:16:35,232 for a few extra words in your obituary. 415 00:16:35,308 --> 00:16:36,900 What's an obituary? 416 00:16:36,977 --> 00:16:39,979 It's where they summarize your whole life in one sentence. 417 00:16:40,056 --> 00:16:41,221 Mine's gonna read: 418 00:16:41,224 --> 00:16:44,649 "He was stabbed in the back by his son." 419 00:16:44,727 --> 00:16:47,318 A real father would support his son's terrible, 420 00:16:47,397 --> 00:16:48,988 heartless decision! 421 00:16:48,990 --> 00:16:51,841 Dad, someday can I screw you out of something we create together? 422 00:16:51,842 --> 00:16:54,844 You do and I'll destroy you. 423 00:16:54,921 --> 00:16:58,014 How could making a deal with avocados be a bad thing? 424 00:16:58,091 --> 00:16:59,664 It's a good fat. 425 00:16:59,743 --> 00:17:02,684 Well, growing avocados does use a lot of water. 426 00:17:02,761 --> 00:17:05,762 Over nine and a half billion liters per day. 427 00:17:05,839 --> 00:17:07,690 What's that in swimming pools? 428 00:17:07,767 --> 00:17:10,174 - 3,800. - [gasps] 429 00:17:10,252 --> 00:17:12,420 And the transport of avocado products 430 00:17:12,422 --> 00:17:15,573 endangers wildlife everywhere. 431 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,614 Avocado oil is just using Noodleball 432 00:17:23,767 --> 00:17:25,932 to cover up the bad stuff they do. 433 00:17:25,934 --> 00:17:28,545 You know, the way Middle East oil spent billions 434 00:17:28,621 --> 00:17:30,863 to create LIV Golf. 435 00:17:30,940 --> 00:17:32,364 LIV Golf can't be bad. 436 00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:34,717 I bleed Mickelson's Maniacs blue. 437 00:17:34,794 --> 00:17:38,613 And now avocado oil is playing the same slippery game. 438 00:17:38,615 --> 00:17:40,463 No, no, I won't believe it. 439 00:17:40,540 --> 00:17:43,617 Not the Organic Pit-based Enjoyment Council. 440 00:17:43,619 --> 00:17:45,561 You mean OPEC? 441 00:17:45,637 --> 00:17:49,065 Oh, "pit-based" is kind of a cheat, but I get it. 442 00:17:49,215 --> 00:17:51,474 I sold out my dad for avocado. 443 00:17:51,551 --> 00:17:52,902 Oil, that is. 444 00:17:52,979 --> 00:17:54,219 Green gold. 445 00:17:54,297 --> 00:17:55,822 Tex-Mex tea. 446 00:17:59,818 --> 00:18:02,153 I demand to play in the tournament! 447 00:18:02,229 --> 00:18:03,637 Of course you can. 448 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,082 You're on the cover of Avocado Aficionado. 449 00:18:06,159 --> 00:18:09,586 [Homer] Oh, yeah, one went up my butt. 450 00:18:09,662 --> 00:18:12,570 Your partner, NFL legend Andrew Luck, 451 00:18:12,648 --> 00:18:14,147 is waiting for you. 452 00:18:14,150 --> 00:18:15,240 Join me, Homer. 453 00:18:15,317 --> 00:18:16,593 I need a new sport. 454 00:18:16,669 --> 00:18:18,819 My wife keeps telling me to stop moving furniture around 455 00:18:18,821 --> 00:18:20,244 and get out of the house. 456 00:18:20,323 --> 00:18:21,823 Andrew, if I played with you, 457 00:18:21,825 --> 00:18:24,342 I'd secure my Noodleball legacy forever. 458 00:18:24,417 --> 00:18:27,627 But at the terrible price of supporting Big Avocado. 459 00:18:27,663 --> 00:18:30,664 So there's another retiree who I'm teaming up with. 460 00:18:30,666 --> 00:18:32,666 [inhales] My father. 461 00:18:32,669 --> 00:18:34,443 We created Noodleball to keep 462 00:18:34,519 --> 00:18:36,519 old people mobile and healthy. 463 00:18:36,521 --> 00:18:38,172 We're taking our sport back, 464 00:18:38,173 --> 00:18:39,615 legacy be damned. 465 00:18:39,767 --> 00:18:43,344 And my son and I challenge your best team. 466 00:18:43,346 --> 00:18:46,455 Do you and this walking wrinklebag really expect to beat 467 00:18:46,531 --> 00:18:48,458 Blake Griffin and Megan Rapinoe? 468 00:18:48,534 --> 00:18:49,683 We're playing now? 469 00:18:49,685 --> 00:18:51,868 I just had three avocado Bellinis. 470 00:18:51,871 --> 00:18:54,188 What is it with you and Bellinis? 471 00:18:54,190 --> 00:18:56,115 They loosen me up, Megan. 472 00:18:56,192 --> 00:18:58,468 ♪ 473 00:18:59,528 --> 00:19:01,637 Thanks for bringing me back, son. 474 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,365 Dad, we never played catch or tossed a football, 475 00:19:05,367 --> 00:19:07,291 but we have this. 476 00:19:07,369 --> 00:19:08,961 You're right, son. 477 00:19:09,038 --> 00:19:10,962 And that's why we're gonna win. 478 00:19:11,039 --> 00:19:14,298 We are this safe, low-impact game. 479 00:19:14,376 --> 00:19:16,193 ♪ 480 00:19:18,064 --> 00:19:18,895 [groans] 481 00:19:18,972 --> 00:19:21,382 - [bones snap] - Ow, my hip! 482 00:19:21,384 --> 00:19:23,492 Ow, my heart! 483 00:19:23,568 --> 00:19:25,219 [crowd gasps] 484 00:19:25,221 --> 00:19:27,054 Noodleball is no more. 485 00:19:27,056 --> 00:19:29,815 In its league premiere, founder Homer Simpson 486 00:19:29,893 --> 00:19:32,669 and his father suffered gruesome career-ending injuries, 487 00:19:32,744 --> 00:19:34,987 ruining Noodleball's professional debut 488 00:19:35,064 --> 00:19:37,731 and sending avocado futures plummeting. 489 00:19:37,733 --> 00:19:38,656 [Grampa groans] 490 00:19:38,734 --> 00:19:40,826 Oh, my sport is dead, 491 00:19:40,903 --> 00:19:44,587 and the only guy who showed up to sign my cast is Andrew Luck. 492 00:19:44,664 --> 00:19:47,016 Ooh, I get the whole space. 493 00:19:47,093 --> 00:19:48,592 Mm-hmm. 494 00:19:48,669 --> 00:19:51,077 Cheer up, Homer, retirement is wonderful. 495 00:19:51,079 --> 00:19:52,521 You'll have so much more time to spend 496 00:19:52,597 --> 00:19:54,432 on your charities and with your family. 497 00:19:54,508 --> 00:19:58,085 Oh! I want a second opinion from Peyton Manning. 498 00:19:58,086 --> 00:19:59,436 [groans] 499 00:19:59,512 --> 00:20:01,087 I'm proud of you, Homie. 500 00:20:01,089 --> 00:20:04,682 You stuck by your dad and rejected Big Avocado. 501 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,261 Although if it comes in a salad, I'm not sending it back. 502 00:20:08,263 --> 00:20:09,354 I love it on a burger. 503 00:20:09,432 --> 00:20:11,457 Or just spooned right out of the skin. 504 00:20:13,435 --> 00:20:16,028 [sighs] If we just swam in those pools, 505 00:20:16,105 --> 00:20:18,940 none of this bad stuff would've happened. 506 00:20:18,942 --> 00:20:22,609 Aw, but the water's so chilly when you first go in. 507 00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:25,846 [sighs] Nothing good came out of this. 508 00:20:27,799 --> 00:20:30,800 This is that backhoe-renting weirdo's house, Amy. 509 00:20:30,877 --> 00:20:33,211 Oh, Andrew, you were so brave 510 00:20:33,288 --> 00:20:35,064 to testify against him. 511 00:20:35,141 --> 00:20:36,790 Mmm. 512 00:20:36,792 --> 00:20:38,567 [deep voice] Oh, my. 513 00:20:38,685 --> 00:20:42,145 ♪ Come on, come on, come on, I like it, like it ♪ 514 00:20:42,222 --> 00:20:47,076 ♪ Come on, come on, come on, I like it, like it, come on. ♪ 515 00:20:52,066 --> 00:20:55,250 [Homer] Official Rules of Noodleball, section 29: 516 00:20:55,327 --> 00:20:57,252 if a dog steals your pool ball, 517 00:20:57,329 --> 00:20:59,238 you're allowed to steal its ball. 518 00:20:59,315 --> 00:21:01,240 [Grampa] All players must count up their meds, 519 00:21:01,317 --> 00:21:03,925 and the one with the most pills serves first. 520 00:21:04,002 --> 00:21:06,336 [Homer] The pool noodle may be blown through 521 00:21:06,413 --> 00:21:07,746 but not yelled through. 522 00:21:07,824 --> 00:21:09,248 [Grampa] In between points, a maximum 523 00:21:09,325 --> 00:21:12,175 of three pictures of grandkids may be shown, 524 00:21:12,252 --> 00:21:16,105 four if the kids are costumed or in a school play. 525 00:21:16,182 --> 00:21:18,923 [Homer] If a player's pool noodle comes untied, 526 00:21:19,001 --> 00:21:21,018 that player must call "Flopper," 527 00:21:21,095 --> 00:21:25,006 and the play is suspended until the laughter subsides. 528 00:21:25,008 --> 00:21:28,785 [Homer] If the pool being played in has a separate hot tub, 529 00:21:28,861 --> 00:21:30,494 nice. 530 00:21:34,366 --> 00:21:36,017 Shh! 531 00:21:36,019 --> 00:21:37,852 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 532 00:21:37,854 --> 00:21:39,278 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 533 00:21:39,355 --> 00:21:41,213 and TOYOTA.